Dear Evan Hansen (2021) - full transcript

Dear Evan Hansen...

Today is going to be an amazing day,

and here's why.

Because today,
all you have to do is just be yourself.

But also confident.
That's-that's important.

And interesting.
Easy to talk to.

Approachable.
But mostly just be yourself.

You know, that's number one, obviously.
Be yourself.

But, like,
a confident version of yourself,

like, approachable and interesting

and not weird or anxious or depressed.



But you're not weird
or anxious or depressed.

I don't even know
why you're bringing it up.

You can't be scared
to talk to other people.

You said that you'd be better.

You said this year would be different.

You're over-thinking it.

Do you like having no friends?

All you have to do is just be yourself.

♪ I've learned to slam on the brake ♪

♪ Before I even turn the key ♪

♪ Before I make the mistake ♪

♪ Before I lead with the worst of me ♪

♪ Give them no reason to stare ♪

♪ No slipping up if you slip away ♪



♪ So I got nothing to share ♪

♪ No, I got nothing to say ♪

♪ Step out, step out of the sun ♪

♪ If you keep getting burned ♪

♪ Step out, step out of the sun
because you've learned ♪

♪ Because you've learned ♪

♪ On the outside always looking in ♪

♪ Will I ever be more
than I've always been? ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm tap, tap,
tapping on the glass ♪

♪ I'm waving through a window ♪

♪ Oh, I try to speak,
but nobody can hear ♪

♪ So I wait around
for an answer to appear ♪

♪ While I'm watch, watch,
watching people pass ♪

♪ I'm waving through a window ♪

♪ Can anybody see? ♪

♪ Is anybody waving back at me? ♪

So you just didn't eat last night?

I wasn't hungry.

You're a senior in high school.

You need to be able
to order dinner for yourself.

You can do it all online.

You don't have to talk
to anybody.

Okay, well, that's not, that's
not true, actually, though,

because, um, the credit card's
expired, so you have to meet

the delivery person
at the door, you know?

You have to pay them
with cash at the door.

You have to greet them.

You know, you have
to figure out the right,

the right, um...
The-the proper greeting.

Okay.

This is what you're supposed
to be working on, sweetheart,

with Dr. Sherman.

Have you been doing those
letters he wants you to do?

"Dear Evan Hansen."

I mean, I've definitely...
I-I've been trying to.

Those letters are important,
honey.

You have to keep working.

We can't go back to where
you were last year, right?

Um, you have an appointment
this afternoon.

I'm working till 6:00,

so you're gonna
have to take the bus.

Hey.

I thought you could go around

and ask all the other kids
to sign your cast.

Perfect icebreaker, right?

- What happened to your shirt?
- There was a stain on it.

- Wha... but it's brand-new.
- Yes, I know.

I was... I'm so mad.

♪ We start with stars
in our eyes ♪

♪ We start believing
that we belong ♪

♪ But every sun doesn't rise ♪

♪ And no one tells you
where you went wrong ♪

♪ Step out,
step out of the sun ♪

♪ If you keep getting burned ♪

♪ Step out, step out of the sun
because you've learned ♪

♪ Because you've learned ♪

♪ On the outside
always looking in ♪

♪ Will I ever be more
than I've always been? ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm tap, tap,
tapping on the glass ♪

♪ Waving through a window ♪

♪ Oh, I try to speak,
but nobody can hear ♪

♪ So I wait around
for an answer to appear ♪

♪ While I'm watch, watch,
watching people pass ♪

♪ Waving through a window ♪

♪ Can anybody see? ♪

♪ Is anybody waving? ♪

♪ When you're falling
in a forest ♪

♪ And there's nobody around ♪

♪ Do you ever really crash
or even make a sound? ♪

♪ When you're falling
in a forest ♪

♪ And there's nobody around ♪

♪ Do you ever really crash
or even make a sound? ♪

♪ When you're falling
in a forest ♪

♪ And there's nobody around ♪

♪ Do you ever really crash
or even make a sound? ♪

♪ When you're falling
in a forest ♪

♪ And there's nobody around ♪

♪ Do you ever really crash
or even make a sound? ♪

♪ Did I even make a sound?
Did I even make a sound? ♪

♪ It's like
I never made a sound ♪

♪ Will I ever make a sound? ♪

♪ On the outside
always looking in ♪

♪ Will I ever be more
than I've always been? ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm tap, tap,
tapping on the glass ♪

♪ Waving through a window ♪

♪ Oh, I try to speak,
but nobody can hear ♪

♪ So I wait around
for an answer to appear ♪

♪ While I'm watch, watch,
watching people pass ♪

♪ Waving through a window ♪

♪ Can anybody see? ♪

♪ Is anybody waving
back at me? ♪

♪ Is anybody waving? ♪

♪ Waving, waving ♪

♪ Let's go, bobcats, let's go... ♪

Evan.

What?

It's Zoe Murphy

in that hot band shirt
you love so much.

Can you just...
Can you please stop?

Well, hey,
maybe she's into you, too.

Maybe you should talk to her,
tell her how you feel.

I've tried talking to her.

Really?

Yes. Yeah, I...

I stayed afterwards,
um, last year

after the spring
jazz band concert,

but, um, I didn't go up to her

because I was worried
that my hands were sweaty.

Which they weren't even,
they weren't even that sweaty.

I just... I was worried
that they were sweaty,

and sometimes
worrying that they're sweaty

makes them sweaty,
so I just went to the bathroom

and I put 'em under, like,
the hand dryer thing,

but then they were still sweaty.

They were just, um...
They were just also warm.

I was kidding.

You obviously should not
talk to her.

You are a literal disaster.

Go, bobcats!

Go, bobcats.

So awesome.

So awesome, everyone.

Phenomenal, really.

You know what's not phenomenal?

Deforestation.

So, what happened
to your arm exactly?

Um, I was climbing a tree,
and I fell.

It was stupid.

You fell out of a tree?
What are you, five?

Well, um...

So, actually,
I-I worked this summer

as an apprentice park ranger
at Ellison state park.

It's a funny story,
though, because...

There was, like, this solid
ten minutes after I fell

where I just lay there
on the ground,

um, waiting for someone
to come get me, you know?

I was like, "any second now."
You know?

I just kept... I, like...
I was saying to myself,

"any second now.
Here they come." So...

Did they?

No, nobody came.

That's the, um...
That's what's funny.

That's not funny.

Model U.N...

Well, anyways, um, how was...
Did you, um...

How was camp?

Well, I put on 13 pounds
of pure muscle.

Also, I hooked up
with this Brazilian dude

who is literally a supermodel.

So, yeah, hope that answers
your question.

So let's have mother nature's
back so that she'll have ours.

Yeah! Yeah!

All right, thank you, Alana.
Very inspirational.

All right,
so let's have a great year,

and, uh, go, bobcats!

Hey, um...

Would you want to sign my cast?

Uh, you could,
you could be the first.

Why would I do that?

Well, I just... I thought, um,
because we're friends and...

We're family friends, Evan.

That's an entirely
different thing.

Please respect that.

Connor, I'm loving
this manicure.

- Very school shooter chic.
- You're such an idiot.

That is so not...

♪ Here we go,
bobcats, here we go. ♪

You think that's funny?

What? No. Not-not at all.

Then stop laughing!

Hey.

I'm sorry about my brother.

He's a psycho.

Evan, right?

Evan?

That-that's your,
that's your name?

Y-Yeah, it is. It is. Sorry.

It's Evan. It's Evan. I'm sorry.

Why are you sorry?

'Cause you s-s... you said Evan,
and then I said it, you know?

I just repeated it,
which is, um...

That's just really annoying
when people do that, so...

I'm Zoe.

Sorry.
I should... I think... sorry.

Dear Evan Hansen,

turns out this wasn't
an amazing day after all.

This isn't gonna be an
amazing week or an amazing year

because why would it be?

Oh, I know. Because there's Zoe.

Who I don't even know
and who doesn't know me, but...

Maybe if I did, maybe if
I could just talk to her,

maybe things would be better.

Or...

Maybe nothing would be
different at all.

I wish everything was different.

I wish I was different.

I wish I was part of something.

I wish that anything I said
mattered to anyone.

But it doesn't,
and it never did.

And it never will.

I mean, face it, would anyone
even notice if I just...

Disappeared tomorrow?

Sincerely, your best
and most dearest friend,

me.

Hey.

What happened to your arm?

I was climbing a tree,
and I fell.

You fell out of a tree?

That's the saddest thing
I've ever heard.

I know.

S-Sorry, um, I think I
accidentally printed something.

Yeah, we're all waiting.

Um, no one signed your cast.

No, I-I know.

I'll sign it.

Oh, you don't...
You really don't have to...

Do you have a sharpie?

Oh, um, I don't. Shoot.

Oh, here's one.

Nice.

Wow, that's great.

Now we can both pretend
we have friends.

Uh, "dear Evan Hansen."
Here you go.

Y-Yeah, that's mine.
That's mine.

- I'll... I can take it, sorry.
- "Because there's Zoe..."

Is this about my sister?

What? No, no.
Who's-who's your sister?

- You wanted me to find this?
- What?

You saw I was here,
so you started writing this

- and you started talking to me.
- No.

No, you started talking to me.

So that I would read
some creepy shit

about my sister
and freak out, right?

- Why would I do that?
- So then you can tell everyone

that I'm crazy. Right?

- Right?!
- Gentlemen!

No, I really...

Look, I really need that back,
so can...

Look, can you please
just give it back?

Just-just please don't
show it to anyone.

Connor!

Come on.

Shit, shit.

Hi.

Hi, honey. I'm so sorry.

Erica called in at the
last minute with a stomach bug,

and there's only
one other nurse on tonight,

so I-I volunteered
to take her shift.

I hope you weren't
waiting for me to eat.

- No, I already ate.
- Um, it's just they, uh,

they announced
more budget cuts this morning,

so anything I can do to show

that I'm a team player,
you know?

- How was your day?
- Fine.

It was, it was pretty good.

Yeah? You know, I-I texted
with Meera this morning,

and she said that Jared was

really looking forward
to seeing you and reconnecting.

I thought that was nice.

Yeah, he's so nice.

- How was Dr. Sherman?
- Pretty good.

Any change to your meds?

Um, no.

Oh, god, here he comes.
Um, all right, I-i-i...

All right, love you. Bye.

Okay, I love you...

Too.

A letter to yourself.
I mean, what is that,

like some kind of sex thing?

No. No, it's not a sex thing.

It's... it was an assignment
from my therapist.

Ew. Why-why are you
telling me this?

Well, I didn't know
who else to tell.

You're my only f...
family friend.

Oh, that's sad.

Look, Connor isn't here
again today.

That's-that's
three days in a row.

And h-he hasn't done anything
with it yet, you know,

like put it online or whatever,

because I've-I've been checking.

So, you know, maybe he just...
Maybe he forgot, right?

Right. Right.

Or maybe he didn't,

because he's definitely
gonna put it online.

Dude, Connor Murphy is batshit.

Don't you remember when
he threw a printer at Mrs. G

in the second grade because
he couldn't be line leader?

Like, he was seven.

Just imagine
what he's capable of now.

Evan Hansen, please report

to Mr. Howard's office.

Oh, damn.

Evan.

Connor Murphy's mother and
stepfather are here to see you.

They want to speak in private.

Hi.

Hello.

Why don't you go ahead, honey.

I'm going as fast as I can.

Well, that's not
what I said, is it?

This is...

Connor wanted you to have this.

Yeah, we didn't know
you were friends.

Oh, well, we didn't think

Connor had any friends,
frankly, and...

And then we see this note,
and it seems to suggest

pretty clearly that
you and Connor were, uh...

Or at least for Connor...

"Dear Evan Hansen."
He addressed it to you.

He wrote it to you.

These are the words that
he wanted to share with you.

His last words.

Connor took his own life.

He what?

This is all we found with him.

He had it folded up
in his pocket.

But this is...

I'm sorry, Connor didn't...
He...

He didn't write this.

Connor didn't,
Connor didn't write this.

What-what does that mean?

Well, he's obviously in shock.

- I mean, if Connor didn't write this...
- I'm so sorry.

Can I just...
I should probably go, please.

No, you don't understand.
This is all that we have.

This is the only thing
that we have left.

- Cynthia, listen to me.
- No. No. Don't-don't go.

Okay, then you take it.
Please take it, okay?

No. No, don't go.

Don't. Please stay. Please.

His best
and most dearest friend.

That's-that's Connor.

Connor Murphy.

Holy shit.

They invited me for dinner.

They want to know more stuff
about Connor and me,

about our... friendship.

- A-And you said yes?
- I froze.

Well... what are you
gonna tell them?

I mean, the truth.

I-I don't know, man.

I mean, are you really
gonna tell these people

that the only thing
they have left of their son

is a sex letter
that you wrote to yourself?

Hey.

I'm so sorry.

What the hell was that?

I don't know.

Oh, my god,
they were so sad, his parents.

I mean, his-his mom was just...

I've never seen anyone
so sad before.

I have to tell them.

You're early.

Oh. S-Sorry.

Sit.

I hope you're hungry.

So...

You and Connor.

You probably spent
a lot of time together, I bet.

So, um, not...

Not really, actually.

- Uh, the thing is that I...
- We looked through his phone.

His texts, emails.

We didn't find anything
from you.

Yeah, no, I know.

- I know.
- He set up different accounts,

ones we couldn't find.

He knew you read his emails.

Well, somebody had to be
the bad guy.

Well, if you did have any

emails or conversations
between the two of you,

we'd love to see anything.

- Well...
- Yeah, it's-it's weird.

Th-the only time
I saw you two together was

when he was screaming in
your face at school last week.

He was screaming at you?

Yeah, yeah, um...

Well, that wasn't very nice.

Well, Connor wasn't very nice,
so that actually makes sense.

I think that everybody
at this table can agree

that Connor was, um...

A complicated person.

No, he was a bad person.

- Zoe, please.
- Don't pretend like you don't agree with me.

You refuse to remember
any of the good things.

Because there were
no good things.

What-what were the good things?

I'm not having this conversation

- in front of our guest.
- No, tell us the good things.

What were the good things?

- Family day at sunny Glen?
- Zoe!

This is not the time.

Who knew rehab
could be so much fun?

There were good things.

I'm not the only one.

You remember, right?

Right.

Of course.

Yes, of course
there were good things.

Tell us something.

Please, Evan.

Right, um...

S... uh, Connor and I...

Uh, I d... I don't know, um...

We had a really great...

We had a really great time
together, um...

This one day recently.

That's something good,
um, that I remember.

That day.

Yeah, that awesome day at the...

Um, trees.

- Trees?
- Never mind, never mind.

I'm sorry, I don't, I don't...
I shouldn't have said anything,

and I-I knew it was stupid,
so I'm sorry...

You don't mean the orchard,
do you?

He took you to the apple orchard?

- When?
- Uh, once.

Just-just once. That once.

I thought that place closed
years ago.

Well, the hiking trails are
still open though, aren't they?

We used to go to the orchard
all of the time.

We'd do picnics there.

Do you remember that, Zoe?

Yeah, I do.

And you and Connor would fly
that little toy plane

until you crashed it
into the creek.

That was an emergency landing.

I can't believe
that he took you there.

I bet you had fun.

I bet the two of you... I...

I bet that was fun.

Yeah.

We did. We did.

The whole day.

Uh, it-it was just...

♪ End of may or early June ♪

♪ This picture-perfect
afternoon we share ♪

What was the name of that
ice cream place that we loved?

Gifford's?

A la mode.

That's it. A la mode.

And they had
this homemade hot fudge.

♪ Drive the winding
country road ♪

♪ Grab a scoop at a la mode ♪

♪ And then we're there ♪

And we'd sit in that Meadow
by the pine trees,

and you and your brother would
look for four-leaf clovers.

♪ An open field
that's framed with trees ♪

♪ We pick a spot and... ♪

♪ Shoot the breeze
like buddies do ♪

♪ Uh, quoting songs
by our favorite bands ♪

♪ Telling jokes
no one understands ♪

♪ Except us two ♪

♪ And we talk
and take in the view ♪

♪ All we see is sky
for forever ♪

♪ We let the world
pass by for forever ♪

♪ Feels like we could go on
for forever this way ♪

♪ Two friends on a perfect day ♪

I'd completely forgotten
about that place.

Well, I guess Connor didn't,
did he?

♪ We walk a while
and talk about ♪

♪ The things we'll do
when we get out of school ♪

♪ Um...
Bike the Appalachian trail ♪

♪ Or write a book
or learn to sail ♪

♪ Wouldn't that be cool? ♪

♪ There's nothing
that we can't discuss ♪

♪ Like girls
we wish would notice us ♪

♪ But never do ♪

♪ He looks around
and says to me ♪

♪ "There's nowhere else
I'd rather be" ♪

♪ And I say, "me, too" ♪

♪ And we talk
and take in the view ♪

♪ We just talk
and take in the view ♪

♪ All we see is sky
for forever ♪

♪ We let the world
pass by for forever ♪

♪ Feels like we could go on
for forever this way ♪

♪ This way ♪

♪ All we see is light
for forever ♪

♪ 'Cause the sun
shines bright for forever ♪

♪ Like we'll be all right
for forever this way ♪

♪ Two friends on a perfect day ♪

♪ And there he goes ♪

♪ Racing toward
the tallest tree ♪

♪ From far across
a yellow field ♪

♪ I hear him calling,
"follow me" ♪

♪ There we go ♪

♪ Wondering how the world
might look from up so high ♪

♪ One foot after the other ♪

♪ One branch then to another ♪

♪ I climb higher and higher ♪

♪ I climb till the entire sun ♪

♪ Shines on my face ♪

♪ And I suddenly feel
the branch give way ♪

♪ I'm on the ground ♪

♪ My arm goes numb ♪

♪ I look around ♪

♪ And I see him come to get me ♪

He's come to get me.

♪ And everything's okay ♪

♪ All we see is sky
for forever ♪

♪ We let the world
pass by for forever ♪

♪ Buddy, you and I
for forever this way ♪

♪ This way ♪

♪ All we see is light ♪

♪ 'Cause the sun burns bright ♪

♪ We could be all right
for forever ♪

♪ This way ♪

♪ Two friends ♪

♪ True friends ♪

♪ On a perfect ♪

♪ Day. ♪

Thank you, Evan.

Thank you, thank you,
thank you, thank you.

I mean,
they think you were lovers.

- You realize that, right?
- Oh, my god.

I thought you were gonna
tell them the truth.

I-I-I tried, but then I just...

I got nervous
and I started talking.

And then once I started,
I just...

Couldn't stop.

They didn't want me to stop.

What else did you say to them?

Uh, his mom thinks that
we wrote emails to each other.

Oh, perfect.

Sh-she thinks he had,
like, secret accounts.

Ha, yes. Secret email accounts.

That's what all the cool kids are doing.

Hansen! Kalwani!

Pick it up!

- No, thank you.
- What was that?

I said thank you
for the encouragement!

Fascist.

She wants to see the emails.

And now you want me to make
a bunch of fake emails for you.

- Classic.
- You know how to do that?

- It's simple coding.
- But you failed coding.

If you consider
a d-minus failing.

Just so we're clear,

I charge a minimum
of two grand per email,

and that is a floor,
not a ceiling.

- $2,000?
- 500.

I didn't even ask for your help.

250, bottom line.
Take it or leave it.

I could probably
give you 20 bucks.

Fine, but I'm not gonna act
like I'm happy about it.

♪ Dear Evan Hansen ♪

♪ We've been
way too out of touch ♪

♪ Things have been crazy ♪

♪ And it sucks
that we don't talk that much ♪

♪ But I should tell you that
I think of you each night ♪

♪ I rub my nipples and
start moaning with delight ♪

Why would you write that?

I'm just trying
to make it erotic.

Look, if you can't
take this seriously, then...

Ugh, calm yourself, honey.

I just want to get this
over with.

♪ I gotta tell you ♪

♪ Life without you
has been hard ♪

- "Hard"?
- ♪ has been bad ♪

- "Bad"?
- Has been rough.

- Kinky.
- Please stop.

♪ And I miss
talking about life ♪

♪ And other stuff ♪

- Very specific.
- Shut up.

- ♪ I like my parents ♪
- who says that?

♪ I love my parents ♪

♪ But each day's another fight ♪

♪ If I stop smoking drugs ♪

♪ Then everything
might be all right ♪

"Smoking drugs"?

Just fix it!

- ♪ If I stop smoking crack ♪
- "crack"?

♪ If I stop smoking pot ♪

♪ Then everything
might be all right ♪

♪ I'll take your advice ♪

♪ I'll try to be more nice ♪

♪ I'll turn it around ♪

♪ Wait and see ♪

♪ 'Cause all that it takes
is a little reinvention ♪

♪ It's easy to change
if you give it your attention ♪

♪ All you got to do
is just believe ♪

♪ You can be
who you want to be ♪

♪ Sincerely, me ♪

Are we done?

Well, I mean, I can't
just show them one email.

I want to show that I was,
like, a good friend.

That I was trying
to help him, you know?

Oh, my god.

♪ Dear Connor Murphy ♪

♪ Yes, I also miss our talks ♪

♪ Stop doing drugs ♪

♪ Just try to take deep breaths
and go on walks ♪

- No.
- ♪ I'm sending pictures ♪

♪ Of the most amazing trees ♪

No.

♪ You'll be obsessed with ♪

- ♪ All my forest expertise ♪
- what?

♪ Dude, I'm proud of you ♪

♪ Just keep pushing through ♪

♪ You're turning around,
I can see ♪

♪ Just wait and see ♪

♪ 'Cause all that it takes
is a little reinvention ♪

♪ It's easy to change
if you give it your attention ♪

♪ All you got to do
is just believe ♪

♪ You can be
who you want to be ♪

♪ Sincerely, me ♪

♪ My sister's hot ♪

- What the hell?
- My bad.

♪ Dear Evan Hansen ♪

♪ Thanks for every note
you send ♪

♪ Dear Connor Murphy ♪

♪ I'm just glad
to be your friend ♪

♪ Our friendship goes beyond ♪

♪ Your average kind of bond ♪

♪ But not because they're gay ♪

♪ No, not because... ♪

♪ Well, anyway ♪

♪ You're getting better
every day ♪

♪ I'm getting better every day ♪

- ♪ Keep ♪
- ♪ getting ♪

- ♪ Better ♪
- ♪ every ♪

♪ Day ♪

♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪

♪ 'Cause all that it takes
is a little reinvention ♪

♪ It's easy to change
if you give it your attention ♪

♪ All you got to do
is just believe ♪

♪ You can be
who you want to be ♪

♪ Sincerely ♪

♪ Miss you dearly ♪

♪ Sincerely, me ♪

♪ Sincerely, me ♪

♪ Sincerely, me ♪

♪ Sincerely, me. ♪

I can't remember the last time
that I heard him laugh,

but the two of them,
if you read these...

I think if you could take
ten minutes

and actually read
these emails...

I'm looking at them right now.

Zoe. Look what Evan sent us.

They're emails
from your brother.

I printed them out.

Oh. Take that, trees.

- How was school?
- Terrific.

All of a sudden,
people I've never met

want to be my best friend.

I'm the dead kid's sister,
didn't you know?

I'm sure they mean well.

I'm sure they don't.

She needs time.

No, Larry,
she needs her parents.

Enjoy the game.

Can I come in?

You don't have to stop playing.

How was band?

You know, he-he talks about
you playing guitar,

in one of his emails, at
the spring concert last year.

Really?

Yeah.

Does he, does he talk about

when he disappeared
for two days?

But then he called me and
asked me to come pick him up.

He wanted to come home,

but he wasn't ready
to talk to you yet,

so I took the bus all the way
downtown to get him,

and guess what.

All he really wanted was money.

And I gave it to him
because I was 12.

He was struggling.

How about the time he tried
to punch through my door,

screaming at
the top of his lungs,

saying he was gonna kill me
for no reason?

Is that email in there?

We're all grieving
in our own way.

You might consider reading
these when you're ready.

They might help
more than you think.

♪ Why should I play
this game of pretend? ♪

♪ Remembering through
a secondhand sorrow ♪

♪ Such a great son
and wonderful friend ♪

♪ Oh, don't the tears
just pour ♪

♪ I could curl up
and hide in my room ♪

♪ Here in my bed
still sobbing tomorrow ♪

♪ I could give in
to all of the gloom ♪

♪ But tell me,
tell me what for ♪

♪ Why should I have
a heavy heart? ♪

♪ Why should I start
to break in pieces? ♪

♪ Why should I go
and fall apart for you? ♪

♪ Why should I play
the grieving girl ♪

♪ And lie ♪

♪ Saying that I miss you
and that my world ♪

♪ Has gone dark
without your light? ♪

♪ I will sing no requiem ♪

♪ Tonight ♪

♪ We gave you the world,
you threw it away ♪

♪ Leaving these broken pieces
behind you ♪

♪ Everything wasted,
nothing to say ♪

♪ So I can sing no requiem ♪

♪ I hear your voice
and feel you near ♪

♪ Within these words
I finally find you ♪

♪ And now that I know
that you are still here ♪

♪ I will sing
no requiem tonight ♪

♪ Why should I have
a heavy heart? ♪

♪ Why should I say
I'll keep you with me? ♪

♪ Why should I go
and fall apart for you? ♪

♪ Why ♪

♪ Should I play
the grieving girl ♪

♪ And lie ♪

♪ Saying that I miss you
and that ♪

♪ My world has
gone dark without your light? ♪

♪ I can see your light ♪

♪ I will sing no requiem ♪

♪ Tonight ♪

♪ 'Cause when
the villains fall ♪

♪ The kingdoms never weep ♪

♪ No one lights a candle
to remember ♪

♪ No, no one mourns at all ♪

♪ When they lay them down to sleep ♪

♪ So don't tell me
that I didn't have it right ♪

♪ Don't tell me that
it wasn't black and white ♪

♪ After all you put me through ♪

♪ Don't say it wasn't true ♪

♪ That you were not
the monster ♪

♪ That I knew ♪

♪ 'Cause I ♪

♪ Cannot play
the grieving girl and lie ♪

♪ Saying that I miss you
and that my world ♪

♪ Has gone dark ♪

♪ I will sing no requiem ♪

♪ I will sing no requiem ♪

♪ I will sing no requiem ♪

♪ Tonight ♪

They did a whole thing
about them on NPR yesterday,

these-these essay contests.

And if you win,

it doesn't count against
any financial aid.

You know, so $5,000 here
or $3,000 there.

It adds up, and we're gonna need

all the help we can get
with college.

I mean, unless your stepmother
has some trust fund for you

that I don't know about
with all those fabulous tips

- she made cocktail waitressing.
- Huh.

Right?

I got a...

I got an email
from your school yesterday,

um, about that boy
that-that killed himself.

Connor Murphy?

Yeah.

I didn't really know him, so...

You know, if you ever
want to talk about anything...

You know, I mean, I mean,
I know that lately

it feels like
I'm-I'm always working.

- It's fine.
- But I'm-I'm-I'm here,

and if I... if I'm not here,
I'm just a phone call away

or an email or a text,
you know, whatever.

I know.

It says "Connor" on your cast.

No, no, yeah. Um...

- You said you didn't know him.
- Sorry, I didn't.

It's in memory, so, like...

Y-You know,
kids are, like, um...

They're writing
his name on-on...

Lockers and stuff like that.

That's lovely.
You know, in memory.

Hey.

Tuesday. What are you doing?

When's the last time
we did taco Tuesday?

That'd be great.

Really?

Yeah.

So the memorial's
really just an opportunity

for all of us to come together
as a community

and to remember Connor
and celebrate who he was.

Would you want to speak
or perform?

I didn't really know him.
I'm sorry.

- That's okay.
- Bye.

Want a wristband?

Oh, yes. Yeah. Okay.

Thank you.

You were friends
with him, right?

I saw him sign your cast
in the library,

and you started arguing
about something.

- Were you friends with him?
- We weren't close.

We presented together o-on
Huck Finn in the tenth grade,

but he probably didn't
tell you that.

Um, no, no, I didn't know.

I always really liked him.

It seemed like
he didn't really care

what anyone else thought, and...

I thought
that was pretty remarkable.

Well, I'm putting together
a memorial for him

at school on Friday.

If you wanted to do something...

Sorry, I-i...

I-I probably w-would
rather not, if that's okay.

Yeah, sure.

If you change your mind...

Just text me.

Okay.

Mom.

My mom realized
we were out of ice cream,

so they went to go get more.

Did you park in the driveway?

'Cause if you park on the
street, they'll ticket you.

The people in this neighborhood
are monsters.

Um, no, I didn't,
I didn't, um...

I took the bus.
My mom needed the car for work.

- What about your dad?
- My dad.

Um, he lives in Colorado, so...

He left when I was seven.

That sucks.

Mine died when I was one, so...

I sort of win.

- Sorry.
- Thanks.

It's fine.

I-I don't even really
remember him, to be honest.

Connor did, though, a little.

That's terrible.

Yeah.

And then Larry showed up,
fixed everything.

For a while, at least.

Yeah.

Most people, with Connor,
they just would've been like,

"see ya," but he's the only dad
we ever really knew, so...

Wow, your mom...
I didn't, I didn't realize.

Yeah, well.

She's in total denial now.

So is Larry.

I mean, he didn't even cry
at the funeral.

I'm sorry.

Not as sorry as you're gonna be.

- Oh, is-is that the...
- Mm-hmm.

Gluten-free apple pie? You bet.

It-it looks...

Inedible?

It is.

Just be glad we get to have
real ice cream.

My mom was Buddhist last year,

so we couldn't have
any animal products.

She was b... um, Buddhist
last year but not this year?

Yep.
That's sort of what she does.

She gets into
a lot of different things.

For a while, it was Pilates.

The secret.

Buddhism. Et cetera.

It's cool that she's interested
in so much different stuff.

Yeah, she's not, though.

That's just what happens
when you're rich

and you don't have a job.

You get a little crazy.

Well, my mom always says

it's better to be rich
than poor, so...

Yeah, well, your mom's
probably never been rich, then.

Yeah, you've probably
never been poor.

Oh, my god, I can't believe
I just said that.

I'm so sorry.

Wow. I didn't realize

you were capable of saying
something that wasn't nice.

I'm n... I'm not.
I'm really sorry.

You really don't
have to keep saying that.

Okay.

You want to say it again.

Yeah, very much so, I do.

Why did he write that...

In his note?

"Because there's Zoe.

And I don't even know her, but
if I could just talk to her..."

Honestly, I really don't know.

What does any of that
even mean? I mean...

We weren't close at all.

Not since we were kids.

He never noticed anything
about me.

That's not true.
That's not true.

He-he-he noticed
a lot of things about you.

Like what things?

Right.

No, no, no.

That's, um...

Well...

Okay, w... okay.

Here's something. Um...

Whenever you have, uh,
a solo in-in jazz band,

you just... you close your e...

You probably don't even know
you're doing this,

but you close your eyes,
um, and you get, like...

I don't know,
it's like a half smile,

like you just heard the
funniest thing in the world,

but it's a secret and
you can't tell anyone about it.

But then...

Uh, the way that you smile,
it's sort of like you are...

You're letting us in
on the secret, too.

♪ He said ♪

♪ There's nothing like
your smile ♪

♪ Sort of subtle
and perfect and real ♪

♪ He said you never knew
how wonderful ♪

♪ That smile
could make someone feel ♪

♪ And he knew
whenever you get bored ♪

♪ You scribble stars
on the cuffs of your jeans ♪

♪ And he noticed that you still
fill out the quizzes ♪

♪ That they put
in those teen magazines ♪

I-I do that ironically.

♪ But he kept it all
inside his head ♪

♪ What he saw he left unsaid ♪

♪ And though he wanted to ♪

♪ He couldn't talk to you ♪

♪ He couldn't find a way ♪

♪ But he would always say ♪

♪ If I could tell her ♪

♪ Tell her everything I see ♪

♪ If I could tell her ♪

♪ How she's everything to me ♪

♪ But we're
a million worlds apart ♪

♪ And I don't know
how I would even start ♪

♪ If I could tell her ♪

♪ If I could tell her ♪

Did he say anything else?

About you?

N-Never mind.
I don't even care, all right?

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
He said so many things.

I'm trying to... I'm just...

I'm trying to remember
the best ones, so...

♪ He thought
it looked pretty cool ♪

♪ When you put indigo streaks
in your hair ♪

No fucking way.

♪ And he wondered
how you learned to dance ♪

♪ Like all the rest
of the world isn't there ♪

♪ But he kept it all
inside his head ♪

♪ What he saw he left unsaid ♪

♪ If I could tell her ♪

♪ Tell her everything I see ♪

♪ If I could tell her ♪

♪ How she's everything to me ♪

♪ But we're
a million worlds apart ♪

♪ And I don't know
how I would even start ♪

♪ If I could tell her ♪

♪ If I could tell her ♪

♪ But what do you do when
there's this great divide? ♪

♪ He just seemed so far away ♪

♪ And what do you do when
the distance is too wide? ♪

♪ It's like
I don't know anything ♪

♪ How do you say ♪

♪ I love you? ♪

♪ I love you ♪

♪ I love you ♪

♪ I love you ♪

♪ But we're
a million worlds apart ♪

♪ And I don't know
how I would even start ♪

♪ If I could tell her ♪

♪ If I could. ♪

Hello.

- Oh, sorry.
- Uh...

Oh, you beat us.

Um, Zoe, can you help serve?

- Yeah.
- Larry, get the plates.

Can I do anything?

No, no, no.
You're the guest. You sit down.

We asked if they had
any soy ice cream,

but the guy at the store said
there was just no "whey," so...

When are you gonna
give up that joke?

I think never, actually.

You don't have to
laugh at that. Please don't.

I'm sorry, but there's no way

you'd ever be able
to tell in a million years

that this was gluten-free.

Mom, come on. Look at it.

A million years is, uh...
That's a lot of years.

Do you see
what I have to deal with?

I'm glad you're here.

"The Connor project."

So, it's a student group
dedicated to

mental health awareness,
outreach and education.

Uh, great.
This is... it's great.

You know the Murphys, right?

I was wondering if

you would reach out to them
and get their blessing.

Oh, well, I don't...
I-I don't, I don't, um...

You want to help the Murphys?

And all the other people
who might need it,

like people like Connor.

Or...

People like us.

"People like us"?

Yes, right, because
we have so much in common.

What?

Well, you're, like,
the president

of a m-million different groups
at school,

and you're, like,
part of every single activity.

And you're, you know, and I'm...

Um, I am not.

What do you take?

Okay, I'll go first.

I'm on Lexapro, ten milligrams.

Well, I'm-I'm on Zoloft.

Uh, and Wellbutrin.

And, um...

Ativan as needed.

Depression? Anxiety?

Yeah.

Yeah, me, too.

Some days, it's just like, um...

It's like, um...

Impossible?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

You know, you don't
really act like a...

Depressed sort of person.

I'm just good
at staying anonymous.

Same as you.

There are a lot of people
who feel like us.

People that you wouldn't think.

♪ You ever look
at all the people ♪

♪ Who seem to know
exactly how to be? ♪

♪ You think, "they don't need
piles of prescriptions ♪"

♪ to function naturally" ♪

♪ Well, look again
and you might catch it ♪

♪ Just stay a minute more ♪

♪ There's this little moment
after the sunny smile ♪

♪ As their eyes fall
to the floor ♪

♪ The anonymous ones ♪

♪ Who never let you see
the ache they carry ♪

♪ All of those anonymous ones ♪

♪ Who never name
that quiet pain they Bury ♪

♪ So they keep on
keeping secrets ♪

♪ That they think
they have to hide ♪

♪ But what if
everybody's secret ♪

♪ Is they have
that secret side? ♪

♪ And to know
they're somehow not alone ♪

♪ Well, that's all
they're hoping for ♪

♪ What if they ♪

♪ Didn't have to stay ♪

♪ Anonymous anymore? ♪

♪ Spot the girl
who stays in motion ♪

♪ She spins so fast
so she won't fall ♪

♪ She's built a wall
with her achievements ♪

♪ To keep out the question ♪

♪ Without it, is she worth
anything at all? ♪

♪ So nobody can know ♪

♪ Just what the cracks
might show ♪

♪ How deep and dark they go ♪

♪ There are
those anonymous ones ♪

♪ Stuck inside the
perfect frame they're faking ♪

♪ All of us anonymous ones ♪

♪ Who pick themselves apart
till they start breaking ♪

♪ And we keep on
keeping secrets ♪

♪ That we think
we have to hide ♪

♪ But what we really need
is somebody ♪

♪ To see that secret side ♪

♪ And to know
we're somehow not alone ♪

♪ Is all we're hoping for ♪

♪ And then
we wouldn't have to be ♪

♪ Anonymous anymore ♪

♪ The parts we can't tell,
we carry them well ♪

♪ But that doesn't mean
they're not heavy ♪

♪ The parts we can't tell,
we carry them well ♪

♪ But that doesn't mean
they're not heavy ♪

♪ The anonymous one ♪

♪ Noticed by none ♪

Go, bobcats!

♪ The parts we can't tell,
we carry them well ♪

♪ But that doesn't mean
they're not heavy. ♪

"The Connor project"?

Yeah, so it's a student group

dedicated to
keeping Connor's memory alive.

Um, making sure
people that need help,

they have somewhere they can go.

I didn't realize Connor meant
this much to people.

Well, it's all... I mean,
it was all Alana's idea.

She thought of the whole thing.

That's the young woman

who organized
the memorial tomorrow.

Well, she seems like...

- Quite a force.
- Yeah.

Um, anyways, um...

We just wanted to do something.

It's-it's r-really cool.

There's something
I want to show you.

Sure.

Oh, here we go.

It's a bit of a mess, I know.

We still haven't decided what
to do with, um, everything.

He used to write songs.

Or at least he told us he did.

He refused to play for us,
so who knows?

He never played any for you?

No, he di... he didn't.

He... no. I'm sorry.

Here it is.

It's a...

When Connor entered
seventh grade,

all of my girlfriends said,

"here it comes,
bar mitzvah season.

He's gonna have a different
party every Saturday."

And Larry was so excited
to take him shopping.

He dragged him
to Brooks brothers,

and they picked out a suit,
some shirts and this tie.

He looked... just like his dad.

He never got invited
to a single party.

He was such a sweet boy
underneath it all.

Everything just hurt too much.

I thought that, uh, you could
wear this to the memorial.

For your speech.

Oh, I'm not... i-i...

I wasn't...
I'm-I'm not speaking.

Why not?

Well, I...
I just don't think, um...

I mean, most people
think that I'm...

Not that cool of a person,

so nobody wants to hear from me.

Well, if...

That's what most people think...

It sounds like most people
don't know you very well.

They didn't know Connor either.

They never bothered.

You can tell them
what they missed.

You're so handsome.

I'm so glad
you changed your mind.

Today is a day of remembrance
and reflection.

It sucks he isn't here
to see this.

The first person
we'll hear from this morning

is Evan Hansen.

Uh, good morning, s...

Holy shit.

Sorry.

Sorry.

Good morning,
students and faculty.

I would like to say
a few words to you today...

About my friend...

My best friend, Connor Murphy.

Holy shit.

I would like to tell you
about the day that Connor and I

went hiking behind the old
Autumn smile apple orchard.

We found a huge oak tree.

Connor said that he wondered
what the world would look like

from all the way up there,
so we decided to find out.

We started climbing slowly.

And then,
when I finally looked back,

we were already
30 feet off the ground.

Um, Connor just looked at me...

And smiled
that way he always did.

Um, and then...

Sorry. Then I fell.

I-I lay there
on the ground and...

Good morning,
students and f-f... faculty.

Sorry, that...

Sorry, that's the wrong...

♪ Have you ever felt like
nobody was there? ♪

♪ Have you ever felt forgotten
in the middle of nowhere? ♪

♪ Have you ever felt like
you could disappear? ♪

♪ Like you could fall ♪

♪ And no one would hear ♪

But, see, the thing is, when
I looked up, Connor was there.

That's the gift he gave me.

To show me
th-that I wasn't alone.

Um, nobody is.

That's-that's the gift
that he gave all of us.

I just wish...

I wish we could've
given that to him.

So...

♪ Let that lonely feeling
wash away ♪

♪ Maybe there's a reason
to believe you'll be okay ♪

♪ 'Cause when you don't feel
strong enough to stand ♪

♪ You can reach,
reach out your hand ♪

♪ And, oh,
someone will come running ♪

♪ And I know
they'll take you home ♪

♪ Even when the dark
comes crashing through ♪

♪ When you need a friend
to carry you ♪

♪ And when you're broken
on the ground ♪

♪ You will be found ♪

♪ So let the sun
come streaming in ♪

♪ 'Cause you'll reach up
and you'll rise again ♪

♪ Lift your head
and look around ♪

♪ You will be found ♪

♪ You will be found ♪

♪ You will be found ♪

♪ You will be found ♪

♪ You will be found ♪

Have you seen this?

People started sharing it,

and now, I mean,
it's everywhere.

This morning, it only had,
like, 30 views.

Well, how many does it have now?

723.

2,326 views.

14,359.

I don't understand
what happened.

You did.

♪ There's a place where
we don't have to feel unknown ♪

Oh, my god.

Everybody needs to see this.

♪ And every time
that you call out ♪

♪ You're a little less alone ♪

- I can't stop watching this video.
- 17 years old.

♪ If you only say the word ♪

- Take five minutes.
- It'll make your day.

♪ From across the silence,
your voice is heard ♪

Share it
with the people you love.

- Repost.
- The world needs to hear this.

Beautiful tribute.

I know someone who really
needed to hear this today.

So thank you, Evan Hansen,
for doing what you're doing.

I never met you, Connor,
but coming on here,

reading everyone's posts...

Evan is exactly right.
We are not alone.

We are not alone.

None of us.

None of us are alone.

- Like. - Forward.
- Especially now,

with everything you hear
on the news.

- Like. - Share.
- Repost. - Forward.

Thank you, Evan Hansen,

for giving us a space
to remember Connor.

- Thanks to Evan.
- To be together.

- Thanks for helping my mom.
- Thank you for helping my mom.

Thank you, Evan Hansen.

- ♪ To take you home... ♪
- Vermont. - Tampa.

- Sacramento.
- Michigan.

- ♪ Someone will come... ♪
- Just reach out.

Thank you, Evan.

This is about community
and friendship.

- Thank you, Evan.
- Thank you.

Thank you, Evan Hansen.

♪ Even when the dark
comes crashing through ♪

♪ When you need a friend
to carry you ♪

♪ When you're broken
on the ground ♪

♪ You will be found ♪

♪ So let the sun
come streaming in ♪

♪ 'Cause you'll reach up
and you'll rise again ♪

♪ If you only look around ♪

♪ You will be found,
you will be found ♪

♪ You will be found ♪

♪ You will be found,
you will be found ♪

♪ Out of the shadows,
the morning is breaking ♪

♪ And all is new ♪

♪ All is new ♪

♪ It's filling up the empty ♪

♪ And suddenly I see ♪

♪ That all is new ♪

♪ All is new ♪

♪ You are not alone,
you are not alone ♪

♪ You are not alone ♪

♪ You are not alone,
you are not alone ♪

- ♪ You are not alone ♪
- ♪ you are not alone ♪

♪ You are not alone ♪

♪ You are not ♪

- ♪ You are not alone ♪
- ♪ you are not alone ♪

♪ Even when the dark
comes crashing through ♪

♪ When you need someone
to carry you ♪

♪ When you're broken
on the ground ♪

♪ You will be found ♪

♪ So let the sun
come streaming in ♪

♪ 'Cause you'll reach up
and you'll rise again ♪

♪ If you only look around ♪

♪ You will be found ♪

♪ Even when the dark
comes crashing through ♪

♪ You will be found ♪

♪ When you need someone
to carry you ♪

♪ You will be found ♪

♪ You will be found. ♪

Hey.

What's wrong?

Everything you said
in your speech.

Everything you've done.

You don't know how much...

You've given all of us.

My family.

Me.

No.

No, I...

You've given me my brother back.

Welcome to the first
official meeting

of the Connor project.

Right?

Um, now, as you all know
from Evan's speech,

uh, Connor's favorite place
in the entire world

was the Autumn smile
apple orchard.

I am beyond excited
to announce that,

in addition to our support
groups, we will be launching

a kickstarter campaign to raise
$100,000 to reopen and redesign

Autumn smile as the
Connor Murphy memorial orchard.

Um, so to explain what we're
going to be asking of you,

I'm gonna turn things over

to our director
of global communications.

Thanks, Alana.

So great.

Our new website is now live.

If you have not yet read

the emails
between Evan and Connor...

Oh, you're gonna want
to grab some tissues.

I swear, I've got
a Cal Ripken here somewhere.

Look at that, hmm?

The entire '96 team.

There's three hall of famers
on there.

- Wow.
- You get the right people,

baseball fans,
uh, you could raise

at least a few hundred bucks
for the orchard,

maybe a couple thousand.

Yeah, but...

I mean, you should, you should
probably keep all this stuff.

Oh, uh, it's just gonna
sit here gathering dust.

Uh, stiff as a board, isn't it?

Yeah.

Well, it's never been used.

Connor...

He loved baseball.

When he was little.

First time I met him, uh...

Cynthia wasn't sure how the
kids would react, all right?

She was terrified.

And I was terrified.

I mean...

Five minutes in...

Connor's,
like, pulling my arm, uh...

"Come on, let's go play catch."

He...

I bought that... I don't know...
Two years ago.

I thought, you know,
maybe we could...

So stupid.

He was really lucky
to have a step...

To have a dad like you.

Your dad must feel
pretty lucky to...

Have a son like you.

Yeah, he does.

You know, I-I saw
the strangest thing

- on-on Facebook yesterday.
- Really?

Um, somebody had a video
of you doing a speech.

About that boy, Connor Murphy.

How the two of you
climbed a tree together

at an orchard.

You told me that you didn't
know him, but in the speech,

you said that
he was your best friend.

Right, well...

'Cause that wasn't true.

When I said I didn't know him.

I thought that
you broke your arm at-at work.

Okay, well, who do you think
drove me to urgent care

and-and waited there with me?

You were at work. You remember?

I couldn't even... you didn't,
you didn't answer your phone.

You-you told me
that your boss took you.

Well, so I lied, obviously.

So when were you planning
on telling me any of this?

When would I tell you exactly?
When are you even here?

- I'm here now.
- Okay.

You know, I-I-I talked
to Dr. Sherman, and he told me

- you've been skipping appointments.
- I missed one.

You know those aren't free.

Sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm...

I'm so happy
you had a friend, sweetheart.

I'm sorry he's gone.

I just wish I'd known.

That speech you gave, it...

I don't even know what to say.
I'm...

I'm proud of you.

Thanks.

Hi.

This is a cool surprise.

Can I get you anything or...?

Just water.

- Just water? You're sure?
- Yeah. That's perfect.

Coming up.

Where's your mom?

She works late on Fridays.

Oh. I wanted to meet her.

Yeah, that would've been great.

What's this?

Oh, it's just my mom is obsessed

with these college scholarship
essay contests.

I mean, I'd-I'd-I'd have to win
probably, like, all of them

to actually pay
for college, so...

Your parents,
they-they can't...?

Uh, not really.

I'm sorry.

Is your room upstairs?

Yeah. It's, um...

Yeah.

Yeah, so it's, like, a pretty
standard sort of room, I guess.

So...

Hey. Oh, um...

Actually, I meant
to tell you this before.

Um, so Alana and I
had a really good...

Um, we had a really good
meeting this morning,

and I think that...
Y-You probably noticed,

um, that, uh, you know,
a lot of people were giving,

uh, during that first week,
which is definitely great,

but, um, it sort of slowed down
a bit, obviously.

But Alana and I
are really confident

that it's gonna
pick right back up.

I think it's just a m...
A matter of...

Can I talk to you
about something?

Yes.

The Connor project is...
Awesome.

It's-it's really, really cool.

- Thank you.
- It's just that, my whole life,

everything has been about him.

And maybe the two of us...

Maybe we don't have to talk
about my brother all the time.

Maybe we can...

Talk about other things.

I like you.

And it's not because you were
friends with my brother

or because of
the Connor project.

I like you 'cause...

You.

♪ I don't need you to sell me
on reasons to want you ♪

♪ I don't need you to search
for the proof that I should ♪

♪ You don't
have to convince me ♪

♪ You don't have to be scared
you're not enough ♪

♪ 'Cause what we've got going ♪

♪ Is good ♪

♪ I don't need more reminders
of all that's been broken ♪

♪ I don't need you to fix
what I'd rather forget ♪

♪ Clear the slate
and start over ♪

♪ Try to quiet
the noises in your head ♪

♪ We can't compete
with all that ♪

♪ So what if it's us? ♪

♪ What if it's us and only us ♪

♪ And what came before won't
count anymore or matter? ♪

♪ Can we try that? ♪

♪ What if it's you,
what if it's me ♪

♪ And what if that's all
that we need it to be ♪

♪ And the rest of the world
falls away? ♪

♪ What do you say? ♪

♪ I never thought there'd be ♪

♪ Someone like you
who would want me ♪

Well...

♪ So I give you 10,000 reasons ♪

♪ To not let me go ♪

♪ But if you really see me ♪

♪ If you like me for me
and nothing else ♪

♪ Well, that's all
that I've wanted ♪

♪ For longer than
you could possibly know ♪

♪ So it can be us ♪

♪ It can be us and only us ♪

♪ And what came before
won't count anymore or matter ♪

♪ We can try that ♪

♪ It's not so impossible ♪

♪ Nobody else
but the two of us here ♪

♪ 'Cause you're saying
it's possible ♪

♪ We can just watch
the whole world disappear ♪

♪ Till you're the only one ♪

♪ I still know how to see ♪

♪ It's just you and me ♪

♪ It'll be us ♪

♪ It'll be us and only us ♪

♪ And what came before
won't count anymore ♪

♪ We can try that ♪

♪ You and me ♪

♪ That's all that
we need it to be ♪

♪ And the rest of the world
falls away ♪

♪ And the rest
of the world falls away ♪

♪ The world falls away ♪

♪ The world falls away ♪

♪ The world falls away ♪

♪ The world falls away ♪

♪ The world falls away ♪

♪ The world falls away ♪

♪ The world falls away ♪

All right,
let's just start without him.

♪ The world falls away ♪

♪ And it's only us. ♪

No.

I'm famous for doing that.

I've been told that many times.

Hi, honey.

Come join us.

- I just put dinner in the oven.
- Hi.

She made me swear
to keep it a surprise.

I'm surprised.

Hi.

It's so nice
to finally meet you.

- Oh, hi.
- Hi.

Yeah, uh, great.

It's great.

Come on, Evan. Sit.

I-I thought that you were
working tonight.

Cynthia called
and invited me for dinner,

so, you know, I'm playing hooky.

We were just discussing
how sneaky you and Connor were.

I had no idea that he
and Connor were even friends.

Oh, we were the same.

You know,
boys love their secrets.

Something smells good.
What's for dinner?

Oh, it's chicken Milanese,
your favorite.

Oh, actually his favorite is

my great-grandmother's
black beans.

Really?

Well, he's the only one

that appreciates
my cooking, so...

- That's not true.
- Uh, another drop?

Oh, no, no. I'm-I'm fine.
Thank you.

Oh, um, fascinating story
about the wine.

It's from a vineyard in Napa,

and the entire growing process
from start to finish,

100% sustainable.

Is that right?

Not to mention,
it tastes good, too.

- Mm-hmm. It does.
- Mm.

You know,
I-I didn't realize, uh...

Cynthia and Larry
were telling me

that you spend
so much time here.

Yeah, I... you've been
working a lot, so...

Why did I think
you were at Jared's?

I-I don't know.

Evan was showing me

all of those scholarship
contests that you found.

It's really impressive.

Well, Evan is a great writer.

Well, that does not

surprise me at all.

His English teacher last year
told me that he wrote

one of the best papers
she'd ever read on Sulu.

Is that right?

- It's Sula.
- What?

You said "Sulu." It's Sula.

Yeah, I believe Sulu's

a character on Star Trek.

My mistake.

So, speaking of scholarships...

Oh, right, uh...

Yeah, well, I guess...

Now's as good a time as any.

Cynthia, do you want to...?

Well, um...

Zoe happened to mention that
Evan was having some difficulty

in terms of the
financial burden of college.

And Larry and I
started thinking,

and we've been fortunate enough

to set some money aside
for Connor.

Um, I'm good.

- I'm okay.
- Yeah.

Heidi, with your blessing,
we would like to give Evan

the money that we set aside
for our son

so he can fulfill his dreams.

Thank you so much...

But we're gonna be fine.

I don't have a lot of money,
but I-I do have some.

No, no, no, no, no.
I didn't mean to intimate...

No, no, I understand,
but, um, we do have money,

so I'm sorry you were under
the impression that we didn't.

And whatever money
we don't have,

Evan will either
make up for with a job

or he'll get a scholarship.

I don't want my son
to get the idea that it's okay

to rely on other people
for favors.

- Well, it's not a favor.
- No.

But as his mother,
I need to set that example.

You can't expect things
from strangers.

Oh, we're not strangers.

No, of course not.

But you're not family either.

Mom, just hold on.

No, I think
I better get to work,

see if I can grab a shift
now that I know

how concerned you are
about our finances.

Mom, will you please
come back inside?

Oh, my god. Are you kidding me?

Will you just
come back inside, please?

They think you're their son,
these people.

They're not "these people."

They don't really know you.

Well, they like me.
They like me.

I know that that's very hard
for you to believe,

that they don't think I'm...

You know, that there's
something wrong with me,

that I need to be,
like, fixed, like you do.

- When have I ever said that?
- Oh, my god.

Mom, I-I have to go
to therapy, right?

I have to take drugs.
I have to...

There's-there's nothing
wrong with that.

There-there's nothing wrong
with needing help, honey.

Just stop. I know that there is,

and I know that I'm a burden,

that I'm the worst thing
that ever happened to you,

and I just... well, I just
ruined your life, okay?!

No. You are the best thing.

You're the best thing
that's ever happened to me.

I'm sorry I can't give you
anything more than that.

It's not my fault
if other people can.

I'll see you at home.

Hi.

I'm so sorry.
I meant to be there yesterday.

Okay, well, we have two days
left, and we're $25,000 short.

Yeah, I just... everything...

You're right. I know. I'm sorry.

Things have been
really busy, so...

I've been wondering something.

Were you ever actually
friends with him?

What are you talking about?

Well, the thing about
the emails, it's just that,

like, you and Connor
keep talking about

climbing this tree together
in June.

We were in school in June.

You didn't have a cast
until September.

Well, uh, you know what?

We probably just wrote down
the wrong date or something.

It's not just the emails, Evan.

You've missed, like,
three meetings in a row.

If I were his best friend,

I would be doing
everything I could to make sure

his dream of rebuilding
the orchard came true.

Okay.

Look, it's terrible
that people aren't giving

as much money
as we hoped they would.

It is, but-but it's not like
it's him.

You know what I mean?

It's-it's just...
It's an orchard, Alana.

We have people watching us,

hoping...

Praying that we can
prove Connor wrong.

And if the orchard is
just an empty promise,

all of those people will know
that Connor was right.

That no one cares.

Did you lie to me?

Did I lie to all these people?

Just go to your email.

Another email?

It's not...

It's not another email.

"Dear Evan Hansen..."

If we weren't friends,
then he wouldn't...

He wouldn't have written
his note to me.

Look, only his family
have seen this, okay?

You can't, you can't show it
to anybody else, okay?

Alana.

Okay.

He wasn't right.

You know that, don't you?

♪ The parts we can't tell,
we carry them well ♪

♪ But that doesn't mean
they're not heavy ♪

♪ The parts we can't tell,
we carry them well ♪

♪ But that doesn't mean
they're not heavy ♪

♪ The anonymous one ♪

♪ Noticed by none ♪

♪ The parts we can't tell,
we carry them well ♪

♪ But that doesn't mean
they're not heavy ♪

♪ The parts we can't tell ♪

♪ We carry them well ♪

♪ But that doesn't mean
they're not heavy ♪

♪ The parts we can't tell ♪

♪ We carry them well ♪

♪ But that doesn't mean
they're not heavy ♪

♪ The anonymous ones ♪

♪ Who might just need
this moment to remind them ♪

♪ That there are
more anonymous ones ♪

♪ They're out there if you take
the time to find them ♪

♪ Just to know
we're somehow not alone ♪

♪ Isn't that all we're ever
really looking for? ♪

♪ Maybe we ♪

♪ We don't have to be ♪

♪ Anonymous anymore. ♪

Can you imagine?

Wh-what's wrong?

Yep.

Hi.

Alana, you have to
take it down, okay?

They've been through enough.

I took it down already, Evan,
but it-it doesn't matter

because it's everywhere.

Zoe, it's me.

Please call me back, okay?

I'm worried about you.

They have pictures of us now.

Just put it away.

"His parents act like
they are bereft,

but where were they when
their son was actually alive?"

Please stop reading them.

- Hey. Is Zoe here?
- She went home.

Things really aren't good here.

I know. I just... I had to come.

Where did they even...
How did they get Connor's note?

I don't know.

Like, did they hack
our computers?

They hacked our emails?
Did... these people are adults.

Did you see their pictures?

These people are adults.

Look, maybe let it ring.

I'm sick of hiding. Hello?

Yeah, have-have fun
with your miserable life.

What did they say?
What's the number?

It's blocked.

It doesn't...
No, it doesn't matter.

That's it.
I'm calling the police.

No, look, right now,
maybe the best thing to do

is to just stay calm, all right?

- And sit...
- That's always your solution, isn't it?

Wait and see. Let's just
wait and see, right, Larry?

What are the police going to do?

It's the Internet. Wh...

Are they gonna
arrest the Internet?

I had to beg you,
every step of the way,

for-for therapy, for-for rehab.

What? N-No, no.

You went lurching from
one miracle cure to the next...

Oh, you're... really?

Because all he needed
was another $20,000

weekend yoga retreat.

What was your alternative,

other than picking apart
everything that I did?

How about putting him on

one program and sticking to it?

Remember what he said

the first time that Connor
tried to kill himself?

- That he's just looking for attention.
- For Christ's sake.

He just wants attention!

I'm not gonna sit here
and defend myself!

You couldn't understand him.

You never understood him
because he wasn't yours!

Mom, what the hell?

I raised him from the time
he was three years old.

He was getting better, and you
refused to see it. Ask Evan.

Tell them, Evan.

Evan did everything
that he could.

Evan? Evan was in denial
of what was happening.

Do not bring him into this.

Read the note, Larry.

Read what he said.

"I just wish that everything
was different."

I tried.

- But he was my son!
- He wanted to be better! - Please.

I-I tried everything!

Stop it! Just please stop!

- Please stop fighting!
- He was trying to be better!

He was trying!

And he was failing.

We failed him.

No, you didn't. No, you didn't.

You didn't fail him.

Read the note.

He didn't write it.

I wrote it.

You didn't write
Connor's suicide note.

Um, it was an assignment
from my therapist.

Write a letter to yourself,
um, a pep talk.

"Evan Hansen, dear Evan Hansen,
today's gonna be a good day.

- "Here's why."
- I-I don't, I don't think that...

I was supposed to bring it
to my appointment with me,

but Connor took it, and then
I guess he must have had it

with him, um...

When you found him, so...

What are you saying?

We weren't friends.

No.

No, no, no, no.

♪ I never meant
to make it such a mess ♪

♪ I never thought
that it would go this far ♪

There were emails.
You showed us emails.

♪ So I just stand here sorry ♪

♪ Searching for
something to say ♪

♪ Something to say ♪

Y-Y-You knew about the orchard.

He-he took you to the orchard.

That's where you broke your arm.

I broke my arm in Ellison park,
um, by myself.

But that day at the orchard...

You and Connor at the orchard.

♪ Words fail ♪

♪ Words fail ♪

♪ There's nothing I can say ♪

Oh, god.

But you said that you guys
would talk about me.

He would...

How could you do this?

♪ I guess I thought
I could be part of this ♪

♪ I never had
this kind of thing before ♪

♪ I never had
that perfect girl ♪

♪ Who somehow could see
the good part of me ♪

♪ I never had the dad
who stuck it out ♪

♪ No corny jokes
or baseball gloves ♪

♪ No mom who just was there ♪

♪ 'Cause mom was all
that she had to be ♪

♪ That's not
a worthy explanation ♪

♪ I know there is none ♪

♪ Nothing can make sense
of all these things I've done ♪

♪ Words fail, words fail ♪

♪ There's nothing I can say ♪

♪ Except sometimes you see
everything you wanted ♪

♪ And sometimes ♪

♪ You see
everything you wish you had ♪

♪ And it's right there,
right there, right there ♪

♪ In front of you ♪

♪ And you want to believe
it's true ♪

♪ So you make it true ♪

♪ And you think maybe ♪

♪ Everybody wants it ♪

♪ And needs it ♪

♪ A little bit, too. ♪

Zoe.

I think it's time for you to go.

Go away, Evan.

It isn't fair, okay?

You can't, you can't let people

just blame you and your parents.

They need to know
it was me, okay?

I'm the one people should hate.

Yeah, well,
we're not telling anyone.

Well, that's... I...

You can't... you have to.

It's not my decision.

It's my mom's.

She doesn't want
to ruin your life.

She's afraid
you'll do something stupid.

Like hurt yourself.

She said
they already lost one son.

Can you just...

Leave my family alone, okay?

♪ This was just
a sad invention ♪

♪ It wasn't real, I know ♪

♪ But we were happy ♪

♪ I guess
I couldn't let that go ♪

♪ I guess
I couldn't give that up ♪

♪ I guess I wanted to believe ♪

♪ 'Cause if I just believe ♪

♪ Then I don't have to see ♪

♪ What's really there ♪

♪ No, I'd rather pretend ♪

♪ I'm something better
than these broken parts ♪

♪ Pretend I'm something
other than ♪

♪ This mess that I am ♪

♪ 'Cause then I don't
have to look at it ♪

♪ And no one gets
to look at it ♪

♪ No, no one can really see ♪

♪ 'Cause I've learned
to slam on the brake ♪

♪ Before I even turn the key ♪

♪ Before I make the mistake ♪

♪ Before I lead with
the worst of me ♪

♪ I never let them see ♪

♪ The worst of me ♪

♪ 'Cause what if everyone saw? ♪

♪ What if everyone knew? ♪

♪ Would they like
what they saw? ♪

♪ Or would they hate it, too? ♪

♪ Will I just keep on
running away ♪

♪ From what's true? ♪

♪ All I ever do is run ♪

♪ So how do I step in ♪

♪ Step into the sun? ♪

♪ Step into the sun. ♪

Evan?

Evan?

Evan?

Oh, honey.

"Dear Evan Hansen..."

You wrote this? Connor's note?

I didn't know.

No one did.

No, honey, that's...

That's not what I meant.

I didn't know that you were...

That you were hurting like that.

That you felt...

I didn't know.

I lied.

I lied about so many things.

Not just Connor. Um...

So, last summer, um...

I just...

I just felt so alone. Um...

You can tell me.

The tree.

I didn't fall.

I let go.

- Oh, Evan.
- Do you hate me now?

You should. You should.

If you knew who I am,
just how just broken I am.

I already know you.

And I love you.

I can promise you that...

Someday...

All of this is gonna feel
like a very long time ago.

Your dad, um...

Do you remember when
he drove by to get his things?

It was a few weeks
after he moved out.

Temporarily, we said.

♪ It was a February day ♪

♪ When your dad came by
before going away ♪

♪ A u-haul truck
in the driveway ♪

♪ The day it was suddenly real ♪

♪ I told you
not to come outside ♪

♪ But you saw that truck,
and you smiled so wide ♪

♪ A real live truck
in your driveway ♪

♪ We let you sit
behind the wheel ♪

♪ Goodbye, goodbye ♪

♪ Now it's just me ♪

♪ And my little guy ♪

♪ And the house felt so big ♪

♪ And I felt so small ♪

♪ The house felt so big ♪

♪ And I felt so small ♪

♪ That night,
I tucked you into bed ♪

♪ I will never forget
how you sat up and said ♪

♪ "Is there another truck
coming to our driveway? ♪

♪ A truck that will
take mommy away?" ♪

♪ And the house felt so big ♪

♪ And I felt so small ♪

♪ The house felt so big ♪

♪ And I ♪

♪ And I knew there would be ♪

♪ Moments that I'd miss ♪

♪ And I knew there would be ♪

♪ Space I couldn't fill ♪

♪ And I knew I'd come up short ♪

♪ A million different ways ♪

♪ And I did ♪

♪ And I do ♪

♪ And I will ♪

♪ But like that February day ♪

♪ I will take your hand ♪

♪ Squeeze it tightly and say ♪

♪ "There's not another truck
in the driveway ♪

♪ "Your mom
isn't going anywhere ♪

♪ "Your mom is
staying right here ♪

♪ "Your mom
isn't going anywhere ♪

♪ Your mom is
staying right here" ♪

♪ No matter what ♪

♪ I'll be here ♪

♪ When it all feels so big ♪

♪ Till it all feels so small ♪

♪ When it all feels so big ♪

♪ Till it all feels ♪

♪ So small ♪

♪ Till it all feels so small. ♪

It's gonna get better,
I promise.

I was never friends
with Connor Murphy.

I lied,

repeatedly,

to his family,

to Alana,

to all of you.

I'm not asking
for your forgiveness.

I don't deserve it.

But, um, please...

Connor's family
doesn't deserve your hatred.

I do.

I'm sorry.

♪ Spent so many seasons ♪

♪ Lost inside my mind ♪

♪ Lost inside my mind ♪

♪ Like a message in a bottle ♪

♪ I thought nobody would find ♪

♪ That nobody would find ♪

♪ I've been drifting,
I've been dreaming ♪

♪ I would land upon the shore ♪

♪ To a haven, to a harbor ♪

♪ That felt so far before ♪

♪ Well, today ♪

♪ Today ♪

♪ What felt so far away ♪

♪ Feels a little closer ♪

♪ For today, today ♪

♪ Today ♪

♪ It feels a little closer ♪

♪ How long
these days of darkness ♪

♪ At the bottom of a well ♪

♪ That old, familiar well ♪

♪ Sitting heavy
with these secrets ♪

♪ With nobody to tell ♪

♪ Nobody to tell ♪

- Okay, your turn. Come on.
- ♪ high above ♪

♪ A streak of sunlight ♪

♪ And a wall too tall to climb ♪

♪ All the reaching,
all the wanting ♪

♪ Just to tumble every time ♪

I think we got it.

All right.

♪ But today ♪

♪ Today ♪

♪ What felt so far away ♪

♪ Feels a little closer ♪

♪ For today, today ♪

♪ Today ♪

♪ It feels a little closer ♪

♪ And the days carry on ♪

♪ The clouds come rolling in ♪

♪ And then they're gone ♪

♪ As the days keep coming on ♪

♪ The midnight sky
turns to dawn ♪

♪ Today, today ♪

♪ What felt so far away ♪

♪ Feels a little closer ♪

♪ Today, today ♪

♪ What felt so far away ♪

♪ Feels a little closer ♪

♪ For today, today ♪

♪ Today ♪

♪ It feels a little closer ♪

♪ A little closer ♪

♪ It feels a little closer ♪

♪ A little closer ♪

♪ It feels a little closer. ♪

You must start school
pretty soon.

Two more weeks.

When do you leave for college?

Um, actually I decided
to take a year off, so...

Uh, just try to save some money.

Get a job.

Uh... take some time.

So, I'm taking classes
at the community college.

I'll have credits to transfer
in the fall, so...

That's smart.

Yeah. We'll see.

I always picture
you and Connor here.

Even though...

This is my first time.

It's nice.

Peaceful.

My parents come here
all the time.

We do picnics, like,
every weekend.

Lots of gluten-free sandwiches.

It's helped them a lot,
actually.

Having this.

What I did...

I can't even...

It's the worst thing
anyone can do.

I wish we could have met now.

Today.

For the first time.

Me, too.

I should probably...

Yeah. Yeah, of course.

Of course.

Hey, can I just...

Can I just ask you...

Why did you want to meet here?

I wanted to be sure
that you saw this.

He really loved it here.

Dear Evan Hansen...

Today is gonna be
a good day, and here's why.

Because today,
no matter what else,

today at least you're you.

No hiding, no lying.

And that's...

That's enough.

So no matter how hard it gets,

even if it feels... impossible,

this time you'll know.

Don't let go.

Just hold on and keep going.

Just keep going.

♪ Today, today ♪

♪ Today ♪

♪ It feels a little closer. ♪

♪ Have you ever felt like
nobody was there? ♪

♪ Have you ever felt forgotten
in the middle of nowhere? ♪

♪ Have you ever felt like
you could disappear? ♪

♪ Like you could fall ♪

♪ And no one would hear? ♪

♪ Well, let that lonely feeling
wash away ♪

♪ Maybe there's a reason
to believe you'll be okay ♪

♪ 'Cause when you don't feel
strong enough to stand ♪

♪ You can reach ♪

♪ Reach out your hand ♪

♪ And, oh,
someone will come running ♪

♪ And I know
they'll take you home ♪

♪ Even when the dark
comes crashing through ♪

♪ When you need a friend
to carry you ♪

♪ And when you're broken
on the ground ♪

♪ You will be found ♪

♪ So let the sun
come streaming in ♪

♪ 'Cause you'll reach up
and you'll rise again ♪

♪ Lift your head
and look around ♪

♪ You will be found ♪

♪ You will be found ♪

♪ There's a place where
we don't have to feel unknown ♪

♪ And every time you call out ♪

♪ You're a little less alone ♪

♪ Oh, if you only say the word ♪

♪ Oh, from across the silence ♪

♪ Your voice is heard ♪

♪ Even when the dark
comes crashing through ♪

♪ When you need a friend
to carry you ♪

♪ And when you're broken
on the ground ♪

♪ You will be found ♪

♪ So let the sun
come streaming in ♪

♪ 'Cause you'll reach up
and you'll rise again ♪

♪ Lift your head
and look around ♪

♪ You will be found ♪

♪ You will be found,
you will be found ♪

♪ You will be found ♪

♪ You will be found,
you will be found ♪

♪ Out of the shadows ♪

♪ the morning is breaking ♪

♪ and all is new
and all is new ♪

♪ it's filling up the empty ♪

♪ and suddenly I see ♪

♪ that all is new ♪

♪ all is new ♪

♪ even when the dark
comes crashing through ♪

♪ When you need a friend
to carry you ♪

♪ And when you're broken
on the ground ♪

♪ You will be found ♪

♪ So let the sun
come streaming in ♪

♪ 'Cause you'll reach up
and you'll rise again ♪

♪ Lift your head
and look around ♪

♪ You will be found. ♪

♪ Ever look at all the people ♪

♪ Seem to know
exactly how to be? ♪

♪ How to be,
how to be now, how to be ♪

♪ you think, they don't need
piles of prescriptions ♪

♪ To function naturally ♪

♪ Functioning natural ♪

♪ take a look
and you might just catch it ♪

♪ Stay a minute more ♪

♪ Minute more, minute more now,
minute more ♪

♪ there's a little moment
after the sunny smile ♪

♪ Their eyes fall to the floor ♪

♪ To the floor, to the
floor now, to the floor ♪

♪ the truth starts
peeking through ♪

♪ Peeking through ♪

♪ they're a lot
like me and you ♪

♪ They can fake a smile, too ♪

♪ The anonymous ones ♪

♪ Never let you see
the ache they carry ♪

♪ They carry, they carry,
they carry ♪

♪ all those anonymous ones ♪

♪ Never name the quiet pain
they Bury ♪

♪ They Bury, they Bury,
they Bury ♪

♪ keep on keeping secrets that
they think they have to hide ♪

♪ What if everybody's secret is
they have that secret side? ♪

♪ And to know,
to know we're not alone ♪

♪ Is all we're hoping for ♪

♪ I don't wanna be anonymous ♪

♪ Why you gotta be anonymous? ♪

♪ I don't wanna be anonymous
anymore ♪

♪ Anymore ♪

♪ Spot the girl
who stays in motion ♪

♪ Spins so fast
so she won't fall ♪

♪ World spins so fast,
spins so fast ♪

♪ she's built a wall
of her achievements ♪

♪ Keep out the question ♪

♪ Without it, is she worth
anything at all? ♪

♪ And truth starts
peeking through ♪

♪ They're a lot
like me and you ♪

♪ They can fake a smile, too ♪

♪ The anonymous ones ♪

♪ Never let you see
the ache they carry ♪

♪ They carry, they carry,
they carry ♪

♪ all those anonymous ones ♪

♪ Never name the quiet pain
they Bury ♪

♪ They Bury, they Bury,
they Bury ♪

♪ I don't wanna be anonymous ♪

♪ Why you gotta be anonymous? ♪

♪ I don't wanna be anonymous
anymore ♪

♪ The parts we can't tell,
we carry them well ♪

♪ But that doesn't mean
they're not heavy ♪

♪ The parts we can't tell,
we carry them well ♪

♪ But that doesn't mean
they're not heavy ♪

♪ The parts we can't tell,
we carry them well ♪

♪ But that doesn't mean
they're not heavy ♪

♪ Heavy ♪

♪ The anonymous ones ♪

♪ Never let you see
the ache they carry ♪

♪ They carry, they carry,
they carry ♪

♪ All the anonymous ones ♪

♪ Never name the quiet pain
they Bury ♪

♪ Keep on keeping secrets that
they think they have to hide ♪

♪ What if everybody's secret is
they have that secret side? ♪

♪ And to know,
to know we're not alone ♪

♪ Is all we're hoping for ♪

♪ I don't wanna be anonymous ♪

♪ Why you gotta be anonymous? ♪

♪ I don't wanna be anonymous
anymore. ♪