Fûfu FûFû Nikki (2015) - full transcript
[Showgate]
[ "Till Death Do Us What" Production Committee ]
The first time I saw her, she was stuffing her face with a burger.
Yuko.
This is Kota.
Shimizu. How do you do?
Hi.
We met through a mutual friend,
and we started hanging out in a big group.
I was disappointed...
It's like he's musically lost.
Right.
You are noisy. shut up!
You don't get it.
You don't understand at all.
Kenji Ozawa (famous Japanese musician) said it all along.
He's not going to sell out and tow the industry line.
- He wants to be hated.
- He wants to be hated.
He said so.
- You read that?
- In "Music and People."
It's a true classic.
The images rise up as if in a movie.
It's simple, but the lyrics and worldview are distinctly his.
Today it's jazz, but next it could be classic or soul.
He makes it his own with talent and confidence.
I get goosebumps.
Exactly.
You get it.
So serious.
You all need to read.
As an aspiring writer,
I got a job as an editor.
In your first album, I felt the glam rock influence.
(T/N: singers with outrageous costumes)
David Bowie? Iggy Pop?
No.
We listen to them, but we're very different from them.
Sorry to disagree.
Not at all, I understand.
[ Must-read Masterpiece ]
Yuko loved books and worked at a bookstore.
[ Recommended New Titles! ]
There.
[ New Novelist Award: First-round selection ]
So you missed that round. So what?
Listen, Kota. Just keep writing.
You'll never become a writer if you don't.
Another drink.
You've had enough.
I'm not carrying you home.
We became good friends quickly.
Don't get all angry over a little advice.
You've got an attitude problem.
I know.
- Do you?
- Yes.
- Do you really?
I swear, all the men around me are losers!
All of them. Do you hear me?
She was easy to talk to.
Our relationship never once got sexual.
Eventually, our friends got married, had jobs,
and our big group started to be fewer.
Hold it right there. What's so funny?
Wipe off that smile. Wipe off!
Quit being a leech.
What? Still?
He leeched off his woman for a long time.
You've gone too far!
When she went back home to Fukushima,
I phoned her often.
Rejection is okay!
Write!
Don't worry anxiously! Write!
Keep writing!
I realized I felt empty,
when she wasn't around.
And then...
Guess what?
I may try an arranged marriage.
What?
After 17 years knowing her, and I was in my late thirties,
I made a decision.
I need to speak to you! I'm coming there.
Wait for me!
I boarded a red-eye bus (travels all night) for Fukushima.
To propose marriage...
I fear...
I've taken...
a roundabout route
A little...
You're late!
Oh, Kota.
Pei just fell asleep.
How about a beer?
- I'll get it.
- Oké.
Kota, we were just talking about
the car.
The car?
Big Sister's car, I left it out front.
Then there was a big crash, rammed from behind!
Totally wrecked!
When was that?
Right after you returned to Kawasaki.
It was just a coincidence.
That's not all, Eri.
Then her computer started streaming English nonsense,
even after I pulled the plug.
It was fine, then suddenly broke.
Coincidence.
No. I don't think so.
Her cell phone suddenly turned off.
Even after recharging... nothing.
It was a brand new phone.
Her car, computer...
and cell phone.
Maybe in the afterlife,
she needs a car, computer and cell phone.
I wouldn't put it past her.
Since that moment I got on that bus to go propose,
a year and nine months had passed.
Then last month, my wife died of rectal cancer.
She left a baby son, Pei.
She died...
I think.
[ Till Death Do Us What? ]
"The Wife or Death Diary"
"By Kota Shimizu"
Are you publishing your blog?
I was asked if I would consider it...
as a book! Don't you see?
- A book!
- I get it. I understand.
Through your last job? Connections?
- Twentieth on the battling sickness blog charts.
- Twentieth?
- Very borderline.
- Quiet! It's not just connections.
So you returned to Kawasaki to finish it,
leaving our son here.
Weren't you sad, Pei?
I also had stuff to do, like finding work,
re-signing our lease. But forget that!
Why are you sitting there?
You died, right? For sure.
For sure?
- Are you okay?
- No, I'm not!
Don't ghosts have more of a haze around them?
You're as clear as day!
It's not funny!
Oh, I get it! I know, I know, I know!
You're not a ghost.
You're a figment... of my imagination.
I'm speaking to a figment.
That means, if I calm myself, you'll vanish.
Vanish, vanish, vanish.
Not vanishing.
"Two quirky people got married, embarking on a wild ride"
"with parents, friends, and a newborn baby,"
"for a yearlong journey,"
"filled with more drama than a TV novella."
"It was a life-or-death documentary that left everyone gasping for air."
It'll never sell.
But it really happened! It really was a wild ride!
January 20, we moved to Kawasaki and began our life together.
No, get rid of some.
- The floor will collapse.
- No way!
I already got rid of a lot. These stay.
These can go.
No! Not Ramo Nakajima (novelist)! Off limits!
- Then Jun Miura (actor, writer).
- Even more off limits!
Please throw something away.
I can't believe a rocker like you has a Morning Musume (female idol group) DVD.
- Tsunku (singer, lyricist) rocks.
- Oh, not that too!
Whatever, just toss something out!
Then Go Nagai (manga artist and science fiction author).
No, no, no, no! Master Nagai stays!
Not Master Nagai. Are you crazy?
I already have Futaro Yamada (mystery, ninja author).
- One copy is enough.
- First edition?
I don't know!
- Stupid couple.
- Definitely.
March 3.
You're all set.
Congratulations!
- Thank you.
- Thanks, Sir.
- Congratulations!
- Good luck!
- Thanks.
- Thank you very much.
We legally became man and wife (both at age 37).
Yuko: Are parentheses necessary?
You're five weeks pregnant.
- Do you plan to have it?
- Yes.
This is the fetal sac.
April 15, we are suddenly pregnant.
(It was the first attempt, too.)
Forget the parentheses!
August 22, my wife doesn't feel well.
We blame the pregnancy.
You're laughing.
Fecal blood test came back positive.
It's quite big,
so we extracted some tissue during the endoscopy.
(inserting tube with a camera)
We'll know for sure after diagnosis.
Make an appointment in September.
- Okay.
- August 30,
tests revealed a tumor,
but still not seriously concerned.
We figured it would all pass.
Total denial.
We won't know the depth of the tumor,
until we examine the rectal wall,
to see if it has metastasized to other organs.
- More testing is needed...
- Read on.
[ I'm Fish ]
September 4, the tumor is malignant.
In other words, my wife has cancer.
[ My wife has rectal cancer. ]
Blogging without my blessing?
I needed to tell friends and family.
It was my duty as a husband.
But in a blog? Just call.
Everyone I know reads my blog.
- It's faster, too.
- Does speed matter?
September 9, a bigger hospital.
[ MRI ]
This way, please.
We're told it's stage 3 rectal cancer with lymph node metastasis.
Ms. Yuko Shimizu, age 38, blood type B.
Delivery by C-section.
Blood type B. Yuko Shimizu. Confirmed.
- Ready.
- Thank you.
Thank you.
September 28, my wife had a C-section,
and safely gave birth to a boy!
It's 28 weeks, 6 days, at 1.581 grams (3.5 lbs).
He's moved to a neonatal ICU.
We expected he would be small so he looked surprisingly big.
That's bad sentence structure.
Thankfully, Pei came to us prior to the start of chemo.
Great timing! Fortune smiled on us.
While Pei toughed it out in the incubator,
his mother would prepare to zap her tumor down to size
for a resection (tumor removal).
A new home, a civil marriage,
pregnancy, a birth, and a battle with cancer.
In just six months, our newlywed story
quickly morphed into one about family.
All that in just the first chapter.
I want to pull it together and give it some shape.
You're so self-absorbed.
They spent the night.
You're up early.
You, too.
Couldn't you sleep?
No.
Me, neither.
Eri...
I didn't have the chance earlier.
But if it weren't for you and Keizo and Gitei,
I never would have managed alone.
Truly...
Thanks, Eri! You're the best friend ever!
Hey! I'm talking here!
What?
Nothing.
Don't you see her?
See what?
Oh.
It still feels...
like Yuko is close by.
For me, too.
Only I can see you?
It seems so.
But if you're a figment I created,
am I just talking to myself?
Good question!
Am I going insane? Am I crazy?
Yes, you're insane, certifiably.
- Go away, go away, go away.
- Go away, go away—
- Shut up!
- Shut up!
- Stop copying me!
- Stop copying me!
"Funeral Sutra in Japan."
"Funeral Sutra in Japan."
"Funeral Sutra in Japan."
"Funeral Sutra in Japan."
"Funeral Sutra in Japan."
"Funeral Sutra in Japan."
"Funeral Sutra in Japan."
"Funeral Sutra in Japan."
"December 24, my wife had surgery."
"Despite opening her stomach,"
"my wife is okay so it seems a success."
But the surgery turned out a disaster.
This isn't the time.
"Funeral Sutra in Japan."
"Funeral Sutra in Japan."
"She said she wants beef stew when she gets out."
A desire to eat is a desire to live. She still has her appetite.
I never said this.
I was in too much pain to have an appetite.
Don't just make stuff up, you liar!
Please shut up.
You did say that.
Stop complaining.
Lower your voice.
Be quiet!
Thank you.
Thank you.
Please take this.
Thank you for today
I'll be in touch.
Bye, Kyoko.
Thank you.
Then...
Good bye.
Still not feeling it.
What?
After 49 days, still nothing.
Reality hasn't sunk in.
Was it the same for you?
Yes.
Yes. I couldn't cry after my wife died.
I haven't yet, either.
How many years for you now?
Ten years in November.
But she was very ill so I was prepared.
Do you still think of her?
Kind of.
Kaori always liked collecting little frog figures.
They're all over my home and shop.
I feel like she's watching over me every day.
Sorry, I couldn't make it.
But I've good news.
You may get published.
Really?
That's great!
Working there for fifteen years paid off!
It's not just nepotism (favoring family or friends).
You're twentieth on the blog chart.
Yes, it's borderline.
I said that.
Just send me the manuscript.
Understood. Give me five days.
No, one week.
Okay. Thanks.
Yes! Do you hear that? I did it!! Oh my gosh!
I'm getting published at last. A book! We did it!
Kota?
We're leaving, Son.
Oh, okay. Thanks.
I'll stay another night.
Call if you need anything.
I will. Thanks for coming all this way.
Take care.
See you.
Wait, Mom! Wait!
Could you look after Pei for a while in Hiroshima?
What? Sure, but...
You said raising your son was a job you had to do yourself.
It is. But just one week, that's all.
I beg you.
You'll probably leave him there.
It's just one week.
Is this the right thing?
Shouldn't you be doing something else?
I need a week to find another job.
But a book! In bookstores!
You're not cutting (deleting) this scene.
No way. This is a major memory.
"I felt something happening on April 6, but"
"I pretended to go about my business without prying."
Actually, I never had a choice.
Get the buttons right.
Leave the last one.
Now the sleeves.
A tuxedo? What's going on?
Just go with it.
But a tuxedo? I have to think...
It's going to be great.
Fine, fine. I understand.
Yes, you got it.
It's not what you think!
It's not like a surprise wedding or anything.
Nothing like that.
You just said it.
Idiot.
Nice going, Little Brother.
Hey!
Ta-da!
I wanted to be surprised!
I wanted you to be surprised!
Kota Shimizu, do you take Yuko Shimizu to be your wife?
To be true to her in good times and in bad,
in sickness and in health,
to love and honor her all the days of your life?
I do.
Yuko Shimizu, do you take Kota Shimizu to be your husband?
To be true to him in good times and in bad,
in sickness and in health,
to love and honor him all the days of your life?
I do.
Did you all hear that?
Yes!
I now pronounce you man and wife!
- You may kiss the bride!
- Hooray!
That's good!
Woo hoo!
- Kota! Kota!
- Kota!
Look, Dear.
What a pretty bride.
Charming.
Thank you very much.
But was it this embarrassing?
You were crying the whole time.
- Kota!
- Kota!
Congratulations! Congratulations!
Congratulations! Congratulations!
Congratulations!
Mom was crying, too.
Like the movie "Bride's Dying Wish."
Or the last scene in "Big Fish."
For 38 years,
those who knew you,
those who loved you,
they were all there.
- Congratulations!
- Thank you.
To the happy couple!
Ah~ Here!
Congratulations!
Cheers!
How about an impersonation?
Be my guest. Do it.
Like this. Like this.
What was that?
- Filefish!
- Idiot!
It's Filefish,
She has a thing for me.
Way to go, Buddy.
It Seems to get married.
Come on, cheers, everyone.
I drove a Nissan Sunny for fifteen years.
It's a durable car.
Then it was flattened from behind by a Jeep!
How did you survive that?
Putting it in a book will immortalize you.
A book, right?
Really?
I don't know.
What?
Is it a bad idea?
I didn't say that.
But it's a bit soon.
A blog's different.
But publishing it for profit doesn't seem right.
For profit?
Let's update the blog.
You ended it with Sister's passing. Write from there on.
It's not for profit, Eri.
You know how much Yuko liked actual books. She'd love it.
Mother even said if I wrote a book,
she'd add it to Yuko's bookshelf.
I understand, but so soon?
Blog, continue the blog.
Be quiet.
What if I wait a year?
Maybe. I don't know.
Everyone wants to know what's next.
Nothing comes next.
I see. You're all opposed to this.
We're just surprised, that's all.
You had a book in mind from the start,
with me as your subject.
That's what they're thinking.
They all know I'm a frustrated writer.
So you understand.
So? What now?
Book or no book?
I'm still thinking.
After all that cool talk about immortalizing me in your book,
a little opposition and are you ready to give up?
Is that the extent of your writing ambition?
I said I'm still thinking, not giving up.
The real question is...
are you prepared to do what it takes to write a great book?
I certainly am.
You waver on everything.
Not true.
When job offers came along,
you repeatedly hemmed and hawed until they vanished.
To think I spent my twenties and thirties jerked around (misled)
by a man like that!
What?
Jerked around? Did you say jerked around?
That's just rich (ironic)!
For 16 times, 16 times!
Don't forget that number.
What's that?
The times I had to fetch you from a bar after one of your benders (drinking spree).
That was in my twenties! Don't reach that far back.
You'd eat and drink without money to pay for it. Who does that?
Ancient history. Get off it (change the topic)!
No, it was two years ago.
- I had an excuse.
- When you got your driver's license,
I borrowed my dad's car because you just had to drive!
You wrecked it in one day, beyond repair.
Don't speak of that.
Take that!
(T/N: a verbal attack)
So you think you're the victim here, constantly jerked around (used) by me.
It's all my fault, isn't it? I see.
- I didn't go that far.
- No,
of course, the fault is all mine.
My 17 years of listening to you whine and moan,
"I don't have the talent. I'm finished,"
to you, that's no big deal!
No, that's...
I'm sorry. You helped me out a lot.
I was roused from sleep on a work night to read your latest story,
staying up till dawn to read it,
only to be told, "You're not the target audience,"
when I gave you a little constructive criticism.
Why should I have to endure that, after staying up all night with you?
Oh, but that doesn't count for you as being jerked around!
So pardon me for harping about mundane trivialities.
You're right.
Not once...
did you stop telling me to keep writing, keep on.
You never gave up.
Finally when...
I'm about to get published,
you're no longer around.
I get it.
I'm arguing with myself.
You're a figment of my creation.
You're dead.
I know that.
This garbage,
without you, it's meaningless!
Without you...
Does this mean you can't work overtime?
Yes, I'm sorry but I have a small child.
Oh, I see.
This business now has hard times.
I'm afraid these conditions would be too hard.
I understand.
Sorry about this.
Don't worry.
You got me a lot of work in the past. I owe you.
Not at all.
But what I've got won't interest you.
That's okay. I can't afford to be choosy.
A promotional article.
Can you do an interview?
Autobiography?
Or you could write a PR piece for this one?
The interview is in two days.
[ Leadership that Makes You Likable ]
Hey, Kota.
Will you be okay?
What?
- Are your parents still healthy?
- Yes.
Send the child to them,
or move back there.
Freelancing is tough.
It's hard to plan around it. You're really not that free.
If you're staying,
perhaps a different field would be best.
These...
Yes?
Let me do these.
Thanks, Man.
It's so true.
I must be prepared to do whatever it takes.
I'm a dad.
Have you got any other tasks?
People talk of leadership material.
Or being born with certain leadership qualities.
I don't agree.
Is your leadership all about effort?
It's about... action.
If you act, leadership follows.
I view leadership as tied to three major conditions.
Skill, technology, experience,
and interpersonal sensitivity.
In short, appreciation of others' pain, hardship,
their basic qualities and appeal.
Well,
I thought all signs were "go" to publish.
It was looking good.
But then?
I'm sorry.
I can't blame them.
Dropping from twentieth on the blog chart...
Sorry to raise your hopes.
Don't be. I understand.
It can't be helped.
It's fine, it's okay.
It's fine.
You have one message.
Kota, you haven't called in a week.
What's going on?
Just call back as soon as you hear this.
[ New Releases! ]
Let me borrow this.
Sure.
But I'm afraid it's tough getting a book published these days.
I see.
[ The Wife or Death Diary ]
Is this a pun?
Yes.
What's the hook?
Seems you wrote a daily story for your wife.
Or marriage bonds that spawned a miracle.
No.
No?
No.
No, right?
Playing messages.
What, you're not home?
How are you doing?
Listen, if things get tough, come have a drink anytime.
It's Eri.
I'm sorry about the other day.
I thought about it, and you're right.
Yuko loved books.
I understand your feelings for wanting to put it in a book.
I was selfishly thinking only about
having lost my best friend.
I didn't really consider what you're going through.
It's hardest for you.
It's your young brother-in-law.
Sorry about the other day.
I thought resuming your blog would
somehow keep us linked.
With my big sister gone,
I was worried we'd lose touch or something.
Anyway I'll call again.
Why aren't you here?
Kota, what's up with you?
We haven't heard a word from you.
Kota?
Hey, Kota.
Sorry.
Is it going to be impossible for you to raise Pei?
I'm coming home now.
I'm coming now.
December 6, Pei came home for the first time.
I keenly experienced what parenting is about.
Go to sleep.
I have a big meeting tomorrow.
Come on. Don't you want milk?
Are you all right?
Sorry to wake you, Mother.
Hey.
What is it, Pei?
Was it a bad dream?
Okay.
There, there.
Night, night
Gazing at Pei's face as he slept peacefully in her arms
planted a paternal realization in me.
But I couldn't rely on my mother-in-law forever.
I would need to raise Pei on my own.
Are you sure? You craved this assignment.
I know, but I can't afford to follow a singer on tour.
I'm sorry.
Tanaka!
You cover the Yosui tour.
Who, me? Seriously?
- May I?
- Yes.
Do it well. It's a feature article.
A feature, seriously?
Don't fail me.
But everyone at work has been
very supportive.
Oh!
Today, I got some help from Fukushima,
in the form of Keizo, Gitei and Eri.
Where's Pei?
- Something stinks.
- It does.
Sorry, Pei. Let me have a peek.
Don't tell me.
Diaper, diaper, diaper.
Did he?
Baby wipe, too. Get it quickly!
Oh my, he pooped. Poop, poop, lots of poop.
Stop repeating poop.
Huge load.
Awesome!
Pee, pee, now it's pee.
Stop saying pee and get me a towel.
Why are you filming?
Tissue's fine. Anything.
If I'd been alone in my exhausted state,
I might have tossed Pei flying with a giant swing.
What I learned is...
it's easy to get overwhelmed alone.
But with others around, you can manage, and enjoy life.
Pei-chan...
Hey.
Hey, hey, hey.
Do I smell?
What?
Do... I... smell?
The stoma is helping.
My wife had a stoma created.
It's an artificial anus.
Yes, she resisted the idea to the end.
After all, she's a woman.
It was a very painful decision for her.
- Eri!
- Thanks.
Well?
I brought it.
They had been feeding my wife intravenously,
depriving her of her greatest pleasure, eating.
The stoma fixed that.
I'll drop by often. Work is real slow.
Sorry to put you out. He can't cook a thing.
Here goes.
So good!
My wife said she'd experienced gastronomic Nirvana.
Is it painful?
It hurts?
At any rate, she was doing well,
and on the road to recovery.
It hurts, right?
In addition to lung metastasis, we found peritoneal dissemination.
It's when the cancer spreads like sown seeds.
The enlarged cancer cells have pierced the intestinal tract,
scattering into the abdominal cavity.
She says she wants beef stew for hormones when she gets out.
A desire to eat is a desire to live. She still had her appetite.
I can see light at the end of the tunnel.
Thanks to all for your encouragement.
At this rate, we'll be spending New Year's together as a family.
You must have felt it was over at this point.
Yes.
I could hear my heart breaking.
Is that you?
Why?
Why are you going to Hiroshima?
You've reappeared! Why have you reappeared?
I was on track for recovery!
Recovery.
My appearance or disappearance is up to you.
- Shall I vanish forever?
- No
Stay.
So...
are you leaving Pei with your parents?
Or are you returning to Hiroshima to live.
At last...
the moment of truth arrives.
Pardon?
Do you know why I'm here?
Why you see me?
You're a figment of...
Wrong.
I'm not dead.
It's you who died.
What?
When you came to propose to me...
that bus you took to Fukushima...
had an accident.
You died.
You were the one who died.
And you've been wandering...
the corporeal world ever since.
Sixth Sense?
You're a lying ghost!
Yes, but there's some truth, too.
You're approaching me in the afterlife.
So you see me again.
- Another lie.
- Yes.
Stop doing that!
You're the liar.
This is a treasure trove of lies.
"January 15, my wife came home."
Her treatment would consist of 3-week cycles,
with hospital visits each cycle for a 2-hour IV.
At home, she'd spend 2 weeks taking daily meds.
And one week off medicines before repeating the cycle.
Ah...
Pei! Mommy's home.
Were you sleeping?
Pei! Pei! Pei! Pei!
- He's gotten heavy.
- Yes.
It's cold. Let's go in.
Ah... Pei.
Pei's right here.
Write about this!
My homecoming and loving reunion with my son.
You wrote nothing about it!
In writing, the unspoken word outweighs the spoken.
Are you Kazuo Ishiguro (famous fiction author)?
I'm happy my wife is home.
But it means outings when I'm tired.
And being unable to watch porn whenever I please.
I sometimes find myself pining for that time alone.
What the heck is that?
Recently popular in our household is imitating Pei's laugh.
I haven't heard it yet myself, but my wife has.
How was it?
No way.
- Seriously, it was.
- No.
I'm serious. It was awesome!
It was fun, right, Pei?
Aha ha ha ha...
Okay, come on, come on. Show me.
Okay, Aha ha ha ha!
Pei, isn't this fun?
Laugh. Ha ha ha ha!
- Show your daddy.
- Encore.
Hey, hey, hey.
I'm not lying.
April 10, my wife's condition suddenly worsened.
You write all this stuff in detail.
I'm cold.
So cold!
How's that? Hold on.
I'll add more blankets.
I'll put one inside, okay? Any better?
It's still cold?
Cold!
- Okay. Okay.
- Cold!
There, there.
Hey, hey hey.
Where do you feel cold?
She's shivering uncontrollably.
Try to stay calm. Just stay calm.
Give her an antipyretic and monitor her. If the fever persists,
call me again.
It's hot.
Are you hot?
It's hot.
Hot?
I'll turn this off.
Hot!
This one, too.
I'll let in some fresh air.
It's still hot.
Is that okay?
- Hot!
- Okay.
Okay, okay. Let me.
- Hot!
- Open more?
Don't. Don't. Too hot.
By dawn, the shivering had stopped.
Then my wife said,
"When I pass on, I don't care if you have to lie."
"Just tell me I'm adorable and that you love me."
"Hold me like I'm someone truly, truly important."
Did I say that?
Of course.
I permit you to forget about me.
Find another woman.
You should experience
the thrill of romance.
Despicable, it's all lies.
[ When I pass on, I don't care if you have to lie. ]
[ Just tell me I'm adorable and that you love me. ]
Then why are you sobbing while reading it?
Chapter 4.
My wife complained of cold symptoms,
persistent nausea and high fever.
I took time off work so we could visit a university hospital.
After some tests, she was back in the hospital.
April 17, we received bad news.
My wife had a strong reaction to some new drugs.
She became listless and unaccepting of her situation.
I've had it with anticancer drugs.
If quitting means I could only live another month,
I think I'd rather spend it in an active body being with Pei.
Know what I mean?
It's better than not being able to enjoy time with him.
Maybe I'd prefer to quit those drugs.
Kota?
I'm afraid of dying.
I'm afraid...
of not being here anymore.
I'm afraid of not being able to speak to everyone
and to Pei.
I'm afraid...
of not being able to see him grow up.
It makes me sad.
I see.
I see?
Something a bit more encouraging would have been nice.
I wanted to give you
the best words possible.
At times like this,
do you say something forced?
Or do you go for power?
Hold hands?
Maybe one talks in subjective terms.
It may be cheating, but...
just being there when it's the worst,
I can't think
of a more important way
than for me...
to simply be there.
Then again... who knows?
There may be more life ahead,
and more I can do.
Get this. At Misawa Supermarket,
strawberries sell at 300 yen for two packs.
How can they survive on nothing, but special discount offers?
I can't imagine.
How they stay in business is a mystery to me.
- Is this good?
- Yes.
Right.
How about...
What about the Hidaka Store?
Oh, it's closing. There was a sign out front announcing it.
What a shame!
I loved their jumbo pot stickers.
What about Kuro?
Kuro-san!
- The black cat?
- This is tasty.
Have you ever noticed that
he acts all cute the moment, he thinks you'll feed him?
He's a survivor.
And growing fatter by the minute.
That shopkeeper,
he probably has Kuro so customers will order more.
What for, to feed Kuro?
- Exactly.
- No way.
Don't be so sure.
It's his strategy. That shopkeeper's no slouch.
Strategy, right?
Try to remember his face. Picture it.
- He's scheming.
- You're right. He is scheming.
You agree, right?
See? We thought the same way about him...
April 20, we planned to talk about what to do going forward.
Yuko?
I saw you hide that.
Oh, I missed you so much, Pei!
Your father keeps insisting that Pei has his eyebrows.
But he does! Look!
Yes, he does.
He has Dad's frowning eyebrows.
Do you think he has my ears?
Not at all.
Lower your voices.
That's quite all right.
Please enjoy your visit.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
I think...
If I'm going to die...
I'd prefer Fukushima.
Don't say that, Big Sis.
What about Pei?
If you go, he won't have a mother to raise him.
So hang in there.
She's not here just for Pei.
Sorry.
But did you know?
Drop it.
Toy Story 3 is coming out.
I hear it's great. It's the conclusion!
Can you die without seeing it?
We know, Gitei. But forget Toy Story.
I want to see it.
I want to see it very much!
Right?
Pei-chan.
[ South 5 Ward Nurse Station ]
My daughter,
she's my pride and joy.
You didn't write that.
I couldn't do it.
I'm going to Fukushima, too.
Do you mean you're quitting?
Yes.
"I tendered my resignation effective"
"upon training a successor."
No regrets.
[Chapter 5.]
May 8, my wife, Pei and I
moved to Fukushima.
Here we go.
Hold on just a second.
Go ahead.
Okay.
To infinity and beyond...
A classic burger and
french fries,
onion rings,
chicken nuggets,
and a cola,
please.
I'll come right back after training my successor.
Yes, I'll be waiting.
On May 13,
I received a call from Gitei late at night.
My wife had the chills, and couldn't stop shivering.
Only five days ago, she devoured a burger.
I wasn't at all prepared for this yet.
It can't be.
Don't cry reading your own book.
I get it, Kota.
You wrote all those lies to rescue yourself.
But you know what? Those lies...
rescued me, too.
Kota?
You're a writer.
You once said that
this book was meaningless if I didn't read it.
I want another person to read this.
When Pei grows up, show it to him.
Tell him his mom was like this.
Who cares if you can't publish?
Just write.
Keep on writing.
Talent doesn't matter.
Continuing to write...
is a talent.
In that case...
I leave the rest to you.
Answer it.
Kota? It's Mom.
Pei has a high fever!
He was rushed to the hospital in an ambulance!
Kota? Do you hear me?
Hey.
Hey, you!
Hang up.
The call is finished.
It's happening again!
Why?
Why is this happening? No!
Listen to me.
Make it in time.
Make it in time.
Well...
I'll... go on ahead.
You're late.
Sorry. Freeway traffic.
You're always late for important things.
How did you know this is important?
Because you said it was... on the phone.
Oh, right.
Order something.
Marry me.
Okay.
It all began from there.
Excuse me!
Excuse me! Can you let me off?
I have to go! Please!
Thank you.
I won't be late this time.
As I ran, I thought about...
the few written words my wife had left me.
Tomorrow, I become a mom.
This is the greatest thing in my life I am thankful for.
I'll be a mom. I had given up hope of becoming a mom.
Thank you, Husband! Thank you, World!
No exaggeration, it's this great!
Thank you, Kota.
I love you.
My wife had left a note.
[Let me just say, "It is good that I knew you (all)."]
They were her final words.
Let me just say, "It is good that I knew"
"you (all)."
Kota!
Where's Pei?
Doctor says not to worry.
The medicine seems to have worked.
His fever broke.
Pei was okay.
Hey.
Yes.
Way to go.
You're late.
Is that what you meant by going ahead?
Never disappearing?
As long as you don't forget me...
Then you're here forever.
You'll never disappear.
Well... I wonder about that.
No, I'm not calling about anything in particular.
Is everything okay?
Yes. Thank you.
No need for thanks.
Keizo-san?
Yes?
Is it okay if I stay with my wife for a while?
Yes.
Stay with her as long as you like,
until you're elderly.
I don't know. That's a long time.
Good morning.
Thanks to the Channel Manager: nalynn2020_178
Chief Segmenter: taigacj
Chief Editor: xialongne112
See you later, Pei.
Be good.
Thank you.
See you later.
I plan on getting
as far as I can as a writer.
So depending on the user's purpose,
the ideal tabi (socks for thong shoes) changes?
That's right. Take traditional dancers, for example.
Some wear such small tabi that their feet bend.
So we make the soles narrow, but snug on top.
I'll just keep writing.
How is one o'clock?
My wife may have died, but the story goes on.
I'll bring the galley proof next time.
Thank you.
The story isn't over.
And there's no sign that it will be.
[Chapter 5: Last Chapter (not)]
[Chapter 6]
[And then...]
Translation Editor: yunoilwoo
General Editor: worthyromance
Thank you to all our viewers.
Gosh, I want that!
♫ What spreads beyond the sky? ♫
♫ How can you see us? ♫
♫ I stretched out my hand ♫
♫ I scooped up the wind without reaching anywhere ♫
♫ If you laugh, the light is on ♫
.♫ I'm dancing holding someone's hand in my simple world ♫
♫ Where will it fall if I return that hand? ♫
♫ Maybe I can't believe I got to you ♫
♫ It's like a dream ♫
♫ I was just looking up ♫
♫ I was reaching out ♫
♫ No matter how high you jump ♫
♫ I knew I couldn't fly as high as a bird ♫
♫ Then I want to be free to swim in the ocean ♫
♫ Even with that in mind, I can't step forward ♫
♫ I look up again ♫
♫ In the endless sky ♫
♫ I remembered I was illuminated by you ♫
♫ And it fell here ♫
♫ I don't mind if I can't reach you ♫
♫ I'm looking at you like this ♫
♫ Maybe no matter what I get ♫
♫ I will still look up at the sky ♫
♫ Like the sky is changing ♫
♫ Like connecting my world ♫
♫ Like connecting ... ♫
[ "Till Death Do Us What" Production Committee ]
The first time I saw her, she was stuffing her face with a burger.
Yuko.
This is Kota.
Shimizu. How do you do?
Hi.
We met through a mutual friend,
and we started hanging out in a big group.
I was disappointed...
It's like he's musically lost.
Right.
You are noisy. shut up!
You don't get it.
You don't understand at all.
Kenji Ozawa (famous Japanese musician) said it all along.
He's not going to sell out and tow the industry line.
- He wants to be hated.
- He wants to be hated.
He said so.
- You read that?
- In "Music and People."
It's a true classic.
The images rise up as if in a movie.
It's simple, but the lyrics and worldview are distinctly his.
Today it's jazz, but next it could be classic or soul.
He makes it his own with talent and confidence.
I get goosebumps.
Exactly.
You get it.
So serious.
You all need to read.
As an aspiring writer,
I got a job as an editor.
In your first album, I felt the glam rock influence.
(T/N: singers with outrageous costumes)
David Bowie? Iggy Pop?
No.
We listen to them, but we're very different from them.
Sorry to disagree.
Not at all, I understand.
[ Must-read Masterpiece ]
Yuko loved books and worked at a bookstore.
[ Recommended New Titles! ]
There.
[ New Novelist Award: First-round selection ]
So you missed that round. So what?
Listen, Kota. Just keep writing.
You'll never become a writer if you don't.
Another drink.
You've had enough.
I'm not carrying you home.
We became good friends quickly.
Don't get all angry over a little advice.
You've got an attitude problem.
I know.
- Do you?
- Yes.
- Do you really?
I swear, all the men around me are losers!
All of them. Do you hear me?
She was easy to talk to.
Our relationship never once got sexual.
Eventually, our friends got married, had jobs,
and our big group started to be fewer.
Hold it right there. What's so funny?
Wipe off that smile. Wipe off!
Quit being a leech.
What? Still?
He leeched off his woman for a long time.
You've gone too far!
When she went back home to Fukushima,
I phoned her often.
Rejection is okay!
Write!
Don't worry anxiously! Write!
Keep writing!
I realized I felt empty,
when she wasn't around.
And then...
Guess what?
I may try an arranged marriage.
What?
After 17 years knowing her, and I was in my late thirties,
I made a decision.
I need to speak to you! I'm coming there.
Wait for me!
I boarded a red-eye bus (travels all night) for Fukushima.
To propose marriage...
I fear...
I've taken...
a roundabout route
A little...
You're late!
Oh, Kota.
Pei just fell asleep.
How about a beer?
- I'll get it.
- Oké.
Kota, we were just talking about
the car.
The car?
Big Sister's car, I left it out front.
Then there was a big crash, rammed from behind!
Totally wrecked!
When was that?
Right after you returned to Kawasaki.
It was just a coincidence.
That's not all, Eri.
Then her computer started streaming English nonsense,
even after I pulled the plug.
It was fine, then suddenly broke.
Coincidence.
No. I don't think so.
Her cell phone suddenly turned off.
Even after recharging... nothing.
It was a brand new phone.
Her car, computer...
and cell phone.
Maybe in the afterlife,
she needs a car, computer and cell phone.
I wouldn't put it past her.
Since that moment I got on that bus to go propose,
a year and nine months had passed.
Then last month, my wife died of rectal cancer.
She left a baby son, Pei.
She died...
I think.
[ Till Death Do Us What? ]
"The Wife or Death Diary"
"By Kota Shimizu"
Are you publishing your blog?
I was asked if I would consider it...
as a book! Don't you see?
- A book!
- I get it. I understand.
Through your last job? Connections?
- Twentieth on the battling sickness blog charts.
- Twentieth?
- Very borderline.
- Quiet! It's not just connections.
So you returned to Kawasaki to finish it,
leaving our son here.
Weren't you sad, Pei?
I also had stuff to do, like finding work,
re-signing our lease. But forget that!
Why are you sitting there?
You died, right? For sure.
For sure?
- Are you okay?
- No, I'm not!
Don't ghosts have more of a haze around them?
You're as clear as day!
It's not funny!
Oh, I get it! I know, I know, I know!
You're not a ghost.
You're a figment... of my imagination.
I'm speaking to a figment.
That means, if I calm myself, you'll vanish.
Vanish, vanish, vanish.
Not vanishing.
"Two quirky people got married, embarking on a wild ride"
"with parents, friends, and a newborn baby,"
"for a yearlong journey,"
"filled with more drama than a TV novella."
"It was a life-or-death documentary that left everyone gasping for air."
It'll never sell.
But it really happened! It really was a wild ride!
January 20, we moved to Kawasaki and began our life together.
No, get rid of some.
- The floor will collapse.
- No way!
I already got rid of a lot. These stay.
These can go.
No! Not Ramo Nakajima (novelist)! Off limits!
- Then Jun Miura (actor, writer).
- Even more off limits!
Please throw something away.
I can't believe a rocker like you has a Morning Musume (female idol group) DVD.
- Tsunku (singer, lyricist) rocks.
- Oh, not that too!
Whatever, just toss something out!
Then Go Nagai (manga artist and science fiction author).
No, no, no, no! Master Nagai stays!
Not Master Nagai. Are you crazy?
I already have Futaro Yamada (mystery, ninja author).
- One copy is enough.
- First edition?
I don't know!
- Stupid couple.
- Definitely.
March 3.
You're all set.
Congratulations!
- Thank you.
- Thanks, Sir.
- Congratulations!
- Good luck!
- Thanks.
- Thank you very much.
We legally became man and wife (both at age 37).
Yuko: Are parentheses necessary?
You're five weeks pregnant.
- Do you plan to have it?
- Yes.
This is the fetal sac.
April 15, we are suddenly pregnant.
(It was the first attempt, too.)
Forget the parentheses!
August 22, my wife doesn't feel well.
We blame the pregnancy.
You're laughing.
Fecal blood test came back positive.
It's quite big,
so we extracted some tissue during the endoscopy.
(inserting tube with a camera)
We'll know for sure after diagnosis.
Make an appointment in September.
- Okay.
- August 30,
tests revealed a tumor,
but still not seriously concerned.
We figured it would all pass.
Total denial.
We won't know the depth of the tumor,
until we examine the rectal wall,
to see if it has metastasized to other organs.
- More testing is needed...
- Read on.
[ I'm Fish ]
September 4, the tumor is malignant.
In other words, my wife has cancer.
[ My wife has rectal cancer. ]
Blogging without my blessing?
I needed to tell friends and family.
It was my duty as a husband.
But in a blog? Just call.
Everyone I know reads my blog.
- It's faster, too.
- Does speed matter?
September 9, a bigger hospital.
[ MRI ]
This way, please.
We're told it's stage 3 rectal cancer with lymph node metastasis.
Ms. Yuko Shimizu, age 38, blood type B.
Delivery by C-section.
Blood type B. Yuko Shimizu. Confirmed.
- Ready.
- Thank you.
Thank you.
September 28, my wife had a C-section,
and safely gave birth to a boy!
It's 28 weeks, 6 days, at 1.581 grams (3.5 lbs).
He's moved to a neonatal ICU.
We expected he would be small so he looked surprisingly big.
That's bad sentence structure.
Thankfully, Pei came to us prior to the start of chemo.
Great timing! Fortune smiled on us.
While Pei toughed it out in the incubator,
his mother would prepare to zap her tumor down to size
for a resection (tumor removal).
A new home, a civil marriage,
pregnancy, a birth, and a battle with cancer.
In just six months, our newlywed story
quickly morphed into one about family.
All that in just the first chapter.
I want to pull it together and give it some shape.
You're so self-absorbed.
They spent the night.
You're up early.
You, too.
Couldn't you sleep?
No.
Me, neither.
Eri...
I didn't have the chance earlier.
But if it weren't for you and Keizo and Gitei,
I never would have managed alone.
Truly...
Thanks, Eri! You're the best friend ever!
Hey! I'm talking here!
What?
Nothing.
Don't you see her?
See what?
Oh.
It still feels...
like Yuko is close by.
For me, too.
Only I can see you?
It seems so.
But if you're a figment I created,
am I just talking to myself?
Good question!
Am I going insane? Am I crazy?
Yes, you're insane, certifiably.
- Go away, go away, go away.
- Go away, go away—
- Shut up!
- Shut up!
- Stop copying me!
- Stop copying me!
"Funeral Sutra in Japan."
"Funeral Sutra in Japan."
"Funeral Sutra in Japan."
"Funeral Sutra in Japan."
"Funeral Sutra in Japan."
"Funeral Sutra in Japan."
"Funeral Sutra in Japan."
"Funeral Sutra in Japan."
"December 24, my wife had surgery."
"Despite opening her stomach,"
"my wife is okay so it seems a success."
But the surgery turned out a disaster.
This isn't the time.
"Funeral Sutra in Japan."
"Funeral Sutra in Japan."
"She said she wants beef stew when she gets out."
A desire to eat is a desire to live. She still has her appetite.
I never said this.
I was in too much pain to have an appetite.
Don't just make stuff up, you liar!
Please shut up.
You did say that.
Stop complaining.
Lower your voice.
Be quiet!
Thank you.
Thank you.
Please take this.
Thank you for today
I'll be in touch.
Bye, Kyoko.
Thank you.
Then...
Good bye.
Still not feeling it.
What?
After 49 days, still nothing.
Reality hasn't sunk in.
Was it the same for you?
Yes.
Yes. I couldn't cry after my wife died.
I haven't yet, either.
How many years for you now?
Ten years in November.
But she was very ill so I was prepared.
Do you still think of her?
Kind of.
Kaori always liked collecting little frog figures.
They're all over my home and shop.
I feel like she's watching over me every day.
Sorry, I couldn't make it.
But I've good news.
You may get published.
Really?
That's great!
Working there for fifteen years paid off!
It's not just nepotism (favoring family or friends).
You're twentieth on the blog chart.
Yes, it's borderline.
I said that.
Just send me the manuscript.
Understood. Give me five days.
No, one week.
Okay. Thanks.
Yes! Do you hear that? I did it!! Oh my gosh!
I'm getting published at last. A book! We did it!
Kota?
We're leaving, Son.
Oh, okay. Thanks.
I'll stay another night.
Call if you need anything.
I will. Thanks for coming all this way.
Take care.
See you.
Wait, Mom! Wait!
Could you look after Pei for a while in Hiroshima?
What? Sure, but...
You said raising your son was a job you had to do yourself.
It is. But just one week, that's all.
I beg you.
You'll probably leave him there.
It's just one week.
Is this the right thing?
Shouldn't you be doing something else?
I need a week to find another job.
But a book! In bookstores!
You're not cutting (deleting) this scene.
No way. This is a major memory.
"I felt something happening on April 6, but"
"I pretended to go about my business without prying."
Actually, I never had a choice.
Get the buttons right.
Leave the last one.
Now the sleeves.
A tuxedo? What's going on?
Just go with it.
But a tuxedo? I have to think...
It's going to be great.
Fine, fine. I understand.
Yes, you got it.
It's not what you think!
It's not like a surprise wedding or anything.
Nothing like that.
You just said it.
Idiot.
Nice going, Little Brother.
Hey!
Ta-da!
I wanted to be surprised!
I wanted you to be surprised!
Kota Shimizu, do you take Yuko Shimizu to be your wife?
To be true to her in good times and in bad,
in sickness and in health,
to love and honor her all the days of your life?
I do.
Yuko Shimizu, do you take Kota Shimizu to be your husband?
To be true to him in good times and in bad,
in sickness and in health,
to love and honor him all the days of your life?
I do.
Did you all hear that?
Yes!
I now pronounce you man and wife!
- You may kiss the bride!
- Hooray!
That's good!
Woo hoo!
- Kota! Kota!
- Kota!
Look, Dear.
What a pretty bride.
Charming.
Thank you very much.
But was it this embarrassing?
You were crying the whole time.
- Kota!
- Kota!
Congratulations! Congratulations!
Congratulations! Congratulations!
Congratulations!
Mom was crying, too.
Like the movie "Bride's Dying Wish."
Or the last scene in "Big Fish."
For 38 years,
those who knew you,
those who loved you,
they were all there.
- Congratulations!
- Thank you.
To the happy couple!
Ah~ Here!
Congratulations!
Cheers!
How about an impersonation?
Be my guest. Do it.
Like this. Like this.
What was that?
- Filefish!
- Idiot!
It's Filefish,
She has a thing for me.
Way to go, Buddy.
It Seems to get married.
Come on, cheers, everyone.
I drove a Nissan Sunny for fifteen years.
It's a durable car.
Then it was flattened from behind by a Jeep!
How did you survive that?
Putting it in a book will immortalize you.
A book, right?
Really?
I don't know.
What?
Is it a bad idea?
I didn't say that.
But it's a bit soon.
A blog's different.
But publishing it for profit doesn't seem right.
For profit?
Let's update the blog.
You ended it with Sister's passing. Write from there on.
It's not for profit, Eri.
You know how much Yuko liked actual books. She'd love it.
Mother even said if I wrote a book,
she'd add it to Yuko's bookshelf.
I understand, but so soon?
Blog, continue the blog.
Be quiet.
What if I wait a year?
Maybe. I don't know.
Everyone wants to know what's next.
Nothing comes next.
I see. You're all opposed to this.
We're just surprised, that's all.
You had a book in mind from the start,
with me as your subject.
That's what they're thinking.
They all know I'm a frustrated writer.
So you understand.
So? What now?
Book or no book?
I'm still thinking.
After all that cool talk about immortalizing me in your book,
a little opposition and are you ready to give up?
Is that the extent of your writing ambition?
I said I'm still thinking, not giving up.
The real question is...
are you prepared to do what it takes to write a great book?
I certainly am.
You waver on everything.
Not true.
When job offers came along,
you repeatedly hemmed and hawed until they vanished.
To think I spent my twenties and thirties jerked around (misled)
by a man like that!
What?
Jerked around? Did you say jerked around?
That's just rich (ironic)!
For 16 times, 16 times!
Don't forget that number.
What's that?
The times I had to fetch you from a bar after one of your benders (drinking spree).
That was in my twenties! Don't reach that far back.
You'd eat and drink without money to pay for it. Who does that?
Ancient history. Get off it (change the topic)!
No, it was two years ago.
- I had an excuse.
- When you got your driver's license,
I borrowed my dad's car because you just had to drive!
You wrecked it in one day, beyond repair.
Don't speak of that.
Take that!
(T/N: a verbal attack)
So you think you're the victim here, constantly jerked around (used) by me.
It's all my fault, isn't it? I see.
- I didn't go that far.
- No,
of course, the fault is all mine.
My 17 years of listening to you whine and moan,
"I don't have the talent. I'm finished,"
to you, that's no big deal!
No, that's...
I'm sorry. You helped me out a lot.
I was roused from sleep on a work night to read your latest story,
staying up till dawn to read it,
only to be told, "You're not the target audience,"
when I gave you a little constructive criticism.
Why should I have to endure that, after staying up all night with you?
Oh, but that doesn't count for you as being jerked around!
So pardon me for harping about mundane trivialities.
You're right.
Not once...
did you stop telling me to keep writing, keep on.
You never gave up.
Finally when...
I'm about to get published,
you're no longer around.
I get it.
I'm arguing with myself.
You're a figment of my creation.
You're dead.
I know that.
This garbage,
without you, it's meaningless!
Without you...
Does this mean you can't work overtime?
Yes, I'm sorry but I have a small child.
Oh, I see.
This business now has hard times.
I'm afraid these conditions would be too hard.
I understand.
Sorry about this.
Don't worry.
You got me a lot of work in the past. I owe you.
Not at all.
But what I've got won't interest you.
That's okay. I can't afford to be choosy.
A promotional article.
Can you do an interview?
Autobiography?
Or you could write a PR piece for this one?
The interview is in two days.
[ Leadership that Makes You Likable ]
Hey, Kota.
Will you be okay?
What?
- Are your parents still healthy?
- Yes.
Send the child to them,
or move back there.
Freelancing is tough.
It's hard to plan around it. You're really not that free.
If you're staying,
perhaps a different field would be best.
These...
Yes?
Let me do these.
Thanks, Man.
It's so true.
I must be prepared to do whatever it takes.
I'm a dad.
Have you got any other tasks?
People talk of leadership material.
Or being born with certain leadership qualities.
I don't agree.
Is your leadership all about effort?
It's about... action.
If you act, leadership follows.
I view leadership as tied to three major conditions.
Skill, technology, experience,
and interpersonal sensitivity.
In short, appreciation of others' pain, hardship,
their basic qualities and appeal.
Well,
I thought all signs were "go" to publish.
It was looking good.
But then?
I'm sorry.
I can't blame them.
Dropping from twentieth on the blog chart...
Sorry to raise your hopes.
Don't be. I understand.
It can't be helped.
It's fine, it's okay.
It's fine.
You have one message.
Kota, you haven't called in a week.
What's going on?
Just call back as soon as you hear this.
[ New Releases! ]
Let me borrow this.
Sure.
But I'm afraid it's tough getting a book published these days.
I see.
[ The Wife or Death Diary ]
Is this a pun?
Yes.
What's the hook?
Seems you wrote a daily story for your wife.
Or marriage bonds that spawned a miracle.
No.
No?
No.
No, right?
Playing messages.
What, you're not home?
How are you doing?
Listen, if things get tough, come have a drink anytime.
It's Eri.
I'm sorry about the other day.
I thought about it, and you're right.
Yuko loved books.
I understand your feelings for wanting to put it in a book.
I was selfishly thinking only about
having lost my best friend.
I didn't really consider what you're going through.
It's hardest for you.
It's your young brother-in-law.
Sorry about the other day.
I thought resuming your blog would
somehow keep us linked.
With my big sister gone,
I was worried we'd lose touch or something.
Anyway I'll call again.
Why aren't you here?
Kota, what's up with you?
We haven't heard a word from you.
Kota?
Hey, Kota.
Sorry.
Is it going to be impossible for you to raise Pei?
I'm coming home now.
I'm coming now.
December 6, Pei came home for the first time.
I keenly experienced what parenting is about.
Go to sleep.
I have a big meeting tomorrow.
Come on. Don't you want milk?
Are you all right?
Sorry to wake you, Mother.
Hey.
What is it, Pei?
Was it a bad dream?
Okay.
There, there.
Night, night
Gazing at Pei's face as he slept peacefully in her arms
planted a paternal realization in me.
But I couldn't rely on my mother-in-law forever.
I would need to raise Pei on my own.
Are you sure? You craved this assignment.
I know, but I can't afford to follow a singer on tour.
I'm sorry.
Tanaka!
You cover the Yosui tour.
Who, me? Seriously?
- May I?
- Yes.
Do it well. It's a feature article.
A feature, seriously?
Don't fail me.
But everyone at work has been
very supportive.
Oh!
Today, I got some help from Fukushima,
in the form of Keizo, Gitei and Eri.
Where's Pei?
- Something stinks.
- It does.
Sorry, Pei. Let me have a peek.
Don't tell me.
Diaper, diaper, diaper.
Did he?
Baby wipe, too. Get it quickly!
Oh my, he pooped. Poop, poop, lots of poop.
Stop repeating poop.
Huge load.
Awesome!
Pee, pee, now it's pee.
Stop saying pee and get me a towel.
Why are you filming?
Tissue's fine. Anything.
If I'd been alone in my exhausted state,
I might have tossed Pei flying with a giant swing.
What I learned is...
it's easy to get overwhelmed alone.
But with others around, you can manage, and enjoy life.
Pei-chan...
Hey.
Hey, hey, hey.
Do I smell?
What?
Do... I... smell?
The stoma is helping.
My wife had a stoma created.
It's an artificial anus.
Yes, she resisted the idea to the end.
After all, she's a woman.
It was a very painful decision for her.
- Eri!
- Thanks.
Well?
I brought it.
They had been feeding my wife intravenously,
depriving her of her greatest pleasure, eating.
The stoma fixed that.
I'll drop by often. Work is real slow.
Sorry to put you out. He can't cook a thing.
Here goes.
So good!
My wife said she'd experienced gastronomic Nirvana.
Is it painful?
It hurts?
At any rate, she was doing well,
and on the road to recovery.
It hurts, right?
In addition to lung metastasis, we found peritoneal dissemination.
It's when the cancer spreads like sown seeds.
The enlarged cancer cells have pierced the intestinal tract,
scattering into the abdominal cavity.
She says she wants beef stew for hormones when she gets out.
A desire to eat is a desire to live. She still had her appetite.
I can see light at the end of the tunnel.
Thanks to all for your encouragement.
At this rate, we'll be spending New Year's together as a family.
You must have felt it was over at this point.
Yes.
I could hear my heart breaking.
Is that you?
Why?
Why are you going to Hiroshima?
You've reappeared! Why have you reappeared?
I was on track for recovery!
Recovery.
My appearance or disappearance is up to you.
- Shall I vanish forever?
- No
Stay.
So...
are you leaving Pei with your parents?
Or are you returning to Hiroshima to live.
At last...
the moment of truth arrives.
Pardon?
Do you know why I'm here?
Why you see me?
You're a figment of...
Wrong.
I'm not dead.
It's you who died.
What?
When you came to propose to me...
that bus you took to Fukushima...
had an accident.
You died.
You were the one who died.
And you've been wandering...
the corporeal world ever since.
Sixth Sense?
You're a lying ghost!
Yes, but there's some truth, too.
You're approaching me in the afterlife.
So you see me again.
- Another lie.
- Yes.
Stop doing that!
You're the liar.
This is a treasure trove of lies.
"January 15, my wife came home."
Her treatment would consist of 3-week cycles,
with hospital visits each cycle for a 2-hour IV.
At home, she'd spend 2 weeks taking daily meds.
And one week off medicines before repeating the cycle.
Ah...
Pei! Mommy's home.
Were you sleeping?
Pei! Pei! Pei! Pei!
- He's gotten heavy.
- Yes.
It's cold. Let's go in.
Ah... Pei.
Pei's right here.
Write about this!
My homecoming and loving reunion with my son.
You wrote nothing about it!
In writing, the unspoken word outweighs the spoken.
Are you Kazuo Ishiguro (famous fiction author)?
I'm happy my wife is home.
But it means outings when I'm tired.
And being unable to watch porn whenever I please.
I sometimes find myself pining for that time alone.
What the heck is that?
Recently popular in our household is imitating Pei's laugh.
I haven't heard it yet myself, but my wife has.
How was it?
No way.
- Seriously, it was.
- No.
I'm serious. It was awesome!
It was fun, right, Pei?
Aha ha ha ha...
Okay, come on, come on. Show me.
Okay, Aha ha ha ha!
Pei, isn't this fun?
Laugh. Ha ha ha ha!
- Show your daddy.
- Encore.
Hey, hey, hey.
I'm not lying.
April 10, my wife's condition suddenly worsened.
You write all this stuff in detail.
I'm cold.
So cold!
How's that? Hold on.
I'll add more blankets.
I'll put one inside, okay? Any better?
It's still cold?
Cold!
- Okay. Okay.
- Cold!
There, there.
Hey, hey hey.
Where do you feel cold?
She's shivering uncontrollably.
Try to stay calm. Just stay calm.
Give her an antipyretic and monitor her. If the fever persists,
call me again.
It's hot.
Are you hot?
It's hot.
Hot?
I'll turn this off.
Hot!
This one, too.
I'll let in some fresh air.
It's still hot.
Is that okay?
- Hot!
- Okay.
Okay, okay. Let me.
- Hot!
- Open more?
Don't. Don't. Too hot.
By dawn, the shivering had stopped.
Then my wife said,
"When I pass on, I don't care if you have to lie."
"Just tell me I'm adorable and that you love me."
"Hold me like I'm someone truly, truly important."
Did I say that?
Of course.
I permit you to forget about me.
Find another woman.
You should experience
the thrill of romance.
Despicable, it's all lies.
[ When I pass on, I don't care if you have to lie. ]
[ Just tell me I'm adorable and that you love me. ]
Then why are you sobbing while reading it?
Chapter 4.
My wife complained of cold symptoms,
persistent nausea and high fever.
I took time off work so we could visit a university hospital.
After some tests, she was back in the hospital.
April 17, we received bad news.
My wife had a strong reaction to some new drugs.
She became listless and unaccepting of her situation.
I've had it with anticancer drugs.
If quitting means I could only live another month,
I think I'd rather spend it in an active body being with Pei.
Know what I mean?
It's better than not being able to enjoy time with him.
Maybe I'd prefer to quit those drugs.
Kota?
I'm afraid of dying.
I'm afraid...
of not being here anymore.
I'm afraid of not being able to speak to everyone
and to Pei.
I'm afraid...
of not being able to see him grow up.
It makes me sad.
I see.
I see?
Something a bit more encouraging would have been nice.
I wanted to give you
the best words possible.
At times like this,
do you say something forced?
Or do you go for power?
Hold hands?
Maybe one talks in subjective terms.
It may be cheating, but...
just being there when it's the worst,
I can't think
of a more important way
than for me...
to simply be there.
Then again... who knows?
There may be more life ahead,
and more I can do.
Get this. At Misawa Supermarket,
strawberries sell at 300 yen for two packs.
How can they survive on nothing, but special discount offers?
I can't imagine.
How they stay in business is a mystery to me.
- Is this good?
- Yes.
Right.
How about...
What about the Hidaka Store?
Oh, it's closing. There was a sign out front announcing it.
What a shame!
I loved their jumbo pot stickers.
What about Kuro?
Kuro-san!
- The black cat?
- This is tasty.
Have you ever noticed that
he acts all cute the moment, he thinks you'll feed him?
He's a survivor.
And growing fatter by the minute.
That shopkeeper,
he probably has Kuro so customers will order more.
What for, to feed Kuro?
- Exactly.
- No way.
Don't be so sure.
It's his strategy. That shopkeeper's no slouch.
Strategy, right?
Try to remember his face. Picture it.
- He's scheming.
- You're right. He is scheming.
You agree, right?
See? We thought the same way about him...
April 20, we planned to talk about what to do going forward.
Yuko?
I saw you hide that.
Oh, I missed you so much, Pei!
Your father keeps insisting that Pei has his eyebrows.
But he does! Look!
Yes, he does.
He has Dad's frowning eyebrows.
Do you think he has my ears?
Not at all.
Lower your voices.
That's quite all right.
Please enjoy your visit.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
I think...
If I'm going to die...
I'd prefer Fukushima.
Don't say that, Big Sis.
What about Pei?
If you go, he won't have a mother to raise him.
So hang in there.
She's not here just for Pei.
Sorry.
But did you know?
Drop it.
Toy Story 3 is coming out.
I hear it's great. It's the conclusion!
Can you die without seeing it?
We know, Gitei. But forget Toy Story.
I want to see it.
I want to see it very much!
Right?
Pei-chan.
[ South 5 Ward Nurse Station ]
My daughter,
she's my pride and joy.
You didn't write that.
I couldn't do it.
I'm going to Fukushima, too.
Do you mean you're quitting?
Yes.
"I tendered my resignation effective"
"upon training a successor."
No regrets.
[Chapter 5.]
May 8, my wife, Pei and I
moved to Fukushima.
Here we go.
Hold on just a second.
Go ahead.
Okay.
To infinity and beyond...
A classic burger and
french fries,
onion rings,
chicken nuggets,
and a cola,
please.
I'll come right back after training my successor.
Yes, I'll be waiting.
On May 13,
I received a call from Gitei late at night.
My wife had the chills, and couldn't stop shivering.
Only five days ago, she devoured a burger.
I wasn't at all prepared for this yet.
It can't be.
Don't cry reading your own book.
I get it, Kota.
You wrote all those lies to rescue yourself.
But you know what? Those lies...
rescued me, too.
Kota?
You're a writer.
You once said that
this book was meaningless if I didn't read it.
I want another person to read this.
When Pei grows up, show it to him.
Tell him his mom was like this.
Who cares if you can't publish?
Just write.
Keep on writing.
Talent doesn't matter.
Continuing to write...
is a talent.
In that case...
I leave the rest to you.
Answer it.
Kota? It's Mom.
Pei has a high fever!
He was rushed to the hospital in an ambulance!
Kota? Do you hear me?
Hey.
Hey, you!
Hang up.
The call is finished.
It's happening again!
Why?
Why is this happening? No!
Listen to me.
Make it in time.
Make it in time.
Well...
I'll... go on ahead.
You're late.
Sorry. Freeway traffic.
You're always late for important things.
How did you know this is important?
Because you said it was... on the phone.
Oh, right.
Order something.
Marry me.
Okay.
It all began from there.
Excuse me!
Excuse me! Can you let me off?
I have to go! Please!
Thank you.
I won't be late this time.
As I ran, I thought about...
the few written words my wife had left me.
Tomorrow, I become a mom.
This is the greatest thing in my life I am thankful for.
I'll be a mom. I had given up hope of becoming a mom.
Thank you, Husband! Thank you, World!
No exaggeration, it's this great!
Thank you, Kota.
I love you.
My wife had left a note.
[Let me just say, "It is good that I knew you (all)."]
They were her final words.
Let me just say, "It is good that I knew"
"you (all)."
Kota!
Where's Pei?
Doctor says not to worry.
The medicine seems to have worked.
His fever broke.
Pei was okay.
Hey.
Yes.
Way to go.
You're late.
Is that what you meant by going ahead?
Never disappearing?
As long as you don't forget me...
Then you're here forever.
You'll never disappear.
Well... I wonder about that.
No, I'm not calling about anything in particular.
Is everything okay?
Yes. Thank you.
No need for thanks.
Keizo-san?
Yes?
Is it okay if I stay with my wife for a while?
Yes.
Stay with her as long as you like,
until you're elderly.
I don't know. That's a long time.
Good morning.
Thanks to the Channel Manager: nalynn2020_178
Chief Segmenter: taigacj
Chief Editor: xialongne112
See you later, Pei.
Be good.
Thank you.
See you later.
I plan on getting
as far as I can as a writer.
So depending on the user's purpose,
the ideal tabi (socks for thong shoes) changes?
That's right. Take traditional dancers, for example.
Some wear such small tabi that their feet bend.
So we make the soles narrow, but snug on top.
I'll just keep writing.
How is one o'clock?
My wife may have died, but the story goes on.
I'll bring the galley proof next time.
Thank you.
The story isn't over.
And there's no sign that it will be.
[Chapter 5: Last Chapter (not)]
[Chapter 6]
[And then...]
Translation Editor: yunoilwoo
General Editor: worthyromance
Thank you to all our viewers.
Gosh, I want that!
♫ What spreads beyond the sky? ♫
♫ How can you see us? ♫
♫ I stretched out my hand ♫
♫ I scooped up the wind without reaching anywhere ♫
♫ If you laugh, the light is on ♫
.♫ I'm dancing holding someone's hand in my simple world ♫
♫ Where will it fall if I return that hand? ♫
♫ Maybe I can't believe I got to you ♫
♫ It's like a dream ♫
♫ I was just looking up ♫
♫ I was reaching out ♫
♫ No matter how high you jump ♫
♫ I knew I couldn't fly as high as a bird ♫
♫ Then I want to be free to swim in the ocean ♫
♫ Even with that in mind, I can't step forward ♫
♫ I look up again ♫
♫ In the endless sky ♫
♫ I remembered I was illuminated by you ♫
♫ And it fell here ♫
♫ I don't mind if I can't reach you ♫
♫ I'm looking at you like this ♫
♫ Maybe no matter what I get ♫
♫ I will still look up at the sky ♫
♫ Like the sky is changing ♫
♫ Like connecting my world ♫
♫ Like connecting ... ♫