Forest for the Trees (2021) - full transcript

So, I've been thinking about this project

for about 20 years.

And we're out near
Prince George right now

in central - north central
British Columbia

which happens to be the last place

that I planted trees.

And, I mean, I have had
nightmares about tree planting,

probably about every six months
for the last 20 years.

And so, it's obviously something

that has never left me.

Tree planting also has been uh...



an enormously useful training

for so many things in my life.

I became a documentary photographer.

I've photographed and worked in

a lot of really super
challenging situations.

I mean, I walked four days
through the mountains

to Iraq in 2003.

The tree planting was probably
very good training

for doing that.

What is the difference between
the memory of something

and the actual reality of something?

And I think that's why
I wanted to revisit it.

But, you know, physically,

it really takes an enormous toll.



Yeah, so I thought, you know,
if I don't do this now

I'm never gonna do it.

I wanna do a good job for the people

who are agreeing to be part
of the project

and that's always a huge part

of any kind of documentary thing

is that you feel, okay,
now people have said yes,

we welcome you into our world.

You know, and I realize,

well, we're, you know, being welcomed,

but we are outsiders, definitely,

and so, I really want to do
a good job for them.

So now I'm coming back
and I'm meeting people

in these different phases of life

and talking to them.

And like, I started tree
planning when I was 20

and I planted until I was 30,

and I changed enormously

as an individual over that time

in terms of feeling connected

to a... community,

or feeling connected to the land,

or wanting to work hard with your body,

or falling in love.

And I just find different
people within this community

who can speak to those different ideas

and bring them together.

Nobody come to see this landscape.

We are the, the people
that spend the time here

in this kind of land for hours
and hours and hours every day.

So, we are the landscape.

Two trucks going up

at Farwell Canyon.

Logger goin' down 25.

You guys can keep on coming.

Living in this little
like micro community

and like getting to know each other

and like all contributing
and working together

to be like a functioning
little community.

And we all work together,

we all like feel each other's pain.

We all know what the other
one's going through.

And like, yeah.

Spark's like,
"I can do this!"

Get him, Spark!
You got this!

Convoy goin' up
Farwell Canyon Road at 50.

Makes you appreciate company.

We spend lots of time by
ourself here in the block,

for 8-9 hours a day.

And after, we are in this kind
of commune,

or this group of...
tribal commune almost.

And I find that's really important,

the subculture in camp
together, be together.

Like a subculture's defined
by a language,

which we have, we have our own language.

You know, we speak,

we have some words that are...

related just to this job.

So yeah, I speak French,
English, Spanish and German,

and then um...

can read a bit of Catalan and...

On the topic of languages,

we were thinking about how uh...

I know tree planting has evolved

its own cache of words.

A cut block is big, a big area
in a planter's mind, right,

and where planters have
to go back in and plant.

The block has all this kind of power

and connotations around it, you know?

Like a tough day on the block,
big day on the block.

Bag up - you put all the trees,
all the seedlings

that you're taking in your bags

and you go in, you plant,
and that's one bag up.

Your cache is where your trees are,

so every time you finish your bag up,

you gotta go back to your cache.

"Darts" for cigarettes.

When you're at the cache,
you realize that

there's nicer things in life
than tree planting.

You know, you have a dart
at your cache break, you know.

So you have a little cache
party - cache bash.

And you don't wanna cache bash that much

'cause you'll, you'll waste a lot of time

and you won't make as much money.

Oh, the shitters, that's where we shit.

We dig holes in the ground and um...

you shit there
while you're at that campsite

and then you fill it in.

There was an old word
back in the logging days

when the guy who cut down the
most trees was a high baller,

and so the planting industry
kind of adopted that term.

And so, usually,
I think in a lot of camps,

there's a mystique around being
the high baller, you know.

Everyone wants to emulate them,
do what they...

you know, do what they do.

They'll see what they pack
in their lunch, you know?

Like what they do with the
cache, that kind of thing.

Wow! Really?
There's no one else here

that planted more trees than me?

Tree planting is tough.

Actually, if you can endure
tree planting,

there is not any job,
in a town, you will not do.

Hey, man, how was your first year?

- Uh, my first year was shitty.
- Oh my gosh, yeah.

It was not good, because...

I cried.

People were teaching me
how to do tree planting.

They were so fast,
so I try to be like them.

How about yours?

First year? Oh man,
I was terrible.

I was an awful rooky -

slow, plodding, didn't care what I hit.

I was probably the third worst
in probably the camp.

So how did you become
a good planter then?

My first year someone told me
how to plant a lot of trees

and I hated him for it,

because all he told me to do was go fast.

That was his advice
and I hate him for it,

but he was so damn right.

Don't slow down, just go fast.

- Yeah.
- But that doesn't take

a little amount of practice,
that takes a lot of work.

This is Sally,
who we've been photographing

for the last maybe hour or so.

Uh, she's a pounder.
I think she's at like 8...

She just put in 1800 trees

and it's only 4:00,

and it's pretty tough land
as you can see.

And, uh, there she goes.
Awesome.

Everyone keeps telling me
it's going to get easier.

I'm still waiting for that day.

Yeah, it's been a struggle.

You start getting into what
you think is a good rhythm,

and maybe it seems like
it's going really well,

and then suddenly you start hitting rocks

and that's when things start
to fall apart -

when it's not like quick and easy

to figure out where to put the shovel.

And I definitely seem to be
able to find all the rocks

and all the bad spots so.

Um, then, once that happens,

it's like it just starts
to derail, I guess.

Yeah, I mean it could be
worse. That's always the...

that's always the key.
- Yeah.

It could be worse.

The, uh, the bugs are having
a good day though.

Yeah, they're havin' a ballin' day.

You're just planting along

and you have this constant
like bzz-bzz-bzz-bzz.

- Oh yeah, Deet. Powerful.
- Feels good.

Yeah, it's been...

I think it's one of the hardest
things I've done.

And I just remember sitting in the truck

thinking, like, "What have I done?

What have I gotten myself into?"

I was just like,
"I just wanna go home."

Hasn't even started yet
and you're like, "I'm done!"

It'd be like a two-hour truck ride

and the camp friends talking to me.

I'm just there like,
"I just need to go home.

Like I can't be here."
- The question is,

are you coming back?
Both:

Oh yeah, so it's pretty funny.

Like when I came back

like the first thing that
a lot of people said was,

"I can't believe you're back,"

and you know,
"Why would you come back?"

And in the off season, I don't know,

you kind of forget about
all the bad things

and start remembering all the good.

And even the bad things
kind of become funny.

So, in this season,
I've gotten, I've gotten tendo,

second degree burns
on over 20% of my body,

back spasms so bad
that my leg is jerking,

and my hip chafe has become infected.

I kind of felt like I had to
come back and do it again

and do it a better way
than I did last year.

So it's kind of like I had
to redeem myself.

And then also I, you know,
need to pay rent.

A lot of people don't really
understand what planting is.

In my first year,
when I planted 700 trees,

I told my Dad,
like I called him on a day off,

and he was like, "Oh my God,
like that's amazing!"

It's like, "No, like that's not
even minimum wage."

And, you know, he goes,

"There's no way you could plant
more than 700 trees."

And it's like,
"Well, I have to."

Last year I was worst planter.

This year I'm the most mediocre planter.

Definitely been balled by some
rookies this year, which hurt,

'cause I thought I was gonna come back

and just plant 2,000 trees
right off the bat.

And that's obviously not
realistic to think of.

It's kind of frustrating.

It's also nice to see other
people succeed at their goals.

But it definitely sucks
when you get balled by people

who have been planting
for like a couple of weeks

and they're already better than you.

But I'm getting there.
I'm getting better.

It's slow. I'm a slow learner,
for sure,

but it takes time, I guess.

Like this is kind of like my second year

of being a rookie, I feel like.

But I love the look on people's
faces at the end of the day

when everyone is talking about numbers

and then I just drop it in.

I'm like, "Well, I hit
the bare minimum today,"

and it kind of releases
that air of competitivity.

And it's just nice to kind of
see people's faces perk up

'cause maybe they didn't have
a good day either.

And it's like, "Well,
I get to treat myself today

'cause I did the bare minimum"
and stuff like that

and people kind of realize that
it's not the end of the world

if today you didn't have a great day.

Every time I wanna go home,

I realize that I'm not really
qualified for any, any job

that pays above minimum wage.

I count my numbers at the end of the day

and I realize I made more
than minimum wage.

So it's...
it might feel like I suck,

but I'm still making more than
I would in a retail position,

and I'm outside doing it,
which is so nice.

Maybe I don't plant a lot
of trees every day,

but I'm here, I'm putting
everything I have in here.

And I don't see it as I have bad luck.

It's just I go through life
differently than other people.

And it's not always the right
path that I take,

but I get there, you know?

And I reach the same goals
that other people reach,

just on a different time scale.

I still cry a lot,

but it's definitely made me
stronger emotionally.

I definitely am able to cope with it

and kind of remember that
it's just planting.

It's not the end of the world.

And sometimes it feels that way
and it's crazy

'cause all you're doing is opening a hole

and putting a tree in.

But it's like, I think, emotionally,

one of the hardest jobs
people will ever do.

And people ask you, you know,

"Oh, are you havin' fun savin'
the planet and stuff?"

And it's like, "No."

No, I think this is gruelling

and I wanna go home most days.

Your piece is your personal slice of land

you're responsible for planting
over the next day

or several days.

You cut your piece by flagging
a boundary line into the block.

You're responsible for the quality

and density of all the trees
in your piece.

Yeah, that's a friggin'
art form - cutting a line in.

The crew has to stand there
and they'll be like,

"Start here. "And they're like,
"You see that tall tree

with like the green leaves?"

And you're like,
"I see fuckin' 500 of them."

And then they're like, "No,

but that one with like
the little red bush."

And then you're like, "Yeah,"
'cause you think you see it.

You're like,
"Yeah, yeah, I got it."

"Go towards that one,
high flag everything."

So you're like, "Yeah."

You're looking, you're flagging,

you're looking and you're flagging,

and you're looking
and suddenly you're like,

"Uh-oh, where did it go?"

- "Oh no, I lost it!"
- You got too close.

Throwing a plot is how you make sure

the trees are being planted properly.

You punch your shovel into the ground

and then you walk around in a circle

and you count the trees and...

check the trees that are in that circle.

They have to be planted perfectly

or you have to go back and fix it.

It can't be too deep.
It can't be too shallow.

It can't be in ground
that's too wet or too dry.

It's gotta be just right.

Tree planting is piecework,

paid cents per tree,

depending on the difficulty of the land.

You keep track of the number
of trees you plant

in a tally book.

It's pretty dangerous for
tree planters to come out here.

And I know that some effort is put into

making the roads safe
and accessible, but uh...

it's crazy, slippery,

dangerous, dangerous roads

just to get access to these...

these incredible remote logged areas

up in the mountains.

So the overflow is a block

that wasn't intended to be
planted that year,

but if the trees from the other
blocks don't all fit,

they will usually go to an overflow block

to finish up the contract.

Hi Rita, you gotta back up.

- Okay.
- I gotta go to the overflow.

Oh, you guys are going to the overflow.

Oh, you're kidding.

There's one word for good land,
which is cream,

and then there's a million
words for bad land.

So, shit or shwack, garbage.

Shnarb, I think, is probably
one of the most important ones.

It's like big piles of sticks and brush.

Duffy when it's all kind of like needles

and it's not real soil,

and you have to like punch through it.

A slash pile is basically when there's...

a big amalgamation of logs
that have been leftover

and weren't taken by the logging company.

And they can look quite imposing

and sometimes they can block
the entrance to your piece.

Slash is typically not
a planter's friend.

Usually, you have to climb over it,

crawl through it, push it to the side.

It stands between you and...

and moving through your land efficiently.

Screefing is when you like kick
off all the dirt and dust

on top of the ground

and get down to that sweet,
creamy mineral soil.

Welcome to the shovel show with Paddy.

They look like garden tools,
but they're not.

These shovels are weapons,

they're toys, money makers.

Go right through, right back, tree, out.

There is no hit-hit.

There's no like wiggle-wiggle
around in there

to make it bigger.

It's a huge fuckin' hole
that this thing makes.

Such a nice grip, it's incredible.

So, this is my baby.
I hardly ever use it

and no one will ever touch that

because I love that thing so much.

I love that shovel.
I love all my shovels.

You're out in the block all by yourself

and you don't see anybody all day.

All you have are your trees
and your land.

And I always thought that everyone else

was planting more than me

and going faster than me.

And that would push me
and I would just be like,

"You're too slow, you're too slow.

Everybody's ahead of you."

And I would just like work
and work and work

and at the end of the day
I would feel like

I had just fucking blown it
and I was a complete loser.

And then I would go home
or get on the bus

and find out that, you know, not only...

like maybe I'd even highballed the camp.

And it's a strange kind
of motivating thing,

the sense that you're never, you're no...

you're never doing good enough.

So there's always the sense of urgency

and you always have in your gut
this kind of feeling

that you have to work harder and better,

and you have to be more
prepared for every moment,

and it's one tree at a time -

you keep going regardless
of feeling discouraged.

You just can't let yourself
think about that.

It's just the next thing,
plant the next tree.

And at the end of the day,
you've planted all your bags,

you've filled in some land,
you've made some money

and you know, you plant trees
for ten years

and you've planted a forest.

There are so many powerful
women here that just do it

and they rock it, and like they highball,

and no one can argue with that.

Like you can't take that away from us.

And I think that that's really important

because I think you'll go a lot
of places in the real world

and they'll be like, "Oh,
she's only given an opportunity

because she's a woman."

But here, it's like women excel
and we're everywhere.

We're in management, we're like planters,

we're deliverers, we're checkers

and we're just killin' it
all around and it's ours.

- The camp needs us.
- Yeah, absolutely.

Like I think we really...
yeah, we're needed.

We're cowgirls.
Like we literally are.

We're doing a job that for so long

has just been dominated by men.

And I think like the fact
that my crew and your crew's

just predominantly women,
it's so special,

and we can talk about whatever we want.

Like we relate to each other so easily

simply because we have the equal struggle

of like being a woman,
and like that's pretty freeing.

- 70 percent pine.
- Ewww!

- 20 percent spruce.
- Woo!

10 percent fir.

Ooooh.

♪ The sun breaks
and I can't wait ♪

♪ 'Til I'll be on my way again ♪

♪ I'm sick and tired
of waiting ♪

♪ With nothing to do ♪

♪ Watching the rain through
a crack in the window ♪

♪ It's the little things
get you through ♪

♪ Like the same sun rising
on me ♪

♪ Is rising over you ♪

♪ Oh-oh-oh walking
and talking ♪

♪ Like birds in the sky ♪

♪ You tell your secrets ♪

♪ How gracefully you lie ♪

♪ Oh-oh-oh ♪

♪ That's the way
you come to me ♪

♪ I'm head over heels ♪

♪ And I'm always gonna be ♪

♪ That's okay, ♪

♪ I love the way you
come to me ♪

I mean, the first three days were...

yeah, I cried.
I cried a lot.

It was usually, you know,
after they would leave,

Um, it was just like, fuck,

I, I, I had no idea how

we we're gonna have dinner
ready for tonight,

let alone how I'm gonna be able
to do this

for the entire season.
It was, it was crazy.

I think the biggest thing
from the get-go is the volume.

That's, that's what you figure out first.

Um, 'cause tree planters...

so say you're cooking for 91 people,

but you're not cooking for 91 people.

You're closer, you're cooking
for more like 200.

Um, tree planters eat

at least twice the amount

as your average person,

and getting used to that
was the biggest thing.

Uh, so, I mean, the first,
the first week,

yeah, I would go to bed and just...

just lay there in the dark

and just like really...

I really wasn't, really wasn't sure

if I was gonna be able to do it.

I really, I really didn't,
I really wasn't sure.

And I, I would usually...
usually cry once at night

and then once again in the morning.

Me and Graham would just look
at each other and...

just put my head in my hands
and be like, "Holy fuck.

What just happened?"

This whole job is mountains and valleys.

It's an emotional roller coaster.

You know, you just push
through, you just push.

You just, you just focus on
that, that next hour,

that next minute, whatever you're doing,

that one task.

One at a time, one step at a time.

So I'm a registered nurse.

I am sort of like a first aid
attendant in camp.

My job is a lot of basically tending to

any planting injury or wound
that comes in the door.

I'm sort of the person that
people come to see about it

and I do my best to deal with it.

It's a lot of physio taping

and lot of wounds,

open wounds.
Like a lot of wounds.

A lot of Polysporin
and a lot of bandaging.

It gets pretty nasty.

And tree planters are definitely like...

a special, special,

resilient, like gritty bunch of people.

You really have to...

learn to respect and trust your body,

and you have to take care of yourself.

Tree planting is like a combination

between industrial labour
and extreme sports.

A lot of people get really
frustrated, I think,

when they're injured
and their body isn't doing,

quite what they want it to do.

And so, I think that's where
that frustration

and just the hate comes in.

And like I think it's just a...

a lesson in self-respect.

People want to challenge themselves,

challenge their bodies,
and so they push themselves.

And it's insanity

and, um,

self, self-loathing maybe.

It's definitely a struggle
for a lot of people.

It's like a love-hate relationship

because your body's your tool.

You're using it to make money,
but - and do your job -

but sometimes it's fighting
against you out there.

This is a job that hurts

and no one's making you be here.

So, you have to like it a little bit.

People say all the time, like
you can't be a tree planter

unless you kind of like pain.

There's this kind of idea around, um,

like planting without gloves
is more hardcore,

and like that kind of pain,
like people like that.

Like when you get really cut up

you're kind of proud of it.

It can be healthy
and it cannot be healthy.

I think that also comes
with knowing your body,

knowing when something hurts too much.

There's a difference between
being in pain

and hitting your limit.

That's like something that rookies

have to learn really fast,

because then you get injured.

You have to know what kind of
pain that your body can take.

Well, I started self-harming
when I was pretty young

for about ten years.

It kinda peaked when I was 16 or 17.

Everything is so overwhelming

that you feel like you have
no other way of doing things.

I didn't really think of it
as a problem at the time

because I was always really functional.

I was always working really hard.

And if you didn't know me
it wouldn't look like

there was very much
that was wrong with me,

which is ridiculous.

It took me a long time to get
comfortable wearing a t-shirt.

People don't really know how to react.

Um, people usually don't ask me about it

because people usually don't know how.

And I was diagnosed with
borderline personality disorder

around that time,

which is definitely interesting
to have planting.

Because everyone talks about
the highs and lows of planting,

how one of the things that they like

and they find really refreshing
is like you see everyone

at every point in their day
and in their life,

like their highest highs
and their lowest lows.

And that's not something that
they get anywhere else,

whereas, for me, I feel that every day,

it doesn't matter where I am.

For people who deal with
depression and anxiety,

like problems feel so big and vague.

Sometimes it's easy for small problems

to feel like the end of the world.

And tree planting is, I think,
really good for that

because your problems
are right in front of you.

Okay, the land is bad.
Okay, there's a lot of slash.

Okay, my bags are heavy.

Like all of your problems are so...

I don't wanna say easy to deal with,

but they're right in front of you

and, at the end of the day, they're gone.

And I think that's almost
refreshing for people

whose problems never go away

is you get to finish a day and it was...

even if it was really hard

and even if you had the worst day ever,

it ends.

For, I think for any young person

spending eight plus hours a day

every single day for months

in your own head can be very valuable.

Um, I think we live in an environment

that's so fast paced,

and so overwhelming

that we don't get to think
a lot about like our lives.

In your twenties, like you don't know

what the fuck is going on.

Like everyone is so confused all the time

and I think everyone pretends
to know what they're doing

and tells people they know
what they're doing,

but like nobody knows what they're doing.

You don't know what you're doing.

You just hope that it works out.

Tree planting has definitely made me

a more interesting person

and a better person

because you just have so much time

to think about the things
that you're doing,

and I don't think a lot
of people get that time.

My first year of planting was 1985.

I'm 60 years old...

and uh...

I'm starting to slow down a bit.

My knees are starting to hurt
more than they used to.

I'm in my third season.
My first season was 2014.

Uh, the old man brought me out.

Yeah.

The hardest thing about
working with him is...

that he's got like an expectation for you

that more than anyone else

you want to actually live up to.

But at the same time it can also be very,

very frustrating,

like especially when I was starting out.

Like there were times
when I probably wanted

to throw my shovel at him, but...

just kept going.

This is a pretty meditative job.

You learn how to empty out your mind,

and then, if you achieve that,

you can experience a great deal
of peace and quiet.

There's just a joy to it.

Pretty much every major life
decision that we've made

we've made like partner planting...

- Yeah.
- In the land.

Like pretty much our whole relationship

has been like around tree planting,

so...
- Yeah.

Like the first day of the semester,

like we're in the same class

and I just like see her in the classroom.

And I was just like,

"Who is this person?"
It's the most beautiful girl

I've ever seen in my entire life.

And then I couldn't stop
staring every day.

And I thought like I definitely
knew I was being creepy,

but I thought that maybe

I was being kind of like secret
about it...

- Definitely not.
- But like 100 percent wasn't.

- It was not discreet.
- No.

I like sold all my stuff.
I didn't wanna plant anymore.

I like "retired."

But um, she wanted to plant, so
I bought all new stuff again...

and made my way out back to the bush.

- Yeah. That was pretty nice.
- Yeah.

Well, when I first started
getting to know Sally,

she wouldn't stop talking about
tree planting all the time.

As you do.
As tree planters do.

So much, and then she went tree planting

and I went and I did my own
thing for the summer.

And then I just thought -

like seeing all the pictures
and hearing even more stories -

I'm like I have to try this.

It's funny how planting noise
like helps us kinda help...

well, it definitely helps us
build our lives together.

It definitely built
our relationship together.

It exists because of tree planting.

It's such a nice time to just
be working side by side.

Yeah.

It's worked out pretty well
for us so far.

Yeah, it's worked out really well.

One of the reasons we wanted
to come tree planting

was 'cause it's a job
that we get to work together

all day, all the time,

and we partner plant together.
- Yeah.

Somehow we're still not sick
of each other...

but we do it every day.

- Yeah.
- It's really fun.

It makes it so fun.

Yeah, even just having
someone on the land with you

is so much better.
- Mm-hmm.

Just, I don't know, even if
you're having a bad day,

they can actually like talk to you.

Riley has like...

reasons to be like sad

or, I don't know, a grump,

but he's like the most happy
go-lucky person I've ever met,

and I just love him.
- Mm.

And I'm gonna cry if I say anymore,

so I'm not gonna say anymore.

I have my own stress on me

trying to do better in my second season,

and I also like carry her
stress with me too.

And I can see her when
she walks through the land

and I, I'm just like,
"Uh-oh, like that's not...

she's not having a good day."

- I can just see it.
- Yeah.

Like you've seen every...
every emotion of mine

and it probably first came out planting.

- Yeah.
- Like you've seen my very ups

and very downs and very middles

like... I guess.
- Yeah.

I don't know, we're really good for

if one person is feeling really upset,

the other person will kind
of be extra positive

to try to calm them down.

But then sometimes it works against us.

If one person's upset, the
other person also gets upset

and then we're both just like, "Agh!

We're so upset right now."

Sometimes you just...
we'll just both be pissed

and we'll just like go
and plant our separate ways

and that'll be that.
- And then reunite.

Like the same as being by yourself,

like sometimes there's just
nothing you can do

and it's just a rough day.

And really picking yourself
back up is just...

- We're like...
- if it's really something...

If it's really something, yeah,

which usually happens because
we're both just over-tired,

over-stressed,

like working ourselves
too hard, and then we're like,

"All right, we're talking
about this right now

in the middle of the land.
Like drop your shovels

'cause we're talking
about this right now.

I still... I dunno,

I still really like it a lot.
- Yeah.

- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah.

I, I feel like I know you a lot better.

And, I dunno, I feel like
it's made our relationship

better too and stronger.
- I think so, for sure. Yeah.

- Yeah.
- I think planting can make

or break relationships, definitely.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

Well, I'm glad that it's making it

- for two seasons so far.
- Yeah. Me too.

Yeah.

Went on my first year of planting -

I had a girlfriend at the time

and I used to like press flowers.

Like I'd flatten them and
they'd dry out in my tally book

and then eventually
I'd like take them out,

and put them in an envelope
and send them back home

- or send them back to her.
- So cute.

But uh... no, anyways,
we broke up last year.

So, I don't know why,

but I started taking
to squishing bugs instead...

In my tally book.

This year I got a little, uh,

like a little film canister,

and then I started killing horseflies

and putting them in there.

And then maybe one day I'll
give it to the girl I love.

♪ It seems like yesterday ♪

♪ We're jumping off
bales of hay ♪

♪ Down by the fireside ♪

♪ Just watching the leaves
blow by ♪

♪ It sounds a lot better ♪

♪ Than our love slippin' away ♪

So, last year at the end of the season,

uh, yeah, my heart was very broken,

and I really didn't know how
I was gonna like continue.

Like I really thought about leaving.

And then I just had like
this realization:

why the fuck should I leave?

'Cause, at first, I was just too sad

and I couldn't really...

just channel it into planting.

And then I just like kind of raged out,

but like in a more healthy way.

Like it was just planting.
- Okay.

The rage plant.

I was gonna be single for the first time

and I was scared, really scared.

But I think that that's...

I was too in my comfort zone
in that relationship.

And although he was an amazing boy

and I'll always love him,

I... It wasn't good anymore

and we both needed to move on and we did.

And I... like I feel

more myself than ever before.

I just felt so motivated.

The heartbreak just seemed nothing

in comparison to like all the things

I had in front of me.

Sometimes emotions are good
catalysts for things.

- This is very true.
- Yeah.

So, um, I guess there's
kind of like two versions

of the why I keep tree planting

or why I started tree planting story.

The first one was that my boyfriend

went tree planting one year
and, uh, he had a lot of fun,

so I decided to go the second year.

And kind of the second reason is that -

the second version of that story is that

that year that he came back
from tree planting,

I got diagnosed with bipolar disorder

and was like having a really rough time.

Like I had a huge breakdown

and was having a really rough time

and just like needed to do something

radically different with my life.

I needed to like do some,

I needed to do something really hard

that was gonna like make me
feel a lot better.

So I went tree planting

and for the first month,

I thought this is the biggest mistake

I ever made in my entire life.

And like I don't know why like I would...

why anyone would choose
to do this to themselves,

this is horrible.
And then the second month,

I like pretty much every one
of my symptoms disappeared

and like, just from like,
you know, the constant exercise

and like being out in the woods

and feeling like...
breathing good air

and like just the healing power of nature

was very strong with me

the second month of tree planting.

I have such a very specific
Indigenous experience.

I have status, but I'm mixed race

and I'm from, um,
I'm from the city centre.

I didn't grow up on the Rez.
I'm from Toronto and...

thank you. Like wela'liek

to like all of the Nations
whose land I've been

like reforesting this whole time too,

because I'm not in Mi'kmaq
territory at all.

And I think it's probably pretty ironic

that this Mi'kmaq kid

who's been tapping into
like being Mi'kmaq

all the way on the frickin'
west coast, you know,

getting covered in west coast dirt.

Planting even at its worst, for me,

like the trees that are going
in the ground

are contributing to a kind of ecology.

It's not like the forest
that was there before,

but it's not nothing and uh,

and it feels like a kind of healing.

And you can't plant a tree

without believing in the future.

You can't plant a tree without
believing that there's uh...

there's gonna be...
there's gonna be time

for the tree to grow.

I really don't think that anyone

who has any kind of like
empathy for the earth

as a living thing, um,

and empathy for other living
things on the planet

can come to a cut block

and not be overwhelmed by emotion

and like feel a kind of,
like a real kind of grief

by just seeing the reality

of what the devastation looks like.

Just something terrible
has happened to it.

Uh, there's, there's nothing
that I can do.

Like I can't go back in time and fix it.

But I've got a shovel,
you know? Like there's like...

and sometimes that's
the only thing you can do.

So, um...

Yeah. So I can just plant
good trees.

I think we're used to seeing the forest

as something that is tranquil
and inviting

and beautiful, lush.

Here we are in a burnt forest.

It's midnight

and it doesn't get dark out
till really 10:30.

Yeah, it's a little bit scary, but uh...

you know, because there...
there can be cougars,

there can be bears.

I think we're,

we're a bit afraid coming
into the forest.

It's scary.

And uh... tree planters,

a lot of their life happens in the day

and that's the stuff
that we see photographed.

That's like the portraits
I've been photographing.

But at night you live in a tent

and you live in...

very close to the forest, in the forest.

And it is scary and there's
this sort of fantasy idea

that forests are these
like friendly places

that people go for forest bathing.

I think, well, yes, there's definitely

something therapeutic
about being in a forest,

but most people never see

or experience anything like this,

let alone photograph it.

So we are showing part of the devastation

of the forest from the fires,

and that's, that's a really big
part of the story

and it's not how people imagine
seeing the forest.

I am just so preoccupied with logistics.

Like all I do is shoot
and think about shooting

and sleep and eat,
and it's just making it happen.

When you get it, it is like,
it is like a fucking miracle.

It's unbelievable.

I mean it's kind of depressing

because it's, it's almost
the only thing in life

that really makes me happy -

a successful photograph
that was hard to get.

We got fire!

The night now washes over the city,

like the breath of your mother

when she leaned down
to kiss you goodnight,

back when you thought that maybe

there was something in this world

that you could learn.

And underground, things are coming alive

and one of those things can be you,

and you're not alone.

I promise.

And you know, like,
and they say in AA, right,

to believe in a God,

and for me, when I was in it,

I always believed that G-O-D
was like the great outdoors.

And that was my...

that was my higher being,

that was my thing to relate to was...

You know, that was my God
was the great outdoors.

Well, I guess I started tree planting

as a way of running away, I guess,

from bad friends and bad situations.

Honestly, it's been uh...

I'm pretty sure it saved
my life for sure, in a sense,

because I had a bad history with drugs

for at least six years.

And uh, yeah, like I, I dunno,

We used to do intravenous, I guess,

you would like to call it.

A little stage fright
right now. Sorry.

Tree planting - everything -
has made me who I am today

and I'm...

uh, you know,
I'm happy to say that I'm...

I like who I am today
and I'm very proud of myself.

Hear that, Mom?

Do you think tree
planting is an addiction?

Tree planting is a huge
addiction for sure.

I totally just swapped heroin
for this, for sure.

Oh my God, there's nothing like this.

I'm like, you'll never find
a job like this.

Oh my God.

It's a good question.

You get to really...
bond with people

that you never thought
you would bond with.

It helped me get through
my, my own struggles

and realize that, you know,

there's more to life than drugs

and other things like that,

and that the love of people is out there.

Everyone cares about each
other, you know.

When you're out doing this kind of stuff,

people really care about each other.

And that's a... I think that
really spoke a lot to me

when I was getting through my addiction.

How does it feel so far?

Oh, you started?
Both:

No, it actually doesn't hurt at all.

- Wow! Have you started?
- Funny kid.

It feels good.

- Super.
- Yeah.

And I took that photo
that's inspired the tattoo

last season.

It was a really beautiful treeline

in this, in this camp we were at.

And I had the photo all year.

I kept looking at it and I...

I kinda, I knew right away
where I'd want it.

♪ Mixer on a Friday night ♪

♪ Some pretty girls
and guys are here ♪

♪ The things I have
I don't need ♪

♪ And the things I want... ♪

It's a tree planting tattoo.

Oh, is it a, is it a picture of...

Ernest. Yeah, you can see
his little bent ears.

♪ What is it that makes me
feel this way ♪

♪ It's not so easy to make ♪

♪ All of my problems go away ♪

♪ Then again,
what else is there ♪

♪ Another life,
some other way ♪

♪ I really don't know
what you need ♪

♪ I'm really trying to find ♪

♪ That way ♪

Wow...

Wow!

Holy crap!
Like look at it that way.

Ten is a big one.

Happy Sober Day.

Okay. Oh my God,
look at that cake!

Oh... oh...

Aw, there you go, Honey.

Oh my God, it's so beautiful.

You get to make a wish.

Mm...

okay.

I mean, of course, I have
almost 11 years, right,

but we're doing this for the film, so.

For the first ten years
that I tried to get sober,

I never...

never believed that
I would get one month.

I never believed it.
Like for ten years,

I would go into meetings
and people would like,

they'd say, "Oh, everyone
with a year sober

put up their hands.

And I just thought like
that is the craziest shit.

Like I will never be that person.

I will never be that person.

So I'll tell you what I wished for.

What?

One more...

one more day of sobriety,

uh, one more tree,

and one more picture.

Awwww...

Oh...

Um, I don't know how people
are supposed to handle grief,

but uh...

it's taking, it's gonna take
some time to adjust for sure.

You know, crying every day so far

since I've lost him, but uh...

yeah, it's been uh...

I don't know what else to say.
He's uh...

I miss that guy. He was my...

he was my better half for sure.

He was the better half of me.

Uh, I took...
I took his collar

'cause, uh, I knew he was
excited about this year.

So I took his collar
after he died and uh...

I just told him that he'd be with me

the rest of the year.

I don't know. I just...

it's just a nice reminder

that he'll always be there with me

and, uh, that I don't forget about him

'cause he definitely made
this job a lot easier.

It's a very hard day that day.

Agh!

After getting up
from being sick at 3:30,

um...

played for a while.

We played for a great time
actually together.

And, uh, that day was by far
the first day

of this whole year
that I spent the most time

and paid the most attention to him.

I split my whole food bowl
with him at the cache.

I split all my food
and we just played and slept,

and uh, it was by far the best
day we had that year,

and I, and to go out on a note
like that was a good one,

um, but a very sad one.

I definitely feel his presence
now missing.

And uh, a lot of time I just
get to the back of my piece

and I just start crying.

I just, I just feel.

I just let myself feel

and remember the good times with Ernest.

And I mean it makes me cry now, but...

um... one of these days,

it'll turn into a lot more
smiles than cries.

Well, I'm Meaghan.

This is my younger brother Thomas.

And I started planting
a year before he did.

Uh, I suppose I was the bad influence

and brought him out here.

Our parents were maybe
slightly overwhelmed

when they first heard

that Tom was gonna come out
with me planting.

- I thought they were relieved.
- What have you done?!

"Thank God Tom is going out there.

Now Meg won't be out there

making all these crazy
decisions."

- That's true.
- No.

We have a really good time on the land.

There's no one else
I would rather plant with.

We will not go a day
without arguing on the land.

A bag up even.

We won't go a bag up without
yelling at each other,

working it out
and then coming back from it.

We've had big conversations on the block.

We know each other so well now
and, and are...

also, you know, we see each
other all the time.

And I think that being out here
and experiencing this together

has allowed us to build
a relationship of our own

that is such a friendship

and, uh, that's awesome.

Those kind of relationships
that you can build

between people in a work
environment are very special,

but also very difficult to...

to manage at times.

Even just being out here
and being part of an activity

that allows you to constantly
be impressed by people,

be motivated, you know, encourage,

share and hold each other up.

It's really easy in this job
to find yourself jarred

in your own footsteps,

stopped, looking around going,

what am I doing and where am I,

and who am I and who are these people?

And to kind of detach yourself.

But it's so cool how...

how impressed you can be
with others and with yourself

when they just keep moving.

You just have to take it
one tree at a time.

You do. Truly.

Yesterday was our last day.

We just had a part...
part of a day to plant,

and Tom and I,

our boss knew that we were,

we were gonna wanna plant together

and go through it together,
so we were given

a tiny little piece and just a few trees.

And we went in and we just went slow

and chatted the whole time,
and we argued.

Oh yeah.

And we walked to the back

and planted our last trees of the season,

next to each other, together,

and uh...

that was really special for me and...

um...

I think I even said to you
at one point like,

thanks for...

thanks for building forests
with me or something.

That is what you said.

Yeah, and I mean it.

You're alone a lot

when you're tree planting in the field,

yet you're surrounded
by community at the same time.

So it's this,

this sort of balance of solitariness,

but knowing that you're not
alone in your solitariness.

Isn't that the human condition?

You know, alone but seeking community

or alone but needing community.

We were cooking for a minute there.

You know, I didn't want to go to my grave

without having done this
documentation of tree planting

that I've been thinking about
for more than 20 years.

And a couple of years from now,
I'll, I'll...

you know, I'll walk away
from the cut block

for the last time I'm sure.

How's the, how's the height, Liam?

My knees hurt, my back hurts,
my neck hurts.

Every day I think it's amazing

that I haven't fallen
and broken my camera,

and I won't be able to do it forever.

I feel like I'm giving back
to an experience I had

that gave me a lot
and now I'm giving back to it.

♪ You will gonna let it all go ♪

♪ I'm gonna let it all go ♪

♪ Gonna let it all go ♪

♪ This thing is happenin' ♪

♪ All right ♪

♪ This thing is happenin' ♪

♪ All night ♪

♪ Oh no, it's getting late ♪

♪ Oh, will my boss ♪

♪ Oh, you like my smile ♪

♪ I said my boss ♪

♪ Oh, you like my smile ♪

♪ That ain't love talking ♪

♪ Oh-oh the names are talking ♪

♪ Oh, they're talking, talking ♪