Frogs (1972) - full transcript

Clint, look out!

Ah. Now you did it.

Oh, am I glad
you're not hurt.

Those canoes aren't very stable.
It was just one
of those things!

Just one
of those things, Mac.

I admit it, it was stupid.

We were out testing
this baby,

and I thought
we'd sneak up on you
and make a few waves.

- I guess I blew it, huh?
- The sound you hear...

is the wind rushing
through my brother's head.

Look, all I can say
is I'm sorry.



Just let me have a list
of all your stuff,
and I'll replace it.

- You got
any diving gear?
- You can't dive here.

The bottom drops off,
and besides, the mud is so
thick you couldn't see two feet.

Believe me,
I've been down there.

We're both
really sorry. Really.

My name is Clint Crockett,
if you wanna know.

- I'm Karen.
- Smith.

- What, just Smith?
- Pickett Smith.

Hello.

It is a canoe.

And there is
a stranger with them.

Damn it, Stuart,
get down there and find out
what the devil's going on.

- They'll be up here
in two minutes.
- If it's an inconvenience--

Ah, there's the pirate camp.



How are you
at badminton?

How about tennis?

I play.

Clint loves to play games
he's sure to win.
How are you at ping-pong?

Lousy. I just wanna
dry out a little bit.
Then I'll be on my way.

You'd better forget it, pal.
You're fresh blood
for our fun and games.

Now, how would
you like to partake
in a nice, friendly wage?

At least we owe you
a drink or two
and some lunch.

- Really,
I don't wanna intrude.
- Intrude?

No, tonight's
very family,
very traditional.

But this afternoon
is practically a picnic.
We'd love to have you.

How about it, buddy?

Alright.

Mr. Smith,
this is my uncle,
Stuart Martindale.

- Pickett Smith.
- Mr. Martindale.
- How do you do?

- What happened?
- Well, I was testing
the new engine,

ran into Smith's canoe
and I swamped him.

- Seems the canoe swamped you.
- Something like that.

Mr. Smith
accepted our offer
to stay for lunch.

Delightful.
I'll tell Maybelle.

You tell Jason.

As soon as Grandpa
gets a look at you,

Karen will show you
to my room.

- You will do that,
won't you, Karen?
- I will.

I'll get you
some dry clothes.
See you then.

Clint, where you going?
- Gotta change clothes, Grandpa.

- Karen, what's going on?
- Grandpa,
this is Pickett Smith.

- Mr. Smith,
Jason Crockett.
- Hello, Mr. Crockett.

- My cousin,
Michael Martindale.
- Hi.

- Well, Karen?
- Clint didn't know what
he was doing out there,

and we nearly ran
Mr. Smith down.

So we fished him out.
Now we're gonna offer him
a little food and drink.

- After he gets changed
out of his wet clothes.
- Just a moment.

Mr. Smith,
I saw you out on the lake
early this morning.

You've been paddling
around this island for hours...

taking pictures.
- Yes, sir.

- Don't you know
that's against the law?
- Oh, Grandpa.

- No, sir, I didn't.
- There's a sign out there
that says private property.

- Who were you with anyway?
- I'm a freelance photographer.

I'm doing
a pollution layout
for an ecology magazine.

Take any pictures
of frogs lately?

I saw the biggest bullfrog
this morning. This big.

The damn creatures
are everywhere.
Croak all night.

Well, you know
I sent Grover out
to take care of that.

Mr. Smith, did you happen
to see a man spraying in that
small bay on the north shore?

Later. This man
has gotta change
out of his wet clothes.

- Grover's not back yet?
- He'll be back, Karen.

- I'd like to call my editor.
Can I use your phone?
- Oh, sure. Right there.

And when you're finished,
I'll introduce you
to the rest of the family.

It's dead.

Oh, you'll get a dial tone.
We're on a regular line.

It's dead.

It's probably
just the holiday.
It'll come back on soon.

- Oh, Karen, look what
the kids did. Cute, huh?
- It's adorable.

Jenny, uh, this
is Mr. Pickett Smith.

- This is Clint's wife,
Jenny.
- Hi, Jenny.

Hello.
Well, where's Clint?

He's upstairs
changing his wet clothes.

What happened?

It's a long story.

Yeah, it usually is.

Come on.
I'll introduce you to the rest.

Okay, you all, time out.
A quick hello
to Pickett Smith.

- This is my aunt Iris.
- How do you do?

- How are you?
- And, uh, my cousin
Kenneth Martindale.

And miss Bella Berenson.
Pickett Smith.

- Hi.
- Welcome to Crockettland.

Hi. I'm not
quite awake yet,
Mr. Pickett,

but I can
hardly wait to see
what you look like.

Well, now you
can take that shower
that you were promised.

Uh, Clint and Jenny's bedroom
is the second door
on the right upstairs, okay?

Okay.

Kenneth, where do you
suppose he came from?

Mom, your guess
is as good as mine.

There. Finished.
Do you think Daddy
will like it?

The monarch
I just caught.

I think
it's the largest specimen
ever found in this state.

And the other one I got
at the Vermont farm.

Butterflies are really in,
Mrs. Martindale.

Oh, I'm so glad I'm in,
Bella. Now, where's
that metallic paper?

I must get this wrapped
before lunch.

Didn't I tell you
that a weekend here
would be something else?

Do you find it a little weird
for a middle-aged lady
to chase butterflies?

Honey, if that's her thing,
I do believe she's entitled.

Me, myself, I just
never had the energy
to run after anything.

Perfect timing, pal.
Caught you looking
at my jersey, didn't I?

- Looks like you were
quite a jock.
- Well,

it was my wife's idea.

You see, she's still impressed
with me ever since I was
the school's highest scorer.

Oh, yeah?

I don't think I've ever heard
of Mid-West Valley Central.

Not everybody has.
But I hope my two go there.
You'll meet them later.

That picture.
That's Jenny
when she was a cheerleader.

- Pretty girl.
- Yeah, I'd say she was too.
Always was.

Recognize old Clint?
Huh?

I'm the same weight now
I was when I was playing.
Not one extra pound.

It's really funny.

Jenny's just got a few more
extra little tiny bags
under her eyes.

That's about all.

Come on. Why don't
we help ourselves
to some dry clothes?

I think it'll make us
both feel pretty good, huh?

Good, girl. Do it.

Yeah!

- Pretty,
pretty, pretty.

- Aha.
- Mr. Kenneth, I have a message
from your Grandfather.

With or without
the profanity, Charles?

I was told
to quote him exactly.
"Has your damn watch stopped?"

- Message received,
Charles.

Has your agency ever thought
of packaging your Grandfather
to give him a new image?

He knows he's not popular
with the public or his family,
and he revels in it.

Well, he treats me
nice enough.

He wouldn't dare admit
that we've shaken him up.

Nobody ever invites guests
fourth of July,
and I bring you.

A girl, and worse,
a sexy model.

And that
ain't all either.

But would Jason ever
admit we shook him up?
Never.

Well, it looks like
most of the family
have joined us.

Clint, any reason
why your children
should be 12 minutes late?

Where are they,
Jenny?

Grandfather, you know
how difficult it is to get
those kids away from the pool.

And on a day
like this?

Well, I told them.

I told those kids
20 minutes ago to get
out of their wet suits...

and change
for lunch.

Jenny, far be it
for me to tell you
how to raise your children.

If you forbid them
the use of the pool...

until they've learned
the rules of being
at meals on time.

Well,
it's not my fault.

I'll make sure
they understand that, sir.

Hey, everybody, look!
Look what I found!
Look what I found.

He's gigantic.

Don't be so stupid, Jay.

Don't, Mike.
That's mine.

Now, listen,
Jay, Tina,
you're both late.

Now go sit down
and eat your food.

Jay, you were right.
He was gigantic.

Oh, I hate those things,
and that make so much noise.

Just making
everybody crazy.

Oh, nonsense, Jenny.

You see many frogs along
the shore, Mr. Smith?

- Yes, sir, a few.
- More than you
consider usual?

I guess so,
but sometimes they
have a summer like this.

Animals overpopulate.

They'll die off
by next year.

You sound like you might
be an ecology expert.
Are you?

Yes, sir, to an extent.

Well, you see,
I have an impatient family.
They can't wait till next year.

How do they get rid
of the frogs now?

Well, it seems like
everyone in our family
is hung up on frogs.

They really do
keep us awake
every night.

Those of us who don't
consume a fifth of vodka
every night, that is.

- Which reminds me.
- How do we get
rid of 'em?

I have suggested
pouring oil on the water
to choke them off.

That would help,
wouldn't it, Mr. Smith?

Yeah, but you'd be
killing other things
at the same time.

Make my home smell
like a refinery.

- Well, I can't sleep.
- It's not the end
of the world, Jenny.

Well, it seems so.

With all our technology
and all my money,

we still can't get rid
of these frogs.

- Interesting, isn't it?
- Yes, sir, it is.

- You'll think of something.
- Well, I suggest
you do me a favor.

Go take
a good look around.

Come back, give me
an honest report so I can
quiet down this nervous group.

Alright.
You have a deal.

Good.

These things feel
a lot better.

- Thank Maybelle for drying
them for me, will you?
- I surely will.

And congratulations.
You seem to have
impressed Grandpa.

- That's good.
- You have a nice trip.

Okay. I'll see you later.

Mr. Smith,
may I see you a moment?

That'll be all, Michael.

- I was on my way out,
Mr. Crockett.
- Would you mind closing the door?

Now, if I might ask
a small favor.

It's obvious you can't see
the whole island before dark.

I don't think I have
to see the whole island.

But if you would take
the north road...

and keep your eyes peeled
for my man Grover.

He left about
6:00 this morning
to do some spraying...

up in that little bay up there
where the mosquitoes and
the frogs are pretty bad.

But it's my belief
he's A.W.O.L.

with a little lady friend
from across the lake.

- If you see him,
will you tell him I want him?
- I'll be glad to.

You wanna take
one of these?

Oh, no, sir.

I don't think
a stuffed bullfrog
would add a thing.

- Maybelle?
- Oh, I couldn't.
Not now.

Oh, come on.
Live a little bit.

Oh, well, why not?
But don't tell anybody.

Hey, a toast
to Crockettland.

Mmm.

You know, um,
my name's Maybelle too.

Kinda thought so.

Born and raised
in Jackson, Mississippi.

- Oh, Bella?
- Yes?

There's always hot coffee
and a friendly conversation in
the kitchen if you ever need it.

Thanks, Maybelle,
'cause I think
I might be needing it.

Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm very sorry.

Oh, well, just kind of relax,
and you'll get it
after a while.

That's an unusual dress,
Bella. Did you make it?

No, I didn't make it.
I designed it.

And I think
it's fantastic.

We are talking
about the dress,
aren't we?

That noise
is driving me insane.
Won't they ever stop?

Stop complaining, Jenny.
It'll stop soon.

Daddy, what if Grover's
lying in a ditch somewhere?
I hope he's not hurt.

- Serve him right if he is.
- Oh, Grandpa,
that's awful.

You make it sound
like the worst
of the ugly rich.

We are
the ugly rich.

Well, we're entitled
to be ugly, Karen.

God knows
we pay enough taxes.

Daddy, did you know the
government is forcing us to put
strainers on our paper mill?

It's called
antipollution
control, Iris.

Oh, what's the difference
what it's called?
It costs millions.

And our dividends
will be shot to hell.

Where'd you find
Grover's jeep?

- Far end of the island.
- And still no sign
of Grover?

- No.
- Well,
I'm not surprised.

You can't depend
on help these days.

Not unless
they've been with you
from the very beginning.

Is it still dead?

- Yeah.
- That dumb
phone company.

Can we buy you a drink
before dinner?

No. No, thanks.

- Can I see you alone
a minute?
- Alright.

- Is anything wrong?
- No.

How much longer,
Maybelle?

In a few moments.

I did everything
with him I could,

but we gotta get
that body out of there.

Yeah. Well, thanks
for telling me first.
I appreciate it.

No use frightening the others.
Today of all days.

Yeah, I gather tomorrow's
quite a celebration.

This week with my family
is the one permanent thing
left in my life.

Fifteen years ago
nature threw me
for a loss.

Dumped me in this chair.

We have four birthdays
in July:

Mine, Karen's,

Stuart and Michael.

We've celebrated
together for years.

We'll celebrate
until I'm a hundred.

Right here.

Yes, sir. Well, you
have my birthday eve
congratulations.

I'm sure it'll be
a great day for everyone.

If I can't reach the village,

I'll have Clint
or someone run me back
across the lake.

What do you mean?
Stay here. Stay here
till morning.

- And what about
the body?

I don't believe it.

Look at this.

- Somebody kill it!
- Stand aside.

Charles, take it out.

Well, what's everybody
standing around for?

Let's eat.

Frogs attacking windows,

snakes in chandeliers.

Those aren't exactly
normal things, Mr. Crockett.

I don't think
there's much to worry about.

- I'm sure I can get the state
to spray some pesticides.
- Yes, sir, I'm sure you can.

You can kill
a hell of a lot
of other things too.

Mr. Smith, that is where
you and I part company.

I still believe
man is master of the world.

Does that mean he
can't live in harmony
with the rest of it?

You call
that horrible racket
out there harmonious?

Mr. Crockett,
I know it sounds
strange as hell, but...

what if nature were
trying to get back at us?

- Nonsense.
- Then how do you explain it?

We just sit and wait.

It seems like all
I ever do around here
is baby-sit.

I hope they don't
do something that might
annoy him, and they always do.

The family.
They don't like me.

And you, you're out drinking
in that speedboat
all day and all night.

Well, I hate it.

It's only a couple
of weeks a year.

"Yes, sir" and "no, sir"
all day long.

The only one
that matters is him.

What about me?

Shouldn't your wife
come first?

Now, listen to me.

I said listen to me.

Now, that old man
is not gonna
live forever.

And that means
a million dollars
or more to me.

All we have to do
is just play
our cards right.

- I don't think
that I can stand--
- Just shut your mouth!

- Pickett?
- Hi.

- You alright?
- Sure.

Just looking around
a little bit.

I'm getting like Jenny.
The frogs are
driving me crazy too.

It's like
a different world
out here at night.

This place must seem
like a different place
to you day or night.

- How long
you been doing this?
- What?

Taking pictures.

The only real job
I've ever had.

Do you always
work outdoors?

Whenever I can.

You must really like it.

- Yeah, I like it.
- Why?

Well, it lets me
travel a lot.

See a lot of country.
Meet some good people.

I'm on my own time.

Nobody on my back.

Freedom, I guess.

What were you and Grandpa
talking about tonight?

- Nothing. Just talking.
- Did you have to close
the door?

When you came back tonight,
I knew something had happened.

Now, what was it?
Come on, Pickett. Tell me.

What is going on here
that Grandpa doesn't think his
own family is entitled to know?

I just don't know
what it is.

Alright.

It's getting damp out here.
I'm going inside.
You wanna come?

No, you go ahead.
I'll see you in the morning.

Alright.

- Good night.
- Good night.

- Happy birthday, Grandpa.
- Happy fourth of July,
Grandpa.

I thank you, children.
Getting all ready
for the excitement?

- When do we get to do
the roman candles?
- And the sparklers?

When it's time.
When it's dark.
After the birthday cake.

You're old enough
to know that by now.

- Don't just stand there.
Go off and play somewhere.
- Okay.

Another year gone by,
Mr. Crockett. Another
happy day for everybody.

Yeah.
Thank you, Maybelle.

Another year ended,
another year beginning.

- Charles seeing
to the decorations?
- Oh, yes, sir.

Anybody seen Clint?

God forbid
I should come before
his training program.

Not quite like it was
in college, huh?

That's just the trouble,
Grandfather.

It's just like it was
in college.

Jenny, perhaps
you'd like to help
with the decorations.

If you've got
the time.

Thank you.
I'd love to.

Uh-oh.
Something tells me
it's the fourth of July.

Or the martians
have landed.

Well, at least
they didn't start before 8:00.

Obviously some of the family
haven't heard them yet.

- Did you rest well,
Mr. Smith?
- Yes, I did. Thank you.

- Is there anything
you need?
- Nothing.

Well, I'm going
to mend my net.
I'll see you all later.

Welcome to another day in
the life of the Crocketts.

- Want some more coffee?
- No, thanks.

I...

nearly came by
your room last night.

Why didn't you?

The floorboards creak
too much.

I'm sorry Jason Crockett
doesn't keep his floorboards
in better condition.

- I liked talking to you
last night.
- We'll have to do more of it.

Alright.
I'm ready to play
"King of the Log."

- Hey, Smith.
- He's not here.

Where is he?

Michael?
When you're through pounding,
warm me up a little bit.

No. No, I don't want to.

Ah, come one.

Come on.

Just don't hurt me.

The idea is to just
step on that log,

stay on it.

Put your left hand
behind your back like that,

and that's all
your have to do.

Just like that.

- Come on, Michael.
Get him.
- I've had enough.

The boy's a loser.

Did your boyfriend
get lost? I wish
I could be so lucky.

How would you like
to fight me for my log?

That's really not
my kind of game.

What is
your kind of game?

I don't think
you'd dig it.

It's a little slower
than that and, uh,
sophisticated.

- Try me.
- I'm not gonna
be here that long.

Morning, Mr. Crockett.
Happy birthday.

- Oh, thank you.
Had your breakfast?
- Yes, sir. Thank you.

Hey, Smith,
how about some games?

Later, Clint.
I wanna talk to him.

Yes, sir.

I thought maybe I'd look
around your island a little
more, if you don't mind.

I'll check out
the phone line for you.

Michael, why don't
you take the jeep,

go see if you can find
a line down somewhere.

Certainly, Grandpa.

Mr. Smith, seems to me
you've got something
on your mind.

- Care to tell me about it?
- Sir, I don't wanna
spoil your day here,

but something's gotta be done
with that body.

I'll tell you
something else,
Mr. Crockett.

You overdone it
with those pesticides
and poisons here.

I'm afraid to think
what's happened.

There you are,
Mr. Michael.
Just in case.

Thanks, Maybelle.

And this year
I believe I've
thought of everything.

A new badminton bird,
a new net and four
new rackets.

Kenneth,
would you go into
the greenhouse, dear,

and get some cymbidiums
and some of those
pale green orchids.

The little,
teeny, tiny ones?

I just don't have time,
and Maybelle isn't
quite up to it.

Oh, a papilio glaucus.
I must get my net
right away.

It's the least
I can do.

Now, wait a minute.
I wanna show you
my new beanbag punch.

No way.

- Son, go get him.
- Hey, cut it out, Dad.

Mix it up with him.
Show him.

- I'd love to see him on his ass.
- I don't
wanna show anybody anything.

If you're chicken, at least
you could find something useful
to do with yourself.

I suppose I could,
uh, put up the targets
for rifle practice.

Or I could, uh, make sure
there are a proper number
of beanbags.

I might even volunteer
to play gin with granddaddy.

- But you won't.
- No, I won't.

Cymbidium.

Cymbidium, cymbidium.

Cymbidium.

Cymbidium, cymbidium.

I hope you realize
that was your last meal
on the Crocketts.

Grandfather, I don't know
when you wanna start
the games.

Not everybody's
back yet.

But, uh, you usually
do start by now.

Who's not back?
Michael and who else?

Iris went off
after a butterfly
about a half an hour ago.

Kenneth said something
about the greenhouse,
about choosing some flowers.

Karen, go in the house
and see if he's there.

If he is, tell him
to get out here.

- Alright, Grandpa.
- Jason, I'm sure Iris
won't be very long.

If you're so sure,
what are you
standing there for?

Go find her.

- Okay. Yeah.
- Easy.

- Wait a minute.

There's a lot of strategy
in this once you get
the hang of it.

Is that what
you call it down here?

Yeah, that's what
we call it down here.
That was nice.

Charles,
have you seen Kenneth?

He asked Maybelle
to get out some bowls
for the flowers.

- That was an hour ago.
- Well, that's peculiar.

Grandpa's getting
very impatient.

- Have you seen Kenneth?
- No.

- What's the matter?
Is that still not working?
- Mm-hmm.

- What is
going on here?
- I don't know.

And your Grandpa is getting
pretty tough out there.

You're supposed to be
able to handle him
when nobody else could.

Yeah, and then
comes the point
when nobody can.

I'd better find Kenneth
or there are going to be
some real fireworks.

Hmm.

Okay.

Quiet, Colonel.

What is it?
What does he see?

What's going on?
Clint! Get me out of here.

Clint,
keep your wife quiet.

Grandfather, something
terrible is happening.

You be quiet!

Mr. Crockett, we all know
how important your plans
are to you--

You couldn't
possibly know.

We're going ahead
with this celebration
today just as I planned,

just as I've celebrated
all my life,

and nothing's
going to stop it.

Christ!

- Kenneth, no!
- Bella, there's
nothing you can do.

He's dead!
He's dead! He's dead!

- He's dead!
- Who's dead?

- K-- k--
- Oh, my God.
I knew it.

You sure? How?

He's dead.
There's bottles of poison
broken all over that greenhouse.

He's been asphyxiated.

Karen, take me inside.

Clint, I'm gonna
need your help.

I'd be glad to do
anything I can, Mr. Smith.

Thank you, Charles.

- But why?
- Because
I want you to...

and Grandpa Crockett
wants you to.

- But what's the matter?
- Just get up
in your room and play.

- How do you figure--
- I don't know, Charles.

- Is there any place we can
put him?
- Yes, sir. I'll show you.

Iris?

Iris!

Iris.

Oh, no!

Ah! Uh!

Ohhh--

Iris!

Thank you,
Maybelle.

Grandpa, I think
that we've got to--

We've just got to
get out of here.

What about Mike,
Iris and Stuart?

When we get help,
then we can find out
what's happened--

Now, listen to me,
all of you.

I'm just as heartbroken
over this tragedy
as any of you,

but there's
plenty of time later
to do what has to be done.

Later?
Why wait, Grandpa?

Because I won't
let anything interfere
with today's schedule.

Not anything.

The year ends
and the year begins.

It always has,
it always will.

"Always"?
What do you mean, "always"?

I'm not interested
in what you think.

Pickett, you've got
to help us. We don't
know what to do.

Well, I know what to do,
and we're going to do it.

Just because of one death--
An accident--

That's no reason
for everybody to panic.

Two deaths, Mr. Crockett.
Two very strange deaths.

- Who else?
- What did you see?

Grover's dead.
Found him yesterday.

- Why didn't you tell us?
- Because I thought it best
not to.

Didn't want to spoil your day.

- Whose day?
- What happened to him?

He was in the swamp.
He'd been hit by a snake.

Is that another accident,
Grandpa? Is that
another coincidence?

Karen, and everybody,

this conversation is ended.

No, it isn't.

I don't know what's goin' on
around here, or if it's
happening anywhere else,

but we're a bunch of damn fools
if we don't face the fact
that we're in trouble,

and we're gonna have to
get together and fight it.

Keep on talking,
Pickett,

'cause you're
the only man around here
who's saying anything.

First of all, we're gonna
have to try to find Iris,
Stuart and Michael.

I'll be very honest
with you. I don't
think we will.

Not alive,
anyway.

But whether we find them or not,
we've got to get off this damn
island. All of us. Now!

We'll take the powerboat.
If we have to,
we'll tow the canoe.

And leave
this house empty,
deserted?

I don't think there's gonna be
anyone around to worry about
today, or haven't you noticed?

There hasn't been one boat
out on that lake all day.

Do you think that's happening
everywhere, Mr. Smith?

Well, if it is, we all
better get out of here together.

Well, I forbid it!

I control these people,
not you.

Nobody controls me,
Mr. Crockett!

Now, I am asking
to get off this island,
by myself or with somebody else.

- I just wanna go!
- You can leave
whenever you feel like it.

Mr. Crockett,
begging your pardon,

I do believe Mr. Smith
made good sense.

- We must all go together.
- What are you saying?

Are you contradicting me?

Just because
of one small crisis,
you want to run?

Mr. Crockett. Really,
it's not a small crisis.
You got to see that.

I see who's loyal
and who isn't.
That's what I see.

Now, if you wanna go,
both of you, well, go.

Do you?

Maybe you haven't
heard about it, stuck out here
in vacationland,

but five score
and seven years ago,

they just started
letting people
make up their own mind.

Mr. Crockett, I wish
you'd change your mind,
for your own safety.

- Mr. Crockett--
- Do you
want to leave?

Then leave. Get out!

All three of you,
go on!

- Clint?
- Yes, sir?

Take 'em across the lake
and leave 'em.

Take a good look around.
Then get right back here!

I can take care of that, sir.

Ladies,
gentlemen,

you have about five minutes.

Thank you.

Thank you so much
for your hospitality.

I'll write you
my thank-you note when I
get back to civilization.

You're in for
one hell of a battle,
Mr. Crockett.

You better
get ready for it.

Jessie?

Jessie? Damn it,
where are you?

Pickett,
is there anything
we can do to help?

No, nothing.
Either one of you know how
to handle these things?

- I'm afraid not.
- I've always hated guns.

Karen, even under
these circumstances,

is there any reason
why we can't get
something to eat?

Of course not, Grandpa.
I guess the kids must be
pretty hungry too.

- What would you like?
- I'd like the menu
that was originally planned,

starting with
a double old-fashioned
for me.

- Alright.
- Well,
where's Clint?

Shouldn't he
have been back by now?

All depends on how many beers
he took with him, doesn't it?

Yeah, I guess so.

Clint?

Clint!

Clint! Ohh. Oh.

Help!

Help!

My God!

They're all over
out there.

- Got any gasoline
around here?
- In the tool shed.

- Here, Grandpa.
- Thank you.

You see that? Soon as
I went after them,
they scattered.

And very intelligently too.
The frogs are thinking now.

The snails
are planning strategy.

They have brains
as good as ours.
Is that your point?

- Where's Mommy
and Daddy?
- Where's Mommy, Karen?

Well, your Daddy
hasn't come back
from across the lake yet,

and I think your Mommy
just went outside.

- I didn't see her out there.
- Mommy!
- Wait!

Mommy, Mommy! Mommy!

Mommy!

Pickett.

- That settles it.
We're leavin'. Come on.
- Where are they, Karen?

Why isn't Daddy
in the boat?

We don't know, darling.
We just don't know.

How we gonna leave?

...running around
like chickens with
their heads cut off.

Grandpa Crockett,
Daddy's not in the boat,

and it's out there
all by itself.

She's right,
Mr. Crockett.
There's no one in it.

- We're all leavin' now.
- The Crocketts
are staying.

Grandpa, after all
that's happened today,

do you think it
makes any difference
whether we stay?

I'm staying,
and you're staying.

But don't you understand?

I can't let the children stay,

and I can't
let you stay either.

If anyone gives orders
in this house, I do.

If you want
to disobey me,
alright. Go ahead.

I thought you,
at least,
were different.

Thought you had
the Crockett strength,
the guts.

But if you want to leave, go.

Go on.
Get the hell out of here.

Just stand up
and be counted.

That means are you with me
or against me?
You understand?

Are you gonna be
alright?

You worried about me?
Well, thank you
for your concern.

I'm going to be
perfectly alright.

I can get
into that elevator by myself.
I can get into bed by myself.

That's where I'm going,
and I'm going to sleep
like a baby.

- Can I take that shotgun?
- Take anything you like.

Don't bring it back.

Many happy returns
of the day...

to me.

Okay, let's go.

Bye, Grandpa.

Grandpa?

Okay, kids, you're gonna
have a chance for one
fourth of July race anyway.

When I say, I want you
to carefully run
down to the dock.

Watch out for the frogs.
On your mark, get set, go!

Stay with 'em a minute.

Oh, my God!

- What's wrong, Karen?
- Nothing, darling.

- Stay down and keep
in the middle.
- Okay.

- Hold on to the sides.
- Okay.

- Jay.
- Keep real steady.

- What happened?
- We're on a snag.

Damn!

Pickett,
be careful.

- Jesus!

Pickett--

Damn.

Hello?

Hello.

- Nobody here.
- Karen--

No, darling.
Come on. Get goin'.

Come on.

Hello.
Is anything wrong?

- We had a little trouble.
Can you give us a lift?
- I'd be glad to.

- Hop in.
- Great.
Come on!

Did your car
break down?

No, it's a long story.
Thanks for stopping.

Well, we're headed
for Jefferson City.

- I just picked
my son up at camp.
- Hi. I'm Bobby.

- Hi.
- We've been
on this road...

for practically
three hours straight,

and you're the first souls
we've seen in an hour.

It seems very strange
that everybody's disappeared
inside on a holiday.

Hey, wanna see
what I caught?

They were all over the place
at camp. Ever seen a monster
big as him before?

Quiet, Colonel!

Colonel!

Hello?
Hello?

Hello!

Hello?

But it can't be dead.
It rang!