Dot the I (2003) - full transcript

Carmen, I don't want you to go back.

I'm not going back.

Good.

I'm never going back.

Marry me, Carmen.

What?

Marry me.

Barnaby...

- we've known each other for...
- Six months.

- Five.
- And a half. So what?

So what, Carmen?
I've never been so sure of anything.



I've never been so happy as since
I met you.

Just promise me
you'll think about it. Please?

I'm afraid we are fully booked.
Another time, no doubt.

I'd like to propose a toast to Carmen...

who's gonna be the blushing bride
to her sexy new husband.

Cheers.

- Put it on automatic.
- I don't want to.

Just put it on automatic,
because it does it for you.

That's videotaping, not filmmaking.
I'm a filmmaker, not a videotaper.

Yeah, give me the fucking camera.
Put it on automatic...

because it does it for you. Dick.

- Messieurs, bonsoir.
- Bonsoir.

We have a table.

- Under what name, monsieur?
- Kit Winter.



Yes.

Gentlemen, I'm afraid there has been
a little mix-up.

Would you mind sharing a table?

- Fuck's sake.
- No, we don't mind.

- Which table?
- That one, monsieur.

We'll take it.

Are you all right?

- Lesbians.
- What?

Lesbians.

Shut the fuck up, Theo.

I mean, hey, whatever floats your boat.

Oh, no.

It's a French tradition. You have to do it.

It's a French restaurant, French tradition.
It'll bring you luck.

- What's he talking about?
- I don't know.

- Go on.
- Okay.

Mesdames et messieurs...

these ladies are celebrating a hen night.

In France, we have a tradition.

The bride-to-be must choose a man
for one last kiss.

A farewell to her single life.

- Not him.
- Check them out down here.

Mesdames et messieurs,
the bride-to-be has chosen...

monsieur.

Here goes.

Excuse me. Sorry.

Bravo!

So, this guy in the restaurant...

- was he bothering you?
- No.

- He was...
- Did you hit him?

You hit him, didn't you?

Oh, that's beautiful.

You know, your temper is gonna get you
into serious trouble one of these days.

No, I've got it.

You know, it's amazing what they can
do with skin grafts now.

I'm sorry.

- Maybe they'd like to join us.
- Oh, yeah.

I told you I'll be back.
You can't hide from me.

Like, you can't say I'm not a fair man.
I gave you two months...

Now look, I told you.
Now get your things and out.

Where did you get this?

Are you...

dealing drugs?

Yes?

That French tradition?

I was thinking that...

Hey, where do you think you're going?
It's not your break.

Oy, you can't come back here.
Are you listening to me?

- Overreacting a little, aren't we?
- How did you find me?

Your friends at the restaurant,
they told me where you worked.

- I should get back.
- What, the burgers will get cold?

Have you been wondering?

Or do you kiss like that all the time?

I've been wondering.

I'm getting married, okay?
That's why I was having that...

chicken thing.

Hen night. It's called a hen night.

I'm getting married.

Okay, then he gets to see you for the
rest of his life.

What harm is there if you see me
just once?

Would you like to see me beg?

Believe me,
I'm no stranger to humiliation.

Get up.

- A coffee.
- No.

One glass of water.
In a brightly-lit public place.

No.

Okay, we don't even have to talk
to each other.

- We don't even have to sit together.
- No.

You sit on one side of the room
and I sit on the other.

- No.
- And if everything goes really well...

we'll just wave to each other once
in a while.

Why are you filming this?

- Just in case I never see you again.
- Which you won't.

Did you bone her?

Take me off speakerphone.

He didn't bone it.

Tell me you got her number, at least.

- She wouldn't give it to me.
- So what did you do?

She agreed to meet me.

Hey, result.

When?

Hello?

- Are you sure there was someone there?
- Yes.

- Following you?
- Yes. I...

I don't know.

Carmen, there's nothing to be scared of.
I won't let anything happen to you.

But what if it was him?

How could it be?

Think about it, Carmen.
There's no way he could find you here.

Well, he found me before.

That was Madrid.
You're in another country now.

You don't know him.

Maybe it was that guy from the hen night.

What?

- No, I don't think so.
- Well, how do you know?

Because...

Maybe it was no one.

Maybe I imagined it.

Carmen, I...

I booked the registry office.

- What?
- They had a cancellation. Next Saturday.

Next Saturday?

Did I do the wrong thing?

- I can call them in the morning and cancel.
- No, don't.

I want to marry you.

I do.

Any more caffeine, they'd be peeling me...

Oh, shit.

What the fuck?

Why are you following me?

I thought you might like to explain
what the hell that was all about.

Well, this is a nice date.
I'm having a nice time.

This is not a date.

I only showed up to tell you you're
a son of a bitch.

- Well, at least we connected.
- I lost my job because of you.

Is that what this is all about?

You lost your job?
Flipping burgers?

Fuck you.

What do you do
that makes you so high and mighty?

I'm an actor.

Unemployed...

most of the time.

In fact, I do unemployment really well.

You know, maybe I should just
stop pretending...

and start flipping burgers.

Why don't you tell me about the fries
and the pickles and the buns?

Look, you're here and I'm bleeding.

I know this great chemist.

Thanks.

Thank you.

There.

Thanks.

Are you hungry?

Hi, this is 7031.
Can I get something to eat?

So how do you know about this place?

How many jobs have you been
fired from?

Exactly?

Thirty-five...

in six months.

- I have a temper.
- Yeah, I noticed. Yeah.

- Sorry about that.
- That's okay.

- Where are you from?
- Madrid. You?

Rio. Brazil.

- Yeah?
- Yeah, but my dad's English.

So I came here when I was...

What the hell are you...

Carmen!

Get off me, you fat, fucking asshole.

You're back.

- What is it this time?
- Two steaks, two apple pies.

Entertaining, were we?

- And one bottle of Campo Viejo.
- Viejo.

1996.

Commendable choice.

Fiona, get me Sgt. Davies, would you?

What the blazes now? Stay there.

Keep left, please.

Please use the left-hand door.

Please use the door on the left.

Carmen.

Not through the revolving...
Hey!

Stop.

- Here.
- Thanks.

I didn't ask for your help.

- I know.
- Didn't ask.

No.

Your coat.

At the hotel.

It's a saying:

"A kiss...

"is to dot the 'I'...

"on the word 'love."'

Yeah, but there's no "I" in "love."

Well...

then I guess it doesn't work in English,
does it?

I better go.

Bye.

Barnaby. You scared me.

Nice coat.

- It's a friend's.
- Where's yours?

At work. I left it at work.

Well, let's go and get it.

Barnaby, what's the matter?

- Come on, let's go and get your coat.
- Barnaby, stop it.

- You need a coat. Everyone needs a coat.
- What's going on?

I called you at work.

What?

They told me you'd been fired.

You were checking up on me?

I was worried about you being followed.

Or did you make that up, too?

I don't know if I can do this.

You know what Ford said.

Yeah, I don't give a flying fuck
what Ford said.

I don't see what the big deal is anyway.

The big deal, Theo...

- What's that?
- Shit. It's my landlord.

- I've gotta go. Bye.
- Kit...

Asshole.

Carmen?

How did you find me?

Thanks. Did you pay it?

Please come in.

Reminds me of home.

- Is this your father?
- Yeah.

He used to be a soap star.

- Where is he now?
- He...

He's...

Well, I just came to give you your coat.

- Thank you.
- Thanks.

Wait.

I've still got that wine that you gave me.

My father drank his wine out of mugs.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

Mine took it straight from the bottle.

He didn't want anything getting in
the way.

- No, don't.
- Yes. Just a little.

No.

- Why do you have to film everything?
- 'Cause moments don't last.

They're not meant to.

Look, I wanna remember you when
you're gone...

and I'm married to this blond girl,
you know...

and she's very rich,
and I'm full of regret because of...

- I don't know, just tell me something.
- What?

Anything. How did you meet your fianc??

I dance sometimes at this club.

They don't pay much, but...

Anyway, Barnaby came in one night.

What does he do?

Nothing, not really. He is...

- I mean...
- Born with a silver spoon?

- What?
- Rich.

Yeah. A big spoon.

Then why are you so worried
about working?

Because I like to earn my own money.

- Is that okay for you?
- Yes.

- You think I'm marrying him for his money.
- No.

Better, 'cause I'm not.

Okay.

My turn.

What happened to your father?

He...

- If you don't want to talk about it...
- No, it's okay.

He killed himself.

Sorry.

He did something that he couldn't
live with...

and that's why he came here.

And what...

Sorry, what happened here?

You don't want to know.

But it's why you left Madrid.

And it's probably why you're marrying
Barnaby.

I'm marrying Barnaby because
I love him.

Then why are you here?

Yes?

- Hi.
- What are you doing here?

- Have you been following me?
- No.

Your friends at the hen night...

They have a big mouth.

I brought you this.

I meant to give it to you earlier.

I hope you like it.

What?

This is my favorite book.

I have to get changed.

- I'll wait outside, okay?
- Yeah.

- Bye.
- Bye.

Carmen.

And there was me thinking that you were
trying to run away from me again.

Kit, I like you, really...

but I don't want to fuck up what I
have with Barnaby.

I'm getting married...

on Saturday.

This Saturday?

I've had enough trouble for one life.

Don't make any more.

Carmen.

Are you okay?

What do I do?

Are you going to eat that, Kit?

Theo, will you stop thinking about
your fucking stomach for one moment?

I mean,
he's trying to make a decision here.

Sorry.

- You're in deep.
- I know.

- Well, that's good.
- That's good? How's that good?

- Theo, tell me, how's that good?
- Well, 'cause, you know...

Well, you knew she was getting married
when you met her.

- I know.
- He's right.

I know he's right. I know.

I know, maybe I should just leave her be.
I don't...

No, wait. I mean, think about it.

What if she is the one?

I mean, are you prepared to risk
the possibility of settling for second best...

somewhere down the line?

Oh, no, I've seen this one.

I've seen this one.
No, 'cause you do a Graduate.

- A what?
- A Graduate. You know...

turn up at the wedding,
and if she runs off with you...

there you have it.
You gonna eat that? Can I...

Theo, for Christ's sake, life is not
a movie.

Yeah, it is.

Come on, whatever you say, whatever
you do, movies always got there first.

Even that line you just said comes
from a movie.

Kevin Spacey in
the end of Swimming With Sharks.

"Because life is not a movie.

"Everyone lies. Good guys lose.

"And love does not conquer all."

Are you gonna eat that, Kit?

Not those.

Carmen, I wanted to say I'm sorry
for not trusting you.

I'm gonna try not to be jealous...

or possessive, because...

- I know how you hate that.
- That guy from the hen night...

- You don't have to explain anything.
- No, I want to.

He came to the burger bar.
He is the reason I got fired.

And I did see him again.

But I don't want to see him anymore.

You want to postpone, don't you?

- No, I didn't say that.
- It's okay.

- I know you have your doubts.
- I don't.

Look, I'm gonna check into a hotel
tomorrow...

- until Saturday.
- Why?

Because I want you to have room
to think...

to make the right decision.

I really love you, Carmen.

And I swear I'll do anything I can
to make you happy.

Marriage, according to the law
of this country...

is a union between one man with
one woman...

voluntarily entered into for life...

and to the exclusion of all others.

It is solemn and it is binding.

"Do you, Barnaby Caspian...

"take Carmen Colazzo
to be your lawfully wedded wife...

"to have and to hold from this day
forward...

"for richer, for poorer, in sickness
and in health...

"as long as you both shall live?"

I do.

"And do you, Carmen Colazzo...

"take Barnaby Caspian
to be your lawfully wedded husband...

"to have and to hold from this day
forward...

"for richer, for poorer...

"in sickness and in health...

"for as long as you both shall live?"

I do.

- Hi.
- Looking for someone?

- Yeah, this couple getting married.
- How unusual.

- Spanish girl?
- Yes. That's her.

She looked so beautiful.

You're too late.

Carmen, wait!

Wait!

Double glazing, it's a bitch.

Born with a silver spoon?

- What?
- Rich.

Yeah. A big spoon.

Then why are you so worried
about working?

Because I like to earn my own money.

Is that okay for you?

- You think I'm marrying him for his money.
- No.

Better, 'cause I'm not.

But it's why you left Madrid.

And it's probably why you're
marrying Barnaby.

I have got a little surprise for you.

One Caribbean cruise for two,
first-class.

- Barnaby.
- I know.

I couldn't resist.

I want to spoil my wife.

We could look a little happier.
They cost a small fortune.

I don't know
if I want to go away right now.

Sorry, what?

Nothing, I...

- You surprised me.
- Carmen, we just got married!

I'm fine.

Well, if you're fine, then that's fine.

Fine. Fine. Fine

Carmen, I paid a lot of money for
decent wine glasses.

Please use them.

I got married.

Dot the "I."

See? It does work in English.

Carmen?

Yes?

There's something that I have to tell you.

Something that...

That's not very...

I lied to you.

My friends never told you where I
worked, did they?

- No.
- Then it was you, wasn't it? Following me?

No.

Oh, Jesus, not again.

What are you talking about?

I can't believe I'm doing this to Barnaby.
He's been nothing but good to me.

But you can't be with someone just
because they're good to you.

- Really? And why not?
- Well, no, because you need...

- Because you need passion, I think...
- Passion?

Yeah.

Don't talk to me about passion.

I've tried passion.

Passion for people who don't deserve it...

for people who cause me pain.

I've followed my heart before.

You want to see what I got?

I wanted to leave.

He had...

other ideas.

I'm sorry.

I thought he found me.

That he was here...

following me like he used to.

Hiding in the shadows, but...

- it was you.
- No.

No, it wasn't.

Carmen, wait!

Barnaby, I'm sorry.

I know I fucked up, and you don't
deserve it.

But I want you to know it's over.

I don't want to fuck up anymore.

Barnaby.

Leave.

- Please.
- Just leave, before I...

- I'm not going to...
- Get out!

Okay.

I hope this thing's working.

You know, everyone thinks that I've
got everything.

What have I got?

A nice home, money.

I haven't got you.

I mean, I never did.

And without you...

Some people say this is the easy way out.

It's taking more courage
than anything I've ever done before.

Look at me, I'm shaking.

The camera never lies, even when it
deceives.

This is what I've chosen to do.

I love you.

Excuse me,
miss, you can't come in here.

Where is he?

I'm so very sorry.

Take that fucking camera out of my face!

Kit!

- Carmen. What happened?
- He's dead.

- What?
- I killed him.

Barnaby. He's dead.
I killed him. He shot himself.

- Oh, Jesus, no.
- I got to call about his ambulance.

- Fuck. What have I done?
- It's not your fault!

Don't you see?
It is my fault, Carmen. I've gotta call Ford.

I've got to tell him what's happened.
It's gotta stop right away.

- Who's Ford?
- Why did I do it? Fuck!

What's going on?

Carmen, I'm so sorry.

What?

What the fuck is going on here?

I knew it was wrong
right from the start. Okay?

I needed the money.

- Kit, you're scaring me.
- I wanted to tell you.

I wanted to tell you before, but I just...

Tell me what?

Kit? Fuck. Tell me what?

I'm Kit. Kit Winter.

- Ford.
- Ford?

- This is Tom and Theo.
- Hi.

- Hi.
- Johnny Handsome.

My assistants.

- Let me take your coat.
- Thanks.

We're not actually his assistants.

That's just one of Ford's little jokes.

No. Yeah, 'cause we're the producers.

...letting Ford direct, you know.

- Theo, coffee.
- Yeah, sure, director.

- Where are you from?
- Brazil.

But my dad's English, so I can work here.

Yeah, but you speak Spanish, yeah?

No, I don't.
In Brazil, we speak Portuguese.

Good.

What have you been working on recently?

Things. Some projects, you know.

It's a bit of a hectic time right now.

Things.

Do you want to be a star?

I don't know.

Yes.

- Sorry. Coffee's off.
- Thanks.

So here it is. A love triangle.

There's a couple about to get married,
only the girl's having doubts.

You know, the usual shit.
Is she marrying the right guy, blah-blah?

She does love her fianc?,
but there's something missing.

And then on her hen night, she meets
someone else.

Someone with a little fire in his belly.

And that's when things start to get
interesting.

Great.

- Where's the script?
- No script.

Improvisation. Reality cinema.

It's all the rage.

- If you get the part...
- Of course.

...then you'll use this
whenever you're with the girl...

to get your side of the story.

You in?

That's it?

- You don't want me to audition?
- She's gonna love you.

I mean, this whole Latino thing...

it's so now.

Righteous.

Theo, contract and release form.

Great. Yeah.

He hasn't even
told you the sucker punch yet.

- Theo.
- The real twist of the movie.

What's that?

I was gonna tell you about that when
we'd finalized the details.

- No. What's he talking about?
- The girl, yeah, and her fianc??

They don't know they're in the movie.

What?

That's the hook.

They have no idea that they're there
for our entertainment.

It's kind of an emotional snuff movie.

Put it on automatic, because it does
it for you.

That's videotaping, not filmmaking.
I'm a filmmaker, not a videotaper.

You meet the girl on the hen night.
The real thing.

Would you mind sharing a table?

- No rehearsals?
- Life has no rehearsals.

And there's something else.

I'd quite like to play a little joke
on my fianc?e this evening.

Do you know that French tradition,
the one where...

The bride-to-be
must choose a man for one last kiss.

And remember, don't let any other
handsome guys in.

I'm afraid we are fully booked, sir.

- That should cover it.
- Yes.

Thank you very much.

She's a real beauty.

Spanish. A little nuts.

A kind of Betty Blue.

Why do you have to film everything?

I know where she lives, where she works.

- How did you find me?
- Your friends at the restaurant.

They have a big mouth.

I even know what her favorite book is.

Seduction ammo.

So you want me to break up this
relationship for real?

Fucking A.

The guy is a real rich tosspot.

You break this couple up, you're gonna
be doing the girl a favor, trust me.

I live in the same building as him.

I can get into his flat and hide the
cameras.

They've got
this sound and motion function.

Switch themselves on and off.

And then, when he's out, I can just get
in and change over the tapes.

- Marry me.
- Barnaby.

Life is fucking art, man.

I don't believe this.

The salary's ?300 a week, cash.

I can't do it.

What?

I mean, doesn't this seem wrong to you?

I don't see where wrong comes into it.

Either you want to be a star, or you don't.

You want to be famous,
you gotta fuck someone over.

Look, I'm flattered, really, guys.
But, no, thanks.

No dog experience, but I don't believe
that you need dog experience to...

Okay, thank you, bye.

- Okay, ?400.
- No.

Yeah, where I come from, in my culture...

it's very important
to do really good burgers.

Dreams don't fall into your lap.

I know you're in there.

You'd better have it
by the time I get back, or you're out!

?500. Final offer.

Hi, it's Kit. Yeah, the Brazilian.
Yeah, hi.

Is the offer still open?

Carmen, I'm sorry.

I tried to stop it.

I can't do this anymore, Ford.

You pull out now, and I'll sue.
Read your contract.

Just be there.

But you didn't stop it, Kit.

You didn't stop it.

- It was all an act.
- No, it wasn't. It wasn't an...

Not with you.

I was scared that if I told you...

Ford? How did you get into my flat?

- Barnaby.
- Barnaby?

Dead man walking.

No fucking way.

- You know, sometimes...
- No fucking way.

...I amaze myself.

Nice.

I saw them.
I saw the police and the ambulance.

I saw them.

Actors.

All right. If she says anything to you...

- I'm so sorry.
...just tell her it's police procedure.

I saw blood.

Fuck me.

- I want to see that back.
- That was magic.

Go on, man.

- Did it work?
- It did, yeah.

I love you.

Fake, like Kit's feelings for you.

- No, that's not true.
- What is it you call it?

The Method.

- You motherfucker.
- What?

No one forced you to do anything.
You wanted to be a star. Remember?

- Yeah, well, you fucking married her.
- I know.

Great twist, eh?

Okay.

Just calm down.

I have only come to pay what I owe.

Fuck...

You've grown a conscience all of
a sudden?

You didn't seem to mind fucking
another man's wife.

Suit yourself, but I need the camera back.

Take it and get out.

- And the others.
- Others?

Yeah, well, I can't let you keep it, kid.

It's far too expensive.
You must understand that.

Not in my fucking flat.

It's a bedsit, Kit.

This is really good stuff.

Carmen, I swear I know nothing
about this.

No, there he is telling you the truth.

If I'd told him about the hidden cameras...

his performance wouldn't have been
so authentic.

And believe me...

that's about as authentic as it gets.

- When we met...
- She speaks.

...did you have it planned already?

Honey, try and keep up.

It's why we met.

The moment I saw you,
I knew I'd found my character.

Tempestuous, vulnerable...

needy.

Why are you so good to me?

And then when I found out
about this psycho ex-boyfriend of hers...

and the acid attack, perfect.

It is brilliant casting on my part,
you must admit.

I mean, the girl's a complete fuck-up.

What? You want me to feel bad?

I'm...

an artist.

Does a painter feel for his paint?

You want a little sprinkling of
Freudian motivation.

Might help.

Let me see, what can I tell you?

That I grew up alone?

That my parents threw money at me
instead of love?

That I was shunted
from one nanny to another...

from one heartless boarding school
to the next?

That I was
taught to be emotionally frigid?

Well, fuck that.

I did it because I was bored.

Because I could.

Because I had the time and the money.

I did it because people like me...

get to play with the lives of people
like you.

Because you so desperately wanted
to believe in love.

Just got out of hand, didn't it?

You went and kissed each other...

like you weren't meant to kiss each other.

You never kissed me like that.

Not once.

I suppose that that is why I...

- Fuck me, I'm good.
- What the fuck?

I just thought a little tearful confession
would come in useful, you know.

Cut it into the film somewhere,
but that's the last one.

Trust me.

I just realized.

What?

Nobody ever is gonna see your film.

And why is that?

Because you need a release form
from Carmen.

You need her permission.

Making a film is all about organization.

You've got to think of everything.

Cross the "T's" and...

dot the "I's."

You'll thank me one day.

How do you feel about being nominated
for the award...

at the 3rd Indie-Vision Festival?

I gotta tell you, it's a buzz.

It's a great honor.

More than I could've hoped for
with this, my first film.

But I had a wonderful cast, a good
team around me, so...

- Sorry.
- Sorry, what?

Are we excited
about tonight's proceedings?

Of course, we're very happy...

that "Dot the I" has been nominated
for an award tonight.

Everybody's invited.
There's no hard feelings between us.

We're all great friends now.

I think everyone's very proud of our
achievements.

Especially as it was our idea in the
first place.

And the film has been doing so
wonderfully well...

on the film-festival circuit.

Of course, we wanna get it out there,
you know, into the cinemas.

Well, this evening's proceedings should
bring us a lot of publicity.

Yes, well, we want a hit.
Absolutely, yeah.

Okay, good. One more like that.

Sorry, what?

When we were making the movie...

Carmen didn't know she was in the film,
and she was, understandably...

a little freaked out at the time.

And then time went by...

and I quietly went to work.

And I cut together
a really moving performance.

And I showed it to her. She loved it.

Well, of course she loved it.
She's beautiful in it. She's wonderful.

It was like six or seven months of
pent-up emotion...

suddenly flowed out of her.

And I took her in my arms
after the screening, gave her a cuddle.

I think we made a connection that was
deeper than anything we had in the film.

Something very real now between
Carmen and me.

And so now
we come to the Newcomer Award.

And I'm pleased to say that in this
category...

the judging panel have come
to a completely unanimous decision.

This award goes to a film which is...

uncompromising and remarkable.

It is an extraordinary achievement.

A tragic love story which is startling
in its authenticity and realism.

- Put it on automatic.
- What?

It gives me great pleasure
to present the Newcomer Award...

to Barnaby F. Caspian for "Dot the I"!

- You're gonna miss him.
- I can handle it.

Put the fucking thing on automatic.

Jesus Christ. Jesus fucking Christ.

He's got a gun!

- Is he dead?
- I don't know.

- Did you get the shot?
- I think so.

- Did you get the shot, Theo?
- I got it.

Good.

Barnaby?

- You wanna tell us what's going on?
- I wish I knew.

You're gonna have to do better
than that, son.

It was Tom and Theo's idea...

the whole film.

And they thought it would be a great idea
if the film spilled over into real life.

Go on.

The plan was that I was...

supposed to be upset because Carmen
was back with Barnaby.

I would seek my revenge in his
moment of glory.

I was going to pretend to shoot him.

And he was going to pretend to go down.
Just for the cameras, you know?

Then I would get jumped on, and we'd
let it go on just for a little while...

until the whole ceremony descended
into chaos.

Then he would get up, and that was it.
We'd all have a good laugh.

What was the point?

What was the point? Publicity.

The stunt would hit the news,
and you can't buy that kind of publicity.

Tom and Theo thought that the film
would be a hit off the back of it.

- This is a starter pistol.
- I know.

- It only fires blanks.
- I know.

Then if you shot him with a starter pistol,
perhaps you could explain to me...

how Barnaby is lying in a hospital bed
fighting for his life.

All I know is that that was the plan.

That's why I was given the starter pistol.

- You can't go in there, love. Sorry.
- No, he's my husband.

You know, maybe you should talk to
Tom and Theo. It was their idea.

And, you know,
they were always a little bit nuts.

I don't know,
maybe they took the stunt to heart.

I don't know what you're talking about.

I don't know anything about no
publicity stunt.

Is this camera yours?

Yes.

And this?

- This has nothing to do with us.
- They found it in the ballroom.

- Another starting pistol?
- No.

It's an automatic. Guess what?

- It's recently been fired.
- So?

I've never seen that fucking thing
in my life.

Then perhaps you could explain why
it has your fingerprints all over it.

- What?
- No, I swear.

I swear.

Let's have a look at this, shall we?

And tonight's proceedings
should bring us a lot of publicity.

Because, you know, we want a hit.

Absolutely.

Sir.

Well, boys,
you're in a whole heap of trouble.

Barnaby's dead.

So what have we got?

To present the Newcomer Award...

Put it on automatic.
You're gonna miss the shot.

- You're gonna miss him.
- I can handle it.

Put the fucking thing on automatic.

Jesus Christ. Jesus fucking Christ.

He's got a gun.

- Is he dead?
- I don't know.

Oh, Jesus Christ.
Did you get the shot, Theo?

- I think so.
- Did you get it?

- I got it.
- Good.

Theo, what the fuck have you done?

I swear I found it in my pocket.
Honest, I don't know where it came from.

What the fuck have you done?

I think you should get yourselves a lawyer.

Have you been following the
Tom and Theo trial?

Do you miss Barnaby?

Carmen, who made your dress?

Get that camera out of here!

Dot the I passes the $50 million mark.

It's a lot of money.

What are you doing?

You got any papers in there?