Faith Based (2020) - full transcript

Hey, jungle monster,
you ever been fucked by a girl?

Cause Sally is horny.

Good job, Sally.

When I grow up,
I want to be Butch Savage.

I want to be Butch Savage.

Hey, little dudes and dudettes,
do you want to be the next Butch Savage?

Then follow Butch's three rules
of living savage.

Number one, never settle.

You get too comfortable,
you lose your drive.

Number two, work hard.

There are no shortcuts.



Number three, eat
sugary savage cereal every day.

It'll give you strong muscles
and big brains like Butch.

Get out of here, bananas,
I ain't no monkey.

I'm a savage.

- Savage!
- Savage!

My name is Luke. I'm from
Los Angeles, California.

I live here in Reseda now
with my best friend Tanner.

Dude, you're supposed to get
the missiles by the silo.

And my favorite dog,
Mr. Perfect.

Hey, uh, Luke,
you're being a little bitch or are you...

My name's Tanner.
I live in Los Angeles.

Look, here's the boob.

I like to say that I am
electively a single.

- All right, Henry.
- Henry. - Yeah.



I like his new uniform.

Time to go to church.

Finish your beer.
We got Bingo at eight.

- Oh, yes,
- ♪ Captain Wonder's ♪

♪ Shit Show Bingo ♪

♪ He's a homeless David Bowie
With stale popcorn ♪

All right, ladies and
gentlemen, this is Shit Show Bingo.

Fine, fine, fine, fine.

Ladies and gentlemen,
we got N39.

N39 cocaine time.

That's right,
looking for a little white girl.

- By white girl I mean cocaine.
- Bingo!

- She told me, no.
- Oh, yeah.

Tanner works at my
all-time favorite bar No Bar.

That mustache looks like
a rat got stuck on a glue trap.

You look like the bad guy
from every '80s movie.

You mind if I plug this in?

- Can't you just get a new one if it dies?
- Tanner, it's late.

I can't risk this
bad boy dying on me.

There's nothing more embarrassing
than a grown man pushing a scooter.

I don't want to call it a dive because
it's nicer than a dive, it's a lounge,

just the kind of place
you go to hang out.

How about a free drink
for your old friend, Gerry.

What are you even doing here,
Gerry?

- I eighty-sixed you last week.
- He eighty-sixed you last week.

That was last week though.
It's this week. Okay.

All right, don't talk about me
when I'm gone, please.

Yeah. Bye, Gerry.

Aside from Tanner
and, of course, Mr. Perfect,

my third favorite person
in Los Angeles is Brandy.

She's an angel sent down
for the world but mainly me.

Brandy, how's the film industry?

Brandy is great.
Luke's got a really big crush on her.

She's super nice.
She's also a porn star.

It's fucking exhausting. I had two
jobs today. My back is killing me.

Tanner is convinced
that Brandy's in porn.

I don't know. And, honestly,
if she does do porn, it doesn't bother me.

I respect her right to do
what she wants with her body.

My buddy Luke, he's got a
pretty sweet gig. He cleans pools.

Um, he does it part time.

I'm an idea man.
I'm an entrepreneur.

Okay, I take an idea and I say, "What do
we need to turn the idea into reality?"

What I present to you today

is not just an opportunity to change
your bank account or your body.

It's an opportunity
to change your life.

I don't get it.

Uh, he likes to say
he's an idea guy

but usually his ideas involve getting
other people to help him sell, uh, teas,

like weight loss teas.

That's right, I sell tea, herbal
weight loss tea. But it really works.

I get two dollars and
fifty cents from every sale.

And if I recruit someone else, I get
a dollar twenty-five from their sales.

It's incredible, man.
The sky is endless.

Is that the right analogy?

Anyway, I am about 25 grand
in debt from the stuff

but Nicky Steele says...

It takes money to make other people
make money to make you money.

My life is good.
I have a job sometimes.

But I come from a family
of excellence.

There's a part of me that feels like
I am destined for bigger things.

Nicky Steele's herbal
weight loss tea

starts generating revenue
the minute you sign...

- Why aren't you cleaning the pool?
- Jimmy.

What are all these people doing
here? What's going on?

Did we hire them? They feel old.

- Do they swim?
- I can't swim.

- I thought we were getting a free lunch.
- Yeah.

My clients' houses are not a
backdrop for your pyramid scheme.

Jimmy, is it really a pyramid
scheme if everybody makes money?

Yes.

But, Luke,
let's put it this way,

his heart's in the right place but
his head it's crammed way up his ass.

I'm sorry I... I liked your dad, Luke, he's
a great guy, but this is it, you gotta go.

You're fired.

I guess everyone has their
own way of wooing a potential mate.

Tanner has this thing.

Unbelievable.

Dinner and a movie.

Well, dinner
and a very specific movie.

A moving drama
about the Holocaust.

I hate that this works,
but it works.

Call me, Tanner.

May the odds ever be
in your favor.

Tanner's really great.

He's, uh, got really great hair
and, um...

Dude, it's time for us to do
something with our lives.

Look, dude, I support
your entrepreneurial spirit.

I really do, but the weight loss
tea, no, thanks.

I'm not talking about the tea, okay,
I'm talking about a real power move, okay?

I'm talking about something to put us
on the map, man, get us out of Reseda.

Let's take... let's take Mr. Perfect
and get up to the hills.

Of course, I want to take
Mr. Perfect to the hills.

But, dude, I make money to drink
and hang out with my friends.

My life is pretty great.

I mean, here's the thing.
I like working at the bar.

I do. It's easy. It's fun.
I'm flushed with cash.

Hell, half the time I take care of Luke's share
of the rent and it doesn't even bother me.

But, um, you know,
my liver's got its limitations

and, uh, you know, it's...
it's a gig with an expiration date.

What's up big guy? What... what's got
you talking like a career counselor?

What are you even doing here right now?
Did... did Jimmy fire you again?

The little guy caught me selling my tea to
some people I met outside the nursing home.

I need a scream shower.

What's a scream shower?

He thinks I can't hear him.

Screaming.

So then he says to me, "Well,
if it's a 401(k) and not a 403(b),

are you really diversified?

Okay, okay, okay, settle down, settle down.
Come on. Come on.

Let us pray.

Blessed to be here.

Lord, Father, God,
thank you for Ryan

who is striving to create job
opportunities for those less fortunate.

Thank you, Lord.
Thank you. Thank you.

I'm adopted,
which I'm thankful for

but I think my dad
always wanted my brother

and he got me
and then he got my brother.

And, Luke, he's working
in pool sanitation, Lord,

it is really something else.

Lord Father God, we give thanks and praise
for all these wondrous and bountiful gifts

in your and Jesus' name.

Amen.

Amen. Mm-mm.

Apparently, before Luke came along,
our family was pretty well off.

But we're glad to have a brother
though, you know.

You know I, uh, been having a little, uh, little
drama going on at work myself these days.

What's up, Dad?

Well, as you may
or may not be aware,

the attendance of the church has been
slowly declining since the late 90's.

Our revenue is based mainly
on tithing.

So, when the people disappear,
so does the money.

We need 75 grand just to make
the rest of the year's rent.

And then, eventually, we're going
to need another 100 to fix that roof

that's not getting any better.

You know, what we really need is our
own version of Love is Underground.

I believe that those are Wild Wood
Brothers over in Charleston made.

Oh, I saw that.

The one where the police officers are
stuck in the sewer during a hurricane.

You know,
they thought they were gonna die

and then they found Jesus
and then they didn't die.

Oh, I love that they don't die.

So,
this was a financial success?

Oh, yes, the church funded
it, completely paid off their mortgage.

No way.

I'm serious.
Look it up.

Love is Underground,
stars, um, oh,

oh, and wonderfully devout
young man from Growing Pains.

And what is his name, uh...

Kirk Cameron.

It's already made
three million dollars.

Oh, it's completely
revolutionized the church.

Y'all couldn't have gone
into the film business.

Well, anyway, I...
I suppose it's my fault.

Uh, your mother,
God rest her sweet soul.

Well, she wanted to put you all
in commercials

to make some extra money to make up for Luke's
adoption fee which was pretty exorbitant.

But, well, anyway,
I just couldn't stomach

the thought of my child
being the face of yogurt.

Oh, baby girl, this is so good.
Thank you. Praise God.

Praise God.

Well, Sally, some people
might call this a dead end.

What do you say
we make it a cul-de-sac?

Can we cease the fucking
Butch Savage marathon, please?

Butch Savage is a great
American hero.

Can you name another wrestler slash actor
slash independent presidential candidate?

- Whatever.
- Brandy, looking great like a brand-new pair of socks.

- What?
- Never mind.

Tanner, have you heard of a
movie called Love Is Underground?

It's about some cops
in the sewer.

I guess I must have missed it.

What about God's Not Dead?

It's a Christian movie
starring Kevin Sorbo.

That movie starring Hercules
was shot for nothing

and now, it's a
multi-million-dollar franchise.

What are you saying?
You want to go see a Christian movie?

I want to make
a Christian movie.

I want to make the best Christian
movie Jesus has ever seen.

Nobody buys movies anymore.

I have over 150 credits
all online.

That's where it's at.

Wow, look at this.
War Room, 73 million.

Courageous, 33 million.

Fireproof, 35 million.

Christians support
anything Christian.

Churches, literally, buy out
entire theaters, rent buses,

and take their congregation
to see movies.

Faith-based,
the entire genre is a gold mine.

Yeah.

- Are you in?
- What, "Am I in"?

Dude, this is, um, this is a good idea.
This is a really good idea.

But I make margaritas
and you clean pools.

Neither one of us know anything
about making movies.

Exactly.

She knows a lot
about making movies.

Yeah, I do. Thank you.
I mean, kind of.

Plus, dude,
it seems like a lot of work.

Nicky Steele says...

You work hard, you play hard.

You work harder,
you play harder.

You work hardest,
you play rock hard.

If I see Nicky Steele,
I'm going to kick him in the dick.

Uh, Herman, you want another?

Does a tree shit in the woods
if you don't hear it fall?

That's a yes.

I hear you, old timer. Just a five-pound
bag of flour make a big ass biscuit.

Holy fucking shit. Tanner!

Hey, man, how you doing?

- No, you still work here?
- Yeah, man, it's the best.

Whoa. This guy right here
is a fucking legend.

What's it been, like,
10 years now?

No, no, no,
like, uh, like seven.

Yeah, give or take
daylight saving whatnots.

I mean I remember you man.

First time I met this guy,
pay attention future me,

it was Halloween, you were
dressed as Napoleon Dynamite.

He had his fucking hair permed
and all that shit.

It's flipping sweet.

Man, you were going places.

It was 2007, is that right?

2004.

Who's playing pool,
motherfuckers?

Hey, come smell my finger.

I'm in.

Man, look at this one.

This is a farming drama
called Jesus Plows.

Oh, wow.

Look, this is a religious
NASCAR movie.

That's racing on the streets
of gold.

Religious NASCAR.

Or maybe we watch
the Firefighter saga,

High Risk Higher Purpose
one, two and three.

And if they're making three
of those, they're making money.

All of these are made by the same
company, it's called Christflix.

I'm gonna email them.

"Dear Sir or Madam,

we are two young gentlemen
looking to make a Christian movie

for our Lord and savior's body.

We'd love to meet with you
before he is risen.

AKA,
at your earliest convenience.

Truly...

Amen, Luke and Tanner."

So, we were thinking,
what about a family drama?

You know what, I'm gonna stop you
right there. I don't give a shit.

For these movies to make money,
it needs four things.

Four.

One, two, three, four.

One, you need an A, B, or C list
celebrity who's also a Christian,

at the very least a Republican.

I mean Kirk Cameron,
Kevin Sorbo, the fat Superman.

- Dean Cain. He's a real deal actor.
- Mm-Hmm.

Two, you need some keywords
in the title.

I'm talking purpose, faith,
prayer, heaven, Huckabee.

Yeah, yeah, think like, you know,
Thoughts & Prayers, the movie , you know.

Or like, uh,
Faith and Furious, you know.

Uh, like, uh,
Prayer and Prejudice, you know.

I Heart Huckabee.

- I think that one's taken.
- Oh, that's actually... I think that is a movie.

But anyway, you know,
you get the idea.

Three, peril.

Most people become Christians when they are
three years old or if they're faced with death.

So, unless you're going to make
the Christian look who's talking,

I need some dire straits.

Yeah, I think hikers lost on Everest, you
know, a rodeo clown facing his last bull,

or a homeless woman who discovers that
her cat is really her guardian angel

and then the homeless woman turns
out to be Kentucky clerk Kim Davis.

That'd be awesome.
I'm just spitballing.

But, um, lastly,
you got to talk about God.

It doesn't have to be God, God,

you can talk about it like a higher
power or just straight up JC.

Bonus points
if God's actually in it.

Yeah, but good luck.
His agent's a real asshole.

Why do all these
Christian movies have to be bad?

They don't have to be bad.
They just don't have to be good.

Your dad's gonna buy anything
that has Jesus in it somewhere.

Get me a movie
with those four things

and I will write you a check for
two hundred thousand dollars.

Boom.

I mean why don't you
just help us finance our movie?

No.

What kind of sucker would invest
in an imaginary dream

that might somehow benefit them
in the end?

No.

But if you figure out
how to make it, I will buy it

and if it costs less than 200k,
you can keep the profits.

Would you mind
if I prayed over us real quick?

- I mean, I just feel like...
- You know what, no. Fuck no.

So, how do you know this woman?

Um, me and Tiff dated
back in 2014.

- Damn.
- It ended well.

- Did it?
- Pretty well.

Hey, Tanner.

- Hey.
- Hi.

How are you doing?

Wow.

- You... you look... you look amazing.
- Uh... Hi.

- Hi. Hello. Hi. How are you?
- Hi.

I'm... Wow, I'm good.

You are good.

- You are good. Yeah.
- Ah... Thanks. Thanks.

Hey, um, where am I?

This is the Encino Velodrome.

It was built in 1962.

They did the Olympic
trials here.

That's Henry,
he practices on Sundays.

That's great. Wow.

So, uh, what's... what's going on?

Why'd you call?

Um, we want to make a movie.

We're going to make a movie.

We're...
we're going to make a movie

and, uh, we thought it would be smart to
enlist the help of a filmmaker friend.

Tanner told me all about your short
film at Sundance. Sounds awesome.

I... wanted to preface just kind of by saying what
we're about to tell you is a great opportunity.

Who is this?

- Um, this, you might remember, is my friend Luke.
- I'm Luke.

- Luke. Oh.
- Mm-hmm.

Um, wow.

- Yeah, so you and Luke want to make a movie.
- Mm-hmm.

Do you have a director
who's directing?

- Co...
- You're... you're directing with him?

Do you have a script?

- Writing it.
- Working on it.

- Okay, you're gonna write a script.
- Mm-hmm.

Do you have a producer?

You know you need
a producer, right?

Like, you have to have somebody who can connect
all the dots and make all the things happen.

You gotta get your shit
together, guys.

What about post-production?
Have you thought about that?

Have you thought about
who's gonna do your editing?

You've got color correction to deal with.
You've got special effects.

- Mm-hm. Tiffany.
- Yeah.

You are so smart.

Will you help us, please?

Please, please, please,
will you help us? Come on.

We want to make
a really good movie.

Only because you are still
clearly doing CrossFit,

- your abs are popping, I... I will help you a little bit.
- Okay.

What are you doing later?

You know what I'm doing later.

- Yeah. I don't feel great.
- Okay.

Hey, you two tried, uh,
not sucking at this?

Okay.

- These guys, every fucking Tuesday.
- Every fucking Tuesday.

Anyway, I think we write
something original.

You know it's like,
uh, Shawshank.

It's a guy in prison, he doesn't want to
be there anymore and so, he breaks out.

- It's cliché.
- Yeah.

You two are getting schooled
by this rookie, I found.

You seen this guy?
Call him Scottish Thor.

Found him up at this, uh,
liquor store up Lankershim.

Guy was already holding an ax
in his hand.

Perfect.

Come on, go play dart.

- Every Tuesday, he's the worst.
- Every Tuesday, these guys.

So, what do you want to do?
You just write something ourselves?

No man, Nicky Steele says...

You really want the job done,
you've got to do it...

All by yourself. Yeah, I know.

Hey, Nicky Steele doesn't rely
on other people.

Nicky Steele should have relied
on a lawyer.

The guy spent years in prison
before he came up with the tea scam.

Apples and oranges, Tanner.

Apples and...

oranges.

Oh, shit.

Yeah.

- Huh?
- Yo, where you at?

The crew's going to be here
any minute?

Shit! Dude,
I'm sorry I totally blanked.

Why are you out of breath?

What?

Wait, is that Gaga
in the background?

Yeah, that's definitely a weight dropping.
Dude, are you doing CrossFit?

What? No, no, no, that's crazy.

It's too much, man.
You gotta stop.

There is nothing weird about it.

Great job, Tanner.
Awesome elbows.

Dude.

Okay, listen up,
just gather up the troops

and I'll be there in an hour
to pound out the script.

There they are,
the mighty ducks.

Why do we need to do this
on Monday?

Jesus, Herman.

It's Saturday, man.

Yeah, I guess my eyes
are bigger than my liver.

Uh, well, right now,
I'm, uh, working on this movie.

Beer.

- There he is.
- Oh.

Ah, Luke's offered to, uh, pay me with,
uh, free drinks and, uh, that's fine.

Isn't it a little early?

I don't need a clock
to tell me I'm thirsty.

I think I have a lot to offer. Um, I'm...
I mean, I'm in the film industry,

so, I have a lot of
hands-on experience, um, myself.

But, like if this were
Dumb and Dumber,

Tanner would be the dumb and Luke
would definitely be the dumber.

So, it could be
a giant shit show.

We're going to assign
some tasks.

This is a little thing my filmmaking
for dummies book calls pre-production.

I can tell you one thing.

We're going to need
a green screen.

Marlon, how hard would it be
to blow up something?

I have an idea. For such an epic in shot
it could only be pulled off by someone...

Somebody who specializes in
explosives in Iraq War Part 1.

Exactly.

Give me the date of the shoot,
motherfucker.

I asked Luke what the fuck
is a faith-based movie.

He said, no, you know,
essentially, it's about religion

and keep those answers short
because if you start getting I...

I lose my concentration.

Brandy, some problems
can only be solved over a meal.

- PJ's Diner has a special...
- Not gonna happen.

Okay.

Let's talk cameras.

Who here understands
how they work?

Gotta get some det cord.

Yeah, is, uh, Mel Harris
still alive?

Mel?

Mel, this is Herman.

I know it's been like 35 years,

but I've got a picture that I'm producing
here I'd really like you to be a part of it.

- Let's think prayer.
- Mm-hm.

Where have we never seen
one done?

Uh, prayer and war.

They pray in like
every war movie.

Saving Private Ryan, Platoon.

Blow up a tank, a jeep.

What about a prayer at sea?

Titanic. Sharknado.

I blew up a whale one time.

You know what movie
they never pray in?

Alien.

A prayer in space.

Blow up alien.

The first prayer ever
to be prayed in space.

An astronaut stuck on Mars

being chased by aliens and crazy
creatures shouts out to her creator...

"Lord, save me
from these space monsters."

And whose face burst
through the clouds to save her?

God!

- God.
- God.

We've got the crew.
We're working on the cast.

Now we just need to find
the golden goose.

That means money.
We're looking for money.

All right. So then, it's like...

...the spaceship lands perfectly
on Mars.

Boom.

This has been a Luke
and Tanner production.

Uh, it's beautiful.

Hey, how are you thinking
we finance this thing?

We, like, try to get a loan
or talk to a rich friend?

Dude, you remember
what Jane said?

She said what kind of suckers would give
money to some sort of imaginary dream

in hopes that in the end
it would benefit them?

Yeah, but Nicky Steele says...

Don't bother finding the people
who believe in you.

Find the people who believe in the
idea of you and the idea of your ideas.

Hey dad, I'm with Tanner.

What's your weekend look like?

♪ I hung a cross
To remember you by ♪

♪ It's eight feet tall
And six feet wide ♪

♪ To remember
The things you said ♪

♪ I hung it over my bed ♪

♪ That monstrosity
That was your tomb ♪

♪ Oh, it takes up
Most of the room ♪

♪ I hung a huge cross ♪

♪ Because your love's so pure ♪

♪ And if it fell
When I was sleeping ♪

♪ I'd be crushed for sure ♪

♪ Because they hung... ♪

This one pours a hazy golden yellow color
with a white head that clings to the glass,

aroma of rye and spice
and even some grassy notes.

It's coffee?

Oh, yes.

Grown in Chile
in the southernmost...

I just want a coffee.

But why Guatemala?

Because, basically, it's sunny
in Guatemala 270 days a year.

Seriously, that many.

- Two hundred and seventy?
- Yeah.

Um, have you ever seen a little
movie called Schindler's List?

It's church.

Come to see if my dad...

All right,
put your hands up, Elevates.

How big is your love?

- My love is big.
- Yeah, my love is big, too.

You know whose love
is the biggest?

- Christ's.
- Wow.

So, how big is your love?

And how big is your cross?

- There's a symbol of that love.
- I'll just sit in the back.

I've a very, very small
room but my cross is still enormous.

It's big.

- It's enormous.
- Oh, Jesus.

Here we go.

♪ If I had a life-size cross ♪

♪ It could hold
A real human being ♪

♪ And in my living room
I built a huge ♪

♪ Nativity scene
I hung a monster cross ♪

♪ Because your love's so pure ♪

♪ It's so pure If it
fell when I was sleeping ♪

♪ I'd be crushed for sure ♪

♪ Crushed for sure
Crushed for sure ♪

♪ Crushed for sure
Crushed for sure ♪

♪ Crushed for sure
Crushed for sure ♪

♪ Crushed for sure ♪

Thank you.

All right, you can have a seat,
Elevate Church.

Hello, Elevate.

Let's give it up one more time
for the Incredible Band.

Right.

Well, before you all leave,

I do want to let you know what our
mission's team members were up to.

Did you guys...
Did you guys see that?

She was looking like
right at me.

So, that's it for today, you guys.
Have a wonderful Sunday.

And remember, stay woke.

I want to get out of here
as soon as possible.

Hey. Aloha, amigos,
welcome to Elevate.

I'm Hoyt.

Is this your first time here?

Elevate is a community of people
just looking to do life together.

Anyway, we're just here
to meet my dad.

He's actually the pastor here.

Oh, you're Pastor Michael's son?

- Yeah, I'm Pastor Michael's son.
- Wow.

But he's...

You know and you're not...

I'm adopted.

Oh.

- Jesus.
- Oh, easy, bud.

Listening.

We're good guy.

Let's go find my dad.

You're not gonna believe this.

Christflix said they'll give us
two hundred thousand dollars.

We split it, 50/50.

Elevate pays off their mortgage.

Tanner and I get a film career and
you would be the executive producer.

We do an offering,
like you do for the mission's trips.

What's the budget
of this so-called movie?

Um, we're gonna need food,
cameras, um, sound design.

Sound design.
Sound design has to be epic.

- It's gotta be right up there with Sharknado.
- Yeah.

You know, that's the....

- Yeah, so probably at least a thousand there, maybe.
- Yeah.

Also, the actor's
probably gonna be pricey.

We're planning to get
some real star power.

Nobody wants to watch a movie
starring somebody they don't know.

You boys clearly
haven't thought this through.

Actually, Sir, we have.

What do you two even know
about making a movie?

We... we know everything
about movies.

I've been watching movies in
your basement since I was seven.

You do realize that watching
a movie and making movie...

Never mind, Lord.

Tanner, did you know that I had
to get Luke that pool cleaning job

from the man who cleans
our baptismal?

And I told Jimmy
my son was reliable.

Guess what Jimmy told me
last week?

That good help is hard
to come by, impossible even.

Tanner, look, now, I'm not
worried about you, but Luke...

Well, come on, son,
let's face it,

we all know that you love finding
a deal that's too good to be true.

I mean, you should see the stack of tea I have in
my closet down and, oh, floor to ceiling, son.

Floor to ceiling.

Dad, we can do this.

We just need a little help.

This could be like that church
in South Carolina.

Okay?

Your version
of Love is Undergroun.

We could save the church.

We could be
your Wild Wood Brothers.

I... suppose you could.

But let's be honest, boys...

you'll not.

You know how a lot of people say
the apple doesn't fall far from the tree

when it comes to kids
and their parents?

Well, with Luke and his dad, it's like Luke,
the apple, was falling out of the tree

but before it hit the ground,
somebody grabbed it

and then chunked it
into the neighbor's yard

because they're not alike
at all.

- He never saw potential in me.
- That's not true.

No, it is true. My dad's the nicest
guy in the world to everybody but me.

When we were
in the fourth grade.

Ryan wanted to do
a lemonade stand, okay.

Bought the lemons, set up a
table, made a colorful sign.

I went to do it
and my dad stopped me.

He said, "We can't risk what happened
with the boy scouts happening again."

What happened
with the boy scouts?

There's a reason
they don't sell cookies anymore.

It's time to show my dad
what we can do.

What?

Let's sell these people
on funding our dream.

You want to take advantage
of these people?

- I want to help them.
- We're gonna...

I got an idea.

Matthew, Mark, Luke and...

Uh, Tanner.

Tanner, this is Troy.

He's done the videos of my dad's
church for like 20 years.

He went to film school.

The Oxnard School
for the Cinematic Arts.

The Oxnard School.

Troy, Tanner and I want to make an
incredible Christian feature film.

We were thinking
you could help us,

show the church people
our potential.

The Prodigal Son Returns.

But to reach the flock,
he needs a master.

Okay.

Oh, um, Luke and I know
a lot about movies,

we just don't know a lot
about making a Christian movie.

I think you've come to the
right Christian, filmmaker.

Now, if there's one thing I learned at
Oxnard School for the Cinematic Arts,

it's that if you want to make a feature
film, you've got to start with a short...

A short what?

A short film.

All right, next.

Hi. My name is Rheagann
and I really like space.

- I love kids, man. Kids are honest.
- Yeah.

Hey, big nose,
you got a big nose.

- You set up these auditions?
- Look, you said kids were honest.

You look like if you took off your
glasses, your nose would come with it.

Thank you very much.
You did great.

You look like if Draco Malfoy drank
Monster and listened to Nickelback.

- Hear me.
- We gotta find somebody to play God.

What do you think
about Hulk Hogan?

Oh, Christermania, brother.

Next.

How dost thou leave thine craft
mindfully towards the heavens.

Thou art not one with Earth
and yet art.

I didn't understand a whole lot
of it but it sounded like music.

- I'm classically trained, so.
- Oh.

Midpoint montage.

See what I'm doing?

- When it's separate?
- Yes, exactly.

And then together,
they learn and they go.

Act three.

Okay, do we have to do that now?

Next.

I believe the best way to
experience space is through dance.

Five, six, seven, eight.

What are you doing later?
Are you busy?

Oh, man, you think...

you think there's any chance
Butch Savage would do this movie?

Butch Savage would be
the all-time win.

Wide shot, medium, close-up,
extreme close-up.

When you look back and you see
only one set of footprints,

my astronaut,
that is when I carried you.

It's good.

It's really good.

Yeah.

Do you think it's epic enough?

I mean, it's pretty epic.

What else?
What else could go in there?

I asked for a fucking God wig.
This is like Gandalf.

I think we got to get an actor,
man.

You think we try Stallone,
Chuck Norris?

We could get...
we could get Butch Savage.

Butch Savage.

Motherfucker won't last a day
in Iraq.

Well, you know, I actually heard
that Butch Savage is Born Again.

- Oh, no way.
- Mm-hm.

Look... look what just came up
on the Google!

It's a Butch Savage commercial
about the church.

- Did he just say the Google?
- He did, yeah.

I'm Butch Savage
and I like to pray.

Where? Costa Mesa,
Grace Bible Church of the Most High,

where we are getting jacked
for Jesus,

shredded for Solomon,
absolutely abdominal for Abraham.

Chicken for Christ.

Mm. Both powerful.

I choose this.

Holy shit.

I'm gonna call. We gotta call.

Grace Bible Church of the Most
High reflecting God's love since 1964.

Yeah, hi.
Uh, is Butch Savage there?

Butch Savage?
Why would he be here right now?

We're doing
a Christian movie, uh,

and we'd love to cast Butch
in the role of God.

Well, this is his
church, not his agent.

I'm sorry, maybe I wasn't clear.
This is a...

It's an independent film, we're funding
it mainly out of pocket but we were...

She hung up.

Dude,
we got to get Butch Savage.

Hey, I'm calling because I saw
that you worked with Butch Savage.

I'm trying to get
his phone number.

I'm just no good at
asking people for money, you know.

I know, but I run the announcements so
we can do an offering there to fund it.

I'm telling you,
everyone would be really excited about it.

- Do you mean like in the main service?
- Yeah.

Stick with me.

- That's crazy.
- I know.

So, when I'm doing
yogurt, I like to put as many...

Son of a bitch.

No, not you.

Mr. Perfect. Mr. Perfect.

Evidently, preachers and bartenders
have a lot more in common than you may think.

Why? Because if they both do their job
right, they're making at least 10 percent.

- Hello, Elevate.
- So, what we're gonna do

is take a little bit of that
preacher tip,

put it in the prayer
and space pocket.

Before you guys leave today, I want
to share a very special video with you

from two of our newest members,
Luke and Tanner.

Enjoy.

This is Houston Contact
with a test One, two, three, four...

...four, three, two, one.

Troy, what the itchy double hockey
sticks is this? Turn that off.

When you see
only one set of footprints,

it was then my astronaut
I carried.

Christian movies are a great way
to impact the world

and they're also very lucrative.

Now, obviously,
all of us have eternal security

but financial security
is also very important.

We've been working really hard on a
story about an astronaut who finds God

only after being pushed
to her limits by desperation.

And space monsters.

Um, we've started the casting
process, which is a little tricky,

we want to get the right actors
for the right roles.

Ladies and gentlemen,
in the role of God,

I present to you Butch Savage.

I have to be honest right now
with myself.

We don't exactly 100 percent
have Butch Savage.

So... so to make this movie,
which could impact the lives of millions,

we're going to take up
an offering today.

So, let's make it a reality.

There's two offering buckets
upfront, if you're feeling generous.

We really appreciate it.

Have a wonderful Sunday.

Dude, you got Butch Savage?

Luke got Butch Savage.
Oh, my gosh. I am so excited.

Butch Savage has been my
favorite actor since I was a kid.

Luke's my best friend.

Do you know
how you're actually gonna...

Yeah, I'm thinking like Jessica
Chastain, Matt Damon in the Martian

but not Jessica Chastain and Matt
Damon in Interstellar. You know?

- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Yeah.

- Yeah. I like it.
- Yeah.

- You want to... you want to run it?
- Let's do it.

Okay.

I think we overdid it
with the green screen suits.

What?

No way. All these people walking
around, you got to be safe.

A Prayer in Space,
day one could not be going better.

We're talking
green screen suits.

These things fit
like a fucking glove.

I look like an Avenger.

Let's try one. Let's... let's get one
of these going. Astronaut, you ready?

Yeah.

Get in there.

Uh, camera's spinning.
Sound, how we feeling?

Sound is feeding.

The movie's great,
the script's great, Tanner's great

and, you know, it's hard to make something
bad that's about God and praising Him.

And I'm excited
for everyone to see it.

- Ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-row your boat.
- Action!

Do I sound like a director?

Cut!

Moving on. Action!

Action!

All right.

Action, astronaut!

Hey, Mom, we're finally here.

On Mars?

Yeah, Mom, on Mars.

It's pretty scary.

Always remember, if you're ever
feeling alone or end up actually alone on Mars,

God is always with you.

Come on, Mom,
I am a scientist now.

I'm not allowed
to believe in God anymore.

And cut!

Fucking perfect.

Stinking perfect.

- That was really good.
- Felt good.

- Yeah, yeah.
- That one felt good.

Yes.

We're saving Butch Savage
to the end, right?

Oh, yeah, last day.

Gives us time to really
grease the wheels.

I, honestly, have no idea
if he's gonna show up at all.

I... I've left close
to a hundred messages.

Nicky Steele says...

The only thing standing
between you and your dreams

is you and your dreams.

Action, astronaut!

Mom, the crew is gone.

All of them.

You're alone?

I'm alone, Mom, on Mars.

Oh, don't be scared,
it's just me Herman.

And I'm having a great time.

Did you see that space monster?

Uh...

- Uh, back to one.
- Okay.

Ah, the only reason
that I'm here, it's Tanner.

I don't know, I guess I...
I felt bad for them.

Okay, I'm gonna go back
in there, pretend like I care.

So, that was her crying out.

Now we've just got God
coming through the heavens.

- And the explosion.
- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

What do you think
he likes to be called?

BS, the Savage.

I think, it's probably
just Butch, you know.

Anyway, stop worrying, okay.

Butch is gonna show up
and he's going to crush it.

Okay,
this guy's a pro, you know.

It's what pros do. I'm positive.

I got a missed call
from the old lady.

I was hoping
it was about Butch Savage.

But the voicemail just said,
"Is my prescription ready?"

I don't know what that means.

That's a wrap
on week one, everybody.

Let's go to bingo.

Hey, jungle monster, I don't
think you have a balanced diet.

You needed more lead.

All right, first pull
out of the soup shoot, pay attention.

We got B-6, 6, 6.

Hail Satan.

Dude, where's Tanner?

I'm sure he's on his way.

Yeah, so it's just G, C, D,
you're throwing some lyrics

about God equals nature
type stuff, everybody cries.

- Yeah. Cool.
- Yeah.

All right,
you want to play some tunes?

- Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
- All right.

Maybe let's pray first.

Okay.

All right.

Cool.

So, the entire crew
goes into the cave

- but only the astronaut comes out.
- Okay.

And then we...

Hey, man, uh, I was talking
with some of the crew

and, uh, we've got some, uh,
some notes for the script.

You asked for notes?

Well, I mean Hoyt was talking about
the astronaut's arc and how...

Yes, the astronaut's arc is one
of the best aspects of the film.

But what if she reconnects with her
mom right before the space mons...

We're good on notes, guy.

Actually, dude,
Hoyt writes on a FOX show.

He's got some really great ideas
to make this thing pop.

I think A Prayer in Space is
just the beginning for Tanner.

I think this is really
just gonna be a...

a launching pad for him,
you know, into space.

Dude, we have to stick
to the original vision

or this whole thing
could go off the rails.

And between you and I,
Hoyt is weirding me out.

Hoyt is trying to help us.

That's what we have Herman for.

That's what we have Tiffany for.

Um-um, don't bring me into this.

Actually, Tanner, I've been meaning to
bring up the whole bar crew situation.

Look, I only have
two goals in life,

that's to make the best Christian movie
that's ever been made and to marry Brandy.

Dude, Brandy is never going to.

Never mind.

Can you believe that shit?

I've never said Luke is right
about anything

but I gotta tell ya,
Luke is right.

Hoyt, mm-hmm, not to be trusted.

They don't blink,
none of them, they just...

No, no, no, nobody goes inside
without wearing one of these.

Excuse me?

It doesn't make any sense
to me either.

No, no, no, no, young
lady, I am not putting that on.

Okay, so, uh, why don't you just wait
right here and, um, I'll go and get them.

Luke, Tanner.

- Pastor Mike.
- Hey, boys, happy last day.

Hey.

Yeah. Where's Butch Savage?
Can't wait to meet him.

Uh, the Savage
is in his dressing room. Right?

- Yeah, of course.
- Okay, okay.

Oh, FYI, I saw one of your crew members
pouring alcohol into his coffee.

Herman.

Well, anyway, look, I...
I only have an hour and I wanted me Butch.

And come on, it's time.

- Before we do that...
- Let's go meet him.

I've been waiting all day.

- Okay, let's go.
- Come on.

Hey, Butch Savage,
are you sleeping?

My father is here.
He wants to meet you.

Sorry, come back another time.

What the fuck?

Uh, Butch or...
or, uh, Mr. Savage, this is Pastor Mike.

Our church funded
this little mission

and, uh,
I'm such a big fan and all

and well, I was just wondering, I would love
to come in and just say a little quick hello.

Just a minute.

I'm doing Savage sit-ups.

Something's off.

Something's off my butt.

Busted.

Oh, I knew it.

It's not that, Dad.

It's just not clear
from the agent.

Uh, he's got the whole day
to show up.

Oh, Luke, I am ashamed.
How could you, son.

You know we can't afford
to be just donating money.

I'm sorry but I'm gonna have
to shut this down.

Dad, it's the last day.
We can still finish.

Look, I can play God or Jesus,

the prodigal son that's come down
from heaven to fix all the problems.

Ladies and gentlemen, my son...

Well, I'm guessing he convinced you
all to be part of this little movie

by promising something
he clearly could not deliver.

I'm sorry you've all wasted
your time.

But the movie is cancelled.

Tanner, thank you
for being so nice to my son.

But you might want to consider getting
yourself some more trustworthy friends.

Some people
just never seem to change.

Fuck.

I need a drink. No Bar?

We were so close to finishing.

We can still finish, man.

Your dad just canceled us.

I can't believe you didn't get Butch.
You told me you got Butch.

I just know how much you love
him, okay, all the marathons.

I didn't want to disappoint you.

Luke, we're supposed
to be teammates.

Teammates have to communicate in order
to work. There's no lying in team.

Besides, I could use a break.

What does Nicky Steele
have to say about this one?

Hey, at least there's one
good thing left in the world.

You want to go get a drink?

Thanks, Luke.

Now that the shoot is canceled, I guess
I have to go back to my other projects.

We don't wake up this early.

Mr. Perfect heard you.

I told you, this is the only
time I could help you move.

You're helping a buddy move or you're leading
a meeting of the Dead Poets Society.

Why are you being so weird?

Come on, Mr. Perfect.

Let's see what daddy number two
is really doing.

What the fuck?

This is the address
but I don't see a moving truck.

Do you?

Okay, so then he says,

"Hey, silly boy, I think
your fish put on a few pounds."

I get it.

What the hell is going on?

Sorry, friend, I think
you're in the wrong abode.

I'm at the right abode all right
,funny guy.

Tanner,
what the fuck is this shit, man?

Uh, guys, I... I am very sorry.

Can we talk about this outside?

Excuse me. Excuse me. Sorry.

Luke, I joined a small group that some of
the younger people from the church hosts.

What the fuck is a small group, man?
They didn't look small.

They looked fucking
normal size to me.

No, it's...

Look, it's just a smaller gathering
than the Sunday service, okay?

We get together, we talk about life, uh,
we help each other out, it's awesome.

This is officially the only
thing worse than CrossFit, man.

All right, look, man,
I wanted to invite you

but I don't know with your dad and
stuff, you clearly hate this.

My dad.

Fuck you, man.

Come on, Jolene, not now.

Not now.

The battery life
on these things is just...

Are you okay?

I'm fucking fine.

Mr. Perfect and I
have never been better.

Uh, I'm sorry, guys.

Yeah, I thought we were getting
robbed or something.

It's kind of weird.
I've never seen him like that.

Let's lighten the mood.

All right,
let's get back to Romans.

"The result was that their foolish
minds became dark and confused.

Claiming themselves
to be wise without God,

they became utter fools,
instead.

And then, instead of worshiping
the glorious, ever-living God,

they took wood and stone and
made idols for themselves."

No way!

So really,
I just wanted you two to meet.

Tanner here is one
of the funniest guys I know.

He's an actor,
a writer, director.

He's a creator.

Well, you guys know
it's a tough business

but I got the feeling
that you guys are even tougher.

So, what are you thinking
like comedy, drama?

Oh, um, is it too soon
to reboot Two and a Half Men?

Yeah, like a... like a really
intelligent poignant comedy.

All right,
and next fall we got Dirty 30.

Dirty 30, I-30.

Bingo!

Proud of you, buddy.

Make sure you get at the micro fungus.
It hides in the cracks.

It's sneaky.
But that's the good stuff.

I tied up the hose
the way you like.

You still going over
to Riverside?

No.

Come here.

Come here.

Where I'm about to send you
is a gift.

A gift given to you by me,
Jimmy.

And it's one
that will change your life.

This, my young friend,
is my best customer.

Traditionally,
I'd handle it myself

but my daughter is up for American
Ninja Warrior teen edition

and I want to be able
to give her my good juju.

Yeah, okay, cool.
It's no problem.

"Yeah. Okay, cool. No problem."

No, that's not gonna cut it.

I need this man's pool
to sparkle.

I need it to look like a bee
has never died in it.

I need it to look like not one
kid has ever taken the tugboat

to brown town
in the shallow end.

I need it to look like
the Olympics.

And I'm not talking about the shitty
ones that took place in Russia

where they killed all the dogs.
No.

I am talking about
motherfucking Sydney.

Okay, I'm on it.

My man.

That last meeting, you killed it in there.
You know that.

I...
I feel like it went really well.

And these new head shots,
they look great. You look great.

You're gonna be on a show
in no time. I know it.

Dude, thank you so much,
um, honestly, I...

I... I've never felt so good
about the way things are moving.

You don't have to thank me.

If anything, I...
I appreciate what we have here.

It's been really great spending
so much time with you.

Yeah.

Um, well you know, fingers
crossed, it all works out.

I truly think God
put you in my life for a reason.

God is good.

Oh, okay, I'm... I'm sorry.

Hoyt,
you know about me and Lisa.

I, uh, I guess I...
I misread something.

You know, it's fine.

Let's just forget
it ever happened.

Let's go grab a bite.

Hoyt, I'm...

I'm gonna go.

You know, you look like, um,

You look like a really handsome
version of Owen Wilson.

Welcome, friend.

I'm so glad you decided
to join us.

You know, when you hold
these kinds of parties...

...sometimes,
only the weirdos show up.

I'm actually here
to clean the pool.

My God

So wrong of me to assume
you were part of the lifestyle.

Well, welcome.

Ah, the Roman bath
could really use some scrubbing.

Hey, I gotta ask.

You're Nicky Steele, aren't you?

Why are you following me?

Who do you work for, fucker?

CIA? IRS? Yelp?

Oh, I actually work for you.

Sales.

Oh. Shit.
Hey, guy, you got to speak up.

What do you know
about the yo-yo?

Not much, I guess.

Then I'm gonna let you in
on a little secret.

The key to success is the yo-yo.

Check it.
It goes down, it goes up.

It can walk the dog.
It can go around the world.

But at the end of the day, it always
rises back up to its little blue home.

Now,
you being a fine tea salesman,

you spend your days talking about
tea, talking about weight loss,

but you do it,
so that at the end of the day,

you can go
to your little blue home.

Now you keep at it and one day,
that home is going to look just like this.

What a relief.

Man, I didn't know
what to expect.

I walk in, I get kicked
in the balls, you know,

but is there anything you could
give me to increase my sales?

Well, yes.

It's all about recruitment.

Selling the tea is for suckers.
You got to sell the sellers. Check it.

You sell bucks worth of tea,
what do you get?

- Five bucks?
- 250.

Jesus Christ.

Okay, 250. Now, let's say, you recruit
your buddy and he sells 50 bucks,

you get a buck and a quarter
for doing nothing, all right?

Plus, you make money on the
inventory you have to sell him.

You get money from him twice.

So it really is
a pyramid scheme?

Pyramids are great, guy,
if you're on top.

You want to take a real little peek
into the Nicky Steele crystal ball?

You want to see what the future of
entrepreneurial sales is really like?

Do you?

- Do you?
- Yeah.

Yeah.

Shazam, the Amish.

Any questions?

Yes.

So, the... the future
of entrepreneurial sales

is the one group of people that
doesn't believe in technology?

These guys can't do shit,
they can't smoke, they can't get high,

they can't get drunk,
they can't see tits,

except for one year when they
turn and they go on Rumspringa.

And these bad boys
are ready to burst.

Now who do you think the first
person they see is going to be?

You?

No.

You.

The minute they step off
the compound,

the first person they're gonna
see is you and you have got a kit.

Five hundred bucks buys them
a bottle of Nicky Steele vodka,

a carton
of Nicky Steele cigarettes,

a genuine certified
Nicky Steele vape pen.

Oh, Chihuahua.

And a coupon for 30 minutes
with Destiny.

Not that these bad boys
are gonna need 30 minutes.

It's gonna be the quickest
25 dollars she ever made.

So, the future is swindling the
Amish, making readymade Rumspringa's?

Readymade Rumspringa.

Readymade Rumspringa.

Fuck me.

Would you just sign that?

Don't worry, I will photocopy your signature
onto a legal document at another time

because you, my friend, have just
made yourself a fast one-y honey.

Yeah.

I'm going to need
the yo-yo back, too.

Thank you.

Hey, man, can... can we talk?

It's been a weird
couple of weeks.

Honestly,
aspects of it are great.

You know, the, uh, community sense
of something bigger than yourself,

it's like a, uh, healthier
less drunk version of the bar.

Dude, I get it, man,
I grew up there.

I think I'm less jaded
by the people than the religion.

Hmm.

Half of them babysat me.

I do like how the people
at your dad's church don't

try to pretend
like they know everything

or try to shove it all down
my throat.

Just the rules, you know, this idea of
being afraid to be who you really are.

Hey, man, are we cool?

We're cool.

You look like the Lannister
that works at Urban Outfitters.

You look like Sean Penn if you couldn't
change a tire and he had a nut allergy.

Shit.

Check it out.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah, okay.

This might be our best one yet.

Why did I have to be Khaleesi?

Hello.

Yeah.

Are you serious?

Well, no, no, exactly. What...
what role is bigger than God?

Wow.

Thank you so much.

Yeah, thank you.

We're back on.

Thank you all so much

for coming out to the last day
of filming A Prayer in Space.

Now, you may
or may not believe in God,

but it's clear
that you believe in us.

Now, we all have our differences,
especially you and I, Hoyt,

but there's one thing
that the church

and the bars have in common,
that's community.

So, let's come together
and crush this.

Marlon, how are we looking
with the explosives?

TNT, baby.

The bad boys are straight out of 1991
and they're packing motherfucking heat.

Great. We're gonna need to get
this shot off before he gets here.

We've got an hour.

- Hey.
- Hmm?

Bring it in. Bring it in.
Space shot.

- What's the frame for this per shot like kind of...
- Shh.

I made a hot sexy mistake
with my best friend

but this movie
is bigger than me.

It's bigger than any of us.

I mean it's, you know, so...

He...
he called it a sexy mistake?

I mean, that's a compliment.

Okay, we're gonna need
all hands on deck.

- You, too, Tiff.
- Hmm?

Get in there.

- Oh,
- Need you in.

Come on.

Everybody in position.

All right, here we go.

Action, space monsters!

And action, explosives!

And action, explosives!

I don't know what you want
from me, motherfuckers.

This shit is like 30 years old.

Okay, guys, it's fine,
just crop out the explosives

and I'll add that in VFX.

I can fix this whole thing
in the edit.

You know how to edit?

Uh, yeah, I'm an editor.

Worked for Nat Geo,
Disney, Marvel.

I mean,
I do all their digital content.

What...
what did you guys think I did?

- Oh.
- But I talk about it all the time.

I'm so sorry.

He's here.

Oh, my gosh. Dude, that is so much fun.
You're totally right.

- In the future, cars won't even exist.
- Yeah, yeah.

wait, wait, wait, wait,
I've got another piece of big news.

- To PR your backspot?
- Yes.

Um, actually I...

I think I'm gonna ask Lisa
to marry me.

- No shit.
- Yeah.

I'm happy for you, man.

- Thanks. Thanks.
- Genuinely.

Thank you.
Um, will you be my best man?

Who else are you gonna ask?
Herman?

Fair point.

Hey, reps for Jesus, right?

- Yeah?
- The shirts are perfect.

Let's get in there.

Are you ready for this?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We made a movie.

We made a movie.

Uh, Elevate Church,
thank you so much for coming.

Uh, before we get started, Luke and I
just wanted to say a real quick thank you.

Um, we put a lot of blood, sweat and
tears into this over the last few months

and none of it would be possible
without you.

So, thank you.
Thank you very much.

And now, without further ado,

the world premiere screening
of A Prayer in Space,

the story of the first prayer
ever to be prayed in space.

Enjoy the movie, everybody.

Hey, Mom, we're finally here.

On Mars?

Yeah, Mom, on Mars.

It's pretty scary.

Always remember,
if you're ever feeling alone

or end up actually alone on
Mars, God is always with you.

Come on, Mom,
you know I'm a scientist.

I'm not allowed
to believe in God anymore.

Mom, the crew is gone.

All of them.

I'm alone on Mars.

Lord, save me
from these space monsters.

Astronaut, you have come closer
to touching the hand of God

than any other astronaut
before you.

Leap up and use the lower gravitational
pull to fly yourself toward me.

You are the first astronaut
to give a prayer in space

and I have heard you
loud and clear.

Heaven, the final,
final frontier.

Boom.

Mom, my body is coming back home
and my soul is coming back to Jesus.

With this check for one hundred
thousand dollars,

you two have saved our mortgage
and our church.

Now, I'll admit I had my doubts.

But at the end of the day,
I will always invest in family.

My dad, eventually, came around.

In fact, he saved the movie.

And even though we didn't get Butch
Savage, Christflix still bought it.

I love you, Son.

Now, I know we've had our differences,
but I am truly, truly proud of you.

Love you.

Thank you, Son.

And to you,
our wonderful congregation,

I am so glad
that you all felt the same way.

Thank you for investing
in our church family.

Now, we still desperately need
to fix that roof.

So please, please pray
that we find the funds.

But for now, what did you
all think of the film?

♪ There is a world up above us ♪

♪ And man, it's pretty great ♪

♪ Yeah, clouds and
golden walkways ♪

♪ And around it
there's a gate ♪

♪ But you got to ignore
The doorman ♪

♪ If you wanna get inside ♪

♪ 'Cause we got boots
On the ground in the sky ♪

Could I have used the 50 grand?

Sure.

But Jimmy gave me back
my pool gig.

And my dad,
well, it's the least I could do.

Something else will come along.

Oh, uh, you and your dad are hanging
out a lot together now which is cool.

You've got a weekly activity.

Guy throws some mean axe.

Deep breath, follow through it.
It's in the follow through. Come on, son.

Ah... Yes.

Oh. That's all right,
that's all right.

You'll get it next time.
You'll get it next time.

He probably won't get it
next time.

Actually,
he hasn't gotten it ever.

Hey, where's your little
blond bitch?

Excuse me, Sir, now, this young
man that you're talking to,

well, he happens to be my son.

So, if you're looking
for his little blond bitch,

all you need to know is that
I am the little blond bitch now.

So, why don't you go
throw your hatchet?

♪ 'Cause we got boots
On the ground up here ♪

♪ Oh we got boots on the ground
In the sky ♪

♪ There's an army
Keepin' a watch for you and I ♪

Hey, pause, I got a missed call.

Hi, Luke. My name is Sarah
Watkins and I work for the Syfy Channel.

A Prayer in Space,
it blew us away.

I was really sad they replaced
your dad with Kevin Sorbo though.

We'd like to talk to you
and Tanner about Sharknado 12 .

We want you two to write and direct.
Call me back when you get this.

♪ Boots on the ground
in the sky ♪

Yeah, so, uh, after making
the movie, Herman got sober.

- For... for a while.
- For a little bit.

And that first communion
came around and hit him hard.

Lot of wine.

And Brandy, she saved our movie.

She really did.

Turns out she's an editor
for a lot of very reputable companies.

And we brought Marlon
on to Sharknado 12.

So...

...the guy finally got
his explosion.

Yeah!

♪ I hung a cross
To remember you by ♪

♪ It's eight feet tall
And six feet wide ♪

♪ To remember
The things you said ♪

♪ I hung it over my bed ♪

♪ That monstrosity
That was your tomb ♪

♪ Oh, it takes up
Most of the room ♪

♪ I hung a huge cross ♪

♪ Because your love's so pure ♪

♪ And if it fell
When I was sleeping ♪

♪ I'd be crushed for sure ♪

♪ Because they hung you
For your gospel of love ♪

♪ I added paint
To simulate blood ♪

♪ And nails
And remnants of hair ♪

♪ And pieces of the shroud
You did wear ♪

♪ And because some still
Do not believe ♪

♪ My roommates
They asked me to leave ♪

♪ I hung a huge cross ♪

♪ Because your love's so deep ♪

♪ And now I dream about you
Dying every time I sleep ♪

♪ I hung a life-size cross ♪

♪ Because your love's so pure ♪

♪ And if it fell
When I was sleeping ♪

♪ I'd be crushed for sure ♪

Come on.

Everybody now.

How big is your love?

Jesus' love was big.

It was big enough for all of us.

So, how big is your love?

And how big is your cross?

It's a symbol of that love.

And don't tell me you just have
a small house, a small room.

My room is very small
but my cross is still enormous.

Enormous.

Everyone...

♪ I hung a huge cross ♪

♪ 'Cause your love's so deep ♪

♪ Because your love is so deep ♪

♪ And now I dream ♪

♪ And now I dream about you
Dying every time I sleep ♪

♪ I hung a life-size cross ♪

♪ It could hold
A real human being ♪

♪ And in my living room
I built a huge nativity scene ♪

♪ I hung a monster cross ♪

♪ Because your love's so pure ♪

♪ It's so pure ♪

♪ And if it fell
When I was sleeping ♪

♪ I'd be crushed for sure ♪

♪ Crushed for sure
Crushed for sure ♪

♪ Crushed for sure
Crushed for sure ♪

♪ Crushed for sure
Crushed for sure ♪

♪ Crushed for sure ♪