From Hare to Heir (1960) - full transcript
Bedlam Manor, 17th-century England. Sam, the Duke of Yosemite, learns that the King has cut off his allowance and takes his frustrations out on his servant by slamming his large nose in the book. Just as he's complaining about where to get more funds, Bugs Bunny comes to the door. The bunny offers 1 million pounds to a mild-tempered person - he picks Sam - then provides an anger-management catch: If Sam loses his temper for any reason, Bugs gets to subtract from the balance. Sam, anxious for the cash, quickly becomes mild-tempered and welcomes Bugs into his palace. The rest of the cartoon depicts Bugs playing the role of annoying house guest, seemingly to test Sam's temper and patience. Sam loses every time, as he blows his cool when he's asked repeatedly to pass the salt, pepper and ketchup; Bugs hears Sam grumble under his breath and deducts from his cash account; Sam can't even go outside to vent his anger without Bugs knowing about it. That night, Bugs keeps Sam awake with an obnoxious rendition of "I Dream of Jeannie (With the Light Brown Hair)," and then a one-man-band rendition of "Braham's Lullaby." The next morning, Bugs hogs the bathroom, and when Sam continues to lose his temper, he realizes that, at this rate, the only way to get whatever is left of his inheritance is to kill the bunny off and make it look like an accident. But Sam twice falls victim to a hole he saws in the floor (right in front of the bathroom); both times, Sam falls into a river far below the main floor. Later, Sam disguises himself as a statue knight in armor, ready to behead Bugs as he's climbing a long, winding set of stairs; Sam misses completely with his wild swing, loses his balance and tumbles down the stairs, cursing all the way. Bugs continues the deductions. In the end, Sam declares to Bugs that he has his temper under control, demonstrating by allowing the servants to throw pies in his face and beat him on the head. Bugs confides to the audience: "I haven't got the heart to tell him he's used up all the money."
"From Hare to Heir" (1960)
with Yosemite Sam
subtitles by bludingutz
But, but, Sire...there is no more money!
Your uncle, the King, has cut off your allowance!
You know the penalty for
not having the books balanced!
Oh, no!
Not "The Nose In The Book" penalty!
Yeah...
The nose in the book!
*WHAP!*
We GOTTA get some money!!
*Ding-dong!*
Oooohhhhhh!
Well, waddya want???
Good evening!
My company has selected you, under no obligation...
To be the proud owner of legal tender amounting to---
We don't want any!!
**SLAM!!**
[ Bugs' muffled voice ]
One million pounds!
A million pounds???
[ In courtly voice ]
Well, eh, uh, come right in!
[ In courtly voice ]
Welcome to the House of Sam!
"And so, to make certain that this money be
received by a worthy person of mild temperament..."
"The bearer of the document",
(that's me)...
"Has been authorized to dee-duct from the
total amount any sum he sees fit"
"Whenever there is any display of temper."
In short...
Whenever you blow your top,
you blow some dough!
Get it?
[ In exaggerated courtly voice ]
Prithee, allow me to be your most
humble and mild-tempered host!
[ sounds of chewing and dinnerware clanking ]
[ Bugs' distant raised voice ]
Oh, uh, Saaaaam...?
Pass the salt, please?
Salt???
Get it yerself!!!
Uh-oh! That'll cost you about, ummm....
[ in exaggerated polite voice ]
Salt?? Heh heh, why didn't you say so?
Here's your salt, Bunny...I hope you like it
[ muttering & cursing under his breath ]
racka fracka....
[ Bugs' distance voice ]
Oh, uh...the pepper, please?
Pepper???
Eeee! Oooh!
Uh, yeah...heh heh heh heh, the Pepper!
Coming right up!
[ muttering & cursing under his breath ]
Oooh, that bracka frack...
[ Bugs' distance voice ]
Oh, Saaaaaam...
Oh, no....
How about the olives?
Ooooop!
*Slam!*
[ yelling ]
That dirty perka-sherka back-flacken...
[ yelling and cussing ]
[ muffled yelling and cussing ]
[ doorknob clicking ]
Ah, ha ha ha...
[ in exaggerated polite voice ]
Now, uh, what was that you were saying?
[ in exaggerated polite voice ]
I like you, Rabbit!
*Smack!*
I hoid you in there...
That'll cost you three-hundred pounds
THREE-HUNDRED POUNDS???
Four-hundred!
OOOOOOOOP!
[ muffled cussing ]
[ screaming and cussing unitelligibly ]
Ehh, I'm not sleepy - I'll, uhh, hang around a while
Good night, Sam
[ sweetly ]
Nighty-night, Bunny!
[ cussing unintelligibly under his breath ]
[ Bugs singing obnoxiously loud and playing the piano ]
I dreeeeeam of Genie she's a light brown haaaaaare...
[ Bugs singing obnoxiously loud and playing the piano ]
La tee dee DAAAAAA
[ Bugs singing obnoxiously loud and playing the piano ]
Laa-da-da yaa-taa-tyaaaaaaa!
STOP THAT MUSIC YOU CRAZY
RACKIN'-FRACKIN' VARMINT RABBIT!!!!!
Well!
That should be woith, uhhh, four-hundred pounds!
[ in exaggerated polite voice ]
Hee hee! I was only kiddin'
[ in exaggerated polite voice ]
Eh, how about singing me to sleep with a Brahms Lullabye
[ in exaggerated polite voice ]
Waddya say, Frankie-boy?
Well, uh....maybe....
[ bass drum, cymbals & horn playing loud marching music ]
[ Bugs ]: Lum taa-daa-daaaaaaa...
[ bass drum, cymbals & horn playing loud marching music ]
Lum ta-da-da-da-dum ta-taaa...
[ bass drum, cymbals & horn playing loud marching music ]
Da-tee-YAAA-TAAAAAAA...
[ bass drum, cymbals & horn playing loud marching music ]
La-ta-daaaaa...
[ bass drum, cymbals & horn playing loud marching music ]
Brrrrum-ta-taaaaa...
Do you like it??
I like it, I like iiiiit!!!
[ Sam cursing under his breath ]
[ Bugs singing in the bathroom ]
*click!* *click!*
[ Bugs singing in the bathroom ]
*Bang! Bang!*
[ Bugs singing in the bathroom ]
Get outta there!!!
[ Bugs singing in the bathroom ]
**Slam!**
**Slam!**
COME OUTTA THERE YOU
BLATTERSPATENNAZZATRAP OR I'LL...
[ Bugs ]: I hoid you!
[ Bugs ]: That's gonna cost you four-hundred pounds!
Oooop!
[ Bugs ]: And thirty-five schillings!
Oooohhh!
[ discordant banging on piano ]
Hey doc! What's that song you're playin'?
I like it!
*slam!*
[ growling and cussing under his breath ]
If this keeps up I won't have anything left!
I git rid of him, and make it look like an accident!
[ sawing sound ]
[ low, evil chuckling ]
Oh, Mister Bunnyyyyy...
There's someone at th' door for ya!
[ Bugs' muffled voice ]:
Tell 'em to come back tomorrow...I'll be here all day!
What???
Ohhh, no, you're not! You're comin' out right now!
**Bang!**
Out! Out! Out!
YEEEEOOW!
[ descending whistling sound ]
[ SAM: yelling and cussing, fading ]
**Ker-splash!**
[ door opening ]
OK, Sam, it's all yours!
WHY YOU...
YEEEEEOOOWWWW
[ descending whistling sound ]
[ SAM: yelling and cussing, fading ]
**Ker-splash!**
BUGS: Phew! The Alps have got
nothin' on these stairs for climbing!
[ drop-whistle sound ]
SAM: Ooop!!!
**Crash!**
[ repeated crashing and banging ]
[ SAM: yelling & cussing indistinctly ]
[ crashing and cussing continue in the distance ]
I got it licked, rabbit!
I don't get mad no more!
Watch this!
*Splat!*
*Boot!*
*Crack!*
*Splat!*
*Boot!*
*Crack!*
See?
Ha ha ha, ha ha ha!
I can take it, yeah!
[ splat, boot, crack sounds continue ]
I haven't got the heart to tell
him that he's used up all the money