France Boutique (2003) - full transcript
Comedy about the daily operations of a TV shopping channel.
foodval.com - stop by if you're interested in the nutritional composition of food
---
Friends of France Boutique,
good evening.
We are going to show you
the fantastic results
of our Weight Loss Belt.
-Hi, everybody.
-So, France?
Today we have a product I love.
It's the Double Contract.
Why do I love it, Olivier?
I was just asking myself that.
It's so easy,
thanks to our DecoTube.
Yes. Our DecoTube.
It's like a pastry tube,
but transparent.
So how does it feel?
It massages and tingles.
But first, it massages.
But why does it tingle?
Some blouses are very delicate.
Take a good look
at the shoulder area.
As you can see, our inflatable
hanger completely fits
the shape of the blouse,
no matter how delicate it is.
So the vibrations are designed
to relax the back?
Yes, to relax it.
When you've spent the day
staring at a screen,
you need to relax,
and now there is a solution.
Staring at a screen all day.
Your poor back.
Friends of France Boutique,
hello.
-Hello, Sadjib.
-Hello.
During his conversation,
his muscles kept working.
He kept talking on the phone
and the electrical impulses
kept working.
-Professional and easy to use.
-True.
Careful!
You'll kill our chef!
-Happy birthday, Estelle.
-Thanks. Let me kiss you, Yvan.
The shoulders retain
their natural look.
Say good-bye
to nasty hanger marks.
For painful menstruation,
migraine...
For students who experience
pre-exam jitters.
Students, Sadjib.
-Shall we sum up?
-Yes.
Takes up very little space,
extremely practical...
-Won't ruin clothes...
-The price?
-Seven euros for five hangers.
-Only seven euros.
OK.
Since you gave a check
for the ring,
you won't be accused of theft.
Cartier dropped the charges.
Ask for a receipt.
For insurance purposes.
-Where do I sign?
-Here. Madam too.
Shouldn't I read it first?
Nordet.
Mrs. Maistral's things.
-Good-bye.
-Good-bye.
I need your signature.
Here, please.
-Can I have an autograph?
-Of course.
-Madam too?
-France, care to sign?
-For?
-My grandmother, Madeleine.
Honestly,
I think it's incredible.
Six years of therapy,
ten years without incidents.
-Until now?
-I told you...
We're in a tight spot
financially.
I wanted to see the ring
in natural light.
That's easy to understand.
I saw Martine outside,
so I ran to tell her to wait
for me, that's all.
Then two guys surrounded me.
I tried to explain why I ran...
-It wasn't Martine.
-No.
-Someone with the same coat.
-Yes.
Sure.
-Is it worth more than 10,000?
-Next time, find out.
Leave the manual in the closet.
-Right, Yvan?
-Exactly, Estelle.
Are you nuts or what?
I like your pecker.
I like it when you're hard.
Set it at the first speed,
an average speed.
Then, we can stop it...
If we want grated carrots
right away...
The kids are yelling, your
hubby's watching TV and it's...
-Set the speed to...
-Two.
Yes! Please don't stop. More!
Deeper. OK, that's good.
I'm gonna come. More...
Can I watch Tutti Chef?
-Can I, please?
-Yes.
When the unit starts to scale...
But rest assured, the Tutti Chef
won't make you scale the walls!
Olivier.
-Estelle dubs porn flicks.
-What?
I'm sure it's her.
Just focus on the voice.
Put it back on. You'll see.
That's not her voice,
but I swear it was her.
You have a hard-on?
It takes you forever
to remove your makeup.
Why would Estelle do that?
She makes a good living,
doesn't she?
Maybe she likes it.
Maybe it excites her.
What's so exciting about moaning
into a mike in a studio?
Inspired by Empress Josephine.
Right!
Twelve precious stones
per earring.
Why 12?
It's too long.
Who cares about the 13 moons?
I prefer the pink nightgown.
It's see-through and the
cleaning lady's coming at 8 a.m.
You don't sleep with her!
You sleep with me.
Until tomorrow, anyway.
-Trying to provoke me?
-Nobody's provoking you.
Sexy.
-You should wear a corset.
-Yes, of course.
At the office too.
Worn like this,
the tunic is very elegant,
but I can also
keep it unbuttoned...
-What?
-Look. You're too passive.
You can be so dowdy.
You have to make some changes.
"Dowdy"? Why "dowdy"? It's...
No.
I've decided to wear it
with a smock top.
It's casual.
I like wearing it like this.
It's comfortable.
"Dowdy"!
This elastic waistband provides
plenty of comfort.
Hi, girls. I'm late.
They're in the conference room.
-Mornin'.
-You're late.
-Sorry.
-Put it everywhere!
-Lots of traffic in Montreuil.
-I'll apply it to the skin.
-Yes, directly to the skin.
-It's better.
-Concentrate.
-Yes.
To do this,
I need 10 seconds of silence.
-She's a blonde?
-Yes. Since yesterday.
We don't know why.
She won't discuss it.
Yes, it's...
-What?
-I feel something...
The AntiFear Fluid.
Does it zap flies?
-What, then?
-Well...
It's kind of arousing, actually.
The solar plexus
is totally relaxed.
The inner tension points
are loosening up.
I feel very light, and yet...
What?
Yeah, it loosens you up.
-Interesting.
-Does it diminish anguish?
-The feeling of fear?
-Yeah.
It's setting your hair on fire.
-Help me! I can't see anything.
-Estelle. I was wrong.
-Not true.
-OK.
I understand.
It doesn't diminish fear.
It's not your hair!
Maybe it alleviates
minor fears.
What do you say, Marine?
Anyway,
I'm not afraid of anything.
We can't sell that.
It's a snake-oil remedy.
We can and we must.
We have access
to Sofia Deverson Webpage,
and we sell her wares
on a specialty channel.
Don't we already hawk
their kettles.
-We won't make a mint.
-Depends on the demo.
Hot, curvy, submissive, sexy:
Nice Dream,
your perfect nighttime friend.
Remind me to ask you something.
OK.
Frédéric,
how do they advertise it?
I haven't had time to check.
Moreau is sick.
A virus has infected
our statistics files.
His replacement must be here.
You have a conference call
in two minutes. Yvan?
Can you set up the screen?
-What'd you wanna ask me?
-Later.
We won't turn her down,
but we won't sell a product
we don't believe in.
We need to conduct more tests.
Let's talk to Monique.
I trust her judgment.
Let's stall.
Why? I'll tell her
we're not interested.
The partnership has strengthened
the company, so please...
You can't replace one fear
with another.
Squeeze in.
Hi.
Hi, Sofia.
-Do I know everyone?
-Yes.
Frédéric, our financial
director, just left.
Yvan, Estelle,
and France, of course.
Hi, everyone.
Hi.
I see a brunette.
-Behind you?
-Marine.
Hi, I'm Marine.
I'm replacing the decorator.
-She's on maternity leave.
-Fine.
Make suggestions. Be creative.
Are the shoots going well?
Will direct marketing
boost sales?
We haven't finished choosing
the products, but...
-I can't hear you.
-Sorry. We haven't finished
choosing the products,
but it's going well.
What about the AntiFear Fluid?
Sales are booming in the States.
Great.
But we have yet
to conclude our testing.
-But it looks good.
-Tell her what you think!
This kind of product relies on
the customer's gullibility.
-We have strict guidelines.
-I know you're demanding.
France Boutique has a reputation
for quality and honesty.
But don't ignore
a leader product
your competitor will sell.
I fought hard to obtain it.
TeleShopping is interested.
Don't be like the Amish.
OK?
Got any other products
worth mentioning?
I watched
the Femme Femme ad again.
It's... I mean...
Are sales in a slump?
We'll make changes
during the shoots.
Yes. I could
showcase it differently.
Like this, but with a belt.
That'd be good, no?
She makes everything sexy.
-Thanks
-I like your new look.
-It's more modern.
-Yes. Thanks.
You also need to draw up
a statistical profile
for the last three years.
We have lots to do.
Anything else?
Yes. I have someone for you.
Walter Borman, a young and
efficient assistant of mine.
He'll be there on Monday.
Will he be selling products
on the set?
He'll do whatever
you want him to do.
You're so naive!
She's sending him here
to spy on us!
No way he'll attend
the demo meetings.
You're so nervous!
You were with me when we signed.
Sales on their site
put us in the black.
So now we're partners. Partners.
We're better than them.
Our products...
That's not the point.
Think. It'll relax you.
Yes, and if I may say so,
you're too hyper.
I don't blame Sofia.
She's trying to change us.
She wants us to evolve.
It gives us more freedom
to express our personality,
that's good.
Know what I mean?
What exactly
is your personality?
I dunno.
I keep evolving, no?
I feel like a machine.
Actually, no.
-A robot, rather.
-You lack self-confidence.
Olivier!
See the girl in red?
Remind you of Anna Karina?
No?
-Don't you think?
-Yes. Excuse me.
Are you OK?
In modern buildings,
electronic gizmos open doors.
-Here, I have to push doors.
-I'll get you some water.
I don't mind being a robot
for the things I like.
-See the difference?
-No.
You have to alternate, OK?
Do your job, be yourself,
do your job...
-Am I being clear?
-Honestly? No.
This place is a springboard.
You jump higher and higher
to see farther ahead.
What did you want to ask me?
Later.
I'm not being uncooperative.
I'm the younger sister
of her grandmother.
I'm her grandaunt.
But nobody cares.
-Say it's Nicole.
-That's not the point.
She's not in her office
and her secretary's busy!
I'll find France.
I can't let you through
without permission!
I won't give you
the whole rundown,
but if you have a job,
it's thanks to me in part.
So open up or I'll hop over it.
I'm warning you,
I'm very supple.
Christ!
I blame Moreau.
He's a shady little fag.
Hold on.
I'm homosexual too.
If that's a problem,
look for a replacement.
I didn't mean anything by it.
It's not 'cause he's gay.
He's shady.
I see. They'll try
to retrieve the file,
but it could take a while.
But for the Cleopatra glue,
I have the stats
for the last four years.
Olivier, Pascal.
He'll be replacing Moreau.
Do we have the results
for the nighttime Josephine ad?
I have to watch
the tureen demo again,
-on M6. It's very interesting.
-63 before 6 a.m.
That's not so bad.
France always questions me.
The stats, please. It's urgent.
We can't do anything now.
The system crashed.
All these glass doors
that don't open...
It's not modern.
I can't find France.
I have to see you briefly.
-Nicole, now's not the time.
-2,000 F and I'm gone.
"Crashed"? Since when?
The virus deleted
the entire file.
Maybe there's a backup
on the hard drive.
Damn! Sofia requested it again.
She's always implying
we're behind the times.
Like for the doors.
I lost money at the casino.
I'm going through a rough time.
Talk to Sofia
about the Cleopatra glue.
-We have everything.
-Great. Very good product.
Sales have risen 32%
since the last quarter.
-Really?
-Yes.
Sales have risen steadily.
-But always more during winter.
-How do you know?
I'm a shareholder,
so I look at the numbers.
Food for thought.
Can you tell me how many
glue units we sold in 2001?
-Can I have my check?
-We'll see.
56,678.
Yes.
First, the carrots,
then the endives, and finally
the hard-boiled eggs.
Be careful, mayonnaise
isn't always photogenic.
Squeeze in a little bit.
A medium close shot.
Get a close-up of the carrots.
Marcus.
We need to rejuvenate
Femme Femme.
-See?
-Won't be easy. It's matronly.
OK, it's matronly.
But we're targeting matrons.
We have to appeal to them.
-Yes.
-OK.
Listen.
Friends of France Boutique,
hello.
Yes. Our Femme Femme
is elegant, laid-back
and wrinkle-free, like you'll
feel when you wear it.
It's supple and soft, and you
wear it on your bare skin,
like a caress, and the gold
buttons, three on the wrists,
two on the neckline,
make you sophisticated.
I unbutton the top one.
A low neckline
is always pleasing.
So, its strong suits...
What do you think?
You're excellent,
but the product didn't change.
To update it,
have a 23-year-old wear it.
I can sell it better
than any young woman ever would.
As you wish.
What is she doing?
She's rehearsing.
We'll tape the Easy Compactor.
OK. I know you're busy.
Wait. Sigh more subtly.
She'll solve the problem
thanks to the Easy Compactor.
Is that how you see us?
I've been doing this
for so long that...
Before I came here, I'd never
seen a teleshopping ad.
-Actually, I'm a painter.
-Really?
That's marvelous.
I really love painting.
I used to visit galleries
when I was at the Sorbonne,
but I don't have time now.
-Where do you exhibit?
-At home for now.
Maybe at some point?
How did an arts student
end up doing teleshopping ads?
I met France 10 years ago.
She wanted to start
"France Boutique."
I had a knack for writing...
For describing.
We started with nothing,
but it took off.
We can make lots of money.
I like money.
There. Almost done.
I like the angel
in the child's bedroom.
I'm not an expert, though.
No kids?
We don't have time.
France Maistral?
What are you doing here?
-Flowers go to Reception.
-These are for France Maistral.
-Who sent me those?
-Here's the card.
Well, I'll be...
Take back the bouquet and tell
Walter Borman I don't want them.
-I'd have to go back to Issy.
-I don't care.
From me.
Thank you.
God! Another chocolate bar ad.
Those guys look retarded!.
I watched the tureen demo on M6.
It features some kind
of virtual host.
No, not again.
We don't want that.
Why not?
We'll talk about it later, OK?
-Won't you eat with us?
-No, thanks.
I have to test the Depilator.
He's a pain
with his virtual host idea.
So did you test it?
What do you think?
A hot chocolate and a straw.
-In 2000 or 2001?
-I'm thirsty.
-Is everything OK?
-Yes. But it's time to fuel up.
So... Easy to hold,
won't slip,
the blue light is reassuring,
gives the user the impression
something's happening,
but after 30 minutes,
nothing has happened.
-I knew it.
-Wait.
I don't easily get scared.
Ask another colleague.
The one who keeps gaining
and losing weight.
Agnès.
Agnès is more likely to use
something like this.
How are things
between you and France?
Fine. Preparing for the shoots.
A little nervous.
We have good products,
but we're missing one,
a big one, for teleshopping,
but that one...
I could promote
the Vertical Grill.
I've made more brochettes.
Succulent. And not fatty.
Wanna come over to taste them?
Sweetie.
No, but thanks.
-Where do I put it?
-Over there. Coming.
But we could use
your testimonial.
Excuse me.
Who gave you a rose?
A pleasant young man.
You don't know him.
You smeared some mascara.
Movies are only skin deep!
This isn't the time,
but I'd rather be elsewhere.
When's the last time
we had fun in the sun?
Since we tried to start
France Boutique Morocco.
You're right!
I'd forgotten about that.
The oyster...
No, the wrong length for winter.
...for which women...
Simple jewelry for which...
The waist remains small.
His manager is nowhere
to be found.
Antoine Chardin is very upset
and won't give interviews.
He made his TV debut on France 3
in '89. His popularity...
-Is he dead?
-Who?
-Chardin. Is he dead?
-No. He's been indicted.
Really?
Do I have a small waistline?
Now I'm hungry.
-Let's have a bite together.
-No. I'll have nonfat yogurt.
You carry
five extra pounds well.
Really?
I thought you only liked
brunettes.
Thin, tall brunettes.
-What is it you want?
-I dunno.
Kiss me.
Yes, Sofia.
No, not at all.
In English?
Yes, it'd be great
for teleshopping.
Not before January?
So we'll test them...
It works well
even on very dirty windows.
Just wipe,
and the window's clean.
It's a very good product.
Later, as a "bonus tip,"
we could say it cleans the skin.
-Isn't it too hot?
-No. I did it. It works.
It's really good for the pores.
OK, fine.
So Estelle would sell it
as a type of...
...facial sauna?
-No problem.
-I'll redo the Femme Femme.
I'll do it with you.
I have some ideas.
-Are you sure?
-Yes. You'll see.
-Want me to try?
-No, thanks. We'll be OK.
Now on to the Hairminator.
We need to find a new angle.
France? France!
-Are you listening?
-Yes. Sorry.
Yes, so...
The Depilator poses
a product placement problem.
It's a wax.
A light wax, but a wax.
There's nothing new
under the sun.
The product's strong suit
is it's small size.
And it can be battery-operated.
But if we want
to keep promoting it,
-we have to think of an idea.
-OK. An "idea."
-Let's brainstorm.
-I would've tested it.
But I've used it so much
I have no hairs left.
I do.
Swimmers and cyclists do it
all the time, so why can't I?
-I can try.
-Really? OK, go ahead.
Concentrate.
Yvan, are you sure?
The underarm area?
Extremely painful.
I know.
Especially for very long hair.
It's warm, but it doesn't burn.
What else?
It isn't unpleasant.
-Go on.
-Thanks.
-It isn't really painful.
-No.
It's effective, that's for sure.
"Effective."
We need to find better,
because "effective"...
So...
Effective, no pain, no hair.
Let's do a "before and after."
Too old-fashioned.
We could say it's simple to use.
Yes. Simple to use
and effective.
-Simple to use.
-What else?
I have an idea.
I'll discuss it with Marcus
after the casting.
Sure, if you like...
We need a new product!
New stuff, Christ!
-You wanted to see me?
-Yes, Marine. Come in.
Olivier, did this just come in?
Yes. A hair-cutting vacuum.
Not bad, but not easy to use.
I'd like to try it.
Marine, find me an idea
for this.
This is a thawing board.
You OK?
Yes, I'm very well now. Thanks.
According to Nicole, the
espresso machine isn't too bad.
But we're elitist.
We reach upper-end households.
We're better at night.
No kidding.
Coffee, insomniacs: old hat.
-Is Robert back from Taiwan?
-No news.
And Mrs. Pontet wants 3%
on the no-stain paint.
Or she'll go
to our competitors.
That bitch!
Is this war or what?
I agree with you:
"It's war."
Hello. I'm here to see
France and Olivier Maistral.
Walter Borman.
Didn't Sofia mention me?
Yes, but we were expecting you
on Monday.
I couldn't wait to start working
and to get to know you,
to get into the swing of things.
Could I have a quick tour?
Yes, but quickly,
because I have plenty to do.
Hi. My name's Norma.
This is our aftersales
and complaints department.
But we can handle 10 times more
calls for incoming orders.
Accounting. Follow me?
I do this for 10 minutes daily.
It's good for your posture.
Nicole, an original shareholder,
is a relative of France.
-Walter'll be working with us.
-Great.
-What exactly do you do?
-A bit of everything.
But I do very specialized work.
This is Walter, from Deverson.
Hello. Happy to meet you.
I didn't see the AntiFear Fluid
on your site.
-We didn't include it.
-Why not?
We're waiting for you
to promote it.
It's not that easy.
Dressing rooms, hair and makeup.
Estelle, this is Walter Borman,
Sofia's friend.
Coming?
This is where France
does casting.
They're all our customers,
but some give better
testimonials than others.
You see? We're testing.
On the solar plexus, stomach...
Everywhere.
France. Sorry to disturb you.
I want you to meet
Walter Borman, Sofia's friend.
Good to see you again.
Oh, yes. Hi.
Excuse me.
I'll join you later.
-Everything OK?
-Yes.
Wow.
It changes color.
France Boutique, hello.
Smoking's not allowed
on the set.
Finally, there you are.
The place looks very nice.
But you could be
more productive.
Please put out your cigarette.
Your little joke the other day
was quite amusing.
It allowed me
to gauge reactions.
Getting angry is always
a sign of weakness.
Or unbridled determination.
I'm sure you understand.
Why do you treat me this way?
I'm a fan.
I've always watched you on TV.
-Since...
-You were little?
Since I started dreaming
about girls.
Robert's here.
He's waiting downstairs.
Great! Can you find
this gentleman a desk?
Of course.
Do you prefer
a warm environment or...
Marine, did you get hurt?
You OK?
Yes, I'm OK.
I'm sorry.
Estelle and Yvan's office?
-Farther along, on the right.
-Thanks.
I feel comfortable.
At once laid-back and elegant.
Shall we recap
the product's strong suits?
Cédric! Come here!
Cédric, fetch me
Femme Femme's program log.
I can't find her.
So?
Let's think about her,
so she'll show up.
Feeling better?
Why'd you miss the shoot?
Why doesn't that seem
to bother you?
Huh?
-I fell asleep.
-Are you kidding me?
How could you forget?
You insisted on doing
the ad yourself.
-I fell asleep.
-You fell asleep?
Yes. Sorry.
But how,
knowing that guy's around,
knowing he's looking for proof
that we're obsolete?
I think I was tired. There.
"Tired"? On the day we're
reworking the Femme Femme?
Walter suggested
I should replace you.
What could I tell him?
He's here to sow dissension,
and he's doing a good job.
You're totally irresponsible,
so he humiliated me.
Because you're scared
we'll become obsolete.
That predator senses it.
You were sleeping,
but I'm the problem.
-That's not what I meant.
-I'm tired. I didn't sleep.
We'll talk about this tomorrow.
I'll call Marcus.
We'll redo it first thing.
Never mind, I'll do it
with Eliette and Jasmine.
As you wish.
No, not as you wish!
We'll discuss this tomorrow,
because you don't decide alone!
Good night.
Would you bring me
some champagne?
You're a modern woman,
you're very active,
and the presence of unsightly
hairs is ruining your life.
Our Hairminator
is perfect for you.
Its design
and battery operation option,
mean you can carry it
with you anywhere.
In minutes,
the wax in the applicator
is ready to be used.
Even at a friend's place,
the thin wax is easy to apply
and dries quickly,
providing you with
the maximum freedom you need.
It's a very rich
and beautiful performance...
Our Hairminator
comes with 100 strips
specially designed to provide
fast and easy hair removal.
Hello.
A simple movement,
a burst of laughter,
and the strip is gone
before you know it.
Painlessly.
With total effectiveness.
Thanks to the Hairminator,
unwanted hair removal
is discreet and user-friendly.
You can also lend it
to your friends,
since the wax is used only once.
The Hairminator: discretion
and softness guaranteed.
Afterwards,
we'll add a shot of France
crossing her legs and smiling.
Cut! Then back to you
If we believe in it, it'll work.
Removing unwanted hair at a
friends'? You're a trollop!
It was France's idea.
But it's very American,
which isn't our style.
Exactly. It's a major change,
so it's very radical.
Isn't it a bit sick?
Hair removal in public!
I don't know...
What a trollopy thing to do!
Trollopy!
Yes, it's strange.
Is it plausible?
-Sorry. Estelle?
-I have to run.
What exactly is a "trollop"?
A trollop? I dunno.
How can I put it...
I dunno.
It's something you feel.
When you dub pornos,
don't you feel like a trollop?
-What?
-When you yell,
"Shove it in deeper,"
don't you feel like a trollop?
Is that what you wanted
to talk to me about?
You don't get it...
I wasn't in front of a mike.
I was in the movie.
Didn't you recognize me?
I was wearing a wig and a mask.
And riding winkies.
Did you like it?
Did you touch yourself?
Don't be vulgar.
This is ridiculous.
What? I'm vulgar? And you?
Isn't it vulgar for you
to ask me that?
You wanted to trap me,
but I'm not ashamed I did it.
I did it for pleasure.
I assume full responsibility.
Unlike my sister,
who's a prude like you.
Let's stop now.
I'm sorry, OK?
Look at the way
you're talking to me!
Go take a cold shower,
it'll do you good.
There are two kinds of people:
those who try to shaft others
and those who get shafted.
Piss off.
Can I talk to you?
Wait a minute.
I'll be right out.
No, I gotta say this now.
I love you.
I don't know if I love you,
but I'm in love with you.
I feel affection for France,
but I can't live a lie.
This love consumes me.
I don't know how to stop it.
I need you to help me.
If you spent one night with me,
just one,
I'd calm down.
Monique, you don't know
what you're saying.
You always miss
what you don't have.
That's all.
One night! Olivier.
Just one. Whenever you like.
No. 5.
-Champs Élysées?
-Great.
Shit.
-You look very happy.
-I'm having a blast.
Have a drink and tell me more.
Their relationship is strained.
They're a little rough with me,
but there are weak links
among the staff.
I'll be able to put
pressure on them.
Fine. Is Desforêt ready?
Is everything in place?
We have to be savvy
when we sign, that's all.
Marketing in France
must be their
exclusive responsibility.
That's in the contract, no?
Aren't they suspicious?
A little. Especially the Fluid.
They know it's iffy,
so they have mixed feelings
towards their clientele.
But we're in luck.
They really need the dough.
They have a lot of worries.
Later, to speed things up,
we'll repeat the Chardin scheme:
consumer complaints,
some bad press, and
they'll be banned from the air.
We'll snitch their TV show.
An open shirt is an obvious sign
of smugness, so be careful.
Wouldn't it be better if Olivier
presented the products?
Yes.
We'll try to convince him.
I could repaint the ceiling
while she's sleeping.
Thanks, Jean.
Now, we'll present to you
our line of knives,
Master Chu,
with their titanium blades.
So, France, what can we tell
our friends of France Boutique?
Well, dear friends,
you've had the occasion
to admire the skills
of our chef,
thanks to the Master Chu knives,
but if you like,
let's go further.
Neither you or I are chefs,
so what can we do,
or rather, what can we do
with our line of knives?
Absolutely everything.
This little one, for example...
I love grapefruit
in the morning,
and this sharp little knife
allows me to cut them in a snap.
But I could take
this little knife
and plunge it into my lover's
heart if he isn't nice to me.
That's one possible use.
This one... Do you know
what the yakuza do, Olivier?
No? You don't know them?
The yakuza
are Japanese gangsters,
who, to pay their
debts of honor,
give their debtors
a little finger.
This knife can instantly
cut off a little finger,
probably without causing pain.
Put your hand on the table.
I'd love to cut one off.
But my honor is intact, France.
-Right!
-Intact.
In short, our Master Chu line
of knives can cut everything.
Even conversation.
It's a true helper
in your kitchen.
Now let's recap
the product's strong suits:
One: The knives have
titanium blades.
Two: The knives are
machine-washable. Three...
It's a must for you kitchen.
Cut.
-Get lost.
-Finished?
-One more time.
-Piss off.
-Maybe she's tired.
-She's tiresome!
OK, relax.
-What's your problem?
-I don't have a problem.
We can improvise, spice it up.
It's too drab.
Spice it up? You?
You're so stiff!
-You're as weak as water.
-You'll sink the company.
It's mine as much as yours.
That's all we have in common.
So you wanna blow it up?
You're worrying about it now?
Remember that you started this.
Can I help you?
I can't find my keys.
They're probably
in Olivier's pocket.
Yes. Surely
"in Olivier's pocket."
Wait. Maybe it's urgent.
I gotta get that.
Are you OK?
It feels strange
to hear your voice.
How long have you been in Paris?
For long?
Of course we can
see each other... Wait...
Is after tomorrow OK? Yeah?
I'll consult my Palm,
and if there's a problem,
I'll call you back.
When'd you get back?
A month ago?
So how are you?
Me? No, I'm OK.
Aren't you working now?
Yes. Absolutely.
No. Just for one night.
One room for one night.
For Mrs. Delay.
Absolutely.
See you soon. Thanks.
What's the address?
57 Kléber Avenue, please.
Evening.
I didn't call.
I wanted to...
To see my paintings.
It's a good thing you came.
I'm very glad.
Me too.
Would you like
something to drink?
No. Not right away.
I can't wait to see your works.
Really?
Not everything's here.
Some of it is at my parents'.
Here we go. A recent painting.
It's not like you...
But it's...
I don't know.
My father.
He's a...
-Dentist.
-"Dentist"?
It conveys torment, but...
It's very powerful.
I'm experimenting with texture.
The power of texture on canvas.
The work and the medium are one.
I mean, I think...
-I'm experimenting.
-I understand.
-Really?
-Yes.
-You're not just saying that?
-No.
Then I'll show you
what I've been working on.
This is the texture
I mentioned.
-How do you do that?
-I start with a portrait.
My first lover.
I always add a thick coat
of red on the face,
some black for the hair,
gray for the beard...
Then... I reach for the acid.
I sprinkle it.
The paint melts,
the canvas catches fire.
There's plenty of smoke,
it's on fire.
How about a drink?
Of course.
But I don't have much.
-Some tequila?
-Yes.
Why not?
I'll drink, talk to you
and kiss you.
In that order?
I'll kiss you, drink
and talk to you.
What's wrong?
Nothing. I had a bad experience
when I was young.
Really?
What are you doing? Stop!
I don't like that.
No, I don't like
to be dominated.
Yes, you do.
You don't know it yet.
No. Stop!
I don't like that. No!
Under a cold shower?
"Under a cold shower"?
Surely not.
Excuse me...
No, I don't think this'll work.
Don't take it bad,
but really, it's physical,
it's the odor, that's all.
You should leave now.
But it's not you. No.
There.
Look, don't be sorry.
But you still have to pay me.
Here.
Thank you very much.
Have a good evening.
You too.
-I'm sorry.
-Evening.
Good evening.
It's Mrs. Delay again.
I'm calling to tell you
I'm not happy.
I don't know...
I'm not happy.
You send over guys
who don't make me happy. OK.
I'll wait, OK?
Call me back, then. OK.
Where does this come from?
Yes, of course.
Now let's see...
So... Paris Première,
M6, France 2.
All that?
Is he looking for a job?
Sylvia, Marielle, Patricia...
On and on.
Counselor Desforêt Tuesday,
Counselor Desforêt Thursday...
You like women lawyers.
And... Virginie...
Can I come in?
Yes, please do.
I'm a little absentminded.
Offer me a drink?
Yes, I'm sorry. Sit down.
Thank you.
Mind if we talk a little?
No. I'm also here for that.
To tell you the truth,
I was on my way out.
Yes. It happens.
I'm used to it.
What usually happens?
They ask me to talk a little,
but not too much.
And then...
...to be patient,
kind, loving.
But...
What are your strong suits?
Are you rough?
Are you patient?
Are you violent?
Are you generous?
I'm whatever you want me to be.
What are you doing? Sleeping?
No, I was hoping to talk to you.
You don't appeal to me, Walter.
I don't want to sleep
with a guy like you.
Looking for your coke?
-You want one dose?
-Yeah.
Give it back?
Without telling anyone?
Like that?
For free?
What do you want?
What are you looking for?
Do me a small favor?
A "small" favor?
OK, no problem.
Olivier.
Hello. Did you know it's 9 a.m.?
Can we talk for two minutes?
Yes, if you like.
I worked all night
on the AntiAvalanche Whistle.
I nodded off.
I'll present
the AntiFear Fluid.
I discussed it with Walter.
It'll be a good teleshopping ad.
The set could be gore-inspired.
Let's do something innovative.
We need to do this.
Let me take care of it.
Don't worry.
What the hell is going on?
Since when do you make
decisions alone?
The tests are inconclusive.
And France?
France is never around.
Sofia called last night.
I answered the phone.
She's getting impatient.
That's normal.
And you're always worrying.
Wait.
It's me.
But I can...
OK. Of course.
Yvan, I'm out of cash.
Can you pay for me? Thanks.
-Hi, Yvan.
-Hi, girls. France!
Some people have trouble
being heard.
Yes. Of course.
They're not loved
for who they are.
Yes.
Did you know you have a...
Actually, there. You'll see.
Oh shit.
-What are you doing?
-Leave me alone.
You threw up.
Here, take this.
-Just go away. I'm a whore!
-Look, I apologized.
You don't understand, France.
I have to stop.
I swear, I have to stop.
What are you talking about?
Here, drink. It'll do you good.
No. Leave me alone.
I don't want any.
Where's Estelle?
Shit, it's Walter. Get lost.
Help me. Get lost. Help me.
Finished your call?
You left early yesterday,
but I think you were right.
Let's not mix
business with pleasure.
Have you seen Estelle?
-Tell her I'm looking for her.
-OK.
By the way,
have you seen my Palm?
Yes. I threw it in the toilet.
-Can we bury the hatchet?
-Of course.
Now tell me what's going on.
France! Listen,
we absolutely have to talk.
OK.
I don't know how
you found out about it,
but I have nothing to hide.
OK, so...
Last night I...
With a gigolo. There.
Look, it relaxed me.
I know it can relax you.
OK, look...
Now you'll understand.
I announced my coming out
during an interview.
Really? What for?
Everybody knows.
No way! You, Estelle,
the Boutique, yes, but...
The audience doesn't know
who I truly am.
Nor does the audience know
what I did last night,
-and I won't reveal it.
-Do whatever you like, but...
I have to tell them the truth.
I'm not the perfect son-in-law.
I won't marry your daughter.
In fact, I'd screw
the hell out of your son!
There, I said it.
The receptionists will be upset.
Maybe.
But you have to know
when to speak out.
Of course.
I'll do like Miss Desforêt
last month.
I'll do a coming out
and change my hairstyle.
Wait. Who is Desforêt?
Desforêt, the lawyer
from the consumer paper.
The lawyer who set up Chardin.
A lawyer set up Chardin?
What the hell's going on?
Why is Walter with Desforêt?
-Where were you?
-Thanks for your support!
Great.
Mrs. Deverson and Walter
are here to sign the contracts.
Olivier's with them,
but he looks haggard...
Shit. We have to hurry, Norma.
We have to call Agnès.
Think, Olivier.
Estelle is fine.
But you reassure viewers.
Fear is a subjective notion,
and that's where you shine.
But because
of that subjectivity,
our tests weren't very
conclusive. Personally...
I have 50 people in the USA
who will provide testimonials
on behalf of the AntiFear Fluid.
I understand your prudence.
But I was trained as a lawyer.
It's airtight.
If we can help people,
that's the point.
We both care about that.
-No?
-Yes.
Hello, France.
Hello, Sofia.
Sofia and I have an agreement.
For the AntiFear Fluid,
we'll think about
the presentation.
Contracts have to be prepared
before her 5 p.m. flight.
-The contracts are ready.
-Really?
Yes. Estelle and I
are working on the demo.
Olivier might want
to present it alone.
Really?
Olivier.
Well... We'll see.
Please give me the contracts.
There.
Thanks.
There.
It's our standard contract,
except the percentage,
is 50/50 now
when it's from your catalog.
I just have one concern.
We should rename the product.
"AntiFear Fluid" isn't original.
Don't you find?
It says what it does.
The blank space
after the legal name?
Standard procedure,
while we're waiting.
Maybe something along the lines
of AntiStress Spray, or...
Stop Stress would be better.
Stress is more topical.
Stop Stress.
-Maybe.
-I assure you.
You have to believe
in the product you sell.
The name is paramount.
I'm sure you understand.
We're ready for the shoot.
-Already?
-Yes. They're waiting for you.
-Did you call Desforêt?
-Excuse me.
-Need any pens?
-We're fine, Norma. Thanks.
Doing a teleshopping
must be exciting?
As exciting as
a lucrative contract.
Ready?
Friends, good day or good night.
I'm not sure what time
of the day or night it is,
but you'll understand why
when I talk to you
about the extraordinary product
France Boutique has for you.
And here it is.
You're wondering what it's for.
I won't keep you hanging.
The Magic Square
is a thawing board.
Yes. This board, as pure as ice,
will quickly and
very naturally defrost
whatever's in your freezer.
You're thinking,
"What about the microwave?"
Yes, the microwave can defrost.
But haven't you noticed?
It heats foods and almost
cooks them around the edges.
Besides, it's cumbersome.
You can't easily carry it.
But look at this:
The Magic Square will defrost
this piece of cod
in a few minutes,
right before your eyes.
If I touch
the Magic Square...
I can feel a slight increase
in temperature.
So?
So what happens?
So what happens?
There are times
when a simple transformation
can make you contemplate
your life and what
you've done with it.
Can you think
of a better example
than what we're
observing here...
...as a representation
of the phases of life?
All the pain that you've
inflicted in your youth?
Because the question
we may ask ourselves is...
Since life isn't carved
in one piece,
and that we must accept
that nothing lasts forever,
should we call everything into
question to regain freedom?
Should we bury a part of oneself
for the other to survive?
We've taken a few moments
to reflect on life,
and the cod is almost
totally defrosted.
Then you simply wipe clean,
and our thawing board
can be put away.
A material of the future
Self-contained.
Pure, clean, ecological.
The strong suits
of our thawing board.
Cut!
That's it for today.
Let's go join Yvan for a drink.
Nono, during the shoot, I want
the cosmos to be brightly lit.
-You OK?
-Yeah.
Trouble is,
we're increasingly conceptual.
But we don't want to be
on the fringe.
Although it is kind of tempting.
When I see video installations
in galleries,
I tell myself we're not that far
from being definitely artistic.
In the 21st century, you have
to be artistic and commercial.
That's the right approach.
Maybe now's the right time
to start a movement,
except we don't realize it.
Possibly.
-Another glass, Frédéric?
-No, thanks. I'm tipsy already.
Well, I hope you'll
stay the same.
Meaning?
Well... Like before.
Nono too.
Come over tomorrow?
That'd be good.
Really.
I'd love to paint your portrait.
My portrait? Why not?
I propose one last toast
to Yvan and Nono,
who have found
the road to freedom.
You OK, France? Here.
I'll allow myself
a glass of champagne.
Yes. Help yourself.
How are you?
Same as always before a shoot.
A little nervous.
-But you always pull it off.
-You think so?
Stop acting like a little girl.
You're resilient.
Agitated, at times,
but you can move mountains.
If you say so.
What'll you do tomorrow?
I'll lounge around.
Maybe I'll sleep here.
You can sleep at home.
I'm going to a hotel.
It'll be a change.
Yeah, change is good.
Try new things...
Why am I afraid to age
around you?
I don't know.
I don't know.
I'll do the AntiFear Fluid ad
with Estelle.
Go ahead, I don't
believe in the stuff.
We need the money, remember?
I'm very resilient, no?
Thanks to our Music Museum,
you'll spend enjoyable evenings
in an ambiance
at once relaxing and cultural.
Our Music Museum comprises
10 famous paintings
with 10 secretly hidden
famous arias.
It's a remarkable
mural decoration.
Rigoletto, La Traviata,
The Marriage of Figaro,
and, on the Mona Lisa,
The Bat.
All for 149 euros.
Our Music Museum, which is both
cultural and user-friendly,
is a feast
for your eyes and ears.
It's a symbol
of culture with a capital C,
in your home with a capital H,
for your immense pleasure
with a giant capital P.
France!
What could be better than
great music, paintings
and fine food?
But don't forget good friends.
You can dine with lovers
as Rigoletto plays,
but you'll get the most out of
the Music Museum among friends.
And the friends of France
Boutique have many friends,
and so you can look forward
to many fine evenings.
But right now, please note
that out Music Museum
is an even better buy.
Today, our Music Museum,
which usually costs
only 149 euros...
If you're among
the first 1,000 callers,
-it'll only cost you...
-120 euros, Olivier. Yes!
A 20% saving on an item
you won't regret buying.
It's guaranteed 100% cultural.
Will you be one of
France Boutique's 1,000 friends
who order
our Music Museum? France?
-10.
-9.
-8.
-7.
-6.
-5.
-4.
-3, 2,
1... Go!
Great.
Stay where you are.
Get ready.
Good, but insist a little more.
Smile!
So? How's everything going?
We just started.
We'll find out soon.
By the way...
France will present
your antistress product.
-She's going with that name?
-I don't know.
-I'm in a hurry. Stand there.
-France? OK.
Get out or turn it off! So?
837.
Hello again to our great number
of friends, Olivier.
But not, however...
So? Have we reached 1,000?
Not yet. It's a new item.
It takes a little time.
But it'll generate strong
word-of-mouth sales.
OK, get ready.
We're ready to roll.
Yes. Very soft, very elegant.
Later.
You, stand up straight.
How much time?
-One minute.
-OK. Good luck, girls.
-So?
-915.
-Did you forget the shoes?
-No. Don't worry.
Ready?
How do you plan to do this
with France?
-Shall I go?
-No, stay.
-Yes. Go have a coffee.
-OK.
We've seen some of the facets
of the Femme Femme outfit,
and it's three great
qualities are: elegance,
comfort and low maintenance.
You forgot one quality, Olivier!
A woman who wears
a Femme Femme is unpredictable.
All men think they know women.
In fact, we're all different.
We enjoy being elegant
in a Femme Femme,
but we also like to show
another side
-of our personality.
-Ratings will rise!
I'm sure my France Boutique
friends know what I'm saying.
True, we like to change,
exceed ourselves....
To find, once more,
calm, joy...
...and why not love?
-Exactly.
-I agree.
You see, Olivier, this Femme
Femme outfit doesn't hide us,
it enhances us.
Exactly.
Focus on the strong suits.
Great!
Thanks, girls.
That was great. Thanks.
Eliette and Jasmine,
go get dressed!
Valérie?
Thanks.
You have some nerve!
Well, you told me to follow
my instincts, so...
That's what I did.
Olivier.
Ready to go?
You can take advantage of our
amazing offer right now.
Look.
Great!
OK, on to the next set.
It's a change.
It's good, it's strong.
It's a little long.
You look handsome
in the ad. That excites me.
This'll do us good.
Just a penetration.
Quickly, in front of everyone.
-Yes, now.
-But...
You're stupid. You'll regret it.
-So?
-Honestly...
Drop in sales
for the thawing board.
Not easy to sell.
But it's a good sign.
It's a statistical rule.
You need to drop
before you can peak.
I'm not worried.
Stop Stress won't get us
over the hump.
Nicole,
we're all very worried...
If this stuff worked,
we'd have realized it, no?
Where's the other jerk?
She asked a scientist
to come on the set.
Yes, an expert in
magnetic waves.
To provide
scientific credibility.
Wait, Sofia.
Legally, that changes nothing.
Don't worry, she can do whatever
she likes, the damage is done.
Eliette, stand there,
Ludmilla, stand like this.
Look up.
Fabien, traveling
on the curtain.
For your Stop Stress,
there's no film or animation.
-Don't worry.
-OK. It's good.
Wait. Your girls are waiting for
the signal to open the curtain.
-Did you tell them?
-It's done.
Camera One is ready.
We're setting scene No. 3.
OK.
-Mr. Berrier, scientist.
-Hello and welcome.
-Hello, Estelle. Pleasure.
-I don't usually do this.
-Don't worry.
-Sit over here.
In the pink armchair.
Don't worry.
Just be yourself.
Welcome.
I'll let you speak
at some point.
First, we'll do
our little shtick.
-Shall we start right away?
-Don't worry.
-A little word...
-I'll let you speak.
-Over to you!
-To finish off in style,
we'll present to you
an absolutely fabulous object.
Its properties are unique,
and I'll ask Mr. Berrier...
How are you?
Mr. Berrier, an engineer,
will explain to us
how this object works.
I would also ask
Estelle to help me.
But why Estelle?
Well, ladies,
because this product is mainly
targeted towards women.
It's a cellulite tracker.
She's not supposed to say that.
Yes. For the first time ever,
the Cellulite Tracker
will detect in your body the
slightest trace of cellulite.
And in the easiest possible way.
-Let me through.
-Out!
We'll demonstrate it for you.
Follow me.
We asked Agnès to help us,
and she gladly agreed
to use the product.
-Hello, Agnès.
-Hello.
And welcome to the set.
Tell us how it works.
It's very simple.
You take the Tracker
and turn it on by pushing the
button, like on a flashlight.
You can see
that the blue light went on.
But if I place the Tracker
near my knee,
the light turns red.
-There too, on the thigh.
-Incredible.
But if I place the Tracker
on my forehead...
...nothing.
Thank you very much, Agnès.
Obviously, you can say
that Agnès is a little chubby
and that even without
the Cellulite Tracker,
she could find
the problem areas.
But let's not forget
there is also hidden cellulite.
Even for me, and although
people say I'm thin,
I am also a victim of cellulite.
Can we have a close-up of this?
Look closely.
I don't have any here.
No. No... Yes.
There. You see? Look.
Behind the thigh, the buttock,
an area where I thought I didn't
have any cellulite...
And yet, there is.
-Thanks to this crackling...
-No!
There's crackling at times,
but not necessarily
where there's cellulite.
Maybe it's the batteries.
Of course.
The Cellulite Tracker works
on AC or DC.
Since you're
a certified engineer,
maybe you can try to explain
why it crackles,
and especially explain why this
unit, this Cellulite Tracker,
can detect so reliably
the horrors of cellulitis,
a condition we abhor.
Yes, it's very simple.
This unit,
when it's ready to work,
-emits magnetic waves.
-Magnetic waves.
Magnetic waves have
special characteristics.
When you have "plus"
and "negative" poles,
they attract each other.
But in the presence
of identical poles,
"plus -plus,"
"negative -negative,"
-they repel each other.
-OK.
The magnetic waves enable
the Cellulite Tracker
to detect and track cellulite
thanks to its magnetic waves.
"Plus" or "minus," they attract
or repel each other.
It creates color.
Christ! Where are the contracts?
Your copies were sent yesterday,
ours are at the lawyer's.
But I can send you a copy.
So there's no need
to make a mess!
Let me remind you again of this
morning's special offer:
our Cellulite Tracker and
AntiFat Cream for 90 euros.
-And if more than 3,000...
-We'll throw in a 100-mL jar.
Why don't you take off
your jacket, Mr. Berrier?
Mr. Berrier also needs
our AntiFat Cream.
Listen, thank you.
You see, ladies, men too
-can be cellulite victims.
-Nono! Come here!
4,500 have already called.
That's good. Keep going.
I hope you enjoyed watching.
I know we had fun.
Congratulations and take care.
-Let the credits roll!
-See you tomorrow!
Don't play with
the extinguishers!
What if a fire breaks out?
How do you plan to change the
boxes and the instructions?
We know a friendly printer
who worked on the box stickers,
and in the package insert,
we'll alter
the on/off instructions.
It'll be good!
I'm gonna leave.
I thought it was boring.
Boring.
I don't know how you do it.
You OK?
Can you tell me what it is?
I was so busy.
I didn't watch the ad.
It's a thawing board.
It's a pure, magical material.
Somehow,
it makes frozen foods fresh.
Really?
What's it made from?
Actually, we don't know.
The inventor wouldn't reveal
his secret.
I tried to contact him,
of course.
But he lives far away,
somewhere...
I'll go visit him
when we sell the company.
Yes. I'll come with you.
If you're still
interested in me.
You'll come with me?
If I'm still interested in you?
The Double Contract means two.
Two means there's a couple.
It's not how quickly you do it.
The knife has to cut.
-You made a knot, Olivier.
-To prove it's wrinkle-free.
And I'd like to add that
it's a very hygienic hanger.
What's inside?
Translation: TV5 Québec Canada
---
Friends of France Boutique,
good evening.
We are going to show you
the fantastic results
of our Weight Loss Belt.
-Hi, everybody.
-So, France?
Today we have a product I love.
It's the Double Contract.
Why do I love it, Olivier?
I was just asking myself that.
It's so easy,
thanks to our DecoTube.
Yes. Our DecoTube.
It's like a pastry tube,
but transparent.
So how does it feel?
It massages and tingles.
But first, it massages.
But why does it tingle?
Some blouses are very delicate.
Take a good look
at the shoulder area.
As you can see, our inflatable
hanger completely fits
the shape of the blouse,
no matter how delicate it is.
So the vibrations are designed
to relax the back?
Yes, to relax it.
When you've spent the day
staring at a screen,
you need to relax,
and now there is a solution.
Staring at a screen all day.
Your poor back.
Friends of France Boutique,
hello.
-Hello, Sadjib.
-Hello.
During his conversation,
his muscles kept working.
He kept talking on the phone
and the electrical impulses
kept working.
-Professional and easy to use.
-True.
Careful!
You'll kill our chef!
-Happy birthday, Estelle.
-Thanks. Let me kiss you, Yvan.
The shoulders retain
their natural look.
Say good-bye
to nasty hanger marks.
For painful menstruation,
migraine...
For students who experience
pre-exam jitters.
Students, Sadjib.
-Shall we sum up?
-Yes.
Takes up very little space,
extremely practical...
-Won't ruin clothes...
-The price?
-Seven euros for five hangers.
-Only seven euros.
OK.
Since you gave a check
for the ring,
you won't be accused of theft.
Cartier dropped the charges.
Ask for a receipt.
For insurance purposes.
-Where do I sign?
-Here. Madam too.
Shouldn't I read it first?
Nordet.
Mrs. Maistral's things.
-Good-bye.
-Good-bye.
I need your signature.
Here, please.
-Can I have an autograph?
-Of course.
-Madam too?
-France, care to sign?
-For?
-My grandmother, Madeleine.
Honestly,
I think it's incredible.
Six years of therapy,
ten years without incidents.
-Until now?
-I told you...
We're in a tight spot
financially.
I wanted to see the ring
in natural light.
That's easy to understand.
I saw Martine outside,
so I ran to tell her to wait
for me, that's all.
Then two guys surrounded me.
I tried to explain why I ran...
-It wasn't Martine.
-No.
-Someone with the same coat.
-Yes.
Sure.
-Is it worth more than 10,000?
-Next time, find out.
Leave the manual in the closet.
-Right, Yvan?
-Exactly, Estelle.
Are you nuts or what?
I like your pecker.
I like it when you're hard.
Set it at the first speed,
an average speed.
Then, we can stop it...
If we want grated carrots
right away...
The kids are yelling, your
hubby's watching TV and it's...
-Set the speed to...
-Two.
Yes! Please don't stop. More!
Deeper. OK, that's good.
I'm gonna come. More...
Can I watch Tutti Chef?
-Can I, please?
-Yes.
When the unit starts to scale...
But rest assured, the Tutti Chef
won't make you scale the walls!
Olivier.
-Estelle dubs porn flicks.
-What?
I'm sure it's her.
Just focus on the voice.
Put it back on. You'll see.
That's not her voice,
but I swear it was her.
You have a hard-on?
It takes you forever
to remove your makeup.
Why would Estelle do that?
She makes a good living,
doesn't she?
Maybe she likes it.
Maybe it excites her.
What's so exciting about moaning
into a mike in a studio?
Inspired by Empress Josephine.
Right!
Twelve precious stones
per earring.
Why 12?
It's too long.
Who cares about the 13 moons?
I prefer the pink nightgown.
It's see-through and the
cleaning lady's coming at 8 a.m.
You don't sleep with her!
You sleep with me.
Until tomorrow, anyway.
-Trying to provoke me?
-Nobody's provoking you.
Sexy.
-You should wear a corset.
-Yes, of course.
At the office too.
Worn like this,
the tunic is very elegant,
but I can also
keep it unbuttoned...
-What?
-Look. You're too passive.
You can be so dowdy.
You have to make some changes.
"Dowdy"? Why "dowdy"? It's...
No.
I've decided to wear it
with a smock top.
It's casual.
I like wearing it like this.
It's comfortable.
"Dowdy"!
This elastic waistband provides
plenty of comfort.
Hi, girls. I'm late.
They're in the conference room.
-Mornin'.
-You're late.
-Sorry.
-Put it everywhere!
-Lots of traffic in Montreuil.
-I'll apply it to the skin.
-Yes, directly to the skin.
-It's better.
-Concentrate.
-Yes.
To do this,
I need 10 seconds of silence.
-She's a blonde?
-Yes. Since yesterday.
We don't know why.
She won't discuss it.
Yes, it's...
-What?
-I feel something...
The AntiFear Fluid.
Does it zap flies?
-What, then?
-Well...
It's kind of arousing, actually.
The solar plexus
is totally relaxed.
The inner tension points
are loosening up.
I feel very light, and yet...
What?
Yeah, it loosens you up.
-Interesting.
-Does it diminish anguish?
-The feeling of fear?
-Yeah.
It's setting your hair on fire.
-Help me! I can't see anything.
-Estelle. I was wrong.
-Not true.
-OK.
I understand.
It doesn't diminish fear.
It's not your hair!
Maybe it alleviates
minor fears.
What do you say, Marine?
Anyway,
I'm not afraid of anything.
We can't sell that.
It's a snake-oil remedy.
We can and we must.
We have access
to Sofia Deverson Webpage,
and we sell her wares
on a specialty channel.
Don't we already hawk
their kettles.
-We won't make a mint.
-Depends on the demo.
Hot, curvy, submissive, sexy:
Nice Dream,
your perfect nighttime friend.
Remind me to ask you something.
OK.
Frédéric,
how do they advertise it?
I haven't had time to check.
Moreau is sick.
A virus has infected
our statistics files.
His replacement must be here.
You have a conference call
in two minutes. Yvan?
Can you set up the screen?
-What'd you wanna ask me?
-Later.
We won't turn her down,
but we won't sell a product
we don't believe in.
We need to conduct more tests.
Let's talk to Monique.
I trust her judgment.
Let's stall.
Why? I'll tell her
we're not interested.
The partnership has strengthened
the company, so please...
You can't replace one fear
with another.
Squeeze in.
Hi.
Hi, Sofia.
-Do I know everyone?
-Yes.
Frédéric, our financial
director, just left.
Yvan, Estelle,
and France, of course.
Hi, everyone.
Hi.
I see a brunette.
-Behind you?
-Marine.
Hi, I'm Marine.
I'm replacing the decorator.
-She's on maternity leave.
-Fine.
Make suggestions. Be creative.
Are the shoots going well?
Will direct marketing
boost sales?
We haven't finished choosing
the products, but...
-I can't hear you.
-Sorry. We haven't finished
choosing the products,
but it's going well.
What about the AntiFear Fluid?
Sales are booming in the States.
Great.
But we have yet
to conclude our testing.
-But it looks good.
-Tell her what you think!
This kind of product relies on
the customer's gullibility.
-We have strict guidelines.
-I know you're demanding.
France Boutique has a reputation
for quality and honesty.
But don't ignore
a leader product
your competitor will sell.
I fought hard to obtain it.
TeleShopping is interested.
Don't be like the Amish.
OK?
Got any other products
worth mentioning?
I watched
the Femme Femme ad again.
It's... I mean...
Are sales in a slump?
We'll make changes
during the shoots.
Yes. I could
showcase it differently.
Like this, but with a belt.
That'd be good, no?
She makes everything sexy.
-Thanks
-I like your new look.
-It's more modern.
-Yes. Thanks.
You also need to draw up
a statistical profile
for the last three years.
We have lots to do.
Anything else?
Yes. I have someone for you.
Walter Borman, a young and
efficient assistant of mine.
He'll be there on Monday.
Will he be selling products
on the set?
He'll do whatever
you want him to do.
You're so naive!
She's sending him here
to spy on us!
No way he'll attend
the demo meetings.
You're so nervous!
You were with me when we signed.
Sales on their site
put us in the black.
So now we're partners. Partners.
We're better than them.
Our products...
That's not the point.
Think. It'll relax you.
Yes, and if I may say so,
you're too hyper.
I don't blame Sofia.
She's trying to change us.
She wants us to evolve.
It gives us more freedom
to express our personality,
that's good.
Know what I mean?
What exactly
is your personality?
I dunno.
I keep evolving, no?
I feel like a machine.
Actually, no.
-A robot, rather.
-You lack self-confidence.
Olivier!
See the girl in red?
Remind you of Anna Karina?
No?
-Don't you think?
-Yes. Excuse me.
Are you OK?
In modern buildings,
electronic gizmos open doors.
-Here, I have to push doors.
-I'll get you some water.
I don't mind being a robot
for the things I like.
-See the difference?
-No.
You have to alternate, OK?
Do your job, be yourself,
do your job...
-Am I being clear?
-Honestly? No.
This place is a springboard.
You jump higher and higher
to see farther ahead.
What did you want to ask me?
Later.
I'm not being uncooperative.
I'm the younger sister
of her grandmother.
I'm her grandaunt.
But nobody cares.
-Say it's Nicole.
-That's not the point.
She's not in her office
and her secretary's busy!
I'll find France.
I can't let you through
without permission!
I won't give you
the whole rundown,
but if you have a job,
it's thanks to me in part.
So open up or I'll hop over it.
I'm warning you,
I'm very supple.
Christ!
I blame Moreau.
He's a shady little fag.
Hold on.
I'm homosexual too.
If that's a problem,
look for a replacement.
I didn't mean anything by it.
It's not 'cause he's gay.
He's shady.
I see. They'll try
to retrieve the file,
but it could take a while.
But for the Cleopatra glue,
I have the stats
for the last four years.
Olivier, Pascal.
He'll be replacing Moreau.
Do we have the results
for the nighttime Josephine ad?
I have to watch
the tureen demo again,
-on M6. It's very interesting.
-63 before 6 a.m.
That's not so bad.
France always questions me.
The stats, please. It's urgent.
We can't do anything now.
The system crashed.
All these glass doors
that don't open...
It's not modern.
I can't find France.
I have to see you briefly.
-Nicole, now's not the time.
-2,000 F and I'm gone.
"Crashed"? Since when?
The virus deleted
the entire file.
Maybe there's a backup
on the hard drive.
Damn! Sofia requested it again.
She's always implying
we're behind the times.
Like for the doors.
I lost money at the casino.
I'm going through a rough time.
Talk to Sofia
about the Cleopatra glue.
-We have everything.
-Great. Very good product.
Sales have risen 32%
since the last quarter.
-Really?
-Yes.
Sales have risen steadily.
-But always more during winter.
-How do you know?
I'm a shareholder,
so I look at the numbers.
Food for thought.
Can you tell me how many
glue units we sold in 2001?
-Can I have my check?
-We'll see.
56,678.
Yes.
First, the carrots,
then the endives, and finally
the hard-boiled eggs.
Be careful, mayonnaise
isn't always photogenic.
Squeeze in a little bit.
A medium close shot.
Get a close-up of the carrots.
Marcus.
We need to rejuvenate
Femme Femme.
-See?
-Won't be easy. It's matronly.
OK, it's matronly.
But we're targeting matrons.
We have to appeal to them.
-Yes.
-OK.
Listen.
Friends of France Boutique,
hello.
Yes. Our Femme Femme
is elegant, laid-back
and wrinkle-free, like you'll
feel when you wear it.
It's supple and soft, and you
wear it on your bare skin,
like a caress, and the gold
buttons, three on the wrists,
two on the neckline,
make you sophisticated.
I unbutton the top one.
A low neckline
is always pleasing.
So, its strong suits...
What do you think?
You're excellent,
but the product didn't change.
To update it,
have a 23-year-old wear it.
I can sell it better
than any young woman ever would.
As you wish.
What is she doing?
She's rehearsing.
We'll tape the Easy Compactor.
OK. I know you're busy.
Wait. Sigh more subtly.
She'll solve the problem
thanks to the Easy Compactor.
Is that how you see us?
I've been doing this
for so long that...
Before I came here, I'd never
seen a teleshopping ad.
-Actually, I'm a painter.
-Really?
That's marvelous.
I really love painting.
I used to visit galleries
when I was at the Sorbonne,
but I don't have time now.
-Where do you exhibit?
-At home for now.
Maybe at some point?
How did an arts student
end up doing teleshopping ads?
I met France 10 years ago.
She wanted to start
"France Boutique."
I had a knack for writing...
For describing.
We started with nothing,
but it took off.
We can make lots of money.
I like money.
There. Almost done.
I like the angel
in the child's bedroom.
I'm not an expert, though.
No kids?
We don't have time.
France Maistral?
What are you doing here?
-Flowers go to Reception.
-These are for France Maistral.
-Who sent me those?
-Here's the card.
Well, I'll be...
Take back the bouquet and tell
Walter Borman I don't want them.
-I'd have to go back to Issy.
-I don't care.
From me.
Thank you.
God! Another chocolate bar ad.
Those guys look retarded!.
I watched the tureen demo on M6.
It features some kind
of virtual host.
No, not again.
We don't want that.
Why not?
We'll talk about it later, OK?
-Won't you eat with us?
-No, thanks.
I have to test the Depilator.
He's a pain
with his virtual host idea.
So did you test it?
What do you think?
A hot chocolate and a straw.
-In 2000 or 2001?
-I'm thirsty.
-Is everything OK?
-Yes. But it's time to fuel up.
So... Easy to hold,
won't slip,
the blue light is reassuring,
gives the user the impression
something's happening,
but after 30 minutes,
nothing has happened.
-I knew it.
-Wait.
I don't easily get scared.
Ask another colleague.
The one who keeps gaining
and losing weight.
Agnès.
Agnès is more likely to use
something like this.
How are things
between you and France?
Fine. Preparing for the shoots.
A little nervous.
We have good products,
but we're missing one,
a big one, for teleshopping,
but that one...
I could promote
the Vertical Grill.
I've made more brochettes.
Succulent. And not fatty.
Wanna come over to taste them?
Sweetie.
No, but thanks.
-Where do I put it?
-Over there. Coming.
But we could use
your testimonial.
Excuse me.
Who gave you a rose?
A pleasant young man.
You don't know him.
You smeared some mascara.
Movies are only skin deep!
This isn't the time,
but I'd rather be elsewhere.
When's the last time
we had fun in the sun?
Since we tried to start
France Boutique Morocco.
You're right!
I'd forgotten about that.
The oyster...
No, the wrong length for winter.
...for which women...
Simple jewelry for which...
The waist remains small.
His manager is nowhere
to be found.
Antoine Chardin is very upset
and won't give interviews.
He made his TV debut on France 3
in '89. His popularity...
-Is he dead?
-Who?
-Chardin. Is he dead?
-No. He's been indicted.
Really?
Do I have a small waistline?
Now I'm hungry.
-Let's have a bite together.
-No. I'll have nonfat yogurt.
You carry
five extra pounds well.
Really?
I thought you only liked
brunettes.
Thin, tall brunettes.
-What is it you want?
-I dunno.
Kiss me.
Yes, Sofia.
No, not at all.
In English?
Yes, it'd be great
for teleshopping.
Not before January?
So we'll test them...
It works well
even on very dirty windows.
Just wipe,
and the window's clean.
It's a very good product.
Later, as a "bonus tip,"
we could say it cleans the skin.
-Isn't it too hot?
-No. I did it. It works.
It's really good for the pores.
OK, fine.
So Estelle would sell it
as a type of...
...facial sauna?
-No problem.
-I'll redo the Femme Femme.
I'll do it with you.
I have some ideas.
-Are you sure?
-Yes. You'll see.
-Want me to try?
-No, thanks. We'll be OK.
Now on to the Hairminator.
We need to find a new angle.
France? France!
-Are you listening?
-Yes. Sorry.
Yes, so...
The Depilator poses
a product placement problem.
It's a wax.
A light wax, but a wax.
There's nothing new
under the sun.
The product's strong suit
is it's small size.
And it can be battery-operated.
But if we want
to keep promoting it,
-we have to think of an idea.
-OK. An "idea."
-Let's brainstorm.
-I would've tested it.
But I've used it so much
I have no hairs left.
I do.
Swimmers and cyclists do it
all the time, so why can't I?
-I can try.
-Really? OK, go ahead.
Concentrate.
Yvan, are you sure?
The underarm area?
Extremely painful.
I know.
Especially for very long hair.
It's warm, but it doesn't burn.
What else?
It isn't unpleasant.
-Go on.
-Thanks.
-It isn't really painful.
-No.
It's effective, that's for sure.
"Effective."
We need to find better,
because "effective"...
So...
Effective, no pain, no hair.
Let's do a "before and after."
Too old-fashioned.
We could say it's simple to use.
Yes. Simple to use
and effective.
-Simple to use.
-What else?
I have an idea.
I'll discuss it with Marcus
after the casting.
Sure, if you like...
We need a new product!
New stuff, Christ!
-You wanted to see me?
-Yes, Marine. Come in.
Olivier, did this just come in?
Yes. A hair-cutting vacuum.
Not bad, but not easy to use.
I'd like to try it.
Marine, find me an idea
for this.
This is a thawing board.
You OK?
Yes, I'm very well now. Thanks.
According to Nicole, the
espresso machine isn't too bad.
But we're elitist.
We reach upper-end households.
We're better at night.
No kidding.
Coffee, insomniacs: old hat.
-Is Robert back from Taiwan?
-No news.
And Mrs. Pontet wants 3%
on the no-stain paint.
Or she'll go
to our competitors.
That bitch!
Is this war or what?
I agree with you:
"It's war."
Hello. I'm here to see
France and Olivier Maistral.
Walter Borman.
Didn't Sofia mention me?
Yes, but we were expecting you
on Monday.
I couldn't wait to start working
and to get to know you,
to get into the swing of things.
Could I have a quick tour?
Yes, but quickly,
because I have plenty to do.
Hi. My name's Norma.
This is our aftersales
and complaints department.
But we can handle 10 times more
calls for incoming orders.
Accounting. Follow me?
I do this for 10 minutes daily.
It's good for your posture.
Nicole, an original shareholder,
is a relative of France.
-Walter'll be working with us.
-Great.
-What exactly do you do?
-A bit of everything.
But I do very specialized work.
This is Walter, from Deverson.
Hello. Happy to meet you.
I didn't see the AntiFear Fluid
on your site.
-We didn't include it.
-Why not?
We're waiting for you
to promote it.
It's not that easy.
Dressing rooms, hair and makeup.
Estelle, this is Walter Borman,
Sofia's friend.
Coming?
This is where France
does casting.
They're all our customers,
but some give better
testimonials than others.
You see? We're testing.
On the solar plexus, stomach...
Everywhere.
France. Sorry to disturb you.
I want you to meet
Walter Borman, Sofia's friend.
Good to see you again.
Oh, yes. Hi.
Excuse me.
I'll join you later.
-Everything OK?
-Yes.
Wow.
It changes color.
France Boutique, hello.
Smoking's not allowed
on the set.
Finally, there you are.
The place looks very nice.
But you could be
more productive.
Please put out your cigarette.
Your little joke the other day
was quite amusing.
It allowed me
to gauge reactions.
Getting angry is always
a sign of weakness.
Or unbridled determination.
I'm sure you understand.
Why do you treat me this way?
I'm a fan.
I've always watched you on TV.
-Since...
-You were little?
Since I started dreaming
about girls.
Robert's here.
He's waiting downstairs.
Great! Can you find
this gentleman a desk?
Of course.
Do you prefer
a warm environment or...
Marine, did you get hurt?
You OK?
Yes, I'm OK.
I'm sorry.
Estelle and Yvan's office?
-Farther along, on the right.
-Thanks.
I feel comfortable.
At once laid-back and elegant.
Shall we recap
the product's strong suits?
Cédric! Come here!
Cédric, fetch me
Femme Femme's program log.
I can't find her.
So?
Let's think about her,
so she'll show up.
Feeling better?
Why'd you miss the shoot?
Why doesn't that seem
to bother you?
Huh?
-I fell asleep.
-Are you kidding me?
How could you forget?
You insisted on doing
the ad yourself.
-I fell asleep.
-You fell asleep?
Yes. Sorry.
But how,
knowing that guy's around,
knowing he's looking for proof
that we're obsolete?
I think I was tired. There.
"Tired"? On the day we're
reworking the Femme Femme?
Walter suggested
I should replace you.
What could I tell him?
He's here to sow dissension,
and he's doing a good job.
You're totally irresponsible,
so he humiliated me.
Because you're scared
we'll become obsolete.
That predator senses it.
You were sleeping,
but I'm the problem.
-That's not what I meant.
-I'm tired. I didn't sleep.
We'll talk about this tomorrow.
I'll call Marcus.
We'll redo it first thing.
Never mind, I'll do it
with Eliette and Jasmine.
As you wish.
No, not as you wish!
We'll discuss this tomorrow,
because you don't decide alone!
Good night.
Would you bring me
some champagne?
You're a modern woman,
you're very active,
and the presence of unsightly
hairs is ruining your life.
Our Hairminator
is perfect for you.
Its design
and battery operation option,
mean you can carry it
with you anywhere.
In minutes,
the wax in the applicator
is ready to be used.
Even at a friend's place,
the thin wax is easy to apply
and dries quickly,
providing you with
the maximum freedom you need.
It's a very rich
and beautiful performance...
Our Hairminator
comes with 100 strips
specially designed to provide
fast and easy hair removal.
Hello.
A simple movement,
a burst of laughter,
and the strip is gone
before you know it.
Painlessly.
With total effectiveness.
Thanks to the Hairminator,
unwanted hair removal
is discreet and user-friendly.
You can also lend it
to your friends,
since the wax is used only once.
The Hairminator: discretion
and softness guaranteed.
Afterwards,
we'll add a shot of France
crossing her legs and smiling.
Cut! Then back to you
If we believe in it, it'll work.
Removing unwanted hair at a
friends'? You're a trollop!
It was France's idea.
But it's very American,
which isn't our style.
Exactly. It's a major change,
so it's very radical.
Isn't it a bit sick?
Hair removal in public!
I don't know...
What a trollopy thing to do!
Trollopy!
Yes, it's strange.
Is it plausible?
-Sorry. Estelle?
-I have to run.
What exactly is a "trollop"?
A trollop? I dunno.
How can I put it...
I dunno.
It's something you feel.
When you dub pornos,
don't you feel like a trollop?
-What?
-When you yell,
"Shove it in deeper,"
don't you feel like a trollop?
Is that what you wanted
to talk to me about?
You don't get it...
I wasn't in front of a mike.
I was in the movie.
Didn't you recognize me?
I was wearing a wig and a mask.
And riding winkies.
Did you like it?
Did you touch yourself?
Don't be vulgar.
This is ridiculous.
What? I'm vulgar? And you?
Isn't it vulgar for you
to ask me that?
You wanted to trap me,
but I'm not ashamed I did it.
I did it for pleasure.
I assume full responsibility.
Unlike my sister,
who's a prude like you.
Let's stop now.
I'm sorry, OK?
Look at the way
you're talking to me!
Go take a cold shower,
it'll do you good.
There are two kinds of people:
those who try to shaft others
and those who get shafted.
Piss off.
Can I talk to you?
Wait a minute.
I'll be right out.
No, I gotta say this now.
I love you.
I don't know if I love you,
but I'm in love with you.
I feel affection for France,
but I can't live a lie.
This love consumes me.
I don't know how to stop it.
I need you to help me.
If you spent one night with me,
just one,
I'd calm down.
Monique, you don't know
what you're saying.
You always miss
what you don't have.
That's all.
One night! Olivier.
Just one. Whenever you like.
No. 5.
-Champs Élysées?
-Great.
Shit.
-You look very happy.
-I'm having a blast.
Have a drink and tell me more.
Their relationship is strained.
They're a little rough with me,
but there are weak links
among the staff.
I'll be able to put
pressure on them.
Fine. Is Desforêt ready?
Is everything in place?
We have to be savvy
when we sign, that's all.
Marketing in France
must be their
exclusive responsibility.
That's in the contract, no?
Aren't they suspicious?
A little. Especially the Fluid.
They know it's iffy,
so they have mixed feelings
towards their clientele.
But we're in luck.
They really need the dough.
They have a lot of worries.
Later, to speed things up,
we'll repeat the Chardin scheme:
consumer complaints,
some bad press, and
they'll be banned from the air.
We'll snitch their TV show.
An open shirt is an obvious sign
of smugness, so be careful.
Wouldn't it be better if Olivier
presented the products?
Yes.
We'll try to convince him.
I could repaint the ceiling
while she's sleeping.
Thanks, Jean.
Now, we'll present to you
our line of knives,
Master Chu,
with their titanium blades.
So, France, what can we tell
our friends of France Boutique?
Well, dear friends,
you've had the occasion
to admire the skills
of our chef,
thanks to the Master Chu knives,
but if you like,
let's go further.
Neither you or I are chefs,
so what can we do,
or rather, what can we do
with our line of knives?
Absolutely everything.
This little one, for example...
I love grapefruit
in the morning,
and this sharp little knife
allows me to cut them in a snap.
But I could take
this little knife
and plunge it into my lover's
heart if he isn't nice to me.
That's one possible use.
This one... Do you know
what the yakuza do, Olivier?
No? You don't know them?
The yakuza
are Japanese gangsters,
who, to pay their
debts of honor,
give their debtors
a little finger.
This knife can instantly
cut off a little finger,
probably without causing pain.
Put your hand on the table.
I'd love to cut one off.
But my honor is intact, France.
-Right!
-Intact.
In short, our Master Chu line
of knives can cut everything.
Even conversation.
It's a true helper
in your kitchen.
Now let's recap
the product's strong suits:
One: The knives have
titanium blades.
Two: The knives are
machine-washable. Three...
It's a must for you kitchen.
Cut.
-Get lost.
-Finished?
-One more time.
-Piss off.
-Maybe she's tired.
-She's tiresome!
OK, relax.
-What's your problem?
-I don't have a problem.
We can improvise, spice it up.
It's too drab.
Spice it up? You?
You're so stiff!
-You're as weak as water.
-You'll sink the company.
It's mine as much as yours.
That's all we have in common.
So you wanna blow it up?
You're worrying about it now?
Remember that you started this.
Can I help you?
I can't find my keys.
They're probably
in Olivier's pocket.
Yes. Surely
"in Olivier's pocket."
Wait. Maybe it's urgent.
I gotta get that.
Are you OK?
It feels strange
to hear your voice.
How long have you been in Paris?
For long?
Of course we can
see each other... Wait...
Is after tomorrow OK? Yeah?
I'll consult my Palm,
and if there's a problem,
I'll call you back.
When'd you get back?
A month ago?
So how are you?
Me? No, I'm OK.
Aren't you working now?
Yes. Absolutely.
No. Just for one night.
One room for one night.
For Mrs. Delay.
Absolutely.
See you soon. Thanks.
What's the address?
57 Kléber Avenue, please.
Evening.
I didn't call.
I wanted to...
To see my paintings.
It's a good thing you came.
I'm very glad.
Me too.
Would you like
something to drink?
No. Not right away.
I can't wait to see your works.
Really?
Not everything's here.
Some of it is at my parents'.
Here we go. A recent painting.
It's not like you...
But it's...
I don't know.
My father.
He's a...
-Dentist.
-"Dentist"?
It conveys torment, but...
It's very powerful.
I'm experimenting with texture.
The power of texture on canvas.
The work and the medium are one.
I mean, I think...
-I'm experimenting.
-I understand.
-Really?
-Yes.
-You're not just saying that?
-No.
Then I'll show you
what I've been working on.
This is the texture
I mentioned.
-How do you do that?
-I start with a portrait.
My first lover.
I always add a thick coat
of red on the face,
some black for the hair,
gray for the beard...
Then... I reach for the acid.
I sprinkle it.
The paint melts,
the canvas catches fire.
There's plenty of smoke,
it's on fire.
How about a drink?
Of course.
But I don't have much.
-Some tequila?
-Yes.
Why not?
I'll drink, talk to you
and kiss you.
In that order?
I'll kiss you, drink
and talk to you.
What's wrong?
Nothing. I had a bad experience
when I was young.
Really?
What are you doing? Stop!
I don't like that.
No, I don't like
to be dominated.
Yes, you do.
You don't know it yet.
No. Stop!
I don't like that. No!
Under a cold shower?
"Under a cold shower"?
Surely not.
Excuse me...
No, I don't think this'll work.
Don't take it bad,
but really, it's physical,
it's the odor, that's all.
You should leave now.
But it's not you. No.
There.
Look, don't be sorry.
But you still have to pay me.
Here.
Thank you very much.
Have a good evening.
You too.
-I'm sorry.
-Evening.
Good evening.
It's Mrs. Delay again.
I'm calling to tell you
I'm not happy.
I don't know...
I'm not happy.
You send over guys
who don't make me happy. OK.
I'll wait, OK?
Call me back, then. OK.
Where does this come from?
Yes, of course.
Now let's see...
So... Paris Première,
M6, France 2.
All that?
Is he looking for a job?
Sylvia, Marielle, Patricia...
On and on.
Counselor Desforêt Tuesday,
Counselor Desforêt Thursday...
You like women lawyers.
And... Virginie...
Can I come in?
Yes, please do.
I'm a little absentminded.
Offer me a drink?
Yes, I'm sorry. Sit down.
Thank you.
Mind if we talk a little?
No. I'm also here for that.
To tell you the truth,
I was on my way out.
Yes. It happens.
I'm used to it.
What usually happens?
They ask me to talk a little,
but not too much.
And then...
...to be patient,
kind, loving.
But...
What are your strong suits?
Are you rough?
Are you patient?
Are you violent?
Are you generous?
I'm whatever you want me to be.
What are you doing? Sleeping?
No, I was hoping to talk to you.
You don't appeal to me, Walter.
I don't want to sleep
with a guy like you.
Looking for your coke?
-You want one dose?
-Yeah.
Give it back?
Without telling anyone?
Like that?
For free?
What do you want?
What are you looking for?
Do me a small favor?
A "small" favor?
OK, no problem.
Olivier.
Hello. Did you know it's 9 a.m.?
Can we talk for two minutes?
Yes, if you like.
I worked all night
on the AntiAvalanche Whistle.
I nodded off.
I'll present
the AntiFear Fluid.
I discussed it with Walter.
It'll be a good teleshopping ad.
The set could be gore-inspired.
Let's do something innovative.
We need to do this.
Let me take care of it.
Don't worry.
What the hell is going on?
Since when do you make
decisions alone?
The tests are inconclusive.
And France?
France is never around.
Sofia called last night.
I answered the phone.
She's getting impatient.
That's normal.
And you're always worrying.
Wait.
It's me.
But I can...
OK. Of course.
Yvan, I'm out of cash.
Can you pay for me? Thanks.
-Hi, Yvan.
-Hi, girls. France!
Some people have trouble
being heard.
Yes. Of course.
They're not loved
for who they are.
Yes.
Did you know you have a...
Actually, there. You'll see.
Oh shit.
-What are you doing?
-Leave me alone.
You threw up.
Here, take this.
-Just go away. I'm a whore!
-Look, I apologized.
You don't understand, France.
I have to stop.
I swear, I have to stop.
What are you talking about?
Here, drink. It'll do you good.
No. Leave me alone.
I don't want any.
Where's Estelle?
Shit, it's Walter. Get lost.
Help me. Get lost. Help me.
Finished your call?
You left early yesterday,
but I think you were right.
Let's not mix
business with pleasure.
Have you seen Estelle?
-Tell her I'm looking for her.
-OK.
By the way,
have you seen my Palm?
Yes. I threw it in the toilet.
-Can we bury the hatchet?
-Of course.
Now tell me what's going on.
France! Listen,
we absolutely have to talk.
OK.
I don't know how
you found out about it,
but I have nothing to hide.
OK, so...
Last night I...
With a gigolo. There.
Look, it relaxed me.
I know it can relax you.
OK, look...
Now you'll understand.
I announced my coming out
during an interview.
Really? What for?
Everybody knows.
No way! You, Estelle,
the Boutique, yes, but...
The audience doesn't know
who I truly am.
Nor does the audience know
what I did last night,
-and I won't reveal it.
-Do whatever you like, but...
I have to tell them the truth.
I'm not the perfect son-in-law.
I won't marry your daughter.
In fact, I'd screw
the hell out of your son!
There, I said it.
The receptionists will be upset.
Maybe.
But you have to know
when to speak out.
Of course.
I'll do like Miss Desforêt
last month.
I'll do a coming out
and change my hairstyle.
Wait. Who is Desforêt?
Desforêt, the lawyer
from the consumer paper.
The lawyer who set up Chardin.
A lawyer set up Chardin?
What the hell's going on?
Why is Walter with Desforêt?
-Where were you?
-Thanks for your support!
Great.
Mrs. Deverson and Walter
are here to sign the contracts.
Olivier's with them,
but he looks haggard...
Shit. We have to hurry, Norma.
We have to call Agnès.
Think, Olivier.
Estelle is fine.
But you reassure viewers.
Fear is a subjective notion,
and that's where you shine.
But because
of that subjectivity,
our tests weren't very
conclusive. Personally...
I have 50 people in the USA
who will provide testimonials
on behalf of the AntiFear Fluid.
I understand your prudence.
But I was trained as a lawyer.
It's airtight.
If we can help people,
that's the point.
We both care about that.
-No?
-Yes.
Hello, France.
Hello, Sofia.
Sofia and I have an agreement.
For the AntiFear Fluid,
we'll think about
the presentation.
Contracts have to be prepared
before her 5 p.m. flight.
-The contracts are ready.
-Really?
Yes. Estelle and I
are working on the demo.
Olivier might want
to present it alone.
Really?
Olivier.
Well... We'll see.
Please give me the contracts.
There.
Thanks.
There.
It's our standard contract,
except the percentage,
is 50/50 now
when it's from your catalog.
I just have one concern.
We should rename the product.
"AntiFear Fluid" isn't original.
Don't you find?
It says what it does.
The blank space
after the legal name?
Standard procedure,
while we're waiting.
Maybe something along the lines
of AntiStress Spray, or...
Stop Stress would be better.
Stress is more topical.
Stop Stress.
-Maybe.
-I assure you.
You have to believe
in the product you sell.
The name is paramount.
I'm sure you understand.
We're ready for the shoot.
-Already?
-Yes. They're waiting for you.
-Did you call Desforêt?
-Excuse me.
-Need any pens?
-We're fine, Norma. Thanks.
Doing a teleshopping
must be exciting?
As exciting as
a lucrative contract.
Ready?
Friends, good day or good night.
I'm not sure what time
of the day or night it is,
but you'll understand why
when I talk to you
about the extraordinary product
France Boutique has for you.
And here it is.
You're wondering what it's for.
I won't keep you hanging.
The Magic Square
is a thawing board.
Yes. This board, as pure as ice,
will quickly and
very naturally defrost
whatever's in your freezer.
You're thinking,
"What about the microwave?"
Yes, the microwave can defrost.
But haven't you noticed?
It heats foods and almost
cooks them around the edges.
Besides, it's cumbersome.
You can't easily carry it.
But look at this:
The Magic Square will defrost
this piece of cod
in a few minutes,
right before your eyes.
If I touch
the Magic Square...
I can feel a slight increase
in temperature.
So?
So what happens?
So what happens?
There are times
when a simple transformation
can make you contemplate
your life and what
you've done with it.
Can you think
of a better example
than what we're
observing here...
...as a representation
of the phases of life?
All the pain that you've
inflicted in your youth?
Because the question
we may ask ourselves is...
Since life isn't carved
in one piece,
and that we must accept
that nothing lasts forever,
should we call everything into
question to regain freedom?
Should we bury a part of oneself
for the other to survive?
We've taken a few moments
to reflect on life,
and the cod is almost
totally defrosted.
Then you simply wipe clean,
and our thawing board
can be put away.
A material of the future
Self-contained.
Pure, clean, ecological.
The strong suits
of our thawing board.
Cut!
That's it for today.
Let's go join Yvan for a drink.
Nono, during the shoot, I want
the cosmos to be brightly lit.
-You OK?
-Yeah.
Trouble is,
we're increasingly conceptual.
But we don't want to be
on the fringe.
Although it is kind of tempting.
When I see video installations
in galleries,
I tell myself we're not that far
from being definitely artistic.
In the 21st century, you have
to be artistic and commercial.
That's the right approach.
Maybe now's the right time
to start a movement,
except we don't realize it.
Possibly.
-Another glass, Frédéric?
-No, thanks. I'm tipsy already.
Well, I hope you'll
stay the same.
Meaning?
Well... Like before.
Nono too.
Come over tomorrow?
That'd be good.
Really.
I'd love to paint your portrait.
My portrait? Why not?
I propose one last toast
to Yvan and Nono,
who have found
the road to freedom.
You OK, France? Here.
I'll allow myself
a glass of champagne.
Yes. Help yourself.
How are you?
Same as always before a shoot.
A little nervous.
-But you always pull it off.
-You think so?
Stop acting like a little girl.
You're resilient.
Agitated, at times,
but you can move mountains.
If you say so.
What'll you do tomorrow?
I'll lounge around.
Maybe I'll sleep here.
You can sleep at home.
I'm going to a hotel.
It'll be a change.
Yeah, change is good.
Try new things...
Why am I afraid to age
around you?
I don't know.
I don't know.
I'll do the AntiFear Fluid ad
with Estelle.
Go ahead, I don't
believe in the stuff.
We need the money, remember?
I'm very resilient, no?
Thanks to our Music Museum,
you'll spend enjoyable evenings
in an ambiance
at once relaxing and cultural.
Our Music Museum comprises
10 famous paintings
with 10 secretly hidden
famous arias.
It's a remarkable
mural decoration.
Rigoletto, La Traviata,
The Marriage of Figaro,
and, on the Mona Lisa,
The Bat.
All for 149 euros.
Our Music Museum, which is both
cultural and user-friendly,
is a feast
for your eyes and ears.
It's a symbol
of culture with a capital C,
in your home with a capital H,
for your immense pleasure
with a giant capital P.
France!
What could be better than
great music, paintings
and fine food?
But don't forget good friends.
You can dine with lovers
as Rigoletto plays,
but you'll get the most out of
the Music Museum among friends.
And the friends of France
Boutique have many friends,
and so you can look forward
to many fine evenings.
But right now, please note
that out Music Museum
is an even better buy.
Today, our Music Museum,
which usually costs
only 149 euros...
If you're among
the first 1,000 callers,
-it'll only cost you...
-120 euros, Olivier. Yes!
A 20% saving on an item
you won't regret buying.
It's guaranteed 100% cultural.
Will you be one of
France Boutique's 1,000 friends
who order
our Music Museum? France?
-10.
-9.
-8.
-7.
-6.
-5.
-4.
-3, 2,
1... Go!
Great.
Stay where you are.
Get ready.
Good, but insist a little more.
Smile!
So? How's everything going?
We just started.
We'll find out soon.
By the way...
France will present
your antistress product.
-She's going with that name?
-I don't know.
-I'm in a hurry. Stand there.
-France? OK.
Get out or turn it off! So?
837.
Hello again to our great number
of friends, Olivier.
But not, however...
So? Have we reached 1,000?
Not yet. It's a new item.
It takes a little time.
But it'll generate strong
word-of-mouth sales.
OK, get ready.
We're ready to roll.
Yes. Very soft, very elegant.
Later.
You, stand up straight.
How much time?
-One minute.
-OK. Good luck, girls.
-So?
-915.
-Did you forget the shoes?
-No. Don't worry.
Ready?
How do you plan to do this
with France?
-Shall I go?
-No, stay.
-Yes. Go have a coffee.
-OK.
We've seen some of the facets
of the Femme Femme outfit,
and it's three great
qualities are: elegance,
comfort and low maintenance.
You forgot one quality, Olivier!
A woman who wears
a Femme Femme is unpredictable.
All men think they know women.
In fact, we're all different.
We enjoy being elegant
in a Femme Femme,
but we also like to show
another side
-of our personality.
-Ratings will rise!
I'm sure my France Boutique
friends know what I'm saying.
True, we like to change,
exceed ourselves....
To find, once more,
calm, joy...
...and why not love?
-Exactly.
-I agree.
You see, Olivier, this Femme
Femme outfit doesn't hide us,
it enhances us.
Exactly.
Focus on the strong suits.
Great!
Thanks, girls.
That was great. Thanks.
Eliette and Jasmine,
go get dressed!
Valérie?
Thanks.
You have some nerve!
Well, you told me to follow
my instincts, so...
That's what I did.
Olivier.
Ready to go?
You can take advantage of our
amazing offer right now.
Look.
Great!
OK, on to the next set.
It's a change.
It's good, it's strong.
It's a little long.
You look handsome
in the ad. That excites me.
This'll do us good.
Just a penetration.
Quickly, in front of everyone.
-Yes, now.
-But...
You're stupid. You'll regret it.
-So?
-Honestly...
Drop in sales
for the thawing board.
Not easy to sell.
But it's a good sign.
It's a statistical rule.
You need to drop
before you can peak.
I'm not worried.
Stop Stress won't get us
over the hump.
Nicole,
we're all very worried...
If this stuff worked,
we'd have realized it, no?
Where's the other jerk?
She asked a scientist
to come on the set.
Yes, an expert in
magnetic waves.
To provide
scientific credibility.
Wait, Sofia.
Legally, that changes nothing.
Don't worry, she can do whatever
she likes, the damage is done.
Eliette, stand there,
Ludmilla, stand like this.
Look up.
Fabien, traveling
on the curtain.
For your Stop Stress,
there's no film or animation.
-Don't worry.
-OK. It's good.
Wait. Your girls are waiting for
the signal to open the curtain.
-Did you tell them?
-It's done.
Camera One is ready.
We're setting scene No. 3.
OK.
-Mr. Berrier, scientist.
-Hello and welcome.
-Hello, Estelle. Pleasure.
-I don't usually do this.
-Don't worry.
-Sit over here.
In the pink armchair.
Don't worry.
Just be yourself.
Welcome.
I'll let you speak
at some point.
First, we'll do
our little shtick.
-Shall we start right away?
-Don't worry.
-A little word...
-I'll let you speak.
-Over to you!
-To finish off in style,
we'll present to you
an absolutely fabulous object.
Its properties are unique,
and I'll ask Mr. Berrier...
How are you?
Mr. Berrier, an engineer,
will explain to us
how this object works.
I would also ask
Estelle to help me.
But why Estelle?
Well, ladies,
because this product is mainly
targeted towards women.
It's a cellulite tracker.
She's not supposed to say that.
Yes. For the first time ever,
the Cellulite Tracker
will detect in your body the
slightest trace of cellulite.
And in the easiest possible way.
-Let me through.
-Out!
We'll demonstrate it for you.
Follow me.
We asked Agnès to help us,
and she gladly agreed
to use the product.
-Hello, Agnès.
-Hello.
And welcome to the set.
Tell us how it works.
It's very simple.
You take the Tracker
and turn it on by pushing the
button, like on a flashlight.
You can see
that the blue light went on.
But if I place the Tracker
near my knee,
the light turns red.
-There too, on the thigh.
-Incredible.
But if I place the Tracker
on my forehead...
...nothing.
Thank you very much, Agnès.
Obviously, you can say
that Agnès is a little chubby
and that even without
the Cellulite Tracker,
she could find
the problem areas.
But let's not forget
there is also hidden cellulite.
Even for me, and although
people say I'm thin,
I am also a victim of cellulite.
Can we have a close-up of this?
Look closely.
I don't have any here.
No. No... Yes.
There. You see? Look.
Behind the thigh, the buttock,
an area where I thought I didn't
have any cellulite...
And yet, there is.
-Thanks to this crackling...
-No!
There's crackling at times,
but not necessarily
where there's cellulite.
Maybe it's the batteries.
Of course.
The Cellulite Tracker works
on AC or DC.
Since you're
a certified engineer,
maybe you can try to explain
why it crackles,
and especially explain why this
unit, this Cellulite Tracker,
can detect so reliably
the horrors of cellulitis,
a condition we abhor.
Yes, it's very simple.
This unit,
when it's ready to work,
-emits magnetic waves.
-Magnetic waves.
Magnetic waves have
special characteristics.
When you have "plus"
and "negative" poles,
they attract each other.
But in the presence
of identical poles,
"plus -plus,"
"negative -negative,"
-they repel each other.
-OK.
The magnetic waves enable
the Cellulite Tracker
to detect and track cellulite
thanks to its magnetic waves.
"Plus" or "minus," they attract
or repel each other.
It creates color.
Christ! Where are the contracts?
Your copies were sent yesterday,
ours are at the lawyer's.
But I can send you a copy.
So there's no need
to make a mess!
Let me remind you again of this
morning's special offer:
our Cellulite Tracker and
AntiFat Cream for 90 euros.
-And if more than 3,000...
-We'll throw in a 100-mL jar.
Why don't you take off
your jacket, Mr. Berrier?
Mr. Berrier also needs
our AntiFat Cream.
Listen, thank you.
You see, ladies, men too
-can be cellulite victims.
-Nono! Come here!
4,500 have already called.
That's good. Keep going.
I hope you enjoyed watching.
I know we had fun.
Congratulations and take care.
-Let the credits roll!
-See you tomorrow!
Don't play with
the extinguishers!
What if a fire breaks out?
How do you plan to change the
boxes and the instructions?
We know a friendly printer
who worked on the box stickers,
and in the package insert,
we'll alter
the on/off instructions.
It'll be good!
I'm gonna leave.
I thought it was boring.
Boring.
I don't know how you do it.
You OK?
Can you tell me what it is?
I was so busy.
I didn't watch the ad.
It's a thawing board.
It's a pure, magical material.
Somehow,
it makes frozen foods fresh.
Really?
What's it made from?
Actually, we don't know.
The inventor wouldn't reveal
his secret.
I tried to contact him,
of course.
But he lives far away,
somewhere...
I'll go visit him
when we sell the company.
Yes. I'll come with you.
If you're still
interested in me.
You'll come with me?
If I'm still interested in you?
The Double Contract means two.
Two means there's a couple.
It's not how quickly you do it.
The knife has to cut.
-You made a knot, Olivier.
-To prove it's wrinkle-free.
And I'd like to add that
it's a very hygienic hanger.
What's inside?
Translation: TV5 Québec Canada