Daryn's Gym (2022) - full transcript
A third-generation family gym finds itself in a David and Goliath type battle when a fitness conglomerate opens its flag-ship branch across the road from them.
Hi, I'm Daryn. Daryn JNR.
And I'm the owner and general manager here
at Miller & Sons Gym, in Johannesburg.
I know I don't look like your, like your
regular gym owner, but that's kind of our USP.
We might be small, but we've
got something for everybody.
A killer weight section.
Treadmills and bike machines
and a coffee shop with a smoothie bar
for all your health needs.
I truly believe that you are what you eat,
which is why everything here is responsibly sourced,
organic and sugar free.
I mean, sugar is basically nature's cocaine.
At least with the real shit, you lose weight.
There's a fat attack support group
run by my sister, Bianca.
Only three things in life will tell you the truth,
children, drunks,
and yoga pants.
And I'm a combination of all of them.
I'm disappointed in you.
Next.
Where most gyms are these
impersonal sausage factories,
I like to make things a little bit more
friendlier, more personalised.
A homemade protein ball on your
bench for when you get here.
Pre-workout in our water fountain.
And then we have trainers who create
a workout designed perfectly for you.
So flexible.
I'm committed to each of my clients body journeys,
just as much as I'm committed to
my personal Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ.
I send them pictures from my daily workouts,
along with motivation from the Bible,
making sure that their spirits
have as much gains as their abs.
Jesus is like my main guy.
I mean, beyond being the
saviour of humanity and God's son,
his muscle to fat ratio in those
old renaissance paintings, is inspirational.
Hashtag goals.
And my personal favourite,
a pet section for all our fitness animals
who don't want to leave their pets at home.
It's run by Richard. He's almost finished
with high school and he makes sure
that everyone is taken care of there.
I hate animals.
The only reason I am here is because
I got caught smoking dope by my principal.
This is part of my community service.
8 weeks of this before I can join
my boys on the coast for matric holiday.
That's if I don't get tetinus from all
the rusty equipment they have here.
I even help the guys with their
Vitamin D injections when they need me to.
We're basically the nice guys
of the gym industry, you know.
"Kill-Them-With-Kindness" kind of vibes.
We have a lady coming in this
afternoon who might teach yoga.
Have a seat.
So, if you could be any piece of gym
equipment, which one would you be and why?
She approached me, personally,
to ask me if I needed a yoga instructor
and being a kind of guy
who likes to think out of the box,
I told her to come on in.
She's very pretty.
Anyway.
The area's gone through a bit of a boom
since the hipsters moved into Linden.
There's a steakhouse,
a sex shop,
and there's this new
building going up across the road
that's got us all excited.
Nobody knows what it is, but
Bianca says she heard it's a school for the blind.
I'm not here to fuck around.
I started as a personal trainer
in Starz Fitness in Cape Town
about 4 years ago
and now
I run the most successful branch in the country.
But it's easy to rise through the ranks
when your competition
is a bunch of skinny bitches
from Seapoint who close shop at 3:00 PM.
Fucking Capetonians and their 'work/life' balance.
They say you ain't shit until you've made it in Jozi
and my dream is to make Starz, the
leading fitness brand in the country.
And that's why I'm here.
Starz is opening its flagship
store and they want me to spearhead it.
Building is underway and
we should be opening shop in the new year
just in time for the Resolution Crowd.
That's what we in the industry call all the people
who sign their gym contracts
in the first week of January.
Nothing says welcome in to the
New Year like a gym full of fat people.
Speaking of fat,
all these business
ideas and a very long winter,
haven't been exactly kind to my own waistline.
Thank God for
Photoshop and fat burners.
Abs.
That's beautiful and just smooth out the skin.
Perfect.
There's just a little snag to the vision board.
And that's the fact that the property
isn't big enough to accommodate
all the things I'd like to have
but as luck would have it,
there's a private gym across the
road that looks like it's going under.
We made an offer on the space to the
previous owner, but that was declined.
Fortunately, he passed away a couple of
months ago and we hope whoever runs it now
will be a little bit more accommodating.
My grandfather, Daryn SNR.
He owned the gym back in the sixties.
It was just called Miller's Gym.
Before he passed he handed it over to my dad.
They decided to call it Miller & Sons.
They thought it sounded fancier.
That's my mom Starla,
when she used to be a fitness model.
She comes in every day just to, just to visit.
Darren was like, well he was like a surprise.
Because, you see, his father and I
had given up all hopes of conceiving.
He had taken this faulty batch of
steroids and it had made him sterile and...
Ja no, everyone now would
clutch their pearls if they hear that story
but back in the eighties we were all on it.
All of us.
But you know what?
It just took like a couple of bottles of wine
and a hot night in Umhlanga
to kick start things, and
nine months later, then, there was Daza.
When my dad passed away last year.
I came back from overseas
to help run things, you know.
It being a family business and all.
I used to work on the cruise ships.
I used to help run the kiddies play area.
This was very exciting.
It was a lot of fun.
My favourite though is
this.
He looks scared but he was actually having a great time.
That's me. In the bunny outfit.
Look, it's not been easy.
Prices keep on going up and
membership keeps on going down.
Everybody wants to be
a part of one of those fancy gyms
for the points or to lower their insurance costs.
But at least we own the building,
but being half a bar in debt has really
forced me to focus and think
about other ways of bringing in cash.
We run a car wash from our parking lot,
R200 for a premium wash
and R150 if you're a member.
I drive a taxi over the weekends.
Sorry.
I even did a massage course,
which seems to be really popular with some of the members.
Really popular.
Anyway, I have a pretty good
team and we all do our best.
Even in these tough times,
life can still be beautiful.
I love these guys.
Another way that I'm saving on cash
is by sleeping at the gym.
And it's really not that bad.
There's no traffic to get to work.
I'm able to use the
equipment without waiting in line,
and the treadmill is really
comfortable to sleep on.
I call it my 'bedmill'.
It only fits one person, so I don't know
what I'm going to do
when I get a girlfriend, but for now it's perfect.
If we can just make it through to December
then we'll be fine.
Just till December.
Before we climb into the admin,
I'd like to welcome a new face
at the Miller & Sons family.
This is Zintle, everybody.
She's our new yoga instructor
or 'Yogi', as they say.
Thank you, Daryn.
Hi, everyone.
Hi, Zintle.
We've decided to lean into some
more alternative fitness methods just
to bring in some new clients.
Zintle is trained in...
Ashtanga.
Ashtanga yoga, and we will be giving classes
in the mornings and the evenings.
This is Jackson.
He's our head of personal training
and social media.
Great to meet you.
If you're tired of that light
stretching, maybe you should
join one of my training programs.
It's a workout.
Okay.
If you promise to finish
one of my classes.
Deal.
Hashtag Miller time.
Hashtag ripped.
Hashtag your body is a temple.
Wow.
I promise he speaks in full sentences.
He has a degree in Kinesiology.
Don't let the hashtags and muscles fool you.
Truthfully,
I think yoga's from the devil.
It's a way for demons to enter you
but God didn't give me a spirit of fear
so I'll do the class.
I'll just be praying in tongues
as they do their meditation stuff.
Putting on a full armor of God.
That's my sister Bianca.
She's the head of reception and
runs the Fat Attack support group.
Welcome to the shit show.
And that's Jacques
he runs our smoothie bar
and he also makes the best
coffees this side of Linden.
Namaste.
Namaste.
Okay, okay. That's enough.
1 meter, 1 meter, remember what I told you.
I have a bit of a reputation for
guiding people on
their journeys to sexual enlightenment.
I studied tantric bodyworks
at Mount Kailash in India
and I was ordained to
bring this knowledge back to South Africa.
Men, women, I don't care.
A hole is a hole,
As long as they leave my space
having had a multi-orgasmic experience
then I'm happy.
I especially love introducing
straight boys to their prostates.
That's it bro, that's it.
They always squirm in the beginning
but when they surrender to it...
man.
It's like a bomb went off at the yoghurt factory.
I just have like a little question.
We don't actually have a yoga studio so
where exactly will you be doing...
The MMA section.
We can throw down some
bamboo mats, light some candles and
set the mood.
Okay.
Has anybody seen Richard?
I'm here,
but there is something
outside you might want to see.
This is bad, really bad.
Like not good.
But we'll be fine.
We're just going to do what we always do,
our best
and be kind.
Seriously?
Yes, seriously.
I'm just going over there
to be a good neighbour.
There's more than enough
clients for us all to share.
Maybe we can even partner on some things.
Okay.
Maybe, maybe take it easy on the protein balls.
You don't want to intimidate them.
Those things are toxic.
I had the shits for five days after
I made the mistake of having one.
Tsek, man. Tsek
Disgusting things.
Sorry about that, he's feral.
That's a lovey name.
Anyway, some asshole in the
area keeps on feeding them
and they won't stop breeding
and I want them all removed
before our grand opening.
Where are my manners.
My name is Funeka. Funi.
I'm Daryn.
Hi.
Are you the lady from the banner?
Yes.
So what brings you to my front door Daryn?
I'm the owner of Miller & Sons.
The gym across the road.
That sweet spot.
I'm so sorry.
Sorry for?
For what's about to happen to you.
I don't understand.
Let's stop playing games here, Daryn.
You guys are fucked.
No we're not.
So what brings you here?
And please don't tell me some
bullshit story about trying to be a good neighbour.
Wow. That's exactly why you're here.
I'm going to destroy you and your shitty little gym.
And if I were you I'd cut all my losses
and put that building up for sale.
Have a good day now.
What the fuck is in these things.
Hi. How did it go?
That's great, that's great.
Yeah, so I just met the owner.
Um, to say he was a
pussy would be an insult to my vagina.
Yah.
Perfect.
Okay, so now that the gym has got a face,
I want to destroy it even more.
Okay good, sharp.
Remember how I said I'd let
nothing stand in my way?
I knew exactly who he was
when I heard the 'doff doff'
of his Hobbit feet stamping towards me.
I've had my eye on that property
since we started building ours.
That's why I asked
my little sister to start working there,
to get the lay of the land and
take them down from the inside.
I 'Trojan-Horsed' those mother fuckers.
My sister.
Funi has always been intense.
You know,
I think we have very different
views on what it means to succeed.
All I really want out of life is a cute
little yoga studio with a vegan cafe,
space for my cats
and maybe a good guy to call home, you know?
But my way of doing things has landed me with
credit card debt and
student loans to the roof that
only Funi can help me out with,
at a price of course. It's always at a price.
But she wants to turn the
Miller & Sons gym into wellness center
and she says that once that's all set up,
I can manage that.
So, that should be really cool.
Sorry, it's the wind and stuff.
Okay there?
I'm fine.
It's that gym over there.
When they go up they're going to destroy us.
So what are you going to do about it?
There's nothing I can do.
I've already been over there.
Trying to be a good neighbour.
See if we could partner on stuff, but
the new owner she's small but
she's intense.
Why don't you fight back?
I can't.
They're bigger, smarter, faster, newer.
You know, that never stopped your father.
What's that?
Sometimes David ends up being
Goliath's bitch for twenty years
before he gets another
chance to throw a stone at him.
Don't miss your moment to
fight for what you love.
He's a good kid. Peacemaker, not a fighter.
He reminds me of myself sometimes actually.
In another reality he could
have actually been my boy
if I'd just had the guts to...
make a move with Starla.
I trained with Daryn SNR,
but he was always the top dog.
But that ship has sailed hey, long ago.
Your eyes are closed.
You're focusing on your brow point.
Making this your last cycle,
inhaling through both your nostrils,
and as you exhale,
lowering yourself onto your back
for Shavasana,
your feet are hip distance apart,
your hands are lying next to you, palms facing up,
relaxing your whole body.
Are you okay there?
Yeah, I am well, I'm just
taking in the full experience.
Okay, take your time.
This 'light stretching'
can be a bit disorientating.
Attention all staff.
Please make your way to the meeting area in 15 minutes.
Thank you.
Okay.
So here's the deal.
As hard as it is for me to say this
we're in trouble.
We're over R600,000 in debt
and unless we find a way
to make membership go up
I'm going to have to sell the gym.
That's why I called you all here today.
We're a team and I need your help.
Any ideas guys?
What about um, a tantric workshop?
A weekend thing where we,
we serve vegan meals and then
we work our way through the Kama Sutra.
Okay, I know you think that the world's problems
can be solved with chia seeds and anal beads,
but I think we need a solution that doesn't require the
gym needing a deep cleanse afterwards.
Suit yourself.
Okay.
I'm just spit balling here,
but why don't we arrange a crusade or
take in some special offerings
to be able to save the gym?
Like, those men's conferences in the bush?
Yeah, but that sounds exactly like
- my tantric workshop
- No it's not.
What I mean is men connecting together,
praising God and putting your hands
- on each other
- Laying hands on each other
- Calm down.
- Feeling...
Calm down, Faith like Potatoes.
It's never going to happen.
Okay.
Any other ideas?
Nothing?
I have an idea.
Funi said that I must get her information
that'll take them down.
She didn't say anything
about helping them.
Why don't you guys start
one of those crowdfunding pages
and reach out to anyone
who's ever set foot in this gym
and see if they're willing to help?
I don't know, hey.
Sounds a lot like begging.
Ja, but it doesn't
seem like you have much of a choice.
I have some friends who are running this
independent cinema that was going under
and they organised a movie marathon
and whoever stayed in the
cinema the longest won lifetime membership.
And then a raffle was done for the
people who had bet on those people to win the same.
I mean they only did it for
one night and they raised about 400K.
And you guys have been active for almost 60 years.
Pretty sure there's tons of
people who'd be willing to participate.
It's not a bad idea.
Ja, like Paul and I could
reach out to our old boxing community.
I could get some local media
involved and some influencers?
Yeah, we could have the prize
be a lifetime membership to the gym?
And, and, a smoothie, named after the winner of the raffle.
That's cute.
Come on, these are good ideas.
I guess we have nothing to lose.
It's not exactly what
I had in mind but Zintle was right.
We don't have a choice.
But before I set up the campaign,
I want to send that woman a message.
Let her know we're not
going down without a fight.
Yeah, we are right on track.
The building is almost finished and the marketing team
will launch the campaign
at the end of this month, Joseph.
That's great to to hear.
You get this right and you'll be looking at a
very, very healthy bonus at the end of the year.
Look Joseph, I'm going
to have to call you back.
I just arrived at the gym
and there's some business
I desperately need to take care of.
You go get 'em, tiger.
You can set the end of
the campaign over there.
Yeah.
And then we can kind of like do paid promotion
so it reaches people in the area.
I like that.
Are you ready to go live?
I think so.
Let's go.
Take that Starz Gym.
Zintle, why are you not picking up your phone?
Call me back when you get this message.
I want to know what that little troll is up to next.
Yeah. Sharp.
Oh, it's so on motherfucker.
We've decided to really throw ourselves into this.
Bianca designed some flyers to market the campaign,
and I got all the staff to hand them out to our members.
We also took Jackson's workout board
and turned it into a campaign tracker
so everyone can see our progress.
You guys ready?
Let's do it.
I think...
I think he's dead.
Did he die?
Yeah no, he died.
Obviously you can't call him.
Hey!
Oh, do you remember Sandy?
Sandy?
Sandy man. She, she married that like,
mercenary from Angola.
From Angola, that's right. Yeah yeah.
I think he's become head of the
Department of Roads or something now.
Yeah.
So Paul and I, we don't really
you know, do the social media thing.
So we had to resort to looking at
photo albums and address books
and filofaxes, you know, old school way.
Let's call her.
What's her number?
There we go.
Cool.
God, we looked good hey, Paul?
So what Daryn doesn't know
is that I haven't always
just been a fitness model.
You know what I mean?
Ja.
Wow.
Shit.
I mean, like I know
by today's standards it's really tame,
but back then, let's just say...
my centerfold was a hit.
Gosh, I had the biggest tits
back then when I gave birth to Daryn.
I got a lot of work at that time, yeah.
I think I breastfed him
for about like two years, you know,
just to keep them that way 'cause they're beautiful.
Hey, maybe that's why we're so close.
What's for breakfast?
This one has pineapple, coconut milk, strawberries,
mint and some hemp protein.
- Yummy.
- Yummy.
You know, on paper,
Jackson and I really shouldn't get along.
He's religious.
I'm spiritual.
He's a bro.
I'm a naturalist.
He's Xhosa.
I'm Afrikaans.
He's a meat eater.
I'm raw vegan with a nut allergy.
Polar opposites.
You are speaking to the manager.
Yes.
Yeah.
Uh huh.
Shame.
Richard's got a bit of a crush on me.
He leaves me
little notes and romantic things.
I've never felt like this before.
She's like the most
incredible women in the world.
Well, this is a bit of a dramatic location to meet.
It's as if you are planning a murder.
That would make me happy.
Anyway, what's happening that side?
Well...
They are broke, but
you already knew that.
And the members are really committed,
so it's going to be hard getting them out.
Do you think they will want to sell?
- I don't know.
- Why
They've just started a
crowdfunding page to try and save the gym
and they're putting it out to all the old members,
so even though it's only
been running for a couple of days
they've raised about 100K
I want you to keep your eyes open
and if there's something
that could compromise them for me
I want to know.
Team, I want you to sign up for
membership at Miller & Sons.
Infiltrate the system, Trojan style,
and when I give the signal...
It's early days, but people are contributing.
What's been really great is that
we're starting to get new members
thanks to the word of mouth.
It's pretty old school but that's
where you get your proper workout.
You know?
Like the kind of members
you'd be proud to say went to your gym.
I think one's a model.
Hey, you.
Hi.
You thirsty?
Yeah, I can drink something.
Thank you.
Cool. Just, don't let Jacques see us.
He makes such shit coffee
but I can't bear to tell him.
Oh, I know of a place where we can go.
Follow me.
This is like when
we used to sneak
by the tuck shop at school
and drink beers, hey?
No, not me.
I was playing first team rugby
so, started drinking in varsity.
Always a good boy.
Pauly, always the good boy.
You think he's okay?
Daza.
It's a lot of pressure hey, and he's not his dad.
He's stronger than you think he is.
I hope so.
How are you doing?
Hmm?
It must be tough coming here.
It is.
His memories everywhere, hey?
Even in here.
You have memories in here?
Ja.
I mean, where else
do you think Bianca was conceived?
- No.
- Yes.
Yeah, Paul's still got it.
Like, I know I'm supposed to be in mourning
but what can I say?
The guy's aged well
and I've seen him in boxing shorts
so I know what he's hiding back there.
Are you in?
Yeah.
Done.
Oh, my God
Holy shit.
What the hell, Jackson...
- Bianca?
- Move out of the fucking way.
What's happening?
I don't know but everyone...
No, no.
Oh my God.
Oh my God, it's coming.
Oh my God, oh my God.
Oh no, no.
I don't care who you are or
what belief systems you have
when a cold brown hits
even the most hardcore of atheist starts to pray.
This place is disgusting.
I'm sorry. It must be one of the animals,
they escaped from the pet section.
Who brings pet rats to gym?
No wonder you are going under.
I'm sorry.
Help.
Please help.
Please help.
I think we need to call an ambulance.
I didn't know a body could bend like that.
He looked like he was
turning into a busted Transformer.
What are you doing here?
Just being a good neighbour.
I mean, I heard some screaming
and I just wanted to
check if everything was okay.
We're fine.
So what hospital are they taking him to?
The one up the road?
Wh... why?
Oh nothing
I thought maybe I should just
pop in and take him some flowers,
with a card for a good lawyer, you know?
I think you should go.
Oh, my pleasure.
You know,
every time I'm here my allergies just
act up, you know.
Must be the asbestos in your ceiling.
We don't have asbestos.
Sure.
I'm not going to lie.
I love watching him squirm.
Shit.
What?
No, no it's nothing.
What is it?
Yeah, you don't... you don't wanna see it.
Show me.
Give me the phone.
Hey come on, give me the phone.
Okay fine but don't say
I didn't warn you. Okay?
Please help!
This is going to ruin the campaign.
Yeah.
Still early days, I guess.
Yeah.
I think just give it some time.
Bianca.
Hi.
Hi.
It's just, it's someone from the news.
What do they want?
I don't know.
Daryn Miller, hello.
I may or may not have
sent an anonymous tip off
to a journalist about a gym rivalry in the area.
The viral video didn't hurt its news value.
And now rounding off today's news
we have a classic David and Goliath
battle playing out right here in
our own backyard between family gym,
Miller & Sons and the
multinational fitness conglomerate Starz Gym.
It also happens to be the gym where
a certain flying runner video
that went viral this week took place in.
Please help!
Joining me is owner of Miller & Sons,
Daryn Miller, thank you so much for your time.
Hi Shahan, I'm very excited to be here.
So tell me more about this runner.
How's he doing?
Michael?
He's okay.
He won't be doing the Comrades
this year, but his doctor did
say that he will be back on the
treadmill by the start of next year.
He's been with the gym for 15 years.
He's a regular at Miller & Sons.
Well, that's great to hear.
Now, tell me what's
happening down there in Randburg?
Well, we've been in the area for 60 years.
The gym was opened by my grandfather
and a few weeks ago we
woke up to a really nasty surprise
when we found out that the Starz
franchise were planning on opening
a branch right across the road from us.
But surely these two gyms can co-exist?
You cater to different people.
That's what I thought
but when I went over
to try and be a good neighbour,
the new owner, she...
she said...
She said she's going
to destroy our shitty little gym.
That is intense, but let me just
remind you that it's a family show
we have to be careful with our language.
Sorry.
But our producers are telling me
about a signage issue between the two.
What's happening there?
Oh that.
Well, they decided to put a big sign
outside our entrance to take a dig at us.
So we did the same,
put a sign outside theirs.
I figured that if we can't get along and
be good neighbours, at least we can be
good enemies and fight fire with fire.
You go my boytjie.
I know Michelle Obama says
that when they go low, you go high.
But I'm of the opinion that when
somebody steps on you when you're down,
it's the perfect opportunity to trip them up.
Well, bold move but where does this all go then, Daryn?
I'm not going to sit here and lie to you.
We are struggling
and if we don't bring in
some cash by the end of December,
we're going to have to
close our doors after 60 years.
That's why we set up the crowdfunding
page with some really cool prizes...
I'm just hoping that,
people see our value and they not
seduced by flashy, corporate branding.
Yeah.
Well, that's great words.
I know it can't be easy doing what you're doing.
We are rooting for you.
Thank you.
Well, we invited Starz Gym to comment,
but they refused our invitation.
We've also included the link to
Miller & Sons crowdfunding page below.
So if you're someone like me, who
believes in supporting local business,
why not send some cash their way.
That's it for me, Shahan Ramkissoon for today.
You're watching ENCA.
You killed it! Right in the
jugular man. Yes!
My man! I didn't know you had it in you.
Dude! Your interview has gone viral.
You have over 200000 views online.
What?
Just look at your funding page.
R450 000.
I wonder what my dad
would've thought about all of this.
We almost there, little guy.
He was like the coolest guy ever.
Way cooler than I could ever be.
When we were kids, Bianca used to tell me
that I was adopted and
that my dad worked for the Post Ofiice.
I believed her for a bit
until my daddy showed me
one day that I had his eyes.
Two more, two more, two more.
Push, push, push.
One more.
Yes. 20 mins on the bike.
There he is.
R5,000 away from our goal.
What a legend.
You're the legend.
I wanted to know
if I could ask your advice,
in the lady department.
Anytime, Daryn. Listen here boet.
You're gonna have to walk with me.
I gotta get ready for church.
What's on your mind, brother?
There's this girl that I like.
Respect.
How long you guys been together?
That's the thing, right. She doesn't know.
Still early days.
Problem is I freeze
every time we have a 'moment'.
Shit, stage fright.
What do I do?
I like her.
Got to make that change, brother.
What would you do?
Ever since I got saved,
I've just devoted my entire energy to
serving God and being celibate.
Okay.
It's the best thing I've ever done.
I even had my virginity restored.
Yeah.
Our pastor was teaching on sexual purity
and told us that God makes all things brand new.
There was this girl from America.
She had been banging like every guy in town.
When she was saved,
she asked God to restore her virginity
and her 'seal' grew back.
Wow.
It's... It's excellent.
So I figured...
I figured if He could do it
for her, He could do it for me.
So I asked the pastor to
pray for me and it worked.
I know it is difficult to tell
since I am a man and all but
I know it works, I can feel it.
Before I was a virgin,
I was having so much sex.
We're not at the sex part yet.
I know what to do...
when we get there.
I'm struggling with the whole
letting her know I like her, part of it all.
Okay, okay.
Do you know...
girls really fall for me because
of my sense of humor and intellect.
So I always try and put
it in the foreground.
Ladies love a funny guy.
Yeah, yeah exactly, you are a funny guy.
Just make sure
you have some jokes lined up
and make sure
they come across quite natural.
You know what I'm saying?
You know what?
If you have a connection with someone,
you don't have to win them over.
They'll like you for you.
And remember
you can do all things through
Christ who gives you strength.
All things.
Uh-huh
Hmmm.
Ja.
No problem, I'll call you right back.
Shame.
Um, my brother isn't
exactly the coolest on earth,
and when he falls for someone,
it can be a bit uncomfortable to watch.
Like when I see a couple, my first
thought is to imagine them having sex.
But with Daryn, I don't know.
I imagine it would be more like someone
doing Cross Fit while watching The Notebook.
Like lots of sweat and crying.
This one is my favourite.
Fresh blueberries, banana, almond milk,
peanut butter and...
chia seeds.
Enjoy.
Oh, oh.
May I?
Let me help you there.
Tell me has anyone ever milked your prostate?
The campaign, it's going really well
and what makes it even better
is that it's all happening around Christmas.
It's my favorite holiday.
We deck the gym
in bright colours to brighten up your workout.
A snow machine to make it feel like it's winter.
And a Christmas tree.
A real Christmas tree, not a plastic one.
And best of all on the 24th,
I dress up like Father Christmas
and you can come and sit on my lap
and tell me whether you've been naughty or nice.
I can already hear Boney M playing in my dreams.
Christmas is about the birth of a saviour.
Not this rubbish.
We should all be in church
thanking God for the birth of His son.
But instead we're waiting for some
fat guy to slide down the chimney to give us gifts.
It's a mess.
So, Daryn's put me in charge of this
Secret Santa thing we're doing.
A gift can't be more than a hundred rand,
and I get to choose
who's paired with each other.
I like to mess with things
so I take one or two names out.
Merry Christmas
Ah, this is for...
This is last year, it was Daryn.
R250 bucks away, guys.
We're 250 bucks away.
Come on 250.
Yes! We did it, we did it!
Congratulations.
Well done, man. Well done.
Daryn.
Guys, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.
I just want to take this moment to thank...
each and every one of you
for all your support during...
the campaign.
I couldn't have done it without you.
And God.
Your dad would be so proud.
No, we're chilled, we're chilled.
We're fine, we're fine.
Na-uh Funi, I am not doing it.
This is not a request.
Why don't you ask one of your trainers?
They're already in the gym?
You think I'm going to trust
those pay-as-you-go bodyguards
with something as important as this?
I want it to be you.
And what if I get caught?
Then make sure you don't get caught.
Why are you like this?
Somebody has to be.
It's enough to get him a fine,
but not enough for him to sleep in jail.
If he sleeps in jail it will
only be for a weekend and that is it.
Okay?
Just remember, Zintle
everything I do, I do for you.
And only you.
Think about your yoga studio.
You are looking ashy there.
You should change your lotion, sis.
Something inside me has changed.
I feel like a new man.
I think I was stuck in a
bit of a rut before this whole campaign,
but it showed me that if
I put my mind to something, I can do it.
My dad used to tell me that if I wanted to
I could be as big as he was.
All I needed to do was to
put down the fatcake and work out.
So that's what I'm going to do.
I even dusted off one of
his old protein shake recipes
he showed me when I was a boy.
I don't really like the raw eggs but
if it worked for Rocky, it must be good.
I might even ask Zintle out on a date.
Can't really afford to take her to the movies but,
I can take her on a picnic.
Hi Zintle, are you looking for me?
Ja, I was also just tying my shoelace.
I wanted to find out if it's okay
for me to work half day on Thursday,
I've got a family thing in the afternoon.
Hundred percent.
You can take the whole day if you like.
Thank you
but that won't be necessary.
The morning class is picking up really
nicely and I don't want to lose momentum.
That's awesome.
If you're not doing anything on Friday,
I wanted to know
if I could take you out to dinner?
That's only if you're not doing anything.
Ja. Ja.
Sounds good.
Awesome.
I'll pick you up at 7.
Cool.
See you at 7.
Jaun.
Hi.
It's... it's been a while.
You know me, still trying to rock the world.
Yeah.
Listen, I know how super busy you are but
I was wondering if
you could make some time for me?
Back in the day,
I used to hook up with a guy who now
works for the police department.
He was a waiter and I just
started out as a trainer.
God, that man used to toss my salad
like he was auditioning for Master Chef.
There's this gym across the road and
they're up to some dodgy shit.
Steroids, maybe more.
And I was wondering if you could
swing past and clean things up for me?
No, no, no. Not now.
Wait until Christmas Eve so he can spend
the holiday in jail.
Yeah.
Oh, and what would you get in return?
Well. She said yes.
I was shaking but she said yes.
It's basically a Christmas miracle.
I'm just going to have
to do what Jackson said.
Put my best foot forward.
Hopefully that will be enough.
I'm obviously not going
in there to pressure her into anything
You probably never tell
this by looking at me but...
I'm a virgin.
I almost lost it once on the cruise ships.
Beautiful woman named Andrea.
She stayed with me
in my room and told me
she was waiting for the
perfect moment for the two of us to make love.
Anyway, it turns out she
was a stowaway from Tunisia and
we dropped her off in Greece.
You look so handsome, my Daz.
Thanks, Mommy.
Now listen, you make sure
you take all the time you need.
You hear me?
I hear you.
And here're the keys for Bliksem.
Thank you, Uncle Paul.
I promise I won't speed.
Oh no no. His speeding days are long gone.
You'll be lucky if he goes over 60.
Thank you.
Oh wait, wait, Daz. I almost forgot.
So your father won this the night we...
on the night that we met and...
Maybe it will bring you luck.
It sure brought him some.
Thanks, Mommy.
Goodbye.
Bye.
Just look at him.
He's so cute.
Loved Christmas.
Loved wearing a Speedo.
I hated that Speedo.
Loved eating fruit
but fruit did not love him, still.
Not a good idea, he gets the squirts.
You know, the thing about Daz though
is that he didn't want to come out of my womb.
Like he just didn't want to.
It was three weeks after due date,
and the doc said "that is it, enough is enough"
and he went in to evict the boytjie.
And then ja,
Daz came out with a
full head of hair and about three teeth.
His sister on the other hand,
Bianca, she couldn't wait to get out, hey.
She just tore my vajayjay right in half.
But he'll always be my little Daz.
My little guy.
God, I hope he's got rid of that Speedo.
Love you.
You did good with that kid.
Ja.
He's my precious boy.
Pauly?
How are you going to get home now?
Come to think of it,
I haven't even thought about that.
Maybe you could give me a ride?
Ja, I think that can be arranged.
Can I get you some wine?
Yeah.
Cheers.
Cheers.
It stings, it got a bit...
I like the burn going down.
It's nice.
So...
I just wanted to say
thank you for believing in me.
I have never had anybody
like you in my life before.
It was really nothing.
Wow.
I think I love you.
Daryn, I'm not sure if I misled you, but
this...
doesn't feel right.
No, you're right
It's the wine.
It's the wine.
Should we just call it a night?
Sure.
Ja.
Can't believe I misread the signals.
I was pretty sure we had a vibe.
It was probably the wine.
Probably shouldn't have that much fizz.
Ja, last time was fine.
We had a few drinks, huh?
And...
and then, um...
and then we had a good night kiss.
Stop it, Pauly.
Shut up.
Morning.
Hi.
Sorry.
- So sorry
- It's okay. I got it, I got...
Let me help you.
Sorry.
It's okay, thank you.
I'm trying not to make things awkward
between Zintle and myself at work.
It's been difficult.
I can't stop thinking about that kiss.
I even got her a bracelet.
From the jewelry section
at the Bruma Flea Market.
I guess I have to take it back now.
But it is the day before Christmas,
so I get to have some fun.
Okay.
Oh alright, alright, alright.
Here we go.
Uncle Daryn's very scary.
Yes he is. I know, very ugly.
Here we go mommy.
Alright, everyone.
It's time for the Miller & Sons Secret Santa.
All right.
Mom, this is from Paul.
Cool.
Oh, I...
I love it.
Ah, it's nothing.
It's just a few tunes from
the radio that I made for you.
I spent the whole weekend sitting by
the radio, trying to make that thing.
I love it.
Jacques, this is from TD Jakes over there.
It's about a bodybuilder who got
saved and built a church in Florida.
It ministered to me.
Thank you.
Jackson, it's from Jacques.
Wow.
It's one of those things that
makes your forearms stronger.
I love it.
Bless you.
Right, my turn.
What's that about?
I don't know.
Hi, officers. Welcome to Miller & Sons gym.
Merry Christmas.
Are you the owner of this establishment?
I am, yes.
Daryn JNR.
How can I help you?
We have a warrant to search the premises.
I'm going to need you
to remain where you are
while my partner takes a look around.
Sure wha...
what are you looking for?
That doesn't matter.
Go to the office and work your way back.
What did you do?
Why would you ask me something like that?
Because we have
officers searching our premises
and I remember what you did in high school.
Okay.
I got arrested once in
grade eight for shoplifting
and now I'm the fucking
Winona of the family.
Found it.
What's that?
Daryn Miller
I am arresting you for the
possession of illegal substances.
There has to be a mistake.
I haven't even smoked a cigarette my life.
Why don't you do us a
favor and just turn around?
No, not until you tell me what's inside.
Stay right there.
Darren, calm down.
Mom don't touch him, don't touch him.
Why?
Look away.
Fuck...
I hate it when they piss themselves.
You fuck with me.
I burn your house down.
With your kids inside.
We're going to need a mop.
I've never been so humiliated in my life.
And worst of all it happened over Christmas Eve
so I had to spend the whole holiday in jail.
Luckily I had met
Chappie to keep me company.
Like me he was framed for dealing and...
murder.
Anyway, we exchanged numbers
for when he gets out, we can keep in contact.
I've been released.
They gave me a pretty big fine.
Like all the money we
raised for the gym, kind of big.
And a bit more.
I feel horrible.
Things were really not
supposed to get this bad.
And now I think I fucked
things up with Daryn.
Hi, Daryn.
It's me.
I'm just checking in on you
after everything that happened.
Let me know.
Maybe I can come around.
I can bring a pizza.
We could just hang out and
just not think about everything.
Is everything okay?
I don't know.
You tell me.
I can explain.
There is no need to.
Please, Daryn.
I can't believe I trusted you.
Daryn, please.
I'm... I'm so sorry.
I'm going to have to ask you to go.
Daryn, please.
I think maybe if we just
sit down and have a conver...
Please go.
You and your sister
got what you came for.
Zintle, please go.
Go!
I think I am going to give Funi a call.
See if her offer's still on the table.
Funeka hello.
And you can fuck right off
if you're a telemarketer.
It's Daryn.
Oh.
I'm calling to find out if
I can still take you up on your offer.
Are you serious?
I am.
That is great to hear.
I'll send you an offer to purchase
first thing tomorrow morning.
Thank you.
Oooooooo mama.
I have to be out by the end of the week.
So I'll just...
maybe I'll see if I can get my
old job back on the cruise ships.
I'm just going to take a
few days to...
catch my breath.
I can have everything out by
the end of the week for you.
Now that it's done I feel
a bit sorry for the guy.
He put up more of a fight
than I thought he would.
If you want,
we're looking for managers
and I could put in a good word for you at HQ.
I wouldn't work for you
if my life depended on it.
Suit yourself.
I just want to thank you all for
for everything that
you've brought to this place.
My favourite...
My favourite part of coming to work was
getting to see you all.
I wish...
I wish I could have done more
to save the gym.
I wish I...
I wish I had what it took.
I'm gonna miss you.
It's okay, man.
We'll still see each other.
I'll even come to church with you
Eew, no.
This isn't Bishops.
You did good, my boy.
What I didn't tell you is that
David doesn't always beat Goliath.
But what counts, what counts
is that you threw the stone.
Thank you, Uncle Paul.
Richard.
Poor kid.
I really thought it
would work out for him.
Ja.
I just hope he doesn't have to
go back to working on that ship.
I mean when a mom's got a dream
about what their
boy's going to turn out to be,
Tickey the clown's not on top of the list.
What do you want?
Hey, we need to talk.
I have an idea that could save the gym.
One thing that Funi didn't realise
is that by asking me
to plant those steroids,
she was making herself vulnerable.
Vulnerable to me.
Goodbyes are very hard for me.
I don't know why but they
always get me feeling very...
heavy inside.
I think it's because I never got to
say goodbye to my dad before he...
before he passed.
He was already very sick
when I got offered the job, but
he was the one who
told me follow my dreams
and take it.
He said "I'll be fine, my boy."
"You get on that ship
and make people smile."
I'm going to miss you.
"I'll be here waiting
for you when you get back."
I think that's why it hurts so much.
It's like he's still here...
in every weight...
and in every piece of equipment.
It sounds stupid but
I thought that if I could save the gym,
maybe I could keep a
part of him here with me.
That way I would never have to say goodbye.
Happy New Year, Daryn.
Happy New Year, everybody.
But not you.
You mother fucker.
Fuck you.
Fuck you.
Fuck you, Funi.
You poes.
Daddy.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I lost everything
that you and Oupa worked for.
Daddy, it is gone.
All gone.
Are you finished with your tantrum now?
No.
I haven't.
Why are you here?
What do you want?
You're going to give Darren back
the money he paid for the fine.
I'm not crazy.
In what world would that be a possibility?
One where I turned myself in...
and I tell the police and your bosses
that it was us that planted the drugs.
You wouldn't.
Try me.
Fuck.
Daryn, open the door.
Daryn.
Daryn.
Daryn.
Daryn.
Why aren't you answering your phone?
What do you want?
We've got something to show you boss.
I asked you not to call me that anymore.
What do you want?
I don't want to talk to the two of you.
Daryn, please just hear me out, okay.
It was me.
I'm...
I'm the one that planted
the roids in your office.
Only because Funi forced me to.
Oh, telling me that
makes you feel better.
No, it doesn't,
but this is why I'm here.
I told Funi that if she
doesn't want me to tell the police
and her bosses at Starz, then she's
going to have to pay you
back the money you were fined,
out of her own pocket.
What are you trying to say?
I'm trying to say that
you don't have to sell the gym, Daryn.
You can keep it.
And you, why are you here?
This is just being a good neighbour.
I'll make sure your money hits
your bank account
first thing tomorrow morning.
And your gym,
are you still opening tomorrow?
Yes!
Somehow I don't think the
people that walk into this gym
would be a good fit for the Starz brand.
So I don't see us being
competition to each other.
Fine.
But I want interest, 15% on the top.
To being good neighbours.
To being good neighbours.
That's enough of that.
Okay. So I'll leave you all to it.
I do have a gym to open up tomorrow.
Congratulations!
Well done by the way, Daryn.
15% interest, good for you.
We did it.
Yeah, but you do stink
and you need to change shirts.
This does look good though.
Zintle!
I'm really sorry.
You probably don't
want to talk to me anymore
because I messed up so badly.
I just want to say I'm sorry.
Thank you.
I probably should have brushed my teeth.
Yeah, you probably should have.
Okay.
I have a gym to open up.
Yes!
Go, Daza!
Hi.
Howzit.
Hi, welcome.
I think it's safe to say
that everything turned out for the best
and the resolution crowd didn't disappoint at all.
And Starz Gym had their
big opening the other day and
Daryn and I went over to support Fu.
I think there is something
happening between her and Jacques.
No man!
Don't be weird.
He's like a hundred percent not her type.
Ma and Uncle Paul
seem to have hit it off as well.
I didn't see that one coming.
I'm not complaining.
Do you think I have to
start calling him Daddy?
So Jackson has also gone off to
North Africa somewhere
on a mission with his church.
When Jesus says men
should not live on bread alone
I truly believe he was
embracing a low carb diet.
So that means no bread, no rice, no pap.
Just healthy fats and proteins.
Amen.
And Bianca decided she wants
to be a part of the film industry.
Which is pretty perfect
because Richard did the same.
The two of them have their films up on
some popular website called OnlyFans.
I keep asking her to show them to me,
but she won't send me a link.
Okay, push in when I get the carrots out.
Fuck, yeah.
Can I tell them?
It finally happened.
It.
We did it.
We had sex.
Oh, fuck!
Oh, God.
Oh, fuck it.
And I'm the owner and general manager here
at Miller & Sons Gym, in Johannesburg.
I know I don't look like your, like your
regular gym owner, but that's kind of our USP.
We might be small, but we've
got something for everybody.
A killer weight section.
Treadmills and bike machines
and a coffee shop with a smoothie bar
for all your health needs.
I truly believe that you are what you eat,
which is why everything here is responsibly sourced,
organic and sugar free.
I mean, sugar is basically nature's cocaine.
At least with the real shit, you lose weight.
There's a fat attack support group
run by my sister, Bianca.
Only three things in life will tell you the truth,
children, drunks,
and yoga pants.
And I'm a combination of all of them.
I'm disappointed in you.
Next.
Where most gyms are these
impersonal sausage factories,
I like to make things a little bit more
friendlier, more personalised.
A homemade protein ball on your
bench for when you get here.
Pre-workout in our water fountain.
And then we have trainers who create
a workout designed perfectly for you.
So flexible.
I'm committed to each of my clients body journeys,
just as much as I'm committed to
my personal Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ.
I send them pictures from my daily workouts,
along with motivation from the Bible,
making sure that their spirits
have as much gains as their abs.
Jesus is like my main guy.
I mean, beyond being the
saviour of humanity and God's son,
his muscle to fat ratio in those
old renaissance paintings, is inspirational.
Hashtag goals.
And my personal favourite,
a pet section for all our fitness animals
who don't want to leave their pets at home.
It's run by Richard. He's almost finished
with high school and he makes sure
that everyone is taken care of there.
I hate animals.
The only reason I am here is because
I got caught smoking dope by my principal.
This is part of my community service.
8 weeks of this before I can join
my boys on the coast for matric holiday.
That's if I don't get tetinus from all
the rusty equipment they have here.
I even help the guys with their
Vitamin D injections when they need me to.
We're basically the nice guys
of the gym industry, you know.
"Kill-Them-With-Kindness" kind of vibes.
We have a lady coming in this
afternoon who might teach yoga.
Have a seat.
So, if you could be any piece of gym
equipment, which one would you be and why?
She approached me, personally,
to ask me if I needed a yoga instructor
and being a kind of guy
who likes to think out of the box,
I told her to come on in.
She's very pretty.
Anyway.
The area's gone through a bit of a boom
since the hipsters moved into Linden.
There's a steakhouse,
a sex shop,
and there's this new
building going up across the road
that's got us all excited.
Nobody knows what it is, but
Bianca says she heard it's a school for the blind.
I'm not here to fuck around.
I started as a personal trainer
in Starz Fitness in Cape Town
about 4 years ago
and now
I run the most successful branch in the country.
But it's easy to rise through the ranks
when your competition
is a bunch of skinny bitches
from Seapoint who close shop at 3:00 PM.
Fucking Capetonians and their 'work/life' balance.
They say you ain't shit until you've made it in Jozi
and my dream is to make Starz, the
leading fitness brand in the country.
And that's why I'm here.
Starz is opening its flagship
store and they want me to spearhead it.
Building is underway and
we should be opening shop in the new year
just in time for the Resolution Crowd.
That's what we in the industry call all the people
who sign their gym contracts
in the first week of January.
Nothing says welcome in to the
New Year like a gym full of fat people.
Speaking of fat,
all these business
ideas and a very long winter,
haven't been exactly kind to my own waistline.
Thank God for
Photoshop and fat burners.
Abs.
That's beautiful and just smooth out the skin.
Perfect.
There's just a little snag to the vision board.
And that's the fact that the property
isn't big enough to accommodate
all the things I'd like to have
but as luck would have it,
there's a private gym across the
road that looks like it's going under.
We made an offer on the space to the
previous owner, but that was declined.
Fortunately, he passed away a couple of
months ago and we hope whoever runs it now
will be a little bit more accommodating.
My grandfather, Daryn SNR.
He owned the gym back in the sixties.
It was just called Miller's Gym.
Before he passed he handed it over to my dad.
They decided to call it Miller & Sons.
They thought it sounded fancier.
That's my mom Starla,
when she used to be a fitness model.
She comes in every day just to, just to visit.
Darren was like, well he was like a surprise.
Because, you see, his father and I
had given up all hopes of conceiving.
He had taken this faulty batch of
steroids and it had made him sterile and...
Ja no, everyone now would
clutch their pearls if they hear that story
but back in the eighties we were all on it.
All of us.
But you know what?
It just took like a couple of bottles of wine
and a hot night in Umhlanga
to kick start things, and
nine months later, then, there was Daza.
When my dad passed away last year.
I came back from overseas
to help run things, you know.
It being a family business and all.
I used to work on the cruise ships.
I used to help run the kiddies play area.
This was very exciting.
It was a lot of fun.
My favourite though is
this.
He looks scared but he was actually having a great time.
That's me. In the bunny outfit.
Look, it's not been easy.
Prices keep on going up and
membership keeps on going down.
Everybody wants to be
a part of one of those fancy gyms
for the points or to lower their insurance costs.
But at least we own the building,
but being half a bar in debt has really
forced me to focus and think
about other ways of bringing in cash.
We run a car wash from our parking lot,
R200 for a premium wash
and R150 if you're a member.
I drive a taxi over the weekends.
Sorry.
I even did a massage course,
which seems to be really popular with some of the members.
Really popular.
Anyway, I have a pretty good
team and we all do our best.
Even in these tough times,
life can still be beautiful.
I love these guys.
Another way that I'm saving on cash
is by sleeping at the gym.
And it's really not that bad.
There's no traffic to get to work.
I'm able to use the
equipment without waiting in line,
and the treadmill is really
comfortable to sleep on.
I call it my 'bedmill'.
It only fits one person, so I don't know
what I'm going to do
when I get a girlfriend, but for now it's perfect.
If we can just make it through to December
then we'll be fine.
Just till December.
Before we climb into the admin,
I'd like to welcome a new face
at the Miller & Sons family.
This is Zintle, everybody.
She's our new yoga instructor
or 'Yogi', as they say.
Thank you, Daryn.
Hi, everyone.
Hi, Zintle.
We've decided to lean into some
more alternative fitness methods just
to bring in some new clients.
Zintle is trained in...
Ashtanga.
Ashtanga yoga, and we will be giving classes
in the mornings and the evenings.
This is Jackson.
He's our head of personal training
and social media.
Great to meet you.
If you're tired of that light
stretching, maybe you should
join one of my training programs.
It's a workout.
Okay.
If you promise to finish
one of my classes.
Deal.
Hashtag Miller time.
Hashtag ripped.
Hashtag your body is a temple.
Wow.
I promise he speaks in full sentences.
He has a degree in Kinesiology.
Don't let the hashtags and muscles fool you.
Truthfully,
I think yoga's from the devil.
It's a way for demons to enter you
but God didn't give me a spirit of fear
so I'll do the class.
I'll just be praying in tongues
as they do their meditation stuff.
Putting on a full armor of God.
That's my sister Bianca.
She's the head of reception and
runs the Fat Attack support group.
Welcome to the shit show.
And that's Jacques
he runs our smoothie bar
and he also makes the best
coffees this side of Linden.
Namaste.
Namaste.
Okay, okay. That's enough.
1 meter, 1 meter, remember what I told you.
I have a bit of a reputation for
guiding people on
their journeys to sexual enlightenment.
I studied tantric bodyworks
at Mount Kailash in India
and I was ordained to
bring this knowledge back to South Africa.
Men, women, I don't care.
A hole is a hole,
As long as they leave my space
having had a multi-orgasmic experience
then I'm happy.
I especially love introducing
straight boys to their prostates.
That's it bro, that's it.
They always squirm in the beginning
but when they surrender to it...
man.
It's like a bomb went off at the yoghurt factory.
I just have like a little question.
We don't actually have a yoga studio so
where exactly will you be doing...
The MMA section.
We can throw down some
bamboo mats, light some candles and
set the mood.
Okay.
Has anybody seen Richard?
I'm here,
but there is something
outside you might want to see.
This is bad, really bad.
Like not good.
But we'll be fine.
We're just going to do what we always do,
our best
and be kind.
Seriously?
Yes, seriously.
I'm just going over there
to be a good neighbour.
There's more than enough
clients for us all to share.
Maybe we can even partner on some things.
Okay.
Maybe, maybe take it easy on the protein balls.
You don't want to intimidate them.
Those things are toxic.
I had the shits for five days after
I made the mistake of having one.
Tsek, man. Tsek
Disgusting things.
Sorry about that, he's feral.
That's a lovey name.
Anyway, some asshole in the
area keeps on feeding them
and they won't stop breeding
and I want them all removed
before our grand opening.
Where are my manners.
My name is Funeka. Funi.
I'm Daryn.
Hi.
Are you the lady from the banner?
Yes.
So what brings you to my front door Daryn?
I'm the owner of Miller & Sons.
The gym across the road.
That sweet spot.
I'm so sorry.
Sorry for?
For what's about to happen to you.
I don't understand.
Let's stop playing games here, Daryn.
You guys are fucked.
No we're not.
So what brings you here?
And please don't tell me some
bullshit story about trying to be a good neighbour.
Wow. That's exactly why you're here.
I'm going to destroy you and your shitty little gym.
And if I were you I'd cut all my losses
and put that building up for sale.
Have a good day now.
What the fuck is in these things.
Hi. How did it go?
That's great, that's great.
Yeah, so I just met the owner.
Um, to say he was a
pussy would be an insult to my vagina.
Yah.
Perfect.
Okay, so now that the gym has got a face,
I want to destroy it even more.
Okay good, sharp.
Remember how I said I'd let
nothing stand in my way?
I knew exactly who he was
when I heard the 'doff doff'
of his Hobbit feet stamping towards me.
I've had my eye on that property
since we started building ours.
That's why I asked
my little sister to start working there,
to get the lay of the land and
take them down from the inside.
I 'Trojan-Horsed' those mother fuckers.
My sister.
Funi has always been intense.
You know,
I think we have very different
views on what it means to succeed.
All I really want out of life is a cute
little yoga studio with a vegan cafe,
space for my cats
and maybe a good guy to call home, you know?
But my way of doing things has landed me with
credit card debt and
student loans to the roof that
only Funi can help me out with,
at a price of course. It's always at a price.
But she wants to turn the
Miller & Sons gym into wellness center
and she says that once that's all set up,
I can manage that.
So, that should be really cool.
Sorry, it's the wind and stuff.
Okay there?
I'm fine.
It's that gym over there.
When they go up they're going to destroy us.
So what are you going to do about it?
There's nothing I can do.
I've already been over there.
Trying to be a good neighbour.
See if we could partner on stuff, but
the new owner she's small but
she's intense.
Why don't you fight back?
I can't.
They're bigger, smarter, faster, newer.
You know, that never stopped your father.
What's that?
Sometimes David ends up being
Goliath's bitch for twenty years
before he gets another
chance to throw a stone at him.
Don't miss your moment to
fight for what you love.
He's a good kid. Peacemaker, not a fighter.
He reminds me of myself sometimes actually.
In another reality he could
have actually been my boy
if I'd just had the guts to...
make a move with Starla.
I trained with Daryn SNR,
but he was always the top dog.
But that ship has sailed hey, long ago.
Your eyes are closed.
You're focusing on your brow point.
Making this your last cycle,
inhaling through both your nostrils,
and as you exhale,
lowering yourself onto your back
for Shavasana,
your feet are hip distance apart,
your hands are lying next to you, palms facing up,
relaxing your whole body.
Are you okay there?
Yeah, I am well, I'm just
taking in the full experience.
Okay, take your time.
This 'light stretching'
can be a bit disorientating.
Attention all staff.
Please make your way to the meeting area in 15 minutes.
Thank you.
Okay.
So here's the deal.
As hard as it is for me to say this
we're in trouble.
We're over R600,000 in debt
and unless we find a way
to make membership go up
I'm going to have to sell the gym.
That's why I called you all here today.
We're a team and I need your help.
Any ideas guys?
What about um, a tantric workshop?
A weekend thing where we,
we serve vegan meals and then
we work our way through the Kama Sutra.
Okay, I know you think that the world's problems
can be solved with chia seeds and anal beads,
but I think we need a solution that doesn't require the
gym needing a deep cleanse afterwards.
Suit yourself.
Okay.
I'm just spit balling here,
but why don't we arrange a crusade or
take in some special offerings
to be able to save the gym?
Like, those men's conferences in the bush?
Yeah, but that sounds exactly like
- my tantric workshop
- No it's not.
What I mean is men connecting together,
praising God and putting your hands
- on each other
- Laying hands on each other
- Calm down.
- Feeling...
Calm down, Faith like Potatoes.
It's never going to happen.
Okay.
Any other ideas?
Nothing?
I have an idea.
Funi said that I must get her information
that'll take them down.
She didn't say anything
about helping them.
Why don't you guys start
one of those crowdfunding pages
and reach out to anyone
who's ever set foot in this gym
and see if they're willing to help?
I don't know, hey.
Sounds a lot like begging.
Ja, but it doesn't
seem like you have much of a choice.
I have some friends who are running this
independent cinema that was going under
and they organised a movie marathon
and whoever stayed in the
cinema the longest won lifetime membership.
And then a raffle was done for the
people who had bet on those people to win the same.
I mean they only did it for
one night and they raised about 400K.
And you guys have been active for almost 60 years.
Pretty sure there's tons of
people who'd be willing to participate.
It's not a bad idea.
Ja, like Paul and I could
reach out to our old boxing community.
I could get some local media
involved and some influencers?
Yeah, we could have the prize
be a lifetime membership to the gym?
And, and, a smoothie, named after the winner of the raffle.
That's cute.
Come on, these are good ideas.
I guess we have nothing to lose.
It's not exactly what
I had in mind but Zintle was right.
We don't have a choice.
But before I set up the campaign,
I want to send that woman a message.
Let her know we're not
going down without a fight.
Yeah, we are right on track.
The building is almost finished and the marketing team
will launch the campaign
at the end of this month, Joseph.
That's great to to hear.
You get this right and you'll be looking at a
very, very healthy bonus at the end of the year.
Look Joseph, I'm going
to have to call you back.
I just arrived at the gym
and there's some business
I desperately need to take care of.
You go get 'em, tiger.
You can set the end of
the campaign over there.
Yeah.
And then we can kind of like do paid promotion
so it reaches people in the area.
I like that.
Are you ready to go live?
I think so.
Let's go.
Take that Starz Gym.
Zintle, why are you not picking up your phone?
Call me back when you get this message.
I want to know what that little troll is up to next.
Yeah. Sharp.
Oh, it's so on motherfucker.
We've decided to really throw ourselves into this.
Bianca designed some flyers to market the campaign,
and I got all the staff to hand them out to our members.
We also took Jackson's workout board
and turned it into a campaign tracker
so everyone can see our progress.
You guys ready?
Let's do it.
I think...
I think he's dead.
Did he die?
Yeah no, he died.
Obviously you can't call him.
Hey!
Oh, do you remember Sandy?
Sandy?
Sandy man. She, she married that like,
mercenary from Angola.
From Angola, that's right. Yeah yeah.
I think he's become head of the
Department of Roads or something now.
Yeah.
So Paul and I, we don't really
you know, do the social media thing.
So we had to resort to looking at
photo albums and address books
and filofaxes, you know, old school way.
Let's call her.
What's her number?
There we go.
Cool.
God, we looked good hey, Paul?
So what Daryn doesn't know
is that I haven't always
just been a fitness model.
You know what I mean?
Ja.
Wow.
Shit.
I mean, like I know
by today's standards it's really tame,
but back then, let's just say...
my centerfold was a hit.
Gosh, I had the biggest tits
back then when I gave birth to Daryn.
I got a lot of work at that time, yeah.
I think I breastfed him
for about like two years, you know,
just to keep them that way 'cause they're beautiful.
Hey, maybe that's why we're so close.
What's for breakfast?
This one has pineapple, coconut milk, strawberries,
mint and some hemp protein.
- Yummy.
- Yummy.
You know, on paper,
Jackson and I really shouldn't get along.
He's religious.
I'm spiritual.
He's a bro.
I'm a naturalist.
He's Xhosa.
I'm Afrikaans.
He's a meat eater.
I'm raw vegan with a nut allergy.
Polar opposites.
You are speaking to the manager.
Yes.
Yeah.
Uh huh.
Shame.
Richard's got a bit of a crush on me.
He leaves me
little notes and romantic things.
I've never felt like this before.
She's like the most
incredible women in the world.
Well, this is a bit of a dramatic location to meet.
It's as if you are planning a murder.
That would make me happy.
Anyway, what's happening that side?
Well...
They are broke, but
you already knew that.
And the members are really committed,
so it's going to be hard getting them out.
Do you think they will want to sell?
- I don't know.
- Why
They've just started a
crowdfunding page to try and save the gym
and they're putting it out to all the old members,
so even though it's only
been running for a couple of days
they've raised about 100K
I want you to keep your eyes open
and if there's something
that could compromise them for me
I want to know.
Team, I want you to sign up for
membership at Miller & Sons.
Infiltrate the system, Trojan style,
and when I give the signal...
It's early days, but people are contributing.
What's been really great is that
we're starting to get new members
thanks to the word of mouth.
It's pretty old school but that's
where you get your proper workout.
You know?
Like the kind of members
you'd be proud to say went to your gym.
I think one's a model.
Hey, you.
Hi.
You thirsty?
Yeah, I can drink something.
Thank you.
Cool. Just, don't let Jacques see us.
He makes such shit coffee
but I can't bear to tell him.
Oh, I know of a place where we can go.
Follow me.
This is like when
we used to sneak
by the tuck shop at school
and drink beers, hey?
No, not me.
I was playing first team rugby
so, started drinking in varsity.
Always a good boy.
Pauly, always the good boy.
You think he's okay?
Daza.
It's a lot of pressure hey, and he's not his dad.
He's stronger than you think he is.
I hope so.
How are you doing?
Hmm?
It must be tough coming here.
It is.
His memories everywhere, hey?
Even in here.
You have memories in here?
Ja.
I mean, where else
do you think Bianca was conceived?
- No.
- Yes.
Yeah, Paul's still got it.
Like, I know I'm supposed to be in mourning
but what can I say?
The guy's aged well
and I've seen him in boxing shorts
so I know what he's hiding back there.
Are you in?
Yeah.
Done.
Oh, my God
Holy shit.
What the hell, Jackson...
- Bianca?
- Move out of the fucking way.
What's happening?
I don't know but everyone...
No, no.
Oh my God.
Oh my God, it's coming.
Oh my God, oh my God.
Oh no, no.
I don't care who you are or
what belief systems you have
when a cold brown hits
even the most hardcore of atheist starts to pray.
This place is disgusting.
I'm sorry. It must be one of the animals,
they escaped from the pet section.
Who brings pet rats to gym?
No wonder you are going under.
I'm sorry.
Help.
Please help.
Please help.
I think we need to call an ambulance.
I didn't know a body could bend like that.
He looked like he was
turning into a busted Transformer.
What are you doing here?
Just being a good neighbour.
I mean, I heard some screaming
and I just wanted to
check if everything was okay.
We're fine.
So what hospital are they taking him to?
The one up the road?
Wh... why?
Oh nothing
I thought maybe I should just
pop in and take him some flowers,
with a card for a good lawyer, you know?
I think you should go.
Oh, my pleasure.
You know,
every time I'm here my allergies just
act up, you know.
Must be the asbestos in your ceiling.
We don't have asbestos.
Sure.
I'm not going to lie.
I love watching him squirm.
Shit.
What?
No, no it's nothing.
What is it?
Yeah, you don't... you don't wanna see it.
Show me.
Give me the phone.
Hey come on, give me the phone.
Okay fine but don't say
I didn't warn you. Okay?
Please help!
This is going to ruin the campaign.
Yeah.
Still early days, I guess.
Yeah.
I think just give it some time.
Bianca.
Hi.
Hi.
It's just, it's someone from the news.
What do they want?
I don't know.
Daryn Miller, hello.
I may or may not have
sent an anonymous tip off
to a journalist about a gym rivalry in the area.
The viral video didn't hurt its news value.
And now rounding off today's news
we have a classic David and Goliath
battle playing out right here in
our own backyard between family gym,
Miller & Sons and the
multinational fitness conglomerate Starz Gym.
It also happens to be the gym where
a certain flying runner video
that went viral this week took place in.
Please help!
Joining me is owner of Miller & Sons,
Daryn Miller, thank you so much for your time.
Hi Shahan, I'm very excited to be here.
So tell me more about this runner.
How's he doing?
Michael?
He's okay.
He won't be doing the Comrades
this year, but his doctor did
say that he will be back on the
treadmill by the start of next year.
He's been with the gym for 15 years.
He's a regular at Miller & Sons.
Well, that's great to hear.
Now, tell me what's
happening down there in Randburg?
Well, we've been in the area for 60 years.
The gym was opened by my grandfather
and a few weeks ago we
woke up to a really nasty surprise
when we found out that the Starz
franchise were planning on opening
a branch right across the road from us.
But surely these two gyms can co-exist?
You cater to different people.
That's what I thought
but when I went over
to try and be a good neighbour,
the new owner, she...
she said...
She said she's going
to destroy our shitty little gym.
That is intense, but let me just
remind you that it's a family show
we have to be careful with our language.
Sorry.
But our producers are telling me
about a signage issue between the two.
What's happening there?
Oh that.
Well, they decided to put a big sign
outside our entrance to take a dig at us.
So we did the same,
put a sign outside theirs.
I figured that if we can't get along and
be good neighbours, at least we can be
good enemies and fight fire with fire.
You go my boytjie.
I know Michelle Obama says
that when they go low, you go high.
But I'm of the opinion that when
somebody steps on you when you're down,
it's the perfect opportunity to trip them up.
Well, bold move but where does this all go then, Daryn?
I'm not going to sit here and lie to you.
We are struggling
and if we don't bring in
some cash by the end of December,
we're going to have to
close our doors after 60 years.
That's why we set up the crowdfunding
page with some really cool prizes...
I'm just hoping that,
people see our value and they not
seduced by flashy, corporate branding.
Yeah.
Well, that's great words.
I know it can't be easy doing what you're doing.
We are rooting for you.
Thank you.
Well, we invited Starz Gym to comment,
but they refused our invitation.
We've also included the link to
Miller & Sons crowdfunding page below.
So if you're someone like me, who
believes in supporting local business,
why not send some cash their way.
That's it for me, Shahan Ramkissoon for today.
You're watching ENCA.
You killed it! Right in the
jugular man. Yes!
My man! I didn't know you had it in you.
Dude! Your interview has gone viral.
You have over 200000 views online.
What?
Just look at your funding page.
R450 000.
I wonder what my dad
would've thought about all of this.
We almost there, little guy.
He was like the coolest guy ever.
Way cooler than I could ever be.
When we were kids, Bianca used to tell me
that I was adopted and
that my dad worked for the Post Ofiice.
I believed her for a bit
until my daddy showed me
one day that I had his eyes.
Two more, two more, two more.
Push, push, push.
One more.
Yes. 20 mins on the bike.
There he is.
R5,000 away from our goal.
What a legend.
You're the legend.
I wanted to know
if I could ask your advice,
in the lady department.
Anytime, Daryn. Listen here boet.
You're gonna have to walk with me.
I gotta get ready for church.
What's on your mind, brother?
There's this girl that I like.
Respect.
How long you guys been together?
That's the thing, right. She doesn't know.
Still early days.
Problem is I freeze
every time we have a 'moment'.
Shit, stage fright.
What do I do?
I like her.
Got to make that change, brother.
What would you do?
Ever since I got saved,
I've just devoted my entire energy to
serving God and being celibate.
Okay.
It's the best thing I've ever done.
I even had my virginity restored.
Yeah.
Our pastor was teaching on sexual purity
and told us that God makes all things brand new.
There was this girl from America.
She had been banging like every guy in town.
When she was saved,
she asked God to restore her virginity
and her 'seal' grew back.
Wow.
It's... It's excellent.
So I figured...
I figured if He could do it
for her, He could do it for me.
So I asked the pastor to
pray for me and it worked.
I know it is difficult to tell
since I am a man and all but
I know it works, I can feel it.
Before I was a virgin,
I was having so much sex.
We're not at the sex part yet.
I know what to do...
when we get there.
I'm struggling with the whole
letting her know I like her, part of it all.
Okay, okay.
Do you know...
girls really fall for me because
of my sense of humor and intellect.
So I always try and put
it in the foreground.
Ladies love a funny guy.
Yeah, yeah exactly, you are a funny guy.
Just make sure
you have some jokes lined up
and make sure
they come across quite natural.
You know what I'm saying?
You know what?
If you have a connection with someone,
you don't have to win them over.
They'll like you for you.
And remember
you can do all things through
Christ who gives you strength.
All things.
Uh-huh
Hmmm.
Ja.
No problem, I'll call you right back.
Shame.
Um, my brother isn't
exactly the coolest on earth,
and when he falls for someone,
it can be a bit uncomfortable to watch.
Like when I see a couple, my first
thought is to imagine them having sex.
But with Daryn, I don't know.
I imagine it would be more like someone
doing Cross Fit while watching The Notebook.
Like lots of sweat and crying.
This one is my favourite.
Fresh blueberries, banana, almond milk,
peanut butter and...
chia seeds.
Enjoy.
Oh, oh.
May I?
Let me help you there.
Tell me has anyone ever milked your prostate?
The campaign, it's going really well
and what makes it even better
is that it's all happening around Christmas.
It's my favorite holiday.
We deck the gym
in bright colours to brighten up your workout.
A snow machine to make it feel like it's winter.
And a Christmas tree.
A real Christmas tree, not a plastic one.
And best of all on the 24th,
I dress up like Father Christmas
and you can come and sit on my lap
and tell me whether you've been naughty or nice.
I can already hear Boney M playing in my dreams.
Christmas is about the birth of a saviour.
Not this rubbish.
We should all be in church
thanking God for the birth of His son.
But instead we're waiting for some
fat guy to slide down the chimney to give us gifts.
It's a mess.
So, Daryn's put me in charge of this
Secret Santa thing we're doing.
A gift can't be more than a hundred rand,
and I get to choose
who's paired with each other.
I like to mess with things
so I take one or two names out.
Merry Christmas
Ah, this is for...
This is last year, it was Daryn.
R250 bucks away, guys.
We're 250 bucks away.
Come on 250.
Yes! We did it, we did it!
Congratulations.
Well done, man. Well done.
Daryn.
Guys, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.
I just want to take this moment to thank...
each and every one of you
for all your support during...
the campaign.
I couldn't have done it without you.
And God.
Your dad would be so proud.
No, we're chilled, we're chilled.
We're fine, we're fine.
Na-uh Funi, I am not doing it.
This is not a request.
Why don't you ask one of your trainers?
They're already in the gym?
You think I'm going to trust
those pay-as-you-go bodyguards
with something as important as this?
I want it to be you.
And what if I get caught?
Then make sure you don't get caught.
Why are you like this?
Somebody has to be.
It's enough to get him a fine,
but not enough for him to sleep in jail.
If he sleeps in jail it will
only be for a weekend and that is it.
Okay?
Just remember, Zintle
everything I do, I do for you.
And only you.
Think about your yoga studio.
You are looking ashy there.
You should change your lotion, sis.
Something inside me has changed.
I feel like a new man.
I think I was stuck in a
bit of a rut before this whole campaign,
but it showed me that if
I put my mind to something, I can do it.
My dad used to tell me that if I wanted to
I could be as big as he was.
All I needed to do was to
put down the fatcake and work out.
So that's what I'm going to do.
I even dusted off one of
his old protein shake recipes
he showed me when I was a boy.
I don't really like the raw eggs but
if it worked for Rocky, it must be good.
I might even ask Zintle out on a date.
Can't really afford to take her to the movies but,
I can take her on a picnic.
Hi Zintle, are you looking for me?
Ja, I was also just tying my shoelace.
I wanted to find out if it's okay
for me to work half day on Thursday,
I've got a family thing in the afternoon.
Hundred percent.
You can take the whole day if you like.
Thank you
but that won't be necessary.
The morning class is picking up really
nicely and I don't want to lose momentum.
That's awesome.
If you're not doing anything on Friday,
I wanted to know
if I could take you out to dinner?
That's only if you're not doing anything.
Ja. Ja.
Sounds good.
Awesome.
I'll pick you up at 7.
Cool.
See you at 7.
Jaun.
Hi.
It's... it's been a while.
You know me, still trying to rock the world.
Yeah.
Listen, I know how super busy you are but
I was wondering if
you could make some time for me?
Back in the day,
I used to hook up with a guy who now
works for the police department.
He was a waiter and I just
started out as a trainer.
God, that man used to toss my salad
like he was auditioning for Master Chef.
There's this gym across the road and
they're up to some dodgy shit.
Steroids, maybe more.
And I was wondering if you could
swing past and clean things up for me?
No, no, no. Not now.
Wait until Christmas Eve so he can spend
the holiday in jail.
Yeah.
Oh, and what would you get in return?
Well. She said yes.
I was shaking but she said yes.
It's basically a Christmas miracle.
I'm just going to have
to do what Jackson said.
Put my best foot forward.
Hopefully that will be enough.
I'm obviously not going
in there to pressure her into anything
You probably never tell
this by looking at me but...
I'm a virgin.
I almost lost it once on the cruise ships.
Beautiful woman named Andrea.
She stayed with me
in my room and told me
she was waiting for the
perfect moment for the two of us to make love.
Anyway, it turns out she
was a stowaway from Tunisia and
we dropped her off in Greece.
You look so handsome, my Daz.
Thanks, Mommy.
Now listen, you make sure
you take all the time you need.
You hear me?
I hear you.
And here're the keys for Bliksem.
Thank you, Uncle Paul.
I promise I won't speed.
Oh no no. His speeding days are long gone.
You'll be lucky if he goes over 60.
Thank you.
Oh wait, wait, Daz. I almost forgot.
So your father won this the night we...
on the night that we met and...
Maybe it will bring you luck.
It sure brought him some.
Thanks, Mommy.
Goodbye.
Bye.
Just look at him.
He's so cute.
Loved Christmas.
Loved wearing a Speedo.
I hated that Speedo.
Loved eating fruit
but fruit did not love him, still.
Not a good idea, he gets the squirts.
You know, the thing about Daz though
is that he didn't want to come out of my womb.
Like he just didn't want to.
It was three weeks after due date,
and the doc said "that is it, enough is enough"
and he went in to evict the boytjie.
And then ja,
Daz came out with a
full head of hair and about three teeth.
His sister on the other hand,
Bianca, she couldn't wait to get out, hey.
She just tore my vajayjay right in half.
But he'll always be my little Daz.
My little guy.
God, I hope he's got rid of that Speedo.
Love you.
You did good with that kid.
Ja.
He's my precious boy.
Pauly?
How are you going to get home now?
Come to think of it,
I haven't even thought about that.
Maybe you could give me a ride?
Ja, I think that can be arranged.
Can I get you some wine?
Yeah.
Cheers.
Cheers.
It stings, it got a bit...
I like the burn going down.
It's nice.
So...
I just wanted to say
thank you for believing in me.
I have never had anybody
like you in my life before.
It was really nothing.
Wow.
I think I love you.
Daryn, I'm not sure if I misled you, but
this...
doesn't feel right.
No, you're right
It's the wine.
It's the wine.
Should we just call it a night?
Sure.
Ja.
Can't believe I misread the signals.
I was pretty sure we had a vibe.
It was probably the wine.
Probably shouldn't have that much fizz.
Ja, last time was fine.
We had a few drinks, huh?
And...
and then, um...
and then we had a good night kiss.
Stop it, Pauly.
Shut up.
Morning.
Hi.
Sorry.
- So sorry
- It's okay. I got it, I got...
Let me help you.
Sorry.
It's okay, thank you.
I'm trying not to make things awkward
between Zintle and myself at work.
It's been difficult.
I can't stop thinking about that kiss.
I even got her a bracelet.
From the jewelry section
at the Bruma Flea Market.
I guess I have to take it back now.
But it is the day before Christmas,
so I get to have some fun.
Okay.
Oh alright, alright, alright.
Here we go.
Uncle Daryn's very scary.
Yes he is. I know, very ugly.
Here we go mommy.
Alright, everyone.
It's time for the Miller & Sons Secret Santa.
All right.
Mom, this is from Paul.
Cool.
Oh, I...
I love it.
Ah, it's nothing.
It's just a few tunes from
the radio that I made for you.
I spent the whole weekend sitting by
the radio, trying to make that thing.
I love it.
Jacques, this is from TD Jakes over there.
It's about a bodybuilder who got
saved and built a church in Florida.
It ministered to me.
Thank you.
Jackson, it's from Jacques.
Wow.
It's one of those things that
makes your forearms stronger.
I love it.
Bless you.
Right, my turn.
What's that about?
I don't know.
Hi, officers. Welcome to Miller & Sons gym.
Merry Christmas.
Are you the owner of this establishment?
I am, yes.
Daryn JNR.
How can I help you?
We have a warrant to search the premises.
I'm going to need you
to remain where you are
while my partner takes a look around.
Sure wha...
what are you looking for?
That doesn't matter.
Go to the office and work your way back.
What did you do?
Why would you ask me something like that?
Because we have
officers searching our premises
and I remember what you did in high school.
Okay.
I got arrested once in
grade eight for shoplifting
and now I'm the fucking
Winona of the family.
Found it.
What's that?
Daryn Miller
I am arresting you for the
possession of illegal substances.
There has to be a mistake.
I haven't even smoked a cigarette my life.
Why don't you do us a
favor and just turn around?
No, not until you tell me what's inside.
Stay right there.
Darren, calm down.
Mom don't touch him, don't touch him.
Why?
Look away.
Fuck...
I hate it when they piss themselves.
You fuck with me.
I burn your house down.
With your kids inside.
We're going to need a mop.
I've never been so humiliated in my life.
And worst of all it happened over Christmas Eve
so I had to spend the whole holiday in jail.
Luckily I had met
Chappie to keep me company.
Like me he was framed for dealing and...
murder.
Anyway, we exchanged numbers
for when he gets out, we can keep in contact.
I've been released.
They gave me a pretty big fine.
Like all the money we
raised for the gym, kind of big.
And a bit more.
I feel horrible.
Things were really not
supposed to get this bad.
And now I think I fucked
things up with Daryn.
Hi, Daryn.
It's me.
I'm just checking in on you
after everything that happened.
Let me know.
Maybe I can come around.
I can bring a pizza.
We could just hang out and
just not think about everything.
Is everything okay?
I don't know.
You tell me.
I can explain.
There is no need to.
Please, Daryn.
I can't believe I trusted you.
Daryn, please.
I'm... I'm so sorry.
I'm going to have to ask you to go.
Daryn, please.
I think maybe if we just
sit down and have a conver...
Please go.
You and your sister
got what you came for.
Zintle, please go.
Go!
I think I am going to give Funi a call.
See if her offer's still on the table.
Funeka hello.
And you can fuck right off
if you're a telemarketer.
It's Daryn.
Oh.
I'm calling to find out if
I can still take you up on your offer.
Are you serious?
I am.
That is great to hear.
I'll send you an offer to purchase
first thing tomorrow morning.
Thank you.
Oooooooo mama.
I have to be out by the end of the week.
So I'll just...
maybe I'll see if I can get my
old job back on the cruise ships.
I'm just going to take a
few days to...
catch my breath.
I can have everything out by
the end of the week for you.
Now that it's done I feel
a bit sorry for the guy.
He put up more of a fight
than I thought he would.
If you want,
we're looking for managers
and I could put in a good word for you at HQ.
I wouldn't work for you
if my life depended on it.
Suit yourself.
I just want to thank you all for
for everything that
you've brought to this place.
My favourite...
My favourite part of coming to work was
getting to see you all.
I wish...
I wish I could have done more
to save the gym.
I wish I...
I wish I had what it took.
I'm gonna miss you.
It's okay, man.
We'll still see each other.
I'll even come to church with you
Eew, no.
This isn't Bishops.
You did good, my boy.
What I didn't tell you is that
David doesn't always beat Goliath.
But what counts, what counts
is that you threw the stone.
Thank you, Uncle Paul.
Richard.
Poor kid.
I really thought it
would work out for him.
Ja.
I just hope he doesn't have to
go back to working on that ship.
I mean when a mom's got a dream
about what their
boy's going to turn out to be,
Tickey the clown's not on top of the list.
What do you want?
Hey, we need to talk.
I have an idea that could save the gym.
One thing that Funi didn't realise
is that by asking me
to plant those steroids,
she was making herself vulnerable.
Vulnerable to me.
Goodbyes are very hard for me.
I don't know why but they
always get me feeling very...
heavy inside.
I think it's because I never got to
say goodbye to my dad before he...
before he passed.
He was already very sick
when I got offered the job, but
he was the one who
told me follow my dreams
and take it.
He said "I'll be fine, my boy."
"You get on that ship
and make people smile."
I'm going to miss you.
"I'll be here waiting
for you when you get back."
I think that's why it hurts so much.
It's like he's still here...
in every weight...
and in every piece of equipment.
It sounds stupid but
I thought that if I could save the gym,
maybe I could keep a
part of him here with me.
That way I would never have to say goodbye.
Happy New Year, Daryn.
Happy New Year, everybody.
But not you.
You mother fucker.
Fuck you.
Fuck you.
Fuck you, Funi.
You poes.
Daddy.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I lost everything
that you and Oupa worked for.
Daddy, it is gone.
All gone.
Are you finished with your tantrum now?
No.
I haven't.
Why are you here?
What do you want?
You're going to give Darren back
the money he paid for the fine.
I'm not crazy.
In what world would that be a possibility?
One where I turned myself in...
and I tell the police and your bosses
that it was us that planted the drugs.
You wouldn't.
Try me.
Fuck.
Daryn, open the door.
Daryn.
Daryn.
Daryn.
Daryn.
Why aren't you answering your phone?
What do you want?
We've got something to show you boss.
I asked you not to call me that anymore.
What do you want?
I don't want to talk to the two of you.
Daryn, please just hear me out, okay.
It was me.
I'm...
I'm the one that planted
the roids in your office.
Only because Funi forced me to.
Oh, telling me that
makes you feel better.
No, it doesn't,
but this is why I'm here.
I told Funi that if she
doesn't want me to tell the police
and her bosses at Starz, then she's
going to have to pay you
back the money you were fined,
out of her own pocket.
What are you trying to say?
I'm trying to say that
you don't have to sell the gym, Daryn.
You can keep it.
And you, why are you here?
This is just being a good neighbour.
I'll make sure your money hits
your bank account
first thing tomorrow morning.
And your gym,
are you still opening tomorrow?
Yes!
Somehow I don't think the
people that walk into this gym
would be a good fit for the Starz brand.
So I don't see us being
competition to each other.
Fine.
But I want interest, 15% on the top.
To being good neighbours.
To being good neighbours.
That's enough of that.
Okay. So I'll leave you all to it.
I do have a gym to open up tomorrow.
Congratulations!
Well done by the way, Daryn.
15% interest, good for you.
We did it.
Yeah, but you do stink
and you need to change shirts.
This does look good though.
Zintle!
I'm really sorry.
You probably don't
want to talk to me anymore
because I messed up so badly.
I just want to say I'm sorry.
Thank you.
I probably should have brushed my teeth.
Yeah, you probably should have.
Okay.
I have a gym to open up.
Yes!
Go, Daza!
Hi.
Howzit.
Hi, welcome.
I think it's safe to say
that everything turned out for the best
and the resolution crowd didn't disappoint at all.
And Starz Gym had their
big opening the other day and
Daryn and I went over to support Fu.
I think there is something
happening between her and Jacques.
No man!
Don't be weird.
He's like a hundred percent not her type.
Ma and Uncle Paul
seem to have hit it off as well.
I didn't see that one coming.
I'm not complaining.
Do you think I have to
start calling him Daddy?
So Jackson has also gone off to
North Africa somewhere
on a mission with his church.
When Jesus says men
should not live on bread alone
I truly believe he was
embracing a low carb diet.
So that means no bread, no rice, no pap.
Just healthy fats and proteins.
Amen.
And Bianca decided she wants
to be a part of the film industry.
Which is pretty perfect
because Richard did the same.
The two of them have their films up on
some popular website called OnlyFans.
I keep asking her to show them to me,
but she won't send me a link.
Okay, push in when I get the carrots out.
Fuck, yeah.
Can I tell them?
It finally happened.
It.
We did it.
We had sex.
Oh, fuck!
Oh, God.
Oh, fuck it.