Death to Prom (2014) - full transcript

The year is 2099,

it has been raining for 300 years.

Kim and William,
you were high school sweethearts

all ready to go to prom

but William got lost in the rain

And you both lost your phones.

Kim has been waiting
in her prom dress for ten years.

The sun finally comes out for a minute,

so Kim climbs the ladder
to look for William.

William, you've been working
in Paris as a mechanic

And you've finally found
your way back to Kim.



Well, shouldn't her dress be soaking wet?

It's more of a concept Kim,
you know the drill.

Couldn't William have just
written me a letter or something?

Kim, don't be difficult, or I'll tell mom
where you really were on Saturday.

Couldn't I just call her land-line?

No... She doesn't have a land-line.

Well, how could they possibly be sweethearts then?

Is your sister trying to kill me?

Look, it doesn't have to be logical. It's fantasy.

Will I be staying in a hotel in town?

What?! Why does that matter?

I'm just trying to get into character.

Let's simplify. It's been raining
for 300 years, the sun comes out.

William's back from France. Now, go!



How am I supposed to act French?

Ah! Voila!

Now you're French! Fabulous!

Okay. Let's act alive
and in love and... stuff.

Wake up.

Kim, your CPR is all wrong.

Now, lean over him like this.

I mean, he's been gone for ten years, right?

Okay, look at him with love in your eyes.

Will you go to prom with me instead?

If you were my date,
we could make prom last forever...

[echo: forever.... forever... forever... ]

Quiet everyone.

Quiet, please.

As you know, Cindy McDougal is out
for the semester with an illness.

(coughing) Skank!

What was that, Holly?

Nothing, just have an itch in my throat.

(coughing) Skank!

Because Cindy was voted in by the
art club as the prom committee chair

It only makes sense to hold another
vote to find a replacement for her.

For those interested, please see me
in my office at the end of the day.

[school bell ringing]

Who do you think the boy from your
dream is supposed to represent?

No idea. But whoever he is,
I'd like to meet him.

Hi sluts. What are our looks today?

Let's see. I'm an Icelandic ballerina,
who's jumps off a cruise ship...

...and has to swim to New York City.
That's where I start my piano bar.

Rene, let me guess...

Rich brat who has slum
with the peasant girls,

But who'd rather be rolling
in the hay with half the football team.

I prefer soccer players, better legs.

Well, you're in luck, lady.

Look over there.

There's that hot Russian sports wonder.

Oh please. He's such a meat-head.

He barely talks.

And his friends? Gross.

Hey, it's not the easiest thing,
coming here from another country.

Good thing I'm so charming.

So, you're not taking Kelly to prom?

I don't think she likes me at all.

You've only had one date with her, man.

I don't think it would be a good idea.

Just ask her.
You gotta go to prom.

Go with us. We'll share a
limo and stuff. It'll be sick.

Maybe.

Too bad he ended up with those sportos,

instead of the elite crowd, like us.

Like any of us have anything
to say to him anyway.

Besides, everything about him
is totally out of style.

Rene, you might have a chance with him.

I hear he barely even looks at girls.

I could totally be into him.

Dude...

those sexually-unconfused freaks
are staring at us again.

Is that guy dating both of them?

No! That guy wouldn't go near a girl.

Unless the girl was born a dude.

They're staring over here.

Maybe we should change the subject.

I've got one.

I heard that loser
Cindy McDougal has mono,

so she can't plan the stupid prom.

Rene, you should totally take over
this year's prom committee.

Please!

You could totally ruin it for everybody.

Start the gym on fire and stuff.

I could totally sabotage
it in the best way.

Make it a huge train-wreck of a party...

An anti-prom nobody will ever forget!

It'd be like creating the look for
the world's worst photo shoot.

Oh Rene, please do it!

I'll hire you a team of assistants.

It could be totally genius.

Let's give those guys a show.

No, Holly.
Not here in the library...

in front of everyone.

J'adore you, but
this is not a telenovela.

Take our picture, Frankie!

Ughhhh. Puke.

You're just going to love these boots.

They're illegal in 35 states, you know.

Really? Is it safe to wear them?

Of course not, that's the point.

Remember: If the shoes don't hurt,
they're not doing their job.

I hope you're not scaring
away the natives, Rene.

Is that what they're called these days?

You call them what you want,
but to me they're natives.

Totally unfamiliar with our brand
of glamorous irrational thought.

Speaking of irrational, I signed up
to plan the prom this year,

but I should have been planning
proms in the 2nd grade.

Why not? Put up gobs of
streamers and call it a day.

If you can get one girl into a vintage gown,

you've won a major victory.

Who's your date going to be?

Nobody.

Frankie?

Frankie's a girl, Gregory.

She also happens to be
the only one in town

who seems to understand you.

I might design the "look" of it,
but actually attending? Ugh.

It's held in the gymnasium, Gregory.

Oh, just go, Grandma.

It's all an excuse to dress up.

I thought you would be the
first in line for a formal affair.

Let's say I do go...

Why shouId I settle for Frankie,

and not someone I'm madly in love with?

Ugh. Even if it's 100% dreadful,

It's kind of like high school jury duty...

Except with flowers and spiked punch.

[phone ringing]

Sasha, there is someone on
the telephone for you.

I'm really busy with homework.
Could you take a message?

It's a young lady. I think it might
be that nice girl, Kelly.

I'm trying to get this homework
finished before bed.

Okay, I can have her call again.

Wait, let's have a nice proper goodbye.

Bye, dad.

That's it?

Yeah, I guess.

Well, how's school?

Today's my favorite.

The art club?

No. Public speaking.

I have to recite a poem
today in English class.

Oh, are you nervous?

I have no trouble speaking it public.

"It gives me great--"

Don't worry about it, dad. Thanks.

You'll do just fine.

Okay everyone.

I know how much you all love poetry,

but we're in our final weeks.

Next up is Frankie Jain.

Frankie, you can't wait any longer.

Um, yeah. This is called "The Night"
by Alexander Pushkin.

"My voice that is for you, the languid one,"

"and gentle, disturbs the velvet
of the dark night's mantle,"

"By my bedside, a candle,
my sad guard, burns,"

"And my poems ripple
and merge and flood,"

"and run the streams of love,"

"run, full of you alone."

"And in the dark, your eyes"

"shine like precious stones,"

"and smile to me and
I hear the voice,"

"My friend, my sweetest friend,"

"I'm yours. I'm yours."

Rene Castillo, I believe you are up next.

My poem is an original piece of
art titled, "Rene's Alphabet."

A. Alexander McQueen.

B. Balenciaga.

C. Comme des Garcon.

D. Dries Van Noten.

E. Emilio Pucci.

F. Ferragamo.

G. Gucci.

Okay, so we have everything
for the shoot,

except for the 80's bangle bracelets.

It's time for some serious
accessorizing. Let's vend.

What?

We'll get some "ice" and
"bling" for Holly's sister,

to flash her trash with in our shoot.

Look at those rings.

They're terrible.

Well, except for that skull ring in front.

Yeah! That one is totally hot.

If I get that ring with
these little quarters,

Will you marry me?

No. Are you kidding?

Will you go to prom with me then?

"S'il vous plait?" If I get that ring?

You want to go to that?

I don't know. Not really. Do you?

If you get that ring, I'll think about it.

You'll never get it though.

Here goes everything.

So cornballs.

Shhh. Quiet. I'm concentrating.

You look at it. I can't quite handle
the gravitas of the moment!

This could change our life forever.

Well, which ring is it?

None of your business.

That's what it is.

Sounds like you got the skull ring!

We're dates then, right?

God, weren't you kidding?

We could go. It might
not be that bad.

It could be that bad. And worse.

Let's make a deal...

If I get to design the prom, and
make it totally over the top,

Will you go with me?

Probably not.

Come on!

No!

I'll design your dress, too.

I might start to think about it,

but I don't even wear dresses.

So, you'll think about it.

Now, let's practice our slow dance,

just in case you change your mind.

[humming...]

[school bell ringing]

Can I have everyone's attention?

This is going to be a very
exciting art club meeting.

For the first time, the prom
chair is going to be a "he."

His name is Rene Castillo.

Speech! Speech! Stand up!

[clapping]

I accept this honor.

Normally, I wouldn't be caught anywhere
near a high school gymnasium.

But, you have my word...

This will be a prom, not to forget!

[cheering, clapping]

Now, who can show me
where the gymnasium is?

Okay, okay. You've beaten the crap out of me...

can we stop now?

Yes, whatever you think.

Man, how did you get so good?

You're the best player on the team.

Whatever. Did you decide about prom yet?

I don't know if I really feel like going.

Come on man, we're all going.

It's not a big deal.

I know.

So, what are you doing later tonight?

Not much. I might have to work at the deli.

That's about it.

If you're not doing anything,
you should give me a call.

Okay, I will call if I'm able to.

Dang, Sasha. Do you have to be
so polite about everything?

Yes. I mean, no. I don't know.

Okay, Mr. Formality. I gotta run.

Talk after tomorrow's practice?

Yes.

I know what you're up to...

You're reading another 10,000
page book, aren't you?

Maybe.

It's London. The year is 1878. You're bored.

You wander through the woods
and find a time machine...

and land in New York City.

It's 1980. You're still bored.

You decide to start your own fashion label,

and there's huge buzz about your first show.

Okay....?

Your boyfriend is the singer of a punk rock band,

but he overdoses hours before your first show.

You've spray painted your dress,

your shrink dumps you, your dog dies,

and you break a heel.

Should I break the heel now?

No, no, no, no! Not yet.

You're wander the streets,
caught between two worlds. Distraught.

Shouldn't I be crying and stuff?

No, no. Tears are redundant at this point.

Nobody in the history of all of time
has ever been this distraught.

Kim, pretend someone stole your phone,

and nuked it in the microwave or something.

Okay. I think I got it.

Knock over the trash can.

Go totally nuts!

Uh, Kim!?

Kim, wait!!

Kim, Kim, Kim, Kim. Stop!

I kind of love it!

Instant fabulous background!
Kim, you're a genius!

Frankie, are you getting all of this?

I got it all.
This is going to be our best ever!

But we are so fudged,
like, Brownie Blizzard fudged!

Hold on a second,
I need to reapply some lipstick.

[police siren]

We are Peanut Buster Parfiat'd.

I'll do all the talking.

Just make sure to get some shots,

in case they whip out the handcuffs.

Well, I guess that's all I need.

Sasha, Sasha...

Why are you going to go easy on them?!

There's nothing we can do about it now.

They broke the law, did they not?

Yes, they did.

They've agreed to have
the graffiti removed by noon tomorrow.

That rich kid is just going to
put it on his parent's credit card.

It is not a big deal to him.

I know, but they are in your class.

And they all have a clean history with the police.

They said it was a student project.

What?! For which subject?

I'm not happy with it either, Sasha.

But it was an accident.

How could that have been an accident?!

And they've agreed to helpwith the neighborhood clean-up this Sunday.

As well as clean the kitchen.

I clean the kitchen all the time,

what am I being punished for?

And Mr. Castillo...

You mean Rene? His name is Rene.

Unbelievable!

(mouthing) I'm sorry.

He's not just a sporto. He reads.

What, did you snoop through his bag?

Just a little.

It's full of books and journals...

and guess what?
-What?

He's into fashion.

Fashion?!

Well, ruffled shirts at least.

[car horn]

Oh, there's Kim's mom.

Aren't your parents
going to flip when they see the bill?

I've spent way more when they've left town.

I think they're getting a discount with this trip.

Are your parents ever home?

More than you'd know. It's ghastly!

The world of interior design would collapse

without my mother's approval of wallpaper.

Oh, lighten up. They're very nice people.

Oh yeah, and great parents!

Enough of that.

Let's talk about my new boyfriend, Sasha.

I "je t'aime" him.

Oh, here we go.

One has to have goals in life.

Sasha's your goal in life?

One of them.

It's in his eyes,
I can see that he thinks about me.

Rene... he likes girls.

Yeah, but he's never met
anybody like me before.

True...

I just don't see what the attraction is about.

Well, you don't have to like him.

You just need to learn to get used to him.

He's going to be my husband some day.

Sure... Whatever.

I'm still confused. What's the theme again?

"Fake" and what else?

We won't pin down an actual theme.

That's been done.

Our theme will be more abstract.

We just need to think:
Fake. Fabulous. Fantasy. Fantastic!

It will be over-the-top glamour.

Glamour is all about faking it.

It's in the very definition of the word.

Illusion is what it's all about this year.

What's that supposed to look like?

Ummm...

Fake flowers lining the ceiling...

Or maybe an eight-foot-tall chandelier.

And how much is that going to cost?

We'll hire models for paparazzi,

And they'll hound each couple
as they enter the grand march.

No matter how un-photogenic they are.

What about the official prom portraits?!

Can't we just us the paparazzi photos?

I'm here to see Rene Castillo.

Are you the guy from the party rental place?

Uh, yeah.

He's right here.

Rene, we have to run to class...

That's fine. I can help.

My name's Danny.

I don't believe we've met before. I'm Rene.

I know you.

You probably don't know me,
because I'm a junior.

Why are you dressed like a mechanic?

I thought it would help me attract guys.

Is it working?

Uuuuuhhhhh....

I work in my dad's party rental garage.

It gets pretty dusty in there.

Well, um...

Let's talk about lighting for the prom.

Hi. It's Frankie, right?

Yeah, um, Sasha Orloov?

Yes, but you pronounced it all wrong.

It's Orlov.

Or-lov? Is that right?

You've got it, but can you
remember it for all of the time?

Yes, I can remember it for all of the time.

You dropped this at the deli the other night.

Oh. Um, thanks.

Um... Why are you throwing those flowers out?

They still look nice.

They're starting to go bad.

Tomorrow, they'll look like crapola.

Some of them already do.

I'm sure they'll look like crap,

buried at the bottom of the trash.

So, I hear from my father
that you'll be at the deli

on Sunday for the neighborhood clean-up.

Yeah, I'm sorry.
Things got really insane that night.

It just sort of happened.
We weren't thinking...

I'm really sorry.

But the photos that we took,
were totally kick-ass.

What are the photos for?

Rene and I have been playing Vogue magazine

for a really long time...

Maybe we could... brainstorm photo ideas,

after the clean-up?

[car horn honking]

Hey, what's going on?

Oh nothing, just finishing up work.

I'm sure you remember Rene from English class?

Of course, you tried to destroy

my family's business the other night.

Yeah... Sorry about that.

We honestly didn't know
it was your family's business.

We would've only spray-painted
the sidewalk had we known.

Well, in an attempt to make it up to you,

my parents are still out of town,

and we're having a small dinner party on Saturday.

We'd love to have you.

I... I really shouldn't attend.

I have to be up early for the clean-up and...

So do we.

Come on, it'll be fun.

You only have to bring yourself, right Frankie?

I don't know, I just...

Okay, then it's settled.

I'll see you two at eight.

[school bell ringing]

Okay, so we've all decided on the theme,

and we'll announce it Monday, right?

Once we're in the gym,

where's the basketball team supposed to practice?

Can't they play outside in the grass?

It'll be nice out.

We still need to discuss the portraits.

Yes. Thank you.

I figured that one out this morning.

The theme of the portraits will be

"Romance in the Swiss Alps"

meet the "World Cup Super Bowl."

It's just called the World Cup,

the Super Bowl is a different thing.

We'll transform the gymnasium into the Alps,

complete for the World Cup Bowl...

Where's that normally held?

Usually... Brazil!

Well, this year it's in Paris!

I'm constructing the Eiffel Tower,

and we'll rent gigantic fans

for each couple to run through the fake snow...

Soccer balls floating in the air...

[phone message tone]

Ugh, how could I have missed a call?

How are you supposed to
dribble a basketball in the grass?

You have two messages.

Rene? It's your mother.

Your father and I were having a nice dinner,

and our credit card was denied.

I don't know what you're buying or doing...

give me a call A.S.A.P. All the info...

Okay, where were we?

[doorbell ringing]

[doorbell ringing]

Oh Holly, that's a terrible idea. You're fired.

You can't fire me.I'm, like, the creative director I thought.

And I'm the editor.

French Vogue is no place

for such low-class ideas of glamour!

Bite my burger!

It'd be a blessing if your fashion tastes

were 2nd class or B-List or whatever.

But instead you're 17th class and on the Y-List.

At least your not on the Z-List, Holly.

Thanks Sasha.

Okay, children.

We still have to come up with
our next fashion shoot idea.

Can we decide on the color of the suit?

- Pink!
- Black!

Who's designing it?

Me, of course.
So it should be pink.

It's Spring, so there's no other color option.

Anything else would be a flat-out crime.

Especially black.

So, we have a pink wool suit for Kim to wear...

What's her look? What's her story?

Your whole portfolio can't be my poor little sister.

Besides, your last shoot ended in tears,

and the police threatening to hand-cuff her.

You've got a point.

Can we at least decide on the story for our next shoot?

Let's start with the pink suit and go from there.

Why is he wearing a pink suit?

It's Valentine's Day?

A funeral?

No. He's in Vegas, getting married,

and he's wearing a white suit.

He decides to tour a candy factory,

and he falls into a tub of taffy dye

and it turns pink.

What if it's the depression?

And he and his partner
have been dancing for 48 hours,

and it's, like, 100 degrees...

and their clothes are all soaking wet...

The wool would shrink on his body.

That's brilliant.

Sasha, what's the story?

What's the story, Sasha?

You guys, don't put him on the spot like that.

We have a lot of good ideas already.

No, Sasha has a story.

What is it?

It's dumb.

It can't be any worse than
the B.S. we've been coming up with.

Okay, but don't laugh.

We won't. Promise.

Okay, so he's got the wool suit.

Pink wool.

Pink wool, yeah.

It's 2087, at the dawn of a nuclear winter.

And he knows the end is coming, so...

he runs to the next town to ask

his life-long crush out on a date.

He runs and runs.

Because the suit is wool,
it shrinks the hotter he gets.

It shrinks right on his body,

and it gets so tight
that he has to go to the hospital

because it's restricting his heart.

The doctor says that it's not the suit,

but the girl who is giving him the heart attack,

so he has to ask her out on a date
in order to save his own life.

Does he ever ask her out?

No.

So, he runs to the top of the old water tower,

and he throws himself off it.

It's perfect.

The clothes are alive and changing,

right on his body.

We get shots of him running through a field,

and then through downtown in a smaller suit.

By the time he gets to the tower,

the suit has shrunk

into a pair of

pink ruffled briefs.

Ruffled briefs?!

Don't you just love it?!

[doorbell ringing]

Crap-attack. It's my mom.

She's way too early.
Anyone have gum? I gotta go.

You're going to miss dessert.

Save me some, okay?

Love the ruffled undies idea. Go with that.

So, how can we help?

You two are fine,I'm going to get rid of the wine bottles.

Oh, good idea.

Holly is a lot nicer
than I thought she would be.

That's being polite.

Holly can be nice if she wants to be,

but she usually chooses to be

a 50-foot crab cake
that's, like, doused in vinegar.

You all have your own language.

It's hard to understand sometimes.

Oh yeah, I'm sure it is.

Um, I would love to see
some of your other shoots sometime,

some of your other photographs.

They sound really creative.

That's a nice way of putting it.

What do you mean?

Most people don't understand what we do.

I bet I would.

One more request...

Um, yes?

May I kiss you?

Uh, seriously?

Of course.

Uh... um.

Am I interrupting anything?

We, were just talking about Holly and...

I asked Frankie if I could kiss her.

Oh. Really?

Yes.

What did she say?

Frankie, what did you say?

I said that he could kiss me,

if he kissed you first.

I mean, just to be fair and everything.

You are the host, after all.

But Frankie, we didn't...

It's part of the deal, Sasha.
Take it or leave it.

Frankie, this is just...

I accept the conditions of the deal.

Great. So I get to be
the "loser-nobody-to-kiss" charity case.

It's just a kiss, Rene.

That's it? That's not a real kiss.

You could kiss
dried dog poop like that if you had to.

Thanks Frankie.

You know what I mean.

It's not a real kiss.

And that's part of the deal, Sasha.

Wait a minute,
what do you mean a real kiss?

Well, I think you know what I mean.

What do I get out of this deal again?

A kiss from me.

A real one?

Five seconds, maximum.

I want a preview first.

Okay, back to business.

Rene?

Rene?

I think he passed out. What do we do?

Put his feet on the table.

He's out cold.

I'll grab a pillow.

Watch out for his head.

How was the kiss?

You tell me. How was it?

Like a dream.

Wow, not bad, kids.

It's not a party
until the host is passed out,

and there's been
some boy-on-boy action.

So... Frankie.

You know, I should probably get going.

Um, I have some stuff to do.

Wait a minute, not so fast.
We had a deal, right?

About that...

[doorbell ringing, urgent knocking]

I should get that.

[doorbell ringing, urgent knocking]

Our Russian agent informed us,

that this is where the party is at.

May we come in?

Haha. Nice bedazzled vest!

Did I say you could come in?

Sasha invited us.

Well, consider yourselves uninvited.

Oh, I didn't know this fancy house was yours.

Did you and Rene finally
get married in that big lesbian wedding?

I heard they did.

You finally found
the girl of your dreams in Rene.

Were you the groom?

Sasha, what in the hell are you doing?

Sorry Rene, they just stormed in on me.

What are you guys doing here?

I think we
should be asking you that question.

Oh, hi Jimmy.

I didn't realize
that you were on the invite list.

Jimmy? Who the "F" calls you that?

Are you going to take that
from this little designer fago?!

Okay guys, we should leave.

The party's over here anyway. Let's go.

But Sasha...
It looks so cozy with these rejects.

Sasha, come on.

His parents know my parents. Okay?

They asked me to come here.

We should just go. Come on.

I'll be right there, I've got to get my coat.

I'm sorry about those guys, they're just...

Total ass-cakes?

Yeah. And they're drunk.

And they're not normally like that.

They must've found out I was here
from my parents or something.

Oh. And your parents must've found out from

Rene's parents, because they're "friends."

I had to get rid of them.

Rene?

Thank you for getting rid of your friends.

Now, would you please leave?

This is going to suck!

Like, twenty elephant butts.

Tell me about it.

Hi. You made it just in time.

I will go get Sasha.

Oh, we'll bump into him later.

There's a lot of work to do
and we're ready to go.

Yeah, what can we start with?

Let's see...

You can pick up the trash,
with the other volunteers.

- Sounds great.
- Yeah.

You two are the most efficient workers.

And Mr. Castillo, thank you once again

for having a catered sushi lunch brought in.

We just felt so bad about the graffiti.

Ah, do not think about it again.

Are you looking for your coat?

- Yes.
- I think I saw it in the break room.

I will get it for you.

Did you see that?

He didn't say one word to us.

But we didn't say anything to him either.

Yeah, but it's his screw up.

He has to talk first.
Those are the rules.

[phone ringing]

Fried Bologna Vintage, this is Rene.

How may I help you?

Hello. Rene, it's Sasha.

Do you have time to talk right now?

Oh, ummm. I mean, this is Randy.

Rene?

Uh... It's a great day here at Fried Bologna.

Randy Meshbesher speaking.

Rene, I just wanted toapologize again for what my friend said...

Anyone there? Fried Bologna.

Anyone there? Randy speaking...

Do you guys sell bowling shirts?

Sure. Against the back wall.

It's me. Sasha just called to apologize.

Maybe we should forgive him.

He's taken the first step.

You just want to get in his pants,
now that you've had your kiss.

That's not true.
I don't even remember that kiss.

I was in dreamland. Remember?

Come on... So he threw us
under the bus for a second

We'd do the same to him,
and you know it.

I'll think about it.

I have to finish up with these damn flowers.

Okay. Bye.

Sorry I ruined the party.
How can I make it up to you two?

Hi. Frankie.

Hi Sasha.

Hi. Um...

Sorry to surprise you here at work,

I felt that my note
was an unsatisfactory apology,

so I'm here in person
to do it the correct way.

That's nice.

I should never have left with those guys.

I was there with you two, and

I'm sorry I acted the way that I did.

I should never have lied
about not wanting to be there,

because I did want to be there...

Okay, okay. I get it.This doesn't have to be a Lifetime special.

Look, I have to finish up inside.

I'm serious about this.
We just started to be friends.

What can I do?

What's going on with you?

Did they come out with
a darker shade of eyeliner or something?

No. That's my dream...

I'm about to make your dream come true.

What is it? Don't torture me.

Promise not to pass out?

It's about Sasha, isn't it?

Maybe.

Don't mess with me Frankie.

Okay, remember that certain someone

who trashed our party
and tried to apologize?

Yes, I remember that certain someone.

Well, that certain someone
has agreed to help us out

on our next photo shoot.

What's he going to do?

He said he'd carry
my camera equipment all day long.

Isn't that great?
Now we can all be friends.

And you can marry him someday.

Carry the equipment? Is that it?

And... Well...

Model your pink ruffled underwear.

You wouldn't lie to me
about that, would you?

I would never ever lie
about pink ruffled underwear.

I'll be right back.

Where are you going?

To get the pink fabric.

We don't have any time to waste.

The wardrobe has to be perfect.

What's going on with our Boy Wonder?

That guy Sasha has agreed to model for us.

You mean the guy Rene fainted over?

That very one.

Trouble!

Okay, I'm out of here.

I have to get back to the flower shop.

Rene, I'm leaving.

Okay, we'll talk soon.

I'm still working on your prom dress.

Don't think I've forgotten.
You're going to love it!

I'm not going to need a prom dress.

Yes. You will.

Whatever.

Aren't you going to need Sasha's size

before you start sewing his undies?

Nope. I've already read his size

off the back label of his jeans.

Don't you think this is a lot of work

to do over a straight boy?

Who says he's straight?

Besides, nobody's 100% straight.

What percentage do you think he is?

Let's not talk about that.

Take it from me, mister.

I've been there and back
and it weren't pretty.

Thanks, grandpa-no-fun.

I just want you to be
a little more realistic about this.

That's not a word
that resides in my world.

Craig, where's the snow machine?

It'll be here in a couple of days.

Fine. That'll leave us time to distribute

my leaflet on my fashion suggestions

for the student body.

What leaflet?

Just some ideas
on how people can look their best

and match the gymnasium decor

in the chicest way.

Um, match the gym?

Yes. Things like:
Where to get plucked and tucked,

Trimmed and slimmed.

Dipped and tipped.

Manis, pedis...
You know, the basics.

Oh, like make-over stuff.

Yes, and other suggestions, like

don't be practical,
don't wear tennis shoes,

don't get pregnant
and ruin your figure,

don't wear glasses...

Well, what are the do's?

Do go for tone on tone,

do eat salad,

do wear deodorant,

do trade in the family car

for one that matches your prom gown.

Can we talk about Rene and his prom?

I know, what a joke. Right?

We were supposed to destroy prom,

but now, I think he's actually into it.

I know. We were going to
burn that prom down to the ground.

The gym was supposed to be
reduced to a pile of ashes.

He's so serious now.

Maybe a little too serious.

He is borderline mother-of-the-bride.

Yeah.

Rene wants to go with you, right?

Yes, he won't stop bugging me about it.

I thought I'd never say this, but...

I'm going.

You are?

Yes. To prom. I'm going.

I think it might be the end of the world.

Is it the apocalypse? Yes, it is.

I think it is.

Why are you going?

Oh, why not?

Don't you think we have to go?

At least to support Rene and stuff?

I guess.

Besides, some loser is bound to puke beer

all over the basketball court.Besides, some loser is bound to puke beer

all over the basketball court.

Then we get to point and laugh...

and take pictures of the puke,

and then take pictures
of us laughing and pointing.

Do you have a date?

Who needs a date?
That's so last year.

Hi Sasha.

Hey, Rene. How are you?

I've been busy,
getting ready for tomorrow's shoot.

Are you ready?

I think so.
Uh, do you have the suit?

No, but I have some sketches
if you'd like to see.

Wow, these are really great.

Rene, you're really talented.

What?

It's nothing, it's just...

I never told you before, but...

the gown you designed
to destroy my parent's deli...

It was really cool.

It looked like something out of a magazine.

Thanks Sasha.

That means a lot to me to hear that.

Well, I better get going,

I've got to get
my beauty sleep for tomorrow.

Okay.

I'll see you tomorrow.

See ya.

We're too late. Craptastic.

Let's break out the lights.

I don't have enough with me.

The light is so nice now, so warm.

We just need a big light
to hang from the ceiling.

That's a great idea.

You two, wait here. I'll be right back.

What do you think he's up to now?

No idea.

Uh, are you still open?

Yeah, for about another ten minutes.

Aren't you Danny, the A/V guy?

Yeah, I helped set up

spotlights for you for prom.

You work here?

Yeah.

Are you French by any chance?

No... Why?

I don't know, it's the bandanna,

you look like a French actor in a dream,

not in a dream, but in a movie that I, uh....

Look! There's Rene.

He's brought a friend.

Who is that guy?

I think he goes to our school.

I don't know,

but Rene likes him.

Uh, what?

A lot.

How can you tell?

I can just tell.

You know, I would hate to ruin our

photographer/model professional relationship,

but I believe we need to discuss our contract.

Do you want more money for working overtime?

Well, that wouldn't hurt, but

I'm referring to a prior contract.

What contract would that be?

Our kissing contract from the party.

Oh, that contract.

That was deemed null and void

due to the bad behavior

of one Mr. Sasha Orlov.

I don't believe so.

But you got your kiss.

That was just a preview.

It was not real.

The kiss was supposed
to last at least five seconds.

Fine. It's really not a big deal,

but since you're such a nerd for the rules,

go ahead.

Geez, you call that a kiss?

You are impossible.

I hope this works for you guys.

You're paying way too much for it not to work.

Yeah, I think it will.

Thanks again for staying open late for us.

I really appreciate it.

No problem.

Take your time.

Please don't tell Rene about this.

Can we just finish the shoot?

Yeah, let's just get it over with.

Okay, so we've the light on loan

for about half an hour.

Let's get shooting.

I'm just going to
take some test shots first.

Okay, Sasha.

Time to strip down to those pink briefs.

You're the boss.

I'm won't get arrested for this, will I?

This is the part where our character

throws himself off the tower?

Yes. So, you are sad and confused

and heartbroken.

And completely embarrassed! Right?

I feel like I should really throw myself off.

Can we just shoot this
before I die of embarrassment?

I'm ready.

Your wardrobe is riding up a little bit.

Can you pull it down in front?

Too much!

Rene, you should just do it.

Are you sure?

You're the designer, I'm just the model.

Should I spot you
in case you faint or something?

Very funny.
Totally unprofessional, Frankie!

That's right, I forgot about that.

I'll catch you again if you start to go.

Unnecessary!

Now, Sasha. Look sad.

He's all yours, Frankie.

Do you want to change something?

No... It looks great.

What?

Nothing. It looks great. Let's shoot.

How about more serious?

It's really girlie, Rene!

I think I'm going to stay home,

and watch a horror movie the night of prom.

Well, it's pretty, but...

Let's see how it twirls!

This is too pink for me.

This must've taken you days to make.

Thank you, Rene.

I think I might faint.

You look so beautiful in it!

I'll go.

You just got here.

No. I'll go with you, to prom.

For real.

- Really?!
- Yes!

So, you have your tux and everything?

Yeah.

Sasha, listen.

This is as sincere as I'm going to get,
so you better pay attention.

Okay.

You're acting all psycho-killer quiet, and well,

I think you should go to prom with Frankie

instead of Hardy and me.

Do you really think so?

I thought you didn't like her?

I think Frankie and Rene are freaks, I...

I guess they're pretty funny though.

And you're totally into her.

What?

Just, call her, man.

Sasha, how did you know I was here?

I just took a chance.

What's going on?

I, uh... Ummm...

I know that you throw flowers into the trash

almost every single day,

but I thought that this was the right gesture

for this moment.

Which moment?

Oh... yes.

Here's the gesture.

And here goes the moment...

I'm thinking that you think

that prom is a nerd event,

but we could make it fun, and...

Would you be my date to the prom?

Um...

Frankie?

Help me, you have to say something.

Can I think about it for a while?

Of course.

You could throw those flowers away

if you feel like it.

I know how much you like to do that...

Yes.

What did you say?

Well,

I thought about it,

and that's my answer.

I've got the results
from our photo shoot. Interested?

- Should I be afraid?
- No, of course not.

Ha!

Don't you just love them?

I don't think I've ever looked so... naked.

Where's Frankie?

Oh, she had to cover a shift at the store.

Oh.

You should tell her she did a great job

considering her inexperienced talent.

No, you're a natural.

Time to contact
all the top agencies in New York.

You've already got the chic model name.

No last name, just Sasha.

We could go to fashion week in Paris...

Maybe steal a gondola...

Get a tan in Capri... That kind of stuff.

You have big dreams. Big ideas.

Doesn't everybody?

And if they don't,
they should. Don't you think?

If they do,

then they should pursue them.

I guess that's the hardest part.

Deciding to pursue them.

I mean, once you do that, things get easier.

Yeah, that and
a few credit cards and a solid plan.

A plan and thousands of dollars!

Now, you're getting it.

So, what are some things you're dying to pursue?

Oh, you know...

The American dream, maybe a career in writing.

A life full of family and friends.

Aren't you going to ask me what I'm after in life?

What are your plans for the future, Mr. Castillo?

Hmmm, the usual.

A flat in Paris.

Maybe a bungalow in Miami Beach.

A design studio in New York.

The cover of French Vogue by 22.

And someone like you.

What are we talking about again?

You.

And, uh... me.

Rene, I have to be honest with you.

I don't really think there is a "you and me"

the way you are describing.

Well...

Don't you ever think about me?

For no reason at all...

Driving...

Do I ever just pop into your head?

Because I think about you.

I do think about you,

but as a friend.

A friend you kiss?

- Rene, that was just...
- A joke?

Is that what that was?

No. That was just for fun.

A thing friends do for fun.

And Frankie? Is she just a friend?

I don't know...

I guess we'll find out after the prom.

What about prom?

Well, you know.

She's agreed to be my date.

[car tires screeching]

What did you do to my dress?!

When did you agree to go to prom with Sasha?

Why are you freaking out so bad?

How hard would it have been

to tell him you already had a date with me?

Rene.

When were you going to tell me?

Just let me explain.

When, Frankie?

The night before prom?

- Two hours before?
- No. I...

You just waited until your dress was finished.

Well, guess what? Your dress is finished!

Like this fake-ass friendship.

Good, then you can have this stupid skull ring back!

You're a nightmare!

Rene, don't go.

I thought...

I thought that you would be happy for me.

Happy?

I mean with you...

I didn't think prom would be that serious

because we're not dating.

You're right, it doesn't matter to me.

I only designed the whole thing and your dress,

so I can sit at home and watch The Golden Girls

and gorge myself on Hot Pockets.

It's just that...

You and I are just friends.

I've heard that line enough today.

Rene?

You didn't even like him. Remember?

It just happened. I don't know how.

You're the one who showed me who he really is.

And now, I know who you really are.

Adios.

Good morning everyone!

Good news.

I've got a more coherent concrete idea

for this year's prom.

It's a lot easier to understand,

and I think it will be fun.

It's called, "Apocalypse Prom."

Doesn't that sound great?

What is that supposed to look like?

The year is 3092,

the ozone is over,

Everyone's skin has turned red,

Clouds are no longer made of white,

but of gray exhaust.

Natalie, are you getting this?

Where's Natalie?

She quit!

Great!! Good!!

Umm, uh. Where was I? Uh...

Oh yes, everyone has black lungs.

So, we'll need black paper-mache lungs

hanging from the ceiling.

Like, hundreds of them!

An over-turned car with fire shooting out of it,

right next to the punch bowl.

And we'll hire a professional team of make-up artists

for the official portraits.

Won't that be expensive?

We'll just use the Swiss Alps money!

What else?

Professional make-up artists?

Yes!

We need a team of professionals

to transform everyone into the walking dead,

complete with bloody eyes,
open wounds, and black teeth.

So, we need, like, horror movie

special effects people?

Yes! Exactly!

Go! Get them on the phone and book them!

We don't have much time

to pull off an accurate apocalypse!!

Dude, is that Sasha?

in, like, women's underwear?

It totally is.

I don't get it.

It's gotta be those new queer-bait friends of his.

Let's go show it to James.

Damn! No wonder Frankie's going to prom with him.

You're into that?

I didn't think I was, but dang.

Maybe there's something to be said

for working out and all that crap.

All that fresh air, no doubt.

Nasty!

"Forever Midnight" black paint,

What are you up to now, Mr. Castillo?

Decorating for prom.

Ah, these are for prom?

Yeah.

Didn't you already buy pink paint for that?

Yeah, I did,

but we, um...

Everything changed.

Oh, I see.

Ahhhhh...

Sorry, but the machine is declining your card.

SASHA: The photo of me in the underwear

was all over the school,

I just think it would be better,

if, I don't know,

if we didn't go to prom together.

[knocking]

Geeez, dad.

So, it's getting close to prom,

I haven't even seen your dress.

Can we talk about this later?

I don't feel well right now.

And your date for prom?

I still need to meet him.

Why?

I just do.

Everything okay?

I just need to lie down for a while.

These shoulders are too big for you, Sasha.

It will not do.

The man said it would fit.

Maybe I picked the wrong suit.

Well, it does not fit at all.

You will have to get a new tuxedo for the prom,

Frankie will not like it if you wear this one.

She, uh, won't see it.

Of course she will. What are you talking about?

She's no longer my date to the prom.

What? What happened?

But you were so happy to be taking her.

Things got complicated.

Why are we even worrying about the tuxedo?

I'm still going with Jamesand some of the other guys from the team.

Can you attend without a date?

Of course you can.

It's just a stupid tradition, this prom.

Look, I'm going to take this off.

Okay? I'll get a better-fitting one tomorrow.

Okay.

Goodnight, Sasha.

[school bell ringing]

Next up with an original poem, is Holly.

"Can you see to the end of forever..."

Holly, excuse me for interrupting,

What is the title of your poem?

It's called, "Summer."

Okay, great. Continue.

Summer

Can you see to the end of forever?

I can

The dirt falls on my forehead like rain

The tan teens live out their endless summer

For me? An eternal slumber

Don't feel bad

I had ten minutes of happiness

Okay, nine.

I'm done counting though, so take me home

My dark cloud

My dearest dirt, Hold me close

Caress my cheek

Keep me cool and without a tan all summer

Without end

Forever

Thank you, Holly.

Your poem will give us a lot to... discuss,

after we hear from one more student.

Last up for the day is,

Sasha Orlov.

Sasha, would you please read your poem?

This poem has no title.

Where are you now? I wonder

I dreamed I found you in every song I ever heard

All the sad ones, of course

Even a happy one or two

I wanted to scream from the tower

Nobody will ever see you like I do

Nobody

I can't even see your face now

I close my eyes

And see a bright flash of your dark eyes in the sun

A hidden smile

How I wish I could see your face again

Even in a dream

FRANKIE: Hey, Rene. It's me.

Call me back, okay?

FRANKIE: It's me again. I really need to talk to you.

Your friend Rene stopped by.

He left this for you.

Okay. Just put it on the bed there.

FRANKIE: I know you're there.

Come on, Rene. Please pick up.

Hey, ladies!!

Who's ready for prom?!

Park the car, I'll give you a ride!

Don't be so stuck up!

Come on baby, don't leave me here like this!

Sasha!

What are you doing? Hey!

Sasha!

Where are you going, man?

I'm sorry James, I'm not in the mood to party.

It's not just a party, it's your prom. Come on.

It's just what you need, let's...

Let's just go, man.

I don't want to ruin your night.

Okay? Just go have fun with Eli and Hardy.

What? You don't want to spend your prom

with a group of wasted degenerates?

It's a very appealing proposal,

but just not tonight. Okay?

Okay.

Hey, Sasha.

Break a leg with Frankie,

tonight or... whenever.

Good evening.

Hi.

It's Danny, correct?

Yeah... Sasha?

Yeah, that's me.

Um, could you do me a favor?

Well, tonight?

Yeah.

I'm not sure.

I have to drop something off at the prom.

That's perfect.

Oh, hello.

I was just closing up.

I regret to do this to you so late.

Not a problem.

Could you help me with something?

Are you Sasha?

Yeah, how did you know?

I saw the pictures. Nice briefs.

Thanks.

What can I do for you?

I may need a couple of suits.

Alone on prom night?

Dial-a-clich.

I thought I might find you here.

What are you doing?

Finishing up a shoot.

Without me? How rude.

Why are you so dressed up?

It's prom night, remember that?

I almost forgot.

And, I believe that you are my gorgeous,

slightly cranky date for the prom.

Well, I would go, but my dress was

ruined in a horrible 'roid rage tantrum

by some major bitch-cake.

I know... I know...

That's why I came prepared,

with the big guns.

Wow, it's not even pink.

I thought that this was more you.

I kind of like it.

You can't say no to this.

Just agree to be mine for tonight.

Frankie, will you be my date tonight?

As long as you can promise me

that this dress isn't flammable, I'll go.

Now, go downstairs and try the dress on

before I have a shit-fit.

Deal. Nobody wants to see that.

Hurry, we don't have much time.

You know, I never got a chance to apologize to you

about saying yes to Sasha...

Don't worry.

I would have said yes to Sasha, too.

I think we both know that.

We don't have time to get all sappy.

Let's just get going.

Look, I always knew that he liked you,

I just didn't want to believe it.

Besides, I stopped fainting over him a long time ago.

So, come on. Let's get going.

Okay, okay. But what's my look for the evening?

I'll tell you later.

Let's see how you look.

I can't stand the excitement!

Is this suit in style? Or is it,

how do you put it? So over?

It's so totally not over!

What are you doing here?

I came to gather up my friends,

for the evening's festivities.

I could hug you, but I'm sure

you still hate me for the whole

underwear pin-up scandal.

Well,

I shall recover somehow.

Ruffled underwear too?

Of course.

Well, listen. I've had three cups of coffee,

so I really need to go to the bathroom.

You stay here, okay?

Okay.

Okay, Rene. I think I love the...

Where's Rene?

He went downstairs.

What are you doing here?

I came to take you to the prom,

if you'll agree to go with me.

I already have a date, with Rene.

I figured that might be the case, so

I was wondering if I could take the both of you.

Don't be ridiculous.

Isn't Rene on the prom committee?

Couldn't he bend the rules?

It's too late for that.

He could form a whole new committee,

and make up his own rules.

Oh, and forget everything
that we've done to each other?

Sounds like fun.

What if we just started over?

Make believe that tonight

is the first night we ever met.

It's not that easy.

What if it was that easy?

Hi, I'm Rene Castillo.

Nice to meet you.

Sasha Orlov. Likewise.

You must be Frankie Jain.

How are you?

Confused.

Well, isn't everyone?

Frankie?

Fine! You crazy bitches.

I'm Frankie. Frankie Jain.

And I have two dates to prom.

I have two dates, too.

Me too.

You can cancel on me again, you know.

- Why would I do that?
- Come on, Frankie.

I won't burn your dress this time.

What are my two dates whispering about?

I want Frankie and you to cancel on me

so you two can have a real prom.

Well, we'll see who will be doing the canceling.

What are you talking about?

Welcome to Danny's chauffeur service.

Sasha mentioned that you might

need a ride this evening?

That's correct.

Frankie?

Rene, are you okay?

What? Yeah, I'm fine.

Do you need some smelling salts?

Ugh, no!

How did you pull all of this off?

I had some help from friends.

Or, friends of friends.

My friends were too busy getting drunk.

Well, shall we?

[whispering]

Hey Danny, can we stop at the gas station?

I need some gum.

We'll be right back.

Hey. Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm just a little nervous.

Why?

The whole prom thing.

I sort of changed the theme

in the last minute, and

I'm not sure anyone's going to get it.

Oh.

How bizarre.

You heard noise coming from the engine, too?

Heard what?

That clicking noise.

I think it's coming from the engine.

No, those two are acting weird.

Frankie hates gum.

Oh.

Well, I still better check under the hood.

Okay.

Hey, Rene. Can you give me a hand?

Sure. I'll be right there.

What's going on here?

I just need a hand,

straightening my bow tie.

Why are you wearing a suit?

Is it part of your chauffeur costume?

Sasha lent it to me,

so I could,

ask you to prom. Officially.

Oh... Well.

I know I'm a junior and all, but

would you be my...?

I accept.

Yes. Let's be dates.

I just really need to sit down right now.

Is prom over?

Did they like the decorations?

We haven't even gone yet.

And at this rate,

it's going to take us forever.

Forever?

I'll take it.

What?

I mean,

Are we still going together?

Of course we are.

One question:

Why me, Danny?

Do you remember meeting me in the gym?

Yes.

Well, I kind of knew that day,

that we'd end up on a date sooner or later.

So, why not just have our first date,

be to your prom?

My goodness.

Huh?

Nothing.

I'm feeling a lot better now.

Let's go get those guys.

Wait a second.

What?

This.

We are totally late.

Fashionably!

Which is the only way to attend any event.

Hi James.

Holly?

Whatever.

Hey you guys, we'll be in in a minute.

You guys... look insane.

Can he come up for air?

Who's your hot date, Rene?

None of your business.

Save a dance for me, Holly.

And don't catch mono.

I'll catch whatever I want.

You don't own me.

You are the best kisser.

Maybe we should get married.

Yeah, whatever. Just don't stop kissing me.

How can a hallway look so...

Rene, did you design all this?

Yeah. I did.

What is the fantasy behind all of it?

It's inspired by real life.

Real is the new fake.

Real life? That's our theme?

- Yeah.
- Why?

I just realized that our life

was just as chock-full of drama

as any fashion magazine.

All we needed was a little light

shining on it for us to notice.

This is way better than my searchlight truck.

Well, what about me?

You said you had a theme for me.

What's my look?

Your look is the best

that I've ever dreamed up.

What is it? Am I an astronaut from Brazil

who lives in Tokyo

who's forced to become a supermodel?

It's a little more complex than that.

Well, what is it?

What's my story?

It's the story of a girl who finally gives in.

Gives in? To what?

To... well,

stuff like love, I guess.

That's it?

What could be better than that?

Shall we?

Yes.

How could you do that to me back there?

Do what?

Almost make me lose my cool.

Would it have been the end of the world?

Maybe.

We can't go back now.

I'm ready.

Me too.

I'm not, but if everyone else is,

I'll fake it like a hooker.

Let's go before I change my mind.