For a Few Dollars Less (1966) - full transcript

put your hands up all of you don't move

go on get that safe open keep your hands

up i said

do you think you can recognize anyone he

reminds me of someone

can you recall who the collector of

taxes shut up roger both the kingdom

come

where did you say kingdom come oh

don't move any of you value your lives

keep them covered joe



all right but don't anyone try to follow

oh mr black we couldn't help the black

they reckon they've done a fine job but

i'm much smarter than they think

bandits couldn't rob a piggy bank they

won't find any money in that strong box

because today it's all in the dresser

right there

every day i put in a different place and

in that way i've never been robbed of

more than trivial stuff

mr black and congratulations on behalf

of your silence you i forbid this

time-consuming and fertile manifestation



of levy right sir you're here to work

and produce tomorrow you'll have time to

celebrate an

excellent idea tomorrow we'll all be

delighted to drink your health sir i

mean

the bank's closed the local fiesta so

you get a long weekend after which i

booked the checks i mean bet the cooks

out back to your places and don't waste

time

my esteemed clients there's no cause for

alarm

rest assured the thieves never get the

better of augustus black with me your

savings are never in danger

go on get in there we picked up one of

them

i pay you men to protect my interests

not to sleep on street corners

get out and search the whole town

my friends i thought of everything

everything

fifteen twenty a quarter that closes

your account

thank you afternoon mr chef

another card this one from poor old rudy

darn shame about him yeah poor fella

afternoon

credit

now the other side

do it again

12 600. do it again

twelve thousand seven hundred i brought

on a migraine

i've lost a hundred dollars credit

finished the robbery put everything out

of my head

uh the robbery had nothing to do with it

we all make mistakes huh

i'll find it sooner or later well you

won't see us again

put um look where this come from where

it's from our last cashier rudy in san

quentin oh

very interesting the penitentiary get it

yeah

yeah i get it you gotta wake up son

they caught him one day with a deficit

of 20.39

he's serving 40 years in prison now

what's that

[Music]

where do you think all them postcards

was written

in the penitentiary

this is from allison doing time

for a mistake of only 12

then there was mcdowell for a deficit of

6.50

percy steiner

parish o'hara

[Music]

stone and then sullivan

all with mistakes are from 12 to 28

did you say they're all in jail for 40

years they sure

that's that's terrible what is the

meaning of this indolence

young man i trust you have the accounts

balanced and double checked

yes sir young man i expect an answer

at once julia they're all in order mr

black sir

i intend to go over them all personally

after the weekend

well sir

[Music]

did you hear the shooting match yes

there was a robbery at the bank there

were a hundred of them

well 50 at any rate was anyone killed

the robbers were all

armed to the teeth they bursted and

began

shooting i tell you right there in the

bank the bullets were whistling and

flying all over the place zip zip zip

i was the only one to offer resistance

you

i seized one of them by the collar and i

shook him and then i threw him to the

ground

with my cold in one hand and my

winchester in the other and a knife in

the other

unless an exaggerated but honestly my

darling

it was the greatest massacre of all time

bam bam

bam there were bullets to the right of

us bullets to the left of us i swear you

see how many were killed

and most of them aimed at me but i

wasn't afraid oh no

no with both barrels blazing bam bam bam

bam and then wouldn't you know my

ammunition had to run out

get to the point bill were there any

bodies or not oh bodies all you ever

want is bodies bodies

no there weren't oh i might have known

it in this place nobody ever bothers to

pass away

jane if your business requires a body to

put new life into it

then let me be your first dear departed

i mean

if i want to survive i'd get to get a

hold of a hundred dollars you're joking

bill i did the accounts of the bank and

i'm out a hundred dollars impossible

oh no it isn't i guess i gave a client

too much or i just mislaid it

but anyway if i can't put it back before

mr black notices i might as well start

choosing my casket

you know i'll do what i can but bill i

haven't ascend so what am i gonna do

tell me what but never mind just save me

that nice blue coffin

or would the pink one suit me better

than blue bill i've got an idea

if i were you i'd go to cousin frank ah

that's right i'm sure cousin frank's the

one to help me

he's involved in mines and railways

didn't we send our savings to him doing

that yes we did jane

no i mustn't run away jane mr black

would suspect me at once he's got his

armed guards watching every road out of

town

don't worry about that i can't help

worrying have faith in me and you'll be

all right yeah

[Music]

stop right there stranger who are you

good question

and what you got in that coffin

my first aid kid

miss jane look please don't tell my

fiance i've gone out what are you doing

public relations doesn't bill know about

it no bill must ever be told

all right i won't breathe a word to a

soul miss jane fine

on your way stranger i'm going don't

worry mister

[Music]

good luck it'll be all right

bye

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

here's the general yeah it's frank

oh frank unhand me woman this is no time

for dalliance

but frank you have to be told twice

you wait frank that's it general treat

it rough

ladies ladies

[Music]

see you later

[Music]

whiskey general not a bad idea

[Music]

me

great stuff whiskey but i prefer my own

excuse me general you busy right now

care to make up a game with us

why not

here we are it's real pleasure to have

you with us general really

the pleasure's all mine excuse me my

friends if i recommend myself to luck

before the game begins

fast i guess two

i'll open okay

cards i'll stick with these what about

you

i'm fine two cards

and i'll stick two i love a hundred

i'll up it too and i'll add 300.

not even in saratoga was a battle so

fiercely fought

i have no choice but to appeal to my

faithful mascot

[Music]

let's see i'll risk it

i've got two pairs straight

wow i've got four of a kind

but you've got you've got five

five so there are obviously a slight

lapses times when these lucky charms

don't know when to draw the

line

you played a fast time general but you

won't have time to be sorry

your mumbo jumbo mascots won't help you

this time

[Music]

but straight at my heart

[Music]

bullseye dead center and fairly scored

eh

look it's uh huh

[Music]

and the photo i trust the gentleman is

satisfied

why you won't get away

[Music]

[Music]

why it's cousin frank it's cousin bill

well it's somatic cousin frank holding

on hard times

oh yes i guess i tripped on this cat oh

you never even touched it

really what are you doing here in that

fancy dress

well i'm in a little bit of trouble and

i thought if one relation couldn't help

another

quite right quite right now what's it

all about well as you know i work as the

second assistant accountant at the bank

in silver city and yesterday

hey sheriff what are you doing posters

out of date they got him yesterday who

was a lucky guy

a bounty killer from dodge city

so i said to myself i'll go to cousin

frank he's sure to have a hundred

dollars he can advance me as dividends

on my shares in our company frank

what do you say ah me shares

i don't know what you're talking about i

sent you all my savings remember mine

and jane's to sink into your gold mines

and your railroads huh

hi has the trouble is you sent me your

funds to sink and all the railroad

bridges fell

down and the mines caved in and they

sank without a trace

but don't you worry we came out of this

business pretty well

ah so you mean we're okay that's a big

relief

yes we have understand but we don't know

anyone a bean how's that

that's a fat lot of good we haven't got

look you've got to have heart

your friend frank has plenty of irons in

the fire and plenty of bright ideas

let's have a look at you

you know the costume couldn't be better

well i'm afraid the poncho doesn't suit

my figure and the material's not too

good

still it's perfect for what i have in

mind

i tell you we'll be rolling in money so

really

anyone seen you yet i don't think so

marvelous this is my plan yeah

we arrange a couple of easy robberies

thanks a lot it's been nice knowing you

hey wait you haven't let me finish

there'll be only phony robberies no

risks attached just enough to make them

put a price on your head do what yes and

when the reward is a sum that's worth

having i'll pretend to track you down

and hand you over to the sheriff just

forget it wait to have her the best

part the sheriff will put you in jail

and then i'll collect the reward

so long and don't write me i'll write

you but i haven't finished

after that of course i help you get away

and then

we split the bounty money and no one is

any the wiser

frank i think that's terrible huh i'd

never dream of such a swindle

man

[Music]

you can start by stealing those horses

horses horses

but they're too big why don't you let me

begin with something a little bit

smaller like ducks or chickens huh

frank huh you've got to steal something

important what about the owner he might

be cross

oh the old ninja boop's quite harmless

huh well anyway i'm going to put on my

disguise that's your pistol

bill your face must be visible oh now

the charu

no i don't want it it makes me sick go

on but suppose it makes a noise

supposed to make a noise

[Music]

pull the trigger pull it

[Music]

say if i was you yes if you was

me i put down that pistol son oh but if

that's what's worrying you of course

and now we'll have a little chat go on

get inside

oh no i wouldn't disturb you i just

stopped looking at a nice view

get inside yes sir

do you told go on before i lose my

temper

i'll still show you who i am your young

farmers

thought you'd get away with it eh no but

clarity john's no fool

so there i once knew of a calamity jane

by chance a relation yes a distant

cousin oh yeah the further the better

but she ain't the only one can use a gun

oh no i'll just show you

oh bravo bravo granddad do you see all

those

they were once the most desperate

desperados

in the whole wild west and i knocked

them off one by one

and now with all the bounty money i can

live nice and comfy for the rest of my

days

and my friend said you were an old i'm

very impressed

really and i'll bet you live to be a

thousand drop that gun or your dead as a

door

frank and tie yourself will i keep the

old man covered

right so long granddad

you keep your hands up and don't put it

down until i tell you keep them up i say

or i'll blow your brains out

you're brilliant people just don't

realize how smart you are frank remember

if you value your life keep your hands

up

that'll fix him come on

keep him up come on

[Music]

goodbye catherine we see it

[Music]

uh

how much a hundred dollars not bad for a

beginner

wait and see there's a girl over there

all alone now's your chance to go and

frighten her

oh why do you expect me to frighten her

you put up a show of strength

she's stronger than we are look you've

got to drag her inside and force her to

hand over the cash

frank i'm not used to doing this sort of

thing you want to keep your job in the

bank

yes then get on with it make sure she

remembers your face come here

the cigar no no i don't let go on

enough to make your spit

[Music]

you lie down my ankle my ankle would die

i may know you're little pressure has he

got to pain

don't worry i know the perfectest way

to cure it all

oh

you're feeling better no

no oh

well yes yes but the treatment has to be

repeated

good work bill keeper abstracted while i

abstract this material

one minute frank who's talking about

abstractions there's nothing abstract

about this

[Music]

if your mother could see you now

[Music]

it's an insult two armed robberies but

only a poultry 500

reward but all i'm after is 100 it's

more than enough to settle the account

pretty generous aren't you after all

i've done to help you out all you can

think of is your miserable hundred

dollars

but i'm going to give you the other 400.

what's 400

worth these days we must go straight for

the dead or alive

but what it's the only one that pays

thanks very much but i don't want to die

but you wouldn't really have to die

ah you mean i only have to pretend to

die that's right just to jack up the

reward a few thousand dollars

oh a bank oh where no no it's just an

idea i've had

that's what we need a bank to rob a

robbery to give us publicity

a robbery yes an armed robbery yeah in a

bank yes with a cigar

yes no no the cigar makes me cough

as i was saying

i keep a lookout and you go inside but

wouldn't it be better for me to stay out

here

i don't feel the poncho's quite right

for inside the bank but out here i'm

just part of the

scenery go on

it's all yours

all right here we are hey what do you

[Music]

think

next smoking is a habit i don't tolerate

but it wasn't lit

almost closing time you come sure i do

there you are

ah afterwards sir one

and two thanks next

good afternoon i'm sorry man but there's

nothing for you today

why don't you try again tomorrow huh i

will that's right keep calling

you're next sir please sir we're closing

look i told you before the bank's about

to close

i'm sorry but i warned you

stick up your hands and hand over all

the cash you got

i'm sorry sir but the safe shot and the

manager's away

i can't open it because he's the only

one who's got the keys you see i hope

you don't mind

of course not he sounds just like mr

black thank you very much and i'll come

back another day

what do you want the drawer making give

you the high in the drawer

there's always some money in the drawer

give me the drawer give me the drawer

i'll shoot you

a good one counterfeit keep your eyes

open my good man if you don't want to

risk getting fired

ah now face the wall you file underpaid

services slave to capital go on

up with the workers down with capital

i face the wall face the wall and don't

move i say keep your hands up or i'll

fire don't turn around

one full screw when you're a dead man

now we can see the new reward

i've seen it the way they refuse to

control prices is preposterous

nothing more than an amateur the guy

isn't worth another cent

how do you like that so they reduced it

an amateur is right you bungled

everything you start by robbing a corral

and surrender the sight of an old fogey

you can't blame me for that you told me

he was fighting a firearms didn't you

you planned her ordered a senseless

widow but end up just making love to her

oh but she was like an amazon i tell you

so then you plan to rob a bank and come

out with only four dollars

yes but the others were fakes you know

what we need

what do we need a touch of carnage

ah i suppose you mean murder

sure

1920. so that's all settled

you go off to kansas city and you don't

come back for at least two weeks i

understand so that's all settled then

all right when do we bring the innocent

to the slaughter

don't be in such a hurry

well give me your hand why isn't there

anything more to do in that case goodbye

remember you gotta have the blood stains

all right ah yes

of course you got to look as bloody as a

butcher jar

todd pour it over them that's right

where do we murder the mother whether we

murder the mother

look i'm asking where we murder the

mother i don't know i'm only your tool

in bed's a good idea yes in bed but

without her husband and

aha come on follow me the foul murderer

approaches

we quickly creep up that's it go on go

on that's it

blood stains everywhere all over the

place

it's got to be convinced really clean

herself

everywhere take some more blood put your

hands

now this time you will have to choose

let's murder in that corner over there

no i don't like that corner very much

it's better against the wall

what do you mean first i'll get her feet

then i'll lift her up and swing her

against the wall and

beat her brains out

now little baby

the little precious was sleeping here

blood and stained stains and blood come

on more

more more the babies splattered against

the wall

blood everywhere more blood i want more

blood

splat and splatter she hit the chair she

hit the chair

ah you know blood has the strangest

effect it drives me berserk

the taste and smell of it make me crazy

oh that's very interesting it's tomato

sauce tomato sauce

tomato sauce oh oh frank you've gone and

ruined everything now

all right let's get going

hey here sheriff

oh sheriff have you found him yet soon

well we think we're on his trail now

the murderer oh please sheriff do me a

favor see my handkerchief

would you mind just pulling it out sir

and wiping my nose for me

now blow what's the matter with you

granny he made me put up my hands

and i haven't been able to put him down

ever since don't worry he's going to get

what he deserved

make him pay

[Music]

i advise you all to take every

precaution this character is dangerous

he isn't just a common theme he's a

bloodthirsty ruthless killer

and it's up to us to find him wherever

he is

[Music]

that's better isn't it ah i told you ah

now that's a reasonable figure

i think it's a moment for us to carry

out our plan i'll hand you over to the

sheriff

collect the reward help you escape and

then we divide the cash you got any

objections

about 20 i'd say splendid

[Music]

let's go bill right now that's right you

won't leave me friday

don't worry come on

for this did you when you murdered that

innocent woman and child

look he's captured the murderer the

general knows his stuff that's a fact

yeah let's go

home from us if i lose my temper i can

get very nasty get moving will ya

oh now you've maybe ruined my other

booth oh it's not fair call the sheriff

i want the sheriff yes that's right call

the sheriff the paris out of town oh

well in that case never mind folks i'll

come back another day

yes calm down the law of us run its

course oh well let's see which of us can

run faster

[Applause]

good afternoon people of golden valley

lend me your ears

tomato sauce put the rose around his

neck what are you talking about he took

advantage of me

he's an animal that's not true she's the

one he's the one

i recognize he took away the comfort of

me

that's wrong have you tried rubbing it

with

it's all your fault i'll pay for a

doctor it's nothing

he's my granddad he's joking i want to

thank you for this warm welcome to your

lovely city

thank you you believe a word you can all

go back to your homes now

thank you individual and i assure you it

was only tomato sauce

ah he's the one he's the one heave away

heave away he's the one that said

giveaway

no you got it all wrong oh it's a far

better thing than i do

but i swear to you it was only tomato

sauce

what's the matter with you have you all

gone mad or something you can't take the

war into your own hands like a bunch of

savages

get your home go back to earth

go on

come on you get to your feet

[Laughter]

just what do you suppose you're doing

it's mud i use it as a treatment to save

my skin

hmm very good i know seven thousand five

hundred

ten thousand thank you marbury that's

all

you did a great piece of work sir i'm

not really interested in the cash

now saratoga was a much tougher job and

for the winners it was only a worthless

little metal

that's true well i'll be seeing your

sheriff

congratulations sheriff and thank you

for being so helpful i hope to do this

hey wait a minute

get in there and don't try to be funny

what are you doing but

do you have to put me in there yes i do

if you don't mind you mean i'm not free

no i wouldn't say you're exactly free

but don't worry about that

it's for the best you'll see well that's

something you're going to be hanged in

the morning

but at least you're going to get a

regular trial it's very kind of you

thanks

i can't say a lot for his taste

what you're doing here pretty much the

same as you i think homer

you know who you're speaking i haven't

had the pleasure

i'm miguel alvaro almirande mindy

pleased to know you would you mind

repeating your surname i didn't quite

catch it and i'd like to remember it

you hear the mexican bandit

really oh you know i read your story it

was in there yeah yeah

go ahead my story is written in every

cemetery oh congratulations

did i say anything to hurt you

[Music]

is there anything i can do for you sir

gringo

you got a leaf on you you know i'm

terribly sorry but i don't seem to have

even a fig leaf

i want a leaf i want a leaf gringo i'll

leave i really expect me to find

one without the leaf i'm giving to

desperation dispersion

i feel so unhappy i just want to cry i

can't go on

nobody loves me nobody wants me

poor fellow don't cry and we'll see if

we can get you

let me look out here

there we are there's a beautiful baby

leaf for you in such a pretty shade of

green too

what do you think you're playing i'm so

full i wanted coco

i want a leaf of cocoa i've got to have

coco

ah but if you can't get him coco why

don't you try coffee you've got to get

me

now take your hands off me stop it i say

oh i'll get you into trouble i'll

report you to the ice squad you're

[ __ ] you're a dragon if i'll report

you

there's a leaf on the cover it fell from

heaven

[Music]

just one little foreign just like autumn

it reminds me of autumn

when yellow leaves or none or few do

hang

upon those vows that shake that chick

against the call

bearoo inquires we're lay tell me about

it later

[Music]

look if we really try i'm pretty sure

that you and i could get along here

like a house on fire i'm positive i'm

sorry about the way i lost my temper

you're tickling me

what a pleasant surprise

this is just marvelous

what a good idea vamos let's have

ourselves a party that's right

i'm so glad to see you my friend my

friend

[Laughter]

oh here we go

thank you thank you my friends you

seated

you're too kind

i wonder if our conquering hero has

thought

how about joining us in the game

sally my dude your mom is out of town

isn't she yes that's right

very well gentlemen i'm in fine

i'll double the goods my darling leave

it to me

take off your jacket first though my

jacket

but that's absurd why i'm freezing to

death in this place

strange we find it very hot don't we

fellas

hot as hell friend oh well gentleman in

the face of such a majority i can only

yield

that's better general thank you

oh sorry

huh there's a friend for you're not a

sign of frank don't worry

he'll soon be here i mean huh just now i

feel his presence very near

repeat the magic aztec chant i teach was

more too powerful

oh i might as well gone

well here goes bueno okay

hey spit on the floor not in my eye

fire's in the sunset fire's in the rain

it's all for me

and you won't get a thing fire's in the

sunset fire's in the ring it's all for

me and you won't get a thing

fires in the sunset fires in the ring

and you won't get it

in the ring

in the ring it's all for me and you will

think

well general do we go on playing or not

ah just a moment i won't keep you long

listen darling i gotta have some no but

this time i know i'm gonna win no

sally is that nice for you not beating

fast i'm not worried about my heart

i succeeded in hiding eight kings under

my vest hmm

oh very well you're an old robe but i

like you

and you can twist me around your little

finger

make sure you return it and all the

interest yes

thank you my friends

monitor the game gentlemen up for the

vest

what you heard what he said he told you

to take off your vest

but this because it's hot much hotter

than it was before right fellas

right it's suffocating well

if it's suffocating it might be a good

idea to try and cool off

[Laughter]

no you believe me hey imagine you could

bring your friend here huh

hey you uh muchas gracias mexicano

fires in the sunset fires in the rain

here's supper for you uh

my last no it's duration of heart attack

heart attack heart attack

oh yeah i broke it too

it was a good one talk about hard times

these are worse than stones

[Music]

[Laughter]

stones

um

[Music]

ah

out

[Music]

so

[Music]

[Music]

hey hey mexican hey wake up wake up you

and i are going to get out what'd you

say

you mean my contagios have arrived no

but we can break out ourselves oh no i

refuse until my companies arrive i don't

move any

don't change no no why not enemies

oh no i want to stay keep quiet

now just follow me i'll explain later

[Music]

you get me out of stinking prison you

save my stinking life

you're my amigo where you go amigo

you're gonna be confused you go on eagle

no you go you go i'm not gonna like you

go with me no

ah of course no look i'm sorry missy

what about my cousin i've got to go with

frank what you say you there refuse my

hospitality no please i'd love to go

home honestly but my cousin frank will

soon prank

with me you have a great future you will

save me my gracias gracias

um

[Applause]

[Music]

well i don't think much of it so far my

friend with you on the horse while i

have to walk

we ride by turds watch use his mind

what's mine remember not too fast i'm

going to hang onto this rope here that's

right hang on

holy mackerel is gone

help everybody two prisoners have

escaped two dangerous criminals

[Music]

general are you all right oh it's

nothing i tripped as i was coming

through the saloon door

you were shouting something weren't you

the jail's empty and the prisoners have

escaped

what about my man he got away too help

everybody

do you propose to offer a price for him

again well naturally another five

thousand dollars

oh well i'll have him back in jail in no

time at all of course you'll need a few

men

no thank you i prefer to act alone like

a real bounty killer

well tell me anything you need arms

ammunition provisions no when a mind is

alert

with strong hand in faith's armor a man

needs just one thing

and what's that well a suit of clothes i

mustn't go around in my underwear

wake up wake up mexican

to fall asleep oh it's time to get up

rise and shine

[Music]

cock-a-doodle-doo

[Music]

foreign

[Music]

you

[Music]

foreign

[Music]

they will already have hanged him by now

[Music]

[Music]

oh

you might dance

[Music]

so

[Music]

even if my loyal heart is sick mourning

his death

my feet that duty is far more important

so

from this moment on i hand out the

orders

es claro just what are you trying to say

with that sneeze

i've got an influenza

[Music]

buenos amigos our brave mexicano has

flown to the angels

and from now on i am your leader

anyone like to raise an objection yes

that's enough stop it i say fool

so i've flown to the angels

not yet but someone else will go in my

place but you were in too much of a

harry toro you always were impatient

and all you filthy scum couldn't wait

till my body was called to find a new

leader

chief here is your pistol chief

i sneezed i was with the opposition your

only opposition was a sneeze

saloo miguel saluanita

when the music comes to an end you must

shoot

what are they doing playing sort of a

guessing game to see which of them can

name the music

no it's a duel ah do well yes

you look so sad below

[Music]

foreign

[Music]

toro are you afraid

you think you are a leader now's your

chance to prove it

[Music]

don't let me scare you when the music

comes to an end you must shoot

the mustard

get him out of the way quickly

uh

[Music]

i was on the opposite side i know

you think i'm crazy give me the pistol

the pistol

you had to go on shouting for more

didn't you but i thought it was amazing

it sure was

he knows many such tricks

oh watch me shoot off that animal's foot

you like what can i say i mean it's

uh entertaining neither

i aim it to handle with a murder or with

the eyes

you like it's awful

but you mean you don't like it oh no it

was awfully good i meant it was awfully

good why

i found it very amusing i'm crazy about

this sort of thing

you couldn't have thought of anything i

like more

and now keep your eyes in the head of

that murderous treacherous monster

god he's decapitated he's cut his head

clean

what's the matter you don't like huh of

course i like it amigo

i'm crazy about heads really crazy about

them i'm always having fun in games with

separate heads sweet little severed

heads

amigos i used to play hockey with

us

now listen everybody i've come back to

you and there's something that i must

tell you

i think you'll want a new leader unless

i'm wrong

that's what i was trying to tell you

it's dangerous

as a gringo say because pride never

comes before the fall

[Laughter]

didn't you like it then go dance

[Music]

hey

you're happy with it

[Music]

we dance at night and the morning after

our troubles begin all over again

[Music]

[Music]

oh oh

stop moaning over maury muerte it brings

bad luck what are you all so nervous

about

huh you know that i'm here i'll put in a

word for you how's that

now i'm gonna wake him up you'll see no

i beg you

it's so dangerous but why i'm his bosom

pal like twins like we're related

hermanos

leave him to me you simply don't know

how to handle this

[Music]

wakey wakey tweet we tweet listen to the

dicky birds

it's time to get up wake up

hi you've opened your little eyes at

last good morning mexicano

what's so good about it who the hell are

you why are you protecting

your dirty hands tell me who you are or

i'd break your lousy neck

i see you missy you're just a great big

joker you won't make a fool out of me

tell me who this idiot is but he's what

do you mean chief have you forgotten

last night we escaped from prison when

you tell me are these who's trying to

pretend that i'm crazy who do you think

you're playing with

[Music]

no no the magic spell i've forgotten all

about it yeah

he'll remember that i'm sure that's the

answer there we are

fires in the sunset fire's in the ring

it's all for me and you won't get a

thing

ah you want to use fairly but i know

it's better to get rid of it i know

not you what are you doing sunset fire

ring of fire i am total but you're a big

guy

why is the sunset fires in the ring it's

all for me and you won't get a thing

sunset by a ring of fire i am truth when

you desire fire's the sunset fires in

the ring it's all for me and you won't

get a thing

fires in the sunset fires in the ring

it's soft

oh it's my cousin frank hey frank look

out

that was all guilty wayne captured this

gringo he was spying around the camp

why'd they tie your hands

oh frank i'm glad to see you

a bounty killer i suppose oh no this is

my cousin frank the one we expected in

prison don't you

oh i'm sick of all this nonsense of

yours no sotos almost cousins he's my

relative man they're relatives they know

each other they're in league

who knows what you two are plotting hey

plotting us nothing

look i just dropped in no no social

media was that my one and only cousin

frank

pleasure why don't you tell two guests

deserve a warm welcome i think some

dancing wouldn't be a bad idea

frank you've no idea

that's enough thank goodness for that

i'm bored

well that's over still you shouldn't be

too serious what do you want me to do

for you well i

have you had any breakfast yet no i

haven't either and after that jumping

around a bite to eat wouldn't be a bad

idea

sam with a fried egg a plate of pancakes

however i propose we fight a duel what

do you think

will well no a duel for me

is out of the question sorry no no i'm

sorry but for a duel we must have total

unanimity yes

oh well anyway i tell you i want to

fight

now hold on just a moment i'm still

young i don't want to be killed you yeah

mature but not exactly at the end of my

day just courage cousin don't give him

the satisfaction of showing fish

oh you're a man save your bed for

fighting i want both of you in this

toilet take your pistol

both of us yeah oh but you can't do that

it's illegal

[Music]

and when the music comes to an end you

must fire

if you get time

caroline my darling caroline

i love you so much there's nobody who

loves you more my dear

your beautiful caroline you're the most

beautiful creature in the world darling

darling caroline

caroline somehow or other i know that

guy

at the moment i'm not very interested

the music's just about finished

are you sure

get out

[Music]

look at that yeah

you better laugh too

are you

has restored his memory the same as his

father

the same as his father saludos amigos

my brother you helped me escape from the

prison you're a better friend than my

companeros

we all good friends i love my friends

let's start

notice the trouble oh keep chewing keep

chewing just keep at it

you might want another duo no no does

now we all buenos and eagles right

but tell me what were you doing in

prison in golden valley

and why didn't your cousin arrive well

anyway you know how it is one can so

easily miscalculate oh no no no frank

our new hermano has a right to know the

whole truth

it was this way senor messi commented

it was this way amigo i'm the second

assistant accountant at the bank at

silver city

do you mean to tell me that you're keep

chewing keep shooting and let's see

the guns in the bank of silver city

that's right i've worked there for

nearly five months

but this news is important how's that

it's the best in the world

oh why is that you'll come with me amigo

oh no no i haven't yet finished telling

the story to you that's right

we don't i don't have to know anymore oh

no i have to go at once and tell my

father about it

your cousin will stay here till we

return and enjoy our hospitality

oh no no please don't trouble i'd much

rather go with you the chief says you

should stop here with us

so do as the chief says

folks

what's the matter with you come on

[Music]

of course not just let's keep together

though

come on man

come on

this is it see isn't it better to come

during the day

after all the news isn't that important

now is it i know what i'm doing

so you keep your mouth shut and listen

to me

it says rest in peace wouldn't it be

kind of let him alone

i'm sure so what have i got to do

you mean your father's under there five

years oh

my condolences better late than never ah

i pray yes pray pray please don't mind

me i understand no i say i pray to be

polite

now let me collect my thoughts father

it's your son can you hear me it's your

little

nino what did you say it's your ninja

father

[Music]

[Applause]

that's all very well miguel alvaro

escobar estimindi first you slapped my

face and you spit in my eyes

oh it's too steep i'm falling let's go

back home i want to go home

father i'm so happy to see you again

father

i'm going no no

father it's me father my son

what do you want ah i've seen everything

i mean he's dead and he moved and spoke

what do you mean then he's living

oh my how marvelous you are leaving

aren't you

father come on give me a hat

i'm gracious i'm always glad to see

visitors

i've been hiding here because i'm wanted

all over the state by at least 10

sheriffs

congratulations oh mommy

no it's no mommy it is granny granny

manuela

i'm i'm delighted

is the lady really dead or just taking a

rescuer like you sir

you haven't forgotten granny manuela

papa how could i

ah she had the best coke in the state

and made tortillas better than anyone

see

her tortillas were really stupendous

wonderful woman in this wonderful cooker

excuse me i don't want to appear stupid

but first you said she was a wonderful

cook and then you said she had a cook

not that kind of crocodilis kind you

must try some it's delirious

oh really

wicked girly father i have to tell you

something most important celencio no

have you forgotten your manners

first of all we must drink in honor of

our guest

here let's put ferranya it's a special

brew

for me yeah special brand of fire water

raised in the wood the wood from that

coffin over there uncle miguel that has

a family flavor

tio miguel had a unique flavor there's

body in it

when you're drunk you're drinking huh

drunken are you hungry i don't want to

trouble

just keep your eyes on this watch my

hand watch my hand there's nothing

there's nothing look at my hand look at

my hand that's right how about that

for each of you now take it easy i

haven't finished so watch carefully

there's nothing in this and there's

nothing in this hand

now just watch you see there's nothing

here and there's nothing there either

now mumble jumble jumbo

people know about that guard is for the

girls

it's really quite simple you know girls

but you must have the right sort of

fingers in order to do it

now then girls i'll show you my special

vanishing trick

any of your girls got a dollar on you

see i think so here you are

now this is a trick that's so simple

that even a baby could do it you'll see

i take the money soul and put it in my

hand

on top goes my other hand we seem to

have one hand too many

what is it i would a chief wants to have

a few words with you

so we better get going i have company

won't it wait

no i'm sorry it is many miles have i

horse no

we do ah well goodbye ladies

you mean you're going to leave me like

this you see what i mean

women can't resist me poor child i know

how you feel

kiss me goodbye money give me that

dollar

eyes handcuff let's go bye bye

give my love to your cousin

i've always believed that a man thinks

better on a full stomach

i'd like a little more thank you ah that

is good that's fine there's something

important i must tell you

listen to me weren't you taught not to

speak with your mouth full

delicious then you like my cooking

they're getting oh

nothing to touch it especially that

plate of soup you gave me it was

oh well we're lucky you know there's

never a shortage of bones in this place

what did you say

oh oh i'll make no bones about it you've

made me into a cannibal if you're joking

they were buffalo bones gringo i would

never serve my own flesh and blood to

strangers what do you take me for

oh i'm no cannibal

oh look like make a terrible mistake

like that father i must talk to you

silencio i haven't finished you must

listen it is

important no i'm sure you're

exaggerating as usual

but let's see if it's muay muy important

follow this man here is the cashier of

the bank it's like yes no

i said yes but why didn't you tell me

before embassy

is stupid you know listen to your father

he's right and you know it father i was

trying to tell you what you would not

listen

you mustn't talk with your mouth full so

eat and be quiet now

gringo i was sure before i died i would

have this great honor no it's only

telling me that mr black is still head

of the bank

yes i'm sorry to say with his menu for

hiding the safe deposit box

the same as ever and you're the cashier

that's right

amigo come with me oh where to see this

passage yes

you see this takes you right under the

floor of the bank

oh oh marvelous you dug it didn't you

you ought to be proud of yourself yes

now you're the cashier right

listen to me you are the cashier oh well

vice cash never mind about your vices

listen to me

when you get to the bank and learn where

the safety positions you will knock her

on the floor several times like this

then if things get a little bit

difficult up there you must knock faster

like

doctor no no no i'm employed in that

bank they know me huh

i'm a trusted employee doctor what do

you take me for eh i

asked all right amigo listen to this

just a few moments ago

i gave you a drink and you drank it

that's true i gave you something to eat

and you ate

that's true too now if you don't go to

the bank

what do you say he will kill you so i go

to the bank ah no that's too much to ask

that i'm dressed like a bank robber

there are pictures of me unwanted

posters all over town i'd be recognized

at once

so if you'll excuse me come back here

it's not an excuse i know what we will

give know what

the grave clothes of teo miguel embassy

now we don't stick our tongues out do we

what are you gonna do with cousin frank

you'll be a hostage and the bully will

be divided between us it's full of

guards mining the money

doesn't matter amigo take this it is gas

made from the seeds of poppy and it'll

make them all sleep and keep them

snoring

but don't forget to take these and stuff

them up your nose

stoppers what for so that he doesn't get

knocked out by the gas as well

so now call me in bessie idiot i'm doing

he didn't call you an intercell did he

when you go to bank nine o'clock well i

don't like to wait

at nine exactly

[Music]

i see no sign of your assistant i can't

imagine where he can have got to sir

ah there is

oh sorry head on straight

good morning mr black you're late again

this time by 15 seconds 15 and a half

seconds if we're going to be precise sir

this time what's your excuse this

morning i couldn't find my clothes so i

threw this whole thing on oh allow me to

light that for you sir

what to do oh it's for my dog miguel

he's called

come into my office immediately very

well sir

we must have another look at last week's

account book oh yes sir oh what a

spelling time stop that

yes that'll do yes sir

well what did you do on your holiday

nothing

nothing i was bored to death buddy

good morning yeah i'm the sheriff of

golden valley i'd like to speak to mr

black if you don't mind right away

mr black mr black

there's a sheriff to see you oh good

morning sheriff now what can i do for

you

oh what's going on oh you again

your shoes could do with a little polish

should have come this way what's the

trouble i'm looking for two bandages

who've escaped from prison

two bandits yes they're on the loose in

this territory and there's a large

reward for their campaign

all shares have been warned that they

must be taken dead or alive

oh

oh please sir do try to be light on your

foot

oh 250.

leave that poor man alone he's a good

client

bill

[Music]

i'll explain

you go too far oh bill really here you

are

thank you thanks so much have fun

have fun

well you can see for yourself sheriff

i've taken every precaution it's better

to be safe than sorry

oh what's the matter with you this

morning get back to your place at once

i shall put this cash in the safe very

sound idea what are you doing down there

harp

any more of this nonsense and you'll be

out yes sir

listen bill don't everything's going to

be all right now

so long

what are you doing secret run along now

i hope i'm not intruding sir course not

thank you sir

young man your accounts are out

considerably out and i don't believe i'm

wrong

you could be sir and my accounts could

be right what's wrong i just have a bit

of a cold

go out you were saying something about

my accounts just now i believe

it was what's the matter serge

tired why not sit here

that's it you'll feel much better

sitting down

[Music]

you'll love this brand giving you hold

the curl

ah

[Music]

i can't see a thing i'm going blind

smell give me air

[Music]

i'm sure i knew him but where oh where

soft delicate sweet caroline

my adorable caroline oh my darling

all my darling caroline one day you'll

be

the most beautiful pig in the world and

everyone will be jealous of my beautiful

fat caroline

your mind caroline all mine

[Music]

caroline please

i won't try to escape so you can tell me

why not we have to obey the orders of

our hefe well please scratch my back or

i'll go mad

if you want that's kind of you ah thank

you

but a little bit more to the right lower

that's it divine

[Music]

my god is that loaded sure he's losing i

don't reach anymore stop it at once

you green ghost say i scratch your back

you scratch mine

i want to know what it is you want

[Music]

[Music]

here

[Music]

all is well untied the bank's lost

oh i'm glad how about my customer you

sold me here

now in the meantime you'll help us open

the safe unloading unloaded

easy

albany well i don't think i can i don't

have my instruments

we have to wait up there but we lose all

the cash

you must know a better way to open it

well i happen to have a bottle of secret

fluid here

[Laughter]

it will lubricate the mechanism of the

log

here let's see

what is happening it was thirsty

[Laughter]

what are you waiting for don't rush me

be patient

i'm afraid i need a much longer blade

wait don't be in such a hurry

delicate precision equipment

here goes now it's open

come here

what kind of joke is this mr black's

always hiding the safe in a different

place and i thought this was it

you've ruined the biggest bank robbery

of my career it's not my fault i did

everything you told me to

please hold this what did i do what am i

supposed to tell my father tell them the

one about the girl who used to

the other girl this girl went out no

frank don't give the ending away

went out and ate nuts give him his gun

my gun

you don't need to bother i won't be

needing i never kill an unarmed man

kill yes you're joking don't be a silly

billy we're amigos we've always been the

best of buddies him and me

frankenstein yes yes oh she goes and

meet your maker

my maker yes i don't think he's been

eating his leaves no i have been eating

leaves i've been eating lots and lots

now i'm sure about two two you mean

trouble and i'm going to kill you one

after the other

but i had nothing to do with it i'm an

innocent bystander shut up and wait your

turn

must super for the music ads i make the

rules and they're not easy

[Music]

ah caroline you're so soft

and beautiful who is the loveliest of

them all

they'll love my caroline you see you'll

win the prize

the most put up your hands

do as i say

and you'll see the only price you get is

[Music]

sausages

[Music]

oh

it's a lovely tune

[Music]

it's kind of sad

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

um

[Music]

um

bill bill

wake up it's me

who is it put yourself together huh the

music's finished

oh i must be dead no you're not dead

don't make such a racket

oh not dead

oh look at the bodies

i must have done it ah frank

frank quick come on look at what i did

frank look

look how many i killed with my little

gun they're sleeping

they are yes well i'm not surprised that

boring tomb went on and on playing

indeed come on now there's no time for

idle chatter we must get out of here

before they wake up

ah they'll sleep all night oh

good idea

don't forget this that'll fix them

hands up keep still now and don't move

either of you

we're innocent sheriff do we look like

bandits

we're not bandits don't you recognize us

well look closely so you can i know it's

clear but

the attempt to rob the bank at silver

city didn't come off thanks to me it's

true every word of it i wouldn't tell a

lie not only that but the mexican and

his band have all been put to sleep

so all you have left to do now is tie

the knot i don't understand

why this man is an escaped prisoner well

you see the role of the escaped prison

was all part of the trip we used to

capture the mexicans

by jangle i told you i'm a general i

don't invent things huh

well you've done some good work now you

go down in the good books of the law we

deserve a medal

i'll take cash we deserve that yes pity

i was that twenty thousand dollars would

go to me

twenty thousand dollars yeah i'm the

cashier remember that frank there you

are

you know it certainly hurts me to hand

this over to you but i think you've

really earned it what a lot of lovely

huh

i told you already i'm the cashier

and after all frank the cashier should

handle the money

i have that banking experience

[Music]

just imagine 20 000 right here in my

hand don't worry i'll see that you make

some sound investments

hey my good man is this the right way to

santa fe ah

hey he's turned up again you haven't had

the pleasure

come and meet my cousin don't worry

frank we're all friends who is father of

the mexican like father like son i hate

son

that's no way to treat an amigo yes

where's your mouth i have arrested my

son

and i need all of that money for the

lawyers don't you trust a lot of rice

believe me they cause more trouble than

if you never had them in the first day

money i start the music oh i couldn't

stand to hear that music again

quickly all right all right keep your

blankets i hand it over of course

twenty thousand dollars here you are

adios adios

[Music]

what a miser that man is he might have

left us some of the money instead of

taking all of it

now there's nothing left and you laugh

well i don't see the joke at all what's

so funny

but frank frank what are you doing you

can't fish here

[Music]

frank

[Music]

frank frank you've saved the fortune for

us you're a genius

a general an admiral an emperor you're

the president of the united

states yeah you know what frank yeah

we're both young

handsome and rich too let's visit all

this good idea the saloons we'll put it

on the red and the black the red and the

blue and all the pretty girls in the

world will say yes girls

girls japanese

i didn't think you'd get away did you

[Music]

we met you that spoils our vacation

frank

don't worry about it you have to have a

priest to perform a marriage ceremony

they'll never find one here

you said that too soon what i'm glad to

see you

children you see it's all been arranged

[Music]

i'm ready are these the beautiful young

brides are they i guess so

[Music]

will you marry me sure i will

you make a lovely group

what's this hey what's written here

where here the end