Fools for Scandal (1938) - full transcript

WELL, WHAT DID HE SAY?

THE PAWNBROKER WAS OUT,
SO I TALKED TO HIS WIFE.

YOU KNOW, SHE CAN SPEAK
ENGLISH, FRENCH, AND SPANISH?

OH, NEVER MIND THAT.
WHAT DID SHE SAY?

SHE SAID "NO,"
IN 3 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES.

A FINE WAY TO TREAT
A STEADY CUSTOMER.

I DO ALL MY
PAWNING THERE.

YOU GOT
A CIGARETTE, RENE?

YEAH.

I HATE TO BREAK UP
YOUR COLLECTION.

MONTMARTRE, ONE OF
THE OLDEST



AND MOST DISTINCTIVE
QUARTERS OF PARIS.

MANY FAMOUS
PAINTERS AND SCULPTORS

HAD THEIR STUDIOS
IN MONTMARTRE,

WHICH OCCUPIES
A COLORFUL PLACE IN FRENCH HISTORY.

OH, MYRTLE, MYRTLE,
DON'T READ IT.

VISUALIZE IT.

FOR ALL WE KNOW,
EMILE ZOLA SAT

RIGHT THERE
WHERE YOU'RE SITTING,

TALKING TO PAUL CEZANNE.

AND MAYBE NAPOLEON
WATERED HIS HORSE RIGHT HERE.

THERE COMES
LOUIS PASTEUR,

LAUGHED AT BY
ALL THE PEOPLE WHO CALLED HIM A FOOL.

OH, LISTEN.
LISTEN, MYRTLE. THE SACRE COEUR.

OH, IT'S GETTING LATE,
MISS WINTERS.



YOU HAVE AN 8:00
DINNER DATE

WITH LADY MALVERTON
AT THE RIVOLI BAR.

YES, I KNOW.

WHAT TIME?
8:00 AT THE RIVOLI BAR.

I WISH LADY MALVERTON
WOULD LEAVE ME ALONE.

I WISH LADY MALVERTON
WOULD LEAVE ME ALONE. WHY DOESN'T SHE GO--

BACK TO LONDON
AND TAKE ALONG HER NIECE JILL.

AND HAVE YOU EVER SEEN
HER NICE JILL?

DON'T FORGET.
A LOT OF JACK GOES WITH THAT JILL.

ALL RIGHT, MOTHER GOOSE.

AND NOW YOU GO BACK TO
THE HOTEL, MYRTLE. I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

I WANT TO WALK AROUND
AND TAKE IN

SOME MORE OF THIS
LOCAL COLOR.

VERY WELL, MISS WINTERS.

REMEMBER,
LADY MALVERTON, 8:00.

I WOULDN'T MISS IT
FOR THE WORLD.

DEWEY, MY FRIEND,
WE SHALL MAKE ONE LAST ATTACK ON THE ENEMY.

COME ALONG.

AND SOMETHING TELLS ME
THAT WE'LL BE ABLE TO CONVINCE MY AUNT.

WHERE DOES THAT
AUNT STUFF COME IN?

IN AMERICA, WE CALL
PAWNBROKER'S UNCLES.

I KNOW, BUT IN FRANCE,
WE'LL ALWAYS STAY WITH THE LADIES.

COME ALONG.
OH, FRANCE.

BONSOIR, MADAME BRIOCHE,

MY FULL-BLOWN ROSE.

AH, MONSIEUR RENE.

MY HUSBAND IS OUT.

THAT'S GOOD.
I'D RATHER DO BUSINESS WITH YOU.

OH, BUT YOU CAN'T.

MY HUSBAND SAYS I ALWAYS
LEND YOU TOO MUCH.

YOU GET AROUND ME.

OH, MRS. BRIOCHE.

HOW WOULD ANYONE
GET AROUND YOU?

HE DOES.
HE CHALLENGED ME SO MUCH, THEN I--

BELIEVE ME,
I'M SINCERE.

YOU KNOW THAT EACH NIGHT,
WHEN I GO TO BED,

YOU'RE THE LAST ONE
I THINK OF?

YEAH. YOU GOT
HIS PAJAMAS.

YOU SEE, EVERYTHING
I HAVE IS YOURS.

EVERYTHING BUT
THE SUIT HE'S WEARING.

AND NOW EVEN THIS
I'M ABOUT TO LAY AT YOUR FEET.

YOUR LAST SUIT.

OH, BUT YOU CAN'T.

EVEN IN PARIS,
YOU MUST WEAR SOMETHING.

AH, MY PRETTY PIGEON.

YOU'RE SO SYMPATHETIC.

I KNEW YOU'D UNDERSTAND.

ISN'T SHE A DARLING?

SHE'S AS SWEET
AS SUGAR.

SOME LUMP.

NOW, I MUST WEAR
MY EVENING CLOTHES, JUST FOR TONIGHT,

AND I'M GOING TO
LEAVE YOU THIS SUIT IN EXCHANGE, MY DEAR.

OH, BUT I CAN'T.
MY HUSBAND, HE WOULD KILL ME.

BUT YOU MUST
HAVE A HEART.

THINK OF MY POOR SUIT,

HANGING IN THAT DARK CLOSET
ALL THESE DAYS.

EVEN A SUIT MUST
HAVE A LITTLE FUN.

OH, MONSIEUR RENE, PLEASE.

IF YOU COULD ONLY
LEAVE SOMETHING MORE,

JUST TO KEEP
MY HUSBAND QUIET.

WELL, I CAN
LEAVE YOU MY FRIEND.

HE'LL KEEP
YOUR HUSBAND QUIET.

OH, NO, YOU'RE NOT
GOING TO HOCK ME.

DEWEY,
MY AMERICAN FRIEND.

NOTHING DOING.
YOU'RE NOT GOING TO HANG ME UP

IN A DARK CLOSET ALL NIGHT.

BUT I TELL YOU
WHAT I WILL DO.

HOW'S IT LOOK?

OK, ONLY I'D ADVISE YOU
TO STAY OUT IN THE AIR.

YOU SMELL FROM CAMPHOR.

THOSE CAMPHOR BALLS,
YOU COULD BUMP OFF EVERY MOTH IN PARIS.

THERE'S SO MANY THINGS
I'D RATHER DO

THAN GO TO
LADY MALVERTON'S PARTY TONIGHT.

AT LEAST YOU KNOW
YOU'RE GOING TO EAT.

FOR MY DOUGH, I'D RATHER
TAKE A GOOD SLAP IN THE MOUTH.

HEY! WHAT'S THE IDEA?

YOU KNOW YOU CAN
KILL A GUY?

WITH THOSE
EYES OF YOURS?

PARLEZ-VOUS FRANCAIS?

YOU KNOW, DEWEY,
MY FRIEND, I--

OH, THERE MUST BE
SOME MISTAKE.

I'M NOT A MEMBER OF
THE WEDDING PARTY.

ISN'T THAT FUNNY?
NEITHER AM I.

BUT I'M SIMPLY
CRAZY ABOUT WEDDINGS.

WELL, YOU'RE CERTAINLY
CRAZY ABOUT SOMETHING.

TAXI.

TAXI. MAY I
DROP YOU SOMEWHERE?

YES, YOU CAN DROP ME
RIGHT HERE.

IT'LL BE SO NICE
NOT KNOWING YOU.

OFFICER, I THINK
THIS YOUNG MAN IS LOST.

WILL YOU MIND HIM
TILL SOMEBODY CLAIMS HIM?

WHAT DOES HE MEAN?

HE DOESN'T TALK ENGLISH,

BUT I'LL BE
GLAD TO TRANSLATE.

OH, THAT'S FINE.
TELL HIM YOU'RE BEGINNING TO GET ON MY NERVES.

HE WOULDN'T
BELIEVE THAT.

YOU HATE YOURSELF,
DON'T YOU?

OH, NO.
I LIKE MYSELF.

WELL, YOU'RE CERTAINLY
EASY TO PLEASE.

MADEMOISELLE JOKES.

TELL HIM TO GET RID
OF YOU FOR ME.

ALL RIGHT.

TAXI! TAXI!

TAXI!
TAXI!

TAXI!

TAXI!

WELL, AM I
GOING YOUR WAY?

NO. LET ME GO
YOUR WAY, ALWAYS.

THAT'S RIGHT.
YOU MUST NEVER LEAVE ME.

WE'LL JUST
GROW OLD TOGETHER.

YOU'LL NEVER
GROW OLD.

OH, YES, I WILL.

I'VE AGED A GOOD DEAL
IN THE PAST FEW MINUTES.

BUT WHY?
AS WE SAY IN AMERICA,

WE HARDLY EVER
PLAN OUR FUTURE

WITH MEN WE DON'T KNOW.

OH, BUT YOU AMERICANS
HAVE NO IMAGINATION,

NO FREEDOM, NO LIBERTY--

NO, NO.
YOU HAVE THE LIBERTY.

WE JUST HAVE
THE STATUE.

TONIGHT WILL BE
SO WONDERFUL.

I'M GOING TO
SHOW YOU PARIS,

AND PARIS YOU.

OH, YOU'RE A GUIDE.

THANKS, BUT
I'VE SEEN PARIS.

NOT MY PARIS.

WHAT DO YOU VISITORS
EVER SEE OF IT?

I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU

A CITY OF THE GREAT
PAINTERS, MUSICIANS, AND POETS.

THE PARIS OF MIMI
AND MUSETTES.

WE'LL LOOK DOWN FROM
THE LATIN QUARTER,

WHERE CHARPENTIER
WAS INSPIRED TO WRITE

HIS OPERA "LOUISE."

THE PARIS OF PARISIANS.

PARIS, QUOI?

PARIS QUOI?

I'LL TEACH YOU
TO KNOW ITS STRANGE AND MUSTY FRAGRANCE.

IT'S UNIQUE.

YOU WON'T FIND IT
ANYWHERE ELSE ON EARTH.

NOW, CLOSE YOUR EYES.

CLOSE YOUR EYES.

BREATHE DEEPLY.

DO YOU SMELL IT?

ACACIA BLOSSOMS,
WILD VIOLETS, LILAC.

YES, I SMELL ALL THAT
AND A LITTLE CAMPHOR.

WELL, THAT'S NOT PARIS,
THAT'S ME.

MY SUIT.
MY AUNT KEEPS IT IN CAMPHOR.

DO YOU LIVE WITH
YOUR AUNT?

NO, BUT MY CLOTHES DO.

WHAT DID HE SAY?

HE SAID IT'S DINNERTIME.

OH, DEAR, IT'S DARK!
IS IT THAT LATE?

YES. YOU SEE, DARLING,
WE DIDN'T REALIZE.

NOW YOU'RE GOING TO
TAKE ME RIGHT BACK TO MY HOTEL.

I'M DINING OUT.

OH, NO.
WE MUST DINE TOGETHER.

I HAD A DATE, TOO,
BUT, UH,

I MADE IT BEFORE
I MET YOU.

AH, IT SEEMS
SO LONG AGO.

REMEMBER AFTER
THE WEDDING, HOW YOU KISSED ME

AND CARRIED ME
OVER THE THRESHOLD OF OUR LITTLE TAXI?

OH, WE'VE BEEN
SO HAPPY HERE.

COZY, ISN'T IT?

WONDERFUL HOW
YOU CAN RUN A LITTLE HOME

ON 10 MILES
PER GALLON.

MAKING FUN OF ME?

NO, I'M NOT, HONESTLY.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT
I WAS THINKING?

NEXT SPRING,
IF YOU GET A RAISE,

WE'LL HAVE IT ALL
DONE OVER IN EARLY AMERICAN.

MAYBE I'VE BEEN
A LITTLE TOO FRESH.

I HUMBLY APOLOGIZE.

WHAT ARE YOU
UP TO NOW?

I KNOW WHEN
I'VE BEEN DEFEATED.

I'LL TAKE YOU HOME.

BUT I DON'T THINK
YOU'VE BEEN PUNISHED ENOUGH.

TAKE ME TO DINNER.

BUT IT'S ONLY BECAUSE
I'M HUNGRY.

BONSOIR,
MONSIEUR RENE.

WE ARE TWO.

MAY WE HAVE
A WALL TABLE?

OH, I'M SO SORRY,
MONSIEUR RENE.

THEY ARE ALL
RESERVED,

BUT IF YOU WILL
PLEASE COME THIS WAY.

LET'S SIT HERE.

OH, BUT
IT'S RESERVED.

OH, THIS? LOOK.

ARE YOU A MAGICIAN?

I KNOW A FEW TRICKS.

BUT, MONSIEUR RENE,
THIS TABLE IS RESERVED.

THANK YOU, THEODORE.

THAT WAS VERY NICE
OF YOU TO KEEP IT FOR US.

MONSIEUR RENE.
MADAME.

THEY HAVE AMERICAN
CUISINE HERE, FROM DIXIE.

MY APPETITE'S
IN YOUR HANDS. YOU ORDER FOR ME.

ALL RIGHT.
WELL, WE'LL HAVE

A CHATEAUBRIAND
SAUCE DE ANAIS

AND A BOTTLE OF
AUBRION 1911.

WILL MONSIEUR RENE PREPARE
THE SAUCE HIMSELF?

OF COURSE, THEODORE.

DON'T TELL ME
YOU COOK, TOO.

OH, MONSIEUR RENE'S
DISHES ARE FAMOUS.

HE'S THE ENVY OF
EVERY CHEF IN PARIS.

REALLY?

YOU'RE LAUGHING NOW,
BUT I'LL MAKE YOU EAT THAT LAUGH.

TOMORROW WHEN
WE TAKE LUNCH TOGETHER--

OH, ARE WE
LUNCHING TOMORROW?

IT'S UP TO YOU.

WELL, MAYBE WE'RE
LUNCHING TOMORROW.

I'LL PREPARE
FOR YOU MY MOST FAMOUS DISH:

CHICKEN A LA RENE.

IT ISN'T EVERYBODY
THAT CAN HAVE

A CHICKEN
NAMED AFTER THEM.

ALL RIGHT,
ALL RIGHT.

I'LL SAY NO MORE
TILL TOMORROW.

I'LL MEET YOU
IN MONTMARTRE

AT THE FOUNTAIN
AT NOON,

WHEN THE CHIMES OF
THE SACRE COEUR RING OUT.

WHEN THE CHIMES
RING OUT?

THERE'S A NEW DARK MUSIC

BY A NEW DARK MAN

AND HE WRITES HIS SYMPHONIES
IN BLACK AND TAN

ALL HIS RHYTHMS SEND YOU

OTHER SONGS ARE TAME

BUT THE OUTSIDE WORLD
HAS NEVER HEARD HIS NAME

THERE'S A BOY IN HARLEM
WAY UPTOWN

AND HE WRITES ALL THE SONGS

MAN, MANHATTAN
BELONGS TO HIM

WHEN HE LAYS
HIS FINGERS DOWN

OH, HE WON'T LEAVE HARLEM
NO, NO

BUT HIS TUNES GAD ABOUT
YEAH

HE POUNDS THEM OUT
WHEN THE...

MADAME.

LADY MALVERTON.

OH, YES, MADAME.
PARTY OF 8.

WELL, WE ARE--
WE ARE 5 AT THE MOMENT,

BUT THE OTHERS MAY BE
COMING ALONG LATER.

MADAME.

ALL THE SLOPPY
ALL THE WRITERS COPY

THIS PERSON IN THE WOODPILE

OH, HE WORKS
FOR PLEASURE

HE WORKS FOR PLEASURE

IN NO ONE'S EMPLOY

AND HARLEM LIVES
FOR ITS HARLEM BOY

WHAT'S THE MATTER?

I'M HAVING
A BAD BREAK.

MY DINNER ENGAGEMENT
JUST CAME IN. ALL OF THEM.

WELL, THAT SHOULDN'T
BOTHER YOU.

JUST MAKE THEM
DISAPPEAR.

MAYBE YOU BETTER
MAKE ME DISAPPEAR.

HOW DO YOU--
WHAT SHOULD I DO?

I KNOW.
WE'LL SLIDE UNDER THE TABLE

AND LET THEM SERVE US
ON THE FLOOR.

TRAPPED.

NOW, YOU ANSWER
THE PHONE

AND TELL HER
I'M OUT.

YOU TALK AND TELL HER
YOU'RE THE COOK.

ALL RIGHT.
HELLO.

USE THE PHONE.

YEAH.

HELLO.

RENE, WHATEVER HPENED?

WELL, OF COURSE
IT WAS DEFINITE.

WE'VE BEEN WAITING
AT THE RIVOLI BAR.

WELL, COME AND JOIN US NOW.

OH, I--I'M SO SORRY,

BUT, UM, I HAVE MY--
MY NIECE WITH ME.

OH, IT'S QUITE ALL RIGHT
TO BRING YOUR NIECE WITH YOU.

NIECE?
HE'S PULLING YOUR LEG, PAULA.

OH, RENE, COME OVER NOW.

OH,
WE'D BE DELIGHTED.

WELL, I'M AFRAID
WE'LL HAVE TO GO OVER.

COME ALONG, NIECE.

NO, NO,
UNCLE RENE.

ALL RIGHT, BUT
WILL YOU EXCUSE ME

IF I GO OVER
AND MAKE OUR APOLOGIES?

PARDON ME, BUT WE HAVE
A LITTLE BET ABOUT YOU.

AREN'T YOU KAY WINTERS,
THE AMERICAN MOVIE ACTRESS?

OH, NO, NO, NO, NO.

I ALWAYS THOUGHT,
MISS WINTERS,

SHE HAVE BLONDE HAIR, NO?

THAT'S WHAT
I THOUGHT.

GUESS I'M STUCK
FOR THE DRINKS.

I BEG YOUR PARDON.

THIS LADY IS WITH ME.

OH, THAT IS
ALL RIGHT, RENE.

THE BOYS,
THEY MISTOOK ME FOR SOMEBODY ELSE.

SORRY, OLD MAN.
NO HARM.

IT'S AN OLD TRICK.

THE IDEA OF
SPEAKING TO YOU

WITHOUT EVEN
AN INTRODUCTION.

YES. IF
THEY WERE GENTLEMEN,

THEY WOULD'VE
KISSED ME FIRST.

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

AND THIS IS
MR. AND MRS. BULLIT.

HOW DO YOU DO?
HOW DO YOU DO?

BUT WHY DIDN'T YOU
BRING YOUR NIECE?

WELL, YOU SEE, SHE HAD
A FEW GLASSES OF WINE,

AND, UH,
SHE'S RATHER TIMID.

IS SHE PRETTY?

WE CAN'T SEE HER FACE
FOR THAT HAT.

OH, SPEAK FRENCH
TO HIM, JILL.

YOU KNOW, SHE JUST
WON'T SPEAK FRENCH,

AND HER LESSONS
COST US THOUSANDS.

MADAME.

OH, MY TAXI'S
WAITING RIGHT THERE.

LOUIS XIV.
QUOI?

LOUIS XIV.
QUOI?

LOUIS QUATORZE.

OH, QUATORZE...

WHY, LOOK,
MONSIEUR DE VILADEL.

YOUR, UH, NIECE
IS GONE.

OH, THAT SILLY CHILD.

SHE SHOULDN'T
ROAM AROUND PARIS ALONE.

YOU KNOW,
SHE'LL BE LOST.

I KEEP ON FINDING HER,
LOSING HER...

WILL YOU EXCUSE ME?

MADEMOISELLE LEFT
THIS FOR YOU, MONSIEUR.

OH, SHE'S GONE?

IT'S, UH, ALMOST PERFECT

UNDER THESE
CIRCUMSTANCES.

AHEM. CANCEL OUR
DINNER, WILL YOU?

OUI, MONSIEUR.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

THE MIMIS AND MUSETTES.

HERE YOU ARE, PAPA.
KEEP IT ALL.

MERCI,
MADEMOISELLE.

SHE CHANGE HER HAIR.

HELLO, PHILLIP.

HELLO, PHILLIP.

KAY, DARLING,
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?

I WAS
IN MONTMARTRE GETTING A LITTLE ATMOSPHERE.

YOU KNOW,
TODAY I SAW PARIS FOR THE FIRST TIME.

ISN'T FRANCE WONDERFUL?

EVERYBODY SPEAKS FRENCH,
EVEN THE CHILDREN.

HUH?
OH, I DON'T MEAN

THE PARIS
YOU TOURISTS KNOW.

I MEAN PARIS.

DID YOU EVER LOOK DOWN
FROM THE LATIN QUARTER

WHERE THE MAN
WAS INSPIRED TO WRITE THAT OPERA?

WHAT DO YOU CALL IT?
OH, PHILLIP, ISN'T IT WONDERFUL?

WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?

CLOSE YOUR EYES.
HAVE YOU EVER SMELLED

ACACIA BLOSSOM,
WILD VIOLET, AND CAMPHOR

ALL IN THE SAME SNIFF?

THAT'S GREAT.
WHILE YOU'VE BEEN SNIFFING

ACACIA BLOSSOMS
AND WILD CAMPHOR,

PAULA MALVERTON
AND THE BULLITS

HAVE BEEN WAITING
FOR US TO JOIN THEM FOR DINNER.

OH, PHILLIP,
I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS DEFINITE.

WHY, OF COURSE
IT WAS.

THEY'VE BEEN WAITING
AT THE RIVOLI BAR

SINCE 8:00.

BUT THEY'RE
NOT HERE NOW.

HOW DO YOU KNOW?

WELL, I DON'T KNOW,
BUT I KNOW.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
YOU DO KNOW BUT YOU DON'T KNOW?

DO YOU OR DON'T YOU?

YOU'RE ALWAYS
CONTRADICTING ME.

I'M NOT
CONTRADICTING YOU.

YOU ARE SO.
YOU ALWAYS DO.

IF I SAID BLACK WAS WHITE,
YOU'D SAY IT WASN'T.

NEVER MIND THAT NOW.
CHANGE YOUR CLOTHES.

I KNOW WHERE I CAN
FIND THEM.

PAULA SAID
SHE WANTED TO VISIT LE PETIT HARLEM.

OH, BUT I CAN'T
GO THERE.

WHY NOT?

BECAUSE I DON'T
WANT TO GO THERE.

I DON'T WANT TO GO
OUT TONIGHT AT ALL.

I'M TIRED AND I'M NOT
IN THE HUMOR FOR NOBILITY.

YOU'RE NEVER
IN THE HUMOR FOR THE RIGHT PEOPLE.

IF YOU ONLY
KNEW HOW I HATE THE RIGHT PEOPLE.

SOMEHOW THE WRONG PEOPLE
ARE ALWAYS THE RIGHT PEOPLE WITH ME.

THAT'S ABOUT
AS INTELLIGENT AS

EVERYTHING ELSE
YOU'VE SAID SINCE YOU CAME HERE.

WELL, I'M NOT
INTELLIGENT,

AND AREN'T YOU GLAD
I DIDN'T MARRY YOU WHEN YOU PROPOSED TO ME

THAT DAY YOU HAD
YOUR TONSILS OUT?

NO, I'M NOT.

SEE WHAT A STUPID
WIFE YOU'D HAVE HAD?

KAY, YOU'D MAKE
THE MOST WONDERFUL WIFE IN THE WORLD,

BUT YOU SHOULD
HELP ME TRY

TO CULTIVATE
THE RIGHT PEOPLE.

YES. JILL MALVERTON,
FOR INSTANCE.

WHAT'S WRONG
WITH JILL?

NOTHING, NOTHING.
SHE'S GREAT FUN. SO VIVACIOUS.

SHE REMINDS ME OF
THOSE PHOTOGRAPHS

THEY CABLE FROM LONDON.

MYRTLE!

JUST THE SAME,
I SOLD HER A POLICY FOR 50,000.

OH, ANOTHER POLICY.

YOU KNOW, YOU SHOULD
NEVER CALL PEOPLE BY THEIR NAMES.

YOU SHOULD CALL JILL
"POLICY 41143"

AND PAULA
"POLICY 41144."

MY WIG'S
ON THE TABLE.

HAVE IT DRESSED
FOR TOMORROW.

I'LL HAVE THEM
SEND FOR IT.

WE WON'T NEED
YOUR DISGUISE.

I'M NOT
LEAVING TOMORROW.

BUT YOU'VE GOT TO.

YOU'VE GOT TO GO
BACK AND FINISH YOUR PICTURE.

THEY ONLY GAVE YOU
THE WEEKEND.

WELL, THEN,
WE'LL FLY.

THERE'S SOME LOCAL COLOR
I HAVE TO SEE TOMORROW NOON.

ALL RIGHT. I'LL GO
AND FIND PAULA.

WELL, I'M SORRY
I'M TIRED.

I'LL CALL YOU
AT YOUR HOTEL IN THE MORNING.

OH, DON'T GO AWAY MAD.

I'M NOT.

WELL, THEN,
COME KISS YOUR LITTLE

POLICY 71113.

GOOD-BYE.

GOOD-BYE.

DEWEY, GET UP.

WHERE ARE
MY BOOKS, MOM?

DEWEY, GET UP.
IT'S 12:00.

IF I PASS MY
SPELLING TEST, MOM,

CAN I HAVE
A SCOUT KNIFE?

DEWEY!

MY RENDEZVOUS IS AT
THE FOUNTAIN ALREADY. GET UP.

OH, IT'S YOUR DATE.

WHAT DO YOU WANT
ME FOR?

GET UP.
I WANT YOU TO GET BACK

MY BLUE SUIT
FROM MADAME BRIOCHE.

COME ON, GET UP.
HURRY UP.

MADAME.

WELL, IT'S CERTAINLY
DONE WONDERS FOR YOU.

OUI, MADAME.

HERE, TAKE THIS QUICK
TO MADAME BRIOCHE,

AND DON'T COME BACK
WITHOUT MY BLUE SHOES.

COME ON.
CAN I STOP FOR A CUP OF COFFEE?

NO, THERE'S NO TIME.

NOT EVEN
A DEMITASSE?

GO ON.
HURRY UP, DEWEY.

DON'T GO, DARLING.
HAVE FAITH.

DON'T GO.
DON'T GO.

TAXI!

OH, TAXI!
TAXI! TAXI!

EAT, EAT, EAT.

TAXI! TAXI!

EAT, EAT, EAT.

TAXI! TAXI!

LUNCH! LUNCH! LUNCH!
AAH!

TAXI!

TAXI!
EAT, EAT, EAT.

HELLO.

WELL, WHAT ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO BE?

I'M SO SORRY
I'M LATE.

I FLEW HERE
AS FAST AS I COULD

ON MY MAGIC CARPET.

WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME
WE WERE GOING FORMAL?

THEN I'D HAVE WORN
MY NICE, NEW CHANDELIER.

I'M SO AFRAID
YOU WOULDN'T WAIT

THAT IAME HERE
TO TELL YOU

THAT I'D BE HERE
VERY SOON.

I MEAN--I--I'D COME BACK

AS SOON AS
I FINISHED DRESSING

FINISHED DRESSING?
WELL, I DON'T KNOW

WHAT ELSE
YOU COULD PUT ON.

I KNOW
IT LOOKS RIDICULOUS,

BUT WHEN I SAW YOU
CALLING TAXIS,

I--I HAD TO
SLIP ON SOMETHING.

SO YOU SLIPPED ON
A COUPLE OF RUGS.

WELL, IT'S BETTER
THAN NOTHING.

YES.

OH, HOW MUCH,
YOUNG MAN?

I'M SORRY,
BUT THIS RUG IS NOT FOR SALE.

NOT FOR SALE?

NO, NO, THIS LADY
JUST BOUGHT IT.

ON, NO, NO, NO.
I'M BUYING THIS ONE.

THEN I'LL TAKE THIS.
HOW MUCH?

I--I CAN'T SELL IT.

YOU SEE,
THE PROPRIETOR'S OUT AT LUNCH,

AND I'M JUST MINDING
THE STORE FOR HIM, THAT'S ALL.

YOU CAN'T SELL IT?

NO, AND BESIDES,
IT'S MUCH TOO DEAR TO ME.

I HAD MY PICTURE
TAKEN ON THIS RUG

WHEN I WAS
6 WEEKS OLD.

OH, YES,
IT'S BEEN IN THE FAMILY

EVER SINCE
IT WAS A LITTLE BATH MAT.

SHE'S RIGHT.
IT'S AN ANTIQUE.

THEN I MUST HAVE IT.

OH, NO, NO,
NO, NO, NO.

I'VE--I'VE
THOUGHT IT OVER.

I'LL TAKE
BOTH OF THEM.

OH, NO,
YOU CAN'T DO THAT.

YOU'VE BOUGHT
YOUR ONE AND WE'LL TAKE THE OTHER.

YES, WE'RE
TAKING THE OTHER.

I GUESS I CAN CHANGE
MY MIND IF I LIKE. I WAS HERE FIRST.

THAT HAS NOTHING
TO DO WITH IT.

WE'LL TAKE IT.

DON'T! DON'T DO IT!

PLEASE DON'T--OH.

VIVE LA FRANCE.

A FINE THING.

TWO HOURS IT TAKES YOU
TO BRING BACK ONE BLUE SUIT.

ONE HOUR
FOR THE PANTS

AND ONE HOUR
FOR THE COAT.

MADAME BRIOCHE
WAS EASY ON ME.

I ONLY HAD TO WALK
AROUND PARIS ONCE.

MY PAL, YOU MAKE ME
MISS MY DATE,

AND NOW I DON'T KNOW
WHERE TO FIND HER.

WHY DO THEY PUT
SO MUCH CEMENT IN CONCRETE?

ENTREZ.

BONJOUR.

HIYA, POP.
LOOK HERE, POP.

I'LL PAY YOU
FOR THE TAXI--

FORGET THAT.

RENE, MONSIEUR,

YOU CAN DO ME
A BIG FAVOR.

YOUR FRIEND,
THAT LADY I DROVE LAST NIGHT.

WILL YOU MAKE HER
WRITE HER SIGNATURE IN MY BOOK?

WHAT DO YOU THINK
I AM? A MAGICIAN?

YOU WANT ME TO PULL HER
OUT OF THIN AIR?

OH, BUT I COLLECT
THE SIGNATURES

OF ALL THE BIG
CINEMA STARS.

BUT SHE'S NO
CINEMA STAR.

OH, BUT YES.
SHE'S ONE OF THE BIGGEST.

DIDN'T YOU SEE
THE PAPER TODAY?

THAT'S HER.
THE 4:00 PLANE.

WHAT TIME IS IT?

BUT IT ISN'T
UNTIL 4:00.

HEY, WHERE YOU GOIN'?

WHO'S GOT CHANGE?

JUST GIVE HER
MY ADDRESS.

SHE CAN MAIL ME
THE AUTOGRAPH.

OH, QUIET.

MISS WINTERS' ROOM,
PLEASE.

ALLO?

BIEN. MERCI.
AU REVOIR, MONSIEUR.

SHE LEFT.

THANK YOU.

SORRY, POP.
NO AUTOGRAPH TODAY.

I'VE GOT TO SEE
HER AGAIN.

SHE CAN'T COME
IN AND OUT OF MY LIFE LIKE THIS.

I WON'T HAVE IT.

IT SPARKLES JUST AS
SHE SPARKLES.

SHE'S EVEN
MORE BEAUTIFUL.

IMAGINE LEAVING PARIS
WITHOUT EVEN SAYING GOOD-BYE.

SHE DON'T KNOW WHERE
YOU LIVE, DOES SHE?

I'VE GOT TO SEE HER AGAIN.

BESIDES, I MUST RETURN
THOSE DIAMOND CLIPS.

BUT HOW CAN WE GET
TO LONDON?

DON'T WORRY
ABOUT A THING.

JUST PUT YOURSELF
IN MY HANDS,

AND I'LL PUT YOU
IN HER LAP.

OH, YES.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

PLEASE, PLEASE DON'T
WIGGLE ABOUT SO MUCH.

YES. NOW, THEN.
THAT'S ALMOST VERY GOOD.

OH, WOULD THE PARROT KINDLY
JUST SNUGGLE IN A LITTLE BIT CLOSER TO THE HORSE.

1, 2, 3!

I ESS THIS
IS THE SHACK.

I HOPE SHE'S HOME.

WELL, IF SHE ISN'T,
EVERYBODY ELSE IS.

IF IT WEREN'T
FOR YOU, OLD MAN,

WE'D STILL BE
STRANDED IN PARIS.

HOW DID YOU EVER DO IT?

WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?
WE'RE HERE, AIN'T WE?

THIS BELL
MUST BE BUSTED.

IT'S OPEN.

WHAT IS THIS?

HAVE WE STEPPED INTO A
BOX OF ANIMAL CRACKERS?

I DON'T KNOW.

THAT'S WHAT THEY GET FOR
BRINGING 'EM BACK ALIVE.

LOOK! IT'S RENE!

RENE, MY PRECIOUS!

HOWEVER IN
THE WORLD!

DARLING, WE
DIDN'T EVEN KNOW

YOU WERE
IN LONDON!

EXCUSE ME, BUT YOU
HAVE ME AT A DISADVANTAGE.

IT'S PAULA.

DON'T I LOOK DIVINE?

AND I'M JILL.

WOULDN'T YOU KNOW
I'D BE A HORSE?

DIDN'T I SEE YOU
AROUND AT SANTA ANITA?

YOU'RE SUAVISHLY
LATE FOR THE PARTY.

SO COME ON!

BUT WE'RE NOT GUESTS.

NOT GUESTS?
PREPOSTEROUS!

OH, NO, NO. OF COURSE,
THAT'S RIGHT.

YOU DON'T KNOW KAY.

NO, YOU SEE, WE JUST
CAME HERE TO RETURN THE--

THE DIAMOND CLIPS
MISS WINTERS LOST IN PARIS.

DIAMOND CLIPS
KAY LOST?

WHY, SHE
DIDN'T TELL ME.

OH, KAY! KAY!

KAY!

KAY!

PARDON ME, DARLING.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO LOOK
SO SAD, PHILLIP.

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

KAY!

YES, PAULA?

KAY, THIS IS THE
YOUNG MAN I WANTED YOU

TO MEET IN PARIS THAT
NIGHT--RENE VILADEL.

ENCHANTE, MADEMOISELLE.

HOW DO YOU DO?

MAY I INTRODUCE
MY FRIEND, MR. DEWEY GILSON?

BUT HOW COMPLETELY
INCREDIBLE--

HOW DO YOU DO?

WELL, HOW
COMPLETELY INCREDIBLE

THAT YOU SHOULD BE THE ONE
TO FIND KAY'S CLIP.

AND HOW TOO CLEVER
OF HIM TO KNOW THAT THEY WERE KAY'S.

WELL, HE MUST HAVE READ
MY ADVERTISEMENT IN THE LOST AND FOUND.

YES, I ALWAYS READ
THE LOST AND FOUND.

ONE MUST KNOW WHAT'S
BEING LOST IN THE WORLD.

SUCH A LARGE BOX FOR
SUCH LITTLE CLIPS.

WELL, YOU SEE, THERE'S
A CAPE ATTACHED TO IT.

YOU ARE MISSING A CAPE,
AREN'T YOU?

OH, YES, I FORGOT
TO MENTION THE CAPE.

YOU NEEDN'T HAVE COME
ALL THE WAY TO LONDON

JUST TO DELIVER THIS.

I DIDN'T COME ALL
THE WAY TO LONDON JUST TO DELIVER THIS.

I REALLY DON'T KNOW
HOW TO THANK YOU.

IT'S NOTHING.

ARE THEY WEARING
PAWN TICKETS THIS SEASON?

YOU SEE, MISS WINTERS,

ALL THIS IS
VERY SIMPLE--

OH, OF COURSE.
YOU PAWNED THE DIAMOND CLIPS.

YOU WERE AFRAID SOMEONE
WOULD STEAL THEM

WHILE YOU WERE ON
YOUR WAY TO PARIS.

YEAH!

YES. NO, NO!

I'LL REDEEM IT
RIGHT AWAY.

THIS WHOLE THING
IS A PLOT TO MAKE ME LOOK RIDICULOUS.

GOOD NIGHT,
MISS WINTERS.

OH, YOU AND YOUR FRIEND
MUST STAY FOR DINNER.

NO, THANK YOU.

YOU CAN'T GO.
THAT WOULD BE CRUELTY TO ANIMALS.

SURE, WE CAN STAY.

IT WOULD BE VERY NICE.

YES, IT WOULD BE
VERY NICE.

THAT'D BE SWELL.

YES!

YOU KNOW, RENE,

NOW THAT YOU ARE
HERE IN LONDON,

YOU MUST STAY AWHILE.

NOW, REALLY, YOU MUST.

BUT I INTEND TO.

I'M HERE ON A VERY
IMPORTANT BUSINESS.

OH, AND WHAT
SORT OF BUSINESS?

WELL, IT'S RATHER
SPECULATIVE,

KIND OF A GAMBLE,

BUT IF I WIN...

MY FRIEND, NO
INTELLIGENT MAN SHOULD GAMBLE.

INSTEAD OF PUTTING
YOUR MONEY INTO THE STOCK MARKET,

WHY DON'T YOU INVEST
IN SOMETHING SUBSTANTIAL?

INSURANCE.

OH, PHILLIP, PLEASE
NO BUSINESS TONIGHT.

I'M ONLY TRYING
TO HELP HIM.

CIGAR?

THANK YOU.

YOU LOOK LIKE
A SHREWD MAN.

I'D LIKE TO SHOW
YOU A LITTLE PLAN

WHEREBY WITH A VERY
SMALL INVESTMENT,

IN 20 YEARS
YOU CAN HAVE A WONDERFUL INCOME.

OH, YES! YES,
HE MEANS AN ANNUITY.

I'VE GOT ONE.

I GET 60 POUNDS A WEEK
AFTER I'VE REACHED THE AGE OF 40.

AND HOW MANY YEARS
HAVE YOU BEEN GETTING IT, PAULA?

YOU KNOW, I THOUGHT ABOUT
INSURANCE MANY TIMES, BUT--

MY DEAR FELLOW.

YOU'RE SINGLE,
EN'T YOU?

AT THE MOMENT.

BUT YOU MUST
THINK ABOUT THE FUTURE.

SOMEDAY YOU MAY
GET MARRIED.

WHAT ABOUT
YOUR WIFE?

SHE'LL BE BEAUTIFUL.

BESSIE IN ALL
HER REGAL SPLENDOR.

BESSIE'S GOING
TO MAKE CREPES SUZETTE.

YES. IT'S HER MOST
FAMOUS DISH.

OH, KAY. KAY, DO
LET RENE MAKE THEM.

HIS SUZETTES ARE
SO IMAGINATIVE.

OH, DO YOU DO
THINGS LIKE THAT?

WHY, HE'S MARVELOUS.

UH, SAY, DID YOU EVER
HEAR THE ONE ABOUT

THE MAN WHO WENT INTO
THE RESTAURANT AND SAID,

"BRING ME A STEAK"?

SO WHEN THE WAITER
BROUGHT THE STEAK,

THE MAN LOOKED AT IT
AND HE SAID,

"WAITER, IS THAT
STEAK FRESH?"

AND THE
WAITER SAID--

THE WAITER SAID,
"IS THAT STEAK FRESH?

WHY, ONLY 3 HOURS AGO,
IT WAS CHASING A FARMER!"

DO BE A DEAR, RENE.

I'VE BEEN PANTING
FOR SOME OF YOUR COOKING,

SIMPLY PANTING.

I'D HATE TO PUT
A GUEST TO WORK.

PLEASE, NEVER THINK
OF ME AS A GUEST.

DID YOU HEAR
THIS ONE?

YES, WE DID.

THINK OVER
WHAT I TOLD YOU.

I BEG YOUR PARDON,
BUT MISS WINTERS ASKED ME

TO MAKE THE CREPES SUZETTE.

EH? WHAT'S THAT?

YOU MAKE
THE CREPES SUZETTE?

NEVER HEARD
OF SUCH A THING.

VERY WELL, SIR.

PERHAPS YOU'D LIKE
TO TAKE ON THE OTHER DUTIES AS WELL!

ISN'T HE GRACEFUL?

HE USES HIS HANDS
JUST LIKE STOKOWSKI.

RENE UNDERSTANDS THE
TWO FUNDAMENTAL THINGS

IN A WOMAN'S LIFE:

LOVE AND GOOD FOOD.

WHICH DOES HE COLLECT ON?
HIS EYES OR HIS OMELETS?

PLAY SOMETHING SOFT,
PLEASE.

I QUIT THAT
COOKING STUFF WHEN I LEFT THE B SCOUTS.

YOU MAY SERVE NOW.

YOU MUST BE THE FIRST
ONE TO TASTE IT.

THANK YOU.

MY DEAR, YOU'RE
ABOUT TO HAVE AN AESTHETIC EXPERIENCE.

PAULA, IT'S WONDERFUL!

IT'S REALLY DIVINE.

THAT MAKES ME
VERY HAPPY.

WELL, IF YOU EVER
DECIDE TO START COOKING FOR A LIVING,

YOU MUST COME TO ME.

I'LL PAY YOU
20 POUNDS A MONTH

AND GIVE YOU YOUR BOARD.

DO YOU KNOW THAT I'M
VERY INTERESTED IN YOUR PROPOSITION?

COME IN.

I WOULDN'T DEPEND ON
IT IF I WERE YOU.

MISS WINTERS
IS SAILING FOR AMERICA VERY SOON.

SAILING?

YES.

BUT YOU ARE TAKING
YOUR APPETITE WITH YOU, AREN'T YOU?

OH, YES.

MISS WINTERS,
I BEG YOUR PARDON.

BUT THE COOK IS LEAVING
WITHOUT NOTICE.

BESSIE? WHY?

SHE HAD HYSTERICS BECAUSE
YOU WOULDN'T LET HER

MAKE THE CREPES SUZETTE.

HYSTERICS?

OH, I NEVER HEARD
OF SUCH A THING.

THIS IS ALL
MY FAULT.

PERHAPS IF I
WENT IN AND APOLOGIZED--

WELL, AFTER ALL,
SHE IS MY COOK.

DO LET HIM GO, KAY.

HE'S THE MOST
WONDERFUL APOLOGIZER.

PLEASE, I FEEL THAT
I OUGHT TO PERSUADE HER TO STAY.

I'LL FOLLOW YOU.

HE'LL GET HER TO STAY.

HELLO.
HELLO.

WILL YOU PARDON
MY FRIEND, PLEASE?

WITH PLEASURE.

WHAT'S UP?

THEIR COOK'S
LEAVING.

WHAT DO WE DO?
TALK HER IN?

NO, TALK HER OUT.

GOOD NIGHT, DARLING.
IT COULDN'T HAVE BEEN LOVELIER, REALLY.

OH, THANK YOU.

COOKING PARTY, KAY.

SHALL WE WAIT
AND DROP RENE?

WHY, I HAVEN'T
SEEN HIM.

HE MUST'VE LEFT
WITH THE OTHERS.

OH, HA HA.
NEVER MIND.

WELL, COME ALONG,
JILL.

OH, GOOD NIGHT, KAY.

GOOD NIGHT.

GOOD NIGHT, PHILLIP.
NIGHT.

THANK HEAVENS
THAT'S OVER WITH.

OH, DARLING, I'VE BEEN
WAITING FOR THIS ALL EVENING.

YEAH?

YEAH, MY FEET
ARE KILLING ME.

NIGHTCAP?

NO, THANKS.

OH, LOOK AT
THIS PLACE.

YOU'D THINK
SOMEBODY'D HAD GIVEN A PARTY HERE.

I'M SICK OF
THESE PARTIES.

OF COURSE YOU ARE, DEAR.
LET'S JUST SIT AND TALK.

I'M NOT SO SURE,
BUT I'M GETTING SICK OF TALKING, TOO.

WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH YOU, PHILLIP?

WELL, WE TALK SO ENDLESSLY,
BUT WE NEVER GET ANYWHERE.

A MAN NEEDS MORE THAN
WORDS TO GO ON, YOU KNOW.

YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU.

YES, I KNOW, IN AN
IMPERSONAL SORT OF A WAY,

BUT YOU LOVE
YOUR DOG, TOO,

AND YOUR MINK COAT
AND YOUR BREAKFAST.

WELL, DON'T COMPARE
YOURSELF TO MY BREAKFAST.

YOU DIDN'T KNOW
I WAS ALIVE TONIGHT.

YOU DIDN'T HAVE EYES
FOR ANYONE BUT THAT-- THAT PANCAKE ARTIST.

HE WAS A FRIEND OF
PAULA'S AND I WAS JUST BEING CONSIDERATE.

WELL, WHAT ABOUT SHOWING ME
A LITTLE CONSIDERATION?

HOW LONG DO YOU EXPECT
TO KEEP ME DANGLING LIKE--

LIKE A YOYO?

WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?

JUST THIS.

I WANT YOU TO
MAKE UP YOUR MIND.

I WANT YOU TO STOP
BEING A PUBLIC FIGURE

AND TAKE YOUR PLACE
IN SOCIETY AS MY WIFE.

TOMORROW YOU FINISH
YOUR PICTURE,

NEXT WEEK
YOU'RE SAILING.

THEN THERE'LL BE
ANOTHER PICTURE, THEN ANOTHER PICTURE.

WHAT ABOUT US?
WHAT ABOUT ME?

BUT YOU'RE SAILING
IN A MONTH!

YES, AND THEN WE'LL
HAVE THE SAME THING IN CALIFORNIA.

NOTHING WILL BE CHANGED
BUT THE CLIMATE.

I'M TELLING YOU, KAY,

YOU'VE GOT
TO DECIDE NOW.

EITHER YOU GIVE ME
YOUR ANSWER TONIGHT,

OR ELSE!

OR ELSE WHAT?

OR ELSE...TOMORROW.

OH, PHILLIP,
I'M TIRED,

AND I CAN'T ARGUE
ON AN EMPTY STOMACH.

I TELL YOU WHAT.

YOU COME TOMORROW
NIGHT FOR DINNER.

THEN THE PICTURE
WILL BE OVER

AND I'LL HAVE
NOTHING ON MY MIND BUT YOU.

YEAH, ME AND 100
TELEPHONE CALLS.

NO, I PROMISE YOU
THERE WON'T BE ANYMORE--

ANY INTERRUPTIONS.

WE'LL HAVE A NICE,
QUIET EVENING ALL TO OURSELVES

AND THEN WE'LL WORK
IT OUT TOGETHER.

WHAT DO YOU SAY?

ALL RIGHT. BUT THIS'LL
BE YOUR LAST CHANCE...

PROBABLY.

ALL RIGHT.

GOOD NIGHT.

GOOD NIGHT.

HERE COMES PHILLIP.

NOW, HE'S THE LAST.

NOW EVERYONE'S LEFT
EXCEPT RENE.

WELL, LET'S GO HOME.

I SHAN'T START A STEP
TILL I'VE FOUND OUT.

I'M GOING UP.

HERE, HOLD MY BAG.

I CAN ALWAYS SAY
I LEFT IT THERE.

KAY WILL NEVER
SWALLOW THAT.

WHY NOT?
I SWALLOWED HER CAPE,

CLIPS AND ALL.

YES?

ARE YOU ALONE, DEAR?

PAULA, DARLING, COME IN.

DARLING, HAVE YOU SEEN MY PURSE?

DO YOU KNOW,
I'M SURE I LEFT IT HERE

WHEN I CAME IN TO POWDER.

WELL, HAVE
A LOOK AROUND.

OH, HAVE ARUMSTICK.

YOU KNOW, I NEVER
EAT AT PARTIES, AND I'M STARVED.

NO, THANK YOU,
DARLING.

WELL, YOU COULDN'T
HAVE LEFT IT THERE.

WHAT WOULD YOU BE DOING
BEHIND THE COUCH?

OH, I ALWAYS LOOK IN
THE MOST UNLIKELY PLACES.

THAT'S WHERE ONE
USUALLY FINDS THINGS.

OH, LOOK UNDER THE BED.

NO, NO, DARLING.
IT WOULDN'T BE THERE.

CHIC PARTY, DEAR.

TOO LOVELY FOR WORDS.

NOT FOR THE WORDS
I'M THINKING.

DID YOU HAVE A COZY
NIGHTCAP WITH RENE?

RENE? RENE WHO?

OH, COME NOW, KAY.
NOW, REALLY!

OH, RENE THE
PANCAKE ARTIST.

NO, NO, I DIDN'T HAVE
A NIGHTCAP WITH HIM.

QUEEREST THING
IN THE WORLD...

WHERE HE'S GOT TO.

OH, PAULA,
I'M SO UPSET.

NO MAN'S EVER
BEEN LOST IN MY HOUSE BEFORE.

OH, WELL, NO MATTER.

I DARESAY THEY'LL BOTH
TURN UP AFTER I'VE GONE.

WELL, IF THEY DO,
I'LL WRAP THEM

AND SEND THEM
AROUND TO YOU IN THE MORNING.

YES, DARLING.

OH, WELL,
I MUST BE FLYING.

OH, DROP IN AGAIN.
I'M USUALLY GOING TO BED AT THIS HOUR.

WELL, THANKS, DARLING.
I'D LOVE TO.

ISN'T THAT LOVELY?

GOOD NIGHT, PAULA.

DO GET SOME REST, DEAR.
YOU LOOK SO TIRED.

YES.

YOU'RE NOT TO TELL
MISS WINTERS I'M HERE.

I WANT TO SURPRISE HER
IN THE MORNING.

I WON'T IF YOU THINK
IT'S ALL RIGHT.

IT'S ALL RIGHT, MYRTLE.

OH, RENE.

WHY, I THOUGHT PERHAPS
I MIGHT FIND YOU HERE.

IS THAT WHY YOU CAME BACK?

OH, NO, NO, NO.

NO, I REALLY WAITED
BECAUSE I WANTED TO ASK YOU

IF YOU'D STAY WITH US
WHILE YOU ARE IN LONDON,

BUT I SEE YOU ALREADY
ACCEPTED AN INVITATION.

OH, NOT AT ALL.

I'M NOT HERE AS A GUEST.

I'M TAKING BESSIE'S--
THE COOK'S--PLACE.

WOULD YOU THINK IT
DREADFULLY BAD TASTE

IF I CALLED YOU A LIAR?

I'M AFRAID SO.
DREADFULLY BAD TASTE.

THEN WHY
ALL THE SECRECY?

NOW, WHAT ARE YOU TWO
TRYING TO CONCEAL?

KAY RUSHING OFF TO BED,

AND YOU BOBBING
IN AND OUT?

IS MADAME SURE SHE'S
NOT LETTING HER IMAGINATION RUN AWAY WITH HER?

NOT AT ALL,

BUT I DON'T HAVE
TO WAIT FOR MY HOUSE TO STOP BURNING

BEFORE I SEND FOR
THE FIRE ENGINES.

IS THAT ALL, MADAME?

WELL, YES, THANK YOU.

GOOD NIGHT, MADAME.

AND THANK YOU
FOR YOUR ARDOR.

THAT'S QUITE ALL RIGHT.

YES?

OH, KAY, DEAR.
I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU

THAT I FOUND WHAT
I CAME BACK FOR.

PAULA, THAT'S PRICELESS.

AND MAKING HIM THE COOK
IS SO MUCH MORE PRACTICAL

THAN MAKING HIM
THE CHAUFFEUR.

AFTER ALL,
ONE EATS 3 TIMES A DAY.

BUT PAULA,
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!

MY DEAR,
I'D SIMPLY LOVE TO!

YOU MEAN KAY
AND THAT YOUNG LADDIE?

HOW EVER DID
THAT RUMOR LEAK OUT?

YOU!

WHAT'S THIS?

YOUR BREAKFAST, MISS.

ONE LUMP OR TWO?

GET OUT OF HERE, YOU!

HOT MILK OR CREAM?

GET OUT, OR I'LL SCREAM!

I'M THE NEW COOK.

WHERE IS MY MAID?

I'M THE NEW MAID.

BUT YOU MEAN TO SAY
YOU SLEPT HERE ALL NIGHT?

LIKE A LAMB.

BUT I HEARD THE DOOR SLAM.

MADAME DOESN'T REALIZE
A DOOR CAN SLAM ON BOTH SIDES.

OH, IF THIS SHOULD GET
IN THE TABLOIDS--

YOU MUST GO.

OH, NO.
I'M THE COOK.

NOW, DON'T MOVE.
I WANT TO LOOK.

I WANT TO REMEMBER YOU
JUST AS YOU LOOK NOW.

IF SOMEONE SHOULD CALL ON ME,
WHAT WOULD THEY THINK?

WELL, I'M THE COOK.
THEY'LL BELIEVE THAT.

YES, I CAN CONCEIVE THAT.

TRY THE COFFEE
WHILE IT'S HOT.

YOU DOG.

WELL?

HITS THE SPOT.

GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE
YOU RUIN MY REPUTATION!

IMAGINE WHAT A SCENE!

EGGS...

BENEDICTINE.

FOOD FOR SCANDAL

WHY DON'T YOU
TASTE IT?

FOOD FOR SCANDAL

TAKE IT,
DON'T WASTE IT

I DON'T THINK I'LL
EAT IT AT THE MOMENT.

I ONLY WISH YOU UNDERSTOOD
WHAT "GO" MEANT.

FOOD FOR SCANDAL

EAT IT,
DON'T QUESTION

FOOD FOR SCANDAL
MEANS INDIGESTION.

MADAME, DON'T BE
FLYING OFF THE HANDLE

IT'S FOOD
FOR SCANDAL

MADEMOISELLE

NO!

DON'T!

HELLO?
OH, MISS WINTERS?

WELL, SHE'S STILL
AT REST, MA'AM.

OH, NO,
I SHAN'T WAKE HER.

I THINK IT'S BEST,
MA'AM.

RING HER IN AN HOUR,
MADAME, WILL YOU?

YES.

PUT DON'T THAT RECEIVER,
OR I'LL KILL YOU!

YES.

HELLO?

WHO?

OH, LORD CRAVEN.

I AM THE COOK, SIR.

MADAME'S RESTING.

I'LL TAKE A LOOK, SIR.

SHE LOOKS VERY BEAUTIFUL
IN BED NOW.

I'LL BREAK YOUR HEAD NOW!

SHE'S STILL ASLEEP.

I'LL CALL THE POLICE!

THEN MADAME WILL GET
IN EVERY COLUMN.

WHAT CAN I DO?

DON'T LOOK SO SOLEMN.

HELLO?

LORD SAVILLE.

MADAME IS NERVOUS, SIR.

NO, SHE CAN'T SPEAK NOW.

I'M IN HER SERVICE.

I AM HERE TO PAY
MADAME ATTENTION.

THAT'S A FACT I'LL BEG
YOU NOT TO MENTION.

HELLO!

OH, LADY DUNCAN.

WELL, SHE'S QUITE
ALL RIGHT, MA'AM.

WELL, YOU SEE,
I'M NOT HERE LONG.

JUST FOR
THE NIGHT, MA'AM.

SCOUNDREL, CAD,
AND EVERYTHING APPALLING!

MADAME IS CALLING.

AND SO GOOD-BYE.

HELLO.

WHO? OH, IT'S PHILLIP.

YOUR NOBLE STRONGMAN.

SUCH A STRONG MAN
AND SUCH A WRONG MAN.

I AM HERE WITH MADAME.
SHE IS SLEEPING.

FINE!

ARE YOU LAUGHING, SIR,
OR ARE YOU WEEPING?

SWINE!

IT'S JUST PHILLIP.

HE SEEMS PERTURBED NOW.

NO, MY MADAME CAN'T
BE DISTURBED NOW.

I JUST COOK AND TRY
TO BE OF HELP, SIR.

OH, PLEASE
DON'T YELP, SIR.

GO CLIMB A TREE!

WELL, THIS IS PERFECT!

NOW THAT YOU'VE GIVEN
EVERYBODY IN MAYFAIR

SOMETHING TO TALK ABOUT,
WILL YOU PLEASE GET OUT?

BUT I CAN'T.
I WORK HERE.

YOU SEE, MADAME,
YOU OFFERED ME THE JOB AT 20 POUNDS A MONTH.

PURELY IN THE SPIRIT
OF RUDENESS.

BUT YOU CAN'T THINK FOR
A MOMENT I'D LET YOU STAY.

AFTER ALL,
I HAVE TO LIVE.

BUT NOT HERE!

WILL YOU SEND ME BACK
TO THE GUTTER?

WELL, YOU'RE A LITTLE
OVERDRESSED FOR IT.

NOW, THAT'S SETTLED.

AND DON'T WORRY
ABOUT ME.

I'LL GIVE MADAME PERFECT
SATISFACTION.

WE'LL BE A VERY
HAPPY HOUSEHOLD.

I CAN SING TENOR AND
DEWEY CAN SING BASS.

DEWEY! IS HE HERE, TOO?

SAY, WHAT KIND OF A PLACE
AM I CONDUCTING,

A SAILOR'S REST?

GET OUT OF HERE,
BOTH OF YOU.

GET OUT BEFORE YOU
RUIN MY REPUTATION.

NOW, PLEASE DON'T WORRY
ABOUT YOUR REPUTATION.

WHAT DO YOU THINK
PEOPLE WOULD THINK

IF THEY SAW YOU DRESSED
LIKE THAT HERE WITH ME

AT 10:00 IN THE MORNING?

THEY'D THINK
I'M VERY LUCKY.

AND HOW MANY PEOPLE DO
YOU THINK WOULD BELIEVE

THAT YOU WERE
JUST THE COOK?

TWO. YOU AND ME.

YOU SEE? YOU'VE GOT
TO GET OUT OF HERE.

OH, NO, PLEASE DON'T
ASK ME TO GO, KAY.

LET ME STAY.

NO, RENE.

YES, KAY. HMM?

NO, RENE, NO.

LET ME STAY JUST SO
I CAN BE NEAR YOU.

I'LL COOK. I'LL BE
YOUR BUTLER--

BUT I DON'T WANT YOU
TO BE MY BUTLER.

IF I HAVE A BUTLER,
I WANT A REGULAR ONE,

IN LIVERY AND BUTTONS

AND A LOT OF GOLD BRAID
LIKE AN ADMIRAL.

ALL RIGHT.
I'LL BE YOUR ADMIRAL.

BUT I DON'T WANT YOU
TO BE MY ADMIRAL.

I WANT YOU TO BE
MY FRIEND.

BUT I WANT TO BE
YOUR FRIEND,

YOUR VERY DEAR FRIEND.

SAY, WHAT DO YOU MEAN
BY "FRIEND"?

WELL, WHAT DO YOU
MEAN BY "FRIEND"?

I WAS AFRAID OF THAT.

WELL, WHEN MAY
I SEE YOU AGAIN?

SOON. VERY SOON.

COME IN, AGNES.

BYE, MR. VILADEL.

GOOD-BYE, MISS WINTERS.

OH, MY BREAKFAST!

I'M SO SORRY.

THANK YOU.

AND THANK YOU,
MISS AGNES.

YOU'VE BEEN
VERY KIND.

AREN'T WE
KEEPING HIM ON?

HE SEEMS SUCH
A NICE YOUNG MAN.

HE CERTAINLY IS
A NICE YOUNG MAN,

BUT HE CAN'T STAY
AND YOU'D BETTER GET ME ANOTHER COOK.

A MAN COOK
OR A WOMAN COOK?

A WOMAN COOK.

AND ATTEND TO IT RIGHT
AWAY BECAUSE PHILLIP--

I MEAN, MR. CHESTER--
IS COMING TO DINNER TONIGHT

AND I WANT EVERYTHING
TO BE PERFECT.

THERE MAY BE
AN ENGAGEMENT IN IT.

REALLY, MISS WINTERS?

I DON'T KNOW YET.

YES?

LADY MALVERTON IS
HERE TO SEE YOU.

INDEED? WELL,
SEND HER IN, MYRTLE.

YES, MADAME.

DO YOU SUPPOSE
THIS MEANS ANYTHING?

PAULA HASN'T BEEN OUT
OF BED BEFORE NOON

SINCE THE BATTLE
OF WATERLOO.

KAY, DARLING!

I WAS JUST PASSING
THE HOUSE,

AND I COULDN'T RESIST
THE TEMPTATION TO DROP IN.

AND I'M SO GLAD
YOU COULDN'T.

TEMPTATION COMES SO
SELDOM IN THE MORNING.

THE HONORABLE MRS.
HILLARY POTTER-PORTER

AND MISS CICELY TREVOR
ARE CALLING.

SEND THEM IN, MYRTLE.

YES, MISS WINTERS.

OH, IT'S A SALON.

IT CERTAINLY IS.

DARLING!
OH, HELLO, PAULA!

DARLING, WE WERE
JUST PASSING

AND COULDN'T RESIST
THE TEMPTATION TO POP IN.

I'M SO GLAD
YOU POPPED IN.

HAVE SOME COFFEE?

I'M PERISHING FOR SOME.

MYRTLE! CAN YOU ALL
FIND PLACES TO SIT?

MYRTLE!

NEVER MIND, MISS WINTERS.
I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT.

TWO MORE COFFEES.

NOW, TELL ME.

WHAT ARE ALL YOU
LOVELY LADIES DOING UP BEFORE DAYBREAK?

DAY BROKE EARLY
THIS MORNING, DEAR.

WHAT WAS IT THEY
TAUGHT US IN SCHOOL ABOUT THE EARLY WORM?

THE EARLY WORM
GETS THE BIRD.

YES?

MISS WINTERS,
MISS DIANA CHURCHILL,

MISS VALERIE SHAW,
MRS. FENTON RICHMOND,

AND MISS, UH...

WELL, SEND THEM ALL IN AND
ORDER A GALLON OF COFFEE.

DARLING, DO YOU
OFTEN HOLD MORNING RECEPTIONS LIKE THIS?

I THINK IT'S FRIGHTFULLY
CLEVER OF YOU.

YES, AND THEY'RE
CATCHING ON BEAUTIFULLY.

REALLY?

HELLO, KAY, DARLING!

HELLO. MYRTLE, WAIT.

WE WERE JUST
PASSING THE HOUSE...

I KNOW.

AND YOU COULDN'T RESIST
THE TEMPTATION TO DROP IN.

MYRTLE! MYRTLE!

YOU BETTER MAKE IT
4 GALLONS OF COFFEE.

NO, NO, YOU'D BETTER
MAKE IT A VAT!

YES,
MISS WINTERS.

AND MYRTLE, YOU MIGHT
LEAVE THE FRONT DOOR OPEN

AND TELL THE DOORMAN THE
ORCHESTRA'S ALL SOLD OUT

AND THERE'S NO WAITING
ROOM IN THE MEZZANINE.

YES,
MISS WINTERS.

OH, IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE
ALL YOU LOVELY LADIES

ALL OUT WALKING TOGETHER.

NO, DEAR. AS A
MATTER OF FACT,

I'VE JUST COME FROM
THE BEAUTY PARLOR.

WHAT'S THE MATTER?
WAS IT CLOSED?

YOU'RE LOOKING
SO FRESH AND CAREFREE THIS MORNING, KAY.

WHY SHOULDN'T I?

WE EXPECTED TO FIND
YOU FRIGHTFULLY DOWNCAST, DARLING.

WE'D HEARD YOU'D
LOST YOUR COOK.

OH, I CAN ALWAYS
FIND ANOTHER.

MISS WINTERS!

YES?
HERE COME SOME MORE!

WELL, SEND THEM IN,
MYRTLE!

KAY, HOW ARE YOU?

HELLO!

MORNING, KAY.

THE DELEGATION
FROM NEW ZEALAND!

COME IN!

COME IN, SIT DOWN.
HAVE A BALL.

STILL IN BED, KAY?

I DIDN'T KNOW
PEOPLE EVER STAYED IN BED SO LATE.

YOU SEE, CYNTHIA, MY DEAR,

ONE HALF OF THE WORLD
DOESN'T KNOW HOW THE OTHER HALF LIVES.

NEVER MIND, PAULA.
IT ISN'T YOUR FAULT.

KAY, WE WERE JUST
GOING PAST THE HOUSE AND WE COULDN'T--

NEITHER COULD THE OTHERS.

MYRTLE! MYRTLE!

YES, MISS WINTERS?

YOU'D BETTER PHONE
OVER TO THE CATERERS

AND HAVE THEM SEND OVER
100 CAMP STOOLS.

YES, MISS WINTERS.

AND MYRTLE...

YOU'D BETTER SEND
FOR SOME DOG BISCUITS.

YES, MISS WINTERS.

DID YOU EVER TRY
A MALE COOK, KAY?

HELLO, EVERYBODY!

THE DOOR WAS OPEN AND I
SMELLED COFFEE AND CAME IN.

OH, JILL, DARLING,
YOU'RE LATE!

WHERE'S YOUR HORSE?

OH, I'M SO SORRY
I HAVEN'T A SADDLE

FOR YOU TO SIT ON.

SIT DOWN, SIT DOWN.

BUT KAY, DEAR,

DID YOU EVER TRY
A MALE COOK?

I HEAR THEY'RE
AWFULLY GOOD.

YOU MEAN SORTA KILL
TWO BIRDS WITH ONE STONE?

KAY! WHAT'S THIS?

HELLO, PHILLIP.

WHY, HELLO.

OH, PHILLIP, COME IN!

YOU'VE ONLY MISSED
THE KICKOFF.

YOU KNOW, I MAY HAVE
TO PUT YOU IN THE BATHROOM,

BECAUSE WE'RE
AWFULLY CROWDED.

W-WELL,
WHAT'S GOING ON?

JUST A CONDOLENCE CALL.
THE COOK LEFT.

YES?

IT'S NO USE, JEFFREY.
THEY WON'T ANSWER THE DOOR.

WE'VE BEEN RINGING
ALL THE AFTERNOON.

BUT I'VE GOT TO GET A STORY
FOR THE EVENING EDITION.

SO HAVE WE ALL.

GOOD HEAVENS!
THOSE REPORTERS!

LET ME HANDLE IT!

MISS WINTERS AIN'T HOME,

AND SHE AIN'T GONNA BE HOME.

NOW, RUN ALONG
AND SELL YOUR PAPERS.

ARE YOU
THE LOVE CHEF?

NO, I'M SNOW WHITE...

FORMERLY WITH
THE 7 DWARVES.

IS HE?

HELLO?

NO, MISS WINTERS
HASN'T RETURNED

FROM THE STUDIO YET.

WE'LL EXPECT HER
NOW ANY MINUTE.

OH, DEAR, I WISH THAT PHONE
WOULD STOP RINGING.

THERE'S A CROWD
OF THOSE NEWSPAPER MEN

AT THE BACK
DOOR!

THEY'VE GOT
THE WHOLE HOUSE SURROUNDED.

WE'LL HAVE TO MAKE
A BREAK FOR IT.

OH, NO, NO,
YOU CAN'T GO YET.

THEY'LL SEE YOU,
THEY'LL MAKE YOU TALK.

OH, NO. THEY WON'T
MAKE ME TALK.

COME ALONG, DEWEY.
GET YOUR HAT.

BUT THEY MUSTN'T SEE YOU.

DON'T YOU SEE, THEY'LL
SNAP YOUR PICTURE.

THEY'LL PRINT
TERRIBLE STORIES ABOUT MISS WINTERS.

YEAH!
BUT, AGNES,

DON'T YOU SEE THAT
I CAN'T BE HERE

WHEN MISS WINTERS GETS
BACK FROM THE STUDIO?

ESPECIALLY AFTER WHAT SHE
SAID TO ME THIS MORNING

WHEN THOSE WOMEN LEFT.

HELLO?

YES, THIS IS
HER RESIDENCE.

NO, MISS WINTERS
IS NOT HOME.

IT'S SOMEONE TO FIND
OUT IF YOU'RE HERE.

I KNOW IT IS!

THEN, WHY DON'T
YOU LET ME GO?

OH, NO, YOU CAN'T.

YOU MUSTN'T LET THEM
KNOW YOU'RE HERE.

YOU MUSTN'T.
MR. RENE VILADEL IS NOT HERE.

NOW, YOU SHOULDN'T
HAVE SAID THAT.

WHAT ELSE--
YOU'VE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE!

ALL RIGHT,
WELL, GOOD-BYE.

NO, NO,
YOU CAN'T!

WOULD YOU PLEASE
MAKE UP YOUR MIND?

MR. RENE VILADEL
IS NOT HERE.

DON'T SAY
"MR. VILADEL!"

WHAT?

I'M NOT HERE.

I COULDN'T SAY ANYTHING
ELSE THAN THAT.

AGNES!

AGNES, CALL
THE POLICE DEPARTMENT

AND HAVE THEM
GET THOSE MEN AWAY

FROM THE FRONT OF THE HOUSE.

MR. CHESTER'S COMING TONIGHT
FOR DINNER, AND I...

RENE.

GOOD EVENING.

GOOD EVENING.

WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE?

I THOUGHT
I DISCHARGED YOU THIS MORNING.

YES, I KNOW.

I'VE BEEN TRYING TO GO,

BUT THOSE MEN HAVE BEEN
WAITING TO TAKE MY PICTURE.

THEY WANT ME TO GIVE
THEM A STORY ABOUT US.

I WAS AFRAID
TO LET HIM GO.

MR. RENE VILADEL
IS NOT HERE.

WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?!

WELL, AGNES SAID THAT

I WASN'T TO LET
ANYONE KNOW

THAT I WAS HERE,
YOU SEE.

OH, RENE!

HOW COULD YOU DO
A THING LIKE THAT?!

THE PHONE HAS
BEEN RINGING ALL AFTERNOON.

SOMEBODY CALLS
EVERY 10 SECONDS.

AND I SUPPOSE YOU
ANSWERED IT EACH TIME?

OH, YES, PROMPTLY.

THAT'S GREAT!

PROBABLY ALL
OF LONDON

WILL BE DROPPING IN
AROUND DINNERTIME.

WHAT MASK SHALL
I WEAR, MADAM?

HOW DARE YOU STAY HERE

AFTER I TOLD
YOU TO GET OUT?

DID YOU WANT ME
TO GO OUT

AND TELL THOSE MEN
THAT YOU LOVE ME?

YOU'RE THE MOST MADDENING
PERSON I'VE EVER KNOWN.

OH, NO.
I CAN'T.

SOMEBODY WILL
THINK I'M HERE.

AS IF THIS MORNING
WASN'T ENOUGH.

YOU KNOW, EVERYBODY THAT CAME
INTO THE DRESSING ROOM

ACTED IS IF THEY
EXPECTED TO SEE YOU

JUMP OUT OF THE WARDROBE.

DO YOU KNOW IT
TOOK ME ALL DAY

TO CONVINCE PHILIP
THAT MY INTEREST IN YOU

BEGINS AND ENDS
IN THE KITCHEN?!

DON'T ANSWER THAT!

WHY DID I GO TO PARIS?!

I'M GOING MAD!

YOU ANSWER ALL
THE PHONE CALLS.

YES, MISS WINTERS.

AND IF ANYBODY
ASKS FOR ME,

TELL THEM
I'VE GONE TO SLEEP!

OH, I HOPE I WAKE UP

AND FIND THIS IS
JUST A BAD DREAM!

NOW, DEAR,
TRY TO BE CALM.

CALM? MY REPUTATION'S
IN SHREDS,

MY HOUSE TURNED INTO
A LUNATIC ASYLUM,

AND YOU TELL ME TO BE--

GET OUT OF HERE, DARLING.

GET OUT QUICKLY
BEFORE I SHOOT YOU!

HAVE I GOT TO GET A LEGAL
INJUNCTION TO GET RID OF YOU?

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

WHAT I'VE BEEN
WAITING FOR FOR DAYS.

YOU.

OH, RENE.

DON'T ANSWER THAT.

LET'S BE SANE
ABOUT THIS THING.

YOU CAN'T BE SANE
ABOUT LOVE.

I CAN. I'M A VERY
SANE WOMAN.

I FOUND THAT OUT.

STUPID TO SAY THIS IS LOVE.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU.

ALL I KNOW IS YOU'RE
A CHARMING YOUNG MAN

WHO MAKES A DEVINE SALAD.

AND DON'T FORGET
THE CREPE SUZETTES.

YOU HAVE NICE EYES
AND A BREEZY TONGUE,

BUT THAT'S NOT
NECESSARILY A BASIS

FOR AN ENDURING LOVE!

YOU TALK OF LOVE
AS IF IT WERE SOMETHING

WITH A CORNERSTONE
AND STEEL GIRDERS.

A LAUGH,
A MOMENT OF GAIETY,

A MOMENT OF EXALTATION,

THEN THE WHOLE PROBLEM
BECOMES QUITE SIMPLE.

AND WE BECOME
QUITE SIMPLE-MINDED.

YES. SO,
MAY I STAY, KAY?

NOW THAT IT'S ALL SETTLED?

BUT THERE'S NOTHING
SETTLED, RENE.

THERE'S STILL A QUESTION
WHETHER THIS IS LOVE AT ALL.

ALL RIGHT.

WELL, I'LL STAY HERE

UNTIL THAT QUESTION
IS SETTLED.

VERY WELL. DO YOU WANT
TO BE MY SERVANT?

YES, KAY.

"YES, MISS WINTERS."

YES, MISS WINTERS.

THEN YOU CAN
START TONIGHT.

THERE'LL BE
DINNER FOR TWO.

TWO FOR DINNER.

I WANT IT
EXCEPTIONALLY NICE.

EXCEPTIONALLY NICE.

MR. CHESTER'S COMING.

MR. CHESTER.

YES,
MISS WINTERS.

OH, I BEG YOUR PARDON,
MISS WINTERS,

JUST ONE MORE QUESTION.

WHEN IS MY DAY OFF?

EVERY SUNDAY.

NOW, DON'T FORGET,
THAT'S A STANDING DATE.

THERE'S NOTHING IN IT.

THIS ARTICHOKE IS NO GOOD.

DEWEY, MY FRIEND,
I'M AFRAID YOU HAVEN'T

HAD MUCH EXPERIENCE
WITH ARTICHOKES.

YEP.

I GUESS I'M STRICTLY
A SPINACH MAN.

HEY, HOW DO YOU
LIKE MY NEW RIG?

PERFECT.

IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

I KNOW MR. CHESTER
WILL BE IMPRESSED.

RENE...

IS THAT GUY
IN YOUR WAY?

WHO?
PHIL.

THE ALL-AMERICAN
CHESTER PROTECTOR.

OH, HE'S NOTHING TO
WORRY ABOUT, DEWEY.

JUST A LITTLE DUST
IN MY EYE.

HE'LL BLOW AWAY
SOON.

WELL, WHY DOES SHE KEEP
HIM HANGING AROUND?

SO THAT I'LL SEE HIM.

SHE'S PLAYING A LITTLE
GAME WITH ME.

I AM AFRAID SHE WANTS
TO MAKE ME JEALOUS.

LOOK...

IF YOU'D LIKE ME TO SOCK
HIM IN THE EYE TONIGHT,

JUST TIP ME OFF.

AH, DEWEY,
MY FRIEND,

YOU HAVE THE WRONG
APPROACH.

YOU MUST BE VERY
NICE TO MR. CHESTER.

YOU MUST MAKE
HIM VERY HAPPY

AT HIS SUPPER TONIGHT.

WE MUST LET
HIM SEE THAT

WE ALL LOVE
HIM VERY MUCH.

YOU MIGHT AS
WELL GET USED TO SERVING HIM.

SHH.

AGNES TOLD ME
IN THE STRICTEST CONFIDENCE

THAT THIS WAS
GOING TO BE

AN ENGAGEMENT
DINNER.

I CAN BELIEVE IT.

WELL, YEAH!

OH, WE'VE BEEN
EXPECTING IT A LONG TIME.

MARK MY WORDS,

HE'LL GO OUT
OF HERE TONIGHT AN ENGAGED MAN.

MYRTLE, I WANT YOU TO
BE THE FIRST ONE TO KNOW

THAT MR. CHESTER WILL
NOT GO OUT OF HERE TONIGHT

AS AN ENGAGED MAN.

OH, YEAH?
OH, YEAH.

NO, I'M NOT
THE LOVE CHEF!

HELLO, MR. CHESTER.

HELLO, MYRTLE.
WHERE'S MISS WINTERS?

HELLO, PHIL,
DARLING!

KAY, WHAT IS
THIS ANYWAY?

A WHOLE CROWD
OF MEN OUT THERE

ASKING ME IF I'M
THE LOVE CHEF--

HOW SWEET!

A BUSY MAN LIKE YOU

TO PICK ALL THESE
FLOWERS FOR ME.

BUT, KAY, WHO ARE ALL
THOSE MEN OUT THERE?

JUST
PHOTOGRAPHERS!

OH, DARLING,
ORCHIDS. I LOVE THEM!

RENE! RENE!

I KNOW, BUT A WHOLE
BUNCH OF MEN

STOPPED ME AS I...

MONSIEUR IS BUSY.

ANYTHING I CAN DO?

OH, YES, DO!

YOU CAN TAKE THESE
FLOWERS FOR ME.

OH, NOT THOSE.
THESE.

HERE.

CAREFUL.

DON'T CRUSH THEM,
DEWEY.

MY HAY FEVER.

I'M ALLERGIC TO POLLEN.

OH, SORRY.

AND, DEWEY, WE'LL
HAVE HIGHBALLS BEFORE DINNER.

THAT'S OK WITH ME.

I'LL TELL THE CHEF.

KAY, I DON'T WANT
TO BE DIFFICULT,

BUT I THOUGHT
YOU TOLD ME

YOU GOT RID OF
THOSE TWO FELLOWS.

RENE? I DID.

I FIRED HIM RUDELY.

THE STREET WAS BLACK
WITH REPORTERS.

LONG AS HE HAD TO STAY,

I THOUGHT HE MIGHT
AS WELL MAKE DINNER.

AFTER ALL, HE IS
A WONDERFUL CHEF.

I KNOW, BUT IT'S VERY
EMBARRASSING TO ME

FOR YOU TO HAVE THOSE TWO--

SHERRY? I THOUGHT
I ORDERED HIGHBALLS.

I KNOW, MISS WINTERS.

BUT MR. RENE SAID
SHERRY WAS BETTER

FOR THE MEAL
HE PREPARED.

IT'S STARTING.

MYRTLE, ANSWER THAT.

AND WHOEVER IT IS,
TELL THEM I'M OUT.

HELLO.

OH, I'M SORRY,
LADY MALVERTON,

BUT MISS WINTERS
IS OUT TO DINNER.

YES, MA'AM.

GOOD-BYE.

MYRTLE, ANSWER ALL
THE OTHER CALLS IN THE KITCHEN.

WE DON'T WANT
TO BE DISTURBED BY ANYBODY.

YES, MISS WINTERS.

THANK YOU.

HERE'S TO THE LOVELIEST GIRL
IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD.

AND TO THE FIRST OF
A MILLION QUIET EVENINGS

WE'LL SPEND TOGETHER.

WELL, HERE'S TO
THIS ONE ANYWAY.

DINNER IS SERVED.

COME, PHILIP.

MUST WE HAVE
THOSE CANDLES, KAY?

I CAN'T SEE YOU AT ALL.

TAKE THEM AWAY,
RENE.

NO CENTERPIECE
AT ALL, MADAM?

NO CENTERPIECE
AT ALL.

NO CENTERPIECE AT ALL.

EXCUSE ME, SIR.

DARLING, THESE
LAST TWO DAYS,

THEY'VE BEEN--
YOU'VE BEEN SO--

WELL...

I MEAN...

THESE LAST TWO DAYS--

THESE LAST TWO--

DAYS?

YOU SEEM TO HAVE QUITE
A RETINUE OF SERVANTS.

NO, THANKS.

GO AHEAD, TAKE SOME.

WE GOT PLENTY.

AH! ALPHABET SOUP.

YES.

DARLING, I HOPE
YOU'VE THOUGHT OVER

WHAT WE DISCUSSED
LAST NIGHT.

WE SURELY SHOULD KNOW BY--

I MEAN, YOU SURELY SHOULD--

I MEAN...

SHOULD...

I'VE LOST THE THREAD
OF MY THOUGHT.

RENE, WAIT IN
THE KITCHEN.

IN THE KITCHEN, MADAM?

IN THE KITCHEN.

IN THE KITCHEN.

I KNEW WE SHOULD HAVE
DINED AT THE SAVOY.

THEY'LL BE OUT OF THE WAY SOON.

I FEEL AS IF I WERE
DELIVERING A SPEECH

AT WATERLOO STATION.

OH, I THINK YOU'VE
DONE VERY WELL

UNDER GREAT
DIFFICULTIES.

BUT, DARLING, I DID
SO WANT YOU TO MYSELF,

AT LEAST FOR THIS--OH...

ONE LITTLE EVENING.

PARDON ME.

A CIGARETTE BETWEEN
COURSES, MR. CHESTER?

IF YOU DON'T MIND.

OH, BEG YOUR
PARDON, SIR.

OF COURSE NOT.

IT'S MERELY THAT
IT WILL DESTROY

THE QUALITY OF THE FOOD.

THE MEAL I HAD PREPARED
IS ALL NUANCE.

IT'S MORE DELICATE
THAN A BUBBLE.

I--I...

SORRY.

THIS WAS ONLY
MEANT AS A SUGGESTION, SIR.

IT'S JUST A HABIT.

I GUESS ALL THESE
CIGARETTES ARE...

ARE YOU OPENING A BOTTLE
OF CHAMPAGNE TONIGHT?

YES, I'VE SAVED
A BOTTLE OF

CORDON ROUGE 1923

FOR A SPECIAL
OCCASION LIKE THIS.

GOOD!

IT SOUNDS AS THOUGH WE HAD
SOMETHING TO CELEBRATE!

OH, KAY, DARLING,
I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW

YOU DON'T--OH.

SOME ASSISTANT, HUH?

DOES IT TAKE
3 PEOPLE

TO SERVE A SIMPLE
MEAL FOR TWO?

I NEED ASSISTANTS, MADAM.

SEE IF YOU CAN
DO WITHOUT IT.

WITHOUT IT?

WITHOUT IT.
YES, MADAM.

SNAILS!

SNAILS?!

HOW DO YOU FEEL
ABOUT SNAILS?

WELL, TO TELL
YOU THE TRUTH,

I'VE ALWAYS HAD A SORT
OF INFERIORITY COMPLEX

ABOUT THEM--I KNOW
I OUGHT TO LIKE THEM.

WE COULD THROW THEM
OUT THE WINDOW.

AH, IS THIS
THE CHAMPAGNE?

NO, SIR, THIS IS A VERY
FINE CHABLIS 1921.

BUT, KAY,
I THOUGHT YOU SAID

WE WERE TO
HAVE CHAMPAGNE!

MOST AUTHORITIES
AGREE, SIR,

THAT CHAMPAGNE AND SNAILS
DON'T GO WELL TOGETHER.

OF COURSE!

I DIDN'T NOTICE!

YOUR SNAIL, SIR.

IS THAT ALL, SIR?

YES!

THANK YOU, SIR.

CONFOUNDED
POMPOUS PEST!

OH, RENE!

MR. RENE IS BUSY
WITH YOUR OMELET.

ALL RIGHT,
MYRTLE.

WE WON'T HAVE
THE SNAILS.

YES, BUT
MR. RENE--

WE WON'T HAVE
THE SNAILS!

KAY, I'VE GOT TO
HAVE A CIGARETTE.

WELL, TAKE ONE.
ASSERT YOURSELF!

HE'S SO DOG-GONE SUPERIOR.

THIS IS VERY
GOOD WINE.

YES.

I HAVEN'T FINISHED
THAT WINE.

PLEASE LEAVE IT.

WE ARE HAVING
CHATEAU LAFITE WITH THE OMELET, SIR.

BRING ME
A WHISKEY AND SODA WITH MY OMELET.

A WHISKEY AND SODA
WITH THE OMELET, SIR?

VERY WELL, SIR.

DARLING,

I THINK
CHATEAU LAFITE WILL BE BETTER.

POSSIBLY, BUT
I'M NOT GONNA LET HIM

TELL ME WHAT TO DRINK.

OH, KAY, DARLING,
WHY DID TONIGHT

HAVE TO TURN OUT
LIKE THIS?

I HAD IT ALL PLANNED
SO DIFFERENTLY.

THIS EVENING WHILE
I WAS DRESSING,

I THOUGHT OF A HUNDRED THINGS
I WANTED TO SAY TO YOU,

BUT SO FAR, I'VE--

WELL, WHY DO YOU
LOOK SO GUILTY?

I'M AS JUMPY AS A GOAT.
HE STARTLED ME.

I DIDN'T HEAR
HIM COME IN.

SILENCE IS ESSENTIAL
IN A GOOD SERVANT, SIR.

SILENCE IS
ONE THING,

AND STEALTH
IS ANOTHER.

I'M SORRY, MISS WINTERS.

KAY, DARLING,
I WAS THINKING,

AFTER ALL THIS
UNPLEASANT TALK,

AND ALL THE NEWSPAPER
REPORTERS AND EVERYTHING,

MAYBE IT WOULD
BE A GOOD IDEA

FOR US TO GET
OUT OF LONDON.

AND WE COULD FLY
TO PARIS TOMORROW

AND YOU COULD SPEND
A COUPLE OF DAYS

TROUSSEAU SHOPPING,
AND THEN YOU COULD

CATCH THE BOAT AT
LA HAVRE ON WEDNESDAY.

AND THEN WE COU--

RENE, WHAT ARE
YOU DOING?

I WAS JUST WARNING
MR. CHESTER

THAT I WAS COMING,
MISS WINTERS.

WELL, YOU DON'T
HAVE TO BE SO ELABORATE ABOUT IT.

WE'RE NOT DEAD.

NO,
MISS WINTERS.

I ASKED FOR
A WHISKEY AND SODA!

OH, HO, HO.
I BEG YOUR PARDON, SIR.

I THOUGHT YOU WERE
JOKING, YOU SEE--

I'M SORRY.

YOU SEE, IF I
MAY SAY SO, SIR,

I THINK YOU DON'T
QUITE UNDERSTAND THAT

WITH AN OMELET--

I UNDERSTAND PERFECTLY!

I'VE EATEN
EGGS BEFORE!

YES, BUT NOT
THE WAY I MAKE THEM.

YOU SEE--

THAT'LL BE
ENOUGH, RENE!

YES, MISS WINTERS.

THIS OMELET HAS BEEN VERY
CAREFULLY SEASONED, SIR,

AND I THINK YOU'LL
FIND IT SATISFACTORY

WITHOUT ANY MORE SALT.

I HAPPEN TO LIKE SALT!

HE LIKES SALT!

NO.

NO!

OF COURSE,
IF YOU REALLY WANT A WHISKEY AND SODA--

RENE!

YES, MISS WINTERS!

EXCUSE ME FOR
LAUGHING, DARLING,

BUT YOU LOOK SO FUNNY.

I GUESS I DO.

I GUESS I'VE BEEN
FUNNY ALL EVENING.

I GUESS I GAVE YOU
BOTH A GOOD LAUGH.

OH, PLEASE, PHILIP!

NOW, DON'T ACT LIKE THAT.

YOU'LL SPOIL OUR
WHOLE EVENING.

I'LL SPOIL
OUR EVENING?!

PLEASE, PHILIP,
NOW KISS ME

AND WE'LL HAVE
A NICE QUIET TALK

WITHOUT ANY INTERRUPTIONS.

WILL YOU KISS ME?

WILL I?!

YOUR WHISKEY
AND SODA, SIR.

PHILIP, WAIT!
GET OUT OF HERE, RENE.

OUT, MADAM?
YES, OUT.

OUT. BUT--
YES.

OH, I...

I MUST APOLOGIZE.

HE'S NOT A VERY
GOOD SERVANT.

NO, I GUESS
HE ISN'T.

I GUESS HE'S A MUCH
BETTER SWEETHEART!

SO, YOU THINK THAT, TOO?

WELL, WHY
SHOULDN'T I?

ISN'T THAT WHAT ALL
OF LONDON THINKS?

ALREADY
YOU AND YOUR COOK

HAVE REPLACED CRICKET

AS THE NATIONAL
AMUSEMENT OF ENGLAND!

WELL, IF YOU'VE HAD YOUR
EVENING'S AMUSEMENT,

WILL YOU PLEASE
GET OUT OF HERE?!

GO?
YES.

I WANT YOU TO TAKE YOUR
UNSULLIED SPLENDOR

OUT OF MY HOUSE.

CERTAINLY.

YOUR HAT AND COAT, SIR.

RENE!

YES, MADAM?

YOU WERE VERY PROMPT

WITH MR. CHESTER'S
COAT AND HAT.

YES, MADAM.
TOO PROMPT.

YES, MADAM.

I'D LIKE TO TALK
ABOUT BEING SPIED ON.

YES, MADAM.

I SUPPOSE YOU'VE HEARD
WE'RE REPLACED CRICKET

AS THE NATIONAL
AMUSEMENT OF ENGLAND.

YES, MADAM.

STOP CALLING
ME MADAM!

YES, DARLING.

OH, I'M SICK OF
YOUR CLOWNING.

YOU'VE HAD LOTS OF FUN,
LOTS OF LAUGHS,

YOU AND THE REST
OF LONDON.

YES, THERE HAVE
BEEN MOMENTS.

MOMENTS?

AND I THINK THERE
HAVE BEEN MOMENTS FOR YOU, TOO.

I CERTAINLY HAD
A BIG MOMENT TONIGHT.

WITH PHILIP AGAINST ME,

EVERYBODY IN
LONDON WILL THINK

I'M IN LOVE
WITH MY COOK.

WELL, THAT'S TRUE,
ISN'T IT?

WE LOVE EACH OTHER.

A MYSTERIOUS FORCE
HAS BEEN DRAWING US TOGETHER.

I DON'T FEEL ANY
MYSTERIOUS FORCE

DRAWING ME TO YOU,

UNLESS IT'S AN IMPULSE
TO BRAIN YOU.

NOW, KAY, DARLING,

YOU KNOW THAT'S NOT TRUE.

WHY'VE YOU GOT ME
IN YOUR HOUSE?

BECAUSE I COULDN'T
GET RID OF YOU.

BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T
WANT TO GET RID OF ME.

OH, SHUT UP.

DON'T PRETEND
TO BE FURIOUS.

YOUR HEART IS BEATING
JUST AS FAST AS MINE IS.

THIS IS THE MOMENT
YOU'VE BEEN WAITING FOR.

AND EVEN NOW,
YOU HAVEN'T GOT

THE COURAGE TO TAKE IT.

KAY, YOU LOVE ME.

I DON'T LOVE YOU.

I DON'T LOVE YOU.

I DON'T LOVE YOU AT ALL.

I DON'T EVEN
LOVE YOU THAT MUCH.

THAT'S WHAT I MEAN.

YOU LOVE ME.

AND, KAY...

KAY...

KAY, I LOVE YOU,
DARLING.

LET ME GO
OR I'LL SCREAM.

NO, DON'T SCREAM!
REMEMBER LONDON.

OH, I'M SORRY.

OH, GET OUT
OF HERE.

GET OUT.

DO I HAVE TO HAVE YOU
HANGING AROUND HERE

FOREVER MAKING
A FOOL OF ME?

OH, DOES IT
HURT VERY MUCH?

NO!
I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

I NEVER WANT TO
HEAR OF YOU AGAIN.

I WANT YOU TO TAKE
THAT POP-EYED HOBO ASSISTANT OF YOURS

AND GET OUT!
ALL RIGHT.

ALL RIGHT, WELL,
I'M GOING TO DO

EXACTLY WHAT YOU
DON'T WANT ME TO DO.

I'M GOING STRAIGHT
BACK TO PARIS.

GOOD-BYE!

THERE!

THAT'S MISS WINTERS RINGING.

I'LL GO. I JUST GAVE
HER A LITTLE BITE.

SHE MIGHT WANT
A SECOND HELPING.

MADAME RANG?

YES, MADAME RANG,
BUT NOT FOR YOU.

BUT AS LONG AS
YOU'RE HERE, YOU CAN DO IT.

LOOK OUT IN FRONT
AND SEE IF

THOSE REPORTERS
ARE STILL HERE.

4 LEFT.

ASK THEM TO COME IN.

COME IN HERE?

YOU HEARD.

TELL THEM TO COME IN!

WILL YOU PLEASE COME IN,
GENTLEMEN.

MISS WINTERS IS GOING
TO SEE YOU NOW.

THANK YOU.

HI, GOOD EVENING.

GOOD EVENING.
GOOD EVENING.

GENTLEMEN, YOU CAN
ANNOUNCE IN YOUR PAPERS

THAT MR. PHILIP CHESTER
AND I SHALL BE MARRIED

FROM THE HOME OF HIS
PARENTS IN FORT WAYNE.

CONGRATULATIONS.

WE'LL FLY TO PARIS
IN THE MORNING

AND SAIL FROM LA HAVRE
ON THURSDAY.

THAT'S ALL, GENTLEMEN.

WHAT ABOUT
THE LOVE CHEF?

THERE IS NO LOVE CHEF,

UNLESS YOU MEAN
MY BUTLER THERE.

HE'S MARRIED TO MY MAID.

OH, YES, GENTLEMEN.

I'VE BEEN MARRIED TO MYRTLE
FOR ABOUT A COUPLE OF YEARS.

WE HAVE A LITTLE BOY
NAMED DEWEY.

HE'S 9, HE'S ABOUT--

THAT'LL BE ALL, RENE.

THEY'RE NOT INTERESTED
IN THE DETAILS.

YOU MAY GO.

YES, MISS WINTERS.

WELL,
GOOD EVENING, MISS WINTERS.

AND THANK YOU
VERY MUCH.

I HOPE YOU
AND MR. CHESTER WILL BE VERY HAPPY.

WELL, THANK YOU.

GOOD NIGHT, GENTLEMEN.

GOOD NIGHT.

GOOD NIGHT.
GOOD NIGHT.

IS IT TRUE?

ARE YOU
AND MR. CHESTER

REALLY GOING
TO BE MARRIED?

OF COURSE NOT!

I WOULDN'T HAVE
HIM FOR A STAND-IN.

THEY WHY DID--
WHY? WHY?

YOU'RE ALWAYS
ASKING ME WHY.

I HAVE REASONS.

BESIDES, IF I ANNOUNCE
MY ENGAGEMENT TO PHILIP,

MAYBE IT WILL CLEAR UP
THIS LOVE CHEF TALK.

I'M GOING TO BED.

BRING ME MY HOT MILK!

ALL RIGHT, MISS WINTERS.

RIGHT AWAY.

WHEN I THINK OF
A GIRL LIKE KAY

GETTING MARRIED
IN FORT WAYNE,

I COULD CRY.

WHEN I THINK OF ANYBODY
GETTING MARRIED IN FORT WAYNE,

I COULD CRY.

IF YOU WERE
A GIRL, DEWEY,

WOULDN'T YOU
RATHER MARRY ME

THAN MR. PHILIP CHESTER?

IF I WERE A GIRL,
I'D RATHER MARRY ME.

OH, BE SERIOUS.

SHE'S NOT GONNA MARRY HIM.

SHE'S JUST GIVING
YOU THE NEEDLES.

CAN'T YOU SEE THAT?

SHE CAN'T GET RID
OF HIM FAST ENOUGH.

I'LL BET IF HE WERE
TO COME BACK HERE,

SHE'D THROW
THE PIANO AT HIM.

YOU SURE?

I'M SURE I'M SURE.

HELLO, PUT ME THROUGH TO
MR. PHILIP CHESTER, PLEASE.

HELLO, MR. CHESTER.

THIS IS MR. PLAGG,
THE SOCIETY ED AT THE "PRESS."

YES, MISS WINTERS HAS
JUST GIVEN US PERMISSION

TO ANNOUNCE YOUR ENGAGEMENT.

YES, YOU AND MISS WINTERS.

WE'D BE VERY GRATEFUL
IF YOU COULD POP OVER

TO MISS WINTERS' HOUSE
FOR A PHOTOGRAPH.

YOU BET I WILL.

I'LL BE TICKLED TO DEATH.

UH, A STATEMENT TO MAKE?

WELL...

YOU CAN JUST SAY THAT

I'M SO HAPPY--HA HA HA!

CAN I SPEAK
TO MISS WINTERS?

OH, SHE IS? WELL--
WELL, NEVER MIND.

NO, I'LL COME RIGHT OVER.

YEAH.

OH, BOY, AM I HAPPY!

DEWEY, DUST OFF
THE PIANO.

NOW,
YOU'RE WORKING.

I'M SORRY YOU'RE
BOTH LEAVING.

HAVE YOU OTHER
PLACES IN MIND?

OH, YES.

PARIS.

I CAN ALWAYS GO BACK
TO MY OLD BUSINESS.

WHAT'S THAT?

I USED TO BE A HERMIT.

I'LL TAKE THAT IN.

OH, BUT I--

I'LL TAKE IT IN.
YES, BUT--

YES?

I DON'T QUITE KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE DOING HERE.

AS A LAST SERVICE
BEFORE LEAVING YOUR HOUSE,

I BROUGHT YOU
YOUR HOT MILK.

YOU'D BEST SERVE ME

BY UNLOCKING THE DOOR
AND GETTING OUT.

IN A MOMENT.

I WANT TO TALK
TO YOU FIRST.

WE HAVE NOTHING
TO TALK ABOUT!

I DON'T WANT
TO TALK TO YOU!

I HAVE NOTHING
TO SAY TO YOU.

TOMORROW YOU WILL
SAIL FROM ENGLAND

AND WE MAY NEVER SEE
EACH OTHER AGAIN, KAY.

OH, THAT'S
WONDERFUL.

THEN PERHAPS I CAN LEAD
A NORMAL LIFE AGAIN.

IT ISN'T NORMAL
TO BE WITHOUT LOVE.

WELL, IT CERTAINLY
ISN'T NORMAL

TO BE IN LOVE
WITH YOU.

GIVE ME THAT KEY.

IF YOU GO OUT THAT DOOR,

I WON'T MARRY YOU.

MARRY YOU?!

WHY, I--

NOW, TAKE YOUR TIME, DARLING.

I'LL WAIT.

GIVE ME THAT KEY!

YOU'RE FURIOUS NOW BECAUSE
YOUR VANITY IS WOUNDED.

BUT IN A LITTLE WHILE,
YOU'LL GET OVER THAT

AND YOU'LL MARRY ME.

MARRY YOU? I WANT
YOU TO GET OUT

OF THIS BEDROOM
IMMEDIATELY!

IF PHILIP WAS HERE,

HE'D TAKE YOU BY
THE BACK OF THE NECK

AND TOSS YOU RIGHT
OUT ON THE STREET.

YES?!

KAY, DARLING?
IT'S ME, PHILIP.

I'VE COME BACK.

YOU'VE MADE ME
SO HAPPY!

KAY, PHILIP IS HERE.

I'VE GONE TO BED, PHILIP!

BED?!

I CAME OVER TO SIT
FOR SOME PICTURES.

THE "DAILY PRESS"
CALLED ME UP.

THEY SAID
YOU'D ANNOUNCED OUR ENGAGEMENT.

OH, KAY,
I'M SO HAPPY!

BUT THE REPORTERS HAVE LEFT!

WE'LL TAKE THE PICTURES
IN THE MORNING.

I'VE GONE TO BED
OFFICIALLY, PHILIP.

GOOD NIGHT...

DEAREST.

NO, I'M NOT
GOING HOME NOW.

I CAN'T GO HOME.

I'M TOO HAPPY!

SLIP ON SOMETHING
AND COME ON OUT.

WE'LL HAVE A DRINK
TO OUR ENGAGEMENT.

TAKE YOUR TIME,
DARLING.

I'LL WAIT IN
THE LIVING ROOM.

OH, KAY,
I'M SO HAPPY!

YOU WANTED PHILIP.

GO TO HIM.

BUT I DON'T WANT PHILIP.

I NEVER WANTED HIM.

DARLING, DARLING,

HOW LONG IT'S TAKEN.

TWO DAYS.
TOO LONG.

WELL, MY LIFE WAS
SO NICE AND PEACEFUL

UNTIL YOU
CAME ALONG.

NOW WE CAN GET MARRIED

AND NEVER BE PEACEFUL
AGAIN, DARLING.

OH, NO, DEAR.

IT'S OUT OF THE QUESTION.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

OH, YOU HAVEN'T
A PENNY TO YOUR NAME.

YOU COULDN'T
EVEN SUPPORT ME.

THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

YOU CAN SUPPORT
YOURSELF.

OH, RENE, THAT
SOUNDS DREADFUL.

YOU COULDN'T MARRY A WOMAN
THAT MAKES MORE IN A WEEK

THAN YOU DO IN TWO YEARS.

WHY NOT?

I'LL GUARANTEE
TO SUPPORT MYSELF.

YOU CAN DO THE SAME.

AND WHO WILL YOU
COOK FOR NEXT?

I'LL HAVE MY OWN
RESTAURANT.

IT'LL BE A BIG THING
WITH CAFE RENE ON IT.

DARLING, IT'S SO IMPOSSIBLE.

IF THEY SAY THAT GOOD-LOOKING
RESTAURANT KEEPER--

KAY WINTERS HUSBAND--
USED TO BE HER COOK,

SHE BOUGHT
THE RESTAURANT FOR HIM.

YOU WOULDN'T LIKE THAT.
YOU COULDN'T STAND IT.

YOU DON'T WANT
TO MARRY ME.

OH, DARLING, IF YOU
ONLY KNEW HOW MUCH.

RENE, I'M NOT A SNOB,
BUT LOOK AT US.

I'M A MOVIE STAR--

AND I'M ONLY A POOR
FRENCH MARQUIS.

A MARQUIS?

ARE YOU A MARQUIS?

YES.

YOU SEE,
YOU ARE A SNOB.

WELL, NOT AT ALL.

YOUR TITLE DOESN'T
INTEREST ME A BIT.

BUT, DARLING,
WHY DON'T YOU USE IT?

IT'S SO UNIMPORTANT,

EXCEPT TO AMERICANS.

IT WOULD SOUND
RATHER WELL,

WOULDN'T THAT?
MADAME DE MARQUIS.

YOU'D HAVE A LITTLE
CREST ON YOUR NOTEPAPER,

YOUR CAR,
YOUR PILLOWSLIP,

YOU COULD TELL YOUR
PUBLIC THAT MY FATHER

WAS A MARQUIS,
AND MY GRANDFATHER,

AND HIS FATHER
BEFORE HIM.

KAY, WOULD YOU LIKE
TO HAVE A DUKE AT YOUR TABLE?

WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO
HAVE A ROYAL PRINCE

AS YOUR WEEKEND GUEST?

COOK OR NO COOK,

I'D BE QUITE A CATCH
FOR YOU, WOULDN'T I?

YOU SAY YOU'RE
ONLY AN ACTRESS.

AND I'M A MARQUIS.

WAIT, WAIT!
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!

ANYWHERE.
WHAT DO YOU CARE?

RENE!

YOU CAN'T DO
THIS TO ME!

YOU KNOW AS
WELL AS I DO

I DON'T CARE ANYTHING
ABOUT YOUR TITLE.

WHAT'S GOING
ON HERE, KAY?! HELLO, PHILIP!

RENE, YOU KNOW
AS WELL AS I DO

THAT PEOPLE DON'T
GO AROUND MARRYING THEIR COOKS,

I MEAN, WITHOUT
A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF HESITATION.

I WANT YOU TO
EXPLAIN TO ME--

SHUT UP, PHILIP!

RENE, PLEASE STAND STILL
AND LISTEN TO ME.

I'M PERFECTLY
WILLING TO ADMIT

I WAS CRAZY ABOUT YOU
FROM THE FIRST MOMENT--

KAY, YOU HAVE NO RIGHT
TO DO SUCH A THING TO ME!

RENE, DON'T LEAVE ME!

IF YOU LEAVE
LIKE THIS,

I MAY NEVER
SEE YOU AGAIN.

RENE, DON'T LEAVE ME!

OH, SHUT UP, PHILIP!

IT SEEMS TO ME I HAVE
A PERFECT RIGHT

TO CALL THE WHOLE
THING OFF, KAY.

OH, SHUT UP, PHILIP!

OH, RENE, WAIT!

I'LL GIVE YOU
ONE MORE CHANCE!

COME BACK BEFORE
I COUNT 3!

ONE, TWO!

OH, KAY,
I'M SO UNHAPPY!

RENE, WAIT!

STOP FOLLOWING ME!

NO, YOU FOLLOWED ME
ALL THE WAY FROM PARIS.

I WON'T MAKE
THE SAME MISTAKE AGAIN.

OH, RENE, I CAN'T
SEE IN THIS FOG.

SOMEDAY YOUR
EYES WILL OPEN.

OH, RENE, COME HOME.
YOU'LL CATCH COLD!

I DON'T CARE.

WELL, I'LL CATCH COLD!

STOP FOLLOWING ME.

I WILL NOT!
THE STREET'S FREE!

PLEASE WAIT!

RENE!

RENE, DARLING.

WAIT! STOP!

YOU'LL CATCH COLD!

I DON'T CARE.

WELL,
I'LL CATCH COLD.

ALL RIGHT,
GET IN THERE.

WHERE ARE WE GOING?

I DON'T KNOW.

I'M GETTING SCARED.

WHERE ARE WE?

I DON'T KNOW!

DARLING, DARLING.

PLEASE--PLEASE,
DON'T BE SO STUBBORN.

WE CAN FLY OVER TO
PARIS IN THE MORNING.

NO ONE IN LONDON
WILL EVER KNOW.

OH, HONEY.

DARLING, PLEASE PUT
YOUR ARMS AROUND ME.

I'M--I'M FRIGHTENED.

WHERE ARE WE?

MUST BE AN OLD WAREHOUSE.

WELL, LET'S GET
OUT OF HERE.

OH, DARLING,
KISS ME FIRST.

NO ONE
WILL EVER KNOW.

IT'S THE OPERA
HOUSE!

NO ONE IN LONDON
WILL EVER KNOW.

IS THAT ALL, MADAME?

NO!