Frozen Stupid (2008) - full transcript
It's a Saturday, on a snowy Midwestern winter landscape, and Tony Norgard really wants to go ice fishing. But he is pressured to attend his mother-in-law's birthday party on the same day. To solve the dilemma, Tony feigns being ill and stays in bed. While his little white lie allows him the chance for a secret outing, it comes with a heavy price. Through the day, misfortune seems to meet him at every turn. When he meets up with his dad Frank, things get worse. Tony's lie seems to have put a curse on what should otherwise have been a simple day of fishing for everyone. Unaware of the charade, Tony's wife Lila happily goes about her day, sorry that her husband is at home, sick in bed, missing a great weekend of family fun. Tony befriends the spirited and very independent Stormy, a beautiful, yet rugged ice fisher woman. Stormy becomes one of the many unusual characters Tony meets in this frozen lake community of anglers. Through it all, even Tony is dwarfed by the magnitude of his compounding troubles. But he is an optimistic man and in his own way tries to put the best spin on the mess he has created. With hopeful confidence, Lila somehow manages to see past his ice-fishing antics. She remembers the honorable man she married, and armed with large amounts of grace, remains supportive. This comedy tells the tale of a cantankerous father and his bumbling but well-meaning son who share a joyous obsession for the age old art of ice fishing.
(dramatic music)
(gentle music)
(spring boinging)
(faster music)
(crowd cheering)
(man laughing)
♪ I just want to catch the fishes ♪
♪ I just want to catch the fish ♪
♪ I just want to dig the fishes ♪
(ice crunching)
(crowd cheering)
(man laughing)
(crowd whistling)
(slower music)
(man gasping)
- Oh Sam, Sam.
Come on.
(man sighing)
(man taking deep breaths)
Oh yeah.
Hey, come on,
Samson.
(door sliding)
(dog barking)
(man shivering)
(jaunty music)
(urine splattering)
(feet scraping)
(man sighing)
(jaunty music)
(plate clattering)
(man sniffing)
(lively string music)
(phone beeping)
(man sighing)
Hey Bern.
Oh, geez, I'm sorry.
Yeah, well same to you fella!
(man sighing)
(glasses case clatters)
(phone beeping)
Hey Bern, this is Tony.
I was just wondering if you might
want to join me out on the ice today.
Give me a call as soon as you can.
Alright, bye.
(phone beeps)
(man sighing)
Hello, hi.
Yeah, I'm looking for Billy, is he there?
Oh really, on a Saturday?
Oh, okay, thanks.
(upbeat rhythmic music)
(bell ringing)
Willaby, you here?
(radio playing in the background)
♪ Don't know why I sleep around ♪
♪ All you do ... ♪
- Hey Tony.
- Geez, Willaby, you scared me!
- Ooh, it looks like you
picked a fine lure there, Tony.
- [Tony] Yeah, can you help
me get this thing out of here?
(Tony laughing)
- Here.
Give me the see.
- [Tony] Ow!
- Sorry about that.
- That's all right.
- Tell you one thing, you got good taste.
That is an expensive lure.
- I don't want the lure Willaby,
I just came in for some minnows.
- Well, I've been selling them like crazy.
Follow me.
(Tony sighs)
How many you want?
- Oh, a couple dozen ought to do it.
Hey, have you heard where they're biting?
- [Willaby] Everywhere,
where have you been?
Perch are punching holes
through the ice from underneath,
just to escape.
(Tony laughing)
You'll be doing them a favor.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Man, these little
beauties are guaranteed
to drive them crazy.
Big ones too.
- Well, that's what I'm after.
(sighing)
- See the,
the lure
and the minnows
comes to $8.60.
- I don't want the lur ... nevermind.
- So you out by yourself today?
- Yeah, but that's okay.
I was supposed to go to my mother-in-law's
for a birthday deal,
but you know, I wasn't feeling well.
(Willaby laughs)
- So you're still that bad, hey?
- Could be sick all weekend for sure.
At least till this afternoon
when the party's over.
(Willaby laughing)
Hey, I love those things.
Give me a couple, would ya?
- Yeah.
- And make it four, I'm having a pang.
(bag rustling)
(Tony mms)
(Willaby laughing)
You are the Wolfgang Puck
of the pickled egg world.
- That'll get things moving.
That's 10 bucks to you.
- Mm.
(Tony grunts)
You know I watched a
fishing report this morning,
they said conditions are
supposed to be perfect today.
- I don't know how they can figure that.
- It's the barometric pressure,
stuff like that.
See you later Willaby.
Oh, if anyone asks, I wasn't here.
- Who wasn't here?
(Tony laughing)
- Exactly!
(upbeat music)
(Tony yells)
(Tony growls)
(hands bang on the window)
Jeez.
Hello?
- You can't park here.
Get your piece of crap out of here!
- I always park here.
- The space needs to be clear.
Move it!
- (laughing) All right, already, Jeez.
(hand slams on the window)
(hands bang on the glass)
(car metal crunches)
(woman laughing)
(metal squeaking)
Oh man!
(Tony sighs)
(engine roaring)
(sled scraping on the ice)
(engine purring)
- Norgard!
- Ah Stormy, you are just in time.
Can I get a ride?
- Hang on, man.
Whoa!
- Hey, I heard the fish are cooperating.
- You heard right.
- All right.
(Stormy whoops)
Giddy up!
- Hang on!
(engine growls)
(they both scream)
- Ahh!
- Yeah, baby.
(engines roaring)
Ah, it's great out.
(sled crunches)
- See you've got a zebra
theme going this year?
- Actually, it's an homage to Ted.
- The Nouge?
- Motor city madman.
- Yeah!
(they laugh)
(Tony sighs)
Man, I love it out here.
- No place I'd rather be.
(wild west style music)
(shivering)
(door clatters)
- My bait broke last night.
- No kidding, it only got to 15.
- I know.
So can I borrow some of your minnows?
- Oh, I don't know, I only got two dozen.
- Oh, these are beauty.
Hey I'll er,
I'll trade you some jerky for 'em.
- Jerky?
- Jerky.
- From Max?
- Where else.
- All right, I can
spare a couple, I guess.
- I'll be right back.
(door slams)
- Okay, let's see here.
(upbeat wild west music)
(Tony sighs)
(Tony sighing)
Bastards.
(line spinning)
All right.
Wherever you are, I'm
gonna get ya. (laughs)
(phone ringing)
(zip scraping)
Oh.
(Tony coughs dramatically)
Hello.
(coughing) Oh, hi Lila.
Ah, a little better, I guess.
(fishing line squeaking)
Well, aah, thanks for calling,
but I don't really want to keep ya.
(boxes crashing)
Oh, nothing, just something
fell off the bed. (laughs)
How's mother?
Oh, that's great. (coughs)
Please tell her I send my love.
Yeah,
uh huh.
Oh I'll try to call it
four, like you said.
(coughing and sniffing)
Okay.
You too. Bye.
Ahh.
Oh, come on.
(he sighs)
(door clattering)
- (laughs) Jerky as promised
und (mug bangs on the wood)
(Stormy makes slurping noises)
- Excellent!
- Yeah.
- Help yourself.
- Thank you, sir.
(Tony sighs)
Oh beautiful.
- Oh, I had a nice bite.
- Yeah?
- Yeah, it had to be a walleye or a piker.
You know, maybe it was a jumbo perch.
Yeah, whatever it was, it was big.
I could tell by the way it was fighting.
- Could be man, they're biting all over.
- Oh,
man, this jerky is
awesome!
- (laughing) All right.
- You know, there's a hole
there for you if you want it.
- Oh, um thanks man but
I'm sat next door.
You got a nice deal here though.
- Well, thanks, I like it.
It's a little stuffy though.
Cold, but stuffy.
- Mmm, you.
(water splashing)
Norgard,
bless you.
- I'm going to see if I can get
that big boy to come back.
- You know,
I have a good feeling about today.
- Me too.
(bluesy guitar and harmonica music)
Ahh!
Oh,
oh God!
(water splashing)
- Norgard, are you okay?
- Aw, I had 'im.
(Stormy laughing)
It was a jumbo perch, for sure.
- Oh, the same one?
- Probably, jumped back in the hole.
- I hate when that happens.
- Oh man, I love the hunt.
- Yeah.
- [Tony] It's so primal.
- An age old challenge.
- Man and beast.
- Hmm.
(bluesy music)
- Oh, slime, ah.
- [Wolowski] Right small.
- [Sam] Are you kidding me?
- [Wolowski] Uh-ah.
- That little thing?
I've had pimples bigger
than that poor little thing.
- Now that doesn't surprise me.
- All right, wait, wait,
wait, let me try that again.
Here's the deal.
You're never going to catch one
like the dude that I
caught out here last year
and that's that.
That fish was four foot long.
- I was there.
For the record, it was three years ago
and that thing was 30 inches tops.
I've caught bigger ones since.
Hell, everyone's caught
bigger ones than that.
- Bosh!
(Tony sighs)
- Hey, what's up Tony?
- Hey, just enjoying
some of this paradise.
- (laughing) Hey, your old
man not out here today?
- Nah, he had to go to a birthday party.
- Birthday party? (laughs)
Go party! (laughing)
- Excuse me.
- Hey, sure.
Birthday party! (laughing)
- March it.
(can crunching)
(man growling)
- Need to lose some weight.
- Hey, what are you doing here Pop?
- What do you mean,
"What am I doing here?"
What are you doing here?
- Aren't you supposed to
be at a birthday party?
- It's not till two.
It's only half past
10, I got tons of time.
- Well actually the party's at four.
- There you go, better yet. (laughs)
Now, what's your excuse?
- Well, if you must know,
I wasn't feeling that well last night
and I thought it would be
better if I rested up some,
but come this morning, I felt fine.
Go figure.
- That's pathetic.
- Hey, I'd go,
but I might still be
contagious or something.
- Whatever. (laughs)
Don't you have a
shanty around here somewhere?
- Yeah, it's over here.
Why don't you join me?
Come on, Pop.
It's warm, I got fresh jerky.
- Lead the way.
(Pop sighs)
So what's new?
- At school?
- Whatever.
- Ah, the kids are a bit of a pain,
but they're a good bunch.
- You're still teaching gym?
- Athletics, Pop.
- Ah.
- Yeah.
- Well school never did much for me,
ha, especially that athletics, ha,
going naked in the shower, ooh.
- That's not that big a deal.
- Well, it was for me,
I wasn't that big a jock,
then.
- Ha, no kidding.
Hey, I know how you feel, Pop.
- Yeah, better you than
me, yeah boy. (laughs)
Hey, ha ha, would you look at this.
What is it, a new coop?
Pretty snazzy boy.
- Bought it off old man Peterson,
fixed it up over the summer.
Do you like it?
- Yeah I do, I do.
(shivers)
Yeah.
- What have you got for bait?
- Bait?
- Yeah, you know,
minnows, wigglers, wax worms?
- Well actually, I didn't
stop off at the store today.
- Well, what the heck
are you going to use?
- Well, there's plenty
of bait hanging around.
Matter of fact, I was
thinking of going down there
to old man Flanagan
Shannon, you know. (laughs)
He's always got high
hopes and too much bait.
(Frank laughing)
(Tony sighs)
All right, so what have you got?
- Minnows.
We might have to go get more.
- What for?
We'll just split 'em.
- Well sure, Pop.
But Stormy took some.
Well, there's got to be 16 left.
You can have eight.
- No, no, then listen.
Just split 'em and you, you, you,
they make 'em, make 'em
last longer, that's all.
- In half?
- Yeah!
- I don't think that's a very good idea.
- Why not? A lot of guys do it.
- Er, what other guys?
- Besides, what the
hell is a fishing hole?
- Yeah, but some fellas use marshmallows
or peanut butter or beans.
That doesn't mean it works.
- Ah well, hey, (laughs)
suit yourself.
- Yeah, I'm not doing it.
You can have whole minnows.
- All right.
Ahh,
here we go.
Here we go.
You know,
there's only three
regrets in a man's life.
- Yeah, what's that, Pop?
- When he proposes,
when he doesn't propose
and when he isn't fishin'!
(they laugh)
- That's not even funny.
- It's not supposed to be. (laughs)
- Salut!
- Here we go.
- Ahh.
Oh boy.
Give me one of them fish there with a ...
That's it.
- There we go.
- That's it, you got it.
You got it, all right.
Put it right on there, like I taught ya.
(laughs)
- There you go.
- All right, hey, all right.
There we go.
Yeah, so how's Lila?
- Oh, she's fine.
- Yeah?
- I had to borrow her car.
- You brought her car
down here to the Lake?
She's gonna be PO'd, boy.
- Yeah, I know.
But she took my truck,
what was I supposed to do?
- Man, you got guts.
- That ain't the half of it.
I already backed it into a truck
and busted out the tail light.
- You gotta be kidding.
Well, how are you going to explain that?
- Oh, I haven't really
thought that through yet.
- Well, good luck.
Hey, have you got your license?
You always forget it, you know.
- Yeah, I got it.
- (laughs) Yeah, a little
fishy in the brook,
Papa catch 'im on the hook,
- [Both Singing] On the fly and in the pan
Baby, even like a man. (they laugh)
(jaunty music)
(Pop snoring)
(Pop burping)
- Well.
(loud snoring)
(water splashing)
(fishing rod clattering)
(men snoring)
(loud rock music)
(people shouting)
(engine revving)
(people shouting)
(rock music)
(engines roaring)
- Surprised that thing even made it!
- Jack, what are you talking about?
This thing's running great.
- Yeah?
(metal slams)
How great?
- Great great.
- How about down to North
Bay Point and back, huh?
- You're on!
(helmets clash)
(upbeat racing music)
(engines roaring)
(people cheering)
(engines roaring)
(dramatic music)
(Tony sighing)
(ice crunching)
(can clinking)
- What the hell?
Where's my fishing pole?
- I dunno, mine's gone too.
- Now that's odd.
- Hmm.
(fast orchestral music)
(riders laughing)
(metal snapping)
- [Rider] Get out of the way!
(rider shouting)
(engine droning)
(rider screaming)
Look out!
(wood shattering)
- What the Sam Hill?
Come on.
- Nice move Mario!
- You jerk!
You can't race anybody.
- You don't know how to do these.
- C'mon let's get it back over there.
- The brake is on the left!
- What are we locked in here for good now?
- Hang on, hang on!
(men grunting)
- Oh man!
- Hey!
- What the hell's going on out here?
What is this, some kind
of dream or something?
- No, this is the real deal, Pop.
(Stormy laughing)
- It's like you finally got
that ventilation problem fixed
you were talking about. (laughing)
Man, you guys catch anything?
- Nothing but Zzzs.
- I am doing great.
Perch mostly,
but some big ones and they smelt ugh.
(teeth crunch)
Mm.
- Stormy, what are you doing?
- Mm, we take the smell
from the beer can,
leave a little bit of beer in there,
put it over the heater.
Takes awhile, but.
- [Tony] Oh, it looks terrible.
- Mm, kind of an acquired taste.
- Somebody stole our fishing poles.
- Why?
- Don't ask me why, somebody
stole them, that's all.
- Man, those sleds are
gonna need some work.
- Yeah, this isn't the first
time this has happened.
(glove whacks the man)
- My brakes gave out.
Man, I, I'm sorry about your shed.
We'll, we'll come back
in a little while and,
and and, and fix it, okay?
- All right, sure, sure, sure.
Come on, let's get back to work.
- All right, hey.
- Go, get 'em Frank.
- It's no big deal, okay.
Don't worry about it.
(Stormy laughs)
- You know, fishing is so good that er,
I'm almost out of bait.
- Yeah, well, don't look at me.
- Aw, come on.
(Tony laughs)
Fine, I'll head in and reload.
- Hey, if you're going, get
some for us too, all right.
- Will do.
- Oh man.
(whistling music)
(head bangs on wood)
Phwa, hand me a pole.
- Where?
Oh here.
- Thanks, Pop.
- Here.
This is my last pole.
Ha, I had a whole bucket
full of these things.
(Pop sighing)
Ha, ha.
Hello, baby.
There you go.
- Oh, I'm freezing in here.
- Ah, the heater's still on.
What are ya doin'?
- Ah God, sorry, Pop.
There we go.
- What are you doing?
- Just watch.
(whistling music)
- I kinda liked the fresh
air in here. (laughs)
- Hey, you got something.
- Hey, hey, hey.
Come on there, come on.
- All right.
Now we're getting somewhere.
- Ha, ha!
- You got the, whoa!
- You got some too.
- I told ya. (laughs)
Come on, sweetheart,
come on, come on.
Come on, baby, come on, come on.
There we go.
Get out of there, there we go.
Ha ha ha.
- Get outta that.
- Dinner.
Whoa, one bucket.
- Ahh.
- Oh!
(Pop laughing)
Come on, baby.
Come on, don't go back in the water.
Oh, daddy. (laughing)
(they both laugh)
- Whoo, ha.
- That one's coming in the back ...
- Come on, baby, come on.
Come on, baby, come on, come on, come on.
- Ahhh.
- Come on, baby.
All right.
It's okay.
(laughing)
(knuckles rapping on the door)
- Yeah, come in.
- Afternoon, gentlemen.
- Oh hi, how are ya?
- What can we do for ya?
- Oh, I'm just checking in.
How's it going fellas?
- Oh, pretty good.
Mostly.
- Can I see your license?
- Sure.
Let's see.
Gotta be in here somewhere.
- There, here's mine.
Thank you.
Ha, ha, Doug, come on baby.
Hell, take your time.
- I wonder if I left it in my glove box?
(Pop laughs)
I, (laughs) I don't have it with me.
- Can I see your driver's license?
- Okay.
(sled zooms past)
Anthony Norgard.
Is this your current residence?
- Yeah.
- You know, you're supposed
to carry the license with you.
- Told ya.
- I could probably give out
over a thousand dollars worth of
tickets out here today, but
I'm in a good mood.
You come by with your license
around the DNR office on Monday.
I'll forget all about it.
- Oh thank you, you're a saint.
- But you're gonna have to quit fishing
in the meantime.
- Oh, come on.
- I could vouch for him, sir.
I know he has the license.
- It doesn't really matter.
No license, no fishing.
- No, can't I just finish out the day?
- Norgard, Norgard.
Is that your little red
Probe over by the boat ramp?
- It's my wife's actually.
Why?
- I just put a ticket on the windshield.
- Oh, come on.
- Parked illegally.
(Tony sighs)
Next time you go fishing,
bring your license.
- Well, there you go, ha.
(Pop speaks German)
- Hell, he's probably not
coming back here today.
There are 500 shanties out here.
- Yeah.
(door crashes)
- Oh, by the way,
I think you might wanna know,
there's a tow truck pulled up
next to your
little car.
- What?
(door clatters)
Oh!
I can't relax out here.
I'll see you later, Pop.
- Okay.
Oh wait, where's that drip
you with talking about?
- Oh, it's over there
on the shelf in a bag.
Help yourself.
- Thank you.
- Hey!
Untie it, untie it, what are you doing?
You're gunna rip that thing apart.
- That yours?
- It's my wife's.
- I heard that's the first car for women
designed by women.
- Really?
- Either you do it or I do it.
One way or another,
gotta come outta here.
(Tony sighs)
- All right.
Be gentle.
- You bet.
(rock music)
(horn beeps loudly)
(car squeaking)
(jaunty music)
(door handle rattles)
- Shit.
(jaunty music)
(door handle rattles)
(Tony scraping the ice)
(sighing)
Okay.
C'mon, ahh.
(device boings)
Oh, come on.
(dog growls)
(paws scrabble)
(jaunty music)
(window scrapes)
Ahh.
(metal scraping)
(feet clattering)
(sack thuds)
(Tony sighs)
(springy music)
(voices chattering)
- [Lila] They look pretty different.
(voices chattering)
Yeah, okay.
(voices chattering)
- [Mom] Okay.
(voices chattering)
Wait a minute.
(women laughing)
You know it should be.
(voices chattering)
Holy cow, d'ya think we could?
Yeah, but you had the
other special dish for it.
I'll look good on the table.
(springy music)
(window squeaking)
(door clattering)
(glove box door rattles)
(door slamming)
(Tony whistles)
(objects rattle)
(glove box door slamming)
(Tony whistling)
(car door clattering)
(door slams)
(women arguing)
(springy music)
(wheels rumbling)
(Tony sighs)
(birds singing)
(Tony sneezes)
(tires bursting)
(brakes screeching)
(air whooshing)
(traffic zooming)
(door clattering)
Oh.
(Tony sighs)
(Uptempo weird music)
(fly buzzing)
(radio playing)
(hands clapping)
(bell ringing)
- Damn files on me,
where they come from?
- Hey, Willaby, I need more minnows.
- Oh, you must be pulling 'em in.
- (laughs) We're doing all right.
(Tony sighs)
- Where's your bucket?
- Aw, I left it in the shanty.
- I keep these bags around.
How many?
- Two dozen ought to do it.
(laughing)
(water splashing)
(Elvis singing on the radio)
- There you go.
Saw Lila a little while ago.
- What are you talking about?
- She was at the market.
I stepped out for some lunch,
bought a couple of those ham
and provolone croissants.
I love those things.
- Did you talk to her?
- Just to say hi,
- You didn't tell her you saw me, did you?
- Actually I asked her where you were,
being Saturday and all.
(they laugh)
- You did not!
- Did so.
- What did she say?
- Said you were still
home in bed. (laughs)
Said she had to get
back to her mom's house.
(Tony laughs)
Party an' all.
- Willaby, you got guts.
(Willaby laughs)
- So, $2.50.
- All right.
♪ There ain't nobody ♪
- Hey, some guys stopped
in a little while ago,
said they thought they'd hooked
a monster pike or something,
then that thing busted off.
- I thought they caught
that thing last year.
- Na, they said this one's bigger.
- Oh yeah, they all say that.
(Willaby laughing)
Hey, what time is it?
- It's, er almost two.
- Oh well, I got some fish to catch.
Thanks Willaby.
(uptempo weird music)
God,
shit.
(car tires rumbling)
(Tony groaning)
(jaunty music)
(sleds zooming)
(weird music)
- Hey.
- Ah, got more minnows
and I found my license.
- (laughs) They're not biting on minnows.
- Oh yeah? What?
- Ha, they're turnin' up on
my light green sprinter jig.
Hell, I ran out of
minerals over an hour ago.
- Way to go, Pop.
(Pop laughing)
- Oh but it's starting to happen here.
Got another one, aha boy.
Hey, come on in, baby.
Hey, looka here, looka here, looka here.
(Pop laughing)
You know, old Stormy next door,
she caught a 28 inch walleye.
- Well, now that you
got the fish fired up,
they're gonna love these beauties.
- Na, na, na, na.
Here, here's the dead wood
of the future right here.
- Baa.
- Come on, sweetheart, there you go.
That's it.
Okay.
(Pop sings nonsense words to himself)
- What are you doing?
- Ssh.
- Oh, for crying out loud.
(Pop continues singing)
(Pop laughing)
Oh Jeez.
- There you go.
(Pop laughing)
- Wait.
- Got one!
Wait, wait, wait, wait a minute.
Hold it, hold it.
- Holy crap,
these fish are too big
to pull through the hole.
Hand me that flashlight.
(groaning) Here, hold it.
- [Pop] What are you crazy?
Look at this.
Your minnow swam into my lure.
- That's not possible.
- What do you mean it's not possible?
Look at this, look at this.
Look at this.
- All right,
so they're tangled.
Hand me that knife.
(Pop groans)
- Here, hold onto that rod.
Now be careful down there.
- Okay.
- All right.
You see it?
- Yup.
- Ahh, boy.
- Got it.
Look.
There we go.
What?
- That was a $7 lure.
I bought it in Minnesota in 1969.
- Come on, Pop.
You got a tackle box full of those things.
- Not light green ones!
- Sorry, Pop.
(Pop sighs)
Oh, come don't just sit there.
Try another lure.
Use the middle, I got plenty.
Here.
(Pop groans)
- Yeah, let me try.
Yeah, I'll try this one.
- Yeah, that's the spirit.
There we go.
- [Pop] That's about as big
as the bait you're usin'. (laughs)
- Oh, okay, get back
in there little buddy.
Come on, go on, swim home to mommy.
Okay, time to swim home.
Come on little fish, you go home to mama.
Come-
(water gushing)
(Tony yelling)
Crap almighty, what was that?
Pop, did you see that?
- Ssh.
- Pop!
(Pop sings nonsense song)
Pop!
(someone shouting outside)
(doors slamming)
- Oh, son of a bitch!
- Stormy, are you all right?
What happened?
- (breathing heavily) I'm in my shanty,
I'm brushing away the ice from the hole
and all of a sudden this,
this, this thing comes up
and (makes gushing noises).
- He visited me too.
- You saw it? You saw it?
- No, I didn't see him, but he went after
this little perch that I was throwing back
and splash, like hell,
look, I'm still all wet.
- Jeez.
God it hurts.
- Ooh.
(Stormy groans)
You need to see a doctor.
- (sighs) Good Lord, what was that?
It was like all teeth!
- I don't know.
It was like a pike or something.
It was very aggressive.
- Tell me!
- [Pop] Are you guys
gonna be quiet out there?
- He thinks that the
fish can hear us up here.
(Stormy sighing)
Hey Stormy wait, where are you going?
You gotta see a doctor.
- Screw that, I'm going
to catch that thing.
- Not if I catch it first.
- Ooh.
(door slamming)
- That is the perfect parking spot.
- These fish do not like yellow.
- The fish are colorblind, Pop.
- They weren't so colorblind when I had
my light green spinner jig
that I had since 1969.
(Tony sighing)
What are you after now?
- Oh, I'm going to
catch that monster pike.
You should've seen what it
did to Stormy's fingers.
Man.
- You know, it kind of reminds me
when I was canoeing down
south of here one time.
Ha, there was a little duck,
it must've been sleeping, you
know, going down to the river.
And then I followed along
and I came right up behind him, you know,
and I didn't want to scare him away.
So I'm goin' along, goin'
along, easy does it,
and then right up alongside of him
and I touched him with my paddle
and he was dead.
And I flipped 'im over
and the whole underside
had been bitten away,
probably some muskie or a pike.
- That's why I don't
go swimming over there.
- Oh, that's probably smart.
Well, I think I've had it for today
(groaning) if I can get
this thing outta here.
There we go.
All right, that's enough of that.
Whoo, I got a whole mess load to clean.
Oh man, we're going to
have a meal tomorrow.
(hands clapping)
(Pop laughing)
Wanna come over?
- Oh yeah!
- Oh, no, no, you'll be sick though.
- Oh, I might be better by then.
- Well, all right.
Hey, what time are you goin'?
- I don't know, let me
check the cell phone.
Quarter after three.
- Oh, I'm late, I'm late.
Give me a hand there will ya?
- Sure thing, Pop.
- Maybe you ought to come
with me to that party.
You know, there's going
to be all kinds of trouble
If Lila finds out that you were at,
out here all day.
Nobody's gonna know or care.
I attended tons of those things.
- Yeah?
Well it's going to be fun to
see you wiggle out of this one.
(Pop laughing)
Yeah, now we're all set.
- Right down,
there you go Pop.
- Okay.
You sure you won't come, eh?
I'd have to take Lila's car anyway
and I gotta get that thing home.
- Hey, when you get to be my age,
you'll know which battles to pick.
See ya later, sonny boy.
- It was a good day, Pop.
- All right. (laughs)
(jaunty music)
- Hey, guys.
- Howdy.
- Oh, hey.
Have you guys run across
the seriously big pike around here?
- We have, why?
- That thing almost ripped my
face off and it bit Stormy.
(equipment clatters)
- It bit Stormy?
Where's your shanty?
- Right over there.
- Mind if we join ya?
- That thing's been on
our list for a long time.
- Oh, that thing did that?
- Last year, right out here.
I figured either it had been caught,
(can rattling)
or died off by now.
- Well, if that's not him,
then it's his twin brother.
- Sure you don't mind?
- Not at all, let's go.
- C'mon.
(jaunty music)
- Tell me about the pike.
- I saw it right there.
- What were you using for bait?
- Minnows, but it went
after a small perch.
- That's good.
(Tony sighing)
(friend laughing)
Check this out.
(men laughing)
- Oh, I've seen those in the catalogs.
Does it work?
- Surprisingly well.
(men laughing)
- Aw, that is so sweet!
- Ah, that looked like a perch.
- I'd love to see that thing.
- The pike?
- [Friend] Yup.
- Oh man, what time is it?
Four or five, okay.
Can you guys be real quiet?
(can slamming on the floor)
Okay.
(equipment clattering)
Oh!
(water splashing)
Crap, crap, crap!
Oh man, I just got that thing.
I knew I should have got
the insurance. (sighs)
Do one of you guys have
a cell phone I can use?
- Here, sure.
Here.
Don't drop it.
- All right, shh.
(man giggling)
(coughing) All right, mom.
Happy birthday.
Oh, I wish I could be there.
(coughing) Did Lila bake you a cake?
Oh, that's great.
Yeah, (coughs) oh, I'm
fine, I'm just resting.
(friends start coughing)
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, er Lila, no I just really-
Hi Lila.
(friends coughing)
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
It sounds like mom's having
a great birthday party.
Yeah.
Did dad, did dad make it?
No?
I thought he was, nevermind.
Well I should probably,
what?
Oh, the number?
Oh, (coughing) I borrowed
a phone from a friend.
He came over to visit.
Sam, you remember Sam?
What?
Oh, really, what does it say?
Alvin Thompson?
Well, that's a friend of
Sam's, yeah. (coughing)
Well I actually probably let you go.
I don't want to use up all
of Sam's, Al's minutes.
So yeah.
All right, I love you too.
Bye.
What, what, why the what?
Oh great.
Well, what time can I expect you?
Oh, wonderful.
Yeah.
Hey, (coughs) could you
stop by on the way home
and pick me up some of that
Mackinac Island fudge ice cream
that I like so much?
Oh, thanks. (coughing)
Yeah, you too.
Bye.
Who's Alvin Thompson?
- That's his uncle.
- [Tony] Oh, hey.
That's old man Woodgates' old snowmobile.
- It's gotta be a classic.
(they all laugh)
- Oh, hey, there's my phone.
Oh, I wonder if that thing still works.
(phone ringing)
(laughing) That's amazing.
- [Friend] Wow.
- What the ...
(they all scream)
Holy crap!
That sucker ate my phone!
- That fish had to be four feet long.
- More like six.
- What was it?
- I'd say it was the biggest pike
this state has ever seen.
- You think that's what's been
jumping up through the holes?
- Maybe.
(door bangs)
- Come in.
- What's going on in here?
Where's your dad?
- He had to leave.
- Are you guys the Wolowskis?
- He is, I'm Idelman, Sam Idelman.
- Sam Idelman.
Oh I'm sorry, I'm Stormy.
It's,
well, it's an honor to meet you both.
You guys are legends around here.
- You're the one that got bit by the fish?
- How do you hear about that?
- We've been talking about it.
- That fish did that to you?
- Last year.
- We've got to get that thing.
- That's what I say.
- Whoa, what'd you got there?
- Oh, I got that for Christmas.
Pretty cool, isn't it?
- (laughs) Yeah, Tony dropped
his cell phone down the hole.
We got a great picture of it.
Framed up perfectly.
- And then that fish came
by and scooped it up,
like it was a piece of meat.
- Unbelievable.
Wait, wait, actually that is unbelievable.
- No, it's true.
- I saw it with my own eyes, Stormy.
- We gotta get that thing.
- How are we gonna do that?
- I don't know exactly.
- Well, listen, I only got an hour,
so fellas let's get at it.
- [Wolowski] Yeah, sure.
Oh.
(they all laugh)
- They love the cheese.
(snowmobile rumbling)
- So the thing came over the hill
and I could tell it was
frothing at the mouth.
Threw down my riser, come on.
- That's the stupidest
thing I've ever heard.
- I swear on my mother's grave.
- Sh, well, what happened then?
- Oh, I managed to get
it into a head lock.
He wrestled around for a little while.
- That was the eight pointer?
- 10.
- Aww!
- I'm not kidding, the thing
was enormous, it was huge.
So finally used an old jujitsu move
my dad taught me when I
was in the Marine Corps.
Got it on my hip, flip the thing around.
Then my entire family all went around
that magnificent beast.
- How did I know that was exactly
what you were going to say, yeah?
- 'Cause it's true.
- Ha, ha, hey!
Did Wendell here actually ever kill
a ten point buck with his bare hands?
(woman sighs)
- See.
- That was no kind of an answer.
- Oh, Oh, Oh then,
14 point comes over the hill.
- Cut the bull stories, will ya!
- Yeah all right, but someday
you will ask me to tell you that story.
- Ho, ho, sure.
Hey, Stormy.
- Hey, Frank.
- Wanna beer?
- Ah, sounds good.
- Ah barkeep, one draft please.
Hey, how's the finger?
- Uh, I'll live.
Thanks Dave.
- Oh, I bet I know what happened.
- No you don't.
- Yeah, it was a fish, wasn't it?
- How do you know?
- Same thing happened to
me last weekend, look.
- [Stormy] Oh!
- What have we got?
Some kind of Jaws out here?
- I'm telling you what,
people are talking about it.
I saw Idelman and Wolowski
out at Tony's shanty.
- I'm listening.
- They saw it on their video thing.
- Well, you know, that Tony had something
jump out of his fishing hole
and, and I thought maybe
it was a muskie or a pike or something.
- Right, well they said,
they said they saw it swallow Tony's phone
after he dropped it in the lake.
- Are you on the level?
- Why would I make this up?
They're out there trying
to catch it right now.
- Yeah I hope they do.
That fish is a nuisance.
- Wendell?
- Mm?
- I bet you could feed your entire family
a whole winter on that magnificent beast.
- Ooh, I don't know,
that thing's been down
there an awful long time.
I got a feeling it's pretty tough.
- Ha, well, whoever brings
it in, if they bring it in,
it's gonna be one big deal.
That's for sure.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Hey, to the fish.
- To the fish.
- Arrr.
- Och.
- Bare hands.
- To the fish.
(glasses chink)
- Oh, oh good.
- Why don't you believe,
you never believe-
- No! Never!
(gentle guitar music)
- Oh crap, I gotta get out of here.
What time is it?
- 6:30.
- All right, here.
Sorry guys, shanty's closed.
- Come on, it's still early.
- Listen, if I don't get home right now,
(can splatters)
I'm in big trouble.
Come on, you guys,
there's gotta be a
bazillion shanties out here.
- Please, Tony, take it easy.
We'll close it up for you.
- Okay.
Sam, put those minnows over by you.
I'm gonna put 'em to good
use, hopefully tomorrow.
- No problem.
We're using bigger stuff, anyway.
- Oh, Let's see.
- Good luck
- Thanks.
(door banging)
(Sam sighing)
(jaunty music)
(sighs) What the?
Oh,
freaking comedians.
Figures.
- Hey, look who's here.
- Tony!
- What are you doing here, Pop?
You missed the party.
- Is it that late already?
- What's with all this,
ooh can't wait to see how you're going to
wiggle your way outta this one stuff.
(they laugh)
- Salut. (laughing)
- So, to what you're
hangin', did they catch it?
- No, and they're not gunna, either.
Idiots are fishing with cheese.
Legends?
- The man lost digits, Tony.
- (laughs) Okay,
so where's my car?
- What are you talking about?
- You know dang well
what I'm talking about,
where is it, out back?
- I never touched your car.
- Oh, come on.
You guys, this is really
funny and everything,
but I gotta be back home by eight o'clock
and that car has to go with me.
Cough it up.
- I haven't seen it since this morning
when you parked it between those trees.
Hey Tony, how'd you
manage to do that anyway?
- C'mon guys, enough is enough.
- Wait, wait, wait.
You guys really don't
know anything about this?
- [Pop] No.
- Okay, I don't either.
Where's the last place you parked it?
(Stormy chuckles)
- Where?
I was sure it was right here someplace.
Shanty's over there, this
was the perfect spot.
(Pop sighing)
- Hey, didn't there used
to be a spring around here?
- Oh God, somebody stole it.
- No offense, Tony,
but who around here is gunna want to steal
your wife's Probe?
Truck maybe, ATV, snowmobile, tricycle.
(Pop laughs)
- Er, fellas.
It wasn't stolen.
- [Wendell] Looks like you're
pretty well screwed, Tony.
(gentle rhythmic music)
- Here's what we're gonna do.
Somebody gets me home, right now.
I lock the garage door.
That way Lila can't park my truck inside.
She won't know her car is missing.
I'll get through tonight, somehow.
Then tomorrow I'll have it hauled out,
cleaned up and everything'll be fine.
That car needed a little work, anyway.
- That's the stupidest
thing I've ever heard.
My advice is go home and confess.
Lila will get over it,
someday. (laughs)
- Your dad is right, I totally agree.
- So you guys, I think
I can pull this off.
All I gotta do is keep
Lila out of the house
all day tomorrow while the car gets fixed.
Come tomorrow night, everything is normal.
- I'm not married like you, but
my guess is that's a pretty terrible plan.
(Tony's knees crash on the snow)
- What?
- You guys are right.
(Stormy laughing)
She has to forgive me, right?
I got to feeling better, right?
I had to go fishing, right?
- [Pop] Right.
- What was I supposed to do?
Sit around all day?
- [Pop] Of course not.
- [Stormy] No.
- All right.
(Wendell laughing)
Oh, she's gonna kill me.
(Pop laughs)
She's gonna kill me.
- You might've deserved this one.
(people laughing)
(dramatic music)
- (sighs) I am so stupid.
- Well, that's just something
she won't forget for a while,
that's for sure.
- Do you wanna come in with me?
- Oh, you quivering little pup.
Take it like a man.
So okay, you made a couple of bad moves.
Go in and say you're sorry
and get it over with.
- Yeah, you're probably right.
- Ah, besides it's not like it's
coming out of left field, you know,
you've made plenty of stupid moves before.
- Gee, thanks Pop.
- You're welcome.
(jaunty music)
(Tony sighs)
(car door slams)
(garage door rattles)
(dog barking)
- Hi, sweetie.
- What did you do to my car?
That thing's all beat to crap,
smells like rotten eggs,
what the hell happened?
- I'm really sorry, Lila.
Did you have a nice time with your mom?
(hand whacks Tony's face)
- I am so mad at you.
You are gonna fix that
car, every last thing.
What is the matter with you?
You're just like him!
Idiot! (growls)
- Wait a second.
How did you get the car back here?
- I came home early,
saw that my car was missing,
you weren't around, two plus two.
- So you went out to the lake?
I drove your truck out to the lake,
saw my car parked on the ice,
traded back my sweet
little car and came home.
I can't believe you did this.
So why didn't you drive your truck home?
- Oh man.
(Lila growls)
- Okay mom, you're welcome.
I love you too, bye.
Happy birthday.
Mom says stick it in your ear.
- She did not.
She should've.
(Tony sighs)
So what are you going to do?
- I don't think I can get a
wrecker out there till Monday.
- Well, maybe you need a day off.
- Very funny.
Hey,
why don't you let me
take you and your mom out
to Sunday dinner tomorrow?
They got that new
restaurant in Prudenville,
it's supposed to be really nice.
- That's a cheap shot.
- Yeah, I know, but I'm just so sorry.
I guess I thought maybe in some way
this might help you and
your mom forgive me?
- Whatever.
- So I'll meet you around two?
- (giggles) Sure.
(phone ringing)
Hello?
Sure, just a minute.
It's the sheriff.
He wants to talk with you.
- Hello?
Yeah.
Oh, you're kidding me.
Oh, no, don't worry.
I'll have it out of
there by then for sure.
Yeah, thanks.
Oh, hey, hey,
you wouldn't happen to know somebody
who could snag that
thing for me, would ya?
Really?
All right, hold on.
(phone clatters)
You there?
Go ahead.
7613.
Alright, thanks.
Yeah, I know.
Hey look, I really
appreciate all your help.
All right, bye.
(phone beeping)
Hello?
Yeah.
I had my truck go through
the ice on Houghton Lake.
Yeah, well it's a ways out
there, that's for sure.
Yeah, but.
Okay.
Do you think there's any way
we could get that thing out tomorrow?
Really?
Oh no, that's great.
Yeah, I'll meet you there.
All right, bye.
(Tony sighs)
What do you suppose the odds of me
borrowing your car tomorrow morning are?
- After church?
- Well, since the sheriff gave me 24 hours
to somehow get that thing out of there,
I kind of think I need all
the daylight I can get.
- I agree with you on that one.
I can get a ride to church, take it.
- You're the best.
- So what's this little
rescue going to cost?
- He didn't exactly say.
- Sure you have time for a Sunday dinner?
- Oh yeah.
No, I'll go over first thing.
We'll have it out by noon, easy.
- Okay, I'll call mom.
- I'll meet you guys at the restaurant.
- Whatever.
- (sighs) What a day. (laughs)
I'm beat.
I'm gonna go to bed.
- Goodnight.
(spooky music)
(water splashing)
(boards rattling)
(exciting music)
(crashing and banging)
(water splashing)
(spooky music)
- I sure do appreciate
you coming outta here
on a Sunday an all.
Have you pulled stuff
out of the lake before?
- Couple of times.
Hey,
you that guy with a red Probe?
- That's my wife's car.
- Thought you looked familiar.
- I still don't know how that thing
got between those two trees.
Somebody's messing with me.
- Yeah, that was a tight fit for sure.
- Well, it's right here.
(sighing)
(rod splashing the water)
(water splashing)
10,
20,
30, there it is.
Ah, it's down there.
That's er, too deep for me,
you might have to wait till spring.
- Yeah, I don't know about that.
The sheriff was very clear.
He said I have to have
the truck out by today.
- (laughs) Well I don't
see that happening.
- Oh, come on.
You look like a clever guy.
How would you do it?
- You're screwed.
(Tony sighs)
So listen, I got a lot of other stuff
I need to be doing so er.
- If you think of something,
will you give me a call?
- Yeah, sure.
- Hey.
(pole whacks on the snow)
(jaunty guitar music)
(snowmobile engine roars)
(Stormy sighs)
- Did you hear the latest about the fish?
- What now?
- Something
got into the shanties last night,
ate up all the bait.
- Are you serious?
- No sign of entry.
Even emptied out the lock hoops.
- You know, I was thinking
about this last night.
My grandpa used to tell a story like this.
It's happened around here before.
It turns out it was this big smart pike
or maybe it was a muskie, I forget.
- See, I've been here for years.
I've never heard anything
like it until last night.
- [Both] Crazy.
- So did you figure out
how to raise the Probe?
Listen to this.
Turns out Lila came out here last night
and brought my truck and traded with me.
Yeah, that's right.
That's my truck underneath the ice.
- Holy, what are you gonna do?
- Actually, I'm still working on that.
- Hm.
- Might as well go check out my shanty.
- Yeah. (laughs)
(rapid guitar music)
(engine purring)
- Hey, Stormy?
- Yeah.
- I always wanted to ask you something.
- What?
- I don't know.
I see ya out here all the time, alone.
I've always wondered,
do you have any family
around here or anything?
- It's always just me and my dad.
You know, he worked for the railroad.
He died when I was 14.
He always used to take me fishing.
I don't know.
Now I work at the ER, it's just crazy.
(sighs) I like,
I like the alone time.
I like how simple it all is.
(brass music)
(sighs)
And I like to watch the people.
- Well er,
I'm glad to know ya.
- Glad to know you too, Norgard.
(Tony laughs)
(melancholy string music)
(door clattering)
- Oh.
- Holy smokes.
Whoa.
- This thing was full of minnows.
- Crazy, huh?
- (gasps) I'll bet it's that same
son of a B that ate my cell phone.
(can clatters on the ground)
- And tried to ruin my Frenchies.
- So he's going from
coop to coop at night,
stealing food.
(Stormy sighs)
Oh man, this jerky was the Cajun-flavored.
He's got an appetite,
he cleaned me right out.
You know,
I swear I still had a pickled egg or two
lying around here someplace.
- I talk to everybody.
It's the same story.
He's eating everything in sight.
(door clatters)
(they both gasp)
- Hey!
- What the?
- Oh, hey Pop.
(door clattering)
Hey, look at this Pop,
we had a bait burglar, cleaned me out.
- Well, gentlemen, I have a fish to catch.
- [Tony] (laughs) Hey, take care.
- Good luck, see ya Stormy. (laughs)
Uh,
You know, I'm kinda surprised
to see you out here today.
- Oh, I had to meet the
guy with a tow truck.
- Oh yeah, and?
- He's no stinkin' help.
He only likes the easy ones.
- That's natural.
Ha, so how's Lila taking all this.
- Oh, she's cool.
- [Pop] Yeah?
- I'm taking her and her mother
out to dinner this afternoon.
Sorta make up for yesterday.
- Ha, that's nice.
It's a start anyway. (laughs)
Hey, you mind if I use the shanty today?
- Oh, go ahead.
(Pop laughs)
I can't stay out here long, anyway.
I still got to figure out
a way to get that truck.
- Okay.
- Well, let's see here.
So, what have you get there?
- Ah, last night, I got to
thinking about that big pike.
So I put the strongest line
I had over here, you know?
And I said, right go
out there and catch him.
Well, I don't know.
I had the, the odds
were against me in that,
besides I like to fish for
the small fish anyway, so.
- Well, you know,
I'm sort of leaning towards the big fella.
- Ah
- Can we trade?
- Nah, that's.
- Oh, come on Pop.
- Well, okay, but listen,
I found another one of these last night,
so don't lose it.
- **Don't worry, not with this stuff.
It's like steel.
- Er,
you know, it sounds kind of crazy
that there's something
in this lake that comes
jumping up out of these holes
and thrashing around all these shanties,
looking for things to eat,
and then jumps down in that hole again.
Sounds crazy.
- [Tony] Nature's wonder.
- Eh, hey, maybe it's a
big old mud puppy huh?
- Do they still have mud puppies?
- Ahh.
(Pop grunts)
Oh all right, get in there baby.
There we go.
(Pop sings a nonsense song)
(Tony joins in with the nonsense song)
(they both shout and cheer)
- Aww, mine got lost.
There's something to this
system of yours though, Pop.
- Ah, ha ha.
Ha, ha.
- Hey and this line is thick,
it hardly wants to stay on a reel.
- That's why I like the
small stuff. (laughs)
(they both sing a nonsense song)
You know, I remember the time,
well Uncle Charlie and Verne, his buddy
came down to do some fishin'. (laughs)
And old Verne was a little bit too lazy
to be cutting a big hole in the ice.
So he brought along a stick
a dynamite. (laughing)
Well, it went over there
and he threw that dynamite
just as far as he could throw it.
But he forgot that Uncle Charlie
had his big old black Labrador and like
in the truck, you know.
The dog saw that dynamite go, man,
he said, "Hey that's a stick."
Wham, he went after it. (laughs)
And they just stood there and they could,
could, "No, no, no, come back Erin."
And the dog went over and got that,
and started bringing it back.
And he went right underneath the truck.
Well these, you know,
they started running, man.
They ran like a son of a gun, (laughing)
and the dog started
chasing them, thinking,
"You know, hey, after all,
"they're leave me behind, right?"
And they're screaming and hollering,
"No, no, no, no!"
(Pop laughing)
Just about that time
the dynamite went off.
It was under the truck.
Blew old Charlie's truck off
to hell and gone. (laughs)
- I've heard that story 100 times.
I still don't.
- Why did you
have me say it then?
- I still don't.
- Oh! Hey!
Hey, hey, hey.
Hey, wait a minute, I'll use the bucket.
Don't move, I've had practice.
- Ahh, holy crap!
- Put it down, now.
- This thing, it's huge!
- Put it right down.
Ease it, ease it,
Put a drag on it.
- I'm trying, Pop!
- Yup, easy does it.
Don't let 'im take too much throw in.
He'll just pull it first.
- I know, I know!
- Let me get this out
of the way over here.
All right, good, easy does it.
- Come on, come on, think I'm gettin' it.
- Easy, easy baby, easy.
Whoo, hoo.
(Tony grunting)
No, no, no, that's right.
- Oh!
- No, No!
There he is, there he is, keep it going.
Oh, he's just playing possum.
(reel spinning)
Don't let him take too much slack.
He'll rip that, that whole reel off.
- I'm tryin' Pop!
- Okay, you're trying, at a boy.
Keep goin'.
- Come on.
- Keep it comin',
keep it comin'.
Keep it coming at a boy.
(Tony sighing)
Come on, come on.
Pull it in, baby.
- Get it, oh.
- C'mon.
- No, he's off this time, Pop.
- Oh, he's playin' possum, come on!
- Oh God, that was a huge fish too.
God it was some kind of record, maybe?
- I bet it's the same one that took my-
- What the hell?
(Pop shouting)
(Tony yelling)
(Pop laughing)
(fish growling)
- Stay with him, stay with him!
Watch out.
Watch out, that's his bite.
Watch the teeth.
Watch out for his teeth.
(Tony groaning)
Watch out, watch out.
Let me take a picture.
I can't see his face.
(fish whacks on the wall)
(Pop yelling)
Oh, beautiful.
(camera clicking)
I got it!
- Wait until Sam and Bruce see this!
It's the biggest pike I've ever seen.
- (laughing) It's a world record.
(they both laugh and whoop)
Oh boy, I got this.
(phone ringing)
Whoo!
(both laughing)
(phone ringing)
Hey, I keep hearing a telephone ringing.
- (laughing) It's mine.
It's probably Lila, oh crap!
What time is it?
(phone rings)
- It's almost three o'clock.
- Oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God.
I gotta go, Pop.
Take the credit.
- I don't want 'im, no.
I won't clean that thing, no ways.
- Please, I promised Lila.
- What the hell!
- No.
- The beast!
Tony, you caught the beast!
Holy crap!
- Stormy, Stormy, you
can have it, I gotta go.
- What?
- I gotta go.
I promised Lila I'd be there.
- I can't take him, Tony, it's yours.
You were meant to catch it.
- Hell, I didn't catch it.
It jumped right into my lap.
(energetic string music)
(car door clicks)
(bell rings)
- Can I help you?
- Hi, yeah.
I'm looking for two women
who were waiting for me,
mother and daughter deal.
- (huffs) You must be Tony.
- Yeah, that's right.
- Yeah, they just left.
- What?
- Oh, you just missed 'em.
- Oh great.
You don't happen to know
which way they went, do ya?
- Sorry.
- Thank you.
(energetic music)
(engine buzzing)
C'mon.
(brakes screech)
(engine revs)
(energetic music)
(door slams)
(gentle guitar music)
(door squeaking)
Hey, baby.
These are for you.
- What?
Do they explode or have the plague
or are they infested with headlice, what?
- Oh, come on, Lila just take 'em.
You are not gonna believe what happened
out on the ice today.
- Oh.
- I caught the fish, the
big one, the monster one.
- That's great, Tony.
So how's the truck project coming?
- Forget about the truck.
- That is not going to be that easy to do.
- Well, it turns out that it's going to be
a little harder than I originally thought.
- Isn't that a surprise?
- I'll find someone to
get it out of there.
Where's your mom?
- She's in the bathroom.
- I am really, really,
really sorry about dinner.
Did you have a nice time?
- Yes, we did.
- Well, how much was it?
I wanna pay for it.
- With the tip, it came to $40.
(notes crumpling)
Actually it was $26.
I'll keep the change.
- Hey, come on.
You gotta see this fish.
- You've got it here?
- Oh yeah, it's outside.
I bungee corded it to your car.
- Why should that surprise me?
(tongue licking)
- Hey!
Get outta there!
What do you think?
- I think you've got
some work ahead of you.
- Yeah, I know.
I'll get that car back to
normal in no time, I promise.
(toilet flushing)
(wind escaping)
Hi mom.
- Hey, Tony.
Well, you've had a busy
weekend, haven't you?
- Yeah, it's had its ups and downs.
(Mom laughs)
How was dinner?
- Oh, we had a very nice time together.
- Oh, that's great.
Hey, check out the fish I got.
I haven't measured it yet,
but it's got to be a five footer.
Might be a world record.
- That's nice, Tony.
Is it bleeding on my driveway?
- No, I don't think so.
- Who would've thought?
- It's pretty cool, huh?
(Tony sighs)
- Did you get your truck back?
No yet, mom.
Still working on that.
(lively music)
(crowd cheering)
All right, the lake is now safe!
(crowd cheering)
(triumphant music)
(siren wailing)
Willaby!
- Whooo!
(people shouting)
- We're all right.
- Good one Tony.
- Twenty.
(men shouting)
(ladies screaming)
- Hey, Tony!
That's my boy, you know. (laughs)
- You must be very proud.
- Hey, c'mon. (laughs)
Hey, Tony!
I am, I am, I am. (laughs)
(happy guitar music)
♪ Well now open the
window, close the door ♪
♪ I'm going out with the band ♪
♪ Said now ♪
♪ Open the window, close the door ♪
♪ I'm going out with the band ♪
♪ You got to open the window ♪
♪ Close the door ♪
♪ 'Cause I ain't comin' back anymore ♪
♪ Open the window, close the door ♪
♪ I'm going out with the band ♪
♪ Well my boy was singin' out ♪
♪ 'Cause you know we sing this ♪
♪ Ridin' on that passenger train ♪
♪ My boy he sings out ♪
♪ 'Cause You know he's singin' deeper ♪
♪ Riding on that passenger train ♪
♪ He don't care if you
look him in the eye ♪
♪ He's gettin' his way ♪
♪ You know he's gettin' by ♪
♪ Open the window, close the door ♪
♪ I'm going out with the band ♪
(Tony laughs)
(beep)
- It fell right back into the plastic bag.
- [Director] Okay, let me
see your face here, dubber.
- Oh, man, hey.
(people laughing)
- [Crew member] Grant, pull
your coat up on your shoulder
a little bit, it's coming down too far.
- Sassy thing.
- [Director] I don't see you anywhere.
- Is this attractive?
(people laughing)
- [Commentator] People
Magazine's sexiest man alive.
- [Director] Actually wait a minute,
there's a couple of dead ones.
Can you get them?
Oh, they're all dead.
- Yeah.
- Oh, all right,
just grab 'em.
- [Tony] Fish are color blind.
- They weren't color blind when I had
my light green sprinter jig.
Since I had.
What the hell's wrong with me?
(jaunty music)
- I had the wrong pants on.
(woman laughing)
♪ Hallelujah, hallelujah ♪
♪ Hallelujah to the Lord ♪
♪ Hallelujah, hallelujah ♪
♪ Hallelujah to the Lord ♪
(shouting and screaming)
(voice singing)
♪ Looking down, looking down ♪
♪ Open the window, hallelujah ♪
♪ Hallelujah to the Lord ♪
♪ Open the window, close the door ♪
♪ I'm going out with the band ♪
♪ Said now ♪
♪ Open the window, close the door ♪
♪ I'm going out with the band ♪
♪ Open the window, close the door ♪
♪ I'm going out with the band ♪
♪ Said now ♪
♪ Open the window, close the door ♪
♪ I'm going out with the band ♪
(gentle music)
(spring boinging)
(faster music)
(crowd cheering)
(man laughing)
♪ I just want to catch the fishes ♪
♪ I just want to catch the fish ♪
♪ I just want to dig the fishes ♪
(ice crunching)
(crowd cheering)
(man laughing)
(crowd whistling)
(slower music)
(man gasping)
- Oh Sam, Sam.
Come on.
(man sighing)
(man taking deep breaths)
Oh yeah.
Hey, come on,
Samson.
(door sliding)
(dog barking)
(man shivering)
(jaunty music)
(urine splattering)
(feet scraping)
(man sighing)
(jaunty music)
(plate clattering)
(man sniffing)
(lively string music)
(phone beeping)
(man sighing)
Hey Bern.
Oh, geez, I'm sorry.
Yeah, well same to you fella!
(man sighing)
(glasses case clatters)
(phone beeping)
Hey Bern, this is Tony.
I was just wondering if you might
want to join me out on the ice today.
Give me a call as soon as you can.
Alright, bye.
(phone beeps)
(man sighing)
Hello, hi.
Yeah, I'm looking for Billy, is he there?
Oh really, on a Saturday?
Oh, okay, thanks.
(upbeat rhythmic music)
(bell ringing)
Willaby, you here?
(radio playing in the background)
♪ Don't know why I sleep around ♪
♪ All you do ... ♪
- Hey Tony.
- Geez, Willaby, you scared me!
- Ooh, it looks like you
picked a fine lure there, Tony.
- [Tony] Yeah, can you help
me get this thing out of here?
(Tony laughing)
- Here.
Give me the see.
- [Tony] Ow!
- Sorry about that.
- That's all right.
- Tell you one thing, you got good taste.
That is an expensive lure.
- I don't want the lure Willaby,
I just came in for some minnows.
- Well, I've been selling them like crazy.
Follow me.
(Tony sighs)
How many you want?
- Oh, a couple dozen ought to do it.
Hey, have you heard where they're biting?
- [Willaby] Everywhere,
where have you been?
Perch are punching holes
through the ice from underneath,
just to escape.
(Tony laughing)
You'll be doing them a favor.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Man, these little
beauties are guaranteed
to drive them crazy.
Big ones too.
- Well, that's what I'm after.
(sighing)
- See the,
the lure
and the minnows
comes to $8.60.
- I don't want the lur ... nevermind.
- So you out by yourself today?
- Yeah, but that's okay.
I was supposed to go to my mother-in-law's
for a birthday deal,
but you know, I wasn't feeling well.
(Willaby laughs)
- So you're still that bad, hey?
- Could be sick all weekend for sure.
At least till this afternoon
when the party's over.
(Willaby laughing)
Hey, I love those things.
Give me a couple, would ya?
- Yeah.
- And make it four, I'm having a pang.
(bag rustling)
(Tony mms)
(Willaby laughing)
You are the Wolfgang Puck
of the pickled egg world.
- That'll get things moving.
That's 10 bucks to you.
- Mm.
(Tony grunts)
You know I watched a
fishing report this morning,
they said conditions are
supposed to be perfect today.
- I don't know how they can figure that.
- It's the barometric pressure,
stuff like that.
See you later Willaby.
Oh, if anyone asks, I wasn't here.
- Who wasn't here?
(Tony laughing)
- Exactly!
(upbeat music)
(Tony yells)
(Tony growls)
(hands bang on the window)
Jeez.
Hello?
- You can't park here.
Get your piece of crap out of here!
- I always park here.
- The space needs to be clear.
Move it!
- (laughing) All right, already, Jeez.
(hand slams on the window)
(hands bang on the glass)
(car metal crunches)
(woman laughing)
(metal squeaking)
Oh man!
(Tony sighs)
(engine roaring)
(sled scraping on the ice)
(engine purring)
- Norgard!
- Ah Stormy, you are just in time.
Can I get a ride?
- Hang on, man.
Whoa!
- Hey, I heard the fish are cooperating.
- You heard right.
- All right.
(Stormy whoops)
Giddy up!
- Hang on!
(engine growls)
(they both scream)
- Ahh!
- Yeah, baby.
(engines roaring)
Ah, it's great out.
(sled crunches)
- See you've got a zebra
theme going this year?
- Actually, it's an homage to Ted.
- The Nouge?
- Motor city madman.
- Yeah!
(they laugh)
(Tony sighs)
Man, I love it out here.
- No place I'd rather be.
(wild west style music)
(shivering)
(door clatters)
- My bait broke last night.
- No kidding, it only got to 15.
- I know.
So can I borrow some of your minnows?
- Oh, I don't know, I only got two dozen.
- Oh, these are beauty.
Hey I'll er,
I'll trade you some jerky for 'em.
- Jerky?
- Jerky.
- From Max?
- Where else.
- All right, I can
spare a couple, I guess.
- I'll be right back.
(door slams)
- Okay, let's see here.
(upbeat wild west music)
(Tony sighs)
(Tony sighing)
Bastards.
(line spinning)
All right.
Wherever you are, I'm
gonna get ya. (laughs)
(phone ringing)
(zip scraping)
Oh.
(Tony coughs dramatically)
Hello.
(coughing) Oh, hi Lila.
Ah, a little better, I guess.
(fishing line squeaking)
Well, aah, thanks for calling,
but I don't really want to keep ya.
(boxes crashing)
Oh, nothing, just something
fell off the bed. (laughs)
How's mother?
Oh, that's great. (coughs)
Please tell her I send my love.
Yeah,
uh huh.
Oh I'll try to call it
four, like you said.
(coughing and sniffing)
Okay.
You too. Bye.
Ahh.
Oh, come on.
(he sighs)
(door clattering)
- (laughs) Jerky as promised
und (mug bangs on the wood)
(Stormy makes slurping noises)
- Excellent!
- Yeah.
- Help yourself.
- Thank you, sir.
(Tony sighs)
Oh beautiful.
- Oh, I had a nice bite.
- Yeah?
- Yeah, it had to be a walleye or a piker.
You know, maybe it was a jumbo perch.
Yeah, whatever it was, it was big.
I could tell by the way it was fighting.
- Could be man, they're biting all over.
- Oh,
man, this jerky is
awesome!
- (laughing) All right.
- You know, there's a hole
there for you if you want it.
- Oh, um thanks man but
I'm sat next door.
You got a nice deal here though.
- Well, thanks, I like it.
It's a little stuffy though.
Cold, but stuffy.
- Mmm, you.
(water splashing)
Norgard,
bless you.
- I'm going to see if I can get
that big boy to come back.
- You know,
I have a good feeling about today.
- Me too.
(bluesy guitar and harmonica music)
Ahh!
Oh,
oh God!
(water splashing)
- Norgard, are you okay?
- Aw, I had 'im.
(Stormy laughing)
It was a jumbo perch, for sure.
- Oh, the same one?
- Probably, jumped back in the hole.
- I hate when that happens.
- Oh man, I love the hunt.
- Yeah.
- [Tony] It's so primal.
- An age old challenge.
- Man and beast.
- Hmm.
(bluesy music)
- Oh, slime, ah.
- [Wolowski] Right small.
- [Sam] Are you kidding me?
- [Wolowski] Uh-ah.
- That little thing?
I've had pimples bigger
than that poor little thing.
- Now that doesn't surprise me.
- All right, wait, wait,
wait, let me try that again.
Here's the deal.
You're never going to catch one
like the dude that I
caught out here last year
and that's that.
That fish was four foot long.
- I was there.
For the record, it was three years ago
and that thing was 30 inches tops.
I've caught bigger ones since.
Hell, everyone's caught
bigger ones than that.
- Bosh!
(Tony sighs)
- Hey, what's up Tony?
- Hey, just enjoying
some of this paradise.
- (laughing) Hey, your old
man not out here today?
- Nah, he had to go to a birthday party.
- Birthday party? (laughs)
Go party! (laughing)
- Excuse me.
- Hey, sure.
Birthday party! (laughing)
- March it.
(can crunching)
(man growling)
- Need to lose some weight.
- Hey, what are you doing here Pop?
- What do you mean,
"What am I doing here?"
What are you doing here?
- Aren't you supposed to
be at a birthday party?
- It's not till two.
It's only half past
10, I got tons of time.
- Well actually the party's at four.
- There you go, better yet. (laughs)
Now, what's your excuse?
- Well, if you must know,
I wasn't feeling that well last night
and I thought it would be
better if I rested up some,
but come this morning, I felt fine.
Go figure.
- That's pathetic.
- Hey, I'd go,
but I might still be
contagious or something.
- Whatever. (laughs)
Don't you have a
shanty around here somewhere?
- Yeah, it's over here.
Why don't you join me?
Come on, Pop.
It's warm, I got fresh jerky.
- Lead the way.
(Pop sighs)
So what's new?
- At school?
- Whatever.
- Ah, the kids are a bit of a pain,
but they're a good bunch.
- You're still teaching gym?
- Athletics, Pop.
- Ah.
- Yeah.
- Well school never did much for me,
ha, especially that athletics, ha,
going naked in the shower, ooh.
- That's not that big a deal.
- Well, it was for me,
I wasn't that big a jock,
then.
- Ha, no kidding.
Hey, I know how you feel, Pop.
- Yeah, better you than
me, yeah boy. (laughs)
Hey, ha ha, would you look at this.
What is it, a new coop?
Pretty snazzy boy.
- Bought it off old man Peterson,
fixed it up over the summer.
Do you like it?
- Yeah I do, I do.
(shivers)
Yeah.
- What have you got for bait?
- Bait?
- Yeah, you know,
minnows, wigglers, wax worms?
- Well actually, I didn't
stop off at the store today.
- Well, what the heck
are you going to use?
- Well, there's plenty
of bait hanging around.
Matter of fact, I was
thinking of going down there
to old man Flanagan
Shannon, you know. (laughs)
He's always got high
hopes and too much bait.
(Frank laughing)
(Tony sighs)
All right, so what have you got?
- Minnows.
We might have to go get more.
- What for?
We'll just split 'em.
- Well sure, Pop.
But Stormy took some.
Well, there's got to be 16 left.
You can have eight.
- No, no, then listen.
Just split 'em and you, you, you,
they make 'em, make 'em
last longer, that's all.
- In half?
- Yeah!
- I don't think that's a very good idea.
- Why not? A lot of guys do it.
- Er, what other guys?
- Besides, what the
hell is a fishing hole?
- Yeah, but some fellas use marshmallows
or peanut butter or beans.
That doesn't mean it works.
- Ah well, hey, (laughs)
suit yourself.
- Yeah, I'm not doing it.
You can have whole minnows.
- All right.
Ahh,
here we go.
Here we go.
You know,
there's only three
regrets in a man's life.
- Yeah, what's that, Pop?
- When he proposes,
when he doesn't propose
and when he isn't fishin'!
(they laugh)
- That's not even funny.
- It's not supposed to be. (laughs)
- Salut!
- Here we go.
- Ahh.
Oh boy.
Give me one of them fish there with a ...
That's it.
- There we go.
- That's it, you got it.
You got it, all right.
Put it right on there, like I taught ya.
(laughs)
- There you go.
- All right, hey, all right.
There we go.
Yeah, so how's Lila?
- Oh, she's fine.
- Yeah?
- I had to borrow her car.
- You brought her car
down here to the Lake?
She's gonna be PO'd, boy.
- Yeah, I know.
But she took my truck,
what was I supposed to do?
- Man, you got guts.
- That ain't the half of it.
I already backed it into a truck
and busted out the tail light.
- You gotta be kidding.
Well, how are you going to explain that?
- Oh, I haven't really
thought that through yet.
- Well, good luck.
Hey, have you got your license?
You always forget it, you know.
- Yeah, I got it.
- (laughs) Yeah, a little
fishy in the brook,
Papa catch 'im on the hook,
- [Both Singing] On the fly and in the pan
Baby, even like a man. (they laugh)
(jaunty music)
(Pop snoring)
(Pop burping)
- Well.
(loud snoring)
(water splashing)
(fishing rod clattering)
(men snoring)
(loud rock music)
(people shouting)
(engine revving)
(people shouting)
(rock music)
(engines roaring)
- Surprised that thing even made it!
- Jack, what are you talking about?
This thing's running great.
- Yeah?
(metal slams)
How great?
- Great great.
- How about down to North
Bay Point and back, huh?
- You're on!
(helmets clash)
(upbeat racing music)
(engines roaring)
(people cheering)
(engines roaring)
(dramatic music)
(Tony sighing)
(ice crunching)
(can clinking)
- What the hell?
Where's my fishing pole?
- I dunno, mine's gone too.
- Now that's odd.
- Hmm.
(fast orchestral music)
(riders laughing)
(metal snapping)
- [Rider] Get out of the way!
(rider shouting)
(engine droning)
(rider screaming)
Look out!
(wood shattering)
- What the Sam Hill?
Come on.
- Nice move Mario!
- You jerk!
You can't race anybody.
- You don't know how to do these.
- C'mon let's get it back over there.
- The brake is on the left!
- What are we locked in here for good now?
- Hang on, hang on!
(men grunting)
- Oh man!
- Hey!
- What the hell's going on out here?
What is this, some kind
of dream or something?
- No, this is the real deal, Pop.
(Stormy laughing)
- It's like you finally got
that ventilation problem fixed
you were talking about. (laughing)
Man, you guys catch anything?
- Nothing but Zzzs.
- I am doing great.
Perch mostly,
but some big ones and they smelt ugh.
(teeth crunch)
Mm.
- Stormy, what are you doing?
- Mm, we take the smell
from the beer can,
leave a little bit of beer in there,
put it over the heater.
Takes awhile, but.
- [Tony] Oh, it looks terrible.
- Mm, kind of an acquired taste.
- Somebody stole our fishing poles.
- Why?
- Don't ask me why, somebody
stole them, that's all.
- Man, those sleds are
gonna need some work.
- Yeah, this isn't the first
time this has happened.
(glove whacks the man)
- My brakes gave out.
Man, I, I'm sorry about your shed.
We'll, we'll come back
in a little while and,
and and, and fix it, okay?
- All right, sure, sure, sure.
Come on, let's get back to work.
- All right, hey.
- Go, get 'em Frank.
- It's no big deal, okay.
Don't worry about it.
(Stormy laughs)
- You know, fishing is so good that er,
I'm almost out of bait.
- Yeah, well, don't look at me.
- Aw, come on.
(Tony laughs)
Fine, I'll head in and reload.
- Hey, if you're going, get
some for us too, all right.
- Will do.
- Oh man.
(whistling music)
(head bangs on wood)
Phwa, hand me a pole.
- Where?
Oh here.
- Thanks, Pop.
- Here.
This is my last pole.
Ha, I had a whole bucket
full of these things.
(Pop sighing)
Ha, ha.
Hello, baby.
There you go.
- Oh, I'm freezing in here.
- Ah, the heater's still on.
What are ya doin'?
- Ah God, sorry, Pop.
There we go.
- What are you doing?
- Just watch.
(whistling music)
- I kinda liked the fresh
air in here. (laughs)
- Hey, you got something.
- Hey, hey, hey.
Come on there, come on.
- All right.
Now we're getting somewhere.
- Ha, ha!
- You got the, whoa!
- You got some too.
- I told ya. (laughs)
Come on, sweetheart,
come on, come on.
Come on, baby, come on, come on.
There we go.
Get out of there, there we go.
Ha ha ha.
- Get outta that.
- Dinner.
Whoa, one bucket.
- Ahh.
- Oh!
(Pop laughing)
Come on, baby.
Come on, don't go back in the water.
Oh, daddy. (laughing)
(they both laugh)
- Whoo, ha.
- That one's coming in the back ...
- Come on, baby, come on.
Come on, baby, come on, come on, come on.
- Ahhh.
- Come on, baby.
All right.
It's okay.
(laughing)
(knuckles rapping on the door)
- Yeah, come in.
- Afternoon, gentlemen.
- Oh hi, how are ya?
- What can we do for ya?
- Oh, I'm just checking in.
How's it going fellas?
- Oh, pretty good.
Mostly.
- Can I see your license?
- Sure.
Let's see.
Gotta be in here somewhere.
- There, here's mine.
Thank you.
Ha, ha, Doug, come on baby.
Hell, take your time.
- I wonder if I left it in my glove box?
(Pop laughs)
I, (laughs) I don't have it with me.
- Can I see your driver's license?
- Okay.
(sled zooms past)
Anthony Norgard.
Is this your current residence?
- Yeah.
- You know, you're supposed
to carry the license with you.
- Told ya.
- I could probably give out
over a thousand dollars worth of
tickets out here today, but
I'm in a good mood.
You come by with your license
around the DNR office on Monday.
I'll forget all about it.
- Oh thank you, you're a saint.
- But you're gonna have to quit fishing
in the meantime.
- Oh, come on.
- I could vouch for him, sir.
I know he has the license.
- It doesn't really matter.
No license, no fishing.
- No, can't I just finish out the day?
- Norgard, Norgard.
Is that your little red
Probe over by the boat ramp?
- It's my wife's actually.
Why?
- I just put a ticket on the windshield.
- Oh, come on.
- Parked illegally.
(Tony sighs)
Next time you go fishing,
bring your license.
- Well, there you go, ha.
(Pop speaks German)
- Hell, he's probably not
coming back here today.
There are 500 shanties out here.
- Yeah.
(door crashes)
- Oh, by the way,
I think you might wanna know,
there's a tow truck pulled up
next to your
little car.
- What?
(door clatters)
Oh!
I can't relax out here.
I'll see you later, Pop.
- Okay.
Oh wait, where's that drip
you with talking about?
- Oh, it's over there
on the shelf in a bag.
Help yourself.
- Thank you.
- Hey!
Untie it, untie it, what are you doing?
You're gunna rip that thing apart.
- That yours?
- It's my wife's.
- I heard that's the first car for women
designed by women.
- Really?
- Either you do it or I do it.
One way or another,
gotta come outta here.
(Tony sighs)
- All right.
Be gentle.
- You bet.
(rock music)
(horn beeps loudly)
(car squeaking)
(jaunty music)
(door handle rattles)
- Shit.
(jaunty music)
(door handle rattles)
(Tony scraping the ice)
(sighing)
Okay.
C'mon, ahh.
(device boings)
Oh, come on.
(dog growls)
(paws scrabble)
(jaunty music)
(window scrapes)
Ahh.
(metal scraping)
(feet clattering)
(sack thuds)
(Tony sighs)
(springy music)
(voices chattering)
- [Lila] They look pretty different.
(voices chattering)
Yeah, okay.
(voices chattering)
- [Mom] Okay.
(voices chattering)
Wait a minute.
(women laughing)
You know it should be.
(voices chattering)
Holy cow, d'ya think we could?
Yeah, but you had the
other special dish for it.
I'll look good on the table.
(springy music)
(window squeaking)
(door clattering)
(glove box door rattles)
(door slamming)
(Tony whistles)
(objects rattle)
(glove box door slamming)
(Tony whistling)
(car door clattering)
(door slams)
(women arguing)
(springy music)
(wheels rumbling)
(Tony sighs)
(birds singing)
(Tony sneezes)
(tires bursting)
(brakes screeching)
(air whooshing)
(traffic zooming)
(door clattering)
Oh.
(Tony sighs)
(Uptempo weird music)
(fly buzzing)
(radio playing)
(hands clapping)
(bell ringing)
- Damn files on me,
where they come from?
- Hey, Willaby, I need more minnows.
- Oh, you must be pulling 'em in.
- (laughs) We're doing all right.
(Tony sighs)
- Where's your bucket?
- Aw, I left it in the shanty.
- I keep these bags around.
How many?
- Two dozen ought to do it.
(laughing)
(water splashing)
(Elvis singing on the radio)
- There you go.
Saw Lila a little while ago.
- What are you talking about?
- She was at the market.
I stepped out for some lunch,
bought a couple of those ham
and provolone croissants.
I love those things.
- Did you talk to her?
- Just to say hi,
- You didn't tell her you saw me, did you?
- Actually I asked her where you were,
being Saturday and all.
(they laugh)
- You did not!
- Did so.
- What did she say?
- Said you were still
home in bed. (laughs)
Said she had to get
back to her mom's house.
(Tony laughs)
Party an' all.
- Willaby, you got guts.
(Willaby laughs)
- So, $2.50.
- All right.
♪ There ain't nobody ♪
- Hey, some guys stopped
in a little while ago,
said they thought they'd hooked
a monster pike or something,
then that thing busted off.
- I thought they caught
that thing last year.
- Na, they said this one's bigger.
- Oh yeah, they all say that.
(Willaby laughing)
Hey, what time is it?
- It's, er almost two.
- Oh well, I got some fish to catch.
Thanks Willaby.
(uptempo weird music)
God,
shit.
(car tires rumbling)
(Tony groaning)
(jaunty music)
(sleds zooming)
(weird music)
- Hey.
- Ah, got more minnows
and I found my license.
- (laughs) They're not biting on minnows.
- Oh yeah? What?
- Ha, they're turnin' up on
my light green sprinter jig.
Hell, I ran out of
minerals over an hour ago.
- Way to go, Pop.
(Pop laughing)
- Oh but it's starting to happen here.
Got another one, aha boy.
Hey, come on in, baby.
Hey, looka here, looka here, looka here.
(Pop laughing)
You know, old Stormy next door,
she caught a 28 inch walleye.
- Well, now that you
got the fish fired up,
they're gonna love these beauties.
- Na, na, na, na.
Here, here's the dead wood
of the future right here.
- Baa.
- Come on, sweetheart, there you go.
That's it.
Okay.
(Pop sings nonsense words to himself)
- What are you doing?
- Ssh.
- Oh, for crying out loud.
(Pop continues singing)
(Pop laughing)
Oh Jeez.
- There you go.
(Pop laughing)
- Wait.
- Got one!
Wait, wait, wait, wait a minute.
Hold it, hold it.
- Holy crap,
these fish are too big
to pull through the hole.
Hand me that flashlight.
(groaning) Here, hold it.
- [Pop] What are you crazy?
Look at this.
Your minnow swam into my lure.
- That's not possible.
- What do you mean it's not possible?
Look at this, look at this.
Look at this.
- All right,
so they're tangled.
Hand me that knife.
(Pop groans)
- Here, hold onto that rod.
Now be careful down there.
- Okay.
- All right.
You see it?
- Yup.
- Ahh, boy.
- Got it.
Look.
There we go.
What?
- That was a $7 lure.
I bought it in Minnesota in 1969.
- Come on, Pop.
You got a tackle box full of those things.
- Not light green ones!
- Sorry, Pop.
(Pop sighs)
Oh, come don't just sit there.
Try another lure.
Use the middle, I got plenty.
Here.
(Pop groans)
- Yeah, let me try.
Yeah, I'll try this one.
- Yeah, that's the spirit.
There we go.
- [Pop] That's about as big
as the bait you're usin'. (laughs)
- Oh, okay, get back
in there little buddy.
Come on, go on, swim home to mommy.
Okay, time to swim home.
Come on little fish, you go home to mama.
Come-
(water gushing)
(Tony yelling)
Crap almighty, what was that?
Pop, did you see that?
- Ssh.
- Pop!
(Pop sings nonsense song)
Pop!
(someone shouting outside)
(doors slamming)
- Oh, son of a bitch!
- Stormy, are you all right?
What happened?
- (breathing heavily) I'm in my shanty,
I'm brushing away the ice from the hole
and all of a sudden this,
this, this thing comes up
and (makes gushing noises).
- He visited me too.
- You saw it? You saw it?
- No, I didn't see him, but he went after
this little perch that I was throwing back
and splash, like hell,
look, I'm still all wet.
- Jeez.
God it hurts.
- Ooh.
(Stormy groans)
You need to see a doctor.
- (sighs) Good Lord, what was that?
It was like all teeth!
- I don't know.
It was like a pike or something.
It was very aggressive.
- Tell me!
- [Pop] Are you guys
gonna be quiet out there?
- He thinks that the
fish can hear us up here.
(Stormy sighing)
Hey Stormy wait, where are you going?
You gotta see a doctor.
- Screw that, I'm going
to catch that thing.
- Not if I catch it first.
- Ooh.
(door slamming)
- That is the perfect parking spot.
- These fish do not like yellow.
- The fish are colorblind, Pop.
- They weren't so colorblind when I had
my light green spinner jig
that I had since 1969.
(Tony sighing)
What are you after now?
- Oh, I'm going to
catch that monster pike.
You should've seen what it
did to Stormy's fingers.
Man.
- You know, it kind of reminds me
when I was canoeing down
south of here one time.
Ha, there was a little duck,
it must've been sleeping, you
know, going down to the river.
And then I followed along
and I came right up behind him, you know,
and I didn't want to scare him away.
So I'm goin' along, goin'
along, easy does it,
and then right up alongside of him
and I touched him with my paddle
and he was dead.
And I flipped 'im over
and the whole underside
had been bitten away,
probably some muskie or a pike.
- That's why I don't
go swimming over there.
- Oh, that's probably smart.
Well, I think I've had it for today
(groaning) if I can get
this thing outta here.
There we go.
All right, that's enough of that.
Whoo, I got a whole mess load to clean.
Oh man, we're going to
have a meal tomorrow.
(hands clapping)
(Pop laughing)
Wanna come over?
- Oh yeah!
- Oh, no, no, you'll be sick though.
- Oh, I might be better by then.
- Well, all right.
Hey, what time are you goin'?
- I don't know, let me
check the cell phone.
Quarter after three.
- Oh, I'm late, I'm late.
Give me a hand there will ya?
- Sure thing, Pop.
- Maybe you ought to come
with me to that party.
You know, there's going
to be all kinds of trouble
If Lila finds out that you were at,
out here all day.
Nobody's gonna know or care.
I attended tons of those things.
- Yeah?
Well it's going to be fun to
see you wiggle out of this one.
(Pop laughing)
Yeah, now we're all set.
- Right down,
there you go Pop.
- Okay.
You sure you won't come, eh?
I'd have to take Lila's car anyway
and I gotta get that thing home.
- Hey, when you get to be my age,
you'll know which battles to pick.
See ya later, sonny boy.
- It was a good day, Pop.
- All right. (laughs)
(jaunty music)
- Hey, guys.
- Howdy.
- Oh, hey.
Have you guys run across
the seriously big pike around here?
- We have, why?
- That thing almost ripped my
face off and it bit Stormy.
(equipment clatters)
- It bit Stormy?
Where's your shanty?
- Right over there.
- Mind if we join ya?
- That thing's been on
our list for a long time.
- Oh, that thing did that?
- Last year, right out here.
I figured either it had been caught,
(can rattling)
or died off by now.
- Well, if that's not him,
then it's his twin brother.
- Sure you don't mind?
- Not at all, let's go.
- C'mon.
(jaunty music)
- Tell me about the pike.
- I saw it right there.
- What were you using for bait?
- Minnows, but it went
after a small perch.
- That's good.
(Tony sighing)
(friend laughing)
Check this out.
(men laughing)
- Oh, I've seen those in the catalogs.
Does it work?
- Surprisingly well.
(men laughing)
- Aw, that is so sweet!
- Ah, that looked like a perch.
- I'd love to see that thing.
- The pike?
- [Friend] Yup.
- Oh man, what time is it?
Four or five, okay.
Can you guys be real quiet?
(can slamming on the floor)
Okay.
(equipment clattering)
Oh!
(water splashing)
Crap, crap, crap!
Oh man, I just got that thing.
I knew I should have got
the insurance. (sighs)
Do one of you guys have
a cell phone I can use?
- Here, sure.
Here.
Don't drop it.
- All right, shh.
(man giggling)
(coughing) All right, mom.
Happy birthday.
Oh, I wish I could be there.
(coughing) Did Lila bake you a cake?
Oh, that's great.
Yeah, (coughs) oh, I'm
fine, I'm just resting.
(friends start coughing)
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, er Lila, no I just really-
Hi Lila.
(friends coughing)
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
It sounds like mom's having
a great birthday party.
Yeah.
Did dad, did dad make it?
No?
I thought he was, nevermind.
Well I should probably,
what?
Oh, the number?
Oh, (coughing) I borrowed
a phone from a friend.
He came over to visit.
Sam, you remember Sam?
What?
Oh, really, what does it say?
Alvin Thompson?
Well, that's a friend of
Sam's, yeah. (coughing)
Well I actually probably let you go.
I don't want to use up all
of Sam's, Al's minutes.
So yeah.
All right, I love you too.
Bye.
What, what, why the what?
Oh great.
Well, what time can I expect you?
Oh, wonderful.
Yeah.
Hey, (coughs) could you
stop by on the way home
and pick me up some of that
Mackinac Island fudge ice cream
that I like so much?
Oh, thanks. (coughing)
Yeah, you too.
Bye.
Who's Alvin Thompson?
- That's his uncle.
- [Tony] Oh, hey.
That's old man Woodgates' old snowmobile.
- It's gotta be a classic.
(they all laugh)
- Oh, hey, there's my phone.
Oh, I wonder if that thing still works.
(phone ringing)
(laughing) That's amazing.
- [Friend] Wow.
- What the ...
(they all scream)
Holy crap!
That sucker ate my phone!
- That fish had to be four feet long.
- More like six.
- What was it?
- I'd say it was the biggest pike
this state has ever seen.
- You think that's what's been
jumping up through the holes?
- Maybe.
(door bangs)
- Come in.
- What's going on in here?
Where's your dad?
- He had to leave.
- Are you guys the Wolowskis?
- He is, I'm Idelman, Sam Idelman.
- Sam Idelman.
Oh I'm sorry, I'm Stormy.
It's,
well, it's an honor to meet you both.
You guys are legends around here.
- You're the one that got bit by the fish?
- How do you hear about that?
- We've been talking about it.
- That fish did that to you?
- Last year.
- We've got to get that thing.
- That's what I say.
- Whoa, what'd you got there?
- Oh, I got that for Christmas.
Pretty cool, isn't it?
- (laughs) Yeah, Tony dropped
his cell phone down the hole.
We got a great picture of it.
Framed up perfectly.
- And then that fish came
by and scooped it up,
like it was a piece of meat.
- Unbelievable.
Wait, wait, actually that is unbelievable.
- No, it's true.
- I saw it with my own eyes, Stormy.
- We gotta get that thing.
- How are we gonna do that?
- I don't know exactly.
- Well, listen, I only got an hour,
so fellas let's get at it.
- [Wolowski] Yeah, sure.
Oh.
(they all laugh)
- They love the cheese.
(snowmobile rumbling)
- So the thing came over the hill
and I could tell it was
frothing at the mouth.
Threw down my riser, come on.
- That's the stupidest
thing I've ever heard.
- I swear on my mother's grave.
- Sh, well, what happened then?
- Oh, I managed to get
it into a head lock.
He wrestled around for a little while.
- That was the eight pointer?
- 10.
- Aww!
- I'm not kidding, the thing
was enormous, it was huge.
So finally used an old jujitsu move
my dad taught me when I
was in the Marine Corps.
Got it on my hip, flip the thing around.
Then my entire family all went around
that magnificent beast.
- How did I know that was exactly
what you were going to say, yeah?
- 'Cause it's true.
- Ha, ha, hey!
Did Wendell here actually ever kill
a ten point buck with his bare hands?
(woman sighs)
- See.
- That was no kind of an answer.
- Oh, Oh, Oh then,
14 point comes over the hill.
- Cut the bull stories, will ya!
- Yeah all right, but someday
you will ask me to tell you that story.
- Ho, ho, sure.
Hey, Stormy.
- Hey, Frank.
- Wanna beer?
- Ah, sounds good.
- Ah barkeep, one draft please.
Hey, how's the finger?
- Uh, I'll live.
Thanks Dave.
- Oh, I bet I know what happened.
- No you don't.
- Yeah, it was a fish, wasn't it?
- How do you know?
- Same thing happened to
me last weekend, look.
- [Stormy] Oh!
- What have we got?
Some kind of Jaws out here?
- I'm telling you what,
people are talking about it.
I saw Idelman and Wolowski
out at Tony's shanty.
- I'm listening.
- They saw it on their video thing.
- Well, you know, that Tony had something
jump out of his fishing hole
and, and I thought maybe
it was a muskie or a pike or something.
- Right, well they said,
they said they saw it swallow Tony's phone
after he dropped it in the lake.
- Are you on the level?
- Why would I make this up?
They're out there trying
to catch it right now.
- Yeah I hope they do.
That fish is a nuisance.
- Wendell?
- Mm?
- I bet you could feed your entire family
a whole winter on that magnificent beast.
- Ooh, I don't know,
that thing's been down
there an awful long time.
I got a feeling it's pretty tough.
- Ha, well, whoever brings
it in, if they bring it in,
it's gonna be one big deal.
That's for sure.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Hey, to the fish.
- To the fish.
- Arrr.
- Och.
- Bare hands.
- To the fish.
(glasses chink)
- Oh, oh good.
- Why don't you believe,
you never believe-
- No! Never!
(gentle guitar music)
- Oh crap, I gotta get out of here.
What time is it?
- 6:30.
- All right, here.
Sorry guys, shanty's closed.
- Come on, it's still early.
- Listen, if I don't get home right now,
(can splatters)
I'm in big trouble.
Come on, you guys,
there's gotta be a
bazillion shanties out here.
- Please, Tony, take it easy.
We'll close it up for you.
- Okay.
Sam, put those minnows over by you.
I'm gonna put 'em to good
use, hopefully tomorrow.
- No problem.
We're using bigger stuff, anyway.
- Oh, Let's see.
- Good luck
- Thanks.
(door banging)
(Sam sighing)
(jaunty music)
(sighs) What the?
Oh,
freaking comedians.
Figures.
- Hey, look who's here.
- Tony!
- What are you doing here, Pop?
You missed the party.
- Is it that late already?
- What's with all this,
ooh can't wait to see how you're going to
wiggle your way outta this one stuff.
(they laugh)
- Salut. (laughing)
- So, to what you're
hangin', did they catch it?
- No, and they're not gunna, either.
Idiots are fishing with cheese.
Legends?
- The man lost digits, Tony.
- (laughs) Okay,
so where's my car?
- What are you talking about?
- You know dang well
what I'm talking about,
where is it, out back?
- I never touched your car.
- Oh, come on.
You guys, this is really
funny and everything,
but I gotta be back home by eight o'clock
and that car has to go with me.
Cough it up.
- I haven't seen it since this morning
when you parked it between those trees.
Hey Tony, how'd you
manage to do that anyway?
- C'mon guys, enough is enough.
- Wait, wait, wait.
You guys really don't
know anything about this?
- [Pop] No.
- Okay, I don't either.
Where's the last place you parked it?
(Stormy chuckles)
- Where?
I was sure it was right here someplace.
Shanty's over there, this
was the perfect spot.
(Pop sighing)
- Hey, didn't there used
to be a spring around here?
- Oh God, somebody stole it.
- No offense, Tony,
but who around here is gunna want to steal
your wife's Probe?
Truck maybe, ATV, snowmobile, tricycle.
(Pop laughs)
- Er, fellas.
It wasn't stolen.
- [Wendell] Looks like you're
pretty well screwed, Tony.
(gentle rhythmic music)
- Here's what we're gonna do.
Somebody gets me home, right now.
I lock the garage door.
That way Lila can't park my truck inside.
She won't know her car is missing.
I'll get through tonight, somehow.
Then tomorrow I'll have it hauled out,
cleaned up and everything'll be fine.
That car needed a little work, anyway.
- That's the stupidest
thing I've ever heard.
My advice is go home and confess.
Lila will get over it,
someday. (laughs)
- Your dad is right, I totally agree.
- So you guys, I think
I can pull this off.
All I gotta do is keep
Lila out of the house
all day tomorrow while the car gets fixed.
Come tomorrow night, everything is normal.
- I'm not married like you, but
my guess is that's a pretty terrible plan.
(Tony's knees crash on the snow)
- What?
- You guys are right.
(Stormy laughing)
She has to forgive me, right?
I got to feeling better, right?
I had to go fishing, right?
- [Pop] Right.
- What was I supposed to do?
Sit around all day?
- [Pop] Of course not.
- [Stormy] No.
- All right.
(Wendell laughing)
Oh, she's gonna kill me.
(Pop laughs)
She's gonna kill me.
- You might've deserved this one.
(people laughing)
(dramatic music)
- (sighs) I am so stupid.
- Well, that's just something
she won't forget for a while,
that's for sure.
- Do you wanna come in with me?
- Oh, you quivering little pup.
Take it like a man.
So okay, you made a couple of bad moves.
Go in and say you're sorry
and get it over with.
- Yeah, you're probably right.
- Ah, besides it's not like it's
coming out of left field, you know,
you've made plenty of stupid moves before.
- Gee, thanks Pop.
- You're welcome.
(jaunty music)
(Tony sighs)
(car door slams)
(garage door rattles)
(dog barking)
- Hi, sweetie.
- What did you do to my car?
That thing's all beat to crap,
smells like rotten eggs,
what the hell happened?
- I'm really sorry, Lila.
Did you have a nice time with your mom?
(hand whacks Tony's face)
- I am so mad at you.
You are gonna fix that
car, every last thing.
What is the matter with you?
You're just like him!
Idiot! (growls)
- Wait a second.
How did you get the car back here?
- I came home early,
saw that my car was missing,
you weren't around, two plus two.
- So you went out to the lake?
I drove your truck out to the lake,
saw my car parked on the ice,
traded back my sweet
little car and came home.
I can't believe you did this.
So why didn't you drive your truck home?
- Oh man.
(Lila growls)
- Okay mom, you're welcome.
I love you too, bye.
Happy birthday.
Mom says stick it in your ear.
- She did not.
She should've.
(Tony sighs)
So what are you going to do?
- I don't think I can get a
wrecker out there till Monday.
- Well, maybe you need a day off.
- Very funny.
Hey,
why don't you let me
take you and your mom out
to Sunday dinner tomorrow?
They got that new
restaurant in Prudenville,
it's supposed to be really nice.
- That's a cheap shot.
- Yeah, I know, but I'm just so sorry.
I guess I thought maybe in some way
this might help you and
your mom forgive me?
- Whatever.
- So I'll meet you around two?
- (giggles) Sure.
(phone ringing)
Hello?
Sure, just a minute.
It's the sheriff.
He wants to talk with you.
- Hello?
Yeah.
Oh, you're kidding me.
Oh, no, don't worry.
I'll have it out of
there by then for sure.
Yeah, thanks.
Oh, hey, hey,
you wouldn't happen to know somebody
who could snag that
thing for me, would ya?
Really?
All right, hold on.
(phone clatters)
You there?
Go ahead.
7613.
Alright, thanks.
Yeah, I know.
Hey look, I really
appreciate all your help.
All right, bye.
(phone beeping)
Hello?
Yeah.
I had my truck go through
the ice on Houghton Lake.
Yeah, well it's a ways out
there, that's for sure.
Yeah, but.
Okay.
Do you think there's any way
we could get that thing out tomorrow?
Really?
Oh no, that's great.
Yeah, I'll meet you there.
All right, bye.
(Tony sighs)
What do you suppose the odds of me
borrowing your car tomorrow morning are?
- After church?
- Well, since the sheriff gave me 24 hours
to somehow get that thing out of there,
I kind of think I need all
the daylight I can get.
- I agree with you on that one.
I can get a ride to church, take it.
- You're the best.
- So what's this little
rescue going to cost?
- He didn't exactly say.
- Sure you have time for a Sunday dinner?
- Oh yeah.
No, I'll go over first thing.
We'll have it out by noon, easy.
- Okay, I'll call mom.
- I'll meet you guys at the restaurant.
- Whatever.
- (sighs) What a day. (laughs)
I'm beat.
I'm gonna go to bed.
- Goodnight.
(spooky music)
(water splashing)
(boards rattling)
(exciting music)
(crashing and banging)
(water splashing)
(spooky music)
- I sure do appreciate
you coming outta here
on a Sunday an all.
Have you pulled stuff
out of the lake before?
- Couple of times.
Hey,
you that guy with a red Probe?
- That's my wife's car.
- Thought you looked familiar.
- I still don't know how that thing
got between those two trees.
Somebody's messing with me.
- Yeah, that was a tight fit for sure.
- Well, it's right here.
(sighing)
(rod splashing the water)
(water splashing)
10,
20,
30, there it is.
Ah, it's down there.
That's er, too deep for me,
you might have to wait till spring.
- Yeah, I don't know about that.
The sheriff was very clear.
He said I have to have
the truck out by today.
- (laughs) Well I don't
see that happening.
- Oh, come on.
You look like a clever guy.
How would you do it?
- You're screwed.
(Tony sighs)
So listen, I got a lot of other stuff
I need to be doing so er.
- If you think of something,
will you give me a call?
- Yeah, sure.
- Hey.
(pole whacks on the snow)
(jaunty guitar music)
(snowmobile engine roars)
(Stormy sighs)
- Did you hear the latest about the fish?
- What now?
- Something
got into the shanties last night,
ate up all the bait.
- Are you serious?
- No sign of entry.
Even emptied out the lock hoops.
- You know, I was thinking
about this last night.
My grandpa used to tell a story like this.
It's happened around here before.
It turns out it was this big smart pike
or maybe it was a muskie, I forget.
- See, I've been here for years.
I've never heard anything
like it until last night.
- [Both] Crazy.
- So did you figure out
how to raise the Probe?
Listen to this.
Turns out Lila came out here last night
and brought my truck and traded with me.
Yeah, that's right.
That's my truck underneath the ice.
- Holy, what are you gonna do?
- Actually, I'm still working on that.
- Hm.
- Might as well go check out my shanty.
- Yeah. (laughs)
(rapid guitar music)
(engine purring)
- Hey, Stormy?
- Yeah.
- I always wanted to ask you something.
- What?
- I don't know.
I see ya out here all the time, alone.
I've always wondered,
do you have any family
around here or anything?
- It's always just me and my dad.
You know, he worked for the railroad.
He died when I was 14.
He always used to take me fishing.
I don't know.
Now I work at the ER, it's just crazy.
(sighs) I like,
I like the alone time.
I like how simple it all is.
(brass music)
(sighs)
And I like to watch the people.
- Well er,
I'm glad to know ya.
- Glad to know you too, Norgard.
(Tony laughs)
(melancholy string music)
(door clattering)
- Oh.
- Holy smokes.
Whoa.
- This thing was full of minnows.
- Crazy, huh?
- (gasps) I'll bet it's that same
son of a B that ate my cell phone.
(can clatters on the ground)
- And tried to ruin my Frenchies.
- So he's going from
coop to coop at night,
stealing food.
(Stormy sighs)
Oh man, this jerky was the Cajun-flavored.
He's got an appetite,
he cleaned me right out.
You know,
I swear I still had a pickled egg or two
lying around here someplace.
- I talk to everybody.
It's the same story.
He's eating everything in sight.
(door clatters)
(they both gasp)
- Hey!
- What the?
- Oh, hey Pop.
(door clattering)
Hey, look at this Pop,
we had a bait burglar, cleaned me out.
- Well, gentlemen, I have a fish to catch.
- [Tony] (laughs) Hey, take care.
- Good luck, see ya Stormy. (laughs)
Uh,
You know, I'm kinda surprised
to see you out here today.
- Oh, I had to meet the
guy with a tow truck.
- Oh yeah, and?
- He's no stinkin' help.
He only likes the easy ones.
- That's natural.
Ha, so how's Lila taking all this.
- Oh, she's cool.
- [Pop] Yeah?
- I'm taking her and her mother
out to dinner this afternoon.
Sorta make up for yesterday.
- Ha, that's nice.
It's a start anyway. (laughs)
Hey, you mind if I use the shanty today?
- Oh, go ahead.
(Pop laughs)
I can't stay out here long, anyway.
I still got to figure out
a way to get that truck.
- Okay.
- Well, let's see here.
So, what have you get there?
- Ah, last night, I got to
thinking about that big pike.
So I put the strongest line
I had over here, you know?
And I said, right go
out there and catch him.
Well, I don't know.
I had the, the odds
were against me in that,
besides I like to fish for
the small fish anyway, so.
- Well, you know,
I'm sort of leaning towards the big fella.
- Ah
- Can we trade?
- Nah, that's.
- Oh, come on Pop.
- Well, okay, but listen,
I found another one of these last night,
so don't lose it.
- **Don't worry, not with this stuff.
It's like steel.
- Er,
you know, it sounds kind of crazy
that there's something
in this lake that comes
jumping up out of these holes
and thrashing around all these shanties,
looking for things to eat,
and then jumps down in that hole again.
Sounds crazy.
- [Tony] Nature's wonder.
- Eh, hey, maybe it's a
big old mud puppy huh?
- Do they still have mud puppies?
- Ahh.
(Pop grunts)
Oh all right, get in there baby.
There we go.
(Pop sings a nonsense song)
(Tony joins in with the nonsense song)
(they both shout and cheer)
- Aww, mine got lost.
There's something to this
system of yours though, Pop.
- Ah, ha ha.
Ha, ha.
- Hey and this line is thick,
it hardly wants to stay on a reel.
- That's why I like the
small stuff. (laughs)
(they both sing a nonsense song)
You know, I remember the time,
well Uncle Charlie and Verne, his buddy
came down to do some fishin'. (laughs)
And old Verne was a little bit too lazy
to be cutting a big hole in the ice.
So he brought along a stick
a dynamite. (laughing)
Well, it went over there
and he threw that dynamite
just as far as he could throw it.
But he forgot that Uncle Charlie
had his big old black Labrador and like
in the truck, you know.
The dog saw that dynamite go, man,
he said, "Hey that's a stick."
Wham, he went after it. (laughs)
And they just stood there and they could,
could, "No, no, no, come back Erin."
And the dog went over and got that,
and started bringing it back.
And he went right underneath the truck.
Well these, you know,
they started running, man.
They ran like a son of a gun, (laughing)
and the dog started
chasing them, thinking,
"You know, hey, after all,
"they're leave me behind, right?"
And they're screaming and hollering,
"No, no, no, no!"
(Pop laughing)
Just about that time
the dynamite went off.
It was under the truck.
Blew old Charlie's truck off
to hell and gone. (laughs)
- I've heard that story 100 times.
I still don't.
- Why did you
have me say it then?
- I still don't.
- Oh! Hey!
Hey, hey, hey.
Hey, wait a minute, I'll use the bucket.
Don't move, I've had practice.
- Ahh, holy crap!
- Put it down, now.
- This thing, it's huge!
- Put it right down.
Ease it, ease it,
Put a drag on it.
- I'm trying, Pop!
- Yup, easy does it.
Don't let 'im take too much throw in.
He'll just pull it first.
- I know, I know!
- Let me get this out
of the way over here.
All right, good, easy does it.
- Come on, come on, think I'm gettin' it.
- Easy, easy baby, easy.
Whoo, hoo.
(Tony grunting)
No, no, no, that's right.
- Oh!
- No, No!
There he is, there he is, keep it going.
Oh, he's just playing possum.
(reel spinning)
Don't let him take too much slack.
He'll rip that, that whole reel off.
- I'm tryin' Pop!
- Okay, you're trying, at a boy.
Keep goin'.
- Come on.
- Keep it comin',
keep it comin'.
Keep it coming at a boy.
(Tony sighing)
Come on, come on.
Pull it in, baby.
- Get it, oh.
- C'mon.
- No, he's off this time, Pop.
- Oh, he's playin' possum, come on!
- Oh God, that was a huge fish too.
God it was some kind of record, maybe?
- I bet it's the same one that took my-
- What the hell?
(Pop shouting)
(Tony yelling)
(Pop laughing)
(fish growling)
- Stay with him, stay with him!
Watch out.
Watch out, that's his bite.
Watch the teeth.
Watch out for his teeth.
(Tony groaning)
Watch out, watch out.
Let me take a picture.
I can't see his face.
(fish whacks on the wall)
(Pop yelling)
Oh, beautiful.
(camera clicking)
I got it!
- Wait until Sam and Bruce see this!
It's the biggest pike I've ever seen.
- (laughing) It's a world record.
(they both laugh and whoop)
Oh boy, I got this.
(phone ringing)
Whoo!
(both laughing)
(phone ringing)
Hey, I keep hearing a telephone ringing.
- (laughing) It's mine.
It's probably Lila, oh crap!
What time is it?
(phone rings)
- It's almost three o'clock.
- Oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God.
I gotta go, Pop.
Take the credit.
- I don't want 'im, no.
I won't clean that thing, no ways.
- Please, I promised Lila.
- What the hell!
- No.
- The beast!
Tony, you caught the beast!
Holy crap!
- Stormy, Stormy, you
can have it, I gotta go.
- What?
- I gotta go.
I promised Lila I'd be there.
- I can't take him, Tony, it's yours.
You were meant to catch it.
- Hell, I didn't catch it.
It jumped right into my lap.
(energetic string music)
(car door clicks)
(bell rings)
- Can I help you?
- Hi, yeah.
I'm looking for two women
who were waiting for me,
mother and daughter deal.
- (huffs) You must be Tony.
- Yeah, that's right.
- Yeah, they just left.
- What?
- Oh, you just missed 'em.
- Oh great.
You don't happen to know
which way they went, do ya?
- Sorry.
- Thank you.
(energetic music)
(engine buzzing)
C'mon.
(brakes screech)
(engine revs)
(energetic music)
(door slams)
(gentle guitar music)
(door squeaking)
Hey, baby.
These are for you.
- What?
Do they explode or have the plague
or are they infested with headlice, what?
- Oh, come on, Lila just take 'em.
You are not gonna believe what happened
out on the ice today.
- Oh.
- I caught the fish, the
big one, the monster one.
- That's great, Tony.
So how's the truck project coming?
- Forget about the truck.
- That is not going to be that easy to do.
- Well, it turns out that it's going to be
a little harder than I originally thought.
- Isn't that a surprise?
- I'll find someone to
get it out of there.
Where's your mom?
- She's in the bathroom.
- I am really, really,
really sorry about dinner.
Did you have a nice time?
- Yes, we did.
- Well, how much was it?
I wanna pay for it.
- With the tip, it came to $40.
(notes crumpling)
Actually it was $26.
I'll keep the change.
- Hey, come on.
You gotta see this fish.
- You've got it here?
- Oh yeah, it's outside.
I bungee corded it to your car.
- Why should that surprise me?
(tongue licking)
- Hey!
Get outta there!
What do you think?
- I think you've got
some work ahead of you.
- Yeah, I know.
I'll get that car back to
normal in no time, I promise.
(toilet flushing)
(wind escaping)
Hi mom.
- Hey, Tony.
Well, you've had a busy
weekend, haven't you?
- Yeah, it's had its ups and downs.
(Mom laughs)
How was dinner?
- Oh, we had a very nice time together.
- Oh, that's great.
Hey, check out the fish I got.
I haven't measured it yet,
but it's got to be a five footer.
Might be a world record.
- That's nice, Tony.
Is it bleeding on my driveway?
- No, I don't think so.
- Who would've thought?
- It's pretty cool, huh?
(Tony sighs)
- Did you get your truck back?
No yet, mom.
Still working on that.
(lively music)
(crowd cheering)
All right, the lake is now safe!
(crowd cheering)
(triumphant music)
(siren wailing)
Willaby!
- Whooo!
(people shouting)
- We're all right.
- Good one Tony.
- Twenty.
(men shouting)
(ladies screaming)
- Hey, Tony!
That's my boy, you know. (laughs)
- You must be very proud.
- Hey, c'mon. (laughs)
Hey, Tony!
I am, I am, I am. (laughs)
(happy guitar music)
♪ Well now open the
window, close the door ♪
♪ I'm going out with the band ♪
♪ Said now ♪
♪ Open the window, close the door ♪
♪ I'm going out with the band ♪
♪ You got to open the window ♪
♪ Close the door ♪
♪ 'Cause I ain't comin' back anymore ♪
♪ Open the window, close the door ♪
♪ I'm going out with the band ♪
♪ Well my boy was singin' out ♪
♪ 'Cause you know we sing this ♪
♪ Ridin' on that passenger train ♪
♪ My boy he sings out ♪
♪ 'Cause You know he's singin' deeper ♪
♪ Riding on that passenger train ♪
♪ He don't care if you
look him in the eye ♪
♪ He's gettin' his way ♪
♪ You know he's gettin' by ♪
♪ Open the window, close the door ♪
♪ I'm going out with the band ♪
(Tony laughs)
(beep)
- It fell right back into the plastic bag.
- [Director] Okay, let me
see your face here, dubber.
- Oh, man, hey.
(people laughing)
- [Crew member] Grant, pull
your coat up on your shoulder
a little bit, it's coming down too far.
- Sassy thing.
- [Director] I don't see you anywhere.
- Is this attractive?
(people laughing)
- [Commentator] People
Magazine's sexiest man alive.
- [Director] Actually wait a minute,
there's a couple of dead ones.
Can you get them?
Oh, they're all dead.
- Yeah.
- Oh, all right,
just grab 'em.
- [Tony] Fish are color blind.
- They weren't color blind when I had
my light green sprinter jig.
Since I had.
What the hell's wrong with me?
(jaunty music)
- I had the wrong pants on.
(woman laughing)
♪ Hallelujah, hallelujah ♪
♪ Hallelujah to the Lord ♪
♪ Hallelujah, hallelujah ♪
♪ Hallelujah to the Lord ♪
(shouting and screaming)
(voice singing)
♪ Looking down, looking down ♪
♪ Open the window, hallelujah ♪
♪ Hallelujah to the Lord ♪
♪ Open the window, close the door ♪
♪ I'm going out with the band ♪
♪ Said now ♪
♪ Open the window, close the door ♪
♪ I'm going out with the band ♪
♪ Open the window, close the door ♪
♪ I'm going out with the band ♪
♪ Said now ♪
♪ Open the window, close the door ♪
♪ I'm going out with the band ♪