Gagman (1989) - full transcript
Lee Jong-se is a third-rate comedian who believes himself to be a creative genius. He desires nothing more than to be a movie director. When he befriends barber, Mun Do-seok who has hopes to become an actor, it seems like a match made in heaven and the two set off to make a film
Taehung Pictures
Gagman
Produced by Lee Tee-won
Written by Lee Myung-Se
and Bae Chang-ho
Ahn Sung-ki
Hwang Cine
Bae Chang-ho
Chan Moo-song
Guest starring Kim Se-jun
and Son Chang-min
Cho Ju-mi, Ju Ho-sung, Choi Jong-won,
Chu Bong, Cho Chul-nam, Cho Sun-muk
Park Bu-yang, Jeong Young-guk, Cho Yun-jin,
Na Kap-sung, Park Yong-pal, Kim Kyung-ran
Lee Hae-ryong, Shin Chan-il,
Ahn Jin-su, Yu Min-suk
Film Processing: Korean Film Council,
Mixing: Hanyang Studio
Special thanks to
Andre Kim Design Atelier,
Seoul Bank Euljiro 3-ga Branch
Chowon House, the workers of Su-saek Station,
the residents of Imgye-myeon, Gangwon-do
Music credits
"PLEIN SOLEIL" "SUMMER TIME"
"LIME LIGHT" "KID"
Props assistant: Jang Suk-bum,
Special effects assistant: Kim Baek-jin
Recording assistants: Kim Won-yong, Kim Dong-ui,
Negative cutting: Kwon Mi-suk
Lighting assistants: Ham Hyung-suk, Lee Suk-hwan,
Kim Chang-sun, Chon Sang-hyuk
Camera assistants: Kim Myung-su, Kim Sung-bok,
Kim Hyung-gu, Lee Byung-ho
Assistant directors: Gu Im-seo, Oh Seuk-keun,
Continuity: Choi Eun-sil
Props: Kim Tae-uk,
Special effects: Kim Chol-seok
Production design: Do Yong-u,
Stills: Yang Ki-ju
Dresser: Chae Hoon, Hair and Makeup: Cho Kyung-bok,
Photography: Koo Bon-chang
Production manager: Chon Yung-haeng,
Assistant production manager: No Pyung-cheol
Editing: Kim Hyun
Recording: Lee Young-gil
Music: Kim Soo-chul
Lighting: Cha Jeong-nam
Cinematography: You Young-gil
Directed by Lee Myung-Se
Real hot today, isn't it?
Never cared for summer myself
We'd only have spring, fall, and winter
if it were up to me
Say, mister
Are you fond of dog meat?
It's the only thing that keeps my energy
up in summer
It's not fattening, so you can eat as much
as you want
But I can't eat the stuff they serve
at restaurants these days
They get all these poodles and spitzes,
any kind, really
and just feed them water
so the meat's all tough and
there's nothing to eat on them
When it comes to dog meat
nothing beats a good old Korean mutt
I was looking through the weeklies
and I saw that
Lee Ju-il paid over
a hundred million won in taxes
I guess they make big bucks
in the entertainment business
He wasn't born into money either
I guess some people are just touched
by a lucky star
You must have always had
something special, too, mister
Making your way in show business and all
Mind you, I've been going to the movies
since I was in the womb
They say my mother loved them
So maybe that's why
I've always wanted to be an actor
I used to watch movies all the time
You remember Kirk Douglas in
'The Vikings'?
That was a great movie
Remember when the Vikings come back
and have a feast
That scene where Kirk Douglas is eating
a roasted chicken
Mmm, mmm.
He really goes for that chicken
Poor guy
Give him a rose and he would boil it
and eat it like dog meat
Poor guy
That guy at the back, third from the right,
with the glasses
Could be a bank teller
How he can afford to drink here?
Somebody greased his palm for a loan,
probably
Poor guy
Spends his days counting money and
trying to get girls in bed
Poor guy
Number 17 over there, she's laughing
on the outside
But on the inside, all she cares about
is her tips
I see that lady came again tonight
With a younger guy this time
Poor woman
Play her Beethoven and
she would dance the jitterbug
When did dreams give way to bread
When did cash take the place of romance
When did this world turn into a desert
where not a single blade of grass would grow?
What should Lee Jong-sae,
genius of this age
do in such a world?
This has been your twittering skylark,
your lovable buffoon
The always humble and always available
Jong-sae
Comedian Lee Jong-sae
I look forward to seeing you at the
Mammoth again very soon
Good night to you all
Hello Yeah, it's me
What's up? Oh, I'm fine
How's my Michelle?
I'm worried she's getting fat,
she's gained one kilo this past month
She's such a picky eater
She won't touch cheese or milk
I should put her on a diet
Speaking of which, where is she?
Just a sec
Michelle, Michelle?
Michelle!
Sorry, sorry
How's my husband?
He's coming back today
You know he was in the States on a
business trip
No, I'm not the lonely type
He works and I go shopping with my friends
I go to the movies, I enjoy my life
Oh, you switched to golf, too?
I agree.
Aerobics is so tiring and not even fun
I switched to golf, too
What?
You're hitting bogeys already?
Look at you, the pro
Sorry, I have to go now, he's home
Sure, let's play a round sometime
next week
Bye then
Is that you, honey?
It's Lee, ma'am
I'm sorry, ma'am,
but the chief had an accident
on the way home from the airport
He's in surgery now and
we don't have a prognosis yet
Cut!
- Miss You, are you crazy?
- Oh, I'm sorry
I can't stop laughing at his face
What?
You're the director, aren't you?
My compliments, sir
- You have, what, ten scenes left?
- Oh, yes
Can I ask you about the theme
of the movie you're shooting?
Don't you agree that it's rather passé?
We should start filming next month
at the latest, don't you think?
Summer would be best for setting the mood
For the dreamy, haunting, languid quality
I'm going for
And I know it's taking a risk but
I'd like to cast newcomers
I don't see anyone fresh enough
for this film
Sorry, but who are you?
I see you've forgotten my name
It's easy to remember
if you think of skylarks
My name is Jong-sae, Lee Jong-sae
I sent you a script at your office
some time ago
I wrote that script
- Oh, I see.
- You have a break in filming tomorrow, yes?
I need my sleep in the morning so
what do you say about meeting at
three o'clock in the afternoon?
We could meet then to discuss the
filming schedule
Sir, your TV interview is ready to go
OK
Modern women are going through a crisis,
in my opinion
This film takes a serious look at the
sex life of modern couples
as sex becomes commodified in
modern society
Miss You
You're known for being good at love scenes
- Does that come from experience?
- Well, I...
I'm sorry
Sorry about that, let's take this again
Just a minute, I need a fresh tape
You know the Won Cafe', in front of the
Secret Garden
right across from Shinwon Wedding Hall?
I'll see you there at three o'clock
Excuse me
- Look here, Cho
- Yes, sir
Can't you do your job properly? Hmm?
Sorry?
That guy with the mustache
Why are you letting riffraff like that
on set?
I thought you knew him
- Because he was always around you
- No, no!
Do I look like someone who knows
someone like that? Hmm?
In this movie you play a character
who's slightly hysterical, yes?
Let's go to tape here
What is your name, sir?
Your twittering skylark, your beloved
buffoon
The always humble and always available
Jong-sae
- Comedian Lee Jong-sae at your service, sir
- Ah, yes
And you play a comedian in this movie?
Oh, I'm not an actor
I'm a new director
Oh, I see
I have a project coming up with
Mr Jeong's company
Is that so?
Soon the film will be ready for
all 40 million of Korea's people to see
Indeed
I advise you to ask all the questions
you want now
as it will be very hard to interview me
once the movie is out
Hey, you!
This man is nobody, an onlooker
- Excuse me?
- Oh, my
Come over here, I said
What are you gawking at?
Back to work!
- Who are you?
- Excuse me?
The always humble and always available
comedian Lee Jong-sae at your service, sir
Get out
Before I throw you out, OK?
Three o'clock at the Won Café,
in front of the Secret Garden
Please remind the director so
he doesn't forget
I told you to get out of here!
Ladies and Gentlemen
It is my pleasure to address
this distinguished gathering
of those who truly love and understand
cinema
as the medium of dreams and romance
Thank you for being here to share
this moment with me
And, and...
And, and...
I would like to offer my profound thanks
to our staff and cast, who worked tirelessly
to make this film
This award I have been honored with today
is not merely a personal honor for
Lee Jong-sae the individual
but a victory for the great art of film itself
That great medium that shoots through
the darkness of this world and mankind
like an unstoppable midnight express
Oh that's hot!
Mister
Got any new Lee Hyun-se comics?
No, the only new ones we have are
Huh Young-man
Why, sir!
What are you doing
in a place like this, sir?
- Looking for material
- Oh, of course
I saw the movie version of this in
the late-night theater
but the comic was so much better
Hey mister, you finished with these?
I want that one too
when you're finished, OK?
Comics these days are
such a bad influence on children
It's all sports or robot stuff
It was better in our day, sir
Um Hee-ja's 'Glass Castle,'
Kim Jong-re's 'Searching for Mama'
Park Ki-jeong's 'To Go There,'
masterpieces all of them
Then there was science fiction
Sanho's 'Lifi,' 'Tetsujin 28-go'
Park Bu-seong's 'Magic Wand'
They really blew my mind
And Kim Kyung-in's 'Kabuli the Doctor'
or Chu Dong-seong's 'Dr. Jjanggu'
Oh, Chu Dong-seong is what Go U-young
used to go by
- I know
- Of course, sir
Or take Im Chang's 'Ttaingi'
or Park Ki-jun's 'Dutongi'
Great character studies, don't you think?
Moon
- You said you wanted be an actor, right?
- Who, me?
Aw, that was when I was young
I know I'm not cut out to be an actor
If only people really understood comics
they would understand me
- Moon
- Yes?
You're the first person I've met who really
understands me
You'd make a wonderful character actor,
Moon
I've written a script
that I'm supposed to direct soon
I was worried because I couldn't find
an actor to play the lead
I think I've finally found him
Wait for me to contact you
Thank you for giving me this chance
Thank you, I won't let me down
- How many?
- Five
You can't fool me
I saw you sneaking two more
I'll do my best. Thank you
Get a room!
- Come on, let's go
- She must have skipped somewhere else
Creeps
Isn't dancing enough for them?
They buy you a few drinks and think
they can jump all over you
Thanks, mister
Mister
Um... cup of coffee?
You've got a really funny face, mister
I feel like I've seen you before somewhere
Are you in showbiz?
Yes
Did I see you on TV?
Are you on TV, mister?
I'm a director
Are you really a director?
What movies did you direct?
None, yet
You think I could be a movie star or what?
Su-sure
You mind if I come home with you?
Two-faced con artist
You pretend you're doing me a favor
but you're nothing but a wolf
in sheep's clothing
Oh, you'll take me home
and ply me with whiskey
and when I fall into a drunken stupor
you'll put me on the bed
and take off my clothes
I never asked you to come home with me
It was you that asked to c-come
It's getting late, take a cab with this
What do you think?
How was my acting? Mister?
I always wanted to be a singer
But I think from today I'd rather be
an actress
The time?
Oh, it must be 2:30 or so
- You're home late, sir
- Now, where was building 902
It's the building right next to yours, sir
Now if you go this way and take that way
you come right up to... my house
The moment I saw you, I, I...
Words are such empty things
How could I express the fire in my heart
for you
with a few trifling words?
Mister, can I use your toothbrush?
I am your toothbrush
Let me be your toothbrush forever
so I may brush every inch of your body
Oh, tonight I must get drunk
Your face is too dazzling to gaze upon
I could not bear it without liquid courage
Here I go on like some love-struck girl
What's happening to me?
Oh, I feel like my heart is going to stop
Please, have a seat
Is this you, mister?
- What? Do you mind?
- No, not at all
Why did you make this so weak?
I take mine straight
The moment I saw you, my heart went...
It's so hot this year
Where are you going on holiday this year?
- I... you...
- Have you been to Hwajinpo?
I was there last year
The beach isn't bad
but the hotel wasn't up to standard
Have you been to Haeundae, mister?
I haven't been there yet
That's where I'm going on holiday this year
They've got lots of discotheques and
dumb rich guys
I wish I had just one hundred million won
I don't know why I can't win the lottery
I... I feel like getting drunk tonight
Have a drink, then
Where do I sleep?
Here
And a pillow
I really need my beauty sleep or I get
grumpy
so don't wake me up even if
you get up early
The mercury's hitting 2,000 degrees
out there today
so thank you for forsaking your families
on 'Family Day'
to grace the Mammoth with your presence
It is my pleasure to open the Mammoth's
famous variety show
with laughs, songs, and dancing by
very pretty girls
Now, for our first act
Our special singer, Rambo!
Hands up
Hands up
Hands up, I said!
Warning
I repeat, warning
Don't move or make a sound
Or you will be killed instantly
This is an order
A soldier does not give orders twice
Turn on the lights
Turn on the lights!
Turn on the lights!
Mister, do you have a smoke?
No, sorry
I never took up smoking
What sort of work do you do?
The always humble and always available
comedian
Your twittering skylark,
Lee Jong-sae at your service
What are you doing here?
The club is closed today
so I'm rehearsing on my own
Hey, mister
do you know where the bathroom is?
An armed deserter, regiment unknown,
is currently on the run in the direction of
old Chunho-dong crossing
Police and military authorities are
working together in pursuit
Further updates will be available
on the regular news
as soon as the authorities have more
information
This has been breaking news
They should round up ungrateful pigs
like that
Give 'em the firing squad
right in the middle of Gwanghwamun
What's wrong with these jokers?
We feed 'em, clothe 'em, learn 'em skills
All with taxpayers' money
Kids these days
No upbringing whatsoever
Addressing their elders with the familiar
register
And the gals!
All those little gals smoking
and kissing all over the place
soon as they get in a car
I don't know what this world is coming to
Know what I mean? Sir
P-please, let me go
I didn't see anything
I've got a wife and five kids
I would never turn you in
Please let me go
This is all the fare I made today
Please, just spare my life
Don't move, or I'll shoot
Bond, my name is Bond
James Bond
Shanghai Park
For 20 years I've been waiting
for this day
Living on cold boiled barley
in my freezing cell
Whetting my blade, counting the days
to take my revenge
I forgave you for stealing my beloved
Jeong-nim away from me
I forgave you for selling Ok-hee,
my only sister,
to a brothel
However
However
I could never forgive you
for betraying a man's sacred promise
Shanghai Park
Take out your sword
Show me what you're made of
Oh, sir, it's you
I've been waiting for you to contact me
I've been going for a Jack Nicholson look
There's no one like Jack Nicholson
when it comes to character actors
Draw the curtains
Sir
I've sold the barber shop
I got an offer yesterday
so I let it go on the cheap
I've had my eyes done
They were too small, so I got an operation
to make them bigger
I know I shouldn't mention this
but I'm happy to work without a salary
seeing that I'm a newcomer and all
Sir
There's a new bar right next door called
Million Dollar Salon
If you have the time I'd like to invite
you there tonight
as my guest
- Do you know how to shoot a gun?
- Huh? No, not a revolver
I'm so sorry, I wasn't in active service
in the army
Wow
This looks exactly like a real gun
Is it for the movie?
I know how to use this one, it was part of
our training
If you need me to shoot a revolver
I can learn how to do that, too
- What's this?
- Sir, Private Moon Do-suk, it's the buttstock, sir
- This?
- Sir, Private Moon Do-suk, the front sight, sir
- This?
- Sir, Private Moon Do-suk, the pistol grip, sir
- This?
- Sir, Private Moon Do-suk, the trigger, sir
- This?
- Sir, Private Moon Do-suk, the magazine, sir
- This?
- Sir, Private Moon Do-suk, the barrel, sir
Sir
I take it we're making an action movie?
- Yes
- Oh, that's a relief
I was worried it was going to be a drama
I'm more comfortable with action than
drama, you see
- Lock and load
- Yes, sir
Sir, there's this bit I've been practicing
Would you like me to do it for you now?
- Sure, get ready!
- Yes, sir
Sound, lights, camera
Standby, ready, go!
Shanghai Park
Just a sec, sir
Shanghai Park
For 20 years I've been waiting
for this day
Living on cold boiled barley
in my freezing cell
Whetting my blade, counting the days
to take my revenge
I forgave you for stealing my beloved
Jeong-nim away from me
I forgave you for selling Ok-hee,
my only sister,
to a brothel
However I could never forgive you
for betraying a man's sacred promise
Shanghai Park
Take out your gun!
Cut!
Ready!
Scene 20, cut 1, take 2
Let's go
Action!
Look
I hear that when a wife leaves her
husband's house
that husband has no legal responsibility
to her anymore
Anyway, I absolve you of all
responsibility now
You're no longer tied down by me
We are both free now
Cut!
What are you doing here again?
Sir, this is your last chance
You'll regret it for the rest of your life
if you let me slip away
Dammit, stop laughing!
Cho! Where's that Cho?
He went to the bathroom
Sir, everything's ready to go now
I've found some
really good new actors, too
I'm sure you'll like them
when you meet them
- Look here, Cho
- Sir?
What did I tell you about keeping order
on set?
You! You're back?
- Get me a cup of coffee
- You come with me
Where's that coffee?
I could kill you
Do you understand? Huh?
I said cut it out!
Of all the stupid...
Shanghai Park
For 20 years I've been waiting
for this day
Living on cold boiled barley
in my freezing cell
Whetting my blade, counting the days
to take my revenge
I forgave you for stealing my beloved
Jeong-nim away from me
I forgave you for selling Ok-hee,
my only sister,
to a brothel
However
However I could never forgive you
for betraying a man's sacred promise
Shanghai Park!
Take out your gun!
- Hello, this is a pleasant surprise
- Don't talk to me
What a loser, can you believe
the nerve of this guy
He wants me to go on holiday with him
and he doesn't even have a credit card
Who's taking the slow train to Busan
in this heat?
It's so hot in here
I thought you were on TV, mister,
don't you have air conditioning?
Get away from me, what's your problem?
You're a handsy one, aren't you?
- Is your shower broken?
- Yes
I got a call from maintenance saying
the water's off until five
Mister
Can you pass me my bag over there?
Who are you, for real?
I'm a director, this is a prop
Cut it out
P-please don't shoot
It's loaded, it's a real gun
Where did you get a real gun?
It was a gift
You're wanted, aren't you?
What did you do?
Fraud? Robbery-murder? Rape?
I'll shoot if you don't tell me
Wait, I'm not really a director
My name is Lee Jong-sae, the comedian
I'm going for a nap
Wake me up when the water comes back on
Aren't there any adult comics in this?
I wish something exciting would happen
Like a war
Hey, mister
You said this was a real gun, right?
Let's make a movie
I'll play the lead
You just need a hundred million won or so
You can't let your genius rot for that
puny sum, can you?
- Huh?
- Huh
Mister
Why don't we rob a bank?
Like in a Hollywood movie
Good afternoon
Miss
I'm looking for fresh faces
Wanna be a movie star?
So you've got one security guard
and twelve employees
Am I right?
The panic button's under your foot, right?
Isn't that right?
How many minutes for the cops to show up
when you press that?
Just a minute, sir
Now that's some quality air conditioning
Miss
I'm looking for fresh faces
Wanna be a movie star?
- Is something the matter?
- Good afternoon, sir
How many minutes does it take for the cops
to arrive after the bell?
About three minutes is it?
How much cash do you have there?
Who are you?
I'm Moon, the actor
Could you speak up, please
I'm Moon, the actor
How can we help you today?
My director asked me
to make some discreet inquiries
for the movie we're making
So that's what I'm doing
- What kind of film is it?
- It's an action movie
What's it called?
You know what,
let me go ask and come back
Thank you
Sir!
I made the inquiries you asked me to
There's one security guard and
12 employees
And it takes about three minutes
for the police to arrive
after the panic alarm goes off
But I wasn't able to find out
the other stuff
What is our title? It's a gang movie,
isn't it?
Settle down, fellas, you're like bulls
in a china shop
Oh, it's hot
- Sir
- You like dog-meat soup, don't you?
Let me order a bowl for you
One bowl of dog-meat soup, please!
What? Who orders dog-meat soup in a
snack restaurant?
What a joke
Sir, am I supposed to be playing a robb...
Oh, did I drop that?
Sir
Am I playing a bank robber in the movie?
You like steamed dumplings, don't you?
I used to eat fifty in one sitting
Now thirty is all I can manage
Sir
I know it's not my place, so don't
take this to heart
but, when I look at other movies
bank robbers use revolvers, not rifles
Why are there so many flies in this shop?
It's summer, show me a restaurant that
doesn't have flies
- How much do I owe you?
- Two thousand won
Oh, you came all the way here?
The title is still a secret!
Shanghai Park, bang bang!
You, fatty, get out
Do you have any brain cells at all?
Hey
Do you think this is a game? Huh?
You can't talk to me like that, even if
you're the main actress
I'm older than you
Then act your age, dumb-ass
Stuffing your face all the time and
dumb as a sack of rocks
Sir
I can't take this any longer
Hey
What are you going to do, then?
I'm the one who can't take it any longer!
Who told you to bring the police back with
you, dumb-ass?
I didn't know what the title was!
I can't work with fatty over there
He's going to be the ruin of us
Call it off now or let the fatty go,
you decide
Sir, I was just doing what you asked me to
Didn't you ask me to find out things
for the movie?
It's not for the movie, stupid, it's for real
For real
We're going to rob a bank, for real?
You're pulling my leg, sir
Do I look like someone who would pull
your leg?
There are no more masterpieces
in this age in which we live
No 'Gone with the Wind,'
no 'Ben Hur'
No 'Sorrow up in Heaven,'
everything gone with the wind
We live in a whirlwind racing towards
the 21st century
Who will make the pièce de résistance
of this era?
Who has the vision for mankind to follow?
Many are the days that Lee Jong-sae toiled
and tortured himself to solve this riddle
Finally he gave birth to his masterpiece
A stroke of light in this desert of
darkness
And
And
When I met you, Sun-young, a pure lily,
and you, Do-suk, a strong character actor,
When I found my two leads
my heart burst with joy
and I felt certain that
this would be the making of
a masterpiece that every one of the
40 million Koreans could see
However
However, the masses, in thrall to
the gods of consumerism
failed to recognize this work of genius
for what it was
Do you want Lee Jong-sae
to lay his dreams away forever?
N-n-no, sir
Do you want to see Lee Jong-sae defeated
for want of one hundred million won?
Forgive me, sir
Hello, is there something wrong
with your car?
- You're trembling
- N-no sir
It's just s-so h-hot in the car
Stay cool
Don't worry, I'm a man of my word
I'm falling asleep here, get a move on
Are you ready?
Yes, sir
Sir, can I have a minute?
Why?
I need to go for a number two
You can go in ten minutes
Hands up! Freeze, or I'll shoot!
Hands up! Hands up!
This is a real bank robbery!
You over there, don't move!
We know where the panic button is!
- Where's the safe?
- Th-the safe...
Open the safe!
Open it!
We don't have the key
The manager went out and took the key
with him
Don't lie to me!
It's true
He went out to the Buho Café with a guest
Shall I go bring him back?
Yes!
Sir, don't let them trick you!
Wait a minute
Don't move or I'll shoot!
Hey, you
Put your hands up!
Where do you come from?
Seoul
Namdaemun or Dongdaemun?
You ever heard of Ssangcal?
You're speaking to Ssangcal of Seodaemun
Back in the day we used axes or
sushi knives
We didn't fool around with toy guns
like this
You think you're the Mafia or what?
Shut up!
Pipe down, fatty
You want to attract the cops again?
What are you doing? Chop chop!
Freeze, or I'll shoot!
Ladies and gentlemen
This is your host, your twittering skylark
your beloved buffoon
The always humble
and always available Jong-sae
Comedian Lee Jong-sae
The mercury's hitting 2,000 degrees
out there today
so thank you for forsaking your families
on 'Family Day'
to grace the Mammoth with your presence
Before we open the Mammoth's famous
variety show
with a barrel of laughs, songs, and dancing
by very pretty girls
let me order a round for the house
You think I'm joking?
Two bottles of our coldest beer
for every table, please!
Why am I buying drinks for the house?
Has the heat gone to my head, you ask?
Not at all
Is it my birthday? Wrong again
Have I won the lottery?
No, I have not
Did I make a killing on a vacant lot
I bought with my savings?
No, not that either
This is top secret
but the bank robbery in Munsan today
That was me, Lee Jong-sae
The real reason why I'm buying you a drink
is because I'm finally making
my feature film debut
I couldn't have done it without you
Now, it so happens that my two lead actors
have decided to honor us
with a visit today
Will you please welcome them to the stage!
My, my, I can see why Brooke Shields
decided to retire
Will you feast your eyes on this
beauty's curves...
...under her clothes, I'm afraid.
What are your measurements?
36, 24, 36
Mr. Moon, how do you feel about
your first feature film role?
It's an honor
An honor I have our director,
Mr. Lee Jong-sae, to thank for
I wouldn't be standing here today
without you!
Thank you, thank you
Now, what song are you two
going to sing for us tonight?
Susie Q!
Oh, yeah! Susie Q!
- Hands up!
- Freeze, or I'll shoot!
Mom!Mom!
What's going on here?
Scoot along there
The main actress always gets paid more
Answer the door
Who is it?
It's the cops, say I'm not here, alright?
I didn't do anything wrong
I did what I was told, that's all
I'm not responsible, I'm going home
Shut up, fatty
You'll be shot if you go out now,
do you hear?
Open up at once!
If you don't come out
I'm going to shoot you myself
Come on and open this door
There's nothing to be afraid of,
we've come this far
We don't have any details yet
Go on and answer it
If you don't I'm really going to shoot
Be brave for us, sir
We'll cover you
Smile
Whatever you do, act naturally
I'm officer Kim from the city police
Hello, hello
My respected officer
Please let me thank you
for all your tireless work
protecting the well-being
and property of our families
when it's 2,000 degrees out there
Thank you
May I come in and take a look around?
Excuse me? Oh, of course
You live alone?
Yes
My mother just came up from the country
for a visit
- Did I say my mother? I meant my sister-in-law
- Oh, I see
- What is your profession?
- Yes?
Your profession, sir
The always humble and always available
Comedian...
Moon Do-suk at your service, sir
You must make a mint,
working in show business
You know it's all over the news that
there have been a lot of armed robberies lately
- Banks have been robbed in full daylight
- My goodness
Corner shops, clothing boutiques,
these guys stop at nothing
They even threatened kids for money,
you know
- They've been at it every day
- They wouldn't really threaten kids, would they?
So there's a special directive in effect
now for officers to make rounds
visiting homes to check everything is fine
I see
Is this the bedroom?
That's a painting
Are you alright?
I'm fine
You should never leave cash or valuables
in prominent places
Oh, I wouldn't leave anything there
- What about here?
- Take a look?
- Is it here?
- Still cold
Where is it?
I don't remember
It's here, isn't it?
Where did you put it?
Don't worry
It's somewhere very safe
Where is it!
Where's the stuff?
Where's the rest?
The rest?
Take them off
Maybe I should get married
take up flower arranging, cook dinner
wash my husband's feet for him
when he gets back early
make tea for him
I think I'll have just two kids
One can be a movie star, the other
a singer
Know any eligible bachelors
around here, mister?
I'm not very demanding
I just need someone with two cars
and a house with a pool
You know the first scene of our movie
where the main character is attempting
suicide with gas
but the chair falls over and they fail?
That's life
Life always throws disappointment at you
at the crucial moment
I think that scene will really
crack the audience up
They'll be rolling in the aisles
I bet a million more people come to see it
because of that scene
Sun-young
do you know what my nickname was as a boy?
It was Genius, Boy Genius
I could read comic books when I was
two years old
When the neighborhood kids
were playing milk caps or tag
I was drawing comics
My uncle said that when I grew up
I should paint billboards for movie theaters
I guess billboard painters
made a lot of money in those days
When I was in the 9th grade,
we had a really cold winter
That winter I had a lot of very serious
thoughts on my mind
What is the meaning of life?
How are we supposed to live life,
doing what?
That was when I decided
I would be a film director
I thought that it was
such a glamourous job
From reading Lim Chang's
'Ttaengi and the Film Director'
Sun-young
The day has come
The day the dark, interminable winter
gives way to spring
and countless people come to watch
the film we made
We'll celebrate our wedding
inside the theater
Sun-young, I love you
Sir, you have to try some of these
sticky rice cakes
Real estate boom
Housing prices soar
Comedian Lee Jong-sae revealed
to be leader of armed robbery trio
Comedian Lee Jong-sae revealed
to be leader of armed robbery trio
I knew I shouldn't have sold the barber shop
Police agencies on nationwide
cooperative investigation alert
I knew I shouldn't have sold the barber shop
At this point
we pretend we've been in a car accident
Do-suk, you put some ketchup on
to look like blood
and lie in front of the car
Sun-young, you shout "Help" three times
in a very urgent voice
Everybody got that?
We get up at 8 tomorrow
- Yes, sir
- Hey, fatty
lay off the breakfast in the morning
We don't want you running to the
bathroom again
- Fine
- Let's have a toast
To one billion won
Comedian Lee Jong-sae has been revealed
to be the leader
of a trio that has committed a string of
armed robberies this past month
Police have arrested a
habitual police impersonator
who stole cash and cameras from
Lee Jong-sae's apartment
The goods have been confirmed a match
to those stolen in the robberies
giving the police a fresh lead
in the investigation
Now, in a special segment
we will hear from those
who knew the criminal Lee Jong-sae
personally
Him? Let's see...
what can I say about him...
He had such a funny face
You get a lot of onlookers
when you're making a movie
I thought he was one of them,
so I let him off easy
but then he appeared again
a few days later
with this big guitar case
and he kept tapping it, like this
If I had only known there was a gun
in that case
I would have socked him then and there
I really don't know
He was always such a polite man
So pleasant and well-mannered
You would never think he would do
something like that
He used to come here almost every day
but I never saw him do anything wrong
except for sneaking a read now and then
without paying
All of these answers leave us demanding
who is Lee Jong-sae,
leader of the trio of desperate robbers?
Is he a megalomaniac
suffering from a Cinderella complex
increasingly common in young people
these days?
Or is he a friendly neighbor,
the polite man next door?
Let us now hear from Lee Jong-sae
in his own words
Your twittering skylark, your beloved
buffoon, the always humble
And always available Jong-sae,
comedian Lee Jong-sae at your service, sir
Soon the film will be ready for all
40 million of Korea's people to see
I advise you to ask all the questions
you want now
as it will be very hard to interview me
once the movie is out
Interview my ass, what a nutjob
How could someone who looks like that
do all that stuff?
Now for the weather forecast
The heat continues with highs of
30 degrees Celsius nationwide
and a discomfort index of 80
Be quiet
If you open your mouth, we'll shoot
Smile
Smile naturally
Sun-young
Is my face really that funny?
I never missed a single
reserves training session in my life
I even have a plaque from the
district office saying "Best Barber"
I haven't done anything wrong
Is it a crime to want to become an actor?
Hey, fatty!
How many times do you have to go
to the bathroom?
You must have been ten times at least
Look here, Do-suk
About that comic book shop owner
Did he have to tell about my reading
comics without paying?
Why are you sitting around
like two sad sacks?
Aren't you going to run for it?
Run? Why should I run?
I haven't done anything wrong!
I just did what I was told because
I wanted to be an actor
I was just taking orders, I'm innocent,
why would I run?
You fool
Didn't you hear what they were saying on TV?
You're an accomplice, didn't you hear?
Fine
You can stay here moping around
and go to jail for life or
face the firing squad or whatever
Are you going to go out looking like that?
Get rid of that stupid mustache now
or they'll get us
before we've gone one meter
- Let me do it for you, sir
- Come on
I'd rather die before I shave off my
mustache
Do-suk, come down
Stand over here
Give me "lonely"
Come down
Now, raise your head
Laugh
Really let go, like Jack Nicholson
Like you're almost crying at the same time
Louder
That's it, this is it
The brook laps gently
under the brilliant moon
while the birds have gone quiet
A lone man stands on the bridge,
laughing to ease his broken heart
Then a woman appears
Hey, fatty
Have you gone completely nuts or what?
Sun-young
Scene 28 is going to be very romantic,
very moving
I'm so lucky, this is the perfect spot
What are you yammering about?
The car's broken
We need to get someone to fix the car
I have a terrible sense of direction at night
Fatty, you gotta go
I can't find my way at night, either
You want to stay here and get caught, then?
Huh?
Now, those are some tasty-looking
ramen noodles
I see you're a ramen purist, no egg
You're right, putting eggs and scallions
in just ruins the flavor
Can I help you?
- My car broke down
- Oh, I see
Ramen noodles are best plain
Mister, you look familiar somehow
I'm a film actor
I knew it
You're in 'Bestseller Theater,' right?
Yes
It's an honor to meet you, sir
What are you doing in these parts?
Shooting a movie?
Yes
- We're shooting nearby
- Yes
And the car broke
down in front of the bridge
There must be a lot of
other actors, too, then
Who's the actress?
She's an unknown
Have you seen the news, mister?
With all these armed robberies
I don't take night calls these days
But this is a special case
You're a special guest here
Hey, mister
can I get your autograph?
What movies did your director make?
- He's a new director
- Oh
You know, I always thought that
when you made a movie
You needed people for the lights
and cameras and so on
Where'd they all go?
- Huh? Uh... They went for dinner.
- Oh, OK
Do you think I could become an actor?
Being an actor looks glamourous
from the outside
but it comes with a lot of hard work
Trust me, you're better off doing
what you do now
Yes, sir
You know that barber,
one of the three armed robbers?
Who? Moon Do-suk?
They haven't proved that yet
They found out about him just a while ago
They're saying that this barber fellow
liked actors so much
he went around telling everyone
he was an actor
What a tool, am I right?
Yeah, sounds like one
Try to start it
There you go
- Thank you
- It's fine
It's an honor just meeting you, sir
Goodbye, drive safe
Oh, sir
could I have your autograph, please?
Thank you
Hey
Robbers!
Stop! Stop!
Robbers!
Stop!
Hey!
Stop! Stop!
He's dead
The train is coming in 30 minutes
So I'm finally going to Haeundae
Hey, fatty
how many eggs have you had?
Look at all these shells
You must have eaten twenty of them
Give me a cigarette
Can I get a cigarette?
Huh? Huh...
You've really lost it, haven't you?
You dumb-ass.
Who told you to shoot a man dead?
If they catch you,
it's the death penalty for you now
What are we going to do now
when we get to Busan?
We'll stow away on a boat to Japan
get forged passports and go to Mexico
Then we'll cross the border and go to
Hollywood, the mecca of film
where genius director Lee Jong-sae
will realize all of his dreams
That's it
Look, Do-suk
We're going to Hollywood
We'll be there in three days or so
Boys, be ambitious!
We'll make movies
that amaze the whole world
Jong-sae Lee, world-famous director
World-famous actors Sun-young Oh,
Do-suk Moon
Good luck with that
I'm going to lay low in Haeundae
for a few days and go home
If you get caught, mister
say that your accomplice Oh Sun-young died
She was so overcome by guilt
she hurled herself into the sea, alright?
You got that too, fatty?
Understood?
Huh?
Got it?
Yeah, yeah
Hey fatty, when you become a superstar
don't forget me
Yeah
Where are you going?
Bathroom
Is this the police?
I have a question for you
Oh, it's the fire department? Sorry
Hello, is this the police?
I have a question for you
Do you really get the death penalty
if you kill someone?
I really didn't mean to
but he just went and died
No, I didn't do it
Yes, it was an accomplice
Where am I?
I'm in front of the station
I'm going to Busan
Yes
I can't confess now
I'll call you in three days
We have reached our final destination,
Busan Station
Thank you for using the Saemaul train
Please make sure you have all your
belongings with you
before you get off the train
Whew, it's hot
It's perfect weather for swimming
I wonder if I should stop by Jagalchi
to have some whale meat or not
Look, Do-suk, do you speak English?
English?
When we get to Hollywood, everything
will be in English
When you eat, even when you go to the
bathroom
Hello, give me Kentucky chicken
I love you, I go WC, OK?
Sir, we're really going to America,
aren't we?
In 3 days we'll be eating real Western
food in Beverly Hills
The game's up, it's the cops
What, the cops?
Sir, what do we do now?
Don't lose your cool
We surrender, right?
Give me thirty seconds
Are you mad? Scram!
Lee Jong-sae, you are surrounded
Abandon your weapons and surrender
Surrender now and you will be treated
leniently within the limits of the law
I repeat, surrender
Surrender now and you will be treated
leniently within the limits of the law
Surrender
Resist and we cannot guarantee your life
It is not too late, abandon your weapons
and surrender
We repeat, we repeat,
Hey, Do-suk
Slap me in the face, not too hard
This must be a dream,
that didn't hurt at all
Lee Jong-sae, genius, cannot go down
this way
I can't be eliminated in a third-class
railroad car
without anybody seeing the masterpiece
over which I labored so many sleepless
nights
All geniuses die young,
but I cannot die yet
No, I cannot die
Do-suk, I want you
to break through the siege
I'll cover you from behind
Let's meet at Dock 33 at 10pm
- Good luck
- No, I'm going to surrender
Don't you want to become
a world-famous star?
Lies
I'd rather be a barber
I'm going to give myself up
You know you're going to get killed,
stupid
Do you think they'll let you live
if you give yourself up?
You're a robber and a murderer
No! They said they would let me go
if I turned myself in
It's you who turned us in!
Didn't you, fatty?
Stop calling me fatty!
Lee Jong-sae, this is all your fault,
you creep
Lying about making me an actor
when I was just minding my own business
I got my eyes done because of you,
it really hurt
I sold my shop because of you
I've never missed a single
reserves training session
I even have a plaque from the district
office saying "Best Barber"
I'm going to turn myself in
Moon Do-suk
I can forgive you for turning yourself in
I can forgive you for calling me a creep
However
However I cannot forgive you for betraying
a man's promise
The only thing we can do now is duel
When I say "Go," each of us takes ten steps
and then we turn around and shoot
A duel must have a judge
so Sun-young, you be the judge
Count from one to ten
Alright
Now, go
One
Two
Three
Four
Five
Six
Seven
Eight
Nine
He's crazy
They're all crazy
Stark raving mad
Oh, if only this was a dream
If only this was a dream
Ah... Is everything we see
but a wakingdream
or does it merely appear
like a waking dream?
These flies
There was a story on the world news
a while ago
Some pilot on a light aircraft in Paris
was threatening to fly
into a control tower
When they asked what his reason was
he said it was for personal reasons
I know, right
It takes all sorts to make a world
Produced by Lee Tae-won
Directed by Lee Myung-Se
Written by Lee Myung-Se
and Bae Chang-ho
Ahn Sung-ki
Hwang Cine
Bae Chang-ho
Chon Moo-song
Guest starring Kim Se-jun
and Son Chang-min
Cinematography by You Young-gil
Lighting by Cha Jeong-nam
Music by Kim Soo-chul
Recording by Lee Young-gil
Editing by Kim Hyun
Dresser: Chae Hoon
Hair and Makeup: Cho Kyung-bok
Stills: Yang Ki-ju
Photography: Koo Bon-chang
Props: Kim Tae-uk,
Special effects: Kim Chol-seok
Production design: Do Yong-u
Recording assistants:
Kim Won-yong, Kim Dong-ui
Negative cutting: Kwon Mi-suk
Props assistant: Jang Suk-bum
Special effects assistant: Kim Baek-jin
Lighting assistants: Ham Hyung-suk, Lee Suk-hwan,
Kim Chang-sun, Chon Sang-hyuk
Camera assistants: Kim Myung-su, Kim Sung-bok,
Kim Hyung-gu, Lee Byung-ho
Assistant directors:
Gu Im-seo, Oh Seuk-keun
Continuity: Choi Eun-sil
Production manager: Chon Yung-haeng
Assistant production manager:
No Pyung-cheol
Cho Ju-mi, Ju Ho-sung, Choi Jong-won, Chu Bong,
Cho Chul-nam, Cho Sun-muk, Lee Hae-ryong, Park Bu-yang
Yang Il-min, Jeong Young-guk, Cho Yun-jin, Na Kap-sung,
Park Yong-pal, Kim Kyung-ran, Shin Chan-il, Park Ye-suk
Ahn Jin-su, Yu Min-suk
Mixing: Hanyang Studio
Film Processing: Korean Film Council
Gagman
Produced by Lee Tee-won
Written by Lee Myung-Se
and Bae Chang-ho
Ahn Sung-ki
Hwang Cine
Bae Chang-ho
Chan Moo-song
Guest starring Kim Se-jun
and Son Chang-min
Cho Ju-mi, Ju Ho-sung, Choi Jong-won,
Chu Bong, Cho Chul-nam, Cho Sun-muk
Park Bu-yang, Jeong Young-guk, Cho Yun-jin,
Na Kap-sung, Park Yong-pal, Kim Kyung-ran
Lee Hae-ryong, Shin Chan-il,
Ahn Jin-su, Yu Min-suk
Film Processing: Korean Film Council,
Mixing: Hanyang Studio
Special thanks to
Andre Kim Design Atelier,
Seoul Bank Euljiro 3-ga Branch
Chowon House, the workers of Su-saek Station,
the residents of Imgye-myeon, Gangwon-do
Music credits
"PLEIN SOLEIL" "SUMMER TIME"
"LIME LIGHT" "KID"
Props assistant: Jang Suk-bum,
Special effects assistant: Kim Baek-jin
Recording assistants: Kim Won-yong, Kim Dong-ui,
Negative cutting: Kwon Mi-suk
Lighting assistants: Ham Hyung-suk, Lee Suk-hwan,
Kim Chang-sun, Chon Sang-hyuk
Camera assistants: Kim Myung-su, Kim Sung-bok,
Kim Hyung-gu, Lee Byung-ho
Assistant directors: Gu Im-seo, Oh Seuk-keun,
Continuity: Choi Eun-sil
Props: Kim Tae-uk,
Special effects: Kim Chol-seok
Production design: Do Yong-u,
Stills: Yang Ki-ju
Dresser: Chae Hoon, Hair and Makeup: Cho Kyung-bok,
Photography: Koo Bon-chang
Production manager: Chon Yung-haeng,
Assistant production manager: No Pyung-cheol
Editing: Kim Hyun
Recording: Lee Young-gil
Music: Kim Soo-chul
Lighting: Cha Jeong-nam
Cinematography: You Young-gil
Directed by Lee Myung-Se
Real hot today, isn't it?
Never cared for summer myself
We'd only have spring, fall, and winter
if it were up to me
Say, mister
Are you fond of dog meat?
It's the only thing that keeps my energy
up in summer
It's not fattening, so you can eat as much
as you want
But I can't eat the stuff they serve
at restaurants these days
They get all these poodles and spitzes,
any kind, really
and just feed them water
so the meat's all tough and
there's nothing to eat on them
When it comes to dog meat
nothing beats a good old Korean mutt
I was looking through the weeklies
and I saw that
Lee Ju-il paid over
a hundred million won in taxes
I guess they make big bucks
in the entertainment business
He wasn't born into money either
I guess some people are just touched
by a lucky star
You must have always had
something special, too, mister
Making your way in show business and all
Mind you, I've been going to the movies
since I was in the womb
They say my mother loved them
So maybe that's why
I've always wanted to be an actor
I used to watch movies all the time
You remember Kirk Douglas in
'The Vikings'?
That was a great movie
Remember when the Vikings come back
and have a feast
That scene where Kirk Douglas is eating
a roasted chicken
Mmm, mmm.
He really goes for that chicken
Poor guy
Give him a rose and he would boil it
and eat it like dog meat
Poor guy
That guy at the back, third from the right,
with the glasses
Could be a bank teller
How he can afford to drink here?
Somebody greased his palm for a loan,
probably
Poor guy
Spends his days counting money and
trying to get girls in bed
Poor guy
Number 17 over there, she's laughing
on the outside
But on the inside, all she cares about
is her tips
I see that lady came again tonight
With a younger guy this time
Poor woman
Play her Beethoven and
she would dance the jitterbug
When did dreams give way to bread
When did cash take the place of romance
When did this world turn into a desert
where not a single blade of grass would grow?
What should Lee Jong-sae,
genius of this age
do in such a world?
This has been your twittering skylark,
your lovable buffoon
The always humble and always available
Jong-sae
Comedian Lee Jong-sae
I look forward to seeing you at the
Mammoth again very soon
Good night to you all
Hello Yeah, it's me
What's up? Oh, I'm fine
How's my Michelle?
I'm worried she's getting fat,
she's gained one kilo this past month
She's such a picky eater
She won't touch cheese or milk
I should put her on a diet
Speaking of which, where is she?
Just a sec
Michelle, Michelle?
Michelle!
Sorry, sorry
How's my husband?
He's coming back today
You know he was in the States on a
business trip
No, I'm not the lonely type
He works and I go shopping with my friends
I go to the movies, I enjoy my life
Oh, you switched to golf, too?
I agree.
Aerobics is so tiring and not even fun
I switched to golf, too
What?
You're hitting bogeys already?
Look at you, the pro
Sorry, I have to go now, he's home
Sure, let's play a round sometime
next week
Bye then
Is that you, honey?
It's Lee, ma'am
I'm sorry, ma'am,
but the chief had an accident
on the way home from the airport
He's in surgery now and
we don't have a prognosis yet
Cut!
- Miss You, are you crazy?
- Oh, I'm sorry
I can't stop laughing at his face
What?
You're the director, aren't you?
My compliments, sir
- You have, what, ten scenes left?
- Oh, yes
Can I ask you about the theme
of the movie you're shooting?
Don't you agree that it's rather passé?
We should start filming next month
at the latest, don't you think?
Summer would be best for setting the mood
For the dreamy, haunting, languid quality
I'm going for
And I know it's taking a risk but
I'd like to cast newcomers
I don't see anyone fresh enough
for this film
Sorry, but who are you?
I see you've forgotten my name
It's easy to remember
if you think of skylarks
My name is Jong-sae, Lee Jong-sae
I sent you a script at your office
some time ago
I wrote that script
- Oh, I see.
- You have a break in filming tomorrow, yes?
I need my sleep in the morning so
what do you say about meeting at
three o'clock in the afternoon?
We could meet then to discuss the
filming schedule
Sir, your TV interview is ready to go
OK
Modern women are going through a crisis,
in my opinion
This film takes a serious look at the
sex life of modern couples
as sex becomes commodified in
modern society
Miss You
You're known for being good at love scenes
- Does that come from experience?
- Well, I...
I'm sorry
Sorry about that, let's take this again
Just a minute, I need a fresh tape
You know the Won Cafe', in front of the
Secret Garden
right across from Shinwon Wedding Hall?
I'll see you there at three o'clock
Excuse me
- Look here, Cho
- Yes, sir
Can't you do your job properly? Hmm?
Sorry?
That guy with the mustache
Why are you letting riffraff like that
on set?
I thought you knew him
- Because he was always around you
- No, no!
Do I look like someone who knows
someone like that? Hmm?
In this movie you play a character
who's slightly hysterical, yes?
Let's go to tape here
What is your name, sir?
Your twittering skylark, your beloved
buffoon
The always humble and always available
Jong-sae
- Comedian Lee Jong-sae at your service, sir
- Ah, yes
And you play a comedian in this movie?
Oh, I'm not an actor
I'm a new director
Oh, I see
I have a project coming up with
Mr Jeong's company
Is that so?
Soon the film will be ready for
all 40 million of Korea's people to see
Indeed
I advise you to ask all the questions
you want now
as it will be very hard to interview me
once the movie is out
Hey, you!
This man is nobody, an onlooker
- Excuse me?
- Oh, my
Come over here, I said
What are you gawking at?
Back to work!
- Who are you?
- Excuse me?
The always humble and always available
comedian Lee Jong-sae at your service, sir
Get out
Before I throw you out, OK?
Three o'clock at the Won Café,
in front of the Secret Garden
Please remind the director so
he doesn't forget
I told you to get out of here!
Ladies and Gentlemen
It is my pleasure to address
this distinguished gathering
of those who truly love and understand
cinema
as the medium of dreams and romance
Thank you for being here to share
this moment with me
And, and...
And, and...
I would like to offer my profound thanks
to our staff and cast, who worked tirelessly
to make this film
This award I have been honored with today
is not merely a personal honor for
Lee Jong-sae the individual
but a victory for the great art of film itself
That great medium that shoots through
the darkness of this world and mankind
like an unstoppable midnight express
Oh that's hot!
Mister
Got any new Lee Hyun-se comics?
No, the only new ones we have are
Huh Young-man
Why, sir!
What are you doing
in a place like this, sir?
- Looking for material
- Oh, of course
I saw the movie version of this in
the late-night theater
but the comic was so much better
Hey mister, you finished with these?
I want that one too
when you're finished, OK?
Comics these days are
such a bad influence on children
It's all sports or robot stuff
It was better in our day, sir
Um Hee-ja's 'Glass Castle,'
Kim Jong-re's 'Searching for Mama'
Park Ki-jeong's 'To Go There,'
masterpieces all of them
Then there was science fiction
Sanho's 'Lifi,' 'Tetsujin 28-go'
Park Bu-seong's 'Magic Wand'
They really blew my mind
And Kim Kyung-in's 'Kabuli the Doctor'
or Chu Dong-seong's 'Dr. Jjanggu'
Oh, Chu Dong-seong is what Go U-young
used to go by
- I know
- Of course, sir
Or take Im Chang's 'Ttaingi'
or Park Ki-jun's 'Dutongi'
Great character studies, don't you think?
Moon
- You said you wanted be an actor, right?
- Who, me?
Aw, that was when I was young
I know I'm not cut out to be an actor
If only people really understood comics
they would understand me
- Moon
- Yes?
You're the first person I've met who really
understands me
You'd make a wonderful character actor,
Moon
I've written a script
that I'm supposed to direct soon
I was worried because I couldn't find
an actor to play the lead
I think I've finally found him
Wait for me to contact you
Thank you for giving me this chance
Thank you, I won't let me down
- How many?
- Five
You can't fool me
I saw you sneaking two more
I'll do my best. Thank you
Get a room!
- Come on, let's go
- She must have skipped somewhere else
Creeps
Isn't dancing enough for them?
They buy you a few drinks and think
they can jump all over you
Thanks, mister
Mister
Um... cup of coffee?
You've got a really funny face, mister
I feel like I've seen you before somewhere
Are you in showbiz?
Yes
Did I see you on TV?
Are you on TV, mister?
I'm a director
Are you really a director?
What movies did you direct?
None, yet
You think I could be a movie star or what?
Su-sure
You mind if I come home with you?
Two-faced con artist
You pretend you're doing me a favor
but you're nothing but a wolf
in sheep's clothing
Oh, you'll take me home
and ply me with whiskey
and when I fall into a drunken stupor
you'll put me on the bed
and take off my clothes
I never asked you to come home with me
It was you that asked to c-come
It's getting late, take a cab with this
What do you think?
How was my acting? Mister?
I always wanted to be a singer
But I think from today I'd rather be
an actress
The time?
Oh, it must be 2:30 or so
- You're home late, sir
- Now, where was building 902
It's the building right next to yours, sir
Now if you go this way and take that way
you come right up to... my house
The moment I saw you, I, I...
Words are such empty things
How could I express the fire in my heart
for you
with a few trifling words?
Mister, can I use your toothbrush?
I am your toothbrush
Let me be your toothbrush forever
so I may brush every inch of your body
Oh, tonight I must get drunk
Your face is too dazzling to gaze upon
I could not bear it without liquid courage
Here I go on like some love-struck girl
What's happening to me?
Oh, I feel like my heart is going to stop
Please, have a seat
Is this you, mister?
- What? Do you mind?
- No, not at all
Why did you make this so weak?
I take mine straight
The moment I saw you, my heart went...
It's so hot this year
Where are you going on holiday this year?
- I... you...
- Have you been to Hwajinpo?
I was there last year
The beach isn't bad
but the hotel wasn't up to standard
Have you been to Haeundae, mister?
I haven't been there yet
That's where I'm going on holiday this year
They've got lots of discotheques and
dumb rich guys
I wish I had just one hundred million won
I don't know why I can't win the lottery
I... I feel like getting drunk tonight
Have a drink, then
Where do I sleep?
Here
And a pillow
I really need my beauty sleep or I get
grumpy
so don't wake me up even if
you get up early
The mercury's hitting 2,000 degrees
out there today
so thank you for forsaking your families
on 'Family Day'
to grace the Mammoth with your presence
It is my pleasure to open the Mammoth's
famous variety show
with laughs, songs, and dancing by
very pretty girls
Now, for our first act
Our special singer, Rambo!
Hands up
Hands up
Hands up, I said!
Warning
I repeat, warning
Don't move or make a sound
Or you will be killed instantly
This is an order
A soldier does not give orders twice
Turn on the lights
Turn on the lights!
Turn on the lights!
Mister, do you have a smoke?
No, sorry
I never took up smoking
What sort of work do you do?
The always humble and always available
comedian
Your twittering skylark,
Lee Jong-sae at your service
What are you doing here?
The club is closed today
so I'm rehearsing on my own
Hey, mister
do you know where the bathroom is?
An armed deserter, regiment unknown,
is currently on the run in the direction of
old Chunho-dong crossing
Police and military authorities are
working together in pursuit
Further updates will be available
on the regular news
as soon as the authorities have more
information
This has been breaking news
They should round up ungrateful pigs
like that
Give 'em the firing squad
right in the middle of Gwanghwamun
What's wrong with these jokers?
We feed 'em, clothe 'em, learn 'em skills
All with taxpayers' money
Kids these days
No upbringing whatsoever
Addressing their elders with the familiar
register
And the gals!
All those little gals smoking
and kissing all over the place
soon as they get in a car
I don't know what this world is coming to
Know what I mean? Sir
P-please, let me go
I didn't see anything
I've got a wife and five kids
I would never turn you in
Please let me go
This is all the fare I made today
Please, just spare my life
Don't move, or I'll shoot
Bond, my name is Bond
James Bond
Shanghai Park
For 20 years I've been waiting
for this day
Living on cold boiled barley
in my freezing cell
Whetting my blade, counting the days
to take my revenge
I forgave you for stealing my beloved
Jeong-nim away from me
I forgave you for selling Ok-hee,
my only sister,
to a brothel
However
However
I could never forgive you
for betraying a man's sacred promise
Shanghai Park
Take out your sword
Show me what you're made of
Oh, sir, it's you
I've been waiting for you to contact me
I've been going for a Jack Nicholson look
There's no one like Jack Nicholson
when it comes to character actors
Draw the curtains
Sir
I've sold the barber shop
I got an offer yesterday
so I let it go on the cheap
I've had my eyes done
They were too small, so I got an operation
to make them bigger
I know I shouldn't mention this
but I'm happy to work without a salary
seeing that I'm a newcomer and all
Sir
There's a new bar right next door called
Million Dollar Salon
If you have the time I'd like to invite
you there tonight
as my guest
- Do you know how to shoot a gun?
- Huh? No, not a revolver
I'm so sorry, I wasn't in active service
in the army
Wow
This looks exactly like a real gun
Is it for the movie?
I know how to use this one, it was part of
our training
If you need me to shoot a revolver
I can learn how to do that, too
- What's this?
- Sir, Private Moon Do-suk, it's the buttstock, sir
- This?
- Sir, Private Moon Do-suk, the front sight, sir
- This?
- Sir, Private Moon Do-suk, the pistol grip, sir
- This?
- Sir, Private Moon Do-suk, the trigger, sir
- This?
- Sir, Private Moon Do-suk, the magazine, sir
- This?
- Sir, Private Moon Do-suk, the barrel, sir
Sir
I take it we're making an action movie?
- Yes
- Oh, that's a relief
I was worried it was going to be a drama
I'm more comfortable with action than
drama, you see
- Lock and load
- Yes, sir
Sir, there's this bit I've been practicing
Would you like me to do it for you now?
- Sure, get ready!
- Yes, sir
Sound, lights, camera
Standby, ready, go!
Shanghai Park
Just a sec, sir
Shanghai Park
For 20 years I've been waiting
for this day
Living on cold boiled barley
in my freezing cell
Whetting my blade, counting the days
to take my revenge
I forgave you for stealing my beloved
Jeong-nim away from me
I forgave you for selling Ok-hee,
my only sister,
to a brothel
However I could never forgive you
for betraying a man's sacred promise
Shanghai Park
Take out your gun!
Cut!
Ready!
Scene 20, cut 1, take 2
Let's go
Action!
Look
I hear that when a wife leaves her
husband's house
that husband has no legal responsibility
to her anymore
Anyway, I absolve you of all
responsibility now
You're no longer tied down by me
We are both free now
Cut!
What are you doing here again?
Sir, this is your last chance
You'll regret it for the rest of your life
if you let me slip away
Dammit, stop laughing!
Cho! Where's that Cho?
He went to the bathroom
Sir, everything's ready to go now
I've found some
really good new actors, too
I'm sure you'll like them
when you meet them
- Look here, Cho
- Sir?
What did I tell you about keeping order
on set?
You! You're back?
- Get me a cup of coffee
- You come with me
Where's that coffee?
I could kill you
Do you understand? Huh?
I said cut it out!
Of all the stupid...
Shanghai Park
For 20 years I've been waiting
for this day
Living on cold boiled barley
in my freezing cell
Whetting my blade, counting the days
to take my revenge
I forgave you for stealing my beloved
Jeong-nim away from me
I forgave you for selling Ok-hee,
my only sister,
to a brothel
However
However I could never forgive you
for betraying a man's sacred promise
Shanghai Park!
Take out your gun!
- Hello, this is a pleasant surprise
- Don't talk to me
What a loser, can you believe
the nerve of this guy
He wants me to go on holiday with him
and he doesn't even have a credit card
Who's taking the slow train to Busan
in this heat?
It's so hot in here
I thought you were on TV, mister,
don't you have air conditioning?
Get away from me, what's your problem?
You're a handsy one, aren't you?
- Is your shower broken?
- Yes
I got a call from maintenance saying
the water's off until five
Mister
Can you pass me my bag over there?
Who are you, for real?
I'm a director, this is a prop
Cut it out
P-please don't shoot
It's loaded, it's a real gun
Where did you get a real gun?
It was a gift
You're wanted, aren't you?
What did you do?
Fraud? Robbery-murder? Rape?
I'll shoot if you don't tell me
Wait, I'm not really a director
My name is Lee Jong-sae, the comedian
I'm going for a nap
Wake me up when the water comes back on
Aren't there any adult comics in this?
I wish something exciting would happen
Like a war
Hey, mister
You said this was a real gun, right?
Let's make a movie
I'll play the lead
You just need a hundred million won or so
You can't let your genius rot for that
puny sum, can you?
- Huh?
- Huh
Mister
Why don't we rob a bank?
Like in a Hollywood movie
Good afternoon
Miss
I'm looking for fresh faces
Wanna be a movie star?
So you've got one security guard
and twelve employees
Am I right?
The panic button's under your foot, right?
Isn't that right?
How many minutes for the cops to show up
when you press that?
Just a minute, sir
Now that's some quality air conditioning
Miss
I'm looking for fresh faces
Wanna be a movie star?
- Is something the matter?
- Good afternoon, sir
How many minutes does it take for the cops
to arrive after the bell?
About three minutes is it?
How much cash do you have there?
Who are you?
I'm Moon, the actor
Could you speak up, please
I'm Moon, the actor
How can we help you today?
My director asked me
to make some discreet inquiries
for the movie we're making
So that's what I'm doing
- What kind of film is it?
- It's an action movie
What's it called?
You know what,
let me go ask and come back
Thank you
Sir!
I made the inquiries you asked me to
There's one security guard and
12 employees
And it takes about three minutes
for the police to arrive
after the panic alarm goes off
But I wasn't able to find out
the other stuff
What is our title? It's a gang movie,
isn't it?
Settle down, fellas, you're like bulls
in a china shop
Oh, it's hot
- Sir
- You like dog-meat soup, don't you?
Let me order a bowl for you
One bowl of dog-meat soup, please!
What? Who orders dog-meat soup in a
snack restaurant?
What a joke
Sir, am I supposed to be playing a robb...
Oh, did I drop that?
Sir
Am I playing a bank robber in the movie?
You like steamed dumplings, don't you?
I used to eat fifty in one sitting
Now thirty is all I can manage
Sir
I know it's not my place, so don't
take this to heart
but, when I look at other movies
bank robbers use revolvers, not rifles
Why are there so many flies in this shop?
It's summer, show me a restaurant that
doesn't have flies
- How much do I owe you?
- Two thousand won
Oh, you came all the way here?
The title is still a secret!
Shanghai Park, bang bang!
You, fatty, get out
Do you have any brain cells at all?
Hey
Do you think this is a game? Huh?
You can't talk to me like that, even if
you're the main actress
I'm older than you
Then act your age, dumb-ass
Stuffing your face all the time and
dumb as a sack of rocks
Sir
I can't take this any longer
Hey
What are you going to do, then?
I'm the one who can't take it any longer!
Who told you to bring the police back with
you, dumb-ass?
I didn't know what the title was!
I can't work with fatty over there
He's going to be the ruin of us
Call it off now or let the fatty go,
you decide
Sir, I was just doing what you asked me to
Didn't you ask me to find out things
for the movie?
It's not for the movie, stupid, it's for real
For real
We're going to rob a bank, for real?
You're pulling my leg, sir
Do I look like someone who would pull
your leg?
There are no more masterpieces
in this age in which we live
No 'Gone with the Wind,'
no 'Ben Hur'
No 'Sorrow up in Heaven,'
everything gone with the wind
We live in a whirlwind racing towards
the 21st century
Who will make the pièce de résistance
of this era?
Who has the vision for mankind to follow?
Many are the days that Lee Jong-sae toiled
and tortured himself to solve this riddle
Finally he gave birth to his masterpiece
A stroke of light in this desert of
darkness
And
And
When I met you, Sun-young, a pure lily,
and you, Do-suk, a strong character actor,
When I found my two leads
my heart burst with joy
and I felt certain that
this would be the making of
a masterpiece that every one of the
40 million Koreans could see
However
However, the masses, in thrall to
the gods of consumerism
failed to recognize this work of genius
for what it was
Do you want Lee Jong-sae
to lay his dreams away forever?
N-n-no, sir
Do you want to see Lee Jong-sae defeated
for want of one hundred million won?
Forgive me, sir
Hello, is there something wrong
with your car?
- You're trembling
- N-no sir
It's just s-so h-hot in the car
Stay cool
Don't worry, I'm a man of my word
I'm falling asleep here, get a move on
Are you ready?
Yes, sir
Sir, can I have a minute?
Why?
I need to go for a number two
You can go in ten minutes
Hands up! Freeze, or I'll shoot!
Hands up! Hands up!
This is a real bank robbery!
You over there, don't move!
We know where the panic button is!
- Where's the safe?
- Th-the safe...
Open the safe!
Open it!
We don't have the key
The manager went out and took the key
with him
Don't lie to me!
It's true
He went out to the Buho Café with a guest
Shall I go bring him back?
Yes!
Sir, don't let them trick you!
Wait a minute
Don't move or I'll shoot!
Hey, you
Put your hands up!
Where do you come from?
Seoul
Namdaemun or Dongdaemun?
You ever heard of Ssangcal?
You're speaking to Ssangcal of Seodaemun
Back in the day we used axes or
sushi knives
We didn't fool around with toy guns
like this
You think you're the Mafia or what?
Shut up!
Pipe down, fatty
You want to attract the cops again?
What are you doing? Chop chop!
Freeze, or I'll shoot!
Ladies and gentlemen
This is your host, your twittering skylark
your beloved buffoon
The always humble
and always available Jong-sae
Comedian Lee Jong-sae
The mercury's hitting 2,000 degrees
out there today
so thank you for forsaking your families
on 'Family Day'
to grace the Mammoth with your presence
Before we open the Mammoth's famous
variety show
with a barrel of laughs, songs, and dancing
by very pretty girls
let me order a round for the house
You think I'm joking?
Two bottles of our coldest beer
for every table, please!
Why am I buying drinks for the house?
Has the heat gone to my head, you ask?
Not at all
Is it my birthday? Wrong again
Have I won the lottery?
No, I have not
Did I make a killing on a vacant lot
I bought with my savings?
No, not that either
This is top secret
but the bank robbery in Munsan today
That was me, Lee Jong-sae
The real reason why I'm buying you a drink
is because I'm finally making
my feature film debut
I couldn't have done it without you
Now, it so happens that my two lead actors
have decided to honor us
with a visit today
Will you please welcome them to the stage!
My, my, I can see why Brooke Shields
decided to retire
Will you feast your eyes on this
beauty's curves...
...under her clothes, I'm afraid.
What are your measurements?
36, 24, 36
Mr. Moon, how do you feel about
your first feature film role?
It's an honor
An honor I have our director,
Mr. Lee Jong-sae, to thank for
I wouldn't be standing here today
without you!
Thank you, thank you
Now, what song are you two
going to sing for us tonight?
Susie Q!
Oh, yeah! Susie Q!
- Hands up!
- Freeze, or I'll shoot!
Mom!Mom!
What's going on here?
Scoot along there
The main actress always gets paid more
Answer the door
Who is it?
It's the cops, say I'm not here, alright?
I didn't do anything wrong
I did what I was told, that's all
I'm not responsible, I'm going home
Shut up, fatty
You'll be shot if you go out now,
do you hear?
Open up at once!
If you don't come out
I'm going to shoot you myself
Come on and open this door
There's nothing to be afraid of,
we've come this far
We don't have any details yet
Go on and answer it
If you don't I'm really going to shoot
Be brave for us, sir
We'll cover you
Smile
Whatever you do, act naturally
I'm officer Kim from the city police
Hello, hello
My respected officer
Please let me thank you
for all your tireless work
protecting the well-being
and property of our families
when it's 2,000 degrees out there
Thank you
May I come in and take a look around?
Excuse me? Oh, of course
You live alone?
Yes
My mother just came up from the country
for a visit
- Did I say my mother? I meant my sister-in-law
- Oh, I see
- What is your profession?
- Yes?
Your profession, sir
The always humble and always available
Comedian...
Moon Do-suk at your service, sir
You must make a mint,
working in show business
You know it's all over the news that
there have been a lot of armed robberies lately
- Banks have been robbed in full daylight
- My goodness
Corner shops, clothing boutiques,
these guys stop at nothing
They even threatened kids for money,
you know
- They've been at it every day
- They wouldn't really threaten kids, would they?
So there's a special directive in effect
now for officers to make rounds
visiting homes to check everything is fine
I see
Is this the bedroom?
That's a painting
Are you alright?
I'm fine
You should never leave cash or valuables
in prominent places
Oh, I wouldn't leave anything there
- What about here?
- Take a look?
- Is it here?
- Still cold
Where is it?
I don't remember
It's here, isn't it?
Where did you put it?
Don't worry
It's somewhere very safe
Where is it!
Where's the stuff?
Where's the rest?
The rest?
Take them off
Maybe I should get married
take up flower arranging, cook dinner
wash my husband's feet for him
when he gets back early
make tea for him
I think I'll have just two kids
One can be a movie star, the other
a singer
Know any eligible bachelors
around here, mister?
I'm not very demanding
I just need someone with two cars
and a house with a pool
You know the first scene of our movie
where the main character is attempting
suicide with gas
but the chair falls over and they fail?
That's life
Life always throws disappointment at you
at the crucial moment
I think that scene will really
crack the audience up
They'll be rolling in the aisles
I bet a million more people come to see it
because of that scene
Sun-young
do you know what my nickname was as a boy?
It was Genius, Boy Genius
I could read comic books when I was
two years old
When the neighborhood kids
were playing milk caps or tag
I was drawing comics
My uncle said that when I grew up
I should paint billboards for movie theaters
I guess billboard painters
made a lot of money in those days
When I was in the 9th grade,
we had a really cold winter
That winter I had a lot of very serious
thoughts on my mind
What is the meaning of life?
How are we supposed to live life,
doing what?
That was when I decided
I would be a film director
I thought that it was
such a glamourous job
From reading Lim Chang's
'Ttaengi and the Film Director'
Sun-young
The day has come
The day the dark, interminable winter
gives way to spring
and countless people come to watch
the film we made
We'll celebrate our wedding
inside the theater
Sun-young, I love you
Sir, you have to try some of these
sticky rice cakes
Real estate boom
Housing prices soar
Comedian Lee Jong-sae revealed
to be leader of armed robbery trio
Comedian Lee Jong-sae revealed
to be leader of armed robbery trio
I knew I shouldn't have sold the barber shop
Police agencies on nationwide
cooperative investigation alert
I knew I shouldn't have sold the barber shop
At this point
we pretend we've been in a car accident
Do-suk, you put some ketchup on
to look like blood
and lie in front of the car
Sun-young, you shout "Help" three times
in a very urgent voice
Everybody got that?
We get up at 8 tomorrow
- Yes, sir
- Hey, fatty
lay off the breakfast in the morning
We don't want you running to the
bathroom again
- Fine
- Let's have a toast
To one billion won
Comedian Lee Jong-sae has been revealed
to be the leader
of a trio that has committed a string of
armed robberies this past month
Police have arrested a
habitual police impersonator
who stole cash and cameras from
Lee Jong-sae's apartment
The goods have been confirmed a match
to those stolen in the robberies
giving the police a fresh lead
in the investigation
Now, in a special segment
we will hear from those
who knew the criminal Lee Jong-sae
personally
Him? Let's see...
what can I say about him...
He had such a funny face
You get a lot of onlookers
when you're making a movie
I thought he was one of them,
so I let him off easy
but then he appeared again
a few days later
with this big guitar case
and he kept tapping it, like this
If I had only known there was a gun
in that case
I would have socked him then and there
I really don't know
He was always such a polite man
So pleasant and well-mannered
You would never think he would do
something like that
He used to come here almost every day
but I never saw him do anything wrong
except for sneaking a read now and then
without paying
All of these answers leave us demanding
who is Lee Jong-sae,
leader of the trio of desperate robbers?
Is he a megalomaniac
suffering from a Cinderella complex
increasingly common in young people
these days?
Or is he a friendly neighbor,
the polite man next door?
Let us now hear from Lee Jong-sae
in his own words
Your twittering skylark, your beloved
buffoon, the always humble
And always available Jong-sae,
comedian Lee Jong-sae at your service, sir
Soon the film will be ready for all
40 million of Korea's people to see
I advise you to ask all the questions
you want now
as it will be very hard to interview me
once the movie is out
Interview my ass, what a nutjob
How could someone who looks like that
do all that stuff?
Now for the weather forecast
The heat continues with highs of
30 degrees Celsius nationwide
and a discomfort index of 80
Be quiet
If you open your mouth, we'll shoot
Smile
Smile naturally
Sun-young
Is my face really that funny?
I never missed a single
reserves training session in my life
I even have a plaque from the
district office saying "Best Barber"
I haven't done anything wrong
Is it a crime to want to become an actor?
Hey, fatty!
How many times do you have to go
to the bathroom?
You must have been ten times at least
Look here, Do-suk
About that comic book shop owner
Did he have to tell about my reading
comics without paying?
Why are you sitting around
like two sad sacks?
Aren't you going to run for it?
Run? Why should I run?
I haven't done anything wrong!
I just did what I was told because
I wanted to be an actor
I was just taking orders, I'm innocent,
why would I run?
You fool
Didn't you hear what they were saying on TV?
You're an accomplice, didn't you hear?
Fine
You can stay here moping around
and go to jail for life or
face the firing squad or whatever
Are you going to go out looking like that?
Get rid of that stupid mustache now
or they'll get us
before we've gone one meter
- Let me do it for you, sir
- Come on
I'd rather die before I shave off my
mustache
Do-suk, come down
Stand over here
Give me "lonely"
Come down
Now, raise your head
Laugh
Really let go, like Jack Nicholson
Like you're almost crying at the same time
Louder
That's it, this is it
The brook laps gently
under the brilliant moon
while the birds have gone quiet
A lone man stands on the bridge,
laughing to ease his broken heart
Then a woman appears
Hey, fatty
Have you gone completely nuts or what?
Sun-young
Scene 28 is going to be very romantic,
very moving
I'm so lucky, this is the perfect spot
What are you yammering about?
The car's broken
We need to get someone to fix the car
I have a terrible sense of direction at night
Fatty, you gotta go
I can't find my way at night, either
You want to stay here and get caught, then?
Huh?
Now, those are some tasty-looking
ramen noodles
I see you're a ramen purist, no egg
You're right, putting eggs and scallions
in just ruins the flavor
Can I help you?
- My car broke down
- Oh, I see
Ramen noodles are best plain
Mister, you look familiar somehow
I'm a film actor
I knew it
You're in 'Bestseller Theater,' right?
Yes
It's an honor to meet you, sir
What are you doing in these parts?
Shooting a movie?
Yes
- We're shooting nearby
- Yes
And the car broke
down in front of the bridge
There must be a lot of
other actors, too, then
Who's the actress?
She's an unknown
Have you seen the news, mister?
With all these armed robberies
I don't take night calls these days
But this is a special case
You're a special guest here
Hey, mister
can I get your autograph?
What movies did your director make?
- He's a new director
- Oh
You know, I always thought that
when you made a movie
You needed people for the lights
and cameras and so on
Where'd they all go?
- Huh? Uh... They went for dinner.
- Oh, OK
Do you think I could become an actor?
Being an actor looks glamourous
from the outside
but it comes with a lot of hard work
Trust me, you're better off doing
what you do now
Yes, sir
You know that barber,
one of the three armed robbers?
Who? Moon Do-suk?
They haven't proved that yet
They found out about him just a while ago
They're saying that this barber fellow
liked actors so much
he went around telling everyone
he was an actor
What a tool, am I right?
Yeah, sounds like one
Try to start it
There you go
- Thank you
- It's fine
It's an honor just meeting you, sir
Goodbye, drive safe
Oh, sir
could I have your autograph, please?
Thank you
Hey
Robbers!
Stop! Stop!
Robbers!
Stop!
Hey!
Stop! Stop!
He's dead
The train is coming in 30 minutes
So I'm finally going to Haeundae
Hey, fatty
how many eggs have you had?
Look at all these shells
You must have eaten twenty of them
Give me a cigarette
Can I get a cigarette?
Huh? Huh...
You've really lost it, haven't you?
You dumb-ass.
Who told you to shoot a man dead?
If they catch you,
it's the death penalty for you now
What are we going to do now
when we get to Busan?
We'll stow away on a boat to Japan
get forged passports and go to Mexico
Then we'll cross the border and go to
Hollywood, the mecca of film
where genius director Lee Jong-sae
will realize all of his dreams
That's it
Look, Do-suk
We're going to Hollywood
We'll be there in three days or so
Boys, be ambitious!
We'll make movies
that amaze the whole world
Jong-sae Lee, world-famous director
World-famous actors Sun-young Oh,
Do-suk Moon
Good luck with that
I'm going to lay low in Haeundae
for a few days and go home
If you get caught, mister
say that your accomplice Oh Sun-young died
She was so overcome by guilt
she hurled herself into the sea, alright?
You got that too, fatty?
Understood?
Huh?
Got it?
Yeah, yeah
Hey fatty, when you become a superstar
don't forget me
Yeah
Where are you going?
Bathroom
Is this the police?
I have a question for you
Oh, it's the fire department? Sorry
Hello, is this the police?
I have a question for you
Do you really get the death penalty
if you kill someone?
I really didn't mean to
but he just went and died
No, I didn't do it
Yes, it was an accomplice
Where am I?
I'm in front of the station
I'm going to Busan
Yes
I can't confess now
I'll call you in three days
We have reached our final destination,
Busan Station
Thank you for using the Saemaul train
Please make sure you have all your
belongings with you
before you get off the train
Whew, it's hot
It's perfect weather for swimming
I wonder if I should stop by Jagalchi
to have some whale meat or not
Look, Do-suk, do you speak English?
English?
When we get to Hollywood, everything
will be in English
When you eat, even when you go to the
bathroom
Hello, give me Kentucky chicken
I love you, I go WC, OK?
Sir, we're really going to America,
aren't we?
In 3 days we'll be eating real Western
food in Beverly Hills
The game's up, it's the cops
What, the cops?
Sir, what do we do now?
Don't lose your cool
We surrender, right?
Give me thirty seconds
Are you mad? Scram!
Lee Jong-sae, you are surrounded
Abandon your weapons and surrender
Surrender now and you will be treated
leniently within the limits of the law
I repeat, surrender
Surrender now and you will be treated
leniently within the limits of the law
Surrender
Resist and we cannot guarantee your life
It is not too late, abandon your weapons
and surrender
We repeat, we repeat,
Hey, Do-suk
Slap me in the face, not too hard
This must be a dream,
that didn't hurt at all
Lee Jong-sae, genius, cannot go down
this way
I can't be eliminated in a third-class
railroad car
without anybody seeing the masterpiece
over which I labored so many sleepless
nights
All geniuses die young,
but I cannot die yet
No, I cannot die
Do-suk, I want you
to break through the siege
I'll cover you from behind
Let's meet at Dock 33 at 10pm
- Good luck
- No, I'm going to surrender
Don't you want to become
a world-famous star?
Lies
I'd rather be a barber
I'm going to give myself up
You know you're going to get killed,
stupid
Do you think they'll let you live
if you give yourself up?
You're a robber and a murderer
No! They said they would let me go
if I turned myself in
It's you who turned us in!
Didn't you, fatty?
Stop calling me fatty!
Lee Jong-sae, this is all your fault,
you creep
Lying about making me an actor
when I was just minding my own business
I got my eyes done because of you,
it really hurt
I sold my shop because of you
I've never missed a single
reserves training session
I even have a plaque from the district
office saying "Best Barber"
I'm going to turn myself in
Moon Do-suk
I can forgive you for turning yourself in
I can forgive you for calling me a creep
However
However I cannot forgive you for betraying
a man's promise
The only thing we can do now is duel
When I say "Go," each of us takes ten steps
and then we turn around and shoot
A duel must have a judge
so Sun-young, you be the judge
Count from one to ten
Alright
Now, go
One
Two
Three
Four
Five
Six
Seven
Eight
Nine
He's crazy
They're all crazy
Stark raving mad
Oh, if only this was a dream
If only this was a dream
Ah... Is everything we see
but a wakingdream
or does it merely appear
like a waking dream?
These flies
There was a story on the world news
a while ago
Some pilot on a light aircraft in Paris
was threatening to fly
into a control tower
When they asked what his reason was
he said it was for personal reasons
I know, right
It takes all sorts to make a world
Produced by Lee Tae-won
Directed by Lee Myung-Se
Written by Lee Myung-Se
and Bae Chang-ho
Ahn Sung-ki
Hwang Cine
Bae Chang-ho
Chon Moo-song
Guest starring Kim Se-jun
and Son Chang-min
Cinematography by You Young-gil
Lighting by Cha Jeong-nam
Music by Kim Soo-chul
Recording by Lee Young-gil
Editing by Kim Hyun
Dresser: Chae Hoon
Hair and Makeup: Cho Kyung-bok
Stills: Yang Ki-ju
Photography: Koo Bon-chang
Props: Kim Tae-uk,
Special effects: Kim Chol-seok
Production design: Do Yong-u
Recording assistants:
Kim Won-yong, Kim Dong-ui
Negative cutting: Kwon Mi-suk
Props assistant: Jang Suk-bum
Special effects assistant: Kim Baek-jin
Lighting assistants: Ham Hyung-suk, Lee Suk-hwan,
Kim Chang-sun, Chon Sang-hyuk
Camera assistants: Kim Myung-su, Kim Sung-bok,
Kim Hyung-gu, Lee Byung-ho
Assistant directors:
Gu Im-seo, Oh Seuk-keun
Continuity: Choi Eun-sil
Production manager: Chon Yung-haeng
Assistant production manager:
No Pyung-cheol
Cho Ju-mi, Ju Ho-sung, Choi Jong-won, Chu Bong,
Cho Chul-nam, Cho Sun-muk, Lee Hae-ryong, Park Bu-yang
Yang Il-min, Jeong Young-guk, Cho Yun-jin, Na Kap-sung,
Park Yong-pal, Kim Kyung-ran, Shin Chan-il, Park Ye-suk
Ahn Jin-su, Yu Min-suk
Mixing: Hanyang Studio
Film Processing: Korean Film Council