Days of Thrills and Laughter (1961) - full transcript

(dramatic theatrical music)

"Days of Thrills and Laughter",

proudly presents the first double feature title,

especially designed for the members of our audience

who are tired of reading credits.

If you are one of those,

watch the screen being formed on the left

and rough it with Snub Pollard in that day long past

when motion picture theaters were called nickelodeons.

(gentle music)

For moviegoers who feel no film is complete without them,



the usual credit titles will unfold on the right.

(gentle orchestral music)

(aerosol spray hissing)

(slide whistle blows)
(spring twanging)

(gentle music)

(slide whistle blows)

(zip whistle blows)

(gentle music)

(slide whistle blows)

(light piano music)

Hold it.

Okay, bring up that name.

(slide whistle blows)

That's enough.



(slide whistle blows)

Sorry folks, it's in his contract.

(lively orchestral music)

Hold it.

(slide whistle blows)

What a show off.

Take Youngson down,

(slide whistle blows)

all the way down.

(slide whistle blows)

Let's keep this movie moving.

(dramatic music)

(somber music)

(slide whistle blows)

(somber music)

(applauding loudly)

(applauding loudly)

(applauding loudly)

(somber music)

(audience applauding)

(somber music)

(slide whistle blows)

(thuds loudly)

(slide whistle blows)

(projector clacking)

(slow-paced somber music)

(projector clacking)

(fast-paced bright music)

(dramatic theatrical music)

(gentle music)

The beginning was some 70 years ago

when man learned to imprison time and motion on film.

(gentle music)

With hand-cranked cameras

and the sun for lighting,

movie pioneers concocted the first photo plays

and discovered that the surest way to please an audience

was to make it laugh.

(zip whistle blows)
(loud bang)

The best of the early comedies came from France

where geniuses like Melies and Zecca

explored the camera's endless possibilities.

In this choice example,

Pierre hurries off to claim the job of his dreams,

while Charmaine, his wife,

entertains a few dreams of her own.

(bright upbeat music)

A slight mishap fails to daunt Pierre

in his new profession as bath chairman.

This amazingly well preserved film was made in 1904,

just eight years after motion pictures

were first projected on a screen.

Voila, the awful inevitable moment,

Pierre and bath chair meet Charmaine and boyfriend.

(spring twangs)
(fast-action music)

Poor Pierre is torn between love and duty,

so with true gallic practicality,

he combines love and duty.

(upbeat orchestral music)

(pottery shattering)

(bright orchestral music)

Pursuer and pursued,

careen through quiet cobblestone streets

that had never born a car

on a sunny afternoon in France

in a long vanished moment of time.

(fast-paced upbeat music)

(train engine chugs)

(slide whistle blows)

(bright upbeat music)

(slide whistle blows)

(slide whistle blows)

(bright fast-paced music)

(roof crunching)

(dramatic music)

(water sloshing)

(bright xylophone music)

So ends the bath chairman.

(slaps thudding)

Comedy was undiluted by sophistication

when both the century

and the movies were young in 1904.

(dramatic theatrical music)

(gentle guitar music)

With the coming of Mack Sennett's Keystones,

supremacy in film comedy shifted to America.

Entering the theater is Sennett himself,

the movie maker who new better than any other

how to mass produce laughter for the world.

In this 1913 one reeler,

Sennett is surrounded by a Keystone who's who.

The I-had-it villain on the screen is famed Ford Sterling.

The helpless heroine is beloved Mabel Normand.

On Sennett's right is a newcomer named Fatty Arbuckle,

and here, of course, the Keystone cops.

(claps energetically)

(upbeat piano music)
(claps energetically)

(gun fires)

(claps energetically)

(dramatic music)

(claps loudly)

(dramatic music)

(gun fires)

(gun fires)

(gentle guitar music)

Mack Sennett is best remembered

for two contributions to the very

lively art of the motion picture.

(bugle music blares)

(machine clicking)

(engine chugging)

(thrilling dramatic music)

One, the Keystone Cops,

whose chases were symphonies in misguided motion.

(thrilling dramatic music)

(trolley bell ringing)

(thrilling dramatic music)

(zip whistle blows)

(loud crash)

(thrilling dramatic music)

(zip whistle blows)

Remember that cliff,

you'll be seeing it again.

(suspenseful music)

(slide whistle blows)

(thumps loudly)

(slide whistle blows)

(loud crash)

(suspenseful music)

(loud explosion)

(guns firing)

(dramatic music)

(gentle music)

A second unforgettable contribution,

the Mack Sennett bathing beauties.

Their saucy ranks launched a bathing suit revolution

that snowballing down the years

has led from the Mother Hubbard to the bikini.

(bright upbeat music)

(gentle guitar music)

The Sennett girls kept popping up

in the most unlikely places.

(crowd cheering)

(bright upbeat music)

(water sloshing)

(crowd cheering)

(bright upbeat music)
(water sloshing)

(clapping happily)

(bright upbeat music)

(water sloshes)

(clapping happily)

(bright upbeat music)

Mack Sennett's comedy kingdom,

the girls, the clowns, the old studio,

the master himself, all have passed from the scene.

(bright upbeat music)

(gentle guitar music)

Oh, to be a kid again on a long ago Saturday afternoon,

racing to the local betu to see the little man

who had come up from Keystone

to become the most popular comedian anywhere, anytime.

(dramatic music)
On the screen,

in the cool darkness of the theater, a manhunt unfolds.

The hunters are prison guards,

sleepy-eyed symbols of authority,

broad-beam defenders of law and order.

The hunted is the eternal renegade

forever on the lam, Charlie Chaplin.

(gentle music)

(scraping softly)

(yawns)

("Rock-A-Bye Baby")

(slide whistle blows)

(bell rings)

(bright music)

(gun fires)

The supreme master of pantomime,

Charlie could break your heart

or demolish a policeman with one swift gesture.

This sequence is from "The Adventurer",

written and directed by Chaplin

for the Mutual Company in 1917.

(scraping softly)

(slide whistle blows)

(suspenseful music)

(slide whistle blows)

(bright music)

(body thuds)

(tense music)

(gun fires)
(somber music)

(thumps softly)

(somber music)

(slide whistle blows)

(suspenseful music)

(dramatic music)

(thrilling dramatic music)

(slide whistle blows)

Two days and 12 plot twists later,

Eric the villain realizes that the escaped convict

in the newspaper is none other than

the mysterious stranger in the next room

who is dancing with Edna the heiress,

upon whom Eric has affixed a lecherous eye.

(upbeat music)
(metal clanking)

While Eric puts a pudgy finger on his rival,

the nonchalant Charlie escorts Edna to the terrace.

Edna is Edna Tobias,

Charlie's perennial leading lady

through his most creative years.

(bright music)

(bright music)

(slide whistle blows)

(bright music)

(slide whistle blows)

(uptempo fast-action music)

It's Charlie versus the cops

in a scene so beautifully timed

that it remains as funny today

as when it first flashed on the screen

nearly half a century ago.

(uptempo fast-action music)

(kisses softly)

(slide whistle blows)

(spring twanging)

(slide whistle blows)

(spring twanging)

(punch thuds softly)
(piano key hit sour note)

(horn honks)
(bright music)

(kisses softly)

(slide whistle blows)

(horn honks)

(bright music)

(soft squeaking)

(soft squeaking)
(spring twanging)

(soft squeaking)
(spring twanging)

(door squeaking)

(bones crunching)

(bright music)

His pursuers vanquished for the moment,

the indomitable outcast skitters off

to new lonely adventures.

(kisses softly)

(gentle music)

Charlie was sometimes bested,

but only by inanimate objects like this revolving door.

We're watching "The Cure",

also made in Chaplin's vintage year,

and considered by some critics

as the funniest of his short comedies.

(bright music)

(bones crunching)

Charlie's adversary is once again Eric Campbell

who resembled a towering and pot-bellied Satan.

(bright music)

(bones crunching)

(bones crunching)

(bones crunching)

(slide whistle blows)

(gentle playful music)

(slide whistle blows)

(gentle playful music)

This is a sanitarium,

and Charlie's here to be cured

of the unfortunate habit of picking up glasses that are full

and putting down glasses that are empty.

(gentle music)

(kick thuds)

(glass breaking)

(liquid burbling)

(gentle tuba music)

(bright xylophone music)

(squeals lowly)

(clicks softly)

(kisses softly)

(liquid gurgling)

(horn honks)
(slide whistle blows)

(bell rings)

(thuds softly)

(liquid burbling)

(dramatic music)

(scrapes softly)

(bright music)

(slide whistle blows)
(soft splash)

(slow horn music)

(bright music)

(clicks softly)

(kisses softly)

(gentle music)

(spring clangs)

(gentle music)

(fingers snaps)

(fingers snaps)

(calamitous music)

(bright horn and xylophone music)

(ominous music)

(soft tender music)

(dramatic music)

(gentle music)

(kisses loudly)

(spring clangs)

(dramatic music)

(gentle music)

Discovering he can't get rid of all

of Charlie's forbidden liquor by drinking it himself,

the orderly disposes of the rest by throwing it

into the sanitarium's mineral water well.

(water splashing)

(bright music)

(slide whistle blows)
(taps softly)

(bright music)

(slide whistle blows)
(taps softly)

(bright music)

(slide whistle blows)

(bright music)

(curtains rattling)

(curtains rattling)

(gentle music)

(curtains rattling)

(gentle music)

(loud kisses)

Mineral water 80 proof.

(bright music)

(slide whistle blows)

(bright music)

(slide whistles blowing)

(gentle music)

(slide whistles blowing)

(slide whistles blowing)

(soft crackles and scrapes)

(slide whistle blows)

("La Cucaracha")

(slide whistle blows)
(water sloshes)

There's been a big run on mineral water,

and the sanitarium has taken on a certain conviviality.

(bright band music)

(curtains rattling)

(bright band music)

(match strikes)

(bright band music)

(slide whistle blows)

(horn honking)

(taps softly)

(slide whistle blows)

Charlie, ever gallant, bows and passes on.

(bright dance music)

(fast-paced upbeat music)

(slide whistle blows)

(water sloshing)

(dramatic theatrical music)

From Broadway's sedentary stage

came the greatest man of action

the screen has ever known,

"The Dashing American".

On main streets everywhere

fans flocked to see rising stars.

Among them one who combined

the athletic prowess of a decathlon champion,

the grace of a ballet dancer,

and the gusto, love of life,

and bullyboy exuberance of Teddy Roosevelt.

(gentle music)

Wilson is president.

America has just gone to war,

and we're at the movies watching Douglas Fairbanks.

("Home On The Range")

(slide whistle blows)
In this typical Fairbanks film

called "Wild and Wooly",

Doug is a rich New Yorker

who dreams of the rugged West

he has read about endlessly,

but has never seen.

(somber music)

(bright music)

(horses clopping)

(taps loudly)

(slide whistle blows)

(gun fires)

Downstairs, Doug's dad, a railroad tycoon,

sends for his shoot-em-up son.

There's a reason for Doug's bouncing enthusiasm.

Today is the day he is finally to go West

to the badlands and Indian Country

to Bitter Creek Arizona,

to pass on that town's application

for a new spur line.

(bright music)
(knocks loudly)

In this bygone era, as you can plainly see,

America was not as yet troubled by a servant problem.

(lasso swooshes)

(thumps loudly)

(bright music)

(gun fires)

(stomping loudly)

(gun fires)

(stomps loudly)

(bright music)

(wind-up toy crackles)

(bright music)

Toy rattlesnakes!

(wind-up toys crackling)

(slide whistle blows)

(gun fires)

(slide whistles blowing)

(bright music)

"Judson", says Doug,

"you wouldn't last two weeks

"out there in God's country".

(upbeat music)

(gentle music)

(slide whistle blows)

(slaps loudly)

(bright music)

Unfortunately, Doug has made one small miscalculation.

This is the West he's been reading about,

the wild bygone West of the 1880s,

and this is the sleek civilized West of 1917,

the West in which he's heading

in his movie star cowboy suit.

(train engine chugging)

But the shrewd citizens of Bitter Creek

want their spur line,

so tipped off to Doug's expectations,

they're face lowering their modern metropolis

back into a blood and thunder frontier town.

The eager unknowing easterner,

will be given a reenactment of pioneer days,

so carefully staged he'll never suspect

it's not the real thing.

(bright music)

Late that afternoon,

while the easterner chats unsuspectingly on,

his hosts make certain that no one gets hurt,

by changing his bullets to blanks.

(upbeat fiddle music)

(horses clopping)

(dramatic music)

(gun fires)

(bright music)

(gun fires)

(fast-paced fiddle music)

(gun fires)

Doug's partner for the big shindig is sweet Genevieve,

the mayor's lovely daughter played by Eileen Percy.

(guns firing)

(bright fiddle music)

While the dance whirls on,

the wicked Indian agent arouses

his charges to sack the town,

since the townspeople,

armed only with phony bullets, are helpless.

And in the midst of impending danger,

to no one's surprise,

romance rears its tousled head.

(kisses loudly)

(dramatic tribal music)

(bright fiddle music)

(clapping enthusiastically)

(gun fires)
(glass breaking)

(ominous music)

Something's gone wrong.

No one scheduled real shooting as part of the show.

(gun fires)
(glass shatters)

(bright music)

(gun fires)
(glass shatters)

(bright music)

(gun fires)

(bright music)

Doug dashes forward,

must be told the awful truth,

his bullets are blanks.

Everybody's bullets are blanks.

All they wanted to do was give him

a taste of the Old West.

Now the plan's backfired,

and they're trapped.

(fabric rips softly)

But Doug remembers the real bullets in his trunk upstairs.

No one has ever approached Fairbanks

in his ability to blend melodrama with gymnastics.

(wood thumping)
(dramatic music)

(gun fires)
(glass breaking)

(dramatic music)

(wood cracking)

(bright music)

In seconds Doug is loaded for action.

These were the days of thrills and laughter,

when men were men and movies really moved.

(gun fires)

(dramatic tribal music)

(gun fires)

(body thuds)

(dramatic music)

(door creaking)

(wood cracking)

(gun fires)

(dramatic music)
(scrapes softly)

(gun fires)

(suspenseful music)

(gun fires)

(dramatic music)

(gun fires)

(suspenseful music)

(gun fires)

A look of love from Genevieve,

and Doug is off to round up the rest

of the rampaging redskins.

The Fairbanks image of a brash, likable,

resourceful American,

the man of action who always comes up smiling

was to make a profound impression on all the world.

(upbeat music)

(horses clopping)

(guns firing)

(bright music)

(guns firing)

(guns firing)

(bright music)

(guns firing)

(guns firing)

(guns firing)

(dramatic music)

(guns firing)

(dramatic music)

(dramatic drum roll)

Doug gallops back to a tribute

straight from the heartstrings.

The mayor tells him he's never

seen his equal in the territory,

(crowd cheers)
and he's been there since '76.

Doug however, allows he's been a fool,

but he's learned his lesson,

and he's off, leaving behind Bitter Creek,

its thankful citizens, and Genevieve.

(train engine chugging)

(horse clopping)

(train engine chugging)

(crowd cheering)

(train engine chugging)

(bright music)

(crowd cheers)

(bright music)

But this was an uncomplicated era

when all romances ended happily ever after.

Yet, Doug liked the rugged West,

and Genevieve yearned for the comforts of the east,

so how were the twain to meet?

("Home On The Range")

(horses clopping)

(bright music)

(train engine chugging)

(bell ringing)

(train chugging)

By the '20s, screen comedy had reached its golden age.

With elaborate equipment,

like this revolving stage on the Mack Sennett lot,

a score of fun factories concocted

the complicated, imaginative site gags

that surmounted the language barrier

to bring laughter to the world.

To provide negatives for both

the domestic and foreign markets,

two cameras ground side by side.

Sennett's closest competitor was Hal Roach,

at whose studio, a flick of a switch

could send tons of water cascading down.

This was a day when you could stand outside

any theater anywhere in the land

and hear gales of laughter booming through the doors.

(water splashes)

Directors worked mightily to overwhelm movie audiences

with logic defying pace and sudden surprise.

We're about to see prime examples

of the visual comedy that made the '20s roar.

(dramatic music)

(gentle music)

(upbeat music)

In 1921 "Tol'able David" was the film of the year,

and on supporting programs could be found a Hal Roach

single-reeler called Spot Cash,

starring a brash little fellow

with the most drooping of mustaches, Snub Pollard.

(upbeat music)

(machine gun fires)

(upbeat music)

(grunting and spitting)
(liquid sizzles)

(upbeat music)

(bangs loudly)

Snub is the proprietor of a grocery store

with its own system of aerial service.

(slide whistle blows)

(upbeat music)

(slide whistle blows)

Snub Pollard's stock company

included Marie Mosquini as the heroine,

and Noah Young as the villain.

His director was the creative Charles Parrott,

later to turn comedian himself

and win renown as Charley Chase.

(upbeat music)

(slide whistle blows)

(bangs loudly)

(upbeat music)

(slide whistle blows)
(bangs loudly)

(upbeat music)

Snub fires Noah,

a task about as dangerous

as a zookeeper firing a gorilla.

(upbeat music)

(grunts and spits)
(liquid sizzling)

(upbeat music)

Noah, backed by the dispossessed cracker barrel set,

decides to set up an opposition business.

Of course he has no lease, no money, and no stock,

but to the imaginative inventors of visual comedy,

who usually made up their plots as they went along,

this was a small challenge.

(upbeat music)

(slide whistle blows)

(slide whistle blows)

(slide whistle blows)

(upbeat music)

(gentle music)

(upbeat music)
The first customer.

(upbeat music)

(knife scrapes)

Cut wall competition.

(paper tearing)

(upbeat music)

(paper tearing)

(upbeat music)

(slide whistle blows)

(upbeat music)

(slide whistle blows)

(upbeat music)

(slide whistle blows)

(slide whistle blows)

(slide whistle blows)

(gentle music)

Our scene changes to three days later,

revealing a shifting tide in the grocery business.

(dramatic music)

(grunts and spits)
(liquid sizzling)

(bright music)

All is not yet lost,

Snub still has his bankroll and Marie,

in order of importance.

(slide whistle blows)

(bright music)

Another popular comedian

of the early '20s was Al St. John.

(fast-paced upbeat music)

(crane squeaks)

Ma and Pa beam upon their strapping son,

the product of fresh air, proper diet,

healthful exercise,

(engine sputters)
and hard luck.

(engine chugging)

(spring twanging)

(bright music)

(dramatic music)

(engine chugging)

(bright fiddle music)

(slide whistle blows)

(trolley bell rings)

(slide whistle blows)

(slide whistle blows)

(slide whistle blows)

(suspenseful music)

(bright music)

(slide whistle blows)

(bright music)
(spring twangs)

(spring twangs)

(propeller whirring)

(bright music)

(wind whooshing)

(bright music)

(upbeat music)

(bright music)

Al St. John was a fine acrobat,

a considerable asset in a day before process screens

and high insurance rates,

when scenes like this were thrilling,

because they were real.

That's actually Al out there

dangling above roadway, beach, and bathhouse

so far, far, far below.
(pole squeaks)

For actors who flubbed such a performance,

there were no retakes.

(pole squeaking)

(suspenseful music)

(bright music)

(gentle music)
The dapper diner

in the straw hat is young Oliver Hardy,

near the beginning of his career,

long before he joined with Stan Laurel

to form the funniest of comedy teams.

Years of obscurity in small roles

still lay ahead for Ollie

who was already building his famous

full roundness of physique.

(upbeat music)

(bell chimes)

(upbeat music)

(gentle music)

The Laurel and Hardy team was still a year in the future

when Oliver appeared almost full-blown

in this Hal Roach comedy of 1926,

which with passing time

has become a tender memento

of a great and vanished comedian,

whom moviegoers loved more than they knew.

(bright adventurous music)

(gentle lullaby music)

(water sloshes)

(lullaby music)

(bright lullaby music)

(slide whistle blows)
(water sloshes)

(bright lullaby music)

(sour trumpet note plays)

(man speaks in rapid high-pitched tone)

Many fans will be able to place the face,

but not the personality of this fast-talking

medicine man of 1923.

(man speaks in rapid high-pitched tone)

(gentle music)

Yes, it's Stan Laurel in the days before he developed

the appealing slow-witted character we were to know so well.

(man speaks in rapid high-pitched tone)

(gentle music)

(claps softly)

(whistles softly)
(bright music)

(bright music)

(speaks in rapid high-pitched tone)

(bright music)

Undaunted, Stan moves briskly on,

for ahead lie new worlds to conquer.

His patented elixir will not only cure all ills,

it will also polish the dirtiest car,

and there, at the curb, it is.

Laurel began as Charlie Chaplin's understudy

with an English music hall troupe,

and flashes of Chaplin pathos,

can be found in this persistent salesman.

(upbeat music)

(fabric tearing)

(upbeat music)

(dramatic music)

(fabric tearing)

(upbeat music)

(door thuds)

(upbeat music)

No sale.

(slide whistle blows)

(spring twanging)

(motor chugging)

(suspenseful music)

(thumps loudly)

(whooshing loudly)

In a Chaplin-esque finish,

Stan Laurel shuffles off into the distance

on life's endless street.

(trumpet plays sour note)

(upbeat playful music)

In the unlikely town of Woodenhead,

there worked at the railroad station

an unlikely baggage-master named Crovney Freebs,

played by that classic slapstick comedian Ben Turpin.

His boss is Q.P. Morgan, as addicted to kindness

as he is to counting calories.

(gentle music)

(fabric rips)
(spring clangs)

(upbeat music)

(slide whistle blows)
(spring twanging)

Ben can recall that day long ago

when he had a spring in his step,

but never one where he's got it now.

(gentle music)

(fabric tearing)

(gentle music)

(slide whistle blows)
(spring twanging)

(gentle music)

(bright music)

The tramp with the short hair and long thirst is Cameo.

(gulps loudly)

(upbeat music)

(bright flute and percussion music)

In a day when all other dog actors were heroic,

clean-living canines, bearing names like Dynamite,

Strong-heart, and Rin-Tin-Tin,

Cameo was the only pooch with bleary eyes and a hangover.

Later, into the station waiting room

stalks a sinister figure,

he's Mobre the Hombre,

so tough he dusts itching powder on his trigger finger.

(dramatic music)

Hands up!

(slide whistle blows)

(dramatic music)

(slide whistle blows)

Well, that's one way to advertise.

By a peculiar coincidence,

Mobre always handed out free samples,

just after the farm belt had a bumper crop of cabbages.

(bright music)

Other movie dogs were always racing to the rescue,

but Cameo was short-winded, now you can see why.

(gentle music)

(slide whistle blows)

Still later, it's a championship game of checkers,

between Ben, best of the back room boys,

and Cameo, who learned all he knows from the cat.

In this grudge match, Ben's out for blood

and Cameo's out for dog biscuits.

(bright music)

(chimes loudly)

(claps lightly)

(slurps loudly)

(bright music)

(bell chimes)

Imagine the humiliation of being beaten

by an opponent with a wet nose, a long tail, and spots.

(bugle music blares)

Behind those potatoes, behind the front,

labors the immortal Harry Langdon,

who looked like a baby who'd been

snatched roughly from his diapers

and thrown into a soldier suit.

(water splashing)

(bugle music blares)

(gentle music)

His unit has moved forward,

and mid shot and shell,

appears white-faced pathetic

Harry in No Man's Land,

when he should be in a go-cart.

The most incompetent combatant of World War I.

(gentle music)

(grenade exploding)

(slide whistle blows)

(slide whistle blows)

(dramatic music)

(fuse sizzling)

Harry calls for help,

but when Harry calls, nobody answers.

(dramatic music)

(spring twanging)

(bomb explodes)

(dramatic music)

This Harry Langdon comedy

from Mack Sennett was made in 1924,

that year a great war film called "The Big Parade",

starring John Gilbert,

was thrilling and shocking movie audiences.

Langdon used the same theme to make them laugh.

(dramatic music)

Wouldn't you know, it's the sergeant,

played by Vernon Dent,

who finds the plaintively friendly Harry

more trouble than the enemy.

Vernon has a new post for Private Langdon,

one that should solve his problems forever.

(dramatic patriotic music)

(missile whistling)

This is no time to argue.

(dramatic music)

(missile whistling)

(dramatic music)

(missile whistling)

(dramatic music)

(missile whistling)

(dramatic music)

(missile whistles)
(missile explodes)

(slide whistle blows)

(dramatic music)

(guns firing)

(guns firing)

(missile explodes)

(slide whistle blows)

(guns firing)

(guns firing)

(bright music)

It's the colonel,

and by pulling him out of that barrage,

heroic Harry has saved his life.

(bright patriotic music)

Some time later in a simple French cottage,

a winsome mademoiselle opens the door,

and there stands the dashing Lieutenant Langdon,

for fate takes care of the innocent,

while the wised up must take care of themselves.

(bright music)

(kisses loudly)

Back in the colorful '20s

when everybody was making whoopee, a masquerade party.

Under two of those costumes are rotten apples

whose shifty eyes are on the hotel safe.

(bright music)

The plot thickens as porters deliver

the only piano that roars.

(scratches loudly)

(upbeat music)

(bell chimes)

This is a coming out party,

and look what's coming out.

(upbeat music)

(lion growling)

(upbeat music)

(dramatic music)

(glass breaking)

Martha Sleeper helps her boyfriend,

the house detective, into a costume

for mingling with the guests.

He's Arthur Stone,

who briefly starred in Hal Roach comedies.

Arthur decides his outfit's so realistic,

the place is beginning to smell like a zoo.

(lion roaring)

(upbeat jazz music)

(lion roars)

(upbeat jazzy music)

(lion growls)

(dramatic music)

(upbeat dance music)

(growls lowly)

(upbeat music)

(air swooshes)

(slide whistle blows)

(upbeat music)

(wood clunks)

(upbeat music)

(suspenseful music)

Under cover of the commotion,

the crooks are emptying the safe.

Arthur draws a bead on them,

but the lion draws a bead on Arthur.

(bright music)

The capture, and a beautiful example

of how things were kept moving in slapstick comedy

by compressing time and space.

(slide whistle blows)

(bright music)

(dramatic music)

Poor Arthur never dreamed he was also arresting the lion.

(upbeat music)

(lion roaring)

(upbeat music)

(tires screeching)

(tires screeching)

(tires screeching)

(lion roaring)

(upbeat music)

(lion roars)
(stick thuds)

(upbeat music)

Like the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow,

at the end of the chase,

that the inevitable cliff.

(upbeat music)

(suspenseful music)

(crashes loudly)

(slide whistle blows)

(upbeat music)

The crooks get collared.

The hotel manager gets the loot.

Arthur gets congratulated.

Cupid gets Arthur's girlfriend Martha,

and, oh my goodness, the lion gets Arthur,

but love conquers all.

(dramatic music)

This is one of those revolution-torn republics

where mothers scare their kids

by telling them they'll someday be president.

Wiliest of the bomb dodgers

is El Presidente Snub Pollard.

The year is 1922,

but shows how little times have really changed.

(dramatic music)

(Snub sneezes)

(dramatic music)

(loud explosion)

(dramatic music)

Underground school days for anarchists,

who double as quick change artists.

(slide whistle blows)

(taps loudly)

(metal crashes)

(dramatic music)

(slide whistle blows)

Their beloved leader, Nasty Noah,

gives an inspirational pep talk

on how they better knock off

Presidente Pollard, or else.

(dramatic music)

Left turn,

(bright music)

(fuse sizzling)

(loud explosion)

(bright music)

Gracious, right into Nasty Noah's powder stained grasp.

(slide whistle blows)

(slide whistle blows)

(bouncy drum thuds)

(dramatic music)

(slide whistle blows)

(horn honks)

(drum bangs)

(dramatic music)

(upbeat music)

(metal clanks)

(upbeat music)

(horn honks)

(door creaking)

(thuds softly)

(dramatic music)

(slide whistle blows)

Safe at last.

(fuse sizzling)

(tense music)

(loud explosion)

Somebody's mother.

(somber music)

(upbeat music)

(fuse sizzling)

Somebody's mother all right, Nasty Noah's.

(fuse sizzling)

(explodes loudly)

(slide whistle blows)

That's all there is.

How could there be more?

(upbeat music)

You are looking from a catwalk

of an old Hollywood studio

in the departed days of movies

which appeal to the eye alone.

What thrillers they made in that bygone time

of action instead of talk,

when melodrama wasn't watered down by logic.

On the set shooting stops for a famous visitor.

The tall host is pioneer comedy producer Al Christie.

The unprepossessing little fellow with curly dark hair

has become a legend in our time,

the greatest of magicians, Harry Houdini.

It isn't generally remembered

that the man who could walk through walls

or escape from chains at the bottom of the sea

also produced and starred in his own films.

Here he is in a 1919 chiller

called the "Master Mystery".

The villains seem to have Houdini in their power,

but they haven't reckoned on his uncanny ability

to use his legs, feet, and toes

as lesser mortals use their arms, hands, and fingers.

The unrivaled king of escape artists goes quickly to work.

Notice the elevator shoes.

Like many another a king,

Houdini was sensitive about his height.

(dramatic music)

(loud thumping)

(dramatic music)

Houdini's toes reach into the vanquished villain's pockets,

the keys are removed and spread on the floor.

The correct key is selected.

Carefully developed skills such as this

enabled the 20th century's foremost man of mystery

to perform feats of magic that seemed supernatural.

(dramatic music)

Never did heroine face perils so dire

or villain more leering than in "The Man From Beyond",

a hair-raiser of 1921.

(dramatic music)

Enter Houdini.

(dramatic music)

(thuds softly)

Houdini and his adversary continue their fight

on the sheer rock cliffs of the New Jersey Palisades.

Houdini scorned the use of doubles,

and indeed who could have out-stunted the man

who could free himself from a straitjacket

while suspended by his ankles

from the cornice of a skyscraper.

(dramatic music)

(man yells)
The villain

has been dashed to his doom,

but the heroine is still to be checked in her wild flight.

(dramatic music)

The man from beyond had begun in eerie fashion

with Houdini revived after being frozen

100 years in the arctic ice.

Now for a thundering climax,

it switches to tried and true melodrama,

and the most majestic locale

to be found in any thriller,

Niagara Falls itself,

in a day before continuing erosion

had diminished its grandeur.

(dramatic music)
(water rushing)

(suspenseful music)

(dramatic theatrical music)

(tense music)

Out of the past, by way of the drain pipe,

comes the queen of the serials, Pearl White.

To the movies filled with demure, lacy,

helpless ingenues of surpassing sweetness,

Pearl brought a new personality.

(gun fires)
The brash, jaunty,

fun, and adventure loving girl

who could hold her own with any man.

While other film heroines were sighing with unrequited love,

Pearl was commandeering a car.

(dramatic music)

(gun fires)

(dramatic music)

(tires squeal)

(dramatic music)

(tires squeal)

"In The Lightning Raider" Pearl shows her loot,

a tiny relic with a builtin secret,

which motivated all 15 chapters of this 1919 serial.

(dramatic music)
(gun fires)

(air whooshing)

(dramatic music)

(tires squeal)

(dramatic music)

(tires squeal)

(dramatic music)

(dramatic drum roll)
A turn of the page

and before your eyes is the most famous of serials,

indeed one of the most famous of all motion pictures,

"The Perils of Pauline".

In 1914, millions cheered as hero Crane Wilbur

arrived to attempt the rescue of Pearl White as Pauline,

captured by the Indians

and condemned to death by bounding boulder.

(Indians yelling)
(dramatic music)

Pauline's weekly perils helped mightily

to make movie going a national habit.

Pearl White deserved the affection of her fans.

For no star ever endured more personal hardships.

(dramatic music)

(rock rumbles)

(Indians yelling)

(dramatic music)

Pearl's first serial,

which thrilled so many so long ago,

may seem primitive today,

but since then many a polished production

with casts of thousands

and cost of millions has come, gone, and been forgotten

while the world still remembers "The Perils of Pauline".

(dramatic drum roll)

This wily oriental was vanquished by Pearl

with cheerful regularity in a number of serials.

He's Warner Oland

who later won fame as Fu Manchu and Charlie Chan.

(Warner claps)
A clap of the hands

and Pearl is surrounded by Warner's henchmen,

flotsam and jetsam in human guise.

But lo, a cool smile, a second hand clap

(Pearl claps)
and Warner's henchman

are outflanked by Pearl's henchmen,

an equally unsavory lot.

Our heroine's out to recover

the formula for a death ray, stolen by Oland

as part of his mad scheme to rule the Earth.

Pearl dismisses her ruffians on Warner's promise

that he'll reveal the formula's hiding place

as soon as they're alone.

(dramatic music)

"It's there in that box on the shelf", says the villain,

and nowhere was there anyone, adult or child,

who didn't sense treachery afoot.

(ominous music)

Will Pearl get the formula?

I wish I knew.

(dramatic drum roll)

Nothing can better express the spirit of bygone movie days

than those pulse-quickening serial moments

that were always followed by the fearfully awaited words,

to be continued next week.

Here from many chapter plays,

is a cascade of climaxes,

beginning with a menacing shadow

of a clutching hand nearing Ruth Roland,

second only to Pearl White among serial stars.

(dramatic music)
(gasps deeply)

(suspenseful music)

(body thuds)

(dramatic drum roll)

Two men locked in combat

tumble down the steps of a ruin temple.

The hero is Walter Miller.

The villain is, believe it or not, Boris Karloff,

in a time before his role as the Frankenstein monster,

when the only makeup needed to indicate evil

was to go without a shave.

(lions roaring)

(dramatic music)

(growls lowly)

(growls lowly)

(growls lowly)

(punch and body thuds softly)

(dramatic music)

(growls lowly)

(dramatic music)

(suspenseful music)

(hisses softly)

(dramatic music)

(rocks crashing loudly)

(dramatic drum roll)

A scheming villainess tries to make Ruth Roland

believe that her sweetheart has been untrue.

Serials bothered only briefly

with such problems of the heart.

Some really interesting problems

are about to flare up any second.

(dramatic music)

(fire whooshing and crackling)

(suspenseful music)

(water sloshes)

(dramatic music)

(gurgles lowly)

(water sloshes)

(dramatic music)

(suspenseful music)

(dramatic drum roll)

For young serial fans,

from such things were nightmares made,

a trial by fire.

(dramatic music)

(steam hisses)

(dramatic drum roll)

A motorcycle racing an opening drawbridge.

(dramatic music)

(body thumps)

(dramatic drum roll)

A pagoda at the cannon's mouth.

(loud explosion)

(wood and debris falling)

(dramatic music)

(dramatic drum roll)

Step into empty blackness.

(woman screams)

(dramatic drum roll)

An automobile skidding toward the precipice.

(tires squealing)

(dramatic music)

(dramatic drum roll)

A racing handcar, a lonely trestle, a blind curve.

(dramatic music)

(train whistles blowing)

(dramatic drum roll)

The terrors of the deep.

(dramatic music)

(water burbling)

(dramatic music)

(gentle tuba music)

(dramatic theatrical music)

In Spring Valley, New York, two generations ago

a traveling cameraman photographed

this wild and happy trek to a holiday matinee.

We are to join that trek into the very theater itself,

where thrills and laughter have been combined in a blend

that retains its flavor across the years.

The film is "Play Safe",

it's star Little Monty Banks

who like all undersized clowns

was always being chased by oversized enemies.

Monty runs into the most effective prop

a thrill comedy could have, a monster locomotive.

Meanwhile, beckoned on by the long arm of coincidence,

and the shorter arm of the script writer,

the heroine hides out on the self-same train.

(punches thudding)

The throttle is accidentally kicked wide open

and the locomotive, which pulls the train,

that holds the heroine who's chased by the villains,

begins to pick up speed.

(dramatic music)

(bright music)

(wagon creaking)

(rope thumps)

(dramatic music)

(slide whistle blows)
(spring twangs)

(wagon rattles)

(slide whistle blows)

(upbeat music)

(springs twanging)

(upbeat music)

(dramatic music)

(upbeat music)

(motor whirring)

(tires squealing)

(horse clopping)

(wagon thuds)

(horse clopping)
(bugle blowing)

(drum tone thuds)

(slide whistle blows)

(upbeat music)

(slide whistle blows)
(bell chimes)

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

(thuds softly)

(engine revs)

(suspenseful music)

(train engine chugging)

(tires squealing)

(train chugging)

(suspenseful music)

(train wheels rattling)

(slide whistle blows)

(train engine chugging)

(train whistles blowing)

(dramatic drum roll)

(bright music)

(dramatic music)

(knocks loudly)

(horn honks)

(train engine chugging)

(water splashing)

(dramatic music)

(tense music)

(water sloshing)

(bright music)

Monty explains they're on a runaway train,

gaining momentum as it barrels along full throttle.

Their only chance is to get on top.

(bright music)

(thumps loudly)

(bright music)

(slide whistle blows)

(gentle music)
(chickens clucking)

(Monty spits)

(train engine chugging)

(dramatic music)

(suspenseful music)

(slide whistle blows)

(suspenseful music)

(slide whistle blows)

(suspenseful music)

(steam engine chugging)

Monty has a bright idea,

he'll uncouple the caboose

and release it and them from the rest of the train.

But Monty takes the wrong position,

which leads to the wrong step,

which puts him on the wrong section,

which ends up on the wrong track.

(dramatic music)

(board squeaks and thuds)

(thumps loudly)

(bright music)

(thuds softly)

(body and board thuds)

(dramatic music)

(slide whistle blows)

(suspenseful music)

(slide whistle blows)

(slide whistle blows)

(thumps loudly)

(dramatic music)

(kisses loudly)

(steam engine chugging)

(slide whistle blows)
(train crashes loudly)

(dramatic music)

(train crashes loudly)
(slide whistle blows)

(bright music)

(gentle guitar music)

Here are Three For the Road,

a final look at the lost days of visual comedy,

when the great movie clowns were loved, laughed at,

and understood by all the world,

yet never spoke a word.

(bell chimes)
First, Snub Pollard

selling the illusion of soft-bedded luxury

in the shabbiest of hotels.

(gentle music)

(slide whistle blows)

(dramatic music)

(gentle music)

(spring twanging)

(gentle music)

(slide whistle blows)

(slide whistle blows)

There's mischief afoot on fallen arches.

He's Bad Bertram,

who has the pleasing personality

of a hyena with boils.

(gentle music)

(crashes loudly)

(crashes loudly)

(gentle music)

(statute shatters)

(crashes loudly)

(suspenseful music)

(gentle music)

(coins jangling)

(somber music)

Snub tells Bertram to scram.

He's ruining the architectural sweep of the lobby.

(gentle music)

Four!

(bright music)

(thuds loudly)
(slide whistle blows)

(hammer thumps loudly)

(motor chugging)

Two for the road.

Hal Roach's "The Joy Rider", with Snub Pollard again,

as a would be bridegroom in the only elopement

ever foiled by a faucet.

(gentle music)

(water sloshing)

Marie's father can't bring himself

to part with his only daughter,

not while she owes back rent.

(dramatic music)

(kisses loudly)

(slide whistle blows)

(water sloshing)

(dramatic music)

(water sloshing)

(dramatic music)

(bright music)

Fate's fickle finger flicks Marie into the backseat,

but Snub doesn't know it,

so denied the woman he loves,

he decides to end it all.

(dramatic music)

(train engine chugs)

Snub zooms off so fast,

he jams the gas pedal.

Now nothing can stop that car,

but a demand for the next time payment.

(dramatic music)
(crashes loudly)

(dramatic music)

(poles crashing loudly)

(slide whistle blows)

(slide whistle blows)

(dramatic music)

(crashes loudly)

(dramatic music)

Third and last, Charlie Chase.

Sporting a dapper mustache,

and dressed in an only slightly outlandish version

of the garb of the '20s,

he was the most human of the silent clowns,

and the screen's greatest master of the

comedy of embarrassment and frustration.

(upbeat music)

(water pattering)

(bright music)

(water splashes)

(water sloshes)

(dramatic music)

(bright music)

Charlie carries part of the puddle away with him

in his baggy waterproof golf knickers.

(upbeat music)

(bright music)

(door slams)

(water sloshes)

(upbeat music)

These then were the days of thrills and laughter,

a time so long past that the youngest members

of this departing audience are today in their 50s.

As for the laugh makers and thrill makers,

they too have vanished,

leaving behind no successors,

but only moving shadows.

So the crowds depart, the show is over,

and alas dear friends,

our little show is over too.

(gentle music)