Dau. Nikita Tanya (2019) - full transcript
Let me through
Don't be afraid.
Touch him when he's running
Touch him when he's running
You
Touch him when he's running
Step away
so she can pet him
This one?
- Are you scared of him a little?
- No, I'm just afraid that he...
- Must be his mum
- Has he got bitten?
He's doing something
she doesn't like so she bites him
I want a chocolat bar
Alright
Someone left
and another one came
Lots of people walk here.
Security guards, journalists
- Institute employees
- Why do they walk here?
- It's an institute, people work here
- What about these ones?
- These people work as well
- Then why do they
- Hello
- They walk like they
Just ignore them,
people work here
- Are they guarding the street?
- It depends. Let's turn here
Who's the first one to run...
Lia, let's go look for mum
Yes, with Borya
And we'll see who's at home
Are you running to the canteen?
She's gonna outrun you
What?
- She wants to run to the canteen
- Dad, look
Yes, that's great
Have you eaten yet, sweetheart?
Mum, Mum, hi.
Where've you been?
We saw the piggies, I did some shooting,
and rode on a motorbike
And which was your favourite?
The piggies ran away
from me, and from Borya too
You didn't catch one?
No, I got to hold one little piglet
You have to grab him quickly, like this
Borya, Borya, did you eat?
Have you had dinner?
He hasn't, no
Sorry, honey, but you have to eat
I just had
two glasses of birch juice
Borya won't eat the marrow
You have to eat. And anyway,
where are you going? It's late
- I'm going to go for a ride and then...
- Borya
one lap
and then we eat
That's the deal. That's it
Here. I need to p-p-...
Pee? Hold on.
Evacuation time, evacuation time
- Let's run, go go
- Evacuation. Evacuation
Evacuation
- Evacuation
- If it's a poo... tell me if you want to poo
Deary me. I'm sorry, honey.
I'm sorry
If the cottage cheese isn't
sweet enough, add some sugar
All right, I'll do it now
It's very sweet
We can go out at night
No, we can't.
Night time is for sleeping
Then why did Borya
want to go out?
Borya got confused.
He thought it was already morning
We'll go out in the morning
It's all right, dear
Sweetheart, let's go brush our teeth
Go here instead. Then,
you control more of them places
- THOSE places
- Thanks
Borya's brushed his teeth.
Now it's your turn
- Have one more plum and then we go
- Me?
- You too if you want
- You've brushed your teeth though
Well... Can I just rinse later?
Of course. Have another plum
Liya, do you want it or not?
We're going
No, it's plum, then
brushing her teeth and that's it
Then let's go, Liya
I can't go over there,
I'm too tired
Too tired to brush your teeth?
We'll help you
- Let's go, honey
- Brush my teeth
Right here?
Let's go, honey
I can carry you if you want?
Can Mummy brush my teeth here?
I don't think she can, Liya
And the glass?
Mum will help you.
She'll brush your teeth
Come on, I'll carry you
to Mummy
Liya, the toothbrush is waiting for you
"Where is Liya?"
"Where are those little teeth?"
Let her finish it.
I'll take it here
Honey...
Mummy, I can't.
I'm tired
You're tired? Do you want
to finish your plum, or not?
Liya
I'll eat it
You're misbehaving.
I'm taking away the plum
- I'll finish it
- Be quick. The tooth brush is waiting
- What's this?
- The queen
That's a shame. All right
That was silly of me
That's the last time you get
to take a move back
Fine, thanks
I'm bringing out Old Knighty
No, it's fine
"On the meadow a huge djinn
was making a fire"
"little djinns were
bringing him dry brushwood"
"And more and more new djinns
were coming out of the wood"
"young, old, black, red, hairy, tailed,
with terrible fangs and glowing eyes"
"When the fire flared up
all djinns sat around wailing"
"Oh Master, don't send the tailors to us"
"have pity for our coats"
"Have your coat sewn from something else"
"Deliver us from the tailor
with his scissors"
"There was so much roaring,
screeching, squealing and howling"
"that the poor terrified Weaver
let go of his branch"
"and fell right into the middle
of the djinn gathering"
"The Weaver thought he was doomed,
but luckily the Tailor kept his cool"
"He jumped down from the tree,
started clicking his scissors"
"And shouted with all his might"
"Grab them, hold them,
bring them here"
"With an awful yowl, the djinns scattered,
and disappeared into the dark"
"The tailor and weaver waited till morning,
then hurried back home"
"You see?" said the tailor, "You wanted
more than you needed"
"And your greed very
nearly killed you"
Nikita, what's bothering you?
I feel that something
very important is happening to me
and I don't
know how you'll react
But I want you to be
a part of this process, you know?
I also want to be a
part of this process
Especially because
working in the Institute has
helped me to understand
or understand something
about myself, that
My ideas...
The ones I've had since I was young,
about how everything is organised
and how it should be organised
are actually all
unrealistic
As it's happened...
it's happening here
I think it's very important
and I'd like you to...
to feel it with me
What's unrealistic?
For example...
You know, I've always wanted to
control everything in all matters
in simply everything
As it turns out, I live
in an imaginary world
inhabited not by people,
but by my ideas
Well
In a way, it's always like that
- We all live in our own worlds
- I think happy people are...
- Can escape
- Can get through this and
talk with real living
people, and not with
ghosts
In any case, you'll always
perceive others your own prism
It's just a question of
hearing others
Yes
That's...
That's what I'm working on
But what can I do about it?
Well...
You know, I think you're
doing everything right
You trust me and...
It's not that you're
ruling me with an iron rod
It's me, who is like
holding the rod
above myself
But if you say it to me then
it will be a lot easier
Well
Just don't...
I'm running off my feet too
And I'm just not ready to listen
to you in certain situations
because I spend the
day running around
then rush home to look
after the children
and when I've put the
children to bed I just collapse
I'm not ready to listen
to anything by that point
not even my own children
But... that will pass, you know
At a certain point the
children will grow up
Yes, we just have to get through it
At a certain point
there'll be... I don't know...
You'll no longer have so
much on your plate at work
I don't know, something
will happen and then
it will turn out that
I'm a different person
Yes, and that I don't know you
And that you're a
different person too
because, you know,
I'm rushed off my feet too
And on my way I'm trying to
to do the parenting
to save the world, to...
to write formulae, and to look
at beautiful girls too, you know
I think
that on my part, in
our relationship there's been
for, I don't know, about
the last five years
the situation has been that
I have kind of closed
myself up from you
and
But at the same time I closed
myself off from myself too
That is, I...
I tried to shove myself into
a little box, into some limits
into some kind of bunker
where I just keep turning
the same handle round and round
I just do everything that
needs to be done
I'm completely...
just... like...
cutting myself with scissors
from all sides and
Instead of taking off
I try to find axes with which I hack
off a couple more of my feathers
Then I suffer and wonder
why I'm in such pain
What is it, Nikita?
For example, I understood
that I can fall in love
Have you fallen in love?
I have
But... It's not... It's...
It's not what it was before
What is it then?
It's that... I love you
I... I...
I love our children
But at the same time
I can have some
feelings for other people
How do you see it?
How do I see it? I don't
see it, I feel it, feel it
No. How do you see this situation?
No. Well, it's only
a theoretical situation
It... it's not... the thing...
How can I put it?
There isn't a specific
Nothing's going on, it's just...
No, Nikita, we're all
human
- I can fall in love too
- You can fall in love too
It's just... what do we do next?
I'm not trying to say that
I need to have sex on
the side, or something like that
That's not what I'm talking about
What I want to say is that
I want to feel that I'm a free...
a responsible and free person
- How does that work?
- I don't know
Any second now
we'll hear the "Mu-u-um"
You know, someone's already
running around up there
We're not going to get
any sleep now
Let's call up the nanny
Though we still won't
get any sleep
I...
What?
Tell me
- It doesn't matter
- Tell me, tell me
It's just, you
know I... I won't...
I won't be able to be new and
different for my whole life
You don't need to be, I love
you just as you
The way you were when
I fell in love with you
You don't change for me
That's not true, Nikita,
it's just an illusion, can't you see?
It's just that once
again you're afraid
of seeing things the
way they really are
No, that's not what it's about
It is about that too, it is...
I don't know...
I'm too tired to think
Shall I help you?
What?
Stop. You'll tear it again
It's like with Borya, I
ask him not to lie
because otherwise I'll never
believe him in the future
It's one and the same, how
can you trust someone
who tells lies?
But you mustn't say that
There are very few
people who don't lie
- I don't lie
- Well, I do
And because I myself don't lie
I always believe other people
Why doesn't it ever occur to me
that people can lie?
I've told you hundreds of times
that I believe
what people say to me
I was just afraid to tell you
Also, it would be nice to know
that this isn't the last time
you'll tell me things
and that I'm not going
to be taken by surprise
whenever I go somewhere
And then you're surprised
that I'm not cheerful
Have you got a handkerchief, Nikita?
I'll have a look
Nikita, you know, I
know that you're like that
And there's no need to...
I guess if it's not there...
...you don't get passionate about anything
I just knew it all already
Tanya, you mean, you'd rather
admit that I'm like
that in theory
but not know the details?
Borya's awake
I think the thing is that
I've just grown up a bit
And managed to put it into words
I'm up already, I've
been lying there for hours
- I can't keep my eyes shut
- What's the matter?
I don't know, I just...
I can't do it
I already slept for a bit
But I'm all awake now
You can go and play
quietly if you like
Why have you got dressed,
Borya? It's still very early
Go and lie down a bit
longer and you'll drop off
It was the same yesterday
Can I go downstairs?
Yes, go down, just
don't wake Lia up
Are you expecting
me to say to you
"Go on then, introduce me to her"
- Are you?
- No, Tanya, I'm not
If I say to you "Go on,
introduce me to her, Nikita"
If you say that, then...
You'll organize a little party
Right?
Yeah, that might not
be such a bad idea
It could even be fun
What if I were to tell you that?
That you'd fallen in love?
What would you be like?
I don't know, I can't
say before it happens
- Well, should I tell you?
- Go on then
- That I've fallen in love?
- Yes. Definitely
I can't tell you before
it happens either
No, I'm only asking you
to tell me what you feel
when you feel something
- Now, I feel bad
- I understand
- I want to feel sorry for you
- Don't feel sorry for me
Well, not "sorry" but
give you a cuddle
Well that's how you
should act in life then
as if I'm...
a pet dog or something
who you have to feel
sorry for and stroke
Don't mistake love and
pity for one another
If you could go back and do it again,
what would you have done?
Or what would you want to do?
Tanya, due to the fact
that I went through all that
I understood something
about myself after that
If I'd started from
the point I was at back then
- Yes, now
- then I wouldn't be in that situation
Where would you be?
What would have happened?
I wouldn't have paid any
attention to those girls
- Why?
- Because they were completely irrelevant
Whom would you have
paid attention to?
It's nothing to do with falling in love.
You see?
Yes, I understand, you fell in love
You had a sense of duty, you
were overwhelmed by emotions
- All in one go
- And out of the blue a stranger
turned up in the heat
of the moment
If everything had been how you'd
wanted, how would it have been?
Your emotions would have
overwhelmed you whatever
you don't control whether you fall
in love or not, what can you do?
You know, the only thing that makes
your whole life experience valuable
is that it lets you do things in
the future, not in the past
Or perhaps it's not at all valuable
History teaches that
it teaches us nothing
You simply found out that you are
able to do something like that
No, just that
I can't control myself
Did that surprise you?
Yes
Because
I found out that I
can't control myself
in situations in which I
understand, or so I thought
all the boundaries and limitations
and all the circumstances
It even
turned out that I can't even
control myself in a situation like that
What help have limitations and
boundaries ever been to anyone?
Boundaries and limitations
are put in place to provoke people
Not to stop them
No one ever anywhere
has ever been
helped in any way
by boundaries and limitations
They helped me
- How?
- They helped me realise
that I can't be stopped by
any boundaries or limitations
I shouldn't have said anything
What does "should" or
"shouldn't" even mean?
You're just saying what you feel
I'm asking you to
say what you feel
Don't pick what you
should and shouldn't say
It's me who gives the wrong
answers to all the questions
You know where I get my
sense of should and shouldn't from?
I've already told you that
I'm an absolute egoist
I know what I should
and shouldn't do
Very well... then that's your choice
I accept it
What else could you do?
Where could I go to
get away from you?
Go on, downstairs
Dad... Dad
Take this
Go on, go downstairs
Please
Have you been up for long?
- Borya?
- Yep
For an hour
- Did you hear what we were talking about?
- What?
Did you hear our conversation?
Yep
Do you have
any thoughts about it?
- What do you mean?
- Doesn't matter
Borya, I'm hungry. Do you
want to come to the office with me?
- Have you finished your chicken?
- I've already had some
- Shall I finish it for you?
- Nah
- Are you going to finish it or not?
- Nah
- You're not going to finish it?
- Nope
I'll finish it off then
A quick game
- A quick game, go on then
- Look... No, no, look
Your horses got there quick
Like Red Army men
Ah, no, it's not check...
It's not checkmate
Not yet? That's good
Yeah, they did get there quick
Why is it always you?
I also want to play
You've been playing with it
on the way here
No, not all the time
Borya, please sit down on the bench
- Lia, let's go sit on the bench
- No, no
You see, there is a car coming.
You can't jump the rope here
- With Borya? Sit down
- No, with Borya
- Shall we keep on walking?
- It's up to you
I'll go
I will go further
without you
- Will you go further with me?
- If you like
All right.
Do you want your jumping rope?
- As you like
- Alright then
You will have to catch the ball
with the jumping rope
- Alright then
- Run and catch it and give it back to me
- Try not to hit the car
- I'll also try to catch it
- Why is mum not coming back?
- I don't know, she's busy with her things
Lia, let's go
Let's go
Borya, you're waiting for Mama, right?
I'd rather you waited with us
Come
It's really good
Just don't put them
on the chessboard
- Why not?
- Because I'm still playing with it
It's "chessBOARD", not "CHESSboard"
- CHESSboard?
- CHESSboard
- You're embarrassing me
- This paper will be my board
Lia, dear, where shall I put your plate?
EMployee of the month,
or employEE of the month?
Right
- Where do I put your plate? Next to Daddy?
- Can I put it on the paper?
I would be so happy
if you sat next to me
I want it on the paper
What do you want on paper, honey?
To play chess without Borya
I'm giving you a napkin,
on which you're going to eat
And I'm giving you... a newspaper
No, a whole magazine
for you to play on
I can't put you there, next to
such a big cake. Your mother needs that
Are you sure
you don't want some chicken first?
Yes, absolutely
I thought I'd brought more forks.
Here
Your chess pieces can go here.
Did I not bring the forks?
- Where did I put them?
- How should I serve the chicken?
- One plate would be fine
- Sure
- One, two, three, four...
- You found them?
Thank you so much
Would you like some juice
or water?
What kind of juice is there?
- Apple
- I don't want it
- You'll have water, Lia?
- I want apple juice
Borya, take your glass, please,
and one for Daddy
Thanks
- and one for Mummy
- Thanks
That should do
I'm playing against myself,
Lia, so could you...
These red ones
And the white ones,
you can give them all to me
Here
Thank you
Just don't make me
another sandwich
Liya, dear
Since you're the youngest,
you get first pick
- We'll quickly eat up the rest
- The one with the skin
- Do you want the skin?
- Just the skin
- Let me...
- No, just the skin
Honey, you can't eat just the skin
It won't fill you up
Here's some more skin
with a little bone
Can you manage it?
Liya, sweetie, I've given you a fork
- Mate
- Well done
Congratulations
With the king again?
- No
- With the queen?
Thank you, Anya dear
I couldn't have taken in anyway
because there was a rook
How much chicken
do you want, darling?
I'll say when
I think... now just
a little piece, please
- This one?
- Yes, that's it
And that one as well
Nikita
I'll have cottage cheese
Daddy, will you fire
the cannon with us?
- Tanya, take some
- No... bread and cheese will do me
Thanks
- Thank you
- Till next time
Bye
Well, did you find a strong move?
A strong move? Well...
At any rate,
I'll take a pawn
- No, that's not the strongest move
- I know
Then make a strong move
- What?
- Then make a strong move
I don't know what would be a strong move
How do I recognise it?
Consider your possibilities
Right. First possibility,
the rook takes me
Second,
the queen takes me
Third,
the knight takes me
Fourth,
the knight...
This is... hopeless
Why is it hopeless?
Whom does the knight threaten
if he takes that pawn?
Well, the king
So what if he does?
I'll be in check
So what?
That's not where your strength lies
You're threatening rook,
king and queen at the same time
I can't protect all of them
It's called a "fork".
It's a very strong move
I either lose the game
or lose the queen
There lived two fellows
You're doing ever so well, sweetheart
Where did we stop?
Right there
This is where I started
Yes, but you reached the full stop
Two fel-lows. Full stop
There lived two fellows
Full stop
- O
- Good girl
On.. on...
On... on...
Ong.
What's that last letter?
O. N... On
One...
Ones... One...
One
it says... Si... Sa...
Sa. Sa-n... San
- Borya beat me, you know
- He told me. Did you let him win?
I can't believe it
Of course, I overlooked a lot of things
- But no, I never gave in deliberately
- I forgot the plate
I never held back
I'm so glad
He was so happy
- Can you move this?
- It's great Borya's so into chess
- And many other things as well
- Your napkin...
He's grown up so suddenly.
He said "Mummy dearest"
- "Mummy dearest"?
- Yes
He said to me,
"darling father, you're not going anywhere"
Something like that
No, that's not how he said it
Liya's something else
She wouldn't leave the pigsty
But she couldn't grab
one of the little pigs either
- Maybe she was scared?
- No, even I couldn't catch one
No, they're just too agile.
But she wouldn't leave
They must be charming
in some way
whatever is might be
I'm getting tongue-tied,
that's how knackered I am
The thing is...
It's always like that with us
We get so tired we can't even talk
And this fatigue
happens on such levels that
it makes it impossible to talk
about the things you want, because...
You come home from work
the kids are all over you,
you put them to bed
There you go
I want to tell you that
I've fallen in love with a woman
who doesn't reciprocate
It's hurting me and
I want to share this with you
First off, it's ridiculous that I want
to share it with you, but I do
And secondly...
She doesn't feel the same?
No
What if she did feel the same?
Or say, in five years
I meet someone who does?
Or tomorrow
I'd like to know...
I don't want it to
keep secrets from you
I don't think you know me, really
because
I don't think you know
what I'm capable of
Such as?
Well, for example...
to get drunk
and hit on a girl
I don't care for
then reach the point
where you need to fuck
realise that I don't
have any feelings for her
and to just leave
And leave her
with her feelings hurt
Just to get out of bed saying
"I don't love you"
"I love some other girl"
This has happened to me
And what do you want from me?
I want you to know
that I'm capable of that
and some
And what is it that you want?
I want to have an opportunity...
I don't know
say
to rent the house next door and
have the girl I like move in there
and go live there
three days a week
Nikita, I won't live like that
I simply won't
So that is the line you won't cross?
I'm not saying that
not talking about uncrossable lines
I just don't want it
- I don't want it
- And at that moment your love will end?
It's not a question of my love.
It's a question of my choice
It's a question of what I want for myself.
It's not about you, me or the kids
I mean, it IS about me
And I don't want it.
It won't work for me
- What would work for you?
- In that scenario you just leave
If you love somebody that much -
you go
I don't want you going back and forth
I don't want to because
I couldn't live like that
I don't think I could live like that
What if I rent a house
and move the man I love in there?
We rent two houses next door.
One for you and one for me
I...
I don't know how to play
the victim, Nikita
Could it be accepting me,
rather than playing a victim?
Yes, if you did the same for me
- So I rent another house?
- But hold on
If that's what you wish,
of course
Because in this particular scenario,
I'll need to prove to myself
that I, too, can turn elsewhere emotionally
Why does it have to be such a battle?
Because it hurts me,
because I have feelings for you
And for you to just go away
somewhere, to me it's...
It's hard for me
It's hard that you come temporarily
If you need to go, go,
I won't hold you
You need to, you go, that's all
But for you to live
next door, no thanks
If you need to go, then go
But I love you
And I don't want to go
And I can't live in two houses, Nikita
So I have to bring a girl
to our house?
You can. Then I will go
So what do we do?
So if I went to work
- and went to my lover without telling you
- No
it would be a less painful option?
No, Nikita, we have tried it
and it didn't work
It's straightforward
You are not capable
of living for two women
You can fall for someone but that's...
You know, the excitement lasts while...
while it's still an infatuation
As soon it becomes an issue
of changing your family
you will have to resolve it anyway
I don't really believe that
you can love two people
You can be infatuated with one
and love another
The option of being infatuated with me
is in the past, you see?
I don't know, Nikita. I mean...
I think this situation is possible
I just can't tell you in advance
that yes, this is how it will be
Do you see?
Do you want to know why?
I'll tell you. Because...
Right now, and for the last
couple of years or just under...
I've had an absolute priority in my life,
which is my two children
Ten years from now, they'll become
independent from you. Maybe fifteen...
No, even in a few years I'll have
a far greater degree of freedom
But given that at this stage,
you and I have different priorities
- Our situation is not equal
- No
That's why
I can't tell you in advance
with my acute sense of equality
and brotherhood
how long... my patience will last
You see, I won't...
I won't get in your way
I won't help you
I'd very much like us
to be able to talk about it
But I can't promise you
what my feelings will be
At least while I love you
I do need to have
that wave
of having a new woman
in my life
No, Nikita, dear.
You need it
When your life
isn't exhausting otherwise
While it's overwhelming you...
Like when Borya was little,
all those sleepless nights
Like me not having a job,
waiting for you at home
If I quit my job now,
stay at home, take full care of you
not be as the exhausted mum I am,
you wouldn't need that wave
for some time at least.
And if at the same time we move
if our house starts falling apart
or if mum or dad gets sick
you won't need it
You just have a certain pot
that needs to be filled to the top
and if it's not full
you'll fill it with something
Of course it's best
to fill it with something pleasant
Tanya, everyday chaos
is not enough for me
neither is caring for sick parents
or with career or what-have-you
Nikita, in that sense maybe
I'm just not quite right for you
If it were another woman,
maybe she could fill you
I don't think so. I think you are
the only one who's right for me
Because you're the only one
who tries to understand me
You say you're selfish
but you're not
You're always looking outwards,
as I see it
- And not inwards
- I do that for myself
For myself
I live with you
so I try to understand you
But the fact that you live with me
and not some Vasya, Petya or Maxim
is that pure coincidence?
That I don't know
- But none of it matters anyway
- What do you mean?
You're hugely exaggerating
Don't you think I'm showing
a side you weren't aware of?
No, I don't
No, I don't.
That you can get drunk?
I already knew.
That you...
you need to fall in love? I already knew.
What's the big deal?
Well, you know
I know that I'm capable of
crazy things in a drunken state
You're trying to buy
an indulgence from me
I'm not. I'm trying to figure out
the limits of your love
I can say anything you want right now
- But I don't know how I'll feel then
- Just imagine
But Nikita
If you're drunk...
I've told you a hundred times not to speed
where we live
Because there are little kids around
I think you're a crazy driver.
But what am I supposed to do?
- I don't drive like I'm crazy anymore
- Yes, you do
I had a conversation about it
with the neighbour
- It's just that the car is loud
- That's not the problem
That you are... kind and gentle
and a basically honest man?
I already knew that
And that's why your lies
are killing me
Your lies are indirect, they're all
by omission. You lie to yourself
when it suits you
And one time it really devastated me
and offended me for life
When?
In the situation with Liya
When I said that you made me come back
because you got pregnant?
Yes
That was low of me
It wasn't about being low.
You were dishonest, you were lying
But I don't want to
discuss it now
- Why? Let's talk about
- I told you, I don't want to
That's it, end of discussion
I think that's one of those cases
when it's clearly unfair
It's unfair to me, because
I've never been dishonest with you
And never tried to trick you
And that time wasn't a trick either.
I was totally honest with you
I told you everything beforehand
which day it was
and what would happen
It's not like I was forcing
aphrodisiacs down your throat
So you don't get to tell me
that I was dishonest with you.
You were the dishonest one
You were dishonest and unmanly
for not taking responsibility
For not saying to yourself
"yes, that's how it was"
You know why? Because you...
Because in another woman's eyes
you didn't look as honest and responsible
a man as you wanted to be
You know, Nikita
even emotionally
I've put a lot of effort into
being able to survive certain things
Certain things being my adultery?
Just your leaving
You know, I've gone through all of it
And I knew that if you left,
my life wouldn't end there
It's very hard and very painful, but my life
is way beyond you leaving
More than that, I know
I will survive it without falling apart
Otherwise I wouldn't have been able
to live with you at all
Because I know you, or I think I do
And I don't need
those half-truths from you
when you say that you're going
somewhere and it's not true
Don't say that, because
every time I believe you
Every time I hope that
we've passed that stage
where you had to say
just a bit of truth
Because the most painful thing
is to realise that
I'm not your closest person,
but people around you are
They know more about you
That's what really hurts
Shall we go for a walk?
- We actually don't argue often, you know
- Very rarely
What is it with this thing?
That was just...
It's like Liya said today -
"you're guarding me, right?"
D2, Nekrasov, good evening,
why I can't get through to you?
- How do these things work?
- D2. Nekrasov
We need someone who can
watch the kids while we go out
Thank you
This might wake the kids
That? No, if they're asleep,
they'll be fine
Thank you
They're sleeping like angels.
Sniffling a little
A simply idyllic scene
Liya hasn't even done her
ninety-degree turn
Remember, we got married
because we wanted each other's child?
So there's no question
that we both wanted Borya
It was... well, you could say
our first joint project
- That formula of yours came together too
- Yes
For the first time
While
in Liya's case
From my side everything
was horribly twisted
Of course I wanted the baby
and you and I had tried before
But at the point when...
when we'd made Liya
for me it was more of...
I'd call it a return ticket, you know?
I was leaving, but I knew I'd be back,
because I was making her just then
And there I was
justifying myself by thinking
that you were using your tears to...
Nikita, that wasn't true
It wasn't true
- It wasn't true about my tears
- That's how I wanted to see it then
It wasn't true
- It's true that there were tears
- Of course there were tears, but
- They were about something else
- I asked you at the time
Yes, you did. And I just
followed the path of least resistance,
and said yes, we were making a baby
The main thing is that
she's such a marvel
Yes, that she turned out to be
a joy
and I have no idea
what I did to deserve her
The result so completely fails
to match the circumstances
- And that's when a new formula appeared
- Yes, a little later
In the process
And Borya...
He's so good, and he wants
to be better and to push Lia too
- It gets to the point of ridiculousness
- He really is
But at the same time,
he's trying to stay ahead of her
- Yes. But he is exactly like you, Nikita
- He is
- Nikita... I love you
- I love you too
What made you fall in love?
What was the catalyst?
That was different
with each woman
With some it was a feeling
With one girl I fell in love because
everything was so light and easy
and beautiful
- You mean her?
- Yes
Therefore I thought
it would all be safe
Because it seemed unlikely
to get serious
The other was the opposite.
It took much longer
Time is very relative... because
She's a very serious
and thoughtful person
I mean she's very impressive
These are my impressions of them
Let's sit down for a while
- Do they know you love someone else?
- One of them does. The other doesn't
- You told her?
- Yes
Why?
That was what gave rise
to our relationship
the fact that I could
talk to her about anything
And that's what
I realised I want to have with you
Because the contrast made me see
that you and I don't have that
Hush now, hush, time for bed
Don't lie right on the edge
The little grey wolf will come along
And grab you by your flank
He'll drag you back into the woods
and underneath a willow tree
Little grey wolf don't come to us
Don't wake our baby up
Don't be afraid.
Touch him when he's running
Touch him when he's running
You
Touch him when he's running
Step away
so she can pet him
This one?
- Are you scared of him a little?
- No, I'm just afraid that he...
- Must be his mum
- Has he got bitten?
He's doing something
she doesn't like so she bites him
I want a chocolat bar
Alright
Someone left
and another one came
Lots of people walk here.
Security guards, journalists
- Institute employees
- Why do they walk here?
- It's an institute, people work here
- What about these ones?
- These people work as well
- Then why do they
- Hello
- They walk like they
Just ignore them,
people work here
- Are they guarding the street?
- It depends. Let's turn here
Who's the first one to run...
Lia, let's go look for mum
Yes, with Borya
And we'll see who's at home
Are you running to the canteen?
She's gonna outrun you
What?
- She wants to run to the canteen
- Dad, look
Yes, that's great
Have you eaten yet, sweetheart?
Mum, Mum, hi.
Where've you been?
We saw the piggies, I did some shooting,
and rode on a motorbike
And which was your favourite?
The piggies ran away
from me, and from Borya too
You didn't catch one?
No, I got to hold one little piglet
You have to grab him quickly, like this
Borya, Borya, did you eat?
Have you had dinner?
He hasn't, no
Sorry, honey, but you have to eat
I just had
two glasses of birch juice
Borya won't eat the marrow
You have to eat. And anyway,
where are you going? It's late
- I'm going to go for a ride and then...
- Borya
one lap
and then we eat
That's the deal. That's it
Here. I need to p-p-...
Pee? Hold on.
Evacuation time, evacuation time
- Let's run, go go
- Evacuation. Evacuation
Evacuation
- Evacuation
- If it's a poo... tell me if you want to poo
Deary me. I'm sorry, honey.
I'm sorry
If the cottage cheese isn't
sweet enough, add some sugar
All right, I'll do it now
It's very sweet
We can go out at night
No, we can't.
Night time is for sleeping
Then why did Borya
want to go out?
Borya got confused.
He thought it was already morning
We'll go out in the morning
It's all right, dear
Sweetheart, let's go brush our teeth
Go here instead. Then,
you control more of them places
- THOSE places
- Thanks
Borya's brushed his teeth.
Now it's your turn
- Have one more plum and then we go
- Me?
- You too if you want
- You've brushed your teeth though
Well... Can I just rinse later?
Of course. Have another plum
Liya, do you want it or not?
We're going
No, it's plum, then
brushing her teeth and that's it
Then let's go, Liya
I can't go over there,
I'm too tired
Too tired to brush your teeth?
We'll help you
- Let's go, honey
- Brush my teeth
Right here?
Let's go, honey
I can carry you if you want?
Can Mummy brush my teeth here?
I don't think she can, Liya
And the glass?
Mum will help you.
She'll brush your teeth
Come on, I'll carry you
to Mummy
Liya, the toothbrush is waiting for you
"Where is Liya?"
"Where are those little teeth?"
Let her finish it.
I'll take it here
Honey...
Mummy, I can't.
I'm tired
You're tired? Do you want
to finish your plum, or not?
Liya
I'll eat it
You're misbehaving.
I'm taking away the plum
- I'll finish it
- Be quick. The tooth brush is waiting
- What's this?
- The queen
That's a shame. All right
That was silly of me
That's the last time you get
to take a move back
Fine, thanks
I'm bringing out Old Knighty
No, it's fine
"On the meadow a huge djinn
was making a fire"
"little djinns were
bringing him dry brushwood"
"And more and more new djinns
were coming out of the wood"
"young, old, black, red, hairy, tailed,
with terrible fangs and glowing eyes"
"When the fire flared up
all djinns sat around wailing"
"Oh Master, don't send the tailors to us"
"have pity for our coats"
"Have your coat sewn from something else"
"Deliver us from the tailor
with his scissors"
"There was so much roaring,
screeching, squealing and howling"
"that the poor terrified Weaver
let go of his branch"
"and fell right into the middle
of the djinn gathering"
"The Weaver thought he was doomed,
but luckily the Tailor kept his cool"
"He jumped down from the tree,
started clicking his scissors"
"And shouted with all his might"
"Grab them, hold them,
bring them here"
"With an awful yowl, the djinns scattered,
and disappeared into the dark"
"The tailor and weaver waited till morning,
then hurried back home"
"You see?" said the tailor, "You wanted
more than you needed"
"And your greed very
nearly killed you"
Nikita, what's bothering you?
I feel that something
very important is happening to me
and I don't
know how you'll react
But I want you to be
a part of this process, you know?
I also want to be a
part of this process
Especially because
working in the Institute has
helped me to understand
or understand something
about myself, that
My ideas...
The ones I've had since I was young,
about how everything is organised
and how it should be organised
are actually all
unrealistic
As it's happened...
it's happening here
I think it's very important
and I'd like you to...
to feel it with me
What's unrealistic?
For example...
You know, I've always wanted to
control everything in all matters
in simply everything
As it turns out, I live
in an imaginary world
inhabited not by people,
but by my ideas
Well
In a way, it's always like that
- We all live in our own worlds
- I think happy people are...
- Can escape
- Can get through this and
talk with real living
people, and not with
ghosts
In any case, you'll always
perceive others your own prism
It's just a question of
hearing others
Yes
That's...
That's what I'm working on
But what can I do about it?
Well...
You know, I think you're
doing everything right
You trust me and...
It's not that you're
ruling me with an iron rod
It's me, who is like
holding the rod
above myself
But if you say it to me then
it will be a lot easier
Well
Just don't...
I'm running off my feet too
And I'm just not ready to listen
to you in certain situations
because I spend the
day running around
then rush home to look
after the children
and when I've put the
children to bed I just collapse
I'm not ready to listen
to anything by that point
not even my own children
But... that will pass, you know
At a certain point the
children will grow up
Yes, we just have to get through it
At a certain point
there'll be... I don't know...
You'll no longer have so
much on your plate at work
I don't know, something
will happen and then
it will turn out that
I'm a different person
Yes, and that I don't know you
And that you're a
different person too
because, you know,
I'm rushed off my feet too
And on my way I'm trying to
to do the parenting
to save the world, to...
to write formulae, and to look
at beautiful girls too, you know
I think
that on my part, in
our relationship there's been
for, I don't know, about
the last five years
the situation has been that
I have kind of closed
myself up from you
and
But at the same time I closed
myself off from myself too
That is, I...
I tried to shove myself into
a little box, into some limits
into some kind of bunker
where I just keep turning
the same handle round and round
I just do everything that
needs to be done
I'm completely...
just... like...
cutting myself with scissors
from all sides and
Instead of taking off
I try to find axes with which I hack
off a couple more of my feathers
Then I suffer and wonder
why I'm in such pain
What is it, Nikita?
For example, I understood
that I can fall in love
Have you fallen in love?
I have
But... It's not... It's...
It's not what it was before
What is it then?
It's that... I love you
I... I...
I love our children
But at the same time
I can have some
feelings for other people
How do you see it?
How do I see it? I don't
see it, I feel it, feel it
No. How do you see this situation?
No. Well, it's only
a theoretical situation
It... it's not... the thing...
How can I put it?
There isn't a specific
Nothing's going on, it's just...
No, Nikita, we're all
human
- I can fall in love too
- You can fall in love too
It's just... what do we do next?
I'm not trying to say that
I need to have sex on
the side, or something like that
That's not what I'm talking about
What I want to say is that
I want to feel that I'm a free...
a responsible and free person
- How does that work?
- I don't know
Any second now
we'll hear the "Mu-u-um"
You know, someone's already
running around up there
We're not going to get
any sleep now
Let's call up the nanny
Though we still won't
get any sleep
I...
What?
Tell me
- It doesn't matter
- Tell me, tell me
It's just, you
know I... I won't...
I won't be able to be new and
different for my whole life
You don't need to be, I love
you just as you
The way you were when
I fell in love with you
You don't change for me
That's not true, Nikita,
it's just an illusion, can't you see?
It's just that once
again you're afraid
of seeing things the
way they really are
No, that's not what it's about
It is about that too, it is...
I don't know...
I'm too tired to think
Shall I help you?
What?
Stop. You'll tear it again
It's like with Borya, I
ask him not to lie
because otherwise I'll never
believe him in the future
It's one and the same, how
can you trust someone
who tells lies?
But you mustn't say that
There are very few
people who don't lie
- I don't lie
- Well, I do
And because I myself don't lie
I always believe other people
Why doesn't it ever occur to me
that people can lie?
I've told you hundreds of times
that I believe
what people say to me
I was just afraid to tell you
Also, it would be nice to know
that this isn't the last time
you'll tell me things
and that I'm not going
to be taken by surprise
whenever I go somewhere
And then you're surprised
that I'm not cheerful
Have you got a handkerchief, Nikita?
I'll have a look
Nikita, you know, I
know that you're like that
And there's no need to...
I guess if it's not there...
...you don't get passionate about anything
I just knew it all already
Tanya, you mean, you'd rather
admit that I'm like
that in theory
but not know the details?
Borya's awake
I think the thing is that
I've just grown up a bit
And managed to put it into words
I'm up already, I've
been lying there for hours
- I can't keep my eyes shut
- What's the matter?
I don't know, I just...
I can't do it
I already slept for a bit
But I'm all awake now
You can go and play
quietly if you like
Why have you got dressed,
Borya? It's still very early
Go and lie down a bit
longer and you'll drop off
It was the same yesterday
Can I go downstairs?
Yes, go down, just
don't wake Lia up
Are you expecting
me to say to you
"Go on then, introduce me to her"
- Are you?
- No, Tanya, I'm not
If I say to you "Go on,
introduce me to her, Nikita"
If you say that, then...
You'll organize a little party
Right?
Yeah, that might not
be such a bad idea
It could even be fun
What if I were to tell you that?
That you'd fallen in love?
What would you be like?
I don't know, I can't
say before it happens
- Well, should I tell you?
- Go on then
- That I've fallen in love?
- Yes. Definitely
I can't tell you before
it happens either
No, I'm only asking you
to tell me what you feel
when you feel something
- Now, I feel bad
- I understand
- I want to feel sorry for you
- Don't feel sorry for me
Well, not "sorry" but
give you a cuddle
Well that's how you
should act in life then
as if I'm...
a pet dog or something
who you have to feel
sorry for and stroke
Don't mistake love and
pity for one another
If you could go back and do it again,
what would you have done?
Or what would you want to do?
Tanya, due to the fact
that I went through all that
I understood something
about myself after that
If I'd started from
the point I was at back then
- Yes, now
- then I wouldn't be in that situation
Where would you be?
What would have happened?
I wouldn't have paid any
attention to those girls
- Why?
- Because they were completely irrelevant
Whom would you have
paid attention to?
It's nothing to do with falling in love.
You see?
Yes, I understand, you fell in love
You had a sense of duty, you
were overwhelmed by emotions
- All in one go
- And out of the blue a stranger
turned up in the heat
of the moment
If everything had been how you'd
wanted, how would it have been?
Your emotions would have
overwhelmed you whatever
you don't control whether you fall
in love or not, what can you do?
You know, the only thing that makes
your whole life experience valuable
is that it lets you do things in
the future, not in the past
Or perhaps it's not at all valuable
History teaches that
it teaches us nothing
You simply found out that you are
able to do something like that
No, just that
I can't control myself
Did that surprise you?
Yes
Because
I found out that I
can't control myself
in situations in which I
understand, or so I thought
all the boundaries and limitations
and all the circumstances
It even
turned out that I can't even
control myself in a situation like that
What help have limitations and
boundaries ever been to anyone?
Boundaries and limitations
are put in place to provoke people
Not to stop them
No one ever anywhere
has ever been
helped in any way
by boundaries and limitations
They helped me
- How?
- They helped me realise
that I can't be stopped by
any boundaries or limitations
I shouldn't have said anything
What does "should" or
"shouldn't" even mean?
You're just saying what you feel
I'm asking you to
say what you feel
Don't pick what you
should and shouldn't say
It's me who gives the wrong
answers to all the questions
You know where I get my
sense of should and shouldn't from?
I've already told you that
I'm an absolute egoist
I know what I should
and shouldn't do
Very well... then that's your choice
I accept it
What else could you do?
Where could I go to
get away from you?
Go on, downstairs
Dad... Dad
Take this
Go on, go downstairs
Please
Have you been up for long?
- Borya?
- Yep
For an hour
- Did you hear what we were talking about?
- What?
Did you hear our conversation?
Yep
Do you have
any thoughts about it?
- What do you mean?
- Doesn't matter
Borya, I'm hungry. Do you
want to come to the office with me?
- Have you finished your chicken?
- I've already had some
- Shall I finish it for you?
- Nah
- Are you going to finish it or not?
- Nah
- You're not going to finish it?
- Nope
I'll finish it off then
A quick game
- A quick game, go on then
- Look... No, no, look
Your horses got there quick
Like Red Army men
Ah, no, it's not check...
It's not checkmate
Not yet? That's good
Yeah, they did get there quick
Why is it always you?
I also want to play
You've been playing with it
on the way here
No, not all the time
Borya, please sit down on the bench
- Lia, let's go sit on the bench
- No, no
You see, there is a car coming.
You can't jump the rope here
- With Borya? Sit down
- No, with Borya
- Shall we keep on walking?
- It's up to you
I'll go
I will go further
without you
- Will you go further with me?
- If you like
All right.
Do you want your jumping rope?
- As you like
- Alright then
You will have to catch the ball
with the jumping rope
- Alright then
- Run and catch it and give it back to me
- Try not to hit the car
- I'll also try to catch it
- Why is mum not coming back?
- I don't know, she's busy with her things
Lia, let's go
Let's go
Borya, you're waiting for Mama, right?
I'd rather you waited with us
Come
It's really good
Just don't put them
on the chessboard
- Why not?
- Because I'm still playing with it
It's "chessBOARD", not "CHESSboard"
- CHESSboard?
- CHESSboard
- You're embarrassing me
- This paper will be my board
Lia, dear, where shall I put your plate?
EMployee of the month,
or employEE of the month?
Right
- Where do I put your plate? Next to Daddy?
- Can I put it on the paper?
I would be so happy
if you sat next to me
I want it on the paper
What do you want on paper, honey?
To play chess without Borya
I'm giving you a napkin,
on which you're going to eat
And I'm giving you... a newspaper
No, a whole magazine
for you to play on
I can't put you there, next to
such a big cake. Your mother needs that
Are you sure
you don't want some chicken first?
Yes, absolutely
I thought I'd brought more forks.
Here
Your chess pieces can go here.
Did I not bring the forks?
- Where did I put them?
- How should I serve the chicken?
- One plate would be fine
- Sure
- One, two, three, four...
- You found them?
Thank you so much
Would you like some juice
or water?
What kind of juice is there?
- Apple
- I don't want it
- You'll have water, Lia?
- I want apple juice
Borya, take your glass, please,
and one for Daddy
Thanks
- and one for Mummy
- Thanks
That should do
I'm playing against myself,
Lia, so could you...
These red ones
And the white ones,
you can give them all to me
Here
Thank you
Just don't make me
another sandwich
Liya, dear
Since you're the youngest,
you get first pick
- We'll quickly eat up the rest
- The one with the skin
- Do you want the skin?
- Just the skin
- Let me...
- No, just the skin
Honey, you can't eat just the skin
It won't fill you up
Here's some more skin
with a little bone
Can you manage it?
Liya, sweetie, I've given you a fork
- Mate
- Well done
Congratulations
With the king again?
- No
- With the queen?
Thank you, Anya dear
I couldn't have taken in anyway
because there was a rook
How much chicken
do you want, darling?
I'll say when
I think... now just
a little piece, please
- This one?
- Yes, that's it
And that one as well
Nikita
I'll have cottage cheese
Daddy, will you fire
the cannon with us?
- Tanya, take some
- No... bread and cheese will do me
Thanks
- Thank you
- Till next time
Bye
Well, did you find a strong move?
A strong move? Well...
At any rate,
I'll take a pawn
- No, that's not the strongest move
- I know
Then make a strong move
- What?
- Then make a strong move
I don't know what would be a strong move
How do I recognise it?
Consider your possibilities
Right. First possibility,
the rook takes me
Second,
the queen takes me
Third,
the knight takes me
Fourth,
the knight...
This is... hopeless
Why is it hopeless?
Whom does the knight threaten
if he takes that pawn?
Well, the king
So what if he does?
I'll be in check
So what?
That's not where your strength lies
You're threatening rook,
king and queen at the same time
I can't protect all of them
It's called a "fork".
It's a very strong move
I either lose the game
or lose the queen
There lived two fellows
You're doing ever so well, sweetheart
Where did we stop?
Right there
This is where I started
Yes, but you reached the full stop
Two fel-lows. Full stop
There lived two fellows
Full stop
- O
- Good girl
On.. on...
On... on...
Ong.
What's that last letter?
O. N... On
One...
Ones... One...
One
it says... Si... Sa...
Sa. Sa-n... San
- Borya beat me, you know
- He told me. Did you let him win?
I can't believe it
Of course, I overlooked a lot of things
- But no, I never gave in deliberately
- I forgot the plate
I never held back
I'm so glad
He was so happy
- Can you move this?
- It's great Borya's so into chess
- And many other things as well
- Your napkin...
He's grown up so suddenly.
He said "Mummy dearest"
- "Mummy dearest"?
- Yes
He said to me,
"darling father, you're not going anywhere"
Something like that
No, that's not how he said it
Liya's something else
She wouldn't leave the pigsty
But she couldn't grab
one of the little pigs either
- Maybe she was scared?
- No, even I couldn't catch one
No, they're just too agile.
But she wouldn't leave
They must be charming
in some way
whatever is might be
I'm getting tongue-tied,
that's how knackered I am
The thing is...
It's always like that with us
We get so tired we can't even talk
And this fatigue
happens on such levels that
it makes it impossible to talk
about the things you want, because...
You come home from work
the kids are all over you,
you put them to bed
There you go
I want to tell you that
I've fallen in love with a woman
who doesn't reciprocate
It's hurting me and
I want to share this with you
First off, it's ridiculous that I want
to share it with you, but I do
And secondly...
She doesn't feel the same?
No
What if she did feel the same?
Or say, in five years
I meet someone who does?
Or tomorrow
I'd like to know...
I don't want it to
keep secrets from you
I don't think you know me, really
because
I don't think you know
what I'm capable of
Such as?
Well, for example...
to get drunk
and hit on a girl
I don't care for
then reach the point
where you need to fuck
realise that I don't
have any feelings for her
and to just leave
And leave her
with her feelings hurt
Just to get out of bed saying
"I don't love you"
"I love some other girl"
This has happened to me
And what do you want from me?
I want you to know
that I'm capable of that
and some
And what is it that you want?
I want to have an opportunity...
I don't know
say
to rent the house next door and
have the girl I like move in there
and go live there
three days a week
Nikita, I won't live like that
I simply won't
So that is the line you won't cross?
I'm not saying that
not talking about uncrossable lines
I just don't want it
- I don't want it
- And at that moment your love will end?
It's not a question of my love.
It's a question of my choice
It's a question of what I want for myself.
It's not about you, me or the kids
I mean, it IS about me
And I don't want it.
It won't work for me
- What would work for you?
- In that scenario you just leave
If you love somebody that much -
you go
I don't want you going back and forth
I don't want to because
I couldn't live like that
I don't think I could live like that
What if I rent a house
and move the man I love in there?
We rent two houses next door.
One for you and one for me
I...
I don't know how to play
the victim, Nikita
Could it be accepting me,
rather than playing a victim?
Yes, if you did the same for me
- So I rent another house?
- But hold on
If that's what you wish,
of course
Because in this particular scenario,
I'll need to prove to myself
that I, too, can turn elsewhere emotionally
Why does it have to be such a battle?
Because it hurts me,
because I have feelings for you
And for you to just go away
somewhere, to me it's...
It's hard for me
It's hard that you come temporarily
If you need to go, go,
I won't hold you
You need to, you go, that's all
But for you to live
next door, no thanks
If you need to go, then go
But I love you
And I don't want to go
And I can't live in two houses, Nikita
So I have to bring a girl
to our house?
You can. Then I will go
So what do we do?
So if I went to work
- and went to my lover without telling you
- No
it would be a less painful option?
No, Nikita, we have tried it
and it didn't work
It's straightforward
You are not capable
of living for two women
You can fall for someone but that's...
You know, the excitement lasts while...
while it's still an infatuation
As soon it becomes an issue
of changing your family
you will have to resolve it anyway
I don't really believe that
you can love two people
You can be infatuated with one
and love another
The option of being infatuated with me
is in the past, you see?
I don't know, Nikita. I mean...
I think this situation is possible
I just can't tell you in advance
that yes, this is how it will be
Do you see?
Do you want to know why?
I'll tell you. Because...
Right now, and for the last
couple of years or just under...
I've had an absolute priority in my life,
which is my two children
Ten years from now, they'll become
independent from you. Maybe fifteen...
No, even in a few years I'll have
a far greater degree of freedom
But given that at this stage,
you and I have different priorities
- Our situation is not equal
- No
That's why
I can't tell you in advance
with my acute sense of equality
and brotherhood
how long... my patience will last
You see, I won't...
I won't get in your way
I won't help you
I'd very much like us
to be able to talk about it
But I can't promise you
what my feelings will be
At least while I love you
I do need to have
that wave
of having a new woman
in my life
No, Nikita, dear.
You need it
When your life
isn't exhausting otherwise
While it's overwhelming you...
Like when Borya was little,
all those sleepless nights
Like me not having a job,
waiting for you at home
If I quit my job now,
stay at home, take full care of you
not be as the exhausted mum I am,
you wouldn't need that wave
for some time at least.
And if at the same time we move
if our house starts falling apart
or if mum or dad gets sick
you won't need it
You just have a certain pot
that needs to be filled to the top
and if it's not full
you'll fill it with something
Of course it's best
to fill it with something pleasant
Tanya, everyday chaos
is not enough for me
neither is caring for sick parents
or with career or what-have-you
Nikita, in that sense maybe
I'm just not quite right for you
If it were another woman,
maybe she could fill you
I don't think so. I think you are
the only one who's right for me
Because you're the only one
who tries to understand me
You say you're selfish
but you're not
You're always looking outwards,
as I see it
- And not inwards
- I do that for myself
For myself
I live with you
so I try to understand you
But the fact that you live with me
and not some Vasya, Petya or Maxim
is that pure coincidence?
That I don't know
- But none of it matters anyway
- What do you mean?
You're hugely exaggerating
Don't you think I'm showing
a side you weren't aware of?
No, I don't
No, I don't.
That you can get drunk?
I already knew.
That you...
you need to fall in love? I already knew.
What's the big deal?
Well, you know
I know that I'm capable of
crazy things in a drunken state
You're trying to buy
an indulgence from me
I'm not. I'm trying to figure out
the limits of your love
I can say anything you want right now
- But I don't know how I'll feel then
- Just imagine
But Nikita
If you're drunk...
I've told you a hundred times not to speed
where we live
Because there are little kids around
I think you're a crazy driver.
But what am I supposed to do?
- I don't drive like I'm crazy anymore
- Yes, you do
I had a conversation about it
with the neighbour
- It's just that the car is loud
- That's not the problem
That you are... kind and gentle
and a basically honest man?
I already knew that
And that's why your lies
are killing me
Your lies are indirect, they're all
by omission. You lie to yourself
when it suits you
And one time it really devastated me
and offended me for life
When?
In the situation with Liya
When I said that you made me come back
because you got pregnant?
Yes
That was low of me
It wasn't about being low.
You were dishonest, you were lying
But I don't want to
discuss it now
- Why? Let's talk about
- I told you, I don't want to
That's it, end of discussion
I think that's one of those cases
when it's clearly unfair
It's unfair to me, because
I've never been dishonest with you
And never tried to trick you
And that time wasn't a trick either.
I was totally honest with you
I told you everything beforehand
which day it was
and what would happen
It's not like I was forcing
aphrodisiacs down your throat
So you don't get to tell me
that I was dishonest with you.
You were the dishonest one
You were dishonest and unmanly
for not taking responsibility
For not saying to yourself
"yes, that's how it was"
You know why? Because you...
Because in another woman's eyes
you didn't look as honest and responsible
a man as you wanted to be
You know, Nikita
even emotionally
I've put a lot of effort into
being able to survive certain things
Certain things being my adultery?
Just your leaving
You know, I've gone through all of it
And I knew that if you left,
my life wouldn't end there
It's very hard and very painful, but my life
is way beyond you leaving
More than that, I know
I will survive it without falling apart
Otherwise I wouldn't have been able
to live with you at all
Because I know you, or I think I do
And I don't need
those half-truths from you
when you say that you're going
somewhere and it's not true
Don't say that, because
every time I believe you
Every time I hope that
we've passed that stage
where you had to say
just a bit of truth
Because the most painful thing
is to realise that
I'm not your closest person,
but people around you are
They know more about you
That's what really hurts
Shall we go for a walk?
- We actually don't argue often, you know
- Very rarely
What is it with this thing?
That was just...
It's like Liya said today -
"you're guarding me, right?"
D2, Nekrasov, good evening,
why I can't get through to you?
- How do these things work?
- D2. Nekrasov
We need someone who can
watch the kids while we go out
Thank you
This might wake the kids
That? No, if they're asleep,
they'll be fine
Thank you
They're sleeping like angels.
Sniffling a little
A simply idyllic scene
Liya hasn't even done her
ninety-degree turn
Remember, we got married
because we wanted each other's child?
So there's no question
that we both wanted Borya
It was... well, you could say
our first joint project
- That formula of yours came together too
- Yes
For the first time
While
in Liya's case
From my side everything
was horribly twisted
Of course I wanted the baby
and you and I had tried before
But at the point when...
when we'd made Liya
for me it was more of...
I'd call it a return ticket, you know?
I was leaving, but I knew I'd be back,
because I was making her just then
And there I was
justifying myself by thinking
that you were using your tears to...
Nikita, that wasn't true
It wasn't true
- It wasn't true about my tears
- That's how I wanted to see it then
It wasn't true
- It's true that there were tears
- Of course there were tears, but
- They were about something else
- I asked you at the time
Yes, you did. And I just
followed the path of least resistance,
and said yes, we were making a baby
The main thing is that
she's such a marvel
Yes, that she turned out to be
a joy
and I have no idea
what I did to deserve her
The result so completely fails
to match the circumstances
- And that's when a new formula appeared
- Yes, a little later
In the process
And Borya...
He's so good, and he wants
to be better and to push Lia too
- It gets to the point of ridiculousness
- He really is
But at the same time,
he's trying to stay ahead of her
- Yes. But he is exactly like you, Nikita
- He is
- Nikita... I love you
- I love you too
What made you fall in love?
What was the catalyst?
That was different
with each woman
With some it was a feeling
With one girl I fell in love because
everything was so light and easy
and beautiful
- You mean her?
- Yes
Therefore I thought
it would all be safe
Because it seemed unlikely
to get serious
The other was the opposite.
It took much longer
Time is very relative... because
She's a very serious
and thoughtful person
I mean she's very impressive
These are my impressions of them
Let's sit down for a while
- Do they know you love someone else?
- One of them does. The other doesn't
- You told her?
- Yes
Why?
That was what gave rise
to our relationship
the fact that I could
talk to her about anything
And that's what
I realised I want to have with you
Because the contrast made me see
that you and I don't have that
Hush now, hush, time for bed
Don't lie right on the edge
The little grey wolf will come along
And grab you by your flank
He'll drag you back into the woods
and underneath a willow tree
Little grey wolf don't come to us
Don't wake our baby up