Diamonds Are Forever (1971) - full transcript

Where is he?

I shan't ask you
politely next time.

Where is Blofeld?

Cai... Cai...

Cairo.

Cards.

Hit me.

One chance.

Where can I find him?

Marie...

Ask Marie.



Who are you?

My name is Bond. James Bond.

Is there something
I can do for you?

Yes, as a matter
of fact, there is.

There is something I'd like
you to get off your chest.

Where is Ernst Stavro Blofeld?

Speak up, darling.
I can't hear you.

We now come to phase
four: the nose.

In my opinion, the most difficult
part of a plastic transformation.

I want the operation done tonight.

- But, senor...
- There's no time left.

But, Senor Blofeld, this is
a most delicate procedure.

Tonight.

Keep the temperature at
precisely 80 degrees.



Making mud pies, 007?

He would have been me
in a matter of days

if you'd given the
poor fellow a chance.

Such a pity. I was dying to see
how the operation turned out.

Get his gun.

Hold it. Get your hands up.

Agh.

Kill him.

Welcome to hell, Blofeld.

♪ Diamonds are forever ♪

♪ They are all I
need to please me ♪

♪ They can stimulate
and tease me ♪

♪ They won't leave in the night ♪

♪ I've no fear that
they might desert me ♪

♪ Diamonds are forever ♪

♪ Hold one up and then caress it ♪

♪ Touch it, stroke it
and then dress it ♪

♪ I can see every part ♪

♪ Nothing hides in the
heart to hurt me ♪

♪ I don't need love ♪

♪ For what good will love do me? ♪

♪ Diamonds never lie to me ♪

♪ For when love's gone,
they lustre on ♪

♪ Diamonds are forever ♪

♪ Sparkling round
my little finger ♪

♪ Unlike men, the
diamonds linger ♪

♪ Men are mere mortals who ♪

♪ Are not worth going
to your grave for ♪

♪ I don't need love ♪

♪ For what good will love do me? ♪

♪ Diamonds never lie to me ♪

♪ For when love's
gone they lustre on ♪

♪ Diamonds are forever,
forever, forever ♪

♪ Diamonds are forever,
forever, forever ♪

♪ Forever ♪

♪ And ever ♪

Star of South Africa.

83.5 carats rough.

47.5 carats cut.

The Akbar Shah. 116 carats rough.

Are you paying attention, 007?

The Akbar Shah, 116 carats rough.

But surely, sir, there's no
need to bring in our section on

a relatively simple
smuggling matter.

Sir Donald has convinced
the PM otherwise.

May I remind you, 007,
that Blofeld's dead.

Finished.

The least we can expect from you
now is a little plain, solid work.

Good morning, gentlemen.

- Sir Donald will see you now.
- Thank you.

Good morning, sir Donald.

- This is Commander Bond.
- How do you do? Please sit down.

Sherry?

Not for me, thanks.
Doctor's orders.

- Commander Bond?
- Yes, thank you.

You've been on
holiday, I understand.

Relaxing, I hope.

Oh, hardly relaxing
but most satisfying.

Cheers.

Pity about your liver, sir.
It's an unusually fine Solera.

'51, I believe.

There is no year for sherry, 007.

I was referring to
the original vintage

on which the sherry is based, sir.

1851.

Unmistakable.

Precisely.

Tell me, Commander.

How far does your expertise extend
into the field of diamonds?

Hardest substance found in nature.
They cut glass. Suggest marriage.

They've replaced a dog as a girl's
best friend. That's about it.

Refreshing to hear there's one
subject you're not an expert on.

Perhaps I'd better
give you a brief

background into our problem.

Eighty per cent of
the world's diamonds

come from mines in South Africa.

Most are dug out of shafts
of diamond-bearing clay

at depths of up to 3,000 feet.

The whole process,
from start to finish,

is subject to an airtight
security system.

It's an essential precaution,

though the industry
prides itself on the

loyalty and devotion
of its workers.

Naturally the security measures
tend to ensure that loyalty,

as do the extensive amenities
and social services we provide

There's a permanent staff
of doctors, nurses,

even dentists and the whole
process, from start to finish,

is subject to an airtight
security system.

It's a necessary precaution,

though the industry
prides itself on the

loyalty and devotion
of its workers.

Next.

The scorpion.

Mother nature's finest
killer, Mr Wint.

One is never too old to learn
from a master, Mr Kidd.

Dr Tynan? Good evening.

Who are you? And where is Joe?

Joe couldn't make it tonight.

I'm Mr Wint.

This is Mr Kidd.

Oh. I see.

What's the matter with him?

It's my wisdom teeth. I
haven't had 'em out yet.

Would you mind having
a look, Doctor?

Of course.

I'm not going to
hurt you. Just open.

No, no. Open wide.

Agh.

Curious

how everyone who touches
those diamonds seems to die.

- Stop right there. Who are you?
- Dr Tynan sent us.

- Why didn't he come himself?
- He was taken sick.

Bitten by the bug.

He sent this for you.

If God had wanted man to fly...

He would have given
him wings, Mr Kidd.

No security system is perfect.

We've always accepted a
percentage of smuggling.

But over the past two
years, despite all

our precautions, it's
gone up alarmingly.

And none of the stones
have reached the market.

Sir Donald thinks
someone's stockpiling.

Our concern is that
someone might dump

them on the market to
depress prices or...

Make you agree to
perpetual blackmail.

Exactly.

What we need to know is

who the stockpilers are.

The letter U

is for umbrella.

We take it lest it rain.

We hope we shan't want it

till we're home again.

Two men to see you, Missy.

Gentlemen, Joshua.

I shan't be long, children. Joshua
is going to read you a story.

How nice to see you again.

- Where to this time?
- Amsterdam.

Amsterdam. Oh, how lovely.

I shall have to bring
back some pictures

of the canals for the children.

Ask, and ye shall
receive, Mrs Whistler.

Thus endeth the lesson
for today, gentlemen.

Several recent murders in South
Africa have complicated matters.

If they shut down operations
before we discover them...

It would be catastrophic for us

and for the government.

I've always fancied a
trip to South Africa.

You're going to Holland.

For some time we've had our eyes
on a smuggler, Peter Franks.

He's due to leave for Amsterdam.

Do we know who his contacts are?

We do function in your
absence, Commander.

Passport, sir?

Ah, Mr Franks. There's a message
for you at Passport Control.

That door over there.
You can park outside.

Thank you.

Mr Franks...

Your passport is quite in order.

Anyone seeing you in
that outfit, Moneypenny,

would certainly be discouraged
from leaving the country.

What can I bring you
back from Holland?

A diamond?

In a ring?

Would you settle for a tulip?

Yes.

Ahead is one of the oldest
bridges in Amsterdam.

The Skinny Bridge.

It was built over 300 years ago

by two sisters who wanted to
visit each other every day.

Unfortunately they
ran out of money. So

that is why it is called
the Skinny Bridge.

On your right, those
beautiful old houses

can be seen in the paintings of
our famous painter, Rembrandt.

And now, ladies and gentlemen,

if you will look
to your left as we

go down the Amstel, you can see...

Oh.

Mrs Whistler did
want some pictures

of the canals for the children.

How kind of you, Mr Kidd.

The children will be so thrilled.

Yes?

Franks. Peter Franks.

Come up. Third floor.

Make yourself at home.
I'll be out in a minute.

Help yourself to a drink.

Is, er, Mr Case not at home?

There is no Mr Case.
The T is for Tiffany.

Tiffany Case?

Definitely distinctive.

I was born there,
on the first floor,

while my mother was looking
for a wedding ring.

I'm glad for your sake it
wasn't Van Cleef and Arpels.

Weren't you a blonde
when I came in?

Could be.

I tend to notice little
things like that.

Whether a girl is a
blonde or a brunette.

And which do you prefer?

Providing the collars
and cuffs match...

We'll talk about that later.

Let me have your glass.

I'll get you some ice.

That's quite a nice little nothing
you're almost wearing. I approve.

I don't dress for the hired help.

Let's see your passport, Franks.

Occupation: transport consultant?

That's a little cute, isn't it?

I'll finish dressing.

Oh, please don't.
Not on my account.

I don't care much for
redheads. Terrible tempers.

But somehow it seems to suit you.

It's my own.

But it is in need of
some soft lighting.

I know a little restaurant...

I never mix business
with pleasure.

- Neither do I.
- Good.

Then save the cute
remarks until after

you get the diamonds
into Los Angeles.

- Well, where are they now?
- That's not your problem.

Your problem is getting them in.

- How much is there?
- 50,000 carats.

Well, at 142 carats
an ounce, that's an

awful lot of ice.
That won't be easy.

That's why you're
being paid 50 grand.

What did you think it was going
to be? A pair of earrings?

And, Franks, for God's sakes,
come up with something original.

I've got to hand it to
you, Q. Quite ingenious.

Oh, an obvious little notion.
Thought it might come in handy.

Oh, M's been trying
to get in touch with

you. That Peter Franks
fellow's escaped.

Killed one of the guards
on the way up to London

Hello?

Hello.

Are you there?

Oh.

- Yes?
- Peter Franks.

Third floor.

- Good evening.
- Good evening.

Please.

- You are English?
- Yes, I'm English.

I speak English.

- Who is your floor?
- Three, please.

Is he dead?

I sincerely hope so.

- Who is he?
- No idea.

This chap's been following
me all day today.

My God.

You've just killed James Bond.

Is that who it was?

Well, it just proves no
one's indestructible.

You don't kill James Bond and wait
around for the cops to arrive.

We've got to get those
diamonds out of here fast.

Where are they?

A little old lady dropped
them by yesterday morning.

Priceless.

I think we ought to let Mr Bond
carry the load from here on out.

It's funny.

All the things one
wanted to say to

one's brother when
it's all too late.

Let me assure you of our
deepest condolences.

Would you please
board the aircraft?

- We were inseparable, you know.
- Please, Mr Franks.

Lufthansa announce the departure
of flight LH450 to Los Angeles.

Please fasten your seat belts,
and no smoking until airborne.

Thank you.

They're both aboard. I must say,
Miss Case seems quite attractive.

For a lady.

Lufthansa announce the arrival of
flight LH450 from Amsterdam...

- Mr Franks?
- Yes.

Follow me to Customs, please.

Peter Franks, Jerry.

Get some lunch, Jerry.
I'll take over.

Death certificate,
please, Mr Franks.

Well, well, well. Felix
Leiter, you old fraud.

On behalf of the CIA,
welcome to America.

Someone sent their brain
trust down to meet you.

I give up. I know the
diamonds are in the body,

but where?

Alimentary, Dr Leiter.

So long, James. Keep in touch.

The rest of your baggage has been
cleared, Mr Franks. Ok, fellas.

You, er, wanna sit in
the front, Mr Franks?

It's a lot smoother ride
in the front, Mr Franks.

Yes, I believe I'll sit in front.

The stiff, ahem,
deceased back there.

Your brother, Mr Franks?

Yes, it was.

I got a brudder.

Small world.

Mr Franks, I'm Morton Slumber.

Please accept my
heartfelt condolences

at this most difficult hour.

Well, he is heading for a
better world, Mr Slumber.

There is some consolation in that.

Now then, if we're ready to
begin the final journey...

May his soul rest in peace.

Oh, yes. Amen.

If you'd come into my comfortable
office, we will bring you the urn.

I'm so happy you chose
our half-couch,

hinged-panel, slumber-on casket.

I'm sure your brother would
have appreciated it.

I'm sure he did.

Please, be seated.

Ashes to ashes...

- Dust to dust.
- Exactly.

At a moment like
this, I'm sure you'd

rather be left alone,
for reflection.

Most thoughtful.

We've selected a
private niche for your

brother in our Garden
of Remembrance.

The one with the
restful chartreuse

curtains and Angel's
Breath gold trim.

I hope you'll find
everything in order.

The arrangements
have been impeccable

so far.

Very moving.

Heart-warming, Mr Wint.

A glowing tribute, Mr Kidd.

You dirty, double-crossing
limey Fink.

Those goddamn
diamonds are phonies.

No, don't tell me.
You're St Peter?

Paste. Glass. Where's
the real stuff, Franks?

Where's the real
money? You wouldn't

burn 50,000 real
dollars, would you?

One last break. Where
are the real diamonds?

You get me the real money

and I'll bring you
the real diamonds.

Where do you think you're going?

I hear that the Hotel Tropicana
is quite comfortable.

My condolences, gentlemen.

Hello, Felix.

Very comfortable. But
there's one problem.

I want the real merchandise,
rather quickly.

Q has just arrived with it. We'll
be up with them in the morning

So I'd sit tight if
I were you. There's

no sense in looking for trouble.

Just enjoy yourself I James.
I'm sure you know how.

Quite. I'll probably
take in a show.

How do you like me so far?

People say I have the
body of Rock Hudson.

If he ever finds
out what I'm doing

to it, he'll be madder than hell.

I call these girls my Acorns.

Actually, they're a
gift from Willard

Whyte, who is upstairs right now

playing Monopoly
with real buildings.

Trying to find Willard
Whyte is like trying

to find a virgin in
a maternity ward.

On behalf of the Whyte House,
I wanna let you folks know

you've been a lousy audience.

So get lost. See ya later.

Shady Tree.

- Shady, we just adored your act.
- What taste, style.

And we have a few suggestions.

Critics and material
I don't need. I

haven't changed my
act in 40 years.

Hold it. Don't go in there.

We didn't get the real diamonds,
so we need Tree, alive.

That's most annoying.

- Get down there.
- Crap. Boxcar, the loser.

Well, that's it, pussycat.
I shot the whole wad.

What do you say? Back to my place?

You're a nice person,
Maxie. Really, you are.

Why don't you go and take a nap?
And I'll see you next year.

May I have $5,000?
No, make it $10,000.

$2,000 limit.

Is there some problem?

Mr Saxby.

Gentleman wants $10,000
credit with a $2,000 limit.

My name is Franks.

Peter Franks.

Mr Franks' credit's good.

Good luck to you, Mr Franks.

Thank you. I'll have
two stacks now.

Give the gentleman 4,000.

Thank you.

Hi. I'm Plenty.

- But of course you are.
- Plenty O'Toole.

Named after your father, perhaps?

Would you like some help?
On the craps, I mean.

That's very kind of you.

Coming out. Coming out.

Next shooter is a lady. Ladies
are lucky. For the lady.

Nine. Mark nine.

Seven, loser. The
lucky lady craps out.

New shooter. Your shot, Mr F.

Willard Whyte speaking.

Tree is dead. Turn on number two.

It's Peter Franks.

Hard ten. Ten's the number.

I'll take the full odds on the
ten. 200 on the hard way.

The limit on all the numbers, 250

on the eleven. Thank
you very much.

Say. You've played
this game before.

Just once.

Now what do we do?

Don't bother me
with details, Bert.

Just get me the diamonds.

You handle those cubes like
a monkey handles coconuts.

Thank you, gentlemen, for
such a sterling service.

Well, that's 50,000 dollars.

Minus $5,000 for you, leaves me
$45,000, and thank you very much.

Well, it was nothing, really.

You know something, Peter
Franks? You're a terrific guy.

A little weird, but
a terrific guy.

Say, why don't we go some
place and have a drink?

A drink?

If you'd like to come in, Plenty.

Oh, how pretty. What a
super place you have.

Mm.

Just give me one second, lover.

Good evening.

I'm afraid you've caught me
with more than my hands up.

Hey, what the hell is this? A
perverts' convention or something?

Hey, you can't do this to me.

Stop that. I've got
friends in this town.

Exceptionally fine shot.

I didn't know there was
a pool down there.

Let's get down to business. I

presume you've come
for the real...

The real diamonds.

Good evening, Miss Case.

Sorry about your fulsome friend.

I'll bet you really
missed something.

Well, the evening may not
be a total loss after all.

Why don't we talk a bit first?

First?

Well, what would you
like to talk about?

You pick a subject.

- Diamonds?
- Good boy.

And you want to know
where they are,

and whether I'm
working alone or not.

So far, so good. Keep going.

And if not, then with whom.

So you can inform
your superiors and

acquire the diamonds.

Peter.

I'm very impressed.

There's a lot more to you
than I had expected.

Presumably I'm the condemned man,

and obviously you're
the hearty breakfast.

Right?

You're not going to tell me where
the diamonds are, are you?

What diamonds?

Sooner or later
you'll have to talk.

They'll make you.

At the very least, you'll
never get out of town alive.

I can solve that little problem.

It's lucky for me
that I ran into you.

Fifty-fifty split.

You get the diamonds,
I get us out.

Us?

Well, I can't very well help
you and then stick around.

We could be on a plane and out of
the country by tomorrow night.

Rio. Hong Kong.

I know a good tailor in Hong Kong.

Hong Kong.

All right. I'll get the diamonds,
you get the plane tickets.

No. The airport's too obvious.

A rented car should do
us fine for openers.

That's good thinking.

And since you're the
one being watched,

I'll get the diamonds,
you get the car.

That's very good thinking.

Oh, Peter...

I have a feeling this
is the beginning

of a wonderful relationship.

- Darling...
- Mm?

Where do I pick up the diamonds?

Well... When was the last
time you visited a circus?

Circus Circus proudly presents

the Flying Palacios.

- She's in the building.
- Right. Stand by.

James, next time, pick a contact
point when you're standing up.

Felix, if she gives
your men the slip...

Relax. I have 30
agents down there.

A mouse with trainers on
couldn't get through.

Give Maxwell his cue.

This is Quarterback.

Operation Passover, commence.

Quarterback to Tight End.

Operation Passover, commence.

Roger.

Well, she's on her
way. So far, so good.

Good luck, Felix.
I'll see you later.

Where are you going'?

The car rental agency.

Our little rendezvous?

You don't actually
think she'll show

up? That's a thousand-tone shot.

No, more like even money.

Her devotion to larceny
versus my incomparable charm.

All right, kiddies.
Ready? Aim. Fire.

What did I tell you? Didn't I
promise you a winner every time?

There you are, young man.

Boys and girls, here
we go again. All

you have to do is
just take your gun...

Here we have a little lady,
here we have a little man,

and here we have a big lady.

You're a little out of your
league, aren't ya, sister?

Point the gun. You
know what to do.

All ready? Get set.

Now hold it till I say go.

Go.

Come on. That's it.

Everybody point right at the
clown. A winner every time.

There we are. All right.
That's the way to do it.

Oh, look at that. And
we have another winner.

Annie Oakley on the end, huh?

Here we are. What an
eye. What an eye.

Wait a second. I saw
the whole thing.

The machine's fixed.
Who's she, your mother?

Blow up your pants.

One win. She only had one win.

You're supposed to have
24 to win that dog.

Will you give it a rest, kid?

All right, boys and
girls. Here we go.

Here for the first
time, see Zambora,

strangest girl ever born to live.

She was captured near
Nairobi, South Africa,

and is believed to be part of
a cruel, inhuman experiment.

This beautiful girl will be
locked into a steel cage,

will change very slowly into a
ferocious 450-pound gorilla.

Please be very still,
ladies and gentlemen.

We must have absolute silence

so we wouldn't disturb Zambora
from her transcendental state.

We must warn you that in
every scientific experiment

there's always a danger.

So keep in mind those
curtains is an exit.

God forbid something should go
wrong over here, get outta here.

Now we start the transformation.

Very dangerous.
Very quiet, please.

Wake, my beauty, wake.

Hey, lady, not through
there. The other way.

Come on.

No show?

Felix, don't tell me you lost her?

We lost her.

Nice place you have here.

Take something off. Enjoy the sun.

You've got a lot of
guts showing up here.

Letting me freeze my behind off at
a blackjack table for two hours

waiting for some
non-existent diamonds.

And what the hell is my black
wig doing in the pool?

- She's...
- Dead.

Supposed to be you. The
next link in the pipeline.

What are you talking about?

Poor Plenty must have stumbled
in here looking for you.

I don't believe you.

A dentist is dead in South Africa.
That little old lady in Amsterdam.

Shady got his last night.
They've missed me once.

And you're next.

- Now, who's your connection?
- You sound like a cop...

- Who's your connection?
- All I know is voices on a phone.

They got me this place and told me
to wait for further instructions.

You'd find it difficult
to hear under water.

- Now, where's the stuff?
- Who are you?

You're not a cop and
you're not Peter Franks.

You're not the type to turn
the other cheek. Where is it?

Eastern Airlines
announce the arrival

of flight 112 from Los Angeles,

gate 7.

Thank you.

Fill it up, please.

It's Bert Saxby.

Willard Whyte's right-hand man.

Do you see the top? The penthouse?

They say Willard Whyte hasn't set
foot out of there in three years.

And no one has seen him, no one.

- How much is that?
- Did you pay for this?

Cut him off.

Hey, Curly. What about my stamps?

Where are you going? Are
you mad? Let me by.

Stamps? You ain't got no gas yet.

Ok, so shove a coupla gallons in.

Well, back it up.

Keep leaning on that
tooter, Charlie,

and you'll get a
shot in the mouth.

Come on, lady, move it.

Ok, lady, you win, you win.

- Will someone move that car?
- Do what he says.

Hey. I wanted high-test.

Forget it, Curly. You had
your chance and you blew it.

Ok, Professor.

- Hello.
- Hi.

- I haven't seen you here before.
- I'm Klaus Hergersheimer.

New here?

I've been here three
years. G Section.

How are things in G Section?

Still the same old
grind. You know.

Checking radiation
shields for replacement.

By the way, where's yours?

Er... I've been
waiting a couple of

days for you guys to deliver them.

Gee, I'm sorry. You should
have given us a phone call.

Look, I've got one here. Lucky
for you, I carry spares.

You keep that on. You can't be
too careful about radiation.

Absolutely. I feel much
safer with this on.

See you around.

Who are you? What do you want?

Klaus Hergersheimer. G Section.

Just, er, checking on
radiation shields.

Now let me see. You are...

Professor Dr Metz. Our
shields are fine.

Now get out.

I'm sorry. It won't
take a moment but

I must verify.

Metz. How do you spell it?

M-E... Will you please
leave, you irritating man?

Doctor, there's no reason to
run down the little people.

G Section may not be as important
to the operation as you are,

but we do have our orders.

Dr Metz. Willard Whyte for you.

Right. Out, out.

Hello, W.W.

Yes, it's finally here.

Oh, quite enough for completion.

We'll be through shortly.

No. No problems at all.

Right.

- Now will you get out of here?
- Certainly, Doctor.

I've seen everything
I need to see.

Thank you very much.

Hi. Sorry to bother you.
I'm Klaus Hergersheimer.

G Section.

Checking radiation shields?

There he is. Behind
the rock. Come on.

What is this? Amateur night?

Stop him, Harry.

Get him off that machine.
That isn't a toy.

Get out of that moon buggy.

It's gone berserk.

Hey, what do you
think you're doing?

That way.

- What happened? The diamonds...
- Get in the car.

If you see a mad professor
in a minibus, just smile.

- Fred, get the sheriff's office.
- Ok.

Listen, drop me off at the next

corner. This is
getting out of hand.

When you start stealing moon
machines from Willard Whyte,

goodbye and good luck.

Just relax. I have a friend named
Felix who can fix anything.

Is he married?

There goes that
son-of-a-bitching saboteur.

Relax. You've got a friend named
Felix who can fix anything.

Unfortunately, so
can Willard Whyte.

Why, you dirty...

Come in, Larry. Larry?

Larry?

Did you get him, Larry?

I think Larry got him.

- Sheriff...
- Attaboy, Larry.

Come in. Larry?

Sheriff...

I got you now.

Lean over.

Darling...

Why are we suddenly staying in the
bridal suite of the Whyte House?

In order to form a more
perfect union, sweetheart.

James...

May I finally call you James?

What's going to happen to me?

You did talk to your
friend Felix about me?

Well, what did he say?

Something about 20 years to
life. Nothing important.

- 20 years to life?
- Relax, darling.

I'm on top of the situation.

Mr and Mrs Jones?

Yes, that's the name on
the register, Mr Leiter.

- What's the score with W.W?
- Washington says no go.

- We sit still for now.
- Sit still?

And Miss Tiffany
Case "Jones" has a

lifetime reservation
at another hotel.

The kind the government runs.

I'm cooperating, Mr Leiter.

Really I am.

I can vouch for that.

Felix, this is not the real White
House, and he's not the president.

Why don't we go and see him?

The president I can
get you in to see.

But until Washington
believes Whyte's

a thief, that's the way it is.

In the meantime, I'm
sure you and "Mrs Jones"

can find some way to
amuse yourselves.

And just to make sure you're not
disturbed, I have a man upstairs.

And Hamilton is right out here.

So long, James.

- Well, that's a switch.
- What's that?

The wolf being guarded by
the three little pigs.

I won't be long, darling.

Where are you going?

I'm just popping
upstairs for a moment.

- Sixteenth floor?
- No, lady. Starlight Lounge only.

Ok, folks. Stand clear of
the doors. Here we go.

Starlight Lounge to
the left. Express

to street level only, folks.

Ok. Stand clear of the
doors. Here we go.

Howdy, son. We've
been expecting you.

You got any personal business
to take care of in there,

you go right ahead.

First, I suspect you're
wearing a hog leg

Would you mind standing
up and taking it off?

Aw. Isn't that nice?

You are a pleasant fella.

Why don't you just
come on in, son?

Relax. Make yourself comfortable.

That's good. Right on over there.

Good evening, Mr Bond.

Blofeld.

Good evening, O07.

Double jeopardy, Mr Bond.

You killed my only other
double, I'm afraid.

After his death, volunteers were,
understandably, rather scarce.

Such a pity. All that
time and expense

simply to provide you with
one mock-heroic moment.

Willard Whyte speaking.

Yes, Governor. I got your message.

No, I'm afraid a
personal appearance

is quite out of the question.

I'll send a deposition
to the committee.

Thank you, Governor.

Well, that's a neat trick.

A voice box, Mr Bond.

Science was never my strong suit,

but the principle is easy enough.

Someone's voice
patterns and resonance

stored in a small
oral-signature tape.

And a miniature, transistorised
version is installed in his neck.

Or is it his neck? I
never can remember.

Anyway, no matter.
We both sound alike.

My congratulations to you both.

Well. Nice little company.

Explosives, oil, electronics,
houses, aviation.

I've done rather
well with it, too.

Tried to cut some
of the fat off, but

Mr Whyte's a splendid
administrator.

Damn thing runs itself.

I suppose you killed him.

Nothing so melodramatic.

I'm simply holding him in
cold storage, so to speak.

An insurance policy against any

outside interference
with my plans.

The ideal kidnap victim. No one's
seen the man for five years.

Who'd miss someone
who's already missing?

How clever you are, Mr Bond.

Nice to see you haven't lost
that fine mental edge, 007.

Please don't get any
foolish notions.

That missile is not
a practical weapon.

Well, it's hardly
worth the effort.

After all, I wouldn't know
which one of you to kill.

We appreciate your
predicament, Mr Bond.

We deeply sympathise.

Right idea, Mr Bond.

But wrong pussy.

I do so enjoy our
little visits, Mr Bond,

however potentially
painful they may be.

But I'm afraid this one
has come to an end.

What do you intend to
do with those diamonds?

An excellent question.

And one which will be hanging on
the lips of the world quite soon.

If I were to break
the news to anyone,

it would be to you
first. You know that.

But it's late, I'm tired,

and there's so much left to do.

Good night, Mr Bond.

Well, go on, go on.
It's merely a lift.

Or perhaps I should
say "elevator".

In any event, I'm sure you'll
find it much more convenient

than mountaineering about
outside the Whyte House.

You press L, Mr Bond.

The word "lobby" begins with L.

If at first you don't
succeed, Mr Kidd...

Try, try again, Mr Wint.

One of us smells like a
tart's handkerchief.

I'm afraid it's me. Sorry
about that, old boy.

I don't mind the
cockamamie machine

breaking down twice a day.

But why the hell does
it always have to

be 500 yards away from
the nearest hatch?

All right, Charlie. It's
your turn to play hunchback.

Thank you very much.

I was just out walking my rat
and I seem to have lost my way.

Willard Whyte speaking.

This is Bert.

We got a problem.

What's wrong with your
voice? Got a cold?

Never mind about that.

I just saw James
Bond in the casino.

- That's impossible.
- Come and see for yourself.

Hey, listen.

If he's half the genius they say
he is, we're in for real trouble.

Calm down, Bert.

It's a cinch he's
not working alone.

This place must be crawling
with agents by now.

I think we should
move Willard Whyte.

Nonsense.

Mr Whyte is perfectly safe
at his own summerhouse.

It's on the ridge, about
ten miles out of town.

I'm a little surprised, Bert.
It's not like you to panic.

I just don't enjoy messing around
with a guy as tough as James Bond.

Never mind James Bond. You
get down to that house.

I'm afraid Mr Whyte has suddenly
outgrown his usefulness.

- Do it cleanly, Bert.
- Don't worry.

Just leave everything to me.

That ridiculous contraption
actually seems to work, Q.

You've surpassed
yourself this time.

Not a bit of it. Made one of these
for the kids last Christmas.

Maxwell, James and I
will head for the house.

Get set to hit the penthouse
as soon as we find Whyte.

Let me speak to Metz.

There's been a change. Push all
plans forward by 24 hours.

I'm joining you immediately.

Give me five minutes
to get up there

and five minutes to find Whyte.

Are you sure you know
what you're doing?

Ask me again in ten minutes' time.

Tell Maxwell to stand by
to hit the penthouse.

Well, hi there.

I'm Bambi.

Good morning Bambi.

And I'm Thumper.

Is there something
we can do for you?

I can think of several
things offhand but

at the moment I'm looking
for Willard Whyte.

Oh, Willie.

Why, he's, er, right out there.

And, er, that's all
there is to it?

Not quite.

First, we're gonna have a ball.

All yours, Bambi.

You're on again, Bambi.

Thumper...

Yah.

Hello, Felix.

Willard Whyte is about
to be executed,

and guess who's giving
breaststroke lessons.

- Where the hell is Whyte?
- I haven't found out yet.

Still haven't found out.

Right.

FBI?

- CIA?
- No.

British Intelligence,
Mr Whyte. James Bond.

I see you've met my
friends, Bambi and Thumper.

Yes, we did have a bit of a chat.

What the hell's happened to me
and what can I do about it?

Let's get out of here first and
I'll explain it to you en route.

Tell Maxwell to hit
the penthouse...

Aaargh.

Saxby.

- Bert Saxby?
- Yeah.

Tell him he's fired.

Hi there, Mr Q. Are
you having any luck?

I'm being somewhat
successful, thank you.

Listen, Mr Q. I was wondering.

Have you heard any talk about me

from Felix or James?

No, I'm afraid not.

I guess I'm working for
the good guys now,

but I'm two steps away from the
slammer if they want me there.

I thought you might be able
to put in a good word.

That's unbelievable.

An electromagnetic RPM controller.

Been aching to give
it a try. You see,

pressure on the case when
the desired symbols appear

causes the rotation
of the cylinders to

stutter at the precise
moment needed to...

Cab, lady?

Well, well, well. Look
what the cat dragged in.

I'm delighted to
meet you, Miss Case.

I'd so dreaded the prospect of
making this tedious journey alone.

This way, Mr Whyte.

It was right here.

About six feet high,
with a solar panel.

It had these aerofoils
that seemed to...

Draw it for me.

Was Dr Metz on your
payroll, Mr Whyte?

No. But I heard of him.
Everybody in our business has.

The world's leading expert
on laser refraction.

A committed idealist to peace.

And how in the hell
Blofeld got his

hooks in him, I will never know.

How did he get security clearance
to work here in the first place?

From you, sir. I talked to
you personally about it.

I even recognised
your voice just now.

I'm sure I must've told you

not to keep the usual duplicate
microfilm records of the project.

Exactly, sir.

Tom, what did I tell
you to do with this?

Send it to Vandenberg, sir.

Well, get 'em on the phone, now.

Yeah?

You won't believe this.

- Willard Whyte for you.
- Wow.

- This is a real honour, sir.
- Shove your honour.

Where's that satellite
I sent down there?

Blasted off 24 minutes ago, sir.

Perfect trajectory.
All systems go. We

expect to enter orbit
right on the nose.

- Wait. Something's happened.
- Just a moment.

The scanners have gone crazy.

Premature first-stage separation.

It doesn't make sense.

Stand by to abort.

We can't control it, sir.

Abort it.

It's negative.

We can't. Something's taken
over the guidance system.

It's as if it had a
will of its own.

And there's not a damn
thing we can do about it.

We're working on it. I'll
call you back, Mr Whyte.

Well, whatever it is, your friend
Blofeld's controlling it now.

A vast supply of
diamonds manipulated

by an expert in light refraction.

The first laser beam was
generated through a diamond.

And if old Metz deserves
his reputation,

the power of that thing
could be incredible.

And Blofeld's got it.

- Where is it now?
- Approaching North Dakota.

Alert Strategic Air Command.

Gimme an open line to SAC.

Attention all personnel.
Attention all personnel.

We have a red alert. Stand
by for emergency procedure.

Willard Whyte.

Yes, General.

One of our missiles
just "accidentally"

blew up in North Dakota.

Whatever's happening,
Mr Bond, has started.

Is this your herd?

Mr Whyte, phone call
from Washington.

- Urgent.
- I'll catch it in the John.

- What about Blofeld?
- Not a trace.

We found a tunnel.
We'll check it out.

Where's Tiffany?

Do you mind if we
find Blofeld first?

Come on. Let's hit that tunnel.

Aaaarrghhhh.

Well, Washington just got word
from your friend with the cat.

Would you believe that this whole

damn country is being
held for ransom

and we've got till noon
tomorrow to pay up?

So that's it. Well, I'm
sure you won't be alone.

An international auction,

with nuclear supremacy going
to the highest bidder.

Tell me, what does he need
to control that satellite?

A simple set of tapes fed
into a computer bank.

All he really needs is a building.

And these tapes? Large or small?

Conceivably any size.

From six inches to a cassette.

Assuming he's still using
your empire as a cover,

Blofeld could be
anywhere on this map.

From Alaska to Florida.

From Maine to Oregon.

From Texas to Baja California.

Baja?

I haven't got anything in Baja.

There is still no
official explanation

of the apparent nuclear accidents
in North Dakota and Russia.

Presidential news secretary John
Fenner refused comment on a report

that an emergency meeting of the

Joint Chiefs of Staff
is in session.

It is believed the
United States and the

Soviet Union have
assured each other

that no offensive action has
been taken by either nation.

Reports of another
nuclear accident

in Red China are as
yet unconfirmed.

Two more submarines have taken
up position not ten miles away.

Are those military aircraft
going to stand off forever?

What if they won't accept our
ultimatum? What if they attack?

Calm yourself, Metz. This farcical

show of force was
only to be expected.

The Great Powers flexing
their military muscles

like so many impotent beach boys.

I deeply regret my
threat to destroy

a major city unless they give in,

but the nuclear powers,
like all bullies,

can only be intimidated by force.

But how can you...

They still have an
hour left to reply.

One hour for both of us to achieve

our common dream:
total disarmament

and peace for the world.

Sir, there's a single
plane approaching.

Range?

Two miles, and closing.

Stage One alert, please.

Command Centre.

All crew to Stage One.

Up the top. Second platform.

There he is.

- Aim.
- Hold your fire.

All recovery crew
personnel, proceed

to docking level and stand by.

Good morning, gentlemen. The
Acme Pollution Inspection.

We're cleaning up the
world. We thought

this was a suitable
starting point.

How disappointing. I expected one
head of state, at the very least.

Surely you haven't come
to negotiate, Mr Bond?

Your pitiful little island
hasn't even been threatened.

Search him from his
toenails to the last

follicle on his head.
Then bring him to me.

I do so hate martial music.

As usual, Mr Bond, you
were absolutely right.

You guessed correctly
that that box

contained the satellite
control tape

and you came aboard presumably
hoping to substitute this

for the real thing.

So sorry to have ruined the
line of your suit for nothing.

Talking about lines, which one
did you use on Miss Case?

She has taken a
reasonable attitude.

Like any sensible animal, she's
only threatening when threatened.

Well, it appears that you're
holding all the aces.

Right down to the
dragon lady here.

Jealousy? From you, Mr Bond?

I'm flattered.

As La Rochefoucauld observed:

"Humility is the worst
form of conceit."

I do hold the winning hand.

Why don't you let me take you on
a little tour of our facilities?

Your chance to see the
real tape once again.

Can I tag along, Ernst?

I'd put something on over
that bikini first, my dear.

I've come too far to
have the aim of my crew

affected by the sight
of a pretty body.

No word yet from anyone.

Only 12 minutes left.

Oh, well. I suppose a little
gentle prodding is called for.

As you see, Mr Bond, the
satellite is at present over

Kansas.

Well, if we destroy
Kansas, the world

may not hear about it for years.

Perhaps New York. All
that smut and traffic.

It would give them a
chance for a fresh start.

Washington, DC. Perfect.

Since we have not heard from
them, they will hear from us.

- See to it, Metz.
- Er, Washington. Right.

And this, presumably, is the
control bank with the coded tape.

Right again, Mr Bond.

All satellites are
controlled by a coded tape.

The trick is, of course,
to have the code.

Obviously.

It all seems so perfectly
simple. I suppose

one just presses that
and out it pops.

Put it back, Mr Bond.

Immediately.

Hi, Ernst.

Is Superman giving
you any trouble?

Put it back very carefully.

You've suddenly become
tiresome, Mr Bond.

Target fixed. Commence countdown.

Ten minutes and counting.

Take him away and throw
him in the brig.

And search him again,
just to make sure.

Bitch.

Come on.

Your problems are
all behind you now.

Stop him.

Nine minutes and counting.

I did it. I switched the
tape in the machine.

You stupid twit. You put
the real one back in.

Come on, let's go.

A weather balloon.

- What do you think, Mr Leiter?
- That must be the signal.

There isn't a low-pressure area

within 200 miles
of here. Let's go.

This is Charlie One to Squadron.

Charlie One to Squadron. Ready
all guns and proceed to target.

I repeat: proceed to target.

Roger, Charlie One. Out.

Come on, Bond. Get the
hell off that rig.

Eight minutes and counting.

Unidentified aircraft approaching
rapidly. Range five miles.

But I don't understand.

- You said they wouldn't attack.
- The balloon was a signal.

The stupid fools must think Mr
Bond has accomplished his mission.

- Activate defences.
- Activate defences.

Seven minutes and counting.

This is Charlie One.

Commence attack.

Commence attack.

Six minutes and counting.

Get them on the radio, Blofeld.

- Tell them we give up.
- Give up?

I've waited too long
for this moment.

They'll pay dearly for
making a fool out of me.

I see it all now. You don't
give a damn about peace.

- All you care about...
- Shut up, Metz.

Tiffany, my dear.

We're showing a bit more
cheek than usual, aren't we?

Take her below and lock
her up with Mr Bond.

What a pity. Such
nice cheeks, too.

If only they were brains.

Destroy this, Metz.

Five minutes and counting.

Four minutes and counting.

Tell them we surrender.
This is utter madness.

One more word, Metz, and I'll have
you shot. Get back to your post.

Prepare my bathosub immediately.

Three minutes and counting.

All systems interlock.

Bathosub to crane. Commence lift.

Two minutes and counting.

Power and breathing systems on.

Release catch is open

Lower away.

Bathosub to crane. Lower away.

Wake up, man. Lower away.

You stupid idiot. You
could've killed me.

Disengage.

Disengage.

Disengage.

Lower. Not up.

One minute and counting.

Blofeld to Command Centre.

Come in.

Blofeld to Command Centre.

Come in.

Damn you.

Command Centre, come in.

40 seconds and counting.

Get the gun.

- Here.
- Shoot 'em.

Aaarghhhh.

Jump.

Ten... nine...

So long, James. I'll wire M
you're on your way home.

Don't tell him which
direction we've taken.

If you're having a good time,

let the captain know and I'll
have him steam around in circles.

James, there's something
very important

I've been meaning to ask you

about us.

Oh?

I know in a relationship
like ours, the

girl's not supposed
to be the one to ask.

But I can't help it.

And please

think before answering.

That I promise.

James...

There must be some mistake.
I didn't order anything.

No mistake, sir.

On the specific
instructions and with

the compliments of
Mr Willard Whyte.

Oysters Andaluz.

Shashlik.

Tidbits.

Prime rib en jus.

Salade Utopia.

And for dessert,

the piéce de résistance,

La bombe surprise.

That looks fantastic.
What's in it?

Ah, but then there would be no
surprise, would there, madame?

If madam would care to be seated.

Thank you.

This will just take a moment, and
then we will leave you in peace.

Wine, sir?

Mouton Rothschild '55.

- May we begin?
- Please do.

A happy selection, if I may say.

I'll be the judge of that.

That's rather potent. Not
the cork, your aftershave.

Strong enough to bury anything.

But the wine is quite excellent.

Although, for such a grand meal,
I had rather expected a claret.

Of course.

Unfortunately, our
cellar is rather

poorly stocked with clarets.

Mouton Rothschild is a claret.

And I've smelt that
aftershave before.

And both times I've smelt a rat.

Whoaaaah.

Well, he certainly left with
his tails between his legs.

Oh, James.

Oh, yes. What were
you about to ask me?

James...

How the hell do we get
those diamonds down again?

♪ Diamonds are forever ♪

♪ Sparkling round
my little finger ♪

♪ Unlike men, the
diamonds linger ♪

♪ Men are mere mortals who ♪

♪ Are not worth going
to your grave for ♪

♪ I don't need love ♪

♪ For what good will love do me? ♪

♪ Diamonds never lie to me ♪

♪ For when love's
gone they lustre on ♪

♪ Diamonds are forever,
forever, forever ♪

♪ Diamonds are forever,
forever, forever ♪

♪ Forever ♪

♪ And ever ♪