Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (1998) - full transcript

Raindrops on roses

And whiskers on kittens

Bright copper kettles

And warm woolen mittens

Brown paper packages

Tied up with strings

These are a few

Of my favorite things

We were somewhere around Barstow,
on the edge of the desert …

when the drugs
began to take hold.

I remember saying something like:



I feel a bit lightheaded.
Maybe you should drive.

- - Suddenly there was
a terrible roar all around us …

and the sky was full of
what looked like huge bats …

all swooping and screeching
and diving around the car.

- And a voice was screaming: - Holy
Jesus, what are these goddamned animals?

Come on, baby

Did you say something?

Never mind.

It's your turn to drive.

No point in mentioning
these bats, I thought.

The poor bastard'll
see them soon enough.

Baby, I'm startin'
to feel human

- Oh, oh, yeah
- Hey, come on, feel it with me, baby

Come on, feel it, come on



Fucking pigs! Flying!

We had two bags of grass …

75 pellets of mescaline …

five sheets of
high-powered blotter acid …

a salt shaker
half full of cocaine …

a whole galaxy of multicolored
uppers, downers, screamers, laughers.

Also a quart of tequila,
a quart of rum, a case of beer …

- a pint of raw ether …
- Shit!

Two dozen amyls.

Not that we needed all that
for the trip …

but once you get locked into
a serious drug collection …

the tendency is to push it
as far as you can.

The only thing that really
worried me was the ether.

There is nothing in the world more helpless
and irresponsible and depraved …

than a man in the depths
of an ether binge …

and I knew we'd get into
that rotten stuff pretty soon.

A House subcommittee report
says illegal drugs killed …

160 American G.I.s last year …

40 of them in Vietnam.

One toke over the line
Sweet Jesus

One toke, man!

One toke over the line

Sittin' downtown
in a railway station

One toke over the line

- One toke, you poor fool?
- Sweet, sweet Mary

Wait'll you see
those goddamned bats, man.

Mine

One toke over the line

- Let's give that boy a lift.
- What? No!

Wait!

We can't stop here.
This is bat country.

Hot damn! I never rode
in a convertible before!

Is that right? Well, I guess
you're about ready then, aren't ya?

We're your friends. We're not
like the others, man. Really.

No more of that talk, or I'll
put the leeches on you. Understand?

Get in.

How long could we maintain?
I wondered.

How long before one of us starts raving
and jabbering at this boy?

What will he think then?

This same lonely desert was the last
known home of the Manson family.

Would he make that grim connection
when my attorney starts screaming …

about bats and huge manta rays
coming down on the car?

If so, well, we'll just have to
cut his head off and bury him somewhere.

'Cause it goes without saying
that we can't turn him loose.

He'd report us at once to some kind of
outback Nazi law enforcement agency …

and they'll run us down like dogs.

- Jesus, did I say that, or just think it?
- Jesus, did I say that?

Was I talking?
Did they hear me?

It's okay. Just admiring
the shape of your skull.

- No, thanks!
- Maybe I'd better have a chat with this boy.

- I have asthma! - Perhaps if I
explain things, he'll rest easy.

All right, listen.

There's one thing you should probably
understand - Can you hear me?

Good.

I want you to have
all the background.

This is a very ominous assignment …

with overtones of
extreme personal danger.

I'm a Doctor of Journalism.
This is important, goddamn it!

This is a fucking true story!

You fucking -

Get your hands off my fucking head!

- Now, now, now.
- Our vibrations were getting nasty. But why?

Was there no communication
in this car?

Had we deteriorated
to the level of dumb beasts?

This man at the wheel
is my attorney.

He's not just some dingbat I found
on the Strip, man. He's a foreigner.

I think he's probably Samoan.
It doesn't matter, though, does it?

- Are you prejudiced?
- Hell, no.

I didn't think so.

Because, in spite of his race,
the man is extremely valuable to me.

Oh, shit. I forgot about the beer.
You want some?

No.

- How 'bout some ether?
- What?

Never mind. All right, let's get right
to the heart of this thing.

- Twenty-four hours ago we were
sitting … - … in the Polo Lounge …

of the Beverly Heights Hotel,
in the patio section, of course …

drinking Singapore Slings
with mescal on the side …

hiding from the brutish realities
of this foul year of Our Lord, 1971.

Cops were goin' apeshit -

Perhaps this is the call you've
been waiting for all this time, sir.

Perhaps.

Yeah.

Really. All right.

Yeah? Oh, yeah, yeah.
Oh, yeah.

Okay. Bye.

- That was headquarters. They want me to -
- Ahem.

Thank you.

They want me to go
to Las Vegas at once …

make contact with a Portuguese
photographer named Lacerda.

He'll have all the details.

All I have to do is check into
my soundproof suite. He'll seek me out.

- What do you think?
- Sounds like real trouble.

You're gonna need plenty
of legal advice before this thing is over.

Oh, yeah.

As your attorney, I advise you to rent
a very fast car with no top.

And you'll need the cocaine.

Tape recorder for special music.

Acapulco shirts.

Get the hell out of L.A.
for at least 48 hours.

- Blows my weekend.
- Why?

'Cause, naturally,
I'm gonna have to go with you.

We're gonna have to
arm ourselves to the teeth.

Well, why not?

I mean, if a thing's worth doing,
it's worth doing right.

This is the American Dream in action.

Wait!

Shit, we'd be fools not to ride this
strange torpedo all the way out to the end.

Indeed.
We must do it.

What kind of story is this?

It's the Mint 400.

It's the richest off-road race
for motorcycles and dune buggies

in the history of organized sport.

It's a fantastic spectacle …

in honor of some fatback grosero …

who owns the luxurious Mint Hotel
in downtown Las Vegas.

At least that's what
the press release says anyway.

Well, as your attorney,
I advise you to buy a motorcycle.

How else can you cover
a thing like this righteously?

Well, we're gonna have to
drum it up on our own.

Pure Gonzo journalism.

Shit!

Getting hold of the drugs
and shirts had been no problem …

but the car and tape recorder were
not easy things to round up at 6:30 …

on a Friday afternoon in Hollywood.

Sounds beautiful.
Great. Hang on to it.

Fuckin' A, the gentleman has
a major credit card!

That's right, man. Don't take any guff
from these fucking swine.

I just got through
saying that.

Do you realize who the fuck
you're talking to? Do you?

Be over in 30 minutes.

We're gonna need a sound store.

We won't make the nut unless
we have unlimited credit.

Jesus Christ. We will, man.

You Samoans are all the same.

You have no faith in the essential
decency of the white man's culture.

The store was closed …

but the salesman said
he would wait if we hurried.

But we were delayed en route when a Stingray
in front of us killed a pedestrian.

We had trouble again
with the car rental agency.

Mr. Duke, we're all settled.

If I could get your John Hancock,
you're on your way.

Yeah.

You're gonna be real careful
with this car, right?

Oh, yeah, man. Of course.

Holy smokes!

You just backed over a two-foot concrete
abutment, and you didn't even slow down.

What were you going, about, uh, oh, I
don't know, 45 miles an hour backwards?

There's no harm done.

I always test the transmission that way,
the rear end for stress factors.

- Boy, this is really a nice pen, man.
- Hey, uh, listen, you -

you fellas haven't been,
uh, drinking, have you?

- No. Not me.
- Well -

We're responsible people.

Goddamn it, you've got my pen!

Goddamn hippies!

We spent the rest of that night rounding
up materials and packing the car.

Then we ate some mescaline
and went swimming.

Our trip was different.

It was to be
a classic affirmation …

of everything right and true
in the national character …

a gross physical salute to the fantastic
possibilities of life in this country.

But only for those with true grit.

And we are chock full
of that, man.

Damn right!

My attorney understands this concept,
despite his racial handicap.

But do you?

He said he understood, but I could see
in his eyes that he didn't.

He was lying to me.

Medicine!

- What?
- Medicine!

Medicine? Oh, yeah, medicine!
Right. Right here.

Don't worry. This man has a bad heart.

Angina pectoris.

But we have a cure for it.
Here you go. All right.

Big whiff. Big whiff.
Big whiff, sonny boy.

There you go. Much better.

Now for the doctor.

What the -

What the fuck are we doing out here
in the middle of the desert?

Somebody call the police.
We need help.

We need help.
We need help. We need help.

The truth.

Truth?

We're goin' to Vegas …

to croak a scag baron
named Savage Henry.

- It's true.
- Why? Because I've known him for years …

but he ripped us off.

- And you know what that means.
- And you know what that means.

- Right?
- No.

Savage Henry …

has cashed his check.

- Cashed his check.
- And we're gonna rip his lungs out.

And eat them. That bastard
won't get away with this.

I mean, what is going on
in this country …

when a scum sucker like that can get away
with sandbagging a Doctor of Journalism?

- Hey!
- Thanks for the ride! I like you guys!

- Really, don't worry about me!
- Wait a minute!

Come back and have a beer!

Shit.

Fuck. I'm gonna miss him.

- Move over!
- Did you see his eyes?

We have to get out of California
before that kid finds a cop.

Scoot over, you fat bastard.

- We had a real freak on our hands!
- Oh, shit.

It was absolutely imperative
that we get to the Mint Hotel …

before the deadline
for press registration.

Otherwise we might have to
pay for our suite.

Jesus! Did you see
what God just did to us, man?

God didn't do that.
You did it.

You're a narcotics agent.
I knew it.

That was our cocaine, you pig!
Fucking pig, swine, whore!

You better be careful.

Plenty of vultures out here that'll pick
your bones clean before morning.

You fucking whore.

Here's your half
of the sunshine acid. Eat it.

Yeah.

Great.

How long do I have?

As your attorney, I advise you
to drive at top speed.

It'll be a goddamn miracle if we can get
there before you turn into a wild animal.

Yeah, yeah

Are you ready for that?

Checking into a Vegas hotel
under a phony name …

with intent to commit capital fraud
and a head full of acid?

I sure hope so.

Thirty minutes. It was
going to be very close.

Well, she's all you'd ever want

She's the kind I'd like to flaunt

And take to dinner

Welcome to the Mint Hotel!

But she always knows her place

She's got style
She's got grace

She's a winner

She's a lady

She's a lady

Talking about my little lady

- Come on, take the ticket. We're busy here.
- And the lady is mine

Come on, take the ticket.
Take it.

Take the ticket.

I need this. Right?

I'll remember your face.

There is no way of explaining
the terror I felt.

Attention, all
Mint Hotel guests.

Will the owner of a green Pinto …

Minnesota license plate TG0432 -

I was pouring sweat.

My blood is too thick for Nevada.

I've never been able to properly
explain myself in this climate.

Okay. Be quiet, be calm.

Name, rank and press affiliation.

Nothing else.

… hamburger stand.
She's a waitress about 16 years old.

They chopped her goddamn head off
right there in the parking lot …

and cut all kinds of holes in her
and sucked out the blood.

They were after the pineal gland,
I think. Yeah.

- No. How's your mama?
- Ignore this terrible drug.

Yeah.

Pretend it's not happening.

Hi there -

My name?

Raoul Duke!

On the list. Freelance.
On the list, then?

Total coverage.

I have my attorney …

with me …

and I realize that his name
is not on that list …

but we must have a suite!

Must have that suite.

What's the score here?

What's next?

Your suite isn't ready yet …

but someone
was looking for you.

No! We haven't done
anything yet!

I can handle this.

This man suffers
from a bad heart.

But I have plenty of medicine.
My name is Dr. Gonzo.

Prepare our suite at once.
We'll be in the bar.

I don't know about you, but
I'm startin' to feel that drink.

Hey, beat it.
Beat it. Go on.

I like the way you did that.

Come on.
Come on. Come on.

- Watch out!
- Come on, come on. Let's get some peanuts.

That's one thing
that's good for you. Peanuts.

Jesus!

Two Cuba libres,
beer and mescal on the side.

You got it.

I'll bet you're a Libra.

Who's Lacerda?

He's waiting for us
on the 12th floor.

Room 1250. Lacerda.

I couldn't remember.

The name rang a bell,
but I couldn't concentrate.

Terrible things were happening
all around us.

Order some golf shoes …

otherwise we'll never
get out of this place alive.

Impossible to walk in this muck.

No footing at all.

Mr. Roger Pratt, please
call the hotel operator.

How can I bear
to see your heart break

To see your heart break

Over me

I was right in the middle
of a fucking reptile zoo …

and somebody was giving booze
to these goddamn things.

It won't be long now
before they tear us to shreds.

Please!

Tell me about the fucking golf shoes!

Jesus God Almighty,
look at that bunch over there, man.

They've spotted us.

That's the press table, man.

We're gonna have to sign in
for our credentials.

Okay?

Are you ready?

Are you ready?

- Come on, hurry up.
- Wait! Don't leave me!

Two club sandwiches …

and, uh,
two more club sandwiches …

one, two, three, four
shrimp cocktails …

and nine fresh grapefruit.

Vitamin C. Need all we can get.

- Four chicken -
- There's a, uh …

big machine in the sky,
some kind of …

- Quart of rum. - well, electric
snake coming straight at us.

Shoot it.

Not yet. I want
to study its habits.

You motorcycle people
sure are hearty eaters.

I need the cart.
I need to return with the cart.

Thank you, but the cart needs to
go back - I'll be back!

- You bastard.
- I've been hit, man!

I leave you alone for 3 minutes and you start
waving that goddamn marlin spike around …

yelling about reptiles.

- What are you talking about?
- You scared the shit out of those people.

They were ready
to call the cops.

- Yes, sir, you're lucky I came back in time.
- Don't come fucking near me!

Leave me alone.

The only reason they gave us press
passes was to get you out of there.

Oh, God! What's that?

That scene straightened me
right out, man.

Who's at the door?

- As the bombing continues in Laos -
- Just a minute.

Oh, shit.

Oh, my God.

Hi. I'm, uh, Lacerda,
your photographer.

Duke?

Back there.

- It looks as though the North Vietnamese may -
- Duke? Duke?

Hi!

Lacerda.
Your photographer.

You're not Portuguese, man!

Hey, too bad you guys
missed the bikes checkin' in.

Oh, man, what a sight!

Husqvarnas, Yamahas, DMZs.

Kawasakis!

Maicos. Pursang!

Swedish fireballs.

Couple of Triumphs.
Here and there a CZ.

All very, very fast.

Very.

What a race it's gonna be.

Yeah.

I'm gonna let myself out.

We know what
you're up to, man.

I'm gonna tell you -

He's lying to us.
I could see it in his eyes.

Eyes?

- Late battle reports indicate -
- Panic on, Charlie.

Turn this shit off!

The racers were ready at dawn.

Very tense.

In some circles the Mint 400
is a far, far better thing …

than the Super Bowl,
the Kentucky Derby …

and the Lower Oakland Roller
Derby Finals all rolled into one.

Slow down!
This is a restricted area!

This race attracts
a very special breed.

- Fuck off.
- All right.

It was time to get grounded,
to ponder this rotten assignment …

and figure out how to cope with it.

It was time to do the job.

Those of us who had been up all night
were in no mood for coffee and doughnuts.

We wanted strong drink.

We were, after all …

the absolute cream
of the national sporting press.

Pull!

We were gathered here in Las Vegas
for this very special moment in sport.

When it comes to a thing like this,
we don't fool around.

It's, uh, just beautiful.

Money plays. Money plays.

Kill the body, the head will die.
Ali-Frazier fight.

- Crazy shit.
- A proper end to the '60s.

Ali beaten
by a human hamburger.

- Both Kennedys murdered by mutants.
- Hey, they're startin'!

Oh, shit, they're startin'.
Let's go!

Ladies and gentlemen …

welcome to the start of the
$50,000 Mint 400 Desert Race …

with a purse of $50,000
going to the winner …

of this grueling,
gut-wrenching, dust-eating …

in-your-face
motocross extravaganza!

And there they go!

We've got rooster tails goin'!

We're here to spit
in your enemy's eye!

There they go.

All right, our second group
of ten is getting in place.

Kawasakis, Triumphs, Maicos.

Here we are, ready to go.
It's the green flag, and they're off!

Another great start with a lot of dirt
happening on this hill!

All right, here we go with
the third group. And they're off!

Number 45 riding
in the number-four position …

is choking as the dust flies!

You'd better wet those bandannas
you got stretched over your face!

There was something like
190 more bikes waiting to start.

- Gimme a beer, man.
- They were due to go off, ten at a time …

every two minutes.

There you go, buddy.

- Goddamn it. What day is it? Saturday?
- Shit.

More like Sunday.

Hello! Anyone?

Have you seen the race?

By 10:00 they were spread out
all over the course.

It was no longer a race.

Now it was
an endurance contest.

The idea of trying to cover this race in
any conventional press sense was absurd.

- Hey! It's pretty great, huh?
- What?

Come on in!

I'm just gonna try different
combinations of lenses and film …

until I find something
that works in this dust!

What the fuck?

That's fucking machine guns.
They're firing at us. Machine guns!

It's a goddamn war zone!
Get us out of here quick!

Quick, man!

We're gonna be killed,
for fuck's sake!

What the - Oh, no.
Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God.

Where's the damn race?

Beats me, man.

We're just good, patriotic Americans
like yourself.

What outfit you fellas with?

The sporting press.
We're friendlies.

Hired geeks.

Uh … yeah.

Let's go.

Good luck, gentlemen.

- Get him!
- Freaks.

- Take me back to the pits.
- No! No, no, no. We have to go on.

We need total coverage!

It was time, I felt, for an agonizing
reappraisal of the whole scene.

You're fired.

Awful jackass.

All right.

- No, drive into the dust!
- I never wanna see you again.

Just drive into the dust!

Huh?

The race was definitely underway.

I had witnessed the start.
I was sure of that much.

But what now?

What comes next?

Turn on the radio.
Turn on the tape machine.

Roll your goddamn window down.

- It's not unusual
- Let us taste this cool desert wind.

To be loved by anyone

Yes. This is what it's all about.

Total control now …

tooling along the main drag
on a Saturday night in Vegas.

Two good old boys
in a fire-apple-red convertible …

stoned, ripped, twisted.

Good people.

Hot fuck.
That sounds heavy.

Twenty-nine-cent hot dogs.

What are we doing here?

Are we here to entertain
ourselves or do the job?

Do the job, of course.

Here we go. Crab Louie and a quart
of muscatel for $20.

- It's not unusual - As your attorney, I
advise you to drive over to the Tropicana …

and pick up on Guy Lombardo. He's in the
Blue Room with his Royal Canadians.

- Why?
- Why? Why what?

Why should I pay my hard-earned dollars
to watch a fucking corpse?

I don't know about you …

but in my line of business,
it's important to be hep.

What the hell
do you think you're doing?

This is not a parking area!
You've got to move your car!

- You can't park your car here.
- Excuse me. Sir!

- What?
- You can't park - - Hey!

You can't park your car here!

Why not? Is this not
a reasonable place to park?

Reasonable? You're on a sidewalk!
It's a sidewalk!

- This is not a parking area!
- Debbie Reynolds?

- You can't park on the sidewalk!
- Seems like a hot ticket.

Drove all the way from L.A.
for this show.

We're friends of Debbie's.

- Okay, bye.
- We'll see you later.

- This was Bob Hope's turf.
- Strangers in the night

Frank Sinatra's.

- Exchanging glances
- Spiro Agnew's.

The place fairly reeked of high-grade
Formica and plastic palm trees.

Clearly a high-class refuge
for big spenders.

- It's started. Is she on stage?
- She is. Sold out.

Sorry, sir. Full house.
I'm sorry, sir.

We drove all the way
from L.A. for this show.

I said there are no seats left, sir,
at any price.

Fuck seats!

- We're friends with Debbie.
- I used to romp with her.

- Are you prepared to go to court?
- Well, that depends.

I wanna talk to you
for a second.

- Your attitude constitutes a breach of faith.
- Uh, hi.

In Nevada, that's illegal.

- What's your name?
- My name? Tony Pizzacata.

Tony Pizzacata.

What, may I ask, is your name, sir?

It's on my driver's license.

- I think we might be able
to squeeze you in, sir.

- Thank you kindly.
- You'll have to stand in the back.

After a lot of bad noise,
he let us in for nothing …

provided we would stand
quietly in the back and not smoke.

Ladies and gentlemen …

the Desert Inn is proud to present
the one, the only …

the incomparable
Miss Debbie Reynolds!

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen!

It's wonderful to be here
with all you fabulous people!

Let's rock and roll!

Sgt. Pepper's
lonely hearts club band

What the hell's going on?

- Get 'em out!
- Come on, get outta here!

Get 'em out.

Out. Get 'em out!

Shit! We wandered
into a fuckin' time capsule there.

Scumbag!

I'll find where you live and burn
your house down, you piece of shit!

What happened?

- - One of these days I'll toss
a fuckin' bomb in that place.

All right. You see that?

This is the place, man.

They'll never fuck with us here.

Where's the ether?
Mescaline's not working.

There we go. Right.

Yeah. Why not?

Yeah.

Devil ether.

It makes you behave like the village
drunkard in some early Irish novel.

Total loss of all basic motor skills.

Blurred vision,
no balance, numb tongue.

The mind recoils in horror …

unable to communicate
with the spinal column …

which is interesting because you can actually
watch yourself behaving in this terrible way …

but you can't control it.

You approach the turnstiles
and know that when you get there …

you have to give the man two dollars
or he won't let you inside …

but when you get there,
everything goes wrong.

Some angry Rotarian shoves you and
you think, "What's happening here?"

- You hear yourself mumbling:
- Dogs fucked the Pope. No fault of mine.

Ether is the perfect drug
for Las Vegas.

In this town they love a drunk.
Fresh meat.

Come on, buddy. Come on.

So they put us through the turnstiles
and turned us loose inside.

Ladies and gentlemen …

boys and girls …

visitors of all ages …

the Bazooko Casino Circus
proudly presents …

the Flying Fellinis!

Oh, my God!

Excuse me.

Get out of my way, you -

A drug person can learn to cope with things
like seeing their dead grandmother …

crawling up their leg
with a knife in her teeth …

but nobody should be asked
to handle this trip.

Bazooko Circus is what the whole hep
world would be doing Saturday night …

if the Nazis had won the War.

This was the Sixth Reich.

Place your bets!
Everyone's a winner!

Step right up and shoot the pasties off
the nipples of a ten-foot bull dyke …

and win a cotton candy goat!

Step up to this fantastic machine!

For just 99 cents your likeness
will appear 200 feet tall …

on a screen
over downtown Las Vegas.

For just 99 cents more you
can have a voice message!

Say whatever you want, fella!

Oh, they'll hear you, all right!
You'll be 200 feet tall!

The ether was wearing off.

The acid was long gone.

But the mescaline
was running strong.

Good mescaline comes on slow.

The first hour's all waiting …

and then about halfway
through its second hour …

you start cursing the creep who burned you
because nothing's happening.

And then … zang!

I hate to say this -

but this place is getting to me.

I think I'm -
getting the fear.

Nonsense. We came here to find
the American Dream.

Now that we're right
in the vortex, you wanna quit?

You must realize, man,
we've found the main nerve.

That's what -
gives me the fear.

- Oh, look!
- What?

There's, uh, two women
fucking a polar bear.

Don't tell me those things.

Not n - now, man.

This is my last drink.
How much money can you lend me?

Not much. Why?

- I have to go.
- Go?

- Yeah. Leave the country.
- Now, look. Calm down.

You'll be straight in a few hours.
Just sit the fuck down.

Don't fuck around, man.
This is serious.

One more hour in this town -
I'll kill somebody.

Okay, I'll lend you some money.

Can we make it?

- I wanna leave fast.
- Okay.

Let's pay this bill,
get up very slowly -

I think it's gonna be a long walk.

Light, sir?

Do they pay you to s -
screw that bear?

What? What?

- What the fuck did he say to me?
- He's drunk.

You'd better take care
of your friend.

Madam, sir, baby, child,
whatever, can I pay -

Here, take this.
That should be enough.

Hey, come on.
Let's go downstairs and gamble.

You guys don't fucking give up.

Where'd he go?

Where did he go?

- When is this thing gonna stop?
- Stop?

- Stop it!
- It won't stop. It's never gonna stop, man.

Don't move.
You'll come around.

Fuck, he's -

Where did he - Oh.

Come on. Let go.

Quick, like a bunny.
Come on! Hop!

- Come on. Hop!
- Fucker!

Oh, you sniveling,
chicken shit bastard!

All right.

Come on - Oh, fuck!

Come on. You fell, you fell.
Let's go.

Son of a bitch. You pushed me.

- Go away!
- Come on.

All right. Stay here
and go to jail. I'm leaving.

Come on, you fiend!

- Step right over -
- Nothing. I want nothing.

Did you see that?

Some son of a bitch
just kicked me in the back.

Probably the bartender. Wanted to stomp
you for what you said to the waitress.

- Holy moley! Holy moley!
- Cows are gonna kill me.

Bisexuals are gonna kill me.

Let's get outta here.
Where's the elevator?

Don't go near the elevator!
That's just what they want us to do.

Trap us in a steel box, take us down
to the basement. Come here.

Don't run, man. They'd like
any excuse to shoot us.

You drive.

I think there's something wrong with me.

Wrong door.

Wrong door.

This is not a good town
for psychedelic drugs.

Extremely menacing vibrations
were all around us.

We finally made it to the room,
but the key wouldn't open the door.

- Those bastards have changed
the lock on us, man. - Already?

They probably searched the room, man.

Jesus Christ, we're finished.

Watch out! Watch out!

Bolt everything!

Use all the chains!

That's better.
That's better.

Where did this one come from?

Uh, that's Lacerda's.

Yeah. Yeah.
I thought we might need it.

- What for?
- What for?

So we can go up there and blast him
out of bed with a fire hose, man.

I think we should leave
that poor bastard alone.

- He told me he was gonna turn in early, so -
- I knew it.

He got ahold of my woman, man!

You mean that little, uh,
blonde groupie with the film crew?

Shit. Think he sodomized her?

That's right. Laugh about it.

He's gluing her eyes shut
right now, man.

You goddamn honkies are all the same.

You goddamn honkies
are all the same!

Jesus God Almighty, man,
where'd you get that big fucker?

Room service sent it up.

I needed something
to cut the limes, man.

Limes?
What limes?

They didn't have any.
They don't grow in the desert.

That dirty toad bastard.

Should've taken him out
when I had a chance.

Now he has her, man!

He got ahold of my baby, yeah.

I remembered the girl.

We'd had a problem with her
in the elevator a few hours earlier.

My attorney had made
a fool of himself.

- I think you look just like her.
- You think so?

You must be a rider.

Huh? Huh?

She's, uh, speaking to you.

What class are you in?

Class?

What the fuck do you mean?

What do you ride?

See, we're here getting
a little footage on the race for -

a television series.

I thought maybe, um, we could use you.

Oh, use me?
I ride a -

"Mother of God," I thought.
Here it comes.

I ride the big fuckers.
You know? Big ones.

The really big fuckers. Yeah.

Vincent Black Shadow.

We're with the, uh, factory team.

- Bullshit.
- What?

Bullshit.

I think there's some kind of ignorant,
chicken shit - Move over, man.

An ignorant chicken fucker
in this town.

You pink motherfucker.

I can show you better
than I can tell you, ma'am.

Got a light?

No.

You don't trust me, do you? Huh?

- Put the smile away.
- It's okay. I know these guys.

Keep smiling, jerk-off.
Keep trying me, man.

You wanna impress her?
Well, impress her with me.

Oh, fuck.

No, you goddamn freak! Freak!

Oh, shit!

The police are coming after you.

Gimme the key.

Gimme the goddamn key!

For your love

For your love

- I'd give you everything and more
- Oh, no.

- Put the knife away.
- I been walking all day.

Come on. It's in my pocket.
Come on.

For your love

To fill you with delight
I'd give you diamonds bright

There'll be days
that will excite

- I'll make you dream of me at night
- Goddamn it.

It's serious now, man.

That girl understood, man.

She fell in love with me, man.

Eye contact, man.

Wait.

I should go up there and castrate
that fucker. I'll take the blame, man.

Let's just leave that
weird fucker alone, man. Come on.

Have you made a deal with him?

Did you put him on to her?
Huh? Huh?

Huh?

All right, look …

you better put that
goddamn blade away, man.

Get your fuckin' head straight.

I'm gonna go get the car washed.

One of the things you learn after years
of dealing with drug people …

is that you can
turn your back on a person …

but never turn your back on a drug …

especially when it's waving
a razor-sharp hunting knife in your eye.

What was I doing out here?

What was the meaning of this trip?

Was I just roaming around
in a drug frenzy of some kind …

or had I really come out here
to Las Vegas to work on a story?

Who are these people, these faces?

Where do they come from?

They look like caricatures
of used-car dealers from Dallas …

and, sweet Jesus, there are a hell of a
lot of them at 4:30 on a Sunday morning …

still humping
the American Dream -

that vision
of the big winner …

somehow emerging from the last-minute,
pre-dawn chaos of a stale Vegas casino.

- Twenty.
- Change a twenty.

Thank you.

- Here we go.
- Okay.

Spinning the wheel, spinning the wheel
spinning the wheel

Make me rich
Make me very rich

- That's ten.
- Oh, you bastard!

- Shit.
- Sorry.

No, no. Calm down.

Learn to enjoy losing.

Fuck, man, it's the fuckin'
Great Deluge in here.

Don't touch that. Leave it alone.
Don't fuck with it, man!

Oh, God.

Did you eat all this acid?

That's right. Music!

You better pray to God
there's some Thorazine in that bag.

- Otherwise, you're in bad fucking trouble.
- Music, man. Put that tape on!

- What tape?
- Jefferson Airplane. "White Rabbit."

- I need a rising sound.
- You're doomed.

I'm leaving here in two hours.

Then they're gonna come up here

and beat the mortal shit out of you
with big saps right there in that tub.

All right, I'll do it!
I'll do it. I'll do it. Fuck, man.

Just do me one last favor, will ya?

Give me two hours.
That's all I ask.

Two hours to sleep before tomorrow.

I suspect …

it's gonna be a very difficult day.

I'll give you
all the time you need.

Electrocution.
We don't want that.

Fuck off.

When logic and proportion

- Have fallen
- Goddamn it!

Sloppy dead

And the White Knight

- Is talking backwards
- Let's see.

And the Red Queen's
"Off with her head"

- Remember
- Oh, God Almighty.

- Help! Help! Help me! Help!
- What the dormouse said

- Help!
- Shit! He's killing himself!

- Feed your head
- Don't touch it! Don't touch it!

- For fuck's sake, man!
- Feed your head

Back, God -
Back, motherfucker!

- On a roll, man! I need it again!
- What?

When it comes to that fantastic note …

when the rabbit
bites its own head off …

I want you to throw
that fuckin' radio …

into the tub with me.

Fuck! You've gone
completely sideways, man.

That'll blast you right through the wall.
You'll be stone dead in ten seconds.

- Fuck, they'll make me explain things. Shit.
- Bullshit.

Don't fuck with me now, man.
I am Ahab.

Jesus Christ.

All right, you weird fucker!
Sit down! Back in the tub!

I'll plunge this
into your fucking throat.

Don't make me use this, man.

All right, man.

Probably the only solution.

Let me make sure
I've got this all lined up.

You want me to, uh …

throw this into the tub when
"White Rabbit" peaks, is that it?

Oh, fuck.

I was beginning to think
I was gonna have to go outside …

and get one of
the goddamn maids to do it.

Oh, no. I'll do it.

Shit. What are friends for?

- I think she'll know
- You ready?

When logic

- Close your eyes.
- And proportion

Yeah, good boy.

Have fallen sloppy dead

- Rabbit! White Rabbit!
- Quiet, goddamn it! You're wasting my time!

Outta here, man! Get outta here.

- Remember
- Okay, close those peepers. Ten …

What the dormouse said

- nine … hundred and eleven!
- Feed your head

Fifty-two!

- Feed your head
- Hey! Hey!

Hey!

I need sleep.

You bastard!

Mace! Mace, man.
You want this?

You'd do that, wouldn't you?

- Well, why not?
- You fucking bastard!

Hell, just a minute ago you were asking
me to kill you. Now you wanna kill me.

What I should do, goddamn it,
is call the fucking police!

Boy, are you upset.

There'd be no point, man,
calling the cops.

There's no choice.

I wouldn't dare go to sleep with you
wandering around with a head full of acid …

wanting to slice me up
with that goddamn knife.

Who said anything
about slicing you up, man?

I just wanted to cut
a little "Z" in your forehead.

Get back in the tub.
Eat some reds and try to calm down.

Smoke some grass.
Shoot some fucking smack.

Shit, man, do whatever
you gotta do, but please …

I need some fucking rest,
man. Please. Please.

Get out of here, you pig fucker!

Up! Up!

Well, I, uh -

Yeah.

You need to get to work.

Goddamn, what a bummer.

You scurvy shyster bastard.

I'm a Doctor of Journalism, man.

Go on.

Don't let me keep you up.

Don't let me keep you up.

Do you ever clean your shorts!

Clean your shorts, goddamn it,
like a big boy! Go on!

Pig!

The acid had shifted gears on him.

The next phase would probably be one of those
hellishly intense introspective nightmares.

Must get some peace.

Four hours or so of catatonic despair.

Damn drugs.

Ignore the nightmare
in the bathroom.

Just another ugly refugee
from the love generation.

My attorney had never been
able to accept the notion …

often espoused
by former drug abusers …

that you can get a lot higher
without drugs than with them.

And neither have I, for that matter.

When the truth is found

To be lies

And all the joy

Within you dies

Don't you want somebody to love

Don't you need somebody to love

Wouldn't you love somebody to love

You better find somebody to love

Love

1965. The great
San Francisco acid wave.

When the garden flowers

I recall one night in a place
called the Matrix. There I was -

Mother of God! There I am.

Holy fuck.

Uh, clearly I was a victim
of the drug explosion …

a natural street freak
just eating whatever came by.

Does anybody want some LSD?

I got all the makin's …

right here!

All I need is a place to cook.

I decided to eat only
half of the acid at first …

but I spilled the rest on the sleeve
of my red woolen shirt.

What's the trouble?

Well, all this white stuff …

on my sleeve …

is LSD.

With a bit of luck …

his life was ruined forever …

always thinking that just behind some
narrow door in all his favorite bars …

men in red woolen shirts …

are getting incredible kicks
from things he'll never know.

Strange memories on
this nervous night in Las Vegas.

Has it been five years? Six?

It seems like a lifetime, the kind
of peak that never comes again.

Love is but a song I sing

San Francisco in the middle '60s …

was a very special time and place
to be a part of …

- but no explanation …
- You can make the mountains ring

no mix of words
or music or memories …

can touch that sense of knowing
that you were there and alive …

in that corner of time in the world,
whatever it meant.

Though the bird is on the wing

And you may not know why

There was madness
in any direction …

- Come on, people, now
- at any hour.

- Smile on your brothers
- You could strike sparks anywhere.

Everybody get together

- Try to love one another
- There was a fantastic universal sense …

that whatever we were doing was right,
that we were winning.

And that, I think, was the handle.

Some may come and some may go

That sense of inevitable victory
over the forces of old and evil.

Not in any mean or military sense -
we didn't need that.

Our energy would simply prevail.

We had all the momentum.

We were riding the crest
of a high and beautiful wave.

So now, less than five years later …

you can go up on a steep hill
in Las Vegas and look west …

and with the right kind of eyes …

you can almost see
the high-water mark …

that place where the wave
finally broke …

and rolled back.

Try to love one another right now

Want some whiskey in your water

- Room service!
- Some sugar in your tea

What's all these crazy questions
they're askin' me

- Good morning, sir. - This is the
craziest party there could ever be

What do you want, man?
What do you want?

- Room service.
- Get out.

- Mama told me not to come - You're
in the wrong room. Get the fuck out!

- I've got a gun. It's not mine, really.
- Mama told me not to come

- Uh, the - the - the bill.
- What?

- Will you … s-sign for it?
- All right. Give it. Hurry up.

Don't move, man.
Be very still.

There you go.

Say nothing to no one, man.

Open up the window
Let some air into this room

The decision to flee came
suddenly. Or maybe not.

That cigarette you're smokin'
'bout scared me half to death -

Maybe I'd planned it all along,

subconsciously waiting
for the right moment.

- Mama told me not to come
- The bill was a factor, I think …

- because I had no money to pay for it.
- Mama told me not to come

Our room service tabs had been running
somewhere between 29 and 36 dollars per hour …

- That ain't the way to have fun, son
- for 48 consecutive hours.

- Incredible.
- That ain't the way to have fun

How could it happen?

But by the time I asked this question,
there was no one around to answer it.

That rotten attorney of mine,
Dr. Gonzo, was gone.

He must have sensed trouble.

A "Z"?

Panic.

It crept up my spine like
first-rising vibes of an acid frenzy.

All these horrible realities
began to dawn on me.

Oh, fuck.

Here I was …

alone in Las Vegas,
completely twisted on drugs.

No cash,
no story for the magazine …

and on top of everything else, I had a
gigantic goddamn hotel bill to deal with.

I didn't even know
who'd won the race.

Maybe nobody.

How would Horatio Alger
have handled this situation?

Stay calm. Stay calm.

I'm a relatively
respectable citizen.

Multiple felon, perhaps,
but certainly not dangerous.

Taxi!

Luckily I had taken the soap and grapefruit
and other luggage out to the car earlier.

Now -

it was only a matter
of slipping the noose.

Hey! Here, take this.
All right.

- Mr. Duke! Mr. Duke!
- Oh, shit.

- We've been looking for you.
- The game was up. They had me.

Many fine books have been written
in prison, huh?

- Sir?
- What?

Um, this telegram came for you.

Actually, it's not for you.
It's for somebody named, uh, Thompson.

But it says, "Care of Raoul Duke."
Do you - Do you -

- Does that mean anything?
- Yes, yes, it means a lot. Thanks.

Yeah, I checked the register
for this man Thompson.

We don't show him, but I figured
he might be part of your team.

- He is. Don't worry. I'll get it to him.
- Yeah.

Um, what confused us was, uh …

Dr. Gonzo's signature on the telegram from
Los Angeles when we knew he was right here.

Right.
You did the right thing.

Never try to understand a press message.
About half the time, we use codes.

Especially with Dr. Gonzo.
See ya.

Um, tell me.

When will the doctor be awake?

- Awake? What do you mean?
- Well, um …

my manager, Mr. Heem,
would like to meet him.

It's nothing unusual, um -

Mr. Heem likes to meet
all of our large accounts …

put 'em on a personal basis, you know?

Just a chat and a handshake.
You understand.

Of course, but if I were you …

I would leave the doctor alone
until after he's eaten his breakfast …

because he's a very crude man.

Jesus God!

No!

Um, but he will be available,
huh, maybe later this morning?

Look, the telegram
is actually all scrambled.

It's actually from Thompson,
not to him.

All right? Now, I've got to go.
I've gotta get to the race.

- B-But there's no hurry. The race is over.
- Not for me.

Well, um - Let's have lunch!

Righty-o, man. Righty-o.

- Now, the bricks lay on Grand Street
- Jesus.

Bad waves of paranoia.
Madness. Fear and loathing.

Intolerable vibrations
in this place. Get out.

The weasels were closing in.

I could smell the ugly brutes.

Do me one last favor, Lord.

Just give me five more high-speed hours
before You bring the hammer down.

Just let me get rid of this goddamn car
and off this horrible desert.

Oh, Mama

Is this really the end

- To be stuck inside of Mobile
- Oh, you evil bastard.

- With the Memphis blues again - This is
Your work. You better take care of me, Lord.

If You don't,
You're gonna have me on Your hands.

- Pull over! Pull over!
- Hey!

Good morning. How are you?
All right, man. Doing very well.

Few people understand the psychology
of dealing with a highway traffic cop.

Your normal speeder will panic
and immediately pull over to the side.

This is wrong.
It arouses contempt in the cop heart.

Make the bastard chase you.
He will follow.

But he won't know what to make of your blinker
signal that says you're about to turn right.

This is to let him know you're
pulling off for a proper place to talk.

It'll take him a moment to realize he's
about to make a 180-degree turn, at speed.

But you will be ready.
Brace for the "G" s.

Fast heel-toe work.

Hi. How are you?

Just what in the hell
did you think you were doing?

I wanna know.
Let me see your license.

Oh, yeah, of course.
Right here.

Oh, my gosh.

It's me.

May I please have that?

I knew I was fucked.

See you have two cases of beer,
a basket of grapefruit …

stack of T-shirts and towels,
light bulbs.

Do you realize what you did
when you drive like that?

Yeah, I know. I'm guilty.

I understand that. I knew
it was a crime. I did it anyway.

Shit, why argue?
I'm a fucking criminal. Look at me.

You have a strange attitude.

Maybe.

You know, I have a feeling
you need to take a nap.

There's a rest area just up ahead.

I'd like you to go up there,
pull over and get a few hours' sleep.

That's not gonna help me.

I've been awake for too long. Three or
four nights, maybe. Can't even remember.

I go to sleep now,
I'm dead for 20 hours.

What are you carrying
two cases of soap for, son?

I wanna stay clean.

No.

Here's how it is.

What I put in my book, as of noon …

is that I apprehended you
for driving too fast.

I advised you to proceed
to the next rest area.

Stop!

I advised you to proceed
to the next rest area -

your stated destination, right?

And take a long nap.

Do I make myself clear?

Well … how far is Baker?

I was sort of hoping to,
I don't know, stop there for lunch.

It's not in my jurisdiction.

City limits end 2.2 miles
beyond the rest area.

Can you make it that far?

I'll try.

I've been wanting to go to Baker for
a long time. Yeah. Heard a lot about it.

Excellent seafood.

You know, I'm thinkin',
a guy with your kind of mind …

ought to try the land crab.

- Excellent seafood.
- Land crab.

All right. Why not?

Thanks for the tip.

Look at me in the eyes.

Everything all right?

May I have a little kiss
before you go?

I'm very lonely here.

Oh, Mama

Can this really be the end

I felt raped.
The pig had done me on all fronts.

And now he was going off to chuckle
about it on the west side of town …

waiting for me
to make a run for L.A.

Why, yes, Officer. Of course
I'll take advantage of that rest area.

And I can't tell you how grateful
I am for this break you wanna give me.

Get a grip, man.

If I boom straight for L.A.,
he'll bust me for sure.

No. This was not the time
for a showdown.

This was Death Valley.

Oh, fuck!

Sweet Jesus, it's him.

Oh, my God!

Shit!
Come on, you fucking bastard.

Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God.
I've got to go. I've got to -

Well, they've nailed me, goddamn it.

I'm trapped in some stinking
desert crossroads called Baker.

I don't have much time, man.
The fuckers are closing in.

- They'll hunt me down like a fucking beast.
- You sound a little paranoid.

I need a fucking lawyer immediately!

What are you doing in Baker?
Didn't you get my telegram?

What telegram, you worthless bastard?
I'll cripple your ass for this.

You brainless scumbag,
you're supposed to be in Vegas.

I rented a suite at the Flamingo.

You're supposed to be covering the
National District Attorney's conference.

I made all the reservations.
Everything is arranged.

Now, what the fuck are you doing
out there in the middle of the desert?

Nothing. Never mind.
It's all a big joke.

I'm actually, uh - I'm poolside
at the Flamingo right now …

talking through a portable phone
some dwarf brought out from the casino.

Yeah, I have total credit here. Don't come
anywhere near this place, you bastard.

Foreigners aren't welcome here.

Well, this is how the world works.

All energy flows according
to the whims of the Great Magnet.

What a fool I was to defy him.

I was going back to Vegas.
I had no choice.

I had to get rid of the Shark.

Too many people might recognize it,
especially the Vegas police.

Luckily, my credit card
was still technically valid.

Now this was a superior machine.

Ten grand worth of gimmicks
and high-priced special effects.

The rear windows leapt up with a touch
like frogs in a dynamite pond.

The dashboard was full of esoteric
lights and dials and meters …

that I would never understand.

If the pigs were gathering in Vegas …

I felt the drug culture
should be represented as well.

And there was a certain bent appeal
in the notion of running a savage burn …

on one Las Vegas hotel …

and then just wheeling across town
and checking into another.

Me and a thousand ranking cops
from all over America.

Why not move confidently
into their midst?

Welcome to the Flamingo Hotel, sir.

Sir?

Yeah, hi. Right. Okay.

Let me stay in your arms

I'm addicted to your charms

You're gettin' to be a habit with me

I used to think your love
was something that I

Could take

- Or leave alone
- My arrival was badly timed.

But now I couldn't do
without my supply

I need you for my own

This here model is one
that we had to use …

when we took on them little peckerheads
down there at Kent State.

This baby here -

I'm a police chief from Michigan.

Look, fella, I have explained to you.

I have this postcard which says that
I have a reservation in this hotel.

I'm very sorry, sir,
but you're on the late list.

- So your reservation has been
transferred to … - It's okay.

The … Moonlight Motel …

which is just out
on Paradise Boulevard.

We've already paid
for our goddamn room!

It's actually a very fine place of lodging,
and it's only 16 blocks from here.

It has a pool, sauna, steam.

You listen to me,
you filthy little faggot!

I want a manager
down here now! Now!

Because I'm sick of listening
to your dog shit!

I am … very sorry, sir.

- Get off of me! Get away from me!
- Can I call you a cab?

Sure, and I'll call you a cocksucker!

Of course, I could hear what
the clerk was really saying.

Listen, you fuzzy little shithead!

I've been fucked around in my time …

by a fairly good cross section …

of mean-tempered, rule-crazy cops …

and now … it's my turn.

So fuck you, Officer.
I'm in charge.

Hey, listen, I really hate to interrupt …

but I wonder if I could slide on through
and get out of your way.

The name is Raoul Duke. I think
my attorney made the reservations.

Duke, Raoul.

Certainly, sir.

My bags - My bags are out there
in that white Cadillac convertible there.

Maybe somebody could
bring it to the room for me.

Oh, yeah, uh, let me get
a quart of Wild Turkey …

two-fifths of Bacardi …

- some ice for the room, and let's see -
- You just calm down!

Shit, let's try some lime chunks.
What do you think?

I say okay.

- You don't worry about a thing.
- Now, calm down.

You don't hesitate
to call me - Sven.

All right, Sven.

Thank you very much.

- You - You -
- I know, I know, I know.

It's hideous. You're gonna
be fine, though. You're doing well.

I'll see you later.
Wait. Don't touch it.

Good night. Pardon me. Bye, Sven.

Look what you did!
Look what you did!

Goddamn you, we wouldn't stay
in this hotel if you begged us!

Magic moments

When two hearts are caring

Magic moments

- Memories we've been sharing
- Home, sweet home.

What kind of sick shit -

Oh, shit!

Shit. What the fuck?

Stop, stop, stop.

She's biting my leg off!
You degenerate pig. Please!

Can't be helped.

- My fucking leg!
- That's "Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds."

Lucy, be cool, goddamn it.

Remember what happened
at the airport, okay? Come on.

No more of that, okay?
That's my client, Lucy.

That's Mr. Duke, the famous journalist.

He's paying for this suite, Lucy.

He's on our side.

He loves artists.

Lucy paints portraits of Barbra Streisand.

Right?

I drew these from TV.

Really.

She came all the way down -

- What's the name of that town?
- Montana.

Montana. Just to give
these portraits to Barbra.

We're goin' over to the Americana
tonight to meet her backstage.

I desperately needed peace, rest …

sanctuary.

I hadn't counted on this:

finding my attorney on acid and locked
into some kind of preternatural courtship.

Well …

they must have, uh,
brought the car around by now.

So …

why don't, uh …

ou-yay and … I-ay …

o-gay and, uh, et-gay the …

uff-stay …

out of the unk-tray.

Absolutely. Yeah.

Let's get the stuff.

We'll be right back, Lucy.

- Give me a kiss? One kiss, one kiss.
- No.

- No. No.
- One kiss. Why not?

Okay.

Don't answer the phone.

God bless.

Well, what are your plans?

Plans?

- The child in the bedroom.
- Oh, Lucy.

I met her on the plane.

Yeah. She's a religious freak.

I gave her a cap before I realized -

Jesus, she's never even had a drink.

Well, it'll probably work out.

We can keep her loaded and then
peddle her ass at the drug convention.

Yeah, she's perfect for this gig.

These cops'll go 50 bucks a head to beat her
into submission and then gang-fuck her.

We can set her up in one
of these backstreet motels …

hang pictures of Jesus all over the room, and
then turn these fucking pigs loose on her.

Hell, she's strong, man.
She'll hold her own.

Jesus Christ, I knew you were sick …

but I never expected to hear
you actually say that kind of stuff.

You filthy bastard.

Straight economics, man.
This girl's a godsend.

Shit. She could
make us a grand a day.

That's ugly, man.
Stop talking like that.

Well, I figure she can do
about four at a time.

If we keep her full of acid, that's
more like two grand a day, maybe three.

Hold on, man.

What if I just jump on you
and beat the dog shit out of you?

Would that make you feel any better,
you filthy bastard?

All right, listen to me.

In a few hours, she'll probably
be sane enough to work herself …

into some sort of towering Jesus-based
rage at the hazy recollection …

of being seduced
by some kind of cruel Samoan …

who fed her liquor and LSD,
dragged her to a Vegas hotel room …

and then savagely penetrated
every orifice in her little body …

with his throbbing,
uncircumcised member.

That's so ugly, man.

- Fuck, truth hurts.
- That's -

- Yeah.
- That's

I wanted to help her, man.

Well, you'll go straight
to the gas chamber for this one.

Even if you manage to beat that,
they'll still send you back to Nevada …

for rape and consensual sodomy.

No, she's gotta go.

Shit.

It doesn't pay to try to
help somebody these days, huh?

Let's go.

Yeah. Americana Hotel?
I need a reservation.

For my … niece.

Look, I want her treated very gently.
She's an artist and -

Fuck off. She might seem
a trifle high-strung.

She's doing her masters thesis on, uh …

well, Barbra Streisand.

- It's time to meet Barbra.
- Last name?

I'd rather not say. My brother's
in politics. Yeah, you understand.

I felt like a Nazi,
but it had to be done.

Yeah, yeah, righto. Okay, yeah. Bye.

Yummy, yummy, yummy
I got love in my tummy

And I feel like loving you

Love is such a sweet thing
Good enough to eat thing

And it's just what I'm gonna do

Lucy was a potentially fatal
millstone on both our necks.

- Hurry the fuck up!
- There was absolutely no choice …

- but to cut her adrift …
- Jesus Christ. Take your time!

and hope her memory was fucked.

Here's an extra ten bucks, buddy.
Make sure she gets there safe.

That's that.

Hey, man, take off slowly.
Don't attract attention.

Yummy, yummy, yummy
I got love in my tummy

Let's find a good seafood restaurant
and eat some red salmon.

I feel a powerful lust for red salmon.

Oh, no, man. We're gonna be late.

We gotta go.

Goddamn mescaline.

Why the fuck can't they
make it a little less pure?

I welcome you …

to the third National
D.A.'s Convention …

on Narcotics and Dangerous Drugs.

And now, without further ado …

the man who will define this cancer
eating at the heart of America …

Dr. L. Ron Bumquist.

I saw these bastards in Easy Rider,
but I didn't believe they were real.

Not like this, man,
not hundreds of them.

They're actually pretty nice people
once you get to know them.

Know them? I know these people
in my goddamn blood.

Don't say that word around here.
You'll get them excited.

- You're right.
- The most efficient way for us to do this …

is for each one of us …

to try and attempt …

to imagine what it is like inside …

of the possessed mind of the addict.

For example …

a dope fiend …

refers to the reefer butt …

as a "roach"…

because …

it resembles a cockroach.

What the fuck are these people
talking about?

You've got to be crazy on acid to think
a joint looks like a goddamn cockroach.

You will notice
that I have distinguished …

four-four distinct states of being …

in the cannabis or marijuana society.

They are cool, groovy …

hip and square.

Seldom, if ever -

Too crazy, man. He's too crazy.

They'll shoot you down.
What a fucking nightmare.

If he figures out what is happening …

then he can rise one notch …

and become hip.

And then if he can convince himself …

to approve of what is happening …

then he becomes groovy.

Groovy.

And then, after that,
he can actually raise himself …

to the rank of cool.

He can become one of those …

cool guys.

Dr. Bumquist.

Do you think the anthropologist Margaret
Mead's strange behavior of late …

could be explained
by a private marijuana addiction?

Good question.

I'm not really sure I can answer that.

But what I can tell you, sir,
is if Margaret Mead …

at her age …

smoked grass …

she'd have one hell of a trip.

One more layer of deviance
to the woman.

This is fuckin' bullshit.

I'll be out in the casino.

Down in front, man!

Thank you very much. Thank you.

- Thank you. Thank you for having me.
- Projector, please.

- Excuse me.
- All right.

Know your dope fiend.

Your life may depend on it.

You will not be able to see his eyes
because of Tea-Shades …

but his knuckles will be white
from inner tension.

And his pants will be
crusted with semen …

from constantly jacking off
when he can't find a rape victim.

He will stagger and babble
when questioned.

He will not respect your badge.

The dope fiend fears nothing.

He will attack for no reason,
with every weapon at his command …

- including yours.
- Cheers.

Beware: Any officer apprehending
a suspected marijuana addict …

Pardon me.

- Should use all necessary force immediately.
- Sorry. Pardon me.

One stitch in time on him
will usually save nine …

on you -

Oh, God. Oh, God.
Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.

Oh, God. Oh, God.

Yeah?

Yes, Mr. Duke, hello.
You have one message.

Call Lucy.

- The Americana Hotel, room 1600.
- Oh, fuck.

Hello?

Lucy called.

What?

- Lucy called.
- What?

Lucy called, man.

Those two men in the dock,
they gave me the LSD …

and they took me to the hotel.

I don't know what they
done to me, but I remember …

it was horrible.

They gave you what?

LSD.

Castration!

Double castration!

- Where's my .357?
- Who the fuck knows, man?

You can't leave me alone
in this snake pit.

You bastard, what did you do
with my .357?

- This room is in my name.
- Well, tough titty, man.

Okay, goddamn it!

You're right.

She's my problem. I'll call her.
I'll get her off our backs.

- Hey, it's gone too fucking far, man.
- Well, I'll take that into consideration.

- Relax.
- Relax!

Let me handle this.

- Where are my shoes?
- The Americana Hotel.

- What did you do with my goddamn shoes?
- Room 1600, please.

As your attorney, I advise you to take
a hit out of the little brown bottle …

in my shaving kit.

You won't need much.

Just a … tiny taste.

Let's have it. There it is.

- What is this shit?
- That stuff …

makes pure mescaline
seem like ginger beer, man.

- Adrenochrome.
- Adrenochrome?

Hello.

Hi, Lucy. God bless.

Yeah, it's me.

What? Hell, no. I taught the bastard
a lesson he'll never forget.

What? No, not dead.

But he won't be bothering
anybody for a while.

Yeah, I left him out there.

I stomped him.
I pulled all his teeth out.

I remember thinking, "Jesus …

what a terrible thing to lay
on somebody with a head full of acid."

But we have a problem.

That bastard cashed a bad check
downstairs and gave you as a reference.

They'll be looking for both of you.

Yeah, I know, Lucy, but you can't
judge a book by its cover.

Some people are just basically rotten.

Anyway, the last thing in the world
you wanna do is call this hotel again.

They'll trace the call,
put you straight behind bars.

No, I'm moving
to the Tropicana right away.

I'll use a different name.
I'll let you know what it is.

I gotta get off.

Probably have this phone tapped, baby.

Yeah, I know, it was horrible,
but it's all over now.

Oh, my God.
There's someone at the door.

There's someone at the door.

Christ! Hey!

No! I'm innocent! It was Duke!

It was Duke! Lucy! Lucy!

Don't put that thing on me.

Well -

That's that.

That's the last we should
be hearing from Lucy, man.

She's probably stuffing herself
down the incinerator about now.

You know what we need?

We need some opium.

I remember slumping on the bed.

His performance
had given me a bad jolt.

For a moment,
I thought his mind had snapped …

that he actually believed he was being
attacked by invisible enemies.

But the room was quiet again.

Where'd you get this?

Never mind.
It's absolutely pure.

What kind of monster client
have you hooked up with this time?

Satanism freak.

I think there's only
one source for this stuff -

the, uh, adrenaline gland …

from a living human body.

I know. The guy didn't
have any cash to pay me.

He offered me human blood, said it would take
me higher than I'd ever been in my life.

- I thought he was kidding …
- Oh.

So I told him I'd just as soon have
an ounce or so of pure adrenochrome …

or maybe just a fresh
adrenaline gland …

to chew on.

I could already feel
the stuff working on me.

The first wave felt like a combination
of mescaline and methedrine.

Maybe I should take a swim,
I thought.

Yes, sir.

They nailed this guy
for child molesting.

He swore he didn't do it.

"Why should I fuck with children?"
he said. "They're too small."

Christ, what could I say?

Even a goddamn werewolf
is entitled to legal counsel.

I didn't dare to turn the creep down.

He might have picked up a letter opener
and gone after my …

pineal gland.

- You know?
- Yeah.

- Crazy.
- Why not?

Shit. We should get some of that.

Just … eat a big handful
and see what happens.

Some of what?

Extract of pineal.

Sure, that's a good idea.

One whiff of that stuff will turn you
into something out of a goddamn …

medical encyclopedia, man.

Beautiful fucking tits.

Man, your head will
swell up like a watermelon.

Probably gain about
a hundred pounds in two hours.

Right!

Grow claws, bleeding warts.

Yes.

And then you'd notice
about six huge, hairy tits …

swelling up on your back.

Fantastic!

You'd go blind.

Your body would turn to wax.

They'd have to put you
in a wheelbarrow.

And when you scream for help …

you'll sound like a raccoon.

Man, I'll try just about anything …

but I'd never in hell
touch a pineal gland.

Finish the fucking story, man!

What happened?
What about the glands?

Jesus, that stuff got right
on top of you, didn't it?

Look at your face.
You're about to explode.

Maybe you could just …

shove me into the pool.

Man, if I put you in the pool right now,
you'll sink like a goddamn stone.

You took too much, man.
You took too much. Too much.

Don't try and fight it.

You'll get brain bubbles,
strokes, aneurysms.

You'll just wither up and die.

… and continue killing
innocent people!

… allow the last hopes for peace
and freedom of millions of people …

to be suffocated.

So tonight, to you …

the great silent majority -

Sacrifice and sacrifice …

and sacrifice and sacrifice
and sacrifice and sacrifice …

and sacrifice and sacrifice
and sacrifice and sacrifice.

I hear the cottonwoods whispering above

Tammy, Tammy

Tammy's in love

What kind of rat-bastard psychotic would
play that song right now, at this moment?

Tammy, Tammy

When I came to …

the general back-alley ambience
of the suite was so rotten …

so incredibly foul.

How long had I been lying there?

All these signs of violence.

What had happened?

There was evidence in this room
of excessive consumption …

of almost every type of drug
known to civilized man since 1544 A.D.

Oh, Debbie.

Thank God.

Oh, Debbie. Look.

What kind of addict would need all these
coconut husks and crushed honeydew rinds?

Would the presence of junkies account
for all these uneaten french fries?

These puddles of glazed ketchup
on the bureau?

Maybe so …

but then why all this booze …

and these crude pornographic
photos smeared with mustard …

that had dried to a hard, yellow crust?

These were not the hoofprints
of your normal God-fearing junkie.

It was too savage, too aggressive.

- Put your hands where I can see them.
- What? What?

Jesus God, man. Huh?

Put your hands where I can see them.
Put your hands where I can see them!

Grim memories and bad flashbacks.

Get a grip.

Maintain.

How many nights and weird mornings
had this shit been going on?

Something ugly had happened.
I was sure of it.

Who is that? Oh.
Shit, that's me.

- Help me!
- What the fuck?

Oh, shit.

- You're under arrest!
- She must have used a pass key.

I was polishing my shoes in the closet when
I noticed her sneaking in, so I took her.

- What made you do it? Who paid you off?
- Nobody! I'm the maid!

Bullshit! You're just as much
a part of it as they are.

Part of what?

The goddamn dope ring. You must
know what's going on in this hotel.

Why do you think we're here?

I know you're the cops, but I thought
you were just here for the convention.

I swear. All I wanted to do
was clean up the room.

- I don't know anything about no dope.
- Come on, baby.

Don't try to tell us you never heard
of the Grange Gorman.

I swear to Jesus
I never heard of that stuff.

Maybe she's telling the truth.
Maybe she's not part of it.

I swear I'm not. I swear.

In that case, maybe she can help.

Oh, yes, I help you all you want.

- I hate dope.
- So do we.

I think we should put her on the payroll,
see what she comes up with.

- You think you can handle it?
- What?

One phone call every day.

Don't worry if it doesn't add up.
That's our problem.

Y-You'd pay me for that?

You're damn right we would.

But the first time that you say anything
about this to anybody …

you will go straight to prison
for the rest of your life.

- What's your name?
- Alice.

Prove it!

- Okay.
- Just ring Linen Service and ask for Alice.

All right, Alice.

You'll be contacted
by Inspector Rock, Arthur Rock.

He'll be posing as a politician, but
you'll have no problem recognizing him.

That's right. Inspector Rock
will pay you in cash …

- $1,000 on the ninth of every month.
- Oh, Lord!

I'd do just about
anything for that.

- You and a lot of other people.
- Come here.

The password is:
"One hand washes the other."

The minute you hear that,
you say, "I fear nothing."

- Say it.
- I fear nothing.

- Say it again!
- I fear nothing!

Get the fuck out of here, okay?
Oh, yeah, listen.

Nice meeting you.

Don't bother to make up the room.

Just leave a pile of towels and soap
outside the door exactly at midnight.

That way we won't have to risk another
one of these little incidents, will we?

- Whatever you say, gentlemen.
- Thank God for decent people.

- Say it again!
- I fear nothing!

Terrible gibberish. Splintered
memories looming up out of the time fog.

Just press play.

This is it, the American Dream.

Shit, we're sitting
on the main nerve right now.

Yeah, don't get me started.

The owner always wanted to run away
and join the circus when he was a kid.

Now the son of a bitch owns the circus.

Man, a real license to steal.

Oh, yeah. The American Dream
come true, man.

Pure Horatio Alger.

Yeah. Welcome to the happy place.

Listen, let's get down
to brass tacks here.

How much for the ape?

How much you got?

How much do you think you'd take
for the ape? Just wait here. I'll be back.

Madness. It made no sense at all.

I desperately needed the facts.

Oh, God! Oh, God! Little old person
coming through the looking glass!

What the fuck is going on?

Where's the ape, man?
Where's the ape?

Forget about it.
He attacked an old man.

Bit off the head of the bartender,
then the cops came and took him away.

Is that your car?

- What's the bail? I want that ape.
- There's too many zoos!

- Someone should stop them!
- You poor fools just don't understand.

This car is property of the World Bank.
That money goes to Italy.

You can't put on a circus
without a tent.

- The top is completely jammed.
- You're right.

There's something wrong
with the motor.

We're all riders of the storm.

- Where are you, you fucking monkey?
- You can't do that!

God Almighty!
You people voted for Hubert Humphrey …

and you killed Jesus.

There was every reason to believe
that we'd been heading for trouble …

that we'd pushed our luck a bit too far.

Oh, gosh! God.

Right.

The possibility …

of physical and mental collapse …

is now very real.

No sympathy for the devil.

Keep that in mind.

Uh, buy the ticket …

uh, take the ride.

Hello. You folks want
to buy some heroin?

Hey, honkies! Goddamn it!

Pull ahead.

I want to sell you
some pure fucking scag!

Cheap! The real stuff.

That's right.
I just got back from Vietnam.

Scag.

I wanna sell you
some pure fucking scag.

Pure fuck!

Now hear me, you bastard!
Pull over! I'll kill you!

Pull over! Come on!

Oh, shit. Oh, oh.

Okay. Let's see here.

The mentality of Las Vegas
is so grossly atavistic …

that a really massive crime
often slips by unrecognized.

North Vegas is where you go when you've
fucked up once too often on the Strip …

and when you're not even welcome
in the cut-rate downtown places.

The North Star Coffee Lounge seemed like
a fairly safe haven from our storms.

No hassles, no talk.

Just a place to rest and regroup.

I wasn't even hungry.

There was nothing in the atmosphere
of the North Star to put me on my guard.

Two glasses of ice water with ice.

Two glasses of ice water with ice.

Two.

She looked like a burnt-out
caricature of Jane Russell.

She was definitely in charge here.

He did it very casually …

but I knew that our peace
was about to be shattered.

What was that?

What is this?

- It's a napkin.
- Don't give me that bullshit.

I know what that means,
you fat goddamn pimp bastard!

That's the name of a horse
I used to own, ma'am.

- What's wrong with you?
- The question mark was emphasized.

You listen to me, you son of a bitch.

I gotta take a lot of shit in this place,
but I don't have to take it off no spic pimp!

Anybody that knows anything
knows that.

Go on! Pay your check
and get the hell out of here!

You want me to call the cops?
I'll call the fuck -

Oh, shit.

Fuck.

You wanna call the cops?

How much is that
lemon meringue pie?

Her eyes were turgid with fear,
but her brain was functioning …

- on some basic motor survival level.
- Thirty-five cents.

- How much is that lemon meringue pie?
- Thirty-five cents.

What a waste of talent.

No, honey, I mean the whole pie.

The whole pie.

What, three?

Three? Four?

Five?

Call it five.

I'll be in the car.

The sight of the blade
had triggered bad memories.

The glazed look in her eyes
said her throat had been cut.

She was still in the grip
of paralysis when we left.

It was all over now.

We'd abused every rule
that Vegas lived by.

Burning the locals, abusing
the tourists, terrifying the help.

The only chance now, I felt …

was the possibility that
we'd gone to such excess …

that nobody in the position to bring
the hammer down on us …

could possibly believe it.

Fifteen minutes to get
my attorney to the airport.

Could we make it?

Christ!

No! Oh, fuck!

- Fuck.
- Shit! Shit!

Oh, God. Oh, God.
You son of a bitch!

Oh, God.

- You're going the wrong way.
- Fuck off, fat boy.

Stop! You fucker!

Take off right here.
Take off right here.

Goddamn it. We're lost.

What are we doing out here
on this godforsaken road?

The airport's over there.

Goddamn it! It's over there.

I've never missed a plane yet.

Hold on!

All right. I'm gonna drop you
right next to the plane.

Fuck you. I'm gonna have to take
the blame. They'll crucify me.

- Right here, right here.
- Ridiculous, man.

Just say you were hitchhiking
to the airport, and I picked you up.

- You bastard.
- Get out.

- Hey, hey!
- Hey, listen.

Don't take any guff from these swine.

If you have any trouble, remember:

You can always send a telegram
to the right people.

Oh, yeah, explaining my position. Some
asshole wrote a poem about that once.

Probably good advice,
if you have shit for brains.

There he goes …

one of God's own prototypes.

A high-powered mutant of some kind
never even considered for mass production.

Too weird to live, and too rare to die.

There you stood on
the edge of your feather

Expecting to fly

We're all wired
into a survival trip now.

No more of the speed
that fueled the '60s.

That was the fatal flaw
in Tim Leary's trip.

He crashed around America,
selling "consciousness expansion" …

without ever giving a thought to the grim
meat-hook realities that were lying in wait …

for all those people
who took him seriously.

All those pathetically eager
acid freaks …

who thought they could buy peace
and understanding for three bucks a hit.

But their loss and failure …

is ours too.

What Leary took down with him was
the central illusion of a whole lifestyle …

that he helped create.

A generation of permanent cripples …

failed seekers …

who never understood the essential
old-mystic fallacy of the acid culture:

the desperate assumption
that somebody …

or at least some force …

is tending the light
at the end of the tunnel.

There was only one road back to L.A.

U.S. Interstate 15.

Just a flat out high-speed burn
through Baker and Barstow and Berdoo.

Then onto the Hollywood Freeway,
straight into frantic oblivion …

safety, obscurity.

Just another freak …
in the freak kingdom.

I was born
in a cross-fire hurricane

But I howled at my ma
in the driving rain

But it's all right now

In fact it's a gas

But it's all right

I'm Jumpin' Jack Flash
It's a gas, gas, gas

I was raised
by a toothless, bearded hag

I was schooled with a strap
right across my back

But it's all right now

In fact it's a gas

But it's all right

I'm Jumpin' Jack Flash
It's a gas, gas, gas

I was drowned
I was washed up and left for dead

I fell down to my feet

And I saw they bled

Yeah, yeah, I frowned

At the crumbs
of a crust of bread

Yeah, yeah, yeah
I was crowned

With a spike
right through my head

Yeah, yeah, yeah

But it's all right now

In fact it's a gas

But it's all right

I'm Jumpin' Jack Flash
It's a gas, gas, gas

Jumpin' Jack Flash It's a gas

Bright light city
gonna set my soul

It's gonna set my soul on fire

I got a whole lotta money
that's a-ready to burn

So get those stakes up high

There's a thousand pretty women
waitin' out there

They're all waitin'
The devil may care

And I'm just a devil
with love to spare

So Viva Las Vegas

Viva Las Vegas

Viva Las Vegas

How I wish that there were more

Than the 24 hours in the day

Even if I ran out of sleep

Boy, I wouldn't sleep a minute away

Oh, there's blackjack and poker
and the roulette wheel

A fortune won and lost
on every deal

All you need is sonar
and nerves of steel

So Viva Las Vegas

Viva Las Vegas

Viva Las Vegas

Viva Las Vegas
where the neon signs are flashing

And the one-armed bandits crashing

All those hopes down the drain

Viva Las Vegas
turning day into nighttime

Turning night into daytime

If you see it once
you'll never be the same again

I gotta keep on runnin'
Gonna have me some fun

If it costs me my very last dime

If I wind up broke
then I'll always remember

That I had a swingin' time

Oh, I'm gonna give it
everything I've got

Lady Luck's with me
Dice, stay hot

Got coke up my nose
to dry away the snot

So Viva Las Vegas

Viva Las Vegas

Viva Las Vegas

Viva, viva

Las Vegas