Delta Pi (1984) - full transcript
The Delta Pi sorority is a sort of female Animal House. Constantly strapped for cash, they agree to travel to Las Vegas to participate in a mud-wrestling competition. Of course, this results in many hi-jinks, some even involving their octogenarian house mother.
(upbeat music)
♪ Mighty music light me up tonight ♪
♪ I can feel the good times coming on ♪
♪ Out on the street the
beat is burning bright ♪
♪ And every fantasy is
filled inside a song ♪
♪ Inhibitions slowly slip away ♪
♪ The look inside your
eyes can say it all ♪
♪ You can't fight the magic
of a night like this ♪
♪ Got to get on up give into love ♪
♪ It's easy when you fall ♪
♪ Because it's one more
rhythm to start you dreaming ♪
♪ There's one more groove you can try ♪
♪ Got to keep on dancing
till morning light ♪
♪ Because there's one
more rhythm to write ♪
♪ The band is smoking
smoking to the beat ♪
♪ A perfect time for love is everywhere ♪
♪ And when I hold your body close to me ♪
♪ I know it's more than just
a night we're gonna share ♪
♪ Shining figures dancing in a dream ♪
♪ Boogie about me baby
and bathe in candlelight ♪
♪ This is a moment only love can see ♪
♪ Gotta take a chance on this romance ♪
♪ And never say goodnight ♪
♪ No there's one rhyth
to start you dreaming ♪
♪ There's one more rhythm to try ♪
(horn blows)
(people chatter)
(church bells chime)
- Look.
- Oh my god,
can you believe they would
do something like this?
I wish the dean would
throw them off this campus.
- What are they doing?
- They're messing up this whole block.
- They are degrading to women.
- Oh they're, oh I can't even
think of a word bad enough
to call them, I think that's totally...
(dramatic music)
- [Woman] Hey guys,
breakfast is almost ready!
- Oh god, how can you talk of food,
my mouth tastes like an ashtray.
- Morning fellow paupers.
- Guess we didn't make too
much money last night, huh?
- Are you kidding, after
Benzhadi took his cut,
we made $166.
That won't even pay our
phone bill this month.
Our major should be deficit finances.
- Well like they say
it's hard to mix pleasure
and business.
- Hey Jackie, your daddy's rich,
what's the chance of him
loaning the house some money?
- About as much chance as
we all have of graduating.
- Well but it wouldn't be mad money,
it's for our sorority survival.
- And what makes you think my father
wants to see Delta Pi survive?
I mean, staying here is
the reason I'm cut off.
- Hello loverboy.
- Good morning, how are
things in never never land?
- Oh incredible there's a whole universe
right inside our heads.
- That may be the only
place we have to live
when Benzhadi doesn't get
our check in the mail.
Look it, we've gotta make
some money and real quick.
- Check this out, mud wrestles needed,
big bucks for pretty, sexy girls.
Short hours, no experience necessary.
International Classy promotions,
ask for Shawn or Lane.
- What a great idea.
- A mud wrestler, now
wouldn't that just blow
my old daddy's status conscious mind?
(laughs)
That'll teach him to
cut off his little girl.
- Monica, I don't know how you talked me
into joining this
sorority, some best friend.
- Oh come on, Karen, where's
your old Delta Pi spirit?
- I just wanna find a good man to marry.
- Why this could be the
beginning of the new Delta Pi.
We'll put on our own show
and instead of using
mud we use whipped cream
or something like that.
(girls holler)
And we'll call it the fantasy wrestlers.
- Oh no.
- God the frats will love it.
- Oh what about our house mother?
- You're right, Mugs has
been getting crazy lately.
We've gotta find a way to
get her out of the house.
- Fix her a couple martinis,
that oughta handle it.
(laughs)
- Yeah, she's still out cold somewhere
from last night's soiree.
(girls laugh)
- That's not nice.
Well let's take her to the movies,
she likes the movies.
- Oh what's the difference
she never remembers
anything she sees anyway.
- Monica, get serious,
there's only six of us,
how are we going to
organize everything in time?
- Oh come on old pal, we are
a bunch of resourceful girls.
- Desperate is more like it.
- I might have been a
little bombed last night
but I oh yeah I sure remember
that one of you little ladies
oh yes, you're some kind of wildcat.
(girls laugh)
- I swear to god.
- You sure you weren't smoking one
of Magic's funny cigarettes?
- Ooh maybe found one of my mouse traps.
(girls laugh)
- Floody flowl little
sisters, it's a real woman.
- Hey that's my new nightgown.
(girls laugh)
- Oh my god.
- Looks like wine isn't the only thing
that grows good with age, huh stud.
- If you guys say anything
about this to anybody
I swear I'll kill you.
- 20 bucks, a little volunteer work
and our lips are sealed.
(dramatic music)
- We'll have to get together
again sometime, screamer.
- Screamer. (laughs)
(dramatic music)
(rock music)
♪ Most of these girls
looking for the action ♪
♪ Most of these girls are
looking for the door ♪
♪ Where they go that's
where it happening ♪
♪ Let's have a party tonight ♪
♪ Most of these girls
nothing gonna stop them ♪
♪ Most of these girls putting up a fight ♪
♪ Hold on tight no one can top them ♪
♪ Let's have a party tonight ♪
- Want a ticket?
- No.
- Hey, where's administration?
♪ Till they finally find
what they went after ♪
♪ They got what it
takes to reach the top ♪
♪ So let them show what they can do ♪
♪ Most of these girls are
looking for the action ♪
♪ Most of these girls ♪
♪ Are looking for the action ♪
- Where you going with
that cart, bring that cart back.
♪ Are looking for the door ♪
♪ Where they go that's
where it's happening ♪
♪ Let's have a party tonight ♪
♪ Have a party ♪
- Hi sweetheart,
hi there little floater.
- Oh how you doing?
- Oh look at the nice (indistinct).
- Come here.
- You wanna watch us?
- Look at playing in the water.
- Oh boy.
- Make big waves ooh.
- Yeah, look at that.
- Isn't that nice.
- Have a nice day little girl.
- Is everybody ready to party?
- Yeah!
- How's everybody feeling today?
(crowd cheers)
Are you ready to party!
(crowd cheers)
Are you sure!
(crowd cheers)
Are you positive?
(crowd cheers)
We're gonna have a great show here today
and I wanna thank you all for coming.
(crowd cheers)
- Monica we haven't
even seen the girls yet!
- Down Fido!
(girls cheer)
- Hey Karen you better not let
Teacup see you in that outfit
he'll be in heat for a week.
- Leave me alone, did
you see all those people?
- Yeah, I know isn't it great?
Just think of all the
money we're gonna make.
(girls cheer)
- Yeah, you might even be able to settle
with Benzhadi.
- I just don't hope my poor
parents don't find out.
- [Monica] Here we go, now
for our first competitors.
And LA's lovely lady, Laurie Swisher.
- I'm gonna get a rise
out of them. (laughs)
- [Monica] Sharon Tiller, Sturgis.
- Look out sailors here comes the world.
(audience exclaims)
♪ If you don't want it girl ♪
♪ Oh baby can't love back too ♪
♪ Do you (indistinct) ♪
♪ Tonight you'll love me back ♪
♪ (indistinct) girl (indistinct) ♪
♪ Don't you see that it's serious ♪
♪ I've got this love I've
got to give only to you ♪
♪ My actions seem ♪
- Where do you plan on
finding six good looking babes
who's willing to work on stat.
From all your hokie ads all we got
are a bunch of dogs, burned
out actresses and transexuals.
- Will you relax, we
don't have to be in Vegas
till tomorrow night.
- That's just what I mean.
Look we better deliver those babes
or the promoter's gonna be plenty pissed
and you know what that means,
you and me sprouting cactus
in the middle of the Mojave.
- Ease up, you creative
types, you're all alike.
Look at this, you've plastered
it on every telephone pole
in the area.
Sorority houses, female fantasy wrestlers,
promoters will love it.
- Yeah, but college girls may not drive
such an easy bargain.
- Hey you just get this bus ready on time,
I can handle the women.
(audience cheers)
(funky music)
(horn blows)
- Oh my god, she's home already.
- Thank you young man that was lovely.
- Well just circling the city
can't be all that much fun.
Next time try to remember
where we're supposed
to be going.
- I had a grand time,
it's not often I get to
cruise, what's the tab?
- I already have $70 for
this ripe young specimen
of womanhood.
(audience cheers)
Are you guys really gonna let Gamma house
steel this virgin from you for peanuts?
(audience cheers)
- All the guys from
Gamma have are peanuts!
(audience laughs)
- So what's your bid Long John Silver?
(audience exclaims)
- Mugsy, I'm so glad you're home.
- Hi, I didn't know you
were studying medicine.
Why didn't you tell me you girls
were having the boys over again?
- Hey like I said I need $13.95.
- Oh yeah, well we all got problems
but asking for handouts isn't the answer,
it takes hard work if you
wanna survive in this world.
- What's with the old lady?
- How dare you call me an old lady!
That's the last time I'm
every gonna let you girls
bring anybody from Gamma house.
- What did she escape
from a mental hospital?
- It's just her second childhood.
- Well what about my money?
- Just put it on her tab.
Mugs, why don't we don't go
on out treat you to a martini?
- Oh not any of yours!
- Oh no you can't come in.
- Clear out, get me in here!
What is going on!
What is going on, what is
going on out in the backyard?
(audience cheers)
- I'll bid 80!
(audience cheers)
- There's a man, he's
getting in all that goo.
(audience cheers)
What is this some kind
of a crazy sex ritual?
- Mugs, what do you take us for, come on.
Wrestling is the second
oldest sport in the world.
(audience cheers)
(audience cheers)
- Gosh dang, they might as
well be selling their bodies
out on the street corner.
- I never dreamed being a
house mother was this tough.
I should have never retired
from the Army, that's me.
Come on stop that, stop that!
We gotta get in there,
we gotta get in there.
- Oh now where would you
ever find six crazies
who love you as much as we do?
- Yeah, six crazies love me is one thing,
you don't wanna go to the police
station to love me do you?
People are coming after you
seeing your stupid things,
stop it, stop it.
- Relax.
- Why do...
- Relax, smoke this.
(audience cheers)
- I can't believe we used to associate
with some of those girls.
(audience cheers)
- What kind of house mother
would allow something like.
- Oh dear, what brand is this?
- Homegrown.
- Makes you kinda horny don't it.
(chuckles)
(audience cheers)
- [Monica] Come on Laurie!
(audience cheers)
- Have they no pride?
- I'll show you some pride. (laughs)
(screams)
- [Monica] Look at that girls go!
Oh my god those are the
girls from Sigma Mega!
I knew they'd get down! (laughs)
- I bet you know didn't know
about instructing jiu-jitsu
in the Army services.
- Mugs you never cease to amaze me.
- Great if that gets around
and we're gonna be hearing
your house mother wears Army boots
for the entire next semester.
- I tend to be mighty proud of it,
I love the good old US of A.
Yeah and you know something
I can still show you girls
a trick or two.
I'm coming, here I come,
here I come, you animals!
(audience cheers)
- My god, I think in less than a year,
we've nearly destroyed
that poor woman's mind.
- Ain't nothing wrong with Mugs,
that lady's got style.
(dance music)
- Cool party huh?
(laughs)
- Get your ice cold beer
right here, only 50 cents,
get your ice cold beer.
- Hey I'll get one.
- Dude, she come with a beer.
- (indistinct) and 50 cents.
- Hey you want some.
- Thanks.
- Have a chug.
(boys chatter)
Hey man that's my beer.
Hey man that's my beer.
You can't drink that.
(laughs)
- Go get him, go get him, go
on go get him, you can do it.
- Hey.
- Come on watch out.
- Go man.
- (screams) Looks like you're doing okay.
- I know but every time a guy gets fresh,
I lose a couple of bucks.
- Thank you, thank you.
- Hey buster!
- What's going on!
- It's Benzhadi.
- Hey you're two months late on your loan
and I've just come to collect ladies.
- You oughta be stuffed
in a Hefty bag and dropped
in the LA wash.
- You know I'm against pollution Monica.
- Maybe you forget, you owe me
over 2,000 US of A greenbacks.
I think that requires a little respect.
- We only borrowed 1,000.
- I was there when your
landlord was evicting you
now wasn't I?
I'm sure that you and me
could make some arrangement,
just to help you girls pay
off the interest charges.
- I mailed you the check this morning.
- Yeah sure. (laughs)
What do you take me for a dummy.
(laughs)
- Seal off and attach bra.
Now how am I supposed to seal it off
when you mail order idiots
only gave me one cork, damn!
- What's happening?
Hey Carter, let me have an eye full.
- Looks like she using kind
of a machine (indistinct).
- Look out boys, here comes trouble.
- Hey I'm losing my
grip, I can't hold you!
- Hold me, hold me, don't let go!
- Who's out there?
(window thumps boy's head)
(boy hollers)
- Whoa, whoa!
- Sorry!
(horn blows)
- To Delta Pi, (audience cheers)
the best sorority in the whole damn world,
what's left of it.
- Yeah, I got the bomb!
(audience cheers)
- All right, all right!
- Delta, Delta, Delta, Delta,
Delta, Delta, Delta, Delta!
(audience cheers)
(dance music)
(audience cheers)
- Oh you little manic devil.
(hollers)
- Oh look at that!
(audience cheers)
- Hey man, why don't
you lift up your skirt
and let me give you one of these. (laughs)
(dance music)
(boy hollers)
♪ I try to remember I can't remember ♪
(laughs) (indistinct)
- Hey come on, come on open up!
- Party, come on, right
there, look at this cutie pie.
- Slow down tiger.
- Oh yeah, I bet
she's really doing it.
- [Boy] Hey maybe she's a
nympho maniac or something.
- [Girl] Oh yes.
- Oh that lucky stiff.
- It's my turn, it's my turn.
(girl moans)
You make love to me.
Okay, go ahead, put it in.
What's wrong?
- It's in.
♪ I'm trying to remember,
I can't remember ♪
♪ Try to remember ♪
(audience cheers)
(boys whistle)
- [Boy] Look at those tits,
looks at those tits on her.
- Karen, hello, it seems that your brain
isn't thing developing here at college.
- That's it baby.
- Mugs, have you no shame?
- At my age shame is the last thing
you're worried about losing.
(balloon pops)
(hollers)
What happened?
♪ I try to remember I can't remember ♪
- [Boy] Hey all right, couldn't wait huh?
- [Boy] Come on Carl!
- [Girl] Come on hurry up I gotta go!
- [Boy] I gotta take a leak!
- Couldn't wait, huh?
- Jesus!
- [Boy] Hold on!
- Hey. (laughs)
♪ I try to remember I can't remember ♪
♪ I try to remember but all I remember ♪
♪ Is loving me loving me ♪
♪ All the people all the people ♪
(birds sing)
- I don't know about you
but I'm getting tired
of Mugs hitting on all the frats.
- Oh what's wrong Karen you
can't stand the competition?
(laughs)
- Come on come on, I raise five dollars.
- Come on what good is
money if you can't spend it?
- I'm in.
(laughs)
- Hi ladies, you girls made a
little bit of pocket change,
how'd you like a free trip to
Vegas and make some real cash?
- Vegas.
- Vegas.
- Yep, the only investment on your part
is a little bit of
time, talent and beauty.
- Oh, now that's a heck of a line.
(laughs)
- And who exactly are you man?
- I'm Shawn, this is my pal, Lane.
- Hey, you're the guys that
have the ad in the newspaper,
International Classy Promotions, right?
- Yeah, that's it, now look,
it's a promotional gimmick
and all you gotta do is
wrestle another six girl team,
winner take all, $100,000.
- $100,000 to wrestle. (screams)
- What is this insanity I'm hearing?
- Come on we got the bus
gassed up, we're ready to go.
- So what if we lose?
- Come on we didn't come
here to strike a deal
with a bunch of losers.
- Oh so what you're saying is that
if we don't win we don't get paid, right?
- Hey if you don't win, you
lose a little bit of time.
We're the ones that are out the bucks.
- Yeah, the worst you guys can get
is a free trip to Vegas.
- Hey we can also get
our heads pounded in too.
- Okay, what's the split?
- 50/50.
- 90/10.
You guys need a team a
lot more than we need you.
- Hey come on the one thing
tinsel town is full of
is pretty girls, honey.
- And hustlers.
Like I said what do we need you for?
- 'Cause we're the ones that have the deal
with the promoter.
- And there are a lot of
hustlers that had deals
with the boys in Vegas
that are now just apart
of the Nevada highway.
(laughs)
- Okay who's turn is it?
- Okay, all right, 60/40,
that's my final offer.
(dramatic music)
- Okay hot shot.
(dramatic music)
(girls scream and cheer)
(upbeat music)
- Think fast, you really
invented all this stuff Lame?
- It's Lane, not Lame.
- Oh sorry, slick machine anyway.
- Yeah, but what you really need back here
is one of those vibrating shower heads.
- What kind of a field
trip are we going on?
There's nothing out there
but a lot of sand and cactus.
And these blasted bugs
are gonna eat us alive!
- Well it's time to christen this voyage.
- All right, party time.
- Yeah.
- No, no, no, no not for me, I quit.
Smoking's been doing
very things to me lately.
- Well then how about a brownie,
I made them with own secret recipe.
- Oh well thanks, I don't mind if I do.
- Oh wow, I want a brownie.
(upbeat music)
(dramatic music)
(horn blows)
(screams)
(horn blows)
- Nevada Nasties.
Hey those girls are going to Vegas too.
- Vegas, that's where we're
headed, hey! (hollers)
- Go around, go around.
(girls holler)
- Hey who are those guys?
- I told you the promoter
is gonna replace us.
- Hey come on Lane speed up man,
don't let those guys pass us.
- I'm an inventor not a miracle worker.
- What's going on, I thought you hustlers
already had the deal.
(girls holler)
- Get the hell out the way,
get the hell out of way,
get the hell out the way.
(girls holler)
(dramatic music)
(tires squeal)
- So long suckers.
(horn blows)
(dramatic music)
(girls holler)
(horn blows)
- Oh this is bullshit.
- What kind of game are you two playing?
- Look I don't know
what's going on either.
We got no reason to lie to you.
There's no way we're gonna
dig this out in time.
- Whoever that guy is he's
trying to move in on our deal.
Oh Shawn I'm always a day
late and a dollar short.
- Hey.
Hey does that thing you built really fly?
- Well, according to my
calculations it might.
- Are you crazy, that things nothing
but a pile of scrap.
- Hey partner, you sure
you don't want me to go?
If anything ever happened to
you I'd never forgive myself.
- Oh what a buddy, but
you can't fly either,
besides, if this doesn't work
those girls and that old
broad will probably kill you.
(motor runs)
(dramatic music)
(girls cheer)
(horn blows)
(dramatic music)
(engine runs)
(dramatic music)
(dramatic music)
So long suckers!
Las Vegas here we come!
(country music)
- Slow down!
Hey how about a ride!
Come on slow down, give
us a ride, we need a ride!
- What the hell is that, oh shit!
(tires squeal)
(dramatic music)
(dramatic music)
(engine runs)
(metal breaks)
(engine sputters)
(dramatic music)
(engine sputters)
- Get out of the way!
Oh shit!
(aircraft crashes)
(audience chatters)
- Man you all right, is he okay?
Is he all right?
(audience chatters)
- [Man] He was in the
airplane when he came by
I thought he was gonna kill me.
And I just blow off my raft
and I start swimming you know
and then pow pow he hit.
- Hey kid you do make
a hell of an entrance.
- I'm sorry, my fighters are
stranded on the edge of town.
I was just worried you
guys would replace us.
- Cupcake and I were just talking.
Fast talking kid like you
could pick up a team anywhere.
- Hey my word is good.
You don't know how much
this means to these girls.
I mean, they've been training like crazy.
They even fought a warm up match
at the university they attend.
- Hey this oughta be a
hell of a match, Cupcake.
I see here where your
competition has just arrived.
The Nevada Nasties, (laughs)
would you like to say hello to them.
- Nevada Nasties, huh?
- And they're real sore losers.
- Well I'm sure the girls
will be just thrilled.
- Just understand one thing kid,
this is my show, don't get funny.
You might just wind up at
the bottom of Hoover Dam.
- Without any scuba gear.
(dramatic music)
- [Man] Kapeesh?
- Don't worry about me fellas.
- Hey smart kid.
(dramatic music)
(upbeat music)
(girls holler)
- Ooh, Las Vegas, (indistinct).
- Hey we're here, yeah!
♪ I try to remember try to remember ♪
♪ Try to remember ♪
- Good luck.
(laughs)
- Oh wait till my folks hear about this.
(girls hollers)
- Monica, Laurie.
I think we hit the spot.
- The tow truck radioed back
that they couldn't find you.
And why 'cause you guys
are too damn busy partying.
- What are you talking about,
the guy was good enough to pull us out
and tow us all the way here,
what's the matter with you?
- I think someone's jealous.
- Oh bullshit, this is business honey.
Where's Lane?
(laughs)
- He's on the bus resting
his eyes, Mugsy drove.
- Hi Shawn.
- Lane.
(dramatic music)
- Care for a bite?
(girls laugh)
(upbeat music)
(girls holler)
(girls laugh)
- Some team, what a
bunch of losers. (laughs)
- Magic was smoking a joint.
Sharon can't keep her hands off the slots.
Laurie can't keep her hands to herself.
And we have to carry Mugs
and Lane to their rooms.
- So we celebrated a little bit too much,
it's our first night in Vegas.
- Look I know better than to ask you
to start getting the
girls to start training,
but how about you just keep them out
of trouble for awhile, huh?
I mean, the promoters do not
have a good sense of humor here.
- Hey neither do I, we were told
all the arrangements were
made when we left LA.
- Well they were.
The team that sideswiped us today
is the team we have to fight.
- You mean, I've got to
fight those queen cons.
- You guys are real
gems, you didn't tell us
we were gonna be freak fighting.
- I saw the other team
for the first time today too you know.
I mean, quit treating me
like I'm some mercenary
of something would you?
- Jeeze, he's even more
high strung than you Karen.
(dramatic music)
- Boy I feel lucky tonight,
did you feel the electricity
in the casino?
- Yeah, and I saw some cute
cowboys with some big wads.
(dramatic music)
(door slams)
- Here kitty, kitty, kitty,
kitty, over here kitty!
(dramatic music)
(upbeat music)
(girls holler)
I knew (indistinct).
- All right.
- Ca-ching. (hollers)
(girls chatter)
- Is this something, is this something?
- I had a 10 here, somebody stole my 10.
- You ladies are gonna have to
(indistinct) here,
if you wanna play, (indistinct).
- But this is no fun.
- Hey Dicky, how you doing?
- Good Sharon, how are you?
- You two know each other?
- Sure Dicky's gonna do a story about us
in his newspaper.
- Well, I only work for the paper,
I'm doing an article on the fight
and I thought it would be very interesting
if I featured the Delta Pi girls.
- You sure you don't work
for some dirty magazines or something.
- Oh Mugs, come on look
at him he's harmless.
- Yeah, they're the ones you can't trust.
(upbeat music)
♪ We are the proud girls of Delta Pi ♪
♪ Our grades may be low
but our spirits are high ♪
♪ (indistinct) mighty chick ♪
♪ Have a drink for out thoughts
start feeling our kicks ♪
(girls holler)
- [Girl] You drink too much.
(upbeat music)
(girls chatter)
(upbeat music)
(girls holler)
- Well, (laughs) that
little group of yours
really gave us a gold bomb last night.
- What can I say, you know,
they're a little excited.
They've never been to Las Vegas.
- Well why don't you tell
the Maxim Hotel that.
They're just about ready
to cancel my whole event.
You know kid, you're lucky as
hell with this sorority thing,
it's got us a lot of press.
- You know that's right.
I heard the vetters are picking us
as the favorites.
- Oh well I did drop the word
that you were wringers from LA.
(laughs)
Hey kid, come on, you and I both know,
you ain't got snowball's
chance in hell. (laughs)
- What do you mean?
- Well I've decided
I'm gonna give you kids a
$5,000 consolation prize.
Now you just have the
girls put on a good show
and then go happily home with
their second place ribbons.
- You're asking me to throw the fight.
- I'm not asking, look kid,
I'm betting your $5,000
on the Nevada Nasties at three to one.
That is 15 big ones, think about it.
- That wasn't our deal,
you don't understand
those girls trusted me.
- I don't give a shit about
all this competition angle.
Hey kid take a look out there,
that is Las Vegas, not
Madison Square Garden.
I'm a promoter, I'm a gambler,
everybody knows wrestling is fixed.
Think about it kid.
(slow dramatic music)
- Look you guys $15,000
bucks for coasting your way
for an all expense paid trip
to Las Vegas is not that bad.
- Yeah, our share would be $9,000,
we could square things up with Benzhadi
and prepay our rent for
the next six months.
- What they're asking us
to do is throw the fight.
- Yeah and to a bunch of real douche bags.
- Those sons of bitches,
a swift kick in the ass
is what they need, what fight?
- Are you all crazy, those
other girls are animals,
I bet they feed them
raw meat for breakfast.
- No.
- We came here to win,
if we lose to the hotel
they'll never know the difference anyway.
And we still collect the $15,000.
If we win, they have to pay us.
The hotel couldn't stand the bad press
of welching on a bunch of sorority girls.
- Oh my god, we're gonna sprouting cactus
in the middle of the desert.
- Don't you see with our cut of $100,000,
we could easily pay off Benzhadi
and maybe even put a down
payment on our house.
- All right, no more
first of the month blues.
- Delta Pi owning it's own house.
- Let's go for it, whatever it is!
(upbeat music)
(girls cheer)
Move it, lift a leg, hurry,
have a big game today!
Get a spring into your
legs for those chumpchas.
Keep those (indistinct).
Hey come on, now, get on Dicky,
get those juices flowing again.
- I can't, besides I should
be taking pictures of them.
- All right, jump, jump up, reach the sky.
Get up!
- She's flipped her switch.
- I think we've unleashed a monster.
- Oh god.
- Come on, come on, get to sweating it.
- Hello Karen you look swell.
- You get it Delta Pi,
nobody's higher than Delta Pi,
come on easy bite my dust.
♪ Delta Pi ♪
♪ The girls from Delta Pi ♪
♪ Gonna black the Nasties eye ♪
- Girls jump up high, come on.
(girls sing)
♪ Changes forgetting
all about the changes ♪
- Gotta keep those muscles warm.
♪ We're gonna fight to make some changes ♪
♪ Changes ♪
♪ Knowing that your dream is inside ♪
♪ You gotta take the tow of the line ♪
♪ Making some changes here tonight ♪
- One, two, one, two,
bring it up, bring it up,
that's right, oh you look too very sexy.
- Get it up girls, get it up.
Mike slow down!
- Will you pay attention,
hey, hey, come on!
(girls holler)
- Come on we're racing, slow down!
You're gonna wear us out,
we gotta have a fight today.
(crashes)
(girls holler)
- Mike that's crazy!
- Damn pedestrians!
That's it one, two, legs
up, legs up, that's right!
(tires squeal)
Oh you look very sexy, very sexy,
all of you look sexy it's all about.
There you go.
All right, all right, come
on yeah, come on yeah,
there's the girls that ever
were, one, two, oh you act silly
don't be so tired.
(girls hollers)
Nice fresh air, nice fresh
air, got a lot of fresh air.
- Well a good vitamin
B and cow's liver shot,
some bee pollen, we'll get
your adrenaline rushing.
- Yeah, that's gonna loosen
you up, you're gonna be great.
Ooh, boy those muscles, (indistinct).
(girl hollers)
- Oh boy I smell a double cross here.
I call for the enforcer.
We're gonna pull out all the stops.
- Them college kids ain't real smart.
- Cupcake, I want you to get pud
and make sure everything is gonna my way
otherwise the big boys back east
are gonna have our asses.
- You got it boss.
- And right after the fight,
I don't care what you do
to those two punks and their
troop of little merry...
Goddamnit!
What the hell was that?
- Was that a jackrabbit?
- Why don't you shut up!
Jesus Christ all he did
was piss all over my boot.
- Calm down boss, calm down.
- I'll calm down, okay, I'm
calmed down, I'm calmed down.
Relax, relax, relax.
What the hell, that's rabbit shit!
I want that furry little bastard stuffed
and put on my desk.
And I'll be goddamned if Jack Enoff's
gonna take shit from anyone.
Dukie our enforcer had
better get here quick.
Jackrabbit oh boy.
(dramatic music)
(musical horn blows)
- Dukie's here.
Listen, babe I want you to do me a favor.
You park the car out front,
I want the ladies to know
the party's back in town.
- Yes sir.
- All right.
And pal, be careful
not to scratch the 16 coat
lacquer paint job will you?
And don't let any ladies
sit on my horn this time.
(jazz music)
- Hey come on, it's not all that bad.
- If anything happens to Mugsy
or the rest of the girls,
I'll never forgive myself.
- I won't let anything happen, okay?
- You don't care what happens to us.
All you guys care about is
padding your own pockets.
- Look I understand how you feel,
but you're wrong, Lane
and I have our last dime
riding on this thing.
- Our landlord is preparing
our eviction notice right now.
And there's probably
some Iranian loan shark
putting out a reward on us all.
- What happened to all
the money you girls made?
- We still came up 1,000 short.
So I thought I'd try
my luck at the tables.
- Listen, there'll be
plenty of time for that
after the fight.
Besides even if we don't
win we still make a bundle.
- You really do care what
happens to us don't you?
- I do.
Hey we're partners now right?
(woman moans)
- Wow, you're some kisser, Karen.
- What do you expect when you
just sweep me off my feet?
- Oh it was nothing Scarlet,
a gentlemen never lets
a lady be depressed.
Oh that stupid electric
toilet's overflowing again.
- I got it from the mail order catalog.
- Karen, I didn't know you
were into model rocketry.
Wow I never seen a pink
rocket ship before.
(mimics plane noises)
- [Man] Win now to (indistinct).
- Come on folks, don't quit me now.
- Come on.
- Hear the girl now,
(indistinct) need to win.
- Come on, come on!
- Oh gee that was nice.
(girls laugh)
(chatters)
(slow music)
- Okay, let's let them all ride.
(girls chatter)
- Come on.
- Please.
- Oh man, come on (indistinct)
oh man, oh man, come on.
Oh damn.
- Well (indistinct) and we (indistinct)
new shooter coming out now.
- Oh shit.
- Tough luck girls.
- Oh so what else is new.
- I'm Ashley Duke the third, talent scout
and star maker.
What do you girls say I get room service
to rush a little of the bubbly
up to my penthouse suite,
we can have an intimate little card game,
watch the sun rise, get a feel
for each other's energies.
It'll give you a chance
to change your luck.
- No, I've gotta find my rabbit.
- I got some great grass, sexy.
- Oh yeah, you got a hit.
- Oh how about the bucks?
- Darling I got anything you need.
- Ooh.
- I ran out (indistinct) roll
the dice now, pay to win,
you hit again, gotta
come back, feel that hey.
- Lane did you get some of the clothes
out of the girls' suitcases?
- Yeah, and their
luggage is already loaded
on the bus.
- Great, hey look, make sure
that thing's wired up in time
and get the ultralite
ready to fly would you?
- Hey Shawn do you really
think we'll have to
resort to this?
- Listen pal this is one card game
we can't bluff ourselves out of.
(slow jazz music)
- [Dukie] I'll raise you 20.
- I think you're bluffing.
Here's your 20 and I'll up you 20.
- Can't get blood out
of a turnip, I'm out.
- Hey Magic are you in or not?
- No, these cards stink, I gotta go potty.
- You know what they say about champaign,
you never really own it just rent it.
(laughs)
- All right, I'll call four aces.
- I can't believe this.
- You're a pretty good
poker player, Dr. Duke.
- Yeah, well wait till
he gets those panties
and I bet he really starts playing poker.
- Oh my god.
Teacup.
Oh my baby, where have you been?
Mama's missed you.
I miss you you little sweet.
Magic trick cards.
- We gotta get down and party.
Girls this stuff is gonna
knock your socks off.
- They already are off stupid.
(laughs)
- Ah, now, now, don't
be a poor loser baby,
mas, mas, come on.
- Oh girls I think there is
something you should know.
Dukers you've been cheating.
- Come on stop this car
we were just having a little harmless fun.
(girls hollers)
(upbeat music)
(engine revs)
- Look out!
(tires squeal)
(upbeat music)
- Hey, my car, that's Dukie's car.
(upbeat music)
♪ You're history ♪
♪ History ♪
♪ You're history ♪
(girls holler)
It was just a game, I was just playing.
♪ History ♪
- Come on, let's go Magic.
♪ We're the girls from Delta Pi ♪
♪ We're the girls from Delta Pi ♪
♪ Won't take shit from any guy ♪
♪ Don't take shit from any guy ♪
- Hey you guys here, tipsy.
(girls laughs)
♪ Ashley you just cheat at poker ♪
♪ Ashley you just cheat at poker ♪
♪ He ain't nothing but a horny joker ♪
♪ He ain't nothing but a horny joker ♪
- You all crazy!
(girls holler)
(upbeat music)
(tires squeal)
♪ You're history ♪
(girls holler)
(car crashes)
(girls holler)
- What the hell?
(indistinct)
- [Girl] So there's nothing
about this nerd that's real.
- Make him eat it!
- Here sucker.
- Hey you still owe me 20 bucks worth.
- You can't do this to
me I'm the enforcer!
- Oh sucker.
- (indistinct) how you tried to cheat us
and run us down (indistinct).
(girls hollers)
- [Dukie] You'll pay for this.
(bell chimes)
(audience cheers)
(dramatic music)
- Ladies and gentlemen
welcome to ring side
at the beautiful Maxim
Hotel in Las Vegas Nevada
where today we present the
female mud wrestling championship
of the world.
(dramatic music)
(audience claps)
- This is it, 100,000 big
ones, no way we can lose,
you guys are (indistinct).
- Hey has anybody seen Karen?
- Yeah, I saw her about
a half an hour ago,
but she was sick to her stomach.
Maybe she's in the ladies room.
- Oh I wish Shawn would get here.
- [Announcer] For your
information fans, today...
- Shawn I don't wanna
be found dead like this.
- [Announcer] To make
the wrestling conditions
more difficult.
(slaps face)
- Why'd I let you talk me
into this wild schemes.
- Will be in affect today
regarding technical (indistinct).
- What he's trying to tell us
is dirty fighting's allowed.
- [Announcer] And five
points to be awarded
for pinning both shoulders
of an opponent to the mat
for three seconds.
- Hello, Shawn, what a nice dress.
- Well we need a disguise,
those boom breakers
are liable to hold us hostage
till this thing's over.
- I think you're kinda cute.
- Delta Pi sorority Miss Laurie Swisher.
(audience cheers)
And in the blue corner her opponent,
one of the Nevada Nasties,
known as the mistress of pain and kink,
here's the mulling mama.
(audience cheers)
(hollers)
- You stand and kick oh
you gotta (indistinct).
- [Announcer] Now ladies
take your positions
and at the bell come out wrestling.
(dramatic music)
(girls holler)
(audience claps)
(girls holler)
(audience cheers)
(laughs)
(hollers)
- One, two, three.
(bell rings)
- And to think that
hustler had me believing
he could beat that team of killers
I had you put together in LA.
- Maybe these broads decided
to throw the fights, after all huh?
- Well they look pretty
damn convincing to me.
We didn't need to take any provisions.
- (indistinct) Go faster.
- The sophisticated Jacklyn
Rothschild the Third.
(audience claps and cheers)
(upbeat music)
And her opponent in the blue corner,
one of the Nevada Nasties,
known as the wrestling cowgirl,
Cactus Kelly.
(dramatic music)
- Weirdest damn game I ever watched.
Hell first thing I taught you
girls was hand to hand combat.
- I can't Karen anywhere.
- I'll take a whiff she's gone AWOL.
- Oh not Karen, she wouldn't let us down.
- I know she's a chicken
but she'd never quit on us.
- You remember suppose we win
the consolation prize now.
- [Announcer] Now ladies
take your positions
and at the bell come out wrestling.
(dramatic music)
(bell rings)
(upbeat music)
(girls holler)
(audience cheers)
(girls holler)
(upbeat music)
(girls holler)
(audience cheers)
One, two.
- [Man] Come on count faster.
Three.
(bell rings)
(audience cheers)
(hollers)
- Get those tricks in, I
knew you had it in you,
I knew it, I knew it, I knew it.
(upbeat music)
- [Announcer] And now
friends let's please welcome
young lady wrestling
for Delta Pi sorority,
their very own irrepressible
mystic lady, Magic.
(audience cheers)
And her opponent the woman
of steel herself, Fang.
(growls)
(growls)
(dramatic music)
(laughs)
- Come here kitty, kitty, come on kitty.
- [Lane] Magic, you're
gonna do it, you're gonna.
- Kitty, kitty, come here, catch this!
(hollers)
(dramatic music)
(audience cheers)
(bell chimes)
- [Announcer] Well fans
I see you like that one,
you just wait and see what
else we have in store for you.
(audience cheers)
Now fans have a big hands
for the fearless leader
of the Delta Pi girls, the lovable Monica.
(audience cheers)
(upbeat music)
And her opponent the well endowed
and appropriately named Lungs.
(cracks whip)
(audience cheers)
- I never knew college
could be so much fun, oh.
- Put an itching powder on the
broad's bathing suits, huh?
- (laughs) You rascal you.
- What now?
(audience cheers)
- You're gonna be good, my darling,
you're gonna be wonderful, I love you go.
(whip snaps)
Bitch.
(dramatic music)
- Come on, come on, girl,
give her a little one two.
- Watch it girls, watch it, watch it.
Be careful.
(girls holler)
(hollers)
- [Girl] Monica get her, get
in her count has done started.
- One, two, three. (whistle blows)
(bell rings)
- Well now that's what
I call getting real down
and dirty.
- (laughs) Looks to me like
they're getting the shit
kicked out of them. (laughs)
(upbeat music)
- [Announcer] And now friends
it's my pleasure to present
to you Delta Pi sorority's
answer to Bruce Lee,
the tenacious Sharon Sturgis.
(upbeat music)
(audience cheers)
Now presenting our very
own exotic Dragon Lady.
(dramatic music)
(audience cheers)
(audience claps)
(audience cheers)
- No problem.
(dramatic music)
(audience cheers)
(girls hollers)
- Come on Sharon get her arm!
(girl hollers)
(audience cheers)
(dramatic music)
- One, two.
Three.
- Yeah, I told you so!
(audience cheers)
Yeah, just (indistinct) a little bit
of dirt on you.
- They sure did,
they sure did.
(indistinct)
- We want foxy girl, we want
foxy girl, we want foxy girl
we want foxy girl, we want
foxy girl, we want foxy girl
we want foxy girl, we want
foxy girl, we want foxy girl!
- It's just not like Karen.
- We sure have been through a lot to lose.
- Karen by default to those bums.
- Well look at it this
way, the Tattooed Lady
would probably just
destroyed Karen anyway.
- Hey why doesn't Shawn or Lane go in.
I mean, nobody's seen Karen anyways.
- Give me a break.
- It has to be a member
of our sorority anyway.
- And now fighting out of the red corner,
one of Mugsy's girls, Karen Dilly.
(audience cheers)
(upbeat music)
- Oh no.
(dramatic music)
- [Announcer] And her opponent
one of the Nevada Nasties
here's Terrible Tawny.
- I'll grab it and break it off like this.
Oh I'm hungry!
- [Announcer] Okay ladies
take your positions
and come out fighting at the bell.
(growls)
- What the hell is that?
- You little pipsqueak,
I'm gonna break you in two,
I'm gonna lift you up and crush you down,
you're gonna be nothing but a pile of mud
by the time I get through with you.
- You may be up there,
I'm down here (growls)
I'll get you, I'll get you where it hurts.
- Get in here, come on,
I'm waiting for you.
- Okay, you overstuffed cartoon.
♪ You know when the odds
are stocked against you ♪
- Poor Mugsy.
♪ And you're about to lose it all ♪
♪ Into the wheel of fortune paradise ♪
(audience cheers)
♪ And you're riding hot
'cause your heart is hot ♪
(audience cheers)
♪ You lack devotion ♪
- This means war.
♪ In the heat of the night ♪
♪ You know there's
nothing else you can do ♪
♪ You've gotta take a
long shot long shot ♪
- Where did she go.
- Watch out Mugsy.
(punches)
(audience cheers)
- One, two, three.
The winning team, Mugsy's Girls.
(audience applause)
- You get me the enforcer
and have him bring the girl
out back now.
(girls cheer)
- [Shawn] We're ready to get out of here.
- [Mugsy] Hey best damn
time I had in 50 years.
- [Girl] Hey we're missing some people.
- Oh Lane's gonna check out for Karen,
he oughta catch up with us in a bit.
(tires squeal)
Here comes trouble,
everyone stay on the bus.
(dramatic music)
- Why that little creep.
- I knew we should hung
old Ashley Duke the Third
by his neck.
- I knew you wouldn't let us leave,
not without saying goodbye.
- The money punk, I'm just about tired
of playing with your group now.
- Should have played it smart, kid.
- Oh I did, I did.
One push of this little button here pal
and that cute little
sleek motor home of yours
goes sky high.
- I guess you expect us
to believe that shit huh?
- I don't lie.
(laughs)
- They've got Karen.
- Oh poor Karen.
- Kidnapping a sorority sister.
- Hi kid, you're a smart boy,
I'll give you the girl back
if you give me the money.
- Monica, bring out the money.
- Keep Mugsy in the bus,
come on Magic help me us.
- Good boy and put it right
over there beside the road, huh?
- Now let go of the girl.
- Oh no, no, no, not
while you got that gizmo
in your hand, now lay it down, now!
Now get back on the bus and turn it around
and get out of here.
(dramatic music)
- Holy shit.
- This is for Karen you thieves.
- What is that go!
(aircraft engine)
(girls cheer)
(dramatic music)
Get the money.
- You think you're gonna take our money!
(girls cheers)
- Go buddy, go.
(aircraft engine)
(dramatic music)
(girls cheer)
(dramatic music)
- Here we go!
- Jesus the detonator.
- Forget the damn money come on!
Get down it's gonna blow!
(bomb explodes)
Sons of bitches just stole my money
and then they blew up
my goddamn motor home!
Enforcer my ass.
Oh thanks a lot.
(bomb explodes)
- That'll teach those boys in Gamma house
to play with firecrackers. (laughs)
(dramatic music)
♪ The bigger they come
the harder they fall ♪
♪ When you got your back to the wall ♪
♪ You got nothing to lose
kick off your running shoes ♪
♪ Stand and fight they're
expecting a crowd ♪
♪ But the winner takes it all tonight ♪
♪ The winner takes it all tonight ♪
♪ Everything is gonna be all right ♪
♪ When the ice gets thin
you just can't give in ♪
♪ 'Cause the winner takes it all tonight ♪
♪ Impossible odds are made to be beaten ♪
♪ When it looks like
you're sudden defeating ♪
♪ And no hope to be found
you gotta hold your ground ♪
♪ Wrong or right ♪
♪ The harder they fall and the
winner takes it all tonight ♪
♪ The winner takes it all tonight ♪
♪ Everything is gonna be all right ♪
♪ When the ice gets thin
you just can't give in ♪
♪ 'Cause the winner takes it all tonight ♪
♪ Impossible odds are made to be beaten ♪
♪ When it looks like sudden defeat ♪
♪ And no hope to be found
you gotta hold your ground ♪
♪ Wrong or right ♪
♪ The harder they fall and the
winner takes it all tonight ♪
♪ The winner takes it all tonight ♪
♪ Everything is gonna be all right ♪
♪ When the ice gets thin
you just can't give in ♪
♪ 'Cause the winner takes it all tonight ♪
♪ Tonight tonight ♪
♪ The winner takes it all tonight ♪
♪ Everything is gonna be all right ♪
♪ When the ice gets thin
you just can't give in ♪
♪ 'Cause the winner takes it all tonight ♪
♪ Tonight tonight ♪
♪ The winner takes it all tonight ♪
♪ Everything is gonna be all right ♪
♪ When the ice gets thin
you just can't give in ♪
♪ 'Cause the winner takes it all tonight ♪
♪ The bigger they come
the harder they fall ♪
♪ When you got your back to wall ♪
♪ You got nothing to lose
kick off your running shoes ♪
♪ Stand and fight ♪
♪ They're expecting a crawl
but the winner takes it all ♪
♪ Tonight the winner
takes it all tonight ♪
♪ Everything is gonna be all right ♪
♪ When the ice gets thin
you just can't give in ♪
♪ 'Cause the winner takes it all tonight ♪
♪ Impossible odds are made to be beaten ♪
♪ When it looks like certain defeat ♪
♪ And no hope to be found ♪
♪ You gotta hold your ground ♪
♪ Wrong or right ♪
♪ The harder they fall and
the winner takes it all ♪
♪ Tonight the winner
takes it all tonight ♪
♪ Everything is gonna be all right ♪
♪ When the ice gets thin
you just can't give in ♪
♪ 'Cause the winner takes it all tonight ♪
♪ Tonight tonight ♪
♪ The winner takes it all tonight ♪
♪ Everything is gonna be all right ♪
♪ When the ice gets thin
you just can't give in ♪
♪ 'Cause the winner takes it all tonight ♪
♪ Mighty music light me up tonight ♪
♪ I can feel the good times coming on ♪
♪ Out on the street the
beat is burning bright ♪
♪ And every fantasy is
filled inside a song ♪
♪ Inhibitions slowly slip away ♪
♪ The look inside your
eyes can say it all ♪
♪ You can't fight the magic
of a night like this ♪
♪ Got to get on up give into love ♪
♪ It's easy when you fall ♪
♪ Because it's one more
rhythm to start you dreaming ♪
♪ There's one more groove you can try ♪
♪ Got to keep on dancing
till morning light ♪
♪ Because there's one
more rhythm to write ♪
♪ The band is smoking
smoking to the beat ♪
♪ A perfect time for love is everywhere ♪
♪ And when I hold your body close to me ♪
♪ I know it's more than just
a night we're gonna share ♪
♪ Shining figures dancing in a dream ♪
♪ Boogie about me baby
and bathe in candlelight ♪
♪ This is a moment only love can see ♪
♪ Gotta take a chance on this romance ♪
♪ And never say goodnight ♪
♪ No there's one rhyth
to start you dreaming ♪
♪ There's one more rhythm to try ♪
(horn blows)
(people chatter)
(church bells chime)
- Look.
- Oh my god,
can you believe they would
do something like this?
I wish the dean would
throw them off this campus.
- What are they doing?
- They're messing up this whole block.
- They are degrading to women.
- Oh they're, oh I can't even
think of a word bad enough
to call them, I think that's totally...
(dramatic music)
- [Woman] Hey guys,
breakfast is almost ready!
- Oh god, how can you talk of food,
my mouth tastes like an ashtray.
- Morning fellow paupers.
- Guess we didn't make too
much money last night, huh?
- Are you kidding, after
Benzhadi took his cut,
we made $166.
That won't even pay our
phone bill this month.
Our major should be deficit finances.
- Well like they say
it's hard to mix pleasure
and business.
- Hey Jackie, your daddy's rich,
what's the chance of him
loaning the house some money?
- About as much chance as
we all have of graduating.
- Well but it wouldn't be mad money,
it's for our sorority survival.
- And what makes you think my father
wants to see Delta Pi survive?
I mean, staying here is
the reason I'm cut off.
- Hello loverboy.
- Good morning, how are
things in never never land?
- Oh incredible there's a whole universe
right inside our heads.
- That may be the only
place we have to live
when Benzhadi doesn't get
our check in the mail.
Look it, we've gotta make
some money and real quick.
- Check this out, mud wrestles needed,
big bucks for pretty, sexy girls.
Short hours, no experience necessary.
International Classy promotions,
ask for Shawn or Lane.
- What a great idea.
- A mud wrestler, now
wouldn't that just blow
my old daddy's status conscious mind?
(laughs)
That'll teach him to
cut off his little girl.
- Monica, I don't know how you talked me
into joining this
sorority, some best friend.
- Oh come on, Karen, where's
your old Delta Pi spirit?
- I just wanna find a good man to marry.
- Why this could be the
beginning of the new Delta Pi.
We'll put on our own show
and instead of using
mud we use whipped cream
or something like that.
(girls holler)
And we'll call it the fantasy wrestlers.
- Oh no.
- God the frats will love it.
- Oh what about our house mother?
- You're right, Mugs has
been getting crazy lately.
We've gotta find a way to
get her out of the house.
- Fix her a couple martinis,
that oughta handle it.
(laughs)
- Yeah, she's still out cold somewhere
from last night's soiree.
(girls laugh)
- That's not nice.
Well let's take her to the movies,
she likes the movies.
- Oh what's the difference
she never remembers
anything she sees anyway.
- Monica, get serious,
there's only six of us,
how are we going to
organize everything in time?
- Oh come on old pal, we are
a bunch of resourceful girls.
- Desperate is more like it.
- I might have been a
little bombed last night
but I oh yeah I sure remember
that one of you little ladies
oh yes, you're some kind of wildcat.
(girls laugh)
- I swear to god.
- You sure you weren't smoking one
of Magic's funny cigarettes?
- Ooh maybe found one of my mouse traps.
(girls laugh)
- Floody flowl little
sisters, it's a real woman.
- Hey that's my new nightgown.
(girls laugh)
- Oh my god.
- Looks like wine isn't the only thing
that grows good with age, huh stud.
- If you guys say anything
about this to anybody
I swear I'll kill you.
- 20 bucks, a little volunteer work
and our lips are sealed.
(dramatic music)
- We'll have to get together
again sometime, screamer.
- Screamer. (laughs)
(dramatic music)
(rock music)
♪ Most of these girls
looking for the action ♪
♪ Most of these girls are
looking for the door ♪
♪ Where they go that's
where it happening ♪
♪ Let's have a party tonight ♪
♪ Most of these girls
nothing gonna stop them ♪
♪ Most of these girls putting up a fight ♪
♪ Hold on tight no one can top them ♪
♪ Let's have a party tonight ♪
- Want a ticket?
- No.
- Hey, where's administration?
♪ Till they finally find
what they went after ♪
♪ They got what it
takes to reach the top ♪
♪ So let them show what they can do ♪
♪ Most of these girls are
looking for the action ♪
♪ Most of these girls ♪
♪ Are looking for the action ♪
- Where you going with
that cart, bring that cart back.
♪ Are looking for the door ♪
♪ Where they go that's
where it's happening ♪
♪ Let's have a party tonight ♪
♪ Have a party ♪
- Hi sweetheart,
hi there little floater.
- Oh how you doing?
- Oh look at the nice (indistinct).
- Come here.
- You wanna watch us?
- Look at playing in the water.
- Oh boy.
- Make big waves ooh.
- Yeah, look at that.
- Isn't that nice.
- Have a nice day little girl.
- Is everybody ready to party?
- Yeah!
- How's everybody feeling today?
(crowd cheers)
Are you ready to party!
(crowd cheers)
Are you sure!
(crowd cheers)
Are you positive?
(crowd cheers)
We're gonna have a great show here today
and I wanna thank you all for coming.
(crowd cheers)
- Monica we haven't
even seen the girls yet!
- Down Fido!
(girls cheer)
- Hey Karen you better not let
Teacup see you in that outfit
he'll be in heat for a week.
- Leave me alone, did
you see all those people?
- Yeah, I know isn't it great?
Just think of all the
money we're gonna make.
(girls cheer)
- Yeah, you might even be able to settle
with Benzhadi.
- I just don't hope my poor
parents don't find out.
- [Monica] Here we go, now
for our first competitors.
And LA's lovely lady, Laurie Swisher.
- I'm gonna get a rise
out of them. (laughs)
- [Monica] Sharon Tiller, Sturgis.
- Look out sailors here comes the world.
(audience exclaims)
♪ If you don't want it girl ♪
♪ Oh baby can't love back too ♪
♪ Do you (indistinct) ♪
♪ Tonight you'll love me back ♪
♪ (indistinct) girl (indistinct) ♪
♪ Don't you see that it's serious ♪
♪ I've got this love I've
got to give only to you ♪
♪ My actions seem ♪
- Where do you plan on
finding six good looking babes
who's willing to work on stat.
From all your hokie ads all we got
are a bunch of dogs, burned
out actresses and transexuals.
- Will you relax, we
don't have to be in Vegas
till tomorrow night.
- That's just what I mean.
Look we better deliver those babes
or the promoter's gonna be plenty pissed
and you know what that means,
you and me sprouting cactus
in the middle of the Mojave.
- Ease up, you creative
types, you're all alike.
Look at this, you've plastered
it on every telephone pole
in the area.
Sorority houses, female fantasy wrestlers,
promoters will love it.
- Yeah, but college girls may not drive
such an easy bargain.
- Hey you just get this bus ready on time,
I can handle the women.
(audience cheers)
(funky music)
(horn blows)
- Oh my god, she's home already.
- Thank you young man that was lovely.
- Well just circling the city
can't be all that much fun.
Next time try to remember
where we're supposed
to be going.
- I had a grand time,
it's not often I get to
cruise, what's the tab?
- I already have $70 for
this ripe young specimen
of womanhood.
(audience cheers)
Are you guys really gonna let Gamma house
steel this virgin from you for peanuts?
(audience cheers)
- All the guys from
Gamma have are peanuts!
(audience laughs)
- So what's your bid Long John Silver?
(audience exclaims)
- Mugsy, I'm so glad you're home.
- Hi, I didn't know you
were studying medicine.
Why didn't you tell me you girls
were having the boys over again?
- Hey like I said I need $13.95.
- Oh yeah, well we all got problems
but asking for handouts isn't the answer,
it takes hard work if you
wanna survive in this world.
- What's with the old lady?
- How dare you call me an old lady!
That's the last time I'm
every gonna let you girls
bring anybody from Gamma house.
- What did she escape
from a mental hospital?
- It's just her second childhood.
- Well what about my money?
- Just put it on her tab.
Mugs, why don't we don't go
on out treat you to a martini?
- Oh not any of yours!
- Oh no you can't come in.
- Clear out, get me in here!
What is going on!
What is going on, what is
going on out in the backyard?
(audience cheers)
- I'll bid 80!
(audience cheers)
- There's a man, he's
getting in all that goo.
(audience cheers)
What is this some kind
of a crazy sex ritual?
- Mugs, what do you take us for, come on.
Wrestling is the second
oldest sport in the world.
(audience cheers)
(audience cheers)
- Gosh dang, they might as
well be selling their bodies
out on the street corner.
- I never dreamed being a
house mother was this tough.
I should have never retired
from the Army, that's me.
Come on stop that, stop that!
We gotta get in there,
we gotta get in there.
- Oh now where would you
ever find six crazies
who love you as much as we do?
- Yeah, six crazies love me is one thing,
you don't wanna go to the police
station to love me do you?
People are coming after you
seeing your stupid things,
stop it, stop it.
- Relax.
- Why do...
- Relax, smoke this.
(audience cheers)
- I can't believe we used to associate
with some of those girls.
(audience cheers)
- What kind of house mother
would allow something like.
- Oh dear, what brand is this?
- Homegrown.
- Makes you kinda horny don't it.
(chuckles)
(audience cheers)
- [Monica] Come on Laurie!
(audience cheers)
- Have they no pride?
- I'll show you some pride. (laughs)
(screams)
- [Monica] Look at that girls go!
Oh my god those are the
girls from Sigma Mega!
I knew they'd get down! (laughs)
- I bet you know didn't know
about instructing jiu-jitsu
in the Army services.
- Mugs you never cease to amaze me.
- Great if that gets around
and we're gonna be hearing
your house mother wears Army boots
for the entire next semester.
- I tend to be mighty proud of it,
I love the good old US of A.
Yeah and you know something
I can still show you girls
a trick or two.
I'm coming, here I come,
here I come, you animals!
(audience cheers)
- My god, I think in less than a year,
we've nearly destroyed
that poor woman's mind.
- Ain't nothing wrong with Mugs,
that lady's got style.
(dance music)
- Cool party huh?
(laughs)
- Get your ice cold beer
right here, only 50 cents,
get your ice cold beer.
- Hey I'll get one.
- Dude, she come with a beer.
- (indistinct) and 50 cents.
- Hey you want some.
- Thanks.
- Have a chug.
(boys chatter)
Hey man that's my beer.
Hey man that's my beer.
You can't drink that.
(laughs)
- Go get him, go get him, go
on go get him, you can do it.
- Hey.
- Come on watch out.
- Go man.
- (screams) Looks like you're doing okay.
- I know but every time a guy gets fresh,
I lose a couple of bucks.
- Thank you, thank you.
- Hey buster!
- What's going on!
- It's Benzhadi.
- Hey you're two months late on your loan
and I've just come to collect ladies.
- You oughta be stuffed
in a Hefty bag and dropped
in the LA wash.
- You know I'm against pollution Monica.
- Maybe you forget, you owe me
over 2,000 US of A greenbacks.
I think that requires a little respect.
- We only borrowed 1,000.
- I was there when your
landlord was evicting you
now wasn't I?
I'm sure that you and me
could make some arrangement,
just to help you girls pay
off the interest charges.
- I mailed you the check this morning.
- Yeah sure. (laughs)
What do you take me for a dummy.
(laughs)
- Seal off and attach bra.
Now how am I supposed to seal it off
when you mail order idiots
only gave me one cork, damn!
- What's happening?
Hey Carter, let me have an eye full.
- Looks like she using kind
of a machine (indistinct).
- Look out boys, here comes trouble.
- Hey I'm losing my
grip, I can't hold you!
- Hold me, hold me, don't let go!
- Who's out there?
(window thumps boy's head)
(boy hollers)
- Whoa, whoa!
- Sorry!
(horn blows)
- To Delta Pi, (audience cheers)
the best sorority in the whole damn world,
what's left of it.
- Yeah, I got the bomb!
(audience cheers)
- All right, all right!
- Delta, Delta, Delta, Delta,
Delta, Delta, Delta, Delta!
(audience cheers)
(dance music)
(audience cheers)
- Oh you little manic devil.
(hollers)
- Oh look at that!
(audience cheers)
- Hey man, why don't
you lift up your skirt
and let me give you one of these. (laughs)
(dance music)
(boy hollers)
♪ I try to remember I can't remember ♪
(laughs) (indistinct)
- Hey come on, come on open up!
- Party, come on, right
there, look at this cutie pie.
- Slow down tiger.
- Oh yeah, I bet
she's really doing it.
- [Boy] Hey maybe she's a
nympho maniac or something.
- [Girl] Oh yes.
- Oh that lucky stiff.
- It's my turn, it's my turn.
(girl moans)
You make love to me.
Okay, go ahead, put it in.
What's wrong?
- It's in.
♪ I'm trying to remember,
I can't remember ♪
♪ Try to remember ♪
(audience cheers)
(boys whistle)
- [Boy] Look at those tits,
looks at those tits on her.
- Karen, hello, it seems that your brain
isn't thing developing here at college.
- That's it baby.
- Mugs, have you no shame?
- At my age shame is the last thing
you're worried about losing.
(balloon pops)
(hollers)
What happened?
♪ I try to remember I can't remember ♪
- [Boy] Hey all right, couldn't wait huh?
- [Boy] Come on Carl!
- [Girl] Come on hurry up I gotta go!
- [Boy] I gotta take a leak!
- Couldn't wait, huh?
- Jesus!
- [Boy] Hold on!
- Hey. (laughs)
♪ I try to remember I can't remember ♪
♪ I try to remember but all I remember ♪
♪ Is loving me loving me ♪
♪ All the people all the people ♪
(birds sing)
- I don't know about you
but I'm getting tired
of Mugs hitting on all the frats.
- Oh what's wrong Karen you
can't stand the competition?
(laughs)
- Come on come on, I raise five dollars.
- Come on what good is
money if you can't spend it?
- I'm in.
(laughs)
- Hi ladies, you girls made a
little bit of pocket change,
how'd you like a free trip to
Vegas and make some real cash?
- Vegas.
- Vegas.
- Yep, the only investment on your part
is a little bit of
time, talent and beauty.
- Oh, now that's a heck of a line.
(laughs)
- And who exactly are you man?
- I'm Shawn, this is my pal, Lane.
- Hey, you're the guys that
have the ad in the newspaper,
International Classy Promotions, right?
- Yeah, that's it, now look,
it's a promotional gimmick
and all you gotta do is
wrestle another six girl team,
winner take all, $100,000.
- $100,000 to wrestle. (screams)
- What is this insanity I'm hearing?
- Come on we got the bus
gassed up, we're ready to go.
- So what if we lose?
- Come on we didn't come
here to strike a deal
with a bunch of losers.
- Oh so what you're saying is that
if we don't win we don't get paid, right?
- Hey if you don't win, you
lose a little bit of time.
We're the ones that are out the bucks.
- Yeah, the worst you guys can get
is a free trip to Vegas.
- Hey we can also get
our heads pounded in too.
- Okay, what's the split?
- 50/50.
- 90/10.
You guys need a team a
lot more than we need you.
- Hey come on the one thing
tinsel town is full of
is pretty girls, honey.
- And hustlers.
Like I said what do we need you for?
- 'Cause we're the ones that have the deal
with the promoter.
- And there are a lot of
hustlers that had deals
with the boys in Vegas
that are now just apart
of the Nevada highway.
(laughs)
- Okay who's turn is it?
- Okay, all right, 60/40,
that's my final offer.
(dramatic music)
- Okay hot shot.
(dramatic music)
(girls scream and cheer)
(upbeat music)
- Think fast, you really
invented all this stuff Lame?
- It's Lane, not Lame.
- Oh sorry, slick machine anyway.
- Yeah, but what you really need back here
is one of those vibrating shower heads.
- What kind of a field
trip are we going on?
There's nothing out there
but a lot of sand and cactus.
And these blasted bugs
are gonna eat us alive!
- Well it's time to christen this voyage.
- All right, party time.
- Yeah.
- No, no, no, no not for me, I quit.
Smoking's been doing
very things to me lately.
- Well then how about a brownie,
I made them with own secret recipe.
- Oh well thanks, I don't mind if I do.
- Oh wow, I want a brownie.
(upbeat music)
(dramatic music)
(horn blows)
(screams)
(horn blows)
- Nevada Nasties.
Hey those girls are going to Vegas too.
- Vegas, that's where we're
headed, hey! (hollers)
- Go around, go around.
(girls holler)
- Hey who are those guys?
- I told you the promoter
is gonna replace us.
- Hey come on Lane speed up man,
don't let those guys pass us.
- I'm an inventor not a miracle worker.
- What's going on, I thought you hustlers
already had the deal.
(girls holler)
- Get the hell out the way,
get the hell out of way,
get the hell out the way.
(girls holler)
(dramatic music)
(tires squeal)
- So long suckers.
(horn blows)
(dramatic music)
(girls holler)
(horn blows)
- Oh this is bullshit.
- What kind of game are you two playing?
- Look I don't know
what's going on either.
We got no reason to lie to you.
There's no way we're gonna
dig this out in time.
- Whoever that guy is he's
trying to move in on our deal.
Oh Shawn I'm always a day
late and a dollar short.
- Hey.
Hey does that thing you built really fly?
- Well, according to my
calculations it might.
- Are you crazy, that things nothing
but a pile of scrap.
- Hey partner, you sure
you don't want me to go?
If anything ever happened to
you I'd never forgive myself.
- Oh what a buddy, but
you can't fly either,
besides, if this doesn't work
those girls and that old
broad will probably kill you.
(motor runs)
(dramatic music)
(girls cheer)
(horn blows)
(dramatic music)
(engine runs)
(dramatic music)
(dramatic music)
So long suckers!
Las Vegas here we come!
(country music)
- Slow down!
Hey how about a ride!
Come on slow down, give
us a ride, we need a ride!
- What the hell is that, oh shit!
(tires squeal)
(dramatic music)
(dramatic music)
(engine runs)
(metal breaks)
(engine sputters)
(dramatic music)
(engine sputters)
- Get out of the way!
Oh shit!
(aircraft crashes)
(audience chatters)
- Man you all right, is he okay?
Is he all right?
(audience chatters)
- [Man] He was in the
airplane when he came by
I thought he was gonna kill me.
And I just blow off my raft
and I start swimming you know
and then pow pow he hit.
- Hey kid you do make
a hell of an entrance.
- I'm sorry, my fighters are
stranded on the edge of town.
I was just worried you
guys would replace us.
- Cupcake and I were just talking.
Fast talking kid like you
could pick up a team anywhere.
- Hey my word is good.
You don't know how much
this means to these girls.
I mean, they've been training like crazy.
They even fought a warm up match
at the university they attend.
- Hey this oughta be a
hell of a match, Cupcake.
I see here where your
competition has just arrived.
The Nevada Nasties, (laughs)
would you like to say hello to them.
- Nevada Nasties, huh?
- And they're real sore losers.
- Well I'm sure the girls
will be just thrilled.
- Just understand one thing kid,
this is my show, don't get funny.
You might just wind up at
the bottom of Hoover Dam.
- Without any scuba gear.
(dramatic music)
- [Man] Kapeesh?
- Don't worry about me fellas.
- Hey smart kid.
(dramatic music)
(upbeat music)
(girls holler)
- Ooh, Las Vegas, (indistinct).
- Hey we're here, yeah!
♪ I try to remember try to remember ♪
♪ Try to remember ♪
- Good luck.
(laughs)
- Oh wait till my folks hear about this.
(girls hollers)
- Monica, Laurie.
I think we hit the spot.
- The tow truck radioed back
that they couldn't find you.
And why 'cause you guys
are too damn busy partying.
- What are you talking about,
the guy was good enough to pull us out
and tow us all the way here,
what's the matter with you?
- I think someone's jealous.
- Oh bullshit, this is business honey.
Where's Lane?
(laughs)
- He's on the bus resting
his eyes, Mugsy drove.
- Hi Shawn.
- Lane.
(dramatic music)
- Care for a bite?
(girls laugh)
(upbeat music)
(girls holler)
(girls laugh)
- Some team, what a
bunch of losers. (laughs)
- Magic was smoking a joint.
Sharon can't keep her hands off the slots.
Laurie can't keep her hands to herself.
And we have to carry Mugs
and Lane to their rooms.
- So we celebrated a little bit too much,
it's our first night in Vegas.
- Look I know better than to ask you
to start getting the
girls to start training,
but how about you just keep them out
of trouble for awhile, huh?
I mean, the promoters do not
have a good sense of humor here.
- Hey neither do I, we were told
all the arrangements were
made when we left LA.
- Well they were.
The team that sideswiped us today
is the team we have to fight.
- You mean, I've got to
fight those queen cons.
- You guys are real
gems, you didn't tell us
we were gonna be freak fighting.
- I saw the other team
for the first time today too you know.
I mean, quit treating me
like I'm some mercenary
of something would you?
- Jeeze, he's even more
high strung than you Karen.
(dramatic music)
- Boy I feel lucky tonight,
did you feel the electricity
in the casino?
- Yeah, and I saw some cute
cowboys with some big wads.
(dramatic music)
(door slams)
- Here kitty, kitty, kitty,
kitty, over here kitty!
(dramatic music)
(upbeat music)
(girls holler)
I knew (indistinct).
- All right.
- Ca-ching. (hollers)
(girls chatter)
- Is this something, is this something?
- I had a 10 here, somebody stole my 10.
- You ladies are gonna have to
(indistinct) here,
if you wanna play, (indistinct).
- But this is no fun.
- Hey Dicky, how you doing?
- Good Sharon, how are you?
- You two know each other?
- Sure Dicky's gonna do a story about us
in his newspaper.
- Well, I only work for the paper,
I'm doing an article on the fight
and I thought it would be very interesting
if I featured the Delta Pi girls.
- You sure you don't work
for some dirty magazines or something.
- Oh Mugs, come on look
at him he's harmless.
- Yeah, they're the ones you can't trust.
(upbeat music)
♪ We are the proud girls of Delta Pi ♪
♪ Our grades may be low
but our spirits are high ♪
♪ (indistinct) mighty chick ♪
♪ Have a drink for out thoughts
start feeling our kicks ♪
(girls holler)
- [Girl] You drink too much.
(upbeat music)
(girls chatter)
(upbeat music)
(girls holler)
- Well, (laughs) that
little group of yours
really gave us a gold bomb last night.
- What can I say, you know,
they're a little excited.
They've never been to Las Vegas.
- Well why don't you tell
the Maxim Hotel that.
They're just about ready
to cancel my whole event.
You know kid, you're lucky as
hell with this sorority thing,
it's got us a lot of press.
- You know that's right.
I heard the vetters are picking us
as the favorites.
- Oh well I did drop the word
that you were wringers from LA.
(laughs)
Hey kid, come on, you and I both know,
you ain't got snowball's
chance in hell. (laughs)
- What do you mean?
- Well I've decided
I'm gonna give you kids a
$5,000 consolation prize.
Now you just have the
girls put on a good show
and then go happily home with
their second place ribbons.
- You're asking me to throw the fight.
- I'm not asking, look kid,
I'm betting your $5,000
on the Nevada Nasties at three to one.
That is 15 big ones, think about it.
- That wasn't our deal,
you don't understand
those girls trusted me.
- I don't give a shit about
all this competition angle.
Hey kid take a look out there,
that is Las Vegas, not
Madison Square Garden.
I'm a promoter, I'm a gambler,
everybody knows wrestling is fixed.
Think about it kid.
(slow dramatic music)
- Look you guys $15,000
bucks for coasting your way
for an all expense paid trip
to Las Vegas is not that bad.
- Yeah, our share would be $9,000,
we could square things up with Benzhadi
and prepay our rent for
the next six months.
- What they're asking us
to do is throw the fight.
- Yeah and to a bunch of real douche bags.
- Those sons of bitches,
a swift kick in the ass
is what they need, what fight?
- Are you all crazy, those
other girls are animals,
I bet they feed them
raw meat for breakfast.
- No.
- We came here to win,
if we lose to the hotel
they'll never know the difference anyway.
And we still collect the $15,000.
If we win, they have to pay us.
The hotel couldn't stand the bad press
of welching on a bunch of sorority girls.
- Oh my god, we're gonna sprouting cactus
in the middle of the desert.
- Don't you see with our cut of $100,000,
we could easily pay off Benzhadi
and maybe even put a down
payment on our house.
- All right, no more
first of the month blues.
- Delta Pi owning it's own house.
- Let's go for it, whatever it is!
(upbeat music)
(girls cheer)
Move it, lift a leg, hurry,
have a big game today!
Get a spring into your
legs for those chumpchas.
Keep those (indistinct).
Hey come on, now, get on Dicky,
get those juices flowing again.
- I can't, besides I should
be taking pictures of them.
- All right, jump, jump up, reach the sky.
Get up!
- She's flipped her switch.
- I think we've unleashed a monster.
- Oh god.
- Come on, come on, get to sweating it.
- Hello Karen you look swell.
- You get it Delta Pi,
nobody's higher than Delta Pi,
come on easy bite my dust.
♪ Delta Pi ♪
♪ The girls from Delta Pi ♪
♪ Gonna black the Nasties eye ♪
- Girls jump up high, come on.
(girls sing)
♪ Changes forgetting
all about the changes ♪
- Gotta keep those muscles warm.
♪ We're gonna fight to make some changes ♪
♪ Changes ♪
♪ Knowing that your dream is inside ♪
♪ You gotta take the tow of the line ♪
♪ Making some changes here tonight ♪
- One, two, one, two,
bring it up, bring it up,
that's right, oh you look too very sexy.
- Get it up girls, get it up.
Mike slow down!
- Will you pay attention,
hey, hey, come on!
(girls holler)
- Come on we're racing, slow down!
You're gonna wear us out,
we gotta have a fight today.
(crashes)
(girls holler)
- Mike that's crazy!
- Damn pedestrians!
That's it one, two, legs
up, legs up, that's right!
(tires squeal)
Oh you look very sexy, very sexy,
all of you look sexy it's all about.
There you go.
All right, all right, come
on yeah, come on yeah,
there's the girls that ever
were, one, two, oh you act silly
don't be so tired.
(girls hollers)
Nice fresh air, nice fresh
air, got a lot of fresh air.
- Well a good vitamin
B and cow's liver shot,
some bee pollen, we'll get
your adrenaline rushing.
- Yeah, that's gonna loosen
you up, you're gonna be great.
Ooh, boy those muscles, (indistinct).
(girl hollers)
- Oh boy I smell a double cross here.
I call for the enforcer.
We're gonna pull out all the stops.
- Them college kids ain't real smart.
- Cupcake, I want you to get pud
and make sure everything is gonna my way
otherwise the big boys back east
are gonna have our asses.
- You got it boss.
- And right after the fight,
I don't care what you do
to those two punks and their
troop of little merry...
Goddamnit!
What the hell was that?
- Was that a jackrabbit?
- Why don't you shut up!
Jesus Christ all he did
was piss all over my boot.
- Calm down boss, calm down.
- I'll calm down, okay, I'm
calmed down, I'm calmed down.
Relax, relax, relax.
What the hell, that's rabbit shit!
I want that furry little bastard stuffed
and put on my desk.
And I'll be goddamned if Jack Enoff's
gonna take shit from anyone.
Dukie our enforcer had
better get here quick.
Jackrabbit oh boy.
(dramatic music)
(musical horn blows)
- Dukie's here.
Listen, babe I want you to do me a favor.
You park the car out front,
I want the ladies to know
the party's back in town.
- Yes sir.
- All right.
And pal, be careful
not to scratch the 16 coat
lacquer paint job will you?
And don't let any ladies
sit on my horn this time.
(jazz music)
- Hey come on, it's not all that bad.
- If anything happens to Mugsy
or the rest of the girls,
I'll never forgive myself.
- I won't let anything happen, okay?
- You don't care what happens to us.
All you guys care about is
padding your own pockets.
- Look I understand how you feel,
but you're wrong, Lane
and I have our last dime
riding on this thing.
- Our landlord is preparing
our eviction notice right now.
And there's probably
some Iranian loan shark
putting out a reward on us all.
- What happened to all
the money you girls made?
- We still came up 1,000 short.
So I thought I'd try
my luck at the tables.
- Listen, there'll be
plenty of time for that
after the fight.
Besides even if we don't
win we still make a bundle.
- You really do care what
happens to us don't you?
- I do.
Hey we're partners now right?
(woman moans)
- Wow, you're some kisser, Karen.
- What do you expect when you
just sweep me off my feet?
- Oh it was nothing Scarlet,
a gentlemen never lets
a lady be depressed.
Oh that stupid electric
toilet's overflowing again.
- I got it from the mail order catalog.
- Karen, I didn't know you
were into model rocketry.
Wow I never seen a pink
rocket ship before.
(mimics plane noises)
- [Man] Win now to (indistinct).
- Come on folks, don't quit me now.
- Come on.
- Hear the girl now,
(indistinct) need to win.
- Come on, come on!
- Oh gee that was nice.
(girls laugh)
(chatters)
(slow music)
- Okay, let's let them all ride.
(girls chatter)
- Come on.
- Please.
- Oh man, come on (indistinct)
oh man, oh man, come on.
Oh damn.
- Well (indistinct) and we (indistinct)
new shooter coming out now.
- Oh shit.
- Tough luck girls.
- Oh so what else is new.
- I'm Ashley Duke the third, talent scout
and star maker.
What do you girls say I get room service
to rush a little of the bubbly
up to my penthouse suite,
we can have an intimate little card game,
watch the sun rise, get a feel
for each other's energies.
It'll give you a chance
to change your luck.
- No, I've gotta find my rabbit.
- I got some great grass, sexy.
- Oh yeah, you got a hit.
- Oh how about the bucks?
- Darling I got anything you need.
- Ooh.
- I ran out (indistinct) roll
the dice now, pay to win,
you hit again, gotta
come back, feel that hey.
- Lane did you get some of the clothes
out of the girls' suitcases?
- Yeah, and their
luggage is already loaded
on the bus.
- Great, hey look, make sure
that thing's wired up in time
and get the ultralite
ready to fly would you?
- Hey Shawn do you really
think we'll have to
resort to this?
- Listen pal this is one card game
we can't bluff ourselves out of.
(slow jazz music)
- [Dukie] I'll raise you 20.
- I think you're bluffing.
Here's your 20 and I'll up you 20.
- Can't get blood out
of a turnip, I'm out.
- Hey Magic are you in or not?
- No, these cards stink, I gotta go potty.
- You know what they say about champaign,
you never really own it just rent it.
(laughs)
- All right, I'll call four aces.
- I can't believe this.
- You're a pretty good
poker player, Dr. Duke.
- Yeah, well wait till
he gets those panties
and I bet he really starts playing poker.
- Oh my god.
Teacup.
Oh my baby, where have you been?
Mama's missed you.
I miss you you little sweet.
Magic trick cards.
- We gotta get down and party.
Girls this stuff is gonna
knock your socks off.
- They already are off stupid.
(laughs)
- Ah, now, now, don't
be a poor loser baby,
mas, mas, come on.
- Oh girls I think there is
something you should know.
Dukers you've been cheating.
- Come on stop this car
we were just having a little harmless fun.
(girls hollers)
(upbeat music)
(engine revs)
- Look out!
(tires squeal)
(upbeat music)
- Hey, my car, that's Dukie's car.
(upbeat music)
♪ You're history ♪
♪ History ♪
♪ You're history ♪
(girls holler)
It was just a game, I was just playing.
♪ History ♪
- Come on, let's go Magic.
♪ We're the girls from Delta Pi ♪
♪ We're the girls from Delta Pi ♪
♪ Won't take shit from any guy ♪
♪ Don't take shit from any guy ♪
- Hey you guys here, tipsy.
(girls laughs)
♪ Ashley you just cheat at poker ♪
♪ Ashley you just cheat at poker ♪
♪ He ain't nothing but a horny joker ♪
♪ He ain't nothing but a horny joker ♪
- You all crazy!
(girls holler)
(upbeat music)
(tires squeal)
♪ You're history ♪
(girls holler)
(car crashes)
(girls holler)
- What the hell?
(indistinct)
- [Girl] So there's nothing
about this nerd that's real.
- Make him eat it!
- Here sucker.
- Hey you still owe me 20 bucks worth.
- You can't do this to
me I'm the enforcer!
- Oh sucker.
- (indistinct) how you tried to cheat us
and run us down (indistinct).
(girls hollers)
- [Dukie] You'll pay for this.
(bell chimes)
(audience cheers)
(dramatic music)
- Ladies and gentlemen
welcome to ring side
at the beautiful Maxim
Hotel in Las Vegas Nevada
where today we present the
female mud wrestling championship
of the world.
(dramatic music)
(audience claps)
- This is it, 100,000 big
ones, no way we can lose,
you guys are (indistinct).
- Hey has anybody seen Karen?
- Yeah, I saw her about
a half an hour ago,
but she was sick to her stomach.
Maybe she's in the ladies room.
- Oh I wish Shawn would get here.
- [Announcer] For your
information fans, today...
- Shawn I don't wanna
be found dead like this.
- [Announcer] To make
the wrestling conditions
more difficult.
(slaps face)
- Why'd I let you talk me
into this wild schemes.
- Will be in affect today
regarding technical (indistinct).
- What he's trying to tell us
is dirty fighting's allowed.
- [Announcer] And five
points to be awarded
for pinning both shoulders
of an opponent to the mat
for three seconds.
- Hello, Shawn, what a nice dress.
- Well we need a disguise,
those boom breakers
are liable to hold us hostage
till this thing's over.
- I think you're kinda cute.
- Delta Pi sorority Miss Laurie Swisher.
(audience cheers)
And in the blue corner her opponent,
one of the Nevada Nasties,
known as the mistress of pain and kink,
here's the mulling mama.
(audience cheers)
(hollers)
- You stand and kick oh
you gotta (indistinct).
- [Announcer] Now ladies
take your positions
and at the bell come out wrestling.
(dramatic music)
(girls holler)
(audience claps)
(girls holler)
(audience cheers)
(laughs)
(hollers)
- One, two, three.
(bell rings)
- And to think that
hustler had me believing
he could beat that team of killers
I had you put together in LA.
- Maybe these broads decided
to throw the fights, after all huh?
- Well they look pretty
damn convincing to me.
We didn't need to take any provisions.
- (indistinct) Go faster.
- The sophisticated Jacklyn
Rothschild the Third.
(audience claps and cheers)
(upbeat music)
And her opponent in the blue corner,
one of the Nevada Nasties,
known as the wrestling cowgirl,
Cactus Kelly.
(dramatic music)
- Weirdest damn game I ever watched.
Hell first thing I taught you
girls was hand to hand combat.
- I can't Karen anywhere.
- I'll take a whiff she's gone AWOL.
- Oh not Karen, she wouldn't let us down.
- I know she's a chicken
but she'd never quit on us.
- You remember suppose we win
the consolation prize now.
- [Announcer] Now ladies
take your positions
and at the bell come out wrestling.
(dramatic music)
(bell rings)
(upbeat music)
(girls holler)
(audience cheers)
(girls holler)
(upbeat music)
(girls holler)
(audience cheers)
One, two.
- [Man] Come on count faster.
Three.
(bell rings)
(audience cheers)
(hollers)
- Get those tricks in, I
knew you had it in you,
I knew it, I knew it, I knew it.
(upbeat music)
- [Announcer] And now
friends let's please welcome
young lady wrestling
for Delta Pi sorority,
their very own irrepressible
mystic lady, Magic.
(audience cheers)
And her opponent the woman
of steel herself, Fang.
(growls)
(growls)
(dramatic music)
(laughs)
- Come here kitty, kitty, come on kitty.
- [Lane] Magic, you're
gonna do it, you're gonna.
- Kitty, kitty, come here, catch this!
(hollers)
(dramatic music)
(audience cheers)
(bell chimes)
- [Announcer] Well fans
I see you like that one,
you just wait and see what
else we have in store for you.
(audience cheers)
Now fans have a big hands
for the fearless leader
of the Delta Pi girls, the lovable Monica.
(audience cheers)
(upbeat music)
And her opponent the well endowed
and appropriately named Lungs.
(cracks whip)
(audience cheers)
- I never knew college
could be so much fun, oh.
- Put an itching powder on the
broad's bathing suits, huh?
- (laughs) You rascal you.
- What now?
(audience cheers)
- You're gonna be good, my darling,
you're gonna be wonderful, I love you go.
(whip snaps)
Bitch.
(dramatic music)
- Come on, come on, girl,
give her a little one two.
- Watch it girls, watch it, watch it.
Be careful.
(girls holler)
(hollers)
- [Girl] Monica get her, get
in her count has done started.
- One, two, three. (whistle blows)
(bell rings)
- Well now that's what
I call getting real down
and dirty.
- (laughs) Looks to me like
they're getting the shit
kicked out of them. (laughs)
(upbeat music)
- [Announcer] And now friends
it's my pleasure to present
to you Delta Pi sorority's
answer to Bruce Lee,
the tenacious Sharon Sturgis.
(upbeat music)
(audience cheers)
Now presenting our very
own exotic Dragon Lady.
(dramatic music)
(audience cheers)
(audience claps)
(audience cheers)
- No problem.
(dramatic music)
(audience cheers)
(girls hollers)
- Come on Sharon get her arm!
(girl hollers)
(audience cheers)
(dramatic music)
- One, two.
Three.
- Yeah, I told you so!
(audience cheers)
Yeah, just (indistinct) a little bit
of dirt on you.
- They sure did,
they sure did.
(indistinct)
- We want foxy girl, we want
foxy girl, we want foxy girl
we want foxy girl, we want
foxy girl, we want foxy girl
we want foxy girl, we want
foxy girl, we want foxy girl!
- It's just not like Karen.
- We sure have been through a lot to lose.
- Karen by default to those bums.
- Well look at it this
way, the Tattooed Lady
would probably just
destroyed Karen anyway.
- Hey why doesn't Shawn or Lane go in.
I mean, nobody's seen Karen anyways.
- Give me a break.
- It has to be a member
of our sorority anyway.
- And now fighting out of the red corner,
one of Mugsy's girls, Karen Dilly.
(audience cheers)
(upbeat music)
- Oh no.
(dramatic music)
- [Announcer] And her opponent
one of the Nevada Nasties
here's Terrible Tawny.
- I'll grab it and break it off like this.
Oh I'm hungry!
- [Announcer] Okay ladies
take your positions
and come out fighting at the bell.
(growls)
- What the hell is that?
- You little pipsqueak,
I'm gonna break you in two,
I'm gonna lift you up and crush you down,
you're gonna be nothing but a pile of mud
by the time I get through with you.
- You may be up there,
I'm down here (growls)
I'll get you, I'll get you where it hurts.
- Get in here, come on,
I'm waiting for you.
- Okay, you overstuffed cartoon.
♪ You know when the odds
are stocked against you ♪
- Poor Mugsy.
♪ And you're about to lose it all ♪
♪ Into the wheel of fortune paradise ♪
(audience cheers)
♪ And you're riding hot
'cause your heart is hot ♪
(audience cheers)
♪ You lack devotion ♪
- This means war.
♪ In the heat of the night ♪
♪ You know there's
nothing else you can do ♪
♪ You've gotta take a
long shot long shot ♪
- Where did she go.
- Watch out Mugsy.
(punches)
(audience cheers)
- One, two, three.
The winning team, Mugsy's Girls.
(audience applause)
- You get me the enforcer
and have him bring the girl
out back now.
(girls cheer)
- [Shawn] We're ready to get out of here.
- [Mugsy] Hey best damn
time I had in 50 years.
- [Girl] Hey we're missing some people.
- Oh Lane's gonna check out for Karen,
he oughta catch up with us in a bit.
(tires squeal)
Here comes trouble,
everyone stay on the bus.
(dramatic music)
- Why that little creep.
- I knew we should hung
old Ashley Duke the Third
by his neck.
- I knew you wouldn't let us leave,
not without saying goodbye.
- The money punk, I'm just about tired
of playing with your group now.
- Should have played it smart, kid.
- Oh I did, I did.
One push of this little button here pal
and that cute little
sleek motor home of yours
goes sky high.
- I guess you expect us
to believe that shit huh?
- I don't lie.
(laughs)
- They've got Karen.
- Oh poor Karen.
- Kidnapping a sorority sister.
- Hi kid, you're a smart boy,
I'll give you the girl back
if you give me the money.
- Monica, bring out the money.
- Keep Mugsy in the bus,
come on Magic help me us.
- Good boy and put it right
over there beside the road, huh?
- Now let go of the girl.
- Oh no, no, no, not
while you got that gizmo
in your hand, now lay it down, now!
Now get back on the bus and turn it around
and get out of here.
(dramatic music)
- Holy shit.
- This is for Karen you thieves.
- What is that go!
(aircraft engine)
(girls cheer)
(dramatic music)
Get the money.
- You think you're gonna take our money!
(girls cheers)
- Go buddy, go.
(aircraft engine)
(dramatic music)
(girls cheer)
(dramatic music)
- Here we go!
- Jesus the detonator.
- Forget the damn money come on!
Get down it's gonna blow!
(bomb explodes)
Sons of bitches just stole my money
and then they blew up
my goddamn motor home!
Enforcer my ass.
Oh thanks a lot.
(bomb explodes)
- That'll teach those boys in Gamma house
to play with firecrackers. (laughs)
(dramatic music)
♪ The bigger they come
the harder they fall ♪
♪ When you got your back to the wall ♪
♪ You got nothing to lose
kick off your running shoes ♪
♪ Stand and fight they're
expecting a crowd ♪
♪ But the winner takes it all tonight ♪
♪ The winner takes it all tonight ♪
♪ Everything is gonna be all right ♪
♪ When the ice gets thin
you just can't give in ♪
♪ 'Cause the winner takes it all tonight ♪
♪ Impossible odds are made to be beaten ♪
♪ When it looks like
you're sudden defeating ♪
♪ And no hope to be found
you gotta hold your ground ♪
♪ Wrong or right ♪
♪ The harder they fall and the
winner takes it all tonight ♪
♪ The winner takes it all tonight ♪
♪ Everything is gonna be all right ♪
♪ When the ice gets thin
you just can't give in ♪
♪ 'Cause the winner takes it all tonight ♪
♪ Impossible odds are made to be beaten ♪
♪ When it looks like sudden defeat ♪
♪ And no hope to be found
you gotta hold your ground ♪
♪ Wrong or right ♪
♪ The harder they fall and the
winner takes it all tonight ♪
♪ The winner takes it all tonight ♪
♪ Everything is gonna be all right ♪
♪ When the ice gets thin
you just can't give in ♪
♪ 'Cause the winner takes it all tonight ♪
♪ Tonight tonight ♪
♪ The winner takes it all tonight ♪
♪ Everything is gonna be all right ♪
♪ When the ice gets thin
you just can't give in ♪
♪ 'Cause the winner takes it all tonight ♪
♪ Tonight tonight ♪
♪ The winner takes it all tonight ♪
♪ Everything is gonna be all right ♪
♪ When the ice gets thin
you just can't give in ♪
♪ 'Cause the winner takes it all tonight ♪
♪ The bigger they come
the harder they fall ♪
♪ When you got your back to wall ♪
♪ You got nothing to lose
kick off your running shoes ♪
♪ Stand and fight ♪
♪ They're expecting a crawl
but the winner takes it all ♪
♪ Tonight the winner
takes it all tonight ♪
♪ Everything is gonna be all right ♪
♪ When the ice gets thin
you just can't give in ♪
♪ 'Cause the winner takes it all tonight ♪
♪ Impossible odds are made to be beaten ♪
♪ When it looks like certain defeat ♪
♪ And no hope to be found ♪
♪ You gotta hold your ground ♪
♪ Wrong or right ♪
♪ The harder they fall and
the winner takes it all ♪
♪ Tonight the winner
takes it all tonight ♪
♪ Everything is gonna be all right ♪
♪ When the ice gets thin
you just can't give in ♪
♪ 'Cause the winner takes it all tonight ♪
♪ Tonight tonight ♪
♪ The winner takes it all tonight ♪
♪ Everything is gonna be all right ♪
♪ When the ice gets thin
you just can't give in ♪
♪ 'Cause the winner takes it all tonight ♪