Female, Male, Gay, Lesbian (2013) - full transcript

--== McEphie ==--

Even before we were born,

my family's story
started with a lot of hardships.

Are all of your 14 cars
really undergoing maintenance?

Yes!
In fact, I myself destroyed one of them.

Hey!

Madam, this car is already fixed.

-Somebody put gum in the carburetor.
-You're fired!

Can you deal with that later?

The hospital is here. Hop in.

My mom almost went crazy
because of Grandma Amparo,



my father's monster mom.

I'm the doctor.

-Doc, I'm about to give birth!
-Bring out the mother!

Help me!

According to the ultrasound,
I am bearing four children.

Of course, I know that.

-Yes.
-I'm a doctor.

You're crazy!

-Push!
-Push...

-There's another one.
-What? Another one?

-Wait.
-It's coming!

-It's coming!
-Push!

-My son...
-My son.

This is mine!



This is Basilio's brother!
This is Crispin!

That's my son! He came from my womb.

-Hey!
-Hey, Sisa!

How did this lunatic get in here?

-Nurse! Get her out of here!
-Lunatic?

Good thing I have a strong mother.

She was able to deliver the four of us.

That's Girlie.

Peter. The boy.

Pretty, right?

And Panying.

-Cute!
-They're so cute!

-Sister.
-My children...

Your children are so cute!

Wow! There are so many.

Look, he's crying!

Sister, is it true that you gave birth
in a mental institution?

Yes. They brought me to one.

-I'm sorry.
-It's your mother's fault!

Maybe my mother just panicked.

I didn't panic!

I have presence of mind.

You should thank me
because I paid the hospital bill.

I have to take care of
some business in the US.

I'm not crying because of that!

I'm afraid of your mother!

Just be patient with her, OK?

I don't have a choice.

It's time to go.

My cute babies!

You think we're crying
because Father left us?

We were crying out of fear.

Because Grandma Amparo
had formulated an evil plan.

Hurry up!

What's happening?

We're going out. You want anything?

No, I'm OK. Bon voyage.

Wait, are you taking my children?

-Stop her!
-Ma!

-You can leave the other two.
-Wait! Ma!

My children! Wait! Ma!

-You knew about this!
-We didn't know anything about it, ma'am.

I can never ever forgive them.

Because of them,
our family was torn apart,

and we lived in poverty.

You evil people!

Come on, Mark. Let's have breakfast.

Go ahead, Mom!
I've still got four hectares left!

Don't worry! Come on and eat first.

But this carabao has an appointment.

-What?
-It's going to watch a basketball game.

Girlie!

Half the day is gone,
and you're still sleeping?

In a few hours it's will be bedtime again
so just let me sleep.

Just wake me up tomorrow.
I didn't sleep well.

What happened to you?

I couldn't breathe.

It felt like a heavy weight
was crushing my chest.

My children are so lazy!

And so pretty.

Peter...

Peter, wake up. It's late.

Wake up, Peter!

Peter.
You're already addicted to car drifting.

Why are you wearing a helmet in bed?
Wake up!

Peter! Wake up!

Why is it so hard to wake you up?

I don't get you, Dad.

fully air-conditioned,

and a huge bed,

and then you won't let me sleep?

Are you playing with me?

I don't know how you grew up
to be so lazy.

I'm so hardworking and handsome!

It's too early for jokes, Dad.

Oops, take it slow.

Don't act like it's your first time here
at the farm.

I'm used to working on a farm,
but I'm not used to all these muscles.

Stop it! The kids can see you.

Mom, who are these two kids?
Are you adopting again?

Looks like Mother wants to set up
an orphanage here at the farm.

You know this makes me happy,
so just let me be.

Besides, Joon-pyo is leaving us.

He will be flying back soon.

Korea is getting me
as an exchange student.

But you're Korean!
Maybe you'll get deported.

Wait, what are your names?

I'm Bella.

My mother is going to work in Japan.

She buys vegetables from Mama Pia
in the market.

No one would take care of me,
so she left me with Mama Pia.

And I'm Ariel.

I survive
by scavenging garbage in the market.

Mama Pia took pity on me,
so she adopted me.

A scavenger yet so handsome,
so fair-skinned, and so healthy?

Do you just scavenge garbage
or do you eat it, too?

I eat it too.

You have such fair complexion.
What's your name?

Oh, that's why.

Wait. Sister, you might get accused
of child trafficking.

Are we so many
that we cause traffic problems?

I thought we only got heavy traffic
in Manila.

Yes, as heavy as your hair.

We're talking about a different "traffic".

You don't know a thing about trafficking
because all you know is smoke belching!

What's child trafficking?

You're giving me a headache.

the selling of children.

Panying! Carry her!

Why are you carrying all of that?

Son.

I have eight arms.

Then you should have done it in the mall.

Marie, please, don't spoil her.
She might not apply for a job.

And, of course, I want to shop

It's going to be very soon.

Why don't you two break up?

No! Your boyfriend Dave.

Pops.

Bro... This is too much.
I think I used all of your blood.

I'm sorry for my anemia.

Don't worry.

Even if I run out of blood,
I still have my phlegm.

We still have lots of friends
who can donate blood.

Our carabao Kalalakihan. Her.

Why me?

I need blood, not squid ink.

Stop fooling around.

What's important, Panying,
is you're OK, right?

So rest now, my daughter.

I'm OK, but I feel weak
wearing this pink hospital gown.

Can I get the blue one next time?

Let's go. They're OK now.

Sister, go ahead. I'll take care of them.

I'll take care of Mark.

-OK, I'll go now.
-It's OK, Ma.

-Rest well.
-Take care.

Uncle... Why don't you go ahead?

He'll take care of me. Go ahead.

He's OK.

And you, you're OK now, right?

You can go now too and leave us here.

You said you were feeling better.

Ouch! Sit beside me.

Peter Jackstone.

We're not twins?

You're twins! Isn't it obvious?

But you're not just twins.

Your brother has a damaged liver.
You have a damaged brain!

You aren't just twins, you're quadruplets.

There are two other Girlies?

We have to go to the Philippines.

We need to find your siblings
and your mother.

Our priority
is for your brother to be cured.

-Wow! This place is beautiful.
-Wow! Finally, we're in Manila.

Why are you looking at me?

It's too crowded here.

Here, you are sure to get cured.

Unlike in the country,

where, when you get an attack,
we resort to herbal medicine.

Are we just going to stand here and talk?

Aren't we going to the house
that we're renting?

Let's go
before they mistake her for the muffler.

You did it wrong!
The signage is too small.

You should have made it bigger!

Are you Peter Jackstone and family?

-Let's go there?
-There!

-Let's go.
-Hi, hi.

Who? Who's dead?

He's dead!

Scary!

Even scarier than my dream
of French-kissing Dagul.

This strawberry mobile is useless!

It's better off as fruit salad!

Just buy a new cellphone. Over there.

Ma'am, you're so beautiful!

You look like a star!

-I look like a star?
-Yes.

Does my face have five corners
like that of a star?

Are we in the Philippines already?

Yes, Ma, we're here.

Aren't you sweating in that outfit?

I have so many memories here.

So pretty!

-Isn't she so pretty?
-Yes. I told you so.

-I won't pay for you, I'm the driver.
-It's very tiring to commute.

-We should've taken a calesa.
-Is Miss Pia here?

This is the house.
There are two living rooms.

Dining is here. The kitchen is there.
The master bedroom is there.

OK?

-Mom.
-Yes?

Are we really going to live in this house?

It's too big. We can't afford this.

I agree.

The furniture's complete.
And there's a piano.

Not just that. No electricity
and water charges. Free wi-fi.

-Wi-Fi?
-Class! Free wi-fi?

How much is the rent again?

2,320 pesos. Everything's free. All in.

Why is the rent so low?

No reason.

You won't get out of here alive
unless you tell us the truth!

-You're dead.
-Nothing.

It's just that no one stays here long.

So, the landlord thought of renting it out
for a small amount.

But why?

There are ghosts!

That's your sister!

-Father, get rid of the ghosts.
-Mom, what is the priest for?

I just thought of exorcising this house
to get rid of all the ghosts.

Mom, no! She's like family to us.

Haven't I told you
not to make fun of your sister?

Mark, bro.

Enough of that.

Father, don't mind them.

Let's get inside
so I can show you the ghosts.

Don't you want to come with me? Let's go.

-Father, let's go here.
-What's that?

Ghosts!

They really brought luggage?

I'm so sorry I'm sick.

I've been a burden to you.

You should've just left me upstairs.

-I'll find a spot with a better signal.
-OK.

You're so beautiful!

How are you, darling?

I'm OK. Just tired from searching.

But I have a lead already.
They say Pia is in Sampaloc.

Well,
I really just want us to get married.

So when you find them,

Hey, man.

Where can I apply for a job like yours?

Ah, janitor?

No, a coin bank.

It isn't easy working here, in Manila.

You're better off in the province.
You could be a farmer.

Here, you'll just starve.
You have to pay for every move.

Money is everything.
Nothing will happen to you here.

If I were you,
I'd go back to the province.

Are you really a janitor
or are you a guidance counselor?

I don't know.

And how did you know
that I was a provincial lass?

You're not. You're a provincial lad.

How rude!

Just because you're Chinese...

How did you know I'm Chinese?

There.

There.
Looks like I'm going to be lucky today.

How rude!

You know, I'm also a fortune-teller.

Really? What's my fortune?

-You'll get imprisoned!
-How rude!

-You're rude!
-You're also rude!

-You started it!
-You're ruder!

-We're both rude!
-You're rude! Rude!

You should have worn underwear there!
You're ruder!

-See, you're rude!
-Then, we're both rude!

OK, we're both rude. We're all rude.

This one.

Just a second.

Ma'am, check out our watches.

-They're all original. Made in USA.
-Let me see that.

This one?

Here.

Mark, when you get hired today,
I hope you can ask for an advance.

We don't have enough money for food
or for Panying's medicine.

Take care. I love you.

Miss, may I see that?

-Also, that gold one.
-Here you go.

-Is that for men?
-Unisex.

This one, with lots of diamonds too.

That silver one.

Here's the silver one.

-Miss?
-Wait, Ma'am.

-This one, sir?
-That one.

5,600 pesos, sir.
The same with the other one.

Same price, sir.

-We'll get it.
-OK, sir, please proceed to the counter.

Ma'am, have you picked one?

No. I changed my mind.
I want a wall clock.

Is that so?

-They have it there. Thank you.
-OK. Thank you.

One, two...

Sir, you get surprised so easily.

Who wouldn't be surprised?
I look like this and you call me "sir"?

Why, sir?

We have the same hairdo.

Sir, over here.
Tall, long hair, wearing a yellow top.

There! That's him! Faster!

-Run!
-Catch him!

There's a shoplifter in your area.
Tall, wearing yellow.

I am not sure-- a woman. A man.
No! A gay guy!

-What's happening?
-Look up.

-Don't let him slide.
-Copy, sir!

Excuse me. Are you gay?

You want a fight? Do I look gay?
Do I look gay?

Negative.

He's not here, sir.

-Get him!
-It's you!

Trying to make it hard for us, huh?

Have mercy on me!

-Here. This one.
-There's the other one, sir.

-I told you, sir.
-And another one.

Those are what you've stolen.

Sir, I'm so sorry.
It's just that my sister is sick.

Take his picture.

I AM A SHOPLIFTER

Sir, aren't you going
to post this around the mall?

Yes.

I don't look good in this outfit.

So what about it?

Can I just change my outfit?
There are lots of nice clothes there.

So that I look good in the picture.
Selfie-selfie.

Go! Just make it quick!

Primadonna!

Sir, can I change for the last time?

-So I'll look more fabulous in the poster.
-That's enough.

I'll look more fabulous there, sir!
Last one, please.

Fine! Make it quick!

-Is he done yet?
-Not yet, sir.

Check on him! Hurry!

-Sir! He escaped!
-What?

What are you doing? Look for him!

-Yes, sir!
-I knew it! He escaped!

No. It's not possible.

-Sir...
-Yes?

Have you found him?

That one? Not yet.

Even the police haven't found him.

We don't even care anymore.

OK, then.

Hello.

Let's talk later.

Bye.

Miss...

Do you work here?

Yes.

Have you found him? May I apply?

Are you a singer?

I don't want to brag,

but I can give Aiza and Charice
a run for their money.

I know...

Are you sure about your singer?

My singer?

I just met her outside
and she said she wanted to apply.

Why isn't she singing?

-Boo! Get off that stage!
-Get off!

-Stop!
-So, that's it?

That's it?

All right, this is nice.

Are you sure
you're going to start working?

Can you handle it?

-Isn't that going to stress you out?
-It's nothing, Ma. I'm just going to sing.

And Liza is there to help me...

Looks like you're going through puberty.

Looks like your face is getting oily.

What happened to you?
Why are you sweating?

Maybe it's because I was running.

Running from someone?

Of course not!

You're my twin.
So, I know when you do something wrong.

Whatever I did, I did it for you.

-Break. Break.
-Why?

-Sir, the gay shoplifter is back.
-What? Follow him! I'll catch up.

Oops.

Do you have this in silver?

Oh! You left half of your body behind.

I thought she was tall.

Where's the partner?

What if I hit you with this shoe?
Of course this has a partner!

-Are you sure? That's a blonde.
-That's the thief!

That's really you! I remember that face!
You're the thief!

Say what?

And you even tried disguising yourself?

You even put pepper on your upper lip!

And blonde hair?
You thought I wouldn't recognize you!

Miss, may I take you out?

-Get her.
-Catch her!

Don't let that thief get away!

Bring her to the office!

The reason why we brought you here

is because of your shoplifting charges
the other day.

I haven't seen a single item in this mall
that's even worthy of looking at!

And you dare accuse me of shoplifting?

Do I look like a shoplifter?

Wow.

You know...

Just settle this with us

because we have strong evidence
against you.

Aside from pictures,
we also captured you on CCTV.

-That's my twin!
-Don't make me look stupid.

I'm not making you look stupid.

I'm making you look stupid
if I ask you to comb your hair.

What I'm saying is that's not me.
That's my twin!

So what's the story?
You're twins born on a boat.

Then a storm came,
and one of you was blown away to the US.

And the other to the Visayas. Is that it?

-Beautiful! Great!
-Amazing!

Yes! That's my story.
You, what's your story?

You're triplets?

The other one is a matchstick,
and the other is a cotton bud?

And your father
is a laundry soap endorser.

And your grandfather is a host
of a showbiz-oriented talk show?

What? Tell me!
I know a lot about you! Explosive!

So answer me. Now!

Arrest him!

I have enough evidence
to put you to jail forever.

Ma, were you able to find
your Prince Charming?

To me,
what's important is my Prince Charming.

We'll have a happy family,
and we'll have a lot of children.

Maybe around 12? Right, Ma?

Yeah, Ma, where's your husband?

The father of Mark and Panying?

Maybe he's dead.
So let's not talk about him, OK?

Excuse me, where is Pia's house?

-There.
-There.

Oh, there's Pia Moran.

How did you meet your husband?

Yes, how?

A long time ago,
he got invited to a party in our house.

He was tall.

-Macho.
-Wow, my God. You're so happy.

He entered our house like that.

And then,

-I approached him.
-Is that him?

When I got near him, he caressed my face.

Like this!
I can feel his touch even now...

So I also caressed his face.
And then he suddenly embraced me!

I can still feel his embrace...

But it's so tight!

So tight!

Pete!

Where are my children? Tell me!

-Children?
-Who are they talking about?

Where?

Who was the last one who used this phone?

Busy?

Police station?
Why are we here at a police station?

Why?

What kind of parenting
did you give our children?

-Why did she get imprisoned?
-I don't know.

Were you able to talk to my lawyer
regarding Marklyn Monroe Jackstone?

Yes, sir.

Bro, let Ms. Jackstone out.

My daughter?

Wait, I can't reach you.

My child.

My daughter...

You're so beautiful!

You're so beautiful!

My daughter...

Sorry, I messed up your hair.

My daughter, you're so beautiful!

Go, get inside.

Hey,
thank you for helping me get hired here.

It's nothing.
Your sister is really close to me.

So that's why
Panying is always going to work.

It's because of you.
You're beautiful inside and out.

Stop it. Just get back to work.

You and Panying are a perfect pair.

-This song is for you...
-So funny...

This one, Bro.

Stay here for a minute.

I'm sorry, I'm new here,
so I can't entertain you.

If you want, you can wait for me outside.
There's no more bar fine.

That's him!

-Yeah! Looks exactly like a horse!
-That's him?

He looks like a horse!

You're rude!

-We're customers!
-Wait!

Don't start a fight! You're drunk!

-They're rude!
-Who's drunk?

Who?

-Oh, you're going to fight back? Come on!
-Bouncer!

-Bouncer!
-He's willing to fight.

-Just hold it for me.
-I have no time for laundry.

My shirt might get ripped.

Let me...

-There you go.
-Hi.

Get your hands off me. I'll beat him up.

Now what, huh?

Stop it! I don't want you to get hurt!

That arrogant bastard!

Oh. What's happening?

That's enough.

Why is Mama taking so long?

Why do you have to walk like that?
It's like you've just been circumcised.

What are you doing there?

We're sitting.

I know, but why are you sitting outside?

Is there a profound reason
why you're sitting outside?

Why are you angry?

We're just waiting for Mama.

Where did she go?

With her husband.

Husband? She has no husband!

She has! He picked her up here.

Oh, no. Mama got scammed!

No, that's really her husband!

If it's not her husband,
then why did Mama go:

"Pete! Where are our children?
Where are they?"

Aren't both of you her children?

-Oh my God.
-So stubborn.

My child...

Panying, I told you to fix this chair!

Who is that?

-Look's like Panying.
-Yeah. They look alike.

Oh, my son...

My son! You're so handsome!

There's another one.

Is this just because I'm hungry,
or am I really seeing four now?

Quadruplets?

The other two might just be wearing masks.

No, they're really quadruplets.

How many rounds to go?

Why does this have to happen?

What do you mean?

Two faces are already scary enough.
Four is unimaginable.

You're right.

Kids, get inside your rooms now.
It's bedtime.

-Good night, Ma.
-Good night.

Are they your children, too?

What do you think of me? Am I a pig?

After four children,
you think I had another four right away?

No.

My children...

Seeing the four of you together
makes me feel so good.

Pose.

So what are they here for, Ma?

Then we'll play Trip to Jerusalem

with that woman
who looks like an old mannequin?

No, Mark,
we came here because we need your help.

Help?

My mom's name is Pia,

not Tina Monzon-Palma,
who is the head of a foundation.

You came here for help?

For 25 years, when we were suffering,
did we ask for help?

My son, even if he looks like a giant,
he's still your father.

Treat him with respect.

Son, don't do that.

Be thankful that my mother told me
that you're my father.

Because if she didn't...

I'd think that...

You're my uncle.

So what brings you here... Pa?

It's about Peter. He needs a liver.

A liver? Seriously?

You came all the way here to ask for liver
for a dish that you're going to cook?

Don't you have a market there?
To buy liver?

No, I meant he needs a donor
for a liver transplant.

I'm just hoping that you or Panying
may be compatible donors.

Our doctor in the US told us that
we have a better chance with siblings.

How did Peter get infected with hepatitis?

I think he got it from the food he eats.

You guys are so rich
and yet you devour contaminated food?

We're the ones living
in a third world country,

who have no access
to delicious and healthy food,

but you're the ones
who are sick with hepatitis?

You have a very unfortunate family, Ma!

Broken, and unhealthy!

Peter has hepatitis. Panying has anemia.

I'm sure that blonde woman
has a mental condition.

My son, are you also sick?

-Yes.
-Is it contagious?

-Yes.
-My son, what is your sickness?

My beauty.

Why didn't you go to Robin Padilla
and ask him for a liver?

Hey, you, blondie,
don't act like you're entitled.

You're asking for a favor,
and yet you have no respect!

You're right.
You won't get anything from me.

So you all can leave, right now!

You're the shoplifter!

I can't take it
that you're calling me a...

Wait, why are you accusing
your brother of that?

He's not a criminal.
We may be poor, but we're not thieves!

Son, tell her!

Check the CCTV footage
so you can see that your son is a thief!

What CCTV are you talking about?

My son,
tell her that you're not a criminal!

I know that's not true.

You're not a thief.

I'm having a heart attack.

Mark, what's happening to you?

Mark will recover soon.

He fainted because of high blood pressure.

But, he's stable.

How about Peter?

His Hepatitis-C is getting worse.

Doc,
we're having a hard time finding a donor.

What if I donate, Doc?

You're anemic!

Mark is the only one who's compatible.

Doc, we'll have a hard time
convincing my brother.

We'll have to bribe him
with a dozen basketball players.

Girlie, why don't you introduce Mark
to some basketball players?

I don't know any.

How come you don't know any?
I thought you're a referee.

How ignorant.

You need to convince your son to donate
before it's too late.

Oh, no, Peter.

Doc, if I may ask,
how much will the whole operation cost?

Don't worry. I'll pay for everything.

Are you sure?

-Ma! Pa!
-Yes?

They are fighting again upstairs!

-Let's go upstairs.
-Let's go!

No! I won't agree to this.

My children, no!

No, Ma!

My son, no!

No!

Not that, son.

That's the hospital gown.

-This one?
-Yes.

Isn't this free?

Whatever happens,
I will not give you my liver!

Not the entire liver.

Have mercy.

Please spare me some liver.

Spare you some liver?

I can't even spare alms,
and you ask me for a liver?

Wow, you can speak straight English?
Where did you learn that?

I just read it from the script.
Here are my lines.

Here's the next line, "How could you?"

You, answer that.

There's nothing you can do
and I don't need to explain anything.

I'm not depriving you of Mother,
because it's your right as children.

But it's my right to deprive you
of my own liver.

Ma, this is so hard to take.

But we're family.
Your brother needs your liver.

Yes, we're quadruplets,
but do I really have to share my liver?

Yes.

-Why?
-To live and let liver.

What the hell.

Ma, I can't accept this. This isn't fair.

They were the ones
who lived a luxurious life,

and yet I'm the one
who will suffer for them?

During those times
that Panying had nothing to wear,

Peter did nothing but shop in the US!

During those times my chest felt heavy
out of resentment,

Girlie did nothing
but enjoy her heavy chest.

Ma!

My son, Peter is your brother, right?

I hope you will change your mind.

-Pia.
-Yes?

Thank you for convincing Mark.

Don't thank me. Thank him.

My son, thank you for...

You play the piano very well.

Am I good, Dad?

Very good.

Why don't you try it?
Just play with the cassette.

My son, I will forever be indebted to you

for the sacrifice
you made for your brother.

Don't thank me yet because we're not done
with the operation yet.

My son,
when do you want to undergo surgery?

Am I a doctor, Ma?

If you want, get a knife right now
so we can slice off my liver.

Son...

By the way, Dad...

while we're waiting for surgery,

can my two imported siblings
live here with us?

Why?

What you're asking me to do
is no simple task.

I don't want to be the only one suffering.

Your brother is sick.
Don't make him suffer.

Ma, who told you
it's going to be my brother?

This is the place
where we lived in poverty,

while you guys were living

a comfortable life
with that silver outfit.

And because I missed the both of you...

and I am so happy
that you're finally here,

I'll let you sleep well,

because tomorrow,

I have prepared something
that will surely relax you.

I want a frog
with a gold coin in its mouth.

-There's one there.
-I'm the boss now.

No, on the other side.

The frogs told me
they're going to hang out there.

-It's on your head.
-Can't you see?

What took you so long?

I can't take a bath
because I'm waiting for you!

Can't you see
I'm already having a hard time?

You know you're fetching water,
so why did you wear heels?

You know there's no water,
so why are you taking a bath?

Then fill this with more water!

No liver for your brother.

Don't you have a bigger container?

Let's take a bath with the entire village!

Whatever.

Why did you fetch water?

Look, we have water.

Your son is so mean!

Oh, my!

-Oh, my goodness!
-Have you no mercy?

She doesn't know how to plow.

When I was born,
did I instantly know how to plow?

I had to learn.

She's there!

Mark, what's happening?

I know what you're doing to your sister.

If you really wanted her to plow,
then I'd help her.

Don't you dare help her.

What if I do?

Then you're a helpful guy.

Nobody is relaxed while plowing.

When are you going to let me stop?
The sun has set already.

Is there no overtime work in the US?

You're the one who's overtime.
You're over this time.

I've already plowed this entire farm.

You can do it. Don't whine.

That's what I do here every single day.

Brother Mark...

When Girlie's hair turns black
and her skin gets dark,

will you finally stop this?

What are you talking about?

When will you take pity on your sister?

I don't mind if you keep making fun
of my skin,

but she's not me.

I want you to know this.

When I make fun of you,
that's just a joke.

And even if I do that,

don't forget that you are beautiful,
and that I love you a lot.

I love the four of you so much.
Especially you.

If I didn't love you,
then I wouldn't have rescued you

from the ashtray where your mom left you.

Thank you for loving the four of us,
even if we're not your real siblings.

But...

why is it so hard for you
to love your real siblings?

She's right, Brother.

Hey.

That's enough.

He's making us suffer like this

because he knows
we need something from him.

I'm sorry.
I know you're doing this for me.

After the liver transplant,
I'll make sure he pays for this.

Go, get some rest.

You don't have to do this tomorrow.

Mark!

Your uncle and aunt told me
you're putting your sister through hell.

Is that true?

What did I do wrong?

Didn't you tell me
you were just going on an outing?

Outing.

This is out of town so this is an outing.

But why are you making her work here?

What's wrong with that?
You made me work hard here my entire life.

Does that mean you're a bad mother?

Wait, why is this about me?
Where are your siblings?

She's having fun over there...

Why are you making Peter work?

-Peter!
-No, not Peter. That should be Girlie!

Peter, stop that!
That's bad for you. Stop that, son!

-Son, stop that!
-Where is...?

-Son!
-What are you doing there?

-Peter!
-Peter!

Son! Hurry!

Hurry up! Hurry!

-Doc! Please help my son!
-What happened?

Ma, it's not my fault.
It's Girlie's fault.

Pia...

If you don't want to donate your liver
to your brother,

then I won't force you.

But don't kill him!

You don't understand me.

You don't understand me, Ma.

You don't know how I feel.

You only know how it feels
for a wife to be left by her husband,

but you don't know how it feels
to be an abandoned child.

I'm not selfish.

I never said
that I would not give my liver.

But I won't give it yet.

Because I'm afraid...

I'm afraid that when they finally get
what they want,

they will leave me again.

I don't want to be left ever again!

People always leave me.
I'm so tired of it.

But, you know, Dad,
thank you for abandoning me.

Because now,
no man can hurt me more than you did

when you left me all those years ago.

I don't feel any pain anymore.

Because nothing is more painful
than being abandoned by your father.

My son...

-My son...
-Pia, Peter's liver is badly damaged.

We need to do the operation now.

You can slice my liver.

You can slice my liver now.

Just leave a little for me.

Pia...

I think this is the right time for me
to apologize for everything that happened.

I was surprised
when Mama suddenly arrived in the US

with our two kids.

She told me
that you two were always fighting,

that you had found another man...

and that you'd attempted to run off
with our children.

She said she was lucky that
she managed to save Peter and Girlie.

That's not true.

Pete, you know that's a lie.

I wanted to go back to you.

I wanted to find you,

but Mama threatened me

that if I went back to you,

she would make us all suffer in poverty,
including our children.

Pia, I admit, I was a coward.

I was afraid of Mama.

I was afraid for our future.

Pia, I'm sorry

that I've been a weak father and husband.

Also, thank you...

for raising our children well--
Mark and Panying.

Let's not talk about the past anymore.

What's important
is that our children are OK now.

Thank you, Pia.

Oops!

Catch!

Quick! We only have five seconds.

As soon as you get well,

Girlie, I'm sorry for everything I did.

Please, forgive me.

after you made me suffer on the farm?

Doc, did anything happen?

Did Mark and Peter die?

Mark and Peter?

Mark needs to rest.

You're overreacting!
I thought somebody had died!

-Can't I be in tears from too much joy?
-Yes, you can.

Enough of this.
Mark may see you. He'll get jealous.

He'll get jealous?

He even had the guts to say sorry
in the hospital?

G-R-R-R-R.

Whatever it is you're scheming...

Where did that come from?

From me,
is there anybody else in this room?

Liza, order anything. My treat.

One crispy pork leg, two servings of rice.

And one family-size soft drink.
How about you?

-That's all for you?
-Yes.

I'll have a glass of water.

-Let's order.
-Wait.

Why are you hugging me?
We're no longer a couple, right?

But we never separated!

-Wow!
-We're so close.

We can't separate.

-Let's order now, love.
-OK, let's order now.

This tastes good! Brother, try this.

That's yummy.

-What's this?
-Chicken ass!

Ass?

You don't eat chicken ass?

What a flirt.

It's easy. Open your mouth.

My mouth?

Yes, as simple as this.

There.

Flirt!

-There.
-Like that?

And then?

Then chew. Chew it.

There you go.

This is fun.

This is yummy.

Yummy?

Yummy.

-Brother, please be more careful.
-What is happening to mom?

What's with the face?

Why are you acting like a 16-year-old?

Why not?

Don't tell me this is about Father.

Of course not.

He was sweet last night
and now you act like you're a couple?

I'm sorry, sir.

Well, this is just a hunch,

but did you see
how your father looked at me?

Don't you think
he wants us to get back together?

Ma, are you from Hope Foundation?

No.

Because you're getting your hopes up.

You're hoping to get back together
to get hurt again.

So pessimistic.

Ouch, brother, you stepped on my hair!

Here. Over here.

Why can't you just let them be happy?

Can't you see?
They're like a spoon and fork,

bread and butter, soy sauce and vinegar,
they fit together!

-What?
-Like the two of us, we're a pair.

-You, who's your pair? Harry, right?
-Yes.

It's your relationship with Harry
that you should be worrying about.

That's what I'm afraid of.

I have a feeling that Blondie has a plan.

She will do anything
to take Harry from me!

Don't think about that.

We can be one happy family again
if our mom and dad get back together.

Right?

Try this.

How is it?

Delicious! To be fair.

You too, bro.

Sorry, bro.

I forgot you were fresh from surgery.

Sorry!

Sorry. Sorry, bro.

You know I just had surgery
and that I'm still recovering.

If my liver gets damaged again,
I don't know who else can donate.

Don't worry. We can ask Reno.

Why did you come here?

I didn't come here for Dad.
I wanted to talk to you.

It's about our sibling
who has out-of-this-world boobs.

No, I mean me.

Come on, who else has boobs
of the four of us but Girlie?

-So what's this?
-Hey!

Those aren't boobs. I'm sleep-deprived.
Those are under-eye bags.

Please, talk to her.

Tell her to stop flirting with Harry.
Mark will surely get mad.

She never listens.

I just don't want our family
to be broken again.

I don't want the four of us fighting.

I want the four of us together in peace.
Happy.

Is it OK for you to stay here beside me?

I feel like something bad is gonna happen.

If you don't stop flirting,
I'll make sure that happens.

I'm afraid!

I'll just be here.

Here's your order
of crispy pork drenched in vinegar.

Sorry!

What happened?

You're such a slut!

She tripped me.

Sorry, I didn't even touch you.

I smell like vinegar.

-Sorry.
-Ew!

Go upstairs and take a bath.

I opened the wrong door.

What are you doing here?

I'm looking for the toilet.

Toilet? There's one downstairs.

Down there?

Sorry, I can't go with you.

Somebody might see us
and I might get fired.

I will call somebody. Wait here.

So I'll be brave enough
to go to the toilet... alone.

Have you no shame! How crass!

Your hair may be white, but nothing is
darker than your heart! Boyfriend stealer!

Boyfriend?

You two are not even together!

You're not a couple.

You're not in a relationship.

I'm not a "him", I'm a "her"!

No. You're a "him"!

You're a "him"!

You pee in the men's room
while I go to the ladies'.

And when I pee, I do it sitting down,
while you do it standing.

If I sit down, then my thing will get wet!

You're a "him"!

Yes! My fist is a "him"

and if I punch your face,
let's see if you can get up.

Push it!

Oh, push it?

Wait!

Our daughter is so good!

-Just like me. You're good!
-Good job.

-You're really good.
-You're so good.

Ma. Where's Blondie?

She went with that man
who had vinegar spilled on his shirt.

Where's Mark?

I think he followed them.

Oh, no! Big trouble!

Peter, let's follow them.

If that's a problem,
then we should go with you.

No, Ma, you stay here.
We'll take care of this.

Someone will sing "I Am What I Am",
"Rico Mambo" and "Shake Body Body Dancer".

I'll take care of this.

-Hey, wait! Stop!
-Stop it!

That's enough! Enough! Stop fighting!

Stop it! That's enough!

It's that fag snatcher's fault!

You snatched everything away from us!

Get out of here!

Go back to America
and don't ever come back!

Fag!

I'm the eldest here.

How come?

I'm first in the title of this movie:
Girl, Boy, Bakla, Tomboy.

So I'm the youngest?

-Is your brother Mark home?
-Ma!

Yes, Ma.

He's been crying in his room.

So I went out.

I'm afraid
I might get drowned in his tears.

Go and sleep in his room.

Just bring a raft
so you won't drown in his tears, OK?

Good night, Ma.

Pia...

I think we have to do something
to reconcile our two girls.

It's hard to talk to Mark when he's angry.

I'll take care of this. I'll set them up.

We'll bring them to a nice place.

I thought you were a statue too.

Don't start. I'm really pissed right now.

Wait, why are you pissed?

Nothing.

I just don't like
the color of those balloons.

-OK. Don't tap me...
-Gotcha!

In fairness to the timing of this,
it's also our birthday.

This would've been a happier occasion
if we were complete.

But we are complete. Me, you, Mother.

Are we just triplets now?

That's what I'm saying.
Don't be like that.

Just be happy. OK?
Let's all be positive! Happy!

There they are!

There they are! Come on!

Pia!

-Hello.
-Your son.

Son.

This is a trap.

But if you think we're going to make up
because it's our birthday,

you are completely wrong.

My daughter,

you've been fighting for so long already.

Can't you just make up?

I just want to go home.

This is nice.

-Can I check it out?
-Sure.

Nice.

I think this suits me.

And it suits me well.

I don't know
if I can say the same for you.

These lenses are really impressive.

They're clear,

but, when exposed to the sun,
they get dark.

Just like the heart of my twin.

That's really impressive.

Just like your armpits.

Even without sunlight,
they're already dark.

I'll try this later.

I'll just freshen up.

My son,

I hope you can forgive your sister Girlie.

Why isn't she the one
asking for my forgiveness?

Forgive her, bro.

Don't fuss over a guy.

You speak as if
there is a surplus of hot guys.

If there are, why do you have to be one?

Bro, the thing is,
you love with all your heart.

You think your heart
is bigger than Girlie's chest.

That's why you feel so heavy inside.

My son,
I know you understand better than her.

And I know you'll be a good example
to her.

So this is how it feels
to be embraced by your father.

How I wish I'd felt this
during all the times I needed you.

When was that?

That summer when I had to be circumcised.

I was so afraid.
I was the only one without a father.

What happened?

I backed out. I just asked Panying to go.

So... do you still want to do it?

I can see it from here.

Son, your father just told me
that you had a fight with Girlie.

It's because of Girlie.
She has no conscience.

She's been my elder sister...

When we were still kids,

you used to teach me
what was right and wrong.

This time, I'll be the one to teach you.

Please, make up with Mark,

since you're the eldest.

And it's also your fault.

Why is it so hard to contact you?

Marie,

Since living together is the trend now,

and you always want to be trendy, right?

We can't!

This has to go ahead.

Wait! You might trip!

Did you have fun, sweetheart?

Oh, Pia... I'm sorry.

No, sweetheart, it's fine.
Look at me. I look fine, right?

I'll prepare dinner.
I'll cook your favorite.

-OK!
-Really? Then, I'll start cooking.

-Marie is here, in the Philippines.
-What?

That's OK. She doesn't know where we are.

-What?
-I gave her the address!

Who is she?

-Who is that?
-Yeah, who is she?

Who are you?

How did you get in here?

-Right.
-Do you own this house?

Then... you're a robber!

I'll have you beaten up!

Marie, what are you doing here?
How did you get in?

We own Mr. Quickie Philippines.

We're locksmiths.

Wait! You know her?

Didn't you tell her why you're here
in the Philippines?

For the liver transplant.

Aside from that!

You needed her to sign the divorce papers
so we can get married.

Right, Petey-weetie?

I saw something
that can seal your lips permanently!

Girlie?

You knew about this?

You know her?

You're involved in this?

What for?

You know Pete, you haven't changed.

And you never will.

You're used to fooling people.

What hurts is that you had to do it
at my children's expense.

Get out of here! Right now!

You don't need to explain anything
because we all know

that your heart is as black
as your giant mole!

Mole?

Yes, there, above your lips! Mole of Asia!

There, on your face.

Yuck! A booger indeed!

Get out of here!

You're American, but you're gross!

Ma, is it true that you already signed
the annulment papers?

Yes, brother.

She signed the annulment papers.

Why are you crying?

Do you know what an annulment is?

Hey!

Help me. What's an annulment?

You asked for it, so you figure it out.

Brother, I'm sorry.

I don't know what annul means.

Is that related to canal?

Ma, why did you sign it?
Why did you agree?

You're his legal wife. You have rights.

So even if Dad promises
to marry someone else,

you're still the rightful wife.

-You have the rights.
-Can you please keep quiet?

No, Ma. You are the rightful wife.

Don't deny it.
You are the rightful wife. You are.

If you don't stop,
I'm going to throw this glass at you.

You... You are my rightful mother.

Delivery, ma'am.

I'll go ahead.

What's that?

OK, you read it.

What's that?

She signed them.

Gosh, she really signed them!

Where's my phone?

Gosh!

Now we can go!

I miss preparing breakfast
just like Mama used to do.

You guys are awake!

Who are you?

Granny,
I'm your most beautiful granddaughter.

What evil spirit possessed you?

Granny,
no evil spirit can possess me anymore,

because all of them
are enjoying your body.

-You're not, Girlie!
-Shut your big mouth!

My granddaughter!

Your mother? Who is your mother?

Mama Pia...

My son's wife!

You know, Pia and Pete
used to love each other so much.

They couldn't be separated!

Your father can't marry another woman!

But we might not see them anymore.

Three bottles of beer
and three margaritas.

Are you OK?

Yes, I'm OK.

No. You're not OK.

How can I be OK after what happened?

I thought everything was OK,
but it was all a joke.

But what pisses me off the most is,
even though I'm mad at them,

I still miss them.

You will be together again.

You're a family, right?

Thank you for always being there for me.
You never leave.

Even when I've left, you're still there.
Are you waiting for something?

You know, there's somebody here
who always thinks of you.

Even when we were on the farm,
you just don't notice him.

I hope this doesn't end here,
in this movie.

What?

Nothing.

Cheers.

Wow! This is really grand!

Darling, why don't we get married there,
at the Golden Gate Bridge?

Then let's have our reception at Alcatraz.

Hush! Don't be too loud!

My daughter-in-law Pia might hear you.

You old, forgetful woman!

Marie! Never shout at my grandmother.

Yeah, right!

just so you can cancel our wedding?

I don't need more reasons.

Your disrespect for my mother

for us not to get married.

Oh, is that it?

Don't be too hot-headed.

OK, I'll make up with her now.

Mommy! Girlie, hold this.

-You! I will push you if you don't stop!
-Marie!

Don't worry.

She won't fall.

There's a barrier.

Marie, you're disrespecting my family!

All I need is my family.

Hey, I'm also part of this family! Ouch!

-Granny!
-Karma! See!

I don't get why she uses a wheelchair,
she's not even a politician.

Oh, I remember now, I can walk.

this is how you repay me?

who loves my family.

So who needs
another organ transplant this time?

Stop playing with my body organs.

Are you cannibals?

Why are you hot-headed all the time?

Why don't you install air-conditioning
on your forehead?

Who wouldn't be hotheaded
after all of your betrayal?

Girl, why don't you try to move on?

He's a Fil-Am?

Half-feeling, half-ambitious.

-Stop!
-How rude!

Pops and Marie broke up.

Because Marie...

day and night...

has no panty.

Really?

We realized the reason Dad broke up
is because he still loves our mama.

How funny! Mama feels the same.

So that's why these past few days,
Mama has been sad.

And not just that.

She talks in her sleep, looking for Papa.

They still love each other.

So you mean there is hope
for them to get back together?

We need to come up with a plan
for them to get back together.

And only Mark can pull this off.

After all, we are family.

And families, no matter what happens,

are meant to be together,
loving one another.

Are you sure about this plan?

Seems too complicated.

According to Girlie, this is the only way
for Papa to go back to the Philippines.

Uncle and Auntie know about this already,

and they said if something bad happens
to Mama because of this,

they will bury you quadruplets!

Do you know who the quadruplets are?

-Of course!
-Who?

The four of us kids. Right?

Just make sure Mama won't know
that I'm the one who "died".

I don't want to hurt her feelings.

I hope you succeed with this absurd plan.

I'm the star here,
so I'm sure this will be a success.

Close it. Let's go.

-Help them.
-You do it.

Who died?

What's happening?

Who's Mark?

I'll just get my passport and my wallet.

-Who's the grandchild?
-Mark.

Who's Mark?

We're about to start.
Why aren't they here yet?

I've been calling Peter and Girlie
since last night, but no one's picking up.

Hey! What's happening there?
Are they here yet?

Yes, they're near. Don't worry.

They'll surely get here within this month.
Be patient.

Stop talking. They might hear you.

Over here.

So who died?

Do we really have to attend the funeral?

Am I close to this person?

Very close, Sister.

What's important is you're here.
He's our neighbor.

We have so many neighbors. My child...

Wait, why do we have to be here?

We're an all-star cast. Who died?

Someone very close to us.

Auntie Tentay,
our neighbor who owns an eatery.

But we're not close.
Fine, let's take a seat.

Peter, where are you?

We're at the cemetery.
The funeral is happening.

We're stuck in traffic.

Where exactly?

Up, in the air.
We can't land because of air traffic.

We're dead!

Where's the deceased?

At the mall, Father. Joke, joke.

Of course, he's inside the casket.

What's his name?

Can we just give you his nickname? Marky.

Your brother's namesake.

Marky.

Coincidence.

In the name of the Father, the Son,
and the Holy Spirit...

-Amen.
-Amen.

Jesus who resurrected...

What's this?

Why am I going to be buried?

Father, time out.

We're waiting for someone.

I'm sorry.
I still have three funerals today.

We can start the burial.

Stop them!

-Stop them!
-Wait!

-Why?
-Wait!

-Son...
-Wait! You go ahead!

Don't put it down just yet.

-Don't... wait...
-No! Wait! Have mercy, Father! Wait!

No!
Wait, please check if the grave is deep.

-That hurts!
-Son! Your skin might get burned.

This isn't a good plan!

-What are you doing?
-This can't happen, Ma!

-That's not your relative.
-Wait! This can't be!

-Stop! Have mercy!
-Son, what are you doing?

-Ouch! My finger got stuck!
-You want to go too?

Is he your relative?
We don't even know him.

-Ma, no!
-Panying, what are you doing?

Sir, stop it please.

-Sir!
-Hey, have you tried it down there?

What's that? What kind of a joke is this?

-Ma! This can't be!
-Why?

Hey! I can't breathe.

My daughter, please...

Hey! I said wait!

My daughter, what's happening?

-Pia.
-Hey!

Pete! What are you doing here?

Ma, the wedding's cancelled.
Pops broke up with Marie.

I'm sorry, Peter,

but I can't bring myself to love you
after all the pain you caused me.

Pia,
I know I made a lot of mistakes in life.

Ma! Pa!

There's only one thing I did right.
That I loved you sincerely.

Let me kiss away the pain in your heart.

Get on with your wooing later!

Me? I'm not in pain. I'm OK.

-You're not sad?
-No!

Your son died!

That one? No, he's just Mark's namesake.

You're going to regret this.

Please, make up now!

That's my son's voice!

Our son is haunting us!

Right away?

I can't breathe!

-Get out!
-I'm still alive!

This was just our trick
so that Papa would come home

and you'd be together again.

What? Whose idea was this?

Girlie planned this! Come here!

-Mark, stop it.
-Oops, she fell.

And we were finally able to bury
everything that had happened.

We were able to push Mama and Papa
together again.

I'm so happy
because we're finally complete.

But wait, all of us should be happy here.

So when I learned that Girlie
really loved Harry,

I got out of their way.

And these children,
they taught us how to love one another.

If they can love one another
even if they are not real siblings,

we can do that too.

Panying and Liza are happily in love.

So, Aiza and Charice,

get ready, because my sister can beat you
both in singing and in love.

Now, let's talk about my beauty.

I have the most handsome boyfriend
in the world.

We're all happily in love.
But wait, what about Peter?

There. All of us are happy now.

But nothing can be happier
than a family that stays together.

Hey, come here!

Come here!

Like this. A selfie, but with the family.