Foxwood (2017) - full transcript

- Claire Evans?

- My God, I'm so sorry I'm late.

- I was beginning to
think you stood me up.

- No, I would never.

I'm sorry.

- You're sorry?

I'm totally kidding.

Sorry, have a seat.

I guess, so we have a formal
introduction, I'm Nick.

- Nice to finally meet you.

- Nice to finally meet you.
- Yeah.



- I wouldn't usually say this

so early in the night Claire but,

you are just as beautiful
as your profile pictures.

- Really.

- There's no filters, no Photoshop.

Just you.

- Well thank you.

You're not so bad yourself.

No, nope.

- Come on Claire,
let's have some fun?

Come on.

Claire, come on.

- Okay, okay, okay, okay, all right.

- To, a killer night.



You good?

- Yeah.

- Nice place.

- You should see the inside.

No, take off your shirt.

Hold on, I need a minute.

- Claire?

Shit, shit, shit, shit.

- What's the matter?

- There's a fucking dead chick in there.

you met Liz.

Well she went by Elizabeth,
but to me she was Liz.

God, that is such a nice shirt.

Take it off.

- What?

- Take off your shirt.

- Why?

- You're gonna get blood all over it.

- I thought you
wanted to have some fun.

- God.

Help!

- Okay, okay.

God, God!

Okay, okay.

Shit!

Nicky.

- Get away from me please!

- It's over Nick.

Just let it happen.

- No, I'll stab you,
I swear to God I will.

- Yeah?

Do it then, come on, really go for it.

Show me what you got.

Come on, really give it to me.

- No, get back!

- Yeah, you've made your choice.

- Just let me go, please, please?

- Know what it's gonna be, you or me?

- Please, just let me go.

- Come on Nick, bury
it right into my head.

Right into my fucking head.

- I have a family, please just let me go!

- Come on, right here,
yeah, yeah, come on Nick!

You ready to do it Nick?

Fucking do it!

Gee, let me go Liz!

- Experience concluded.

Your level of completion is, amateur.

Thank you for visiting Foxwood,
the premier Terror Park.

Goodbye.

- God, son of a bitch!

- My God, I'm so sorry!

- Don't fucking touch me.

- I didn't expect someone else

to come at me like that.

- Did you even read the
terms and conditions?

Anything and everything but killing you,

come on man.

- Relax, he was just scared.

- We have that shit in the
sign offs for a reason.

- Did you really just think

I was gonna just chase
you around all night?

- I don't know.

- All right, let's get you dressed.

There's a car waiting for you outside.

Feel free to visit the
gift shop on your way out.

They'll have full video
of your experience.

We upgraded to blue, right?

- Cool, I always wanted to watch myself

cry in high definition.

Would you maybe wanna
do this again sometime?

- Yeah, I'd love to, but,

you'd probably have to
wait 10 days you know,

for a fresher experience.

- No I mean like, an actual date.

- Um, yeah, I don't
know if that's a good idea.

This is, this is an important job to me

and I already bent enough rules
with the drinking and the--

- I get it.

Merry Christmas.

- Same to you.

- I got to go.
- Hey.

I'll see you next time.

- You know, for what it's worth,
I actually kinda liked him?

- Me too.

Foxwood first though.

- Foxwood first.

Now, let's get that turnaround going.

We had a sorority book last minute.

They are quote, not scared of anything.

- Okay, we'll see about that.

- Killer clowns?
- Perfect.

- House 23 with the werewolf bit.

- I wanna be a werewolf!

- You?

I don't know if I see that.

- I would be a great werewolf.

- I think you'd be fabulous.

You'd be very cute and everyone

would be very charmed by you.

- I am fierce, I have a bite!

- You're terrifying.

You're the scariest little
muffin I've ever seen.