For Pete's Sake! (1966) - full transcript

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

GOD IS NOT DEAD,
AS NIETZSCHE SAID.

GOD IS ALIVE!

AND THE BIBLE TEACHES THAT
GOD HAS A PLAN FOR OUR WORLD

AND GOD HAS A PLAN
FOR THE HUMAN RACE,

AND GOD HAS A PLAN FOR YOU!

♪

[yelling]

♪

(Billy Graham)
YOU CAN'T COME TO CHRIST
JUST ANYTIME YOU WANT TO.

YOU COME WHEN THE HOLY SPIRIT
IS DRAWING,



AS HE IS THIS AFTERNOON.

[horns honking]

YOU GO TO CHURCH...

YOU MIGHT HAVE GONE
TO CHURCH THIS MORNING.

YOU LIVE A FAIRLY
DECENT LIFE,

BUT YOU'VE NEVER REALLY HAD
A PERSONAL ENCOUNTER

WITH JESUS CHRIST.

YOU'VE NEVER REALLY MET HIM
AS YOUR SAVIOR.

JESUS CAN COME INTO YOUR HEART
RIGHT NOW

AND BE YOUR COMPANION
AND YOUR FRIEND FROM NOW ON.

WHILE OTHERS ARE COMING,

I WANT TO SAY A WORD
TO YOU THAT HAVE COME.

YOU'VE COME TODAY,
NOT TO ME,

YOU'VE COME TO RECEIVE
JESUS CHRIST



AS YOUR LORD AND MASTER
AND SAVIOR.

NOW GOD KNOWS WHAT
YOUR HEART NEEDS; I DON'T.

I SERIOUSLY DOUBT IF YOU DO.

YOU MAY BE VERY MUCH LIKE I WAS
THE NIGHT I CAME.

I WAS CONFUSED,
I WAS EMBARRASSED,

I WAS TIMID.

I HAD A CONFLICTING GROUP
OF EMOTIONS.

THAT WAS THE NIGHT...

HEY, WATCH THE SPLINTERS.

HEY, MAYBE IT'S HAPPENING...

COME ON, YOU GUYS...

BUT IT'S ONLY THE BEGINNING.

THIS IS THE BEGINNING
OF A NEW LIFE.

NOW I'M GOING TO ASK
THAT WE BOW IN PRAYER.

EVERY HEAD BOWED,

AND I WANT YOU TO PRAY
THIS PRAYER AFTER ME OUT LOUD.

O GOD...

HALLELUJAH, ALREADY!

I AM A SINNER.

MAN, THIS IS A CEMETERY,
LET'S SPLIT!

I AM WILLING TO TURN...

[motorcycle engines rev]

FROM THIS MOMENT ON...

[audience repeats]

I WANT TO FOLLOW HIM,

AND SERVE HIM,

IN THE FELLOWSHIP
OF HIS CHURCH.

[audience repeats]

IN CHRIST'S NAME,

AMEN.

AMEN.

♪

LISTEN, WHY DON'T WE
JUST DRIVE AROUND

FOR A LITTLE WHILE?

WHERE TO, DAD?

I DON'T KNOW,
LET'S JUST AIM IT AND GO!

♪

(Billy Graham voice-over)
NOW FAITH DOESN'T
HAVE TO BE VERY BIG.

YOU MAY HAVE MANY DOUBTS,

BUT IF YOU'LL PUT
THE LITTLE FAITH THAT YOU HAVE

IN THE PERSON OF JESUS CHRIST,
YOUR LIFE CAN BE CHANGED.

♪

HEY, YOU GUYS,
HERE COMES A TUNNEL!

HEY, YOU KNOW,
WE OUGHTA SING
A HYMN OR SOMETHING.

DO YOU KNOW ANY,
PETE?

WHAT'S A HYMN?

[laughter]

♪

[Billy Graham voice-over]
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND IT ALL.

YOU HAVEN'T GOT IT ALL
FIGURED OUT INTELLECTUALLY.

BUT YOU WANT TO RECEIVE HIM
AS BEST YOU CAN,

IN SIMPLE, CHILDLIKE FAITH.

THAT'S THE BEGINNING.

♪

[Billy Graham voice-over]
YOU CAN'T BE
A SUCCESSFUL CHRISTIAN

AND A GROWING CHRISTIAN

WITHOUT READING THE BIBLE
AND PRAYING.

DON'T LET ANYBODY KID YOU.

THERE ARE NO SHORTCUTS

TO LIVING A SUCCESSFUL
CHRISTIAN LIFE.

♪

(Ronnie)
HELLO!

[echo] HELLO!

HELLO!

[echo] HELLO!

WHAT?

HMM.

HAS MY NOSE SLIPPED?

[laughing]

NO.

HONEY, DID YOU DO IT
JUST FOR ME TODAY?

NO.

I WANTED TO GO DOWN THERE
TO FIND OUT,

THEN YOU GOT UP.

BOY, LISTENING TO GRAHAM
IS LIKE, UH...

WELL, HE REALLY BELIEVES
WHAT HE SAYS.

I HAVE A FEELING
THAT HE'S LATCHED ON

TO THE BEST PART OF LIFE.

AND WE WERE LET IN
ON A LITTLE BIT OF
THAT TODAY.

YEAH.

I CAN TELL YOU
ONE THING.

YOU'RE A LOT EASIER
TO HOLD ON TO UP HERE.

A FEW MORE HOURS,

AND WE'RE BACK AT
THAT OLD GRIND.

[alarm clock rings]

[groaning]

[ringing stops]

DOES THAT STUFF EXPLODE
ALL THE WAY DOWN?

HI-POWER!

DELAYED REACTION!

KEEPS YOU STEAMIN'
RIGHT UP TO LUNCH.

HERE, YOU WANT SOME?

DON'T YOU DARE--

AN OMELETTE'S
ABOUT TO BE BORN.

OH, IT'S STUCK.

I SHOULD'VE USED
MORE BUTTER.

AND I NEED
A REAL OMELETTE PAN.

OH, LOOK AT THAT.

HONEY, IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

I WANTED IT TO BE
SO NICE THIS MORNING.

IT'S A LITTLE MANGLED.

MMM, THAT'S JUST GREAT!

I'LL SAY ONE THING
ABOUT MY OMELETTES,

THEY TASTE BETTER
THAN THEY LOOK.

I'LL STICK WITH
HI-POWER!

PETE...

HMM?

IS LEO GONNA BE
AT THE STATION
THIS MORNING?

WHY?

IT'S HIS WEEK
FOR THE NIGHT SHIFT,

I WAS JUST WONDERING.

HE'LL PROBABLY
COME BY TODAY.

IT'S HIS DAY TO GO
TO THE BANK.

WONDERING WHAT?

ARE YOU GONNA TELL HIM
ABOUT YESTERDAY?

YOU MEAN THAT
WE'RE CHRISTIANS?

WELL, WE FOUND OURSELVES
THINKING ABOUT GOD.

YOU GOT RELIGION.

SOMETHING HAPPENED.

WELL, WE GOT SOMETHING.

MARGE, TOO?

AND RONNIE.

PACKAGE DEAL, HUH?

BUDDY...

YOU GOT ANY TROUBLES
YOU'RE NOT TELLING ME?

NO, ONLY THE USUAL.

MARGE HIT ME THIS MORNING
FOR AN OMELETTE PAN.

HOW DO YOU TELL
YOUR WIFE

SHE MAKES LOUSY
OMELETTES?

WHAT'S THE BIG COVER-UP?

SINCE WHEN DO YOU STOP
LEVELING WITH ME?

WHAT?

ALL OF A SUDDEN
WE'VE GOT A BIG
FEDERAL CASE

ABOUT WHAT I DID
THIS WEEKEND?

HARV NEEDS A HAND.

I'LL GET IT, PETE.

I GOT IT!

HEY, HARV?

YEAH?

PETE TELL YOU
THE BIG NEWS?

WELL, I HAVEN'T HAD ANY
BIG NEWS TODAY, MAN,

I COULD USE SOME.

OL' PETE WENT BILLY GRAHAM
CRUSADING YESTERDAY.

GOT HIMSELF HYPNOTIZED.

BET HE KICKED IN
TEN BUCK

WHEN THEY PASSED
THE PLATE, TOO.

LISTEN, YOU JUST
LAY OFF ME, LEO,

OR I'M GONNA BELT YOU ONE.

HIT A NERVE THERE.

MORE LIKE TWENTY!

THAT GRAHAM CROWD'S
BIG TIME, BUDDY.

YOU'RE OUT-CLASSED
FROM THE START.

SO GRAHAM REALLY GOT
THROUGH TO YOU, HUH?

YOU GONNA START IN,
TOO?

I USED TO LISTEN TO HIM,
ON THE RADIO,

GRAHAM, I MEAN.

MAMA ALWAYS TUNED HIM IN.

YEAH, WELL, SUNDAY WAS
THE FIRST DAY FOR US.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHY WE WENT.

IT'S CRAZY, YOU KNOW,

MARGE READ SOMETHING ABOUT IT
IN THE NEWSPAPER.

IT WAS FREE.

THAT WAS A GOOD
SELLING POINT.

WE JUST WENT, THAT'S ALL.

DID YOU COME AWAY
WITH ANYTHING?

WENT DOWN ON THE FIELD

WHEN HE CALLED FOR PEOPLE
WHO WANTED TO TRY IT.

YOU KNOW, PEOPLE WHO
WANTED TO BELIEVE.

AFTER WHICH GRAHAM SAID
THAT WE WERE CHRISTIANS.

WHAT DID YOU SAY?

YEAH.

WELL, WELCOME ABOARD,
BROTHER.

CUT IT OUT, HARVEY,

I DON'T WANT YOU TO
JOKE ABOUT IT.

NO, NO, I'M NOT
PUTTING YOU ON, MAN.

THE LORD AND ME'S BEEN
TOGETHER FOR QUITE A WHILE NOW.

YOU'RE KIDDING?

[chuckling]

WHEN?

OH, I DON'T KNOW...

I WAS A PIMPLY-FACED KID
IN CHURCH BACK HOME.

BOY, THE LORD REALLY HAD ME
BY THE TAIL IN THOSE DAYS.

WELL, TIME FOR
A LITTLE CHRISTIAN
SERVICE AT NUMBER ONE.

HEY, HEY, YOU AND ME
ARE BROTHERS.

HA-HA.

BLEST BE THE TIE THAT
BINDS AND ALL THAT
KINDA TRUTH.

[chuckling]

DID THEY REALLY TALK LIKE THIS
WHEN JESUS WAS GROWING UP?

I MEAN, THE "THEE'S" AND
"THOU'S" AND "COMETH'S"?

WHY DIDN'T THEY
JUST SAY "COME"?

I WONDER HOW ANYBODY KNEW
WHAT WAS GOING ON.

LEMME SEE.

ANY GREASE
ON YOUR HANDS?

I'VE STARTED ON
THE FIRST LESSON.

ALL RIGHT?

I CAN'T SEND IT IN
ALL SMUDGED UP.

IT'S GOTTA BE GRADED.

BIG DEAL.

IT STARTS OFF WITH A LETTER
FROM BILLY GRAHAM.

THEN THEY GIVE YOU
THIS RED BOOKLET.

IT'S PART OF THE BIBLE.

YOU LOOK UP
THE ANSWERS IN IT--

HERE'S THE QUESTIONS.

YOU RIGHT SO FAR?

I GUESS,

ANYWAY, I'VE GOT TO
GET IT ALL FINISHED

BEFORE SCHOOL STARTS.

WHY?

WHAT'S THE BIG RUSH?

GOSH, I CAN'T DO ALL THIS
AND REGULAR HOMEWORK, TOO.

HEY! HOW 'BOUT US?

WE'LL GET AT IT.

I'M STUCK ON NUMBER 13.

HOW OFTEN DO YOU ATTEND
CHURCH AND SUNDAY SCHOOL?

YOU'RE SUPPOSED
TO CIRCLE ONE--

EVERY WEEK, SOMETIMES,
OR HARDLY EVER?

PUT NEVER, RONNIE,
CIRCLE IT.

NOT "NEVER," PETE...

PUT "NEVER YET."

PROBABLY I SHOULD
JUST IGNORE THE QUESTION.

OH, HONEY,
YOU CAN'T TELL ME

THE GUY WHO PUT
THIS STUFF TOGETHER

HAS BEEN WHERE I'VE BEEN.

THAT'S TOO CUT AND DRIED.

THE BIBLE'S LIKE THAT.

CALL IT "GROUND RULES."

YEAH, BUT IT'S GOTTA BE
MORE IMPORTANT THAN

THIS INFANTILE WAY
I'M FILLING IN THESE BLANKS!

LIKE SOME LITTLE KID
IN THE FIRST GRADE.

MARGE, I'M READY
TO CHANGE SOMETHING,

BUT I DON'T KNOW
WHAT TO CHANGE,

AND, AND THEY GIVE ME
SYMBOLS.

HONEY, I WANT TO
MAKE THIS THING WORK!

LET'S SLEEP ON IT, HMM?

(Pete) MARGE...

HMM?

WE CAN FORGET ABOUT
TAKING LEO TO HEAR GRAHAM.

OH?

WHY, I COULDN'T EVEN
TALK ABOUT IT.

HE MADE A CRACK.

YOU POPPED YOUR CLUTCH.

NO, NOT RIGHT OFF
I DIDN'T.

BUT HE KEPT AT ME,
THAT BULLHEADED...

IT'S ALL RIGHT SOMEHOW,
FIGHTING OVER BILLY GRAHAM.

IT'S ALL RIGHT,

IF LEO WANTS TO PLAY ROUGH,

I CAN DISH IT OUT
AS GOOD AS HE CAN.

MAYBE WE SHOULD ASK HIM
TO DINNER ON SUNDAY,

PLAN TO GO TO
THE CRUSADE FIRST.

GUESS I'LL PROBABLY
HAVE TO SPLURGE ON A ROAST.

MAYBE SOME LASAGNA.

THAT MIGHT WEAR HIM DOWN.

YOU CRAFTY FEMALE.

DO ME A FAVOR,
WILL YOU?

TRY THE LASAGNA FIRST.

I MEAN, MAYBE WE CAN
BYPASS THE ROAST.

YEAH.

HEY...

HMM?

WE FORGOT TO PRAY.

DO WE HAVE TO
GET UP TO DO IT?

I DON'T KNOW.

YOU START.

WELL, HERE WE ARE...

[clears throat]

UH...

I SUPPOSE YOU HEARD US
TALKING ABOUT LEO.

SEE, HE AND I HAVE BEEN
BUDDIES SINCE HIGH SCHOOL,

AND UH...

LISTENING TO GRAHAM
IS LIKE READING

THE LATEST EDITION
OF THE POST.

EVERYTHING HE SAYS
IS SO CURRENT.

I MEAN, IT'S NOT LIKE
HE'S GOT HIS HEAD

IN A SACK, OR ANYTHING.

ANYWAY, WE'LL BE OUT
OF THERE BY 4:30.

I CAN SET
THE TABLE BEFORE WE GO.

WELL...

LEO, YOU CAN EAT FOR HOURS,
A REGULAR ORGY.

OKAY, OKAY, I'M HIP.

I'LL GO.

NOW, BOTH OF YOU,
WILL YOU GET OFF
MY BACK?

YOU KNOW, SOMEBODY'S
GOT TO DO SOME WORK
AROUND HERE.

DID YOU DO IT?

YEAH.

AH! SUCH A WIFE!

DON'T FORGET WE PRAYED.

YEAH.

THE ONLY THING IS I,

I HAD TO THROW IN
SOME HOMEMADE ICE CREAM.

AH, HONEY,
LEO'S LIKE THAT.

HE'S A ROUGH MAN
TO DO BUSINESS WITH.

YEAH... YEAH.

♪

WERE THOSE GUYS ON
ED SULLIVAN?

MAYBE...

CERTAINLY GOOD ENOUGH.

♪

UH-OH, THOSE CLOUDS
ARE WORKING UP
TO SOMETHING.

♪

THEY'RE CLOSING IN ON US.

WE'RE NAILED.

HE'S JUST TRYING TO
GET A RISE OUT OF YOU.

THEY'LL MAKE IT
WITHOUT YOUR QUARTER.

OKAY.

LOOK, THERE'S A LOT
OF UMBRELLAS COMING OUT.

I DON'T FEEL ANYTHING,
DO YOU?

WELL, THERE ARE TWO WAYS
YOU CAN LOOK AT IT.

EITHER THEY CAME
PREPARED, OR THEY'RE
SHORT ON FAITH.

DEPENDS ON
YOUR POINT OF VIEW.

OH, LISTEN,
HERE'S THE CHORUS.

♪ HE'S THE CHRIST
OF EVERY CRISIS ♪

♪ HE IS JUST THE SAME TODAY ♪

♪ HE WILL SOLVE
YOUR EVERY PROBLEM ♪

♪ IF YOU'LL ONLY LET HIM
HAVE HIS WAY. ♪

♪

♪ ONCE I WALKED
THE CROWDED HIGHWAY ♪

♪ WITH THE RESTLESS,
CARELESS THRONG ♪

♪ THEN MY HEART WAS SAD
AND WEARY ♪

♪ OF THE JOURNEY
ROUGH AND LONG ♪

[thunder rumbles]

♪ ON THAT ROAD
I MET A STRANGER ♪

♪ AND HE TOOK ME
BY THE HAND ♪

♪ SOON I FOUND
IT WAS THE SAVIOR ♪

♪ HE HAS BEEN
MY DEAREST FRIEND ♪

♪ HE'S THE CHRIST
OF EVERY CRISIS ♪

♪ HE'S THE CHRIST
OF EVERY CRISIS ♪

♪ HE IS JUST THE SAME TODAY ♪

♪ HE WILL SOLVE
YOUR EVERY PROBLEM ♪

♪ IF YOU'LL ONLY LET HIM
HAVE HIS WAY. ♪♪

♪ IF YOU'LL ONLY LET HIM
HAVE HIS WAY. ♪♪

THANK YOU, CHOIR,

FOR THAT TREMENDOUS MUSIC
THAT YOU HAVE FURNISHED.

NOW I WANT YOU TO TURN WITH ME
TO THE BOOK OF ACTS.

THE FIRST CHAPTER,
BEGINNING AT VERSE NINE.

[whispering]
BOOK OF ACTS,
FIRST CHAPTER.

AND IT SAYS THIS,

"AND WHEN HE HAD SPOKEN
THESE WORDS..."

TRY THE INDEX!

"...WHILE THEY BEHELD,
HE WAS TAKEN UP,

"AND A CLOUD RECEIVED HIM
OUT OF THEIR SIGHT."

YOU KNOW, WE'RE HEARING
A GREAT DEAL TODAY

ABOUT THE POSSIBILITY
OF THE END OF THE WORLD.

AND IN THE BOOK REVIEW SECTION

SOME TIME AGO
OF THE NEW YORK TIMES,

THERE WAS AN ARTICLE

AND IT LISTED SOME OF
THE CURRENT BOOKS

THAT ARE BEING SOLD TODAY.

[Billy Graham's voice
begins to fade out]

HERE'S ONE OF THEM...

"NO PLACE TO HIDE."

[crowd cheering at
football game]

THAT BY THE END
OF THIS CENTURY,

THERE WILL BE NO HUMAN RACE,

AND THERE ARE MANY PEOPLE,
INTELLECTUALS, TODAY,

THAT ACTUALLY BELIEVE THAT.

NOW, I KNOW THAT THERE ARE
A GREAT MANY PEOPLE

THAT SAY THAT THIS IS NOT TRUE,

AND THERE WAS A DISCUSSION
IN A MAGAZINE SOME TIME AGO

BETWEEN DR. ARNOLD J. TOYNBEE
AND DR. AMOS N. WILDER

AND DR. C.S. LEWIS
BEFORE HE DIED,

PROFESSOR AT CAMBRIDGE,

AND THEY DISCUSSED
THE POSSIBILITY

OF THE COMING OF CHRIST
AND THE HOPE OF THE WORLD

[thunder rumbles]

AND DR. C.S. LEWIS SAID...

NOW I DON'T KNOW WHETHER
IT'S GONNA RAIN OR NOT!

I'M NOT GOING TO PUT ON
MY COAT YET,

BUT IT LOOKS LIKE
A FEW DROPS

MAY BE FALLING.

IS THAT WHERE YOUR WEATHER
COMES FROM,

RIGHT THERE?

WELL, IF IT IS,
IT'S GONNA RAIN!

BUT YOU JUST PUT ON
WHATEVER YOU HAVE

AND HUDDLE UP CLOSE
TO YOUR WIFE.

MAYBE IT'S THE FIRST TIME
YOU'VE HUDDLED IN A LONG TIME.

CAN I SHARE
YOUR HUDDLER?

BUT YOU GET AS COMFORTABLE
AS YOU CAN,

AND I'LL MAKE MY SERMON
JUST AS SHORT AS POSSIBLE.

IN FACT, I MAY MAKE IT
REAL SHORT!

[laughter]

BUT YOU KNOW, IN ENGLAND,
IT WAS A VERY INTERESTING THING.

WE HAD A STADIUM IN ENGLAND
THAT'S NAMED WEMBLEY STADIUM.

I THINK IT'S THE LARGEST STADIUM
IN THE WORLD.

AND WE TOOK IT

FOR AN ENTIRE WEEK,

AND THE BRITISH PEOPLE
THOUGHT WE WERE CRAZY.

AND IT POURED RAIN
EVERY SINGLE SERVICE!

EXCEPT THE LAST ONE.

AND DID YOU KNOW
THAT WE AVERAGED SIX...

WELL, WE NEVER HAD A CROWD
LESS THAN 60,000,

SITTING IN THE RAIN,

AND WHEN I ASKED THEM
TO COME FORWARD,

THEY WOULD SINK UP
OVER THEIR ANKLES IN MUD!

IF THE BRITISH CAN DO IT,
THE PEOPLE OF DENVER CAN DO IT.

WELL, THEY'RE NUTS
IF THEY DO.

ONLY A FANATIC
WOULD STAY OUT IN THIS.

MMM.

LADY, I'M YOUR SLAVE.

COULDN'T WE NEGOTIATE
A CIVILIZED ARRANGEMENT?

YOU'RE OUT OF ROAST,
THERE'S PLENTY.

I JUST ABOUT HAD
THE OLD STOMACH
SNOWED ON THE IDEA

EVERYBODY ATE BEANS
AND FRANKS.

NOT TOO MUCH ACTIVITY
OVER THERE.

HEY, RONNIE,

FATHER
UNDER THE WEATHER?

ARE YOU SICK, DAD.

NO, I'M NOT SICK.

LITTLE HEADACHE MAYBE.

JUST LAY OFF ME, LEO!

IS HE ALWAYS
THIS IRRITABLE?

MY DEAR, YOU DO HAVE
A PROBLEM.

HORSE RADISH?

NO, THANK YOU.

HEY, UNCLE LEO,
WE GOT HOMEMADE ICE CREAM.

GREAT, RONNIE.

WHY DON'T YOU BRING
YOUR UNCLE LEO

THE WHOLE GALLON?

I SHOULD GET PNEUMONIA
LISTENING TO GRAHAM.

NOW PETE, IF YOU GOTTA BE
DOWN ON SOMEBODY,

HOW 'BOUT YOUR MAN UPSTAIRS?

I THOUGHT THE WEATHER
WAS IN HIS POCKET.

♪

(Pete) WELL, WILL YOU
LOOK AT THAT?

MAN, THERE'S NOT A CLOUD
IN THAT SKY.

[sighs]

WELL, WHY DID HE LET IT RAIN?

I DON'T KNOW.

PETE, DO YOU THINK MAYBE
WE SHOULD TRY

AND FIND A CHURCH
NOW THAT THE CRUSADE'S OVER?

THE WAY GRAHAM SAID?

WELL, WHAT ARE WE,
BAPTISTS?

CATHOLICS, PRESBYTERIANS?

METHODISTS, WHAT ARE WE?

I DON'T KNOW.

WE'D NEVER LIVE LONG ENOUGH
TO CHECK 'EM ALL OUT.

WELL, WE GOT A LITTLE WET
TODAY, LORD.

WE MUST HAVE GOTTEN
OUR SIGNALS MIXED.

LEO...

LOOK, LET'S JUST
FORGET ABOUT LAST
NIGHT, ALL RIGHT?

WHO REMEMBERS?

YEAH, WELL, I GUESS
I WAS WAY OFF-BASE.

LOOK, PETE,

I'M ALL FOR YOU
PASSING ON WHATEVER
YOU THINK YOU'VE GOT,

BUT THERE'S
NO TAKERS HERE,
SOMEWHERE ELSE, HUH?

LOOK, WE MOVED OVER
30,000 GALLONS LAST MONTH,

BUDDY, WE'RE MAKING IT.

ANOTHER YEAR LIKE
WE'RE HAVING NOW,

YOU CAN SWING
A HEFTY DOWN ON ONE OF

THOSE ALL-ELECTRIC
MANSIONS IN ROYAL PARK,

AND HAVE A REAL GOOD
CHANCE OF KEEPING IT!

LOOK, MORE
PARTNERSHIPS BREAK UP

BECAUSE OF SOME
OUTSIDE STRAIN.

LEO, I HAPPEN TO
READ YOU,

BUT YOU'RE LOOKING AT
THIS THING ALL WRONG.

YOU HAVE JUST DECIDED THAT
THIS IS SOME KIND OF A KICK

THAT MARGE AND I ARE ON.

NO, I DIDN'T...

IGNORE IT.

LOOK, I DON'T CARE
WHAT YOU DO OFF THE JOB.

JUST KEEP IT OUTTA HERE.

WILL YOU LET ME FINISH
FOR A MINUTE?

ALL RIGHT.

AH!

YOU REMEMBER THAT
GREAT INSURANCE DEAL

THAT YOU STUMBLED
ONTO LAST YEAR?

YEAH.

ALL RIGHT, NOW,
WHO WAS THE FIRST GUY

THAT YOU STEERED
INTO IT?

ME!

SO WHAT?

WELL, THIS IS WHAT
I'M TRYING TO PUT
OVER TO YOU!

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED
TO MARGE AND I!

WE'VE JUST STUMBLED ONTO
BEING CHRISTIANS.

IT'S NOTHING WE PLANNED,
IT JUST HAPPENED.

WAIT A MINUTE!

THAT COMPARISON
DOESN'T HOLD UP.

THAT'S A MAIN-LINE COMPANY
WITH 75 YEARS EXPERIENCE

IS BACKING THAT POLICY.

WELL, GOD'S BEEN
IN BUSINESS A FEW
YEARS, TOO, YA KNOW?

HOW DID GOD
GET IN HERE?

BOY, YOU TRY TO DO
A GUY A FAVOR.

DO ME A FAVOR, BUDDY!

DON'T DO ME ANY FAVORS!

AH!

♪

YOU WANNA
FILL 'ER UP?

HI-TEST.

OKAY.

DROP THAT THING
IN HERE, WE GOT
A READY-MADE MISSILE.

YOU KNOW SOMETHING
ABOUT BIKES, MAN?

OH, I'M IN, I'M OUT.

SHE'LL TAKE UH,
THREE AND NINE-TENTHS.

YOU WOULDN'T WANT TO
TRY FOR FOUR?

NO, SHE TAKES
FOUR AND A TENTH,

BUT I ALWAYS LET
THE OTHER TWO-TENTHS RIDE.

[pump dings]

AH, NICE BIKE.

WHAT'S SHE GOT?
ABOUT 250 CC?

250 CC.

FIVE-GEAR BOX.

'BOUT TWENTY HORSE, HUH?

TWENTY-SEVEN
AT 75 HUNDRED

SHE STARTS MOVING OUT

WHEN I TACK AROUND
FOUR-AND-A HALF GRAND.

SKIP, SKIP RILEY.

HARVEY,
HARVEY JOHNSON.

GOOD TO KNOW YOU.

WHAT DO YOU RIDE, MAN?

I'LL SHOW YOU.

THERE.

WOW, MAN,
THAT'S NICE.

HEY, PETE, SKIP RILEY.

PETE HARPER.

SKIP?

UH, SORRY,
I'M IN A RUSH.

HOW LONG YOU
HAD IT, MAN?

OH, 'BOUT TWO YEARS.

GOT A SUICIDE CLUTCH.

TAKES OFF LIKE
A BOMB.

HEY, HARVEY!

WE'RE NOT RUNNING
A PARKING LOT.

WELL, DUTY CALLS.

[motorcycle engine revs]

WE DON'T WANT THOSE
TWO-BIT A WEEK

BUZZ BOMBS AROUND HERE,
HARVEY.

THEY'RE NOTHING BUT
TROUBLE.

IT'S YOUR FRIENDLY
NEIGHBORHOOD SERVICE STATION.

OH, NO.

HI, HONEY!

YOU'RE HOME EARLY.

[sighs]

OH, WE HAD A SLOW MORNING.

WE'RE TRIPPING ALL OVER
EACH OTHER DOWN THERE.

SO I TOOK OFF EARLY.

YOU AND LEO STILL
BARKING AT EACH OTHER?

NO, NO MORE THAN USUAL.

HEY, WHAT'S ALL THIS?

OH, I HAD AN URGE
TO GET MY HANDS DIRTY.

YOU KNOW,
THESE ROSES AREN'T IN
THE RIGHT PLACE AT ALL.

THESE BUSHES HAVEN'T
BLOOMED IN TWO YEARS...

LOOK AT THESE TIRE MARKS!

...STRAGGLY...
I THINK WE SHOULD...

FRED COCHRAN!

...MOVE 'EM OVER THERE.

LOOK, HE DELIBERATELY
WIPED OUT OUR ROSES!

I'LL BET HE DIDN'T EVEN
GOT A FLAT!

YES, BUT IT'S EASY TO
SLIP OFF A DRIVEWAY
THIS NARROW.

IT COULD HAPPEN
TO ANYBODY.

YEAH, BUT HE MADE IT
HAPPEN TO US!

THAT'S THAT SNEAKY
COCHRAN WAY!

WILL YOU BE BACK
FOR LUNCH?

I'M IN THE MARKET
FOR ROSE BUSHES, HONEY,

WITH THE BIGGEST,
PRICKLIEST THORNS,

LIKE SPEARS,
I'M LOOKING FOR...

SAVE ME A SANDWICH!

♪

MARGE, HONEY, I'M HOME!

WE'RE IN THE LIVING ROOM,
DARLING!

I LOST A LITTLE BLOOD

CHECKING THESE BUSHES OUT
DOWN AT THE NURSERY,

BUT THESE ARE WICKED!

I, UH, I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET
MY HUSBAND, PETE HARPER.

PETE, THIS IS
REVEREND WESTON.

UH, HOW DO YOU DO?

WATCH THE BARBED WIRE.

WE DON'T USUALLY KEEP IT
IN THE LIVING ROOM.

YOU KNOW THAT
COMMUNITY CHURCH
UP ON HILLSIDE?

WELL,
REVEREND WESTON HAS IT,

AND HE'D LIKE US
TO COME ON SUNDAY.

OH, WELL, WELL, MAYBE WE CAN
SOME SUNDAY.

THAT'D BE FINE.

I NEVER THOUGHT OF A MINISTER
AS HAVING TO DRUM UP BUSINESS.

[chuckling]

I WAS KIND OF HOPING
YOU WOULDN'T NOTICE.

GRACE COMMUNITY
IS MY FIRST PASTORATE.

WE RECEIVED A REFERRAL CARD
FROM THE GRAHAM CRUSADE

SAYING YOU PEOPLE
LIVED IN THE AREA

AND SEEING THERE WAS
NO CHURCH PREFERENCE INDICATED

I DECIDED TO COME
LOOKING FOR YOU.

UH, WELL,
VISITING SOME SUNDAY

DOESN'T MEAN
WE HAVE TO JOIN, DOES IT?

UH, NO, NO,
THERE'S NO PRESSURE.

LET'S JUST GET
ACQUAINTED.

AS CHRISTIANS,
WE'RE HERE TO HELP EACH OTHER.

I, UH...

I SEE YOU'RE
A ROSE FANCIER,
MR. HARPER.

UH...

HE, UH, HE GROWS THEM
FOR THE THORNS, MOSTLY.

♪

[Pete sighs]

BOY, I NEVER COULD
SLEEP WITH THE LIGHTS ON.

[chuckling]

I USED TO STAY A LOT
WITH THIS COUSIN OF MINE

WHO HAD EVERY KIND
OF NIGHT LIGHT IN THE WORLD

PLUGGED IN BY HIS BED.

MAN, WAS HE WIRED!

OH, PETE, HUSH, PLEASE!

I CAN SEE THE HEADLINES NOW:

"MAN SUFFOCATES
IN HIS OWN BED."

PETE, THAT LIGHT
WOULDN'T BE OUT THERE

IF YOU HADN'T STRUNG UP
ALL THAT SILLY BARBED WIRE.

IT'S SO CHILDISH.

[chuckling]

BOY, IN OR OUT OF
THAT DRIVEWAY,

OLD FREDDY IS
RUNNING SCARED.

IF WE'RE GONNA
GO ON LIKE THIS,

WE MIGHT AS WELL
GET READY FOR
CHURCH NOW.

CHURCH?

IT'S SUNDAY,
WE PROMISED.

NOT FOR SURE,
WE DIDN'T.

BESIDES, WE DIDN'T SAY
WHICH SUNDAY.

WHAT DAY WAS THAT
MINISTER GUY HERE?

THE MIDDLE OF THE WEEK!

WEDNESDAY!

OKAY, OKAY,

HE'S HAD THREE DAYS
TO HUSTLE SINCE THEN.

HE'S NOT GONNA MISS US.

WHAT ARE YOU
BABBLING ABOUT?

LOOK, THAT GUY'S NEW
AT HIS CHURCH, RIGHT?

SO THEY PROBABLY TOOK HIM
ON APPROVAL.

NOW WHAT MAKES
ANY MINISTER LOOK GOOD?

NEW MEMBERS?

AH-HA! THAT'S WHERE
YOU AND I COME IN.

WELL, THEN,
WE'LL HELP HIM OUT.

WE'LL GO.

[kissing]

PLEASE, HONEY,
JUST THIS ONCE.

OH...

HOW AM I GONNA
STAY AWAKE?

♪ FROM THE BURNING
OF THE NOON DAY HEAT ♪

♪ AND THE BURDEN
OF THE DAY ♪

♪ AMEN ♪♪

WHAT'S NEXT, DAD?

THE SERMON.

MY TEXT THIS MORNING
IS FROM THE FIRST CHAPTER...

I THINK HE'S GOT US
SPOTTED.

...THE TWENTY-SECOND VERSE.

"HE TAUGHT THEM
AS ONE WHO HAD AUTHORITY,

"AND NOT AS THE SCRIBE."

THERE ARE MANY VOICES
SPEAKING TO US TODAY,

WANTING RECOGNITION

AS AN AUTHORITY FIGURE,

MOM?

COMMANDING OUR ALLEGIANCE.

WILL YOU GIVE ME THAT,
PLEASE?

THIS IS AN EXISTENTIAL
PROBLEM FOR ALL OF US

WHO LIVE IN THIS MODERN AGE

WITH ITS UNBELIEVABLE
COMPLEXITIES.

MY THESIS THIS MORNING IS THAT

ONLY IN CHRIST
AS PROCLAIMED IN THE GOS-,

THE UH, THE NEW TESTAMENT,

CAN WE FIND
AN AUTHORITATIVE VOICE

WHICH SPEAKS CLEARLY TO US.

IN ORDER TO TRULY APPRECIATE,

TO GRASP THE FULL MEANING OF
THE KERIGMA,

OR PROCLAMATION OF CHRIST
AS LORD,

WE MUST HAVE SOME
UNDERSTANDING OF THE

MYTHOLOGICAL SYSTEMS

OF THE PRE-SCIENTIFIC,
HELLENISTIC AGE.

TRADITIONALLY, THIS HAS BEEN
DONE BY FIRST THE APOSTLES,

THEN LATER BY THE DIACONUS,
THE TEACHERS,

AND FINALLY BY ALL OF US
WHO MAKE UP THE ECCLESIAT,

OR THE CHURCH.

BASICALLY WE ARE INVOLVED IN
DETERMINING

WHAT THE CITZIUM LEVAM IS
FOR THE EVENTS

SURROUNDING THE LIFE AND
TEACHINGS OF JESUS.

WHY SHOULD WE LISTEN TO CHRIST
ABOVE ALL OTHER VOICES?

THERE ARE THREE REASONS

WHICH I WOULD LIKE TO
DISCUSS WITH YOU.

BRIEFLY THEY ARE...

HE'S NO BILLY GRAHAM.

THE SINGING WAS NICE.

HONEY, THAT'S
NO PLACE FOR US.

WELL, MAYBE WE SHOULDN'T
DECIDE SO QUICKLY.

THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE ALWAYS
SAYING ABOUT STATIONS HERE.

THAT YOU SHOULD
TRADE SOMEWHERE
SIX MONTHS OR SO

BEFORE YOU RATE
THE SERVICE?

WHY SHOULD THIS
BE ANY DIFFERENT?

HOW 'BOUT ALL
THOSE FIVE DOLLAR WORDS?

YOU NEED A BIBLE
IN ONE HAND

AND A DICTIONARY
IN THE OTHER.

IF YOU DON'T MOW
THE LAWN TODAY,

YOU'LL HATE YOURSELF
NEXT WEEK.

[motorcycles drive by]

SUPPOSE THAT'S
THE SAME BUNCH WE
GOT A CALL ON EARLIER?

WELL, EVERYBODY'S
AWAKE FOR SIX BLOCKS
IN ANY DIRECTION,

CRAZY KIDS.

LET'S CHECK 'EM OUT.

♪

[siren blares]

PETE! WHAT'S THE MATTER!
WHAT'S THE MATTER!

I'M MOWIN' THE YARD.

HUH?

I'M GONNA MOW THE YARD!

[whispering]
MOW THE YARD?

PETE, IT'S ALMOST
MIDNIGHT!

WHAT DO YOU MEAN
YOU'RE GONNA MOW
THE YARD?

YOU'VE HAD SOME
WACKY THOUGHTS
IN YOUR LIFE,

BUT THIS TAKES
THE CAKE!

WELL, WE'VE GOT PLENTY OF LIGHT
TO WORK BY!

LISTEN, IF I DON'T SLEEP,
HE DOESN'T SLEEP!

[door slams]

LOOK, WHY DON'T YOU
JUST BOOK ME?

I TELL YOU,
MY FOLKS WERE OUT,

YOU'RE JUST WASTING
YOUR TIME.

WE'RE JUST TRYING
TO HELP YOU OUT, SON.

IF YOU'RE NOT SMART ENOUGH
TO KNOW IT.

NOBODY'S ANXIOUS
TO SET YOU UP WITH A RECORD.

IT'S A LABEL
THAT DOESN'T COME UNSTUCK.

LEMME SEE YOUR LICENSE AGAIN.

EIGHTEEN NEXT MONTH.

YOU'RE OUTTA SCHOOL?

YEAH, WAY OUT.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO
EXPLAIN THAT?

I QUIT LAST YEAR!

THAT FIGURES.

[dispatcher]
ANY UNIT IN THE VICINITY
OF 4427 TENNYSON,

INVESTIGATE A 415.

4400 BLOCK ON TENNYSON.

IT'S ONLY 'BOUT
5 MINUTES AWAY,
I THINK I'LL SWING BY.

WHERE DO YOU WORK?

AROUND,
DIFFERENT JOBS.

PUNCHING THE CLOCK
AT UNEMPLOYMENT, HUH?

YEAH, RIGHT.

WELL, I SEE IT,
BUT I DON'T BELIEVE IT.

(Skip) HEY, PETE!

PETE! SKIP RILEY!

WHAT IS IT A PARTY
OR SOMETHING?

IT FIGURES.

WHAT?

THAT THEY KNOW
EACH OTHER.

YOU KNOW, SOMETHING, HARV,
THAT KID'S BAD NEWS.

HE'S SET UP FOR A SERIOUS
TANGLE WITH THE LAW.

SOMEBODY OUGHTA KNOCK
SOME SENSE INTO HIM.

MAYBE THAT'S WHAT
HE FIGURES,
EVERYBODY'S KNOCKING.

I GOT A HUNCH OL' SKIP
IS JUST ITCHING

FOR SOMEBODY
TO PROVE HIM WRONG.

[car door closes]

HOW YOU DOIN',
FELLAS?

HI YA.

WELL, WHAT'D YOU THINK
OF THE SERVICE YESTERDAY,

MR. HARPER?

EXCUSE ME.

COME ON,
DON'T HOLD BACK.

I CAME IN FOR
YOUR HONEST IMPRESSION.

UH...

ALL RIGHT.

I CAN SEE THAT PERHAPS
MINISTERS DO TOSS AROUND

A LOT OF TERMS
THAT WE ASSUME ARE UNDERSTOOD.

AT LEAST THIS ONE DOES...

AND I'LL WORK ON IT.

BUT YOU CAN COUNT ON
THIS MUCH, MR. HARPER.

YOU HAVE BEEN BORN AGAIN,

AND THAT'S
AN ACCOMPLISHED FACT.

NOW WAIT A MINUTE,

THAT'S WHAT I MEAN,
"BORN AGAIN."

EVERY TIME I HEAR THAT,
I FREEZE UP.

LET'S JUST SAY YOU'VE HAD
A NEW BIRTH IN YOUR LIFE,

A SPIRITUAL BIRTH.

THIS THING THAT'S
HAPPENED TO YOU,

IT'S GONNA TAKE,
IT'S GONNA TAKE CARE,

IT'S GONNA TAKE
THE RIGHT KIND OF NOURISHMENT,

AND WITH THAT,
IT'S GONNA TAKE TIME,

TIME FOR YOU TO GROW.

THE FIRST HURDLE
YOU'RE GONNA COME TO
IS THAT, UH,

WE DON'T TAKE VERY NATURALLY TO
OUR SPIRITUAL SIDE

SO YOU CAN KIND OF
EXPECT A STRUGGLE.

BIRTH AND GROWING PAINS
GO HAND IN HAND.

THAT'S QUITE A MOUTHFUL.

HOW DO I DO
ALL THAT?

THE VERSES YOU WERE GIVEN
AT THE GRAHAM CRUSADE,

THEY'RE MEANT TO
START YOU ON YOUR WAY,

GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO HANG
YOUR EXPERIENCES ON.

NOW, THERE'LL BE A LOT
OF THINGS IN CHURCH

YOU WON'T UNDERSTAND
RIGHT OFF, BUT DON'T LET
THAT THROW YOU.

THAT'S A MEAT DIET,

AND YOU'RE NOT READY FOR
ANYTHING SOLID YET.

HEY, HOW COME YOU DON'T
TALK LIKE THIS SUNDAYS?

♪

♪

MAY I HELP YOU?

MY HUSBAND...
PLEASE CALL.

EMERGENCY,
DEPARTMENT 10.

LISTEN YOU,

THERE'S A WOMAN
BLEEDING TO DEATH
DOWN HERE!

MARGE?

[sniffs]

MOM? THIS IS PETE.

LISTEN, MARGE IS
IN THE HOSPITAL.

THEY UH, SAID THAT
SHE HAS A UH,

SHE HAS A RUPTURED ULCER.

NO, THEY'RE OPERATING
ON HER RIGHT NOW.

YEAH, SHE WAS HEMORRHAGING.

WELL, WHO KNOWS FOR HOW LONG?

LOOK, I CAN'T, I CAN'T
GO INTO IT NOW, MOM,

I'VE GOT TO GET
BACK UP THERE.

BUT HOW SOON
CAN YOU GET A BUS?

MOM, IT'S BEEN SHORT NOTICE
ALL THE WAY AROUND, I KNOW,

BUT WE NEED YOU HERE
TO HELP US.

MOM, I'M NOT GONNA
TALK ANYMORE.

I'LL TALK TO YOU
WHEN YOU GET HERE.

ALL RIGHT, 'BYE.

OH...JESUS.

JESUS, WE GOT TROUBLES.

MR. HARPER!

SHE MANAGED IT FINE.

DOC, HOW DO YOU GO
FROM AN OCCASIONAL
STOMACHACHE

TO A MESS LIKE THIS?

WELL, SILENT ULCERS
WORK THAT WAY, MR. HARPER.

THEIR SYMPTOMS
ARE OFTEN OBSCURED.

IF YOUR WIFE ISN'T
A COMPLAINER,

SHE'S POSSIBLY
IGNORED THOSE WARNING
SIGNALS FOR YEARS.

HERE, SIT DOWN FOR A MINUTE.

SEE, THERE WAS A HOLE OH,
'BOUT THE SIZE OF A DIME

IN THE MUCOSA,

THAT'S THE LINING
OF THE STOMACH.

YEAH.

WELL, WE REMOVED THE AREA.

SINCE I HAPPENED TO BE
IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD,

I CUT THE TWO VAGUS NERVES.

THEY'RE FACTORS
IN ULCER FORMATION.

SO A REOCCURRENCE
ISN'T LIKELY.

SIMPLY A MATTER NOW
OF KINDA...

WELL, THERE'S SIMPLY
A QUESTION OF CONVALESCENCE

AND MEDICAL TREATMENT
WHILE SHE'S HERE.

I SEE, WELL,
HOW, HOW, UH...

HOW LONG IS SHE
GONNA BE HERE?

(doctor)
SHE SHOULD BE FEELING
PRETTY GOOD

IN A WEEK TO TEN DAYS.

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

IT CAN'T BE THAT GOOD!

OH, IT IS, IT IS.

I MUST HAVE A PART MISSING.

I TRIED TO READ
THE BIBLE ONCE.

IT WAS UPHILL ALL THE WAY,
NOTHING.

YEAH.

NOW IF ANYBODY SAID TO ME
A YEAR AGO,

HOW 'BOUT READING THE BIBLE?

I'D HAVE WANTED
TO RUN AND HIDE, TOO.

DID I TAKE YOUR TEMPERATURE
THIS MORNING?

YEAH.

A YEAR AGO, HUH?

SO...

WELL...

LAST FALL I TOOK
A GOOD HARD LOOK AT MY...

I SHOULD SAY,
MY LACK OF BELIEF.

I MEAN,
IT SEEMED IMPOSSIBLE.

GOD, WHEREVER HE WAS...

HE WAS REMOTE,
TO SAY THE LEAST.

THEN WE WENT TO HEAR
BILLY GRAHAM.

HE SAID IT WAS SOMETHING
THAT WOULD HAPPEN,

INSIDE OF YOU,

CHRIST WAS LIKE THE KEY.

SO, I SAID,

"GOD, WHEREVER YOU ARE
IN THAT GREAT BEYOND SOMEWHERE,

"GET IN TOUCH."

I'M JOKING,
BUT I MEANT IT.

THEN I KINDA HUNG AROUND
TO SEE WHAT WOULD HAPPEN.

SO, WHAT HAPPENED
ALREADY?

OH, PLENTY.

HEY, THANKS FOR
COVERING FOR ME, HARV,

I'LL BE BACK
AS QUICK AS I CAN.

TAKE YOUR TIME!

SAY HI TO MARGE!

SORRY, SIR,
THAT BED'S OCCUPIED.

HONEY, YOU'RE WALKING.

DOES THE DOC KNOW?

WELL, IT'S GOTTA
HAPPEN SOME TIME!

OH, I MUST HAVE
"CAUTION--BREAKABLE"

WRITTEN ALL OVER ME.

HEY, SKINNY.

[giggling]

HEY, THE CURTAIN!
THE CURTAIN!

BEATS T.V.

MMM.

OH, SO KIND OF YOU
TO RESCUE ME FOR A NIGHT.

LET'S SCRAM
THIS ANTISEPTIC PRISON.

OH, HONEY, I'D LOVE TO,
YOU KNOW THAT.

JUST 'TIL THAT WICKED WITCH
COMES ON HER ROUNDS.

SHE KEEPS STUFFING ME
WITH CUSTARD.

ONE OF THESE DAYS,
I'M GONNA CURDLE.

PETE, WHAT'D YOU HAVE
FOR BREAKFAST?

DON'T SPARE ME
ANY OF THE GREASY DETAILS.

UH, SAUSAGE.

MOM MADE US
SAUSAGE AND WAFFLES.

LUNCH...
WHAT ABOUT LUNCH?

(Pete) UH, LUNCH, I HAD
THE "BUSINESSMAN'S SPECIAL."

SAUERKRAUT AND KNOCKWURST.

HEY! WHAT'S GOING ON
IN THERE?

[whispering]
THE WICKED WITCH!

I HEARD THAT.

HERE'S YOUR DINNER.

NOW YOU PUT
THAT THERE

WHERE IT'LL DO
THE MOST GOOD,

YOUNG LADY.

OR YOU WON'T GET
YOUR GOLD STAR.

MIGHT HAVE A LITTLE
HEART-TO-HEART TALK

WITH YOUR WIFE,
MR. HARPER.

SHE CAN USE ALL
THE GOLD STARS
SHE CAN GET.

EAT!

[door closes]

MMM, DOESN'T THAT
LOOK GOOD?

LIAR!

OH! I ALMOST FORGOT
SOMETHING.

THIS CAME IN THE MAIL
THIS MORNING.

WE GRADUATED!

THIS IS TO CERTIFY
THAT MR. AND MRS.
PETER HARPER

HAVE COMPLETED
THE LESSONS IN MY
PERSONAL BIBLE STUDY

CORRESPONDENCE
COURSE, AND IT'S
SIGNED BILLY GRAHAM!

I DON'T THINK
HE REALLY SIGNED IT,

BUT IT'S NICE, HUH?

NICE ENOUGH TO FRAME?

THAT GETS US OVER
ONE HURDLE.

YEAH, I FIGURE THE LORD
STUCK WITH US.

I MARKED SOMETHING.

WELL, LISTEN, I'LL READ IT
IF YOU EAT.

"WHOEVER LOSES
HIS LIFE FOR MY SAKE
SHALL FIND IT"?

THAT, THAT SEEMED LIKE
DOUBLE TALK AT FIRST.

I TOLD THE LORD
IT WAS CONFUSING.

I DIDN'T GET WHAT
HE WAS DRIVING AT.

AND THEN THIS MORNING
I WAS STEWING ABOUT IT AGAIN.

IT WAS LIKE THE FOG LIFTED.

I, I THINK
IT'S LIKE THIS.

YOU'RE NOT REALLY FREE UNTIL
YOU GIVE YOUR LIFE TO CHRIST.

I MEAN HONESTLY,
WITHOUT ANY
STRINGS ATTACHED.

THEN WHEN YOU DO,

THAT'S WHEN YOU REALLY
START LIVING.

THAT'S WHERE
THE LIVING IS.

SO YOU GOTTA...

YOU GOTTA LOSE IT
TO FIND IT, HUH?

YEAH.

HEY, YOU WANNA
BE ONE OF THEM
LADY PREACHERS

ON THE RADIO?

[laughing]

A KIND OF WILD THING
HAPPENED TO ME YESTERDAY.

I WAS, UH, WRESTLING
WITH THIS TIRE,

AND I SMACKED MY THUMB
A LITTLE WHOMP WITH A WRENCH,

AND OL' HARVEY MENTIONED
THAT THE AIR

DIDN'T EVEN TURN BLUE.

THAT'S FUNNY,

HE HAD TO TELL ME THAT.

ANYWAY, SWEARING'S ALWAYS
BEEN LIKE BREATHING TO ME,

YOU KNOW?

I GUESS YOUR OLD MAN'S
FINDING

DIFFERENT WAYS
TO LET OFF STEAM, HUH?

WELL, IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL,

BUT I GUESS MAYBE
SOMETHING'S GOIN' ON.

HEY, ARE YOU BAWLIN'?

HONEY, DON'T BAWL.

I CAN IF I WANT TO.

OH, YEAH, THE NAVY'S
A GREAT REFERENCE,

BUT I HAVEN'T GOT
A HIGH SCHOOL DIPLOMA.

I'M DEAD TO ENLIST.

YOU KNOW WHAT I'D REALLY
LIKE TO DO, MAN?

I'D LIKE TO GO TO
OFFICER'S TRAINING.

UH-HUH?

I GUESS I GET
SLAMMED NO MATTER
HOW I LOOK AT IT.

WELL, WHY DON'T YOU
GET BACK IN THE GAME?

SCHOOL!

OH, MAN, ALL THOSE
KIDDIE-TYPES RUNNING AROUND.

THAT'S A DRAG.

WELL, MAYBE THE ARMY'LL
FIND SOMETHING FOR YOU.

NO, THE ARMY JUST
GIVES YOU A NUMBER.

AND THAT'S THAT SAME OLD
SCHOOL SCENE ALL OVER AGAIN.

MAN, WHEN I'M ON MY BIKE,
THAT'S REAL.

I'M NOBODY'S NUMBER.

YOU FIGURING TO TAKE ON
THE WHOLE WORLD?

MAYBE WE'LL JUST
IGNORE EACH OTHER.

OH...MAN...

I USED TO WALK THAT STREET,

BUT BETWEEN THE ROADBLOCKS
AND THE DEAD ENDS,

MAN, I WAS ALWAYS UPTIGHT.

YOU GOTTA
DEAL WITH IT, MAN,

THERE IS
NO PLACE TO HIDE.

WHAT DO YOU THINK
ABOUT THIS?

♪ IT'S NOT EASIEST CHOICE
YOU CAN MAKE ♪

♪

♪ IT'S PLAYING FOR KEEPS,
WITH A WHOLE LOT AT STAKE ♪

HEY, MAN,

DID I TELL YOU I GOT NAILED
LAST WEEK FOR PIPES?

THERE MUST HAVE BEEN
ABOUT TWENTY OF US.

AND ALL OF A SUDDEN,

BEFORE THAT HIGHWAY PATROL COULD
DO HIS LITTLE OL' PAPERWORK

BAM-O, MAN!

THAT WAS THE BIGGEST SOUND
YOU EVER HEARD

IN YOUR WHOLE LIFE.

AND OUT OF THAT TWENTY GUYS,
THEY GOT ME.

LOOKS LIKE YOU GOT
A LIVE ONE, HARV.

(Pete) YEE-HA!

HARV! HEY, HARVEY!

HEY, MAN,

HI, SKIP!

BOY, SHE IS RUNNING AROUND
THAT HOSPITAL

AND THEY CAN'T EVEN
KEEP TRACK OF HER.

DOCTOR,
MAY I PLEASE, PLEASE,
GO HOME THIS FRIDAY?

CHRISTMAS EVE?

AREN'T YOU TIRED OF
LOOKING AT ME?

BESIDES YOU SAID
THERE WAS A
POSSIBILITY OF

MY GETTING OUT OF HERE
BETWEEN CHRISTMAS AND
NEW YEAR'S.

A "POSSIBILITY."

WELL, THREE OR FOUR
DAYS SOONER, THAT'S
ALL I'M ASKING.

I SWEAR, I WON'T CHEAT
ON MY DIET.

I KNOW HOW IMPORTANT
THAT IS...I'LL...

...BE A MODEL PATIENT.

I REPEAT, MRS. HARPER,
I'VE BEEN WORKED ON BY EXPERTS.

THE GAME GETS QUITE INTENSE
THIS TIME OF YEAR.

WE CALL IT "HOLIDAYITIS."

IT'S NOT JUST A MATTER
OF THE HOLIDAYS

AND WANTING TO BE HOME.

THIS IS OUR FIRST REAL
CHRISTMAS TOGETHER,

AND I DON'T WANT TO
MISS ANY PART OF IT.

WELL, I WAS UNDER
THE IMPRESSION

THAT CHRISTMAS
COMES EVERY YEAR
ABOUT THIS TIME.

'COURSE, I COULD BE WRONG.

NO...

WE'VE ALWAYS LIVED ON
THE EDGE OF CHRISTMAS.

THAT, THAT TINSELLY,
FRANTIC PART OF IT,

WITH THE PILES OF PRESENTS.

MAYBE A VERSE OF
"SILENT NIGHT"

IF WE CAN REMEMBER
THE WORDS.

FUNNY HOW CLOSE
TO THE TRUTH YOU CAN BE

AND STILL MISS IT.

YOU SEE...

A FEW MONTHS AGO,

WE DISCOVERED
WHO JESUS CHRIST REALLY WAS.

THAT, THAT "WE" INCLUDES
MY HUSBAND AND MY SON.

THAT CHRISTMAS
BEING HIS BIRTHDAY.

THAT MAKES IT
A WHOLE NEW THING,

AND I DON'T WANT TO
MISS ANY PART OF IT.

'COURSE IF YOU'RE GONNA BE
STUBBORN AND KEEP ME HERE,

YOU BETTER PLAN ON CHAINING ME
TO THAT BED.

AND IF YOU DO,
I'M GONNA SCREAM FOR HOURS.

I UNDERESTIMATED YOU,
MRS. HARPER.

♪

♪

♪

♪ ...ALL YE FAITHFUL ♪

[Leo's voice drones,
not knowing the words]

♪ JOYFUL AND TRIUMPHANT. ♪

♪ O COME YE,
O COME YE TO BETHLEHEM. ♪

♪ COME AND BEHOLD HIM ♪

♪ BORN THE KING OF ANGELS. ♪

♪ O COME LET US ADORE HIM ♪

♪ O COME LET US ADORE HIM ♪

♪ O COME LET US ADORE HIM ♪

♪ CHRIST THE LORD! ♪♪

YEAH!

THIS STAR'S A BIT
ON THE FRAZZLED SIDE.

IT'S SEEN A LOT
OF CHRISTMASES.

YOU KNOW,
IT WAS THE FIRST THING
ON OUR TREE AT HOME

AND THE LAST THING OFF.

[phone rings]

I'LL GET IT...

OH, NO, YOU'RE SUPPOSED
TO STAY PUT.

I'M NOT HELPLESS.

HELLO?

YEAH.

OH, TAKING THE ORNAMENTS
OFF THE TREE.

WELL, OKAY.

THAT CRAZY HUSBAND
OF YOURS

IS IN THE MOOD
FOR CHOW MEIN.

HE WANTS TO BRING HOME
ONE OF THOSE BOXED SUPPERS

FROM THAT CHINESE KITCHEN.

SURE!

OH, SHE SAID OKAY.

[groaning]

AW!

NOW WHAT'S THE COMMOTION?

SAY, DO YOU KNOW
IF THE BROUGHT IN A MIS-

HEY, I'M HARPER.

IS THAT MY WIFE
YOU GOT THERE?

MARGIE?

SORRY, MR. HARPER,
THERE WAS NOTHING
TO BE DONE.

WHA...?

THE AUTOPSY REPORT
IS JUST ABOUT WHAT WE EXPECTED.

AN ACUTE HEART ATTACK.

A LARGE CLOT BROKE LOOSE
FROM SOMEWHERE.

NOW, A CLOT LIKE THIS
SEPARATES

AS IT MOVES THROUGH
THE SYSTEM,

BLOCKING THE CIRCULATION
TO THE HEART,

INDUCING A MASSIVE CORONARY.

IN YOUR WIFE'S CASE,

OVER ONE-THIRD OF THE HEART WALL
WAS INVOLVED.

WE NEVER KNOW JUST WHAT
CAUSES THESE THINGS,

MR. HARPER.

THEY'RE NEVER PREDICTABLE.

NO MATTER HOW MANY DOCTORS
WERE PRESENT AT THE TIME,

THERE'S NOTHING
WE COULD HAVE DONE.

IF YOUR WIFE HAD SURVIVED,

SHE WOULD HAVE BEEN
A SEMI-INVALID

FOR THE REST OF HER LIFE.

CONSTANT SEDATION,
WATCHING EVERY STEP.

PERHAPS GOD CALLED HER

KNOWING SHE WOULD HAVE BEEN
SENTENCED TO A LIVING DEATH.

♪

LISTEN,
I'LL CALL YOU MAYBE TO-,

TOMORROW NIGHT,
HOW 'BOUT...

HERE.

TAKE GOOD CARE
OF YOUR GRANDMA.

TAKE CARE, MA.

WE'LL MANAGE.

GIMME TIME.

[sobbing]

GIMME A KISS.

(Weston)
TEN MORE MINUTES
AND YOU'D NEED AN ICE PICK

TO GET ME OFF THAT STEP.

THOUGHT YOU MIGHT BE
IN THE MOOD FOR SOME COMPANY.

THERE WAS MAIL
ALL OVER THE PORCH, PETE.

YOU GET A LOT OF UNWELCOME
SYMPATHY WHEN SOMEBODY DIES.

MARGE WAS PREPARED
TO DIE, PETE.

I KNOW THAT DOESN'T
HELP NOW BUT LATER...

MARGE WAS PREPARED
TO LIVE!

ALL RIGHT, I'M WAITING
FOR YOUR NICE, PAT COMEBACK

FROM YOUR LITTLE
MINISTER'S HANDBOOK.

YOU WANT
AN EASY ANSWER?

I DON'T HAVE ONE.

ALL I KNOW IS THAT
BEING BORN...

BEING A PERSON...

IT ALL COMES WITH SOME SORT OF
A PRICE TAG ON IT,

AND SOMEHOW,
SOME PEOPLE JUST SEEM
TO PAY MORE THAN OTHERS.

OH! HOLD IT,
RIGHT THERE, MISTER!

WAIT A MINUTE,
I'M CHOKING ON YOUR WORDS!

SOONER OR LATER,
IT'S GONNA COME OUT THAT

YOU KNOW EXACTLY
HOW I FEEL.

AND THAT'S ALL IT WOULD TAKE
FOR ME TO WIPE YOU OUT.

BOY, I'M ITCHIN' TO STOMP
ON SOMEBODY, AND THE SOONER,

THE LONGER YOU STAY HERE,

THE BETTER I'M GONNA LIKE
THE IDEA.

[sighs deeply]

MAN, I BELIEVED IN HIM,

AND THIS IS THE WAY HE DEALS.

PETE...

DID YOU THINK
BEING A CHRISTIAN

YOU WERE
AUTOMATICALLY ISSUED

AN INSURANCE POLICY
AGAINST TRAGEDY?

THE BIBLE DOESN'T
BACK THAT UP.

CHRIST PROMISED US
NOTHING BUT HIMSELF.

GET CLOSE TO HIM, PETE,

YOU'LL FIND OUT
HE'S ENOUGH.

YOU CAN'T SHAKE HIM NOW,
BROTHER.

YEAH, YOU WATCH ME!

[Marge humming]

[sighs]

HOW'S IT GOING, PETE?

[phone ringing]

[phone ringing]

OH, GLAD YOU COULD
MAKE IT, MAN,

I WAS BEGINNING
TO WONDER.

I'M SORRY, HARV,
I GOT HUNG UP.

WELL, NO SWEAT.

I CAN JUST ABOUT
MAKE IT.

OH, UH, RONNIE CALLED
ABOUT AN HOUR BACK.

DID HE?
HOW IS HE?

WHAT'D YOU SAY?

WELL, HE SAID HE HADN'T
HEARD FROM YOU LATELY.

SAID HE WANTED
TO COME HOME.

SO I SAID, COME AHEAD!

I KNEW YOU WOULDN'T MIND.

HE'LL BE HERE TOMORROW,
4 O'CLOCK.

YOU WHAT?

YEAH.

YOU TOLD HIM TO
COME HOME?

SINCE WHEN DID YOU START
POKING YOUR NOSE

IN OTHER PEOPLE'S
BUSINESS, HARVEY?

LOOK, IF YOU WANT TO
KEEP CUTTING YOURSELF DOWN

TO A BLOODY STUMP,
THAT'S YOUR NONSENSE,

BUT THAT LITTLE BOY
I TALKED TO ON THE PHONE

IS ONE LONELY
LITTLE RABBIT,

AND MAYBE BEFORE YOU
FADE ALTOGETHER,

YOU OUGHTA TRY
MAKING A FEW SOUNDS
LIKE A FATHER!

DAD?

YEAH, SON.

HEAVEN'S A GOOD PLACE
TO BE, ISN'T IT?

I MEAN,
THAT'S WHERE MOM IS.

SURE.

BUT THEN I DON'T GET IT.

GOSH, I MISS MOM
SOMETHING AWFUL, TOO.

I FIGURE IT'S LIKE THIS...

GOD'S BEEN LIVING
IN OUR HOUSE,

NOW MOM'S GONE
TO LIVE IN HIS.

WHEREVER HEAVEN IS,
IT'S GOTTA BE THE NEATEST PLACE.

YEAH, I HEAR YOU.

I SHOULD'VE KNOWN
YOU'D TAKE CARE OF HER.

ONLY, I WONDER IF YOU'D
LET HER KNOW SOMETHING FOR ME.

TELL HER THAT...

TELL HER I'M SORRY
I DIDN'T GET A CHANCE

TO SAY [voice breaks]
GOODBYE.

UH...

OH, BOY, YOU TAKE ME
WHEREVER YOU WANT ME TO GO

AND I'LL, I'LL DO MY BEST
TO KEEP UP.

♪

♪

MR. GARRETT,
STEP THIS WAY, PLEASE.

ARNIE, YOU KNOW
SOMETHING?

YOU OPERATE LIKE
THE WHOLE WEEK IS
SUNDAY MORNING.

MOST OF US HAVE TO
WRESTLE WITH THOSE
OTHER SIX DAYS.

NOW, ALL THE TIME
YOU'RE UP THERE PREACHING,

I'M SITTING OUT THERE
STEWING ABOUT

WHAT'S COMING MY WAY
MONDAY MORNING TO
SLOW ME DOWN.

NO OFFENSE INTENDED,

IT'S JUST THAT I WANT TO
SEE YOU WIN UP THERE,

THAT'S ALL.

KNOWING YOU IS
AN EXPERIENCE, PETE.

YEAH? IS THAT GOOD?

YEAH, THAT'S GOOD.

I'VE GOT A FEW MORE
POINTERS YOU MIGHT
BE INTERESTED IN.

MR. HARPER?
WE'RE READY FOR YOU.

YOU KNOW, PETE...

THANK YOU.

THE WHOLE THING
IS JUST PLAIN HONESTY,

AND THAT MEANS
ADMITTING OUR WEAKNESSES.

THE GUY WHO'S OUTSIDE
LOOKING IN,

IS NOT INTERESTED
IN PERFECTION.

THAT'S TOO FAR FROM
ALL OF US.

BUT I'LL TELL YOU
WHAT THE WORLD
IS WAITING FOR.

EVERYBODY WANTS TO SEE
A MEAT AND POTATOES GUY

MEETING LIFE HEAD ON
WITH JESUS CHRIST.

WELL, DON'T, DON'T LOOK
IN MY DIRECTION.

I'VE GOT FEEL OF CLAY
RIGHT UP TO MY ARMPITS.

SORRY I'M LATE,
HARV.

GO CLEAR THE DECK, SKIPPER.

I AM 30 MINUTES
INTO MY DAY OFF.

WELL, WHAT DO YOU SAY
WE CATCH A MOVIE

AT THE PARAMOUNT?

I'M SORRY, MAN,
I CAN'T MAKE IT.

I TRY TO TELL PEOPLE
WHAT'S GOING ON,

BUT IT NEVER
COMES OUT RIGHT.

NOW, WAIT A MINUTE--

RIGHT?
OR LIKE YOU WANT IT TO?

IS THAT GUY
SOME KIND OF PREACHER?

YEAH.

THAT SCARE YOU, MAN?

ARNIE, I COULD EXPLODE
SOME DAYS

WITH WHAT THE LORD'S DOING,

BUT I CAN NEVER
LAY MY HANDS ON
WORDS TO COVER IT.

YEAH, BUT THAT'S JUST WHAT
WE'RE TRYING TO GET AWAY FROM.

OUR FIRST THOUGHT
IS ALWAYS WORDS.

MOST OF US ASSUME THAT
WITNESSING STOPS RIGHT THERE.

WHAT WE BELIEVE FINDS
SO LITTLE OUTLET IN ACTION.

(Pete) YEAH, BUT I WANT TO
PASS ON WHAT I FEEL!

WELL, MAYBE YOU
OUGHTA STOP TRYING
SO HARD TO DO, MAN.

JUST BE WHAT YOU ARE.

THE DOING KINDA TAKES
CARE OF ITSELF.

YOU KNOW, HARV'S GOT
SOMETHING THERE.

THE BIBLE CALLS
CHRISTIANS "SALT."

IT DOESN'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT
ACTING LIKE SALT.

IT SAYS WE ALREADY ARE.

ALL RIGHT, BUT SALT'S NOT
DOING ANYBODY ANY GOOD

UNLESS IT GETS OUT
OF THE SHAKER.

YOU GOTTA SPREAD IT
AROUND, RIGHT?

[chuckling]

RIGHT?

YEAH, RIGHT.

OKAY.

HEY, I'LL BET
I WAS DUE BACK

AT THE CHURCH
AN HOUR AGO.

HARV, CAN YOU TAKE HIM BACK?

I'M GONNA BE STUCK HERE
'TIL LEO GETS HERE.

UH...

(Skip) I'LL BE GLAD TO GIVE
THE REVEREND A LIFT.

HARV'S ALL TIED UP
FOR THE AFTERNOON.

I'M FREE,

GOT NOTHING TO DO.

UNLESS YOU THINK MY BIKE
ISN'T FANCY ENOUGH FOR YOU.

I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU
"HOLY TYPES" OPERATE.

ALL RIGHT, SKIP,

KINDA SOUNDS LIKE FUN.

[engine revs]

[tires screech]

[engine revs]

[horn honks]

HEY, FOLLOW HIM, HARV!

THAT KID'S OFF HIS NUT!

YEAH, WE'D DO BETTER
TO PRAY.

[engine noise
drowns out conversation]

LOOK OUT!

[horns honk]

HEY, YOU OKAY?

LISTEN, I DON'T WIPE OUT
EVERYDAY.

LISTEN,
LEMME HELP YOU UP.

YOU OKAY?

I WAS JUST TRYING TO,

I WAS JUST TRYING
TO SHOW OFF, YOU KNOW?

AH!

LISTEN,
WILL YOU COOL IT?

C'MON IN,
I COULD USE A COKE.

REVEREND WESTON!

AFTERNOON, LADIES.

BEAUTIFUL DAY,

JUST BEAUTIFUL.

HUMANLY SPEAKING,

WE HAVE NEVER STOPPED TRYING
TO REDUCE CHRISTIANITY

TO A NEAT LITTLE PACKAGE
OF RULES AND REGULATIONS.

YET WHENEVER THIS HAS OCCURRED,
THE RULES HAVE ALWAYS BEEN

MORE MAN-MADE THAN GOD-MADE.

THE INEVITABLE RESULT
IS THAT WE ROB CHRISTIANITY

OF MUCH OF ITS POWER.

IF GOD HAD WANTED THIS THING
TO BE AIRTIGHT,

HE CERTAINLY COULD'VE
MANAGED IT WITHOUT OUR HELP.

HE KNOWS HOW EASY IT IS
TO SIGN OUR NAME

TO A SET OF RULES,

HE KNOWS THAT TRAP.

MOST OF US HERE
HAVE A VAGUE KNOWLEDGE

OF WHAT THE SCRIPTURES SAY

BUT WE'VE NEVER TAKEN IT
SERIOUSLY ENOUGH

TO ADD THEM TO OUR LIVES,

EXCEPT PERHAPS FOR AN HOUR
ON SUNDAY MORNING.

GOD KNOWS THAT WE PLAY
OUR COMFORTABLE LITTLE GAMES.

BOY, HE'S REALLY
GIVING IT TO 'EM
THIS TIME.

FOR INSTANCE,

WE'RE ALL QUITE INTERESTED IN
LOVING OUR NEIGHBORS.

IF PERHAPS OUR NEIGHBORS
ARE INTELLIGENT ENOUGH

TO LOVE US FIRST.

[grunting]

I'M ABOUT TO TAKE A BRICK
TO THESE PICKLES!

PETE!

PETE,

I NEED A LITTLE MUSCLE.

HOLD IT, GRANDMA!

DON'T BOTHER HIM NOW.

HMM?

WHAT'S GOING ON?

(Grandma)
FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE.

I WAS WONDERING HOW LONG
IT WOULD TAKE.

PEOPLE ALWAYS SAID
PETE HAD A WAY

OF DRAGGING HIS FEET,

BUT WHEN SOMETHING
CLICKS WITH HIM,

HE DOESN'T LET ANY GRASS GROW.

WELL!

LOOKS LIKE I GOT ME
TWO MEN UNDER
THE SAME ROOF.

IT'S NOT DIFFICULT
IF YOU UNDERSTAND

THE PRINCIPLE
OF ROTO-DYNAMICS.

WHY CAN'T YOU BE SATISFIED
WITH MAKING A LIVING

LIKE THE REST OF US?

LEO, YOU KNEW THAT CAR
WAS A PILE OF JUNK.

I SHOWED THE GUY THE CAR,

HE'S HAPPY AS A CLAM.

HOW 'BOUT THE BANDS?

DID YOU TELL HIM
THEY WERE SLIPPING?

DID YOU HAPPEN TO MENTION
THE SPEEDOMETER'S BEEN

TURNED BACK
A GOOD 30,000 MILES?

THE QUESTION
NEVER CAME UP.

[exasperated]
OKAY, HOW 'BOUT
THE RADIATOR?

I PLUGGED THAT!

OH, LEO!

STEAMING DOWN
THE HIGHWAY FOR
TEN MINUTES

THAT THING'S GONNA BE
LEAKING LIKE A SIEVE!

OH, THE GUY WANTED TO
GET TO RENO,

HE NEEDED A CAR FAST,
SO I SOLD HIM A CAR.

IT WAS HIM OR ME.

LOOK, IF HE'S
TOO DUMB TO ASK,
WHY SHOULD I OFFER?

WELL, YOU KNOW SOMETHING, LEO?

YOU MIGHT AS WELL HAVE
STOLEN THAT $200.

IT JUST DOESN'T SET RIGHT,

THAT'S A CRUMMY WAY

TO DO BUSINESS.

OH, NOW, WAIT A MINUTE.

IF YOU'RE ABOUT TO FILL ME IN
ON JESUS' WAY, DON'T.

ANY GUY THAT SHOWS HIS HAND
GETS CLOBBERED.

YOU WANT THE ACTION,

YOU GO AFTER IT
ANY WAY YOU CAN.

DON'T PUT ME DOWN
WITH THAT LOOK.

IT'S ALL OVER YOUR FACE.

LIKE I WENT BACK ON
A BOY SCOUT OATH OR SOMETHING.

CAREFUL NOW,

YOU'RE STARTING TO LOOK
LIKE A TOMATO.

YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED
TO DO THAT ANYMORE.

(Ronnie)
THERE'S SOMETHING
DOWN THERE!

(Grandma)
OH, HEY!

(Ronnie)
IT'S KINDA ROUND.

(Grandma)
LET'S GET IN
WHERE THERE'S SOME LIGHT.

WELL, NOW,
THAT'S REAL NEIGHBORLY.

HEY! IT'S A CAKE!

LOOKS LIKE ONE OF THOSE
7-MINUTE FROSTINGS

YOU SEE ALL OVER T.V.

COCHRAN!

THAT'S NOT JUST A CAKE.

THEY'RE UP TO SOMETHING!

CUT ME A BIG, HEALTHY WEDGE,
WHILE YOU'RE AT IT.

PROBABLY ONE OF THOSE
PACKAGED MIXES.

NOBODY STARTS FROM SCRATCH
ANYMORE.

UH, YOU BETTER LET ME
GO FIRST.

WELL, WHAT'S THE VERDICT?

WITH ALL THOSE DESIGNERS
IN DETROIT,

I DON'T SEE WHY
THEY CAN'T MANAGE

A BIGGER MIRROR.

YEAH.

SUCH A SIMPLE THING.

[reciting]
LET HIM HAVE ALL YOUR TROUBLES
AND WORRIES.

AND THEY COULD
MAKE SOMETHING COULD
JUST PULL DOWN.

LET HIM HAVE
ALL YOUR WORRIES AND CARES.

THAT MAN,
WAITING ON US.

HE'S STRANGE, GEORGE.

...EVERYTHING THAT
CONCERNS YOU.

WHAT'S HE DOING?

[reciting]
LET HIM HAVE ALL YOUR TROUBLES
AND WORRIES.

WHAT...

LET HIM HAVE
ALL YOUR WORRIES AND CARES,

FOR HE'S ALWAYS
THINKING ABOUT YOU

AND WATCHING EVERYTHING
THAT CONCERNS YOU.

FIRST PETER 5:7.

MAYBE IT'S
SOME KIND OF CONTEST.

HMM.

WHOEVER'S HE'S TALKING TO

IT LOOKS LIKE
A LONG CONVERSATION.

SAY, FELLA, FELLA?

CAN WE GET ON WITH IT?

UH, FOUR-SIXTY-EIGHT
IS THE TAB

AND 14.7 GALLONS.

UH-HUH.

THANK YOU, FOLKS.

COME AND SEE US AGAIN.

[car motor starts]

SOME KINDA RELIGIOUS NUT.

(Pete)
ROMANS 8:28,

"AND WE KNOW THAT
ALL THAT HAPPENS TO US

"IS WORKING FOR OUR GOOD,
IF WE LOVE GOD,

"AND IF WE ARE FITTING INTO
HIS PLANS."

[sighs]

JUST WHEN I THINK
I'M GETTING SOMEWHERE,

THERE'S OL' FREDDY.

I CAN'T LOVE THAT GUY, LORD.

MY HIDE JUST CRAWLS
LOOKING AT HIM.

IT'S LIKE THAT BUSH
HE'S GIVING A HAIRCUT TO

OVER THERE.

DO YOU KNOW THAT HE PLANTED
THAT THING THREE YEARS AGO

JUST BECAUSE HE KNEW
I WAS ALLERGIC.

NAW, THIS LOVING EVERYBODY BIT
JUST ISN'T PRACTICAL.

SURE, SURE, LORD,
I WANT IT TO BE REAL,

BUT THERE'S GOTTA BE
SOME OTHER WAY.

FREDDY'S MORE THAN
A LITTLE SUSPICIOUS, YOU KNOW?

AND HE'S GONNA WONDER WHY
ALL OF A SUDDEN

I'M BUDDYING UP?

IF I BRING YOU INTO IT...
OH, BOY.

YEAH, YEAH, OH, IT COMES BACK
TO ME EVERY TIME, DOESN'T IT?

HI, DAD!

HEY, HOLD IT,
MUTTONHEAD!

WHERE YOU GOING SO FAST?

GRAM ASKED ME TO RETURN
THE DISH THE CAKE WAS IN.

I GOTTA HURRY.

THERE'S A REAL NEAT MOVIE
ON T.V.

HEY, WAIT A MINUTE,
WAIT A MINUTE.

LEMME SEE IT.

OH, YOU GO IN,
I'LL TAKE IT OVER.

GEE, THANKS!

PRETTY SNEAKY TIMING.

♪

GOD, I SURE HOPE
YOU LET MOM KNOW ABOUT THIS.

THE WAY I FIGURE IT,

WE GOT ENOUGH HANG-UPS
WITHOUT TAKING ON THE CHURCH.

YEP, THAT IS A CLOSED
CORPORATION.

YEAH.

BUNCH OF FAIRY TALE TYPES.

(minister)
OH, IS THAT FIRSTHAND
INFORMATION?

YOU GUYS SOUND LIKE EXPERTS.

OKAY, ARNIE, OKAY.

SUPPOSE WE SNAP INTO FORM,

COME TO YOUR CHURCH
EVERY SUNDAY FOR A MONTH,

SO WHAT DOES THAT PROVE?

HOW 'BOUT THAT,
REVEREND?

YEAH, JUST ABOUT WHAT
YOU THINK IT WOULD.

BELONGING TO A CHURCH
DOESN'T MAKE YOU
A CHRISTIAN

ANYMORE THAN A "Y"
MEMBERSHIP MAKES
YOU AN ATHLETE.

OR BUYING A BIKE

AUTOMATICALLY
SETS YOU UP FOR
A TRIALS TROPHY.

YOU KNOW, THERE'S GONNA BE

A LOT OF SURPRISED
PEOPLE AROUND

WHEN THEY HEAR THAT,
REVEREND.

YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.

HEY, WHAT ABOUT YOU,
TOM-TOM?

WHAT DO YOU DEPEND ON?

I DON'T KNOW.

JUST TAKE IT
AS IT COMES,
I GUESS.

UH, WOULD YOU GO ALONG
WITH THAT, CAROL?

(Skip)
WAIT A MINUTE,
WAIT A MINUTE,

WHAT IS THIS,
QUESTION AND ANSWERS?

SOUNDS LIKE SCHOOL.

ARNIE, WE GOT TOO FAR TO GO
TO FIND EACH OTHER.

OH...

HARVEY, I'M SORRY.

I'M SORRY,
BUT THIS IS A DRAG.

WHY DON'T YOU TALK TO THE MAN?

WHY DON'T YOU TELL HIM
LIKE IT IS, EH?

WHAT'S THE MATTER?

YOU AFRAID OF A FEW WORDS?

YOU KNOW, CHURCHES ARE
SUPPOSED TO BE SO BIG

WITH THIS "LOVE" BIT.

"JESUS LOVES ME,
YES, I KNOW,

"BECAUSE THE BIBLE
TELLS ME SO."

OH, YEAH, THE BIBLE
TALKS IT UP REAL BIG.

BUT YOU KNOW,

THERE'S A LOT
OF CHURCHES AROUND

THAT WOULD MAKE HARVEY
SIT IN THE BACK ROW

IF HE COULD GET THROUGH
THE FRONT DOOR!

THEY'RE HYPOCRITES, MAN.

THEY'RE A BUNCH OF PHONY
HYPOCRITES.

YEAH, THERE ARE PHONIES,
THERE ARE HYPOCRITES,

AND THEY CALL THEMSELVES
CHRISTIANS,

RIGHT?

SOME OF 'EM
WOULDN'T WANT TO
WORSHIP WITH ME.

AND MAN, THAT ONLY
TELLS ME SOMETHING
ABOUT THEM,

NOT ABOUT GOD.

ALL YOU'RE SAYING IS THAT
MAN HAS MESSED THINGS UP

AND THAT'S NOT EXACTLY NEWS.

IT'S THE MOST HUMAN THING
IN THE WORLD

TO TRY TO FENCE GOD IN.

LISTEN, HEAVEN IS GOING TO BE
FULL OF SURPRISES.

JESUS WAS BORN WITH
A HEALTHY TAN.

HE WASN'T WHITE.

HE'D HAVE TO SHOW
HIS BIRTH CERTIFICATE,

JUST LIKE ANYBODY ELSE,

TO GET INTO
ONE OF THOSE PRIVATE CLUBS

THAT CALL THEMSELVES CHURCHES.

(Harvey)
MAN, YOU CAN HIDE BEHIND
THAT HYPOCRITE ARGUMENT.

YOU ALL CAN.

I DID, FOR A WHILE.

BUT THE CATCH IS
YOU END UP THE LOSER.

LIKE ALL
THOSE PHONY HYPOCRITES,

YOU SHORT-CHANGED
YOURSELVES.

THERE'S A MAN OVER THERE
WITH SOME FOOD.

YOU KNOW, IT'S
GREAT BEING ABLE
TO TALK TO YOU GUYS.

YEAH, WELL,
YOU DON'T TALK TOO
MUCH LIKE A MINISTER.

OH.

ARNIE,
IF THE BIBLE'S FOR NOW
LIKE YOU SAY IT IS,

THEN HOW COME IT
DOESN'T SOUND LIKE NOW?

WELL, WHEN'S THE LAST TIME
YOU OPENED A BIBLE?

THERE'S SOME GREAT
MODERN TRANSLATIONS.

ARNIE, THIS IS
MY GIRL, MARJEAN.

HI.

HELLO.

HOW'S IT GOIN'?

OOO, THERE'S A MEETIN'
HERE TONIGHT.

THEY JUST FOUND
OUT OL' ARNIE'S
ONLY GOT TWO HEADS.

OH, TWO HEADS ARE FINE.

(girl)
...MADE ME GO TO CHURCH
ALL THE TIME

UNTIL LAST YEAR.

THEY HYPNOTIZE THEMSELVES
INTO BELIEVING

THAT IT REALLY WORKS.

OH, I GUESS IT DOES.

LIKE MY DAD--

HE MADE $3,000 LAST YEAR
ON A SIDE DEAL.

HE JUST SORTA FORGOT
TO REPORT IT.

YOU SEE?

YEP.

THAT'S WHAT
I'M GETTING AT.

THE BIG COVER UP.

SURE, YOU CAN CONVINCE
YOURSELF OF ANYTHING.

FOR A WHILE.

BUT SOONER OR LATER,

SOMETHING COMES ALONG
THAT YOU CAN'T HANDLE

AND REALITY MOVES IN
LIKE A FREIGHT TRAIN.

THEN YOU EITHER TURN AROUND
AND WALK AWAY

AS MANY PEOPLE DO
FROM THE CHURCH,

OR ELSE YOU'RE DRAWN IN,

STRONGER AND STRONGER
AND TIGHTER AND TIGHTER.

YOU SEE, CHRIST SAID THAT
WE DRAW CLOSE TO HIM

IN SPIRIT AND IN TRUTH.

NOW THAT MEANS
IT HAPPENS INSIDE.

HE DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL
ABOUT THE PHYSICAL.

THIS IS A WHOLE NEW AREA
OF RELATIONSHIP.

CHRISTIANITY IS NOT
A RELIGION,

IT'S A RELATIONSHIP.

RELIGION IS ONLY
MAN'S SIDE OF IT.

THE BIBLE SAYS
IT'S A SPIRITUAL RELATIONSHIP

BETWEEN YOU, OR ME,
AND JESUS CHRIST.

THE GREATEST, MOST GUT-REAL
ADVENTURE GOING.

HEY, SAY SOMETHING.

♪

♪ THERE ONCE WAS A MAN,
A LONG TIME AGO ♪

♪ STANDING ALL ALONE
AGAINST THE STATUS QUO ♪

♪ HE WORKED WITH HIS HANDS ♪

♪ AND GREW TALL AND STRONG ♪

♪ HE WORKED WITH HIS MIND ♪

♪ A-SORTING RIGHT FROM WRONG ♪

♪ HE WAS SURE OF HIS MISSION ♪

♪ AND HE SPOKE LOUD AND CLEAR ♪

♪ AND HE GOT EVERY EYE ♪

♪ AND HE GOT EVERY EAR ♪

♪ BUT SOME DIDN'T LIKE HIM,
IT WAS PLAIN TO SEE ♪

♪ 'CAUSE HE PUT 'EM DOWN
FOR THEIR HYPOCRISY ♪

♪ THE IDEA OF LOVING
WAS DRASTIC AND NEW ♪

♪ AND BUCKIN' THE CROWD
WAS JUST TOO MUCH TO DO ♪

♪ THINGS HAVEN'T CHANGED
FROM THOSE DAYS OF OLD ♪

♪ THEY STILL TRY TO MAKE HIM ♪

♪ FIT INTO THEIR MOLD ♪

♪

♪ FIT INTO THEIR MOLD ♪

♪

♪ THERE ISN'T A MAN
OR A WOMAN TOO LOW ♪

♪ BUT WHAT HE WOULD LOVE 'EM
AND HELP 'EM TO KNOW ♪

♪ THAT IF THEY WOULD DARE
TO PROVE HIM ON OUT ♪

♪ HE'D SLAM DOWN
ALL THEIR FEAR ♪

♪ AND ALL OF THEIR DOUBT ♪

♪ IT'S NOT THE EASIEST CHOICE
YOU CAN MAKE ♪

♪ IT'S PLAYIN' FOR KEEPS ♪

♪ WITH A WHOLE LOT
AT STAKE ♪

♪

♪ WITH A WHOLE LOT
AT STAKE ♪

♪

[a cappella]
♪ NOW YOU CAN'T GO A-POINTIN'
AT WHAT OTHERS DO ♪

♪ 'CAUSE IT'S A PERSONAL THING ♪

♪ THAT'S STRICTLY 'TWEEN
HIM AND YOU ♪

[music resumes]

♪ AND IF YOU'RE REALLY WANTIN'
TO GIVE LIFE A PULL ♪

♪ ALIVE TO YOUR FINGERTIPS
BRIMMIN' AND FULL ♪

♪ THEN GIVE HIM A TRY ♪

♪ GOIN' OUT ON A LIMB ♪

♪ YOU'LL NEVER KNOW LIFE ♪

♪ 'TIL YOU REALLY ♪

♪ KNOW HIM. ♪♪

I TURN MY BACK,
AND YOU START A CHURCH!

YOU KNOW, LEO, WE JUST
LATCHED ON TO THESE KIDS.

NOW, THEY'RE MISSING
THE BEST PART OF LIFE.

NOBODY EVER STEERED ME.

ALL OF A SUDDEN,
YOU'RE OUT TO
SAVE THE WORLD.

IT'S TOO EASY.

I NEVER FIGURED YOU
FOR THE EASY WAY.

HOW 'BOUT THAT SPONGE?

WELL, I'LL
GO ALONG WITH YOU
ON THIS MUCH...

WHATEVER HE'S GOT,
I NEVER EXPECTED IT TO LAST.

NOTHING EVER STUCK BEFORE.

COULDN'T YOU JUST
LEAVE ME ALONE TODAY?

LORD, DON'T ASK ME,
IT'S CRAZY.

PLEASE, I GOT WORK TO DO.

FIVE GALLONS,
$2.54, MA'AM.

UH, HERE, LEMME CATCH
THE WINDSHIELD FOR YOU.

LOOK, THOSE KIDS ARE SHARP.

I'D BE SHOT DOWN
IN A MINUTE.

YOU WANNA LOSE EVERYTHING
ARNIE AND HARV

HAVE MANAGED SO FAR?

I ALWAYS THOUGHT
THESE CHRISTIAN TYPES

WENT AROUND WITH BUCKETS
ON THEIR HEADS, TOO.

JUST ABOUT THE MOST UNNATURAL
THING IN THE WORLD

YOU COULD BE, RIGHT?

WELL, ABOUT, UH,
ABOUT EIGHT MONTHS BACK,

I, UH, I DECIDED TO
TRY THIS THING OUT FOR MYSELF.

AND I SAID, ALL RIGHT, LORD,
IF YOU'RE REAL,

IF YOU'RE UP THERE,

OR IF YOU ARE DOWN HERE,
OR WHEREVER YOU ARE,

BUT IF YOU'RE REAL,
AND I WANNA KNOW ABOUT YOU,

NOW I'M NOT, I'M NOT
INTERESTED IN ALL THIS STUFF

THAT THEY SLING OUT HERE,
JUST GET THROUGH TO ME.

LET ME KNOW THAT YOU ARE REAL.

AND HE DID.

[laughing]

OH, BOY, DID HE.

HE'S BEEN SHAKING
HELL OUTTA ME EVER SINCE.

ABOUT 1,900 YEARS AGO,
HE LIVED ON THIS EARTH,

AND HE SAID, "I AM THE WAY,
THE TRUTH AND THE LIFE."

ALL RIGHT, HE ALSO SAID
THAT HIS SPIRIT

WOULD WITNESS WITH OUR SPIRIT.

DOGGONE IT, THAT, THAT MEANS
THAT HE PROMISES

TO GET THROUGH TO US.

IF WE CAN CUT OUT
ALL OF OUR GAMES

AND IF WE CAN HONESTLY
REACH OUT TO HIM,

WHEN THAT HAPPENS,

BOY, YOU KNOW INSIDE
THAT HE'S REAL.

[engines rev]

HEY! I HEAR BUZZ!

SKIP'S IN THERE, TOO.

I DON'T HEAR MANNY AT ALL.

HOW LONG, DAD?

UH, TWO MINUTES.

AW, GREAT!

[cheering]

[cheering]

YEAH, RIGHT THERE!

HEY, MAN, YOU WON!

THREE-FIFTY-EIGHT!

COME ON, HARV!

HOW 'BOUT MY TURN.

GOOD NIGHT, HOW DID YOU GUYS
GET SO MESSED UP

IN UNDER FOUR MINUTES?

WHAT ON THE OTHER SIDE

OF THAT HILL, ANYWAY?

PIKE'S PEAK WITH THE CORNERS
KNOCKED OFF, MAN.

IT'S A VERTICAL DUST BOWL.

HEY, I'VE BEEN AROUND
THE BLOCK

A COUPLE OF TIMES
ON HARV'S BIKE.

HOW FAR DO YOU THINK I'D GET?

WHAT? ARE YOU KIDDING?

YOU DON'T JUST
SKIN YOUR KNEES

WHEN YOU WIPE OUT UP THERE,
YOU KNOW.

OH, COME ON, YOU GUYS
COME ON TOO STRONG.

YEAH, ONE SPILL AND YOU GET
SLAMMED WITH 400 POUNDS.

HARV, TELL THE MAN
HOW IT IS, WILL YOU?

HARV?

IT'S HIS LIFE.

HERE, TIME ME, SON.

SURE, DAD,
THREE-FIFTY-EIGHT'S
THE RECORD.

KEEP THE REVS UP HIGH
AND STAY IN SECOND.

HERE.

HEY, I CAN'T THINK
WITH THIS THING ON.

IF YOU WERE THINKING,

YOU WOULDN'T BE
ON THIS BIKE.

IT MIGHT KEEP WHATEVER
YOU GOT LEFT UP THERE

FROM SPLATTERING.

COME ON, RONNIE.

HEY, WHAT HAPPENED TO
MANNY AND TOM-TOM?

THEY'LL BE ALL RIGHT,
JUST WIPED OUT.

(girl) COME ON, YOU GUYS,
LET'S HAVE SOMETHING TO EAT.

LOOK AT THE MAN,

HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO
SIT ON A BIKE.

GOOD LUCK, DAD!

HEY, HEY,
HERE COME THE HOTDOGS.

OH, JESUS, PAY ATTENTION.

IF YOU'VE EVER STUCK CLOSE,
LET IT BE NOW.

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE REST
OF THOSE SANDWICHES?

[engine revs]

COME ON.

COME ON, COME ON,
COME ON, COME ON.

[splash]

YEAH, YEAH, KEEP THE REVS UP
AND STAY IN SECOND.

[motorcycle engine noise
stops abruptly]

UH-OH, HE'S HAD IT.

HEY, SAL, DID YOU BRING
ANY BAND-AIDS?

LET'S HOPE THAT'S
ALL HE NEEDS.

CAROL TOOK FIRST AID
LAST SEMESTER.

OH, WE ONLY WORKED ON DUMMIES!

OH...

[grunting]

OH.

OH, LORD, WELL, I KNOW
MY BIG MOUTH

GOT ME INTO THIS THING,
BUT HOW 'BOUT SPRINGIN' ME, HUH?

HARV, WHY'D YOU LET HIM GO?

YOU KNEW HE COULDN'T
HANDLE IT.

OL' PETE'S LIKE THAT,
SKIPPER.

HE'S NOT AFRAID
TO TACKLE YOUR WORLD.

[faint sound of motorcycle
engine]

WAIT A MINUTE,
HE'S STILL ON IT.

HE'S STILL IN THE GAME.

[cheering]

♪

JESUS CHRIST WAS
THE MOST DECEITFUL LIAR

THE WORLD HAS EVER KNOWN,

OR HE WAS AN EGO-MANIAC
OF MOUNT EVEREST PROPORTIONS,

OR HE IS WHO HE CLAIMS TO BE.

NOW THIS IS A LIFE-SIZED
QUESTION THAT SOONER OR LATER,

WE MUST ALL FACE UP TO.

OUR RESPONSE CAN BE
INTENSELY PERSONAL,

CASUAL TO THE POINT
OF INDIFFERENCE,

FLIP, YOU NAME IT.

BUT NO MATTER
HOW YOU LOOK AT IT,

WE DO DECIDE.

OR OUR PREJUDICE
DECIDES FOR US.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE ONE OF
THOSE RELIGIOUS TYPES, MAN.

IT'S A LOTTA BULL
ABOUT CLEANING YOURSELF UP.

GOD WANTS US TO COME TO HIM
AS WE ARE.

AND ANYWAY, HE KNOWS MORE
ABOUT YOU AND ME THAN WE DO.

YOU KNOW HOW
A STRING OF PEARLS BREAK

AND THEY SCATTER ALL OVER

AND YOU WONDER WHETHER
YOU'LL EVER FIND THEM ALL AGAIN?

IT'S KIND OF LIKE THAT
WITH GOD AND US IN A WAY.

HE SEES US AS PEARLS
LYING DEEP IN THE DUST OF

OUR OWN DESIRES.

NOW, HE CAN'T VERY WELL
LOVE THE DUST WE'RE LYING IN,

BUT HE NEVER STOPS LOVING
THAT PEARL LYING IN THE DUST.

THE PEARL IS, WELL,
IT'S KIND OF LIKE THE REAL YOU.

GOD SEES THE REAL YOU,

BUT BECAUSE HE CAN PENETRATE
THE SURFACE OF LIFE,

HE ALSO SEES
THE POTENTIAL YOU,

WHAT YOU CAN BECOME
WITH CHRIST IN YOUR LIFE.

YOU WALK WITH A MINISTER,
YOU SHOULD EXPECT A SERMON.

I'LL SEE YOU ALL LATER.

(girls) BYE-BYE.

HE'S ALL RIGHT.

YEAH.

THAT DOESN'T MEAN
YOU CAN'T DOUBT.

YOU CAN BRING YOUR DOUBTS
RIGHT ALONG WITH YOU.

RIGHT UP TO THE CROSS.

THE BIBLE TELLS US
ABOUT A MAN

WHO LOOKED JESUS
RIGHT IN THE EYE

AND SAID, "I BELIEVE."

AND THEN IN HIS VERY
NEXT BREATH SAID,

"HELP ME WITH MY UNBELIEF."

DAD, UNCLE LEO'S
BACK THERE.

(minister)
THE LORD LIKES THAT KIND
OF HONESTY.

UNCLE LEO'S
BACK THERE.

AND DON'T FIGURE THAT
HE'S GONNA PUT THESE DOUBTS

IN SOME COMPARTMENT MARKED
"UNFINISHED BUSINESS."

HE WON'T SIDESTEP THEM,
AND YOU WON'T EITHER.

BECAUSE AS YOU LEARN TO LIVE
WITH CHRIST

ON A DAY BY DAY BASIS,

YOU FIND YOURSELF
GRAPPLING WITH THEM

ONE BY ONE,

UNTIL YOU COME TO A DAY
WHEN YOU SAY,

"NOW I KNOW."

NOBODY CAN EVER TAKE
THAT AWAY FROM YOU,

BECAUSE IT'LL BE REAL,

RIGHT DOWN HERE
WHERE YOU LIVE.

AND A THOUSAND
MEANINGFUL MOMENTS

WILL ADD UP TO ONE
ALL-ENCOMPASSING FACT--

YOU WILL KNOW HIM.

YOU CAN TURN YOUR FACE TO CHRIST
OR GIVE HIM YOUR BACK.

WHICH WILL IT BE?

HEY, LEO!

LEO, WAIT UP.

[laughing]

AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED
TO BE INSIDE?

HEY, LEO...

WHAT'S SO FUNNY?

YOU PRAYED ME IN THERE,
DIDN'T YOU?

[laughing]

WELL, I'M JUST LOOKIN', SEE?

NO, PROMISES.

[laughing]

NO GUARANTEES.

NOW, YOU UNDERSTAND,

BOY SCOUT?

I'M JUST GONNA LISTEN
AROUND THE EDGES.

HEY, MAN, LISTEN,
I OWE YOU A BIG
PUNCH IN THE MOUTH.

YOU WANT IT NOW? HUH?
YOU WANT IT NOW?

WE MAY ROCK YOUR SACRED
INSTITUTION.

HOW 'BOUT THAT, ARNIE?

WE'LL CHANCE IT.

♪ NOW YOU CAN'T GO A-POINTING
AT WHAT OTHERS DO ♪

♪ BECAUSE IT'S
A PERSONAL THING ♪

♪ THAT'S STRICTLY 'TWEEN
HIM AND YOU. ♪

♪ IF YOU'RE REALLY WANTIN'
TO GIVE LIFE A PULL ♪

♪ ALIVE TO YOUR FINGERTIPS
BRIMMIN' AND FULL ♪

♪ THEN GIVE HIM A TRY ♪

♪ GOIN' OUT ON A LIMB ♪

♪ YOU'LL NEVER KNOW LIFE ♪

♪ 'TIL YOU REALLY KNOW HIM ♪

[echoes]
♪ KNOW HIM ♪

♪ KNOW HIM... ♪

♪ KNOW HIM... ♪♪