Doubles Cause Troubles (1989) - full transcript

I'm going to be late!

Oh, come on! The engine's dead?

Move aside, be careful.

Move aside, you newbie!

What a waste of time and money!

You suck.
It'll be useless even if you pass.

Hey, why are you hiding?

How many times have I told you?

Watch your language.

Now you've embarrassed yourself.

Forgive her, she's just a child.



I'm going to be late!

Wait! Wait!

Thanks.

- What's wrong with you?
- Elevator's full!

I refuse to step out.
Anyone else volunteering to step out?

I would, but I'm dying here.

Get out!

Excuse me...

You got a parking ticket!

Crap.

Excuse me...

She's fast.

Of course,
she was a track champion in school.

Idiot! Don't you know how to drive?



Morning.

Morning.

I got beaten up last night.

What for?

Zhang claimed that
I was hitting on his sister,

so he punched my left eye.

Did you hit on his sister?

Of course not,
I was just hitting on his wife.

- Did you tell him that you work for me?
- Yes.

Then he punched me in my right eye. Look.

Fine. I'll take care of it!

You're not sick,
why are you in the hospital?

Well, I'm just trying
to see my dream girl.

Here she is...

Hey, Handsome.

You again.

Time to take your temperature.

In the mouth.

- Who's Miss Liang Shanbo?
- I am.

I'm Liu Zhipang, a lawyer.

Hospital patients are really something,
hiring lawyers to sue me?

I've got good news
and bad news to tell you.

Your grandma has passed away.

That's really bad news.

And she still owes me
the 10,000 I lent her last month.

I'm sorry,
but she has left something for you.

A luxurious flat about 700 sq. feet.

That's great!

But...

You only own 50% of the flat.

Half a flat?
Then what about the other half?

Goes to your cousin, Miss Zhu Yingtai.

I knew my grandma
always favored that little brat.

She fought with me for candies as a kid,
then fought with me for boyfriends,

and now we're fighting over a flat.

- She can't be as pretty as you are, right?
- Shut up.

I'm a hundred times prettier.

Your grandma knew that you'd fight,
so she included a clause.

What?

That you two must share the flat
together for at least a year,

before you could sell it.

What? I've to put up with her for a year?

I'd rather live with this guy.

- Good idea...
- Shut up.

Please sign here.

To show that you've been notified.

Drop by my office tomorrow
at 3:00 p.m. for the rest.

This is an injustice!

Right. I feel for you too!

Can't you feel anything?
I don't, you ask him.

Thanks, what's the name of this hospital?

Gangjing Hospital. Why?

I need to make a note
to never ever check in here.

YOUTH THEATER GROUP

Buy 20000 shares of HK Bank for me.

- Zhu Yingtai.
- Coming...

Sell all the Australia dollars

and keep an eye
on the Shaw shares this afternoon.

Hurry up!

What is it?

Let's do act four.

Xiaofeng committed suicide
by taking poison,

and Jiasheng has found out,

she's in agony...

Hey, you two!

Second wife, third wife, get ready!

Ready, action!

Alas, there is no hope...

for me and the Young Master!

Bravo, bravo.

I'll practise with you again in private.

Xiaofeng, don't die!

What the hell are you doing?

I couldn't stand it, it was ticklish!

- You can't even play dead?
- Rewind, rewind...

Give her real poison
when we're performing.

Next.

Liang Shanbo.

Here... I'm here.

Zhu Yingtai? I'm Liu Zhipang, a lawyer.

Don't be so smug. He came to me first.

Come here, everyone.

This is my business card.

Have some bananas.

Five for ten dollars, a good deal.

Come on!

Melons and strawberries for you all.

It's Zhu Yingtai's treat.

- Your granny passed away.
- What?

It's true.

She left a flat for you and your cousin.

You two need to live together for a year.

Live with her? Forget it!

Her will states that if one of you agrees,
and one disagrees,

then the flat
will go to the one who agrees.

Then I agree, for now.

Liang Shanbo, hands off the melons.

I'm not eating! I'm checking for bugs.

For the sake of everyone's health,
four-eyed frog.

Eat your banana, old hag.

Ladies, stop.

Meet me at my office tomorrow
at 3:00 p.m., all right?

Fine...

Miss Zhu... these are for you.

You again.

Will you stop giving me flowers?

I'm your fan, I must give you flowers.

Can't you give me cash?

Cash, cash...

They are lovely.

Not every girl can receive flowers often.

There are many lunatics in this world.

Always preying on easy women.

I wasn't talking about you.

- Pervert.
- Moron.

So you've read the whole thing?

Do I have to live with her?

Your granny and her nana's rule.

Wrong, my nana and her granny,
not the other way round.

Well, anyway, the will says that
you two must live together for a year.

Otherwise... the flat goes to charity.

Mr. Lawyer, come here.

Come...

Mr. Lawyer, she has murderous tendencies.

She poured dishwashing liquid
into my milk when I was four.

And she poured dishwashing liquid
into my soda when I was ten.

She couldn't afford
dishwashing liquid at 25,

so she put washing powder in my coffee.

She's crazy.

How can I live with her?

You're lying! I've not.

No tendency to kill?

I'm not even twenty five.

Come here.

It's fine that she's badmouthing me,
because she leads a messy life herself.

If she doesn't badmouth someone,
she won't feel at ease.

She's the first to lose her virginity
in high school.

- I liked high jumps!
- Right,

the guy waited for you to jump on him.

Also, she worked in a night club.

I was the accountant.

Doing the hostesses' taxes?

What's wrong with that?

Better than always visiting a doctor
who specializes in STDs.

I was his nurse.

Nurse or mistress?

Stop it, you two!

You two must sign this
within five minutes,

and get out of my face.

No matter what your choice is,
I don't want to see you again.

- You're so mean!
- You're so mean!

I beg you, miladies,
stop tormenting me, just sign it.

My signature is much bigger...

Move over.

Who's entering first?

Of course I am!

You? Forget it. Pay up. $300.

- Unbelievable.
- Is that all you could think about? Money?

Why don't you marry a bank?

Not bad, elegant.

My side is nicer than yours.

This is mine.

You again? We are sharing the bathroom?

Your room is terrible.

What's this room for?

It's locked.

Someone's staying here?

Ben's room.

Ben, I know a bunch of guys named Ben,
they're all ugly.

Right, in some foreign movie,

there was this
sleazy mouse king character,

he was named Ben too.

- Who's laughing with you?
- Who's laughing with you?

Ben.

- Hi.
- Sorry. Wrong place.

You're Ben?

I'm Mrs. Zhu's granddaughter.

The prettiest one.

Ignore her.

She got meningitis as a child,

and she always thinks that
she's the prettiest.

I'm Zhu Yingtai, pretty and sane.

Mrs. Zhu mentioned you.

Can I come in?

Sure...

I'm Mrs. Zhu's tenant.

I'm sorry about your loss.

Please don't bring it up again.

I had to lock myself up for seven days,
in order to stop crying.

She's my only relative in this world.

I couldn't accept the fact
that she's dead.

I can't cry, I must be strong.

Can I borrow your shoulder?

I'm moving out in a few days.

No problem, I don't need you to move out.

That's right... I don't want you to go.

I can smell my nana on you.

What are you talking about?

What do you know?

Excuse me,
I need to make a call in my room.

- I warn you, he's mine.
- I warn you, he's mine.

- I'll fight you if you dare.
- I'll fight you if you dare.

Mom, I'm Ben.

I have no time to go home for soup.
I know...

I love the watercress soup you make.

Also the borscht,
and sweet and sour soup...

Viper, I'm Ben.

So? Finally... news of you.

It's me you're after,
why did you kill my two friends?

They thought they were being loyal,
so I let them die heroically.

You're next.

Sure, let's meet and talk.

Fine, tonight at ten.

I'll meet you
at the Clubhouse swimming pool.

All right, mom.

I'll come home some time, bye.

So many kinds of soup!

We heard that... No...

I guess you like drinking soup.

Yes! These are all very yummy.

Watercress soup, borscht,
sweet and sour soup,

the chicken mushroom soup

and the fish soup are almost ready.

We made them ourselves.

What am I, a soup addict?

No, you're single,
it's good for you to drink more soup.

Right.

But I have to go out now.

I'll finish them all when I get back.

- You swear?
- You swear?

Sure.

- Bye.
- Bye.

- Delivery.
- What?

Chicken mushroom soup and fish soup.

I've just sent you the borscht,
watercress soup,

and sweet and sour soup, remember?

- Come on, it's a pretty lie.
- Come on, it's a pretty lie.

Ben.

Viper.

There was never any treasure
on the boat,

you were misinformed.

Would you risk it for
a hundred odd thousand?

Believe it or not, I was scammed too.

I went into hiding
because of some misunderstanding.

Where's the Shantung Woman and Liang?

Where you can't see them.

You are doomed.

It's just a matter of a quick death
or a slow one.

Viper, let me live.

I'll pay you.

Tell me, where are you hiding
the national treasure?

National treasure?

Put your hands behind your neck.

Don't try to stall.

No one's here to save you.

It's in the safe deposit.

Damn! After him.

Wow! What a pretty nightgown!

So different from the ones
you see at street markets.

I'm not arguing with you tonight.

So pointless.

A sudden change of character?
Hiding a weapon now?

We're cousins after all.

And you're my only family now.

How can I be sure? You might be adopted.

Forget it! Come here...

I made some ginseng tea.

After this drink, we'll make up.

Better be careful, you drink this.

Fine.

- What are you laughing at?
- Nothing.

Just picturing you

going out with two cups
stuck in your hands.

This is the extra-strength glue
advertised on TV.

You bitch!

You can't hit me.

I'll kill you.

Lock you up.

I'm taking a shower and then
dress up a bit.

We'll see who Ben will pick later.

Who is it?

Hi, honey!

- Hi, future sister-in-law.
- How did you find me?

I'm Handsome.
I have a large network of underlings.

My sources are more reliable
than those of CIA's.

For sure.

The note you gave me was fake, pal.

What did you say? I don't know you.

There's a "sample"
on the note you gave me.

You don't know me?

The doorman works for you too?

If you won't go,
I'm going to squash you with the door.

I can't wait.

I'm useless, just squash me to death.

But I'm the one getting squashed here,
boss.

What now?

Can't you do this for your sister-in-law?

- Certainly.
- In fact, I know that you've moved.

So I'm sending you a washing machine.

Now, that's very sweet of you.
Where is it?

Just call this number.

The electrical shop?

No, his house number.

Call this number three times a week,
he will come over and do your laundry.

Me again? Give me a break.

What are these two guys doing here?

They know that I've just moved in,
and sent me a bouquet.

Let me put these in a vase, have a seat.

Let's watch some TV.

- It's the women's volleyball match!
- Really?

Thanks.

Let go!

I just stepped out for a second!

I know! Couldn't behave himself.

I meant you!

Did she take advantage of you?

No, I'm waiting for you to.

Let's go out and eat.

There's a good place round the corner.

They said they won't serve us
until we pay our tab.

After all these beatings,
he had gone nuts.

He's always confused!

I don't want to go out.

Go and buy twenty or so hairy crabs
and I'll eat here.

They are very expensive.

Shut up. Very well, we will go.

You prepare the vinegar, wine,
ginger sauce or whatever.

- I'm taking a shower.
- Me first.

In your dreams!

All right.

Hey! Give my glasses back.

Here you go.

Where are your glasses then?

They fell.

You're minus 18.0 diopters nearsighted,
forget about fighting over a guy with me!

Come out!

I'm already enjoying my bath!

You honestly think you'll win?
Shower away!

Ben, coming. I'm coming.

Are you drunk? Why are you walking funny?

Stop being so aggressive, we've just met.

Don't. Oh, no!

It tickles... Ben.

I...

5.6, 2.8, 16...

That's wrong. I'm 35-24-36.

Stop! It tickles.

If you're not happy with my figure,
why are you on top of me?

Ben... what's going on?

Blood.

Zhu Yingtai, I'll kill you!

You're wicked!

You killed him so that no one wins?

You're nuts!

He died soon after he walked in.

He was all bloody and mumbly.

What should we do?

The police?

- You called them?
- No.

- Hairy crabs!
- Hairy crabs!

First grade hairy crabs.

Where's Miss Liang?

It's me! Can't you tell?

He molested me.

I'll deal with it.

Stop staring at me!

He looks dead.

You killed him!

Are you setting me up?

He's been dead for a while. Who's he?

My flatmate.
Forget it! Doesn't matter who killed him,

let's call the cops.

No! You'll be in trouble
if you call the cops.

But what then?
He died soon after he came back.

Fell on top of me, covered in blood.

What should we do?

Xiaoyang, have I been treating you well?

Yes.

Then you turn yourself in.

Take the fall and I'll give you
36 dollars a month.

You're so stingy.

Even the Social Welfare Department
would dole out more.

Then what?

It's so late. Let's get rid of the corpse,
throw it into a dumpster.

Since when have you become so smart?

How could I go out like this?

You're lucky.
I have soap that could wash it off.

Mommy! Look!

There's blood on my head.

What's the matter with you?

You'd know better than going out
with your hemorrhoids.

I'll be after you
if my son won't grow tall!

What has that got to do...

I can't believe this! So bloody.

That's right.

Hurry.

Ladies.

Are you living here?

We've just moved in today.

Is there a Ben Liang here?

- Yes.
- Yes.

Is he home?

Dunno.

He is a rogue cop.

We suspect that he's linked
to several crimes.

We need to locate him.

We heard he stays here.

And who are they?

Her boyfriends.

We're just admiring the moon, officer.

What the heck? I've no luck at all.

I haven't won anything, what's that?

A troubled youth committed suicide.

We just headed out and heard a loud noise.

Then I looked down.

And I saw someone fell down. That's it.

- Do you know how he fell?
- Not sure.

Me neither.

Everything's OK.

Ladies, please wait.

What is it?

I'm Inspector Xu Shuzhen.

Did the deceased act any differently
before he left the flat?

He told his mom
that he'd like to have soup.

Soup? Anything else?

We know that the deceased was connected
to the ruthless mainland gangsters.

You must be careful.

Stay in touch with the police
if you need anything.

We will, don't worry.

Someone will take your statements later.

- Reporting, madam.
- What is it?

Don't ever trust female cops.

They seduce you with lies.
Come on, let's go back up.

I'm really scared.

Boss, she's bad news,
don't get yourself involved.

You pick it up.

- Hello.
- Where's Ben?

He fell off the building.

Tell him don't bother to hide anymore.

If he doesn't hand the stuff out,
I'll turn him into pâté.

Hello.

Who's that?

Someone told Ben to hand out the stuff,
or would turn him into pâté.

Keep the sword straight, pull back.

In order to survive,
we must use our brains.

- Ben's dead.
- Yes.

There's a mysterious call
telling him to hand out the stuff.

Yes.

But there was nothing on him when he died.

That's true.

Let me think.

After my analysis, I've a conclusion.

- What?
- That we are entirely clueless now.

You suck.

Do you think Ben hid
something very important,

that no one could find it?

I'm impressed!

Your brain works finally!
Here's your reward.

A pawn ticket?

Use your brain! You're so stupid!

We've turned his room upside down,
and couldn't even find a dime.

Says who? I found two dollars.

It's mine! I marked it.

You did? Seriously?

Excuse me, are you Miss Zhu or Miss Liang?

I'm Zhu Yingtai.

Just remember I'm the prettier one.

I'm Sam, Ben's younger brother.

Who? Oh, it's you.

Aren't you that nurse?

Who's he?

I'm Sam, Ben's younger brother.

I heard on the news that he's dead.

- That's right.
- Are you a fake?

He's got a picture.

We're sorry about Ben's death.

He's always been very secretive,
and wouldn't tell me much.

I just want to find out more.

We've only met him for a few hours.

Can I come in
and take a look at his room?

- No.
- Who are you?

You don't know me?

Pay attention.

I'm famous all over Kowloon,
and Ap Lei Chau.

I get beat up... No, never.

I only beat up others... I'm Handsome.

And I'm his sidekick fly.

Step back!

Brother Handsome and Brother Fly.
What an honour.

At least you are polite,
it keeps you safe when you're in my turf.

- Can I come in now?
- Not yet.

- What are you doing?
- It's a mess, we can't let him go in.

- What now?
- I have an idea.

We're starving,
but we couldn't leave you on your own.

Let's go out to eat and come back later.

Sure, my treat.

Where are we going to eat?

Forget it! Clean up the room.

- I'll bring something back for you.
- OK.

- What do you do?
- I'm in the oil business.

- Sesame oil?
- Petroleum.

Don't you feel suffocated?

The air-conditioner is too strong here.

What would you like to order?

Do I look like
someone interested in set meals?

I grew up eating all the delicacies
from land and sea.

Abalone, shark's fin soup...

Whatever you suggest.

- Hey, it's not your money.
- What do you think?

No problem.

Thanks for your help,
and letting me stay in brother's room.

I should be treating you.

Enjoy your dinner.

You're so nice.

Help comes with a price,
five thousand a day, at least seven days.

Stop babbling!
How can you ask him for so much money?

What? I'm doing this for his safety.

It's a guarantee
that he won't get beaten up.

Here's a tip for you.

In a restaurant,
it's always safe to sit near the wall,

facing the entrance, like me.

It prevents surprise attacks.

Handsome, I've been
looking for you everywhere!

You should definitely know why!

We meet again!

Pal.

Brother Quan,
I've been meaning to call you.

I really wanted to.

Pay up! A hundred twenty four thousand
and eight hundred.

I don't know him, never met him before.

If you don't pay today,
I'll break your legs and your arms! Go!

Don't!

Hold on, pal. Why are you doing this?

I owe him money.
You have any? Pay him back for me!

I'll pay you back on April Fools' Day.

- Mind your own business.
- What are you doing?

Beat him up!

What? You're killing him!

Stop it.

You bitch.

Stop it...

Stop it.

Stop it, let's go.

You bastards.

Stay here!

What if we do stay?

Stay and we can have dinner together?

Beat him up!

Hello!

Hello, Cangying. Have you finished?

Not yet, it's such a mess.

Then I'll take him to the disco first.
Hurry up.

"A broken camera and a negative."

Home so soon?

You're back?

Don't come close.

- What do you know?
- Nothing at all.

We tried looking. Guessing. Poking around.

And suddenly I'm getting beaten up!

Search him!

A pawn ticket.

For a camera.

Get it back and see
if there are any other clues.

Right, you get it back. I'm off, bye.

Stop it!

When are they coming back?

They won't be back so soon,
they've gone to the disco.

What a crowd!

Sit down. Come... sit beside me.

What would you like to drink?

I get free drinks in all the discos.

What would you like to drink?

Vodka Lime.

Snowball.

You're having a drink?

My mom said girls shouldn't drink.

Alcohol impairs judgment,
you might regret afterwards.

Do you have milk here?

Yes, good idea. You need that.

What? I've got breasts.

Right, if you say so.

Like a landing strip!

You wanna die?

I'm fast!

Quickly, get the drinks then!

I'll get the drinks.

I don't know how.

Let's dance!

Do you believe
in love at first sight, miss?

Why are you asking me?

Because it just happened between us.

Crazy! I don't know you.

He's hitting on me.

Leave the lady alone, will you?

Well you can't blame him.

If you act decently
and lady-like, the way I am now,

do you think he would approach you?

Thanks, wingman!

I'm the butterfly, you're the flower.

I'm the firefly, you're the fire.

I'm the wallet, you're money.

I'm money, you're toilet paper.

Wrong.

If I were toilet paper, you're excrement.

Ladies and gentlemen,
it's time for our game hour.

Tonight, we have the balloon dance.

Make sure the balloon won't drop
before the music ends.

Our judges will decide
which couple has the best moves.

They will choose the winners.

Let's go!

You can't dance with both of them,
let me help you, ok?

Sure!

You two are a good match.

You're a better match with Handsome.

Too bad he isn't here.

Speak of the devil.

Who told you to come back? Get lost.

Let's go.

How could you?

The balloon burst.

Boss, the pawn ticket is for a camera.

Anything else?

I took the negative to develop.

Get to work!

How could he pick the old prune over me?

I'm prettier, sexier and all.

Hey! What's the matter with you?

One at a time!

Go line up outside!

What was that?

All right, after you.

Where's the stuff? Tell me.

Is it safe?

You're so pretty,
you wouldn't want me to slash your face?

No...

Then be more cooperative.

Of course.

With pleasure.

Full cooperation. Full obedience.

Go!

Miss, rejecting me would be your loss.

Oh, really?

Brother, you need a shield.

Could have given me earlier.

Women are so unpredictable!

Hey, pretty lady,
starting to appreciate me?

Move away.

What? You know who I am?

Beat it, fatso.

I am the Chicken King.

I'm invincible down there.
I'm like a roly-poly toy.

Mr. roly-poly toy,
please get me out of here.

- Where to?
- Anywhere.

I live nearby.

Whatever, hurry.

Where are they going?

Who cares, they won't get lost.

Man, you guys are ugly.

Don't you feel self-conscious
in a place like this?

The fish swims into the net.

Big mouth.

He pushed me.

Beat him up.

Make yourself at home.

Let me wear my slippers.

Do you need to slip in
something more comfy?

No, thanks.

Don't be shy.

Honey, which outfit?

Outfit?

I thought that's just a pair of stockings.

No problem.

In such a romantic evening,
let us listen to my favourite song.

- Tea?
- Sure.

- Cake?
- No, thanks.

No?

Ace. Where's the Spanish Fly
that I told you to order?

Underneath the table.

SPANISH FLY

- Is there a back door around here?
- Yes, I haven't opened it yet.

It's a joke by Wong Jing. Have you heard?

He's a famous director.

What's that?

A new type of soda, it's all like this.

Drink it while it's hot.

Come on...

Who is it?

Ignore that, you're so handsome.

Really? Many women said that.

My mother, my aunt...
and the bank teller mama.

Sorry? What was that?

My bank teller's mama.

Can we kiss now?

Close your eyes, or you'll have a shock.

That felt good!
First kiss from a woman with perky lips.

You enjoy yourself!

How did you suddenly become so fat?

Let go! Stop messing around.

Let me go!

I underestimated that fatso.

Don't you know who I am?

I'm an eight-time karate champion
in Hong Kong.

Leave my girl alone.

What are you talking about?

What am I talking about?

Oh, nothing, I was kidding.

Just ignore me.

It's my fault.

Lord Buddha... please make sure that
my cousin, Handsome and Cangying...

are distracted by other affairs.

And also make sure that
Sam and I get to spend the night together,

and I'll have my chance
with this eligible bachelor.

- I'm so frightened!
- What's the matter?

The thunder.

But it's been like that for a while.

Well, I have slow reflexes.

I can't sleep when there's a thunderstorm.

But I'm not a sleeping pill either,
how can I even help?

When I had trouble sleeping as a kid,

my dad would hug me and kiss me,

and read me a story until I fall asleep.

- OK, I've got an idea.
- My room.

Hold on, give me your dad's phone number,
how can I find him otherwise?

He's dead.

Can't you pretend you're him?

All right, I know!

I'll drink with you.
You'll sleep better after some drinks.

I can't drink, just a little will do.

You're naughty.

You know I'll let my guard down
after a few drinks,

I'll turn into a wild slut,

and I won't remember
what happens on the next day.

You're taking advantage of me.

Then I'll drink alone.

Think I don't know that
you're getting drunk on your own,

in order to give yourself an excuse,

to have your way with us women.

I'm not that stupid.

I'm getting dizzy!

Mister, don't even think about
taking advantage of me when I pass out.

Wow, I'm really passing out.

Women are so troublesome.

All landscape pictures,
are you mocking me?

I don't know, I gave you the pawn ticket.

I've told you everything I know.

Boss, he's not taking us seriously.

Help!

Trying to scam us?

Help me, boss!

I can't take it anymore!

Do you know where the stuff is?

I don't know, I don't know anything.

Help, boss.

I think he really doesn't know.

Then we have no other choice.

I don't know,
I don't want to play with you.

You play with Cangying.

I'll talk, I'll talk!

I was adopted.

My father sells pork in the market.

At thirteen I peeped at some woman
taking a shower.

I was forced to join the triad at fifteen.

I'm a fake triad member.

I only have 229 dollars
in my savings account.

I'm 5'10", 2" long, weigh 156 pounds.

I kept telling everyone
that I'm twenty five,

in fact I'm the same age as Alan Tam.

I've told you everything,
don't cut me in half.

You said we must be
loyal to each other, boss.

You should be loyal to me,
but I don't have to be loyal to you!

Enough with the bullshit,
where's the national treasure?

I honestly don't know.

I thought Ben hid lots of money,
but I couldn't find anything.

Boss, I think we should
work on the two women.

They aren't of much help.

Just dig two holes and bury them.

Please, we are very forgetful.

We'll forget everything in a blink.

Come on, blink.

Where are we?

Right, where are we?

You three look familiar.

Not at all! Never met them in our lives!

Why would they be familiar?

You take us as fools?

I know how to delete your memory.

Boss, in Gu Long's novels,
only the dead would forget everything.

I didn't say a word.

Listen, close your eyes.

You're falling asleep...

You're not Handsome, you're a dog.

Your name is Dolly,
you'll forget everything when you wake up.

Sam...

Why are you calling my Sam?

What are you talking about?
Please be more specific.

Look at me,
can't you guess what happened last night?

Were you with Handsome?

Shut up!

Would I be associated
with someone as low grade as him?

You've been with worse.

Won't be surprised
if you're sleeping with Cangying.

You've insulted me and Sam.

I'm going to tell him.

What does this have to do with him?

There was a thunderstorm last night,

Sam and I... all alone...

caught in the flames of passion,

at the spur of the moment...
Guess what happened?

What happened?

I can't say it out loud.

You know better.

You passed out drunk last night,

the police called me
to pick up Zhu Yingtai.

- And I did.
- That's right.

After giving my statement
at the police station,

we went for breakfast,

then we walked in the park.

We lost each other
when we played hide and seek.

You're so heartless.

I was so nice to you,
how could you have breakfast with her?

We can have afternoon tea then.

I hate both of you!

What's that noise?

What now?

What?

What on earth?

You honestly think you're a dog?

Have you two gone crazy?

Looks like they've been hypnotised.

Hypnotised?

Handsome acts like a dog,
and Cangying like a chicken.

What should we do now?

I know a little hypnotism,
let me try to wake them up.

Hello.

I'm Inspector Xu,
is this Liang Shanbo or Zhu Yingtai?

Zhu Yingtai.

You're in grave danger.

You and Miss Liang,

come and meet me
at the Tsim Sha Tsui police station.

- Inspector Xu.
- Call me Maria.

My ID's messed up because I left it
in the washing machine by mistake.

What do you want to drink?

It's OK. What is it that you
want to talk to us about?

Is there a young man living with you?

Yes, his name is Sam.

Ben's younger brother. How did you know?

The police have been
protecting you in the dark.

Protecting us?

There's a big woman
who almost caught me last night.

I know.

Ben's killers are after you.

You mentioned the big woman
and a flamboyant guy.

Are they these two?

Yes, that's them.

They are the Mainland gangsters,
absolute ruthless murderers.

Then we're in serious danger?

- But there's one more pressing issue.
- Which is?

Ben has no brother, he's an only child.

It can't be.

Why would Sam fake this?

That's right. For money.

Ben and four Mainland gangsters

robbed a smuggler boat
on international waters.

The boat carried
a Taiwanese national treasure

and some cash.

One of them died,
and Ben wanted the whole share himself,

so he got killed.

Ben and Sam's family run an oil business,
why would they rob?

Ben has no family,
he was on the police force before.

And was suspended
after investigation by ICAC.

Not only that he has no petrol,
he has no soy sauce either.

Thank goodness last night I didn't...

Now you speak the truth.

Then who's Sam?

I have no idea.

But you two better pretend
you don't know anything,

see what he's up to next.

Call me anytime.

Wait.

What if Sam's a bad guy?

I doubt it.

Then why did he lie?

Maybe he has his reasons.

Do you remember when we were little,
we fought all the time.

Mom punished us by making us
stand still and face each other.

But we continued with our eyes!

Of course! I was really good at that.

Not bad, you still remember
the code for "slut"?

You calling me a slut?

You calling me a cow?

Ok, that's enough.

I was trying to say,

when we can't talk, we'll make faces

so it'll be a secret communication method
only the two of us can understand.

Shanbo.

What are you doing?

I've placed newspaper in the room.

- I'm all right now.
- Don't touch me.

I'll send you to the vet for euthanasia.

Don't worry, I woke them up.

But they have no memories
of what happened before.

We need to talk in the room.

Just ask him why he lied to us.

You go ahead.
I can't say anything when I look at him.

Well, someone has to ask.

Why are you in my room?

You told me to come in.

Can I come in?

Looks like you've something to discuss?

No.

No? Why so discreet?

Miss Zhu, you're more sincere. Tell me.

I...

I'm sincere too.

Let me ask you,
why do you pretend to be Ben's brother?

He has no brother.

- That's right.
- Why did you lie?

- Who told you that?
- Doesn't matter. Why did you lie?

Don't come over.

I'm not Ben's brother,

I'm an ICAC investigator.

What's going on? What's going on?

Who told you to come in? Get out.

Who told you to come in? Get out.

- Me too?
- Yes.

I've been lying to you,
because Ben was a corrupted cop.

I suspect that
he still has accomplices in the force.

They are a large group
of corrupted officers,

that's why I couldn't reveal my identity.

- We've blamed you wrongly.
- We've blamed you wrongly.

But I hope that
you could keep this to yourselves.

Don't worry, I sure can keep a secret.

When my dad cheated on my mom,
when I accompanied May to her abortion,

and I didn't tell anyone
that Chen Xiaoming's gay.

Me neither.
Like Anna had a plastic surgery,

Paula had breast implants...
and Mui has a mouth full of fake teeth.

Fine. I trust that
you can indeed keep a secret.

Right?

I'm glad it's all cleared up now.

And I can focus on the play from now on.

Why? Why is fate so cruel to me?

Why me? Haven't I suffered enough?

You little whore.

Useless thing.

Second Madam, Third Madam.

I'm begging you, let me live.

Let you live? Sure.

- You hit me?
- What if I do?

I'll poison you
so that you can't speak again!

Help!

No one will help you.

Kneel.

I'll beat the crap out of you.

Keep going! Harder!

- Continue.
- My female lead will be beaten to death.

No! You two, stop them!

Stop.

Stay out of this,
or we'll beat you up as well.

We didn't see anything...

Stop running.

You're dead.

Let me speak of what you've done.

You low, despicable woman!

You seduced the director.

Then you stole my role!

You slut!

You flirt with whoever and whenever.

And you've spread lies about me!

I can't take this anymore.

Here I am.

Stop! Shut up, you two!

Enough with your nonsense!

Stop being so vicious.

I could fire you in an instant.
This is unbelievable!

Lecturing me
And standing up for the whore?

You've been screwing around enough

Cheap and despicable

Karma is a bitch!

I must hit you!

Stop!

Hit him!

Hey, I told you guys to clap!

So it was your men who threw eggs at us!

It was a misunderstanding!

Cangying, what were you doing?

I went to the loo. Hey you, applaud!

I still love you no matter what happens.

Shut up!

What now?

Miss Liang, your call.

- Hello.
- Miss Liang? I'm Inspector Xu.

I called your home, but no one picked up.

Zhu Yingtai has gone home, what is it?

You said that Sam is ICAC's investigator.

I've looked into it.
There's no one in ICAC by that name.

Are you sure?

Theoretically, cops can't lie.

- But realistically?
- I've a letter for you.

There's a copy of the letter from ICAC.

You must be extra careful from now on.

Don't alert him.

I won't arrest him yet,
but I'll protect you in the dark.

Protect us in the dark?
Can't you protect us openly? I'm scared.

Don't worry. Call me anytime.

Of course you're not worried,
you're not the one who needs protection.

How can I know
you're not sleeping on the job?

Don't worry, Miss Liang.

At this point,
I must reveal my true identity.

You're a cop?

No.

I'm the VP of the Hong Kong Branch
of International Special Task Force

in Hunting Down
and Castrating Sex Offenders,

also anti-assault instructor, Zhu Huo Ji.

So you are?

An anti-assault expert.

I know what you need now.

I'm the VP of the Hong Kong Branch of...

In brief?

Hunt and castration team.

What's this?

Stun gun and alarm.

Push once for alarm.

Push twice to stun someone.

And pepper spray,

being sprayed by this
leads to temporary sight loss.

So unlucky,
taking a taxi with a flat tire.

Sam...

Sorry.

I didn't know you'd be home so soon.

You just went out?

No, the tap's broken,
I went out to get a repairman.

But they're all off.

I've just come back.

You startled me, go and have a shower.

Are you scared when
you're out here on your own?

Yes, I'm left alone out here.

Scream if something happens.

I'll be right out.

What is it?

Oh, you're still dressed.

Know the story The Boy Who Cried Wolf?

I'll be more scared if I don't see you.

But I need to take a shower.

In that case,
I'll leave the door open, ok?

That's a terrible sight.

It's up to you if you want to look.

What's the matter with you?
Who would take a shower like that?

Why not?

It's the same when I was in the army,
that way I can wash my clothes together.

I don't believe you. You're such a liar.

So? You want to hear something honest?

What?

I want to kiss you.

No.

Turn off the tap.

I don't want to catch a cold.

What are you doing?

I told him to fix the tap, just finished.

Come out!

What is it?

What's wrong?

I'm warning you! Stay away from him.

It's fair play!

He lied to us again.

Who knows whether he's lying to you or me?

He's not with ICAC,
there's no one by that name.

I know you're jealous.

Because he likes me more.

That's why you're saying this on purpose.

Am I that low?

Even lower.

I don't want to argue with you.

If you're still my cousin,
read this letter.

It's from Inspector Xu.

He's a bad guy?

Viper.

Finally you're here, ladies' man.

I think you should give up.

You've spent so much time,
and still couldn't convince those two

to tell you
where the national treasure is.

You suck at your job.

They don't know where it is.

They don't?

Or you want to keep all for yourself?

Sorry?

I'm running out of patience.

Fine! We'll do this the tough way.

We'll see whether the girls can stand
having all their nails pulled out!

Listen, Viper.

Say no more, it's too late now.

I've sent Shantung Woman after them.

No wonder you lured me out here.

You're low.

I'm a thief, not a paragon of virtue.

Buddy, you wouldn't want
a bullet in your head.

Just kneel.

If we find the national treasure,
you'll get a tiny share.

Hurry.

On your knees.

Stop running!

Forget it, Sam.

It's too late for you to go back!

Miss, the owner of
the flat below complained

a leakage from your water pipes.

Are you serious?

Can I come in?

Sure.

Hey, pretty girl! Come with me.

- Let me grab my purse.
- Me too.

Hurry! You stay.

Push once or twice?

What's that noise?

It's not worth
losing my virginity this way.

- Where are we going?
- Zhao Sawmill.

Where is it?

- I thought you knew.
- I thought you knew.

How would I know?

I was hypnotised, how could I remember?

Then how do we save them?

Fine, there's only one way.

I'll hypnotize you two,

after turning chicken and dog again
you'll know the way.

Pretty girls, behave yourselves,
and I'll take you home.

Help!

Bumped me? Four-eyed old hag.

What? You big-breasted ditzy bitch.

Hag! Bitch!

Leave them for now.

Catch Sam!

Then we torture them until they talk.

Yes, boss.

Dolly, where is it? Where?

Tell me.

Your personality remains unchanged.

Still a crook even as a dog.

Hey, where are they hiding?

Hey.

Hey, take me there.

Tell me, where are the girls?

In here.

Why am I always so unlucky?

Stop wasting your time.

Sam, the stuff, you must know where it is.

Believe it or not, I don't.

The only clue was the pawn ticket,
and you took the negative.

There's nothing there at all!

Go and ask Ben then.

Sam, who are you really?

He's a gigolo
who hangs out in Tsim Sha Tsui.

He's an expert in getting
financial support from women.

Sam, I still love you.

At least you excel in what you do.

Hey! Over here.

Forget about romance! You're about to die.

You honestly think that will kill us?

What about 5000W of electricity?

Where is it? Speak up.

What do you mean?

Why are you doing this?

We really don't know.

Ben didn't give us anything,
nor said anything.

He died soon after he walked in.

How do I know?

We didn't kill him.

I didn't kill him.

You doubt us, boss?

That night we split up,

and you claimed
you couldn't catch up with him.

When we got there, he's gone.

Sounds suspicious.

I'm just telling the truth.

You little bitch.

I think something's wrong.

Stop this.

You stop this.

What? A mutiny?

We risked our lives for you,
yet you don't believe us?

Fine, I quit.

Go to hell.

Did Ben have any last words? Tell us.

- Yes, he did.
- Don't tell him.

If you won't kill me and Sam,
I'll tell you.

We have nothing against you,

I promise we won't kill you.

He said 11, 5.6, 2.8,

16. I don't know.

That's all I heard!

Why didn't you say this sooner?

Those are camera aperture ranges.

We were so close.

Camera aperture?
Why didn't you say sooner?

I did it for you.

Or I wouldn't say anything.

You said you won't kill us.

I won't, but the candle sure will.

All right, let's go look for the camera.

Wake the fat boss.

Fatty! Fatty!

Get some water.

Can you do it?

My sworn enemy is here.

- What are you doing?
- Telling him to blow out the candle.

Happy birthday to you...

Untie me, I'll go after them.

Sam.

Hey, you saw that?

What the hell? I told you to bite
the rope, not to kiss me.

Stay here!

You, aren't you...

You shot him! And shot me too?

Cangying, Cangying...

How did this happen?

Avenge me.

Cangying...

though I've bullied you
all these years, I'll avenge you.

Cangying...

Cangying...

Handsome.

Who killed him?

I don't know.

The person's wearing grey pants,
black shoes.

Seemed like Cangying knew him.

I didn't see his face.

It must be Sam! That bastard!

What happened?

Call the ambulance!

Do you have to raise your voice?

Can't I raise my voice for a change?

Handsome, what are you doing?

I'm going to kill Sam, for Cangying.

Wait.

11, 5.6, 2.8, 16.

A stamp.

I saw this movie where

the characters used all their savings
and bought several expensive stamps.

They placed the stamps on an envelope,
and no one noticed.

What should we do?

Get a stamp expert to evaluate its worth.

Let's go!

Sam, come out! Let's settle this.

Don't, he has a gun.

A camera.

Why am I always so unlucky?

A piece of jade.

It's tiny, it can't be worth much.

Look, there are inscriptions!

"When the holy
Bodhisattva Avalokitesvara had

attained Enlightenment,

he realized that
visible form is only an illusion."

What kinda mumbo-jumbo is that?

That's the Heart Sutra.

An artist from the Ming Dynasty
took twenty years to inscribe these,

he died right after he completed it.

It's a priceless treasure.

Right, now that I recall,

Ben was indeed mumbling his last words.

I didn't know what was he talking about...

It's a...

National treasure. Hand it to me.

In your dreams. You murdered Cangying!

That's right.

- But I didn't!
- You didn't?

Handsome, calm down...

In fact, I'm not...

Sam...

Shut up!

Tie him up!

Over there...

What's this?

Membership fee for the theatre group.

- Give it to me.
- What for?

The jade is tiny,
it'd be safer to keep it here.

What now?

I'll go back to the hospital,
this flat is not safe.

Anyone could come in and out.

I'll wait for Inspector Xu
at the hospital.

- It's safer.
- I'll go with you.

What about me?

You stay here and keep an eye on him.

Wait for the police to get here,
understand?

How much is this worth?

Where did you get this stamp from?

Just tell us how much it's worth.

I guess it's around... fifty...

Fifty thousand? That's all?

Sorry.

I meant fifty dollars.

Why aren't they here yet?

Listen, Handsome.

Shut up, I haven't been a triad boss
for a long time.

You killed Cangying! A life for a life.

Why are you saying that? You're scared.

You must be crazy! Me? Scared?

I'm very calm.

Really?

Phone call for you!

Have you calmed down yet?

Of course.

If you're such good buddies with Cangying,
how about joining him?

Not at all, we're just acquaintances.

Only now I know how it feels
to be scared shitless.

Can't let anyone see me like this.

Or else...
my reputation is going down the drain.

Sorry, buddy. This isn't your lucky day.

Where are the girls?

Do I have to jump into the sea?

Why am I so unlucky?

You've called the police, don't worry.

The bad guys don't know you're here.

That's right, don't worry.

Help out and check what the patients need.

We're short of staff.

I'll check on room seven
and you'll go to room four.

Me?

Mister...

My dear, what a surprise!

You?

What are you doing here?

Getting my appendix out.

What do you need?

I need to... pee...

Wow!

How come it's there?

What appendix?
He's getting a circumcision.

I'm having a plastic surgery,
when do we hit the disco?

Sicko.

Miss Zhu, where's Liang Shanbo?

Don't try anything funny.

Where are the girls? Speak up.

I don't know.

I'll help you by checking
the ladies' room.

If you can't find them,
you'll end up like that dead bitch.

Please, don't, sister. I meant, brother.

Shanbo, run!

I'm here.

No one's after me?

You...

Inspector Xu.

It's fine now.

I should've gotten here sooner,
where's Miss Liang?

Are you all right, Yingtai?

I'm fine, Inspector Xu arrived in time.

Say no more.

It's too dangerous here,
where's the national treasure?

It's in a safe place,
let's go to the station first.

Sure...

Put down your hands.

- What's going on?
- You rat.

What are you doing?

Freeze.

Don't shoot,
we don't know if there are others.

Tie him up, the police will be here soon.

Let's go.

Go.

See? Karma's a bitch.

Right, why aren't we waiting
for the other cops?

The superintendent wants to see you.

Let me help you.

Inspector Xu, good thing that you're here,

or we'd be dead.

You girls are lucky!

Luckier than Cangying.

I'm sorry about Cangying.

I've never told her about his death,

so how could she know? Could she...?

Tell you what, the jade is filled with

inscriptions of the Heart Sutra,
a national treasure.

She has doubts,
she's got the murderer's shoes, run!

Why stop?

Have you heard the new single
by Chow Yun Fat?

He sings very well.

For safety's sake, hand me the jade first.

It's in my pocket,

I hid it well,
it's hard to get it out.

Just hand it over.

Why should I?

Unless you aren't a real cop!

Run! She's the real murderer! Run!

Run!

- Police! Help me!
- What's going on?

Help!

Stop!

Stay here. Sit tight.

Come out! I know where you're hiding.

Come on.

Come out.

What?

Have you seen anyone vomit
like this before?

Go!

Don't.

I'm gonna beat you to death.

Cousin...

No matter where you are, don't come out.

Fine, I'll count to three.

If I don't see you, I'll cut off

her left arm, right arm,
left leg, right leg.

Then I'll gouge out her eyes.

Just ignore her! She's bluffing.

Bluffing?

Are you coming out or not? One, two...

Stop! I'm right here.

What are you doing?

Either you come out sooner,
or don't come out at all.

I hate your guts, but you're my cousin.

How touching. Where's the jade?

I threw it into a mailbox.

What? It's true.

I put the jade in an envelope,
stamped and mailed it.

I've mailed it to our theatre group.

You bitch!

Don't hit us!

I'll tell you how to get the jade back.

By blowing up the mailbox?

No, the theatre group is off tomorrow,
the day after is Sunday.

No one's going to be there for two days.

No one will pick up the mail.

If you're lucky,
you can get it back tomorrow.

Right...

At least, you ain't stupid,
let's go to the theater now.

Come on!

Officer, he's the murderer.

But I subjugated him.

Sorry, sir. We're late.

It's fine.

Maybe Interpol didn't receive
info in time.

Sorry?

I'm from the Taipei Police Force,
a special agent working on this case.

I'm here to look for
the missing national treasure.

- Aren't you a gigolo?
- No.

I came here undercover
to investigate Viper.

Gigolo Sam was just my cover.

You are full of lies!

Hong Kong and Taiwan
have no political ties.

This is an unsanctioned mission.

How can I reveal my identity that easily?

At this point,
I had to ask for Interpol's help.

This has more twists and turns
than Gu Long's novels.

Forget it.

Let's join Shanbo and Inspector Xu.

- Which Inspector Xu?
- Your Inspector Xu.

She took Shanbo and Yingtai with her.

There isn't an Inspector Xu on this case.

Oh, God!

Let us go!

We won't say anything.

Don't bother begging her.

You think she'd leave the witnesses alive?

She's cold blooded.

Just trying to butter her up,
or she would never let us go.

You can say all you want.

You're dead once I get the envelope.

Help!

Scream your lungs out!
This is a school district.

And it's Sunday!

Can you see anyone around?

I'll shoot your kneecaps,
so you can scream louder.

Who are you?

I didn't want to tell you,
but you've got guts.

Fine, I'll tell you.

I'm Lan.

Lan?

Viper, Shantung Woman, Liang, Ben

and myself went there
to rob the smuggling boat.

When we found the national treasure
and cash,

bullets were fired, I got hit,

and they threw me into the sea.

But I survived.

They betrayed me, so they must all die.

You killed them all?

Including Ben.

So we've blamed Sam wrongly.

Right.

Any other questions?

I can answer you.

- What brand of toothpaste do you use?
- Why?

Don't use it, your breath stinks.

It's empty?
Are they taking the day off today?

Stop hitting us!

Insult away!

You bitch.

Whatever.

I'm going to be a rich bitch very soon.

Sit tight for a slow death.

Run.

Excuse me, this letter got bounced back.

- Whose letter?
- Not sure.

The mailing address wasn't clear,
we had to return it.

Fine, you sign it.

Thanks.

- What is it?
- Membership fee for theater group.

You're blind without glasses.

Liang Shanbo, come out. It's over.

What the hell.

No! Yingtai is still out there.

I must save her.

Bitch, you wanted me! Here I am!

Yingtai... don't die.

I've already killed that woman.

Get up, and kick her a few times.

I won't fight with you anymore.

You can keep the flat, and Sam.

Yingtai, get up!

Yingtai, are you ok?

Little bitch, it's all an act!

The director said I can't fake death.

But I convinced you.

I heard you, you're giving me everything?

I'll choke you to death.

- Liang Shanbo.
- Zhu Yingtai.

Sam...

Finally I've proven that
I'm as good as Bruce Lee!

Thanks to these citizens

who are here to accept
the Outstanding Citizen Awards.

District Councillor Wang Heng Xin
will do the honour.

Councillor.

My turn?

Here they are.

One more.

Brave and Shrewd - Good Citizen
Fei Xiaoxiao

Courageous - Good Citizen
Liang Xinbo

Cangying?

Cangying, you're alive?

So?

Why aren't you calling me boss?

Cangying's our boss!

I'm the boss now.

Have you seen anyone
who could survive all those bullets?

Only true leaders like me.

What about me?

Work for me, call me boss.

Stop the boss bullshit. Move...

Kids, it's bad to join the triad.

Don't do it! I'll turn over a new leaf!

When will you come back to see us?

- When?
- Maybe next month.

I don't believe you, you are full of lies.

Right, are you hiding anything?

Yes, but I'd rather not tell you.

Come on.

You sure?

I'm actually a policewoman
pretending to be a man.