Faith.Hope.Love (2021) - full transcript

- Hey guys.

- Hi.

- Hey.

- Oscar Fielding?

- Yeah, I guess.

- Seems like
the right place.

- What's up man?

- Hey.

- So you check it out?

- Did any of you guys
get like a key or something?

Cause this door's locked.



- Okay.
- This doors locked?

- There's another one down here.

- After you.

- Hey, how's
it going guys?

- Hi.

- Miguel.

- Man,
check out the snow.

- Code is 776, come on in.

- Hey.

- It worked.

- All right Fielding, I see you.

- Hello?

- Anybody home?

It's warm.



- Yeah, nice place.

- It's nice.

- It's gorgeous.

- Hey guys, check this out.

Welcome Cole, Miguel, Riley,
Spree, Mollie, and Richard.

Welcome to my cabin, to
our work, my getaway.

You may be familiar with some
of my books or documentaries.

Okay, let me explain.

I'm a member of the church

and I want to
discover who you are.

I want to write
a book about you,

the millennials,
maybe, maybe let's see,

maybe make a documentary.

So I sent out the email you
got, thank you for responding

and I selected you.

Not sure why, just
a gut feeling.

Talk to me about
whatever comes to mind.

What makes you
tick, your thoughts,

your passions,
your dreams, fears,

hopes your outlook on
love, life, intimacy.

- Intimacy, that
won't take long.

- The church, God, eternity,
that kind of stuff.

I've left a camera
on the counter.

Please record your stories,
tell me who you are.

Have fun.

You're on your own.

The girls can sleep in the
bedroom, above the garage

the guys can sleep in the house.

I really appreciate your help

and I look forward to
learning more about you.

I ordered a few pizzas for you

and please put away your phones.

You can get them back when
you go to bed tonight.

Oscar fielding.

- Come on, that is
really, the phones?

- Yeah, we gotta
put the phones away.

- Empty bowl.

- Let's do it.

- Okay.

- Why not?

- Goodbye.

- You're not
gonna die without.

- Oh my God.

- Not funny.

Come on man.

- So who's gonna do the video?

- Looks pretty complicated.

- Nah, I got it.

I'm a film major.

I actually played around with

this camera in my last semester.

- I think we're missing someone.

- Cole.

- Here.

- Miguel.

- Yo.

- Riley.

Yeah, he's not here yet.

- Does anybody else think
that this is a little crazy?

Like weird?

- You bet ya.

- I thought he'd
be here at least.

- Yeah, a little strange.

- I left something in my
truck, I'll be right back.

- Don't bail on us.

- Oh my God.

Thank you so much.

- Of course.

Have fun.

- Thank you.

Hey, is this Fielding's place?

- It is if your names Riley.

- Yeah, I'm Riley.

- Really?

- Really Riley.

- Okay, well I'm Cole.

- Really Cole?

- Yeah.

Anyway, come on in.

- So yeah, I
guess we're on our own.

- Okay.

- Oh, I need your phone.

- Seriously?

- I know.

Hey guys, this is Riley.

- Hi.

- Hey.

She's a she yo.

- Welcome.

- Welcome.

- Welcome lady.

- So let's introduce ourselves.

- Okay.

- Talk to me.

- Hi, I'm Spree, I'm
from Whitefish, Montana.

I am a dance major at
Utah Valley University

and I've been
dancing all my life.

So yeah, that's me.

- Wait, wait, wait.

You have to make a
funny face at the end.

- Why?

- Those are the rules.

- Really, the rules?

- Okay, come on.

- Okay, fine.

- No, no, no, do
the whole thing over

and then make the funny face.

- No.

- Come on, dude.

- Okay.

- It would just
make it, you know?

- Okay.

Hi, I'm spree, I'm from
Whitefish, Montana.

I go to UVU.

I'm a dance major.

I have danced all my life
because I am a dancer.

- Okay, cool.

- All right, you're up
Miguel, give me the camera.

- Okay.

Miguel here from West
Valley Film Major

at Salt Lake Community
College, Spielberg and embryo.

- So, why slick?

- Because they have
a great film program.

- Really?

- Yeah, they do.

- All right then.

- Oh, okay, your turn.

- Hi, I'm Mollie.

I'm from Boston,
English major at the U.

Love, love, love Shakespeare.

- How about a quote?

- This above all to
thine own self be true

and it must follow as the night

the day thou canst not
then be false to any man.

- Chapter and verse?

- Hamlet, act one,
scene two, scene three.

- Nice.

- Dank.

All right.

- Mollie.

- Yeah, I'm Cole.

Just coming back from
taking some time off,

history major at the U.

- Cool, cool Cole.

Gonna make a funny face or what?

Yeah, that was hilarious, okay.

- Oh, Riley, poly
psy major at BYU.

Transferred from
university of Virginia, UVA

and went on a mission to Brazil.

So .

- Beautiful.

- Fancy, she's fancy.

- Nice.

All right, you're up.

- Richard.

Getting my master's
in physics at the U.

I'm planning to go back East

to get my doctorate,
MIT hopefully.

- Wow.

- Oh yeah.

- Cool.

How about that
funny face though?

- Come on, lame.

- Come on.

- Smarty pants.

- We all did it.

- Guys, just.

- Okay, all right.

Well, that's a start.

- So what are we
really doing here?

Why does this Fielding guy want
us to talk about ourselves?

- It was in the
email he sent us.

He's writing a book.

Maybe doing a documentary,
some research.

I don't know.

- Well, we're here.

Let's go do something.

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

- I mean I could eat.

- So Spielberg, how'd
you get your name?

- My parents?

- I mean do you have
any middle names or?

Mexicans like to give
their kids a lot of names.

- Dude.

- Well first of all,

my families not from
Mexico, they're from Peru.

Not everything south of the
boarder is Mexico Richard.

And yeah, my full name

is Miguel Xavier Fernando
Martinez Pablo Rivera.

You can call me any of those.

- I'll go with Spielberg.

- I'm down with that.

- Here cool?

- Yeah,
right there is fine.

- Thank you.

That was fun dude.

- Yeah.

- So, anybody here married?

Been married?

- Not a chance.

- Girl.

- Hey, I'm just asking.

- Okay, well then
who's not a virgin?

Yeah right.

- Yeah.

- No ones believes that.

- I was kidding guys.

- Obviously.

- But seriously, who's not?

- All right, that's
a bit inappropriate.

- Be nice Richard.

- It's a little bit personal.

- Isn't that what we're
doing here, getting personal?

- Let's move on.

- Come on, let's answer the
question, who's not a virgin?

- Shut up Richard.

- That's not very nice.

- I wasn't trying to be nice.

- Come on guys, just chill.

- Okay.

Anyone been engaged.

- Why are you all looking at me?

- You look like you
might have been engaged.

- Really?

- Yeah.

- So have you?

- All right, let's go inside.

- My bad.

I bet he was hot.

- Anybody
ever held hands?

- What does it matter?

- Shut up man.

- What's up Cole,
what's your story?

- No story, just me.

- Not buying that.

- Me neither.

- Okay, just the normal provo,
Utah kid, nothing special.

Did all the right
things you know?

Duty to God award, Eagle scout.

- I bet he never missed
a day of seminary.

- Into sports, baseball mainly.

- Go Red Sox.

- Keep going.

- Senior class president,

look, this is pretty
boring stuff, guys.

- We interrupt this to say

we've just found a
good little Mormon boy.

Go on.

- All right, went to the U
straight out of high school.

- Baseball scholarship?

- Yeah.

- Nice

- Way to go Cole.

- Did you
go on a mission?

- I did.

- Where?

- South Africa, Johannesburg.

- Wow, that
must have been cool.

- So how was South Africa?

- It was challenging.

I mean, it was great, but.

- But what?

- I got in a car accident.

- What happened,
did anybody get hurt?

- Yeah, I did.

My right leg got
pretty jacked up

so they sent me home
to have surgery.

- That sucks.

- Sorry.

- The whole thing sucked.

- Oh, how'd the surgery go?

- Put a metal rod, bunch
of screws in my thigh.

Fixed a few things in my knee.

I mean the leg's all right,
but no more scholarship.

- Right.

- Other than that,
it's all good.

- It seems like there's
more to the story.

- So Spielberg,
give me the camera.

How'd you get into
this whole film thing?

- Ever since I was a kid
I've wanted to make movies.

- What was
the first movie you saw

that made a real
impression on you?

- Napoleon dynamite.

- You're kidding.

- I was nine years
old and I loved it.

My parents had no idea
what the movie was about.

- I love that movie.

- Yeah, Christmas
that year actually

my mom got me a video camera.

I've been doing it ever since.

- Okay, so what other
movies do you like?

- Oh wow.

Love all kinds.

The classics of the fifties,
musicals, comedies, dramas.

Pretty much everything.

- Favorite directors?

- Easy.

Spielberg of course.

Hitchcock, Scorsese,
Coppola, Woody Allen.

James Cameron, hated
Titanic though.

- What?

That was a classic.

- Ron Howard,
Tarantino was cool,

but too far out for me.

Then there's the old school,

Fellini, Ingmar Bergman,
gotta love Orson Welles.

Rosebud.

Citizen Kane?

- I have no idea.

- Wow, okay.

Seriously you guys?

- So Spree, you're
a dancer, right?

- Yes.

Been dancing since I was four.

Catherine's dance studio.

- How'd you get the name Spree?

- My dad, served a
mission in Germany

and there was a river
there named Spree

and he liked it so now there's
a girl here named Spree.

- And he likes you.

- Yeah.

- What else?

- I like to eat peanut butter,
pickle, and onion sandwiches.

- Ew.

- That's gross.

- That's nasty.

- No, guys, it's
actually way good.

I'm gonna make you one
and you're gonna love it.

- I'm not gonna try it, so.

- Not gonna love
it, not gonna try.

All right, keep
going, keep going.

- Well most people
think I'm just

this shallow cheerleader
type from Montana.

- Yup.

- Hey.

There is some truth to that.

So yeah, that's me.

- Oh my gosh.

- Oh my gosh.

- Loser.

- So sneaky.

- That's good.

- I love this game.

- All right, Richard,
Richard, the man of mystery.

You've been awfully quiet.

What's your deal?

- Not really in the mood.

Don't have anything to say.

- Yeah, you do.

I can see it.

- Really?

- Yup.

- What do you see?

- Someone who's confused.

- Angry.

- Sad.

- Handsome.

- Really?

- Yeah.

- A sweet guy.

- Is that a compliment?

- Of course.

- So do you have anyone
significant in your life?

- Nope.

Well, my family.

- Ever had anyone significant?

- No, not really.

- What does that mean?

- It means I've never
had any one significant,

I've had lots of significant's.

At the same time.

- That's the way you do, huh?

- Okay guys, how about
we step this up a notch?

Ultimate spoons.

- Yes.

- I am so much
better at that game.

- You've never
played this before?

- It's so fun.

- Sorry.

- I'm sorry, did I?

- Yeah, you're good.

- Okay.

So Mollie, you're from Boston,

went to BC, how'd
you end up here?

- Well these missionaries seem
like they were everywhere.

Cute guys.

- Oh yeah.

- And one day they saw me.

It was raining and I
was standing underneath

an awning outside a
Starbucks on Beacon street

sipping a midnight
mint mocha frappuccino.

Gosh, I missed that.

Anyway, I was hoping
the rain had stopped

and they came over
and stood next to me,

started talking about Jesus.

- So how Irish
Catholic were you?

- I don't know.

We only went to mass a
couple of times a year.

Christmas, Easter,

did the Holy communion
thing when I was eight.

- Interesting.

- Yeah, it was weird.

I was all dressed in white

and my family was super excited.

I had no idea what was going on.

Did my first penance
when I was seven.

- What the heck is that?

- It's where you
go to the priest

and you confess all your sins.

- Wait, wait, wait,

you had sin to confess
when you were seven?

- I'm from Boston,
of course I did.

- Yeah, I'm just kidding,
I can't remember.

But the missionaries
got to talking

and kept raining,
the more it rained,

the more interesting they got.

Pretty soon right
there on Beacon street

we're talking about Joseph
Smith and the book of Mormon.

- What was your reaction?

- Well first I thought they were

talking about the
Broadway musical

and that some guy named Joseph
Smith was starring in it.

- No way.

- I had no idea

But I don't, I don't know.

Thought it was interesting.

I wasn't looking for
anything like God, you know,

hadn't really thought about it.

But all of a sudden I
was thinking about it.

- Is Oscar fielding here?

- No.

- No.

- You're not Mr. Fielding?

- Nope.

- No.

- No.

- Is this his house.

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

- Are you sure I'm
at the right place?

- We're pretty
hungry, pizza guy.

Can we have the pizzas?

- Okay.

- Thanks pizza guy.

- Thank you.

- Drinks.

- Bye.

Did you see his face?

- So Riley, you
were weren't you?

- What?

- Engaged.

- Drop it.

- Actually, yeah, I was.

- What happened?

- Who dumped who?

- He didn't dump me.

- So you dumped him?

- Kinda.

- Kinda?

You either did or you didn't.

- Right, right, fine.

I dumped him.

- Why?

- Oh.

- We're just being
honest here Riley.

Open.

- Look.

Okay, yeah.

He and I had been dating
since high school.

He was a couple of years older.

Anyway, he went to
college, it was nearby.

So he lived at home.

We're in the same ward.

I used to like to see him
bless the sacrament on Sundays.

- Cool.

- Did he go on a mission?

- Yeah.

- Did you date
while he was gone?

- Kinda.

- Kinda?

- Yes, yes I did but
not, you know, seriously.

- What happened
when he got back?

- That's a big, no.

We're shut down.

- So Mollie, it's your turn.

- Wildest thing that's
ever happened to you?

- Not going there.

- No, I want to hear this.

- Come on, come on.

- I know you have good stories.

- No, I am from Boston, that
should pretty much cover it.

- Not even.

- Okay, okay.

All right.

It's not the wildest thing
that ever happened to me,

but I got pepper sprayed
my freshman year.

- No, what?

- Why, how?

- It's a long story.

- No.

- And?

- Okay, what happened?

- Come on.

- Okay so Mollie, what's with
all the Shakespeare stuff?

- Oh, I just love Shakespeare.

I studied him all
through high school,

was in a couple of plays

and then I was an
English major at BC

with a Shakespeare emphasis.

- Did you
ever play Juliet?

- No, Lady Macbeth.

- Yes.

- Seems so weird to me.

- You have heard of
Shakespeare right?

- Yeah, but I don't--

- I just love the guy, okay?

When my parents
were going through

their divorce his
thoughts on love,

life, fear, anger, grief,

it just kind of got me
through the whole thing.

The Bard was sort
of my scripture

before I found the real stuff.

- That's cool.

- That's
awesome, that's awesome.

- Yeah, it's pretty awesome.

- Chubby bunny.

- You have
to say chubby bunny.

- You have to say it.

- And now we just dance.

- Nice.

- Come on, bring it in.

Oh what's that?

- That's how they
do it at the Y huh?

- Look what I found.

- Oh my God.

- This stuff is
seriously the best.

- Oh nice.

- Have you ever had that?

- Yes I have.

- It's my favorite brand.

Don't tell the boys.

- I will not.

That spoon thing was crazy.

- I know, that is one of
my families FAT games.

- Oh yeah?

Hey Mollie.

- Hey.

- This is for you.

- Thank you, gratzie.

- So where did you grow up?

- Everywhere.

My dads a big shot in the
air force so born in Germany,

lived in California,
Japan, Turkey.

Ended up at the Pentagon.

You?

- Oh, just Montana, and here.

I did spend a little
bit of time in Colorado.

- So, why'd you
transfer for UVU?

- UVA.

- Right, Virginia.

- Yeah, just wanted to get away.

You can really dance girl.

- Thanks.

Goodnight Spree.

- Goodnight.

- Wasn't sure you'd come.

- Neither was I.

It's pretty.

- Yeah it is.

Can I show you something?

- Sure.

- Take a moment and breath
in the mountain air.

Listen to the wind
blow through the trees.

- Yeah, it's weird how
you can't see the wind,

how you can only feel it.

- Yeah, kinda like God.

- Yeah, kinda.

- Kind of.

- Are you smiling Cole?

- Yeah, you make me smile?

Anyway, above the wind and
trees you got the stars,

planets, constellations,
galaxies.

- And what else?

- It's a new moon.

Saturn's the most visible
planet this time of year,

and when it's dark like
this in the mountains

you can see everything,
it's remarkable.

The whole Milky Way and more.

- Keep going.

- Mars and mercury
won't be visible

for another month or so
but, well there's Polaris.

The North star, the
big dipper, Orion,

but Venus, the planet
of love and beauty

won't be visible for
another few weeks.

- So how do you know
about all this stuff?

- Spent some time on
a ranch in New Mexico.

- So you're a cowboy Cole.

- No, not really.

- So did you have anyone to look

at the stars with in New Mexico?

- No.

- Why not?

- I was there with a bunch of
guys, sort of a work thing.

- Sorry.

- I'm not, it was good for me.

Besides, I had the stars
to give me company.

Cold?

Who was that guy who dropped
you off this morning?

- You saw that.

- I did.

- Jealous?

- Curious.

- He's just a friend.

Cole.

- Wow, what
happened to you guys?

- Shut up Richard.

- Wow.

- Morning.

- Morning Riley.

- It's hot.

- Smell amazing.

- This looks so good.

- This is beautiful.

Thanks Richard.

Oh, shouldn't we say
a blessing first?

I'll say it.

Our dear kind and
gracious heavenly father.

We are grateful for
this beautiful day

and for this breakfast

and for Richard who prepared it.

We pray that we will
have a great day

and we love the father

and we say these things

in the name of thy son,
Jesus Christ, amen.

- Amen.

- Sup, Richard you a chef?

- You serve a mission to France,

you learned a lot about cuisine.

- Do you still speak French?

- Course.

- Well say
something in French.

- Really?

- Yeah.

- Okay.

- Oh, what's that mean?

- Something in French.

- No really, say something.

- No, I just did,

is something in French.

- Yeah, but what?

- Something in French.

- Richard.

- Oh, Spree.

- Spree, Spree, ,

whatever he said, means
something in French,

that's what it means.

- Jerk, okay, well
say some more.

- Okay, I'm just going to
interrupt you right there

and say that that
is really sexy.

- Mm hmm.

- I'm not like the first girl
has ever told you that, right?

- No.

- What are you guys doing?

- Just cooling off.

- It's
freezing out here.

- It's beautiful though.

- Yeah it is.

- How's your social
life Richard?

- Non-existing.

- When was
your first kiss?

- High school?

- Was it electrifying?

- Shut up.

- Were there fireworks?

- No, not really.

- They must not
have done it, right?

- Oh, that's a
distinct possibility.

- When was your last kiss?

- It's been awhile.

- You're
missing out, dude.

- I think I see life a little
differently than you guys do.

- Differently, so you
don't connect with us?

- I think you guys are great.

- But no connection?

- Well, what kind of connection
are we talking about?

- Connection.

- Like Riley and Cole?

- Yeah, like them.

- I don't know.

- Bummer.

- I don't really want to be
like Riley and Cole anyway.

- They're disgusting.

- It's only been one day,
I mean give me a break.

- It's a lot of
pending for one day.

- It's a lot.

- Dude, are you
kidding me, dude?

Grow up dude.

What the freak, that was cold.

- More grief to hide,
than hate to water love.

It's beautiful right.

- It's gorgeous.

- Do you even
know what it means?

- Not a clue.

- Hey guys,
come check this out.

Look who I found on Facebook.

It's Riley.

Oh my gosh, you're so cute.

You're so cute.

- Hey, is this your ex?

Hey, what happened
with him anyway?

- Yeah.

How did it go when he got
back from his mission?

- Well, it was like
Disneyland, my birthday,

and Christmas all
rolled into one.

- Dang.

Somehow it just didn't
work out, did it?

- Nope.

- How long did it take
for him to propose?

- About a month.

- Details?

- Details, details.

- He rented a billboard
on the freeway.

Yeah, one of the
electronic kinds

and just flashing really
cute pictures of us.

- Romantic.

- Seems a bit much.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah he took us

to a quiet place where we
could see the billboard.

It was like at 10:30 at night.

And as we leaned against
the front of his car

he got down on one knee
and asked me to marry him.

- And were your
parents okay with this?

- Sort of.

Yeah, I don't, I don't know.

I was only 19 at the time.

- Wow.

- Yeah, yeah.

So my dad told me, he thought
I should just take it slow

and you know, fast
and pray about it.

The standard Mormon response
to pretty much everything.

- Did you?

- No, not really.

I thought I knew
what I was doing

and I mean we'd been dating
for, at that point, 3 years.

Yeah, three years.

So just seemed like
the logical next step.

- Did he get you a ring?

- A gorgeous ring.

Yeah, and we
started making plans

and I couldn't stop staring

at my hands smiling,

but well now I have a
CTR ring on that finger

just to remind me,

but yeah, I had to tell that
story about a million times.

- So engagement
pictures, Facebook,

Instagram, honeymoon plans?

- All of the above.

- Oh gosh.

- What happened?

- Come on guys.

- Richard, what's up?

- Nothing.

- Well, what do you like
to do, in to sports?

- Nope.

- Why not?

- What's it to you?

- Just making
conversation, Richard,

you know, getting
to know each other.

- All right.

When I was about five,
they found out I had

a heart condition,
irregular rhythm thing.

I mean, it's fine now,

but my parents were
pretty conservative.

I wanted play sports
in high school

but they wouldn't
sign off on it.

- And what'd you
do in high school?

- You know that
there's more to do

in high school then
just sports Spielberg.

I studied a lot.

I got great grades, drama club.

- Hey.

- I was in a Romeo and Juliet.

It was a disaster.

Group laughs.

- Did you play Romeo?

- Juliet.

- That makes sense.

- Like I said, it
was a disaster,

but I was in the chess club.

- That's really lame.

- I know, I know.

Oh, I was a one team.

- Which one?

- The debate team.

- That's not a team.

- That does not count.

- You get a letter
mans jacket for that?

- Hey, hey, whoa, you can
laugh but it was cool.

I mean we took state,
no one even came close.

- Fair enough.

- So I was in chess
club, drama club,

debate team, physics club.

Oh, even the Latin club

Thought it might come in handy

if I went into medicine,
or Roman mythology,

or if I wanted to be a botanist.

I was a real social
animal in high school.

- Really?

- No.

- So you ever been engaged?

- Is that a serious question?

- Guess not

- So Cole.

Did you finish your
mission to South Africa?

- Actually, no.

- Why not?

The leg was okay.

- True, but it took
some time to heal.

- Did you want to go back?

- Too many memories?

- Too many questions.

- Still seems like
there's more to the story.

- Yeah.

- Hey.

- Hey.

- You okay?

- Yeah, I'm fine.

- You said there was
more to the story.

- I didn't say
that, Richard did.

- Is there?

- When I was in the hospital,
an infection set in.

There was a lot of pain and I
was taking all kinds of meds.

- What kinds?

- The normal kinds of
painkillers they give you.

- Heavy duty stuff?

- Yeah, pretty much.

- You got hooked on them.

Didn't you?

- Yeah, I did.

- So that's why you didn't
go back to Johannesburg.

- You could say that

- Spree, something personal.

Okay, most interesting thing
that's ever happened to you.

- Yeah, let's hear it.

- Interesting, personal.

- Hey, it's okay.

I mean, Riley was engaged and
she totally screwed that up.

Richard has no idea who he is.

Cole did drugs, and Miguel's
a want to be film guy,

and I'm just a
Shakespeare freak.

We're all just your average,

everyday, LDS millennials honey.

- Cheerleader, dancer, I
have a gun in my backpack.

That isn't personal
enough for you guys?

- No way.

- Come on, let's hear it.

- Personal.

I dunno.

- You're thinking of something.

- Yeah?

- Okay, when was
your first kiss?

- Oh, wow.

- How old were you?

- Let's see.

14.

- Wow

- Young.

- You weren't even old
enough to date yet.

- Was he cute?

- Yeah, he was my boyfriend.

- Was it good?

- I guess.

- What else?

- I don't know.

- Spit it out.

- I had a baby when I was 15.

That's pretty personal.

- Yeah, it is.

- Same guy who kissed you?

- Wow, 15.

Did you think about
having an abortion?

- Mollie.

- Don't, jeez.

- Mollie.

- That's insensitive.

- What?

It's a legit question.

- Yeah, it is guys.

My boyfriend's
parents wanted me to,

you know get an abortion

but that was never really
an option, you know?

- How'd it happen?

- We'd been dating for a while.

Kind of behind my parents' back.

And then one night.

- Did he rape you?

- No, no, he didn't.

You know, it's funny.

There's a period of time

when you don't know
if you're pregnant

and it's just sort
of this waiting game.

- You didn't tell your parents?

- No, not right away.

I went online asking questions.

I was just so young.

I didn't know anything.

We never really talked about
that kind of stuff at home.

- He must've freaked out.

- Yeah.

You know you think
there's very little chance

that you could
actually be pregnant,

but then you're late.

- Late for what?

- Seriously?

- Late Spielberg.

- Right, got it, sorry.

- Time went by, I kept hoping.

- And what'd you do?

- I finally rode my bike
down to the drug store.

It was an old, pink bike
with a basket in front

and streamers on the handlebars.

It's big fat tires.

I'd heard about pregnancy tests.

Never thought that
I'd have to buy one.

I didn't want to go home

so I stopped at this
old rundown gas station.

And as I sat there on the
toilet in this bathroom,

just staring at the thing

I'd never been so
scared in my life.

- I can't even imagine.

- I mean, what was I going
to do if I was pregnant?

I was only 15.

I just sat there and
stared at the thing.

One line, not pregnant,
two lines, pregnant.

And sure enough, two
little red lines.

The kit came with two
so I tried it again.

- And what'd you do?

- I just sat there
on the toilet,

in that disgusting bathroom

flies buzzing around
smelled so bad

and the sink was filthy

and I just cried, long and hard.

I think balled would
be a better word.

Must have been pretty loud

because the guy at the gas
station, he was really nice.

He knocked on the door
to see if I was okay.

And I told him I was
having a bad day.

Yeah, I was having a bad day.

- How'd your parents take it?

- My mom was cool about it.

Actually think she was pregnant

with me when my
parents got married.

I'm not sure, maybe not,

but my dad just said something

about being more careful
and walked out of the room.

- Did you stay in school?

- It was the summer
after my sophomore year.

And my parents decided
to send me to Colorado,

to live with my grandparents
and have my baby.

My grandparents were great.

Really cool.

It was actually my
grandma who introduced me

to the peanut butter,
pickle and onion sandwiches.

She said it was all she could
eat when she was pregnant.

- Where's the baby now?

- He's in Montana.

- So your mom's raising him.

- That's good.

So you still get to see him?

- Yeah.

Yeah, I see him, I do.

- Spree, I'm sorry.

I think you're amazing.

- Thanks.

- What do you think
Oscar is going

to do with this
video, we're making?

Better not put it on YouTube.

- Yeah, I'm sure he's
not going to do that.

- No really, are
we the normal millennials?

- I'm not sure
that's what Fielding wants.

- You guys are making me feel
more normal all the time.

- Do we really want to
tell him our stories?

I mean, is that what we agreed

to when we answered the email?

- Yeah, I think it is.

- I don't know.

It just seems like
all the fun's gone.

We're all a mess.

- Not Spielberg.

- Is that what he's
after the mess?

- Are we sure that
we want to share

our stuff with the world?

- Yeah, I don't know

because I thought it
would be more political

or religious,
socials, not personal.

- Well, now it's
pretty personal.

- Are you bailing
on us, Richard?

- Yeah, yeah, I think I am.

I just met you guys, now
I'm talking about stuff

I don't want to talk about.

- Nobody's judging you.

We all have our issues.

- Not like me you don't.

- Oh, poor Richard.

His story is just
so hard to tell.

- Well I'm not buying it,
you just don't trust us.

- Why should I trust you?

- That's a good question.

Let's put it out to the group.

Why do we trust?

- Well, Hemingway said
the best way to find out

if you can trust somebody
is to trust them.

- I'm good.

- Same.

- I'm in.

- All right, you know what?

Here's what I see when
I look around the room.

I see a bunch of people
trying to figure out life,

trying to live a gospel
that's challenging to live.

- It's got a great
retirement plan.

- Yeah but the benefits
come at the end.

- What about now?

- I get payments along the way.

- Okay, fine.

But the big benefits
come at the very end.

And that's what we
really want, isn't it?

Sorta like this, this big fat,

juicy carrot dangling out there,

enticing us with stuff we
can't really understand.

- Like what?

- Like mansions,
eternity, living with God

and families are forever.

I just, anything about
eternity, it sounds great

but I honestly don't really
know what it all means.

Do you?

- For me it means
living each day,

the best that I can and hoping

that it all works
out in the end.

- I wish I could see
it like that Spree.

I really do.

I'm done with this.

- Hey.

- What?

- Come on, you can't leave now.

You're part of us.

- I don't really feel
like a part of you.

- So you're just going
to walk out, huh?

What are you afraid of Richard?

That we're going to peek into
the corners of your life.

See something in
you we don't like.

- No, I think I might see
things in me that I don't like.

- That's what we're
doing here, Richard.

No one's judging anybody,
nobody's pointing fingers.

We have a chance to
tell a story, our story.

A story that could
actually make a difference.

Isn't that what our
generation is all about?

To show our neighbors

and the people that we go
to church with that yeah,

everybody's sitting at
church on Sunday mornings

has issues that nobody
else is aware of.

And you want to walk
on it because of what?

You think no one else has
the same issues as you do?

Well, trust me,
Richard, they do.

- We already talked
about the trust thing.

- All right, so you sit back

and watch Spree open
up and spill her guts.

Riley, me, you're not alone.

No, he needs to hear
this, you're not alone.

You're not the only one
going through stuff, man.

And now you want
to walk out on us

and most importantly
on yourself,

and to be honest, it's pathetic.

You're only shutting
yourself down.

You're a coward who's
afraid to really be honest

and that's what's going on
here, you selfish prick.

- Go to hell Cole.

- Yeah, go ahead and walk out.

- Nice job, Mr. Perfect.

The guy who hurt his leg

and took a few pills is suddenly

a Saint who knows what's
best for everyone.

- I didn't meet it that way.

- Yeah?

It sure came across like that.

- Look, I was only
trying to help.

- Your idea of help sucks.

- Cole, I really think.

- No, not right now.

- Hi.

- I guess I make
Cole uncomfortable.

- Do you do it on purpose?

- No.

- Just comes naturally huh?

- I suppose.

- I'm sorry about what
happened in there.

I have no idea.

- It's all right.

I hated what he said, I
hated the way he said it.

I just hate the way
it makes me feel.

- How so?

- In spite of the way he
came across, he was right.

I am afraid, Mollie.

- Of what?

- Did you really
get pepper-sprayed
your freshman year?

- Okay I was at a frat
party and I lost a bet.

- What?

What was the bet?

- I had to choose between
getting pepper sprayed

or taking off all my clothes
and jumping in the pool.

- Gosh.

- I should have
jumped in the pool.

- Should have jumped
in the pool, yeah.

- Yeah, cause getting
pepper sprayed sucked.

- Oh yeah.

- Hey, I thought
I'd find a here.

You taking off?

- No, I'm not going anywhere.

I just wanted to get
away from everyone.

- Including me?

Mollie was pretty harsh.

I'd like to say nice
things to your Cole.

Tell you she was out of line,

but that big speech
you gave in there,

you know about hanging in there

and being there for the
group and not giving up.

And yet you're in your truck.

You're running away and
feeling sorry for yourself.

- If that's what you
came here to say.

- It's okay to not
be perfect, you know?

- I never thought of
myself as perfect.

- So what do you
think of yourself?

- I don't know, a guy who
had everything going for him

and then screwed it all up.

- You thought you'd get through

life without making
any mistakes?

- No, just not the
ones I've made.

- We all make mistakes Cole.

You know, we agreed to all this.

- Yeah, I know we agreed
to Fielding's email.

- No, I'm not talking
about Fielding.

Okay.

- All right.

- And look, about last night.

- I'm sorry about that.

I was a little.

- I'm not sure.

- You sure about that?

- Yeah.

And I know what really
happened in South Africa.

We can talk about it.

- Check it out, chopsticks.

- Nice.

- Hey guys.

- Hey.

- All good?

- Yeah.

- I'm not ready for this.

- Hey it's fine, it okay.

- Now is the winter
of out discontent.

Richard the third,
act one, scene one.

- I think we're all
trying to figure out

what we're doing here.

- Why we came here
in the first place.

- Maybe that's not important.

Maybe we just need
to keep going.

- Mollie, you met the
missionaries at a Starbucks.

- Waiting
for the rain to stop.

- And when it stopped?

- We just kept talking,
before I knew it,

I had a book of
Mormon in my hand

and I had missed my
Shakespeare class.

- Wow.

- Had you ever heard of Mormons?

- Everybody's heard
of him Spielberg

but I had no idea
what they were about.

I'd heard the usual stuff
like Utah, polygamy,

something about
your Wonder Wear.

- My folks call them Gs.

- Garmies.

Yeah.

- So the missionaries
wanted to meet again

and I didn't think the
sidewalk was the best place.

There was no way we
were going to my mom's.

My dorm was out of the question.

So we decided to meet
where we met, Starbucks.

I guess you could say that's
where I became a Mormon.

- So you're a Mollie Mormon.

- Oh gee, Richard never
heard that one before.

- I really don't think
she's a Mollie Mormon

- And your parents
didn't like it?

- Are you kidding?

I mean, joining another
religions, one thing

but I guess they
would have been fine

if I was a Hindu, or
Buddhist, or something.

- Yeah.

- Yeah, we are pretty weird.

- Yeah, my dad's a lawyer.

Felt like I was
being cross-examined.

He started pulling all
that anti LDS stuff out.

Skeletons in the closet.

- Like what?

- Oh, you name it.

Polygamy, dead people
getting baptized,

blacks in the priesthood.

Some stuff about Joseph
Smith, gay marriage.

One of his favorites.

Got it all.

- How did you deal
with all that?

- Honestly, it was difficult.

The first I didn't believe it

but then the missionaries

told me that most
of it was true.

- And that didn't
scare you away?

- It did at first,

but I mean the missionaries
were great, patient.

They answered all my questions
and even called my dad.

- Really?

- How'd that go?

- Not great.

I mean, it was okay.

Look, there's lots of
weird stuff in the past,

even stuff I don't understand
now, but I'm here ain't I?

- Yeah.

- That's beautiful.

It's really great.

- Okay, I had a few boyfriends.

- A few?

- How many is that?

- A lady never tells.

There might've been a
Red Sox in there though.

- Bet you were a
little heartbreaker.

- Speaking of heartbreaker.

Riley, you dumped that
fiance of yours or what?

- Awkward.

- Oh, I told you I
don't like to look back.

- Sometimes we do stuff
we don't like, did you?

- I did.

- Why?

- He had issues.

- Like?

- Okay it's one thing

if we're talking
about us, ourselves,

when we start talking about
someone who's not here.

- What issues?

- Addiction issues.

- Like Cole?

- No.

- Dude.

- Addicted to what?

- I'm guessing pornography.

- Was that it, was
he addicted to porn?

- Sort of.

- Sort of
addicted to porn?

- Okay, fine, he was,
he was addicted to porn.

- Addicted's a strong word.

- Okay, fine.

Then let's just say he
was very preoccupied.

Consumed, couldn't
get enough of it.

Is that better?

- What kinds?

I mean, I mean,
there's all kinds.

Like some guys think a girl
in a bikini is pornographic

and then it kind
of goes from there.

Like all kinds.

- I don't know Mollie.

It's not like I
watched it with him.

- Did he want you to?

- Were you mad at him?

- I was furious.

Yeah, lost control.

I punched him, screamed a lot.

I said things to
him I'd never said

to anyone before
and then I cried

and he held me and
he said he was sorry.

He said he wouldn't
do it anymore, so.

- So who's hungry.

- I mean, I can always eat.

So that sounds great to me.

- Yeah, let's go.

- Opened a can of
worms on that one.

- That was awkward.

- Anyone else want
chips and salsa?

- Yes, me.

I would like some chips
and salsa, please.

- Everyone wants
a sandwich, right?

- Yeah.

- Yes.

- Can you do a double
peanut butter on mine?

- And light on the jelly for me.

- Mollie.

- Yeah.

- Going from Irish
Catholic to LDS.

That's quite the journey.

- Was it tough?

- What you think I didn't
have to clean up some?

Change a few habits.

- You ever get lonely,
miss your family?

Or your friends?

- Yeah, I miss my friends.

Some of them.

Beer at Fenway,
coffee at Starbucks.

Some other things.

When I first got to Utah

I think I cried myself to
sleep for about a week.

Had some serious doubts.

- About?

- Everything.

- Did your parents
get remarried?

- My dad did and then
he moved to California.

- Do you see him very much?

- Not really.

- Get along with
your stepmother?

- Are you kidding?

She's practically my age and
looks like a Barbie doll.

- What do you call her?

- Barbie.

- Do you get along
okay with your mom?

- Can't say that I do.

- So you're pretty much alone.

- Yeah.

But hey, I got you
guys now, right?

- That's for sure.

- Of course.

- Yeah, you do now.

- So my dad decided it was time

for me to pay my
own way in life.

I couldn't afford BC tuition.

So thought I'd come to Utah.

Really dig in deep
with the Mormons.

- BYU?

- Are you kidding?

I didn't want to
dig in that deep.

Let's do some food.

- Yes.

- Almost forgot.

The cookies.

- Yes.

- Dessert.

- Richard, you ever
had a girlfriend?

- You mean one of
my significance?

- Yeah.

- Did you connect with her?

- Not in the way
you're thinking.

- Could you ever see
yourself getting married?

- I don't know.

I guess the real question

is could I see
someone marrying me?

- Why, you're amazing.

- Whatever.

- Do you ever think
about being with a guy?

- Sometimes.

Do you mean, have I
ever been with a guy?

No, no I haven't.

- But do
you think about it?

- I mean I think everyone wants

some kind of
connection, intimacy.

Oh God, look, I like being
a member of the church.

I love going to the temple.

I love the gospel.

I just don't know
how to do the gospel.

All of it.

Yeah.

But I'm working on it.

- Aren't we all?

- Yeah.

I want what you guys want.

Family, someone I can
count on and trust,

who I share my life with.

It's a pretty clear path for
you guys, not so much for me.

- I feel
that way sometimes.

- But you don't really have

to change anything
about yourself.

- We're all working on changing.

- It's different.

Like, I either have to
change something about myself

and don't even know what it is

or I have to come to grips
with who and what I am.

Somehow make the best of that.

- So are you
starting to trust us?

- Yeah, I guess so.

- Why?

- I don't know.

- Spielberg, point
that camera at somebody else.

- Oh dear.

- Hey Cole.

- Yeah?

- What happened with the drugs?

- Yeah, how'd you
get hooked on them?

- The infection pain
got me hooked on them

and then I took it from there.

Anyone here ever
had major surgery?

- I had my tonsils
out when I was five.

- Shut up Spielberg.

- It hurt.

- Yeah well, I thought
sports were tough,

but nothing compared
to a metal rod

and screws put in your leg.

- You still on painkillers?

- No.

- What kind of
stuff did you take?

- You name it.

Percocet, Oxycontin,
Ativan, Vicodin.

- Yikes.

- Yeah.

The pills took away the pain,

and when pain went away,
I kept taking the pills.

- Why?

- Have you ever taken
pills Spielberg?

- Not like those.

- Well, if you ever do

you'll know the answer
to that question.

- How much were you taking?

- I got up to about a
thousand milligrams a day.

Sometimes more.

- That
sounds like a lot.

- It is.

- It's a lot.

- How'd you pay for it?

- Doctors, they just kept
prescribing this stuff to me.

And then, I mean, there were,

there were other times when I
had to get it in other ways.

- Did you ever
get into the heavier stuff?

- No, not really.

I finally told my parents
and I think they already knew

but yeah, that was
the turning point.

- What'd they do,
were they upset?

- No, no, they just
hugged me, cried a lot.

- They were the ones who got me

into a rehab place
in New Mexico.

- Good parents.

- The best.

- How long
were you there?

- Six months.

Yeah and then I stayed on
to help around the place.

Ended up working with
a few of the other guys

cleaning horse stalls,
working in the kitchen.

Did a lot of stargazing.

Yeah, I did that
for about a year.

- That's cool.

- That's quite a change.

Mission field to rehab.

- How long have you been sober?

- A little over two years now.

- Hey.

- Wow.

- That's major.

- Way to go man.

- Props.

- Do you still think about--

- Every day.

- What do you do?

- Think about something else.

- Do you ever sing
a primary song in your head?

- Yeah, I do.

My favorite is Popcorn
Popping On The Apricot Tree.

- A classic.

♪ I looked out the window
and what did I see ♪

♪ Popcorn popping on
the apricot tree ♪

- What was the hardest part?

- Not finishing my mission.

I really loved South Africa.

The work, the people.

- The choices we make.

- Yeah, choices.

I still need Brown pieces.

- Not having much luck.

- Like the dark root.

- What shade?

There's varying shades.

- So really Mollie, why'd
you join the church?

I mean it seems so
great in Boston.

You had a good life.

- Well you know I love it.

I mean, you guys all
grew up in the church.

It's like this really
cool amusement park,

like Disney World times 10.

But I don't think
you guys see it.

I mean, I don't even
think you all go

on all the rides, but me?

I was on the outside
and I said, I want in.

So I got my ticket

and I started going
on all the rides.

And yeah, I don't know.

Maybe I'll go on a mission

and tell everybody I meet about

this really cool amusement park.

- Go for it Mollie,
you'd be great.

- Mollie, that's amazing.

- That'd be awesome.

- Will you guys support me?

- Of course.

- We'll send you a group
email every Monday.

- With super cute pictures
of us having fun together.

- You guys.

- All right Spielberg.

Craziest thing you've ever done.

- Oh wow.

- Yeah.

- It is your turn.

- I don't know.

- Come on, you had to
have done something.

- Come on dude.

- Okay.

- Oh here it is.

- Just come on, dude.

- I'm so excited.

- Oh gosh, okay.

It was in high school and I.

- Come on, man.

- It was after a high
school football game

and I mooned a
car full of girls.

Yup, showed them my butt.

- That's you're craziest thing?

- Nice Spielberg.

- Yeah.

- Okay.

- What do you see through that
camera of yours Spielberg?

- I see some people
who have a bunch

of stuff going on
in their lives.

- Yeah, but what's
going on in yours?

- Compared to you guys, nothing.

- Are you envious?

- No, I.

Confused.

- About what?

- I mean, we all have
the gospel right?

And yet we still
make stupid choices,

and we do stupid things.

- Yeah, so what's
your stupid stuff?

- Aside from the mooning.

- That's just it, I
don't have anything.

I've always been a good kid,

my dads a bishop, my mom
stays home with the kids,

I guess you guys just look

at the gospel
differently than I do.

- How so?

- I like following
the rules you know,

I wanna go on a mission and
get married in the temple.

Have kids, raise them right.

- And we don't want that?

- You saying I
wasn't raised right?

- No man, I just, well
I have a hard time,

I mean I really like
you guys but man,

some of the stuff
you've been through, I--

- Your time will come man.

It always does.

- I guess.

- Maybe not, maybe
the destroying angel
will pass by him.

- I don't think so, no
you still have college,

mission, marriage, kids, career,

plenty of time to
screw it up Spielberg.

- Thanks Cole.

- Riley, how'd you find out?

About the porn.

- We were doing homework,
genealogy of all things.

And as we sat there at
the dinning room table

of my parents home, no
less on a Sunday night,

our laptops right
next to each other,

a website just popped
up on the computer.

He quickly closed
it, he knew I saw it

and he didn't want
to talk about it.

My dad talked to us.

- Awkward.

- Well maybe it
wasn't a mistake,

maybe that was his way of
telling you he had a problem.

- I don't know, I was confused.

I couldn't figure out
how he found that,

I don't know, appealing.

- He didn't say anything even
after he knew you'd seen it?

- No, he pretty much shut down.

I did too.

I didn't know what to say.

I don't think guys understand
what that does to a girl.

- Amen.

- You didn't see it coming?

- You didn't want to
try and make it work?

- Yeah, we did, we did.

I mean, we talked to his Bishop,

a counselor and we
kept dating for awhile.

I don't know guys.

I don't know how to put it.

I felt rejected.

You know, like he'd
been cheating on me.

- I totally get that.

- And I thought,
am I not enough?

You know, it really hit me hard.

Like how could he
choose pictures

and videos of women he
didn't even know over me?

You know, I was right
there, I loved him.

I was willing to give him
all of me, everything.

Things I'd never given
to anyone, never would.

You know, like, why
wasn't I enough?

What was I missing?

- I don't see anything missing.

- Thanks.

And I just kept wondering what

he was thinking
when he kissed me,

when he held me, when
he told me he loved me.

He just brushed it off.

Said a lot of guys were into it.

- I mean, not just guys,
there were some girls at BC.

- He couldn't stop?

- Wouldn't.

Well, he tried, well,
at least he said he did.

- And you didn't want
to give him a chance?

- I gave him six
months of chances.

It was sort of a crisis for me.

Doubting myself, I'd
never done that before.

I thought about
how I could change,

compete with the computer.

- What did you do?

- Oh gosh, it's so stupid.

I sent him some snaps.

You know, one of those
things that you do

and you feel like a
complete idiot afterwards.

- What kind of snaps?

- Snaps.

- So he gave you up for porn.

- Oh God, he gave up a
lot more than just me.

You know, I was ready.

You know what every
little girl dreams about?

Get married in the temple,
have a family, kids.

Him serving in the Bishop rig,

me teaching the young women.

Featured story in LDS living,
happily forever after.

I was ready.

- The course of true love,
never did run smooth.

- Can always count
on your Mollie.

- It's in my nature.

- You know, besides that
somehow he'd changed.

You know, he didn't
want to talk about it,

and that drove me crazy,

I can't be with
someone who won't talk.

And I said, I'll go to mission.

You know, I need some space
and he said, go ahead.

And after I got back from
my mission, he moved on.

Found a girl he was
crazy about and she him,

they got married in the
temple about a year ago.

- How'd
that make you feel?

- Good, good.

Yeah, he was the love
of my youth, you know

but after my mission, I--

- Were you mad at him?

- No, no not at all.

I grew up a lot in Brazil

and looking back,

I didn't handle the whole
situation very well.

I was only 19

and my mission, I don't know,

I saw a lot of people go through

a lot of crap in their lives.

And I saw the hand of God
work a lot of miracles.

- Did he work a miracle
with the love of your youth?

- I don't know.

I hope so.

- Well, I think you're beautiful
inside and out for sure.

- Okay, so what happened
to this gorgeous ring?

- I gave it back.

- I'd have kept it.

What?

That's like a whole
semester of tuition.

- Oh shoot.

- Yeah.

- Yeah, I went to Colorado
to have my baby, my son.

- Did you go to school there?

- Yeah.

- That must've been weird,
being pregnant in school.

- It was.

I didn't talk to anybody.

Nobody talked to me.

I was fine with that.

I didn't make any friends,
I didn't really want to.

- You were staying with
your grandparents, right?

- Uh huh, my grandparents
were very cool.

Very loving.

By the time I was
ready to have my baby

my dad had arranged with a
dentist back home to adopt him.

- But I thought your
mom was raising him?

- Yeah, no, sorry.

Me and her wanted to,
but my dad said no.

- I don't know if
I could do that.

Just give up my baby.

- I hope you never have
to make that choice.

After I had my son

I was still laying there and
they were cleaning me up.

It was pretty messy.

And my baby was
lying on my tummy.

He was covered in
blood, my blood

and I looked at him and
his eyes were closed.

He never even saw me

and then they cut the cord.

- What happened then?

- The nurse took him.

It's weird, for most mothers

that moment is the beginning
of a life, of a relationship

that's supposed to last forever.

And for me, that was the end.

- So sorry.

- You know when you're
15 and having a baby,

the hospital treats you

like you are this
slutty little teenager.

They have no idea
how scared you are.

The lights, the pain,
everybody looking at you

and poking your body.

There was one nurse
who was really nice,

but you know, maybe it wasn't

the hospital that
made me feel slutty.

Anyway, your body
keeps reminding you
that you had a baby

even though there is no baby.

Your hormones are going
crazy, your boobs get huge.

Hard to imagine, I
know, but they do,

they get huge and
it's super painful

until even they realized
that there's no baby.

- Looking back are you
angry about the adoption?

- My dad's a good guy.

He is and I love him.

But I think that when I
told him I was pregnant

it was really hard for
him to deal with that.

Do I sometimes wonder
what it would have been

like to raise him with my mom?

Yeah.

- And he's with the dentist now?

- Yeah.

- Do you ever see him?

- Not really.

Kinda, I mean the mother,
the dentist's wife,

she takes him out, you know,

to the grocery store,
doing the mom kid thing.

A burger joint.

Like I said, it's a small town.

- Seeing your own
kid with another mom.

- Yeah.

And then there's the
dad, the dentist.

He's got these
billboards all over town.

With these big pictures of him

and the whole family,
all five of them.

They've adopted a
couple other kids.

It's like, who goes to a dentist

just because you've
got kids, you know,

it makes no sense.

Anyway so, I see him, I see him,

but he doesn't see me.

He doesn't even
know that I exist.

I'm not allowed to contact him.

- Does anybody back home
know you had a baby?

Your friends, anybody.

- Just you guys.

- And your family?

- Just my parents.

They didn't want my brother
and sisters to know.

But I'm going to
tell them someday.

I have a picture of him.

It's about a year old.

I got it from the
dentist website.

- How old is he now?

- He's four.

- Do you know his name?

- Adam, heard his
mom called him that once.

- Did you give him a name?

- No.

No, I didn't want to do that.

- Do you ever hope
that when you're

out shopping or something
that you'll ran into him?

- Yeah.

- Do you ever wish the
whole thing never happened?

- It's hard knowing that there's

a part of me out there
that I can't be with.

Communicate with.

- Spree, you are
Adam's mother, you are.

And at some point maybe,
maybe not in this life,

but at some point, I believe
you will be a mother to him.

Maybe not the mother.

- He already has
that in someone else.

- Right, but a mother.

- I hope you're right.

So Richard, since
you wanted an answer

to your question,
me, I'm not a virgin.

- Growing up, all I wanted
to do was serve a mission.

One of the best days of my
life was when I got my call.

- So what about the
whole intimacy thing?

- I've heard people
say, you know,

when this topic comes
up in Sunday school

or priesthood meeting,
something like that.

I've heard people
say, well you know,

people with same sex attraction,

if that's what you call it,

they just have to play by the
same rules as everyone else

and everything will be cool.

- Yeah, I've heard that before.

- But that's not true

because they see it in very
simple black and white terms.

You just have to,
you just, well,

they think that
it's all about sex.

You just can't have sex.

And I mean, yeah,
that's part of it,

but that's not the
real issue here

when you think about it.

At least not for me,

because what they
say to you guys is

right, hey, just kind
of behave yourself

until you get married and
then boom, no holds bar,

the rules don't apply anymore.

For me they're really saying

that I'll never have
any intimacy at all.

You know, no one to go home to,

no one to, just no one.

And then there's the
M word, marriage.

That word frightens me.

- I feel the same way.

- And it's something
I want in some way

but it's something I'll
probably never have.

And you guys, I mean,
understandably, I get it.

You look forward to that.

You can see it in
your near future.

- Hopefully not the near future.

- But you can see
getting married

and having kids,
raising a family,

you know doing everything
you're supposed to.

And from where I am right
now, I can't really see that.

- What do you see?

- I see people
telling me, Richard,

you're fine the way you are.

And you know, you
have these feelings

and you just have
to control that.

And if you do that and you'll
be fine, it's not a problem.

- It is a problem.

- Yeah, it is.

You guys.

I mean, you go on a
date and you hold hands.

You make out a little
at the end of the night,

you know, it's no big deal.

Everything's cool.

You say good night,
maybe another kiss.

You had a great time.

There's some energy
going through your body.

When you hold hands

or when you kiss your
boyfriend or girlfriend,

the electricity fireworks,
I've never had that.

- Do you want to?

- I don't know.

Sometimes I just don't
feel very normal.

- Who wants to be normal?

- I do, sometimes.

But then on the other
hand, I think, you know

so what's so abnormal about me?

Did I do something
wrong or am I a mistake?

Is this something God
gave to me on purpose

or it's just something
I have to deal with?

Yeah, did my DNA
get all screwed up?

I've heard that one.

You know, am I really
supposed to say

for the rest of my life

I'm not going to have
any real companionship

except for friends and social
acquaintances and activities.

- Yeah, that sucks.

- Yeah it does.

Oh, big time.

And then at church,
all these girls,

women come up to me, they tell
me all about their love life.

How excited they
are to get married.

And then they show up
with their husbands.

And I'm just, just me
sitting there by myself.

And I mean, I don't know if
it would ever come to this

but let's say I was, I
don't know what you call it,

but in a relationship with,

sounds so weird to
say this, with a guy.

I mean, we couldn't
go to church.

There's no way

- I'll go to church
with you, Richard.

- Thanks Mollie.

- That doesn't
really help, does it?

- But then there's family.

I'll probably never be a dad.

Never see my child born, never
play catch in the backyard

or things like that or teach
them about God, Christ,

and the gospel, these
things that I love.

- Wow.

- I can't see clearly
past this life.

Cause I get it, I
do, I really get it.

That in God's mind,
and his world,

and his universe, the next
life is a man and a woman.

I believe that.

But how do I do that?

- What about your parents?

Have you tried--

- No, I haven't said
anything to them.

- Do they have any idea?

- Probably, I just
never talk about it.

I mean, they love me but.

- Do you think that
would change if you?

- I don't know.

- I don't think it would.

- Any
brothers or sisters?

- Four yeah, I'm the oldest.

Their hero, knight
in shining armor.

They all look up to me.

- Doubt thou the stars are fire,

doubt that the sun does move,

doubt truth to be a liar,
but never doubt I love thee.

Hamlet, act two, scene two.

- Thanks guys.

But not much can be said.

It's just, it's
something the church

doesn't really have an
answer for right now.

I'm just stuck in the middle
of this forbidden ground.

But I really appreciate you
guys talking to me about it.

- You're the best.

- We love you.

- Yeah, we're here anytime.

- That's what I'm saying.

- Oh ladies, there you are.

- So Spielberg.

- Yeah.

- You've seen a lot through
that camera this weekend.

- Yeah, you know it's
kind of weird knowing

all this stuff about you guys.

I mean I only met you yesterday.

I didn't even know you.

And then you started talking
about all these things

and well, I thought
you were sort of weird.

Strange.

- That's not better.

- We think you're the
weird one Spielberg.

- Yeah.

- I'm beginning to
think you're right.

- You're awesome.

- I know I say dumb stuff and
sometimes I just don't get it

and Mollie, the Shakespeare
guy is way over my head

but I love you guys.

- Hey, you're okay.

- Come here.

- So where do we go from here?

- I think it all just comes
down to what we believe.

- Yeah, what do we believe?

- All right, yeah.

Yeah, let's go with that.

What are our core beliefs?

I mean, who are we really?

- Yeah or how do we
know God loves us?

Or how do I know God loves me?

- He loves us.

- Right, yeah, I
guess I know that

on one level, intellectually.

And that's a great
for the big picture.

- But how about
the little picture.

- Right.

How do I know God has
a place for me, a plan?

Or does he have a plan for me?

- I think he does.

- Absolutely.

- Okay then is my plan
different from your plan?

You know, is God's
plan of happiness

an individual plan
for each person,

or this one big happy
plan that we all buy into?

One size fits all.

- Heavenly father has
a plan for you Richard.

- I think it comes down
to do we believe Christ?

I mean, do we
really believe him?

- I believe in him.

- No, that's not what I mean.

I mean, do we believe him,
that he is who he says he is?

Can do what he says he can do.

- I believe, I mean, we
gotta, we have to figure out.

The atonement, right?

That's the core, that one event.

And I don't know what
other words to use for it,

event or happening,
but that one event,

if some how, I don't know how,

I don't think anyone does,

but if we let him,
if we believe him,

he can fix all of this.

- So you're saying
I need to be fixed?

- No, Richard, you
don't need to be fixed.

What I mean is whatever issues

we're going through,
that he can.

- Give us peace.

- He is the Prince of Peace.

- Wasn't really honest
with you guys earlier.

My not finishing my mission
being the hardest part.

When I got into my
accident, got banged up,

and hooked on painkillers
is pretty horrible,

but Spielberg, he asked me
why I kept taking the pills.

- Yeah, I remember.

- I didn't really answer
that very honestly.

I didn't really answer
it at all, actually.

So the pills took away the pain

or at least made me forget it.

The accident happened
because I looked away

and I looked away
because my companion,

my companion was this kid
from a little town in Idaho.

Eden, Idaho sounds
perfect, doesn't it?

- Yeah.

- He was so excited
to be a missionary.

Here's this kid,
this 18 year old kid.

He's funny and smart, he had
a cute girlfriend back home.

Great family.

And then we were, just
driving down the road.

He told me a joke.

Like I said, he was,
he was a funny kid.

I laugh and I look over
to him, he's laughing.

And that's the last
sound he ever made.

I didn't see the red light.

I've never been able to
forgive myself for that.

- Accidents happen.

- I'm well aware of that Mollie.

- It really wasn't
your fault Cole.

- Actually, it was.

When I was in the
hospital in Salt Lake

I couldn't go to his funeral.

Two days after the
funeral his parents,

brother and sister
Green came to visit me.

- And what'd they say?

- They forgave me.

They sat on my hospital
bed and totally forgave me.

They said it was an accident

and we know that Terry
is in a good place.

And that he's okay and that
he would want you to be okay.

He loved you very much.

- How long ago was that?

- Four years.

Anyway, that's what I
didn't tell you guys before.

- Cole, I'm so sorry
for what I said.

- It's okay Mollie, it's okay.

I guess if I really believe,

I should let Christ
take care of that.

- Look for Christ

and you will find him and
with him, everything else.

- C.S. Lewis.

- Is that my phone?

- Hey guys, I have
the best idea ever.

Okay, next weekend.

- Look at those notifications.

- Next weekend we
get back together

and we go on a ski retreat.

- Guys, guys, guys hey um.

Look, I need to
tell you something.

Does it seem kind of
strange to you guys

that we are shooting this video?

- I mean yeah, it's
always been weird.

- I don't know.

- Yeah, I guess
it does in a way.

- Why are we making this video?

- You guys think
it's about Fielding?

About his book, right?

- It is.

- Yes.

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

- It's not.

- What?

- What do you mean?

- I want to get in the
film program at USC.

- What, what does that
have to do with anything?

- Well, see.

- Where are you going with this?

- Let me explain, look.

USC, they need a
sample of my work,

you know, like reel and,
well, I don't have one.

So--

- So?

- I thought I'd maybe
do one about you guys.

And I had no idea it
would turn out like this.

I mean, I didn't have a clue.

- As usual.

- I mean, I thought that
you got to talk about like,

I don't know, different
kinds of stuff,

not the kinds of stuff
that you guys talked about.

- So wait, you and
Oscar Fielding what?

You set this up?

- Yeah, sort of.

Actually, no, okay,
no, not exactly.

- Who sent the email?

- Yeah.

- I did.

- What?

Are you serious?

- No way.

- No.

- Yeah, I sent the email,
I set this whole thing up.

- So do you even
know Oscar Fielding?

- Oh yeah, I
definitely know him.

He's my uncle.

- And he agreed to all this?

- No, no, he didn't.

He doesn't know
about any of this.

- This whole thing
was your idea.

- How many emails did you send?

- About 5,000.

- Where'd you get them?

- You don't wanna know.

- We don't wanna know?

- Okay.

- And you picked us?

- Yeah.

- Why?

Wow.

- I can't believe
we fell for this.

- So the camera's yours?

- How'd you get this cabin?

- It's my uncle Oscars,

but I know the
combination to the door.

- Does he even know we're here?

- No way, that's crazy.

- Guys, look around.

We've all done crazy,
stupid things in life.

- But him who's without sin.

- Cast the first stone.

- Any stone throwers?

- Hey, look at it this way,

it has been pretty amazing.

- Yeah, and if it
weren't for Spielberg

we never would have
met each other.

- Thanks guys.

- Well, hold on, like you're,

you're going to take this video

you've been making about us,

about me and use
it to get into USC?

- Oh come on, I
thought if you knew

what was going on
you wouldn't do it.

You wouldn't help me.

- Whoa, you didn't trust us?

- Not at first.

Look, would it be
cool if I edited it

and like showed it to you guys

and I can take out
whatever you don't like.

Hey, I'm good with whatever.

- All of those who can sustain
brother Spielberg's proposal,

do so with the uplifted hand.

- You guys are the best.

- Can we wait till
I tell my parents?

Fine man, this is ridiculous.

- You're nuts.

- I can't believe you
thought of that idea.

- Classic, classic, Spielberg.

- You're an evil genius.

- I cannot believe we
were fooled by a child.

- That's what I'm saying.

- I'm gonna hold you because.

- Oh yeah, watch out.

- I'm super klutzy.

- The snow is so tall.

- Yeah, I was just gonna say.

It's over you're head.

I can't believe that
you live right by me.

- Oh I know, all this time.

- Yeah, it's like we're
meant to be friends.

- Well, Mollie, you have
one final quote for us?

- God's goodness hath
been great to us,

let never day nor
night on hallowed paths

but still remember what
the Lord hath done.

- Proverbs?

- Henry the sixth, part
two, act two, scene one.

- Well guys, I
guess that's a wrap.

- Hey, before we split, we
should get a group picture.

- Yes.

- Oh yeah.

- Please.

- Okay I got it.

- Selfie.

- All together.

- Get in there.

- Okay, everyone in?

- You got to get me
in I'm not in it.

- Here we go.

Okay, ready and one, two, three.

Funny face.

- All right.

- That is great.

- Hey, I'll email to you guys.

- You are not allowed
to email me ever again.

- I'll see you, we're fine.

- Yes.

- Come here nugget.

You're nuts, I
can't believe you.

Come here you beautiful boy.

Be good.

- See ya Riley.

- Bye, see ya.

- Keep in touch?

- Yeah.

- Hey you
guys drive safe.

- Yeah, you to.

- Take care of yourself man.

- Yeah, you to.

- See you Spielberg.

- Peace out guys.

- So, is you're
friend picking you up?

- Yeah, yeah he is.

But I told him not to come.

- Whoa, so you're walking home?

♪ There ain't nothing
like sunshine and air ♪

♪ To make you feel like
you don't have a care ♪

♪ There ain't no one
else around but you ♪

♪ So here's exactly
what you're gonna do ♪

♪ Take your hands and dig ♪

♪ Deep into your soul ♪

♪ Let yourself lose control ♪

♪ Turn it up, soak it up ♪

♪ Can you feel it all over ♪

♪ No, you'll never know
when you'll get the chance ♪

♪ So put on your
favorite song and dance ♪

♪ It's a good day
to have a good day ♪

♪ So tighten up your
laces and be on your way ♪

♪ It's a good time
to have a good time ♪

♪ So feel the beat down
in your bones and smile ♪

♪ Oh take your hands and dig ♪

♪ Deep into your soul ♪

♪ Let yourself lose
control, turn it up ♪

♪ Too many days
in the darkness ♪

♪ With out a glimpse
of the light ♪

♪ Running tired, and
broken, and scared ♪

♪ But I swear I'll never
give up the fight ♪

♪ I see you broken and beaten ♪

♪ Hackles down over your eyes ♪

♪ Every part of you
wants to surrender ♪

♪ Darling you were
meant to survive ♪

♪ With every scar,
we are born again ♪

♪ Open your heart ♪

♪ Spend less time in your head ♪

♪ With every scar,
we are born again ♪

♪ Open your heart ♪

♪ Spend less time in your head ♪

♪ Just like a seed in a garden ♪

♪ You will grow to be tall ♪

♪ Staring out over
miles of land ♪

♪ Without ever wanting
build up walls ♪

♪ Lift me up in your branches ♪

♪ We can watch the sun rise ♪

♪ Just a couple of
bruised up fools ♪

♪ That believe that it
was worth one more try ♪

♪ With every scar,
we are born again ♪

♪ Open your heart and spend
less time in your head ♪

♪ With every scar,
we are born again ♪

♪ Open your heart ♪

♪ Spend less time in your head ♪