Felicidades (2000) - full transcript
Practiced plastic surgery
on my wife the other day.
Cut up all her credit cards.
Doctor, doctor.
Come on kids, closer together.
Right, that's it, there... OK.
Grandma... Granny, give us a smile,
Granny... look over... there, there we go.
Yeah, get down!
Louder!
Let's hear it!
When my Grandma turned sixty...
the doctor advised her to walk
2 miles a day...
she's now ninety
and we can't find her.
OK.
Daniela... where's Daniela?
I see 'ya.
Emilio, your uncle,
came all the way from Buenos Aires...
to dedicate this song to you.
Emilio, come on up.
Emilio!
Jaime says goodnight to you all,
see you the next Bat Mitzvah.
Daniela, baby, with all my heart,
this song's just for you.
Juanchi.
Juanchi.
I'd stay but I have to be at the airport
two hours before the flight.
It's OK, OK.
Don't worry.
Dani, this one's for you,
with all my heart.
And to you, Juan.
You're off the hook 'cause of your arm,
otherwise you'd be out here dancing.
And to all Rosario, to the musicians,
to you all.
Dani...
- Should we sit him down there?
- Don't put him there, it's all pissed.
OK, there.
- This guy sure is heavy, man.
- On the floor.
There we go... watch the head.
Don't worry...
Raise his legs.
Let's see, up we go... up, up...
There we are.
Can't go so far.
- Did you eat anything?
- No, nothing.
Bring a potato knish.
No, what he needs is
something strong to drink.
Or some coffee, some...
How about we keep quiet for a while,
just relax a bit...
I couldn't hold it in any longer.
I was grinding on my false teeth.
- What's up, Jaime?
- What's up, Chubby?
How you been?
Hey, long time no see.
Well, been at least thirty pounds.
Son of a gun, you never change.
Hey, did you meet Zipora?
Jaime, Juancho Zipora.
What's up?
Hey, Emilio, we could get a move on, hu?
No, man. We said we'd leave
an hour and a half from now.
I know, but I gotta go home and get
my suitcase before going to the airport.
- But we already knew that, Juan.
- Yeah, but something's come up, Emilio.
Listen to what I'm saying.
Do you get it?
Yes, but we said we'd leave
an hour and a half from now.
Yes, I know we said an hour and a half,
but I am asking, as a favor,
because something's come up... now.
- Yeah, I also have something to do now.
- And what if I miss my flight?
No, no, serious,
what if there's a traffic jam?
Juan, what can I say? We said we'd
leave an hour and a half from now,
so what I say is, OK, let's leave
an hour and a half from now.
I'm asking you, please,
I need to get go Buenos Aires, now.
I'm on my way to Buenos Aires,
if you want, I'll give you a lift.
There we go, Jaime'll drive you. Good.
- But, are you leaving right away?
- Right away, no.
I gotta wait till I get paid,
then we're off.
- Thought we were losing him.
- Better?
- Want me to drive you home?
- I think he still looks a little pale.
But you said you had limos available,
why do you suddenly say you don't?
Yes, to Buenos Aires...
I told you already!
I know it's a holid... So what?
There are also emergencies on this date,
man... come on... It doesn't take...
on the highway it's three hours.
Look, if a driver had already picked me
up, we'd have gone and...
he'd already be back to spend Christmas
Eve with his... How much is it?
But I already told you that money
is no concern! I'll pay for it.
Listen, I've got an emergency too.
I've got to get to Buenos Aires,
I've a plane to catch,
I can't be... I can't wait...
I can't wait for an hour,
I'd go with someone who's also going,
listen, do you have a car?
Well, look, I'm on C?rdoba street and...
Juan Manuel de... at the Monument
to the Flag. Yes, where...
No, I am not putting you on.
And who's driving me?
Hu? Who'll drive me?
Hello?
Hello!
Let's not spoil the fun, OK?
A big hug to the "Mother Goose"
family from Ramallo...
There's Rabbi Goldstein playing
this week's top song,
let's play this...
it fits like a glove.
Total crap, man. Hey, we got everything
for drinking some "mates" later, OK?
Sure, why not? I got a mate, holly,
thermos, all back here, look.
There's also a sandwich in the
glove compartment. You can have it.
- Tired, right?
- No, not tired. Stuff.
- Stuff.
- Stuff.
That girl, the one was watching you.
That then left with another guy.
- Hu?
- A nice looking girl.
Well, holidays stink, you know?
You get stimuli from all quarters.
- Right.
- Well, yeah.
And relationships... well.
Gotta take it easy.
- Then things happen.
- Sure.
Matters of the heart.
Or of this one here, that demands and
demands and doesn't ever stop.
Thing is... I miss her.
So, we'll go back. We turn back.
Hit reverse and go back.
A nice girl.
If I were you...
- Got any smokes?
- No, I don't smoke.
Then get off.
I'm fooling with 'ya.
So you'll change that look on your face,
come on, no long face.
But we gotta get some, OK?
We gotta get some soon 'cause
I'll die if I don't have a smoke.
I'll die of cancer.
Well, grandpa, better?
We're trying to get a hold
of your daughter. You just take it easy.
Sorry,
even if it were the starter and I
put my battery, it'd be the same.
- Then, the bendix.
- The bendix?
Yeah. The way you left it you should've
gotten some fuel, get it?
It's a good battery. I don't get it.
Now, you use it at night,
lights on, you know?
it'll use up more than it recharges.
Then it's the alternator.
The fan belt... skids.
Relax, everything went well, OK?
Your wife is fine and so is the baby.
So...
Thank you, doctor.
God bless you.
I'd ask you to please go wait downstairs
in a few minutes.
I let you stay for a while,
it's dangerous now.
- Yes, of course, doctor. Of course.
- Thank you.
It's a boy!
Merry Christmas, doctor.
Nothing, he was doing better and...
all of a sudden, cardiac arrest.
- Excuse me, sir. Can I help you?
- Hi, how are you? Yeah. Good evening,
I'd like one of these please.
- Yes, but that toy's all sold out.
- Serious? I can't believe it.
No, you see, my son, that's the only
thing he asked Santa for.
- Well, we're all out of stock,
not even one left. - Nothing?
What I can offer you is this rifle
that's just come out,
it shoots these ducks that are
projected on a screen,
as the ducks fly by,
if you hit them, they fall.
- Got tons of realism.
- No, no thanks.
- It's got sound. - No, thank you.
- You also got Spiderman.
- What's Spiderman do?
- I don't think he does anything.
- Wait, let me ask my partner here.
- No, it's OK,
I'm looking for this robot that...
Yes, but I've just told you
we're all sold out.
- It releases smoke, the head opens...
- Yes, I know, but it's all sold out.
Any idea where I might get one?
No, it's real hard.
I don't have a clue.
Nothing, what could be wrong?
What's with my voice?
No, hon, nothing's wrong with my voice.
No, nothing's wrong.
I'll be there at ten.
Don't worry, everything's OK.
Absolutely. How could it upset me that
it's just the 3 of us if it was my idea?
It was my idea.
No, not sooner, won't make it.
I haven't gotten Pini's present yet,
can't get it anywhere.
The robot. The one with
the smoke pouring out of his head.
- Hey guys.
- What's up?
People don't have a dime, hu?
People are dead.
These are the dead that buy.
Look at 'em buy.
Give me some candy?
- You only got fruit?
- I got strawberry, coconut.
- No coffee?
- No.
- Sure?
- No!
Then I don't want any, thanks.
- Ram?n D?az is Argentina's best
coach around. - If you say so.
Happy holidays.
Hey, can't we go a little faster?
I'm bushed.
Haven't caught any shut eye in two days.
You'll have to serve me some mate, gimme
some jawing, anything to keep me up...
- I'd drive but I busted my arm.
- No, I'm not sleeping any 'cause...
I got parties, birthdays,
something different every night.
- Lucky thing. - Hey, ain't complaining.
I gotta live this streak to the max.
- I like your show.
- Really?
I think it's crap, pure trash.
But I still do it.
I don't like it, but do it all the same.
It's a living.
I'm trying this other show out,
different, intelligent humor,
social criticism,
touring the private neighborhoods.
Still, what you do is...
Look, I act the clown to stop being one,
do you catch my drift?
I act the clown to stop being one.
- Hey, Jaime, aren't we going a bit slow?
- No, not at all,
you have no idea what a
good grip these tires have.
Besides, I've been driving since I was
ten. I've driven mail delivery vans too.
- I've driven... camiones de caudales.
- Please face the front.
I'm a tiny, tiny, tiny angel,
all the same I will take care of you,
Your Guardian Angel, sweet companion,
day or night you'll never be all alone
Shivery Spring
What is it, "Quiet Beauty"?
Oh, "Shivery Spring", very good piece.
Actually, one of the best novels
I've read lately.
I've read it a few times.
Oh. Where are you...? From...?
This ghost.
Hello.
You'll never guess what I have
in this box.
A kitty? - A kitty, it'd have to be
a tiny one. Let's see...
- Let me see. No, it's not a kitty.
- A doggy?
Oh, maybe.
Let's see.
No, that's not it.
Look, this girl has a bird tattooed
on her shoulder, take a good look,
- That's a seagull.
- It's an albatross.
Oh, OK, an albatross. She used to have
one on the other side, it flew off...
and landed in my box.
So now I have it. You believe me?
Yes.
It's a very good book, it...
the author has like, a naivet? and is at
the same time completely sensitive, right?
No.
Man uses electricity,
knows how to produce it but...
what does he really know about
the origin of the phenomenon?
We don't even know anything
about ourselves. Right?
- Man doesn't know many things.
- How about a drink?
Sit down somewhere to have a drink?
Don't misunderstand me, I...
I'm going the same way you are.
Don't think I'm following you,
or anything...
- If you think...
- I don't think a thing.
Admit you're following me.
- You... what's your name?
- I don't have a name.
Wow, what a good mystery.
Come on... what's your name?
- What? Didn't you like mysteries?
- Yeah, but...
- What do you have in the box?
- Mystery.
I'll tell you my name if you tell me
what you have in the box.
- An albatross. What's your name?
- Albatross.
Thing is, people are real shitty,
you know? The comedian, imitator...
gagman, clown, it's all the same.
'Cause, if they gotta cut someone's
head off, they just cut them all off.
Like Herod, used to cut off kids' heads.
Moses was saved in the nick of time.
- Or was it Christ?
- Hu?
- Moses.
- Right, 'cause Christ...
played Little League soccer,
well, they all wore beards those days.
The craziest thing is that I think up
better clown's stuff every day,
it's real weird, real weird.
- Hey, was this here this morning?
- I don't know.
Murderers!
Cut it out!
What is this?
Beasts!
Learn some respect. Yeah, you! Geek!
Please, mister, do me a favor,
won't you get me out of here? Gimme a
hand, I beg 'ya, I'm truly surrounded.
- Yes, of course. Let's see.
- Yeah, laugh on! Pardon miss,
I didn't mea... you, yeah...
deep-dyed, ya look like a doll.
This is the Argentina we have,
sir.
- They're just kids. - They're kids,
yeah, but they'll grow up sometime.
Afterwards we can't...
this is the country we have.
Woah, pal, Cachoi,
you're busting up my chair.
Yeah, well, Planet Earth isn't a bad place
to be in, quite the contrary,
it's a great place,
the problem here is us...
as the General used to say,
"The more I observe human beings,
the more I love my dogs." We're rushing
along a bit fast for my taste, OK?
Woah, woah, hold it, Cachoi, hold it.
How about if we go sit down somewhere?
- Didn't you say you were on call?
- Yeah, it's true, but...
later I could get away for a while...
enough to get something to drink.
Avermouth, how tasty.
Whoa, hold it, hold it!
Hold it, Cachoi. Let's see, princess,
you pull back.
- All together now. There we go.
- Sorry.
- How tasty, a vermouth.
- No, don't shake it. Don't.
Would you carry it for me, please?
- Sorry.
- Watch it, watch it.
- When you're not used to drivin'
one of these. - Don't shake it.
- Is it a turtle?
- No.
We turn here.
- I go straight ahead.
- Well, me too, I'm going that way.
No, hey, just a few feet, I'm real
close, you won't leave me like this...
But...
Uhh... I... fine. OK.
Well then,
what do you think we should...?
I'll pick you up wherever you say,
it could be fun, we'll go for a drink.
Don't miss up the chance, miss.
Have a vermouth with the fella.
Sorry, just butting in...
- Thirty seven eighty nine.
- Excuse me?
Thirty seven eighty nine along
this road, second floor, apartment "A".
Oh, OK. Great.
Uh, no, better if you keep it. L, would
you give it to me when I come over?
- Sure. See you.
- Bye, so long.
Take the ramp, these are new,
they're well made.
What'd she say,
thirty seven eighty nine?
Nah, two hundred eighty, my place is
on the fifth floor. Real close.
Left or right?
- Left.
- No...
No, no, I don't think so.
But, if we go right we just get
farther from the highway.
But the left doesn't look like a road.
Go there, right there.
...
come on, take the right.
Out of order
It's those kids on the seventh floor,
you know? Open and close, open, close...
bust it all up.
Whatever they touch they bust up.
Well. What's there to be done?
Oh, well, just a matter of waiting.
Someone's bound to show up.
No, no, I stick around for three hours
and someone will carry me up.
- Come on, come.
- OK, I really appreciate it.
Whoa, hold it! Take it easy, easy.
Easy 'cause I'm real heavy and till we
get to the fifth... it's gonna be long.
There we go, yeah, come on, come on.
Piano piano...
"Dress me slowly 'cause I'm in a hurry",
as General Per?n used to say.
I think you'll have to rest up
here a bit,
pal, you ain't gonna make to the
fifth floor even with logistic support.
There we go. I'll give you a fresh
glass of cider once we get upstairs.
- Hi H?ctor. - Hi, how are you?
You're looking pretty!
I used to tutor this girl in maths,
the poor thing,
the father a gambler, was totally broke,
old lady's a slut,
but, boy, did she grow up, hu?
She's cute, ain't she?
OK, OK, there we go. Watch it, hold it,
no rush, is there?
You're so lucky you get carried.
Think he's wanna carry me?
Nobody wants to carry the flag when
the procession's long, Emilia.
Ain't you funny? Happy holidays, H?ctor.
- There's this kinda spicy smell, hu?
- Yeah, maybe.
Poor thing, such as you see her,
but she's got cancer.
Got a tit taken out, takes it so well,
so well, always looking ahead.
Such joy...
she's just dying to live.
Hold it, hold it.
You OK? I can manage on my own.
You'd really have to move to...
a ground floor.
If I don't make it...
Take it easy, we'll be there in an hour,
hour and a half tops.
I got a party
in a couple of hours.
I gotta be there 'cause otherwise,
you know.
- I got an animal routine tonight.
- Awhat routine?
I tell stories about animals,
look like an animal.
- What do you do? How do you do it?
- People just go nuts.
Look. What's this?
A boa.
Aturtle. Pay attention, asshole.
And this?
Blow.
Hey, do you think we're going
in the right direction?
Think maybe I was wrong?
I don't... don't see any cars around.
Why don't you turn back
to the crossroads?
OK, now say: "Flipper's trying
to tell us something, grandpa"
- Say it, come on.
- Flipper's trying to tell us something.
- Grandpa - Flipper's trying
to tell us something, grandpa.
What?
What is it?
I can't believe it.
What happened?
It's a...
What?
So what is it?
These things,
I don't understand one shit.
Check that out, it's not a problem
of the contact that doesn't...
There... check it out with the key.
Does it?
What is it?
We ran out of gas.
Don't you have a membership ID...?
Don't you belong to any of those...?
Wow, look, found myself a smoke.
But, how can you be so calm, brother?
You see there's no one around, nobody
going by, not one car, there's no...
The fact that I take it easy
doesn't mean I gave up.
There are some lights out there.
There should be a gas station.
I'll go get some gas with the container.
- Wait up, I'll go with you.
- Nah, I can't leave the car on its own.
You stay, I'll go.
No, look at what
I'm putting you through, come here!
- Stay, I'll go.
- OK, take some cash. Come on, come.
- It's gonna rain, don't leave me here,
hanging, OK? - I won't leave you.
Buy some sodas, and smokes too,
and matches!
Here it is.
I knew it had to be there somewhere, if
you save stuff, it'll always be there.
Look at the cute little mouse.
Watch him run.
Yes... maybe I didn't make myself clear.
I'm not really looking for a mouse,
what I'm looking for is something else,
a robot. The Miki Master.
It's the one that... well, a robot
that spouts smoke... through the head.
This is it, the Smokuno Miki Master,
kids ask for it a lot,
my son asks for it all the time
because he sees it on TV.
I have them in the basement, but
I have to send my grandson to get it,
if you'd like to come around
in an hour...
- And why don't... why don't you go?
- Because I can't, sir. I'm too tired.
I could put it in the window, when you
come by, if you're still interested...
I don't know, whatever.
If you want to come by,
I'll have him look for it.
We're just like husband and wife
on our first night, don't we, fella?
There we go.
There we are.
Smells like gas.
I'll go get the chair.
Can I get some service here?
Anybody there?
Hello?
Hello!
Anybody there?
Excuse me, are you closed?
Look, I'd need a couple of gallons,
my car's stopped, on the road.
Gas, at least enough to get out
to the highway, where can I get some?
- I'm afraid.
- What
- I'll get you that cider in a minute.
- No, thanks, I'm on my way.
Hey, smells like something's burning.
What's your name?
You're just like me, nuts about smells.
- My name's H?ctor. H?ctor Flota. You?
- Rodolfo.
There we are.
- Here, you deserve it.
- No. Thanks, I'll be on my way.
- Have some nougat.
- No, thanks.
You're gonna turn it down?
Here.
Have some nougat. It's from C?rdoba.
It's real nectar, hu?
How stupid, plants conform themselves
with just water and sunlight.
- This is flat.
- Well, welcome, this is my world.
It's not much, but of what's available,
there's nothing missing, right?
- Why don't you open a window?
It's suffocating in here? - Why?
- Well, I'll be going. - Wow...
Iook at where I come across this,
Been looking for it like crazy. I need
you to do me a little favor later.
You met that chick around here,
right?
I see her every time I do my shopping...
I don't mean to be sour grapes,
but I think the chick's a bit...
Why don't you tell me what you need?
then I can give you a hand,
cause I'm kind of in a hurry.
Seriously, what pleasure do you
find in those casual relationships,
with someone you don't...
with someone you've just met?
All that effort, what's there to talk
about when you've nothing in common?
I mean, if you at least go to bed with
a guy, you can talk about soccer later.
Well, I'm off.
Wait, you wanted to know why
I can't open the window.
- No, it's OK.
- Yeah, feel, feel it.
- Feel it. Come here. That smell.
- Yeah, I catch various odors.
No, smells like an abandoned
church or something.
Know what it is?
The apartment's flooded,
some pipe broke or something.
It's the bats.
They've been here for a year and a half.
A problem in the whole building.
If we were in the United States
we'd file a damn lawsuit,
but here...
Listen, listen, listen to that...
they start coming out about now.
Look.
Sorry.
Look at this.
Let's say this is the typical bat,
right?
You'll see him coming out in a sec.
There... that's the little head here...
the wings.
This is where they placed the nests.
And here's where they lay their young.
Here he's got something like time-share.
And these are the cables they
constantly pee on...
and that bloated the wood up, you know.
Why don't those companies that
specialize in this sort of thing?
they get rig of them in a jiffy with
ultrasound. - Nah! That lasted 15 days.
They were back again in no time. Besides,
they've been shitting here for a year.
There's accumulated dried blood
excrement down there.
'Cause these suckers suck on blood.
Did you know they sucked blood?
- No, they eat bugs... they eat...
- No, no! They suck blood.
The other day one fell off the nest,
was rolling around and I'd throw down
the plastic bag meat comes in,
- You wouldn't believe how he sucked on
that blood, serious. - Well, bye.
Did you know the female bat can keep
the semen for a year...
- And use it whenever she wants to?
- No.
Hey, Cachoi,
you gotta do me that little favor!
ID, police.
ID, boy.
What the...? What...?
Fuck.
ID, please.
Police.
- Could I have your ID, please?
- Yes, what's wrong?
- If you'd be so kind.
- What is it?
Routine.
ID, please.
- What is it?
- Standard procedure.
- What's wrong?
- Public service, pops.
Could I have that ID for a second?
Very kind of you, thanks.
But, my daughter's waiting for me,
can't you call someone else?
- Listen, my daughter's waiting for me.
- No, no problem with that, pops.
Yes there is a problem, because,
besides, I can't be on my feet,
I've got bad circulation.
- Excuse me, where is it we have to go?
- Right across the street,
it's proceedings for Dr. Pescardi...
- How long will it take?
- 5, 3 minutes, how long could it take?
- Could I have my ID back?
- Okay, please come with me?
- Are you Argentinian?
- Yes.
Come with me.
- ? Well Olivera? - These gentlemen are the
witnesses, and this is Subinspector Cueto.
- Do you have the IDs? - You should never
leave home without them.
Look, officer, excuse me...
I'm all for cooperating with you guys,
I'd love to help out. Thing is, it's a
bit late for me, I still have to...
We are carrying out proceedings
in this apartment,
which belongs to a person called Britos,
this man is a delinquent, con artist,
ouch! He is now in prison, we are trying
to carry out a search...
to see if we find anything inside. It's
important that we do find something.
Is that clear?
Huh? Got it?
- Hey, isn't there anything else we can
use? -Aguilera, go check in the car...
- See if there is anything.
- Yes, you get me?
Yes, let's see if there's a...
- What are you, cops?
- Any idea who might have the key?
Nah... I can see the future.
I was talking to my mom just yesterday,
told her, how come they haven't come
search this apartment yet?
You were bound to come here
sooner or later, for sure.
Been living here for 28 years, in this
neighborhood, right? Been here for 14,
in this apartment, wait, this here used
to be a classy building,
but they scrimp on the condo fees,
so, what can you expect?
You guys are always too late. You come
in when the widow's already married.
Yo, it was a joke.
Manaciano, Alfredo.
What I got that might help is a
metal cutting hammer, there.
- Okay, go get it.
- How's it going, alright?
You guys do your job, right?
Good thing, my God, 'cause this guy,
the screaming, I can't...
I can't say anything, I'm like...
This guy had this thing, you know?
There's this something you feel... A...
Could you get us that metal cutter?
Excuse me, officer,
this man's not feeling well.
I tell you, this man's not feeling well,
seriously, he's got to go.
Easy kid, it's just a few minutes.
No, I'm telling you, he can't stay, if
the door's not open in five minutes...
he's gotta go, he can't stay.
Okay. I'll be on my way.
No, wait, you gotta do me
another little favor.
See that little box there, it's food
for the fish, could you feed him?
But... you can...
Come on, last one, come on.
The poor thing. He's awful lonely.
I should get him a mate.
He's so cute. The fins look like wings,
look at him go.
You gotta change the water, it's too
dirty. They're very delicate, he could-
That's it, delicate, that's the word!
You got delicate hands.
Artist's hands. - You know what?
Everything's a bit dirty, your house too.
What do you do?
You should clean up a bit,
pay attention to your appearance...
- Get a shave, get yourself a girlfriend.
- Girlfriend? Stop!
Don't feed him anymore.
Girlfriend? I suffered
a great disappointment, you know?
You understand, don't you?
Yeah, sure, you're just like me.
The world is going real cheap on us,
Cachoi. There's no real nobility.
We get to the Windsor Palace,
we rip off the silver spoons,
but the majority goes nuts
over the detergent.
- Where are the men?
- Huh?
The Little Prince asked.
"I feel all alone in the desert."
"You can also feel alone amongst men",
answered the snake.
"What a weird animal,
you have no legs".
"Fine as a finger. But as powerful as
the finger of a king," said the snake.
My girlfriend, used to read me
"The Little Prince."
Well, H?ctor, I'll be off... I gotta get
going, man. A pleasure. Honestly.
- Happy holidays, maybe one day...
- May I? - What?
You... you're around people that suffer,
right? You like doing things for people.
Sensitive, affectionate.
Very passionate.
But you get discouraged very easily, and
you're very lonely, have been for long.
You've been alone for a long time.
Narrow phalanx... refined.
You had so many different talents,
and didn't pay any attention to them.
- What happened?
- I don't know.
Did you let yourself go?
Too bad.
You're scared.
You're scared of those who suffer.
Let's see... the texture.
- You'll soon be getting a surprise.
- I gotta go.
Wait, just another little favor,
I gotta go to the john now.
No, H?ctor, I'm sorry, I have to go,
I'm already late, I can't stay.
- Otherwise, I'd love to.
- You're a diamond, Cachoi.
Have a good time, man.
Happy holidays.
- Ouch, monkeyfucking asshole!
- Be careful.
Pisses me off, hitting myself like that,
I get so pissed off I could kill myself.
Thing is, this was done,
architect who did the Barolo passage,
and these are all,
these French locks.
- Who are you?
- It's me, grandma, Fredi.
- The police, granny.
- Thank god.
- OK, OK... okay, Aguilera.
- Almost there.
Are you alright, Aguilera?
You two, come along.
The machine, please.
Come along, easy,
we'll be out of here in five minutes.
Wow, look at how the son of a bitch
lived. Just look at this son of a bitch.
That's all acrylic.
Sir,
sir!
Good evening, excuse me. Look,
our car's stopped right near by,
- I need a little gas.
- You're the guy who had a little girl.
No, no, I'm not from this
company. I'm an outsider.
We were on our way to Buenos Aires.
What's that?
- What is that?
- What?
It's 'cause of the static.
Come with us.
Careful.
- ?So Starosta?
- Nothing!
What a cynical son of a bitch, this
is Miami and this is Brito's chick.
- If I get my hands on this one.
- The chick's a real slut.
These orgiastic parties took place here,
till six in the morning...
they once started dancing lambada,
when that was fashionable,
I had to go after them with a squirt gun,
fucking blasted them.
Watch it, I mean slutty.
And she reeked of dope.
You get in the elevator and feel
the smell on this chick...
and the chick smells of dope, not that
I know dope, right?
well, somehow I did, we got this
cousin with a little problem...
- I say we because...
- Officer... officer.
...he later became a cop.
- Excuse me, officer, I'd have to leave.
I can't stay any longer,
it's getting late.
I gotta go by a toy store, still
gotta pick up a present for my kid,
and this gentleman too, his family's
waiting for him. Could we? I gotta go.
And you think I was born
out of an incubator?
I got family too,
I also wanna be at home,
get it?
Nevertheless I am here cleaning up
everybody else's shit.
I too want to be home having some cider.
Do you understand?
The police works around the clock.
This...
this is what drug addicts use
in North America,
they get stoned and stare at this
for an hour or two, a vase, a flower...
vice.
Mister Burgos, please report
to platform number three.
See that door over there?
Go in and tell Mr. Burgos
to get you some gas.
But, what should I say?
Tell him I sent you.
To give you some gas, tell him.
Which door?
Mister Burgos!
Burgos!
SECURITY RELATED SYSTEMS
Mister!
Burgos!
Mister Burgos!
- Hello.
- Hello, what's up?
I came down to get you, came to tell you
the intercom's not working.
Oh, right... I.
And this guy?
- That's Arthur.
- Hello Arthur.
I love boxers.
This one's striped.
- Well...
- Want me to get your box?
Okay. And, are we...
will we go somewhere?
Okay.
- Let's go, inside.
- Okay.
- Let's go, Arthur.
- Oh.
Okay... come in, come on in, same thing.
- Hello, baby.
- Oh, and this guy? Who's this?
That's Fito. Love of my life.
Come on in, give me a minute.
Sir!
Gasoline!
Here, we... our car stopped here!
Could I please have some gas?
I'd be glad to, but I got gas oil,
that's the thing.
- Ready back there?
- Wait up, Hugo Luis taking a piss.
Which way are you headed?
- No, I'm... I'm going to Buenos Aires.
- Me too.
There's a gas station
about 10 miles from here.
You can get some gas and then
get a ride back.
- Sorry, you got a smoke?
- No.
Are you... Bolivian?
They're Bolivian, I'm Marplatense.
From Mar del Plata.
Check it out.
But, what are you doing with that?
But, who knows where that's been,
what are you doing? Take that off.
Pops, what's your last name?
Estene... Estana...
Stanoievich.
- What origin is that?
- Serbia. - Holy moly!
I think there might be another way
to do things... I mean.
- How's that? - I'm just thinking.
- Why do you say that?
Well, what if this guy's maybe hiding
some swags?
- What swags?
- Jewels, stuff... jewelry, checks...
And... what could happen?
We're all friends here.
- Yeah.
- We're all friends here, right?
You know why I say this?
Cause it'd be a real shame, you know?
Well, yes. Yes, it'd be a shame.
- The man here understands me.
- So?
So it'd be a shame for all these things
to go to waste, don't you think?
No problem by me.
No problem with me either.
- Besides, this guy...
- No, this guy... this guy's a thief.
I can tell you now that all the things
you'll find here are looted.
- So, any of you got a problem?
- Me? What problem could I have with it?
If you don't have a problem,
I'm at your service.
Didn't you see some nice suits around?
Real nice, too. Italian silk.
No, no, count me out, hu.
No, I don't agree to this.
Sorry, but I just don't agree.
Let's go into the bedroom where there's
tons of things. No, sir. It's not legal.
Officer, you know perfectly well
that this isn't legal, you know it.
- Here's your box.
- Thanks.
- Would you like something to drink?
- Okay.
- I got tea, coffee, some wine?
- Yes, please.
- Yes please, what?
- Wine.
Fito!
Did you see what he's doing?
Come, Fito. Fito!
- I gotta tell you something later.
- Okay.
- ?Arthur!
- No, leave him.
Come along, always bothering the guests.
- Hello.
- Hello.
My name's Laura.
What's in the box?
It's a... the box is a present
for a little kid.
But, what's in it?
It's a present. Need I say more?
Aspirin.
- Do you have plans for Christmas Eve?
- No.
You know what I had to tell you?
I saw you the other day,
well, I'd already seen you.
I saw you the other day at the bar
across the street from the hospital.
You were very handsome all dressed up
like a doctor. You looked very formal.
Hi, this is Laura...
Whoa, whoa, whoa, I'm coming!
Hang on, wait up!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
- I need to use the restroom.
In winter this is like a little poncho,
perfect for riding my motorbike.
Try the shoe on.
Is there any chance I could maybe take
the silk shorts?
- This? It's too small for you.
- Well, may be small now.
Otherwise, I'll sell it.
Silk is silk.
I gotta stop fucking around
and lose this potbelly.
Here, too small for me.
No, there's this old lady here that
massages you, takes out all your fluids.
She gives you this massage
and moves all your jejunum around.
You know, you shit
like mad.
Do it once and you're reborn.
Aguilera, Aguilera, what are you doing?
not that.
Don't take pictures here.
Gimme that camera.
Aguilera, don't keep the perfumes, hu?
Put em all right here.
- Look at these rags. - Is there any
chance I could take the bedspread?
If I take the bedspread to my mom,
she'll die. - Yeah, go ahead.
Not that I want her to die...
but... the bedspread...
Son of a bitch, he's got a damn helm.
Officer... officer.
Days like these you realize we really
are 70% water.
Yeah, I wanted to say it seems...
it's enough, you know, we did our part.
More than that... but if, if you need
two witnesses, I wanted to suggest...
that the neighbor and I stay on,
but that we let the gentleman go...
he is an older man and, evidently,
he's not feeling well. - You're right.
- What do you to?
- Me? Odontologist.
- Dental mechanic.
- Dentist.
So, I don't really understand
what we're still doing here.
I imagine there's people you want to see
in your practice and people you don't.
People whose rotten mouths you don't
wanna stick your hands in,
poking around in all that rot, hu?
This is the stuff I don't really like.
Honest,
I don't like this one bit.
I got a different opinion on this.
But every job, everything has its
good side and its bad side.
In my case, if I don't like something,
I just don't do it.
I got a bullet in my
spinal column.
But hey, somebody's gotta do it.
In life, we do more things we don't
like than things we do.
Get it?
Sure, it'd be much better for you to
have to see a hot chick's mouth,
right?
This chick you touch here and there,
you pet a little if you can,
touch her... put your hand here,
stick your hand there.
But you're the respected doctor.
How are you, sir? This and that.
But, what do they know? What do they
know you're not really thinking:
"Why don't you just go fuck yourself?"
See how it works? Somebody's gotta
stick their hand in the muck, you too.
We're here to clean up all the shit.
No, well, actually, no, I can't say
I agree with that.
With these hands, I've done such
things, I really...
tell you the truth... I sometimes
think it wasn't me, you know.
If I were to tell you...
what's your name?
Uhh, I'm Julio DeBiasi.
If I were to tell you, Julito,
all the things I've done.
But then, you get used to it.
I once wanted to get away from this,
open up a grill. Didn't work out either.
Well, the important thing is not to give
up, to never give up the joy of living.
Never kill that
child we carry inside.
What?
What are you looking at?
The neck, my neck's killing me.
?Fito?
Fito.
The road, that carries us
into Christmastime,
- Is a star, it illuminates us
- Can I borrow your phone for a sec?
let's drive down the road,
to Christmas...
if the star will light my way
I got to make it there
Hello, hello. It's me, Juanchi.
Well, I'm on my way to the airport
'cause in the end I do have to travel...
since I had a little time, I wanted to
come by and see you. You there, Laura?
Look, I'll only be out for a week,
then I'm coming back.
But, l, uh, would like to talk.
I think it's worth it, right?
Three months is a long time.
And I... miss you so much,
I love you so much.
I'm willing to change.
What am I saying? I already did!
I'm taller... I grew...
- ?Laura?
- Yes, be right out.
- Thought you were gone.
- No, I was right here.
- Want something to drink?
- No, thanks a lot.
Sorry I had to use the bathroom,
I'm... well...
No, don't worry.
Laura, I wanted to say something
that l, can't...
don't know how to tell you.
- I'm totally...
- I love it that you're so shy.
This is amazing, really amazing.
I should call home, at least talk
to my wife, let her know,
but, she won't understand anything.
I still have to get my medicine,
and then go on to Palomar.
Well, you can take a cab to
get to Palomar.
With what money?
Will you pay for the medicine?
Well, I have to go out West,
If you want, I can give you a lift.
I'm such a freaking asshole.
I should've gone on walking.
- Do you fell okay?
- It's too hot here.
Okay, take it easy, we'll leave here
together, I'll drive you.
- Are you okay?
- Laura, I'd have to...
Uh... I don't have any condoms,
I gotta go get some.
Take the keys,
the intercom's not working.
Boy do I like 3-D pictures,
don't you?
and if it's babes, better.
And naked, better yet.
This perfume here's an aphrodisiac
'cause it's made out of monkey's semen.
- Did you know that...
- Sorry, this gentleman here needs...
to make a call and talk to his daughter,
let her know he's here.
- Call from here.
they do sexual tourism.
- So they use this perfume...
- Better if we don't call my daughter.
And this stuff they make with drugs...
No, no! 'cause I gotta take this
...the bedspread.
Since you're not doing anything, pops,
why don't you go get a soda? A Coke.
No it's okay, I'll go.
I'll go get the Coke.
- We can't let him go alone.
- Could we get an orange Fanta?
- Come on, come're, try this on.
- No, I don't want to.
- Try this on, don't be scared.
- Don't be shy...
things sometimes work out like that,
take 'em.
- I like how it looks on you.
- Looks good.
Looking good.
- Let's see.
- No! Why?
Why?
- Why?
- Don't be greedy.
It's not that I don't wanna give you,
thing is I wanted it 'cause...
I wanna go jogging with...
I can't lose weight 'cause I gotta jog,
I run with this on,
listen to the radio
and time just goes by,
I get bored jogging, you see?
No, he's keeping it.
I don't... I don't want anything.
I don't want anything that's not mine.
- There we go.
- Okay.
- I'll go get it.
- Excuse me.
Britos!
Britos!
No, 'cause maybe it's one of the guys
come looking for the dude.
- Go on, go on.
- No...
Why do I gotta go?
How the fuck should I know who it is?
No...
- What's up, Platense fan?
- What are you doing here, Fredi?
Uhh... I... uh...
Any idea whether the cable guys came by?
No, these guys aren't it... no.
What do you want cable for?
to see the goal get
loaded with cucumbers?
Why don't you join some club
and start rooting for them?
- What's up, Fredi?
- What's up with what?
There, the door?
This guy had a nervous breakdown, see?
Got himself locked up,
wanted to slit his wrists, we're keeping
an eye on him, guy was doing real bad.
We had to call a locksmith.
His car was stolen with his dog inside,
you know? And the guy couldn't take it.
What dog? Britos doesn't have a dog.
That's it, if he doesn't have a dog,
there's the problem, right?
Not everybody can spend Christmas with
the folks, like we can, that love 'em,
truth is, well, gotta go, okay,
Merry Christmas.
Happy hollidays, bye.
Let's go.
No, ten minutes, in twenty five minutes
I got a truck here, take it all,
it's a shame, who's gonna take all this?
Twenty five minutes is all I ask,
half an hour, we take it all...
leave it all next door and then
you guys can come back for it.
The following signatures,
that is, yours and the old man's,
of their own free will,
make an appearance...
declare to be Argentinian...
sign here.
- Babe, this is mine.
- Okay, I think it's fair.
If you happen to find the bedspread,
maybe in some bag...
check it out later...
- Hey, where's the old man?
- Should be downstairs.
- Get a move on.
- Do you have my ID?
Aguilera!
Turn off the lights, and don't forget
to close the door and cordon off the area.
- Are you alright, sir?
- Would you like a glass of water?
- Better?
- Doesn't seem like it.
- Wasn't there any Coke?
- What is it?
- You need anything, sir?
- What happened?
- Are you together, sir?
- Yes, he's with me.
Well, he wasn't feeling well, maybe
the heat made his blood pressure go up.
Easy.
It's okay, okay. I'm in charge.
- Okay. What is it, pops?
- He almost fell.
Are you on some kind of medication?
Fuck. Lets see, get up a bit.
No, let's let him catch his breath,
some air might do him good.
Aguilera, got the keys to the car?
So, how's it going, old man?
How's it going? Easy, we're almost there.
- Turn here?
- Go on, straight ahead.
You know... you know I also gotta
go in for a check up,
I get these pains here in the chest,
I don't know... real painful... serious,
- Don't know what is could be.
- Could be gases. Watch it.
Grandpa, you gotta sign here, almost
forgot, let's not screw it up
Let's go.
There's an old saying that goes:
"Witnesses are the eyes of justice."
Well done, grandpa.
Excuse me, any idea whether
the doctor is in there?
- You gotta knock and wait.
- Yeah, but, is...?
Are you alright?
want to call your daughter?
Sorry...
Yes, I'm here with an emergency,
do you, do you know where I might
find a doctor because I can't find...?
Are you waiting for a doctor?
You know where... where I can...?
Excuse me, could you tell me
where I can find a doctor, please?
- I'll find a doctor in a minute, okay?
- Relax...
they'll come. Take it easy.
- Are you feeling okay?
- Yes, I'm okay now. I feel better.
But, you, go on home,
go on to your family and celebrate.
Go celebrate.
- Are you sure you're feeling alright?
- Yes.
Bye, my man, happy holidays.
You forgot something, Julio.
This here's yours.
Remember our conversation, never forget
the joy of living. Bye... good luck!
Come on! Come on, start it up.
Yeah, come on.
No, wait, wait up, you'll flood it...
Whoa, whoa...
- Let's see?
- You do it, man.
- No, hold it, hold it.
- So, you come and do it.
Are they open?
- Thought I saw someone inside.
- Yeah.
Walking towards us, right?
- Oh, well... that's it.
- Too bad.
- Gotta be patient.
- It is kinda late.
Come on, come on.
Get on, boy.
Silent night,
Holy night
All is calm,
all is bright
'Round yon virgin
Mother and Child
Holy infant
so tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly peace...
Relax, everything went well, OK?
Your wife is fine and so is the baby.
So...
Thank you, doctor. God bless you.
I'd ask you to please go wait downstairs
in a few minutes.
I let you stay for a while,
it's dangerous now.
- Yes, of course, doctor. Of course.
- Thank you.
It's a boy!
Merry Christmas, doctor.
Nothing, he was doing better and...
all of a sudden, cardiac arrest.
Heav'nly hosts
sing Alleluia
Christ the savior is born
Christ the savior is born
Silent night,
Holy night
Son of God,
love's pure light...
- Ready to run?
- Yeah, everything's cool.
Come on... run.
Come on... come on?
Radiant beams from
Thy holy face
With the dawn of
redeeming grace
Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth...
Well, almost midnight all over the
country, everybody's got a glass...
watch it with the alcohol, don't
overdo it, huh? It's Christmastime.
Well, to you, Mom...
to Mary... Ruben,
well, for a better world.
Flipper's trying to tell us something,
grandpa.
on my wife the other day.
Cut up all her credit cards.
Doctor, doctor.
Come on kids, closer together.
Right, that's it, there... OK.
Grandma... Granny, give us a smile,
Granny... look over... there, there we go.
Yeah, get down!
Louder!
Let's hear it!
When my Grandma turned sixty...
the doctor advised her to walk
2 miles a day...
she's now ninety
and we can't find her.
OK.
Daniela... where's Daniela?
I see 'ya.
Emilio, your uncle,
came all the way from Buenos Aires...
to dedicate this song to you.
Emilio, come on up.
Emilio!
Jaime says goodnight to you all,
see you the next Bat Mitzvah.
Daniela, baby, with all my heart,
this song's just for you.
Juanchi.
Juanchi.
I'd stay but I have to be at the airport
two hours before the flight.
It's OK, OK.
Don't worry.
Dani, this one's for you,
with all my heart.
And to you, Juan.
You're off the hook 'cause of your arm,
otherwise you'd be out here dancing.
And to all Rosario, to the musicians,
to you all.
Dani...
- Should we sit him down there?
- Don't put him there, it's all pissed.
OK, there.
- This guy sure is heavy, man.
- On the floor.
There we go... watch the head.
Don't worry...
Raise his legs.
Let's see, up we go... up, up...
There we are.
Can't go so far.
- Did you eat anything?
- No, nothing.
Bring a potato knish.
No, what he needs is
something strong to drink.
Or some coffee, some...
How about we keep quiet for a while,
just relax a bit...
I couldn't hold it in any longer.
I was grinding on my false teeth.
- What's up, Jaime?
- What's up, Chubby?
How you been?
Hey, long time no see.
Well, been at least thirty pounds.
Son of a gun, you never change.
Hey, did you meet Zipora?
Jaime, Juancho Zipora.
What's up?
Hey, Emilio, we could get a move on, hu?
No, man. We said we'd leave
an hour and a half from now.
I know, but I gotta go home and get
my suitcase before going to the airport.
- But we already knew that, Juan.
- Yeah, but something's come up, Emilio.
Listen to what I'm saying.
Do you get it?
Yes, but we said we'd leave
an hour and a half from now.
Yes, I know we said an hour and a half,
but I am asking, as a favor,
because something's come up... now.
- Yeah, I also have something to do now.
- And what if I miss my flight?
No, no, serious,
what if there's a traffic jam?
Juan, what can I say? We said we'd
leave an hour and a half from now,
so what I say is, OK, let's leave
an hour and a half from now.
I'm asking you, please,
I need to get go Buenos Aires, now.
I'm on my way to Buenos Aires,
if you want, I'll give you a lift.
There we go, Jaime'll drive you. Good.
- But, are you leaving right away?
- Right away, no.
I gotta wait till I get paid,
then we're off.
- Thought we were losing him.
- Better?
- Want me to drive you home?
- I think he still looks a little pale.
But you said you had limos available,
why do you suddenly say you don't?
Yes, to Buenos Aires...
I told you already!
I know it's a holid... So what?
There are also emergencies on this date,
man... come on... It doesn't take...
on the highway it's three hours.
Look, if a driver had already picked me
up, we'd have gone and...
he'd already be back to spend Christmas
Eve with his... How much is it?
But I already told you that money
is no concern! I'll pay for it.
Listen, I've got an emergency too.
I've got to get to Buenos Aires,
I've a plane to catch,
I can't be... I can't wait...
I can't wait for an hour,
I'd go with someone who's also going,
listen, do you have a car?
Well, look, I'm on C?rdoba street and...
Juan Manuel de... at the Monument
to the Flag. Yes, where...
No, I am not putting you on.
And who's driving me?
Hu? Who'll drive me?
Hello?
Hello!
Let's not spoil the fun, OK?
A big hug to the "Mother Goose"
family from Ramallo...
There's Rabbi Goldstein playing
this week's top song,
let's play this...
it fits like a glove.
Total crap, man. Hey, we got everything
for drinking some "mates" later, OK?
Sure, why not? I got a mate, holly,
thermos, all back here, look.
There's also a sandwich in the
glove compartment. You can have it.
- Tired, right?
- No, not tired. Stuff.
- Stuff.
- Stuff.
That girl, the one was watching you.
That then left with another guy.
- Hu?
- A nice looking girl.
Well, holidays stink, you know?
You get stimuli from all quarters.
- Right.
- Well, yeah.
And relationships... well.
Gotta take it easy.
- Then things happen.
- Sure.
Matters of the heart.
Or of this one here, that demands and
demands and doesn't ever stop.
Thing is... I miss her.
So, we'll go back. We turn back.
Hit reverse and go back.
A nice girl.
If I were you...
- Got any smokes?
- No, I don't smoke.
Then get off.
I'm fooling with 'ya.
So you'll change that look on your face,
come on, no long face.
But we gotta get some, OK?
We gotta get some soon 'cause
I'll die if I don't have a smoke.
I'll die of cancer.
Well, grandpa, better?
We're trying to get a hold
of your daughter. You just take it easy.
Sorry,
even if it were the starter and I
put my battery, it'd be the same.
- Then, the bendix.
- The bendix?
Yeah. The way you left it you should've
gotten some fuel, get it?
It's a good battery. I don't get it.
Now, you use it at night,
lights on, you know?
it'll use up more than it recharges.
Then it's the alternator.
The fan belt... skids.
Relax, everything went well, OK?
Your wife is fine and so is the baby.
So...
Thank you, doctor.
God bless you.
I'd ask you to please go wait downstairs
in a few minutes.
I let you stay for a while,
it's dangerous now.
- Yes, of course, doctor. Of course.
- Thank you.
It's a boy!
Merry Christmas, doctor.
Nothing, he was doing better and...
all of a sudden, cardiac arrest.
- Excuse me, sir. Can I help you?
- Hi, how are you? Yeah. Good evening,
I'd like one of these please.
- Yes, but that toy's all sold out.
- Serious? I can't believe it.
No, you see, my son, that's the only
thing he asked Santa for.
- Well, we're all out of stock,
not even one left. - Nothing?
What I can offer you is this rifle
that's just come out,
it shoots these ducks that are
projected on a screen,
as the ducks fly by,
if you hit them, they fall.
- Got tons of realism.
- No, no thanks.
- It's got sound. - No, thank you.
- You also got Spiderman.
- What's Spiderman do?
- I don't think he does anything.
- Wait, let me ask my partner here.
- No, it's OK,
I'm looking for this robot that...
Yes, but I've just told you
we're all sold out.
- It releases smoke, the head opens...
- Yes, I know, but it's all sold out.
Any idea where I might get one?
No, it's real hard.
I don't have a clue.
Nothing, what could be wrong?
What's with my voice?
No, hon, nothing's wrong with my voice.
No, nothing's wrong.
I'll be there at ten.
Don't worry, everything's OK.
Absolutely. How could it upset me that
it's just the 3 of us if it was my idea?
It was my idea.
No, not sooner, won't make it.
I haven't gotten Pini's present yet,
can't get it anywhere.
The robot. The one with
the smoke pouring out of his head.
- Hey guys.
- What's up?
People don't have a dime, hu?
People are dead.
These are the dead that buy.
Look at 'em buy.
Give me some candy?
- You only got fruit?
- I got strawberry, coconut.
- No coffee?
- No.
- Sure?
- No!
Then I don't want any, thanks.
- Ram?n D?az is Argentina's best
coach around. - If you say so.
Happy holidays.
Hey, can't we go a little faster?
I'm bushed.
Haven't caught any shut eye in two days.
You'll have to serve me some mate, gimme
some jawing, anything to keep me up...
- I'd drive but I busted my arm.
- No, I'm not sleeping any 'cause...
I got parties, birthdays,
something different every night.
- Lucky thing. - Hey, ain't complaining.
I gotta live this streak to the max.
- I like your show.
- Really?
I think it's crap, pure trash.
But I still do it.
I don't like it, but do it all the same.
It's a living.
I'm trying this other show out,
different, intelligent humor,
social criticism,
touring the private neighborhoods.
Still, what you do is...
Look, I act the clown to stop being one,
do you catch my drift?
I act the clown to stop being one.
- Hey, Jaime, aren't we going a bit slow?
- No, not at all,
you have no idea what a
good grip these tires have.
Besides, I've been driving since I was
ten. I've driven mail delivery vans too.
- I've driven... camiones de caudales.
- Please face the front.
I'm a tiny, tiny, tiny angel,
all the same I will take care of you,
Your Guardian Angel, sweet companion,
day or night you'll never be all alone
Shivery Spring
What is it, "Quiet Beauty"?
Oh, "Shivery Spring", very good piece.
Actually, one of the best novels
I've read lately.
I've read it a few times.
Oh. Where are you...? From...?
This ghost.
Hello.
You'll never guess what I have
in this box.
A kitty? - A kitty, it'd have to be
a tiny one. Let's see...
- Let me see. No, it's not a kitty.
- A doggy?
Oh, maybe.
Let's see.
No, that's not it.
Look, this girl has a bird tattooed
on her shoulder, take a good look,
- That's a seagull.
- It's an albatross.
Oh, OK, an albatross. She used to have
one on the other side, it flew off...
and landed in my box.
So now I have it. You believe me?
Yes.
It's a very good book, it...
the author has like, a naivet? and is at
the same time completely sensitive, right?
No.
Man uses electricity,
knows how to produce it but...
what does he really know about
the origin of the phenomenon?
We don't even know anything
about ourselves. Right?
- Man doesn't know many things.
- How about a drink?
Sit down somewhere to have a drink?
Don't misunderstand me, I...
I'm going the same way you are.
Don't think I'm following you,
or anything...
- If you think...
- I don't think a thing.
Admit you're following me.
- You... what's your name?
- I don't have a name.
Wow, what a good mystery.
Come on... what's your name?
- What? Didn't you like mysteries?
- Yeah, but...
- What do you have in the box?
- Mystery.
I'll tell you my name if you tell me
what you have in the box.
- An albatross. What's your name?
- Albatross.
Thing is, people are real shitty,
you know? The comedian, imitator...
gagman, clown, it's all the same.
'Cause, if they gotta cut someone's
head off, they just cut them all off.
Like Herod, used to cut off kids' heads.
Moses was saved in the nick of time.
- Or was it Christ?
- Hu?
- Moses.
- Right, 'cause Christ...
played Little League soccer,
well, they all wore beards those days.
The craziest thing is that I think up
better clown's stuff every day,
it's real weird, real weird.
- Hey, was this here this morning?
- I don't know.
Murderers!
Cut it out!
What is this?
Beasts!
Learn some respect. Yeah, you! Geek!
Please, mister, do me a favor,
won't you get me out of here? Gimme a
hand, I beg 'ya, I'm truly surrounded.
- Yes, of course. Let's see.
- Yeah, laugh on! Pardon miss,
I didn't mea... you, yeah...
deep-dyed, ya look like a doll.
This is the Argentina we have,
sir.
- They're just kids. - They're kids,
yeah, but they'll grow up sometime.
Afterwards we can't...
this is the country we have.
Woah, pal, Cachoi,
you're busting up my chair.
Yeah, well, Planet Earth isn't a bad place
to be in, quite the contrary,
it's a great place,
the problem here is us...
as the General used to say,
"The more I observe human beings,
the more I love my dogs." We're rushing
along a bit fast for my taste, OK?
Woah, woah, hold it, Cachoi, hold it.
How about if we go sit down somewhere?
- Didn't you say you were on call?
- Yeah, it's true, but...
later I could get away for a while...
enough to get something to drink.
Avermouth, how tasty.
Whoa, hold it, hold it!
Hold it, Cachoi. Let's see, princess,
you pull back.
- All together now. There we go.
- Sorry.
- How tasty, a vermouth.
- No, don't shake it. Don't.
Would you carry it for me, please?
- Sorry.
- Watch it, watch it.
- When you're not used to drivin'
one of these. - Don't shake it.
- Is it a turtle?
- No.
We turn here.
- I go straight ahead.
- Well, me too, I'm going that way.
No, hey, just a few feet, I'm real
close, you won't leave me like this...
But...
Uhh... I... fine. OK.
Well then,
what do you think we should...?
I'll pick you up wherever you say,
it could be fun, we'll go for a drink.
Don't miss up the chance, miss.
Have a vermouth with the fella.
Sorry, just butting in...
- Thirty seven eighty nine.
- Excuse me?
Thirty seven eighty nine along
this road, second floor, apartment "A".
Oh, OK. Great.
Uh, no, better if you keep it. L, would
you give it to me when I come over?
- Sure. See you.
- Bye, so long.
Take the ramp, these are new,
they're well made.
What'd she say,
thirty seven eighty nine?
Nah, two hundred eighty, my place is
on the fifth floor. Real close.
Left or right?
- Left.
- No...
No, no, I don't think so.
But, if we go right we just get
farther from the highway.
But the left doesn't look like a road.
Go there, right there.
...
come on, take the right.
Out of order
It's those kids on the seventh floor,
you know? Open and close, open, close...
bust it all up.
Whatever they touch they bust up.
Well. What's there to be done?
Oh, well, just a matter of waiting.
Someone's bound to show up.
No, no, I stick around for three hours
and someone will carry me up.
- Come on, come.
- OK, I really appreciate it.
Whoa, hold it! Take it easy, easy.
Easy 'cause I'm real heavy and till we
get to the fifth... it's gonna be long.
There we go, yeah, come on, come on.
Piano piano...
"Dress me slowly 'cause I'm in a hurry",
as General Per?n used to say.
I think you'll have to rest up
here a bit,
pal, you ain't gonna make to the
fifth floor even with logistic support.
There we go. I'll give you a fresh
glass of cider once we get upstairs.
- Hi H?ctor. - Hi, how are you?
You're looking pretty!
I used to tutor this girl in maths,
the poor thing,
the father a gambler, was totally broke,
old lady's a slut,
but, boy, did she grow up, hu?
She's cute, ain't she?
OK, OK, there we go. Watch it, hold it,
no rush, is there?
You're so lucky you get carried.
Think he's wanna carry me?
Nobody wants to carry the flag when
the procession's long, Emilia.
Ain't you funny? Happy holidays, H?ctor.
- There's this kinda spicy smell, hu?
- Yeah, maybe.
Poor thing, such as you see her,
but she's got cancer.
Got a tit taken out, takes it so well,
so well, always looking ahead.
Such joy...
she's just dying to live.
Hold it, hold it.
You OK? I can manage on my own.
You'd really have to move to...
a ground floor.
If I don't make it...
Take it easy, we'll be there in an hour,
hour and a half tops.
I got a party
in a couple of hours.
I gotta be there 'cause otherwise,
you know.
- I got an animal routine tonight.
- Awhat routine?
I tell stories about animals,
look like an animal.
- What do you do? How do you do it?
- People just go nuts.
Look. What's this?
A boa.
Aturtle. Pay attention, asshole.
And this?
Blow.
Hey, do you think we're going
in the right direction?
Think maybe I was wrong?
I don't... don't see any cars around.
Why don't you turn back
to the crossroads?
OK, now say: "Flipper's trying
to tell us something, grandpa"
- Say it, come on.
- Flipper's trying to tell us something.
- Grandpa - Flipper's trying
to tell us something, grandpa.
What?
What is it?
I can't believe it.
What happened?
It's a...
What?
So what is it?
These things,
I don't understand one shit.
Check that out, it's not a problem
of the contact that doesn't...
There... check it out with the key.
Does it?
What is it?
We ran out of gas.
Don't you have a membership ID...?
Don't you belong to any of those...?
Wow, look, found myself a smoke.
But, how can you be so calm, brother?
You see there's no one around, nobody
going by, not one car, there's no...
The fact that I take it easy
doesn't mean I gave up.
There are some lights out there.
There should be a gas station.
I'll go get some gas with the container.
- Wait up, I'll go with you.
- Nah, I can't leave the car on its own.
You stay, I'll go.
No, look at what
I'm putting you through, come here!
- Stay, I'll go.
- OK, take some cash. Come on, come.
- It's gonna rain, don't leave me here,
hanging, OK? - I won't leave you.
Buy some sodas, and smokes too,
and matches!
Here it is.
I knew it had to be there somewhere, if
you save stuff, it'll always be there.
Look at the cute little mouse.
Watch him run.
Yes... maybe I didn't make myself clear.
I'm not really looking for a mouse,
what I'm looking for is something else,
a robot. The Miki Master.
It's the one that... well, a robot
that spouts smoke... through the head.
This is it, the Smokuno Miki Master,
kids ask for it a lot,
my son asks for it all the time
because he sees it on TV.
I have them in the basement, but
I have to send my grandson to get it,
if you'd like to come around
in an hour...
- And why don't... why don't you go?
- Because I can't, sir. I'm too tired.
I could put it in the window, when you
come by, if you're still interested...
I don't know, whatever.
If you want to come by,
I'll have him look for it.
We're just like husband and wife
on our first night, don't we, fella?
There we go.
There we are.
Smells like gas.
I'll go get the chair.
Can I get some service here?
Anybody there?
Hello?
Hello!
Anybody there?
Excuse me, are you closed?
Look, I'd need a couple of gallons,
my car's stopped, on the road.
Gas, at least enough to get out
to the highway, where can I get some?
- I'm afraid.
- What
- I'll get you that cider in a minute.
- No, thanks, I'm on my way.
Hey, smells like something's burning.
What's your name?
You're just like me, nuts about smells.
- My name's H?ctor. H?ctor Flota. You?
- Rodolfo.
There we are.
- Here, you deserve it.
- No. Thanks, I'll be on my way.
- Have some nougat.
- No, thanks.
You're gonna turn it down?
Here.
Have some nougat. It's from C?rdoba.
It's real nectar, hu?
How stupid, plants conform themselves
with just water and sunlight.
- This is flat.
- Well, welcome, this is my world.
It's not much, but of what's available,
there's nothing missing, right?
- Why don't you open a window?
It's suffocating in here? - Why?
- Well, I'll be going. - Wow...
Iook at where I come across this,
Been looking for it like crazy. I need
you to do me a little favor later.
You met that chick around here,
right?
I see her every time I do my shopping...
I don't mean to be sour grapes,
but I think the chick's a bit...
Why don't you tell me what you need?
then I can give you a hand,
cause I'm kind of in a hurry.
Seriously, what pleasure do you
find in those casual relationships,
with someone you don't...
with someone you've just met?
All that effort, what's there to talk
about when you've nothing in common?
I mean, if you at least go to bed with
a guy, you can talk about soccer later.
Well, I'm off.
Wait, you wanted to know why
I can't open the window.
- No, it's OK.
- Yeah, feel, feel it.
- Feel it. Come here. That smell.
- Yeah, I catch various odors.
No, smells like an abandoned
church or something.
Know what it is?
The apartment's flooded,
some pipe broke or something.
It's the bats.
They've been here for a year and a half.
A problem in the whole building.
If we were in the United States
we'd file a damn lawsuit,
but here...
Listen, listen, listen to that...
they start coming out about now.
Look.
Sorry.
Look at this.
Let's say this is the typical bat,
right?
You'll see him coming out in a sec.
There... that's the little head here...
the wings.
This is where they placed the nests.
And here's where they lay their young.
Here he's got something like time-share.
And these are the cables they
constantly pee on...
and that bloated the wood up, you know.
Why don't those companies that
specialize in this sort of thing?
they get rig of them in a jiffy with
ultrasound. - Nah! That lasted 15 days.
They were back again in no time. Besides,
they've been shitting here for a year.
There's accumulated dried blood
excrement down there.
'Cause these suckers suck on blood.
Did you know they sucked blood?
- No, they eat bugs... they eat...
- No, no! They suck blood.
The other day one fell off the nest,
was rolling around and I'd throw down
the plastic bag meat comes in,
- You wouldn't believe how he sucked on
that blood, serious. - Well, bye.
Did you know the female bat can keep
the semen for a year...
- And use it whenever she wants to?
- No.
Hey, Cachoi,
you gotta do me that little favor!
ID, police.
ID, boy.
What the...? What...?
Fuck.
ID, please.
Police.
- Could I have your ID, please?
- Yes, what's wrong?
- If you'd be so kind.
- What is it?
Routine.
ID, please.
- What is it?
- Standard procedure.
- What's wrong?
- Public service, pops.
Could I have that ID for a second?
Very kind of you, thanks.
But, my daughter's waiting for me,
can't you call someone else?
- Listen, my daughter's waiting for me.
- No, no problem with that, pops.
Yes there is a problem, because,
besides, I can't be on my feet,
I've got bad circulation.
- Excuse me, where is it we have to go?
- Right across the street,
it's proceedings for Dr. Pescardi...
- How long will it take?
- 5, 3 minutes, how long could it take?
- Could I have my ID back?
- Okay, please come with me?
- Are you Argentinian?
- Yes.
Come with me.
- ? Well Olivera? - These gentlemen are the
witnesses, and this is Subinspector Cueto.
- Do you have the IDs? - You should never
leave home without them.
Look, officer, excuse me...
I'm all for cooperating with you guys,
I'd love to help out. Thing is, it's a
bit late for me, I still have to...
We are carrying out proceedings
in this apartment,
which belongs to a person called Britos,
this man is a delinquent, con artist,
ouch! He is now in prison, we are trying
to carry out a search...
to see if we find anything inside. It's
important that we do find something.
Is that clear?
Huh? Got it?
- Hey, isn't there anything else we can
use? -Aguilera, go check in the car...
- See if there is anything.
- Yes, you get me?
Yes, let's see if there's a...
- What are you, cops?
- Any idea who might have the key?
Nah... I can see the future.
I was talking to my mom just yesterday,
told her, how come they haven't come
search this apartment yet?
You were bound to come here
sooner or later, for sure.
Been living here for 28 years, in this
neighborhood, right? Been here for 14,
in this apartment, wait, this here used
to be a classy building,
but they scrimp on the condo fees,
so, what can you expect?
You guys are always too late. You come
in when the widow's already married.
Yo, it was a joke.
Manaciano, Alfredo.
What I got that might help is a
metal cutting hammer, there.
- Okay, go get it.
- How's it going, alright?
You guys do your job, right?
Good thing, my God, 'cause this guy,
the screaming, I can't...
I can't say anything, I'm like...
This guy had this thing, you know?
There's this something you feel... A...
Could you get us that metal cutter?
Excuse me, officer,
this man's not feeling well.
I tell you, this man's not feeling well,
seriously, he's got to go.
Easy kid, it's just a few minutes.
No, I'm telling you, he can't stay, if
the door's not open in five minutes...
he's gotta go, he can't stay.
Okay. I'll be on my way.
No, wait, you gotta do me
another little favor.
See that little box there, it's food
for the fish, could you feed him?
But... you can...
Come on, last one, come on.
The poor thing. He's awful lonely.
I should get him a mate.
He's so cute. The fins look like wings,
look at him go.
You gotta change the water, it's too
dirty. They're very delicate, he could-
That's it, delicate, that's the word!
You got delicate hands.
Artist's hands. - You know what?
Everything's a bit dirty, your house too.
What do you do?
You should clean up a bit,
pay attention to your appearance...
- Get a shave, get yourself a girlfriend.
- Girlfriend? Stop!
Don't feed him anymore.
Girlfriend? I suffered
a great disappointment, you know?
You understand, don't you?
Yeah, sure, you're just like me.
The world is going real cheap on us,
Cachoi. There's no real nobility.
We get to the Windsor Palace,
we rip off the silver spoons,
but the majority goes nuts
over the detergent.
- Where are the men?
- Huh?
The Little Prince asked.
"I feel all alone in the desert."
"You can also feel alone amongst men",
answered the snake.
"What a weird animal,
you have no legs".
"Fine as a finger. But as powerful as
the finger of a king," said the snake.
My girlfriend, used to read me
"The Little Prince."
Well, H?ctor, I'll be off... I gotta get
going, man. A pleasure. Honestly.
- Happy holidays, maybe one day...
- May I? - What?
You... you're around people that suffer,
right? You like doing things for people.
Sensitive, affectionate.
Very passionate.
But you get discouraged very easily, and
you're very lonely, have been for long.
You've been alone for a long time.
Narrow phalanx... refined.
You had so many different talents,
and didn't pay any attention to them.
- What happened?
- I don't know.
Did you let yourself go?
Too bad.
You're scared.
You're scared of those who suffer.
Let's see... the texture.
- You'll soon be getting a surprise.
- I gotta go.
Wait, just another little favor,
I gotta go to the john now.
No, H?ctor, I'm sorry, I have to go,
I'm already late, I can't stay.
- Otherwise, I'd love to.
- You're a diamond, Cachoi.
Have a good time, man.
Happy holidays.
- Ouch, monkeyfucking asshole!
- Be careful.
Pisses me off, hitting myself like that,
I get so pissed off I could kill myself.
Thing is, this was done,
architect who did the Barolo passage,
and these are all,
these French locks.
- Who are you?
- It's me, grandma, Fredi.
- The police, granny.
- Thank god.
- OK, OK... okay, Aguilera.
- Almost there.
Are you alright, Aguilera?
You two, come along.
The machine, please.
Come along, easy,
we'll be out of here in five minutes.
Wow, look at how the son of a bitch
lived. Just look at this son of a bitch.
That's all acrylic.
Sir,
sir!
Good evening, excuse me. Look,
our car's stopped right near by,
- I need a little gas.
- You're the guy who had a little girl.
No, no, I'm not from this
company. I'm an outsider.
We were on our way to Buenos Aires.
What's that?
- What is that?
- What?
It's 'cause of the static.
Come with us.
Careful.
- ?So Starosta?
- Nothing!
What a cynical son of a bitch, this
is Miami and this is Brito's chick.
- If I get my hands on this one.
- The chick's a real slut.
These orgiastic parties took place here,
till six in the morning...
they once started dancing lambada,
when that was fashionable,
I had to go after them with a squirt gun,
fucking blasted them.
Watch it, I mean slutty.
And she reeked of dope.
You get in the elevator and feel
the smell on this chick...
and the chick smells of dope, not that
I know dope, right?
well, somehow I did, we got this
cousin with a little problem...
- I say we because...
- Officer... officer.
...he later became a cop.
- Excuse me, officer, I'd have to leave.
I can't stay any longer,
it's getting late.
I gotta go by a toy store, still
gotta pick up a present for my kid,
and this gentleman too, his family's
waiting for him. Could we? I gotta go.
And you think I was born
out of an incubator?
I got family too,
I also wanna be at home,
get it?
Nevertheless I am here cleaning up
everybody else's shit.
I too want to be home having some cider.
Do you understand?
The police works around the clock.
This...
this is what drug addicts use
in North America,
they get stoned and stare at this
for an hour or two, a vase, a flower...
vice.
Mister Burgos, please report
to platform number three.
See that door over there?
Go in and tell Mr. Burgos
to get you some gas.
But, what should I say?
Tell him I sent you.
To give you some gas, tell him.
Which door?
Mister Burgos!
Burgos!
SECURITY RELATED SYSTEMS
Mister!
Burgos!
Mister Burgos!
- Hello.
- Hello, what's up?
I came down to get you, came to tell you
the intercom's not working.
Oh, right... I.
And this guy?
- That's Arthur.
- Hello Arthur.
I love boxers.
This one's striped.
- Well...
- Want me to get your box?
Okay. And, are we...
will we go somewhere?
Okay.
- Let's go, inside.
- Okay.
- Let's go, Arthur.
- Oh.
Okay... come in, come on in, same thing.
- Hello, baby.
- Oh, and this guy? Who's this?
That's Fito. Love of my life.
Come on in, give me a minute.
Sir!
Gasoline!
Here, we... our car stopped here!
Could I please have some gas?
I'd be glad to, but I got gas oil,
that's the thing.
- Ready back there?
- Wait up, Hugo Luis taking a piss.
Which way are you headed?
- No, I'm... I'm going to Buenos Aires.
- Me too.
There's a gas station
about 10 miles from here.
You can get some gas and then
get a ride back.
- Sorry, you got a smoke?
- No.
Are you... Bolivian?
They're Bolivian, I'm Marplatense.
From Mar del Plata.
Check it out.
But, what are you doing with that?
But, who knows where that's been,
what are you doing? Take that off.
Pops, what's your last name?
Estene... Estana...
Stanoievich.
- What origin is that?
- Serbia. - Holy moly!
I think there might be another way
to do things... I mean.
- How's that? - I'm just thinking.
- Why do you say that?
Well, what if this guy's maybe hiding
some swags?
- What swags?
- Jewels, stuff... jewelry, checks...
And... what could happen?
We're all friends here.
- Yeah.
- We're all friends here, right?
You know why I say this?
Cause it'd be a real shame, you know?
Well, yes. Yes, it'd be a shame.
- The man here understands me.
- So?
So it'd be a shame for all these things
to go to waste, don't you think?
No problem by me.
No problem with me either.
- Besides, this guy...
- No, this guy... this guy's a thief.
I can tell you now that all the things
you'll find here are looted.
- So, any of you got a problem?
- Me? What problem could I have with it?
If you don't have a problem,
I'm at your service.
Didn't you see some nice suits around?
Real nice, too. Italian silk.
No, no, count me out, hu.
No, I don't agree to this.
Sorry, but I just don't agree.
Let's go into the bedroom where there's
tons of things. No, sir. It's not legal.
Officer, you know perfectly well
that this isn't legal, you know it.
- Here's your box.
- Thanks.
- Would you like something to drink?
- Okay.
- I got tea, coffee, some wine?
- Yes, please.
- Yes please, what?
- Wine.
Fito!
Did you see what he's doing?
Come, Fito. Fito!
- I gotta tell you something later.
- Okay.
- ?Arthur!
- No, leave him.
Come along, always bothering the guests.
- Hello.
- Hello.
My name's Laura.
What's in the box?
It's a... the box is a present
for a little kid.
But, what's in it?
It's a present. Need I say more?
Aspirin.
- Do you have plans for Christmas Eve?
- No.
You know what I had to tell you?
I saw you the other day,
well, I'd already seen you.
I saw you the other day at the bar
across the street from the hospital.
You were very handsome all dressed up
like a doctor. You looked very formal.
Hi, this is Laura...
Whoa, whoa, whoa, I'm coming!
Hang on, wait up!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
- I need to use the restroom.
In winter this is like a little poncho,
perfect for riding my motorbike.
Try the shoe on.
Is there any chance I could maybe take
the silk shorts?
- This? It's too small for you.
- Well, may be small now.
Otherwise, I'll sell it.
Silk is silk.
I gotta stop fucking around
and lose this potbelly.
Here, too small for me.
No, there's this old lady here that
massages you, takes out all your fluids.
She gives you this massage
and moves all your jejunum around.
You know, you shit
like mad.
Do it once and you're reborn.
Aguilera, Aguilera, what are you doing?
not that.
Don't take pictures here.
Gimme that camera.
Aguilera, don't keep the perfumes, hu?
Put em all right here.
- Look at these rags. - Is there any
chance I could take the bedspread?
If I take the bedspread to my mom,
she'll die. - Yeah, go ahead.
Not that I want her to die...
but... the bedspread...
Son of a bitch, he's got a damn helm.
Officer... officer.
Days like these you realize we really
are 70% water.
Yeah, I wanted to say it seems...
it's enough, you know, we did our part.
More than that... but if, if you need
two witnesses, I wanted to suggest...
that the neighbor and I stay on,
but that we let the gentleman go...
he is an older man and, evidently,
he's not feeling well. - You're right.
- What do you to?
- Me? Odontologist.
- Dental mechanic.
- Dentist.
So, I don't really understand
what we're still doing here.
I imagine there's people you want to see
in your practice and people you don't.
People whose rotten mouths you don't
wanna stick your hands in,
poking around in all that rot, hu?
This is the stuff I don't really like.
Honest,
I don't like this one bit.
I got a different opinion on this.
But every job, everything has its
good side and its bad side.
In my case, if I don't like something,
I just don't do it.
I got a bullet in my
spinal column.
But hey, somebody's gotta do it.
In life, we do more things we don't
like than things we do.
Get it?
Sure, it'd be much better for you to
have to see a hot chick's mouth,
right?
This chick you touch here and there,
you pet a little if you can,
touch her... put your hand here,
stick your hand there.
But you're the respected doctor.
How are you, sir? This and that.
But, what do they know? What do they
know you're not really thinking:
"Why don't you just go fuck yourself?"
See how it works? Somebody's gotta
stick their hand in the muck, you too.
We're here to clean up all the shit.
No, well, actually, no, I can't say
I agree with that.
With these hands, I've done such
things, I really...
tell you the truth... I sometimes
think it wasn't me, you know.
If I were to tell you...
what's your name?
Uhh, I'm Julio DeBiasi.
If I were to tell you, Julito,
all the things I've done.
But then, you get used to it.
I once wanted to get away from this,
open up a grill. Didn't work out either.
Well, the important thing is not to give
up, to never give up the joy of living.
Never kill that
child we carry inside.
What?
What are you looking at?
The neck, my neck's killing me.
?Fito?
Fito.
The road, that carries us
into Christmastime,
- Is a star, it illuminates us
- Can I borrow your phone for a sec?
let's drive down the road,
to Christmas...
if the star will light my way
I got to make it there
Hello, hello. It's me, Juanchi.
Well, I'm on my way to the airport
'cause in the end I do have to travel...
since I had a little time, I wanted to
come by and see you. You there, Laura?
Look, I'll only be out for a week,
then I'm coming back.
But, l, uh, would like to talk.
I think it's worth it, right?
Three months is a long time.
And I... miss you so much,
I love you so much.
I'm willing to change.
What am I saying? I already did!
I'm taller... I grew...
- ?Laura?
- Yes, be right out.
- Thought you were gone.
- No, I was right here.
- Want something to drink?
- No, thanks a lot.
Sorry I had to use the bathroom,
I'm... well...
No, don't worry.
Laura, I wanted to say something
that l, can't...
don't know how to tell you.
- I'm totally...
- I love it that you're so shy.
This is amazing, really amazing.
I should call home, at least talk
to my wife, let her know,
but, she won't understand anything.
I still have to get my medicine,
and then go on to Palomar.
Well, you can take a cab to
get to Palomar.
With what money?
Will you pay for the medicine?
Well, I have to go out West,
If you want, I can give you a lift.
I'm such a freaking asshole.
I should've gone on walking.
- Do you fell okay?
- It's too hot here.
Okay, take it easy, we'll leave here
together, I'll drive you.
- Are you okay?
- Laura, I'd have to...
Uh... I don't have any condoms,
I gotta go get some.
Take the keys,
the intercom's not working.
Boy do I like 3-D pictures,
don't you?
and if it's babes, better.
And naked, better yet.
This perfume here's an aphrodisiac
'cause it's made out of monkey's semen.
- Did you know that...
- Sorry, this gentleman here needs...
to make a call and talk to his daughter,
let her know he's here.
- Call from here.
they do sexual tourism.
- So they use this perfume...
- Better if we don't call my daughter.
And this stuff they make with drugs...
No, no! 'cause I gotta take this
...the bedspread.
Since you're not doing anything, pops,
why don't you go get a soda? A Coke.
No it's okay, I'll go.
I'll go get the Coke.
- We can't let him go alone.
- Could we get an orange Fanta?
- Come on, come're, try this on.
- No, I don't want to.
- Try this on, don't be scared.
- Don't be shy...
things sometimes work out like that,
take 'em.
- I like how it looks on you.
- Looks good.
Looking good.
- Let's see.
- No! Why?
Why?
- Why?
- Don't be greedy.
It's not that I don't wanna give you,
thing is I wanted it 'cause...
I wanna go jogging with...
I can't lose weight 'cause I gotta jog,
I run with this on,
listen to the radio
and time just goes by,
I get bored jogging, you see?
No, he's keeping it.
I don't... I don't want anything.
I don't want anything that's not mine.
- There we go.
- Okay.
- I'll go get it.
- Excuse me.
Britos!
Britos!
No, 'cause maybe it's one of the guys
come looking for the dude.
- Go on, go on.
- No...
Why do I gotta go?
How the fuck should I know who it is?
No...
- What's up, Platense fan?
- What are you doing here, Fredi?
Uhh... I... uh...
Any idea whether the cable guys came by?
No, these guys aren't it... no.
What do you want cable for?
to see the goal get
loaded with cucumbers?
Why don't you join some club
and start rooting for them?
- What's up, Fredi?
- What's up with what?
There, the door?
This guy had a nervous breakdown, see?
Got himself locked up,
wanted to slit his wrists, we're keeping
an eye on him, guy was doing real bad.
We had to call a locksmith.
His car was stolen with his dog inside,
you know? And the guy couldn't take it.
What dog? Britos doesn't have a dog.
That's it, if he doesn't have a dog,
there's the problem, right?
Not everybody can spend Christmas with
the folks, like we can, that love 'em,
truth is, well, gotta go, okay,
Merry Christmas.
Happy hollidays, bye.
Let's go.
No, ten minutes, in twenty five minutes
I got a truck here, take it all,
it's a shame, who's gonna take all this?
Twenty five minutes is all I ask,
half an hour, we take it all...
leave it all next door and then
you guys can come back for it.
The following signatures,
that is, yours and the old man's,
of their own free will,
make an appearance...
declare to be Argentinian...
sign here.
- Babe, this is mine.
- Okay, I think it's fair.
If you happen to find the bedspread,
maybe in some bag...
check it out later...
- Hey, where's the old man?
- Should be downstairs.
- Get a move on.
- Do you have my ID?
Aguilera!
Turn off the lights, and don't forget
to close the door and cordon off the area.
- Are you alright, sir?
- Would you like a glass of water?
- Better?
- Doesn't seem like it.
- Wasn't there any Coke?
- What is it?
- You need anything, sir?
- What happened?
- Are you together, sir?
- Yes, he's with me.
Well, he wasn't feeling well, maybe
the heat made his blood pressure go up.
Easy.
It's okay, okay. I'm in charge.
- Okay. What is it, pops?
- He almost fell.
Are you on some kind of medication?
Fuck. Lets see, get up a bit.
No, let's let him catch his breath,
some air might do him good.
Aguilera, got the keys to the car?
So, how's it going, old man?
How's it going? Easy, we're almost there.
- Turn here?
- Go on, straight ahead.
You know... you know I also gotta
go in for a check up,
I get these pains here in the chest,
I don't know... real painful... serious,
- Don't know what is could be.
- Could be gases. Watch it.
Grandpa, you gotta sign here, almost
forgot, let's not screw it up
Let's go.
There's an old saying that goes:
"Witnesses are the eyes of justice."
Well done, grandpa.
Excuse me, any idea whether
the doctor is in there?
- You gotta knock and wait.
- Yeah, but, is...?
Are you alright?
want to call your daughter?
Sorry...
Yes, I'm here with an emergency,
do you, do you know where I might
find a doctor because I can't find...?
Are you waiting for a doctor?
You know where... where I can...?
Excuse me, could you tell me
where I can find a doctor, please?
- I'll find a doctor in a minute, okay?
- Relax...
they'll come. Take it easy.
- Are you feeling okay?
- Yes, I'm okay now. I feel better.
But, you, go on home,
go on to your family and celebrate.
Go celebrate.
- Are you sure you're feeling alright?
- Yes.
Bye, my man, happy holidays.
You forgot something, Julio.
This here's yours.
Remember our conversation, never forget
the joy of living. Bye... good luck!
Come on! Come on, start it up.
Yeah, come on.
No, wait, wait up, you'll flood it...
Whoa, whoa...
- Let's see?
- You do it, man.
- No, hold it, hold it.
- So, you come and do it.
Are they open?
- Thought I saw someone inside.
- Yeah.
Walking towards us, right?
- Oh, well... that's it.
- Too bad.
- Gotta be patient.
- It is kinda late.
Come on, come on.
Get on, boy.
Silent night,
Holy night
All is calm,
all is bright
'Round yon virgin
Mother and Child
Holy infant
so tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly peace...
Relax, everything went well, OK?
Your wife is fine and so is the baby.
So...
Thank you, doctor. God bless you.
I'd ask you to please go wait downstairs
in a few minutes.
I let you stay for a while,
it's dangerous now.
- Yes, of course, doctor. Of course.
- Thank you.
It's a boy!
Merry Christmas, doctor.
Nothing, he was doing better and...
all of a sudden, cardiac arrest.
Heav'nly hosts
sing Alleluia
Christ the savior is born
Christ the savior is born
Silent night,
Holy night
Son of God,
love's pure light...
- Ready to run?
- Yeah, everything's cool.
Come on... run.
Come on... come on?
Radiant beams from
Thy holy face
With the dawn of
redeeming grace
Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth...
Well, almost midnight all over the
country, everybody's got a glass...
watch it with the alcohol, don't
overdo it, huh? It's Christmastime.
Well, to you, Mom...
to Mary... Ruben,
well, for a better world.
Flipper's trying to tell us something,
grandpa.