Fools Rush In (1997) - full transcript

Domo arigato.

Domo Ari... gato.

Santa, Santa.

Greetings.

Konnichi-wa.

Greetings. Konnichi-wa.

Konnichi-wa.

Greetings.

Konnichi-wa.

Can I get by?

Greetings.



Konnichi-wa.

Hey, there's a face
I haven't seen in a long time.

Hey! How are you, Alex? How was Miami?

Great, great. We opened
the doors last Saturday.

Oh, I hope you packed your snowshoes.

J.F.K. took me three hours.

So you in town for a while?

No. Next stop is Tokyo.

You guys are takin' over the world.

That's the idea.

- Merry Christmas!
- Domo arigato!

Shh!

Ay!

Adios! Feliz Navidad!



Whoa, whoa, whoa. Am I on the right floor?

Who are you people, and why
don't you work for a living?

Hey! Mr. 'On Time And Under Budget'!

Long time no see.

What's with the fish?

It's a key chain.

What's with the party? We still
design nightclubs, right?

Not during the holidays.
Merry Christmas, Whitman.

- Merry Christmas.
- Sushi?

Hey, hey.

Oh! Yo, Hemingway.

Hold up. Hold up.

Not so fast.

I see your divorce has left you shattered.

I finally found two women
who understand my pain.

Listen, you don't want to go in there.

Why? What's up?

Charlie Peters just got Tokyo.
He leaves in the morning.

You are taking over in Vegas.

No, no, no. I was supposed to get Tokyo.

You do not want Tokyo.

Oh, I don't want Tokyo? I want Las Vegas?

Listen, everything that's famous
about Las Vegas is about leaving it.

That movie, the song, even
the mob left Las Vegas.

What happened to Reynolds?

Just... get in there.

Would you just shut up?

All right, look,

this could get me fired.

At 10:00 this morning,

I closed a deal to purchase
a 50,000-square-foot space,

right across the street from the Royalton.

If you play your cards right,

don't get distracted,

you'll be coming home with the sweetest
gig you ever had in your life.

- The Midtown Club.
- Finally gonna do it, my friend.

Guess who will still be eating sushi?

Charlie Peters!

We have conference rooms, you know.

He just needed a hug, sir.

It's the holidays.

They're just so hard.

Excuse me.

Uh, Alex?

I'm afraid I'm gonna need you in Vegas.

Vegas? Did you say, 'Vegas'?

That's my favourite city in the world.

Alex, it's a family business.

Everybody in town's
tried to steal this guy.

- You're wasting your time.
- That's why I want him.

Great week, guys. Thanks for the hustle.

Here, your keys.

Your furniture's in. I got you groceries.

Are you sure you wouldn't be
happier at one of the hotels?

No. No. No No.
Too many distractions.

Aah! Hot, hot, hot!

It's January, for Christ's sake!

Ay, vamos!

Chuy, I'm not ready for marriage.

And I love you,
but I don't love you like that.

So I, I really think
we should see other people.

What do you think?

Lose the part about seeing other people.

Yeah. I think you're right.

Yes, I'm sure!

My great grandmother
said I should wait for a sign.

Remember that necklace that he
got me for Christmas? It broke.

Listen, I gotta pee. I'll tell you
everything when I get home, all right?

Lanie, I haven't stopped since Nogales.
I gotta go. Bye.

Excuse me. I was here.

I think I would have noticed that.

No, you see,

I was on the phone, and the line moved.

But I couldn't move with it

because the cord wouldn't
stretch that far.

I'd like to believe you,

but your nose is actually growing.

Come on. I thought that was pretty good.

Please.

You realize that I could die for this.

I pee really fast.

I live with five brothers,
three cousins and only one bathroom.

Believe me,
I can pee faster than anybody in the world.

Really? A gold medallist.

This I have to see.

Thank you.

Oyeme, no porque tengas
tetas meas primero.

Oyeme, pelado!

Como dices una cosa asi enfrente
de nuestro sacerdote? Baboso!

I was just about to say that.

I just told him to stop being a
pig in front of our new priest.

That's Father Alex to you.

I'm Isabel.

So all that on the phone,
that waiting for a sign stuff?

Is that a religious thing
or a cultural thing?

Do you always listen to
other people's conversations?

Would you like to go back
to the end of the line?

Why do you wanna know?

It just sounded a little deep for...

It just sounded a little deep for a
Friday night. I was just curious.

Religion is a very important
part of our culture,

at least in my family.

I believe that your destiny
has already been decided.

You just have to read the signs.

Mm-hmm.

- You don't believe that?
- No.

No. I think if a guy gets hit by a
bus, it's because he wasn't looking,

not because of some master plan.

So you don't think it was fate

you were standing in this line
when I got off the phone?

- Fate?
- No.

No. I think it was more
of a bladder thing.

Oh. That's too bad.

Because, you see,

I happen to think there's
an explanation...

beyond reason, beyond...

all logic...

that brought you...

right to this very spot...

at the exact same time...

that I showed up...

at this very spot.

You do?

Absolutely.

And why would fate go to all that trouble?

So that I wouldn't have to wait in line.

Thanks.

Midnight sun

Two to move

All we've got to do #

Okay. Uh-huh.

Uh-huh. Thank you.

All right. Bye-bye.

Ha! We got the meeting with Tracy Verna.

It is set. 5:30, at your place.

Alcoholic Beverage Commission?

You have any idea the
power this woman abuses?

Who you talkin' to? Of course
I know how important she is.

She sounded blonde.

Audibly blonde.

Jeff,

she's married to the county supervisor.

Do not hit on this woman.

I'll pick up some wine.

Do not hit on this woman.

I'll make it expensive.

He's gonna hit on the woman.

Whoa, whoa. Ha, ha. Incoming.

Bring it over here.

Okay, Jeff, it's a long story.

Alex?

- Hi.
- Hi.

I'm looking for Alex.

Well, you know, he just ducked out.

Shoot.

I thought I might catch him.

We've been trading calls for months now,

but, uh, he's always so busy.

Come on in. You want to leave him a note?

There's a pad on his desk.

No, no.

- That's okay.
- Sure?

Mm-hmm.

I'm Catherine Stewart.

Our families are very old friends.

- Alex, they need you on-site.
- He went to the store.

His car's outside.

He took a bulldozer, okay, Donna?

Okay.

He's always in three places
at once, isn't he?

Well, that is our Alex.

Bye.

Bye-bye.

You've been avoiding that?

Since third grade.

Nobody ever plans to end up in Vegas.
They just do.

Kind of sneaks up on you.

But it is the fastest-growing
city in the U.S.

The economy is booming.
Business is growing.

I'm up to my neck in paperwork.

But, frankly,

it's just not a whole lot of fun.

Are you a whole lot of fun, Alex?

Jeff said we might have
problems with our...

liquor license because of new zoning?

Mmm.

I'll talk to the county
supervisor for you.

But if I were you,

Alex, I'd pay more attention
to the A.B.C. investigation.

They're gonna ask you all
kinds of personal questions.

They'd like nothing better than to
catch you with your pants down.

Well, then, they should definitely
be looking into Jeff...

because he actually heads up our...

'pants-down' department.

Jeff, hon, would you get us some ice?

And while you're at it,
put some Scotch in it.

One Scotch coming up.

Uh, Jeff, I'm afraid I'm out of Scotch.

So why don't we just go out to dinner?

Hey, quid pro quo, pal.

You give it to her, she gives it to us.

I'll take my time.

I can't do this.
I can't do this. I can't...

- Hello.
- Oh.

Um, I, I thought...

I must have the wrong house.

No, no, no. Wait, wait, wait.

If you're looking for Alex,
he's just inside.

He is?

Uh-huh.

Uh, excuse me. Alex?

You have a visitor.

I do?

Oh, yeah.

Would you excuse me?

Well,

don't be long.

Oh.

Isabel!

You remembered.

How could I forget?

I've been looking all over for you.

I would have called you, but...

you disappeared on me.

Well, I didn't know what to do.

I never did anything like that before,

going home with someone I don't know.

Hey, you and me, both.

You know, I mean, it was just one of those

great,

phenomenal,

spontaneous...

things.

Yes, it was.

Ah,

so, how... How long has it been?

Three months.

Um, do you mind if I have some of these?

My stomach, it's not so good.

Oh, no, yeah. Go ahead. Help yourself.

You want something to drink? I've got...

water.

- Yeah, water's fine.
- Okay.

You've done a lot with this place.

Yeah, I've been kind of busy.

Oh, wow, you...

You look great.

Thank you.

So, uh, how you been?

Pregnant.

Really?

Pregnant.

Well, that's great. Terrific.

Congratulations.

Thank you. It's yours.

Mine?

We were only together one night.

That's all it took.

And I, I used a condom.

Lots of 'em.

One didn't work.

But that's its job.

Its job is to work. Its
entire reason for being...

is to work.

Look,

I thought about this a lot.

And...

there's really only one
thing for me to do here.

Oh, dear God!

I mean,

I understand.

And I respect your decision.

You do?

Yes. I have always believed
in a woman's right to choose.

That's good,

because I choose to keep this baby.

Oh.

And I don't want your money. I just...

thought the honourable
thing to do would be...

to come here and tell
you in person...

that I am pregnant,

that I'm keeping this baby...

and that it's yours.

Well, yeah, I'm glad you...

Alex?

I'm feeling awfully neglected out there.

I think it's time we went
to dinner, don't you?

Tracy, could you just
give me a minute, please?

Sorry. I came at a bad time.

I'll go get my purse.

I'll let myself out.

Tracy, what are you up for?

I know the perfect place.
It's just a little bit wild.

If you recommend it,
I'm sure it's gonna be great.

Uh, listen. I'll catch up with you guys.

I've got a bit of a...

family emergency.

Alex, what are you doing?
What are you doing?

Alex?

Alex?

Alex, don't! Alex!

Alex is going to meet us there.

Shit! Sorry! Shit.

Oh, my God.

Isabel!

Don't jump.

What are you doing here?

Just stay off the ledge there.

I'm not gonna kill myself, stupid.

But if you come any closer,
I'll throw your ass over!

Hey, wait a minute.

You walked out on me at
5:00 in the morning.

I never heard from you.

Then months later you show
up and say you're pregnant,

and I'm supposed to know
exactly what to do?

Well, I'm sorry, but I don't...

know exactly what to do.

That's the best thing
you've said all night.

Wow. This is incredible.

I love it here.

You know, my great grandfather
helped build this.

He came up from Aguascalientes
in the '30s.

Really?

Where?

Central Mexico.

My great grandmother still lives there...

in a 400-year-old hacienda.

Every time I drive back from there
I make a wish at the state line.

Right in the middle of the dam.

Does it ever work?

Depends on the wish.

My father's gonna kill me.

He doesn't know?

No.

Nobody does,

except Lanie, my room mate.

He can be a very passionate man
when it comes to his only daughter.

Isabel, what can I do?

I'll deal with it.

No. Really. I wanna help.

Maybe one thing.

Come meet them.

Your family?

I just want them to know who you are.

So that later when they
ask me who the father is,

I can say,

'You met him, remember?'

I brought him home once.'

Hey, no problem.
You just say when and we'll go.

When.

So you have dinner
with your family once a week?

It's like a tradition.

Why? Don't you?

No.

Holidays and stuff.

That's it?

You don't know my parents. That's a lot.

So how are we gonna do this?

Just act like we've been
dating for a few months.

Whatever you do,

don't tell them I picked you
up outside a bathroom, okay?

I thought I picked you up.

Okay.

So we've been dating
for a couple of months.

Who are you?

Oh, well, let's see.

I am a camera girl at Caesar's.

You know, 'Would you like a souvenir?'

That's how I pay the bills,
but in real life, I'm a photographer.

I'm doing this book about the desert.

I have five brothers.
The oldest one is Antonio,

then Carlos, Juan,

Miguel,

Fernando, and I am the baby.

But anybody messes with me,
I can take care of myself.

Tio Roberto is my favourite uncle.

He's married to Tia Rosa
who makes all the tamales.

She loves compliments,
but you have to talk to her on her left,

because she is stone-deaf
on her right ear.

What else? Oh, yeah.

Never say 'Jesus Christ'
in front of my mother.

And my sister-in-law Petra

and my brother Antonio have
a baby named after me.

Any questions?

Yes.

What's your last name?

Fuentes.

Isabel Fuentes. And you're Alex?

Whitman.

Right. Alex Whitman.

Isabel Fuentes.

It's nice to meet you.

Isa, hi!

I was just gonna go out and get some ice.
Everyone's around back.

Who's this?

New boyfriend?

Juan, this is Alex.
Alex, this is my nosy brother Juan.

Nice to meet you.

Does Dad know about him?

Nope.

And I wasn't gonna come tonight.

Good luck!

So your father? Is he a big man?

Come on. Let's get this over with.

Hi!

This is a family dinner?

I guess a lot of people couldn't make it.

Tough room.

What is the matter with everybody?

Can't I bring a guy to dinner?

Hello, Isa.

Hi, Chuy.

Como estas?

Fine.

I-It's been a long time since
you came to one of these.

I was afraid we'd never be friends again.

That's where we started, isn't it?

Alex, this is Chuy.

He's a very good friend of the family.

We grew up together.

Chuy, hi. Luke Skywalker. How are ya?

Sorry,

you probably get that a lot.

Este Es El novio tuyo, Isa?

Yes, Chuy.

He is my boyfriend.

Do you have a problem with that?

It's a pleasure to meet you, Alex.

You're a very lucky man.

There's nobody like Isa.

Nobody.

So what happened to the music?

- Toquen algo.
- Vamos, vamos, musica. Musica.

Seems like a nice enough guy.

He's gonna kill me, isn't he?

He's not the one you should worry about.

Come on.

- Mama!
- Mi hija!

My beautiful baby.

Who is this?

Um...

Mama, Papa, this is Alex...

Whitman.

Mr. Fuentes, Mrs. Fuentes,
it's a pleasure to finally meet you.

Isabel talks about you all the time.

Well, that's funny. She's
never said a word about you.

Tomas, behave yourself.

I can't keep up with her any more.

One minute she's engaged, the next
she brings home a man with a tie.

I was not engaged!

I was not engaged.

Well, actually sir, that's one of my
favourite things about your daughter.

She's always full of surprises.

Come on, Alex.
I think we'll be safer in the other room.

- Let me take your jacket.
- Oh.

You'll have to excuse my husband.

Sometimes I think he wishes
Isabel was still six years old.

When you become a father,
you'll know what that means.

- These pictures are really incredible.
- Yes.

They're Isabel's.

Haven't you ever seen her work?

Yes. Yes. Yes, I have.

It's just that, uh, when
I see her pictures,

it's like I'm looking at them
for the first time.

Now, that must be the house in Mexico.

Yes, Aguascalientes.

And that... is Isabel's great grandmother.

They have a very special connection.

You can see it in the eyes, that same...

wild spirit.

I can handle my own love life, Papa.

- Since when?
- I think that runs in the family.

Ah!

This is terrific!

The taste is truly amazing!

You can't get tamales
like this in New York City!

No way!

Ah!

Eh?

This one's Rosa.

Ahi tienes.

She's beautiful.

Gracias.

Would you mind holding her for a second,

while I fix myself a plate?

Oh, no, I don't think I should.
I'm not really qual...

- I can't.
- You can. -Okay.

Hold her head. Hold her head.

Why? Does it come off?

You'll do fine.

Petra, can I get you something to eat?

How can so much stuff come
out of something so small?

Thank you for doing this.

Are you kidding? They are great.

I had no idea that families actually...

talked at dinner.

I'm glad they got to meet you.

They're gonna hate me, aren't they?

No.

I won't let them.

Isabel, I...

- Don't.
- Just...

You'll just make it worse.

At least let me give you
a number so you can reach me.

No.

It's better this way, you know.

No complications.

Please, just don't.

So...

take care of yourself.

Yeah. I will.

Hey.

You too.

What are you doing?

Get out of the way!

Alex, don't do this.

There's nothing to say.

Just wait a minute. There might be.

This afternoon,

I couldn't decide between a
Texas burger and a tuna melt.

But my life made sense,

you know?

And now I know exactly what I want.

And my life doesn't make any sense.

I was doing fine this afternoon.
I was doing great.

That was me. It was me then.

And now I'm with you,

and I don't know what happened.

But somewhere between the tuna
melt and your aunt's tamales...

I mean, I was actually worried

that I'd already met the
woman of my dreams...

at the dry cleaners
and I was too busy to notice.

But then you show up

and I realize that's not true.

Because you're the one.

You are everything I never knew

I always wanted.

I'm not even sure what that means exactly.

But I think it has something to
do with the rest of my life.

And I think we should get married...

right now.

Oh, well, well, well.

Look who finally decided to
grace us with his presence.

Sorry, Jeff. Could not be helped.

Oh, no, no, no.
You're not gettin' off this easy.

So?

So who is she?

I open the door,

and the next thing you're off
on a date with Jessica Rabbit.

Her name is Isabel, and
it wasn't exactly...

a date.

Okay. That's informative.

Let me ask you a question.

What the hell is dating anyway...

except some drawn-out process
of elimination...

where you both try to
present your best side

while hiding the real you?

That can only last about
three months anyway,

because eventually it leaks out.

Then you have to spend
the next three months,

getting to know your real selves.

Then one of you wants a commitment,
the other wants to bail.

Then you have to start all over again.

I mean, dating...

dating...

dating is stupid.

Okay, who are you, and what have
you done with my best friend?

You and Karen dated what?

Five years before you got married?

- Look what happened with you guys.
- You're using the 'M' word?

Hey, Alex!

There's a woman on line one.
She says she's your wife.

The only wife around here is my 'ex.'
And I am not in.

Ask her if I can call her back.
And get her phone number.

Okay.

You married her?

The one with the body?

You're married?

Alex!

Alex, does my life mean nothing to you?

Jeff, it's gonna be okay.

No, no, no. It is not gonna be okay.

Who says it's gonna be okay?

You gamble either way.

You are just pissed that
I won on the first pull...

instead of putting quarters
into the wrong machine

for the last five years.

Those were silver dollars, my friend.

That slot machine now owns my house.

Hey, Alex!

She says it's urgent.

Okay. It's urgent.

The nightmare begins.
I can't believe you did this.

What were you thinking?

This is completely out
of character for you.

This makes no sense.

Why would you marry her...

unless you knocked her up?

You knocked her up?

Yes, but that had nothing to do with it.

Look, I don't want to burst your bubble...

I mean, this being your
honeymoon and all...

but do you even know
if this baby is yours?

Have you asked for a blood test?

I can't do that! She's my wife!

And... it's not like that.
You don't know her.

Neither do you!

Hey!

Fool!

Delincuente!

I welcome you in my home.

And this is how you repay me?

Stealing my only daughter!

Getting married in that joke of a chapel!

Without a priest!

Without her family!

Without my consent!

You are not a man.

You are a thief. That's what you are.

Jesus.

In-laws.

He disowns me? Fine.

I disown him twice.

We disown him. Me and the baby.
Let's see how he likes that.

Isabel, he's your father.

You had Elvis walk you down the aisle.

Can you blame the poor guy?

How'd your mom take it?

Oh, I'm a sinner. She went straight to
church.

That bad, huh?

I think she's lighting
every candle in the city.

Hello, my wife.

Hello, my husband.

Interesting house, Alex.

Did you decorate it yourself?

Yes, Lanie, I realize
it is a little... dull.

You got that cosy
institutional thing goin' on.

Not after I spice it up.

It's just for the next four months.

Then what?

You turn back into a frog?

No, then we open the club,
we go back to New York.

We what?

We go back to...

New York.

You mean you don't live here?

No, I live in Manhattan.

Oh, well, I live here.

And I like it here, and my family's here,

and my friends are here.
And my work is here.

You can't raise a baby in that city.

Isabel, people do it all the time.

Have you ever been there?

No.

Well, there you go.

And you've never been off the strip.

There's a lot more to Nevada than Vegas.

Like what? Like legal prostitution?

That is such a guy thing to say.

If it's any consolation to you,
when I first got here, I hated it.

I'll tell you something.

But Vegas, seriously, grows
on ya after a while.

Whoa, whoa, ladies. Let me explain.
Las Vegas is a sandbox.

A sandbox for adults with too much money.

New York is New York.

You got culture, museums.
You got the Yankees, for Chrissake.

Why is it every guy from New York

thinks there's nothing west of the Hudson?

- How come every girl from Vegas...
- Shut up.

We're gonna let them talk.

Alex...

I've been saving to do this book
about the desert for five years.

I finally just finished paying
off my camera equipment.

My life is in Las Vegas.

And my work...

is in New York.

This is the kind of conversation that
usually happens on a second date.

Small, ugly thing biting me.

- Che! Che!
- Small, ugly thing biting me!

- Small, ugly thing!
- Stop it!

Stop it. Stop it, baby.

- Hi.
- Hi.

This is Che, my dog... I mean, our dog.

Welcome home.

I can't believe this is the same house.

I know. Isn't it great?

It's their wedding present.

Not everybody feels like my father.

They wanted to do
something special for us.

- Say thank you.
- Thank you.

It's very special.

Don't worry about it.

You don't like it.

No, no, I just never lived
in anything so bright and...

Jesus Christ!

Isn't it beautiful?

It's an antique.

It's been in my family for centuries.
It will protect us.

Couldn't we just trade
Cujo in for a Doberman?

That isn't funny Alex.

You're hurting my baby's feelings.

Hey, what did your parents say
when you told them?

Oh, you know, I feel so stupid.

I forgot they went to
Europe for the summer.

It's April.

They like to get there early.

So you did all this in one day?

I should hire you to build the club.

- Well, I don't know that you can afford us.
- Ah.

You are so cute.

Here.

I'm gonna go get my camera and
take a picture of my family.

What are you lookin' at?

Alex!

Oh.

So this is where you go every day.

It opened last night.

I got a lot of complaints. I think
the fact that that there are no...

walls upset people.

Well, it's going to be
wonderful. I can tell.

I wanted you to be the first guest

at our best table.

I'm very honoured.

Oh, Alex, this is so romantic.

The candles...

and the wine... I mean, the milk.

Mmm, and pizza.

It's perfect.

Nope, perfect would be
if this was New York

and that was a Gray's Papaya hot dog.

What's a Gray Papaya?

Broadway and 72nd.
Four blocks from my apartment.

The best...

hot dog in the world.

Mmm.

And if we were in Mexico,

we would be eating...

Ah!

- Albondigas.
- Albondigas.

They're this sort of meatball soup.

My great grandmother is famous for them.

Oh, Alex, you have
to come with me one day.

You'd love it there.

There are no phones, no
electricity, no people.

No kidding?

You know...

there's a spot in the
middle of Central Park...

the Bethesda Fountain...

If you sit there long enough,

the entire city walks by.

Hmm.

And I know of this one canyon,

that if you sit there long enough,

nobody finds you and you die.

Really?

I could not believe it.

The whole night he kept
changing the subject.

New York this, New York that...

What do you expect?
His life is not your life.

I thought you were on my side.

He has a family to support.

He can do that here.
We can do it together.

Marriage is about finding a middle ground.

You have to learn to pick your battles.

I sure picked one this morning.

What did you do?

Nothing. I just had the guys
drop by to take him shooting.

Alex is alone with your brothers?

And Chuy.

I better light another candle.

Isabel said there's some pretty
interesting canyons up here.

One in particular where people go to die?

That's the other way, right?

What's this about you
taking Isabel to New York?

Oh yeah, that's just an idea.

There's nothing carved
in stone or anything.

She won't go!

I'd bet my life on it.

Aw, shucks, Juan.

Nobody here expects someone
to give up his life.

Do they, Chu... y?

What are you going to be?
Isabel Fuentes? Isabel Whitman?

Or are you gonna do a Hillary
and be Isabel Fuentes-Whitman?

That's Mrs. Alex Whitman to you.

Pardon me.

I'm sorry. Excuse me.

Excuse me a moment.

I didn't mean to eavesdrop,
but I couldn't help but overhear.

- Did you just say Alex Whitman?
- Uh-huh.

From New Canaan, Connecticut?

I think that's where he's from.

Late twenties, about six feet tall,

dark hair, talks a lot with his hands.

That's him.

I'm sorry.

I'm Cathy Stewart.

Our families are very old friends.

You're kidding? Oh, that's fantastic.

I really don't know any of his friends,

so I am so glad to meet you.

I'm Isabel, and this is Lanie.

Hi.

Do you know,

I've missed Alex the last
couple of trips out here.

He's always so busy.

How do you know him?

I'm his wife.

I beg your pardon?

Yeah, Alex and I,

we're married.

And...

they're gonna have a baby.

A baby?

Really?

Oh,

well, congratulations.

Wow!

Isn't this a surprise?

Cuidado, muchachos!

This is some backyard.

I can see why you guys like it up here.

It must have been fun growin' up.

You know,

all these rocks,

the open space,

the view,

the birds...

The snakes.

Cascabeles.

Do not move.

Okay, everybody,

we do this on three.

Ready?

- Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
- One!

- What are we doing on three?
- Two!

- What happens on three?
- Three!

I'm coming!

Lucy,

you got some 'splaining to do.

Oh, my God.

What did you do to him?

He fell into some cactus.

A lot of cactus. We gave him
the tequila for the pain.

I think the desert made
a big impression on him.

- I told you to make it special, idiot.
- Ow.

Not to kill him!
Se me salen de aqui todos!

Get out of here. Get the hell outta here.

You too. Come on.

Baby?

Honey?

Whatever you do,

don't turn over.

I'm gonna go get the tweezers.

I'm confused.

If babies can only see in black and white,

then how come that

Barney guy is purple?

Dinosaurs come later, tontito.

Wait, don't sit there.

I'm doing the floors next.

- Again?
- Mm-hmm.

Oh, wait a minute. I read about this.
This is the...

'nesting period', isn't it?

It must be because I can't seem
to get this place clean enough.

Come here.

Ah, ah, ah!

Oh, I'm sorry. Poor baby.

Yeah, I think there's one still in there.

Then we'll just have to
take these pants off...

so that I can take a closer look.

Whatever you say, doctor.

Oh, I forgot to tell you.

I ran into an old friend
of yours the other day.

Cathy... something.

Cathy Stewart?

- Uh-huh.
- Really?

When?

Last week, the same day as the cactus.

I think she's jealous.

- Oh, really?
- Mm-hmm.

I'll get it.

Coming! Ow.

Surprise!

Mom, Dad.

I wanted to call first. This was her idea.

I spoke to Cathy the other
day, and she said...

we had to get our little fannys out
here and see what you were up to.

She practically insisted.
What the hell is that?

- A squirrel?
- Alex!

- Who is it?
- I got it, hon...

Now that is what I call a housekeeper.

Honey,

did we come at a bad time?

No, no. She's just...

She's cleaning the oven,
and the fumes are...

Well, you're here.

You're really here.

Hi.

Hello.

Alex, aren't you going to introduce us?

Yes, uh,

yes, this is, uh,

uh...

- Isabel.
- Isab... Isabel, right.

Right.

Isabel.

It's very nice to meet you.

I'm Alex's mother, Mrs. Whitman,
and this is Mr. Whitman.

Oh, my God, you're his parents!

Oh...

Oh my god, look at me. I-I-I'm a mess.

W-Well, it's so great to finally meet you.

Please, come in. Come in.

Oh, hon...

Very friendly.

You must be exhausted.
Did you just get in?

Would you like something to drink?

Isabel, that is a great idea.

Why don't you get the drinks?
I love you,

- and I'll think of something.
- Okay.

Who wants a cold beer?

- Terrific.
- I'd love one.

Don't you dare tell them
anything until I come back.

She is wonderful.

Of course, there must be a lot
of good help around here.

I mean, just being so close to Mexico.

- My God, Alex, isn't this a company house?
- Such a warm people.

You would think that they could
afford a decent decorator.

Dad, Mom,

why don't you sit down?

What the hell is this?

Honey,

is there something wrong?

Yes, I have to tell...

Isabel where the bottle opener is.

So, how was Europe?

You came back soon.

Europe?

Alex said you were gone for the summer.

Oh, Alex,

you know better than that.

We hate Europe in the summer.
Too many tourists.

Europe in the summer?

You lied to me.

All this time.

No quiero que me digas una palabra.

Estoy harta de tus mentiras.

Es todo lo que me has dicho, mentiras.
Cobarde!

What does that mean?

That means you're a liar and a coward.
That's what it means.

It sounded so much prettier in Spanish.

Would you excuse me for a minute?

Sounds like somebody's about to get fired.

Isabel,

I was going to tell them.

When?

After the baby was born?

I didn't want to do it over the phone.

My father won't even speak to me.

But I went there. I told him the truth.

But you don't even have the
balls to pick up the phone...

and just let them know what's going on.

My family's not like yours, okay?

I never see them. I never talk to them.
I don't have dinners...

Excuses, excuses, excuses!
You should've told them.

I wanted to do it in person.

Okay? Why is that so hard
for you to understand?

Well, here's your big chance.

Mom,

Dad...

I have some interesting and exciting news.

I'd like you to meet Isabel Fuentes...

Whitman.

Oh, my God.

I let these people come, didn't I?

That doesn't mean I have to like it.

Mama, do something.

Why are you being so difficult?

Because as far as I'm concerned,

these people are not her in-laws

because she's not married.

And if she's not married,
she has no in-laws.

So, why am I celebrating the Cinco
de Mayo with complete strangers?

They're only strangers because
you won't talk to them.

Pues no Les voy a hablar.

Tomas,

either you act like the man I married,

or tonight, you sleep with the dogs.

I hope you have plenty of lotion on.

The desert sun kicks off
this water like a mirror.

Oh.

No, I think if we stay in the shade,

we'll be fine.

Suit yourselves.

Pity you didn't bring your suits.

Yes, oh, yes.
We didn't exactly plan for this.

Jesus Christ, is it hot?

Uh, senor,

I would like to tell you something.

I do not believe these kids have a clue...

what they are getting themselves into.

I couldn't agree with you more.

- Really?
- Absolutely.

Marriage is a serious commitment.

Well,

I happen to think that
it's terribly romantic.

Nan! Hon,

see, you're not helping.

I have to agree with her, Richard.

You men forget how foolish you
once were chasing after us.

This is different.

They are different.

They come from a different culture,
a different world.

It's hard enough to make a marriage work

without adding to it.

Listen to the man, Alex.

He has a point.

I think they're gonna start
spelling the big words soon.

Why can't you just be happy for us?

Because I'm afraid for you.

This whole thing never would have happened

if he hadn't gone after...

Now, now, now, wait just a second, Tomas.

It takes two to...

tango.

She is just as guilty as he is.

Now, let's just calm down, shall we?

They fell in love.

And love is a beautiful thing

Ask yourself this question, Isabelita:

Where will you live?

How will you raise your child?

We don't know yet.

You see?

Let's just start with the economics.

They will live in New York...

because that is where his job is.

And the religion will have to be Catholic.

Says who?

The mother is Catholic.

Whatever the mother is, the baby is.

And just what is the matter
with Presbyterian?

Presbyterian is not a religion.

I beg your pardon.

Thomas, Tomas, whatever...

This country was founded

by people who were escaping
religious persecution.

The Whitmans were one of them.

Sir, when the West was stolen from Mexico,

the Fuentes family made a vow...

that even though they took our land,

they'd never take our culture!

Culture? You call this 'culture'?

Guacamole and a ghetto blaster
in the middle of a desert?

Dad.

- Now you're offending Amalia's guacamole?
- Papa.

What's wrong with Amalia's guacamole?

In case you haven't noticed,

the white people are melting out here.

Isabel, it was 112 degrees.
I fried an egg on my head.

And he didn't mean 'white.'
He meant... He m...

He meant 'not tan.'

Don't go there.

Your father wasn't too helpful
with all that Catholic talk.

Alex,

the first time I realized I was pregnant,

I got stopped at a stop light
right in front of St. Viviana's.

You know what it was?

- It was a sign.
- Of what?

That the baby would be Catholic.

Then it's a good thing you weren't
stopped in front of an IHOP.

You think that's funny?

Look, Isabel, religion is
the opiate of the masses.

And country clubs are filled with racists.

Yes. Right. I agree.

But, do you really think
hanging a crucifix on a wall

is gonna protect you from anything?

As a matter of fact, I do.

I believe because I am a woman of faith.

The faith I have in that crucifix,

and the faith I have in us,

it all comes from the
same place inside of me.

Now,

you, on the other hand...

You're not even an active Presbyterian.

So,

why don't you want me to carry my faith

and my belief to our child?

It's a good way to be.
It's a good thing to do.

It's not the only way to be.
It's not the only thing to do.

Where are you going?

You're not my favourite person right now.

Yeah, well, you either.

Do you want my advice?

Get out now.

I'll even file it for you.

Ah, who said lawyers don't have hearts?

Hey! What did you expect?

You have a relationship built on heat.

It's like Vegas.

Why didn't they just build
this city on the fuckin' sun?

Maybe you're not the guy
to talk to about this.

No. I'm the perfect guy
'cause I know what you're trying to do.

You're tryin' to be the decent guy,

but I'm telling you, the longer you
put this off, the worse it'll be.

Put what off? I just said we had a fight.

You said a lot more than that, my friend.

Okay, Alex...

We're here to get a job done,

and in case you haven't noticed, we're
runnin' a little behind schedule.

Hey, can I help it if Cinco
de Mayo fell on a Tuesday?

Get your priorities straight before
the shit really hits the fan.

Why? What's up?

We had a little visit from OSHA.

Will you talk to the foreman?

We came this close to a red-tag shut down.

Oh, Jesus.

- All right, I will handle this, okay?
- Good.

Mrs. Gonzales, please.

Hi. Have a seat.

May I help you?

Isabel Fuentes, uh, Whitman.

Isabel.

Alex.

I thought you had to work.

I do, but I need to talk to you.

I need to talk to you too.

I feel really bad about the
way things have been going.

Oh, no, no. It was my fault.

Look, I haven't been
completely honest with you.

And I was thinking on the way over...

Hello, Isabel. How are we today?

We are fine.

Oh, you must be the father
I've heard so much about.

I'm Lisa Barnes. Alex Whitman.

You're just in time for the show.

You wanna watch?

Come over.

- Uh, is that gonna hurt her?
- Oh, no, it tickles.

Whoa. What is that?

That's your baby's heartbeat.

It's so fast.

It's normal.

Neat, huh?

Yeah.

Yeah.

There's the head.

There's a leg.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Is...

Is that his...

Actually I think that's an arm.

It's a little too early
to determine the baby's sex.

Okay,

let's take the first picture of your baby.

I'm sorry.

Me too.

Jeff, I could hear his little heartbeat.

You know? I mean, it was going
ba-doom-boom, doom, ba-doom.

That's great.
I spoke to New York yesterday.

Guess who is three weeks
ahead of schedule?

- Charlie Peters doesn't have a life, okay?
- I'm just sayin'.

Hey, where the hell is my crane?

Foreman says first thing tomorrow.

Hello!

Hey-hey.

Hey, Isabel.

Wow, what are you doin' here?

I've come to kidnap you.

Alex, this is really not a good day.

Oh, don't make me hurt you, gringo.

It's his birthday,
and I won't take 'no' for an answer.

Will you cover for me?

Please?

Have a good time.

- Thank you, Jeff.
- Thank you, Jeff.

- Bye-bye.
- Bye.

Bye-bye

Bye.

So, where we goin'?

It's a surprise. Big surprise.

The very first time I came here,

my father told me this story
about a family of squirrels...

- that lived on the plateau.
- Mm-hmm.

He said that one day the canyon split.

Half of the squirrels
ended up on the North Rim...

and the other half on the South Rim.

Over time, the two families
became different,

each one adjusting
to their own environment.

The ones to the north are dark,

bushy-tailed and have bigger ears.

The ones to the south are leaner,

meaner and much prettier.

And even though they look different

and they act different,

they are the exact same squirrel.

They just grew up on different sides.

And this canyon between them?

Will they ever be able to cross it?

Well...

I've been thinking
about making you a deal.

If we can stay here until the baby's born,

I'll move to New York.

Isabel, that's so great.
Well, I'm not saying I'll like it.

But I'll give it a try.

You got a deal.

Good. Then I can give you your present.

- You mean there's more.
- Uh-huh.

I called my new mother-in-law,

and I asked her to do me a little favour.

Okay.

This arrived today.

I can't believe you did this.

Who said you can't have the
best of both worlds, hmm?

This is the most wonderful
birthday I've ever had.

Okay, you think this is good?

Wait 'til you try these.

Let's see.

Mmm.

Oh.

Oh.

This is good.

Oh.

Oh.

You've got five men without hard hats.
No load statement.

The bathroom doors don't
meet handicapped standards.

And I told your foreman two
weeks ago to build that ramp.

I'm afraid I'm gonna
have to shut you down.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Would you excuse us...

for a minute?

Stanley, Stanley, Stanley, walk with me.

Are you gonna put 25 guys out of work?

I mean it, Alex. You got one week.

Anything goes wrong out here,
I mean anything, it's your ass.

Stanley, I swear to God,
if anything else goes wrong,

I will red-tag this place myself.

Now,
let's forget about this and go to lunch.

What happened?

Jimmy, get over here!

We could take my car.

It was a sign.

Of course, it was.

God was telling him to quit that
job and stay here with you.

No, Mama. It was a real sign
with neon and all that stuff.

Oh.

Then it was a miracle nobody got hurt.

Yeah.

And your husband, when does he come home?

Tonight.

He doesn't sound very good.

Oh, wait.

Which candle am I lighting?

To keep the job or lose the job?

To keep.

I probably should have sent you to Tokyo.

Judd,

I can open Vegas in three weeks.

You know, if you could pull that off,

I just might be forced
to give you the Midtown Club.

You'd still give it to me?

You're the best field man I've got.

We break ground July 1.

Jeff said it wasn't starting
until October.

Do you want me to give
it to somebody else?

No. No.

It's just that the baby's due in October.

- And I promised...
- Is there a problem?

No.

There's no problem.

Alex, look what Petra and Antonio got us.
Isn't it cute?

We have clubs in New York.
We have clubs in Dallas.

We have clubs in Hawaii.
We have clubs everywhere.

So, with your help and with
your help and with your help,

I think this can be the most
successful club we've ever had, so...

Honey,

let him get the club opened.

He's changed, Lanie.

I can't reach him.

Something happened in New York.

Isabel.

The guy's got a lot on his mind.

It's more than that.

I think he's in trouble,
but he won't talk to me.

What? You think he wants out?

I don't know.

Watch this one.

- Hi.
- Hey. Hi.

Hey.

Hi. I've been worried about you.

Yeah, me too.
Listen, you guys, I'm gettin' a drink.

You shouldn't worry about anything.
It's your big night.

Isabel, I think now that the club's open,
we should probably talk...

I am so proud of you, Alex.
This looks fantastic.

Hey, why aren't you more excited?

Ah, well, it's just been a little hectic.

You know, it's been a lot goin' on and...

You look great.

No. I look fat.

Oh!

Feel this.

Whoa.

The baby likes the music.

Alex.

- Hi.
- Oh, hi.

Hi.

There's a teeny little
problem in the kitchen.

Oh. Okay. I'll see you?

- Yeah.
- See you.

So, you and Jeff seem to be
getting along really well.

I hate talking to men who
are prettier than I am.

It takes me days to recover.

Right.

You all right? Huh?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

This baby seems to be
mad at me about something.

All right, here. Come on. Sit down.

Let's go. Excuse me. I'll get Alex.

No, no, no. No, you won't.

Just wait a minute. It'll pass, okay?

- I'll get you some water, okay?
- Okay.

All right. Pardon me.

There you are.

Uh, Judd, this is my wife, Isabel.

Isabel, this is my boss, Judd Marshall.

Oh, hello.

Hello, nice to meet you. It's
a real pleasure, Isabel.

It's very nice to meet you too.

You're in for quite an adventure.

Oh,

it has been so far.

I knew that if I dangled
the Midtown Club...

in front of your husband,
he'd get back on track.

- Well, we don't need to talk...
- Excuse me?

Just think, by this time next week,

you'll both be New Yorkers.

I hope you're packed.

Great work, Alex, but I
gotta get out of here.

Nightclubs give me a headache.

I'll see you at the end of the week.

We can all have dinner?

Nice meeting you, Isabel.

I'll walk you out.

There was nothing I could do.
The job starts July 1.

Tell them to wait.

I can't do that.

- Can't or won't?
- I have worked too long, too hard to get...

To what?

To share your life with
someone who loves you?

Who cares for you?

Alex, you have to be there. Every day.

What do you think
I've been killing myself for?

Oh! Come on! You knew
about this for a month,

but you don't include me.

Why are you afraid of me?

Why do you alienate me from your life?

I don't...

I don't know.

Look, I told you in the beginning.

I have no problem raising
this child on my own.

I thought we were a family.

You don't understand the
concept of a family.

To you, it's something you put
up with on national holidays.

Love, it's a gift, Alex,

not an obligation.

What? This is the brass ring.

I've worked my entire life for
an opportunity like this.

And I am not giving it
up because one night

I put a five-dollar ring on your finger...

in front of Elvis as a witness!

Hey, Cujo.

Come here.

Isabel?

Isabel?

Hello.

Lanie.

What happened?

- Maternity?
- Second floor.

Hi.

- Are you all right?
- I'm all right.

Is-Is the baby okay?

There is no baby.

What?

Look, Alex, I've been thinking.

If I hadn't been pregnant, I wouldn't
have gone to your house that night,

and we wouldn't have gotten married.

The baby was the reason
for us to be together.

That's not true.

I thought it was fate.

It was just a stupid,
superstitious dream, you know?

There are no signs, Alex.

And we're too different,
and we will always be.

So, what are you saying?

I'm saying we're not meant to be together.

- No. Don't do this. Not now.
- Alex, this is not gonna work.

Isabel, let me help you.

Get out, Alex.

Get out!

Get out!

Don't be a putz.

These are right behind the dugout.

I can't believe you are turning
down box seats to a Yankee game.

I got a lot of work to do.

Alex, you are killing me.

These girls come two to a bag.

I'm telling you, you cannot
date one without the other.

I am not up for it. Okay, Jeff?

Well, get up for it. Okay, Alex?

This monk thing is getting a little old.

Alex Whitman?

That's me.

Then this is for you. Sign here.

What is this?

Divorce papers.

You have six days to contest.

Have a nice day.

Oh, you too.

Well, there you go. Life sucks.

Welcome to the club.

Now, about Friday...

Come with us.

Nanita.

Isa.

Whitman.

Alex, hi, it's Cathy.

Did I catch you at a bad time?

Cathy Stewart,

your timing is impeccable.

I heard about what happened
with you and your wife,

and I just wanted to tell
you how very sorry I am.

Thanks.

Okay, so listen.

Your parents are coming
sailing with us this weekend.

Is there any chance
that you could join us?

Hello?

You know what?

You got yourself a date.

I told him I'd meet him there.

Angie, come on.

There are signs everywhere.

What did you say?

You look lost.

There are signs everywhere
to help you find your way.

I can get there in half an hour.

South Street heliport.

The last thing we need
is for everyone to get sick.

There you are.

Hi.

Hi.

Oh, hi, darling!

Oh, isn't this fun?

I can't remember the last time
we all got together like this.

How are you?

Hi, Diane.

Hi, Bruce.

Understand you've been doing great
things with that club of yours.

Well done.

Alex, wait 'til you see Bruce's new boat.

A weekend toy.

What do you say we get
this show on the road?

- Shall we?
- Let's go.

Alex.

- Are you all right?
- Yes.

Yes, I am.

I-I just have-have a thing
about helicopters.

Well, you just stick by me then.

Here, let me, uh, uh...

Thank you.

Isabel, Isabel, come back inside!

Tamazula?

Tamazula.

How do I get there?
1666 01:31:22,831 --> 01:31:23,1000 Tranvia.

Tamazula?

Tranvia.

Tamazula.

Tranvia.

What the hell's a 'tranvia'?

That bus over there.

- Buenos dias.
- Buenos dias.

Yo me llamo Alex Whitman.

Busco Isabel Fuentes.

Esta aqui?

I don't understand that.

You gotta be kidding.

Lanie, please.

I'm probably flying over her right now.

When did she call?

Couple of hours ago.

She was in Nogales,
which means she'll hit Nevada around 8:00.

Why? What are you gonna do?

Alex?

Alex?

- Yes!
- Oh! Hey!

What are you, nuts?

Hey, buddy, get off the road.

Alex Whitman, what the hell is...

Are you trying to get us both killed?

I'm not giving you a divorce.

Oh,

you're too late.

No, I still got 'til 12:00.

Alex,

it's over.

Get the hell off the road!

There was a priest!

He said there were signs everywhere!

- What priest?
- Right by the hot dogs.

Then add the chihuahua,

the Grand Canyon,

the little girl named Isabel.

I mean,

there are signs everywhere!

I don't believe in signs, Alex.
Not any more.

Yes, you do! Yes, you do!
And you were wrong.

The baby didn't bring us together.

It was something else.
It was something bigger.

I just didn't believe it until now.

Don't do this.

I love you.

I love you so much, it hurts.

What the hell is going on
with your stomach?

- Oh, Alex, just go home!
- You're still pregnant.

- You're still pregnant!
- I know!

How could you lie to me about that?
How could you do that to me?

I was afraid.

I tried to reach you,
but I couldn't and...

You lied to me, so I lied to you!

I know. I know.

But I was wrong, and I'm sorry.
But I'm here now.

And don't you know what this means?

- We're gonna have a baby!
- No.

I'm gonna have a baby.
You're gonna call 9-1-1. OK?

Why?

Because my water just broke.

But we're on a dam.

Excuse me. Excuse me.
The ambulance is on its way.

Should be here in 10 minutes.
Sir, is this your wife?

- Yes.
- No.

Ma'am, you think we could move
you to the main building over there?

She's not going anywhere. These
contractions are on top of each other.

You hear that, Isabel? These
contractions are on top of each other.

I'm not deaf. I'm in labour.

- Oh, my God! We're having a baby!
- I hate you.

I hate you. I hate you.

They always say that.

Isabel, you can do this.
You're the bravest person I've ever known.

Ay, Dios mio, que dolor. Que dolor.

What'd she say?

She says she loves me.
Can't live without me.

Okay, folks. I hope you
got a name picked up.

Because it looks like we're gonna
have this baby right here, right now.

- Let's give her some air.
- Okay, Isabel.

The baby's coming.
But don't worry, I'm here. I'm right here.

Go away, Alex. You're bad luck.

No, I'm not leaving.
I'm never leaving you again.

Get away from me!

Oh, baby, don't go, please.

- I'm so sorry for everything.
- Okay. Okay.

I need you so much.

I love you. I love you.

Oh, ow, oh, oh, ow.

You're breaking my hand.
She's breaking my hand.

The baby has crowned.
I need you to start pushing.

There's a blanket in the back of my car.
It's for the baby.

Isabel, just push. Push.

I'll get it.

Okay, okay, okay.

- Oh, please, say anything.
- Okay.

I-I rode a mule.

No wonder you stink.

And your great grandmother kissed me.

- You went to Aguascalientes?
- Yeah, yeah.

Here's the blanket.

The head is out.

Okay, breathe. This is it. This is it.

Push! Push! Breathe! Breathe!

Okay, Isabel,
one more big push should do it.

Okay.

It's a girl.

It's a beautiful girl. She's so beautiful.

Oh,

oh.

That was a little superstitious,
don't you think?

I don't wanna tempt fate.

Do you think she'll like
living in New York?

Probably not as much as she'll
like camping in the desert.

With a few Gray's Papaya hot dogs.

Oh, no.

What?

We're divorced.