Femalien 2 (1998) - full transcript

[MUSIC PLAYING]

KARA (VOICEOVER): Earth
Day One, Collector 3879.

Transport to Earth
has been successful.

I've taken the shape
of a human female,

and I'm calling myself "Kara."

Humans come in all
shapes and sizes.

The diversity is
quite remarkable.

The humans have five
highly developed senses.

It seems as though they
strive to please these senses

at all times, be it taste,
smell, hearing, touch,

or sight, stimulation
is what they



are constantly searching for.

I've also observed several
intimate encounters

between people.

The exchange of energy between
the humans as they couple

is most gratifying.

I don't think they realize
how powerful this energy is.

Breaking with the
rules of The Order

I have decided to step
out of my role as observer

and actually participate
in human relationships.

There are no words to describe
the boundless pleasures.

I have decided to
extend my stay.

These pleasures are too
exciting to give up.

- Very nice feeling.
- May I?

Yes, they're very nice.



I see your
anatomical responses

are responding correctly.

I wonder how big it will get.

I don't think we
should wait to find out.

We have work to do.

OK, look, Lester,
we have to talk.

OK, it's just not working out.

I mean, it's swell, but--

OK, that sounds really stupid.
It's too formal.

Lester, I need more from you
than you could ever give me.

And now I sound like
I'm in a soap opera.

Lester, don't say a word.

OK, don't say a word.

I mean, it's over.

I'm out of here.

Take good care of yourself.

Perfect.

To the point, honest.

Lester, don't say a word.

Lester, look I'm out here.

You know, it's just
not working out.

Terry, what's up?

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Lester, look, I'm out of here.

Take care of yourself.

What do you mean,
you're out of here?

This isn't working.

I thought it
worked pretty good.

Yeah, that's just the problem.

You know, we have
great sex, but--

I wouldn't say that
that's a problem.

Look, that is
all that we have.

You are so wrapped up
in your little UFO hobby

that I can't even break
through unless we--

Roll around the floor.

Yes.

Yeah, but I want something
more than just physical.

Look, I need attention.

I want someone that
I can count on.

Terry, we have a
good thing going here.

Why do you want to
go and change that?

No, you have a
good thing going.

What do you want from me?

Name it, and I'll do it.

I want you to quit
with all this UFO crap!

Crap?

This isn't crap.

Lester, I work for a living.

I have assignments
and the headlines.

The newspaper calls, I take
the pictures, I turn them in.

That's being responsible.

That's being an adult.

So you're calling
me irresponsible.

No, I'm just saying that
pissing away your trust fund

on these far-fetched ideas is
not my idea of a mature adult.

You know, at first I
thought it was kind of cute,

my boyfriend the eccentric.

You know, but now it's
just kind of silly.

You have no idea how much
this means to me, do you?

You have no idea how
much time and energy

I've put into my studies.

You just don't want to open your
mind up to the possibilities.

No, my mind is open, Lester.

That's why I'm leaving you.

[BEEPING]

Oh my god, oh my god!

Oh my god, Terry, it happened!

Terry, Terry, it happened.

They've arrived.

What are you talking about?

The visitors from out there.

Come on.

- What?
- It happened again.

While we were doing
it, it happened again.

What happened?

The visitors have come back.

Lester, please don't
start with this again.

There's been a temperature
shift in the upper atmosphere,

following by an
increase in ionization.

That is all right here.

Right off the weather
satellites I've hacked into.

Hey, you want proof, here it is.

This means nothing.

Proof is pictures, hard
facts, indisputable evidence.

I can track 'em with this.

If they've landed,
I'll find 'em.

- Lester.
- I'm serious.

You should have seen
this thing at Roswell.

It went crazy.

OK, Lester, that's it.

I can't handle this.

Will you come with
me to find them?

- What?
- The aliens.

Come with me.

Take pictures,
and together we'll

both make documentation and
prove once and for that we

are being visited.

And then you can't
have any doubts.

Look, this is ridiculous.

I've waited my whole
life for this moment.

I wanna share it with you.

Don't quit on me now.

Great.

I mean, the first
sincere guy I date

and he believes
in men from Mars.

There's no life on Mars.

Now, the moons of Jupiter,
that's another story.

Will you come with me?

OK, I'll make you a deal.

I will spend the day chasing
around your little UFOs,

but when you don't find
them, will you please put all

of this nonsense behind you?

Deal, but I won't have to.

You'll see.

I never could understand
why humans need to cover

up their bodies with clothes.

They obsess so
much over striving

for physical perfection,
then they cover it all up.

It doesn't make sense.

I think it's to keep their
lustful feelings under control.

Really?

Well, we know from our
research how impulsive.

They can be.

If they were exposed to nude
bodies on a constant basis,

they would be more
likely to spend

their time trying to have sex
than other productive pursuits.

Interesting theory.

Even now, with
your clothes on,

I can picture what
you look like naked.

Good thing I have
control over my emotions,

or else it could be
quite distracting.

I see what you mean.

I can picture you naked too.

DAK: Greetings,
fellow collectors.

Welcome to Planet Earth.

I am Dak.

Your access is my command.

I trust you have found the
safe house to your liking?

Very much so.

I am Collector 4899.

I'm Collector 5032.

We've come to escort
Collector 3879 back to Alteria.

The Order is very
upset with her reports.

Is that so?

I've found them to
be quite stimulating.

It's gotten so I couldn't
wait for her next report.

You seem to be overly
enthusiastic for a star cruiser

mainframe.

I've been spending a
lot of time downloading

information from
the various internet

communications on this planet.

I suppose some
emotional algorithms

have rubbed off on me.

No matter.

Collector 3879 was assigned to
a 24 hour collection period.

She's been on this
planet for well over one

of its solar years.

For the first time in her
existence, Kara is having fun.

I suppose she didn't
want to give that up.

You can't argue with
that logic, now, can you?

Kara?

Right.

Collector 3879's Earth name.

I guess we'll need
some names too.

How about "Xeda" and "Trion?"

Where did you get those names?

Merely a couple of circuit
boards I've interfaced with.

Fine with me.

We're not going to be
here that long, anyway.

You've been equipped
with transport modules.

I will now download the
coordinates of all of Kara's

travels into a remote uplink.

Please stand by.

I've had my eye on this
location for some time now.

The readings I've been
getting from this area's

been extraordinary.

I think this is
their landing spot.

I thought aliens landed in
the middle some wheat field

and made crop
circles or something.

Oh, no, they just
do that for fun.

The real business is
in the urban areas.

And why is it you're the
only one who knows this?

Oh, there others, believe me.
There are others.

Somehow, I don't find
that thought comforting.

OK, so what do we do now?

Just knock on the door and
see if the aliens can come out

and play?

We need the
element of surprise.

These characters
can be very evasive.

Hey, you know, the
last time I checked,

that was against the law.

Shh.

Oh, right, well, we
wouldn't want the owners

of the house to hear us and
do something crazy like call

the police!
- Come on.

[BEEP]

The download is complete.

You may now begin your
research where Kara began hers.

Excellent.

Ah-hah!

It's empty.

What a surprise.

Just like every other
room in this house.

These readings I'm
getting are incredible.

I think I can get
a lock on 'em now.

They're leaving an ion
trail wherever they go.

Come on, before the trail fades.

Where?

They like to walk among us. .

They feel safe surrounded
by throngs of people.

You almost make this
stuff sound believable.

It's real.
Please believe me.

I'm trying.

Well, let's go.

Where are we?

It appears to be a
replenishment station.

Yes, a restaurant.

That's it, a restaurant.

And Kara came here?

According to our files.

Maybe we should
review the reports.

KARA (VOICEOVER): Food.

Humans consume a lot of energy
searching for the perfect meal.

Preparation is a big part,
but not so big a part

as the actual consumption.

It's amazing how
comforting food can be.

Now I know what
hunger feels like.

We should eat then.

Remember not to draw too
much attention to ourselves

and blend in.

Two?

Yes, we are.

Table for two?

That would appear
to be sufficient.

Whatever.

Follow me.

Space, it's not
the final frontier.

There's nothing there
but blackness and dark.

Explore your soul, live your
life, celebrate Mother Earth.

Forget space.
Forget the moon.

Forget the sun.

Forget Mars.

It's all empty.

[FINGER SNAPPING]

Excuse me, but I think your
assessment of the universe

is a little lacking in
accurate information.

Yeah, like you would know.

Well, as a matter of fact.

Hey, we just came here to eat.

So eat.

Just don't bum me out.

I can't take criticism, man.

We shouldn't anger the humans.

Have you forgotten
about their history?

Right, the Crusades, the
inquisitions, the wars.

Humans can be very volatile.

So what will it be?

Hm, I think I'd like to try
the left side of the menu.

And I will have
the right side.

You must be really hungry.

Whatever.

OK.

I notice you're picking up
on the local colloquialisms.

Thought it'd help us fit in.

Well, then watch
how I can fit.

I shall present my own theories
on space for the audience.

WOMAN: Lay it on us, brother!

Way past Saturn, just around
the corner from the Milky Way,

on the other side of the
Andromeda, is my planet.

It's a long trip, man.

You know, my planet
has five moons.

My planet has a red
ocean with fish that fly.

My planet is always cold.

WOMAN: Go man, go!

We don't talk
much on my planet.

We don't eat much on my planet.

In fact, no one knows
how to feel on my planet.

No one knows how to
touch on my planet.

My planet is always cold.

[FINGER SNAPPING]

I love the way you smell.

I smell like ranch dressing.

No, you don't.

You smell like a summer
morning after the rain.

You smell like a cloud
over a field of wheat.

You're talking crap.

Keep it up.

Look, foreplay.

Where?

Over there.

Ah, excellent.

Do you think they'll
go all the way?

I hope so.
I'd like to see this first hand.

Baby, can you take a break?

Right now, in the
middle of lunch?

I can't keep my hands off you.

I need to be all over you.

- I can't.
- You can.

You're right.
I can.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

SONG: Feel me.

Love me.

That's right, baby.

I love it too.

Oh, yeah, baby.

Touch me now.

Oh, yeah.

Feel me, baby.

Are you all right?

Doesn't this affect you?

I'm more concerned
about how you feel.

Your pulse is racing.

Now your pulse is racing.

Stop that, please.

Did I do it wrong?

No, but we can't
get distracted.

We're on a mission, remember?

Right, the mission.

Let's go back to the table.

I've got to get back.

Stop that.
Stop.

I've gotta go.

I think they went in here.

Oh, yeah, right.

I know if I was an alien
that just landed on Earth,

the very first thing
I would wanna do

would be to get a Cobb salad.

My machines don't lie.

This place is just bursting
with ionized radiation.

OK, let's just say that,
for the sake of argument,

that there is someone in
there from another galaxy.

What are you gonna do about it?

Establish contact.

They would be strangers
in a strange land.

They'll need a guide.

Ready?

I'm ready as I'll ever be.

"Strangers in a strange land?"

Everybody looks strange to me.

Play it cool.

Just act like we're
here having lunch.

I'll try.

I'd ask you if there'd
be anything else,

but you've had everything.

I'm very full.

I like this eating thing.

Quite pleasurable.

Well, good for you.

I'll be right back
with your check.

[CRACKLING]

Don't bum me out, man.

Welcome to Earth.

Thanks.

We mean you no harm.

That's swell.

What is it you wish?

That you would stop
talking like an idiot.

Um, excuse me, but
are you an alien?

No, but I got a
good guess who is.

Who?

Way to go, Lester.

I can see how great
your so-called tracking

devices work.

She was covered with ions.

I could have sworn
she was one of them.

Look, I am no
expert, but I really

don't think that
an alien is going

to take a job as a waitress
in a place like this.

Hah.

Call me crazy.

Here's your check.

You'll have a nice day and
watch out for the weirdos.

"Check?"

An itemized
listing of our food.

That's very helpful.

I think we're supposed
to leave money.

Right.

We don't have any money.

Well, then we should
leave without drawing

attention to ourselves.

We'll return later
today with money.

Good idea.

Shall we proceed to the next
location on Kara's list?

It appears to be a
place called The Rubdown.

The Rubdown?

Access Dak and we'll
transport there.

[TELEPORTATION SOUNDS]

Oh my god, this
is what they ate.

Yeah, they must have
been really hungry.

Hey, where did those two go?

There were two of them?

Yeah, and they ate
everything off the menu,

and I do mean everything.

Aliens love our food.

I think this food
would kill them.

Did they happen to
say where they're going?

- You know them?
- Yes.

Yes, I do.

Well, then, you can pay
their bill, because it looks

like they just skipped out.

But--

Fork it over.

Yeah, you heard her.

Fork it over.

Well, do you know
what they look like?

Like everybody
else in this town.

Two beautiful people
with great bodies.

Now, are you gonna pay up,
or do I have to get nasty?

I'll pay, I'll pay.

Oh, great.

Now the ions have just
completely dissipated.

Look, are you
sure we're not just

following around someone who
works in a nuclear power plant?

Don't be ridiculous.

[CHUCKLING]

You are out trying to
make friends with aliens,

and you're calling
me ridiculous.

I'm sorry.

I'm just-- I'm
just very anxious.

You know, the more
I think about this,

the more I think it's
a really stupid idea.

I thought you were gonna let
me prove my theories to you.

Come on, Lester.

Look, this is a
wild goose chase.

OK?

I mean, we are all
alone on this planet.

There are no aliens.

That's it.

End of story.

Now, if you wanna be
with me, be with me.

But you're gonna have to
quit all this nonsense.

I can't.

I have to see where all
this is gonna leave me.

Then you're gonna
have to do it alone.

Well, I'm sorry
you feel that way.

Yeah, me too.

Good one.

I'm sorry.
- It's OK, Terry.

I'm fine.

Do I know you?

No, but I know you.

And if you wanna
keep Lester safe,

you'd better stick with him.

What are you talking about?

He could be in
a lot of danger.

He needs your protection.

My protection?

Trust me.

Yeah, I'll do just that.

Look, Lester will be
fine, but what I wanna--

hey!

Lester!

Is this the place?

This is it.

I recall from Kara's reports
that extreme amount of pleasure

were derived from simply
touching each other.

We should review her files.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Let's try it.

I thought you'd never ask.

I'm not feeling a whole
lot of pleasure from this.

I think we need to get naked.

Come on.

Come on, Freddy.

We've only got 15 minutes.

Yeah, but--

You said-- you said I could
use your body anytime I want.

I need the practice!

- I'm not gonna argue with that.
- Come on.

How does this feel?

[MOANING]

You know, I can give this
to you any time you want.

[MOANING]

But first, we need
to clearly define

our roles in this relationship.

Pay attention, Freddy!

What?

I'm just tired
of being dominant.

I wanna be swept off my feet.

I-- I want-- I want
a pirate kind of guy

with a patch on his eye
and a scruffy beard.

What the hell are
you talking about?

Never mind.

Get up.
I'm finished.

I have to get back to work.

This is work.

You're a masseuse
here, remember?

That's the problem, Freddy.

I'm supposed to be establishing
a spiritual connection.

I'm supposed to be--

I'm supposed to be
exchanging energy,

energy with my subjects,
and you're blocking me!

Kiss me, baby.

Oh, Freddy.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MOANING]

See?
Now, was that so hard?

Not anymore.

I'd better get up to the front.
- Oh, no.

It's time for our
post-coital cuddling time.

Baby I gotta go.

There's nobody up there.

Fine!

Thanks for the rubdown.

Excuse me.

May we ask you something?

Where the hell
did you come from?

A galaxy far, far away.

Right after people
do it, do they become

aggressive with one another?

We always thought
that the act of intimacy

is a pleasurable one, and you
two got in a real argument

there.

Have-- have you two
been spying on us?

You and this Freddy person,
you're involved, right?

Or is it just "one
of those things?"

Wow.

You two are very trippy.

You talk just like Kara.

Kara?

Kara?

Yeah, Kara.

You know her?

We're-- we're--

Her family.

Oh, let me guess.

Like-- like her
brother and sister?

Very well.

Kara, she like, thinks
she's from another planet,

but she's cool.

I like her.

Yes, we must speak with her.

You know, I haven't seen
her for a couple of weeks.

She-- she comes in
here all the time.

She loves being massaged.

She says it's a
stimulation that increases

its pleasure with every
session, or something like that.

Do you know where she is?

Maybe.

She's very open
about her interests.

You know what I mean?

I don't.

Oh.

It's very important
that we find her.

Her family misses her very much.

Oh, how sweet.

I think I know how to find her.

She has some very
particular tastes.

[CRACKLING]

Lester, I'm telling
you, something

is seriously wrong here.
- I know.

Will you look at my readings?

They must be here.

Would you put that thing
down for one goddamn minute?

Look, that guy scared me.

I mean, he knew who I was.

He knows who you are.

Look, I think he's
following you.

I'm just happy you decided
to follow on my search.

I can't talk to you.

Is this your first
visit to The Rubdown?

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, listen, have you seen to
LA gorgeous type people come

strolling through here that
acted like they belonged

but they really didn't?

Uh, I didn't see
anybody, but if you

could fill this
paperwork out, I could

set you up with a therapist.

Well, can we tour your
facility before we sign this?

- Sure, knock yourselves out.
- Come on.

[CRACKLING]

I'm out of here.

Where are you going?

What do you care?

We've got customers.

I deserve a break.

Besides, I'm on a
mission of mercy.

I'm helping a
family get reunited.

This is Kara's
brother and sister.

Hey, I don't even
know your names.

Xeda, and this is Trion.

Sounds like a computer board.

So you're related to Kara?

Kara's great.

Yes, she is.

We miss her very much.

Well, I'll be back whenever.

Fine, maybe I'll be here.

Maybe I won't.
- Fine.

Now the signal's faded again.

Damn, I knew it.

Lester.

Excuse me, are you sure no
one new's come through here?

They just left.

Who left?

Those new people that
you were asking about.

They took off with Kiki.

Kiki?

Yeah, she's looking for Kara.

Kara?

Yeah, her brother and
sister are looking for her.

I think they said their
names were Xeda and Trion.

Is this the Kara that
claims she's an alien visitor?

- Yeah, that's her.
- Ah-hah!

I knew it.
Xeda and Trion are aliens too.

What are you talking about?

This woman that calls herself
Kara, she's an alien visitor.

See, she's been in
Venice for the last year,

and she's-- she's made
quite a name for herself.

How do you know?

It's all over the internet.

She has her own web page.

She likes to swap erotic
stories with other people.

Have you ever met her?

Actually, no.

OK, she claims to
be an alien, and she's

running around Venice, swapping
erotic stories with people?

I would think she would be at
the top of your list of people

to meet.

She's very evasive.

And she's an alien.

It makes perfect
sense, doesn't it?

Yeah, perfect sense.

Do you know where they went?

Nope.

Damn.

Come on.

Lester, what about the man
in black who's following you?

Man in black?

What man in black?

This is what I have
been trying to tell you.

This man who knows who we are.

Look, I think he's following us.

This could be bad.

This could be very bad.

What?

If they know, then we
could be in big trouble.

- Who?
- Come on.

I could-- I could
page Kiki, if you want.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Kara might be here.

Is this on our
list of coordinates?

Scanning.

Yes, here it is,
the Neon Jungle.

A gentlemen's club.

And a lot more.

Kara likes to come here a lot.

She even gets up and
dances on occasion.

Kara danced?

Boy, could she.

Would you excuse
us for a moment.

We need to review our
files and see if there's

any listing of Kara dancing.
- Proceed.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

SONG: Watch me and I'll dance.

Now you'll see I may
be your last chance.

Each time that I may confess,
I'll give and then you'll take.

You'll take.

Let the beauty unfold,
a moving grace, forcing

its will on all in this place.

As one body craves another
to learn and explore,

stripping away the
garment, bare to the core.

One body now and
purely revealed,

standing naked in this world,
her lips remain sealed.

For all to see, beauty
behold, the power

when the soul is exposed.

Watch me and I'll dance.

Now you'll see I may
be your last chance.

Each time that I may confess,
I'll give and then you'll take.

I'll give.

Watch me now.

This might be your last chance.

I confess.

I confess.
Watch me.

I may be your last chance.

I'll strip.

I'll dance for you.

Almost out of time.

Watch me and I'll dance.

Now you'll see I may
be your last chance.

Each time that I may confess,
I'll give and then you'll take.

I'll give.

Watch me.

How we touch.

I may be your last chance.

I think I'd like to
examine this whole dance

phenomenon much closer.

Hey, Kiki, long time no see.

Hey, Cal, what's up?

You know, the
same whole grind.

This is Kara's
sister and brother.

Have you seen her around?
- No, no.

She hasn't been in for weeks.

I miss her.

But I'll take care of you guys.

I'd like to see
Xeda dance like this.

I don't think I'm
that coordinated.

Excuse me for a moment.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Hey, there are on the house.

Any friend of Kara's
is a friend of mine.

Kara and I used to have
some wild times together.

Can you show me how
these wild times went?

[THEME MUSIC]

Wow, you're just
like your sister.

Do you know where
I might find her?

I don't know where she is.

We could try Virtual Encounters.

She worked there for a while.

Hey, Kara might be at a place
called "Virtual Encounters."

Maybe I should
stay here and examine

those females more closely.

I don't think
that's a good idea.

We lost Kara, and I
don't need to lose you.

Really?

I didn't know you cared.

I didn't know I cared
either, until now.

You know something?

Existing in this body is
changing the way I think.

Me too.

I'm very confused.

Hey, are we going
to the VR Shop or not?

Lead the way.

Our readings are really
in the red right now.

Lester, stop.

Look, I am not taking
one more step until you

tell me what is going on.

Now, who is this man in black?

And why are you afraid of him?

He has the proof that
we're on the right track.

This is a secret
government agency

that handles alien encounters.

What they do is,
they bring people in,

they search the place,
make sure everything's OK.

They're very dangerous.

How dangerous?

Let's just say they have
a way of erasing things.

Now, come on.

Into a strip club?

Our readings aren't wrong, OK?

[CRACKLING]

This is the place.

We're gonna scan the whole area.

I will not let 'em
get away again.

You know, maybe I'll
just have a seat right here

and keep my eye open
for the man in black.

OK, sounds good.

How about a beer?

You got it.

[CRACKLING]

Nice place.

Beautiful woman,
don't you think?

Look, don't erase me.

No one's getting erased.

What do you want?

Just enjoying the show.

Lester, he's harmless.

He has no idea what he's doing.

Oh, but he does.

We've had our eyes on
him for some time now.

All right, look, I
work for the press,

and I don't like any of this big
government conspiracy bullshit.

Now, I have no idea
what your agenda is,

but if you so much as
lay a hand on Lester,

I will make it my
life's mission to expose

whatever you've got going on.

Wow.

I didn't know you cared
about Lester that much.

In fact, weren't you breaking
up with him this morning?

Oh, god, how
did you know that?

I know a lot of things
you don't know what

or who you're dealing with here.

You wanna help Lester out?

That's fine.

The minute he finds
what he's looking

for, you hit this remote.

We'll take care
of the rest of it.

But--

It's the only way
he can remain alive.

Oh, and by the way, don't
share this with him.

He wouldn't understand.

He gets passionate
about certain things.

But then, you'd know that.

My readings are
all over the place.

I need to recalibrate
all my scanners.

And I cannot do it here.

Lester.

Let's get outside
in the light.

Lester.

I've lost my trail.

Look, I'm sorry, OK, but
maybe it is for the best.

If I could find Kara, then I
could find all three of them.

You looking for Kara too?

Yeah, have you seen her?

No, but her brother and sister
were just here looking for her.

Why didn't you tell us?

Hey, you didn't ask.

Well, where did they go?

They went over to
Virtual Encounters.

Let's go, let's go.

Oh, hey.

Welcome to Virtual Encounters.

Your one stop for all
your virtual needs.

What's your fantasy?

I'd like you to dance for me.

Hey, wait a minute.

I said virtual reality,
not reality reality.

If you want me to dance for you,
you have to build a program.

Hey, we're looking for Kara.

Is she around?

Nope, I think she took off
to Amsterdam or something.

You can never keep that
girl in one place, you know?

Did she leave a
forwarding number?

Nope, just some
of her old programs.

- Programs?
- Programs?

Yeah, programs.

Did you wanna see them?

She said anyone was
welcome to use them.

You must show
them to us at once.

All right, I love
your enthusiasm.

Right this way.

Take a seat.

Kara had a big hand in
upgrading this place.

The way she worked the
computer, it was like she was

from outer space or something.

Good for her.

Yeah, she liked to
call virtual reality

a sort of mind foreplay for
the real thing, you know?

Foreplay, ah, yes.

We're quite familiar with
where foreplay came from.

Right.

Well, this was one of
her favorite programs.

You ready?
- Ready.

Here goes.

COMPUTER: All systems ready.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

So what did you think?

Pretty wild, huh?

That was incredible.

Can I have a turn?

Um, I think you might
need a different program.

Make it so.

Kara could get a
little cranky sometimes.

I hope you can take it.

I assure you, I can take it.

Here goes.

[BEEP]

[STARTING BELL CHIMES]

Once more.

Wow.

You really are related to Kara.

Let me just run out and check
the front real quick, OK?

OK.

- All right, where are they?
- Who?

The aliens.
I know they're here.

Don't deny it.
- Lester, calm down.

I will not calm down.

I've come this far.

They will not get
away from me again.

Kara certainly left
her mark on this world.

You could say that again.

Kara certainly left
her mark on this world.

We should download
these programs

and scan them with
the help of Dak.

Hey, Kara used to
talk about that Dak guy.

Was he some kind of guru?

You could say that.

Let's get back to Dak at once.

I gotta get back to work.

Let me know if you find Kara.

Tell her I owe her a massage.

Let's download these programs.

Now, this Kara, Xeda,
and Trion, they're here,

aren't they?

Hey, Kiki.

These people are looking
for your friends.

- Oh, they're in the back.
- I knew it.

Let's go.

Hey!

Finished.

Let's go.

[TELEPORTATION SOUNDS]

Hey!

What the hell?

[CRACKLING]

I don't believe it.
- Come on.

No, I don't.
I don't believe it.

No time for that.
We have to hurry.

- Where?
- Where we started from.

[SIGH]

DAK: Welcome home.

How was your day?

Unsuccessful.

We couldn't find
Kara, but we do have

her virtual reality programs.

Let's upload them now
take a look at them.

Dak, uplink the programs and
run them to their conclusion.

What is this place?

It makes no sense.

What are we supposed to do here?

KARA: Kiss each other.

Kara?

Kiss each other.

Go on.

Don't be shy.

Doesn't that feel wonderful?

Of all the sensations
I found on this planet,

that simple act seems to
be the most rewarding.

Where are we?

In another one of
my virtual programs.

I had a feeling you guys
would come looking for me,

so I designed this program
to specially activate

when it was run through
Dak's mainframe.

We've come to take
you back to Alteria.

I can't go.

We must take you.

We have our orders.

I don't think
you wanna do that.

But we have our orders.

No.

She's right.

I don't wanna go back.

Sometimes, you just have
to say to hell with orders

and follow your heart.

What the hell.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

This is I've been missing--

you.

Now I know what
hunger really is.

Look, shouldn't
we call somebody?

You know, like the
FBI or something?

Later.
Come on.

Lester, I'm scared.

Now you're scared?

Look, that-- the man in
black, he was at the club

and he said you were in danger.

He gave me this.

I am supposed to signal him
whenever you find whatever

it is that you're looking for.
- Terry.

Lester, he said
it was the only way

to keep you out of danger.

It's all a scam.

Can't you see?

They want the aliens
for themselves.

They're not gonna protect me.

Look, I don't wanna lose you.

I thought you were
gonna break up with me.

Well, maybe I'm
changing my mind.

What?

What, are you gonna
argue with me?

Well, then, let's see this
thing through to the end, then.

Let's do it.

- Hey.
- How's it going.

On behalf of Planet
Earth, greetings.

- Greetings yourself.
- Uh.

What is it you wish?

We're just hanging out.

We think we're gonna
stick around and check

out Earth for a while.

You're not gonna
zap us, are you?

Don't be silly.

What about a probe?

No, we gave that up eons ago!

Say, will you dance for me?

We should take
you to our leaders.

- Let's go for a swim first.
- Yeah.

I don't believe this.

TERRY: Horny aliens
from outer space.

What should we do?

DAK: I believe there
is an old expression.

"When in Rome, do
what the Romans do."

Come on, join us.

MAN IN BLACK: Not so fast.

Lester!

I know what you're
up to, and you're

not gonna take them away!

I have no intention
of doing that.

Agh, no!
Ah!

What?

I'm sorry.

I-- I like chocolate.

It's one of my
favorite pleasures.

Kara!

In the flesh.

Oh my god.

It's an honor to
finally meet you.

Thank you.

But what were you
doing following us,

and why did you tell me
that Lester was in danger?

I'm sorry.

I was just having fun.

I thought I'd give
you two an adventure,

give you a chance to see how
you really felt about him.

You really love him, don't you?

Yes, but why all
this, and who are you?

These are the aliens.

I told you, they
like to have fun.

Ever since I've
come to Earth, I've

been trying to make sure the
right people stay together.

It's my little gift
for all the pleasures

you humans have given me.

Can we stay?

Absolutely.

But what are we
supposed to do?

Whatever you want.

We must document this day, so
we get proof of your existence.

If you do that, it'll
spoil all the fun.

DAK: Of course, no
one will believe you.

Besides, with a
simple command, I can

erase your short term memory.

You'll wake from
sleep and not remember

one thing from this whole day.

Wait, wait.

Don't do that.

We can keep a secret.

We can?

Yes.

Lester, I don't wanna forget
this day for anything.

We can't.

We must do this.

[BEEPING]

What the hell.

Let's leave them.

These humans, they
just can't keep

their hands off each other.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

I can track 'em with this.

MAN: Hold it in your other hand.

I can track 'em with this.

MAN: OK, the other.

The other hand.

I can track 'em with this.

We've come to--

I'm serious.

You should have seen this.

It's very important
that we talk to her.

I'm sorry.
- Sorry.

I don't.

She's very open
about her, um, her--

If they know then, we
could be in big trouble.

TERRY: Who?

Come on.
MAN: Do it again.

You looked in the camera.
Do it again.

And action.

If they know then, we
could be in big trouble.

TERRY: Who?

Come on.

MAN: OK, I'm sorry.

You looked in the camera.

Don't look in the camera.

OK, go back to start.

No matter.

Collector 3879.

What are you doing?

MAN: And action.

If they know, then we
could be in big trouble?

TERRY: Who?
- I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

and Follow your heart.

She can't take my hand--

I'm sorry.

If they know, then we
could be in big trouble.

TERRY: Who?

No, she's right.

Is, um, her-- so sorry.

Exactly.

MAN: It makes perfect
sense, doesn't it?

OK, yeah.

It makes perfect
sense, doesn't it?

TRION: We don't talk
much on my planet.

We don't eat much on my planet.

MAN: Cut.

TRION: [SPEAKING GIBBERISH]