Fugitive Nights: Danger in the Desert (1993) - full transcript

[ENGINE SPUTTERING]

[♪♪♪]

[TIRES SQUEAL]

[ENGINE SPUTTERS, STOPS]

PILOT:
Started sputtering
over the mountains.

Thought I better put her down.
Yeah. Where you heading?

Palm Springs, but I didn't
wanna take a chance.

I'll take a look.

[♪♪♪]

[WHISPERS INDISTINCTLY]

My passenger, he'd like to
use the restroom. Where is it?



It's in that building
over there.

[DISPATCHER CHATTERING
INDISTINCTLY OVER POLICE RADIO]

[GROANING]

SHERIFF:
Hey! Stop him!

[PLANE IGNITION TURNING OVER]

Hey, what do you think
you're doing?

[GROANS]

RHONDA:
What does it make you feel like?

BRITA: Hmm. A cup of coffee.
RHONDA: Coffee? Why?

BRITA:
It makes me think
of every café and truck stop

in this
entire desert valley, heh.

Why in the world
do you say that?

It's all the dots.

In every single
truck stop and café



there's a waitress named Dot.
[CHUCKLES]

More Dots than in that
entire painting, actually.

What else
does it make you feel?

Oh, poor.

I've heard of this artist.

This painting is worth more than
every house I've ever owned

or ever will own,
the way business is going.

How long have you been
a private investigator?

Just long enough to get in
the Palm Springs Yellow Pages.

Mm, that's how I chose you, from
your ad in the yellow pages.

Your ad said you're retired

from the Los Angeles
Police Department.

I expected somebody much--

I jointed the department
when I was 21.

I pulled the pin--
I mean, I retired.

--last June,
after 20 years of service.

I want you to follow
my husband.

A woman problem?
Yes.

Hmm. Well, this is
a no-fault divorce state.

You don't need a PI.

I don't care if my husband
has one mistress or 10,

but he's preparing to have
a child, and I wanna know why.

Okay. How do you know?

My husband and I have
separate checking accounts,

and we respect each other's
privacy in every way.

But the last time
that I was here,

I noticed
a monthly billing statement

from the Beverly Hills
Fertility Institute.

A sperm bank.

I had my physician
make a call,

but all they would say was that
the client list is confidential,

and that the name Clive Devon
is unknown to them.

Tell me, um, do you
and your husband still have--?

He had a cardiac bypass.

Arterial insufficiency allows
him to produce fluid, but sex...

We haven't had sexual contact
for five years,

at least,
not with each other.

So you would like me
to conduct a surveillance.

Find out who, what,
when, why, where.

Just who and why.

Why a child at his age?

And I assume that a sperm bank
involves a surrogate,

otherwise why...

store it?

Fifty dollars an hour charged
against a 1000-dollar retainer

is what I charge
for surveillance work.

When he goes to bed,
I go to bed.

If he should decide to get up
in the middle of the night

and visit his little bake oven,
I won't know about it.

Mrs. Devon, what do you plan
to do with the information?

Oh, you don't
have to worry about that.

Well, if you don't tell me,
I refuse to take the case.

I'd be happy to pay a bonus
for the results.

[SIGHS]

I don't pretend that
my husband and I have a close

or even a normal relationship.

But I have to know.

[CAR ENGINE REVVING]

[♪♪♪]

[BIRD SCREECHES]

[♪♪♪]

[CLEARS THROAT]

[PHONE RINGING]

[CUTTER GROANS]

Hello?
BRITA: Detective Cutter?

Who is this?

Am I disturbing you?

Well, if I gotta get up
and puke anyway,

who the hell is this?

Well, my name's Brita Burrows.

I've recently retired
from LAPD,

and I just opened a PI business
here in Palm Springs.

And I--
Listen, lady--

[BELCHES, RETCHING]

Yes? I'm listening.

[RETCHING, VOMITING]

Detective Cutter?

[COUGHING]

[GROANS]

[SIGHS]

What do you want from me?

I could call back
in a half an hour.

They'll be pulling a sheet
over me by then.

Look, lady, it ain't easy
talking into a tennis shoe.

What in the hell do you want
from me this time of morning?

[SCOFFS]
It's 1:00
in the afternoon.

I have something
I'd like to discuss.

Could I come over?
Save your gas.

Lady, I got a pair of knees
that function like Yugoslavia,

for which I'm about to get
pensioned out of police work.

I ain't about to jeopardize
that moonlighting for a PI.

Oh, I wouldn't jeopardize
your pension.

Now look, I gotta go.
I'm busy housesitting.

You'll feel better
after you have a drink.

[SOFTLY]
Oh, hell.

What have you got to lose?

The Furnace Room in an hour.
You'll love the place.

It's about as cheerful
as Gotham City.

Now, can we get
off the phone now?

This has gone on longer
than a Lebanese civil war.

[SCOFFS]
[LINE CLICKS, THEN DIAL TONE]

[GROANS SOFTLY]

Oh, God.

[SIGHS]

[GROANS SOFTLY]

[SIREN WAILING]

[DISPATCHER CHATTERING
INDISTINCTLY OVER POLICE RADIO]

Now, he was driving
a plumbing truck.

He drove right through
your reservation here.

Somebody must have
seen something.

He assaulted a deputy sheriff.
He put grease on his mouth

and in his nose
to keep them moist.

And he put coins in his mouth.
That makes the thirst less bad.

You saw him?

He knows about the hot sun.
He's a man of the desert.

Bad night, Lyn?

Yeah, Wilfred, bad.

Did I leave here
with somebody?

You're having more blackouts
than London in the Blitz.

Don't you remember?

I got this vague image in my
mind of a blond mustache. Ugh!

Oh, yes, well,
she did have a mustache.

Ugly as all three witches
in Macbeth.

Personally, I'd rather
have ants in my truss.

Nice hair, though.
Rather like Rita Hayworth.

Did I ever tell you I almost
got a speaking role in Gilda?

Are you old enough to remember
the Golden Age of movies?

No. But my liver is.
Maybe my liver remembers.

Can I have a glass
of your best Chardonnay?

And give Mr. Cutter
another of whatever he's having.

Thought you'd be older.

I am.

Somebody must have
set your odometer back.

I imagine
we're about the same age.

Yeah, well,
I just had a check-up,

and I got the stool
of a much younger man.

Lots of Wilfred's clientele
are from showbiz.

Failed actors mostly,
like Wilfred himself.

Mmm.

Claims he doubled
for Ronald Reagan

in Hellcats of The Navy.

Shall I pour, or would my lady
wish to let it breathe a bit?

Just pour it, Wilfred.

CPR couldn't resuscitate
the crap you serve.

Tut-tut.

Feeling any better now?

I'm not quite ready
to do eyelid surgery.

Look, we only got seven
or eight weeks till Easter,

and I gotta
color eggs this year.

Think you'll get to the point
by then?

I need some confidential help

from somebody
at the Palm Springs PD,

some local talent.
Yeah, well, I'm full of talent.

I could probably blow
smoke rings if I still smoked.

Thanks for the drink.

Lyn!

I just came from
your house.

Do I know you?
You better remember me.

Phyllis from last night?

You see that lady there?

That's my wife.
I can't be seen with you.

You said you were single.
You sang to me.

"I Got That Loving Feeling."

God,
I hate that song.

Brita,
wait a minute!

She seems like
she really cares.

Well, she pretends
like she could care less

if I starred in a snuff film
or went to Disneyland,

but really,
she's a great little mother.

You got kids? You bastard!
You told me you was childless!

Four darling
little ankle-biters,

and they need their daddy.

Brita, wait!
[SIGHS]

[CAR ENGINE STARTS]

[SIGHS]

Who invited you?

Get me out of here, will ya?

I'll at least listen
to your offer.

I know I've been a pain
so far.

You're a big enough pain
to break through ether.

I guess you heard
I did one job for a lawyer.

He was working
on the defense of a cop

who was being indicted
for shooting a 12-year-old kid.

Twelve years old? Oh.

It was during
a nighttime drug raid.

Kicked the door down,
wrong house.

A 12-year-old boy with
a toilet plunger in his hand

was gonna protect his mom.

For a split second, Jack Graves'
eyes saw a guy with a gun.

Squeezed the trigger once.
Didn't mean to.

What happened to
Jack Graves?

Because of my investigation,
the DA didn't prosecute.

Jack Graves got
a stress pension.

He lives with bad dreams.

Anyway, I don't go around

moonlighting
for lawyers and PIs.

Can you use some extra money?
Yeah.

A thousand bucks if you
get me the results I want.

Nobody has to know about it.
Well, what would I have to do?

Some surveillance.

Plus, uh, I need a male
helping me on this one

because I may need
some special undercover work.

This job might call for
a sperm sample.

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

Lady, you can't be that lonely.

[CHUCKLES]

[♪♪♪]

[OWL HOOTING]

[COYOTE HOWLS IN DISTANCE]

[♪♪♪]

[GATE MOTOR WHIRRING]

[♪♪♪]

[ENGINE SPUTTERS, STARTS]

[DOG BARKING]

You old dog.

[SIGHS]

[BARKING]

[♪♪♪]

[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[SIREN CHIRPS]

[SNORING]

Damn, you scared me.
Next time I'll wear a cowbell.

So tell me what happened.

You can leave out
the wet dream.

I wasn't asleep.

Oh, so you always snore
on your stakeouts, huh?

So tell me what happened today.[SIGHS]

This guy's gonna be harder to
trace than the Basque language.

How much did you say you were
getting paid for this job?

I didn't.

Your guy's got a friend.

Young, cute, long dark hair,
probably Latina.

They went for a picnic today
out in Painted Canyon.

She even brought her doggie
along. It was very touching.

Did they do anything else
besides picnic?

He didn't spread anything
except peanut butter.
Mm.

He even fed her doggie
from his very own sandwich.

So where does she live?
Know anything about her?

No. I couldn't get
her license number.

Well, why didn't you
follow her?

Because you said
to stay with Devon.

I wish I'd followed the guy

in the baseball cap.
What guy?

He picked up some guy
out in Painted Canyon.

Drove him
to downtown Palm Springs

after he dropped
the girlfriend off.

Maybe he just needed
a lift.
Well, maybe.

But I don't like third parties

barging into
a nice, clean soap opera.

And Clive Devon gave
something to the guy.

I couldn't see what it was.
I'm calling Rhonda Devon.

We're gonna
meet her someplace.

Well, I want a drink. All that
running around in the desert,

I got enough sand in my shoes
to toilet train a thousand cats.

[CHUCKLES MOCKINGLY]
[ENGINE STARTS]

I can't imagine it.
A young Mexican woman?

Maybe Mexican.

Why would Clive want to have
a baby with a Mexican woman?

Why not?
I wouldn't mind.

I mean, for starters, there's
Vikki Carr and Linda Ronstadt.

Then there's Millie Valdez, who
owns a new car dealership in--

The woman, the dog, none of it
means anything to you?

I hope I don't get an allergic
reaction to her dog's dander.

How about the guy
in the baseball cap?

The husky Latino.

Your husband gave
something to the guy.

My husband would
pick up any stray.

He's always been like that.

He gives handouts
to every beggar in the street.

He's like a child, really.

He's never had to work
for anything in his life.

He doesn't understand
how...vile people can be.

And you're still not ready
to confront him with it?

I'm just asking.
I will not question him.

He's never questioned me.
Never.

Have you been married before?

Twice.

CUTTER: Has he?
No.

He lived with his mother
until well into middle age.

He said I was his first...

and only love.

Now, what if you went
to Clive Devon's urologist

as a patient who wanted
to use a sperm bank?

What if he wanted a sample?
Well, you give it to him.

I ain't giving my polliwogs to
no stranger. That's humiliating.

Go home. I don't want you
to fall asleep

on your stakeout tomorrow.

Just one little sip of sherry
to help me sleep.

You know, that's
the most insincere smile

this town has seen since
Tammy Faye Bakker moved out.

Oh...

WILFRED:
The Furnace Room
is a hotbed of intrigue.

When the temperature rises, this
whole joint goes on a rampage.

Yeah, sort of like
a yeast infection.

Stick around.

This is one of those nights.

Are you Detective Lyn Cutter
of Palm Springs PD?

My name's Nelson Hareem.

Hareem?
Sure, I heard of you.

You're the one
they call Dirty Hareem

because you're so enthusiastic
about police work.

Can I get a beer
over here, please?

I called Palm Springs PD
to get your telephone number,

and they said you were out
on medical leave.

An officer told me
everyone knows where to find you

after 9:00.
Day or night?

Huh?

Never mind.
So, what's up?

I'm working on something
"unofficially,"

Detective Cutter.
Call me Lyn.

I'm younger than I look.
Everybody in here is.

I took down
your license number,

along with the number
of every car I saw

in Painted Canyon today.

I already checked out
three others.

What were you doing
down there?

What were youdoing
down there?

You're gonna
have to read me my rights

before you take
that approach, Nelson.

Sorry, Lyn.

I'm trying to catch a guy

who beat up the deputy
down at the airport.

You must have heard something
about it on the news.

I think the guy's holed up
in one of those canyons.

He was last seen
going across the desert

headed in that direction.

I can't believe
you'd go to all this trouble

because I drove
through the canyon.

Well, there's more.
Some hikers in a RV told me

they saw a man and a woman
go into the canyon

in a Range Rover
but came out with a second man.

So either
they picked you up, or...

Or what?

Or maybe they picked up him,
the fugitive.

Nah, couldn't be.

What, Lyn?
You saw something.

Hey, hey, it's not like I found
Jimmy Hoffa's pinky ring

in Ivana Trump's hair.

It's just a coincidence
is all.

Latino. Medium height,
kind of a husky build,

bald, big mustache,
35, 40 years old.

Carried a flight bag.

You saw him, didn't you?
Chill out, Nelson.

I saw a husky Latino, yeah.

He was wearing
a blue baseball cap,

so I don't know
if he was bald.

Anyway, what are you doing
down there?

Well, you know, I wanna
make a name for myself.

I wanna get transferred
up to Palm Springs,

where there's lights
and there's action.

There's shade.
Shade?

Yeah, it's too hot and barren
down in my end of the desert.

I mean, my shoeshine melts
every afternoon.

The leather on my sand brown
sweats like it's still alive.

I mean, in Palm Springs,
you've got trees

and tall buildings and spas.

And...
Shade?

Shade.

Tell me, Nelson, what color was
the flight bag this guy carried?

Red. It was red.

What are you looking for?

You're the detective.
Clues? I guess.

You know, it's kind of weird
hanging around a public phone

unless you're from
the planet Krypton.

One thing I can tell you
about this guy

is he's probably
from Mexico.

Really?
I ran back here looking for him,

and I found these.

I was gonna leave them
as a tip for Wilfred,

just to hear him complain.

Lyn, only two of these
are Mexican.

This coin, this is from Spain.
This is a 10-peseta coin.

Well, I don't have
my jeweler's loupe handy,

but I'll take your word
for it.

You know what this might mean?
He's an international smuggler.

He came here from Spain,
by way of Mexico.

Or he got change
in a Mexican border saloon.

Those guys are always giving you
coins from travelers in transit.

Look at this!
Don't tell me, another clue.

There's a page missing with
the motel listings A through C.

There's liable to be
30 or 40 on the page,

if this is even
the right guy!

Listen, I need the address of
your PI that you're working for.

And I need to see you tomorrow.
Oh, no, that's--

Lyn, you gotta help me on this.

Nelson, I'm all through
with your fugitive.

Otherwise, I'm gonna
have to turn over

all the information I have
to the sheriff's detectives.

They're probably gonna
wanna question you as to why,

when you're supposedly waiting
on a medical pension,

you're out there moonlighting
for a private eye.

The guy's a foreigner.
Husky, bald, resourceful.

Just flew in
from a foreign country.

Wonder if he's got a big pink
birthmark on his forehead?

[♪♪♪]

CLERK:
I think this is your type.

Why not take two?
One for day, one for night.

Will you be paying
with a credit card?

[SIGHS]
Think he'll show up on time?

Nelson Hareem is as predictable
as a summer heat rash.

This fugitive business can't
go anywhere. Make him see.

He couldn't see
with a Hubble space telescope.

He's obsessive-compulsive.

On another subject,
how about 50 bucks?

Hmm. Doesn't that mansion
of yours have a pantry?

Yeah,
and I ate everything in it

except the cat food,
which ain't my brand.

How about 20?

All right.
Against your fee...

if you get results.

You remind me
of my first ex-wife.

Dare I ask why?

She always used to like
to make me sweat

before she'd figuratively
pump a few slugs into me.

Of course, she always used
to aim for my fun zone too.

[CHUCKLES]

[KNOCKS ON DOOR]
Hello. Ms. Burrows?

I appreciate borrowing Lyn.

We've only got 37 hotels
and motels to check out.

I'll get him back
in couple days

after we catch
the fugitive.

Pleased to meet you,
Nelson, heh.

Lyn, guess what, that
Spanish coin? I got a theory.

The fugitive, he's from
Algeria, maybe Morocco.

That's right near Spain,
Ms. Burrows.

I know. I saw Casablanca.

Nelson, I've run more background
and credit checks on Clive Devon

than they do when they're
searching for a new pope.

Why would Clive Devon wanna
do business with a smuggler?

I've got that figured out.

The fugitive is
a Middle Eastern terrorist.

Nelson, there's
a drink machine downstairs.

I'll buy if you go down
and get us a couple of sodas.

My left knee is so swollen,

you wouldn't know it
from Marlon Brando.

I'll buy.

[DOOR CLOSES]
He's adorable.

I'd like to take him
to the circus

or buy him some jellybeans.

But if he tells the sheriff that
he saw you in Painted Canyon

and they interview Clive Devon,
my whole investigation is blown.

And beat me out of 5000...

Why,
you little dickens.

Here I am, risking my butt
and my pension

for a measly thousand bucks?

[SIGHS]
This whole thing
is slipping away from me.

Deal with Nelson.

Don't let him mess up my
arrangement with Rhonda Devon.

I'll give you an extra $500.

CUTTER:
Nelson, before you force me

to help you search for
a terrorist/smuggler/assassin

in motels that begin
with A, B or C,

tell me, why is your fugitive
terrorizing in Palm Springs?

Well, President Gerald Ford
lives here.

[SCOFFS]
He's not terrorizable.

If it wasn't for Watergate,
he'd be a retired congressman,

beaning people at the Grand
Rapids Municipal Golf Course.

Look, maybe Mike Hammer could
stay on a case till the end,

but I've got a business to run.

Somebody has got to tail
Clive Devon for me.

I'm sorry, Ms. Burrows,
but mycase is urgent.

Ms. Burrows,
remember that retired cop

I told you about, Jack Graves?

The one that shot the kid?

He could use a job.
Let's go see him.

[WIND WHISTLING]

[CHUCKLES]

Hey, Lyn.
Hi, Jack.

What a surprise.

This is Brita Burrows,
a new PI in town,

recently retired
from LAPD.

Hi.

Come on in.

Want something cool to drink?
CUTTER: No, thanks.

Have
a seat.

Brita's got a job
for you.

Doesn't pay much, but it'll
give you something to do.

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

Uh... I don't know. I...

I really have to take care
of a few things around here.

Ah, come on, Jack. This is a job
needs to be done. I can't do it.

[CHUCKLES]

Okay, Lyn.

What'd you do
to your hand?

Oh...

Burned it on the stove.

Getting old and clumsy,
I guess.

[JACK CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

You'll be tailing a guy
named Clive Devon.

[SIGHS]

That was a decent thing
you did for Jack Graves.

Had to get somebody
to tail Clive Devon.

What do you make of
that accident with his hand?

Same as you.

He also accidentally
cut his hand slicing onions.

Took about 35 stitches.

[EXHALES SHARPLY]
[ENGINE STARTS]

The guy's carrying
a lot of guilt.

That man needs
psychiatric help.

The man needs
body armor.

He's alone too much.

It's not good to be alone
all the time in this world.

[BIRD SCREECHES]

Carlton, it's you.

Yeah, it's me.
It's me, all right.

So, uh, you got me again.
It is definitely me.

This is Carlton the Confessor.
Every cop in town knows Carlton.

I done it. I done it.

Confess later, Carlton.

First, you check anybody
in here yesterday or today

who's dark, husky, bald,
got an accent and a mustache?

Be grungy-looking,
like he'd been sleeping

out with the coyotes all night.
Grungy? No, mm-mm.

I've checked in six people
in the last two days.

Four women, two men.

The women wore tank tops,
very well groomed.

Well, I guess
we better scratch this one.

Who's this?

Uh, you, uh,
checking out what here?

You're checking out...
Let's see.

You are checking out
modeling agencies,

money-order services,
monuments and memorials, hmm.

Burglaries? I done them all,
guys. I done them.

Carlton used to confess
to anything

for a ride in a police car
and some Toll House cookies.

I don't know.

Might have been all that sugar
wrecked his brain.

Did you feel the need
to babysit us tonight

or are you just in it
for the thrills and chills

of motel crawling?
I'm here to keep you moving

and out of
the Furnace Room.

The sooner you get out
of this fugitive hunt,

the sooner we make
some money, remember?

[NEWS ANNOUNCER SPEAKING
INDISTINCTLY ON TV]

Looking for a guy that might've
checked in yesterday afternoon.

Husky, mustache, 40.

Probably Latino.
Or from the Middle East.

Like Kansas?
That's the Middle West.

He's bald, but he might be
wearing a blue baseball cap.

Or some other kind of hat.

Sound like Vega in 111.
He wears a hat. Could be bald.

Please, Nelson.

This guy's probably
just some vacationing snowbird

from Walla Walla.
Let's not kill him right away.

Aren't you two packing a piece?
No.

Mine's in my purse.
My purse is in the car.

I have an extra one in my boot.
[SCOFFS]

When I first became a cop,

nobody needed two hands
to hold one little gun.

VEGA:
Yeah, what do you want?

We're looking
for a friend of ours.

You got the wrong room.
That's my room.

Sir, you got a wasp on your hat.

He's got more hair
than Willie Nelson!

CUTTER:
Eh, he's gone.

Man, I can spot a nasty wasp

faster than
the Anti-Defamation League.

I think it's time to go home.

Yeah, can I help you?
Please.

I'm looking for
a gravestone

like the one that was made for
a lady who died last September.

Did we do it?
I think so.

I've already been to other two
companies who do gravestones.

They said you do
beautiful custom-made work.

What did it look like,
marble, granite, what?

[SIGHS]
I'm not sure.

But I can tell you that
it had orchids carved on it.

One on each side
of the woman's name?

Single plot, 16-by-28?
You did it.

The only time I ever
got a call for orchids.

Please, I must look at the stone
with my own eyes

to make sure it's exactly like
the one I want for my dear aunt.

Please, can you tell me
the name of the person

who ordered the orchid stone?
You'll have to ask Martha.

I just do the cutting
and engraving.

I can't remember no names.
Have a seat in her office.

She should be back
in 20 minutes.

Thank you.

[♪♪♪]

What do you think you're doing
with my files?

I said, what are you doing?
You--

Put those invoices back!
Do you hear me? Mike!

Help! Help!

Hey, what are you--?

[GRUNTS]

[TIRES SCREECH]

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

Come on.

There you go.
[BARKING]

Hi.

[COUNTRY MUSIC
PLAYING ON RADIO]

CUTTER:
What they're doing here?

Anybody that'd steal tombstones
would steal your swimming pool.

Tombstones!
[TIRES SCREECHING]

CUTTER:
Damn it, Nelson!

Remember what Carlton said
about yellow pages? The M's?

It wasn't a motel that
the fugitive was looking for.

He was looking for memorials
and markers. Tombstones!

The invoice shows
the name of the deceased,

what was wanted on the stone,
who ordered the job,

and the name
of the mortuary.

I wish I could remember
the name on the orchid stone,

but I can't.

Mike, whenever you do
like a beautiful custom job,

something you're proud of,
don't you take a picture of it?

Something to show
the other customers?

But the boss does.

MIKE:
Orchids, orchids...

There it is! Lugo!

That wasa beautiful job.
I'll call the cemetery

and find out
who the funeral director was.

[WATER RUNNING]

[♪♪♪]

[TIRES SCREECH]

PRIEST:
And many is the time we heard
the lovely tenor, Danny O'Doole,

leading the choir during
his years of happy retirement

right here in our parish.

Now, Danny came from a place
called Ireland,

which, as everybody knows,
is the best place in the world.

And the reason I know that is
because I'm from there myself...

Would you care
to sign the guest book

for the O'Doole family?

Are you Mr. Lieberman?
Oh, no.

He's down the hall
in his office.

PRIEST:
Now, I'm going to inflict on you
a bit, if you don't mind,

a little poem
that's called "It Is Free".

Mr. Lieberman,
it's urgent that we find

the next of kin
of a Mary Magdalena Lugo,

who died last September.

Lugo. Let me see.

Ah, yes, that would be
Mr. John Lugo.

Wanted the very best for
his darling mother, as I recall.

I have his phone number
and his address in Palm Springs.

That's about all I know.

May I?
Mm-hm.

They call those things
coffin nails.

Yes.

And I've fired every employee
who's ever used that line.

[WHISTLES]

"Coffin nails."
That was funny, Nelson.

[♪♪♪]

Damn, I forgot
my glasses.

Ah, you've returned.

I was telling this gentleman
that the police were trying--

[GRUNTS][GROANS]

[GROANS]

[WOMAN GASPS]

[ALL CLAMORING]

[BOTH GRUNTING]

Get us out of here quick!
What happened?

Son of a bitch tried
to put me in a coffin.

Who did?
The fugitive, that's who.

He's some freak. I feel like

somebody Krazy-Glued
my sphincter.

Now I gotta worry
whether Palm Springs PD

finds out
it was one of their finest

rolling around
in Dracula's bed tonight.

How closely did that mortician
see your badge and ID?

Like most people,
he hardly glanced at it.

I mean,
for all that guy knows,

Lyn could be a Mountie
or a Texas Ranger.

I think it's time
Nelson took his information

to the sheriff's department,
leaving out a few details,

like wrecking a mortuary,
et cetera.

That guy put me
in a brass-handled sedan

before my time.

We gotta talk
to Clive Devon now,

figure out what his connection
is with the fugitive.

We what?

That'll blow our deal
with his wife.

We gotta do it.
And we gotta contact John Lugo.

So now it's John Lugo
instead of Clive Devon, huh?

I know I haven't helped out
on the Devon case,

but it isn't 'cause
I'm not trying.

You can't welsh on our deal.

Oh, don't worry.
You'll get paid.

Even if it's Jack Graves
who comes up with our answer.

Come on, let's go.

Come on. Come on. Come on.
[DOG BARKING]

Come on, boy. Yeah.

[COUNTRY-WESTERN MUSIC PLAYING]

♪ A frame
Without a picture... ♪

Hey. Hey, guys.
Clive, how are you?

Hey, Clive, if the Health
Department ever comes in,

be sure and act blind.

Tell them Malcolm's
your seeing-eye dog.

Ha, ha! Your booze would
blind anybody, Otis.

[LAUGHS]

Yes, sir?
Could I have a beer, please?

Looks like that dog's
a mascot around here.

Oh, Malcolm? Yeah, old Clive's
been bringing him in here

ever since he was
just a little old puppy.

The old gent with him, I think
I played golf with him one time,

but I can't remember his name.
That's Doc Morton.

He's the veterinarian
around here.

Takes care of all the animals.

He even took care
of my old shoulder one time

when I dislocated it.

[DOG WHINES]

That man sure loves his dog.
[CHUCKLES]

You never would guess this, but
old Clive there is a rich man.

Lives up there in Palm Springs
in this big old house, they say.

He's a pretty good
fella too.

[CHUCKLES]

Beautiful dog.
Thanks.

You got an empty chair.

Can I share your table
with you

and buy you gentlemen a drink?
Sure.

Sit down, make
yourself comfortable.

Jack Graves.
Doc Morton.

Nice to meet you.You too.

Clive.
Hi, Clive. Jack Graves.

This is Malcolm.
Beautiful.

[CHUCKLES]

So, Nelson,
what'd you get for Christmas?

From who?
From whoever.

Well, from my sister,
I got a cowboy hat.

From my mom and dad,
I got one of those

do-it-yourself burglar alarm
systems for my apartment.

Hmm.

How much do a good pair
of cowboy boots cost, huh?

Well, I admire a certain pair
of peanut-brittle lizard boots

with a red-eyed snake
on the side,

but I can't afford them.

They're 350 bucks.

Tell you what.

If you promise
not to screw up my deal

before we crack our case, I'll--
I'll get you those boots.

Wait a second,
you'll buy me those boots?

Yeah.

All right!
I'll see you guys later.

How about a nightcap?

Ever been
to the top of the tram?

[♪♪♪]

You date a lot of guys?
Oh, just about none.

I've been too busy
getting my business going.

Divorced?
Just once. One kid.

You're 0-for-2?
Yeah.

My first wife was a kid,
emotionally.

But she was a peach
compared to number two.

My daughter's
a freshman at Stanford.

Yeah?

Pretty expensive,
supporting a freshman.

They say sophomores cost
even more.

[CHUCKLES]

I always thought I could do
a decent job raising a kid.

I'm not the judgmental type.

Hmm, I had no idea
this was so steep.

Almost straight up.

Oh.
This old mountain's
two miles high.

[SIGHS]

The desert sky.

CUTTER:
Like bushels of diamonds.

It's magic.

Well, I'm a little lightheaded.
I think I'll go to the ladies'.

It's the altitude.
Oh.

What'll you have?

Well, it's kind of chilly
in here.

Think they have Irish coffee?
Sure.

Bar Scotch and an Irish coffee.

Put double shot of Irish whiskey
in that coffee, will you?

Are you aware it can hit you
hard at this elevation?

You can only handle about half
of what you normally drink.

The lady's a bartender by trade,
got a big tolerance level.

A double shot, please.

[SIGHS]

[SIGHS]

Oh, don't overdo it.

Such gallantry will make me
flutter my eyelashes,

and I'm not
wearing them tonight.

[GROANS SOFTLY]

Oh, thanks, Dot.
My name's Bonnie.

Oh, not Dot?
Dot works days.

Oh, that's a relief.

What was that all about?
A private joke.

What, between you and yourself?
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

I'll bet
you're glad you're here,

otherwise you'd be
bored as hell.

Bottoms up.

Nelson is right
about one thing.

We've gotta confront
Clive Devon

and find out if he knows
anything about the fugitive.

For example,
what did Devon give to the guy?

Drugs. The fugitive's
gotta be involved in drugs.

Can you imagine Clive Devon

being involved
in drug smuggling?

No, that's too much for me.

I'll take a nice, clean
homicide case every time.

[CHUCKLES]

[♪♪♪]

One more?
One more for the tram?

I've already had four.
[CHUCKLES]

Three. It was three.
[CHUCKLES]

All that Irish coffee,
I won't sleep a wink.

Ah, it's decaf.

Did I tell you about this female
sergeant I used to work for?

One day the guys taped
a porn-movie poster

to the top of her patrol car.

Helicopters are
all doing fly-overs,

and she didn't know
what to think.

[LAUGHS]
Macho crap.

You know, this is
the typical kind of thing

that female cops
have had to put up with

from the beginning of time,
that stuff.

Yeah, that's
what I've been thinking.

Bike riding is sure giving you
some buffed-up calves.

I like buffed-up calves.
[CHUCKLES]

You like mustaches?

I hate mustaches.
Half the LAPD has them.

Even the women?

[LAUGHS]
Macho crap.

I've been thinking about
shaving mine off.

How about country music?
You like country music?

Not especially. Why?

Oh, Nelson's got me
listening to it.

It's all about guys
that hang around in bars.

Lonely, unhappy guys.

Macho guys.

Sappy, macho guys.

I think it's time to go home.

Yes.

BRITA [SLURRING]: I feel awful.
[CUTTER CHUCKLING]

[BRITA CHUCKLES]
Yeah.

So how do you like
my temporary digs?

Huh?

[CUTTER LAUGHS]

Never mind.
[CHUCKLES]

[BOTH SIGH]

[BRITA CHUCKLES]

Here.
[GASPS, LAUGHS]

Hold this.

Oh!

[SIGHING]

My, it's... Mm.

Oh!
[WATERBED JIGGLES]

[SIGHS]

[GRUNTS]

[GROANS SOFTLY]

[SOFT MUSIC PLAYS ON RADIO]

[SIGHING]

Brita? You want me
to help you undress?

[SIGHING]

This is not my fault.

It's that damn freckle.

[MUMBLES]

Bittersweet chocolate freckle...
by your mouth.

I cannot get my mind...
off of that damn freckle.

[GROANS SOFTLY]

[GASPS]
Lyn.

Lyn, what the hell
are you doing here?

Mmm.

Mmm.

[BIRDS TRILLING
AND INSECTS CHIRPING]

[WIND WHISTLING]

[♪♪♪]

[GRUNTING]

[GROANS]

You dirty, sneaky,
depraved swine!

[GRUNTS]
[YELPS]

I'll kill you! You--

You...rotten sleaze! Hey!

[GROANS]
[POUNDING ON DOOR]

Brita, whatever's bothering you,
I'm sure we can talk about it.

[HANDLE RATTLING]
Ow! Mmm!

Brita, you don't have that gun
in your purse, do you?

[DRAWERS OPENING]

Brita, don't force me
to call 911.

[DOOR OPENS]

Look, Brita,
I think I understand

why you're mad at me.

But honest,
I was drunk.

You are the most vile,
evil, horrible human being

I have ever known.

I ain't that bad.

You raped me.
What?

Date rape. I'm going to sue you,
you filthy, perverted creep.

You don't know
date rape from dandruff.

[SCOFFS]
The only reason I put you to bed

is 'cause you were drunk.
Hell, I was drunk too,

or I'd have noticed
I put you in the wrong bed.

How could you do that
to another human being?

You wanna know what I did?

I kissed your freckle,
that's all. Then I passed out.

You kissed what?

Your freckle, right there
on the side of your mouth.

I've had this urge
to kiss that freckle

since the first day
I laid eyes on you.

Oh! God, I hate this bed.

I hate this house.
It's lonely. I'm lonely.

You're lonely.
I'm not lonely, you animal.

And even if I were, it would
not give you the right to...

What,
to kiss your freckle?

You know what?

I think I got in
two kisses before I crashed.

You wanna give me
a sobriety test?

I couldn't walk a line if you
painted it with a push broom.

You take a woman's clothes off
and you slobber all over her,

then you degrade her,
and then that's all right,

you foul, slithering vermin!

[SIGHS]
I didn't take your clothes off.

[SCOFFS]
But you ain't gonna believe me,

so why don't you just
get your gun and shoot me

and get it over with?
I think I will,

you sniveling, debauched,
lowlife bucket of dog vomit.

Now, where's that purse?
Aah!

Where's that damn purse?
Uh-- Oh...

Oh, you're whiter
than grandma's undies.

[GROANS]
You better get in the bathroom

real quick.
[GROANING]

[SIGHS]
I'm making us some coffee, okay?

If you say anything about
this night, I will sue you.

Sue me?

Look, Brita,
I ain't that weird.

My entertainment
consists of hanging around

with those old coupon clippers
at the Furnace Room,

so how depraved can I be?

We will finish our case,
I will honor our deal.

And then I want you to never,
ever cross my path again. Okay?

I didn't do anything so awful.

What do you want from a guy
before he brings you home?

His old handcuff key
on a gold chain, or what?

[SCOFFS]

[GLASS SHATTERS]

[COUNTRY-WESTERN MUSIC
PLAYING ON RADIO]

♪ A song without a melody.. ♪

Lyn, listen to this.

"Police are baffled by
a violent fight between two men

that interrupted a service
at Lieberman Brothers Mortuary.

One man claimed
to be a police officer,

but police spokesman believed
that his badge was bogus."

[CHUCKLES]

I guess
you'll be buying a scrapbook.

Something happen between
you and Brita last night?

Nothing a person your age
would understand.

Wanna listen
to my new country tape?

It's probably about
a guy whose girlfriend

beats the hell out of him,
then threatens to call a lawyer.

♪ A joke with no laughter ♪

♪ Old without the new ♪

♪ Ain't no cure
For the feelin' ♪

[DOORBELL RINGS]

♪ Of being lonely times two ♪

Yes? What can I do for you?

You John Lugo?
No, but this is his home.

May I ask your name?
Sure. Bino Sierra.

Mr. Lugo is playing in
a golf tournament this week.

Is this about the thing
in the mortuary?

You know about that, do you?

Sergeant Feeney
from Palm Springs PD

phoned this morning.

He wanted to see if Mr. Lugo
could shed some light.

But Mr. Lugo has no idea

why those two guys
were looking for him.

Isn't he a little nervous,
being out on a golf course?

[BINO LAUGHS]

That's what
the sergeant asked.

But Mr. Lugo said
that he's lived a long life,

and that the only thing
that he would like

is to break 80
on the golf course.

John Lugo
ain't afraid of nothing.

Why do you think
somebody's looking for him?

I just take care
of the property

and drive Mr. Lugo
wherever he wants to go.

Now, we're anxious to be of help
any way we can.

[CHUCKLES]

[LOCK CLICKS]

As the old actors
in the Furnace Room would say,

that smile is about as genuine
as an agent's kiss.

[PHONE RINGING]

[GROANS SOFTLY]

Yes?
JACK: This is Jack Graves.

I think I've got your answer,

but I want you and Lyn
to satisfy me

about the fugitive
and Clive Devon.

[SIGHS]

BRITA:
What were you doing
in Painted Canyon, Mr. Devon?

Just having a picnic
with Blanca's daughter, Esther.

Blanca's
my housekeeper, heh.

That's Esther
out in the pool.

And why did the man
need a ride?

He said he'd spent
the night camping,

but his truck broke down.

He seemed delighted
when I told him

I was driving to Palm Springs.

He asked me to drop him off in
the center of town, and I did.

Did the man have an accent?
Yes. He was from Mexico.

But he spoke
beautiful English,

more grammatical
than most Americans, heh, heh.

Yeah. Even Malcolm liked him.

And he's a very good
judge of character.

Malcolm?
That's Malcolm out by the pool.

[GROWLING PLAYFULLY]

The dog.
Well, Esther's dog.

I'm afraid my wife's
terribly allergic

to animals of all kinds.

[MALCOLM BARKING
AND ESTHER LAUGHING]

Well, we've taken up enough
of your time, Mr. Devon.

I'd, uh-- I'd like
to offer an opinion.

He couldn't have done
anything violent, that man.

He talked about
the desert a lot.

Said his grandfather had a home
out on the Sonoran Desert.

He used to go there
as often as he could.

Ah, he had a very...

gentle way about him.

Mr. Devon, you gave something
to the man. What was it?

Well, he seemed
so lost and forlorn,

I gave him
a peanut butter sandwich.

[♪♪♪]

[VEHICLE APPROACHING]

Just leaving
some water for the coyotes.

[CAR DOORS CLOSE]

What happened to your hand?
Never mind me.

Tell me about Clive Devon
and the fugitive.

The guy sold him
some bill of goods

about his truck
breaking down,

and Clive Devon gave him
a ride, that's all.

You agree, Brita?

Yeah, Clive Devon's about as
sinister as a blueberry muffin.

That was my impression
after meeting him,

but I had to be sure
about the fugitive angle.

You met Clive Devon?

We had supper together
at a cowboy joint

up in
Desert Hot Springs.

I even met the doctor
who took the sperm sample.

You met his doctor?

Malcolm's doctor.

The sample
belongs to the dog?

Clive found Malcolm
in the desert

when he was a puppy
five years ago.

I don't get it.
It's a very simple case.

We made it complicated.

Malcolm's got
an enlarged heart.

Clive's determined
to replicate Malcolm

because he simply
cannot accommodate the idea

that Malcolm's soon
going to leave him forever.

Clive Devon is
a very lonely man.

He wants to replicate a dog?

There's no proper sperm bank
for animals,

so Doc Morton took the sample,
froze it,

and sent to a real sperm bank
in Beverly Hills

under the name
of Malcolm Devonson

with Clive's
Social Security number.

He's owned this dog
for five years,

and Rhonda doesn't even
know about it.

When Rhonda Devon
comes to Palm Springs,

the maid's daughter takes
Malcolm to her home in Indio.

Well, I guess I just have
to sit Rhonda Devon down

and tell her this whole thing
is about puppy love.

I wish you wouldn't.
Well, she's my client.

She's paying me. Us.

You don't owe me anything,
Brita.

She wouldn't understand
Clive's need.

Shewouldn't understand?
Hell, I don't even understand.

You could tell Rhonda Devon
that Clive's urologist

botched up the handling of
his specimen at his last exam.

That his routine biopsy
went to the fertility clinic

and a sperm sample
from someone else

went to the lab to be biopsied,

and that the billing
went to the wrong parties.

She'll wanna believe
it was all a mix-up.

I can't tell
a false story to my client

and ask her for money.

I could lose my license.
I could get sued.

CUTTER:
Then don't take
her money.

If anybody ever finds out
you gave her a false story,

the refusal of payment
will mitigate the thing.

You didn't say
whether you were willing

to give up your piece of it.
Or did I miss that?

Yeah, I guess I'm willing.

Me and Donald Trump
got too many problems as it is.

[CHUCKLES]

Am I the only one that's crazy
around here? Somebody tell me.

Unconditional love.

If you were
about to lose it...

wouldn't you
get crazy notions?

It's gotta be
the golf tournament.

Something's gonna happen
to Lugo.

One of us
will cover Lugo's house,

the other will cover
the golf tournament.

And remember, we're still
not positive, Nelson.

Okay. I'll cover
the golf tournament.

Glen Campbell's
playing.

If I don't spot the fugitive,

at least I can get
Glen's autograph.

If you spot him, you simply
call in the cops, Nelson.

You understand?
Sure, Lyn.

Ah, heck, John Lugo's not
paired up with Glen Campbell.

Well, who's the pro
in their foursome?

It's not Arnold Palmer either.

It's just some golf guy
named Jim.

You gonna be able
to recognize your fugitive

when he's all done up
in his golfing togs?

I think I'll recognize him.
Maybe.

You packing a gun?
You don't wanna know where.

That's why I'm wearing pants
that are so baggy in the crotch.

Well, listen, be careful
of premature discharge.

NELSON:
Well, according to this sheet,

they follow
Lee Trevino's foursome.

So this must be them.

Does it say if Clint Eastwood
is playing this year?

Yeah. That's gotta be
John Lugo.

[GRUNTING]

Boy, he couldn't break 80
on a pitch and putt.

Well, he seems safe enough.

I don't imagine any assassin's
gonna try to get him

at this tournament.

I don't like the idea
of Lyn being alone

if the fugitive tries to get
to John Lugo's house.

Do you all take

some kind of a Masonic
secret oath or something?

Who?
Men.

Clive Devon, he's worried
about the future

because he's--
He's kind of gentle.

And Jack Graves,
he's worried about Clive Devon

'cause Devon's lonely.

Lyn's worried about you,
you're worried about Lyn.

And nobody in this entire world
is worried about me.

Well, don't you know why, Brita?
[SIGHS]

It's because you're such
a capable, independent person.

Mmm.
Now, you take the rest of us.

I mean, let's face it,
we're more...

If you say "vulnerable,"
I'll rap you in the mouth.

Okay. I won't.
[SIGHS]

All right. So let's start
scanning the crowd

for a dark, husky, bald guy

who's capable and independent,
as I am.

Instead of arresting him,
I ought to marry the guy.

I'm hungry.
You want a hot dog?

[PEOPLE CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]

MAN 1:
Yeah. I'll have two hot dogs
and a popcorn.

Go in, go in, go in!
[ONLOOKERS EXCLAIMING]

MAN 2: Quiet, please.
[GUN RATTLING]

Everyone stand still.

[WOMAN GASPS]

WOMAN:
Excuse me?

Hey!

MAN 3:
Nice shot.

Excuse me, mister.

I'd like to--
[METALLIC CLUNK]

Damn.

[GRUNTS]

[♪♪♪]

[PEOPLE CLAMORING]

He has a gun!
[PEOPLE SCREAMING]

Hey!

Come back here
with that golf cart!

Hey! Hey! You stop!

That's a genuine
crocodile golf bag!

Look out!
[PEOPLE GASPING, SCREAMING]

Playing through.
Playing through.

Hey, mister!

[WOMAN EXCLAIMS,
THEN ALL GASPING]

[ONLOOKERS EXCLAIMING]

DEPUTY: All right, break it up.
This is him.

This is the guy
you've all been looking for.

Get off me!
I don't need no trouble!

Well, now.
Pickpockets have been

going through the crowd
like dysentery.

Good job, mister.

You're a cop?
Twenty-four hours a day.

Well, if I know Mr. Hope,

he'll say that this pickpocket
ended up with a real bad lie.

[ALL APPLAUDING]

[CROWD LAUGHING, CHEERING]

I can't wait for my folks
to see my picture with Bob Hope.

You realize we haven't
the faintest idea

what this guy wants
with John Lugo?

Maybe he'll make his move
tonight at the party.

I heard Lugo's inviting
a couple hundred people.

You know,
I wouldn't mind going,

just to see
how rich people party.

You can bet Lugo
will have plenty of security.

I could get us in.

Nelson could do his thing,
jump on everybody that's bald.

Probably come up with
jewel thieves and Sean Connery.

[CHUCKLES]

Um, anybody want another drink?
I'm buying.

Make it a double.

That kid makes me
feel my age.

When I'm around him,
I feel

about as up to minute
as polyester.

I got a birthday coming
in a couple of weeks.

You'll understand if I don't
want to come to the party.

I've already attended
one of your parties.

[PLAYING TRADITIONAL
MEXICAN TUNE]

[GUESTS CHATTERING
INDISTINCTLY]

MAN:
♪ Guadalajara, Guadalajara ♪

MEN:
♪ Guadalajara
Guadalajara ♪

MAN:
♪ Guadalajara, Guadalajara ♪

MEN:
♪ Guadalajara
Guadalajara ♪

[MEN CONTINUE SINGING
IN SPANISH]

[♪♪♪]

[PLAYING LOUNGE MUSIC]

After I'm
with Palm Springs PD,

I sure hope I get to see
you and Brita once in a while.

Me and Brita? Together?

Yeah. The way I see it,

you've got life-threatening
feelings for her.

I'd say it's love.
Yeah, I'm in love with Brita.

And Clive Devon,
he's in love with Malcolm.

And Malcolm's probably in love
with some Airedale.

Nobody's lucky in love,

not in this damn town.

Tell Mr. Sierra
that Mr. Lugo wants him.

How are you? Mariska,
good seeing you. Come on in.

Lance, how you been?

Boy, you're wonderful.
Look at these--

It's good to see you,
good to see you.

[WHISPERS INDISTINCTLY]

[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]

Food, everybody. Dinner's being
served on the patio.

Good evening.

I didn't know
we'd have police officers

supplementing
our security people.

Glad to have you.

Good-looking guy. Striking hair.

Sure, if you like a tango dancer
with hair like a skunk.

I like clean-shaven,
slim guys.

I wonder
if there's any pork left?

[CHUCKLES]

MAN:
Ramón...

Do you know Mr. Sierra?
No.

Mr. Lugo's man,
white stripe in his hair.

Tell him there's a lady
in the master bedroom

who's had too much to drink.
He must come at once.

What are you doing?

I told Henry I didn't want
his men serving drinks in here.

I'm sorry, sir, but the lady
told me to bring them.

She's in there.

Hello?

Hey! Hey, man.

If you cry out, if you try
to run, I'll shoot you.

Now, sit down. Sit down!

You're the guy
that wrecked the mortuary.

If your address had
been on the invoice,

I would not have had
to go to mortuary,

where that policeman
almost got me.

What policeman?

What invoice?

Day 13 of September
last year.

You arranged
for 10 kilos of cocaine

to be delivered
from Mexicali to Los Angeles.

You were,
how they say, middle man.

Your couriers were interrupted
by a Mexican police officer.

They were able to overpower
that policeman.

They telephoned you,
and you told them what to do.

Strangling is
a cruel way to die.

Two of your couriers
were later shot at the border,

but one was captured.

And before he died,
during interrogation,

he told all he knew,
believe me.

The courier told
how the telephone voice

in Palm Springs said,
"I just ordered a tombstone

with carved orchids
for an old, dead woman.

I can order another one
for the cop.

What is
his favorite flower?"

I see it meant nothing
to you, that little joke.

Perhaps cocaine makes a man
forget what he says.

What do you want?

The policeman's name
was Javier Rosas.

He was a good man.

He had four children

who played with my children.

Now his wife is alone.

You are a cop. A Mexican cop.

I am honored to serve
with Policía del Estado,

the state police of Baja.

I was a friend and comrade
of Javier Rosas.

The others have chosen me
for this mission.

It's a mistake. It's wrong.

It was Mr. Lugo.

It was John Lugo's voice
you heard on the phone.

He would not refer to his mother
as an old, dead woman!

The invoice from
the tombstone company said

that the stone was ordered
by Mr. Sierra for Mr. Lugo.

It's a mistake.
It's all a mistake!

It was all we had,
the tombstone and orchids.

But in Mexico,
we do not expect much.

We learn to work with
very little in so many ways.

Arrest me then. Arrest me!

I can prove nothing
in your courts.

I have no wish to torment you,
Mr. Sierra.

But I had to be sure about you.

And now, I am.

I can get lots of money.

More money
than you've ever seen in--

[GROANS]
[KNIFE SLICES FLESH]

[♪♪♪]

[GASPING]

[SCREAMS]

[PEOPLE MURMURING, EXCLAIMING]

WOMAN: Oh, my lord!
MAN: Oh, my God.

[ALL CLAMORING]

[♪♪♪]

No.

[GRUNTS]

Hey!

[TIRES SCREECHING]

[SIGHS]

I'll never know,
that's the hell of it.

I'll never know.
What else could it be

but a drug deal gone sour?

Bino Sierra burned somebody,
and he's getting paid back.

Why?
[SIGHS]

Well, it has all the earmarks
of a drug payback.

That's not what I mean. I mean,
why didn't this guy shoot me?

Why didn't he cut my throat?
Why?

You think I'll look good
in a Palm Springs uniform?

[DISPATCHER CHATTERING
INDISTINCTLY OVER POLICE RADIO]

Well, my knees need a drink.
You wanna join me?

Thought maybe we could celebrate
the end of our, uh, partnership.

I enjoyed myself,
most of the time.

[CHUCKLES]

Aren't you ever gonna forget
about the other night?

It's forgotten.

[♪♪♪]

I've been thinking,
maybe after I get my retirement,

I could help you with a case
once in a while.

I'm a pretty good detective,
right?

Yes, you are.

But I don't think
that would be a good idea.

Am I that hard to take?

Actually, you're smart.
And funny.

And you're pretty nice
to be with, sometimes.

You know, this is
none of my business,

but you don't have to end up
a Furnace Room drunk...

or like Jack Graves.

So is this it?

[CLEARS THROAT]

Are we finished?
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

As a team, I mean?

I never did tell you.

You've got pretty nice buns.

[ENGINE STARTS]

[CHUCKLES]

[HORNS HONKING]

[DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE]

[♪♪♪]

[PEOPLE SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY
IN SPANISH]

[SOBBING]

[WIND WHISTLING]

[SIGHS]
[BIRD SCREECHING]

[BAGPIPE PLAYING
"AMAZING GRACE"]

[♪♪♪]

[KNOCKS ON DOOR]

Well,
what do you think?

I bought it with
my first retirement check.

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

Pretty decent bike.
Well, thanks.

The goon says
it won't hurt my knees

if I don't try
climbing any mountains.

I have to get rid of this razor
blade they call a seat, though.

It's a really nice bike.

Keep your Scotch
in that bottle?

I haven't had a drink
in 29 days,

18 hours and 15 minutes.

Hmm. Thought you were
gonna shave your mustache off.

I did shave it off.

Then I remembered why I grew
it in the first place,

so I grew it back again.
[CHUCKLES]

Macho crap.

That's it.

So, what's it feel like,
quitting drinking?

Ah, it's easy.

Gotta find a lot of substitute
activities to occupy your mind.

Me, I've been eating
a lot of live lizards.

Got any live lizards
under your house?

Wanna go for a bike ride?

I don't think so.
I already rode this morning.

At your age,
you can't work out

in the morning
and in the afternoon.

Women can't take too much
physical activity. I understand.

Yeah?

♪ I wanna hear a heartbeat ♪

♪ In the darkness ♪

♪ Every night of my life ♪

♪ I wanna hear a heartbeat ♪

♪ In the darkness ♪

♪ Next to mine ♪

He's got our number.

[CHUCKLES]

Night after night,
all alone like Jack Graves.

Huh?

As alone as...

the fugitive.

What are you talking about?

I'm talking about
all those lonely nights.

Those fugitive nights.

What are you getting at?
I'm getting at a relationship.

A business relationship.

I think you've lost your mind.

Maybe you better
go back to drinking.

Oh, come on,
we got a lot in common.

We're both very enthusiastic
about pain,

as long as it's mine.
[CHUCKLES]

We could take turns
beating me up.

In fact, I'm suffering so much
at this very moment,

I sense that
we're both supremely happy.

[LAUGHS]

♪ See, without love
A house ain't a home ♪

♪ A diamond ain't
No more than a stone... ♪

Oh, my God.

Oh, what is it now?

Nothing. Nothing.

Everything is fine.

♪ I'd give every material thing
I own ♪

♪ In this life ♪

♪ If I could
Just hear the sound ♪

♪ Of a heartbeat ♪

♪ In the darkness ♪

♪ Every night ♪

♪ Of my life ♪

♪ I wanna hear a heartbeat ♪

♪ In the darkness ♪

♪ Next to mine ♪

[♪♪♪]