Dragonfly Boy (2021) - full transcript

Freshly 21-year-old Graham is currently in a battle over who he is and who he loves. In a world full of opinions and self-hatred, we watch as he endures this struggle and how he grows with himself and the amazing people around him.


[♪ Freaking Out on the Interstate

♪ rolling down the windows,

♪ baby, I can't hear a thing you say

♪ I'm walking back to my favorite place

♪ and I can feel them staring at me

♪ Baby, do you think I'm doing
something wrong?

♪ And you got a lot in your mind

♪ and your heart, it looks
just like mine

♪ There's no use in wasting
your time anymore

♪ I'm sorry I haven't been myself

♪ and something got me down

♪ What it is, I cannot tell

♪ I won't be satisfied

♪ with anything I've earned

♪ Fear is just a part of love

♪ and one thing I found

♪ is love is what you deserve ♪]

[ALICE - downstairs] Oh, Graham!

Happy birthday loser! Ah, ah! 

- Alice you know I hate surprises.

Yeah, and I  wouldn't get you anything
for your 21st birthday.

- Oh wow oh my god.

[ALICE] Yeah i made it myself. It's a dragonfly.
You like those right?

[GRAHAM] Thank you.
- Of course...

... Happy Birthday... and...

...because it's your birthday
there's only one thing we can do...

[GRAHAM] No Alice, not a party...

- A party! Oh yeah!

We're gonna have a party  

and I've invited Jess and Cass,
they're coming around seven

to help us set up

and I think they're bringing some friends

and just might be bringing her cousin Connor

that we had like dinner a few months ago

- Connor DeMary?

[ALICE] No, her other cousin Connor

Yeah, it's gonna be super fine. 

Everyone's gonna come have a good time

I think that, oh yeah!
Oh no I invited Grace! That's gonna be fun

[GRAHAM] Oh awesome!
- Yes! 

So awesome because i couldn't get in the way of
a  such a passionate...fiery love that you two have.

- Yeah, no I mean she is pretty cool

[ALICE] Oh is she? That's funny you should say because...

...you haven't asked her out

[GRAHAM] I'm just, I'm personally just waiting for the right time  

[ALICE]Okay John Mayer...

Well she's waiting and she's not gonna wait forever.

Don't get too drunk before the party
- Yeah yeah

- Hey are you good?
[GRAHAM]Yeah, yeah I think I just... just fell

[CONNOR] Oh yeah, no that's a mark huh
[GRAHAM] Yeah 

- Connor by the way
- Graham

Yeah, yeah
[CONNOR] It should be good though.

I think I have some bandages in my car

[GRAHAM] Oh oh you don't have...

- Okay
- Okay all right. thank you, thank you

- Okay. So...bad news,
I don't have any bandages in  my car but...

... my apartment's right over there

- I think.. I think I'll be all right.
It's really fine

[CONNOR] No, I insist

[GRAHAM] Okay.
[CONNOR] Come on!

Happy Birthday to you Happy Birthday to you

Happy Birthday dear [ALICE] butthead

Happy birthday to you

- Oh pathetic!

- All right everyone, let's get this  party started

[ALICE] Let the birthday boy eat his
damned cake Cassie

[CASSIE] You're right. I just haven't  been drunk in so long...

[JESS] Okay, I'm trying to say
I'm really sorry I can't make it later

but i think Connor may still come by

[Heads Will Roll by A-Trak begins]

- Hey
- Hey

- Yeah, she said there'd be cuter boys here
but I don't see them nowhere, so...

- Fair

[DAHLIA] Aren't you the birthday boy, if I'm not mistaken?

[GRAHAM] You've caught me
[DAHLIA] You look like you're having bad time 

[GRAHAM] Oh yeah, yeah. No i'm just waiting for someone yeah

[DAHLIA] Oh like a birthday surprise?

Okay, thought that, well do you have a plan?

[GRAHAM] I...I mean...

- Are you nervous?

- No, I've got there...
- No, no, no..but first...

...Okay, first step make a plan

if it goes wrong, I'll be over there
having a good time, dancing, drinking like

I'm at a party right...

...uhm and if  anything goes wrong
just I'm right over there so...

- Thanks but I don't think I'm gonna need that
- [DAHLIA] Good luck

[CASSIE] Dahlia!
[DAHLIA] Oh good luck good luck, I'll see you there, bye

- Alice!
[ALICE] Hey Graham, are you having fun?

[GRAHAM] Yeah, do you know where Connor is?

- No, he's not coming, he's not coming tonight

[GRAHAM] Why? Why isn't he coming?

- Cassie, who is Connor?
[CASSIE] Connor?

[ALICE] Who IS Connor? okay okay..

- Hey stranger
[GRAHAM] Oh hey Grace

- How's your 21st going?

- Good, I'm absolutely 100% stone cold sober

- Oh I can tell. Are you sober on your birthday?

I don't think so, we got to do something
about that

[GRAHAM] I mean...don't worry about that.
I'm fine.

[GRACE] Graham you only turn 21 once.
I'm here to save the day.

[GRAHAM] How so?


[♪ I'm not in love so don't forget it

♪ It's just a silly phase
I'm going through

♪ And just because I call you up

♪ don'get me wrong,
don't think you got it made

♪ I'm not in love, no, no

♪ It's because

♪ because big boys don't cry
Big boys don't cry

♪ Big boys don't cry

♪ I'm not in love
I'm not in love ♪]

I, I got it, thank you.

- Do you want anything to drink?
- Yeah, sure

- Water?
- Yeah that'll be fine. [CONNOR] Yeah.

- Oh my god it's a miracle. I didn't think that
you'd be able to walk again.

How does it feel?
- Ah, it's fine. Thank you again for the help. 

- Yeah of course. Here.
- Thanks

- So where are you from?

- Well...the..uhm...the Washburn Apartments,
like two blocks away...

- Wait! The Washburn apartments isn't that the place

with the..uh...the rats from last summer?

- Yes, yes it is unfortunately, unfortunately that's true

- Sorry for laughing.
- No, no, no it's fine. It's fucking gross.

[CONNOR] Yeah...uhm...wait isn't that also where...

...uhm...the place where

Oh... one second, sorry
- No that's...

[CONNOR] Oh, it's my mom sorry

Hey mom what's up?

Wait, wait, what, how?

Okay. Well, did you tell him?

I'll deal with this later...

...uhm...yeah...okay, bye.

[GRAHAM] Uhm... any anything i can help with?

[CONNOR]Oh no, no. I'm sorry, it's some uh family stuff.
It's fine...Uhm...

[GRAHAM] I was just right to go anyways
[CONNOR] Okay, nice meeting  you

[GRAHAM] Yeah thank you again that was great
[CONNOR] Of course

- Alice, can you get that?
[ALICE] *Indistinct Groan*

- Oh, hey Graham
- Oh hey Dahlia.

[DAHLIA] Sorry I left my coat here last night.

My mom she would actually
murder me if I lost it

[GRAHAM] Welcome back.

[DAHLIA] Don't you look great?

[GRAHAM] I didn't expect any guests this morning.

[DAHLIA] Is that girl still here?
[GRAHAM] What girl?

[DAHLIA] The one you were absolutely devouring
last night in front of everybody. 

[GRAHAM] Grace? Yeah, I know...ah... she left last night. 

[DAHLIA] It seems like you guys had a lot of fun
[GRAHAM] Yeah... 

[DAHLIA] What are you doing today?

[GRAHAM] Uhm... other than recovering
from this hangover, nothing.

[DAHLIA] Do you want to have lunch?
[GRAHAM]Oh...okay, okay, yeah

[DAHLIA] Perfect go cover your nips, we're leaving in five.
[GRAHAM] All right

So how'd you meet Grace?
[GRAHAM] Uhm...not too long ago actually.

Uhm...Alice, one of her friends was having
a pool party and uhm...she was there.

and we hung out, we started talking,
she's really cool, I like her...

...uhm...yeah, yeah, we've hung out a few times
since then, including last night.

[DAHLIA] Is that why you were so nervous?

[GRAHAM] Yeah, I don't know why I get so nervous...

[DAHLIA] It's young love, it's beautiful,

but she is super attractive though, so that's a plus.

[GRAHAM] Yeah she is, totally.
How about you? You got anyone?

[DAHLIA] Slow down, this isn't a date if that's
what you're thinking, but no.

I'm too good for this town.
Men are fucking useless, no offense.

[GRAHAM] None, none taken.

[DAHLIA] Yeah, I'll worry about that another time.
For right now, they're just fun to play with.

One day I'll move out to Paris and
I'll live in a beautiful apartment  

with a balcony overlooking the Eiffel Tower

and I'll sit out there in the mornings
so I'll watch the sunrise,

I'll drink tea, eat incredible food that

I'll post every day to make my haters rage

and maybe I'll meet some nice French guy
named Pierre, Remy.

[GRAHAM] Like the rat?

[DAHLIA] It's my dream life, not yours
[GRAHAM] Sorry...sorry

[DAHLIA] But this guy is gonna be perfect, nothing less.

He'll come over every day and

we turn on the radio and listen to some oldies
and dance in the kitchen

like we're the only two
left in the world.

We'll never get sick of hearing each other's stories
about what happened that day

or what we're going to do the next day because

with each other looking into each
other's eyes

that's the only place we want to be.

[GRAHAM[ That's, you know, that's amazing.
[DAHLIA] I know, thanks.

[DAHLIA] Okay we should do this again you're fine.
[GRAHAM] I agree

[DAHLIA] All right, I'll see you soon
[GRAHAM] See you Dahlia!

- Are you seriously still dying in bed?
[ALICE] What the hell are you on this morning?

Usually you're dying right next to me

and then we play rock, paper scissors, shoot
and you make me mimosas.

- Well, Dahlia came by earlier,
she forgot her coat or something

and then we went out and got some food.

[ALICE] That's cute. What did you guys talk about?

[GRAHAM] Just things, stuff. stuff

[ALICE] Okay fine. Don't tell me
[GRAHAM] Are you seriously getting offended?

[ALICE] Please leave a message for Alice after the beep.

- How long do we have to stay there?
[ALICE] Forever, we're moving.

Seriously though, if you keep complaining about
this party i'm going to get your ass

[GRAHAM] I know, I know.
I just don't know anybody there

[ALICE] Jackson's going
[GRAHAM] No, no, no, not bug collector Jackson

JESS] He's the kid who brought the bug to class last year
[[GRAHAM] oh absolutely not

[ALICE] You're gonna be fine champ

[GRAHAM] You know if he brings abug i swear to God
I'm leaving. I'm going to.

[GRAHAM] So why isn't Cassie coming anymore?

[JESS] I guess she's on some boat with this guy
she just met

[JESS] You know what they say about the summer time

[ALICE] Oh yeah, I mean if a guy has a boat you gotta go.
I don't blame her one bit

[JESS] Oh absolutely. A man with a boat I hope he's the one  

[ALICE] I mean, if he's got a boat, he is the one.

Remember the time that Cassie used tip off
the side of the boat last year

[JESS] Yeah she's always a fool
making a straight up fool of herself

Maybe we'll find you the one today Graham,
who knows?

[ALICE] Oh yeah all the pretty babes in bikinis,
find your soulmate.

[JESS] Jackson for one?

- What are you doing?

Are you actually sleeping right now.
We are at a party and you're asleep.

- No, no
- Get up Graham, get up!

- Noooooo


[GRAHAM] Do you want to get going soon?
[JESS] Right now?

[GRAHAM] I mean like now
[JESS] I'm having fun, just a little longer?

[GRAHAM] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[JESS] All right, okay

- Okay

[GRACE] Watch out!

I'm so sorry
[GRAHAM] It's fine, I think I'll survive.

- I'm Grace
- I'm Graham

[GRACE] Wait, are you serious?
[GRAHAM] You heard me.

[GRACE] You really gave the entire team chickenpox

totally sabotaging any chance at the championship?

[GRACE] That is incredible.


[GRACE] You're pretty cool Graham.
[GRAHAM] You are too.

[ALICE] Graham, mama's drunk and I wanna go.

[GRAHAM] Yeah, Yeah. That...that's my cue.

[GRACE] Will I see you again?
[GRAHAM] Yeah, I can make that happen.

[ALICE] Yep, and you're driving.

[GRAHAM] Here we go.

Goodnight Alice.
[ALICE] *mumbles* Goodnight.

- So is Dahlia coming or what?
[GRAHAM] No, no. I don't think so.

- Where's the dragonfly bracelet i got you? I made you?

[GRAHAM] I lost it. I don't know, it desappeared...

[ALICE] You lost it? [GRAHAM] I obviously...
[ALICE] You don't know? I spent like 50 hours...

Hey, hey what's up?

[JESS] Just got back from my new tattoo appointment

[ALICE] Oh shit, look at that
[CASSIE] It's really so pretty

[JESS] Thank you so much
[CASSIE] I like it

[ALICE] Why the dragonfly?
[JESS] Well you know my cousin Connor, 

he's like going through a hard time right now

and we just kind of talked about like
the dragonfly and how transformative it is

and that really resonates with me

and so we scheduled these appointments then,
you know

[GRAHAM] Wow!!
[ALICE] That, it looks cool right

[JESS] Yeah and it looks pretty cool

[CASSIE] Graham I heard you hung out
with Dahlia the other day

[GRAHAM] Yeah she she got me so hungover...
I was dead, I was...

[CASSIE] I love her, she's so sweet,
you're gonna get along so well with her..

[GRAHAM] Yeah...

[DAHLIA] So how's grace?

[GRAHAM] Uhm... I haven't seen her since the party
[DAHLIA] Why's that?

[GRAHAM] I don't know. I've been busy. 

[DAHLIA] Busy? Busy with what?
You're 21, this isn't the time to be busy.

What's up?

Okay, all right. Come on! Come on!  

Ever since I was in high school,
it's always been my favorite thing

to just come down to the ocean and
admire how big the world is around me.

For a moment i feel so infinite yet so small.

At the same time all my thoughts
and my anxieties

just seem to be absorbed by the ocean
and the sky

and I like go.


[GRAHAM] Whoa whoa what the what the hell is that?
[DAHLIA] Try it!

[GRAHAM] Screaming?
[DAHLIA] Yes, try it!

[GRAHAM] You wanna me scream?
[DAHLIA] Yes, try it!


[DAHLIA] What did you feel like when you met Grace?

[GRAHAM] What do you mean?

[DAHLIA] Like how did you know?

[GRAHAM] It was that night at the pool.

I don't know we were talking and

sitting on the edge,

she kept getting closer and we kissed

[DAHLIA] No way!

[GRAHAM] Yeah, but I...uhm...I didn't feel any different.

[DAHLIA] What do you mean?

- You know when people tell you about
something you haven't experienced yet, 

a feeling you haven't experienced yet or something

you look forward to it so much,  

but when it finally happens
it's totally underwhelming and

the opposite of what you expected it
to feel like.

That was when we kissed

I expected all the universe's questions
to be answered then

and to understand everything.

- Maybe she isn't the one.

- Or maybe she can't be.

When i was 13,
my mom told me it was just puberty.

She said don't worry Graham, go to bed,

they're just bad thoughts, they'll be gone in the morning...

but they never were.

It's been eight years and
they still haven't.

I used to look in the mirror

and the boy staring at me would be terrified.

I saw a boy,

and on the outside he was just
like any other boy,

but... but he knew really,
when really looked into his eyes,

really saw who he was,  

he couldn't figure out how,

he couldn't figure out why he was different.

He couldn't accept himself, 

he yearned for the validation of others,
struggled to find the right girl

and when he finally met one,
he thought she would have all the answers,

she would be the one...

she would be the one that
would help everything make sense,

she would...she would be the one
to make the struggle worth it.

But she wasn't.

She couldn't be,
she could never be the one.

[DAHLIA] What are you saying Graham?
[GRAHAM] I'm saying I'm terrified.

[DAHLIA] Why? 
[GRAHAM] Because I'm scared of who I am.

[DAHLIA] Or are you afraid that
you can finally be who you are?

[GRAHAM] What if i don't want,
what if i don't want this?

I just don't know what.
I...I just don't know what I want.

I'm waiting for someone to give me
the answers, anything and...

nobody's giving me the right answers.

[DAHLIA] That's because no one can figure out
who you are except for you.

You have to find out for yourself.

You know who you are but,
when it's your time,

you can tell the world
or you don't.

Who cares how long it takes you to figure it out.

[GRAHAM] When will I know?

[DAHLIA] As soon as you're ready
to accept the love you deserve.

My thing is: life is short.

Allow yourself to feel, allow yourself
to get hurt and be confused.

You're human,
but never be discouraged by the hurt.

It takes some people a lifetime to figure out
who they are, where they're going and

who they want to take with them.

Life is weird,
you just gotta let yourself love.

I hate this country, its culture.

People sticker label after label
to their bodies, to their brains,

until they completely suffocate
the real-life person underneath.

Labels mean nothing,
they're just a way to generalize.

We're so obsessed with fitting in that

we forget that people
are never one-dimensional.

You shouldn't have to define yourself,

you should just be allowed to be.

In our crazy messed up world,

if you're different,
you just have to tell everyone.

[GRAHAM[ I just don't know if I'm ready.

[DAHLIA] I'm not saying you have to announce it,

let alone even know yourself,

but for people like Grace

make sure not anyone get hurt.

Every day I wake up  

and look at myself in the mirror
and think

if I died today would I be happy
with how I lived? Did I live authentically?

Your heart's going to die one day Graham,
but your soul will live on.

And you nor anyone else

won't ever be able to touch or love
your body ever again.

Be free and enjoy it while you can,
it's your only one.

[ALICE - VOICEMAIL] Hey Graham I'm not home right now because

I'm currently with Cassie grabbing some last minute
things for tonight.

I completely forgot that we moved
Jess's birthday celebration

to this weekend  and not next weekend.

So hopefully your suit is ready.

Her and her cousin are coming
over at like six

so if you could please, please, please,
please clean the kitchen

so i don't start stress vomiting,
that'd be great.

All right, thank you, so much.
Cassie and I'll be there ASAP, okay, bye.


[♪ Fly me

♪ Fly me to the moon

♪ And let me play among the stars

♪ Let me see

♪ Oh I wanna see what spring is like

♪ On Jupiter

♪ On Jupiter and Mars

♪ In other words, hold my hand ♪]

[ALICE] All the balloons popped.

[CASSIE] Hey Graham!

[ALICE] It smells really good in here.

[GRAHAM] Yeah I just started cooking,
why did we move it to this weekend?

[ALICE] Well because Jess is 21 and
you can't go to the bars yet.

[CASSIE] Happy Birthday
[JESS] Thank you so much.

[CONNOR] Hey Cass, good to see you again.
[ALICE] Happy Birthday!!

Who's this?
[JESS} Oh this is my cousin Connor.

[CONNOR] I'm Connor, nice to meet you. What was your name?
[ALICE] I'm Alice, Graham's roommate.

[CONNOR] Oh, Graham, hey. Wait I didn't know you knew..
[TOGETHER] Jess. Yeah.

[GRAHAM] Yeah she's, she's your cousin?
[CONNOR] Yeah, it's nice to see you again.

[GRAHAM] Yeah, it's nice to see you too.

[CONNOR] This looks nice.
[GRAHAM] Yeah, it is.

[CONNOR] Graham you did a really good job
with this chicken.

[GRAHAM] Thank you, I, what? Was cooking it for
like two, three hours?

[ALICE] Okay that's a lie.
[GRAHAM] What?

[ALICE] You know you bought that chicken from Hannaford's

[GRAHAM] Oh my...yes. I physically bought
the chicken from Hannaford's, that's true

but like..I...I...
[ALICE] The receipt says cooked.

[GRAHAM] All right.

[CONNOR] Wait, so how did you guys meet?
[JESS] Uhm...bio right?

[GRAHAM] Yeah what bio 100
[Connor] Freshman year...

[JESS] Freshman year.Yeah Cassie was in the class too
[Connor] Oh really?

[CASSIE] Yeah, we all had it together.

[JESS] You know I've known Cass for like ever

[CONNOR] Yeah I know. I live
where Graham

he busted his ass in flame.
It's so funny

[ALICE] Is that why you came home the other day crying?

[GRAHAM] Oh my god i wasn't crying but

yes it was really nice he helped me,
you know...I...I...

[ALICE] With your booboo
[GRAHAM] Oh. my god!

[ALICE] Ah Jess, so for your 21st, you're actually 21st,
we should go to that bar on the main street?

[Jess] Yeah
[CONNOR] O-hop right? Great!

[ALICE] Yes, yes! oh my god!

Yeah! Do you remember...yes

when you get..ah, ah...
this girl got so drunk,

her boyfriend had to drag her ass off the bar

because she was dancing so much...

[JESS] You remember that, Cass?
[CASSIE] Not really.

[CONNOR] Blacked out?

[CONNOR] Been there before.

[ALICE] How's your boyfriend, Jess?

[JESS] Uhm... he's, something but not as bad as
this one's ex-boyfriend, let me tell you

[CONNOR] Yeah, yeah. My ex-boyfriend almost...
uhm... ran me over with the bus one time so...

- Wow...
[GRAHAM] What?

[CONNOR] Yeah he's a bus driver so...

[ALICE] A bus driver? He's a bus driver?
[ALL TOGETHER] Red flag.

[ALICE] Connor, you have to come out with us next time!
[CASSIE] We have to go to a gay bar!

[JESS] No, I know the perfect place.
[CONNOR] Really

[JESS] Yeah
[ALICE] We could hook him up with someone!

[CONNOR] Yeah I'm just kind of waiting
for the right one, you know

[ALICE] No, you just need a hook up
[CONNOR] Yeah you're right

[CASSIE] Oh yeah, there's going to be tons of guys there
[ALICE] Oh, yeah.

[CASSIE] Like you're going to find the right man
[Connor] Really?

[ALICE] Dude they're so hot, it's honestly unfair.
Like they're so hot like.

[CONNOR] Yeah, no, I've never been to a gay bar before so.
[ALICE] What? How have he and you haven't? Oh my god.


[CONNOR] How are you?

[GRAHAM] I'm pretty good, how are you?


The stars are a beautiful thing, aren't they?

[GRAHAM] Yeah, they're little dots away that people use to connect

and make shapes and images it's...uhm...
it's beautiful.

[CONNOR] The human mind is a beautiful thing too isn't it?

[CONNOR] People get so lost in themselves,
lost in their lives that

they forget we can just take a step back and
look at the stars

and realize how small we really are,

how insignificant everything is.

It's so easy not to

follow your heart,

lose sight of who we are,

to forget what it's like to be

blissfully and brutally human


we don't even allow ourselves to be happy.

[GRAHAM] Are you happy?

[CONNOR] I try to do everything i can
to be happy and to feel alive but

not everyone agrees with it

but life's too short right?
[GRAHAM] Right.

[ALICE] Graham, you gotta come join the actual party
and we're...forget it...

[CONNOR] Hey do you need help with 
any of the dishes or anything?

[GRAHAM] Oh no, no.I think i'm all good

[CONNOR] Also...uhm...do you know where the girls coats are?

[GRAHAM] Umm...they're up on the third floor and...
uhm... it's like the first room

[CONNOR] Do you mind just helping me?
[GRAHAM] Sure, yeah okay, okay.

[CONNOR] Where are they?
[GRAHAM] Right over there.

[CONNOR] Over here?

[CONNOR] A dragonfly pendant?
[GRAHAM] Yeah, my mom gave it to me, when i was nine.

That's when she gave it to me
after my grandma passed away

[CONNOR] I'm sorry

[GRAHAM] The dragonfly is a family symbol.

That was my grandma's favorite creature and
we just kind of adopted it.

As I've grown up I've seen
dragonflies everywhere:

on my way to school, concerts, baseball games,

it's just nice, she's always looking down on me

[CONNOR] Yeah, she's always protecting you.
[GRAHAM] Yeah, exactly.

[CONNOR] That's beautiful...

You know  the dragonfly also means transformation.

You're like a dragonfly, you attract positive change

On the inside of you, dancing with you

you are capable of loving and capable of living, but

it's the moment you allow yourself to dance on the outside,

it's the moment you grow wings

[GRAHAM] What if, what if what's on the inside is scary,
scarier than living a lie?

[CONNOR] You're supposed to be scared, you're human.
Are you afraid of me?

[GRAHAM] That's what I keep telling myself.

[CONNOR] Oh. I should go. [GRAHAM] Yeah.

[DAHLIA] So how did you know?

[GRAHAM] Since the seventh grade.

I started getting these really intrusive thoughts,

you know like... it was normal.

I grew up listening to what other people
were saying and

I knew it was a part of life

but what i didn't realize

was that the other boys had different thoughts.

I just thought everyone was like me.

But when i truly knew
It was the day i fell in love.

His name is Peter.

We had been best friends since second grade,
we did everything together:

we played video games,

we talked for hours about
everything and nothing at the same time;

you couldn't, you couldn't separate us.

Around junior year is
when I started to recognize my feelings

and I knew that I wanted us to be more than friends,
more than best friends

and I put myself into this cycle of self-loathing

and it took me, it took me years to get out of it.

I'll always remember how hard I...I fell for him
and how...how much i truly loved him

and him and his girlfriend are so adorable
but I'm jealous,

and I'm not jealous of them you know, it's...

it's that mutual love that they
have for each other, it's just...

I'll always remember how he made me feel.

He...he was in my life for a reason

He helped me discover a part of myself 

and...and I'll forever be thankful for that.

[DAHLIA] You're a beautiful human Graham.

You deserve all the love that
you gave the world right back to you.

[DAHLIA] Oh shit!
[GRAHAM] What?

[DAHLIA] Oh shit! I forgot I had a date,
I completely forgot, oh my god! Oh my god! 

Can we, I'm so sorry,
can you take me back to my house?

[GRAHAM] Yeah, yeah, yeah
[DAHLIA] God...I have no idea what...

Can you help me get ready,
I have no idea what i'm wearing

[GRAHAM] Sure, yeah, sure
[DAHLIA] Thank you, oh my god oh my god.

[DAHLIA] Graham, what do I even wear to this date?
[GRAHAM] I don't know 

[DAHLIA] Should I wear a dress?
[GRAHAM] No, that way is too formal

[DAHLIA] Really?

[DAHLIA] Do you think it's too formal...uhm...what jeans?
[GRAHAM] Uhm...yeah, yeah I think that works.

[DAHLIA] You don't think that's not...
okay...okay, whatever...

As if he even deserves to see me in jeans
as he even deserves to see me at all.

I shouldn't even go, I shouldn't even go

Why am I going?  
[GRAHAM] I don't know.

[DAHLIA] Can I...I don't wanna go

[GRAHAM] No, you should.
You've been looking forward to it

[DAHLIA] And I have to redo my make up too.
I'm doing too much.

[GRAHAM] What...why do you wear a make up or
like why do you wear a make up? 

[DAHLIA] Why do i wear makeup?
[GRAHAM] Yeah...

[DAHLIA] Uhm...Uhmm...for a lot of reasons.

I think it's fun...

umm...I think it's a really cool way to express yourself and

Honestly, the human faces are already so beautiful

and it's so cool that we can just like
add things to enhance our beauty.

Which one should I wear?
[GRAHAM] Uhm...that one

[DAHLIA] This one, yeah okay

Why did you ask?

[GRAHAM] Uuhhmmm...

Can...can i try?
[DAHLIA] What?

[GRAHAM] Like...can I...can I...
put on some...can I try some make up?

[DAHLIA] Seriously? [GRAHAM] Yeah

[DAHLIA] You are ready to make up?

[DAHLIA] I...I mean I have time before I have to leave,

right now?

[DAHLIA] I would love to... oh my gosh!
I would love to...it's gonna be so fun, oh my god!


[CONNOR] Umm...can I come in?
[GRAHAM] Yeah, yeah.

[CONNOR] I just wanted to talk about the other night.

You know that night I met you at...uhm..

.the train tracks,
when I patched up your knee.

and you overheard a phone call...


That was my mom and

she had mentioned that she...umm...
my dad had found out some news about me

that he's not really happy with.

After I dropped off the girls

I came back home and
my dad  was waiting up for me


next to his feet were bags of all my things.

He basically told me that I was a disappointment

and an embarrassment and that

I'm no longer his son so...
I can't go back.

[GRAHAM] Connor... I'm so sorry. I just...
Do you have anywhere to stay?

[CONNOR] Yeah uhm,

I've been staying with Jess on her floor but

I can't burden her about further, so...

I have some family on the west coast...

umm...that I'm probably gonna stay with. I...

I'm trying to figure it out but...

uhm...I've been meaning to go for a while, so...

[GRAHAM] That's bullshit! He's your dad

he shouldn't have the right
to kick his own son out

It's...It's..just everything you've been through
just because you're...

[CONNOR] Gay. I know he probably thinks I'm the devil.

[GRAHAM] Let me grab up your towel, okay?

[CONNOR] I used to ask myself that question constantly:

Who am I?

I spent all the time expecting other people
to answer that question for me

and I...

I never thought that I'd be able
to solve my own problems,

answer my own questions


now I just listen to my heart

and let it guide me.

Life's a lot more fun that way.


It's funny how much you learn
about yourself when

you listen to your heart,
discover more things about yourself.

[GRAHAM] I...I try listening to myself

my heart tells me one thing and
my mind tells me other

and I never know which one to listen to.

How do you know which one is right?

[CONNOR] I listen to my heart.

My mind is like this massive knot of 

billions of like thoughts
and opinions and ideas

but people can and will control

your mind and play with it,

but you can always choose to listen to your heart.

You know?

[CONNOR] Your heart knows when you're happy,
when you're sad, when you're scared 

when you're nervous or when you're excited. 

That's why heartbreak is one of
the worst feelings to go through

and when I wasn't accepting who I was,
that's exactly how I felt.

I had this horrible feeling in my heart

every single day because I was  

something I thought this world
would rather get rid of than keep,

some freak accident,

at least that's how my dad felt, but

I used to always question is it worth it?

Is this gonna get better? And...

questioned if i even knew what i was doing


the night when we kissed
everything made sense.

You felt like a hand that wiped away
all the tears that I ever cried

it felt like

you took away all the bruises
and wounds from my life and

cherished them because
in that moment it gave me hope.

I knew it was gonna be worth it
when I knew.

[JE TE LAISSERAI DES MOTS by Patrick Watson]

[♪ I’ll leave you words

♪ Underneath your door

♪ Underneath the singing moon

♪ Near the place where your feet pass by

♪ Hidden in the holes of wintertime

♪ And when you’re alone for a moment

♪ Kiss me

♪ Whenever you want

♪ Kiss me
Whenever you want

♪ Kiss me
Whenever you want ♪]

Good morning.

Good morning.


Yeah, what's up? Oh okay.

Ah... yeah, I'll be down in a sec.

Uhm...that was Jess she's coming,
comes to pick me up, so...but.

Uhm...I just wanted to say
thank you for everything

You already gave me my answer
the other night but...

but last night you gave me hope again so...

I'm probably not gonna see you for a bit but...

I hope that you're finding yourself, so...

Take care.

Hey Alice it's Dahlia.

Hey...uhm...can you just tell Graham to call me back?

Oh gotcha, okay.

Yeah sorry, thanks, bye.

[ALICE] Hey, are you good?
[GRAHAM] Yeah, I'm fine.

[ALICE] You know you can always talk to me, right?


[ALICE] Ok. Well, I'm just across the hall.

[DAHLIA] What are you fucking doing?
Why have you been ignoring me?

[GRAHAM] I've been busy.
[DAHLIA] Busy with what?

[GRAHAM] Stuff.

[DAHLIA] What are you not telling me Graham?

[GRAHAM] Nothing, I don't know what you're talking about.

[DAHLIA] Don't be shit with me Graham.
You can't just throw me away after

we've been hanging out every single day
and there is nothing wrong.

[GRAHAM] I don't see what the issue is

[DAHLIA] Then why did you tell Alice
to tell me that

you flew home this weekend to see your family?

[GRAHAM] Because I needed a fucking break, okay?
[DAHLIA] A break from what?

[GRAHAM] From you inside my head!
I feel like I'm going crazy

[DAHLIA] What am I getting in your head about?

[GRAHAM] You know exactly what you're getting
in my head about this fucking gay shit

You're asking so many questions.
I just need a moment to think.

[DAHLIA] I'm sorry that I've just been listening
to you and trying to give you advice.

[GRAHAM] You know what? Your advice is shit

[DAHLIA] The fuck Graham
[GRAHAM] Just, just go Dahlia.

[DAHLIA] No, no I'm not going, why would I ?
I'm not gonna go!

We've been hanging out every single day
I've been trying to help you

[GRAHAM] I know, I know I'm just
trying to get a moment to myself,

I'm trying to get away from everything.

[DAHLIA] But why? Haven't you just...
[GRAHAM] Because I'm scared, Dahlia, I'm scared.

For 21 years I've been living a lie and..and

and I see myself changing into a different person
and I'm scared.

I've built up this barrier and
it makes me feel safe but

I can feel myself dying from the inside out.

Do you know how difficult it is
telling people who you really are?

It shouldn't matter but it does.

And I appreciate you so much 
for helping me find myself,

but i can't fall asleep every night because
I  i know I'm not...I know i'm not normal.

[DAHLIA] But you aren't normal, Graham!
Who the fuck wants to be normal?

There's eight billion people on this wasteful,
fucking planet but only one  of you.

There's no other Graham with your smile
and your personality 

and...and your passion for life and the world.

Nobody gives the same love that you do.

You're so special and unique, 
you're so beautiful.

[GRAHAM] Why don't I feel it then?

I've been thinking all my questions are getting
answered but they aren't

and, and, and I'm fucking tired of it.

[DAHLIA] Because you're a human,

you're learning how to love yourself unconditionally.

Your whole life people have told you who you are
and who you're supposed to love but

you're the only one who knows who you truly are.

I love you Graham and so does Alice and

Jess, and Cassie, and everybody

who's ever had the pleasure of meeting you.

I think I can speak for all of us

when I say that the Graham that we know is 

an incredible, amazing, caring friend and

we're all so grateful for you and

wish you nothing but the best and

we wish for nothing less of you

feeling comfortable in your own skin and

being the truest, the best version of yourself.

There's only one life,

why waste such a precious gift
by holding yourself back from it? 

[GRAHAM] His name is Connor. 

He was the person I was waiting for at the party.

I've liked, I've had feelings for other boys before,

you know the ones I used to just brush away

but he was different.

He welcomed me and everything I was

or, at that moment, everything I wanted to be.

[DAKLIA] Do you still talk to him
[GRAHAM] His dad kicked him out.  

The night he told me was actually
the last time I saw him

and that night we slept with each other.

I was terrified at first but

almost felt like the universe wrapped its arms
around me and told me it was gonna be okay.

For the first time I was able to like fully,

for the first time I was able to breathe.

I thought it was just a stupid one-night thing and

my life would go right back on track
to being normal

but...but now it all makes sense.

God all the time I've wasted.

[DAHLIA] You didn't waste any time Graham.

I remember like it was just yesterday:
me and my little brother used to go out

to that lighthouse over there and

he used to think that
the little light on the top was a U.F.O.

and I used to pretend to be an alien

and chase him around until he got tired.

[GRAHAM] So...uhm...what's your brother doing now?  

[DAHLIA] Uhm..He was five when
we first found out that he was sick.

We just thought it was a virus and

then a month later,
we were standing...standing in front of his grave.

[GRAHAM] I'm so sorry
[DAHLIA] It's okay, it's okay.

It's just hard, you know, he'll never

be able to fall in love with a girl or a boy,
or even figure out which one.

He'll never experience his first heartbreak and 

be able to have a family and raise kids of his own,

but it helps me not take anything for granted

because you never know when

one day will be your last, so...

you can't take anything for granted.

Every second leading up to this point in our lives

we were growing;

You were challenged not only by
the people in your life, but by yourself.

Every day, whether you notice it or not, 

you were loving yourself more and more

and eventually one day,

when you love yourself the way
that you deserve, you'll fly.


[♪ When I was younger

♪ I was a dreamer

♪ Sky was the limit for me

♪ But as I got older

♪ I started to figure

♪ It's just not that simple, you see

♪ Just 'cause you want it

♪ Don't mean you got it

♪ What if I don't measure up?

♪ Hard work is given

♪ But I hate to admit it

♪ Sometimes it comes down to luck

♪ Oh, I can feel anxiety, is creeping

♪ Oh, I'm awake when I should be sleeping

♪ I hear my heart beating

♪ Will I ever make it?

♪ I can't remember

♪ A thousand complimenters

♪ One critic drowns them all out

♪ I'm overthinking

♪ Feet worn and sinking

♪ How do I fight back the doubt?

♪ Oh, I can feel anxiety, is creeping

♪ Oh, I'm awake when I should be sleeping

♪ I hear my heart beating

♪ Will I ever make it?

♪What if I lose?

♪ What if I look like a fool?

♪ What would I do

♪ If the only thing that I've ever loved

♪ Turned out not to love me back?

♪ If I was reading

♪ I'd skip to the ending

♪ But life doesn't turn like a book

♪ Can't wait to see how

♪ All of this turns out

♪ Will I ever make it? ♪]

[ALICE] Why don't they teach us taxes in school?

Come in...

[GRAHAM] Are you busy?

[ALICE] Let me take a look at my very,
very busy schedule...

No, what's going on?

[GRAHAM] You remember how I told you

to tell Dahlia that
I was going home this weekend?

[ALICE] Yeah, what happened with that?

[GRAHAM] Okay. I've just been thinking a lot,
going through some shit, you know

and...uhm...I don't like Grace
as much as i thought I did.

[ALICE] Okay, have you told her that?

[GRAHAM] No, actually I'm gonna pick her up
this afternoon...uhm...to talk to her. 

[ALICE] Okay...uhm...I thought things were going well.

[GRAHAM] They are believe me, but...


Alice you you've been my best friend
since...for as long as i can remember.

You see me at my best and my worst and

I just, I never want to lose you.

[ALICE] Graham you're never going to lose me.

[GRAHAM] I know, I know. It's just
I'm scared because of the person I am.

[ALICE] Graham what's going on?

[GRAHAM] Alice...I'm, I'm...

I'm gay.

[ALICE] Graham you're my best friend,

I could never hate you,
especially not for something like this.

It's who you are.

All I want is for you to be happy,
you deserve to be you. I love you. .

[GRAHAM] I love you too, Alice.
[ALICE] Get off my room I'm gonna start crying.

[GRACE] Hey, thanks for picking me up.
[GRAHAM] Yeah of course.

[GRACE] What did you want to talk about?

[GRAHAM] Uhm...So i'm gonna be straight up with you.

You're a wonderful person but
I can't do this anymore,  

and it's something I've been battling with
on the inside my whole life

and especially over the past couple of months.

I like men the way I'm supposed to like women.
[GRACE] Ohh 

[GRAHAM] And I...I'm sorry for dragging you along
through all this. It's...it's been so much.

[GRACE] So the party meant nothing?
[GRAHAM] No, no, no. That was an incredible evening 

That was. I just...

You were kissing a different person...

A lost person who's trying to find themselves.

[GRACE] As much as this hurts I'm proud of you.

[GRAHAM] What...?

[GRACE] As much as anyone in my situation tries

there's nothing we can do to change it,
you nor I can change it.

Falling in love is one of those things
that makes life worth it.

Taking that away from somebody just because

the society tells them they're invalid, 
it's a waste.

A waste of a beautiful heart capable of doing so much.

Unfortunately, so many people live
their lives never fully as themselves.

They aren't happy, they marry the wrong person,
they live an unfulfilled life.

Graham I've only known you for a few months,
but from the moment I met you

I knew i wanted you to live
an exceptionally happy life

and even though I can't help you in that way

I really hope you keep me along for the ride.


[GRAHAM] Connor...
[CONNOR] Hey, Graham.

[DAHLIA] Uhm, Alice don't isn't there something
we should be doing?

[ALICE] Yeah, uhm...taxes, it's tax season.

[GRAHAM] Do you wanna go for a walk?
[CONNOR] Sure.

[GRAHAM] So what are you doing back here?

[CONNOR] I'm just here for Jess

and my week of my work gave me a week off so...

I just took advantage of it rolled with it.

[GRAHAM] How long are you back for?

[CONNOR] Until Tomorrow.

I'm heading back soon so.

[GRAHAM[ Well, how do you like the west coast?

[CONNOR] So much better honestly.

I found a job next to my apartment
so it's been pretty convenient, but...hum

...it's a lot warmer than here.

How are things with you?

[GRAHAM] Pretty good actually, I mean...
I've been busy.

A lot of change I guess.

[CONNOR] It looks like your knee is getting a lot better too.

You seem a lot happier too.
[GRAHAM] Yeah,

I finally started finding myself.

[GRAHAM] You know I never thanked you, Dahlia.

I never thanked you for helping me.
[DAHLIA] What did I help you with?

[GRAHAM] You cared for me, you guided me,

you helped pull me out
of this messy place I am in my head

You taught me that it's okay to be who I am and

that i deserve to be happy,

and for that, thank you.

[DAHLIA] I appreciate the gratitude but
I was only a small part.

You had it in yourself the whole time. 

I just saw it but I was waiting
for you to find it for yourself.

I love you, Graham.

You're a beautiful soul in a world that's now yours

Love is such a powerful gift that we get to have.

As people we deprive ourselves from this gift
so much that we end up living unhappy lives,

miserable with ourselves until
we're completely burnt out.

Then it's too late.

And for some of us we're still
trying to find out what love is.

Maybe love is about taking care of yourself:

your mind, your body, but especially, your heart.

Maybe love shows up when you realize that
the people who surround you

are full of love to give back.

Maybe love is about letting go of what destroys you

and learning that regret is just a black hole 
that nobody ever wants to encounter.

Maybe love is realizing that you don't deserve to.

We're all put on this earth with the ability
to take this love

and make it into anything we want.

At the end of the day, we're just people
with beautiful emotions,

all just trying to make our hearts fly.

[DARLING I DO by Zerox, Landon Pigg & Lucy Schwartz]

[♪ Golden leaves looked brown to me,

♪ The world had less color without you

♪ Shapes in the sky, looked plain to my eye,

♪ The world had less color without you

♪ I know pleny' of people with eyes closed

♪ They don't see you like I do
Darling I do

♪ Notes on the keys, meant nothing to me

♪ The world didn't sing without you

♪ Birds in the trees fell silent for me

♪ The world didn't sing without you

♪ Without you

♪ I know pleny' of people with eyes closed

♪ They don't see you like I do

♪ Darling I do, darling I do see you ♪]