Fright Flick (2011) - full transcript

[spooky music playing]

[scream]

[spooky music]

Ah!

Jesus Christ, Johnny, you scared me.

You scared me too, Debbie.

For a second there, I thought you were going to start

without me, and it scared me.

Hey, what makes you think that?

You don't have to be scared, unless you're

being scared with me.



Yeah.

I'll be scared with you.

That sounds good, baby.

Yeah.

Oh, I don't know.

[sighs] I'm having grief from my Mom's funeral today.

I'm like, mad and sad too.

I know you're sad, baby.

But don't be sad, get glad.

She's in a better place now, OK?

Now, get over it and let's fuck.

Oh-- OK.

[sighs] It's been 24 hours.

I need to move on.



That's right.

Now, I'm here for you, baby.

Remember that, OK?

I'm here for ya.

But I'm also really horny.

And I know you are too, so finish washing up, OK?

I love you.

I love you too, Johnny.

I'll be right in there waiting for you, OK?

Don't do anything without me.

If you do, you're dead.

OK, I'll be right in.

(QUIETLY) Yes.

Oh, yeah.

Oh.

[squeak]

[music playing]

Ah, yeah.

Oh.

Oh, yeah.

Oh.

Oh, that's what I'm talking about.

That's what I'm talking about.

Oh, yeah.

She gonna get some Mr. Big stuff tonight.

Oh, yeah.

You like it, don't ya?

Oh, yeah.

[squeak]

Babe?

Ah!

Oh!

Ah!

[choking noises]

Debbie going camping?

Have you been eating jelly?

[screams]

[screams]

DIRECTOR: Annnd cut!

Oh, honey.

That was great.

ACTRESS: Are you sure?

DIRECTOR: Oh, really, really wonderful.

ACTRESS: No.

I thought I was really, really bad.

Oh.

I mean, seriously.

Where are the Golden Globes?

Golden Globes?

How was I? -Debbie?

Can I-- can I get-- can I get a shot?

OK. PHOTOGRAPHER: Can I get a shot?

Great.

You know, you make a tasty--

Excellent. ACTRESS: Thank you, so much.

Thanks.

Thank you.

[excited chatter]

That was a great picture.

She's so beautiful.

Whatever. [sighs] Does she look OK?

Does she need any touch ups?

She looks great to me.

I mean, all of her.

Thank god.

I'm tired.

I'm going to my trailer to get high.

Let me know if anyone needs anything.

DIRECTOR: We're going to rehearse one more time.

Do you party? ACTRESS: Did I do bad?

DIRECTOR: We're going to rehearse.

I want you to rehearse.

You mean like a cast party?

ACTRESS: Really?

Well, because I mean-- well, I didn't think

that anybody really--

What I want you to do is to inhale,

make your chest rise when you scream.

Scream? How was my scream?

ACTRESS: How was that?

Was it OK?

You know, I believed you when you were dead.

Rod, you're a wrap.

DIRECTOR: How was I?

You're a wrap.

Not on the set.

I told you, not on the set.

What a fucking pervert.

Why is he shooting this scene again?

What are you talking about?

That was awful.

Exactly.

For this piece of shit movie, it's perfect.

The writing sucks ass.

The acting's even worse.

And he's over there directing the scene with his cock.

And why is he wanting to shoot again, Jenkins?

Because it's a nude scene.

He's going to have them get naked again

and again and again.

Time is money, time is money-- what he always says.

But when it comes to tits and dicks nothing else matters.

He's already got us six days behind schedule

because he can't stop thinking about getting his dick wet.

[sigh] I should be directing this movie.

I got ya.

So what page in the script do you appear?

Not until page 15.

Well if he keeps this up, expect to be sitting

around waiting for a while.

[sigh] Now I've got to make calls and reschedule

everything for tomorrow.

She can't even act, can she?

Fuck no, that doesn't matter.

It's way it works.

It's not who you know, it's who you blow.

Well, I got here because of my acting.

JENKINS: [laughter] Well we'll see how far that'll get you,

won't we?

Fucking actors.

FEMALE PORN STAR: I don't think I did, who did I do?

Well, at least she dies in the first ten minutes.

[screams]

Oh, perfect.

One more time.

Were you scared?

DIRECTOR LAURENT: You were perfect.

What time is it?

DIRECTOR LAURENT: Now all I need is

just a little more motivation. -Too late.

You think? FEMALE PORN STAR: Like this?

DIRECTOR LAURENT: Just remember, we really want to make them--

You ever just feel like picking this tripod up

and stabbing somebody with it?

[screaming]

No, not at all.

[screaming]

[laughter]

One more time.

[screaming]

Oh, beautiful.

Yeah.

[door slam]

[phone dailing]

[phone ringing]

[door slam]

[phone ringing]

Nice try guys, the horror movie's done today, assholes.

[phone ringing]

[bird chirping]

I'm not going to being doing stupid stuff,

like getting coffee and donuts, am I?

Ryan, I thought you were going to be open minded.

No, what I said was I was going to be open to being open mind.

I just want to be on a movie set and see how it all works.

I know.

And I got you on so you need to be on your best behavior

or I won't tell Aunt Sue.

Why don't you just let me do what I do.

I'm kind of scared to do that.

Ha-ha, OK.

-I don't know if I trust you-- -Right.

at all. You just got here.

Here we go again.

Yup, but we're almost done so we can get going on ours.

Man, I can't wait.

Dude, the premise is so original.

It can't fail.

I'm still co-producer and sound, right?

Yeah.

Cool.

Hey there, Eye Candy. -Hey guys.

How you doing?

Good.

Oh, this is my cousin Ryan.

He's going to be one of our new PA's.

RYAN: Hey.

So you're going to be the new ass, eh kid?

Fetch us some water.

Excuse me?

My name is Ryan and I choose to be called as such.

Well we can call you such--

Yeah, we don't--

Hey guys, be nice.

It's his first time on a movie set, so don't be an ass,

please?

No problem, Eye Candy.

We'll be nice, we promise.

Oh, did you finish reading the script?

No, just tell me who the killer is.

Oh, you mean in the movie?

[slapping sound]

What do you--

All right guys, let's go make a movie.

Come on.

[inaudible]

Nice to meet you, as such.

And don't forget our waters.

So why do they call you "eye candy"?

OK, since the beginning of the trilogy, I've done slate.

And they just started calling me "Eye Candy slate girl."

So, why am I the ass?

It's short for assistant.

Don't take it personal.

Of courses it is.

Does that make you feel better?

Oh, much.

OK, good.

So what was the business back there

with the killer in the movie?

Let's just say there's a lot of very interesting

characters on this set.

OK.

And I'll keep it at that.

So, what do you mean by that?

Just take it with a grain of salt.

Hey, are you Harry?

Oh, I'm sorry.

Ho did you know?

Well, they told me you'd be in overalls,

so-- you're Mr. Chef-man, eh?

Yes, I own the Buggie Bag.

Oh, you can call me Eye Candy.

I'd tell you why, but it's a story.

I think I know why.

And this is my cousin, Ryan.

He's going to be one of our production assistants.

Oh, Ryan, I might need assistance

especially in the serving.

Why don't you get us checked in?

RYAN: Fine.

I need a room.

Oh, very good.

Oh, I know you're all family, but does he have

a little sugar in his tank?

You mean, is he gay?

I, uh--

Why don't you go ask him yourself.

I don't know.

He's going to be serving food, I'm afraid he

might give him the gay.

Harry, you should know better than that.

Well, I'm not too partial on this,

but uh-- what if he hits on me?

I don't think you're going to have to worry about that.

Well to be on the safe side, I think I'll

stay on my side of the set.

[door opening]

Christ on a Kosher cracker.

I am over it.

It is hotter outside than Rosie O'Donnell

pussy in the Sahara Desert.

My hair has fallen and stuck to my forehead

like a Mexican who's mowed my lawn after nine

hours with no lunch break.

Oh no, no.

No petit dejeuner for little Pepito.

Even after my favorite hair product was

applied not once, but twice.

And my makeup-- which I may add, is supposedly waterproof--

thank you very much.

Needless markup-- it's Neiman Marcus for those of you

who are cosmetically challenged like Mr. Overalls Backwards

Just Stepped Out of Deliverance Movie over there.

Anyways, my makeup is dripping off me

like sweat off Whitney Houston's forehead

after belting out the last few notes

of "Greatest Love of All."

And to top it all off, I just broke up

with my boyfriend who cheated on me with some

drugged out circuit boy.

That ex-boyfriend is outside at my car at this moment

getting his stuff together.

Since we're under contract to work together

for this entire production now.

Am I bitter?

No.

Missy is not happy.

Hi, Eye Candy, love the hat.

[door opening]

Thanks.

Hi, everyone.

Pathetic, worn-out bitch.

Trashy overused whore.

[door opening]

[heavy metal music]

I guess this is it.

Oh, it's cool.

I'm so excited.

(SARCASTICALLY) Yeah, me too.

Very excited.

Come on, at least try.

Act a little excited, maybe?

Excited about being the semi-dorky,

can't get the leading man, girl-next-door supporting

character again.

I'm so excited.

Look at it this way.

You didn't die in the last film.

You are slowly becoming the star.

Yeah, becoming.

This is the third one and it's probably the last.

Maybe I could be lead if I stuffed my bra or something.

Baby, don't you know that in my movie,

you will always be the star?

You are such a bad actor.

[laughter]

So, what kind of movie is it that you're making?

It's-- it's a religious movie.

Oh, so you're making a religious movie

for the whole family, is that it?

Isn't it wonderful?

[phone ringing]

Hello?

I can't hear you.

So, what is you're movie about?

It's quite beautiful.

I based it on a truly inspirational experience

that I had with the Lord.

You don't say.

What happened?

I was watching Jan Crouch one day-- you know,

the pink-haired woman?

Oh, I love her.

I adore her.

I've TiVo'ed all of her episodes.

Anyway this one day, she looked right into the screen

and I swear she was looking right at me.

What did she say?

She said--

PRODUCER JENKINS: Are you fucking kidding me?

That's the most fucked up thing I've ever heard.

We're trying to shoot a movie here.

What's so hard about that?

I'll call you back.

Anyway, as I was saying, Mrs. Shepard.

Is very legit.

Wonderful writing, great acting, it's all about the characters

and their emotional journeys they take

to discover themselves and their inner

being dedicated to the Lord.

OK, then.

Sounds delicious.

Could I give you a tour?

Absolutely, we'd love to see your charming town.

Oh good, come right this way.

Hey guys, Mr. Wellington's here.

MR. WELLINGTON: All right, everybody listen up.

It's really good to see everyone again.

I don't have a lot of time stay with you tonight,

but I just wanted to introduce everyone to our new lead.

This is Ms. Cumming.

You can call me Ophelia.

MR. WELLINGTON: As you can see, she's

got the looks, the talent, the "it" factor

that I think our lead actress really needs to have.

Ophelia, is there anything else you'd like to say?

I'd just like to say thank you, and I'm going to make

is the best movie it can be.

And we're very happy to have you.

Thank you.

Everyone, let's give her a big round of applause.

[applause]

Hi, I'm the producer.

Nice to meet you.

Let me introduced you to the rest of the cast.

Hey man, how are you?

What'd you think?

Oh man, it's perfect.

It's perfect.

I thought you'd like her.

But guess what?

I'm going into town tonight, I just

got another one tonight, so--

You know how to pick them. Happy hunting.

Yeah I know.

Hey, let me know how it works out, OK?

-It's going to work out perfect. -All right.

-Have a safe trip. -OK, I'll see you later.

[slam]

Damn it, come on.

Hey, what's wrong?

Uh-- machine took my money.

What kind of drink did you want?

Just something with bubbles.

Yeah?

Well I have some in my room?

Aw, I probably shouldn't do that.

Why not?

I'm just trying to be a nice and neighborly customer.

Well I'm actually with Angela.

We're together.

Hey I'm just offering you a drink.

If it's that big of a deal, done then just never mind.

You know what?

I've been stupid.

I would love one. -Yes?

Come on, follow me.

So I guess we're going to working together.

Eh, yup?

Hey, so I'm actually having a problem with my crying scenes.

I just can't seem to get them on the spot.

Maybe we could rehearse together?

Oh, yeah.

I don't see why we can't do that.

Tell me, what do you think of when

you feel nervous or scared?

Angela--

Angela?

Brock.

Ophelia.

Oh, so you're Angela.

No wonder you're in the supporting role.

Excuse me?

Oh my gosh, did I say that out loud?

I am so sorry, it's very nice to meet you.

Where are you going?

Well actually, it was kind of funny because I just wanted

a soda so I went to the machine but it wouldn't take my money--

I see.

Actually, they're Mr. Wellington's.

I don't drink soda.

It goes right through me.

Well looks like some of it stuck around.

I think Brock and I will being going

to my room to rehearse lines.

Do you know that is, Ms. Cumming?

Learning and rehearsing lines?

Of course I do.

Wow, from rehearsal I couldn't tell.

You couldn't?

Well maybe that's why you're not the lead.

It's not from lack of talent.

Same here.

I was talking about acting talent.

I wasn't.

You're a great actress, I'm a great fuck.

It just so happens I'm better a mine than you're at yours.

So why don't we just get along for the next three

weeks-- sounds good?

I'd rather have a supporting role for my acting

than a lead for being a slut.

Hm.

Why don't I believe that Angela?

Hey Brock, the good stuff is in my room when you want it.

[knock]

Fuck me.

Aye.

Christ.

Shit.

Christ on a shitbag.

This sucks.

Excuse me, do you know where the director's room is?

Don't talk to me.

Don't you dare talk to me.

I am not in the mood.

Excuse me, do you happen to know

where the directors room is?

I'm sorry but I'm busy.

I'm Gil, the behind the scenes guys.

And I'm busy.

Hey are you Gil?

Yes, I'm Gil Travis.

I'm doing behind the scenes.

Nice equipment Gil.

Thanks.

I bet you get a lot, huh?

I'm just kidding.

Are you looking for the director?

-Yes. -He's right over.

Come on, follow me.

Thanks.

Hey, hey hey hey!

Please stop, please!

Thank god.

Thanks.

I thought I was going to have to walk all the way into town.

Do you know about cars?

I guess mine overheated or something.

I'll find a mechanic tomorrow and take care of it.

I'm shooting a movie there.

Yeah, it's a horror movie.

It's called Fright Flick.

Actually it's called "Fright Flick Part Three."

It's the second and last sequel.

They're not very good but they're

a lot of fun to work on.

You don't say much, do you.

That's, that's fine.

I probably just talk too much anyway.

That's what I do when I get nervous, I talk.

Sorry.

Is this a shortcut?

Yeah, you must be from around here.

You know all the backways and shortcuts around this area,

don't you.

Why don't you answer me?

You need to slow down.

OK, OK enough of this shit.

Stop the car now.

I'm not messing around.

Stop jerking off and stop the fucking car.

OK.

No need to do anything like that now.

Let's just stay calm.

What do you want? My wallet?

It's in my pocket you can have anything you want,

just put down the knife.

DIRECTOR LAURENT: So what's going on with Kenny?

I don't know, he never returned my calls.

So you know what you have to do, don't you?

Yes, he has to be replaced.

And who shall it be?

Don't you ever knock, Eddie?

Come in.

Hey you guys, I'm sorry.

This is Gil, our being the scenes guy.

Well, hi Gil.

So you're Gil?

Yeah.

Whenever ya'll are done I'll show him to his room.

I'm all ready to get started.

So how do you feel about doing production stills for us?

Wait, I do production stills.

Not anymore, Eddie.

What do you think?

Yeah, I guess.

Yeah.

Well Eddie, it looks like you're in charge now.

You're going to be the assistant director.

What about Kenny?

Don't worry about Kenny.

Do you want the job or not?

I don't know what to say.

I'm so honored that you would even consider me.

Say yes?

Yes.

Yes.

So when we get started?

In an hour.

Yeah I don't need that anymore.

PRODUCER JENKINS: Perfect.

So that's it.

DIRECTOR LAURENT: And now I need my creative alone time.

Ho revior, (SPEAKING FRENCH) tend get out.

Hey Gil?

Wanna hang out a bit?

EYE CANDY: Hey Gil, if you're done

I'll show you to your room.

EDDIE: What am I supposed to say again?

DIRECTOR LAURENT: Say "quiet on the set," Eddie.

You're the new assistant director now.

EDDIE: Quiet on the set now!

Scene 46, take 29.

DIRECTOR LAURENT: And action.

I'm so sorry, Darling.

I'm strong and all but it's the darkness.

It reminds me of when I was a little girl

and I used to get molested by my dad anus-ly and vagina-ly.

I can't talk about it but I must.

Or I'll never be not afraid of the dark anymore.

I just can't.

I don't want to be scared anymore.

I can't be.

It's been just too long.

I'm not the Virgin that I thought I should be.

The darkness it's just so dark and it's me, not my dad.

Me-- the monsters is me.

Now is he going to kill me in the darkness because it's me?

And we're one?

DIRECTOR LAURENT: And cut.

Oh, that was beautiful.

I was moved.

What did you think?

She's a slut that can't act, that's one thing.

Angela.

I'm sorry, what take was that Brock?

29.

And she said it exactly the same way each time.

Fine.

Did you ask Mr. Laurent about your lines?

Yeah, he said no.

He likes to keep "anus-ly" and "vagina-ly" in the script.

"Vagina-ly" is good?

DIRECTOR LAURENT: That's a wrap for tonight, people.

Bonsoir.

[interposing voices]

[door slam]

[error beep]

[error beep]

God damn it.

[error beep]

Hey, somebody want to slide my card?

I just pumped gas out here.

The machine wasn't working and I need someone to slide my card.

Hello, is anybody home?

Hey is anybody here to slide my card?

I bought some gas out there.

Fuck, where is everybody in this goddamn place?

I guess I got a free tank of gas.

Hey, I'm sorry.

I didn't know there was anybody here.

I'm not trying to get any free gas or anything.

I'll be right in.

Sorry, sorry, sorry.

Here's my card.

I didn't mean anything buy it.

Where the fuck did you go?

[screaming]

[crunch]

[screaming]

[coughing]

OK, so remind me.

What was it that we needed to change on this?

Not really change it.

We just need to have the lead actress

to have some emotional trauma.

Maybe from her childhood.

You know the audience will--

Relate to her better.

Exactly.

Got it, got it, got it.

OK.

Wait.

Wait a minute.

Maybe it was the lead mechanic.

He could have known her back when she was a little girl.

And knew who she was all along.

The psycho speed demon from the satanic auto shop of death.

Oh, it's perfect.

No, it's great.

I can't wait for this flick is over

so we can get started on ours.

[door knock]

Hey guys.

Boy, that sure was a great day of shooting.

So uh, am I still in?

Yeah, if you can keep your big mouth shut.

I can keep secrets.

By the way, why are we keeping a secret?

I mean, if it's your guys' idea and story--

Don't you know anything, Eddie?

Have you not been involved on the set

for the last two movies?

You are such a clueless bitch.

Should we tell him?

The first Fright Flick wasn't written by you-know-who.

What do you mean?

It was Producer Jenkin's script.

After he wrote it, he showed it to Chad and me.

A couple days later, me, Kat, and Jenkins were arranging

a pre-production meeting.

We couldn't find the script.

The funny thing was there was only one copy.

Yeah, fast forward six months, we get a phone call

from Mr. Director saying that Mr. Wellington

is interested in funding a movie he wrote called "Fright Flick."

So now Jenkin's script is about a group

20 year-olds in a hotel with two killers on the loose.

Mr. Director's script had a bunch of teenagers at a motel

with one killer on the loose.

Jenkin's couldn't do anything about it.

I mean, the script was just different enough to where

he couldn't touch him legally.

So now Jenkins is stuck producing his own script

and Direct Laurent takes all the credit.

Why would Mr. Laurent offer that job to Jenkins?

I don't know.

Guilt?

Highly doubtful.

So Eddie, do you think we want anyone on the set

to know of our script?

Huh?

Hell no.

OK, I understand.

You do?

I won't tell anybody.

Promise.

Are you making any friends, Ryan?

I guess.

You haven't, have you?

They don't like me here.

Well as long as you stand outside

by yourself being a total snot, they're not going to.

Now go make a friend.

You know what?

I'll go make a friend when you tell them your real name.

Don't be a little bitch.

Whatever.

Hey, Eye Candy, can see I see you in my room for a minute--

Yeah.

-alone? -Yeah.

OK. -You go make a friend.

-I'll be right back. -You go make a friend.

-It's not that kind of friend. -Right.

Be right back.

Hey.

Does anybody want to be my friend?

I heard that.

No.

Nothing.

Right.

And end scene.

[laughter] Oh, man.

KAT: This is going to kick ass.

Hello, we are the writers.

That's right.

What the hell was I thinking?

I'm like-- this is awesome.

I'm hungry.

Yeah I could pretty much go for a snack myself.

Oh hell no.

Hell no.

I went and got stuff last time.

KAT: You did not, I did.

Bring on.

Fuck.

Sucks.

All right.

But you get to type in all the new stuff.

All right, I don't want to type.

OK, I'll say and you can go.

All right.

It's not that big of a deal.

I'll go.

What do you want?

Um, why don't you just pick me up a hot dog

with lots of Ketchup.

OK, you know, I think I'm going to go

get those dingy-dongs things with the cream filled.

Don't waste your money on that stuff

because we've got a couple of those right down here.

I'm not in the mood for your mini-puffs, OK?

I'm going to get food.

I'll be back.

All right.

Hey grab me some curly fries, too-- when you're out.

KAT: OK, got it.

With lots of Ketchup.

KAT: OK.

You know what, just the whole damn bottle.

KAT: All right.

One of those big squeezy ones.

KAT: Start typing.

And, and, and, and--

[door slam]

Are you serious?

When do they think they're shooting it?

Within the next six months.

Now, you can't tell anyone, promise?

I promise?

I promise.

But why are you telling me?

Do you guys want me to do slate again?

Well actually I was thinking you could be in it.

Are you serious?

Like how do you mean?

Like, you want me to do like a lead?

Exactly.

Shut up.

You're serious. You're kidding.

You're serious?

Oh my god, I'd love to.

What can I say, and do what I can?

But I mean, they're cool with this?

Like, you referred me?

They're totally fine with it?

Yeah.

Ah!

It was all your idea, too-- wasn't it?

It was my idea.

Why are you doing this, Eddie?

Because I think you deserve it.

Thank you for taking care of me, Eddie.

You're welcome.

Hey Chad, what are you doing?

Checking to see if I got your hot dog?

I got that and your Ketchup.

We're covered dude, I got it.

Shit.

You could get out and help.

They're your french fries.

I got you a whole damn bottle.

Screw it.

If you're not going to get your ass out, I'm not doing it.

Give me a ride.

OK, stop jacking around.

[engine revving]

OK, now you're freaking me out.

Ow.

Damn it.

You asshole.

What are you trying to be?

The psycho speed demon from the satanic auto-shop of death?

Shit ass.

French fries-- all you have left is

your weenie and your Ketchup.

[wheels speeding]

Hey, have you guys seen my camera?

My behind the scenes--

I have-- not.

Try Kat and Chad's room they have lots of equipment there.

Hey man, have you seen Kat?

No, have you seen my camera?

No.

Hey guy have you seen Kat?

She didn't come back to her room last night.

What do you mean?

Where did she go?

Laurent is going to kill her if she doesn't get to set on time.

Hey guys, just let me know if you see her, OK?

Hey, hey have you seen Kat?

No, I can't find my slate.

Where's my slate?

So when I say "boom up" just lift the mic up like this OK?

OK.

We're doing that so we don't get the mic in the shot.

OK got it.

All right.

But it's so heavy.

Let's just try one, all right?

OK.

Boom up.

Boom up.

I said fucking boom up!

I am.

You're not doing it right.

I just showed your ass.

Well then get somebody else to do it.

Gill, I think I found one of your tapes.

You did?

Yeah.

Where did you get it?

It was strange was that when those--

DIRECTOR LAURENT: Eye Candy, we need you over here.

OK, OK, I'll be right there.

DIRECTOR LAURENT: No, now.

OK.

I'll tell you later.

CAMERA MAN: Rolling.

Quiet on the set.

DIRECTOR LAURENT: And action!

If these deaths don't stop there's

not going to be any of us left.

However will we stop this madness?

What we need to do is find out what the murderer's motive is.

Why is he killing?

Oh, if I had my Magic 8 ball with me

we'd have all the answers.

I need to stop them.

I need to stop the murderers.

No, don't.

They'll kill you, too.

That's a chance I'll have to take.

My hero.

And cut.

Oh that was beautiful.

Did you like that?

It was really good.

Did you feel that? I really felt it.

It's power-- it was strong.

Drink, drink?

Oh, great.

Yeah definitely.

Here you go.

Oh, thank you.

Sure.

Hey, Jenks.

Have you heard from her yet?

Nope.

Of course not.

Chad hasn't either.

Well then that's it.

Kat's fired.

You got it.

You're blocking my wind.

Yeah?

Here's your tap.

It's yours, right?

Yeah.

Did you watch it?

No.

OK, thanks.

That was a great shoot.

Whoop de doo.

Womp, womp, womp, womp.

You get tired of all that shit.

I mean, that's why I left him.

I mean, that's why I cheated on him.

But that little hottie, Ryan-- I think they call him "The Ass."

Mmm, that's a little sweet thing.

-That's just how I am. -I know, you're moody.

I'm not moody.

I know but you're so--

OK so you want me to call you an ass

and you'd be happy with it, huh?

Yes, because I know the meaning.

-The meaning of an ass. -Yes.

-Assistant. -Yes.

-Never heard of that in my life. -You're an assistant.

Get over it.

I'd love to show you how it's all done here on the set.

Bring me your camera.

If I could hire and fiew--

So did you learn what you have to say on set yet?

I can't be in the darkness.

I was moved by you darling.

I was in the darkness.

Well I just-- I just don't like her.

I mean, she's a bad actress and she's

flirting with my boyfriend.

I'm going to kill that bitch.

She thinks she's better than me,

and prettier than me, and a better actress.

We all know who the better access is and it's me

but not because I'm screwing the writer, and the producer,

and the director, and the gaffer,

and everyone else who's on staff.

Shit head.

Who do you think you are, the psycho speed demon?

Here are your french fries.

Now all you have is your weenies and your Ketchup.

[crash]

[door knocking]

Hey, what's up?

Hey is Eye Candy here?

Nope.

Hey what's up?

What did I do?

Hey, what was is that you gave to Gill?

Why?

I was just wondering.

That's one of his tapes.

What did it look like?

I don't know, like a tape.

Was there anything on it?

Yeah, just a label that said, "play me."

Why, what's wrong?

And I still haven't found one of my cameras.

Was this real, or what?

It looks fake to me.

It's probably someone trying to pitch their script idea to me.

So that my directing talents can turn their mediocre story

line into absolute gold.

How typical.

I don't know what you're talking about.

I'm not even a writer.

How dare you question me-- and in my room.

Actually it's my room.

I'm the director.

I am sorry.

Come on guys.

It looks like a joke to me.

The only thing it's going to get them

is fired as soon as I find out who it is.

Let's just not tell anyone right now.

What's that?

Ow.

Hey.

Eddie.

What the fuck are you doing here?

Now?

I uh-- my room doesn't have any water and I'm thirsty

and I've got to take my pill.

What did you hear?

Everything.

Shit.

Listen I think there's something you guys should know.

Like what?

Follow me.

I'll show you.

This is a script that Kat and Chad have been working on.

They're wanting to shoot it later this year.

What is this, a screenplay?

So what does this have to do with what's the going on,

Eddie?

Well the script is about an auto shop and in this auto shop

there are murders happening.

Yeah, so what?

Well in the story, the killer videotapes the murders

and then he leaves them on people's doorsteps

so they'll find them and watch them.

Kind of like the one you he has.

So you're telling me Kat and Chad may have something

to do with these tapes?

Where are they?

I mean, I know Kat's missing but where's Chad?

If they have anything to do with this they're in deep shit.

Eddie, the minute you see Chad, tell him to come to our room.

He's got some explaining to do.

And Eddie?

Yeah.

Well done.

Thanks.

I need to see you.

I didn't-- Whatever.

It's 10:55.

Come on, where are you?

Is that you?

Hey, I need to know what's going on.

Did you make that tape?

Why did you make that tape?

How did you know it was in my script?

Oh, so you stole my car, too?

Where are you?

What the fuck is the matter with you?

Hey Gill, Mrs. Shepard invited us to go swimming in her pool

if you want to come.

Everyone's going.

Sure I'll be there.

All right, cool.

When the Lord hands you lemon weather like today,

make lemonade.

That's what I always say.

Merci beaucoup.

You betcha.

How's the movie coming?

Any important messages in today's scene?

Today was a scene about--

How being in hell.

Oh yes, hell.

Always a good one.

Always a good one.

[clapping]

[laughter]

I still can't find Kat and now Chad's missing.

And what are you going to do about it?

I don't know.

You can't really tell anybody.

That would just cause panic and production to stop.

Yeah, we can't have that.

We've got to get this movie finished.

But what if something really did happen to them?

And what if it's a fake and they're just

trying to pull one off on us?

For what reason?

To pitch their script, what else?

Why the hell would they do that?

You'd just steal it.

Change a few things and make your own version.

What you just said say?

Nothing.

Oh no.

Come on Jenkins.

Repeat it for me.

I said you'd steal it just like you did mine.

We've been through this a million times.

You know that's not what happened.

Then what happened.

I don't have to explain myself to you or anybody else.

Don't be so damn mad that there's

some similarities between this movie

and a weak, poor attempt at a script you wrote two years ago.

Some similarities?

I don't have to steal someone else's script.

I've got brilliant ideas of my own.

Brilliant ideas, huh?

Like Debbie?

How dare you bring up Debbie?

HOTEL CLERK: Hello.

How'd the progression of the film

in production coming along?

Great.

Very good.

You son of a bitch.

Asshole.

Hello?

Is anybody there?

I'll be with you in a second.

Hello?

I'll be with you in a moment.

Where's my lip balm?

What the Dewey Decimal?

Hey Mrs. Shephard.

Hello there.

Would you like a glass of my famous lemonade?

It's heavenly.

No thanks, I'm good.

No, I insist.

Everyone's out back.

Could you tell me what this is?

Of course.

That's our local library.

Why?

Are you doing research for the movie?

No, just wondering.

Thanks.

I have a Bible on my coffee table if you need it.

No thanks.

Excuse me.

May I assist you with something?

I'm not sure.

Wait.

Do you have a primary, secondary, or tertiary

relationship with the film production that's in town?

I'm doing behind the scenes.

Stupendous.

Ethnobotany.

Yeah, ongoing interaction between ecology and cognition.

Of course it's under constant modification because

of shifting culture beliefs and edibility,

efficacy, and sensory appeal.

So fascinating.

It's all right.

Just a minute.

Who gave this to you?

Anonymous.

I don't know.

Somebody just deposited it on my desk this morning.

Do you have internet access here?

[giggling] Absolutely.

Come with me.

Eye Candy, you leaving?

Yeah, we're going back to the hotel.

We'll see you there.

Did you want to come?

That depends.

Sissy, you going to stay?

I kind of want to go back to the hotel.

OK.

I'm coming.

OK.

Do we just want to go back there and do whatever?

OK.

[interposing voices]

Did the party leave?

I'm still here, Harry.

Care to join?

[sigh]

Oh, that stupid bitch.

You gave the script to Producer Jenkins and Producer Laurent?

Yes, I'm sorry.

Am I still the lead?

Yes.

Are you sure?

Of course you are.

I'm going to go somewhere a little less awkward.

Maybe that's not the way they are.

Hey.

Hey.

EDDIE: (OVERHEARD) They said they stole Jenkin's script.

It doesn't mean they're going to steal this one.

We can still do Kat and Chad's script.

Get real, Eddie.

They're going to steal it, they're

going to find money to shoot it, and I'm

not going to be acting in it.

I'll be lucky if I'm doing slate.

Thanks a lot.

See, that's what you get for being a total kiss-ass.

Hey, here's Kat and Chad's script Mr. Laurent.

They're probably even playing a trick on us.

Such a fucking tattle tale.

Eye Candy, stop it.

Look, I didn't do that.

I won't let that happen.

Uh.

I promise.

You're still the lead, like I said.

And here I am kissing your ass for absolutely nothing.

That's what you wanted, wasn't it?

Me being all over you?

How did that make you feel?

Did that make you feel better?

Because that's all you're going to get from me.

The only thing I found attractive about you

was that script.

What was that about?

Hey Ryan, whatcha doing?

Just playing my game.

I can see that.

Yup.

Actually, I got a new PDA.

Would you mind helping me put some games on it?

Pass.

Dude, you just going to stay out here all night

and play that by yourself?

Fine, where is it?

It's in my room.

Follow me.

You are planning on working on another movie with Kat and Chad

and you didn't even ask if I wanted to be in it?

It was a secret.

Oh, but you told Eye Candy and you

even offered her the lead role?

Eddie, do you know how long I've been wanting to be the lead?

I'm sorry, Angela.

It's not like that.

It's really not.

It's complicated.

I have nowhere to go.

Spill it.

--[clears throat] The library closes in 10 minutes.

OK, thanks.

Sure.

[door knocking]

Come in.

[door knocking]

Hello?

[door knocking]

Guys, this isn't funny.

I'm not scared.

And when I walk in, there he is going downtown

on some guy on the dance floor.

Can you believe that, Harry?

He was hot, though.

For a second there I wasn't sure whether I should have

kicked his ass or taken over.

I went uptown.

Downtown, Harry.

Downtown.

I went downtown on a girl.

It was nice.

Harry.

I am drunk and a little bit stoned.

Do you want me to throw up?

Well should we fire up another one, Harry?

[mumbling] We can't.

Why not?

No papers.

Well shit.

You don't think she'd have any, do you?

[laughter]

Mrs. Shepard?

Are you here?

Let's see what we can find.

Hey.

You think she'll notice?

You ever heard of sexual chocolate?

No, what is it?

A candy bar?

Could be.

Where's the game.

Right here.

What makes you think I'm gay?

Show me your nails.

Mhmm.

Straight males show their nails with their palms up.

That doesn't mean anything.

And you also have Madonna's Immaculate Collection

and the Dreamgirls soundtrack in your car.

And you like Margaret Cho, right?

[door knocking]

Oh my god, it's Chase.

She is going to scratch both of our eyes out.

Hide.

We're not doing anything.

She don't have to know that.

Just move, bitch.

I'm coming.

What are you doing here?

What are you doing with that?

Uh!

[thud]

[door slam]

Hello?

Is someone here?

Do you need a room?

I've got quiet and peaceful rooms here.

I've got dirty movies X-rated if you like.

Hello?

BROCK: Ophelia?

Look, you listen to me.

I know you don't like it very much but you cannot--

you are not allowed to tell Angela, all right.

Because despite the fact that I'm here,

I actually still love her.

This is simply a career move for me, all right?

And that's it.

So if you're cool with that, then we're fine.

I guess you like it kinky.

All right.

Well.

Come and get it.

Ophelia?

You want me to come find you, is that it?

I can hear you.

I can-- what are you--

[gasping]

Well, it does say in Genesis, "And God gave us herb."

[door opening]

Oh, shit.

Oh god, it's you.

Where's Mrs. Shepard?

I don't know.

Where's the garage?

I don't know.

Oh, no.

Kumar?

Are you here?

Hello?

Kumar?

Well now, where is everybody?

Oh my lord.

Jenkins?

Angela?

What are you doing?

Are you OK?

Yeah, yeah.

I'm fine.

What are you doing?

No, no, no, no. Don't come over here.

-[gasp] -Stay back.

No, no it's not what you think.

[screaming]

Somebody help me!

[interposing voices]

[screaming]

Let go of me!

Just let me explain it to you.

[shouting]

-Get off! -Be quiet!

Shut up!

[screaming]

Shit.

Ryan?

Where did you go?

Psst.

Eye Candy, come here.

Mr. Laurent?

Is that blood on your hands?

I said, be quiet.

Stay over there, stay over there.

I'm not going to hurt you.

I promise.

What happened?

Jesus, Jenkins.

That was a hard punch.

I'm sorry, Angela.

I'm waiting.

I didn't kill Brock.

I just found his body.

MR. LAURENT: I didn't kill her.

I found Ophelia dead in her room.

I was just trying to hide the body.

Why would you hide the body if you didn't do it?

We're just going to sit here until Mr. Laurent says it's OK.

He's calling the shots.

Young man, why are you helping someone who may be a killer?

Because these movies are all I've got

and I'm not going to lose them.

I've never been good at anything else.

This is all I know.

He's in charge and I'm going to do what he says.

He said to get rid of any witnesses.

That's what I'm going to do.

Get rid of any witnesses?

You're going to shoot me?

I have to.

It all began when we were shooting the original movie.

Our lead actress--

Debbie--

Yeah, Debbie.

We had a deal.

She would have the lead as long as she didn't tell my wife.

And although she was the lead, her character in the movie

gets killed in the end.

[screaming]

She wasn't satisfied with that.

She had to be the survivor so that she

could be in the sequel.

And I said no, that's not part of the deal.

The script would stay as it was.

And so after we shot her death scene, she came into my room.

Threatened to tell my wife.

So I agreed to do it her way.

She'd have the lead, and she'd be in the sequel.

But I lied.

I couldn't change the script without everybody knowing

that something was going on.

So after she left my room, I followed Debbie into hers

and I killed her.

Oh my god.

You're a monster.

No, she broke the rules.

You shouldn't have been sleeping with her.

She shouldn't have been sleeping with me, either.

We have to tell someone.

No-- who you going to tell?

The police?

They can't do anything, anyway.

Why not?

They can't arrest somebody for murder if there's no body.

Why didn't you go to the police instead

of helping him hide her body?

If the police had gotten involved I wouldn't have

been able to finish the movie.

I wouldn't have gotten my cut.

I needed that money.

Jenkins.

A woman was killed and you chose to be an accomplice

to murder for a cut of profits?

Jenkins?

Mr. Laurent?

Eye Candy?

Anyone?

Hello?

We gotta get out of her, now!

What did you do with the body?

Nothing.

The funny thing is the body was never found.

I know I'm as guilty as Mr. Laurent.

But I didn't kill anyone.

You didn't kill Brock?

JENKINS: No.

Mr. Laurent did?

No.

Then who did?

Somebody saw me do it.

Who?

I don't know.

But that person is still here with us.

We have to tell someone.

Either of us could be next.

Whatever was going on back then is still going on now.

I don't want anything to do with this.

I'm getting the fuck out of here.

Maybe he's after you-- maybe you deserve it.

I'm all about working on these movies

but I'm not about to fucking kill anybody in the process.

MR. LAURENT: No.

I'm getting the fuck out of here.

You can't go. No one can know.

You're not going anywhere.

You son of a bitch!

How dare you!

You fucking bitch, get back here.

Where is everyone?

We've got to get out of here now.

What's wrong?

It's Mrs. Shepard.

Did you hear something?

Get the fuck away from me, you murderer.

Look what you did to me.

You back stabbed me.

You should have trusted me.

Fucking crazy.

You're not getting out of here.

Fuck you.

[choking]

Bitch.

What are you doing?

I didn't know what to do.

Are you fucking out of your mind?

What did you do to her?

She's dead.

She was going to tell the police.

And now you have to help me.

Oh no, I'm not covering up this shit for you again.

Oh yes you will.

You'll cover it up and you'll hide the body,

just like you did Debbie's.

I didn't do anything with Debbie's body.

You did.

No, you did.

So you both covered it up.

Mrs. Shepard?

I know what you're doing Mrs. Shepard.

Of course you do, Gill.

You're supposed to.

You're doing all the killings.

You left the package at the library for me to find.

Yes, that is correct.

And a tape that said, "play me."

Also true.

Why are you doing this?

Why don't you ask Mr. Detective here?

I've given him all the clues he needs to know why.

She stole Kat and Chad's script from their room

and began murdering our crew just like the murders

from the script.

That way everyone would suspect that they were

the ones doing the killings.

Very good.

But what I don't get is why.

Ah yes.

The big question.

Why.

You don't know yet, Gill?

You couldn't read between the clues?

It had something to do with the lead from the first flick.

Debbie?

What do you say, Mr. Laurent?

Shall we spill the blood?

No.

[gun shot]

[screaming]

MRS. SHEPARD: All right, inside.

To the lobby, all of you.

I can't kill you out here in plain sight now, can I?

And if any of you tries running away

you're gonna end up just like him.

Come on. Right now.

Move.

Come on.

Right inside.

Keep moving, stay together.

You're not getting away with this.

Why not?

They did for years.

It was you that killed Brock and the others?

Killed is such a strong word.

I like to say avenged.

Avenged?

Why avenged?

Debbie was my daughter.

Oh my god.

MRS. SHEPARD: Yes, she was my baby.

She wanted the lead in your movie and she deserved it, too.

She was a wonderful and talented actress.

She didn't know what to do to convince Jenkins and Laurent

to cast her in the lead.

So she called the only person she knew she could

really count on-- her mother.

It was no secret that Mr. Laurent

used his status to get whatever he

wanted no matter what it took.

Right, Jenkins?

Mr. Laurent had always used Debbie.

So why not give him a taste of his own medicine.

I told her to use that against him

and threaten to tell his wife.

Well, after he had agreed to cast her in the lead

she was killed.

I heard her die on the phone.

No one was ever arrested.

Production didn't even stop.

No one was ever punished.

All of you covered it all up.

I didn't know.

Of course you did.

You all knew.

Except for you, Gill.

Well I couldn't leave my clues for the crew.

They might have figured out my plan.

But a newcomer?

Besides, you're not really the leading man type, are you Gill?

So.

here we are.

My daughter died so I'll of you have to die.

It's only fair.

You first.

Go, go, go.

Get the hell out of here!

[gun shot]

Two more.

We've gotta hide.

Where?

You OK?

OK, let's go.

[screaming]

Oh my goodness.

There is a killer loose.

There are dead bodies everywhere.

We have to go!

Quiet!

She's here.

It's Mrs. Shepard.

She's the killer.

Mrs. Shepard?

But I just saw her outside.

I never did like that mysterious geriatric old woman.

She give me the body goosebumps.

Do you have a phone?

Yes I have a phone.

Where is it?

It doesn't work.

Come on, we've got to get out of here.

ANGELA: We gotta get my keys. -I'm coming with you.

Where are the keys?

I'm looking.

They're somewhere around.

I can't find anything in here.

They've got to be around here somewhere.

[screaming]

It's just a prop.

I hate props!

Got it there somewhere, in your purse.

-OK. -OK.

Got 'em.

Let's go, go, go.

OK let's go.

[screaming]

You're turn.

Stay back.

[laughing]

Stay over there.

[screaming]

Gill?

Get the axe.

What?

Get the axe.

Oh no.

Go get help.

-I'm not leaving you. -Go.

No.

Do you trust me?

Angela, do you trust me?

Yes.

Are you OK?

Go.

Go.

Jenkins?

Fucking actors.

[car horn]

Look on the bright side.

You always wanted to be the lead.

MRS. SHEPARD: Oh no.

Too bad you won't be in the sequel.

ANGELA: Gill?

Gill?

Are you OK?

Yeah, I'm fine.

Can I come with you?

Yes, just right up on the bench.

I told you I'd be OK.

For a second there I thought I'd lost you.

Why?

Because I'm not the leading man type?

You're the lead in my movie.

I'm hungry.

I wonder what Mrs. Shepard got to eat up in here?

[yawn] What you doing?

Shit, you scared me.

I'm hungry.

Apparently the only thing she knows how to make for dinner

is reservations.

Maybe there's some food in there.

What's that?

I don't know.

That's excellent makeup.

Yes it is.

It looks real.

Whoa.

I'm hungry.

I'm hungry.

I wonder what Mrs. Shepard got to eat up in here.

[yawning] What you doing?

Shit, you scared me.

Apparently the only thing she knows how to make for dinner

is reservations.

Well maybe there's some food in there.

What's that?

I don't know.

Let's go see what everyone else is eating.

Yeah, let's go.

[heavy metal music]