French Film (2008) - full transcript

My films...

My films are about love.

Its beginnings. Its endings.
Its contracts.

Its tricks.

The scene from my film
La Fin du Commencement,

or The End of the Beginning.

The film portrays
a difficult opening.

- No?
- No.

How can one
take this relationship forward?

Well, they do.

And in doing so, I show
how the most unlikely of beginnings



can become the very glue
that holds the relationship together.

The start is everything.

Life is determined by the way it begin.

Even its end can be foreseen
by the way it began.

The world was created by an explosion,

and it will end by an explosion.

Love is the same.

Love is everything.

The only reason
my films are the same as love.

Prat.

The ending is in the beginning.

To understand that is to understand
the films of Thierry Grimandi.

and to understand life.

I like that. It's romantic.



You are joking.

We have to go.

The ending is in the beginning.

To understand this is to understand life.

The man's a dickhead.

And what are all those close-ups?

What is it about Gallic men that makes
them think they're so profound,

so knowledgeable about la vie,
about l'amour?

We have to go.

I don't know why we're doing this.

We're fine.

My father will be
spinning in his grave.

That will be the booze.

Oh, this is ridiculous.

- I've been thinking...
- Me too. Let's go home.

About your racism.

Do you think it might be a symptom
of your British repression?

It's not racism. It's xenophobia.
It's a completely different thing.

Yeah, racism is born out of ignorance,
xenophobia out of knowledge.

And what knowledge do you have?

If they'd spend more time grafting

and less time obsessing
about relationships,

we wouldn't have had to subsidize
their economy for the past 50 years.

Fucking frogs.

So what part of France
do you come from?

I spent some time in Paris.
Do you know it?

I do know Paris, yes.

- Of course you do.
- Course he does.

Everyone knows Paris.
Even my father knew Paris.

And he never left St. Albans.

- I went there.
- Jed.

I was writing an article
about a Czech novelist

who had moved there
during the communist regime.

That's what I do.

I write features and profiles
about artists.

Why?

I suppose I find it
relatively interesting.

I'd prefer if someone
was doing a piece about me,

- but until I write that novel...
- Why here?

Why couples counseling?

Right.

Well...

Darling.

We're not sure.

I'm not sure I understand
how this is gonna work.

We're just looking at each other.

Some people come to me
to save their relationship.

Others to end it.

Most to end it.

I proposed to her.

We're here because I proposed to her,
isn't that right?

Two weeks ago, yeah.

After 10 years of going out,

I took her to our favorite place,
our favorite view.

Your favorite view.

Waterloo Bridge facing east, you know.

St. Paul's, the Gherkin,
the view people write about.

"Waterloo Sunset" by The Kinks.

"Waterloo" by ABBA.

The most thought-provoking skyline
in London.

It's our favorite... Sorry, my favorite.

- and I went down on one knee
and I popped the question.

And I said no.

Mm-hm.

Tell me about the beginning,
how you met, fell in love.

Christ. Not you as well.
Is this a French thing?

Oh, God!

Okay, the beginning.
Well, I didn't mistake her for a hooker.

So that's something.

Thierry Grimandi. I'm doing a piece
about him. You probably know his...

Is there something you want to say,
Cheryl?

He's a fucking coward.

Would you like to address
directly to Jed?

Yes, would you like to do that?

You're a fucking coward.

What's so cowardly about asking
your girlfriend to marry you?

It takes a lot of guts, as it happens.

I spent months
trying to pluck up the courage,

- to forget about my parents.
- Guts? Proposing to me takes guts?

- I'm not coming back here.
- You bloody are.

I asked you to marry me.
Who gives a toss how we met?

There's nothing wrong
that can't be resolved

by you just working out
why you said no.

He's a miracle worker.

A film is like life,
is like love, like marriage.

You should always see the ending

within the first 15 minutes
of the beginning.

Relax. You just had another row.
You want me to be short?

Look who it is.

- Hey, Jed.
- How are you?

- I'm well, thanks.
- Good. God, it's been ages.

- Ooh!
- Ooh!

Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.

- Oh, it smells great.
- Thanks, Chanel number 41.

- Well, actually I meant the...
- It's Nigel Slater.

For a chef,
he makes good perfume.

Doesn't he just.
Completely wasted on Marcus, of course.

- Luddite.
- Food or perfume?

- Both.
- I'm not a Luddite, I'm a man.

I'm a man who likes his food simple
and substantial.

How ironic.
The same way I feel about my men.

You can't have just thrown this together.
Don't be ridiculous.

Dinner's always like this?

This food is amazing, Sophie.
You really put me to shame.

Yeah, didn't she?

Oh, come on, it's only food.
It all ends up in the same place.

You are so annoying.

Well, honestly.
I mean, no, no, you're a great cook,

but food has gotten out of hand.

I mean, do you know the kids
can now name more celebrity chefs

than they can members of the cabinet?

- Yeah, so can I.
- Don't be a twat.

- I'm serious.
- He is.

I'm glad chefs are more
influential than politicians.

- They're higher up the evolutionary scale.
- Oh, I agree. Cheers.

- Cheers.
- I'll go along with that.

Oh, great. So where are feature writers
in this evolutionary scale?

Above advertising executives.

Oh, mate. Compared to you
we're exploring space.

I think you'll find you're somewhere
between lawyers and mollusks.

Mind you, buddy, it's worth the wait.
These thumbs are amazing.

You see, you can all laugh,

but we have more influence
than any of you.

- What about magazine editors?
- Come on, you're worse than all of us.

Look, we explore the human condition.

Oh, the magic of fashion.

And agony aunts.

Besides, we give you work.

If it wasn't for us,
you just be failed novelists.

Ooh.

Marcus, how did you two meet?

Is this another feature you're doing?

- Yeah, kind of. Yeah.
- Jed.

No, it's interesting, the story.

You were interested in it earlier,
weren't you?

- So?
- You go ahead.

- Sophie saved my life.
- What?

I don't wanna get into too many details,
but a number of things had...

Things had got quite dark.

A sudden something
of an existential crisis, I guess,

because it made sense to kill myself.

It just seemed so simple.

It was a kind of elation.

I was a mess.

I was about to jump off a bridge

when I heard this voice,
shouting and screaming.

Hey, you. Stop!
Please, please, don't jump. Please.

Stay there, please.

Go away and leave me alone.

- Stay where you are.
- I'm not gonna...

Stay where you are

Why can't you just walk away?
Go on.

I'm Sophie.

- What's your name?
- My name's Marcus.

All right.

Please, Marcus.

What?

Don't jump.

Why not? What's it matter?

It matters to me.

And there she was,
this girl, this woman.

And she talked,
and talked, and talked.

And...

And I couldn't do it.
Not with her there.

She stopped. Saved me.

I got down eventually and we talked.

All night.

And we took it from there.

Christ.

- That's incredible.
- Isn't it?

Maybe I'd have just walked on
if he haven't been so...

- Desperate.
- Cute.

Yeah.

And that's propelled us
two years so far.

- Propelled?
- He believes in beginnings.

- What?
- What?

You sound like Thierry Grimandi.
I may have to rethink our friendship.

Grimandi? Do you know his work?

I wouldn't call it work.
The man's a lunatic.

Cracking on about
how beginnings determine everything.

- Especially in love.
- I know.

You know?
- Yeah. The man's a genius.

You know,
I used to watch his films in the '80s.

There's nobody writes about love
the way he does.

Nobody writes about love
the way he does.

- You think that?
- Yeah.

You think that? The man who can drink
two pints in under a minute,

- vomit and do it again?
- Are the two mutually exclusive?

- I've never heard you mention him.
- Well, I mean, it's a long time ago now.

- I've never even heard of this bloke.
- You're not missing anything.

- He's romantic.
- He's a prick.

He's sexy.

- He's got a beard.
- He's got balls.

What's that supposed to mean?

- Have you seen his films?
- I'm watching his master class.

Retrospective coming up.
They want me to interview him.

- Really?
- Oh, we should go, if he's a genius.

Yeah, you should. Especially if
you like meaningless close-ups,

cock about falling in love with hookers

who specialize in root canals
and happy endings

and any amount
of self-righteous horseshit. Thank you.

I don't think
he's really your kind of thing, Soph.

I won't worry
my pretty little head about it, then.

No, honey, I don't mean...
I just mean he's bit dated.

He's romantic.
What's wrong with romantic?

He might be a bit earnest.

Earnest? The man makes Camus
look like Benny Hill.

Well, I like him.
He believes in something.

I'm going to go and make some coffee.

Love is the only significant event
in a life of a human being.

He must achieve it at all costs.

The ones who do not cannot say
that they have lived.

We must do anything to find it.

That is my obsession.

It should be yours.

We must find love,

but if it is not there
in the beginning,

it is not there.

It must have a beginning.

It is a beginning that is played out
again and again and again,

so make it good.

For God's sake, Cheryl,
all I did was propose.

She's not a hooker.

Oh.

Six months later, they were married.

I must say that came as a bit of a shock,
you liking someone French.

Well, as I said, I was young.

I mean, if I saw one of his films now,
I'd probably think he was a fool.

- You said he was a genius.
- Yeah, I thought he was then.

You have to watch all his films?

Well, I guess
if I'm gonna interview him I ought to,

but I'm not sure I can be arsed.

I don't blame you. I wouldn't bother.

It's kids' stuff.

I don't think Cheryl and I
really had our big opening.

Sorry.

Not like you and Sophie.

Oh, that was just one of those things.

But you do love Sophie?

Jed, are you all right?

- Do you?
- Yeah, of course.

In the way Grimandi talks about it.
Do you feel sick if you can't be with her?

Do you hate any man
she takes a second look at?

Do you see her in extreme close-up?

Okay. As I said, I really wouldn't bother
that much about what Grimandi thinks.

No. I know, I know.

He gets inside your head.
He's like Europop.

- But do you?
- Jesus, man, who knows?

And do you think
you've ever been in love?

Once. Yeah. Definitely once.

When I was a kid.

About the same time
that I wanted to be in a band.

- What about you?
- Of course.

- I proposed to Cheryl.
- Jesus Christ.

- That's fantastic.
- Mm.

- She said no.
- That's even better.

- What?
- I'm sorry. That's... That's awful.

Why?

Well, to be frank, mate,

I think that...

I think maybe...

I mean, if I'm honest...

- Shall we just drink beer?
- Yeah.

- So you proposed.
- Yes.

- Why?
- Because I want to marry her.

- Who?
- Oh, for God's sake.

I want to marry you.

Why?

Look, I think the question is,
why did she say no?

- Who?
- Oh, for fuck's sake.

You. Why did you say no?

Because that's what
you wanted me to say.

Is it true, Jed?

Is what true?

The reason she said no.

Who said no?

- Gotcha.
- Oh, for God's sake.

- Did you want me to say no?
- That would be absurd.

It'd be you.

Have you ever considered children?

- No.
- Mm.

Interesting.

And this next question
is a very difficult one.

If it's algebra, forget it.

Very good.

Have you ever been in love?

- Of course.
- Of course.

How does it feel?

- Wonderful.
- Yeah.

Now, I'll ask you another question.

Have you ever been in love
with each other?

- I don't know.
- Of course.

That is very good.

Now, why don't you tell me
how you met?

There is nothing wrong
with our "how we met" story.

- Brighton Beach, me pissed on cider.
- Diamond White.

Yeah.
You tripping your tits off on acid.

- Wouldn't have had it any other way.
- Wouldn't have got it any other way.

It's just... Do you think
we ever truly fell in love?

I mean, did either of us
have that feeling in the stomach?

- That indecipherable ache?
- Ooh.

I'm serious, Jed.

We work, Cheryl.

- We what?
- Work.

Ten years we've had this.

I think we got together
because we're a bit alike.

What? Is that so bad?

- I don't know.
- Oh, can we just

maybe not think about this anymore?

Didn't we have a car?

Oh, Christ.

Science created us,

and science will kill us.

Christ was created without explanation,
and taken the same way.

Love is the same.

Love is everything.

I guess so.

- Thank you.
- Send my love to Prague.

Oh, I will, thank you.

Have a nice day.

Marcus?

- Hi.
- What are you doing here?

I just met someone.

- Oh, the girl at the counter?
- What?

She's young.
That's all it is. Get over it.

That's how they communicate.
Hardly know they're doing it.

- What?
- Doesn't fancy you.

Beautiful, young girls are sent here
to remind us of our mortality.

Remember
what you look like in your underpants.

Jed, stop talking. It was her.

- Who?
- Kate.

The one I mentioned the other day.
I was in love once when I was a kid.

- It's her.
- The kid?

Yeah.

She's not a kid now, obviously.

No, but you just met the girl
you were in love with in here?

- The kid?
- After 20 years.

- How old were you?
- Seventeen.

That wasn't love. That was
erectile tissue. Let's get a coffee.

She left me.
Her folks moved to the States.

She had to go with them,
I never saw her again.

I was two years in love, and then gone.

Now she's here?
- She moved back to London.

Divorced.

- Came here for the same reason as me.
- What reason?

We used to watch
Grimandi films together.

I came here to check out the film listings.
All that talk got me nostalgic.

- I'm sorry, have we met?
- I know it's weird,

but it must be fate.

Jesus Christ, man.

- But it's fine now, right?
- Yeah, of course.

Is what fine?

- Not gonna see her again, are you?
- Again.

No.

God.

No, I have Sophie now. That would be...

- No. Good, because Sophie's wonderful.
- Thank you.

- I was actually complementing her, but...
- I have to go.

I feel odd.

- You little shits!
- Loser!

I don't believe it.
Lunch at Harrington's.

- How did you manage this?
- I did a piece on the chef

and he offered me a table.
It's gonna be amazing.

- Thank you so much.
- Oh, well,

- it's from both of us so...
- Of course.

- Thank you, Cheryl.
- You're welcome.

Happy birthday, Sophie.

I thought
maybe you could educate Marcus.

To be more like you?

- Where is he, anyway?
- Actually, I have no idea.

Did Marcus happen to tell you
that Jed and I are in couple counseling?

I'm so sorry I'm late.

- Hi.
- Hello.

- Hi.
- Hey, mate.

- What happened?
- I got caught up at work.

And then I had to go
and get your present.

Oh.

Well, open it.

Ah...

Well, what do you think?

Oh.

What?

Oh, God.

No. Oh, God.

You thought... No.

No. It's just a present.

Well, it's beautiful.

Look at it.

It's really...

It's lovely.

Twat.

I think

you were relieved when I said no.

I think you thought
it meant you could leave me

and no one would question why.

After all, she said no.

Your conscience could be clear.
I think that was your thought.

We've been together for 10 years.
It was a natural progression.

Like I said to you, we work.

Yeah, like the vacuum cleaner
you bought me for my birthday.

- You said we needed one.
- What I needed

was lunch at Harrington's.

You don't like posh food.

You have no idea what I like.

Jed,

could you tell Cheryl
how do you feel now?

- Well, frustrated.
- Yes.

- But do you love her?
- Yeah, I love her to pieces.

- Who?
- Cheryl.

So tell her.

Cheryl, I love you to bits.

To bits?

- Yes, to bits.
- What is "to bits, to pieces"?

It's an expression.

An expression of truth?

No, it's an expression.

For goodness' sake,
you have them in French.

- We have them in French?
- Yeah, an expression, I...

I had to learn them at school.

Jed, could you tell her you love her
without your qualification?

Of course, don't be ridiculous.

So go on, then.

What?

Go on.

I love you.

Cheryl, do you love Jed?

Well?

Cheryl?

Are you telling me you don't love me?

I'm telling you I don't think I ever did.

This is very good progress.

Well done.

Both of you.

Getting in?

I think I'll walk.

Jed.

Jed, I'm sorry.

Me too.

- I feel terrible about saying what I said.
- You shouldn't. It's true.

Why don't we have a chat?

I mean, about all of it?

Yeah, we should probably do that.

Well, do you wanna get in?

I don't think so.

So how do you wanna do this?

I don't know.
We could wait for a red light.

Will you come
to my launch party tonight?

- Would you like me to?
- Yes, I would.

Then I will.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

I'll see you later, then.

We must do anything to find it.

That is my obsession.
It should be yours.

We must find love.

- Jed.
- What?

You scared me.
What are you doing here?

I need to talk to you.

- What?
- Love.

- I heard you.
- I understand it.

I need to tell somebody,
I need to tell you.

In case you've forgotten, we're men.

No, I saw Kate.

- Tell someone else.
- There's nobody else to tell.

- You're my best mate.
- Proper mates don't talk about love.

Proper mates can go for years
without talking

or even thinking
in each other's company.

This isn't mateship, this is...

That's why I was late for Sophie's birthday
last night: We'd been for a coffee.

How could you do that?

Because her number
was burning a hole in my pocket,

and her smile
was burning a hole in my heart.

Tell me that's not Spandau Ballet.

Well, I know... I mean...

You're not gonna think
much of me for this, Jed,

but this is it.

How do you know this thing is love?

The coffee.

The coffee?

It tasted different.

I mean, when I was with Kate, the coffee
tasted like it's never tasted before.

Maybe it was decaf.

- You don't get it, do you?
- Apparently not.

Everything was different, Jed.

Like the sky, the air,

the pavement

and the river's colors, Jed.

It's got hundreds of colors

I could feel and hear and smell.

It's like all my senses
were buzzing, you know?

I mean, London was alive.

I was alive.

And then we kissed.

I mean, Jesus Christ,
I didn't know what I was doing,

but she felt the same.

I mean,
I could feel that she felt the same.

I'm not exaggerating, Jed.

Everything went sepia.

The whole world. People.

Sepia.

My stomach was turning over
and over and over.

I mean, it was incredible.

It's that thing,

and I know what it is.

Weird-tasting coffee?

It's Kate.

It always was.

Well, what about Sophie?

- If Kate is love, what is Sophie?
- Um...

How's the coffee
when you're with Cheryl?

I don't drink coffee.

See? It's possible, Jed.

It's possible to feel like this.

And you have to find it, man.

So,

what are we gonna do?

I still find that so impressive.

This was a really good idea.

I feel more relaxed already.

- Thank God for pubs, eh?
- Yeah.

I can't believe you can do this
to Sophie.

I haven't done anything to her yet.

You kissed Kate.

It doesn't count.

Oh, right.
So if I kissed Sophie it wouldn't count.

No.

- Another one?
- Why not?

- Tom?
- Tom?

How exciting.

- Hey.
- Hey.

- Thank you so much.
- You're welcome.

- You're welcome. Great party.
- Thank you. Thank you.

- Excuse me, sorry.
- Yeah.

Cheryl, you have done us proud.

And may I say,
you're looking absolutely marvelous too.

Well, thank you.

Don't tell me you're here alone.

No, no.
Jed should be here somewhere.

I'm sorry about tonight.

It's fine.

- It was Marcus.
- Stop it.

No, seriously. He was in a state,
and I had to have a drink with him.

He's in love with a girl from school.

Poor Sophie.

So, what was your advice?

Well, I told him
he wasn't in love with Kate.

I told him he had a virus or something.

A virus?

Hm.

You really... You think he has a virus.

Don't you believe
that anyone can truly be in love?

Do you?

I thought you'd be angry about tonight.

Me too.

I'm not angry. Not anymore.

You not turning up tonight
doesn't make me angry.

You not being able
to tell me you love me

without saying "to bits"
doesn't make me angry.

That you put more thought
into a present for Sophie

than you ever have for me,
it doesn't make me angry, Jed.

The anger, the frustration,
at least they felt like something.

I thought that was love. Maybe it was.

I don't know, but...

But liking you,

understanding you,

feeling for you

feels like something else now.

It feels like pity.

You will know love when you feel it.

And when you do, I beg you,

if my films teach you anything,

it is that the beginning is everything.

Recognize it and take it.

- Jed Winter.
- Hey, you. It's Sophie.

Sophie.

Oh, I'm sorry, is this a bad time?

No, no, no. I was just... Sorry, no, no.

It's today.

The lunch you gave me.

Oh.

Marcus was supposed to come,
but something's come up at work.

A new account or something.

- Oh.
- Sorry?

Oh, a new account.
Well, I suppose that happens a lot.

Well, not a lot, but...
Oh, that's a shame.

Jed, I was wondering,

I wasn't sure
about asking you this, but...

Ask away.

Okay.

Well... Do you...?

You and me. Do you fancy...?

Fancy? I thought you'd never ask.

I try not to, with you being
Marcus's girlfriend,

but you shouldn't feel weird about asking,
because the answer's, "Yes, I do."

Sophie?

I was wondering
if you fancied joining me for lunch.

No, I know. I know that. I was joking.

Oh, God. Oh.

Oh, God, I'm sorry.

How ridiculous of me.

No, it's not ridiculous.

It's just me. I was just...
I was being an ass.

- I would love to have lunch with you.
- Great.

And you weren't being an ass.
I was being an ass.

Well, my ass is bigger.

Look, I'll see you in a bit.

Okay, okay. Bye.

Dick.

Dick.

Hey, you.

- Hi.
- Hi.

You look smart.

- Here in your suit.
- This old thing.

- Here we go.
- Thank you.

Oh, stop it.

Do you see?
But I'm just fed up with it.

It's meant to make your life so easy.

"Broadband makes your life so easy."
I mean, that's the campaign.

I spent the morning on the phone,

talking to a man who clearly thought
I had a degree in computer science,

and who, frankly,
I couldn't really understand.

I know, I felt bad pointing out
that I was struggling with his accent,

but after a couple of hours,
I got the hang of it,

and we had a lovely chat
about his family.

You got your broadband
sorted out, right?

No, but I've adopted an elephant
called Maude.

That's hilarious. That's what you
should be writing about in your novel.

- You think?
- Yes.

You're far more interesting than
those wankers you have to write about.

According to Cheryl,
I'm a failed novelist.

You're not a failed novelist.

You're a scared one.

Smoked fish and chips ice cream.

Hold it in your mouth for 10 seconds,

and enjoy the memories.

Oh, by the way, about earlier.

When I said that I...

About the fancying thing...

I clearly have no sense of humor.

- Oh, well, I clearly am not funny.
- We should do a double act.

Yeah. No jokes, no laughs,
just awkward misunderstandings.

- We'd be a sellout.
- It makes me laugh.

It's this Grimandi guy.

His relentless stream of shit
just permeates my mind.

Nice imagery.

Mm.

- I feel 16 again.
- Really?

Freshly cut grass.

Long summers.

- It really takes me back.
- Well, that's apparently what he does.

Taste is meant

to make you feel again.

It does.

He's a genius.

Mm.

It tastes like magic.

It's incredible.

Jed.

I feel like I'm at the seaside.

Just been for a swim in the sea. Mm.

Standing on the pier.

The sun shining on my face.

It's exactly how fish and chips
used to taste when you were a kid.

They just don't taste like this anymore.

Mm. No one would believe us
if we told them.

You're right.

He's a genius.

So tell me about this Grimandi's
philosophy of love.

Well, he thinks that the greater
the meeting, the falling,

the better chance a relationship has.

He believes in sparks.

Do you believe that?

I don't know what I believe.

Thank you.

Sweet beef with a roast potato
and leek custard,

served on a bed
of chocolate jelly and bacon.

Enjoy.

Okay, this is officially the best present
anyone has ever given me.

You're a very special man, Jed.

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

A whole baby pigeon
wrapped in marzipan

really should be disgusting.

It reminded me of
my first boyfriend.

Isn't the taste incredible?

Actually, it was the little
turned-up nose and the bony feet.

It's funny.

What is?

Nothing.

Nothing's funny.

Nothing's funny.

You don't smoke.

I know.

It's love.

I mean, it's really love.

- I think it is.
- Do you?

Such a fine line
between being in love

and being cared in the community.

So you think it is love?
I mean, I'm really in love.

- Oh, for God's sake.
- I need to know, mate.

I mean, it feels like it is
but how do I know?

Does she make you feel like you could
give up everything else in your life for her?

I think she does.

Would your life be intolerable
without her?

Yes.

Does she make you feel like you felt
when you were happy?

Even if happiness is a myth.

Yes. Yeah, she does.

Could you leave your partner for her,
regardless of the consequences?

I think I could.

Then, my friend,

you're in love.

Cheers.

I keep hitting the shift key,
and I just get this error thing. Listen.

What?

Do I...? Yes, of course I know
what a shift key is.

Okay, I'll try the other one.

Same thing, same thing.

Do I...? I'm sorry, I don't...

Look, is Ranjit Vinsaka there?
He understands me.

Oh, is he? Oh, dear.

No... Why do you need
my postal code now?

We're past that,
you've been helping me.

You don't need my post...
N-5-4-P-F.

N. No, N for Norwich.

Norman.

For naan.

Naan.

Five. Yeah.

Four.

Four. Four. No, just one four.

Forget it.

There's coffee in the pot.

You don't drink coffee.

Thought I'd give it a whirl.

No luck with the broadband?

No, it's not for me.

Good night?

Good.

Yours?

Good. Thanks.

Good.

Are you all right?

I'm fine.

- I'll take a shower, then.
- Yeah, I better get back to work.

He's having an affair.

Are you sure?

A woman knows.

Yeah, I suppose they do.

Has he said anything?

Of course not. Fucking coward.

Has he said anything to you?

No.

Oh, Jed.

I saved that bastard's sorry little life.

Yeah, you did.

Mind you, is that a reason
to be with someone?

I don't know why I called you.

Don't know what I wanted you to say.

This is pointless.

No.

Wait, I...

I need to find Marcus.

- She knows you're having an affair.
- I know.

- She wanted to know if I knew anything.
- Did you tell?

Of course not! I'm not gonna do
your dirty work for you.

I'm gonna tell her tonight.

- Tell her what?
- I'm leaving.

- What?
- I'm leaving. I just quit this nonsense too.

- What?
- Yeah, Kate and I are gonna live in Paris.

We're in love, Jed.

Do you understand?
Kate and I are in love.

- Paris?
- Didn't I mention Kate's French?

- French?
- Shh.

Are you just gonna
repeat everything that I say?

Look, this is madness.

I'm glad you're pleased for me.

This is real this time. No tricks.

- Tricks?
- See, you're doing it again. I gotta go.

How can you leave someone
who loves you?

Oh, it's easy.

She doesn't love me,
and I don't love her.

But she saved your life.

No, she didn't.

Sorry.

But love is never what it seems.

Maybe love is nothing more
than a confidence trick.

If we can deceive others,
we can deceive ourselves.

We can make ourselves believe
anything we want to believe.

We only know our own truth,
nobody else's,

but we must know our own.

We must know it.

You were right.

I proposed hoping you'd say no.

I'm not in love with you,

but I couldn't admit that to you,
to myself.

I needed you to leave me.

I'm a coward.

Sorry.

I think we met at a time

when we both needed something
in our lives.

I think that's what it was,
and I think that has nothing to do with love.

We were just kids.

Pissed, lonely kids.

- So the proposal was an endgame.
- Yeah.

Fascinating.

- I was right.
- Yeah.

And what made you realize this?

You said it yourself.

Working isn't enough.

Wonderful. This is wonderful.

Why don't you just shut up?

I'm sorry.

It may not feel like it now,
but this is a success story, Cheryl.

Success?

You came here to separate,
and now you achieve it.

Do you really believe that he...?

Do you think that...?

Because I... I want...

I want to feel something.

I haven't felt anything for...

Even when we met, we were numb
on drink and drugs and life,

and I thought being together
was enough.

You know, other people fall in love.

They talk about it all the time.

They write songs
about it, for chrissake.

I just...
I never really believed them.

It's all my bloody magazine talks about.

I think

I might want to fall in love.

I'm nearly 40 and I've never done it.

I want something to feel.

I want a story to tell.

I want my beginning.

No, she went fucking mental.

- She kept telling me what a twat I am.
- You are.

She knows it's not true.
She's just upset,

which is fine.
Whatever's best for her.

Plus grieving, I suppose.

Grieving. God, I hadn't thought
about the grieving.

I hope you can help Sophie
through this.

Me? Why?

Well, because you get each other.

You know, she's always going on
about you.

If I cared, I'd think she had a thing
about you.

Don't be ridiculous.

Look, me and Kate are leaving
on Friday.

We're on the first train out of here.

And just so you know,

I'm not proud of myself.

Sorry about you and Cheryl.

It's a fucking minefield.

See you, man.

I tell you,

love is, of course, a prominent subject
in my life.

- As well as sex.
- Love you, Thierry.

Get the number of this woman.

And if it was a man,
get him a good surgeon.

So Thierry, you've said before that love
can sometimes be a confidence trick.

Now, do you truly believe that,
or is it simply a motif in your films?

There is no such a thing
as a motif in a film.

Film is my life.

My life is film.

And in La Fin du Commencement,
was she really a prostitute?

Monsieur Jed,

she was no more a prostitute
than he thought she was.

He made it up.

He knew if he could pull off
a beginning like that

they'd have a real chance at love.

- So he never thought she was.
- Of course not.

He wanted a beginning.

That's not love, that's deception.

I like that.

How should it feel?

I mean, when you feel it,
when you know,

when you think,

when you find it,

how should it...?

For you, what are the signs?

The coffee.

The coffee?

The taste is different.

Love is tasting different.
Love is sepia.

Seeing a woman's lips,

her eyelashes, her fingernails,

her soul.

Love is sickness.

Longing. Illness.

Love is...

Love is close-ups.

Now, let me show the scene
from La Suicide Amour.

- You know it?
- I'm ashamed to say I haven't seen it yet.

It is a film about romantic deception,

where love and mendacity
collide in beauty.

In beauty.

WOMAN

WOMAN:

MAN

Thank you.

I'm so sorry.

I can't believe it.

I can't believe it.

Not only does he run off
with someone from maths class,

he pretended to fucking kill himself
so that he...

Jesus.

We don't actually know
that's what he did.

That's exactly what he did.

- Well, Sophie, I mean...
- Don't try and defend him, Jed.

What made you come today?

I wanted to make some sense
of what he and this Kate shared.

And you thought Grimandi
would have those answers.

Well, as it turns out, he did.

Evil little prick.

Did you love him?

What?

Marcus.

Did you love him?

Of course, I bloody love him to bits.
What kind of question is that?

What are you smiling at?

Nothing. Someone
asked me if I love Cheryl,

and I said, "Of course. To bits."

So?

But I didn't.

Nor she me.

He's left me.

You must have known.

- What?
- He must have told you.

- In the pub over a pint...
- No, no.

Men like him don't keep secrets
from other men.

If I've known he'd done
something like that...

What? If you had known, what?
You would've told me?

Well, yeah.

- Don't lie to me. Do not lie.
- Of course I'd have had told you.

You were laughing at me.

You and him and all his mates at work.

You were all having a good old laugh.

And what about this, this Kate?

Did you know about that?

Yes.

You did?

You knew?

I was going to tell you. I wanted to.

Jesus Christ, you as well.

Soph, I didn't know what to do.

You really were
both having a good laugh.

- How stupid am I?
- That's not how it happened.

- That's not what happened.
- Have a laugh now.

Go on. We could have a chat
about who else Marcus is shagging.

Will you stop this?

Yeah. We can have a good cackle
at good old Sophie.

How...? Would you like that?

Would you all bloody like that?

I love you.

- What?
- I...

I...

I... Christ, I'm sorry.

I think...

You lied to me,

and I think you should leave now.

Please, just leave me alone.

I need to talk to a woman.

You stupid, stupid,

stupid, stupid, stupid,
fucking stupid

fucking stupid fucking fuck!

Fuck. "I love you." You twat.

Hairy-assed fucking twat!

Ow! Fucking hell. Ow.

Love is everything.

The only reason...

I say to you once.

Look, love is the only significant event
in the life of a human being.

We must do anything.

That is my obsession.

Monsieur Jed, have you found love?

Hey!

That's my fucking bike!

Hey, come back!

Marcus!

What are you doing here?

- Jesus!
- How could you do that?

You just fucking hit me!

- You fucked her up. Fucked me up too.
- What the fuck are you talking about?

No wonder you were weird
about Grimandi. His lines.

- The coffee, sepia.
- What?

We saw the film, Marcus!
Soph and I, we saw Grimandi's film.

Okay.

I admit I got the idea from Grimandi,
but that was just how we met.

I loved Sophie.

At least...
At least I thought I did until Kate.

I lied to Sophie about the suicide.

I lied to you about not liking Grimandi,
but this is true with me and Kate.

- We're true.
- True, like a French film true.

No. Like the man says, true.

If you haven't experienced love,
then you haven't lived.

Whatever it takes, Jed.

Whatever it takes.

I should have come clean, though.

I wanted to.

I should have done my research.

- Well, you've always been lazy.
- I've always been honest.

No, you haven't.

Well, I am now.

I'll see you.

Christ.

- Soph, what... Why are you here?
- I needed to see Kate.

Why?

I'm a woman.

She's pretty.

You think?

I saw what you did.

Oh, God, did you?

I'm not much of a fighter, I'm afraid.

Did you hit him for me?

I'm so sorry about last night.

- Me too.
- Really?

You were just trying to be kind.

No, I wasn't.

I meant it, Soph. I...

Something happened for me.
Something started.

At that lunch, or at your birthday,

or God, when we first met,
I don't know when,

but it happened.

I'm sorry, Soph.

Look, Jed, I...

I'm gonna shut up.

In fact, I'm gonna leave.

Are you expecting a guest?

No. Thank you.

- Sophie.
- I'm glad.

For what?

That you don't know when it started.

When what started?

This.

When this started.

So you think it has?

I think

there are other meetings
other than suicides and prostitutes.

Less dramatic.

Like what?

Like this.

How about this?

My doorstep?

It might have to be dramatic enough.

You know what I like
best about France?

Surprise me.

Leaving it.

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