Fast Life (1932) - full transcript

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Sandy, you shouldn't
try that thing

on the admiral's barge.

You say that again,

you're gonna get your throat
caught in this!

[ Bell ringing ]

Someday, you're gonna
find yourself

without anything
to worry about.



It's gonna worry
you to death.

Yeah, but I --

I know what we've invented.
You think I'm nuts?

Well, I ain't sure.

Listen,
non compos mentis,

how long we been
in this Navy together?

Oh, about --
Never mind.

No matter how long it is,
you've made it seem longer.

The point is
that in 10 days,

we'll be out
of this damned Navy.

Yeah, and I'd rather
spend those 10 days

out of the brig.

[ Whistling ]

Hey.



Suppose this freak carburetor
don't work.

What do we tell
the admiral?

We won't have to
tell him anything.

He'll tell us.

Oh, we'll get the brig
for this.

Oh, shut up.
Turn her over.

[ Engine sputtering ]

[ Engine starts ]

We're on our way
to our first million.

Yeah, million headaches.

[ Whistling ]

[ Whistling ]

Listen.

She's purring
like a pussy.

Hey, don't mention cats,
will you?

They're bad luck.

Say, sailor, if this
carburetor works out,

we're gonna be
on our feet.

Yeah, and if it don't,
we're gonna be on our...

[ Explosion ]

[ Bell ringing ]

[ Bugle playing ]

[ Siren wailing ]

Abandon ship!

Hey, Bumpy!
Drop that fire extinguisher!

Captain!
What caused that fire?

Uh, it didn't work.

What didn't work?

Well, you see,
we, uh, we got

a, uh, a thing
we were gonna...

Well, my advice to you
is to forget this idea

of a gas-turbine engine.

It's as impossible
as perpetual motion.

We spent thousands
in experiments,

and if we can't make it work,
nobody can,

so let's don't waste
each other's time

in such nonsense.

I don't think
he wants it.

Say, listen.

Do you see
that electric light?

Yes.
Edison.

You see that telephone?

Bell.

You -- you -- you see
that clock?

Uh...
Ingersoll.

Yeah,
and do you see that door?

Scram.

And, mister,
through that door

goes the greatest internal
combustion engine since...

Since Henry Ford
invented the gin mill.

Count 10,
now, count 10.

I can do what with it?

You heard me!

And you can do
the same with this!

Huh.

I don't think
he wants it.

Oh, the poor dumb cluck.

Just the same,

that's gonna make us
millionaires.

But I don't want to be
a millionaire.

I want to eat.

We got to get
a meal ticket.

I'm hungry.

Don't you know
someplace we could go?

Well, there are the races
at Tijuana.

Are you a good judge
of horse flesh?

I never tasted any.

[ Grunts ]

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 10.

Hmm.

Just because I won't
eat a horse.

How -- how do you know
we're gonna be able

to get a job
on one of these scows?

Oh, don't worry.

I have hunch that prosperity
is just around the corner.

Yeah, but we're on
a merry-go-round.

There ain't
no corners there.

Lay off the wisecracks.

If you ever really
started to work,

you'd be too lazy to stop.

Oh, is that so?
Yeah.

Well, why don't you
pull the scow then?

Sit down, will you?

Now look
what you've done.

You in a rowboat,
not a dance hall.

Oh, you make me do all
the work all the time.

Well, what else
are you good for?

Well, I could eat
if we had something to eat.

Oh, come on. Row the boat,
and I'll get the job.

Pull on around there.

Pull over this way.

Grab hold of my hand.

Did you swallow
much water?

I think
I left some in there.

Here, lean over.

[ Laughing ]

What's the matter?

Oh, that tickles!

Oh, don't be silly.

Help!

Help!

Here, just a minute!

Grab hold of that!

Help!
Go on.
Get hold of that.

Help. Help.

I'm drowning.

Help.

Help.

Help!

Don't get panicky.

I'll get you.

Let go of me!
Let go of me!

Just let go of me!

Oh!

Let me help him.
I'll help him.
Grab him.

Come on, pal.
Come up here.

Oh.
I'm glad you didn't drown.

Come on, lady.
Let me help you up.

Hold on.

Whew.

Woman, you sure
pack a mean wallop.

Come on, dear pal,
while I first-aid you.

Ugh.
Ugh.

Shirley: Oh, I'm sorry I had
to hit him so hard.

Remember,
you're not 12 miles out.

Oh, excuse me!

Didn't I tell you prosperity
was just around the corner?

Yeah, but this ain't
getting us a job.

What?!

Being run down
by the wealthy classes?

Bacteria, don't be silly.

Back to what?
Oh, come on.

Follow me and do as I do.
Come on.

Oh, I hope
you start eating.

Mm, some boat.

Yeah.
That's a nifty, ain't it?

Well...

What do you mean by running over
us and breaking up our boat?

Do you think you own the ocean?

Well, I -- I'm awfully
sorry, honestly,

but I didn't see you.

Sorry?

You think that's
gonna square it?

Well, of course,
I'll do anything I can.

I'll pay for your boat,
and I'll put you ashore

any place you say.

Where were you going?
Where are you going?

Catalina Island.
Where are you going?

Catalina Island.

In a rowboat?

Oh, no, no, no.

You're taking us.

You said you'd put us
ashore anyplace, didn't you?

Why, yes, of course.

Alright.
Let's go.

[ Engine rumbling ]

What are you
going to do?

See that this tub
gets to Catalina

without hitting everything
in the ocean.

Hey, senseless.
Who, me?

But off the galley
and hustle up some food.

Oh, Skipper,
you're marvelous.

I hope they got some chicken
or something.

I like your nerve.

That's a good start.

Gradually,
you'll like all of me.

Bumpy: Hello, there, Beulah.

Here.

Don't you get tough with me.

I'll eat you up.

Chicken!

Well, spank me naked.

Say, it's pretty good old tub
you got here.

Know anything
about boats?

Know everything
about boats.

We was connected
with the largest

shipping line
in America!

What line?
The U.S. Navy.

I come from an old
boating family.

You do?

Jameson?
John D. Jameson,

the builder
of the famous racing boats?

Yep, my father.

Your father?

Whew,
what a break for him!

We've got some speed
he's gonna use.

Ow! Ow!
Take him off!

Yeah! Hey!
What?

Ugh!

Call your shots, will you?

Financial statements
you asked for, Mr. Jameson.

Thanks.

Well, there's the bad news,
Clarence.

Hmm.

Think your bank can keep me
out of receivership?

We'll do our best.
You know that.

There's one thing the bank
will insist on, though.

You'll have to stop wasting
thousands of dollars

every year
on these racing boats.

What, give up
the International Cup?

Why, Clarence,
where's your sporting blood,

your patriotism?

It isn't a question
of patriotism, Mr. Jameson.

It's a question
of cold business necessity.

Hey, what's this
third item here?

$10,000,
notes past due.

Oh.

That's what Steve Oldham
owes me for those speedboats

I built for his concession
at the pier.

Steve Oldham?
Yeah.

Great Scott.

Did you know that he skipped
town last night

and left a string of debts
a mile long?

Is that right?
Right.

Well, that's something else
to worry about.

Ooh, Skipper!
I've had an accident!

I ran down a rowboat
and nearly drowned two sailors.

Good grief, daughter!
Oh, it's alright.

I rescued them.
One of them couldn't swim,

so I had to go overboard
and get him,

and he put up
an awful struggle,

got frightened,
you know,

and I had to hit him
terribly hard, poor fellow,

and, Skipper,
is he handsome!

Here's something for you
to look into, Clarence.

Yeah, Shirley.

Oh, hello, Clarence.
I'm sorry I didn't see you.

I guess I'm all excited.

Yes, you must have had
rather a thrilling day.

And I brought them along
with me, Skipper.

They're looking for work,
ex-Navy men,

know all about boats.

You'll find
a job for them, huh?

Jobs?
Now, wait a minute.

I'll be looking for a job myself

unless Burton
pulls things through.

But, Skipper, the accident
was all my fault.

We've got to do
something!

Why, they might sue us.

Alright. Alright.
I'll do what I can.

Thank heavens you didn't
run over a battleship.

Aw, thanks, Skipper.

So long, Clarence.
See you later.

Bye, Shirley.

[ Laughter ]

It sounded like the launching
of a dreadnought.

Woman: Yeah, I'd like to see
you do any better!

Okay, baby.
Okay.

Don't you do a jackknife now
and get hurt.

Aw, shut up.
I got to eat.

Watch out, girls.
Here I go!

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Now, watch, girls.

Now, watch the old professor.

[ Laughter ]

That was terrible!

How was that, beautiful?
It was awful.

Oh, Shirley, I think
that was wonderful.

[ Shirley speaking
indistinctly ]

Hey, scram, Sandy, scram!

But the big one had gone down
for the second time

before I got him!
-Oh!

Submerge!
Submerge!

Either that or go under.

Shirley:
Watch your step.

So anyway, I had to dive
overboard and rescue him,

and, of course, he couldn't swim
a stroke, so I had to hit him!

And anyway, the other one
was standing on the boat here,

you know, yelling and waving!

Here is one of them now.

He really couldn't swim
a stroke, could he?

Uh -- uh, no,
sir...Uh, yes.

What did you say?

I said, "He really couldn't
swim a stroke, could he?"

No, ma'am.

I bet you'll win a Carnegie
medal for that, Shirley.

Where is he?

Why, I...

Well, he's --

he's, uh,
taking a bath.

You certainly can swim
like a fish.

Sandy:
I ought to, beautiful.

I was champion of the old
battlewagon last year.

[ Scatting ]

Shh.
Stop that.

Have you been
over here long?

No, I just landed.

I came over with some goofy
old millionaire's daughter.

She ran over my rowboat,

and I ribbed her into jumping
overboard in her BVDs.

She thought
I couldn't swim.

[ Scatting ]

♪ Scrammy, scrammy,
scrammy ♪

Sandy: ...this morning?

She's uptown now
getting her rich papa

to give me a swell job.

Is that so?

And that's the story
as told to me

by an old sea captain
in Switzerland.

Get your clothes
and get off my boat.

Oh, now, listen, please.

How am I gonna get
back to San Pedro?

Swim, Mr. Champion.

Swim.

It's only 25 miles.

And don't forget,
that's my bathing suit.

Okay.
Okay.

If that's the way you feel
about it, take it.

-Oh!
-Oh!

So prosperity is just
around the corner.

Somebody must have
moved the corner.

Oh, how did I know
she couldn't take a joke?

You're a fine guy to be
handling these wealthy dames.

You're not so hot.

Now, why wouldn't I be
in a jam?

With you acting
as lookout,

it's a wonder
I ain't in jail.

Well, didn't I try
to tip you off?

Everybody could see you
for miles around.

Why didn't you cut out
the dives?

Listen, you...

Hi, officer.

Nice day today.

Yeah, and the paper said
fair weather Saturday,

probably followed by Sunday.

You boys got a job?

Why, uh, yes.
I...We...

No, but you know
where we could get one,

maybe a little one
in a restaurant or something?

I thought so.

Well, you birds be off
this island by 6:00,

or I'll fix it so you'll
be working for the city.

Uh, Mr. Officer?

When does
the next boat sail?

At 10:00 tonight.

Well, it looks like
we're working for the city.

Not unless your gab
puts us there.

Listen, the next time

you shift your big mouth
into high gear,

be sure your brain
is turning over.

[ Sighs ]

You hurt my feelings.

Two, please.
Two what?

What time does
the next boat start?

Why, immediately, ladies!
Step right aboard.

The boats in the race will
start just in a few minutes!

Prosperity
has turned the corner.

I told you, pal.
But...

Right this way!
What the...

What's the matter
with you?

Have you gone to pieces?

Ixnay ackingcray.

What?
Get those boats started.

If we work fast, we might
grab up enough coin

to get off this island.

But we'll go to jail
fooling around
with those boats!

We're going to jail anyway.
What's the difference?

Oh, about six years.

Oh, get on there.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
ladies and gentlemen!

Ride in a real racing boat
in a real race!

If you're in the boat that wins,
you'll get a ride free!

Absolutely!
Right this way, girls.

Thank you.
Right down the gangplank.

Aw, nuts, popcorn,
chewing gum and candy.

Sandy: Right this way,
ladies and gentlemen!

Which boat do we take?

Take the one
in the water, lady.

[ Both laughing ]

Isn't he funny?

Sandy: If you're in the boat
that wins...

50 cents, 4 bits,
a half a dollar, Pop.

-I'm paying for the party.
-Right.

I'm so glad
to get a boat ride.

Well, I am glad, too.
Right this way!

Hey, hey, hey!

If you're in the boat that wins,
you get a ride free

for the thrill of your life!

Which boat
do you think will win?

Maybe both of them.

Oh, wouldn't that
be lovely?

Right.
Here you are.

There you are.
Dollar and a half today.

Are these really the fastest
boats in the world?

Absolutely, lady!

They go so fast,
they blow your sins away!

[ Giggling ]

How'd you know?

Ain't this
the cutest thing?

Is this
an unsinkable boat?

Yeah, unless we get
into soft water.

Has it got
a round bottom?

What?
Has it got a round bottom?

Sandy: The thrill of a lifetime,
that's what it is,

the thrill of a lifetime.

Right this way, the thrill
of a lifetime for 50 cents,

4 bits or half of a dollar.

Hurry, hurry, hurry!

Well, a new idea,
isn't it?

Oh, it's the laziest thing
on Earth.

It's the fastest thing
on the water.

Pick your boat, Pops.
The race is starting.

You'll get the speed thrill
of a lifetime.

Maybe I oughtn't to
tackle anything

with such
terrific speed.

Oh, you won't mind.

It'll be a great experience
for you,

right down the gangplank,
Pops, right down the gangplank.

[ Bumpy whistling ]

Sorry, folks.
The boats are filled.

You'll have to wait
until the next race.

You just sit in there.
We'll do the best we can.

Cast off, Bumpy.
Cast off.

Hey. We ain't
going fast, are we?

What?
You'll get me crazy.

I want them wide-open.

Make it look real.
Cast off.

Alright.

Needn't be nervous, Pop.

After you get back,
you'll have something to tell

the grandchildren about!

Step right aboard, sir.

Remember, folks, you're going to
have the thrill of a lifetime,

and the people in the boat
that wins get to ride free!

[ All cheering ]

Bumpy!
Let's go!

[ All cheering,
screaming excitedly ]

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Don't get nervous, Pop.

Pretty good boat, hey?

That's because
you ain't used to speed.

I could build a boat to go
three times this fast!

Yeah? How?

Oh, a landlubber
wouldn't understand it.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Careful.

Let's go
around the steamer.

Anything you say, dear.

Wait for me in the club,
will you?

Well, now, that was
pretty good speed.

[ Laughing ]

Why, Pop, I'm afraid
you and speed

are not very well
acquainted.

Why, I have got
an idea undercover

that would make this old tub
look like a garbage scow.

Now, you take
this fellow, Jameson.

He thinks he can build
racing boats.

Why, I'll show him a boat
that will make him think

he's building
washing machines.

Yeah?
What kind of a boat?

Oh, better than
100 miles an hour,

new type of engine.

All the big companies
plan to grab it.

Oh, is that so?

Must be a pretty
big proposition.

Big?

It's stupendous!
It's mammoth!

It's colossal,
and it's getting bigger!

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Who's that?

Oh, nobody.

You know her?

Yeah, some old
millionaire's spoiled kid,

ran down our rowboat
and then got peeved

because I convinced her

to jumping overboard
to rescue us.

No sense of humor.

Oh, you think so, hey?

Yeah, and, say,
did she burn up

when she found out
I could swim!

[ Laughing ]

I imagine she did.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

[ All cheering ]

Right this way, folks.
Remember you get a free ride!

Better stay
for your free ride, Pop.

Sorry, young man.

I'll take that free ride
some other time.

Yeah?
Come and see me.

I want to have a long talk
with you.

Okay.

Jameson!

Well, I'll be.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

[ Laughter ]

What's the matter
with her?

I didn't say anything!

[ Indistinct conversations ]

[ Laughing ]

Oh, you big dud.

-So long, Shirley.
-Hello.

Nice morning for a swim.

It was.

Brr! Temperature low
with lots of air.

You don't expect to win
a race with that stroke.

Everybody can't be perfect,
Mr. Champion.

Okay. Okay.

If that's the way
you feel about it.

Just what is wrong
with my stroke?

Everything.

You're breathing wrong!

Your head is too high,
way out of the water,

and your timing
is terrible.

Anything else?

Yep.

Your sense of humor
is bunk.

Is that so?

Can't anything
be done about it?

Oh, I don't know anything
about your sense of humor,

but I can help
your swimming.

I trained
a lot aboard ship.

The admiral
was my last pupil.

Really?
Did he learn easily?

Oh, he was swimming
before he knew it,

and I can help you,

but you'll have to follow
strict training rules,

no late hours, bed
every night at 10:00...

Yes, professor.

...and a long workout
every day.

Aye, aye, captain.

[ Boat approaching ]

Hello, Clarence.

Morning, dear.

A relative?

Why, uh, mnh-mnh.

Oh, I get it.

Well, I hope I'm not intruding.

Oh, no. We're quite fond
of older people.

Uh, Clarence,
this is Sanderson Norton,

but just call him Sandy.

Sandy, Mr. Burton.

Glad to know you,
Mr. Burton.

Gonna be
on the island long?

Yes, I live here.

Oh, fine!

Why, you didn't tell me
about Mr. Burton.

You see,
I'm living here, too.

Isn't that just dandy?

Sandy is going to train me
for the Regatta Swim.

He teaches admirals
to swim.

Huh.
How very interesting.

Yes, yes, yes, but I like
this work better.

Well, Shirley,
I'm having some friends

aboard the yacht
for lunch.

You'll come, won't you?

Now, isn't that too bad?

What's too bad?

Miss Jameson is going into
training this morning.

That's right, Clarence,
can't break training rules.

Well-spoken,
Miss Jameson.

Oh, me, lackaday,
the sacrifices

one makes in
the interest of sport.

Now, if you will pardon me,
Mr. Burton,

while I report
to the skipper.

On my return, you may
bid us bon voyage.

Excusez-moi,
s'il vous plait.

Adios, señorita.

So they think
I've retired, eh?

Ha ha!

I think they'll find out
that I'm just waking up.

Why, son, with this idea
of yours

and with what I know
about building speedboats,

we'll show them we've
only been playing with them!

Oh, we'll show them better
than 100 miles an hour.

My boy, your only fault
is modesty.

120 at least!

Maybe I was holding out
a bit, Skipper.

I bet we hit 125!

130,
or I'll furl my sail!

Oh, let's make it 150
and call it a day!

[ Both laughing ]

[ Laughing continues ]

Oh, hello, Clarence.

Sandy and I were
just discussing...

Hurricane velocity
in the South Seas.

You know, that's quite a bit
of wind down there,

Skipper, and...

Yes, I rather suspect that
all the wind

isn't confined
to the South Seas.

Mr. Jameson, I think
it's time you and I

had a private talk
if it can be arranged.

Oh, of course,
now, certainly.

Sandy, suppose you see me
in my office.

Okay.
Okay, Skipper.

I know I promised I'd quit,
but this gas turbine

is a million-dollar
commercial proposition!

Gas turbines?
Preposterous.

Not this design.

It's the greatest thing

since the invention
of the steam engine.

It'll bring orders
pouring in.

And bankrupt you
when it fails.

You'll be ruined,
your business gone.

Dad, please take
Clarence's advice.

Now, you wouldn't like
to see your old dad

sitting around
in a rocking chair

and letting America
lose that cup

without a fight,
would you?

Of course you wouldn't,
and mark my words, honey.

The old man is going
to lick them again.

Mr. Jameson, you can't build
this crazy engine.

You haven't the money.

But I have friends.

There's a dozen of them
over at the yacht club

that would jump
at the chance to come in.

Boys, I've been building winning
boats for a good many years,

and I never asked anything
from you but cheers.

You think I'm broke.

You think I can't come back.

Well, I don't have to
come back, boys,

because I've never been away,

but I'm going to have
that engine built

and a boat launched
in less than 60 days!

Can't you see, Sandy?

Dad can't afford
to make a mistake.

He's too old to start
all over again.

You won't let him,
will you?

He'll listen to you.

He thinks
an awful lot of you.

Aw, I like him, too.
He's grand.

He's the best
I've ever known.

Then you will talk him
out of that engine?

I'll try.

Oh, I knew you would
if you understood.

You're a good egg, Sandy.

Ah, don't be silly.

I'd do anything for you.

You saved my life.

Oh! I'll drown you
for that crack!

Oh!

Help, baby!

There's lifesavers,
baby!

Oh, I'll fix you
for that!

[ Screaming playfully ]

Where are you?

Stop that!
Stop!

Where are you, huh?

Sandy!
Sandy, where are you?

I told you
your stroke was funk.

I thought you were going
to teach me?

Come on, I can do a mile
before lunch.

Alright.
Follow the old master.

Can you get in?
I'll try!

Get in.
Huh?

You okay?

Oh, I'm stuck.

Huh?
Now we're gonna...

Now you're gonna swim
from St. Catherine's

right down there
Baloney Point.

Straighten your arm stroke
out a little.

Reach up more.

Don't let your elbows
touch the water

until your hands are in.

Hey, Sandy.

Take me aboard.
I'm getting tired.

Nope, another
quarter of a mile.

Don't you think
I can't do it?

I know you can.

Come on, now.

[ Both laughing ]

Whoo!

Now, by the time
you row us home,

you'll have a good workout.

Well, of all the nerve!

I won't row any man
around anybody's ocean.

Okay,
then we'll both row.

Slide over.

Alright, now.

Stroke, stroke.

You tired?
Uh-huh.

Well,
I'll give you a lift.

[ Sighs ]

Oh!

Aren't you
a bit familiar?

Unh-unh.
It's a freedom of the seas.

Say, there's a grand dance

going on
at the village tonight.

Oh. Well, I'm having dinner
tonight with...

with Mr. Burton.

But dancing is great
practice for swimming.

It develops your wind.

Well, then I'll dance
a great deal tonight...

with Mr. Burton.

Oh, Sandy!

[ Both laughing ]

How dare you!
How dare you!

Help! Help, help,
help, help, help.

Young lady,
I like your nerves.

And I like yours.

Vanilla!

Raspberry!

[ Laughs ]

Stroke.

Well, I've told you
often enough.

So what do you think,
Shirley?

Oh, Clarence,
don't be so persistent.

You never give me time
to decide if I love you.

Oh. Alright.
How much time do you need?

Hello, Shirley.

Hello, Sandy.

Hello.
It's past 10:00.

Teacher's spank.

Oh, to the devil with
that training nonsense.

Oh, no, no, Clarence.

Sandy is quite right.

I'll run right along.

Well spoken.
Marvelous pupil.

I wish I had a dozen like her,
but beginning tomorrow,

I don't think I'll
allow you out nights at all.

I told her to dance with you
tonight just for exercise.

Thank you.

Shirley, would it be breaking
training rules for me

to walk home with you?

Not if she goes
straight home.

Well, thank you.
You're very lenient.

It's my one
great failing.

[ Laughter ]

You think
you can trust us?

No, I guess
I'd better tag along.

Just forget
I'm here, though.

Now, take a deep breath
every third step like this.

One, two, three,
breathe.

One, two, three,
breathe.

One, two, three,
breathe.

One, two, three,
breathe.

One, two, three,
breathe.

One, two, three,
breathe.

You're out of step,
breathe.

One, two, three,
breathe.

One, two, three,
breathe.

One, two, three,
breathe.

One, two, three,
breathe.

One, two, three,
breathe.

One, two, three,
breathe.

Oh, that was great.

Nothing like it.

Did you
a lot of good, too.

Yes, good night.

Why, I'm gonna wait
and walk home with you.

Run along, Clarence.

Good night.

Well...
Good night.

Good night.
Sleep tight.

Ahh, nothing like the sleep
you get before 12:00,

and from now on,

I'm gonna see that she's
tucked in before that time.

Norton?
Yeah?

Has Miss Jameson told you
that we are engaged?

Why, no.
Has she told you?

Well, practically.
Practically.

Now, when I was
in the Navy,

I was practically
an admiral,

but the Navy department

didn't know
a thing about it.

Going my way?
No.

Good night.
Pleasant dreams.

One, two, three,
breathe.

One, two, three,
breathe.

One, two, three --

[ Laughing ]

One, two, three,
breathe.

One, two, three.

[ Humming ]

[ Whistling ]

Oh.

Thanks a lot.

That's the first word
you've spoken to me

in two months.

[ Ship horn blowing ]

Where's my father?

That makes four words.

I believe the reason
is clearly understood.

Oh, say,
listen, Shirley.

You know I couldn't talk
the Skipper

out of going ahead
with my engine.

You know how enthusiastic
he gets.

I can't help it if he sees what
a wonderful proposition this...

Well, well, young lady.

This is a treat.

Why, you haven't been
in this office

in a month of Sundays.

Hello, Sandy.
Hello, Skipper.

Why, I'm sorry, Skipper,
but I haven't been in the mood.

You understand.
Of course, of course.

You didn't feel
like cheering,

so you kept out of sight
of the old man's follies.

Oh, I know what everybody says
about me, but I'll fool them.

I'll show them real speed.

Oh, I hope you do,

and I'm with you
1,000%.

I know you are,
and, honey,

are you gonna change
your mind

and christen
the fastest boat

that ever slid down
the waves?

Still want me to?

Want you to?

Sandy: Take her away.
Pull her off the turntable.

Come here.
Come here.

I'll crack you over the hull
with this.

Now, wait a minute.
Don't get so familiar.

Who you think is getting
launched around here,

you or this boat?

You're a swell sailor,
you are.

You know
what it means to break

the champagne bottle
on this boat?

It means I ain't gonna
get any now.

It's all set, Skipper.

May I have the pleasure?
Excuse me.

Well, uh, I...

Oh, it's a great morning
for speed.

There you are.

Sandy, are you sure,

absolutely sure
it's going to succeed?

Oh, it's in the bag.

Won't you try
to believe me?

I want to,

more than I've ever wanted
to believe anything.

It's...Oh, it means
so much to Dad.

It's gonna mean a lot
to you and to me,

but I'll tell you
about that later.

Now, you sock her
right on the nose.

Well, Dad, here it goes.

Go ahead.

Uh...

Aren't you
forgetting something?

Good luck, Skipper.

Sail on to victory.

I christen you Miss Victory,
Queen of Speed.

[ Glass shatters ]

Bravo.

Isn't she a beauty
in the water?

I can hardly wait to get
my hands on that wheel.

Skipper.

She's a honey.

You can just feel
the lightning in her.

Give her the gun, Skipper.
Give her the gun.

Put that down.

You remember what happened
to the Admiral's barge?

So anybody can make
a slight error.

Yeah, that's what's
worrying me now.

How do you know

we're not gonna make
another slight error?

Because we've got
this engine lit, stupid.

Listen to her run.

Just listen.

[ Explosion ]

[ Engine sputtering ]

[ Bell ringing, bugle playing ]

[ Siren wailing ]

Skipper!

[ Wailing continues ]

Hurry up, Clarence.

Hurry, they're
burning up.

Starboard!

Father!

Oh, but, darling,
are you hurt?

You knew
that boat wasn't safe,

but you let him
take a chance.

You knew it!

Oh, I hate you.

Please.

Please, won't you let me
see the Skipper

just for a minute?

It's very important
to him.

No. How many times
must I tell you?

But I've got to see him.

Don't you understand?

I'm -- I'm sorry,
honestly I am.

I wouldn't do anything
to hurt him or you.

Well, you should have
thought of all that

before it was too late.

Too late?

You -- you mean he's --
he's worse?

Yes, I'm afraid so,

but the trouble now is more
grief than anything else.

You broke his heart.

I -- I'm sorry,
but hasn't he asked for me?

Doesn't he want
to see me?

I haven't mentioned you to him,
and I don't intend to

after the way you lied to him
and cheated him.

But I didn't lie to him,
don't you understand?

If you'd only let me
talk to him,

I know I can make
that boat a success.

I know I can.
It isn't too late.

There's a fortune in it
right now for him.

Yes, I've heard
all that before.

Well, you'll have to talk
to Mr. Burton now.

He's taken over
what little you've left

of Daddy's business
and is trying to save something.

Yeah, you know it's no use
of my talking to that mug.

I'm sure Mr. Burton
will be fair, even with you.

He's always very kind
and considerate.

Yeah?

So that's the way you feel
about him now?

I've always thought a great
deal of Mr. Burton.

Of course,
you don't like him

because you can't trick him
the way you did Daddy.

Yeah?
Get this.

Burton isn't
fooling me any either,

and I still say
he's a mug.

Oh, you're impossible.
I won't listen to you anymore.

Please go.

Won't let me see
the Skipper, huh?

Okay, okay.

I'll show them.

Uh, break my back trying.

He looks pretty bad,
huh?

Sandy!

Bumpy!

Why,
this is a surprise.

Gee, Skipper, we've been trying
for a week to get in to see you.

We're awfully sorry
about all this.

Oh, that's all right,
boys.

Accidents are accidents,
you know?

But it wasn't an accident,
Skipper.

I -- I've got to tell you

because you've been
so white and grand to us.

We -- we had the same thing
happen to the engine

before in the Navy,

but I thought it would work out
all right this time.

Honestly I did.

I thought we'd fixed it.

Yeah, and so did I.

Of course, you did, boys,

but I knew
you wouldn't deceive me.

But everybody says I did.

They said I promoted you,
and I cheated you and...

Never mind, boy,
what others say.

I know you were on the level
with me,

and nothing will ever
make me think differently.

Oh, you're grand, Skipper,
to feel like that,

and we're going to stick,

and we're gonna show you
that we can make good for you.

We've got to.

Yeah, you bet we have.

And listen, Skipper,
we found out now

what's wrong with that engine.

You have?
What is it?

Why, the supercharger
on the carburetor.

It wasn't strong enough,
that's all.

I wonder.

You think that's why
it backfired?

I'm sure of it,
and listen, Skipper,

there's plenty of time
to fix it before the race.

Yeah, and it --

it won't ever
blow up again either

because Sandy said so.

No use, boys.

I haven't the money.
No use.

When I pay my creditors,
I won't have a dollar.

Oh.

I didn't know
it was that bad, Skipper.

Aw, ain't that a shame.

There's just one chance.

Sandy,
you go and see Burton.

I think he'll help us.

I'm sure he will
if he understands.

He's a businessman.

You can sell him
this idea.

I know you can.

Okay.

Okay, Skipper.

I'll talk to Burton
if you want me to.

I'll make him come through.

That's the talk, boy.

A quitter never wins,
and a winner never quits.

You're dead right,
Skipper.

A winner never quits, and we're
not quitting, you understand?

Nothing is gonna make us
quit, nothing, nothing!

You're a scrapper, boy,

a scrapper
after my own heart.

Well,
we're fighting for you,

Skipper, just for you,
and this is for you,

Skipper, for thinking
we're on the level.

Oh, now, boys.

This wasn't necessary.

Now you're wasting
your time, Norton.

Mr. Jameson hasn't
any more money to sink

in that silly engine

even if he was foolish enough
to want to.

But you've got the money,

give me a chance
to pull him out.

$2,000
or $3,000 is all I...

$2,000 or $3,000?

You might as well ask
for a million.

But I don't want anything
for myself, not a cent.

I've given Mr. Jameson
my interest in the engine.

Your interest, why,
it isn't worth a nickel.

But it will be.

It will be worth
a fortune to him

when that engine
is rebuilt.

I have told you exactly
what's wrong with it.

Please, give me a chance
to help Jameson.

I'll do anything.

I'll leave the island
the minute the work is done.

Eh, you'll leave it anyway.
I'll see to that.

Okay.
Okay, I'll leave.

But if it isn't the way
you expect,

don't be surprised.

Any luck?

Come on,
let's get out of here.

What's he doing?

Ah, those gobs are too dumb
to suspect anything.

Well, watch your step
just the same.

We'd better go below.

Oh, boy.

We'll get 20 years
for this.

If we do, I hope they put us
both in the same cell.

I'd like to see what
solitary confinement is like.

Ahh.

Look, the engine
has all been cleaned up.

Yeah.
That's funny.

Hey, it's all
been reconditioned.

Yeah.

[ Engine starts ]

Come on,
let's get out of here.

Hey! What are you doing
with that boat?!

Hi, Olaf.

We were just pulling
a little closer into shore.

Somebody is liable
to steal her way out here.

Huh, look at here!

I got order to nobody
can touch that boat.

Now, that's the type of man
I like to employ.

I'm going to raise
your salary 2 bucks a day.

We've got a big interest
in this boat.

Now, come on, now.

Give us a hand
with this stern line.

Come on, come on.
That's it.

Somebody is liable to
steal her way back here.

Come on, come on.

Yeah, yeah, come on.

We've got get this thing
back here.

It's a very valuable piece
of property.

Oh, oh.
Alright now.

Come on.

Let's go.
Hey!

Hey!

Hey! Stop!

Hey!
You can't take that boat!

See, I told you somebody
was liable to steal it!

So you think
they've got something

in this gas turbine?

It will be
a clean-up -- millions.

I'll stake
my reputation on it.

As a marine engineer
or a rumrunner?

Guess my reputation

is as good as a guy
who supplies the cash.

Well, nobody cares

where you get
your money these days.

It's how much you've got
that counts.

What will it cost
to rebuild this engine?

$2,500 for more
powerful superchargers.

She runs perfectly up
to 60 miles an hour.

Then the engine builds up
too much compression

and backfires.

Alright, Al.

You grab that boat
at the sale tomorrow

in your name, remember?

I'll give you cash to make
a down payment.

Now, here's $1,000.

Man on radio: Calling police
patrol boat number four.

Calling police patrol boat
number four.

A stolen speedboat,
Miss Victory,

registry number A2093,

registry number A2093,

two men aboard.

Thanks for the contribution.

Norton!

Al, that's Norton!
Stop him!

Come on, get this door open.
Stop that.

He's up on...
Look, there he is!

Here's your receipt.

It will be valuable
when I rebuild the boat.

Will you stop
that crook on --

-Are we good?
-Step on it, sailor.

Step on it.

Get that --

No, he's not in here,
you fools.

He's up on deck.
Up on deck.

Get the speedboat out.
Stop that crook.

Don't let him...

There he is. Get him.

[ Gunshots ]

He must be mad at us!

Zigzag, zigzag!

Captain, take the time
to go ashore

and notify
the authorities.

Yes, sir.

[ Music playing, indistinct
conversations, laughter ]

Who are you?

What do you want?

Hmm.
Just as I expected.

Uh...

Just an innocent
little party, officer.

It's my birthday.

I -- I'm 50.
Is that so?

Well, you'll be an even 60
when you get out.

Woman #2: Oh, a raid!

Oh, I just love raids.

What's in that glass?

Lemonade.

Hey, give me that.
Get away.

You're going to like it
with winter coming on.

Ooh, ooh!

Hey, stop!

Don't touch anything.

Don't you people realize
you have no right

to throw that liquor away

with so many people
suffering?

Officer, if you'll just step
into my cabin,

I can explain everything.

Alright. Go ahead, make it
snappy, though.

[ Bottles clunking,
water splashing ]

Sir,
I can explain everything.

Everything is alright.

That's enough of that.

You know the law,
and you're not 10 years old.

Yes, but...
No, you're not.

You just admitted
you were 50.

You know, this is
going to cause me

an awful lot of trouble.

You see, my wife

isn't on this yacht
tonight.

Well, whose yacht
is she on?
Huh?

I mean, say, why I am wasting
all of my time with you?

I've got a lot of raiding to do.
Come on, get out...

Oh, listen,
officer, listen.

Wait a minute.

Now, I'll do anything
to avoid a scandal.

Can't we talk business?

Are you trying
to bribe me?

Oh, no.
No.

How much have you got?

Well, I...

Well,
I've got $500 here.

So you are trying
to bribe me, eh?

No, no.

Let this be
a lesson to you.

[ Sighs ]

[ Siren wailing ]

Hey, Sandy!
[ Hiccups ]

Police!

Water coppers!

Here's your receipt.

-Oh!
-Oh!

Help, help!

Help me! Catch him!
Stop him!

Next time around!

[ Indistinct yelling ]

How we doing, huh?
How we doing?

Okay.

Man #2: Help! Help!
Sailors on deck!

Quick, I've being robbed.

Sailors, get up here quick,
come on, on deck here!

Somebody get up here.

Hurry it up, I've being robbed!

Sailors, sailors!

Somebody get up here.
Come on on deck.

Hurry up.
Hurry up.

Sailors!

[ Whistling ]

Hey! Hey!

Hey!

[ Yelling indistinctly ]

This is preposterous!

What the...Come on!

Uh, uh!

Go away!
Go away!

Go away!
Go away!

What...W--
Well, what's happened, sir?

What's happened, you darn fool,
don't you see?

Somebody has taken
my pants!

Oh, here they are.
Of course, they are here.

I see they are.

What's this?

Help! Pirates!

Mother!

So there we are, gentlemen.

That's why I've called you
all here today.

These unspeakable crooks
and pirates must be captured.

Yes.

We've got to offer a reward
large enough

to bring them to justice.

-Yes.
-Great idea.

Now, I'm willing to start the
subscriptions off for $1,000.

Good, bravo.

Gosh,
I take a swell picture.

Yeah.

Hey, I should have shaved,
shouldn't I?

Yeah.

You know, those guys
wouldn't give the Skipper

a thin dime
to build this boat,

but they'd spot
10 grand

to keep us
from making it a success.

Well, it ain't the reward
that's worrying me.

It's when somebody
is gonna collect it.

Oh, we'll do
the collecting.

I wonder
which one of these guys

is gonna make
the next little loan.

[ Siren wailing ]

Man on radio:
Calling all patrol boats.

Calling all patrol boats.

Pirates raided
the yacht Arcadia.

[ Speaks indistinctly ]

That is all.

Oh, they ought
to shoot to kill.

Wipe them out,
exterminate them.

Oh, cool off, Clarence.

Can't you get a thrill out
of a couple of kids

fighting to make good?

Be a good sport
and give them a hand.

They're not
really crooks.

What? They're not
really crooks?

Not crooks?

I should like
to know what else you...

Preposterous, sir.

Preposterous!

The police will know
what to call them

when they catch them.

Yes, but they haven't
caught them yet,

not by a long ways,
believe me, you,

and once more, I hope
they don't catch them.

Now, what do you
think of that?

Plain
crazy.

Why, I'm astonished
at you, Mr. Jameson.

Those men are a danger.
They're a menace to society.

Oh, baloney.

Why, Skipper,
how can you talk like

when you know
all they've done?

They deserve
to be caught.

Nonsense, child.

It's all Clarence's fault
anyway.

If he'd helped them
when they asked,

none of this
would have happened.

Well, I like that.

So I'm the goat, eh?

Oh, Father, how can you say
such things about Clarence?

I can't understand
your father.

He's really unreasonable,
you know, dear.

Sandy!

Shirley,
I want to talk to you.

I haven't anything
to say to you.

But I have something
to say to you, and
you've got to listen.

Well, tell your story
to the police.

They'll be glad
to hear from you.

Please.
Let go of me.

You're not going
to marry Burton.

Is that a prophecy
or a threat?
It's the truth.

Don't tell me
you suddenly turned honest.

Shirley,
you can't marry him.

I can, and I will!
Now, you let go of me!

Give me another chance,
dear, please.

Yes, to lie and steal.

Anything to keep you away
from Burton.

You'll never marry him.
I'll see to that.

You'll go to jail.
I'll see to that!

[ Knock on door ]

Shirley?

Shirley?

Go ahead.
Tell him I'm here.

Shh.

What a sap I am.

You had me believing
you didn't love me.

Well, I don't!
I tell you, I don't!

Yes, you do.

That's pretty cheap,
but it suits you.

Then you should have
told Burton I was here.

Well, it's not too late.
You don't mean that.

Don't I?
Just watch me.

[ Knock on door ]

Aren't you --
Sandy!

You're crazy to come here!

The police are watching
this boat!

Don't worry, Skipper.
They won't get me.

I'm for you, son,
but they're not.

It's much better
to quit now.

You said a winner never quits,
and I'm not stopping.

-No.
-I'll stop you!

-Help!
-Shirley! Shirley!

You can't get away now!

Surrender to the police,
and I'll do everything

I can to get you out!

I've started this
and I'm going to finish it!

[ Siren wailing ]

[ Indistinct yelling ]

[ Women screaming ]

[ Indistinct yelling
continues ]

There he goes
up the ladder.

Don't let him
get up the ladder.

Come on.
Get him there, men.

Get him!
-Get him!

Jameson: Jump, boy, jump!

[ Women screaming ]

[ Boat engine rumbling ]

Woman #3: They've got him.
Look. Look.

Good work.

Well, that's the end
of that brash crook.

I congratulate you,
my dear,

on giving the alarm
so promptly.

I -- I suppose he got
what he deserves.

Good for you, Bumpy!
Good for you!

So long, Skipper!
See you at the race!

Bumpy: ♪ I wish
I had my overcoat ♪

♪ With the buckwheat kicks
and soft wool ♪

Pipe down.
Pipe down.

What's the matter?

Can't nobody find
this hideout

but the seagulls.

Boy, if I had me a fried
seagull right now,

could I do away
with it.

Man on radio:
Calling all police patrol boats.

Warren Harbor gas stations

to keep a sharp lookout
for pirate speedboat,

Miss Victory.

That is all.

Oh, I wonder if
they're looking for us.

Maybe we're lost
and don't know it.

Well, I, uh, see where
the girlfriend

is gonna get
married tonight.

You do, do you?

Yeah, and after all that
training you gave her.

Well,
that's the way it goes.

You start giving
them lessons,

and the first thing
they know,

they try to learn you
something.

You know, I -- I thought sure
we were gonna marry her.

But everything happens
for the best.

I do say this, though.

If Burton is a better man
than you are,

give him credit.

Listen, if you are trying
to borrow trouble,

your credit is good.

Why,
I didn't say anything.

I feel kind of bad
about it myself.

'Course, I do think
she'll make Burton

a very loving wife.

You know, it's a nice house
they're gonna have.

I was passing by there
this morning,

and they were carting
the furniture in.

Boy, they got a nice
baby grand piano,

and they got
the nicest table to eat at.

Oh, boy, you ought to get
a look at that bed

they're gonna sleep in.

It's nice and soft

and got goose-down feathers
and everything.

Well, what's the matter
with you?

Can't you take a joke?

I was only playing.

♪

♪

[ Laughing ]

You look like
the forgotten man.

Yeah, I wish I was.

What do we have to go to that
old masquerade for anyway?

Because
they're holding it

on Burton's yacht,
that's why.

And because it's for all
entrants to tomorrow's race,

and we're entering.

Well, what if somebody
recognizes us?

Oh, not a chance.

The boat is disguised,
and we're disguised.

At least, I am.

Well, what am I
supposed to be?

You're supposed
to be quiet.

♪

Whoa!
Oh.

Perdon, señorita.

My friend is what you call
an imbecile.

Oh, is that what
I'm supposed to be?

Woman #4:
You are a pirate.

Gracias, señorita.

[ Speaking Spanish ]

Gracias, señor.

[ Speaking Spanish ]

Gracias, señor.

[ Speaking Spanish ]

Gracias, gracias.

My goodness gracias,
oui, oui.

Señor,
I'll be seeing you.

[ Speaking Spanish ]

♪

♪

Woman #5: Aah!

Jeepers, there's a lot
of married couples

around here this evening.

It's almost
that time, dear.

Are you thrilled?

Perdon, señor.

Just an old
American costume.

Oh, Shirley, you know...

You know, I have
a sneaky feeling

that Miss Victory
will be in that race

whether you like it or not.

Impossible.

This club is not gonna
be represented

in any ways
by those pirates!

Preposterous!

Mr. Jameson, 12:00.

Oh, yes, yes.

We'll disqualify it
if they try to start.

Oh, now, you wouldn't
disqualify my boat

and hand the cup over
to some foreigner.

Of course you wouldn't.

Now, you boys mean well,

but you'll be
mighty proud tomorrow

after Miss Victory
wins the race.

Come on.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Now, Dr. Peabody, we're ready.

Yes.
Of course.

Ladies and gentlemen,
if you'll all please unmask,

Dr. Peabody will perform
a wedding ceremony.

-Oh!
-Oh!

I'll find Shirley.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

[ Water lapping ]

Mr. Jameson.

Where's Shirley?

I don't know.
I thought she was dancing.

I can't find her.

Hey, shovel off.

Turn her over,
will you?

[ Indistinct conversations ]

I can't find
Miss Jameson, sir.

You searched
the whole boat?
Yes, sir.

Well, look again.
Yes, sir.

Did you find her?

No.
I can't find her anywhere.

What's the matter,
Clarence?

We can't find Shirley.

Help! Help!

Help! Help!

-What's that?
-Listen.

Why did you try to steal
a crazy woman for?

Get her out of here.
Get her out.

Call the police boat.

They won't get away this time.

What's going
to stop them?

That's what
I'd like to know.

Where are you taking me?

For a ride.

[ Siren wailing ]

Go to it!

I've waited a lifetime to see
a boat go that fast,

a boat I built.

But, great Scott,
don't you realize

they're kidnapping
your daughter?

Kidnap?
Don't be funny.

Those boys
won't hurt her.

Go to it!

[ Wailing continues ]

Pardon me, madam.

Pardon me!

Oh, stop, Sandy.

Stop
or they'll kill you.

Stop, or I'll hate you
all my life!

So you're quitting,
turning yellow?

I won't risk your life.

But I don't want you
to quit.

I could never love
a quitter.

[ Gunfire ]

[ Shouts indistinctly ]

[ Wailing continues ]

[ Gunfire ]

Left them flat.

Remind me to sell
the police department

six of our new engines.

Those cops need
something faster.

I need
something to eat.

Some speed to the old
boat now, huh?

If your insane demonstration
of lawbreaking is over,

kindly put me ashore.

Why -- why,
I thought...

Well, you know
what you said back there.

Forget that.

I couldn't see you arrested,
not after I had made you stop.

I couldn't take such advantage
of my sex

and still be a good sport.

Then my insane demonstration
isn't over.

You're a member of this crew
for the race.

The race with this boat?

Yes.

We're gonna win that cup
for the Skipper or -- or...

Or blow up.

Sandy, Sandy, do you
really think we've got a chance?

Lady, there's a chance
for this engine to do anything.

What do you think
of her?

Has she got speed,
or has she got speed?

I'll say she's got speed.

Yeah,
and nothing blew up.

Pipe down.
Hustle that gas onboard.

We got to be at the starting
line in 30 minutes.

Okay, Jack.
Come on.

Get them up.
Get them up!

Get them up!

Shirley: Sandy!

A dame, huh?

Nobody said nothing
about a dame.

Oh...
Lay off!

Don't you know
who she is?

[ Indistinct conversations ]

What are you gonna do
with us?

I'm gonna take those
two birds out

where the water
is plenty deep and dump them.

But you can't do that!

Why, that's murder!

Oh, take it easy,
sister.

Nothing's gonna happen
to you.

Nothing could happen
to the big boss' sweetie.

What do you mean?

Aw, come on, sister.
Sit down.

Let go of me!

Help! Help!

Man #3: Where is she?

Where is she?
Dive again, Mac.

She's Burton's girl!

Attagirl, Shirley.
Come on.

Make it snappy.

Quiet.
We've got to move quickly.

Alright.

[ Engine starts ]

What'd you let them get away
from you for?

Get away from me?

What did you jump
overboard for?

I didn't jump overboard!
I was pushed overboard!

Aw, you big slug!

Attagirl.

Was that thinking fast,
or was that thinking fast?

So Burton is the man
those mugs call the big boss.

Why didn't you tell me?

I don't know anything
about Burton.

Aw, he does too!

Burton is the mug
that's been putting up

the dough
for this rum racket.

Why, he was planning
on swiping this boat

from the skipper
the night we took it.

Forget it.
If we're gonna make

the starting line for that race,
we got to just step on it!

Okay.
Let's go!

Hey!
Look out!

[ Ship horn blowing ]

I told you those pirates
wouldn't show up today.

Well, it's 1 minute
before starting time.

Your pirates must have
lost their nerve.

Not them.

They'll be here
if they're afloat.

I hope those crooks do show up.

I'd like to get my hands
on them.

I didn't see them make
any fast grab

from last night,
Clarence.

[ Engine roaring ]

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Howdy, folks.

We're broadcasting the famous
International Cup Race

at Catalina Island.

Your announcer is Pete Smith
in the flesh, not a cartoon.

Fastest boats from five
countries are raring to go.

I'm afraid America loses the
cup before we start.

Miss Victory,
Jameson's pride and joy,

is not in the lineup.

Here they come.

They're moving up
to the starting mark.

Crowd is tense at the start.

They're getting ready
to give them the flag.

[ All cheering ]

They're off!

Look!
Look, old lily face!

Look and weep!

Here is a real thrill.

The Coast Guard cutter
is patrolling, of course.

They're going after
the pirate boat.

It's the Miss Victory,
all right.

Those police boats
will take care of them.

Captain, there's a woman
in that boat.

Hold it.

The cutters are coming together
to head her off,

but Miss Victory
keeps right on coming.

Some nerve.

Like it?
Love it.

Much obliged.

Disqualify my boat
if you dare.

That gang of real Americans
who don't give a toot

about your millions
will tear your hearts out!

America is in the race.

The pirate boat is far behind
but coming up fast.

They're in the turn.

Meteor takes the lead,

Señorita second,
Miss Victory in third.

[ All cheering ]

Coming up fast, what a boat!

Señorita first,
Miss Britain second,

and here comes Miss Victory
right into the pack.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Miss Victory
passes the Italian.

She's now in the race.

Señorita holds the lead,
Miss Britain second,

Meteor third, Miss Victory
is coming up fast.

[ Continues indistinctly ]

Here they come
in for the turn.

Miss Victory now moving up
into first place.

[ All cheering ]

Boy, what a race.

Miss Victory's
now in the lead.

Where's the captain?

Captain!

Captain, I demand that you
arrest those pirates at once!

Okay, sir.

You catch them,
and we'll arrest them.

There's something the matter
with the air line.

Get in that hatch
and see what it is!

Boy, oh, boy.
What a tough break.

They had that race
in the bag!

Señorita passes Victory
like a flash.

Look.
There's your chance.

Go get them.
Okay, sir.

I'll do the best I can.

Victory is through.

Police bearing down
on the pirate boat.

Sandy, here come the police!

Turn 'em over, Sandy!

Well, folks, it looks like
Sandy Norton and Miss Victory

are going to part company.

Police now boarding Victory
to get Norton.

[ Laughter ]

Here comes Victory
into the turn.

Wow!

Steady far behind
but moving up fast!

Hooray!

Go on and cheer!
You got $500 on that boat!

Hooray
for the Victory!

Hooray for the pirates!

Hooray for America!

Señorita
in the lead on the turn.

Britain riding hot coming up.

Wow!
Britain takes a bad wash.

The pilot and mechanics
are overboard.

She's running wild!

[ Woman screams ]

Britain circling right
in the path of the crazy boat.

Oh, my goodness, Sandy!

Here she comes again.

Oh!

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Britain running head-on
into speeding boats.

Missing one after another.

Police boats...

She missed it.

Still running wild.

[ All screaming and yelling ]

The Meteor.

None are hurt.
Lifeguards, pull them up.

Meteor has run her last race.

She sinks out of sight.

Now back to the race.

Victory has past the Italian.

Miss V going places!

She's moving up.
She's moving up on Señorita.

Come on, Miss Victory!
She's past Señorita.

[ Yelling indistinctly ]

Step on it, Sandy!

Good boy!

Here, they're coming
to the turn.

Victory takes it
on the inside.

It looks like she's out.
She's out in front.

They're in the homestretch.

The winner, Miss Victory!

[ All cheering ]

Skipper, darling.

Shirley, my darling!

We licked them again!

Yes, and we're gonna keep
this pirate in the family!

[ Laughter ]

I'd like to see him try
to get away from me.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

There are your men,
Captain.

Don't be hasty, Burton.

I've got a $500 interest
in this boat.

Those boys
have got something.

Why, certainly
they have.

Now, let's talk this over.
There's nothing to talk over.

That man took $1,000 from me.

He took my pants,
and I'm not kicking.

Well, go on, Captain.
Arrest them.

Just a moment,
officer, please.

Clarence, I'd like
to speak to you.

Bootlegging?

Alright, Captain.

I withdraw the charges.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

I want to congratulate
the winner, too.

Well, I expect to be busy
for the next few days.

[ Laughter ]

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Hey.

Okay.
Okay.

I guess
I'll go for a boat ride.

Again? Again?

♪

♪