Frauds (1993) - full transcript

[music playing]

Happy birthday, son.

Yeah.

They were your fathers.

Hey, these aren't ordinary dice.

They're very special.

Watch.

Numbers 1, 2, or 3 means you
can sit there and keep sulking,

but numbers 4, 5, and 6 means you

have to forget about
all your circle friends

and make the most of the party.



Agreed?

Agreed?

Good.

Here we go.

It's settled.

You don't have any
say in the matter.

YOUNG ROLAND: 5.

You go first.

Get on the raft.

No.

I said get on the raft, Matthew.

[music playing]

Come on, Matthew boy, it's easy.

No.



Mom, help.

Mom.

Oh, boy.

Hang on.

Help.

Stay calm.

I'm nearly there, sweetheart.

Give me your hand.

- Help.
- Come on, Matthew.

Give me your hand.

Give me your hand, boy.

Got you.

Hold on.

Hold on, Matthew.

Hold on.

[screams]

Matthew.

[screams]

Hey, you guys, dinner's ready.

Hello?

What are they doing out there?

They're playing with
their toy soldiers.

Cute, huh?

They're a bit old for
soldiers, aren't they?

Well, I thought
dragging Jonathan down

the aisle might
knock it out of him.

It did for a while, but
recently, the best man's

had other ideas and I've
been happily married

to the two of them ever since.

JONATHAN WHEATS: Up here,
we have the outliers.

Down here we have the
bad guys, the French.

And when the sun goes
down, the bad guys

are going to sneak up
towards the big guys

and kick the living
daylights out of them.

French divisional assault
on the Pratzen Heights,

Austerlitz, December the 2nd 1805.

December 2nd 1805.

I can't believe you still
remember this garbage.

Well, I remember when
this garbage used to take

up most of our weekends.

The old times have changed.

Now I've got more important
things on my mind.

Like what?

Like Mary.

No.

Michelle?

Melissa?

Margaret?

You are turning into
one big walking whoreman.

You know I can have her
off the property by midnight.

You want to bet?

No, no.

I think you're taking on
a huge responsibility.

It's a specialized
job that requires

a very special person, Mary.

My name is Margaret.

Margaret.

Sorry.

What is he doing here?

Doesn't he ever give up?

He's just spinning the
bull around the park.

God.

He was on first base by the
appetizer and second base

by the time we got to the potatoes.

If he gets to dessert, he'll
think he's on a home run.

We'll see about that.

You haven't heard the worst of it.

What?

She didn't drive.

Oh god.

[laughs]

Michael, I still say
this is the dumbest game

you have ever come up with.

Beats bridge.

I've played this
naked with baby oil.

Really?

OK, OK, it's my go.

Left hand green, left
hand green, left hand green,

left hand green.

Left hand green.

Yes.

I'm going to go.

Jonathan.

[screams]

[laughs]

Thanks for a great evening.

- Wish we didn't have to go.
- Well then, don't.

Stay for another couple of drinks.

Oh, no, no, no.

It's almost midnight and
I've got a big day tomorrow.

Bye.

There you go.

Are you sure you don't mind
driving her home, Michael?

Not at all.

Oh, I almost forgot, if you
two aren't doing anything

on the 26th, I have two
tickets to "La boheme"

that I can't use.

"La boheme?"

Oh, you've got to be joking.

You shut up.

I won them at an agency raffle.

So how about it?

Thank you.

We'd love them.

Good.

Bye.

- What's "La boheme?"
- It's a musical.

[music playing]

Ah shit.

[phone ringing]

Hello?

Baby, it's only me.

Hi.

Listen, can you hold on?

I'll be right back.

I'm having a small problem.

[kids screaming]

OK, guys.

Cool it.

1, 2.

Hello?

Hello?

PA: Ladies and gentlemen, this
evening's performance of "La

boheme" is about to begin.

Would you please take your seats?

[thunder]

When it rains, it pours.

Right, Mrs. Waterson?

[screeching tires]

[thunder]

Damn.

Damn, damn.

Damn, damn.

[water leaking]

God damn you, Jonathan.

When are we going
to get a new roof?

Hi, it's Jonathan.

I'm at the opera house.

Where are you?

Oh, no.
No.

No.

[thunder]

Surprise.

[screams]

Jesus Beth, can't take a joke.

[phone ringing]

ROLAND COPPING: Yes?

Oh, fine.

Thank you very much.

Good bye.

JUDGE: There's no doubt
in my mind, Mrs. Wheats,

that you considered
your life to be at risk.

And in extreme conditions,
you acted with resourcefulness

and courage.

I only hope that the scars
that you and your husband

now possess will heal
as quickly as possible.

It is my opinion that the
deceased was a tragic victim

of his own misguided judge, and
it will be my recommendation

that no charges be laid
against Elizabeth Mary Wheats

by the Department of
Public Prosecutions.

And it is the finding
of this inquest

that death occurred by accident.

You may stand down.

[knock on door]

Jonathan.

Don't worry, I'll get it.

Yes?

Mrs. Wheats?

Yes.

Roland Copping, Carton Insurance.

Oh, yes, please.

Please come in.

My husbands' out back in the study.

Jonathan.

Sweetheart.

I'm busy, Beth.

BETH WHEATS: The
insurance man is here.

All right, I'm coming.

Therapy?

Well, I guess you
could call it that.

Do you mind if I, uh...

Hello.

Jonathan Wheats.

Roland Copping, Carton Insurance.

Oh, I'm sorry.

It's the painting.

It reminds me of my childhood.

Would you like to come into
the lounge room and we can...

Certainly.

Absolutely.

Ah, little soldiers.

You know, I never really had
much time for them myself.

They don't really do much, do they?

They just sort of stand there.

Can I get you a drink?

Beer, wine, whiskey?

Coke.

I think we can handle that.

Splendid.

Sounds new.

Yes, it is.

Well, I'll try not to take up too

much of your time, Mr. Wheats.

It's about your claims.

One for property
damage, one for theft.

Damage, one sofa, video recorder,

CD player, lampshades, carpets,
table, two broken cabinets.

Theft, one set of
solid silver cutlery.

The only thing stolen?

Yes.

What a shame.

They're really
fine-looking pieces, too.

Victorian?

They're Georgian.

They're our family heirloom.

Thief with taste, eh?

Well, that's a rare
thing these days.

So is this the room
where the guy, you know...

Yes.

Mr. Copping, the guy was a
really good friend of ours

so I'd prefer not to discuss
the subject in front of my wife.

It's been six months and
our lives are just starting

to get back to normal, so.

Understood.

Please.

Mum's the word.

Mum's the word.

Thank you.

Everything seems to be in order.

The police have got their
hands full, of course,

trying to trace the missing cutlery

and whoever was driving
the getaway car.

But to be quite honest,
I don't imagine there's

much chance of you seeing
either of them again,

which is a bit of a shame, really.

Would you like to
see anything else?

No, no, no.

I've taken up too much of
your time already, Mr. Wheats.

I'll just get straight home
and start processing the claim.

Which should take
how long, Mr. Copping?

Oh, if all goes well,
maybe two, three weeks.

So we'll be seeing you again?

Most definitely.

Well, would you like
my card, just in case?

No, that's OK.

I've got that.

Of course, if you've
got any other questions,

you can always call me
at home on this number.

Fine.

No problem.

Excellent.

Well, goodnight.

Oh, thanks for the Coke.

What are you doing?

Remembering.

Hi.

Sorry I'm late.

Beth?

Come into the dining room.

What?

Come over here and sit down.

What are you doing?

- Sit.
- What's going on?

Fun.

Remember when we used to have fun?

Oh really?

And I have an even bigger surprise.

Why do you want to do this?

Because Michael would have.

It's been seven months, Jonathan,

and it's time we let it go.

So let's do it with a bang.

Let's do something
he'd be proud of.

For one night in our lives,
let's think with out dicks.

[music playing]

[laughing]

[knock on door]

Shit.

Good evening, Jonathan.

Hello, Beth.

Sorry about the hour.

I hope I'm not
interrupting anything.

No, not at all.

I actually need
to run a few details

pass Beth, if that's all right.

At 10 o'clock at night?

No Mr. Copping, to be perfectly
honest, that's not all right.

Don't you think business
hours would be a better

time to discuss details?

I am interrupting
something, aren't I?

Um, well look, if you could just
spare me a couple of minutes,

I could get rid of these questions

and I'll probably be out
of your hair for good.

I don't think I have
anything to say that I

haven't said 100 times already.

If you have any
questions, I suggest

you read the police report.

I think I'll come back tomorrow.

That's a good idea.

Oh, for God's sake.

No.

Let's just get this over with.

Thank you.

Shouldn't be just a
couple of minutes.

Now about this accomplice,
when approximately

did you hear the
getaway car driving off?

I mean, what time?

I don't remember exactly.

It was the neighbor's
who reported that.

I was too busy trying
to get to the opera.

So we'll assume whoever
this accomplice was saw you

guys inside and waited around
in the hope that Michael would

get wise and come out,
heard the first scream

and then just took off.

No I recall it took off just
after I entered the front door.

I can't tell you the exact time.

You do remember now?

No, I don't remember.

So do you recall?

I don't know why you're...

Well, what do I take as
fact, Beth, recall or remember?

Did you identify a driver?

No, Mr. Copping, please.

Oh, I'm sorry.

It's an old habit I
picked up from my father.

He was a warrior.

These were his quintets.

It's very old.

You see how they shine?

It's always said that
in the right hands,

they would become
transparent, the numbers

would just melt together.

It can do wonderful things.

Mr. Copping, what
are you talking about?

My dice.

Well, they're very nice dice,
but I don't see what relevance

they have to your being here.

What relevance.

1 to 3 says we continue
our discussion now.

4 to 6 says I return tomorrow.

Very well, Mr. Wheats.

I shall return tomorrow.

I'll make sure I'm in.

Now just hold on a minute.

Goodness me, look at the time.

Doesn't it fly when
you're having fun?

Mr. Copping, if you
have any questions,

I'd suggest you ask them now.

What, have either of
you seen this fork before?

Yes, it's ours.

I mean, it looks like ours.

Where did you get this?

These things turn up.

Jonathan?

Well, I'll leave it
with you, shall I?

Till morning, when I
return for the search.

What?

Well, new evidence
requires a new search, Beth.

Boring, I know.

But it is standard company
policy, I can assure you.

Don't worry, I'll see myself out.

Good night.

Well, at least we know what
happened to Rosemary's baby.

What the hell is
going on around here?

The guy was here to assess
the damage to the table,

not to play Yahtzee on it.

Jesus Christ.

If you think I'm going
to let that nutcase

tear apart my house, then...

Sorry, Beth, but that eye was
going to bother me all night.

Good night, again.

Goddamn it.

Don't you dare walk out on this.

Jonathan, you get
your ass back in here.

1 elephant, 2 elephants,
3 goddamn elephants.

[chomping]

Do you mind?

I'm creating.

You know, we spent
all morning at school

today making these cities
out of egg cartons.

[choking noise]

I didn't know what to say then.

So I said, well,
maybe one or two trees

grow, and then Ed decided to tell

him the truth about Christmas.

[choking noises]

And that they couldn't
grow any trees because

of the yellow goop, anyway.

He said, well, what
happens at Christmas time.

This is why I was asking
him what the matter was.

And I saw in the corner
a little [inaudible]

Jonathan?

[screams]

Hi, there.

I'm sorry.

It's just that man
gives me the creeps.

[knock on door]

I'll get it.

Rise and shine.

Jonathan, top of
the morning to you.

You're early.

You're late.

Oh Christ.

Just let me have a shower and you

can unleash the sniffer dogs.

That won't be necessary.

I have decided to approve
your claim immediately.

That's great.

How come?

Simple, really.

Just me tracing the steps.

Michael Allen, he breaks
into his best friend's house,

and having just removed the
first [inaudible] goods,

he finds himself trapped inside
by the unexpected arrival

of the now missing [inaudible]
owner, Mrs. Beth Wheats.

Realizing that the game's up,
he decides on a bit of fun.

So wielding the old
Sunday roast karma,

he takes the joke a little
bit too far, as usual.

His reward, oh dear,
a six inch crossbow

bolt right through the heart.

And the mystery accomplice
does not speed off

into the night with the goods.

What are you talking about?

Well, the mystery
accomplice stands patiently

outside the opera house,
awaiting the arrival

of his faithful wife.

What?

What are you insinuating?

I'm not insinuating
anything, Johnny old boy.

I'm stating a fact.

Your husband, Mrs. Wheats,
is the mystery accomplice.

Get out.

Let's not get overexcited
here, Johnny boy.

Let's discuss this like gentlemen.

Get out.

Don't make things
any worse for yourself.

I dropped my...

Out.

You forgot this.

Well, goody.

I'll swap it.

The fork I gave you last
night was a very good copy.

This one, though, is for real.

You shouldn't have checked
your hiding spot, Jonathan.

What?

Jonathan?

[music playing]

What the hell is going on?

Talk to me.

Close the door.

Jonathan?

It's so simple.

You spend half your life
drowning in interest rates,

dishing out stupid premiums and
up to your hilt in mortgages.

Then one day you come home
after going out to dinner.

The house has been stripped, and
whamo, you can buy the new car.

It's simple.

Everybody does it.

Nothing could go wrong.

Except you coming home.

If it was all so goddamn simple,

why didn't you just tell me?

How many...

Look, I didn't have a choice.

He started putting
words in my mouth,

insurance claim, the
accomplice, the getaway car.

I mean, what... what getaway car?

I didn't know what to say so
I didn't say anything at all.

I understand why you
and Michael did it.

I understand why you played along.

But I don't understand
why you didn't tell me.

Well, what difference
does it make now?

Whether it's fraud or
perjury or manslaughter,

I'm going to go to jail.

Call him.

Let's hear what he has to say.

[music playing]

[dogs barking]

[dogs barking]

NEIGHBOR: Dang it.

[yelling]

Ronald Copping.

JONATHAN WHEATS [ON PHONE]:
Hello, it's Jonathan Wheats.

Yes, Jonathan.

I think we have to talk.

Would you like to come to my house?

Oh, I'd love to.

Shall we say 10:00 AM?

JONATHAN WHEATS [ON
PHONE]: That'll be fine.

Excellent.

Well, I'll see you then.

OK, Cesar, 1 to 3
says they'll play.

2, 3, 4, 5.

I think I'll have
another hotel on Mayfair,

and just a little bit of
cash for the [inaudible]

Come on, Beth.

Your go.

Your go, Beth.

5.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

Oh, dear.

Do not pass go.

Do not collect 200 pounds.

Go directly to jail.

What do you want?

[MUSIC PLAYING - "I'VE GOT YOU
UNDER MY SKIN"]

[SINGING] I've got
you under my skin.

I've got you deep
in the heart of me.

So deep in my heart.

You really bother me.

I've got you under my skin.

I tried so not to give in.

I said to myself, this
affair never will go so well.

But why should I try to resist
when, darling, I know so well,

I've got you under my skin.

See, I'd sacrifice anything,
come what might for the sake

of having you near,
in spite of a warning

voice that comes in
the night and repeats

and repeats in my ear.

Don't you know, little
fool, you never can win.

Use your mentality.

Wake up to reality.

But each time I do,
just the thought of you

makes me stop before
I begin because I've

got you under my skin.

You're not going to count it?

Oh, I don't think there's any need.

If you're short, I'll be
the first to let you know.

Look, I'm sorry about all
these mucky dealings, you know,

but in the great
card game of life...

Get out.

It has been a pleasure.

Hope to see you again soon.

Don't hold your breath.

[whistling]

3 to 5 says I leave them alone.

1, 2.

Welcome back, Beth.

Thanks, gang.

It's good to be back.

You have me walking my cat.

I'm looking very
tall there, aren't I?

That's great.

Jenny, is that me on a beach?

Did we collect
shells on that beach?

Yes.

Yup.
Well done.

That's a beautiful one.

And Ethan, where did you
have me go on my holiday?

Is that a ski resort?

No?

[whispering]

It's a car accident.

Well, you are far off.

Hey, you all right?

Jonathan?

I know.

I know.

Just hang on a minute.

I'm coming to get you.

I want to set, the whole set.

And this.

All right, that's enough.

First time was fair.

You've got your money.

This is straight blackmail.

I'm not going to stand for it.

I'm going to go to the police.

Oh, really?

Well, right here,
there's the telephone.

Go on, call the police.

Can I have my cutlery now, please?

No.

Give him the silverware, Jonathan.

No.

Give him the silverware.

Like hell I will.

All right, now Let's get
one thing quite clear.

You're not going to get
anything else out of me.

Well, it has been a pleasure
doing business with you

both again.

Oh, probably not a good time, Beth,

but I'd like to lend
you these to help

out with your paintings.

Get out.

[music playing - "de-lovely"]

[SINGING] The night is young.

The skies are clear.

And if you want to go walking,
dear, it's delightful.

It's delicious.

It's delovely.

He's not going to stop.

Oh, yes he is.

He's going to take
everything we own.

He wouldn't dare.

[SINGING] It's delicious.

It's delovely.

You can tell at a
glacne what a swell

night htis is for romance.

You can hear, hear
mother nature murmuring.

Excuse me, can I help you?

Oh, I am sorry.

I knocked earlier
and nobody answered.

Well, we were
probably in the shower.

Can I help you?

I'm from Copping Insurance.

Roland Copping sent me down to
do the valuation you requested?

Get away.

Get away from my car.

Get away from my car.

[SINGING] It's delovely.

You can tell at a glance what a
swell night it is for romance.

The car is next, fine.

I don't mine handing
over the lease.

While he's at it, he
might as well pick

up the mortgage on the house.

[yelling]

Why?

Why is he doing this to us?

[sobbing]

This has got to stop.

I can't take this anymore.

ROLAND COPPING: You know,
the most honest and unique

period of life is childhood.

I mean, the only way that child
is going to learn that jumping

off the monkey bar is going
to hurt him is by taking

the chance and jumping off the
monkey bar, which I suppose

makes children the
biggest gamblers of all.

Still, doesn't last forever.

Kids grow up, don't they?

What you want, Roland?

Whatever it is, just ask.

But please, leave my wife out.

I'll tell you what
we're going to do.

We're going to roll the dice.

Now, if it lands on a 1, 2, or 3,

you get to walk out
of here Scot-free.

And by that, I promise,
cross my heart, hope to die,

you'll never, ever
hear from me again.

But if it lands on a
4, 5, or 6, you get

to be my slave for one hour.

And by that, I mean
you have to do exactly

as I tell you for 60 minutes.

Fair?

Here, you roll.

You're out of your mind.

[phone ringing]

Hello?

Yes, is Mr. Wall
there, please?

No.

Is Mrs. Wall there?

No.

Are there any Walls there?

Hey, listen, you've
got a major wrong number.

This is a telephone box
in the middle of nowhere.

Oh.

So there aren't any walls there?

I'm afraid not.

Well, you'd better get
out quick because the roof's

falling down.

Na, na, na, na.

[inaudible] I fooled you.

[laughs]

Oh my god.

My god.

[non-english speech]

Oh, shit.

Jonathan?

Jonathan?

[phone ringing]

Hello?

Ah, Betty old girl.

What's cooking good looking?

What do you want?

Oh, lots of money would be nice.

Sorry, we're out.

Antique cutlery?

No.

Then I suppose dinner
is out of the question.

Listen, you asshole.

May I speak to Jonathan, please?

No.

You can speak to me.

What is it you want?

A car, Beth.

I'm sick of mine.

Which car, Roland?

Both of them.

OK.

Here's what we're going to do.

I'm going to pretend
I never got this call.

I'm going to hang up the phone.

I'm going to go back to work.

And I am going to attempt
to lead a normal life.

I'm calling your
bluff, Mr. Copping.

Somebody has to draw the
line around here somewhere,

and I guess it's going to
have to be me, because I'm

damned if I'm going
to sit back and let

you destroy my marriage.

Am I to understand that
this round is between you

and I, Beth?

[click]

It's a beautiful day.

SPEAKER [ON TAPE]:
I enjoy my work.

It's very challenging.

I enjoy my work.

It's very challenging.

SPEAKER [ON TAPE]: I
won't get angry today.

Let's not jump to any conclusions.

Mrs. Wheats.

Mrs. Wheats.

Excuse me.

Detective.

How are you today?

Not bad.

What can I do for you?

Is Mr. Wheats inside?

No.

No, he's not.

Oh, well, he said he
wanted us to meet him here.

Oh, really?
Why?

Your crossbow.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean
to startle you like this.

Oh, it's all right.

Mrs. Wheats, I don't quite
understand what's going on.

You see, your husband
phoned us this morning

and asked us to
bring this back here.

Well, I wish he called me.

It's all right.

Shall we move in there?

Thank you.

So how is your investigation going?

Nothing new, I'm frankly.

No leads at all, as
a matter of fact.

You see, stolen
goods of this nature

are always the most difficult kind.

And well, your things
being solid silver

and all, well, I wouldn't
take any bets on them

turning up in a pawn shop.

As sad as this must be to hear, I'm

afraid we're just
going to have to say

good bye to your silverware,
which is a great shame, I know.

It was a beautiful set.

Yes.

From what your husband tells
me, impossible to replace.

No.

I mean, yes.

I'm not sure...

[vomit noise]

Oh my god.

Oh my god.

I am so sorry.

Quick, into the kitchen.

I'll get some towels.

[laughs]

[inaudible]

[inaudible]

I am so sorry.

Don't worry about
it, Mrs. Wheats.

It's just that whenever
I think of the silverware,

I throw up.

I'll get some disinfectant.

[laughs]

[laughs]

Hi, Wendy, it's Beth Wheats.

Is Jonathan there?

What do you mean he
took the afternoon off?

[music playing]

[background laughter]

[background laughter]

[circus music playing]

[screams]

Oh, shit.

Oops.

[screams]

Have we had a visitor, Cesar?

[music playing]

[phone ringing]

Jonathan?

Deck the hall with bells
of holly, tra la la la la la.

Hello, Beth.

You pout your tree
out early this year?

At least you don't have to
eat with your fingers anymore.

What is the matter with you?

Are you completely insane?

What more do you want from us?

Oh, the holiday in Tahiti.

The house in the country.

But for the moment, I'd
be content with the BMW.

Where's Jonathan?

ROLAND COPPING:
Afternoon, [inaudible]

Beth.
Hi, honey.

I'm home.

Did you have a good day?

Oh yes, yes I did.

Two police turned up
with their crossbow,

and your silverware was hung
out to dry on a Christmas tree.

Jesus, what happened to you?

And why weren't you at the office?

Where the hell have you been?

I've been on a little field trip.

And if I do say so myself,
I think I've struck gold.

Everyone's got an
Achilles heel, and

Roland Copping's got a whopper.

Did you hear me?

Hello?

He sent the police
over this afternoon.

He set us up.

I almost got arrested, and
then I threw up on them.

Good girl.

I should have thought
about this earlier.

The first day he came in
here, he gave us his card,

which said please call home.

He doesn't have an office.

He only works from home.

It was like an invitation,
and it's there.

It's all there.

Where's the mobile phone?

Listen to you.

You sound like a madman.

What the hell is going on?

I don't have time to explain.

I'll tell you everything
when I'm set up.

Jonathan, tell me now.

I found a hole, Beth, a hole.

I went there today, to his house.

I followed him.

There might be a way out.

There's a chance that
we can turn the tables,

but we have to play
him at his own game.

That's it, isn't it?

Whether it's playing
with toy soldiers

or ripping off insurance companies,

it's all just a game.

But it's his game, and at
the moment, we're losing.

Get out of my way.

1 elephant, 2
elephants, 3 elephants, 4.

I've had enough.

I don't want to play anymore.

So what are the options?

We can go to the police and
maybe spend, what, the next 10

years in jail, or we can give him

everything and let him
suck us completely dry,

or we can fight.

We play or we pay.

And I can win.

Just 48 hours, that's all I need.

Just two days and this
whole thing will be over.

Two days, huh?

Two days to win this one
and it will all be over?

Oh, really?

And then what?

What happens next?

Another insurance claim?

Or is that too small now?

How about insider trading?

Does that sound attractive?

Where does it stop, Jonathan?

Please.

I can't do this on my own.

[beeping]

Hello, Roland.

Jonathan?

I've always had a soft spot
for German craftsmanship.

Fear not.

She'll have a good, safe home.

Oh, I took out a cover
note this morning,

just in case you decided
to cancel the insurance.

[music playing]

What the?

[screeching tires]

[laughs]

Last chance, Jonathan.

[phone ringing]

Roland Copping.

We have to talk.

Is that you, Beth?

Yes.

Fine.

Well, when would you
like to get together?

How about tonight?

Tonight?

Is that a problem?

No.

It's not a problem.

It's not a problem at all.

[orchestra music playing]

See you next
year, Mr. Copping.

I really am very pleased
you came to my party, Beth.

Is anybody else coming?

No.

I know you didn't know
it was my birthday,

so I don't expect a present.

But I would like to give you one.

If you really want
to give us a present,

stop what you're doing.

My life is falling apart.

My husband thinks it's all
some kind of weird game.

So here's the deal.

You can have the house.

You can have the car.

You can have everything.

I don't want it anymore.

And in return, you let us go.

I wish it were that simple, Beth.

But the choice isn't mine.

You know, choice is a wonderful
thing, but too much of it

can lead to hesitation,
and he who hesitates

loses his parking space.

So you have to find
that middle ground.

[inaudible] 6.

Oh, for God's sake, cut it out.

I can't.

Well, I can.

You can hurt me anymore, Roland.

You can't take anything
more away from me, because I

have nothing left to give you.

I don't care what number your
goddamn dice rolls because I

don't give a shit anymore.

Happy birthday, Roland.

And in a really
weird way, thank you.

Where are you going?

4 to 6 and I call Jonathan.

[phone ringing]

Beth, have you got them?

Yes, I have them.

Good girl.
Where are you?

I'm in a phone booth.

OK, now go.

Get out of there,
as quick as you can.

Right.

JONATHAN WHEATS [ON
PHONE]: Hey, love you.

Wait.

Give me back my dice.

[MUMBLED] Jonathan.

What's the matter?

[inaudible]

No, she's at her favorite uncle's.

Hello, John, John.

Roland, where's Beth?

Oh, I'm sure she'd
love to speak to you,

but she's a little bit
tied up at the moment.

As to her whereabouts, I think
you'll find her at my house.

And I'd get over here pretty
quickly, if I were you,

before she gets added to
one of my collections.

She's got nothing
to do with it, Roland.

Leave her out of it.

Oh, but she's been
stealing, Jonathan.

And all little girls who
steal deserve a good spanking.

I gather you're up to something.

Where, may I ask, are you?

Over here.

Good evening, Jonathan.

[alarm sounding]

Here, pass you a
piece of watermelon.

Another step closer and she
never rides a bike again.

Very, very clever, Johnny.

But you've really overstepped
your mark this time.

You wouldn't dare.

Oh, wouldn't I?

No doubt about it,
you're very good.

Probably the best yet.

But you've got to think ahead.

You've got to learn
three-dimensional thinking.

3, 3, 3.

[beeping]

3, 3, 3.

[beeping]

3.

That's right, your home number.

If I dial the last three,
the phone will ring, correct?

Yes.

Let's go for a walk.

I want to show you something.

No tricks.

You've got a gun.

Just come and take
a look at something.

Come on.

Indulge me.

OK.

But remember, the future halves
of your wife are at stake.

What are you up to?

A surprise.

You like surprises, don't you?

Very much.

You had me a little worried.

You worked a little quicker
than I had anticipated.

I might have had you over a barrel.

You shouldn't have
relied on your wife.

Women are inconsistent.

That's why I never married.

Do this, do that.

I just avoided the problem.

Surely you understand
that, Jonathan.

The perfect bachelor,
a life devoted to...

Matthew?

Matthew?

Oh my god, Matthew.

What have they done to you?

No worries, Matthew.

All I have to do is to
press the redial button,

the phone will ring, set off the
answering machine, and smash.

Matthew has to swim again.

I'm serious, Roland.

You bastard.

Flattery will get you nowhere.

Let's go upstairs.

Come on.

How could you?

He's a quadriplegic.

He can't even speak.

Oh really?

I thought he had a lot to say.

He told me all about your
father, the war hero, the man

who died in action,
or was it just the man

who didn't want to come home?

He told me all about his
present state of health.

Achieved whilst trying to
humor his brother with the roll

of a silly, little dice.

And the dice, given
as an afterthought

to a spoiled, unpopular,
little brat because nobody

turned up to his party.

So what happens now?

I'll tell you what
we're going to do.

We're going to roll for it.

Numbers 1, 3, and 5, Beth
and I walk away from here.

2, 4, and 6?

50/50 odds.

That's quite a gamble, Jonathan.

I'm prepared to take it.

You roll.

Bad luck, Roland.

You lose.

Like hell I did.

[music playing]

So long, Beth.

It's been a pleasure having you.

[laughs]

Surprise.

You vicious son of a bitch.

[beeping]

This is for me.

And this is for my brother.

[beeping]

[phone ringing]

[music playing]

What are you doing?

I'm calling the police.

No.

I am calling the police.

Help.

[laughs]

[sirens]

[laughs]

[music playing]