For Better and for Worse (1993) - full transcript

[dramatic music playing]

[Robert] God, help me! Can you
believe this?

We date for three months, you
know, I've left shirts

in the cleaners for longer than
that.

You know what, it's like you're
on the freeway, right?

And you're daydreaming and your
mind wanders for a moment.

Then all of a sudden, zap, you
missed the exit.

Blindsided. There's no rest
stop,

there's no U-turn, you're
just...

just on your way to
God-knows-where.

You know, what are the chances
that two people



who are casually dating,

losing both of their apartments
within days.

Astronomical, right?

I mean, was that fate or just
sort of cosmic burp?

You know, one day, the biggest
problem I've got

is whether I should order
Chinese or Italian for dinner.

The next thing I know, I'm
living with this

practical stranger who's getting
hysterical

because I leave a tube of paint
in the bathroom.

Okay, you're brushing your
teeth.

Come on. Who checks the labels?

And two days later, I'm still
flossing

cadmium red out of my molars.

She thinks this is funny.



It's going to be a triptych.

Three businessmen in suits with
red teeth.

I've tried to explain this,
turns out, he doesn't even know

-what a triptych is. -I keep
asking myself,

"How did I end up with a
painter?

What am I doing with a lawyer?

I gotta admit,

it does have its moments.

Between you and I,

-the sex. -The sex is great.

It's like vacation last summer.

You know, I wanted to relax. You
know, go to the ocean,

sit on the beach. She wants to
go hiking.

So, what's his solution? We flip
a coin.

So now, we're climbing the Alps.

I've got six days of
freeze-dried fruit

strapped to my back. I got
blisters on my blisters.

He's bitching and moaning the
whole way up.

He's freezing, he's tired.

Then we break the timberline.

And we're all alone, nobody
around.

And this view, it just goes on
forever.

And we both stop cold.

And we're standing there like
that.

And it's incredible, the view.

The mountains, it's amazing.

And I turn and I look at her.

She drops her pack on the
ground.

-I drop my pack. -And we stare
at each other.

The next thing I know, we're
tearing our clothes off.

And then right there, branches
crackling,

bugs running for cover, it
was...

It was incredible.

I don't know what overcame me, I
was just-- I was...

you know, maybe it was the
oxygen deprivation, I was...

I don't know, maybe some kind of
hormonal imbalance.

And that's when I said it, "Will
you marry me?"

That's when I said, "Yes."

[birds chirping]

[church bell ringing]

[tires screeching]

[whimsical music plays]

[tires screeching]

[tires screeching]

[whimsical music continues]

[tires screeching]

[tires screeching]

Is Marangello with one L or two?

-Two. -[Francoise] Who is he?

My father's cousin. He owns a
laundry.

-What does he really do? -He
owns a laundry.

He does.

He owns a Laundromat in Pigalle.

He's a little old man

who grows tomatoes on the
weekends.

Godfather and guest.

[both laughing]

If the couple themselves make
the announcement,

the husbands full coat of arms

may be embossed on the
invitation.

Your turn to do the dishes.

Have you ever seen my family's
coat of arms, Francoise?

A sponge and a scrub brush
crossed over a dirty plate.

Well, that's it for today

How many?

The chapel holds 600.

When my grandmother got married,
there were 500.

How many at our wedding?

-Three hundred. Give or take.
-[Robert] Three hundred?

You're kidding.

You're not kidding.

Will you please tell him not
everybody's gonna show?

-Three hundred? -Not everybody's
gonna show.

Catherine, who are these people?

Three hundred people? I gave you
a list of 30 names.

[Catherine] Well, my mother
added a few.

-Oh, right. Your mother. -Guys!

[Catherine] I don't know what
you're so angry about.

My family's paying for it.

I wanted a relatively intimate
affair, not a circus.

So, why did she stop at 300?

I mean, they own their own
church

and it holds 600.

Oh, come on. Let's get on with
this.

We should be able to round this
off in no time.

Oh, because, look, we're
definitely missing

some key personnel. Michael
Jackson,

Maradona, Jackie Onassis, not
here.

I want Michael Jackson to sing
"Ave Maria."

No, better yet, we invite the
pope.

We get the pope and he and
Michael sing it together.

This is not helpful.

[Francoise] Is it His
Excellency, the Pope

or Your Excellency?

I think it's His Holiness.

-His Holiness. -What are you
doing?

Don't waste envelopes. They're
13 francs apiece.

[Robert] Well, let her
Catherine.

We're talking about some very
unique

gift possibilities here.

Original Michelangelo, holy
relics.

Potential honorary sainthood.

Vatican City, Rome.

You're not really gonna send
that, are you?

-[Francoise] Of course, I am.
-And tell her Francoise.

Not everybody's gonna show.

Not everybody's gonna show.

[whimsical music playing]

[Robert moaning]

[Catherine laughs]

Are you sure we're doing the
right thing?

[pants] Sure we are.

Okay.

[whimsical music playing]

[church bell ringing]

[man] Oh, I've seen you've
redecorated

your office again, Cardinal
Koenig.

And a very nice job you've done
of it, I must say.

Seems strangely familiar
somehow.

Well, actually, it's modeled
after the papal offices in Rome.

Of course. You must be wondering
why I'm here.

I always have time for the papal
emissary.

A lovely thing to say.

Well, it's like this.

His Holiness has decided to come
to France.

It's been so long.

We've tried to be patient.

How long do I have to get ready?

-He'd like to come next month.
-Next month?

But that's-- I'd better get
right on it.

That's the spirit.

[vacuum cleaner whirring]

[phone ringing]

[vacuum cleaner stops]

Answer the phone, please.
Please.

[phone ringing]

-Hello? -[Archdiocese] Good day!

Is this Touchet and Associates?

Yes.

[Archdiocese] This is the
Archdiocese of Paris.

I have Cardinal Koenig on the
line for Mr. Bernard Touchet.

Okay. Wait.

Touchet here.

[Koenig] Cardinal Koenig
speaking,

I need to arrange an urgent
meeting.

Oh, yes. Will you give me a
moment?

I have to check my schedule.

[Koenig] Hello? Hello? Mr.
Touchet?

Well, uh, it's short notice,
Cardinal,

but I think I can shuffle a few
things.

[indistinct chatter]

[receptionist] Thank you. Yes,
I'll cover you.

[man] Hi! Faldo?

Faldo? Uh, Faldo? Oh, yes,
downstairs.

-Faldo? -[Robert] Yes.

[phone ringing]

Thank you.

Hey, Robert. Hey, look, how are
you doing?

Gilbert, if you're gonna do
paper litigation--

no, no, let me rephrase that.

If you're gonna get stuck in
paper litigation,

the most important part of your
job

is becoming one with your
document.

-Yeah? -Understand paper.

Where's that damn paper? Yeah.

-Become paper. -Yeah?

I lost it.

[groans]

[Gilbert] Hey, Robert, I think
you need a break.

-I can't do that. -Why is that?

-I'm 1,600 pages behind. -So?

So, they're trying to drown me,
Gilbert.

Nobody's trying to drown you.

-Hello Gilbert. -[Gilbert] Hi.

[Helene] See you tonight,
Robert.

Yes.

Hey, Robert. What exactly does
she mean by,

"See you tonight, Robert" kind
of thing?

I mean-- I mean, just look at
this girl.

I mean, Robert, I mean,

the woman is really finding

the erotic possibilities of
corporate wardrobe.

She and I have been assigned to
this new project.

Hey, you mean just you and
Helene?

-Yes. -You mean, just you and
Helene

and all this nice, soft paper?

-Yes. -I mean, Jesus, Robert.

What a way to kiss your
bachelorhood goodbye.

Gilbert, do me a favor, all
right?

Just don't say anything about
this to Catherine.

All right, I won't.

[Robert] She wouldn't
understand.

I don't understand either so...

You've got it! Out.

God!

[Gilbert] Okay! Okay! Thank you.

Okay. It'll be all right. Let's
see.

[cars passing]

This is impossible! It's
catastrophic!

Five million francs-worth of
canvas,

wandering endlessly around the
continent...

They're tracing the shipment,
Mr. Chenier,

it's just a matter of time.

Don't you realize? This is a
Liebertz painting.

Oh, no. You don't mind.

You've got other things to think
about.

You've got plenty to think
about.

In a few months' time, you're
going to be asking me

for maternity leave.

-I told them it was important.
-Important?

[laughs] Don't you realize?

The only thing that keeps me
away from total madness

is that Liebertz doesn't know.

No.

Say it's not so.

I tried to stall him but--

-No. -[Catherine] ...he's on his
way.

Tell him-- tell him-- tell him
I'm in hospital.

Tell him the entire family were
in a car crash.

A huge tragedy. Oh, gosh.

[indistinct rambling]

[Catherine] We're all very
concerned

about the painting. Uh, it's a
masterpiece and...

So, Chenier left you to be my
sacrificial offering?

Of course, you want a painter,
don't deny it.

-You are good or not? -Oh, well,
I...

I used to think so.

For years, I was convinced my
work was crap.

Today, only industrialists can
afford my paintings.

[laughs]

Self-confidence is a sham.

Work and doubt, you work and you
doubt.

Have dinner with me tonight.

No, I can't. I'm engaged.

Break it.

No, I'm getting married. I...

[gasps] Bourgeois.

Nonsense. A painter, a painter
must be scandalous.

Spontaneous passion, a painter
is not a nurse.

You are very beautiful.

Most erotic woman.

Thank you.

Ah, perhaps I will come to your
marriage.

I will arrive unannounced,
unexpected.

Every ceremony should have the
specter

of spontaneity about it

to remind you, you are alive.

Perhaps as a married woman,

you will be even more attractive
to me.

[gasps]

[ominous music playing]

The church usually takes a dim
view of public relations.

But in this case,

the pope, the time frame.

There are times when we all need
a helping hand.

So, what do you have in mind?

There's a great deal of light
and music

that follows His Holiness when
he travels.

I wonder if a few of those
floodlights

couldn't possibly focus on our
humble parish.

And on those who are so
dedicated to it.

We don't have much time,
Cardinal.

I think it's best to underline a
single story, if you will.

And if I may say so, you are the
story.

We need to see your diocese
through you.

Through your dedication, your
piety, your future.

Yes. Yes, I think that might
work very well.

Of course, I'd want your
personal attention on this.

Well, normally, I had work

in a strictly supervisory
capacity

but I think you're right.

These may be too delicate to
turn over to my staff.

I'd require access to your
files,

schedules, correspondence, et
cetera.

-By all means. -And of course,

a small retainer.

[car drives past]

[sighs] So you'll be shuffling
papers

until one o'clock in the
morning?

Listen, I left some cannellonis
in the fridge.

Oh, great.

[Robert] It's on the bottom
shelf.

You see it?

You know, it's not fair. They
get to go home

and they leave you there all
alone.

[Robert] Yeah. Just me and all
this paper.

Now, set the oven on 300.

Let him heat up really slow.

Really, really slow.

Okay.

[Robert] When the cheese on the
top starts to bubble,

it's ready and you just pull it
out

and it's gonna taste so good.

[chuckles]

[whispers] Just a minute.

-Okay? -[Catherine] Okay.

All right. I love you. Bye.

-Ready to go for it? -Ex--

[Helene] The Tanizaki brief.

The brief!

[water dripping]

What would I do?

Cross collateralize the Belgian
accounts.

Tell the Germans that our
liability

on the cost overruns are subject
to approval by their tax people.

They take one look at the
numbers

and beg us to take the project.

[chuckles]

What are they doing sticking you
down here?

You should be in court. I'm
serious, Robert.

You gotta do something about it.
Let them know you're here.

Why don't we go have a drink and
talk about it?

Oh. Um...

-I-- look, believe me, it's...
-I know. You're getting married.

I don't wanna complicate your
life.

But you're going to anyway.

My home phone. Never up, never
in.

[dramatic music playing]

[Liebertz] Scandal, passion,
art.

[indistinct chatter]

[Robert] So, eight o'clock
sharp, tomorrow night.

-Okay? -Your sister, is she
cute?

Oh, come on. She's 12 years old.

I'm looking for a little
support.

-Mom. -[woman] Yeah.

Pop, get the new suit?

[scoffs] New suit.

Why do I need a new suit to go
to dinner?

[Robert] Dad, please.

My old suit's been good enough
for 15 years.

Now, all of a sudden, I gotta
buy a new suit. Why?

I'm a fishmonger and proud of
it.

If it's not good enough for
these people,

then, uh, too bad.

-He got a suit. -Oh, yes.

It's very nice. Don't worry.

[owls hooting]

So, we're all clear? Eight
o'clock tomorrow night?

I do hope we are not making a
mistake

-with this, dear. -What is it
now, Mother?

[Nathalie] I simply mean that,
well,

Au Clair is only one of the most
exclusive restaurants in Paris.

I would simply hate for Robert's
family to feel, uh...

Uncomfortable...

Don't you agree, dear?

Don't you think we might be
better off

with something more low key?

They'll be fine, really.

[church bell ringing]

[mumbles]

[indistinct chatter]

Goddamn it!

I've got it. [chuckles]

I've got it. [chuckles]

Yoo-hoo! Got it!

Keep up the good work, boys.

[ominous music playing]

[laughter]

[Nathalie] What I mean was that
I was surprised

you'd have the oysters.

Because, well, [chuckles]

you must see a great deal of
them, don't you?

Mother, don't you think that...

We had a gardener once. We've
since let him go.

But we asked him one spring if
he might put in

some lavender around the back
gardens.

Well, the man went completely
over the top.

By the end of the season, I
thought I'd go mad

if I saw another stalk of
purple.

[laughter]

A wedding?

[Bernard] Completely
unsolicited.

It was in your mail pouch.

A return from Rome, unopened.

A wedding.

Not just a wedding, a union.

A confirmation of the
fundamental purpose

of our church.

A symbolic ritual that captures
the essential

universal moment in the lives of
the faithful.

A wedding.

I was going to go into business
with my brother.

But he wanted to set up a place
in the 16th arrondissement.

I told him I'd sweep the streets

rather than sell good fish,

to a bunch of women carrying
Pekingese dogs

with diamond collars. [laughs]

You have a Pekingese, don't you
dear?

Hmm.

[Nathalie sighs]

What happens every time you're
with the pope?

He's standing up there, talking,
and you're listening.

He has a chance to reverse the
positions.

You perform the service as His
Holiness looks on.

Give the pope the world,

a chance to see you as the
dynamic presence you are.

[Nathalie] It's really-- please,
its unnecessary.

I'm sure the waiter can, please,
Mr. Faldo.

Nonsense.

The man was going about it
backwards.

By these prices, you should at
least have the right

-not to choke to death. -Mr.
Faldo,

this just isn't done.

Do you mean they live together?

Oh, Cardinal, please.

That's the beauty of it.

Two professional modern Catholic
kids

stepping out of sin.

Two young people so desperate
for confirmation,

they had to invite the pope to
their wedding.

Two good families from the polar
ends

of your constituency coming
together

under the grace of your mercy.

-Yes, an act of joy and harmony.
-[glass shatters]

[Philippe] Oh, come on, Mr.
Vernet, I'm paying this.

[all bickering]

[Robert] When I say your
mother's rude,

it's not just my opinion, it's
an objective state of fact.

Well, doesn't that make all the
difference?

I'm saying she was high-headed
and condescending,

you have to be blind not to see
that.

Well, I was busy staring at the
chip

on your father's shoulder, I
missed it.

He had the right to be
defensive.

-The word is paranoid. -The word
is bitch.

Oh! That's over the line.

Well, don't hold your breath for
an apology.

[sighs]

Have you ever been lost in the
night,

cold, hungry, all alone in the
middle of the desert?

I can't say I have.

[Bernard] And suddenly,
suddenly, someone

gives you two sticks.

You turn your back to the wind.

You start rubbing them together
as hard as you can.

Friction, warmth, life,

no wisp of smoke.

You rub harder, you give it air,

you keep at it and my God,
you've got a flame.

It's getting hot, hot enough to
warm yourself.

Hot enough to cook your food.

Hot enough to burn your face
off.

Ah, you party pooper.

[child laughing in distance]

[Robert] What are you doing?

I'm going to work.

It's Sunday.

I got an opening Tuesday.

That's my coat.

It's cold, I'm taking it.

[keys jingling]

[woman] You've reached 49563210,

Helene Martin can't come to the
phone right now

but if you leave a message,

she'll do what she can to make
it up to you.

Ciao.

[phone ringing]

[humming]

[Catherine] How long have you
been sleeping

-with Helene Martin? -What?
Catherine...

[call ends]

[slams phone]

Sunday delivery.

This came for you.

Oh, this is quite a collection.

Somebody die?

Mr. Chenier has an admirer.

You are a liar.

Who the hell is Liebertz?

He's a painter.

My God, he's famous, you've
never heard of Liebertz?

No. I've just become acquainted
with his work.

"Spontaneity, liberty,

infidelity,

my canvas awaits you, love
Liebertz."

I don't know. Call me
old-fashioned,

but I got a little problem with
that.

Don't drag this down to the same
level

-as you and Helene. -Oh, come
on,

what the hell is it with this
Helene Martin?

We're doing a project together,
so what?

Yeah, when did it start?

I didn't-- nothing started.

[Catherine] I knew we had
problems

but I never expected anything
like this.

Not yet. Seven, eight years down
the line, maybe but now...

What has this Liebertz been
telling you?

He doesn't tell me anything. He
sends flowers.

Okay. Our class is over.

We're going home. Come on.

You're telling me we're going
home?

If you think I'm gonna let you
stick around here

and compare brush strokes with
some... some...

some horny, Polish Picasso,
you're out of your mind.

You're not gonna let me do
anything.

-You wanna paint? -Yeah.

Paint.

God forbid, you should suffer
for your art a little.

You know, sometimes I think
you'd just sooner have me

in some house coat making babies
and pasta.

What the hell does that mean?

It means I have no intention of
ending up like your mother.

Oh, no, no, no.

You would prefer sleeping your
way to the top

-with the Parisian art scene.
-[scoffs]

Look at you, your suit,

your degree,

your cologne.

At least with your father, you
can smell it.

Oh, enough!

[sighs]

One fact is coming through loud
and clear.

No way we're getting married.

Oh, you can say that again.

[dramatic music playing]

Madeleine...

Madeleine, I'm telling you this
time the check

really is in the mail. This time
it won't bounce.

I'm back on top.

-Things are looking up and--
-[call cuts out]

My wife. She's okay.

So, what do you think, eh?

Better?

[laughs]

[Francoise] This one.

-Mm. [giggles] -[Francoise
laughs]

[slurring] Screw her.

And her whole snooty family.

[laughing]

Yeah. Screw 'em.

I knew she wouldn't let us down.

[glasses clink]

-I knew he'd wake up.
-Hallelujah.

-[doorbell ringing] -[knocking
on door]

[sighs]

[whispers] It's, uh... me...

I'm not here for small talk.

I'm not here for big talk.

I'm here because my things are
here.

-Do you know what time it is?
-Yeah.

So, can I come in?

Are you drunk?

Well, I have to be at work in
four hours.

I need my stuff.

Oh. All right. Okay.

One night.

You sleep downstairs.

[phone ringing]

Hello?

Yes.

[panting]

Hello?

Yes, it is.

Pope.

It's not a joke.

The Pope wants to come to the
wedding.

-There is no wedding. -Yeah, I
know it.

And you know it. But,
apparently,

-the Pope's not psychic.
-[Catherine] Oh.

So, then you told him what
happened?

I was half asleep, I didn't get
a chance to.

-Didn't tell him. -They woke me
up.

I didn't know what hit me.

It's not like I've had a lot of
practice saying it.

You tell him.

Who the hell expects a call from
the Vatican

at 6:45 in the morning?

You would've done the same
thing.

[church bell ringing]

Shit.

I don't know what you're sitting
on, Bernard

but the word is that it's big.

If you say so.

Someone, uh, even mentioned
Pope.

How about it?

Well, I can't keep it from a
fan.

The Pope is involved.

The Bishop of Rome himself.

Jesus.

Oh, God.

Hey. I mean, what are we talking
here?

I mean, you know, is he coming
for surgery,

to bless the fleet. Come on,
give me a hint.

Oh.

I like you, Patrick, and that's
why I'm going

to give you a scoop.

January 29th.

January 29th.

And? Come on.

And that's all I can give you
right now.

But as soon as I know more, I'll
call you.

-29th. -29th. Come on.

No, no, no. I told you, I don't
have a name.

Look, I spoke to him at 6:45
this morning!

Uh, press secretary, an
assistant press--

I don't know, some PR guy.

Oh, come on.

How many Vaticans would you
suppose are there?

That many?

[indistinct chatter]

No, I can't. Hang on.

I can't-- don't put me on hold.

Hey, Robert, old pal. The Pope?

Way to go!

[dramatic music playing]

[door unlocks]

Bernard Touchet. You must be
Robert.

Yes.

Oh, you can't imagine what
thrill it is to meet you.

And where is the bride-to-be?

Oh.

Here she is.

Catherine.

[sighs]

Oh, that's quite a development.

-We're very sorry. -We're more
than sorry.

We don't know each other very
well and that's too bad

because you can't understand
what's at stake here.

You can't do that to me.

I mean, to the Pope.

It might seem strange to you,
but a lot of work

has already been done on this,
on your wedding.

Oh.

-We had no idea. -We sent the
invitation

-as a joke. -A joke, huh?

So, that's it.

What do you mean, "that's it"?

It can't be.

I-- I want...

I want 24 hours.

Yes.

You owe me that as a courtesy
about-- for damage control.

Twenty-four hours to try and
save face.

You mean, don't tell anybody?

[Bernard] That's right.

Not a soul.

Think about it for a minute.

[breathes heavily]

Sorry about this. You kids
caught me off guard.

Now let's go over this again.

-Over what? -Over what's going
to happen.

If tomorrow evening you're still
sure

this is a mistake,

we'll march downstairs and we
face the music.

The church won't like it.

They might excommunicate you or
something,

but nothing major.

And of course, of course,
there's the second option.

Uh, yes? A second option?

Oh, no, no, forget it.

What is it?

Well, I mean, you could agree,
despite the situation,

to go through with the wedding.

What?

Well, that way, you wouldn't
lose

whatever advantages you might
have gotten from it.

You'd have to go through the
motions.

You're saying fake the wedding.

I'm sure there'd be advantages
for everyone

but like I said, it's a wild
idea.

Advantages. You keep saying
"advantages".

Look, what are you talking
about?

Twenty-four hours will give us
the chance

to explore all that.

-Hmm? -Hmm.

We're agreed?

We'll take one day to scrape out
the picnic

before the ants come out?

-Okay. -Great.

Thank you.

What the hell do you mean, "cold
feet"?

Well, I-- I sense some friction.

Well, grease the damn thing down
and get on with it.

Everybody gets skittish before
they tie the knot.

I'm just trying to cover the
flanks,

you know, worst case scenario.

[Koenig] Out of the question.

I've had calls from every
diocese in the country.

Congratulations from every
cardinal in Europe.

The Pope likes the idea.

-Yes, sir, I understand. -I
don't think you do.

You got me into this, Touchet.

You're responsible.

If this blows up in my face,

I won't be the only one to
suffer,

I'll make sure of that.

You tell this young couple of
yours,

and you do it discreetly,

that if need be...

tell them I might be able to
arrange a quiet annulment

-this time next year. -Good.

[groans]

My God, don't tell me we can't
throw

a little wedding if we want.

-[man] Hello. -Mr. Boulanger.

Sir. What, am I late?

No, I'm early.

Let's go.

I spoke with Cardinal Koenig
this morning,

he seemed concerned that there
was some confusion

about your character.

I assured him that this was not
the case.

Can we speak plainly, sir?

I don't think that will be
necessary.

I reviewed your work here at the
firm.

The consensus is that you're
unhappy

in paper litigation.

You don't have to tell me, it's
a shit job.

The firm has an opening in the
Madrid office.

Exciting work,

very little paper.

We felt that you and your wife

might be interested in spending
some time abroad.

Starting when, sir?

As soon as possible.

After the wedding, of course.

-What an excellent idea.
-[sighs]

A one woman show. Just my own
stuff.

Two days before the wedding.

The chance of a lifetime,
Catherine.

-Would it seem a little...
-Opportunistic?

Of course it will be.

Listen to me, your work's
brilliant.

This'll be a chance for other
people to see it.

-It's very tempting. -Don't let
a few scruples

get in your way.

Newsprint, image,

these are all as essential and
part

of a painter's palette as paint
itself.

[reporter] Hey there he is.

[reporters speaking French]

[Robert] No comment.

[reporters speaking French]

[Robert] Just get-- move it.

Oh, for Christ sakes, no
comment!

[indistinct chatter]

-So, when do they leave? -Oh,
they'll come and go.

That will strike some little
nerve out there.

They're not going to leave, are
they?

Well the more you hide, the more
they'll want.

But now that you've decided to
go for the second option,

-we've got to do what's right.
-Right.

How do we get rid of them?

All my clients asked me that,
the answer is simple.

Tell them what they want to
hear.

-Clients? -We're not your
clients.

Oh, look, 48 hours ago, you were
a romantic couple

on the cusp of one of life's
more thrilling adventures.

-You wanna bet? -A love like
that

doesn't just disappear
overnight.

I'm just saying play along with
it.

Set back the clock a little.

We were not in love, we were
crazy.

And I never wanted to get
married in the first place.

Oh! So, why did you get down on
your knees and ask me?

-It was something I ate. -Hold
it, hold it please.

Please. Your boss is offering
you Madrid.

And you're going to get your own
show.

I don't know if it's worth it to
stay one minute

-under the same roof-- -The same
for me,

sweetheart, I can walk out right
now.

-Bye! -Goodbye. See ya!

Wait. Did I tell you about the
annulment?

The cardinal's willing to give
you

a nice, quiet, little annulment
after a year or so.

As long as you promise to keep
it under wraps, hmm?

[Robert] You know what, mister?

I think I can speak for
Catherine and myself

when I say we're tired of this
shit.

Don't you get it. Before there
can be an annulment

-there has to be a wedding.
-Yeah,

and there isn't gonna be a
wedding.

Okay, you don't disagree on
everything.

You hate me, that's common
ground isn't it.

Doesn't that mean something?

-Hey, come on, we've gotta joke!
-[door slams]

-[Catherine] Don't call us.
-[Robert] We'll call you.

-Oh, God. -Oh, wow.

[laughter]

-[cat hisses] -Damn it.

[cat meows]

[Bernard] You've got it under
control.

You're making it back out there.

You're giving it one more shot.

It ought to be worth something
right?

So, what happens,

when you finally reach the crest
on the hill,

exhausted, dirty, at the end of
your rope?

There's some guy standing there

with a baseball bat.

And he whacks you one good one

and you're... [window thuds]
...back down the hill again.

[phone ringing]

Yes, Touchet.

[Koenig] Cardinal Koenig
speaking.

Yes, Your Eminence.

I trust the friction has been
taken care of.

[Touchet] Friction?

Oh. Yeah, yeah. All under
control.

Yes, they just need a little
talking to, that's all.

Fine.

You know, if this works out,

I might have a permanent
position for you.

I very much look forward to
that, Cardinal.

Thank you.

[replaces phone]

Thank you very much.

[whispering] Okay, Bernard,
okay.

[breathes deeply] Okay, focus.
Think.

What's in your bag of tricks?

Yeah.

[distant siren blares]

Yeah, why not.

The old true and tested methods.

-[drawer opens] -Yeah.

[in distorted voice] I now
pronounce you man and wife.

[dramatic music playing]

Taxi!

Taxi.

Taxi!

Hey!

[Robert] Hold on.

'Cause, uh... this cab, you want
it?

Yeah, uh... [chuckles]

Y-- Yo.

Well, no, you know, I don't.

-You take it. -No, no, no, no.
No.

No. It's cold, please. Please
take it.

Yeah, but you're cold too. So...

You know, why don't we share it?

Hey, come on!

[Catherine] I can't believe he
did that. Are you okay?

My God.

-What are you doing? -I'm gonna
get his number.

I should call the police, I
should sue.

Don't tell me you're a lawyer.

God, no, I hate lawyers.

[romantic music playing]

[inaudible]

You know, there's a cafe over
the way,

want to join me?

-Okay. -Okay.

-I'm Robert -Catherine.

-Nice to meet you. -Nice to meet
you.

[Robert] It's over here, you'll
love it.

[romantic music playing]

[woman] Hello, police
headquarters.

[in distorted voice] I've got
some information for you.

Death threats?

-[sighs] Are you sure? -It's
probably nothing

but you never know.

The guy said he'd blow your
heads off.

Can't you find out who it is and
make them stop?

Unfortunately, the press already
knows about it.

By tomorrow morning we'd have
dozens of calls like that one.

-So, what do you suggest we do?
-We'd keep you together,

so as to best ensure your
protection.

They'll move without telling us.

We'll be with you around the
clock.

[indistinct chatter on police
radio]

[sirens blaring]

Hmm.

What do you know about this?

Uh, nothing.

-I-- I swear. -I mean, you've
handled

this kind of situation before,
haven't you?

Well, it happens sometimes.

A sicko thinks he can become
famous

by killing someone who's already
famous.

I'm really sorry it's come to
this.

What if it's a joke?

[Bernard] What if it's not?

You can't take that chance.

I can't let you take that
chance.

This is pretty convenient for
you.

Yeah, you got us right here
under your thumb.

How can you say that to me?

I'm just thinking of your
safety,

as one human being to another?

[groans angrily]

-[reporter] Oh, there he is.
-[Bernard] Blood suckers.

It's the same patrol car.

Jesus, Catherine!

-Stay away from the window.
-[gasps]

Oh, save it for your next
fiancée.

I was just trying to express
some concern.

I guess you had to be there.

[telephone ringing]

Faldo.

[Nathalie] Are you getting
married or not?

I mean this is insane.

Who the hell is this?

Don't take that tone with me
young man.

This Catherine's mother.

Ms. Vernet, I'm sorry.

[Nathalie] What's wrong with you
young people?

I mean the perfect wedding, it's
wonderful,

maybe overdoing it, but what's
wrong with Catherine?

What is wrong with Catherine?

I don't know. I've been trying
to call all day!

-She doesn't answer the phone.
-Well...

She-- She has a lot on her mind,

you know, this whole thing and
all.

I know. I know. But you finally
decided.

It's on, isn't it?

Robert?

Robert?

-Robert, answer me, Robert. -Uh,
Ms. Vernet,

I'm in the middle of a meeting.

Can I call you back?

[sighs angrily]

But, I tell you, I'm his father.

That may be sir, but he's not
here.

[Joseph] Well, I'll wait for
him.

Or I'll talk with his
girlfriend.

-You can't do that either. -Oh,
what is this?

What's this circus?

We're his family.

We have the right to know

if he's getting married or not,
don't we?

[bodyguard] I'm afraid, I'm
gonna have to ask you

-to leave. -What?

But we're talking about my son!

I'm not leaving until I see him.

I'll be back.

[birds chirping]

-You look the way I feel.
-[groans] You're late.

I couldn't find the right park
bench.

Where's your bodyguard?

Over there, next to yours.

-So, why all the secrecy? -I
don't know.

Paranoid, I guess.

I feel like the entire free
world is about to go

sniffing through our dirty
laundry.

[scoffs]

It's like the nuclear version of
a shotgun wedding.

You're not kidding.

Boulanger is pressuring me to
take this deal.

-The Madrid thing? -The year's
posting,

it's a straightforward buy-out.

Chenier still wants to hang
paintings,

main floor, real show,

[sighs] Two days before the
wedding.

Oh, wow, this guy Touchet really
plays hardball.

Well, he wants my paintings
because they're good.

Yeah, but a little publicity
wouldn't hurt, right?

What are you supposed to do when
they throw it in your lap?

It's not quite the way you
wanted it.

Resisting seems foolish.

-What are you saying? -They're
shoving the steel

down our throats whether we like
it or not, right?

-Yes, but we, you know--
-[Robert] If we back out now,

all hell is gonna break loose.

I'm gonna break my mother's
heart,

the press is gonna kill us.

And there's only one way out.

We have to make a deal.

So, talk.

Total and equal split.

We don't have that long to go.

We give them what they want
until after the wedding.

At home we alternate nights on
the couch.

Everybody does their own dishes.

Silence, except for matters of
actual physical importance.

We tell nobody.

-Francoise. -Philippe.

-My mother. -Deal-breaker.

No parents, they can't handle
it.

Secrecy until after the
ceremony.

Madrid for one year,

then a nice, quiet, uncontested
divorce.

What about seeing other people?

Wow.

You're incredible.

Oh, I wouldn't wanna cramp your
style.

Best behavior until Madrid.

Come on.

You'll do it? Really?

[sighs] What a wise decision.

You won't regret it. I promise
you.

Okay, okay. Don't push it. We're
not married yet.

Right, right. [chuckles]

[Catherine] There's two weeks
before this whole thing happens

or doesn't happen.

[Bernard] And a wonderful,
fun-filled two weeks

it's going to be...

Oh, I made some copies of-- just
in case...

Let's see.

Photo sessions, interviews, all
culminating

with the opening of your show at
the gallery, Catherine.

And a little wedding rehearsal

the night before the actual
event.

There's a hell of a lot of stuff
here.

Uh-hmm. Busy, busy.

This afternoon, you'll meet
Cardinal Koenig.

Catherine, avoid wearing
anything too exotic.

And whatever happens, keep on
smiling.

Don't interrupt the cardinal.

Who knows, one day he might get
to be Pope.

[clears throat] Tomorrow
morning,

we've got the first talk show of
the week.

Uh, the morning show on Channel
2.

You get picked up at 6:15 sharp.

-Chauffeur, of course. -Well, I
hate to remind you

but I have to be at work at
9:00.

Oh, not to worry Mr. Boulanger
will understand,

don't you think?

Makeup is at 6:45 sharp.

I never wear makeup.

Oh. Oh, look.

You've made your decision and it
was a wise choice.

Now, we've entered my domain.

The business I know.

Trust me.

-[cameras clicking] -[Koenig]
It's been many years

since I've had a chance to give
instruction

to a couple, embarking on
marriage.

It brought back many memories of
my days

as a parish priest.

And these two lovely young
people

have restored my faith in the
challenges.

[reporters chatter indistinctly]

The Countess de Montmorency,

she hasn't called in years,

and here she's groveling for an
invitation.

-Isn't it wonderful? -One date's
on,

the next date's off.

I'm just going to consider
yesterday

as a classic example of what
happens

when families fail to
communicate.

-Communicate. -Communicate?

Communicate.

[phone ringing]

Oh.

[Joseph] It's more than an
honor, Madam Vernet.

It's like a blessing from God
himself.

And the girl is an angel.

[sighs]

[mumbling]

[mumbling]

Shit. Oh.

[clears throat]

[coin clinks in vending machine]

-[groans] -Can I talk to you for
a minute?

Matter of life and death.

Life and death?

Don't be afraid. I'm Jerry
Norman.

-How the hell are you Robert?
-Fine, thanks.

-I gotta be back. -Hey. Wait a
minute,

wait a minute. I just paid a lot
of money

-to get this guy's uniform.
-Huh?

There are only a few days left.

Has anybody talked to you again
about merchandising?

About what?

All right. No matter what they
offered you,

no matter what the offer is,
Jerry Norman can top that offer.

Listen, I know we just met,
Robert,

but do you have any idea about
the amount of money

-involved in an event like this?
-Hmm.

-Posters, dolls, buttons--
-Dolls?

Those are just the gimmies.

Listen to me. Listen to me.

Please, Robert, for the sake of
your unborn grandchildren.

The key here is rapid
deployment.

Get it on the shelf. Boom! Get
it on the shelf. Boom!

Get it on the shelf.

So, you're telling me

there's a pretty good shot at
cashing in on this,

-is that it? -Good.

Man, this is like having a key
to the bank

on Sunday afternoon.

I don't know who's running your
operation,

but this guy is damn good.

-This is gigantic. -You know,

-we could do a garter. -Yeah.

Yeah, champagne glasses.

You know, maybe... [whispers]
...maybe even a video.

An instructional wedding video.

-You are a genius. -Oh.

-Yeah. -Jerry.

-Can I call you Jerry?
-Absolutely. Absolutely.

-All right. All right. Jerry?
-Yeah?

Now if I see so much as one
cocktail napkin

with my name, likeness,
suggestion of the same,

I'm gonna have you in court
faster than you can blurt out

-rapid deployment. -All right.
Hey.

You want to negotiate? All
right, we'll negotiate.

The important thing here is the
life of the project.

Jerry, I got a couple of
watchdogs out there.

I say the word, they're gonna
throw you

in a slammer in two seconds.

-I can get samples. -[Robert]
Jerry!

Look at yourself.

[Catherine clears throat]

[utensils clattering]

[plastic wrap popping]

[clattering]

[thudding]

[thudding]

[clattering]

[clattering, clanking]

Listen to this, darling.
[laughs]

A kind of society woman who has
tight-lipped energy,

a nearly obsessive sense of
tradition

make her the perfect... field
marshal

for this kind of historical
media event.

Oh, they're saying you're a good
administrator.

[chuckles]

They are saying I'm crazy.

[man] The sort of old-world,
rough-and-tumble shopkeeper,

who confronts modern lifestyles

as if they were as temporary and
useless

as the newspaper uses to wrap a
piece of fish.

They're saying you're
traditional.

Ah, they're saying I'm a moron.

-[telephone ringing] -[Touchet]
Yes?

[woman] Cardinal Koenig on line
one.

Hmm, put him through.

Your Eminence, how are you?

Why have you cancelled half of
today's events?

Because if I push them any
harder they'll explode.

Watch your step, Touchet.

There's only a few days left.

Yes, sir. I'll do that sir.

Thank you.

-Oh, boy, I don't like you.
-[phone rings]

I heard it too.

It's outside the door.

[laughs]

I read this thing today.

They say that the second
marriages

have a 40% better success rate
than the first.

I guess you learn from your
mistakes.

[chuckles]

You'll probably marry some
neo-post-quasi-expressionist.

You'll have a studio in the
city.

Chalet in the South of France,

where the two of you can strip
naked

and make love all day in the
sun.

Sounds great.

[Catherine] You'll probably
marry some

nice, Japanese geisha girl.

She'll cook and clean and give
you a massage.

Make love, make babies...

and vacuum all at once.

Woah.

[floor creaks]

[dog whimpers]

Good night.

[Catherine] Good night.

[peaceful music playing]

[sighs]

Oh, Jesus...

[car horn honks]

Heels or flats?

-Heels. -Really? It's not too
much?

Definitely. No.

[Bernard] Hey, you folks. Hurry
up.

Yeah. All your panics will be
solved

by the time we get there.

The car is waiting.

Tell him to drive around the
block.

Can't you see the lady's trying
to get ready?

But this dress, it's...

-You think it's okay? -Oh, I
love that dress.

You look great.

[Catherine] I'm just not sure
about the shoes.

What about the purple heels?

-[Catherine] The purple heels?
-Uh-hmm.

[Catherine] I don't know where
they are.

They're downstairs, remember?

[Catherine] Right.

Hang on. I'll get them.

[sighs]

-[indistinct chatter] -[sprays]

[reporter] Okay. Now...

what our viewers really wanna
know is...

where did you and Robert meet?

[Robert] Oh. [chuckles]

You're serious?

Yeah, well, okay, uh...

It was a dark, wintry night.

-Uh-hmm. -Uh-hmm.

-Yeah, it's about a year ago.
-Yeah.

And-- well, I was at this big,
pretentious party

with all these egomaniacal
painters,

uh, and musicians.

And I don't know, I wasn't
having...

Congratulations, Bernard.

Done it again.

[Catherine] So, I had gone,

you know, left the party and
look--

was looking for a taxi, and lo
and behold, so was he.

Right. We couldn't find one
because it was one of those,

you know, horrible occasions...

[indistinct chatter]

[man] Hello.

[indistinct chatter]

[man] As long as we get some
food...

[indistinct chatter]

What do you think?

I think now the real work
begins,

which gives these pictures a
history.

It should make an image for
herself,

something dramatic, powerful,
then maybe...

maybe she'd make a real success
for herself.

For me?

It is terror.

Chenier for instance.

He loses my painting, he tells
everyone

that I'm going to kill him.

He tells the world, he screams
and cries

about how terrified he has
become of me.

My persona becomes more
shrouded.

My paintings become almost too
frightening to look upon.

Fear runs my prices high.

It is a business.

[champagne bottle pops]

[indistinct chatter]

Scotch.

You know, make it a double.

[Szabor laughs]

[indistinct chatter]

Hmm. Face.

-Looks like you. -Why don't you
go

suck on a camera?

Maybe you should switch to
water.

Maybe you should try running
yourself a conscience.

[indistinct chatter]

[exhales deeply]

[Robert] Having a good time?

-[man] I think-- I don't--
-[Robert] Oh, saint.

[indistinct chatter]

Well, here you are.

Hi.

Robert, uh, my fiancé.

This is Szabor Liebertz.

You are a very lucky young man.

Such a beautiful and talented
woman.

Surely, you are blessed.

And surely, you are the asshole
who sends the flowers.

Robert!

Jealousy is one of the most
powerful

and most destructive of all
emotions.

-[Szabor screams] -Oh, shit. I
knew it!

[crowd exclaiming]

Ooh. Is that spontaneous enough
for you?

[laughing]

[Catherine] Are you okay?

[Szabor] Of course. [laughing]

Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.

[Bernard] Goddamn it.

I can't leave you for a minute.

Jesus Christ.

Get him, get him, quick.

No.

Hey, stop that.

Give me-- give me that camera.

I'm gonna break your neck.

Get out.

[Szabor] This is a perfect--
[laughing excitedly]

Come. We are leaving here.

No, no, I...

Yes, yes, we are leaving.

-[Robert] Catherine!
-[Catherine] Robert!

[indistinct chatter]

[Szabor] Goodbye!

Taxi! Taxi!

What a beautiful night. [laughs]

[indistinct chatter]

Helene...

you knew I was getting married
before.

-It didn't seem to matter then.
-[Helene chuckles]

Sure, Robert, but the Pope is
involved now.

And you should be ashamed of
yourself.

Bye.

[sighs]

[birds chirping]

[Szabor] This is Elena.

And Gretchen.

And Anita.

[birds chirping]

[Szabor] And Margaret.

One big, happy family.

And the children?

[Szabor groans]

Elena brought several with her.

The rest are holy children.

[dramatic music playing]

[horn honks]

[birds chirping]

If he's not here already, we're
sucked. Sucked.

-All up in smoke. -I'm sorry.

I'm sorry? Do you have any...

Oh, my God.

[sighs angrily]

Oh.

[Robert] Just couldn't break our
deal faster, could you?

[Catherine] What are you talking
about?

[Bernard] Do you have any idea
how close you came to blowing

everything we worked, do you?

[Robert] Best behavior 'til
Madrid.

And maybe that wasn't specific
enough for you.

-All I did was walk out.
-[Bernard] That's enough.

[Robert] What did he do, take
you

-to see his work in progress? -I
had to get out.

Or did you just tear a quickie
in the cab?

-[Bernard] Oh, please. -You are
such an asshole.

Helene Martin says, "Hello".

-You didn't. -The legal term

-is infidelity. -Oh, you pig!

-Breach of contract, baby. -Oh,
you bastard!

-[Bernard] Stop! -[Koenig] Mr.
Touchet!

A word, Mr. Touchet.

-[Robert] All right. -[Bernard]
Okay, folks.

Your choice.

In 24 hours,

you can either be sitting in
first-class

on Flight 214 to Madrid

or here, on cheap seats

watching your personal lives
trashed by every newspaper

-in the country. -[Robert sighs]

[Bernard] It's up to you.

Well, come on, Touchet.

[indistinct chatter]

I'd say the little friction you
mentioned

is about to turn into
hand-to-hand combat.

Stage fright. Just stage fright.

Enough bullshit, Touchet.

I had my suspicions about you,

so, I have done some checking.

God knows I should have done it
before.

You're a fraud, and you got me
to stick my neck way out.

I also heard about last night's
fiasco

or did you think you could keep
that from me?

They haven't slept a wink.

They look like something the cat
dragged in.

Listen to me, you... con artist.

This is my last warning.

If this thing gets out of
control,

you'd better get down on your
knees and pray,

because I'll make sure your
stubby little fingers

never type another press release
again. Understood?

[birds chirping]

[priest] The directory was
repaired

in 1649.

And then following our great
fire,

which I believe I've already
told you about,

they came from all over Europe,
the--

Call this clean?

Hmm? It isn't clean!

The sound system.

Who's running the sound system?

Oh, yes, the sound system.

The sound system, uh...

[birds chirping]

[dog barking]

[Nathalie] Welcome.

-Welcome to Chateau Vernet.
-[woman] Hello.

[man] How are you?

-Hello. -Oh, please, do come in.

It's a pleasure to have you
here.

Did you have a nice journey?

Yes. Thank you, Mr. Vernet.

[Koenig] Let's get this right
for tomorrow.

Just move a little closer
together.

Hmm?

Repeat after me.

I, Robert Faldo...

I, Robert Faldo...

[Koenig] Take you, Catherine
Vernet...

[sighs angrily]

In sickness and in health,

till death do us part.

[shouts] Till death do us part!

[Catherine] Oh, sorry.

Uh, what was the question?

Lovely job.

[door slams]

Would you go through with it?

If it was me, sure.

It's a good deal.

The only problem is...

they're still in love.

They just don't know it?

I can't tell you why the lights
go on

when you hit the switch.

But you and me...

we'll eat this up.

[romantic music playing]

Feel like a nightcap?

Magic.

Beautiful.

Gorgeous.

My lovely, lovely little girl.

[chuckles]

[birds chirping]

[hums]

[door opens]

[Robert] Where the hell have you
been?

Disappear to sweet God knows
where.

The wedding's at 2:00, you show
up at 1:00.

Arm, arm, arm, arm.

You want-- you want to get
really nervous?

He just got here.

He? Who's he?

Pope, you dope.

-[church bell ringing] -[cheers
and applause]

[reporter] His Holiness, the
Pope, is actually

walking towards us.

The crowd here cannot remove
their eyes

and I'm sure we're all touched
by their simple faith.

A lot of these people have
probably been looking

forward to an occasion like this
for all their lifetime

and look how they've turned out
here

in their finest Sunday clothes,
and His Holiness

is walking through the crowd.

Some of these people are
actually

within touching distance of him.

He's shaking their hands,

the children, kissing his
hands...

[cheers and applause]

[helicopter whirring]

[cameras clicking]

[cheers and applause]

What do you mean, "clear the
room"?

We're ready to bring them over
to the church.

Oh, yes. There's a problem with
the civil papers.

The woman arranging that seems
to have disappeared.

I need them alone for two
minutes.

Fine.

-But make it fast. -Oh, yeah.

[suspenseful music playing]

[Nathalie] But it's my daughter.

[man] Please, you can't go.

[Nathalie] But it's just not
done.

The groom is never supposed to
see the bride in her dress

before the wedding.

[Bernard] I was married to the
same woman for 15 years.

I loved her.

I loved her and I hated her.

And we fought and wrestled until
the day

she finally got fed up and
walked out.

-That was just two years ago.
-So, what's the point?

My biggest regret is,

that I let her do it.

We're here, all right?

We're going through with it.

No. No, no, no, no, you can't.

Out that back door, there's a
stone wall.

There's a gate and this gate
leads to a service road.

-I grew up in this house-- -What
are you saying?

There's a red Renault.

In the glove compartment

are your wallets, passports,

and 50,000 Francs.

Get in that car

and drive as fast and as far as
you can.

[knocking on door]

One minute.

If you go through with this,

you'll be bitter and compromised

and ruined before the year is
over.

You two belong together.

Save yourselves.

Run out on the wedding.

Get away from all of this

and see if you can't salvage
what it was

that brought you together in the
first place.

I apologize for what I've done
to you.

It's an ugly business.

And it does little things to
your heart sometimes.

I can even give you an ulcer.

[indistinct chatter]

[suspenseful music playing]

Okay, over here.

[door opens]

[Catherine] Oh, my God.

[suspenseful music playing]

[screams]

[Robert] Jesus!

Hurry!

[car engine starts]

[sighs]

Okay.

Well, where are they?

They should be here any moment.

They'd better, hmm?

[Catherine] Oh!

[both laughing]

[Catherine] Be careful.

[suspenseful music playing]

[Catherine] Stop! You're gonna
kill him!

[Catherine] No! Stop it!

[both scream]

[organ plays wedding march]

Where in God's name are they?

This is appalling.

An outrage.

Sabotage.

This is your fault. You've done
this.

-Cardinal Koenig, please!
-[grunts]

[birds chirping]

[tires screeching]

[Catherine] Oh, look out!

-[Robert] Oh, wow! -[Catherine]
Look out!

[dogs barking]

I can't believe we're doing it.

-Oh. -[sighs]

I can't believe we blew off the
pope.

[laughs]

[grunts]

[birds chirping]

[indistinct chatter]

So, where do you want me to drop
you off?

I, uh, I don't know.

Where are you going?

Well, I'm not going to Helene's.

-Oh, yeah? -Yeah.

Nothing happened.

Nothing?

Nothing happened.

Well then why did you tell me
you slept with her?

Well, uh, you ran off with
Liebertz.

Oh, Liebertz?

Yeah.

Liebertz isn't uh...

What?

He isn't you.

[sighs]

[chuckles]

Nothing happened.

I want an investigation.

A full inquiry.

I get to--

[thuds]

Dear.

Good God, leave it be.

I'm telling you, it's a plot.

It's another Roman plot

to keep me from my rightful
place in the Vatican.

[gasps]

Your Holiness.

There's a cafe up the way.

[laughs]

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

You wanna come?

Okay.

[dramatic music playing]

[tires screech]

I love you.

I love you, too.

Marry me.

Repeat after me.

I, Robert Faldo.

I, Robert Faldo.

Take you, Catherine Vernet.

Take you, Catherine Vernet.

[romantic music playing]

[Bernard] Madeleine, Madeleine.
The check cleared, didn't it?

What I'm suggesting now is an
intimate dinner

with who knows, uh, a little
proposition.

Well, actually, it's more like a
proposal.

I now pronounce you husband and
wife.

You may kiss the bride.

[romantic music playing]

[crowd cheering]

[bell ringing]

[applauding]

[romantic music playing]