Ediths Glocken - Der Film (2016) - full transcript

When Edith's Bells Toll

December 22nd

Finally, uncomfortable shoes!

These go back here. Great.

This will be delicious!

Now that's what I call pressure!

All set for New Year's Eve...

Oh, shit!

Damn, she saw me.

What? Come in, Jutta!

Man, the door is open,
come on in!


I wanted you to hold the door
for me and take my bags!


Are you on the run, Jutta?

Almost. I was in the East
for the first time since '89!

- What?
- Yeah! I had to go!

The department store
at Alexanderplatz went bankrupt.

The Christmas decorations are 50% off!

You had to be there,
such a big Christmas fan!

Exactly. I showed those folks
there what an East Berliner Is.

Now they know what
elbowing really means!

They were flying right and left!

Severely injured,
then back to work!

I got me the best stuff,
but I won't make it to the pub.

Can I leave it here for a bit?

Put it next to my bags, here.

No wonder they were
scared of you, Jutta.

You look like a bear
from a Czech fairy tale.

Let me take that.

Oh, dear...

I'm hanging it here, okay?

Yeah, don't put
a price tag on it again!

For me Russia starts
behind Friedrichstrasse.

True that.

Do you have any Prosecco?

Of course Jutta,
it's after 11pm!

Oh, the old briefs!

They've been hanging
here since August!

Don't remind me.

I ordered twelve online.
They are total non-sellers.

You'll get ride of them
with the Christmas sales.

From your lips to God's ears!
So, breakfast time!

- Cheers!
- Cheers!


Hi Adriano!


Jutta, my sweetie, hello!

I am so exhausted.
I'm on the brink.

What is up with you?
You're out of breath!

I urgently need a gift for
my husband, Enrico Norman!

Excuse me?

Two days before Christmas
Eve you go shopping?

It totally slipped my mind!

But now I know what to get him.
He is a Jungle Camp fan, right?

I forbade him to watch it
for a while. It made me paranoid!

But on the 24th we have
a serious date, you know?

You won't be just
stuffing the goose, right?

I've bought four square
meters pool liner.

Pool liner?

Oh, you're too young for this.

Anyway, I'm getting him your leopard
briefs cause they fit our theme!

This cannot be!
We were just talking about them!

They are brand new,
Brigitte just put them up there.

- Do you have an unopened one?
- No worries. Just a sec.

What size is he? Medium?
He has very narrow hips.

Yes, but give me an XXL,
he is very well endowed.

The pain sometimes...

Voila! Here it is.

You know what? You must feel
the texture, it's something else.

- Brigitte...
- Well?

- I love animal print.
- Me too!


It has that new car smell.

The fabric is from China.
It's banned in Germany.

- Does it cost extra?
- Oh, don't think about it.

Oh my goodness, I can see it...

Enrico Norman,
laying on the pool liner...

Wearing his new briefs...

Legs in the air, America!

- He always screams...
- That's too much information.

Oh please, it's all natural.

But if you get him something so nice,
you need something for yourself!

You need to keep up, dear!

You're right. I need an upgrade!

Absolutely. No worries,
I have the right thing for you.

- What, you?
- Yes!

When I got here I meant to call you.
Here it is!

- Voila!
- Oh God!

What do you think?
It's very Christmassy with the gold.

And very erotic with the black...

It looks like it would fit you!

My God, Jutta, maybe on one leg.

I won't be doing a trapeze
act on X-mas Eve.

Is it stretchy?

Excuse me dear,
but with me everything is stretchy.

Just try it on.

What? No...

You need to see it on you.
Go change!

Brigitte, no!

If I can't take it off,
you're calling the fire brigade.

He's got all three:
gay, from the East and no taste!

But I got rid of the briefs!

But now, finally Jutta...

Cheers! I just opened it.
"Neukolln Leggings Dream."

Oh, look!

Here is another homeless
guy dressed as Santa Claus.

Don't worry, I'll throw him out.

Get out of my shop,
no Santas are allowed here.

Mrs Wuttke,
did you behave this year?

You too, Mrs Hartmann,
did you behave,

or should I take my prick out?

Tell me, how do you
know our names?

Because it's me!


Why are you dressed as Santa?

I've been working in Karstatd
at Hermannplatz as Santa!

Oh, right.
Hard to keep up with her.

Now close the door! Can't you hear
the ringing? We're not on the street!

At least she finally
has a job after thirteen years!


Stop it Jutta!
They threw me out!

15 minutes ago!

I'm so pissed off.
I need to get out of this costume.

Why did they throw you out?
Tell us!

Edith, you're such a misfit.

Yeah! How did you do this again?

This job was made for you.

Yeah. Earning money
just by sitting around.

Sitting around, my ass!

Phew, just give it a rest, okay?

It would have been a twelve-hour
shift, without any break!

- I need my cigarette break.
- Cigarette?

If I don't smoke I get aggressive.

So I thought:
"Why not smoke as Sandy Claus?"

The kids were sitting on my lap,
getting smoke in their eyes.

They were crying of course.

There was this fat little girl.

I'm tellin' ya, she was sitting on my leg,
I thought it was about to break!

My toes are bruised!

Oh my! She looks me
in the eye and I say:

"Hey fatty, what do you want
for Christmas? A pork roast?"

The whole store could hear
her screaming, I'm tellin' ya.

But those ugly Turkish
women were the worst.

Those temp-queens
with that make-up on!

I was on my X-Mas throne.

Two of them stand there,
one of them says:

What do you want,
you old X-mas bitch?

Their German is so bad!

- Hello Biggy!
- Enrico Norman!

Hello to you!
Well this is a surprise!

Girls, let me introduce Enrico
Norman, Kevin's new hubby.

This is our Edith.


And this is Joan Collins from Britz,
Jutta Hartmann!

He's the well-hung guy.

You don't look like one...

- Oh well...
- What?

What brings you here?

I'm so glad to meet you all.
I'm looking for a gift for my hubby.

I don't have one yet.
Maybe you can help me!

Maybe a mug with a sheep?

- Yes!
- No!

No, that's so ugly!

A breakfast board
with his name engraved?

Yes, great idea.

Or a porcelain chicken?

That's a nice one!

Yes, a ceramic Christmas chicken.

You need to get your
husband something personal!

The best gift is always underwear!

What about these wonderful briefs?

They're amazing!

Yes, that's true,
but I'm all out of these.

Why don't you go to
the shop across the street?

But you have a whole stock here!
I'm buying them!

Great, I'll gift wrap this.
I'm sure you need to go.

Hold on! If you get something
this nice tor your husband,

you need to keep up!
You need an upgrade!

- Maybe there is something there.
- No, no! Wait!

You'll make a mess.
I'll get something nice for you.

This one's great.

The colour is so you
and it's one size!

I'll wrap it up for ya,
but you must be going now.

Wait a minute, let me try it on first!

No, you can't go
in there at the moment.

- Why?
- It's a mess.

You can go to the kitchen.

It's so cold! Ouch!

Ha-ha, very funny Jutta.
What am I going to do with them here?

- This is so stressful!
- Christmas is always stressful!

That's true.
Speaking of Christmas!

Girls, I wanted to ask you.
What are your plans for Christmas Eve?

That's the worst day for me.

I have no family, no children.

I only have my pub.

I'm usually open on Christmas Eve.

Oh, the people that come!

Really wasted people,
the scum of the earth!

Alcoholics, homeless, drug addicts!

- Really?
- Yes! The dregs of society!

Jutta, I've been at your
pub every X-mas Eve.

Stop laughing!

They sit at the bar busting my chops.
I get even more irritated.

You know what?
This year I'm not opening.

- What?
- No!

- I'm better off overdosing on...
- Jutta!

...Bach flower rescue drops.

Edith dear, you're doing
something nice, right?

Of course!

I'm spending a cosy night in.

At 5pm there will be
a premium microwave dish.

Then I'm watching
a nice war film.

Excuse me? You're watching
war films on X-mas Eve?

That's what's on private TV!

You both are Christmas grouches!
Shame on you!

You should follow my lead.

I really honour this holiday.

Uh huh. How?

Usually I meet up with
Solarium-Uschi and Pet-Shop-Marita

and we go to a men's strip show.

Men's strip show.
That's very Christmassy.

There is always someone
dressed as Santa, right?

And on the 24th he takes
out his Christmas rod.

Oh stop it!

Oh, sorry!

What's the matter?

- Oh God, I totally forgot about you.
- What?

Edith, hi there!

What do you think?

You look... different.

I got a new hair colour,
you noticed!

No, no...

- I mean your clothing...
- What about it?

I don't know...
It makes your penis look flat.


It's not flat, it's gone back!

- Stop it!
- Indeed!

It's just as I imagined it!

So sexy!

- You think?
- Yeah!

I look a bit like
a shot-putter from Luckenwalde.

Such nonsense.
It's exactly the opposite. So manly!

I can't keep my hands off!

My husband has to like it.

Oh, your husband is in...

Hey! One more
word and you're out.

Don't say a word.
It must be a surprise.

Well, it will definitely be a surprise.

- So I should take it?
- Yes, of course!

Maybe with different shoes.

Really now, you can't
sell him this oven bag.

Don't you feel bad
about your customers?

Yes, but I mostly feel bad
for my bank account, dear.

That's true.

Back to Christmas Eve.
I have a reason for asking.

This year I can't spend it
with Uschi and Marita.

They are going on a cruise.

So I thought...

If none of us has plans,
let's celebrate together!

- Oh, no!
- No way!

- You're nuts!
- You have no limits!

We see each other every day.
Must we spend Christmas together as well?

No, no.
We get one day off each year.

What kind of logic is this?

We see each other every
day but not on X-mas?

Should I cry my eyes out
under the X-mas tree all alone?

Oh come on, girls. The only
problem is finding where to celebrate.

But I already have a solution!

We'll go to yours, Jutta!

Great idea!
Thanks Jutta for inviting us!

Not possible!
You'll make a mess!

Excuse me?

Then we'll go to yours, Brigitte.

No! My place is too small
for such a big party.

Oh! We'll do it at my place!

That's a nice idea!
My place is a mess anyway!


I'll cook for us!

- You?
- Of course!

You can't cook!

Why not? It says how
on the package.

What are you making?

The classic!
Roast goose with red cabbage!

But I need to find out

whether a whole goose
will fit in my microwave.

You know what?
I'll cut it in half,

stuff it in there - 60 minutes
at 1000W and it's done!

What about presents?

Yes! Great idea! You know what?

Let's exchange gifts!

That's a nice idea.

We'll only buy one present each!


We did it once. Do you
remember what you got me?

- What?
- The LIDL perfume.

What was wrong with that?

It made holes in my clothes.


Jutta, I had told you
not to spray it on your clothes.

Where else?

- On your neck!
- What would have happened then?

Your wrinkles would have disappeared.

Brigitte, it doesn't fit me!

There were mouse
traps in the kitchen!

I totally forgot to tell you!
Wait, wait!

I'll take it off. Stay calm.

One, two, three!

He doesn't need the briefs now.

Why do you have mousetraps?

I've had a rodent problem ever
since the Leibniz cookie shop opened.

It's always fun you girls.

Let's spend Christmas Eve together!

Finally Jutta!

It is a family holiday after all.
We are like family.

Jutta, you're so sweet!

Speaking of family.

Biggy, are you inviting
your little daughter?

I'm really sorry.

Yeah, right. Why did you
have to mention that?

I thought I'd ask after
such a long time.

- Really?
- Yes.

Edith, you know that I don't
get along well with my daughter.

How do you know?
You haven't seen her since she was born.

And if I'm doing the math right,
it's already been six years.

Yes, okay, it's true,
but you see...

My dear, you have to see
it like a job interview.

You know if it's right for you
within the first 30 seconds.

- How can one be so heartless?
- Terrible.

I'd be happy to have a daughter.


I can't sleep at night thinking what
will happen to my pub when I die?

They'll turn it into
a Waldorf kindergarten.

For God's sake!

But where is your
daughter anyway?

Listen, it's like this:

Little Ilonka is with her grandma.
My mom takes care of her and she is happy.

That's great! Then give your mother
a call and tell her to bring Solyanka!


We'll celebrate
together at Edith's!

- Your mother too!
- What?

No way!
She's not allowed in my house.

She is insane!

What is wrong with her?

She has Alzheimer's,
Parkinson's and Tourette's.

That's one of
the worst combinations.

It would be so nice to have
a child under the Christmas tree.

Jutta, please, a child
is not part of the decor.

Just calm down.

It's super ugly. Yuck!

Ugly? It's from the
Hella von Sinnen collection!

You used to have
such nice festive shirts!

Please, I have nothing else to
offer you, don't you wanna go?

Brigitte, I'll take it.
Will you wrap it up?


I can always wear it to
my gay pregnancy group.

Girls, I have everything,
I need to go back to the salon.

Come by!
I got you an appointment.


You can't go out like
this on Christmas Eve!

The cheap stuff you put on
your hair looks just awful!

No worries, I'll give you a nice red,
it'll look amazing.

- Ok, take care!
- You too!

Your bag!

- Here's a fifty!
- Fifty?

- Keep the change. Thanks!
- Thank you!

- Take care!
- Happy holiday!

- Thanks, same to you.
- Bye!

He didn't even notice
I'm wearing a hat!

Biggy, you got me
all tangled up!

That's a Spanish scarf!
I want to sell that!

So, my dear, here is your bag.

Those briefs will
be a great surprise!

Thanks, girls!

- Take care. Bye!
- Merry Christmas!


I'd love to look at their faces
as they unwrap the same briefs!

Those queens will pull
each other's eyes out!

Of course, those fairies
will have a real party.

Cat fight!

- Jutta, you're such a witch!
- But you're laughing!

I need to say goodbye now.
I'm so happy you were here.

- But you need to go now.
- Why?

Listen, Jutta.

I'm waiting for a client, you know,
earning a bit of Christmas money.

He's in international politics.

If he sees this here,
he won't even enter.

So, Edith dear...

Jutta, I have an idea!
You know what?

Let's go have some
mulled wine with a kick.

I have some money. I'm getting
welfare again, drinks are on me!

I won't sit and watch while
you drink my taxes away.

Ok, I'm going alone!
Two cups for me then!

Don't spend all your money.

Madame is expecting
an expensive gift from us!

Let's get it tomorrow!

- As soon as I get up! As 5pm!
- Perfect!

- Bye!
- Bye, dear!

I have no time for this,
I need to decorate my balcony.

I'm taking part in the competition
"The Prettiest X-mas Balcony in Neukolln."


- I want to win.
- What?

Two days at a 3-star
spa hotel in Bad Pyrmont!

You'll get a full
makeover there!


Wow, it's so cold.

I should prepare
my plants for winter.

Oh well, it's probably
too late tor that anyway.

Jutta! Hi!

Be quiet! Not everyone needs
to know we live in the same building.

I'm ashamed for your balcony.
Such an embarrassment.

Where is your X-mas decor?
At least the basics!

A 4-colour interval fairy light system
in the shape of a reindeer, where is that?

Who will see it anyway, Jutta?

I'd like to see something
nice when I take the bins out.

Wait, I'll make you
something festive. Look!

What is that in the middle
around your head?

It's my Virgin Mary window.

But it's not working
and it's your fault.

Yes! Ever since you started feeding
the pigeons with kebab they've gone crazy

and commit suicide on my balcony.

They pick on my ice sticks!

Jutta, what's that thing?

Aren't you afraid
the balcony might collapse?

Pretty, right? It was on the roof
of the store at Alexanderplatz.

It has 8000 Watt and
tonight I'm turning it on.

No! Give your stupid
balcony a rest this year.

Let me remind you the last plane
that wanted to land at Tempelhof

crashed on our street because the pilot
thought your balcony was the runway.

Nothing happened!

Apart from the small
explosion at the Thai place.

At least the cats could escape!

Now be quiet, lights on!

No! Wait! I need to put on
my protective glasses.

I don't want to go blind!

Let there be light!

God, my eyes!

Sometimes I dream about
my Christmas balcony.

Blinking reindeer,

shiny Christmas glitter balls,
that you can see from an airplane.

Do you know what I dream about?

Your electricity bill.

The 10.000 Euro you
had to pay extra last year

from all the blown fuses.

The entire street went dark.

In Poland an old atomic
power plant opened again

just so we could get some light.

You're just jealous of my style.

What's happening?

Be careful! Too much power!

Go inside! It will explode!

December 23rd

Biggy's boutique!
Hello, Biggy speaking!

Hi Biggy! Don't be shocked,
this is your mother.

Mom, I've told you a thousand times,
don't call me at work!

- I have a reason for calling.
- I'm listening.

- I can't take Ilonka on Christmas Eve.
- What?

You must take her. I'm going
on a trip with my tea friends.

Are you nuts?
Christmas Eve is tomorrow already!

Sorry for the short notice,

but I'm going with my
tea friends to Mallorca.

I'm sincerely sorry, but I can't.
I'm invited to Edith's tomorrow.

Then you can take the child with you!

What are you talking about?
She'll be bored with three old women.

And to be honest
I'm also a bit embarrassed.

You know Edith.
She drinks like a fish.

I don't want
the child to see that.

- Hello!
- You were supposed to come at 5!

I got up early today!

I'll browse a bit.

- Who are you talking to?
- Edith just walked in.

Say hi from me and that there
will be an extra person tomorrow...

Yes, okay.

...cook some extra food.
Something for kids, French fries.

French fries on Christmas Eve,
what are you on about?

- You'll take the child, that's it.
- Alright!

Give me a call.

Why? You know where Edith lives,
12 Nogat Street. Bring the child over.

And don't forget to call me!

Okay, if I really have to!

- Bye.
- Bye.

Who was that? A client?

I'd never talk to clients like that.
That was my mother.

- The 'insane' one, as you said.
- I stand by that.

Somehow you and Jutta
did some witchcraft.

- What?
- You get your wish!

Ilonka will be with us tomorrow.

My mother is leaving and
she's bringing the kid over.

Oh, Biggy, that's so nice!

She'll be just fine!

To be honest it's not that bad.
If you think about it...

Christmas, us three, the little
one playing under the tree...

She must be a big girl now!

You think?

At six they're this big.
Her tits must have grown!

I hope she doesn't eat all the food!

- Don't!
- What is it?

Don't touch that!

It's all infected with
measles, Ebola, bird flu!

What should I hold on to?

No worries, I have my own.

Here. One for you, one for me.

Did you cut up
your wallpaper roll?

Lift it up!

What are we getting Jutta?

Don't worry dear.
I know exactly what.

And what is that?

Just think.
What does she urgently need?

- No idea.
- She needs a man.

But she's getting a vibrator!

That's so disgusting!

Fucking Christmas!

We can't get her
a vibrator for Christmas!

Why not? It's nice and practical.
Everybody likes them.


- Edith!
- Now what?

Hold it up!

I can't hold my
arm up for so long!

Ok, let's switch to this.


Change to the U7 line
and to bus service.

Let people get out first,
you idiots!

It was so fucking
freezing in the tube!

Stop moaning!
What's wrong with you?

All those low-lives!
So disgusting!

What's wrong with you?
That's enough now.

Do you know why
I'm so aggressive?

It's those LED lights!

No one believes me but it's true!
They blink in a frequency

that makes me super aggressive.

Oh stop that nonsense.

Look dear, Karstatd
is so nicely decorated.

That's true. It's nice here.


Hey, Brigitte.

Where are we going
to find a vibrator here?

With the electrical appliances?

With washing
machines and mixers?

It's almost like a mixer!
Get it?

Oh look! Here are
the electrical appliances!

Why do they have
so many sex toys here?

They merged it with the top
floor for streamlining reasons.

Sex toys and appliances
are all together now.

Look! Over there!

Look! They have it in blue,
her favourite colour!

- Oh no!
- What?

Look at this thing!
It's way too big!

True. You're right -
with all your experience.

She'll be ripped apart
like wrapping paper.

We're laughing, but you know what
happens if we don't wear any earrings.

Look here!
This is more realistic, look.

Very slim and in silver, so chic!

Hello, ladies.

My name is Jeff.
How can I help you?

We're just looking around.

The daughter is getting
the mother a gift?

- Let me see this.
- No, wait...

What do we have here?
Oh, the Audessa 2000.

It plays a melody
when you climax.

At your age I'd propose
the model Mammoth!

No, no, we're interested...
in that appliance there.

A shaving machine.

For the older, hairier woman.

Does he know you?

With an oscillating head.
It reaches all areas. Dry and wet!

Do you have it in
a colour other than Braun?

Yes, we have it in Siemens too.

I'll look downstairs.
I'll be right back.

Thank you!

Listen to me.

He's gone. Put it in here.

What? Are you crazy?

I used to work here,
they know me.

I can't shoplift, are you crazy?

Edith, I'm not going to pay for
a vibrator in front of everybody.

Put it in, he's coming back.

Seriously now!

It's only $14,95.
We can share the cost!

I, as a self-confident housewife
from Neukolln will go to this counter

and say:
"I'd like to buy this device."


Look, it's just that I used
to go out with the cashier.

With the nigger?

We don't use that word anymore!
Do you still live in ancient times?

Just put it in, please!

I don't want him thinking that
I am in need of a vibrator!

I can't waste my whole day here!

But if we get caught,
I'll say that you made me do it!

We won't get caught.
Stop worrying.

For the $14,95 we just saved
we can have a cupcake.

Just a moment, ladies!

- Can I have a word with you?
- Yes, please?

Look, they found
a replacement for me.

No, Mrs Schroder. I'm not Santa
and not your replacement.

My name is Hermann B. Grabschbach
and I am the store detective.

This is my ID.

- VIP pass at the erotic store?
- No, no, that's...

I don't need to identify myself.
You need to give me your IDs.

- Why? We're just browsing!
- Oh really?

So you can't imagine
why I stopped you?

No, why?

What is this doing in your pocket?

You put that in there!

I did no such thing, Mrs Schroder!
What is it doing there?

The shelf... was very unstable

and it just fell in this pocket.

It's so big!

Congratulations, this is the
dumbest excuse of the season.

- You can tell that to Santa.
- I am!

- Are we being fresh?
- You got it back, now let's go!

I don't think so.
You'll stay where you are.

I need to see some ID.
I caught you stealing.

Stop shouting,
people are looking!

- Can't we go somewhere else?
- Now you're embarrassed.

- Of course.
- I can understand.

Let's go to my office.

- Where is that?
- Follow me, Mrs Schroder.

Thanks a lot!

Come in, please, ladies.

Let's go.

Straight ahead, please!

- And now?
- Left! There is only one way.

We are disappointed
on a personal level.

Personal level...

On top of that the incident
with the little girl on your lap.

The CEO's daughter!

- She was his...
- Didn't you know?

No, how should I?

From the huge photograph
in our CEO'S office.

I thought it was a butcher's ad!

She looked like a roast!

You see? This is what I mean.

Your attitude.

This is why you were fired.

You don't fit in our
nice Karstatd family.

So this was your
revenge for getting fired?

No! She put me up to it!

I told you I'd tell on you!

Ok, then. I admit it.

I confess, I am responsible.
But I can explain it.

- Oh really now?
- Yes, really!

This is what happened:
Today I took too much cinnamon oil.

Right as we entered
the store it kicked in

and I was such in a Christmas mode
that I forgot that one has to pay here.

Ok, I take it all back. This is the
dumbest excuse of the season.

Just wait a second!

Let's just say this is petty theft,
Mr Grabschbach.

I thought of something!

My contract is until
the 31st of December!

I'd like a staff discount!

I've never encountered such
reactionary types in my life!

Are you aware of
the situation you're in?

I caught you stealing!
Right on the act!

I can put you in
jail for three days!

Three days?

We'd save heating costs at home.


So lifetime ban from Karstatd
wouldn't affect you ladies.

Lifetime ban?

Services in Germany are a desert!

Can't you think of something else?

I know where this is going...


Mr Grabschbach.

Let's ring those bells!

Don't touch me!
Sit down! Back to your seat!

But I thought...
It's a misunderstanding!

I won't end up guilty as well!

With us it's not a crime!

Thank you, Mrs Schroder.
I hadn't noticed.

I mean...

It's not... a total misunderstanding.

Just... not with me.

With whom then?


You are... good friends, right?

Yes, so?

What do you do...

when you meet in the evenings...

Two... attractive ladies...


On the couch...
A bit of alcohol.

We watch TV sometimes.

Yes, or a nice DVD.
I'm a Video World member.

Drama films. Edith likes to cry.

Yes, but I mean you know...

You can do other things too...?

Not just watch DVDs...


I mean... One could...

You are one,
you are two, I am three...

We could... I am here...

I'd like to watch you two!


What does he mean?

Edith, you still don't get it?

He likes it when two
women play with each other...

Are there such people?

Did you return
from the Stone Age?

- Don't you have internet?
- I don't have a landline.

So, Mr Grabschbach,
you can just forget about this!

We are very sorry.
It's not possible.

We've been friends
for so long. I would laugh!


I see. Right.

What a shame.

You're banned! That?s it!

Wait a minute.
There must be a solution

between the police
and intercourse.

Mr Grabschbach, listen.
The problem is...

We don't have such experience.

Do you think she could have
done something like that?

And you?

At a festival. With Sybille.

Mrs Schroder, does this mean...

you're like a virgin
in this field?

- Even better!
- I'm not even active!


Come, turn the fatty on a bit.

You moan a bit. Come on!

Is this really necessary?

Of course it is!

Come on, do it!

Do it, fondle her a bit!
Like gentle cousins!


- Ouch! Let me do it!
- Just kiss!

Do it!

- Without tongue!
- I thought I should!

Keep going, keep going!

- Touch her breasts!
- No! Why?

What do you mean no?

We don't have all day!

You either do this with me,
or in jail with your inmates!

- Do it!
- Then I'll do this!

More, more!

- Now put your finger in there.
- What?

Put it in! Come on, do it!

Do it already!

What is it? Come on, lick her!

- What?
- Yes!

I draw the line here.

Two words: Lifetime ban!

Come on!

Ok Edith, I will lick you.

I don't want a lifetime ban!

- It's not possible!
- Spread your legs!

- It's just not possible!
- Why not?

I'm wearing these
nylons since Wednesday!

- That's tomorrow!
- Exactly!

Lick, lick!

Lick sister, lick!

Oh, I'm going crazy.

You could have
shaved before at least!

How should I know that
you'd lick me in Karstatd?

Wait a minute.

Are you a natural blonde?

Oh just do it properly.

You see? I knew it!

Oh my God!

Grab the stuff!

Come on!

Luckily my new beer tap
is ready just before Christmas.

It cost $500.

All those melted down 5 cent coins from
the 'rescue the children' donation box.

Damn it!

Miss Hartmann,
it's worse than I thought.

Your coupling is
completely calcified.

It's all blocked!

I cannot work like this!

Do you know what you need?
Two new nipples.

Yes! Then I need to get some English
men to clean the whole mess!

Hold on one second.

Mr Kakalakis...

You know...
I am a little out of practice.

No need to get an English man.

I've prepared an ouzo
for you in the kitchen.

That's your drink, right?

Ouzo? Are you crazy?

I have to work! I got other
clients with nipple problems.


Hi Jutta!

Hey, you can't come in.
We're closed!

You can't come in. I'm busy.

Nonsense! You are here,
therefore it's open!

What happened to you?
Have you been hit by a truck?

Oh, stop!
It's from all the Christmas stress.

It's horrible.

What happened to you?
Your lipstick is smudged and you have...

...hair between your teeth!

Jutta, funny story.
We had a mishap.

There is a new dog
parlour on Hermann Street.

Someone came out
with a freshly shaved dog.

Some hair was still there,
so the wind blew it in her face!

Oh yeah? Bullshit!

Now tell me what really happened.



I don't know how
to tell you this, but...

Me and Edith had
to lick each other.

At Karstatd!

In which section?

At no section!
We were caught stealing!

I need a shot right now
to disinfect my mouth.

I was between her legs!

I need a Futschi!

Miss Hartmann I found the problem.

Your pipes are open again.

Look at this! Jutta, take it.

I have pipe problems too.

Yes, I can smell it.

I mean in my flat,
my kitchen sink.

I've invited the ladies for Christmas.

I only have three plates.
I need to wash them in between.

You just need to pump it
and suck it all out.

No, Edith!

Jutta, it's just a small thing,
I'll bring him back in ten minutes!

Let him go!

Did you see that?

Of course I did! Don't laugh!

She stole my plumber. How am I
supposed to survive the holidays?

Now I get what's going on.

Jutta, I didn't know
you had it in you.

Although, as the old
Chinese saying goes:

"Red roof, moist basement."

What's wrong with your pipe?

I already took it out.

What? You dismantled it?

I'm afraid I demolished it.

Give it to the expert.

This is the pro grip, right?

Put it all in, up to the elbow.

- It's clogged.
- I told you so!


My Christmas stollen!

In the sink pipe?

I had put them in the freezer.

I put it in the sink to let it
thaw as I did the dishes.

When I took the lid out it must
have gone down the pipe.

- Would you like a piece?
- No thanks, I don't like stollen.

- What about a coffee?
- Coffee would be nice.

Make it fast, I need to go.

Of course.

Let me take this.

Please do.

- How do you take it?
- Blond and sweet, like you.

You could use a renovation here.

Nah, it was recently renovated.
15 years ago.

That's a bit long ago.

What's this smell here?

Did someone die in here?

Wait a minute.

Here is your coffee.

How cute, in a Christmas mug.

Oh Gosh, I could
have made you a latte.

Whoopsie daisies.

Excuse my light clothing,
it gets so hot next to the coffee machine.

You know...

When I have a man with
such cute curls in my house...

What happens then?

I'm not the Edith
you know anymore.

Well... My father was Greek.

- No!
- Yes!

Tell me, is the legend true?

What do you mean?

That the Greeks
are well equipped.

Oh yeah.

In my toolbox I have
all the tools you can imagine.

I have a drill, I have a yard stick,
I have a pipe wrench!

I don't mean your toolbox!

I mean your tool!

Oh my, you are so naive!

Don't make me come there!

You're so strict! I like that!

You know what? I have an idea.

I will give you your
Christmas bonus in barter.

What, with the stollen?

Oh, forget about
the old stollen!

No, I mean your own 'stollen'...

If I'm lucky, I will find
some eggnog in it.

Now you got it, huh?

Take your little Greek out!

He's not little,
he's the Colossus of Rhodes!

He smells a bit used, but yummy!

Look how happy he is.

- A penis has no eyes.
- What?

Where did you learn that?
In community college?

No, with my dead husband.

- He was still alive of course!
- Oh okay!

Let me continue.


What are you doing here?

I was... I was sewing a button!

Enough with the nonsense.
I want my plumber back.

- Mr Kakalakis, come please.
- Actually I was about to.

No, no, hold on!
Don't be so business-like.

Quick question:

You have already paid Mr Kakalakis
for the whole afternoon, right?

Yes! That's why he
should come with me.

I'm still a bit excited
from the Karstatd incident.

Don't you wanna bring a little Christmas
spirit in here and share him with us?

Share him? You should
give me something at least.

I'll give you 5 Euro!

Ok, let's do it.

Not bad.

December 24th

Welcome to my humble abode
and Merry Christmas.


I have to put it back in the oven.

What is this in here? Oh look!

It's the neck!

- I'll make broth out of it.
- Bon app?tit!

It's a 4,5 kg goose,
I got it on the B1 highway.


At a street vendor. They had
bird flu last year. I got it very cheap.

Oh well. You know my motto.
Bigger is better.

It will taste good
when it's done.

I hope so.

Ok, let's start!

Isn't this pretty?

What is it?

Cute, I know.
I got it at a nice shop.

You know that I don't
know much about wine.

But! I sought advice.

I had a thorough and extensive
discussion with the cashier at LIDL.

She said: "Mrs Schroder, for the goose
roast, Rosenthaler Cadarca is the best."

That's great.

I bought six of them.

I opened all of them
to let them breathe.

I've already 'breathed' one in.

You had a bottle
of wine by yourself?

No! I put some
of it in the sauce.

- Merry Christmas!
- Merry Christmas!

- Thanks for the invitation.
- Careful!

Fingers off the alcohol!

This is a wine you can
drink even if you're thirsty.

No! It's so sour,
it tingles my tongue.

Well... Jutta.

This wine is not sour and
it doesn't tingle. It massages.

And it has a nutty aftertaste.

- Bottled in Fukushima!
- Yes!

That's where the baby-head
sized grapes grow.

By the end of the night
we'll be glowing!

Speaking of glowing:
Where is your Christmas tree?

You're right!

It looks brilliant this year.
I've exceeded myself.

This year everything is red!

- Where?
- Here!

Edith, did you decorate
your toilet brush?

Oh please!

It's rather... a Christmas bonsai.

No, it's Asian modesty!

How should I get
into the Christmas spirit?

Dunno, go a bit closer!

Should I spend
the whole evening like this?

Why not?

I'm getting my tree
from my flat.

I wonder what kind of metal
rod she'll bring in here.

My laminated floor
is very sensitive.

It's called laminate floor.

Then my laminate
floor is sensitive.

I'm back!

Oh my! Do you need help, Jutta?

Watch out!

- Step aside.
- You stepped on my feet!

Careful, the lamp is shaking.

Here it is.

What's so funny?

It's not decorated!

I had it in the
corner of my room.

Be careful with the curtain!

Now look at it!


It's a real silver fir
from Taiwan.

It was made by a lot of
poor little Taiwanese girls

in a dark factory room
for $1,50 a day.

And we are doing great!

It's really nice, Jutta.

What's this face now?

I don't know.

I don't like it.

I prefer the colourful ones.

But that's so out!
Didn't you read about it?

Single colours are in now.
This is Korean red.

Don't listen to her,
the tree looks incredible.

It looks even better than
the one at the job centre.

Thank you. I got inspired by
the Swarotzki tree at the central station.

I can tell!

What about lights?

Look, this is new.
It has voice recognition.



That's awesome!

I can't believe it!

I'm speechless, Jutta!

The things you can do today!

Now it looks completely different.

I'm gonna try it, okay?

It's so festive!

Isn't it nice when
a simple woman is happy?

Since we are so festive now,

let's sing a Christmas song.

Please, no.

- You can't even sing.
- Yes I can!

I can sing at least two notes.
My voice is trained.

Ok, sing your two notes
so we're done with it.

You're right.

Was that one note?

No! I ate a fruit fly.

Silent night

Holy night

All is calm

All is bright

Round yon virgin

Mother and child

Holy infant

Tender and mild

Sleep in heavenly peace

That's great. Look at what
you've done with your howling.

I didn't sing so bad
that you have to cry.

I just remembered that
I have no children, no man.

I only have you two.

That's horrible.


Listen to me. Empty this
galss of wine and you'll feel better.

That cheap thing!

It's not cheap!
One bottle costs $1,99!

What? Then I want some more.

So what's the plan for tonight?

After dinner we exchange gifts.


That's nonsense.
Gifts come before dinner.

No, first comes the main course,
then gifts, then desert.


If I don't like my present
I can still look forward to desert.

Excuse me?

There is only yogurt
for desert anyway.

Oh come on, that's silly.
You know what?

Let's do gifts before dinner.
I'm so excited.

I had a tingling in my body the whole day.
I can't wait till after dinner.

So, first gifts, then dinner.

For that tingling,
let's do it after dinner.

What tingling are you on about?
Main dish, gifts, yogurt, period!

How come you're
so authoritative?

I brought the Christmas tree.

Oh well okay,
we'll do it your way.

But serve the food Edith!

- I want to get my present!
- We're hungry.

Yeah, but it's not done yet.

Wait, I'm so forgetful.

What do you mean?

I don't know if I have everything.

You don't know?

Let me think for a moment.

Hold on.

Red cabbage, dumplings.

We saw the goose.

Jutta is here.

There was something else.
What was it?

I got it! I forgot the sauce thickener.

Jutta, do you have some at home?

No, my sauces get
thick on their own.

Biggy, you must
have some with you.

Yes, I always have some.
You have to think of something.

I got it! I'll go to
the Turkish shop downstairs.

Turkish shop?

We don't want a goose kebab.

It's a late night shop.
They must have some.

No, just stay here.

Just drink your Cadaver,
I'll be back.

It's Cadarca and stay here!

I'll be right back!

See you in a bit!

What kind of planning is this?

No idea.

She pretends to be great
and then messes it all up.

Too much talk and no result.

Do you smell
the bacteria in here too?

Of course.
She hasn't cleaned in ten months.

Oh, stop it.

- The couch table.
- What about it?

We got it together at the second
hand shop. It used to be white.

Have you seen the cutlery?

My fork looks almost like
a spoon with all the dirt on it.

Look, a dead fly!

Let's leave.

No, Jutta, after all your
efforts bringing the tree here.

Don't worry. I know exactly
what to do with the dirt.


- We'll just seal it.
- How?

With hair spray!

Come on, lift your plate.

Hold your breath.

Who is this?

Who do you think?
Stupid Edith locked herself out.

She'll smell the hairspray.

We'll say we were
doing our hair.

Make it go away.

I'll get the door.
Edith, I'm coming!

I said I'm coming, Edith!
Dear God!


You are two hours early.

I'm sorry I'm so early.

The train schedules are unpredictable.

- You never know...
- I thought you were coming later.

Then they have signal problems.

I'm tellin' ya,
I'm fed up with this.

This is Ilonka?

Yes. She's gotten big, my cutie.

Dear God!

Say hello to her!

If I have to.

Hello, Ilonka!

- Get away from the child!
- What did I do?

Ilonka, dear, don't be afraid.

That's not a leopard,
it's your mommy.

Don't worry, mom.
She will recognize me.

How should she recognize you?

You've never visited us.

Ilonka, my sweetie.

Don't be scared of me.
It's me, your mommy.

Don't remember me?
We have met before.

In the delivery room!


Are you totally crazy?

How can you wear something
like that for Christmas?

Unbelievable. Are you working
on the street or what?

Mother! It's a Gucci!

No, it's too short.

What's on your arms is
supposed to be on your legs.

I can't look at you!

You didn't get that from me.

Hartmann, Jutta.

I heard a lot about you.

She doesn't look like a redhead
mummy, like you say on the phone.

Where is Schroder?


Edith went out to get something.

What, she went shopping
before you've opened the gifts?

What kind of planning is this?

Oh, no, no!

There we go again.

Not with the banana again.
Stop it!

This child eats bananas all the time.
It's not a bad thing, they have vitamins.

But when she's done,

the peel flies through the room
and I never know where it is.

Last time I tripped
on it and fell down!

I was lucky because I only
hit the edge of the couch.

At home I have a similar table,

but you wouldn't know this.

Imagine what would have
happened, had I hit the table.

I would have a bump
on my forehead.

I would have been
there on my table

and I would have dropped dead.

You're exaggerating a bit.

I am afraid of the child.

The little one? Why?

She's very intelligent.

You don't see it at first glance.

I was cleaning up at home.

I found this box in her room.
It was full of flies.

She had ripped their wings off.

Oh! And this thing with
the wheels is just awful.

- What is it?
- She can walk, you know.

But she is lazy as fuck and says:
"Grandma, I wanna roll."

So I have to pull her.

All the way to the shopping centre.

As we go through
the sliding doors she jumps in!

Runs to the Lego shop
and eats all the Lego bricks.

- Mrs Hartmann.
- Yes...

I like you.
You are a nice woman.

One can tell.

You've grown dear to my heart
in the time I got to know you.

- Can't you take the child?
- Oh no!

You've got no time...
You're a business woman.

- Only for a short time.
- Still no...

You know, I won a trip.

To Mallorca.

But it's so stressful!

I get picked up
at 6am with the bus,

brought to the plane
to fly to Mallorca.

From the airplane onto the next bus,
for an hour long city tour in Palma.

Then we'll travel through
the island to see some windmills.

On the way back
we'll visit a winery.

It will just be old women.

None of them will
walk straight - oh stop it!

Because they will be drunk.

Actually I'd love to see the beach.

But it's not possible.
We're only there for 24 hours.

- Mum, come on now...
- Shut the fuck up!

I'm trying to have
a conversation here.

Mrs Hartmann, were you
also bombed in 1945?

Jutta looks older
than she really is.

Is there anything else
I should know about Ilonka?

It's quite simple actually.

Her food is below the wheels.

It's in containers.

Give her one container every day,
divided in three meals.

Great. So, mom,
it was good to see you.

- Bye!
- No!

- What, no?
- No, no, no!

- No, no!
- What no, no?

- No, that's a no-no.
- What no-no?

- No! I'm not going yet!
- Yes you are!

No, Brigitte!
I'm staying another hour.

No, I don't want
Edith to see you.

- I can't leave yet.
- Why not?

My feet are wet.

No wonder.

Why you are wearing your
house shoes in this weather?

Are you crazy?

You know what, Brigitte?
You never listen to me.

I've told you a thousand times.
I cannot wear closed shoes anymore.

I have water retention in my legs.

Water retention?

You can't see it cause it's frozen.

Get out, mom! That's enough!

Bye Ilonka, dear!

I'll pick her up in two days!

She slammed the door...

Look who it is! Mrs Schroder!

Jesus, Mrs Wuttke!
You scared me.

What is wrong with you?
Going shopping before opening the gifts?

But what do I care.

I brought the child over.

She's wearing such
a nice dress, very festive.

She's like a little princess.

Much nicer than your dress...

Don't you want to stay for dinner?

Nice of you to ask, but no.

I have no time, I won this trip.

A trip to Mallorca.
So stressful!

- Let me through, please.
- Merry Christmas.

This will be my last Christmas.

I'm so fed up.

Ilonka, say hello to aunt Jutta!
Come on, she wants to say hello.

- I don't want to!
- You're six years late!

- Come on. Don't be shy.
- I don't want to!

Look! You wanted
to have a kid around!

Yes, I wanted a kid. Imagine
how big she is if she gets up.

Oh, she's just well-nourished.

She sure is.
She looks like Chucky's Bride.

Stop it, I didn't wish
for this to happen.

She's nice, right Ilonka?
You are a polite kid.


Oh shit!

What is wrong with you?

Thank you, Jutta.

Where have you been?
Did you forget you have guests?

No, I didn't. I got sauce.

This is garlic sauce!

Oh well, then it's
crossover kitchen.

You reek of alcohol.
You've been drinking.

I beg your pardon.
I have not been drinking.

Did you know that Turkish
people celebrate Christmas too?

They gave me one, two,
three, four raki shots.

I have a weird
taste in my mouth.

I need to wash it down.

Edith, stop drinking now.

Stop it!

Say hello to our visitor!
Ilonka is here.

You are a really ugly kid.

Children need to hear
the truth at some point.


Ilonka, sweetie, don't worry.

I'm your godmother

and I'm putting money
aside for you until you're 18.

Then I will pay
for your face surgery.

Stop it now!

Or a beheading.

That's enough!

She threw up on your carpet!

Oh, you funny little goofball!

- I'm so sorry, Edith!
- But it's okay!

So you threw up on my carpet.

But don't worry,
it's already very dirty.

I'll smear it all over,
no one will notice.

Don't encourage her.

Ilonka, why are you doing this?

How can you ridicule me like
this on such an important day?

Ilonka, stop it now!

- Jutta, push her out of here.
- No!

Come on, push her out of here.
Get her out.

That's it, no party for you.
Be happy that I am not slapping you.

Get out of here!

- I put her in the hallway.
- Did you lock the door?

Of course.
Why is it so cold in here?

- The balcony door is open.
- Who opened it?

This cannot be.
Why is this happening to me?

Calm down.

How? There is banana vomit
everywhere from my daughter.

- I'll put on a nice Christmas CD.
- What?

- I brought Uschi Glass.
- Do we have to?

It's a nice CD.

Let's turn it on a bit.

That's Uschi Glass?

- It's nice, right?
- She has a really nice voice.

- What?
- A nice voice!

Yes, she wrote
all the songs herself.

Nonsense, this song
is not by Uschi Glass.

It is! She wrote it in 1845
when she was 38.

You make me laugh, Jutta.
Turn it down a bit, okay?

What is this?

I need to smoke to calm down.
I'll be done in a bit.

We said no smoking
on Christmas Eve.

Just one fag, I just had the most
stressful experience ever.

You should be used to it.

That's why today should
smell like Christmas tree.

It's been sprayed in Taiwan!

- Then I will open the balcony door.
- I'm cold, my skirt is short.

I might catch a cold.

You mother is right,
you could dress better.


You locked me out!

I was waving, screaming,
didn't you see me?

I thought it was
a blue garbage bag.

Edith, tell me.

Are you crazy?

We're starving here and you are
enjoying the view on the balcony.

I almost froze.
It's freezing out there.

My nipples are hard.

- Didn't you hear me screaming?
- We were listening to a CD.

Oh really?
Probably at a discotheque volume.

- People were looking.
- We are hungry.

Please serve the food already!

You're right, it must be ready.
I'll go have a look.

Here are the dumplings.

Here you go.

There is more to come.

Careful, Jutta.

The red cabbage!

Edith, hold on.
Is this an albino red cabbage?

It cooked for so long,
that the colour is gone.

But I have another sauce!

How did you manage?

I had some goulash
and I boiled it down.

We have a chef amongst us!

Make some space,
the roast is coming!

That big thing, oh my, Jutta!

It's nice to be invited, right?

Especially here, right?


What is it?

Yes, everything is fine!

- Do you need help?
- I just spilled some fat!

It smells really nice.

Help yourselves.

This was supposed
to be a 4 1/2 kg goose?

It sure was, okay?

It just shrunk a little bit.

It's your fault! I was locked out
for at least 15 minutes!

It shrunk?

The thing is dry as hell!
Listen to this!

I can't eat this fire victim.

- Great, we'll have a veggie Christmas.
- It only gets worse.

But the rest is super yummy.

- Let me serve you.
- Yes, please.

Oh! Hot!

- Another one?
- Yes, please.

Don't do it with your hands!

What should I do? I gave my
big spoons to the pawnshop.

When did you last
wash those paws?

This morning, before I peed.

- Do you also want two?
- Just one.

I'll take two.

Red cabbage.


- Some sauce, Brigitte?
- Yes, please.

- What is it?
- It has skin!

- Just a bit!
- I hate skin!

- I don't like it on milk either.
- I'll take it then.

- It's like a bathing cap.
- It's almost like pudding.

You, Jutta?

On the cabbage,
to give it some colour.

Happy to. Here you go.

- Merry Christmas.
- Bon app?tit!

Cheers, Jutta.

Oh, Jutta, you're so unlucky.

You got the one knife
that isn't sharp.

Well, the sauce is really yummy.

Hey, that was the doorbell.

Oh yeah? I heard nothing.

- It was the doorbell.
- Yes, it was.

Let me finish my dinner, okay?

Don't you want to know who it is?
Maybe it's Santa.

Jutta, Santa never comes here.
Only some guy from the job centre.

Come on, Edith,
go open the door!

Damn it! Can't we have some
peace and quiet at Christmas?


This will be a surprise.

- You know who it is?
- I can guess.

From out the forest we now appear!

To proclaim that Christmas is here!

It's my surprise for you!
I ordered some Santas!

- Who is this?
- You'll never guess.

It was a real surprise, Jutta.

It's Kevin Adriano
and Enrico Norman.

How did you know? Did you tell?

You are bad actors.

No, it was worth an Oscar.
The shoes gave you away.

Oh, no! You could have
chosen different shoes!

No, I couldn't. I have an awful
nail fungus. The foot needs air!

So, are you done with dinner?


Then it's gift time!

Oh yeah! Do you
have the presents?

No, I always carry a big sack.

Yes, presents!

Hey, let me get in there!

- Can you tell us a poem first?
- No! I don't have to!

This looks really expensive.
Irish cream!

That might come out later.

Twist it!

It's really powerful Jutta!
It has the power of four penises.

Did you check your calendar?
What day is it today? It's X-mas Eve!

The birth of our Lord.
I wanted to go to church later!

You can still go!

Just turn it off before.

Is this a hint that I'll never get a man?
Why would you get me this?

Jutta, don't get so upset!

It has multiple parts. You can
use it as an electric toothbrush.

Look at this!
They gave me this for Christmas.

You're right.
It's too thin for me too.

But it's slim line!
It's for your bum, Jutta.

Keep it! I don't need it.
My shower head has a massager.

Oh well.
I licked Edith for nothing.

You did what?
I don't want to know!

Who's next?

The biggest one goes
to the slimmest one!

It's me!

Not for the last 30 years!

Merry Christmas, Brigitte.


Brigitte you will love it!

It fits to your style and your flat.

You are crazy,
getting me something so big.

- Did you get the right one?
- Yes, of course.

I'm so happy, you two!

What do you mean,
it fits my style and my flat?

What? It's beige, brown
and black like your dress.

I am wearing leopard.
This is tiger. They don't match!

It's not tiger!

It's not!

The salesgirl explained
it to me clearly.

It's the belly of the leopard.

The dots become stripes
when they go down to the belly.

- Really?
- No!

This is bullshit!

I told you: Go to Price-Inferno
and get the leopard fur.

No, you didn't say that!

You just gave me 5 Euro.

You said: Just get whatever and with
the change buy yourself a sausage.

I want my 5 Euro back.
I'm not paying for the wrong gift!

It's not possible. It was third
rate, I can't take it back!

Are you serious? You get me
something from Price-Inferno

and it's even third rate?
I hope the sausage was good.

It was yummy!

We can take it if you don't want it.
Someone stole our doormat.


Hold on! It's my turn now!

What? No, you can forget it.

Are you nuts?

You cannot possibly
be expecting a gift from us.

Not from me.


I'm getting no gift?

- No.
- Why not, Brigitte?

Why not? Look at our
opulent Christmas meal.

Yes, but you could have
predicted that. You know Edith.

- She put a lot of effort into it.
- Of course.

And she's your only friend.

No, I have Pet-Shop-Marita
and Solarium-Uschi.

Do as you like.

Merry Christmas, Edith.

It looks so nice!

I put so much effort into it...

Should I iron it
and give it back to you?

Vacuum cleaner bags?


In my whole life I have never
gotten such an impersonal gift.

Not even from
my dead husband Hotte.

But thank you!

These are for the
"RL-48 Super Clean".

If my friends had asked
me which vacuum I have,

they would know that
I have the Siemens 'Vampirette'.

These bags are not suitable for it.

You can cut it
so it fits, you know?

I will be cutting vacuum bags?
As if I had nothing better to do!

- Don't yell at me!
- It's a product of the West!

He's right! It's a special item.
Don't get so upset.

Look on the label.
It's the Karstatd home brand.

You can get it
at any Karstatd store.

I should keep buying
the wrong vacuum bags?

Are you out of your mind?

I will not sit here
and get hit on Christmas Eve.

Me and my tree are out!

- Why don't you?
- Jutta, wait!

Kevin Adriano,
are you completely insane?

You are eating my dumpling.

- What, can't I eat a dumpling?
- No!

- I wanted to have it for breakfast!
- With cinnamon and sugar?

Yes, exactly that.

Give me back
the plate immediately.

You want this plate back?
You want to have my plate?

Here is your fucking plate!

Shut the fuck up!

That's enough!
I've had it up to here!

Get out of here! And you two
Eastern faggots are leaving first.

You just take, take, take
and steal my dumplings.

Go back to Treptow and when
you get there, put the wall back up.

Don't talk to them like this.

Shut up, you little slut!

Why don't you go earn
some money on the street?

I can see your tonsils
from down there.

I totally agree.

Keep quiet you old
Christmas ball, you dried prune!

Go to your fucking pub and bathe
in rum so you get a bit wet.

And take your stupid tree back!

Oh, Jutta, I'm so
sorry about the tree.

I'll put everything back.

Oh dear, Merry Christmas.

What a Christmas.

The food was shit,
the gifts were terrible.

We had a fight.
Let's do this again next year!

- Cheers!
- Cheers!

It gets tastier.

Is the late night
shop still open?

Should be. It's a 24/7.

Then let's go!

Careful, Edith!

Ahmed, we're coming!

Enrico Norman,
your briefs are here!

The leopard briefs?

I got the same!

- Brigitte!
- Brigitte!

Subt?tulos ripeados por Leonnos
** avenidalibertad.es / apolocinegay **