Fungus the Bogeyman (2004) - full transcript
Fungus (Mak Wilson) is a working class bogeyman who comes to the surface of Rutland to scare DryCleaners. However Fungus soon begins to question his purpose in life when his son Mould rebels against the rules of Bogey's and when he is constantly getting caught by DryCleaners.
(Multicom Jingle)
(footsteps stomping)
(plucky music)
(frog croaking)
- I'm sure I heard someone.
- [Man] Can't wait a minute?
- I'm going to make a drink.
(gate creaking)
(suspenseful music)
(keys jangling)
(tree branches rustling)
(door creaking)
(frog croaking)
(creature chuckling)
Harold!
(creature gasps)
(woman screams)
(glass tinkles)
(intense music)
(slime squelching)
- Ah, not concentrating.
I nearly got caught!
Not good.
Definitely not good.
(plucky music)
Hello, Dad.
- Hello, son.
Fungus?
- Gunge.
Septic.
Grot.
- Lovely damp evening.
- [Fungus] Yes, I suppose it is.
- Heard about young
Grot's exam results then?
- No.
- Oh, pleased as pigs we were.
- Yes.
- [Gunge] Hear your
Mould didn't do so well.
- No?
- Be very disappointed.
- Yes, well, he may not be a genius--
- [Mildew] You come back here, Mould!
- See you later, I'm going out.
- Mould!
I'd better be going in.
- Always said that boy
would come to a bad end.
(all murmur agreement)
(dramatic music)
- Fails his retakes, and that's it.
Never be allowed to go up
top and scare dry cleaners.
What would his grandfather
have said about that?
Or his great grandfather?
Or his great great grandfather?
Fungus.
Can't have a son about
who's forced to collect
cow pats for a living.
- I'll have a word with
him in the morning.
- Strike while the biscuit's
furry, that's what I say.
A flicked ear wouldn't go amiss either.
- Don't need arguments at the moment.
Or giving flicked ears.
Just want a nice, quiet life.
- What's got into you today?
Eh?
- Nearly got caught up top.
(dishes clatter)
- Oh!
(ominous music)
(Fungus sighs)
Come on, darkling.
Everyone has a bad day.
Now and then.
- Yes, well I seem to be having
quite a few bad days at the moment.
And maybe I'm taking too many risks.
- Now you don't become a master bogler
by scaring the same
six people every night,
like Gunge next door.
- Yes, well if anyone finds
out that I've been seen
by a dry cleaner, it'll
be me collecting cow pats
for the rest of my life.
- Now, don't start thinking like that.
We have enough to worry about
with that delinquent son of
ours and his drop in friends.
- Oh, he's only a teenager.
Probably out there having
a bit of harmless fun.
Yeah.
(muffled music)
(people chattering)
- You came, then.
- Yeah, yeah.
It's really loud, man.
- Oh yeah.
So you've got the stuff then?
- Yeah, yeah, it's all in here.
- You sure you're up for this?
- Yeah, really lit up, man.
- Well, well let's roll.
- Roll.
So, Stench?
Where is it we're going?
- Oh I'll tell you that when we get there.
- Right, sure, okay.
- Scab.
- [Scab] Oh, sorry.
- 'Course, as soon as Septic got the news,
she was round here like a shot.
Grot this, Grot that.
What a pity about Mould.
You'd think after all this time,
my sister would stop
showing off, wouldn't you?
Wanting to be fatter and uglier,
wanting to have the wettest
sofa and the dirtiest kitchen?
We have to do something about that boy.
- Yes, I know.
- Where is he?
Honestly.
Look at the time!
- Perhaps we should think
about getting some sleep, eh?
Come on, darkling.
- [Creature] Yeah, but I'm worried.
- [Fungus] Oh, I'm sure
he's going to be all right.
Even with his drop in friends.
- [Creature] You say that, Fungus,
but you should really
be more firm with him.
(slime squelching)
(suspenseful music)
(girl roaring)
- Go away!
- And they're gonna come
in the middle of the night,
and they're gonna eat you!
- Dad, Jessica's scaring me!
- Jessica, just calm down.
- All right, it's bedtime both of you.
- But I don't go to bed for another hour.
- Well, start acting like a 13 year old,
you can have a 13 year old's bedtime.
- Oh come on!
- Stop it.
George, let's get that washing up.
- 30,000 spuds in a road.
It's not exactly the first
manned flight to Mars, is it?
- Thought it was a very
well written article.
- No, yeah of course.
While I'm standing in the drizzle
on the dual carriageway for two hours,
Tony's sipping champagne
and eating smoked salmon
and nibbles with the mayor.
- Right, that should stop them.
- How am I ever gonna get
employed on a real newspaper
if all I ever write about
is prize winning cucumbers
at the village fair and Mrs. Bogdowner
having her lawnmower stolen?
It doesn't look great on a CV, does it?
- Well, at least you don't
work at a supermarket checkout.
- Ooh, there's days
where I dream of working
on a supermarket checkout.
- Oh, George.
Come on, if you got a
job on a real newspaper,
in the middle of a city?
Gosh, we'd be surrounded by
smog, and fumes, and filth.
And we'd dream about
coming back to this place.
- Yes, I suppose you're right.
- Come on.
(suspenseful music)
(slime squelching)
- Morning, Dad.
- Morning, Mucus.
- Have you got to tell Mould off?
- Well, actually I'm a bit late--
- What time did you manage
to roll in last night, then?
Your father's not pleased.
I can tell you that from
the food you're wearing.
Must've been bad.
If you were doing well at school,
but look at ya.
Hardly a speck anywhere.
- Yeah, well maybe I don't
like being dirty all the time!
(Mildew sniffs)
- You've been using deodorant, haven't ya?
- No!
- Don't you lie to me, young bogey.
Fungus.
- What?
- You talk to him!
- [Fungus] Ugh, I'll go and talk to him.
- [Mucus] Do you think that'll work?
- Not holding my breath.
(plucky music)
(Mould sighs)
- Have to stop this.
- Stop what?
- Staying out all night,
listening to loud music, washing!
You have to be a good
bogey, nice and dirty.
- But if I--
- And quiet.
- But it's boring!
- Boring's good.
And you have to do better at school, too.
You want to go up top, don't you?
You want to grow up to be
a proper bogeyman like me?
(Fungus growls)
- Like you?
- Yes, well.
We'll talk about this later, eh?
I've got to go work now.
Try and be nice to your mother, eh?
(plucky music)
- [Mildew] Told him then?
- Yeah, it's probably just a phase.
- I sincerely hope so.
- Bye, my love.
(both slurping)
- Stay moist!
- I will!
(pleasant music)
(slime burbling)
- [George] Hey, your
sister's just winding you up.
Bogeymen don't exist.
- But--
- Ah, uh, trust me on this.
I'm a journalist.
If there was something out there,
I'd know about it long
before you did, okay?
- Even if it was an invisible
monster, and it was hiding?
- Even if it was an invisible
monster, and it was hiding.
Now come on.
Sweet dreams, captain.
(eerie music)
(mobile squeaking)
(slime squelching)
(intense music)
- [Gunge] Fungus!
- Gunge?
(both chuckling)
- Fancy a bit of good old fashioned
four-handed bogling then?
- Maybe some other time, eh?
- Oh.
Suit yourself.
- Good scaring!
- Yeah!
Don't let the dry cleaners bite!
- I'll try not to!
(suspenseful music)
- Yeah well, only swats do well in school,
and anyway, I don't like
people telling me what to do.
Not Mom, not Dad, not the teachers,
and especially not you.
Hi Stench.
- How's it hanging, bogeyboy?
- Really shiny, man.
- Hey, nice work last night.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
(both spit)
- I can't wait to see
the look on their faces.
- No, I mean yeah, right.
Sorry, sorry.
- Keep washing.
- Keep washing.
- Scab, this way.
- See you later, bogeyboys.
- What were you doing last night?
- None of your business.
- Oh well, I guess I'll
find out soon enough.
Seeing as you're always getting caught.
(plucky music)
(Fungus groans)
(Fungus sighs)
- You really shouldn't, Fungus.
(Fungus clattering)
I mean, why do we do this?
Blowed if I know.
You go woo, they scream,
same thing every night for 40 years.
Get old, do the garden, retire.
Die.
- [Bogey] Hello, stupid.
- Don't say anything.
- Yeah, well being stupid's
better than being a mummy's boy.
Anyway, I'm not stupid.
- You just said you're stupid.
- No I didn't.
- You're gonna come to a bad end, you are.
- Am not!
- Maybe when you're older,
you can get an award
for advancing the noble art
of washing your armpits.
- Maybe I can get an award for this!
(bogey laughing)
- You couldn't scare
little dry cleaner lady
if she was in the middle of the forest
on a foggy night, all by herself.
Stupid bogey.
- But it would be a mistake
to think that dry cleaners
are just stupid creatures,
who spend their time
running around shouting
and listening to loud music,
and buying new clothes, and pouring
poisonous chemicals into their toilets.
The dry cleaner is the most dangerous
and violent animal a bogey
will ever come across.
They are always waging war on one another,
or reading about these
wars in their newspapers.
They are always watching films
about people being killed,
or reading books about
people being killed.
Dry cleaner children even play games
and play pretend to kill one another.
A dry cleaner will think
nothing of crushing a spider.
And that is why they must never, ever
find out about our existence.
That is why they must
never ever catch a bogey.
(chair clatters)
What is going on back there?
- Nothing.
- Just Mould again.
- [Teacher] Oh, I might've guessed.
(bogeys whispering)
- What'd he do?
- Look at the bust.
He cleaned it!
- Did you do it?
- Yeah!
(kids whispering)
- And the light's lit.
- In the night.
- [Bogey] Oh you can still smell the soap.
- [Bogey] But don't tell the teacher.
- [Bogey] But how did he get up there?
(kids whispering)
- I heard it was you
and your mate, Stench.
- Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't.
- I don't believe it.
I don't think you're brave
enough to do a thing like that.
- Am!
- Mould.
- Stay out of this.
- I don't think you'd dare
do that kind of thing.
- Yes I would.
- All mouth, no trousers, that's you.
- Oi, that's my mate Mould
you're talking about there.
- He wouldn't know where to get a sponge.
- You're way out of line there, bogey boy.
- What's this, then?
(kids gasping)
And this?
(kids chattering)
- Here we go again.
- Out of here.
- Headmaster's office.
- But it wasn't even me!
- Now!
(kids laughing)
(slime burbling)
(ominous music)
(keys jangling)
(door creaking)
- Ooh, oh, cleaning stuff.
Least if I was collecting cow pats
I wouldn't have to come up here
every night, risking my neck.
(trap snaps)
Ow, ooh.
(trap clattering)
(apples clattering)
(ominous music)
(dog barking)
(dishes rattle)
(Fungus snorts)
(dishes rattle)
(toilet flushing)
(water running)
(suspenseful music)
- Who's in there?
(Fungus grunting)
(door rattling)
Come on, come out of there!
Open the door!
(Fungus gasping)
(intense music)
(door creaks)
- [George] What was that noise?
(Jane groans)
- It's five o'clock, George.
(things clattering)
(ominous music)
- W-w-w-what are you?
(tool clatters)
(Fungus grunting)
Wait!
- Jessica?
Jessica?
(Jane yawns)
Jessica!
(Jane groaning)
- Those mice!
- What, oh.
(plucky music)
(rooster crows)
(Fungus panting)
- Oh!
Oh I nearly got caught again.
I'm not very good at this anymore.
(suspenseful music)
Not very good, at all.
(crickets chirping)
- You think I enjoy being hauled in
to talk to your headmaster?
You think I enjoy being told
I can't control me own son?
That man is waiting for
an excuse to expel you.
One more foot out of line,
and you'll never be allowed to go up top.
- Jess, love, honestly, where did you go?
I mean, on a night like
this, in your pajamas?
And you've got mud, she's got
mud on her slippers, George.
- There was this thing in the cupboard.
A creature.
A man, really ugly and covered in slime.
- Was it a bogeyman?
- What?
No, 'course it wasn't a bogeyman, eh?
- He had this huge, dirty bag,
and I opened the cupboard and he just--
- I don't wanna be eaten by a bogeyman!
- Look, there is no bogeyman, okay?
Now, will you please stop this?
Enough is enough, it isn't funny,
and say sorry to Tom.
- I'm telling the truth.
- I'll have words with you later.
Now, let's get you to
bed, little soldier okay?
It's only your silly sister
trying to wind you up.
(dishes clatter)
- It's all right, it's
just the dishwasher.
(eerie music)
- [Fungus] What's been
going on here, then?
- Suspended from school.
Vandalized the bust of the school founder.
Headmaster's given him a final warning,
but it just goes in one
ear and out the other.
Why don't you try and knock some sense
into that thick, green head of his.
- Oh, listen to your mother.
- Is that it?
- [Mould] I'm going to my room.
- Mould!
(Fungus sniffing)
Well maybe this will make
you take some interest
in your son's upbringing.
Found these under his
mattress this morning.
(Fungus gasps)
- Oh, this is my fault.
- Don't be ridiculous.
- Well, I'm hardly setting
a good example, am I?
It's not surprising he doesn't want to
grow up to be like me.
- What's got into you this week?
- Maybe I should just pack it all in,
and have done with it.
- Don't talk nonsense.
- I got seen again.
Trapped in a cupboard,
just escaped by the scum of my teeth.
- Oh, darkling.
- I just,
I just don't know why
I'm doing it anymore.
(slime burbling)
(birds chirping)
(eerie music)
- [George] The beast of Rutland?
(people chattering)
(phone ringing)
- George!
You in?
- Yes, I work here.
- What are you up to?
- Oh, nothing.
- The beast of Rutland?
- Yes.
- The most exciting story in
the history of the Herald.
No wonder people start
imagining things around here.
- Yeah, yeah.
- 10 to one that's the dodgy face
of Mrs. Marjorie's wolfhound.
- [George] Yes, you're probably right.
- No time for this girls
school gossip chit chat.
- Now that is a lovely tie.
- Marge bought it for me.
- I've always said she
was a woman of taste.
- Perhaps a matter for debate,
but I need somebody to
interview 25 lovely ladies
who are taking part in the finals
of the Miss Rutland
competition this weekend.
Think you can handle it?
- Oh that's my type of job.
- George, there's been an over
spill at Cathry sewage plant.
I want pictures of flooded kitchens
before they bring in the suction trucks.
- Thank you.
(dramatic music)
- Have to do something about Mould.
Have to think of some way
that's going to make him realize
what it's like to be a...
Mould.
Mould.
Come on.
- [Mould] What?
- Time to get up.
- But I don't have to go to school today.
- So we're going on a trip instead.
Up top.
- Up top?
- Sh, sh, sh, so we have
to get an early start.
We've got a long ride ahead of us.
- But I'm not allowed to go up top.
- Shh, come on.
- Yes, but I thought you
weren't talking to Katie.
Since she lost your suede boots
at that dreadful party.
- I wasn't, but I'd rather
spend the night with someone
who lost my suede boots,
than with someone who told my form teacher
that I was actually insane.
- Jessica, I didn't tell
Mrs. Henson you're insane.
I just asked if everything
was all right at school.
That's all.
- And said that I'd been making up stories
about strange animals in the cupboard.
Thanks a bundle, mom.
- Yeah, sorry.
Look Jess, why don't we sit down
and have a proper adult
chat about this, eh?
- Sure, how about Wednesday?
I think I'm free.
That is, of course, if
the men in white coats
don't come and drag me away by then.
- Jess.
- [Jessica] I'll see you later.
- Now, you've got a nice, thick coat,
and a good, damp scarf
to keep the moisture in.
(Mould slurps)
- What are you two up to?
- I'm taking Mould up top.
- What?
- Going to see if he
really thinks it's fun.
Bright lights and flushing lavatories.
At least he'll then know
what he's talking about.
- He's too young to go up top.
It's not safe, it's not legal.
- We've tried talking.
We have to try something else.
- Please.
- You want him to grow
up to be a proper bogey?
Well, I'll show him what it
means to be a proper bogey.
- He could get moonstroke,
he could dry up.
- I won't take any risks.
I'll keep him close by me,
just show him the sights,
and then we'll come back down again.
- If anything happens to this boy--
- [Fungus] Nothing is going to happen.
- If you're not back in eight hours--
- [Fungus] We'd better get going.
- [Mildew] Be careful!
- Bye-bye, Mom.
- [Mildew] Bye my love.
Do everything your father tells you!
- I will.
- [Mildew] Mould.
- [Jessica] Bye!
- [George] Hi, Jessica.
Where are you going?
- Camping with Katie.
- What, at this time of year?
- Yes.
- [George] About that
thing you saw in the--
- The thing I saw?
I thought it was a
figment of my imagination.
- I'm sorry, Jessica.
We weren't very--
- Dad, I've got to go.
- Right.
- [Jessica] Bye!
- Well, Mildew, there's an end
to that nice, cool, clammy spell.
Ooh, where's Mould then?
- He's been suspended.
- Oh, that is a shame.
- But school was rather
wasted on him, wasn't it?
You know, with him being
so fantastically stupid.
Bye-bye, Mom.
- Bye-bye, love.
- Bye-bye Auntie Septic.
- That girl needs a good talking to.
(suspenseful music)
(phone beeping)
(phone ringing)
- Hello?
- Katie, hi it's me.
- Jess, hi, I'm really
sorry about the boots.
I know I shouldn't have.
- It doesn't matter about the boots.
- Really?
- [Jessica] But you owe me, right?
- [Katie] Well yeah, I guess so.
- Good, well if Mom and Dad call,
I'm staying at your place, right?
- Why?
- It's complicated.
(intense music)
(Fungus sniffing)
- I'm up top.
I'm actually up top.
- No, this is just the inside of the barn.
Come on.
(suspenseful music)
(cocoa trickling)
(crow cawing)
- There's no roof.
- Nope.
- Oh, I feel sick.
- Don't worry, you'll get used to it.
- Dad, I really don't think
this is a very good idea.
- Come on, we've got some bogling to do.
(Mould shuddering)
(crickets chirping)
(plucky music)
Come on.
Right, go on.
- What?
What if they come out with
flannels, and knives, and things?
- Then we melt into the
darkness like I told you.
Go on.
- Right.
Okay.
(stick tapping)
Okay?
- Harder.
(stick tapping)
- What was that?
- Oh!
(Fungus chuckling)
- [Man] What was what?
- [Fungus] Come on, Mould eh?
(slime burbling)
- Still, he didn't like
to go to school did he?
So what's he up to then?
Staying at home and doin' his hair?
- I really wish I could tell you.
- Really?
Is that so?
- But I can't, because it's a secret.
- Isn't that a pity?
- Because I think if you
knew where Mould was,
you might just die of jealousy.
- Dad, if I promise to
work really hard at school
and promise not to do anything stupid
that Stench tells me to do,
can we just, oh Dad can we please
just go back down the bogey hole?
- Quick, hide!
Stay there, don't move.
This could be dangerous.
(truck rumbling)
(intense music)
(Fungus screaming)
(tires squealing)
- Wow.
- Come on.
(people snoring)
- Dad!
- What?
- Can I do one?
- All right.
(suspenseful music)
- Honey, you're stealing the duvet again.
(people snoring)
(door creaking)
- That's an airplane, isn't it Dad?
- Mhmm.
There you go, son.
- Thanks.
I think it's great.
You know, up top.
- Well, I wouldn't go that far.
I've had some nasty scrapes up here.
- I mean, everyone says how scary it is,
and how dangerous it is.
But once you've been up here,
and once you've seen it for yourself,
I really think it's a lot of fun.
- Yes, well maybe fun
isn't quite the right word.
- And as for dry cleaners,
you think they're gonna be
some kind of wild beast,
and try tearing you from limb, but--
- Mould.
- What?
- Nothing.
(bell tolling)
It's been really good having you up here.
It's been really good just doing things
together again for a change.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, better finish up and
get some more bogling done.
(Jessica shivering)
(suspenseful music)
Watch carefully.
- How'd you do that?
- Bit of practice, soon have you doin' it.
See a rosy fingered dawn come
up over the snuff dark field.
We'd better get back down
before we get any sun on us.
Oh, look.
- What?
- A dry cleaner's been here.
(Fungus sniffing)
Not very long ago, either.
Ooh, still warm.
One last pice of bogling before we leave.
Slug?
(suspenseful music)
Right, go on.
- [Mould] Dad, so what happens
if you can't get back in time?
- [Fungus] You've gotta find
somewhere dark and damp.
- [Mould] Like a shed?
- [Fungus] Or a swamp,
or a big compost heap.
Make so you don't get burned
up in the sunlight and dry out.
And then you gotta keep
your fingers crossed
and wait 'til night comes.
- You know what, Dad?
- What?
(intense music)
(Mould roaring)
Quickly!
Mould?
Mould!
Mould?
Mould!
Mould!
Mould!
Mould!
(intense music)
- Wait!
Hey!
(Fungus panting)
- Stay calm.
Must stay calm.
Oh it's getting too light now.
I can't keep looking.
Have to hide, ah!
(train rattling)
What to do?
I can't think!
(bell tolling)
(birds chirping)
(rooster crows)
I told him what to do.
Find somewhere dark and damp,
and stay out of the sunlight.
He'll be fine.
Mildew is going to be livid.
(door creaks)
(Mould whimpering)
(door creaks)
(pots clattering)
(Mould screams)
(intense music)
- What on earth?
- [Mould] Don't want to be locked up!
Don't want to be hosed down.
- You can talk?
- [Mould] Light is not
fun, surprises are bad!
- Just stay there, I'll be right back.
Camera.
(suspenseful music)
(rooster crows)
- Pupils from St.
Ethelrods impressed judges
with their music teacher's arrangement
of Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody."
On the recorder, for god's sakes.
(shed thumping)
(plucky music)
(door creaks)
(intense music)
(Mould screams)
(George screams)
(Mould screams)
(George screams)
(intense music)
(bushes rustling)
(camera clicks)
- [Jessica] Ow, hey.
No stop, hey!
Come back!
(Fungus yelling)
Stop!
- Let go!
(wood crashing)
(both yelling)
- Wait!
Relax, stop!
- I have to get out of here, fast!
(Mould panting)
(slime burbling)
- It was the most extraordinary thing.
It was about so high.
I just opened the shed door,
and it was the same as
Jessica saw in the cupboard,
I mean from what she said.
I think this one was quite a lot smaller,
and had these little green
hands with six fingers!
- Listen George, is this
some kind of practical joke
that you and Jessica
have cooked up together?
- No, no, no, this is real!
- [Tom] What's real?
- Nothing, just a little joke
between your mother and I.
- Get dressed, George.
- Yes, I think I will.
(door creaks)
- [Fungus] Pleasant slave am I.
Pictured livid in black slime.
- Dad?
- What?
- [Mucus] Sit down.
- Dad?
- Mould!
- Oh, great bogey be praised.
- We were worried sick!
- So you found your way down, then.
I knew you would.
That's my bogey boy,
- So what happened?
- Mom, Dad?
- [Both] What?
- Look, there's something,
something I have to tell you.
(plucky music)
(Fungus panting)
- Oh no!
We're all going to end up in prison
for letting a dry cleaner into Bogeydom.
- Shh, Dad, quiet!
- Unless it escapes, of course.
And tells the other dry cleaners about us,
and then they call come down here
with their diggers, and
their guns, and their bleach.
Oh no, the whole of Bogeydom destroyed
and all because of me!
- Fungus!
- What?
- It's night.
Most people are asleep.
- Ah, yes.
- Hopefully we can find it
before anyone else does.
Now Mould, Mucus, you go that way.
- Right.
- Yes.
You go that way.
- I'll go this way.
- Right, you go that way,
and um,
I'll go this way.
(pleasant music)
(kids panting)
- How could you be so stupid?
- I'm not stupid.
It grabbed my arm!
Got pulled into the bogey hole.
I could've been captured!
I could've ended up in a laboratory.
- Yeah, and now we're all going
to end up in a laboratory.
Great!
(phone ringing)
- Hello?
- [George] Katie, Katie, hello.
It's George, Jessica's father.
Is Jessica there, please?
- No, well she is, but she's not able
to come to the phone right now.
- Right, well could you tell
her that we'd love to see her,
you know, anytime that
she wants, whenever,
and I'm sorry we had an argument.
- [Katie] Yeah, I'll tell her.
- Obviously if she wants to stay on there,
then that's fine, as long as your mother
doesn't mind having her tent
in the middle of her
lawn for another night.
- Oh I'm sure she won't mind.
- And there's one other thing.
- [Katie] Yeah?
- Can you tell Jessica that I saw it.
- Saw what?
- [George] Just it,
she'll know what I mean.
- Okay, I'll tell her.
- Okay, well thanks very
much, Katie, bye-bye.
Sounds like Jessica's gonna be
staying with Katie for a bit.
- I really put my foot in it
with Mrs. Henderson, didn't it?
- I'm glad she's not coming home.
- That's not nice, Tom.
- Under the circumstances,
I think we all are.
(eerie music)
- Kids.
- Ah!
(eerie music)
- This way!
- [Mildew] Hey!
- [Mould] Mucus!
- [Mucus] There she is.
(intense music)
- Mucus!
- Mould!
- Come on!
(Jessica gasps)
(intense music)
Go on, grab her!
(Mould grunting)
She smells of toothpaste!
- And soap.
- I don't care what she smells of.
- Oh thank goblin.
You found her.
- Yes, we found her.
Where have you, quick!
She mustn't escape!
(plucky music)
- [Fungus] She can't go any further.
Now we've got her.
Careful, Mould.
(stone cracking)
(mud squelching)
- [Jessica] What is this stuff?
Yuck, get me out of here!
- Don't let her shout, someone will hear!
- Maybe we could just leave her in there.
- [Jessica] Help me!
- Say it wasn't anything to do with us.
Then, no one would know we let
a dry cleaner into Bogeydom.
- We let a dry cleaner into Bogeydom?
You mean you let a dry
cleaner into Bogeydom!
- Help me, please help me!
- Shh, look we're gonna
have to get her out.
She might drown!
- I'm sinking!
- Shh!
Look, it's not good to let things drown,
even a dry cleaner.
- Then what?
Can't take her home, can we?
- Do as you would be done by, as they say.
(cop clears throat)
- What's going on here, then?
- Nothing!
- There.
Over there.
Someone fell in and can't swim.
- Well, why aren't any of
you in there helping them?
- We can't swim either.
- That's right.
- Oh, really, right.
Stand back, everything's under control.
- Over here.
I think they fell in just down there.
- Down here?
- Yes, right there.
Go on, go on!
- Yes, go go.
Oh hurry.
He'll soon realize
there's no one over there.
- Hurry, hurry!
Grab the end!
I'll pull you out!
- Just over there.
- Right.
- [Mould] Come on, come
on, come on, come on!
- [Fungus] Just a bit further.
- [Cop] Are you sure you
saw this bogey in here?
- Oh yes, they went ah, pbth, and fell.
- Right.
- [Fungus] Oh bubbles!
Just saw bubbles behind you.
- [Mildew] Fungus, she's out.
- [Mould] Come on, you're coming with us.
- [Cop] Hey, what's going on over there?
- Oh, oh, they've just
got them out, over here.
- Over there?
Well, who's gonna give me a hand out?
- [Fungus] Thank you!
- Excuse me!
- [Jessica] Oh, ugh.
This is disgusting!
- [Mould] What are we gonna do now?
- We'll have to keep her here.
We mustn't let her escape.
- [Jessica] Wait a minute!
- We can't let anyone
know that she's here.
- You can't keep me in here.
- We have to keep you here.
You get out, you'll tell
all the other dry cleaners about us,
and they'll come down and carry us all out
'cause dry cleaners
are dangerous, devious,
and frightening creatures.
- [Fungus] Yes.
- Frightening, me?
You wait 'til my dad hears about this.
- What?
- And the police.
- Police?
- And...
(mud squishing)
Ugh.
How can you live like this?
- I think she's sad.
- Sad would be an understatement.
- Dry cleaners don't get sad.
Too busy shouting and
talking all the time.
Haven't got any space left
in their brains for feelings.
- I don't believe this!
- No, no.
- I really don't.
- Because you make a lot of noise.
- [Jessica] And I'm hungry,
and I'm covered in something
but I don't know what.
- Fungus!
- [Jessica] And you're surprised
that I'm making a lot of noise?
- We're done for, aren't we?
We can't keep her here,
and we can't let her go.
Oh!
- I need a bath.
- And clean water?
- Yes, with soap.
And I need something to eat.
- Oh, we've got some rotten shaddock.
- Rotten what?
- We only eat food if it's
moldy, or if it smells.
- [Mildew] That's right.
- I'm getting out of here.
- [Fungus] What?
What do, what?
(Jessica banging)
- Help!
- Please, please, please, don't, please!
- [Mildew] Be careful!
- Touch me and I'll--
- Please don't shout or else
you'll get us all into trouble.
- Right, that's enough.
Mucus, go and get her
some water to wash in,
and use the sieve to get the lumps out.
Mould, you make this
room a bit less dirty,
seeing as how you're the big fan
of serviettes and underarm deodorant.
And seeing as how you got us
into this mess in the first place.
- It was Dad who took me up top.
- [Mildew] That's why
he's going back up top
to get her some clothes,
and food, and soap.
Maybe that way we can stop
her shouting quite so much.
- I'm not running an errand
for some stupid dry cleaner.
- No?
- I don't wanna fill our
house with the smell of gel,
and chocolate cake.
- Right, then you look after her,
and stop her making a racket.
I'll go find a nice hole to lie in
until you've sorted everything out.
- But, but darkling!
(TV blaring)
- [Narrator] The monkey's
natural habitat--
- Dad!
- Shh.
Hello, love.
- Jessica's still at Katie's, then?
Has she called?
- No, she hasn't.
- Well, if she stays away
long she must have called out.
Have you eaten that entire bag?
- Now, you make sure the dry cleaner
stays exactly where she is.
- All right, okay.
- Don't let her polish anything,
don't talk to her, don't let anyone
see her through the windows.
Oh, and most important,
don't answer the door
to anyone, especially Septic.
- I'm not stupid!
- I'm not even answering that.
Oh, and remember, lock the door
after we've gone.
- Oh, and remember, lock
the door after we've gone.
- [Mildew] I heard that!
(Mould sighs)
(Mould slurping)
(doors rattling)
- You have to help me get out of here.
- Can't!
- Well at least you're talking to me now.
- No I'm not.
- [Jessica] Why won't you let me go?
- Because you'll tell everyone about us.
- Okay, I promise not to tell anyone.
- Can't trust you.
- [Jessica] Why not?
- Because you're a dry cleaner.
- A dry cleaner?
- You can't trust dry cleaners.
Because they turn forests
into business parks,
and kill everyone with
selfish to missiles.
- If you don't let me go,
I'll smash the window.
- I'm coming!
Stay there.
(Mould panting)
- Well if you won't let me go,
at least can you tell me where I am?
- You're in Bogeydom.
- And this is like,
underneath our village?
- It's under everything.
- What, the whole of Rutland?
- Look.
And Canada, and Venezuela,
and England, and Belgium, and India.
- Wow!
- And we're here.
- [Jessica] Amazing.
- Except, there are no
bogey holes in India,
'cause it's too hot for bogeys.
- Bogey holes?
- But I'm not meant to
be telling you all this.
- You even have like newspapers?
- And shops, and
bicycles, and festeraunts,
and smellevision.
- Smellevision?
Oh, oh turn it off!
(Mould sniffs)
- Sweet smell of cow pies.
- Ugh.
It's like a whole world underground.
- A whole boring world
underground, big deal!
- But it is!
- You would think that,
because you're stupid
and you're a dry cleaner,
and you don't know about it.
- You're horrible.
You know that, don't you?
- Really?
I'm horrible?
- Yes, I think we can say
that with some certainty.
- Thanks.
- It's not meant to be a compliment.
- I'm horrible!
I scared a dry cleaner!
I'm horrible!
(Mould roars)
- I'm not scared, I just don't like you.
That is an entirely different thing.
- Is it?
(Jessica sighs)
- I'm so tired.
(plucky music)
(gentle music)
- Look at him.
Do you remember when you
used to sleep like that?
- I still do.
- No you don't, snore
like a rhinoceros now.
- Well.
- There.
- What?
- Jessica?
- She's at Katie's.
(suspenseful music)
- [Fungus] Hasn't even started to rot.
Oh geez, yuck.
- Well, I definitely heard something.
- [George] Well maybe there's a burglar.
- [Jane] Don't be silly, George.
- Oh dear, hard to tell if this room's
been ransacked by burglars or not.
(Fungus thuds)
(mustard spurting)
- It's downstairs.
- It's in the kitchen.
- Yeah, right, well you first.
- Well, maybe we should call the police.
- Oh great, and you want a
job in the big city, do you?
Investigating murders, bank
robberies, and factory fires.
Back me up, George.
- Are you sure you should?
(suspenseful music)
(Fungus slurping)
No one here.
- Honestly.
All this talk of bogeyman
starts to sound a bit doo lolly.
Off to bed, George.
- Yeah, I'll be up in a bit.
- [Jane] It was probably the mice.
Check the traps, George!
(plucky music)
(door creaks)
(eerie music)
(camera clicks)
(Mildew sighs)
- Thank creatures for that.
She's still here.
- Yeah.
(bogey humming)
- [Mildew] And what are you doing?
- I was just,
just making sure she
didn't escape or anything.
- [Mildew] Well you can come
and help me unpack the shopping
so we can lock the door again.
If that creature gets out
of here during the day,
we'll all be hung out to dry.
(bogey gasps)
(intense music)
- Mom!
(plucky music)
- Leave the world to sunlights,
and to oh, what's that smell?
- Oh, Gunge.
- Fungus.
What is that smell?
- Smell?
- Yeah.
Is it detergent, floor polish?
- Oh that!
A bit embarrassing, actually.
I was trying to block someone's toilet,
when the cabinet fell
off the bathroom wall,
and I got covered in
toothpaste, and shaving foam,
and antiseptic cream.
I can't wait to get home and massage
some good dirt and grime back in.
- Right.
- [Mould] Still asleep.
- Is the dry cleaner still--
- [Mildew] Sleeping.
- Oh good.
- Oh, what's that smell?
- Oh it's mustard and cleansing milk.
- Yuck!
- Stuff for the dry cleaner.
- I'll take it in for when she wakes up.
- I'll take it in for when she wakes up.
- Mildew can be very foolish sometimes,
but keeping a dry cleaner down here?
- I know what a dry cleaner looks like.
- I know you don't like Mould.
I quite understand that,
but he's perfectly capable of
getting into trouble enough
on his own without any help from you.
- [Bogey] Hello, Dad.
- Hello, love.
Good night's work?
- They're up to something next door.
- What?
- Met Fungus cycling back.
Had a pink wooly glove in his bag.
- A pink wooly glove?
- A clean, dry cleaner pink wooly glove.
(bogeys gasping)
- I'm telling you, it
was in here last night.
That was the noise you heard.
- Look, George, it is 7:30 in the morning.
I could really do without this.
- Unless there's two of them.
The one in the shed, and the one in here.
I guess that's a possibility.
- George, please?
- [George] What?
- Okay, maybe there was
something in the shed.
Maybe there was even something
in the kitchen last night, I don't know.
Like a cat, or a deer, or a sheep--
- Sheep don't eat mustard.
- Mr. Fletcher forgot
to take his medication
and thinks he's on the run from the FBI.
I really don't know, but that
is no reason for a grown man
to be wandering around in
the middle of the night
following trails of mustard.
George, where's my mackerel?
(eerie music)
- What are you doing?
- [Mould] Food, for you.
- Is this some kind of joke?
- No, these are for you too.
- Why are you giving me all this stuff?
- So you don't complain
and make a lot of noise,
because if you make a lot of
noise, other bogeys will hear.
And then we'll be in huge trouble.
- How did you get all this stuff?
- Dad went up to your house.
- To my house?
- We do it all the time.
- [Jessica] Do what?
- Go into people's houses.
- Why?
- To pull their bedclothes
off, or curdle the milk,
or leave snail tracks all
over the kitchen floors.
- But why?
- It's just what we do.
(plucky music)
- I just don't feel good
about getting her into trouble like that.
If a bogey was found keepin' a dry cleaner
down here in Bogeydom, well?
I don't know what would happen.
I've never heard of anyone
doin' anything like it.
- That's her problem.
You play with fire, you dry out.
Doesn't matter who you are.
You, me, Mildew, Fungus.
You can't escape the long
green arm of the law.
Come on, son.
- Where are we going, Dad?
- Police station.
- Bye, Mom!
- Oh.
(plucky music)
(eerie music)
(camera beeping)
- Jean Fitzpatrick.
- Hello Jean, it's
Jessica's father George.
Sorry to bother you.
No need to drag Jessica to the phone.
Probably still asleep in
the middle of your lawn.
Girls talk 'til two a.m.,
fresh air, that sort of thing.
I just wondered if you could tell her
I got a picture of the smaller one.
If there are two.
I wasn't able to tell from the photograph.
Anyway, she ought to give me
a call as soon as possible.
- Okay.
- Thanks very much, brilliant.
- So why do dry cleaners do what they do?
- Well that depends on what we do.
My dad works for a newspaper.
- That's where you find about wars
and killing people, isn't it?
- Well, it's a local newspaper,
so it's more who's won the
interpub dance championship.
- Our teacher said dry cleaners
don't like mud and trees,
so they put traffic lights everywhere
and fill everything with cash machines,
and then they feel much better.
- Well that's one way of looking at it.
- And that's why you must
never find out about Bogeydom,
because,
because they'd wipe us all out, all of us!
- Or turn you into a theme park.
- Oh, I forgot.
(Mould giggles)
Here you go.
- Great, home design is
really on the top of my agenda
at this precise moment.
Sorry.
Hey Mallorca, we went there last summer.
Dad got food poisoning,
and the toilets overflowed.
You could smell the drains all the time.
- Sounds all right.
What?
- Thanks.
- No problem.
(plucky music)
(phone ringing)
- What is that?
- Oh it's nothing.
- You wouldn't be sitting
on a nice little story
you're not gonna share with
your best mate Tony, would you?
- It's something so trivial and tedious
that I'd be embarrassed
to even tell you about it.
- Anything new on the rugby club brawl?
- You know what?
- What?
- I'm starting to have
serious doubts about that tie.
- Quite honest, I'm not
entirely sure of it myself.
- I'd lay off the pies as
well if I were you, sir.
Don't wait up, lovelies.
- I do hope this is not
some wild moose chase
you're leading me on, sir.
- Oh, just you wait until
you see inside their house.
Oh you'll change your tune, oh yes.
- Can't keep on like this.
Thinking the dry cleaners
are looking for her.
You having to go and get
her food every night.
Never able to have visitors.
Oh, how long is it going to be
before someone finds out?
(knocking)
- Mildew?
(Mildew gasps)
- Don't say anything.
- [Bogey] We know you're in there, Fungus.
- Just be quiet, they'll get
bored and go away in a minute.
- [Bogey] Could you
open this door, please?
(Mildew whimpers)
- Who's that?
- [Bogey] It's the police.
(tray clatters)
(ominous music)
- That's not good, is it?
(knocking)
- [Cop] Come on, come on, open up.
- I've got an idea, come on.
- [Mildew] I sincerely hope it's better
than your other ideas.
- Just help me push the cupboard.
Mucus, make sure nothing falls off.
One, two, three!
(cupboard scraping)
Come on, one, two, three!
One, two, three!
- What's going on?
- Dad's locking us in.
(intense music)
- Looks like there's no one in.
- They're just not answering the door.
Obviously they don't want us to know
that they've got a dry cleaner--
- I have got better
things to do with my time
than to waste it here with you.
- Officer!
- Sorry, didn't hear you knocking.
I was upstairs putting some--
- That's quite all right, madam.
Sorry about this.
- You two stay here.
This could be dangerous.
- But--
- No buts.
- Oh!
- How could you?
Keeping a dry cleaner down here?
Ashamed to think that you're my sister.
- Feeling's entirely
mutual, I can tell ya.
- Oh!
Oh!
- So, apparently you have
a dry cleaner in the house?
- A dry cleaner?
That's ridiculous.
- Quite.
Just have to check.
Got to keep him happy.
Got a few screws loose, I reckon.
Just be a couple of minutes.
- Oh yes, of course.
- I'll start upstairs.
- Was this your idea?
- Grot saw it through the window.
- Saw what?
- [Cop] Any dry cleaners up here?
- I know your Septic's sister, Mildew,
and I know that blood
is thicker than snot,
but great love hath no bogey
than he'd give up his neighbor
for the greater good of Bogeydom.
- [Cop] How about in here?
- Ah, oh this is it.
I've wrecked everything.
It's all my fault, isn't it?
- We still love you, Dad.
- Aw.
- Even if you do do some
stupid things sometimes.
- Nothin' up there.
Looks like your son has rather
an overactive imagination.
Sorry about that.
- Hey, wait a minute.
Where's your living room gone?
- Sorry?
- Mucus?
There used to be a door there.
- Did there?
Oh, yes.
We decided to move things round a bit.
- Oh yes, yes, move things round.
- Did you now?
Officer?
- Oh, sorry about this madam.
If you could just stand aside, thank you.
(cupboard scraping)
(bogeys grunting)
Oh, now what have we here?
- Looking a little pale, Fungus.
Are you all right?
- Oh yes, I'm fine.
Absolutely fine.
- Is everybody watching?
- Oh, just get on with it.
(suspenseful music)
- It's empty!
- I had noticed.
- I feel faint.
- Thank bogey for that.
- [Cop] I think you've
got some explaining to do.
- It's in there somewhere.
I feel it in my slime.
- Where is she?
Where is Mould?
What's happened to them?
- Perhaps she's escaped.
- I don't know.
I don't care.
To relieved to think.
I'm just glad I've not been
taken away in handcuffs.
- She's got him.
She's captured him and taken him away!
- You do realize that it is an
offense to waste police time?
Not to mention, slandering your neighbors.
- I'm a fine upstanding bogey, I am.
Never broken a law in my life.
Hope I never do.
- [Mildew] What are you doing?
- Come on, we've gotta get out of here!
- Letting that disgusting fresh air in!
- Right, I've had enough
of this, please leave.
- [Grot] Oh something!
Mom!
- No, go.
- But you--
- Go.
- Go, go on.
Leave.
(Fungus chuckles)
(Fungus sighs)
- Have you arrested 'em?
- For what?
- For keeping a dry cleaner in
the house, you stupid bogey.
- Septic.
- I don't know why I bother.
Ruin a nice, quiet day.
- Oh right, trust you?
Seeing as you're the one
that got us into this mess in the first--
- Barking, completely barking mad.
The lot of them.
- Come on, quick!
- Keepin' a dry cleaner in
their house, preposterous idea.
- You're the one that
saw that pink wooly glove
in his bogey bag.
- I said they were up to something.
That was all.
(suspenseful music)
- Hey, I saw the dry
cleaner, look, I saw it!
- You see anything else, young bogey,
and you're sleeping in the dry.
Now in.
(plucky music)
- Right then George, what's your game?
George White.
Forget his own head if it wasn't for me.
(ominous music)
Good golly.
What on earth?
- And the band's up on stage,
and there are these really
bright strobe lights,
and if you're down in the
front near the speakers,
the music's so loud, it hurts your ears.
- Amazing!
Come on, we've gotta keep going, Jessica!
- [Jessica] Are they dead?
- Oh no, they'll be asleep.
- Oh.
- Sometimes bogeys just lie in a hole
and go to sleep for a whole year.
Come on, this way.
(gentle music)
- So where do they lead to?
- Look.
Well?
That one over there, that leads
to another part of Bogeydom.
And that one next to it,
that leads to France,
which is a long way away from here.
And the one over there, well that leads
to near where you live.
Except you've got to
remember, in the tunnels,
there's lots of junctions,
and you have to know which one to take.
- Right.
Let's go do some more exploring.
- Well, as long as you
promise not to run, though.
(plucky music)
- Well?
- I can't find them anywhere.
- Well my guess is that
Mould has done something
really, really brainless.
- Mucus!
- Just step through and watch.
- Hello there.
- Hello.
- Hello.
(both chuckling)
- We were on this rooftop,
looking at the stars.
They're amazing.
Made me feel a bit dizzy
thinking how far they were away.
And this lorry came down the road,
had these bright lights on it.
Hurt my eyes, but it was exciting too.
Dad scared the driver.
It was well good.
- Actually, I quite like the dark.
Sometimes late at night, my friend Katie
comes into our garden, and she
throws stones at my window,
and I slip out of the house,
and we go for walks together.
(gentle piano music)
Mould?
- What?
- I just wanted to say, sorry.
- What for?
- I like you.
- I like you too.
- We're not all bad, you know.
- I know.
- You will remember that, won't you?
- Yeah, but what do you mean, remember?
- Nothing.
I was just...
- Maybe, maybe that's why bogeymen
go up top to scare dry cleaners.
Because they get bored of being
stuck down here all the time,
and maybe that's why dry cleaners
tell stories about bogeymen.
Because they think it's exciting
to imagine there's another
place, another world
that isn't all clean and bright and noisy.
And that's why it's fun having you here.
Showing you everything.
Which you think is exciting,
which makes me think it's exciting too.
Like I haven't looked at it
before, not really looked at it.
Jessica?
(ominous music)
Jessica!
(Mould sighs)
The map, oh no.
(birds chirping)
- [Man] What the blazes
are you doing in here?
- Ah, George White, Rutland Herald.
- Oh, that rag.
- Just following up a lead.
- [Man] What, in my barn?
Fooling around by my barn?
- [George] Yes, it's gotta be here.
- [Man] Well in that case,
if you wouldn't mind--
- Oh yes, I'm sorry.
I didn't want to interrupt your farming.
- Yeah, well next time you can ask.
- Absolutely, well done.
A jolly good idea, will do.
(suspenseful music)
Oh no, yuck.
A slug?
Ugh, Jessica?
What are you doing here?
I thought you were at Katie's.
- Katie's, no, I mean yes.
- What have you been doing?
You're covered in muck.
- Yeah--
- Listen, I saw one.
One of those things that
you saw in the cupboard?
It was in the shed, and
it ran at me like that,
and then there was something
in the house the other night.
It was in the kitchen,
and it raided the fridge,
and I found my camera and, what?
- Can we just drop it for now?
- Sorry, you okay though?
- Yeah, I'm fine.
A bit tired, but I'm all right.
- Let's get you home and a warm bath.
It's a little bit out of focus.
(intense music)
- Mould?
- What happened?
- I've done something really stupid.
- Told you!
- [Fungus] Well, maybe she'll
get lost in the tunnels.
- Uh.
- Uh, what?
- [Mould] I uh--
- Did something really stupid?
- I gave her the map.
- I'm not even gonna
ask how that happened.
- Maybe we can catch her
before she tells anyone,
get the map back, and
bring her back down again.
- [Mildew] And if she has told them?
(ominous music)
- Then we'll have to tell the police.
- Tell the police?
- They can block up the bogey hole.
Either way, we won't get out of the soap
by standing here talking about it.
Too light up there at the moment.
We'll have to go first thing.
- I'll set the alarm.
- Mucus.
- Oh, yes.
I'll come with you.
- Looks like we're going
back up top, young bogey.
- Okay.
- [Jessica] I just, I can't tell you.
- Look, okay you know,
you say you've seen some
creature in the kitchen,
and then you say that you're
going camping with Katie,
and you come back utterly
exhausted, covered in mud,
and you refuse to say what's going on.
I mean, we are not trying
to interrogate you, love.
We're just really worried.
- You have to promise not to tell anyone.
- Well, you know us.
- I mean it!
This is serious, you have to promise.
- Well, okay.
- Yes, okay we promise.
- Dad was right.
There was something in the shed.
There was something in the kitchen,
and it wasn't an animal,
but it wasn't a human.
- I beg your pardon?
- I've been underground.
I mean, really underground,
hundreds of feet down
at the bottom of these,
these tunnels.
That's where they come from and they--
- What's happening?
- Oh.
- Right, we're just having a little chat
with your sister on her
own, if that's okay.
Come on, little soldier.
Okay, you can watch a little bit of telly.
- But I've already
watched television today,
and you said--
- You can watch a bit more, can't you?
As long as it's educational.
Shark program?
- The shark program's scary.
- Chimpanzees?
- Okay.
- And they have shops, and houses,
and canals, and bridges,
and television, and newspaper, and radios.
- Jessica, I don't want to upset you
by saying that you're lying, or anything,
even though you've obviously
had a very upsetting experience
whatever it was, and you know--
- Perhaps we'd better
talk about this later, hm?
- I'm so exhausted.
- Oh, love.
Come on, let's get you up to bed eh?
Into the bath, have a nice sleep.
(emotional music)
- Might not have got out, of course.
Lots of tunnels.
Probably got lost.
What if she did get out?
Might have told the dry cleaners already.
They might be up there, waiting,
with hoses and soap and guns!
Oh, drowsy numbness pains my senses
if a horrible clean water--
- Fungus.
- What?
- [Mildew] Go to sleep!
(Fungus groans)
(steam hissing)
- Hey love.
Listen, do you want something to eat?
I could probably rush you
up some scrambled eggs,
or a ham sandwich or something?
- [Jessica] No, it's okay.
I'll just have some leftovers.
- Sure?
- Yep.
- Oh not that, it's been in there ages.
I should've thrown it out.
- No, this looks great.
- You okay, love?
Mind your back.
- Yes, Jessica's up.
- [George] Oh is she feeling better?
- Not entirely sure.
- [George] Sleeping in the day
always makes me feel awful.
- Where are you off to?
- Just doing a little story for Patterson.
- At this time?
It's nothing to do with
that bogey nonsense, is it?
- No, no, no, no, no, no, badgers.
- Badgers?
- Friendly natures, they're nocturnal.
Could be quite a long night.
- Well, I won't wait up then.
(Jane yelping)
George!
(suspenseful music)
- It's okay, there's no one around.
Come on.
- [Mould] Dad?
I'm really sorry about this, Dad.
- [Fungus] Mould.
- It's my fault!
If I hadn't been scared and
run off and gotten lost,
we wouldn't be in all
this trouble, would we?
- Yes, but I shouldn't
have brought you up top.
- I know, but--
- Mould,
we're in this together,
and we'll get out of it together.
(plucky music)
(rock taps)
- Katie?
(rock taps)
- You won't even know I'm there mister?
- Tompkins.
- Tompkins.
- Well if there's some creature around,
I'd best go check the animals.
- Excellent idea.
- You do know that's a
listed building, don't you?
- Is it?
Oh thanks, that's great.
Bit of history, lovely.
(suspenseful music)
Hello, Tony.
Just calling from my office
at The New York Times.
How is everything at the
Manchester Evening Chronicle?
(birds chirping)
(suspenseful music)
(Tony yelling)
- You stabbed me!
With a fork!
- Well what are you doing hiding in a barn
in the middle of the night?
- What are you doing
wandering around a barn
in the middle o the night with a fork?
- Katie?
(frogs croaking)
Katie.
Katie.
- Psst, Jessica!
It's us.
Me and Dad.
- [Jessica] What do you want?
Don't do anything.
- Listen, we have to find out
whether you've told any
other dry cleaners about us.
We have to get the map back.
- I couldn't stay down
there, I had to escape.
- Sh, please don't shout,
otherwise we'll get caught.
- I haven't told anyone.
- She could be lying.
- How do we know you're not lying?
- I mean, I told Mom and Dad.
- Oh no!
She told her--
- But it's okay, because
they didn't believe me.
- We'll have to take her back down.
- Now hold on a minute.
- Right, you go that way--
- No!
I'm telling the truth.
- Yeah, but you're a dry cleaner--
- [Jane] Jessica?
- What?
Don't!
- Come back!
- Wait for me.
Under my window.
(dog barking)
- Right, we're gonna wait
'til the middle of the night
to go in and grab her,
and get the map back.
- Look, Dad, I think
she's telling the truth.
- Mould.
(bell tolling)
- Dad, wait!
Listen.
- To what?
- Exactly.
If they're after us,
there'd be dry cleaners
everywhere, wouldn't they?
Mops, microphones, floodlights?
- All right, all right.
But what exactly are
we going to do about...
The map?
(emotional music)
You know, I don't think your
mother was any keener than me
on the thought of
spending the next 50 years
hiding a dry cleaner in the house.
(both chuckle)
I'm gonna tell the police
that I've seen some dry cleaners
poking around the bogey hole.
They'll seal it up, then that'll be it.
Then again, maybe not.
- Take one look at this--
- What?
- I think they believed her.
Sh sh sh sh sh.
(frogs croaking)
(emotional music)
- So where's Dad got to then?
- Something about a nature reserve.
Badgers, apparently.
- Badgers?
Oh no!
Oh no!
(plucky music)
- Jessica, what's the matter?
- I'll see you later.
- What, where are you going?
- [Jessica] Out.
- [Tom] Mom, Mom?
(camera clicking)
- Good, eh?
- Well it's still my story.
- This used to be your story, George.
Then, you assaulted me with a garden tool.
Generously sharing the
credit with me on this
is the least you can do in
the circumstances, so spill.
If it's particularly good,
I might let you have
some of my hot chocolate.
- Right.
You stay here, I'll scare them,
they'll run away,
and then we'll head for the bogey hole.
- Okay.
- Right.
Let's screw my courage
to the sticky place.
- [Tony] That's why you
need a professional, George.
- We both work at the
same newspaper, Tony!
- Ah ah, used to work at
the same newspaper, George.
See, one silly little mistake
and this story could slip
through your fingers.
That's why you need someone
who's been at the sharp end, George.
You need someone who can keep their cool
when the going gets tough.
You need someone who can go--
(Tony screams)
(equipment clattering)
- Sh!
(camera clicking)
- [George] I got him!
(George groans)
- Come on, stay out of sight.
I couldn't scare them.
He tried to grab my leg.
Oh, we're going to have to hide.
- [Tony] Has it gone?
- [George] It's gone.
- What on earth was...
- You promised you wouldn't tell anyone.
- What are you doing here?
Oh wait a minute, no I didn't tell anyone.
He got a map out of my--
- We've just seen the
most incredible thing.
A monster, creature thing.
- What happened?
- We nearly caught it.
- What?
- We?
- Yeah, but it managed to get away.
- Where did it go?
- I dunno, it just rushed off
into the darkness somewhere.
- Oh no.
- But George says that if
they've gotta get underground
they have to come back
to the barn somewhere,
so if we linger here, or hereabouts,
then it might just,
is there something you're
not telling me about?
- I hate you.
- Right, let's just,
let's just calm down and
look at this rationally.
- I hate you.
- Yes, you said.
Thanks a bunch, Tony.
I'll be back.
Jessica, wait.
Wait, please sweetie?
(suspenseful music)
(equipment clatters)
Jessica, please.
- [Jessica] You lied to me.
- I did not lie to you, Jessica.
I did not, I'm sorry.
I should've told you what I was doing.
I just wanted to get a photograph.
Tony was a mistake, he just
barged in like he usually does.
- All right, a photograph.
Then everyone will see it,
and it'll be in the papers,
and they'll come and dig down underground
and kill them all, and put them in zoos,
and it'll be my fault because I told you.
- But I'm a journalist,
Jessica, it's what I do!
This'll be the biggest story
I've ever written in my entire life.
This'll make my name.
I could get a job in London!
- We don't want to go to London!
We like living here.
If you tell everyone
where that bogey hole is,
you can go to London on your own,
but we're staying here.
- Jessica.
- I love you, Dad.
I love you, because you're nice,
and you're kind, and you're funny.
Because you don't go
around hurting people,
but this isn't nice, or kind, or funny.
This is really nasty.
- Wait, wait, wait.
- I'm serious.
What's more important to you,
me and Mom and Tom,
or getting a better job?
- It's not a choice between--
- But it is a choice, 'cause
if this gets into the papers
then people will die.
- Well, people is a
bit of an exaggeration.
- They have names!
They have children, they talk,
they have gardens, they read books,
they have radios, they have televisions.
They have newspapers,
and do you know what they say about us?
- [George] What?
- That we spend our whole
time chopping down forests,
or building motorways,
or killing one another,
or wiping whole species of animal
off the face of the earth.
And they're pretty much
right, aren't they?
We are dangerous.
Which is why we never see them.
Because they're not.
And they know that if we ever,
ever found out about
them, that would be it.
They'd be wiped out, like that.
(emotional music)
You see, it is a choice.
I like you being my dad, I really do,
but if you do something
where you know people
are gonna end up being killed,
you're not my dad anymore.
You work it out.
(emotional music)
(George sighs)
- What's that?
- It was in the back of the car.
- Because?
- If you fail to plan,
you plan to fail, George.
I intend to catch one of these things
if it's the last thing I do.
And call me squeamish, but if
we're gonna be manhandling it,
I'd rather it was wrapped up.
I mean, that thing did not look hygienic.
Hold that.
- Yes, well I'm sorry
to ring so late really.
She's back, yes so sorry,
thank you very much.
- Don't even, I'm going to bed.
- Jessica, I'm honestly worried,
I've been worried sick, Jess!
- I think you're a really good bogey.
- You're just trying
to make me feel better.
- No, you brought me up
top and it was great.
And bogling together was
the best fun I've ever had,
and you never lie.
And you never shout at me like Mom.
You don't show off like Gunge.
- Mould, it's really rancid of you
to say those things, but--
- You were right.
- About what?
- About surprises and
deodorant, and headlights.
I mean, it's nice in here,
but out there.
- There's nothing like being
stuck up top to make you,
make you realize how good home is.
- When I get back down,
I'm gonna work really hard in school so,
so I can become a proper bogey like you.
- Well, in which case we'd
better keep our heads down.
Best get some sleep, eh?
- Okay.
(both gasping)
(water burbling)
(gentle music)
(owl hoots)
- And he dove down behind
the giant cereal bowl
to hide himself from
the gamma ray cannons.
Pew pew!
- [Jane] Where's Jessica?
- She got up and went out.
Has she run away to Katie's again?
- Going to Katie's is not running away.
Did she actually say
she's going to Katie's?
- She never tells me anything.
- Morning.
- Hello, Dad.
- Honestly, where have you been?
I've been really worried, boots.
- Sorry, the badgers
got a bit out of hand.
- Listen George, about these badgers--
- I'll tell you all about it later,
but right now I just need
some seriously strong coffee.
- But he puts his head up
above the giant cereal bowl
to see where they're firing,
and the gamma ray cannon hits
him in the head, badoosh!
(gentle music)
- Mould?
(crows cawing)
(wings flapping)
- [Mildew] Have to tell someone.
- Maybe if we leave it just a little.
- Can't leave it.
What if they've been caught?
Don't want to waste time
sitting around here waiting.
Have to do something, now.
- But soon as you tell the police--
- [Mildew] Wasn't thinking
of telling the police.
- Oh no.
You can't!
(door creaks)
- And I know we haven't
always seen eye to eye,
especially over the past few days,
and you know I wouldn't ask for help
if it wasn't an emergency,
but they're in trouble, I know they are.
- If you think we're going to help you,
after you made us look like fools
in front of that policeman, oh no.
If you make your bed all dry and crispy--
- But Septic--
- You have to lie in it.
- Now wait a minute.
- You're not going to help them?
- A bogey in need is a bogey indeed.
Whatever Fungus might have done,
don't want it being said
that we refused help when we were asked.
Want it being said that we
were generous, and kind.
Besides, I'm going up top
in the morning anyway.
Sure it won't take me much
out of me way to find them,
and bring them back down.
- Thank you, Gunge.
I'm very grateful.
- You'd better be.
(birds chirping)
(bell tolling)
(men chattering)
(Jessica sniffs)
- Mould?
Fungus?
Are you in there?
(mud burbles)
You are in there.
Listen, I'm really sorry about my dad.
It's a long story.
Look, I'm going to help you.
(mud burbling)
I'll come back tonight, I'll
do something, I promise.
- What are you up to, young lady?
- Nothing, I was just
looking at the manure spreader.
It's amazing, how does it work?
- Are you really interested?
- Yeah, cranes, combine harvesters,
helicopters, I love all that stuff.
- Well, you run the whole
thing from this lever here.
And that's fixed up to your PTO
and that'll send your
spindle moving around.
(device beeping)
- I'm just gonna pop
home for a little bit.
I'll be back in a minute.
- Yeah.
Pot of coffee'd be nice.
And some doughnuts!
(device beeping)
- If you're bored of your job,
you should write the novel.
Or learn how to do rock climbing,
or take flying lessons,
or something like--
- Look, you're not listening to me.
- What?
- I'm gonna help you.
- Really?
- Yes, but Tony isn't.
- Tony's an idiot.
- I think we're all in agreement on that.
- So?
- Well so it shouldn't be too hard
for us to deal with an idiot, should it?
Anyway, I'd better get back to that barn.
We don't want him there on
his own if they do appear.
- They can't go anywhere in daylight.
- What, so I don't have to
go back 'til it gets dark?
- Nope.
- Well, okay.
Right, let's see if he can survive
the whole day without doughnuts, shall we?
(plucky music)
- Let's see if I can save that
idiot brother-in-law of ours.
(both slurping)
- And Jake said that a
shark ate an alligator,
but I said--
- It's not a race, Jessica.
- And he said that there
were saltwater alligators--
- Where are you going now?
- [Jessica] I'll be back later.
- But I said that was only in the Amazon--
- I'll go see what she's up to.
- The Amazon.
- George?
- Where's everybody gone?
- I don't know, Tom.
(crickets chirping)
- Ready?
- Ready.
Five minutes.
- Five minutes.
(suspenseful music)
- Mould?
Mould?
(Tony grunting)
- Come back here you!
Ah, stink!
- Oh no.
- George!
- Please no.
- George, stand still, ow!
- Jessica!
Sh, had to make sure you came on your own.
- So who's that then?
- Oh dear.
- That's Gunge.
- Who's Gunge?
- Mom's brother-in-law.
Lives next door to us.
It's all right, 'cause we don't like him.
- This is all going so wrong.
- I really should've
stayed in bed this month.
- I've got an idea, come on.
(plucky music)
- [Tony] George, George!
- Tony, I saw one of them by the bog.
- Got one here, come and help me.
Don't just stand there like a lemon!
(Tony grunting)
- Careful, you don't wanna hurt him.
- Hurt it!
Whose side are you on?
You gonna help me or not?
(engine roaring)
- That must be old Tompkins working late.
- Be a sight more use than you.
Come on.
Ride it, sonny.
- Be careful of him!
(engine roaring)
Jessica?
- [Tony] Oh no!
(both sputtering)
- Jessica!
- What?
What's the matter?
- Come on, come on, come on!
- We can't leave Gunge here.
I've got to save him.
- Yuck, yuck!
(Fungus roars)
- Come on, Gunge.
Come on.
- Wait, George, we can still get it.
- Sorry about that, Tony.
- What's happening here?
- Never mind just keep moving.
- I'm meant to be saving you!
- What's going on out here?
(Tony yelps)
Eh, what's going on?
- Down the hole, quick!
- What's this dry cleaner doing here?
It's seen the bogey hole!
It's seen us!
We've gotta, oh!
- Sorry, Gunge.
Come on, there's no time, we have to go.
Bye.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
- Goodbye.
- Bye-bye.
- Jessica.
Did they all get away then?
- Yeah, thanks.
- I didn't do that much.
- You were great.
I mean, I know how important it was to you
to get a job at a proper paper.
- Oh, I reckon there's been
enough excitement around here lately.
Where's that hole then?
- You don't seriously think
I'm going to tell you where--
- I think we'd better get out of here.
- Costs.
- You don't suppose I showered myself
in this stuff on purpose, do you?
- So you're telling me these
three lizards came out--
- It's bogeymen!
- [Jane] I see, thank you
so much for letting us know.
- Mom!
- Yes.
- Mom!
- Yes.
- Jessica's coming with a bogeyman!
- Don't worry, it's just us.
(Jane screams)
- Oh, George!
- Don't ask, you don't wanna know.
- Just, just stay there!
- You smell really, really bad.
- Thanks very much, Tom.
- Feet, feet, George.
On the floor, oh.
Ooh, listen.
That was your beloved editor.
- Oh I hope you told him
to take a running jump.
- [Jane] Well frankly that's
going to be rather difficult.
- What?
- He fell over a golf
flag on the 15th hole,
broke his leg in two places.
- Oh.
- Yes.
Apparently you are now the new
acting editor of the Rutland Herald.
- Wow!
- Wow!
- Wow!
Hey, wow!
(pleasant music)
- Mom, they're back.
- What?
(both chuckling)
My boys!
(all slurping)
Oh, I thought I'd never see you again.
- Never see us again?
Couldn't let that happen.
- You smell wonderful!
(Fungus chuckling)
- Thank you.
- So, what happened?
- Well I think we saved Bogeydom.
Even got your brother-in-law
back down in one piece.
Might have to use another
bogey hole from now on,
but I could do with a change.
- And Mould?
- Couldn't have done it without him.
- I'm so glad to have you home.
- And, do you know what?
- What?
- I can't think of any
other place I'd rather be.
- That's right.
Come on, we'll make a
big pot of cold slime,
and then you can tell us all about it.
(Fungus chuckling)
(Fungus sneezes)
(Mould sneezes)
- And if it wasn't for me,
they'd still be stuck up there now.
(dramatic music)
(gentle music)
- [George] Night, Jess.
Sweet dreams.
(pleasant music)
(Multicom Jingle)
(footsteps stomping)
(plucky music)
(frog croaking)
- I'm sure I heard someone.
- [Man] Can't wait a minute?
- I'm going to make a drink.
(gate creaking)
(suspenseful music)
(keys jangling)
(tree branches rustling)
(door creaking)
(frog croaking)
(creature chuckling)
Harold!
(creature gasps)
(woman screams)
(glass tinkles)
(intense music)
(slime squelching)
- Ah, not concentrating.
I nearly got caught!
Not good.
Definitely not good.
(plucky music)
Hello, Dad.
- Hello, son.
Fungus?
- Gunge.
Septic.
Grot.
- Lovely damp evening.
- [Fungus] Yes, I suppose it is.
- Heard about young
Grot's exam results then?
- No.
- Oh, pleased as pigs we were.
- Yes.
- [Gunge] Hear your
Mould didn't do so well.
- No?
- Be very disappointed.
- Yes, well, he may not be a genius--
- [Mildew] You come back here, Mould!
- See you later, I'm going out.
- Mould!
I'd better be going in.
- Always said that boy
would come to a bad end.
(all murmur agreement)
(dramatic music)
- Fails his retakes, and that's it.
Never be allowed to go up
top and scare dry cleaners.
What would his grandfather
have said about that?
Or his great grandfather?
Or his great great grandfather?
Fungus.
Can't have a son about
who's forced to collect
cow pats for a living.
- I'll have a word with
him in the morning.
- Strike while the biscuit's
furry, that's what I say.
A flicked ear wouldn't go amiss either.
- Don't need arguments at the moment.
Or giving flicked ears.
Just want a nice, quiet life.
- What's got into you today?
Eh?
- Nearly got caught up top.
(dishes clatter)
- Oh!
(ominous music)
(Fungus sighs)
Come on, darkling.
Everyone has a bad day.
Now and then.
- Yes, well I seem to be having
quite a few bad days at the moment.
And maybe I'm taking too many risks.
- Now you don't become a master bogler
by scaring the same
six people every night,
like Gunge next door.
- Yes, well if anyone finds
out that I've been seen
by a dry cleaner, it'll
be me collecting cow pats
for the rest of my life.
- Now, don't start thinking like that.
We have enough to worry about
with that delinquent son of
ours and his drop in friends.
- Oh, he's only a teenager.
Probably out there having
a bit of harmless fun.
Yeah.
(muffled music)
(people chattering)
- You came, then.
- Yeah, yeah.
It's really loud, man.
- Oh yeah.
So you've got the stuff then?
- Yeah, yeah, it's all in here.
- You sure you're up for this?
- Yeah, really lit up, man.
- Well, well let's roll.
- Roll.
So, Stench?
Where is it we're going?
- Oh I'll tell you that when we get there.
- Right, sure, okay.
- Scab.
- [Scab] Oh, sorry.
- 'Course, as soon as Septic got the news,
she was round here like a shot.
Grot this, Grot that.
What a pity about Mould.
You'd think after all this time,
my sister would stop
showing off, wouldn't you?
Wanting to be fatter and uglier,
wanting to have the wettest
sofa and the dirtiest kitchen?
We have to do something about that boy.
- Yes, I know.
- Where is he?
Honestly.
Look at the time!
- Perhaps we should think
about getting some sleep, eh?
Come on, darkling.
- [Creature] Yeah, but I'm worried.
- [Fungus] Oh, I'm sure
he's going to be all right.
Even with his drop in friends.
- [Creature] You say that, Fungus,
but you should really
be more firm with him.
(slime squelching)
(suspenseful music)
(girl roaring)
- Go away!
- And they're gonna come
in the middle of the night,
and they're gonna eat you!
- Dad, Jessica's scaring me!
- Jessica, just calm down.
- All right, it's bedtime both of you.
- But I don't go to bed for another hour.
- Well, start acting like a 13 year old,
you can have a 13 year old's bedtime.
- Oh come on!
- Stop it.
George, let's get that washing up.
- 30,000 spuds in a road.
It's not exactly the first
manned flight to Mars, is it?
- Thought it was a very
well written article.
- No, yeah of course.
While I'm standing in the drizzle
on the dual carriageway for two hours,
Tony's sipping champagne
and eating smoked salmon
and nibbles with the mayor.
- Right, that should stop them.
- How am I ever gonna get
employed on a real newspaper
if all I ever write about
is prize winning cucumbers
at the village fair and Mrs. Bogdowner
having her lawnmower stolen?
It doesn't look great on a CV, does it?
- Well, at least you don't
work at a supermarket checkout.
- Ooh, there's days
where I dream of working
on a supermarket checkout.
- Oh, George.
Come on, if you got a
job on a real newspaper,
in the middle of a city?
Gosh, we'd be surrounded by
smog, and fumes, and filth.
And we'd dream about
coming back to this place.
- Yes, I suppose you're right.
- Come on.
(suspenseful music)
(slime squelching)
- Morning, Dad.
- Morning, Mucus.
- Have you got to tell Mould off?
- Well, actually I'm a bit late--
- What time did you manage
to roll in last night, then?
Your father's not pleased.
I can tell you that from
the food you're wearing.
Must've been bad.
If you were doing well at school,
but look at ya.
Hardly a speck anywhere.
- Yeah, well maybe I don't
like being dirty all the time!
(Mildew sniffs)
- You've been using deodorant, haven't ya?
- No!
- Don't you lie to me, young bogey.
Fungus.
- What?
- You talk to him!
- [Fungus] Ugh, I'll go and talk to him.
- [Mucus] Do you think that'll work?
- Not holding my breath.
(plucky music)
(Mould sighs)
- Have to stop this.
- Stop what?
- Staying out all night,
listening to loud music, washing!
You have to be a good
bogey, nice and dirty.
- But if I--
- And quiet.
- But it's boring!
- Boring's good.
And you have to do better at school, too.
You want to go up top, don't you?
You want to grow up to be
a proper bogeyman like me?
(Fungus growls)
- Like you?
- Yes, well.
We'll talk about this later, eh?
I've got to go work now.
Try and be nice to your mother, eh?
(plucky music)
- [Mildew] Told him then?
- Yeah, it's probably just a phase.
- I sincerely hope so.
- Bye, my love.
(both slurping)
- Stay moist!
- I will!
(pleasant music)
(slime burbling)
- [George] Hey, your
sister's just winding you up.
Bogeymen don't exist.
- But--
- Ah, uh, trust me on this.
I'm a journalist.
If there was something out there,
I'd know about it long
before you did, okay?
- Even if it was an invisible
monster, and it was hiding?
- Even if it was an invisible
monster, and it was hiding.
Now come on.
Sweet dreams, captain.
(eerie music)
(mobile squeaking)
(slime squelching)
(intense music)
- [Gunge] Fungus!
- Gunge?
(both chuckling)
- Fancy a bit of good old fashioned
four-handed bogling then?
- Maybe some other time, eh?
- Oh.
Suit yourself.
- Good scaring!
- Yeah!
Don't let the dry cleaners bite!
- I'll try not to!
(suspenseful music)
- Yeah well, only swats do well in school,
and anyway, I don't like
people telling me what to do.
Not Mom, not Dad, not the teachers,
and especially not you.
Hi Stench.
- How's it hanging, bogeyboy?
- Really shiny, man.
- Hey, nice work last night.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
(both spit)
- I can't wait to see
the look on their faces.
- No, I mean yeah, right.
Sorry, sorry.
- Keep washing.
- Keep washing.
- Scab, this way.
- See you later, bogeyboys.
- What were you doing last night?
- None of your business.
- Oh well, I guess I'll
find out soon enough.
Seeing as you're always getting caught.
(plucky music)
(Fungus groans)
(Fungus sighs)
- You really shouldn't, Fungus.
(Fungus clattering)
I mean, why do we do this?
Blowed if I know.
You go woo, they scream,
same thing every night for 40 years.
Get old, do the garden, retire.
Die.
- [Bogey] Hello, stupid.
- Don't say anything.
- Yeah, well being stupid's
better than being a mummy's boy.
Anyway, I'm not stupid.
- You just said you're stupid.
- No I didn't.
- You're gonna come to a bad end, you are.
- Am not!
- Maybe when you're older,
you can get an award
for advancing the noble art
of washing your armpits.
- Maybe I can get an award for this!
(bogey laughing)
- You couldn't scare
little dry cleaner lady
if she was in the middle of the forest
on a foggy night, all by herself.
Stupid bogey.
- But it would be a mistake
to think that dry cleaners
are just stupid creatures,
who spend their time
running around shouting
and listening to loud music,
and buying new clothes, and pouring
poisonous chemicals into their toilets.
The dry cleaner is the most dangerous
and violent animal a bogey
will ever come across.
They are always waging war on one another,
or reading about these
wars in their newspapers.
They are always watching films
about people being killed,
or reading books about
people being killed.
Dry cleaner children even play games
and play pretend to kill one another.
A dry cleaner will think
nothing of crushing a spider.
And that is why they must never, ever
find out about our existence.
That is why they must
never ever catch a bogey.
(chair clatters)
What is going on back there?
- Nothing.
- Just Mould again.
- [Teacher] Oh, I might've guessed.
(bogeys whispering)
- What'd he do?
- Look at the bust.
He cleaned it!
- Did you do it?
- Yeah!
(kids whispering)
- And the light's lit.
- In the night.
- [Bogey] Oh you can still smell the soap.
- [Bogey] But don't tell the teacher.
- [Bogey] But how did he get up there?
(kids whispering)
- I heard it was you
and your mate, Stench.
- Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't.
- I don't believe it.
I don't think you're brave
enough to do a thing like that.
- Am!
- Mould.
- Stay out of this.
- I don't think you'd dare
do that kind of thing.
- Yes I would.
- All mouth, no trousers, that's you.
- Oi, that's my mate Mould
you're talking about there.
- He wouldn't know where to get a sponge.
- You're way out of line there, bogey boy.
- What's this, then?
(kids gasping)
And this?
(kids chattering)
- Here we go again.
- Out of here.
- Headmaster's office.
- But it wasn't even me!
- Now!
(kids laughing)
(slime burbling)
(ominous music)
(keys jangling)
(door creaking)
- Ooh, oh, cleaning stuff.
Least if I was collecting cow pats
I wouldn't have to come up here
every night, risking my neck.
(trap snaps)
Ow, ooh.
(trap clattering)
(apples clattering)
(ominous music)
(dog barking)
(dishes rattle)
(Fungus snorts)
(dishes rattle)
(toilet flushing)
(water running)
(suspenseful music)
- Who's in there?
(Fungus grunting)
(door rattling)
Come on, come out of there!
Open the door!
(Fungus gasping)
(intense music)
(door creaks)
- [George] What was that noise?
(Jane groans)
- It's five o'clock, George.
(things clattering)
(ominous music)
- W-w-w-what are you?
(tool clatters)
(Fungus grunting)
Wait!
- Jessica?
Jessica?
(Jane yawns)
Jessica!
(Jane groaning)
- Those mice!
- What, oh.
(plucky music)
(rooster crows)
(Fungus panting)
- Oh!
Oh I nearly got caught again.
I'm not very good at this anymore.
(suspenseful music)
Not very good, at all.
(crickets chirping)
- You think I enjoy being hauled in
to talk to your headmaster?
You think I enjoy being told
I can't control me own son?
That man is waiting for
an excuse to expel you.
One more foot out of line,
and you'll never be allowed to go up top.
- Jess, love, honestly, where did you go?
I mean, on a night like
this, in your pajamas?
And you've got mud, she's got
mud on her slippers, George.
- There was this thing in the cupboard.
A creature.
A man, really ugly and covered in slime.
- Was it a bogeyman?
- What?
No, 'course it wasn't a bogeyman, eh?
- He had this huge, dirty bag,
and I opened the cupboard and he just--
- I don't wanna be eaten by a bogeyman!
- Look, there is no bogeyman, okay?
Now, will you please stop this?
Enough is enough, it isn't funny,
and say sorry to Tom.
- I'm telling the truth.
- I'll have words with you later.
Now, let's get you to
bed, little soldier okay?
It's only your silly sister
trying to wind you up.
(dishes clatter)
- It's all right, it's
just the dishwasher.
(eerie music)
- [Fungus] What's been
going on here, then?
- Suspended from school.
Vandalized the bust of the school founder.
Headmaster's given him a final warning,
but it just goes in one
ear and out the other.
Why don't you try and knock some sense
into that thick, green head of his.
- Oh, listen to your mother.
- Is that it?
- [Mould] I'm going to my room.
- Mould!
(Fungus sniffing)
Well maybe this will make
you take some interest
in your son's upbringing.
Found these under his
mattress this morning.
(Fungus gasps)
- Oh, this is my fault.
- Don't be ridiculous.
- Well, I'm hardly setting
a good example, am I?
It's not surprising he doesn't want to
grow up to be like me.
- What's got into you this week?
- Maybe I should just pack it all in,
and have done with it.
- Don't talk nonsense.
- I got seen again.
Trapped in a cupboard,
just escaped by the scum of my teeth.
- Oh, darkling.
- I just,
I just don't know why
I'm doing it anymore.
(slime burbling)
(birds chirping)
(eerie music)
- [George] The beast of Rutland?
(people chattering)
(phone ringing)
- George!
You in?
- Yes, I work here.
- What are you up to?
- Oh, nothing.
- The beast of Rutland?
- Yes.
- The most exciting story in
the history of the Herald.
No wonder people start
imagining things around here.
- Yeah, yeah.
- 10 to one that's the dodgy face
of Mrs. Marjorie's wolfhound.
- [George] Yes, you're probably right.
- No time for this girls
school gossip chit chat.
- Now that is a lovely tie.
- Marge bought it for me.
- I've always said she
was a woman of taste.
- Perhaps a matter for debate,
but I need somebody to
interview 25 lovely ladies
who are taking part in the finals
of the Miss Rutland
competition this weekend.
Think you can handle it?
- Oh that's my type of job.
- George, there's been an over
spill at Cathry sewage plant.
I want pictures of flooded kitchens
before they bring in the suction trucks.
- Thank you.
(dramatic music)
- Have to do something about Mould.
Have to think of some way
that's going to make him realize
what it's like to be a...
Mould.
Mould.
Come on.
- [Mould] What?
- Time to get up.
- But I don't have to go to school today.
- So we're going on a trip instead.
Up top.
- Up top?
- Sh, sh, sh, so we have
to get an early start.
We've got a long ride ahead of us.
- But I'm not allowed to go up top.
- Shh, come on.
- Yes, but I thought you
weren't talking to Katie.
Since she lost your suede boots
at that dreadful party.
- I wasn't, but I'd rather
spend the night with someone
who lost my suede boots,
than with someone who told my form teacher
that I was actually insane.
- Jessica, I didn't tell
Mrs. Henson you're insane.
I just asked if everything
was all right at school.
That's all.
- And said that I'd been making up stories
about strange animals in the cupboard.
Thanks a bundle, mom.
- Yeah, sorry.
Look Jess, why don't we sit down
and have a proper adult
chat about this, eh?
- Sure, how about Wednesday?
I think I'm free.
That is, of course, if
the men in white coats
don't come and drag me away by then.
- Jess.
- [Jessica] I'll see you later.
- Now, you've got a nice, thick coat,
and a good, damp scarf
to keep the moisture in.
(Mould slurps)
- What are you two up to?
- I'm taking Mould up top.
- What?
- Going to see if he
really thinks it's fun.
Bright lights and flushing lavatories.
At least he'll then know
what he's talking about.
- He's too young to go up top.
It's not safe, it's not legal.
- We've tried talking.
We have to try something else.
- Please.
- You want him to grow
up to be a proper bogey?
Well, I'll show him what it
means to be a proper bogey.
- He could get moonstroke,
he could dry up.
- I won't take any risks.
I'll keep him close by me,
just show him the sights,
and then we'll come back down again.
- If anything happens to this boy--
- [Fungus] Nothing is going to happen.
- If you're not back in eight hours--
- [Fungus] We'd better get going.
- [Mildew] Be careful!
- Bye-bye, Mom.
- [Mildew] Bye my love.
Do everything your father tells you!
- I will.
- [Mildew] Mould.
- [Jessica] Bye!
- [George] Hi, Jessica.
Where are you going?
- Camping with Katie.
- What, at this time of year?
- Yes.
- [George] About that
thing you saw in the--
- The thing I saw?
I thought it was a
figment of my imagination.
- I'm sorry, Jessica.
We weren't very--
- Dad, I've got to go.
- Right.
- [Jessica] Bye!
- Well, Mildew, there's an end
to that nice, cool, clammy spell.
Ooh, where's Mould then?
- He's been suspended.
- Oh, that is a shame.
- But school was rather
wasted on him, wasn't it?
You know, with him being
so fantastically stupid.
Bye-bye, Mom.
- Bye-bye, love.
- Bye-bye Auntie Septic.
- That girl needs a good talking to.
(suspenseful music)
(phone beeping)
(phone ringing)
- Hello?
- Katie, hi it's me.
- Jess, hi, I'm really
sorry about the boots.
I know I shouldn't have.
- It doesn't matter about the boots.
- Really?
- [Jessica] But you owe me, right?
- [Katie] Well yeah, I guess so.
- Good, well if Mom and Dad call,
I'm staying at your place, right?
- Why?
- It's complicated.
(intense music)
(Fungus sniffing)
- I'm up top.
I'm actually up top.
- No, this is just the inside of the barn.
Come on.
(suspenseful music)
(cocoa trickling)
(crow cawing)
- There's no roof.
- Nope.
- Oh, I feel sick.
- Don't worry, you'll get used to it.
- Dad, I really don't think
this is a very good idea.
- Come on, we've got some bogling to do.
(Mould shuddering)
(crickets chirping)
(plucky music)
Come on.
Right, go on.
- What?
What if they come out with
flannels, and knives, and things?
- Then we melt into the
darkness like I told you.
Go on.
- Right.
Okay.
(stick tapping)
Okay?
- Harder.
(stick tapping)
- What was that?
- Oh!
(Fungus chuckling)
- [Man] What was what?
- [Fungus] Come on, Mould eh?
(slime burbling)
- Still, he didn't like
to go to school did he?
So what's he up to then?
Staying at home and doin' his hair?
- I really wish I could tell you.
- Really?
Is that so?
- But I can't, because it's a secret.
- Isn't that a pity?
- Because I think if you
knew where Mould was,
you might just die of jealousy.
- Dad, if I promise to
work really hard at school
and promise not to do anything stupid
that Stench tells me to do,
can we just, oh Dad can we please
just go back down the bogey hole?
- Quick, hide!
Stay there, don't move.
This could be dangerous.
(truck rumbling)
(intense music)
(Fungus screaming)
(tires squealing)
- Wow.
- Come on.
(people snoring)
- Dad!
- What?
- Can I do one?
- All right.
(suspenseful music)
- Honey, you're stealing the duvet again.
(people snoring)
(door creaking)
- That's an airplane, isn't it Dad?
- Mhmm.
There you go, son.
- Thanks.
I think it's great.
You know, up top.
- Well, I wouldn't go that far.
I've had some nasty scrapes up here.
- I mean, everyone says how scary it is,
and how dangerous it is.
But once you've been up here,
and once you've seen it for yourself,
I really think it's a lot of fun.
- Yes, well maybe fun
isn't quite the right word.
- And as for dry cleaners,
you think they're gonna be
some kind of wild beast,
and try tearing you from limb, but--
- Mould.
- What?
- Nothing.
(bell tolling)
It's been really good having you up here.
It's been really good just doing things
together again for a change.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, better finish up and
get some more bogling done.
(Jessica shivering)
(suspenseful music)
Watch carefully.
- How'd you do that?
- Bit of practice, soon have you doin' it.
See a rosy fingered dawn come
up over the snuff dark field.
We'd better get back down
before we get any sun on us.
Oh, look.
- What?
- A dry cleaner's been here.
(Fungus sniffing)
Not very long ago, either.
Ooh, still warm.
One last pice of bogling before we leave.
Slug?
(suspenseful music)
Right, go on.
- [Mould] Dad, so what happens
if you can't get back in time?
- [Fungus] You've gotta find
somewhere dark and damp.
- [Mould] Like a shed?
- [Fungus] Or a swamp,
or a big compost heap.
Make so you don't get burned
up in the sunlight and dry out.
And then you gotta keep
your fingers crossed
and wait 'til night comes.
- You know what, Dad?
- What?
(intense music)
(Mould roaring)
Quickly!
Mould?
Mould!
Mould?
Mould!
Mould!
Mould!
Mould!
(intense music)
- Wait!
Hey!
(Fungus panting)
- Stay calm.
Must stay calm.
Oh it's getting too light now.
I can't keep looking.
Have to hide, ah!
(train rattling)
What to do?
I can't think!
(bell tolling)
(birds chirping)
(rooster crows)
I told him what to do.
Find somewhere dark and damp,
and stay out of the sunlight.
He'll be fine.
Mildew is going to be livid.
(door creaks)
(Mould whimpering)
(door creaks)
(pots clattering)
(Mould screams)
(intense music)
- What on earth?
- [Mould] Don't want to be locked up!
Don't want to be hosed down.
- You can talk?
- [Mould] Light is not
fun, surprises are bad!
- Just stay there, I'll be right back.
Camera.
(suspenseful music)
(rooster crows)
- Pupils from St.
Ethelrods impressed judges
with their music teacher's arrangement
of Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody."
On the recorder, for god's sakes.
(shed thumping)
(plucky music)
(door creaks)
(intense music)
(Mould screams)
(George screams)
(Mould screams)
(George screams)
(intense music)
(bushes rustling)
(camera clicks)
- [Jessica] Ow, hey.
No stop, hey!
Come back!
(Fungus yelling)
Stop!
- Let go!
(wood crashing)
(both yelling)
- Wait!
Relax, stop!
- I have to get out of here, fast!
(Mould panting)
(slime burbling)
- It was the most extraordinary thing.
It was about so high.
I just opened the shed door,
and it was the same as
Jessica saw in the cupboard,
I mean from what she said.
I think this one was quite a lot smaller,
and had these little green
hands with six fingers!
- Listen George, is this
some kind of practical joke
that you and Jessica
have cooked up together?
- No, no, no, this is real!
- [Tom] What's real?
- Nothing, just a little joke
between your mother and I.
- Get dressed, George.
- Yes, I think I will.
(door creaks)
- [Fungus] Pleasant slave am I.
Pictured livid in black slime.
- Dad?
- What?
- [Mucus] Sit down.
- Dad?
- Mould!
- Oh, great bogey be praised.
- We were worried sick!
- So you found your way down, then.
I knew you would.
That's my bogey boy,
- So what happened?
- Mom, Dad?
- [Both] What?
- Look, there's something,
something I have to tell you.
(plucky music)
(Fungus panting)
- Oh no!
We're all going to end up in prison
for letting a dry cleaner into Bogeydom.
- Shh, Dad, quiet!
- Unless it escapes, of course.
And tells the other dry cleaners about us,
and then they call come down here
with their diggers, and
their guns, and their bleach.
Oh no, the whole of Bogeydom destroyed
and all because of me!
- Fungus!
- What?
- It's night.
Most people are asleep.
- Ah, yes.
- Hopefully we can find it
before anyone else does.
Now Mould, Mucus, you go that way.
- Right.
- Yes.
You go that way.
- I'll go this way.
- Right, you go that way,
and um,
I'll go this way.
(pleasant music)
(kids panting)
- How could you be so stupid?
- I'm not stupid.
It grabbed my arm!
Got pulled into the bogey hole.
I could've been captured!
I could've ended up in a laboratory.
- Yeah, and now we're all going
to end up in a laboratory.
Great!
(phone ringing)
- Hello?
- [George] Katie, Katie, hello.
It's George, Jessica's father.
Is Jessica there, please?
- No, well she is, but she's not able
to come to the phone right now.
- Right, well could you tell
her that we'd love to see her,
you know, anytime that
she wants, whenever,
and I'm sorry we had an argument.
- [Katie] Yeah, I'll tell her.
- Obviously if she wants to stay on there,
then that's fine, as long as your mother
doesn't mind having her tent
in the middle of her
lawn for another night.
- Oh I'm sure she won't mind.
- And there's one other thing.
- [Katie] Yeah?
- Can you tell Jessica that I saw it.
- Saw what?
- [George] Just it,
she'll know what I mean.
- Okay, I'll tell her.
- Okay, well thanks very
much, Katie, bye-bye.
Sounds like Jessica's gonna be
staying with Katie for a bit.
- I really put my foot in it
with Mrs. Henderson, didn't it?
- I'm glad she's not coming home.
- That's not nice, Tom.
- Under the circumstances,
I think we all are.
(eerie music)
- Kids.
- Ah!
(eerie music)
- This way!
- [Mildew] Hey!
- [Mould] Mucus!
- [Mucus] There she is.
(intense music)
- Mucus!
- Mould!
- Come on!
(Jessica gasps)
(intense music)
Go on, grab her!
(Mould grunting)
She smells of toothpaste!
- And soap.
- I don't care what she smells of.
- Oh thank goblin.
You found her.
- Yes, we found her.
Where have you, quick!
She mustn't escape!
(plucky music)
- [Fungus] She can't go any further.
Now we've got her.
Careful, Mould.
(stone cracking)
(mud squelching)
- [Jessica] What is this stuff?
Yuck, get me out of here!
- Don't let her shout, someone will hear!
- Maybe we could just leave her in there.
- [Jessica] Help me!
- Say it wasn't anything to do with us.
Then, no one would know we let
a dry cleaner into Bogeydom.
- We let a dry cleaner into Bogeydom?
You mean you let a dry
cleaner into Bogeydom!
- Help me, please help me!
- Shh, look we're gonna
have to get her out.
She might drown!
- I'm sinking!
- Shh!
Look, it's not good to let things drown,
even a dry cleaner.
- Then what?
Can't take her home, can we?
- Do as you would be done by, as they say.
(cop clears throat)
- What's going on here, then?
- Nothing!
- There.
Over there.
Someone fell in and can't swim.
- Well, why aren't any of
you in there helping them?
- We can't swim either.
- That's right.
- Oh, really, right.
Stand back, everything's under control.
- Over here.
I think they fell in just down there.
- Down here?
- Yes, right there.
Go on, go on!
- Yes, go go.
Oh hurry.
He'll soon realize
there's no one over there.
- Hurry, hurry!
Grab the end!
I'll pull you out!
- Just over there.
- Right.
- [Mould] Come on, come
on, come on, come on!
- [Fungus] Just a bit further.
- [Cop] Are you sure you
saw this bogey in here?
- Oh yes, they went ah, pbth, and fell.
- Right.
- [Fungus] Oh bubbles!
Just saw bubbles behind you.
- [Mildew] Fungus, she's out.
- [Mould] Come on, you're coming with us.
- [Cop] Hey, what's going on over there?
- Oh, oh, they've just
got them out, over here.
- Over there?
Well, who's gonna give me a hand out?
- [Fungus] Thank you!
- Excuse me!
- [Jessica] Oh, ugh.
This is disgusting!
- [Mould] What are we gonna do now?
- We'll have to keep her here.
We mustn't let her escape.
- [Jessica] Wait a minute!
- We can't let anyone
know that she's here.
- You can't keep me in here.
- We have to keep you here.
You get out, you'll tell
all the other dry cleaners about us,
and they'll come down and carry us all out
'cause dry cleaners
are dangerous, devious,
and frightening creatures.
- [Fungus] Yes.
- Frightening, me?
You wait 'til my dad hears about this.
- What?
- And the police.
- Police?
- And...
(mud squishing)
Ugh.
How can you live like this?
- I think she's sad.
- Sad would be an understatement.
- Dry cleaners don't get sad.
Too busy shouting and
talking all the time.
Haven't got any space left
in their brains for feelings.
- I don't believe this!
- No, no.
- I really don't.
- Because you make a lot of noise.
- [Jessica] And I'm hungry,
and I'm covered in something
but I don't know what.
- Fungus!
- [Jessica] And you're surprised
that I'm making a lot of noise?
- We're done for, aren't we?
We can't keep her here,
and we can't let her go.
Oh!
- I need a bath.
- And clean water?
- Yes, with soap.
And I need something to eat.
- Oh, we've got some rotten shaddock.
- Rotten what?
- We only eat food if it's
moldy, or if it smells.
- [Mildew] That's right.
- I'm getting out of here.
- [Fungus] What?
What do, what?
(Jessica banging)
- Help!
- Please, please, please, don't, please!
- [Mildew] Be careful!
- Touch me and I'll--
- Please don't shout or else
you'll get us all into trouble.
- Right, that's enough.
Mucus, go and get her
some water to wash in,
and use the sieve to get the lumps out.
Mould, you make this
room a bit less dirty,
seeing as how you're the big fan
of serviettes and underarm deodorant.
And seeing as how you got us
into this mess in the first place.
- It was Dad who took me up top.
- [Mildew] That's why
he's going back up top
to get her some clothes,
and food, and soap.
Maybe that way we can stop
her shouting quite so much.
- I'm not running an errand
for some stupid dry cleaner.
- No?
- I don't wanna fill our
house with the smell of gel,
and chocolate cake.
- Right, then you look after her,
and stop her making a racket.
I'll go find a nice hole to lie in
until you've sorted everything out.
- But, but darkling!
(TV blaring)
- [Narrator] The monkey's
natural habitat--
- Dad!
- Shh.
Hello, love.
- Jessica's still at Katie's, then?
Has she called?
- No, she hasn't.
- Well, if she stays away
long she must have called out.
Have you eaten that entire bag?
- Now, you make sure the dry cleaner
stays exactly where she is.
- All right, okay.
- Don't let her polish anything,
don't talk to her, don't let anyone
see her through the windows.
Oh, and most important,
don't answer the door
to anyone, especially Septic.
- I'm not stupid!
- I'm not even answering that.
Oh, and remember, lock the door
after we've gone.
- Oh, and remember, lock
the door after we've gone.
- [Mildew] I heard that!
(Mould sighs)
(Mould slurping)
(doors rattling)
- You have to help me get out of here.
- Can't!
- Well at least you're talking to me now.
- No I'm not.
- [Jessica] Why won't you let me go?
- Because you'll tell everyone about us.
- Okay, I promise not to tell anyone.
- Can't trust you.
- [Jessica] Why not?
- Because you're a dry cleaner.
- A dry cleaner?
- You can't trust dry cleaners.
Because they turn forests
into business parks,
and kill everyone with
selfish to missiles.
- If you don't let me go,
I'll smash the window.
- I'm coming!
Stay there.
(Mould panting)
- Well if you won't let me go,
at least can you tell me where I am?
- You're in Bogeydom.
- And this is like,
underneath our village?
- It's under everything.
- What, the whole of Rutland?
- Look.
And Canada, and Venezuela,
and England, and Belgium, and India.
- Wow!
- And we're here.
- [Jessica] Amazing.
- Except, there are no
bogey holes in India,
'cause it's too hot for bogeys.
- Bogey holes?
- But I'm not meant to
be telling you all this.
- You even have like newspapers?
- And shops, and
bicycles, and festeraunts,
and smellevision.
- Smellevision?
Oh, oh turn it off!
(Mould sniffs)
- Sweet smell of cow pies.
- Ugh.
It's like a whole world underground.
- A whole boring world
underground, big deal!
- But it is!
- You would think that,
because you're stupid
and you're a dry cleaner,
and you don't know about it.
- You're horrible.
You know that, don't you?
- Really?
I'm horrible?
- Yes, I think we can say
that with some certainty.
- Thanks.
- It's not meant to be a compliment.
- I'm horrible!
I scared a dry cleaner!
I'm horrible!
(Mould roars)
- I'm not scared, I just don't like you.
That is an entirely different thing.
- Is it?
(Jessica sighs)
- I'm so tired.
(plucky music)
(gentle music)
- Look at him.
Do you remember when you
used to sleep like that?
- I still do.
- No you don't, snore
like a rhinoceros now.
- Well.
- There.
- What?
- Jessica?
- She's at Katie's.
(suspenseful music)
- [Fungus] Hasn't even started to rot.
Oh geez, yuck.
- Well, I definitely heard something.
- [George] Well maybe there's a burglar.
- [Jane] Don't be silly, George.
- Oh dear, hard to tell if this room's
been ransacked by burglars or not.
(Fungus thuds)
(mustard spurting)
- It's downstairs.
- It's in the kitchen.
- Yeah, right, well you first.
- Well, maybe we should call the police.
- Oh great, and you want a
job in the big city, do you?
Investigating murders, bank
robberies, and factory fires.
Back me up, George.
- Are you sure you should?
(suspenseful music)
(Fungus slurping)
No one here.
- Honestly.
All this talk of bogeyman
starts to sound a bit doo lolly.
Off to bed, George.
- Yeah, I'll be up in a bit.
- [Jane] It was probably the mice.
Check the traps, George!
(plucky music)
(door creaks)
(eerie music)
(camera clicks)
(Mildew sighs)
- Thank creatures for that.
She's still here.
- Yeah.
(bogey humming)
- [Mildew] And what are you doing?
- I was just,
just making sure she
didn't escape or anything.
- [Mildew] Well you can come
and help me unpack the shopping
so we can lock the door again.
If that creature gets out
of here during the day,
we'll all be hung out to dry.
(bogey gasps)
(intense music)
- Mom!
(plucky music)
- Leave the world to sunlights,
and to oh, what's that smell?
- Oh, Gunge.
- Fungus.
What is that smell?
- Smell?
- Yeah.
Is it detergent, floor polish?
- Oh that!
A bit embarrassing, actually.
I was trying to block someone's toilet,
when the cabinet fell
off the bathroom wall,
and I got covered in
toothpaste, and shaving foam,
and antiseptic cream.
I can't wait to get home and massage
some good dirt and grime back in.
- Right.
- [Mould] Still asleep.
- Is the dry cleaner still--
- [Mildew] Sleeping.
- Oh good.
- Oh, what's that smell?
- Oh it's mustard and cleansing milk.
- Yuck!
- Stuff for the dry cleaner.
- I'll take it in for when she wakes up.
- I'll take it in for when she wakes up.
- Mildew can be very foolish sometimes,
but keeping a dry cleaner down here?
- I know what a dry cleaner looks like.
- I know you don't like Mould.
I quite understand that,
but he's perfectly capable of
getting into trouble enough
on his own without any help from you.
- [Bogey] Hello, Dad.
- Hello, love.
Good night's work?
- They're up to something next door.
- What?
- Met Fungus cycling back.
Had a pink wooly glove in his bag.
- A pink wooly glove?
- A clean, dry cleaner pink wooly glove.
(bogeys gasping)
- I'm telling you, it
was in here last night.
That was the noise you heard.
- Look, George, it is 7:30 in the morning.
I could really do without this.
- Unless there's two of them.
The one in the shed, and the one in here.
I guess that's a possibility.
- George, please?
- [George] What?
- Okay, maybe there was
something in the shed.
Maybe there was even something
in the kitchen last night, I don't know.
Like a cat, or a deer, or a sheep--
- Sheep don't eat mustard.
- Mr. Fletcher forgot
to take his medication
and thinks he's on the run from the FBI.
I really don't know, but that
is no reason for a grown man
to be wandering around in
the middle of the night
following trails of mustard.
George, where's my mackerel?
(eerie music)
- What are you doing?
- [Mould] Food, for you.
- Is this some kind of joke?
- No, these are for you too.
- Why are you giving me all this stuff?
- So you don't complain
and make a lot of noise,
because if you make a lot of
noise, other bogeys will hear.
And then we'll be in huge trouble.
- How did you get all this stuff?
- Dad went up to your house.
- To my house?
- We do it all the time.
- [Jessica] Do what?
- Go into people's houses.
- Why?
- To pull their bedclothes
off, or curdle the milk,
or leave snail tracks all
over the kitchen floors.
- But why?
- It's just what we do.
(plucky music)
- I just don't feel good
about getting her into trouble like that.
If a bogey was found keepin' a dry cleaner
down here in Bogeydom, well?
I don't know what would happen.
I've never heard of anyone
doin' anything like it.
- That's her problem.
You play with fire, you dry out.
Doesn't matter who you are.
You, me, Mildew, Fungus.
You can't escape the long
green arm of the law.
Come on, son.
- Where are we going, Dad?
- Police station.
- Bye, Mom!
- Oh.
(plucky music)
(eerie music)
(camera beeping)
- Jean Fitzpatrick.
- Hello Jean, it's
Jessica's father George.
Sorry to bother you.
No need to drag Jessica to the phone.
Probably still asleep in
the middle of your lawn.
Girls talk 'til two a.m.,
fresh air, that sort of thing.
I just wondered if you could tell her
I got a picture of the smaller one.
If there are two.
I wasn't able to tell from the photograph.
Anyway, she ought to give me
a call as soon as possible.
- Okay.
- Thanks very much, brilliant.
- So why do dry cleaners do what they do?
- Well that depends on what we do.
My dad works for a newspaper.
- That's where you find about wars
and killing people, isn't it?
- Well, it's a local newspaper,
so it's more who's won the
interpub dance championship.
- Our teacher said dry cleaners
don't like mud and trees,
so they put traffic lights everywhere
and fill everything with cash machines,
and then they feel much better.
- Well that's one way of looking at it.
- And that's why you must
never find out about Bogeydom,
because,
because they'd wipe us all out, all of us!
- Or turn you into a theme park.
- Oh, I forgot.
(Mould giggles)
Here you go.
- Great, home design is
really on the top of my agenda
at this precise moment.
Sorry.
Hey Mallorca, we went there last summer.
Dad got food poisoning,
and the toilets overflowed.
You could smell the drains all the time.
- Sounds all right.
What?
- Thanks.
- No problem.
(plucky music)
(phone ringing)
- What is that?
- Oh it's nothing.
- You wouldn't be sitting
on a nice little story
you're not gonna share with
your best mate Tony, would you?
- It's something so trivial and tedious
that I'd be embarrassed
to even tell you about it.
- Anything new on the rugby club brawl?
- You know what?
- What?
- I'm starting to have
serious doubts about that tie.
- Quite honest, I'm not
entirely sure of it myself.
- I'd lay off the pies as
well if I were you, sir.
Don't wait up, lovelies.
- I do hope this is not
some wild moose chase
you're leading me on, sir.
- Oh, just you wait until
you see inside their house.
Oh you'll change your tune, oh yes.
- Can't keep on like this.
Thinking the dry cleaners
are looking for her.
You having to go and get
her food every night.
Never able to have visitors.
Oh, how long is it going to be
before someone finds out?
(knocking)
- Mildew?
(Mildew gasps)
- Don't say anything.
- [Bogey] We know you're in there, Fungus.
- Just be quiet, they'll get
bored and go away in a minute.
- [Bogey] Could you
open this door, please?
(Mildew whimpers)
- Who's that?
- [Bogey] It's the police.
(tray clatters)
(ominous music)
- That's not good, is it?
(knocking)
- [Cop] Come on, come on, open up.
- I've got an idea, come on.
- [Mildew] I sincerely hope it's better
than your other ideas.
- Just help me push the cupboard.
Mucus, make sure nothing falls off.
One, two, three!
(cupboard scraping)
Come on, one, two, three!
One, two, three!
- What's going on?
- Dad's locking us in.
(intense music)
- Looks like there's no one in.
- They're just not answering the door.
Obviously they don't want us to know
that they've got a dry cleaner--
- I have got better
things to do with my time
than to waste it here with you.
- Officer!
- Sorry, didn't hear you knocking.
I was upstairs putting some--
- That's quite all right, madam.
Sorry about this.
- You two stay here.
This could be dangerous.
- But--
- No buts.
- Oh!
- How could you?
Keeping a dry cleaner down here?
Ashamed to think that you're my sister.
- Feeling's entirely
mutual, I can tell ya.
- Oh!
Oh!
- So, apparently you have
a dry cleaner in the house?
- A dry cleaner?
That's ridiculous.
- Quite.
Just have to check.
Got to keep him happy.
Got a few screws loose, I reckon.
Just be a couple of minutes.
- Oh yes, of course.
- I'll start upstairs.
- Was this your idea?
- Grot saw it through the window.
- Saw what?
- [Cop] Any dry cleaners up here?
- I know your Septic's sister, Mildew,
and I know that blood
is thicker than snot,
but great love hath no bogey
than he'd give up his neighbor
for the greater good of Bogeydom.
- [Cop] How about in here?
- Ah, oh this is it.
I've wrecked everything.
It's all my fault, isn't it?
- We still love you, Dad.
- Aw.
- Even if you do do some
stupid things sometimes.
- Nothin' up there.
Looks like your son has rather
an overactive imagination.
Sorry about that.
- Hey, wait a minute.
Where's your living room gone?
- Sorry?
- Mucus?
There used to be a door there.
- Did there?
Oh, yes.
We decided to move things round a bit.
- Oh yes, yes, move things round.
- Did you now?
Officer?
- Oh, sorry about this madam.
If you could just stand aside, thank you.
(cupboard scraping)
(bogeys grunting)
Oh, now what have we here?
- Looking a little pale, Fungus.
Are you all right?
- Oh yes, I'm fine.
Absolutely fine.
- Is everybody watching?
- Oh, just get on with it.
(suspenseful music)
- It's empty!
- I had noticed.
- I feel faint.
- Thank bogey for that.
- [Cop] I think you've
got some explaining to do.
- It's in there somewhere.
I feel it in my slime.
- Where is she?
Where is Mould?
What's happened to them?
- Perhaps she's escaped.
- I don't know.
I don't care.
To relieved to think.
I'm just glad I've not been
taken away in handcuffs.
- She's got him.
She's captured him and taken him away!
- You do realize that it is an
offense to waste police time?
Not to mention, slandering your neighbors.
- I'm a fine upstanding bogey, I am.
Never broken a law in my life.
Hope I never do.
- [Mildew] What are you doing?
- Come on, we've gotta get out of here!
- Letting that disgusting fresh air in!
- Right, I've had enough
of this, please leave.
- [Grot] Oh something!
Mom!
- No, go.
- But you--
- Go.
- Go, go on.
Leave.
(Fungus chuckles)
(Fungus sighs)
- Have you arrested 'em?
- For what?
- For keeping a dry cleaner in
the house, you stupid bogey.
- Septic.
- I don't know why I bother.
Ruin a nice, quiet day.
- Oh right, trust you?
Seeing as you're the one
that got us into this mess in the first--
- Barking, completely barking mad.
The lot of them.
- Come on, quick!
- Keepin' a dry cleaner in
their house, preposterous idea.
- You're the one that
saw that pink wooly glove
in his bogey bag.
- I said they were up to something.
That was all.
(suspenseful music)
- Hey, I saw the dry
cleaner, look, I saw it!
- You see anything else, young bogey,
and you're sleeping in the dry.
Now in.
(plucky music)
- Right then George, what's your game?
George White.
Forget his own head if it wasn't for me.
(ominous music)
Good golly.
What on earth?
- And the band's up on stage,
and there are these really
bright strobe lights,
and if you're down in the
front near the speakers,
the music's so loud, it hurts your ears.
- Amazing!
Come on, we've gotta keep going, Jessica!
- [Jessica] Are they dead?
- Oh no, they'll be asleep.
- Oh.
- Sometimes bogeys just lie in a hole
and go to sleep for a whole year.
Come on, this way.
(gentle music)
- So where do they lead to?
- Look.
Well?
That one over there, that leads
to another part of Bogeydom.
And that one next to it,
that leads to France,
which is a long way away from here.
And the one over there, well that leads
to near where you live.
Except you've got to
remember, in the tunnels,
there's lots of junctions,
and you have to know which one to take.
- Right.
Let's go do some more exploring.
- Well, as long as you
promise not to run, though.
(plucky music)
- Well?
- I can't find them anywhere.
- Well my guess is that
Mould has done something
really, really brainless.
- Mucus!
- Just step through and watch.
- Hello there.
- Hello.
- Hello.
(both chuckling)
- We were on this rooftop,
looking at the stars.
They're amazing.
Made me feel a bit dizzy
thinking how far they were away.
And this lorry came down the road,
had these bright lights on it.
Hurt my eyes, but it was exciting too.
Dad scared the driver.
It was well good.
- Actually, I quite like the dark.
Sometimes late at night, my friend Katie
comes into our garden, and she
throws stones at my window,
and I slip out of the house,
and we go for walks together.
(gentle piano music)
Mould?
- What?
- I just wanted to say, sorry.
- What for?
- I like you.
- I like you too.
- We're not all bad, you know.
- I know.
- You will remember that, won't you?
- Yeah, but what do you mean, remember?
- Nothing.
I was just...
- Maybe, maybe that's why bogeymen
go up top to scare dry cleaners.
Because they get bored of being
stuck down here all the time,
and maybe that's why dry cleaners
tell stories about bogeymen.
Because they think it's exciting
to imagine there's another
place, another world
that isn't all clean and bright and noisy.
And that's why it's fun having you here.
Showing you everything.
Which you think is exciting,
which makes me think it's exciting too.
Like I haven't looked at it
before, not really looked at it.
Jessica?
(ominous music)
Jessica!
(Mould sighs)
The map, oh no.
(birds chirping)
- [Man] What the blazes
are you doing in here?
- Ah, George White, Rutland Herald.
- Oh, that rag.
- Just following up a lead.
- [Man] What, in my barn?
Fooling around by my barn?
- [George] Yes, it's gotta be here.
- [Man] Well in that case,
if you wouldn't mind--
- Oh yes, I'm sorry.
I didn't want to interrupt your farming.
- Yeah, well next time you can ask.
- Absolutely, well done.
A jolly good idea, will do.
(suspenseful music)
Oh no, yuck.
A slug?
Ugh, Jessica?
What are you doing here?
I thought you were at Katie's.
- Katie's, no, I mean yes.
- What have you been doing?
You're covered in muck.
- Yeah--
- Listen, I saw one.
One of those things that
you saw in the cupboard?
It was in the shed, and
it ran at me like that,
and then there was something
in the house the other night.
It was in the kitchen,
and it raided the fridge,
and I found my camera and, what?
- Can we just drop it for now?
- Sorry, you okay though?
- Yeah, I'm fine.
A bit tired, but I'm all right.
- Let's get you home and a warm bath.
It's a little bit out of focus.
(intense music)
- Mould?
- What happened?
- I've done something really stupid.
- Told you!
- [Fungus] Well, maybe she'll
get lost in the tunnels.
- Uh.
- Uh, what?
- [Mould] I uh--
- Did something really stupid?
- I gave her the map.
- I'm not even gonna
ask how that happened.
- Maybe we can catch her
before she tells anyone,
get the map back, and
bring her back down again.
- [Mildew] And if she has told them?
(ominous music)
- Then we'll have to tell the police.
- Tell the police?
- They can block up the bogey hole.
Either way, we won't get out of the soap
by standing here talking about it.
Too light up there at the moment.
We'll have to go first thing.
- I'll set the alarm.
- Mucus.
- Oh, yes.
I'll come with you.
- Looks like we're going
back up top, young bogey.
- Okay.
- [Jessica] I just, I can't tell you.
- Look, okay you know,
you say you've seen some
creature in the kitchen,
and then you say that you're
going camping with Katie,
and you come back utterly
exhausted, covered in mud,
and you refuse to say what's going on.
I mean, we are not trying
to interrogate you, love.
We're just really worried.
- You have to promise not to tell anyone.
- Well, you know us.
- I mean it!
This is serious, you have to promise.
- Well, okay.
- Yes, okay we promise.
- Dad was right.
There was something in the shed.
There was something in the kitchen,
and it wasn't an animal,
but it wasn't a human.
- I beg your pardon?
- I've been underground.
I mean, really underground,
hundreds of feet down
at the bottom of these,
these tunnels.
That's where they come from and they--
- What's happening?
- Oh.
- Right, we're just having a little chat
with your sister on her
own, if that's okay.
Come on, little soldier.
Okay, you can watch a little bit of telly.
- But I've already
watched television today,
and you said--
- You can watch a bit more, can't you?
As long as it's educational.
Shark program?
- The shark program's scary.
- Chimpanzees?
- Okay.
- And they have shops, and houses,
and canals, and bridges,
and television, and newspaper, and radios.
- Jessica, I don't want to upset you
by saying that you're lying, or anything,
even though you've obviously
had a very upsetting experience
whatever it was, and you know--
- Perhaps we'd better
talk about this later, hm?
- I'm so exhausted.
- Oh, love.
Come on, let's get you up to bed eh?
Into the bath, have a nice sleep.
(emotional music)
- Might not have got out, of course.
Lots of tunnels.
Probably got lost.
What if she did get out?
Might have told the dry cleaners already.
They might be up there, waiting,
with hoses and soap and guns!
Oh, drowsy numbness pains my senses
if a horrible clean water--
- Fungus.
- What?
- [Mildew] Go to sleep!
(Fungus groans)
(steam hissing)
- Hey love.
Listen, do you want something to eat?
I could probably rush you
up some scrambled eggs,
or a ham sandwich or something?
- [Jessica] No, it's okay.
I'll just have some leftovers.
- Sure?
- Yep.
- Oh not that, it's been in there ages.
I should've thrown it out.
- No, this looks great.
- You okay, love?
Mind your back.
- Yes, Jessica's up.
- [George] Oh is she feeling better?
- Not entirely sure.
- [George] Sleeping in the day
always makes me feel awful.
- Where are you off to?
- Just doing a little story for Patterson.
- At this time?
It's nothing to do with
that bogey nonsense, is it?
- No, no, no, no, no, no, badgers.
- Badgers?
- Friendly natures, they're nocturnal.
Could be quite a long night.
- Well, I won't wait up then.
(Jane yelping)
George!
(suspenseful music)
- It's okay, there's no one around.
Come on.
- [Mould] Dad?
I'm really sorry about this, Dad.
- [Fungus] Mould.
- It's my fault!
If I hadn't been scared and
run off and gotten lost,
we wouldn't be in all
this trouble, would we?
- Yes, but I shouldn't
have brought you up top.
- I know, but--
- Mould,
we're in this together,
and we'll get out of it together.
(plucky music)
(rock taps)
- Katie?
(rock taps)
- You won't even know I'm there mister?
- Tompkins.
- Tompkins.
- Well if there's some creature around,
I'd best go check the animals.
- Excellent idea.
- You do know that's a
listed building, don't you?
- Is it?
Oh thanks, that's great.
Bit of history, lovely.
(suspenseful music)
Hello, Tony.
Just calling from my office
at The New York Times.
How is everything at the
Manchester Evening Chronicle?
(birds chirping)
(suspenseful music)
(Tony yelling)
- You stabbed me!
With a fork!
- Well what are you doing hiding in a barn
in the middle of the night?
- What are you doing
wandering around a barn
in the middle o the night with a fork?
- Katie?
(frogs croaking)
Katie.
Katie.
- Psst, Jessica!
It's us.
Me and Dad.
- [Jessica] What do you want?
Don't do anything.
- Listen, we have to find out
whether you've told any
other dry cleaners about us.
We have to get the map back.
- I couldn't stay down
there, I had to escape.
- Sh, please don't shout,
otherwise we'll get caught.
- I haven't told anyone.
- She could be lying.
- How do we know you're not lying?
- I mean, I told Mom and Dad.
- Oh no!
She told her--
- But it's okay, because
they didn't believe me.
- We'll have to take her back down.
- Now hold on a minute.
- Right, you go that way--
- No!
I'm telling the truth.
- Yeah, but you're a dry cleaner--
- [Jane] Jessica?
- What?
Don't!
- Come back!
- Wait for me.
Under my window.
(dog barking)
- Right, we're gonna wait
'til the middle of the night
to go in and grab her,
and get the map back.
- Look, Dad, I think
she's telling the truth.
- Mould.
(bell tolling)
- Dad, wait!
Listen.
- To what?
- Exactly.
If they're after us,
there'd be dry cleaners
everywhere, wouldn't they?
Mops, microphones, floodlights?
- All right, all right.
But what exactly are
we going to do about...
The map?
(emotional music)
You know, I don't think your
mother was any keener than me
on the thought of
spending the next 50 years
hiding a dry cleaner in the house.
(both chuckle)
I'm gonna tell the police
that I've seen some dry cleaners
poking around the bogey hole.
They'll seal it up, then that'll be it.
Then again, maybe not.
- Take one look at this--
- What?
- I think they believed her.
Sh sh sh sh sh.
(frogs croaking)
(emotional music)
- So where's Dad got to then?
- Something about a nature reserve.
Badgers, apparently.
- Badgers?
Oh no!
Oh no!
(plucky music)
- Jessica, what's the matter?
- I'll see you later.
- What, where are you going?
- [Jessica] Out.
- [Tom] Mom, Mom?
(camera clicking)
- Good, eh?
- Well it's still my story.
- This used to be your story, George.
Then, you assaulted me with a garden tool.
Generously sharing the
credit with me on this
is the least you can do in
the circumstances, so spill.
If it's particularly good,
I might let you have
some of my hot chocolate.
- Right.
You stay here, I'll scare them,
they'll run away,
and then we'll head for the bogey hole.
- Okay.
- Right.
Let's screw my courage
to the sticky place.
- [Tony] That's why you
need a professional, George.
- We both work at the
same newspaper, Tony!
- Ah ah, used to work at
the same newspaper, George.
See, one silly little mistake
and this story could slip
through your fingers.
That's why you need someone
who's been at the sharp end, George.
You need someone who can keep their cool
when the going gets tough.
You need someone who can go--
(Tony screams)
(equipment clattering)
- Sh!
(camera clicking)
- [George] I got him!
(George groans)
- Come on, stay out of sight.
I couldn't scare them.
He tried to grab my leg.
Oh, we're going to have to hide.
- [Tony] Has it gone?
- [George] It's gone.
- What on earth was...
- You promised you wouldn't tell anyone.
- What are you doing here?
Oh wait a minute, no I didn't tell anyone.
He got a map out of my--
- We've just seen the
most incredible thing.
A monster, creature thing.
- What happened?
- We nearly caught it.
- What?
- We?
- Yeah, but it managed to get away.
- Where did it go?
- I dunno, it just rushed off
into the darkness somewhere.
- Oh no.
- But George says that if
they've gotta get underground
they have to come back
to the barn somewhere,
so if we linger here, or hereabouts,
then it might just,
is there something you're
not telling me about?
- I hate you.
- Right, let's just,
let's just calm down and
look at this rationally.
- I hate you.
- Yes, you said.
Thanks a bunch, Tony.
I'll be back.
Jessica, wait.
Wait, please sweetie?
(suspenseful music)
(equipment clatters)
Jessica, please.
- [Jessica] You lied to me.
- I did not lie to you, Jessica.
I did not, I'm sorry.
I should've told you what I was doing.
I just wanted to get a photograph.
Tony was a mistake, he just
barged in like he usually does.
- All right, a photograph.
Then everyone will see it,
and it'll be in the papers,
and they'll come and dig down underground
and kill them all, and put them in zoos,
and it'll be my fault because I told you.
- But I'm a journalist,
Jessica, it's what I do!
This'll be the biggest story
I've ever written in my entire life.
This'll make my name.
I could get a job in London!
- We don't want to go to London!
We like living here.
If you tell everyone
where that bogey hole is,
you can go to London on your own,
but we're staying here.
- Jessica.
- I love you, Dad.
I love you, because you're nice,
and you're kind, and you're funny.
Because you don't go
around hurting people,
but this isn't nice, or kind, or funny.
This is really nasty.
- Wait, wait, wait.
- I'm serious.
What's more important to you,
me and Mom and Tom,
or getting a better job?
- It's not a choice between--
- But it is a choice, 'cause
if this gets into the papers
then people will die.
- Well, people is a
bit of an exaggeration.
- They have names!
They have children, they talk,
they have gardens, they read books,
they have radios, they have televisions.
They have newspapers,
and do you know what they say about us?
- [George] What?
- That we spend our whole
time chopping down forests,
or building motorways,
or killing one another,
or wiping whole species of animal
off the face of the earth.
And they're pretty much
right, aren't they?
We are dangerous.
Which is why we never see them.
Because they're not.
And they know that if we ever,
ever found out about
them, that would be it.
They'd be wiped out, like that.
(emotional music)
You see, it is a choice.
I like you being my dad, I really do,
but if you do something
where you know people
are gonna end up being killed,
you're not my dad anymore.
You work it out.
(emotional music)
(George sighs)
- What's that?
- It was in the back of the car.
- Because?
- If you fail to plan,
you plan to fail, George.
I intend to catch one of these things
if it's the last thing I do.
And call me squeamish, but if
we're gonna be manhandling it,
I'd rather it was wrapped up.
I mean, that thing did not look hygienic.
Hold that.
- Yes, well I'm sorry
to ring so late really.
She's back, yes so sorry,
thank you very much.
- Don't even, I'm going to bed.
- Jessica, I'm honestly worried,
I've been worried sick, Jess!
- I think you're a really good bogey.
- You're just trying
to make me feel better.
- No, you brought me up
top and it was great.
And bogling together was
the best fun I've ever had,
and you never lie.
And you never shout at me like Mom.
You don't show off like Gunge.
- Mould, it's really rancid of you
to say those things, but--
- You were right.
- About what?
- About surprises and
deodorant, and headlights.
I mean, it's nice in here,
but out there.
- There's nothing like being
stuck up top to make you,
make you realize how good home is.
- When I get back down,
I'm gonna work really hard in school so,
so I can become a proper bogey like you.
- Well, in which case we'd
better keep our heads down.
Best get some sleep, eh?
- Okay.
(both gasping)
(water burbling)
(gentle music)
(owl hoots)
- And he dove down behind
the giant cereal bowl
to hide himself from
the gamma ray cannons.
Pew pew!
- [Jane] Where's Jessica?
- She got up and went out.
Has she run away to Katie's again?
- Going to Katie's is not running away.
Did she actually say
she's going to Katie's?
- She never tells me anything.
- Morning.
- Hello, Dad.
- Honestly, where have you been?
I've been really worried, boots.
- Sorry, the badgers
got a bit out of hand.
- Listen George, about these badgers--
- I'll tell you all about it later,
but right now I just need
some seriously strong coffee.
- But he puts his head up
above the giant cereal bowl
to see where they're firing,
and the gamma ray cannon hits
him in the head, badoosh!
(gentle music)
- Mould?
(crows cawing)
(wings flapping)
- [Mildew] Have to tell someone.
- Maybe if we leave it just a little.
- Can't leave it.
What if they've been caught?
Don't want to waste time
sitting around here waiting.
Have to do something, now.
- But soon as you tell the police--
- [Mildew] Wasn't thinking
of telling the police.
- Oh no.
You can't!
(door creaks)
- And I know we haven't
always seen eye to eye,
especially over the past few days,
and you know I wouldn't ask for help
if it wasn't an emergency,
but they're in trouble, I know they are.
- If you think we're going to help you,
after you made us look like fools
in front of that policeman, oh no.
If you make your bed all dry and crispy--
- But Septic--
- You have to lie in it.
- Now wait a minute.
- You're not going to help them?
- A bogey in need is a bogey indeed.
Whatever Fungus might have done,
don't want it being said
that we refused help when we were asked.
Want it being said that we
were generous, and kind.
Besides, I'm going up top
in the morning anyway.
Sure it won't take me much
out of me way to find them,
and bring them back down.
- Thank you, Gunge.
I'm very grateful.
- You'd better be.
(birds chirping)
(bell tolling)
(men chattering)
(Jessica sniffs)
- Mould?
Fungus?
Are you in there?
(mud burbles)
You are in there.
Listen, I'm really sorry about my dad.
It's a long story.
Look, I'm going to help you.
(mud burbling)
I'll come back tonight, I'll
do something, I promise.
- What are you up to, young lady?
- Nothing, I was just
looking at the manure spreader.
It's amazing, how does it work?
- Are you really interested?
- Yeah, cranes, combine harvesters,
helicopters, I love all that stuff.
- Well, you run the whole
thing from this lever here.
And that's fixed up to your PTO
and that'll send your
spindle moving around.
(device beeping)
- I'm just gonna pop
home for a little bit.
I'll be back in a minute.
- Yeah.
Pot of coffee'd be nice.
And some doughnuts!
(device beeping)
- If you're bored of your job,
you should write the novel.
Or learn how to do rock climbing,
or take flying lessons,
or something like--
- Look, you're not listening to me.
- What?
- I'm gonna help you.
- Really?
- Yes, but Tony isn't.
- Tony's an idiot.
- I think we're all in agreement on that.
- So?
- Well so it shouldn't be too hard
for us to deal with an idiot, should it?
Anyway, I'd better get back to that barn.
We don't want him there on
his own if they do appear.
- They can't go anywhere in daylight.
- What, so I don't have to
go back 'til it gets dark?
- Nope.
- Well, okay.
Right, let's see if he can survive
the whole day without doughnuts, shall we?
(plucky music)
- Let's see if I can save that
idiot brother-in-law of ours.
(both slurping)
- And Jake said that a
shark ate an alligator,
but I said--
- It's not a race, Jessica.
- And he said that there
were saltwater alligators--
- Where are you going now?
- [Jessica] I'll be back later.
- But I said that was only in the Amazon--
- I'll go see what she's up to.
- The Amazon.
- George?
- Where's everybody gone?
- I don't know, Tom.
(crickets chirping)
- Ready?
- Ready.
Five minutes.
- Five minutes.
(suspenseful music)
- Mould?
Mould?
(Tony grunting)
- Come back here you!
Ah, stink!
- Oh no.
- George!
- Please no.
- George, stand still, ow!
- Jessica!
Sh, had to make sure you came on your own.
- So who's that then?
- Oh dear.
- That's Gunge.
- Who's Gunge?
- Mom's brother-in-law.
Lives next door to us.
It's all right, 'cause we don't like him.
- This is all going so wrong.
- I really should've
stayed in bed this month.
- I've got an idea, come on.
(plucky music)
- [Tony] George, George!
- Tony, I saw one of them by the bog.
- Got one here, come and help me.
Don't just stand there like a lemon!
(Tony grunting)
- Careful, you don't wanna hurt him.
- Hurt it!
Whose side are you on?
You gonna help me or not?
(engine roaring)
- That must be old Tompkins working late.
- Be a sight more use than you.
Come on.
Ride it, sonny.
- Be careful of him!
(engine roaring)
Jessica?
- [Tony] Oh no!
(both sputtering)
- Jessica!
- What?
What's the matter?
- Come on, come on, come on!
- We can't leave Gunge here.
I've got to save him.
- Yuck, yuck!
(Fungus roars)
- Come on, Gunge.
Come on.
- Wait, George, we can still get it.
- Sorry about that, Tony.
- What's happening here?
- Never mind just keep moving.
- I'm meant to be saving you!
- What's going on out here?
(Tony yelps)
Eh, what's going on?
- Down the hole, quick!
- What's this dry cleaner doing here?
It's seen the bogey hole!
It's seen us!
We've gotta, oh!
- Sorry, Gunge.
Come on, there's no time, we have to go.
Bye.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
- Goodbye.
- Bye-bye.
- Jessica.
Did they all get away then?
- Yeah, thanks.
- I didn't do that much.
- You were great.
I mean, I know how important it was to you
to get a job at a proper paper.
- Oh, I reckon there's been
enough excitement around here lately.
Where's that hole then?
- You don't seriously think
I'm going to tell you where--
- I think we'd better get out of here.
- Costs.
- You don't suppose I showered myself
in this stuff on purpose, do you?
- So you're telling me these
three lizards came out--
- It's bogeymen!
- [Jane] I see, thank you
so much for letting us know.
- Mom!
- Yes.
- Mom!
- Yes.
- Jessica's coming with a bogeyman!
- Don't worry, it's just us.
(Jane screams)
- Oh, George!
- Don't ask, you don't wanna know.
- Just, just stay there!
- You smell really, really bad.
- Thanks very much, Tom.
- Feet, feet, George.
On the floor, oh.
Ooh, listen.
That was your beloved editor.
- Oh I hope you told him
to take a running jump.
- [Jane] Well frankly that's
going to be rather difficult.
- What?
- He fell over a golf
flag on the 15th hole,
broke his leg in two places.
- Oh.
- Yes.
Apparently you are now the new
acting editor of the Rutland Herald.
- Wow!
- Wow!
- Wow!
Hey, wow!
(pleasant music)
- Mom, they're back.
- What?
(both chuckling)
My boys!
(all slurping)
Oh, I thought I'd never see you again.
- Never see us again?
Couldn't let that happen.
- You smell wonderful!
(Fungus chuckling)
- Thank you.
- So, what happened?
- Well I think we saved Bogeydom.
Even got your brother-in-law
back down in one piece.
Might have to use another
bogey hole from now on,
but I could do with a change.
- And Mould?
- Couldn't have done it without him.
- I'm so glad to have you home.
- And, do you know what?
- What?
- I can't think of any
other place I'd rather be.
- That's right.
Come on, we'll make a
big pot of cold slime,
and then you can tell us all about it.
(Fungus chuckling)
(Fungus sneezes)
(Mould sneezes)
- And if it wasn't for me,
they'd still be stuck up there now.
(dramatic music)
(gentle music)
- [George] Night, Jess.
Sweet dreams.
(pleasant music)
(Multicom Jingle)