Crackerjack 3 (2000) - full transcript

A group of retired spies once former enemies, are forced to work together in an attempt to retrieve a neutron bomb stolen by a group of new-wave, high-tech operatives who have supplanted them in the post-Cold War intelligence game.

(dramatic music)

- So, you been doing this long?

- Moving the big bombs around?

- Yeah.

- Ever since we won the war.

- The Gulf War?

- The Cold War you idiot.

- I never heard of that one.

- Well, most have
been before your time.

How old are you anyway, son?


- 19 next Wednesday.

- Jesus wept.

They're sending these
babies as backup.

(dramatic music)

- [Soldier] Agents in position.

- Roger that, Command One.

- Huh?

- Oh, Command One.

New band.

Not your style.

(dramatic music)

So, you ever have any
problems on these trucks?

- Nah, take a landmine
to stop this baby.

- That's what we figured.

(dramatic music)

(explosion booming)

- [Soldier] Red alert
you're surrounded.

- God.

- Coming right up.

(gun firing)

(guns firing)
(dramatic music)

- [Man] Come on.

(dramatic music)

(gun firing)

(dramatic music)

Two men over here.

(dramatic music)

(bright music)

- Did you pack my
personal stuff yet?

- Most of it's
already in the car.

- Excellent.

What about my tickets?

- All taken care of.

- I don't know what I
would've done without you.

- Gotten fired.

- Probably.

Bit late for that now though.

I like being retired.

Kel, did I ever tell you

that you're one hell
of an assistant?

- Assistant, huh?

Best intelligence
analyst you'll ever see.

(hand knocking)

- Come in.

- Hi, Jack.

I'm glad I caught you.

I thought you might
be gone already.

Just wanted to wish
you a fond farewell.

- I bet you did.

I'll be out of here
before you know it.

- No, take your time.

Just came to give
Kelly her schedule

for the economy conference.



- No.


Navy Seals.

- Well.

Anything before the Gulf War
is ancient history, Jack.

The world has changed.

May I?

- Sure, help yourself.

- Thank you.

You know that nine
out of 10 kids

couldn't even show
you Vietnam on the map

and Korea is a place
that can't even afford

to make knockoff Nike's anymore.

It's time to step down.

Smell the roses.

Go fishing, Jack.

- And that's exactly
what I intend to do.

Go fishing.

So it's an out with the old,

in with the new
kind of thing is it?

- Yeah, something like that.

See, no more of this
organization of governments

and training counter
revolutionaries in lost causes.

We are the new wave.

- And exactly what
kind of wave is that?

- It's money management, Jack.

You know the kind of thing that
you could never figure out.

(soft music)

Nationalism is out.

Colorization is in.


- We'll see you, Marcus.

Absolutely amazing.

- I can't believe they sent
us a Canadian money manager

to run this place.

- That man is a very
interesting combination

of the human failure.

Has he given you your
new assignment yet?

- He assigned me to the G7
economic conference in Germany.

Data analysis.


- Well it might be boring,

but at least you get
to do some traveling.

- He's phasing out
covert action altogether.

He calls it
corporate downsizing.

He says he can get
more intelligence

from the stock market than he
can from 100 guys like you.

Not to mention the fact
that he doesn't trust me.

Thinks I've been infected by
working with you for too long.

- Have you been infected?

- I've got a serious case
of the Jack Thorn virus.

I may never get over it.

- You know, it's been an
interesting day for me.

Clay calls me a
dinosaur and you tell me

that I have an
infectious disease.

- So take two aspirin and you
can call me in the morning.

- What's this?

- It's the latest in
cell phone technology.

- Oh my god.

You know, I couldn't
figure out how

to work this thing
in a million years.

I appreciate the thought.

Thank you.

- Well, it comes with
an instruction book.

- I certainly hope so.

(phone ringing)

Now that phone I
know how to work.

(phone ringing)

Jack Thorn.

- Jack.

Is that you, Jack?

- Pierre, you old frog.

I thought you had died already.

Are you still tracking
down Algerian terrorists?

Are you okay?

- I'm well (speaks
in foreign language).

A little tired from
my workout perhaps.

- What are you doing up in
the middle of the night?

It must be like
midnight in Paris.

- I thought I would call

and congratulate you
on your retirement.

I've never regretted my own.

Believe me (speaks
in foreign language).

Plenty of time for the
finer things in life.

- Oh.

And what color hair does
your latest finer thing have?

- Put it back in the
safe for me, would you?

- [Woman] Sure.

- You are a wicked man

for thinking such a
thing, Jack Thorn.

Enjoy your new
freedom, old friend.

Treasure every moment
as though it was going

to be your last.

Just as I do.

(speaks in foreign
language) Jack.

(speaking in foreign language)

(bright music)

(speaking in foreign language)

- Next week.

- Of course.

- Nice man.

Terrible cook.

(bright music)

(speaking in foreign language)
(bright music)

(explosion booming)

(sirens wailing)

- We've got a problem.

- What kind of problem?

- You don't work here anymore.

- That might be but he
still has clearance.

What's the problem?

- Well someone hijack an X47J2P.

Been shipped to the Richmond
arsenal in Virginia.

- An X what?

- A neutron bomb.


- Wow.


- Eight, maybe 10 hours ago.

They missed two check ins.

We found them 10 minutes ago.

- Any survivors, witnesses?

- Those convoys are supposed
to take the back roads,

so no one saw anything.

- Okay, here's what
we're going to do.

Organize a command post.

Contact the Pentagon.

- Go fishing, Jack.

We don't need you here.

- [Kelly] He just wants to help.

- Well he can help if he can
get the hell out of here,

so we can finish our job.

- No one hijacks a neutron bomb

without help from the inside.

So start your investigation
closer to home.

- [Kelly] I'll remember that.

- I think we can do
without your input, Jack.

(soft music)

I'm the one running
this section.

Not you.

- Marcus.

This is not an
issue of your ego.

This is a matter of
national security.

- And it's for me to
handle it, not you.

(soft music)

- [Jack] Maybe.

- What's that supposed to mean?

- Maybe I'll do a little bit
of investigating on my own.

- While you do that, I
would get you arrested

before you can cash your
first pension check.

- Oh boy.

- He's right, Jack.

Just leave it to us.

- How 'bout you listen to her?

She's giving you good advice.

Safe advice.

- Take care.

Keep in touch, huh.

- I'll do just that.

I'll see you, Kelly.

* There ain't gonna
be no worries *

* I'm living the life of ease

* 'Cause me and my boat
and the fish on pole *

- Hey fish.

Here I come.

* The sun is up and
the birds are singing *

* I feel a gentle breeze

* 'Cause I've got all
the time in the world *

* To do whatever I please

- Yeah.

Okay, thanks.

Lapin is dead.

His girlfriend just called.

Someone blew him to pieces.

- Jack was just talking
to him yesterday.

- Is that so?

Quite a coincidence if I
believe in coincidences.

- What's that supposed to mean?

- There is no record
of Jack's whereabouts

during the time when
the weapon was hijacked,

and I checked the logs
and it says personal day.

- You don't believe Jack
was involved, do you?

- I just believe in
facts, Miss Jones,

and Jack said it
himself you should start

the investigation close to home.

- Are you trying to tell
me that Jack is a trader?

- I thought you might be
interested in a piece of news.

One of the bodies we found

at the hijack site
was Simon Bartlett.

The name ring a bell?

- He was a friend of Jack's.

Went into private
security after he took

early retirement from MI5.

- A north wig is found
at the hijack site

five minutes after Jack
talked to another old friend.

The man is blown to pieces.

And today the French
Intelligence calls to tell me

that they found the
minutes of a meeting

in Lapin safe concerning
the hijacking.

Come on, Kelly.

This is MI5.


East Germans Nazi.

The Mossad and even the Cubans.

And now Jack.

(soft music)

No coincidence anymore.

I'm telling you
Jack is involved.

- I don't believe it
and why all the bodies?

- I don't know.

Cold War score's been settled.

Who knows?

Whatever the case
it would appear

that Jack was trying
to pad his pension

with a little
larceny while angling

to sell the bomb to
the highest bidder.

Who knows?

- That's crazy.

- You know it is crazy to think
he could get away with it.

(soft music)

Now, where is he?

(soft music)

- Vermont.

I don't know the exact location.

- Vermont.

I'll find him.

(bright music)

- No.

(bright music)


* There ain't gonna
be no worries *

- It's my first one today.

* Just me and my boat
and my fish on pole *

* Doing whatever I please

* The sun is up and
the birds are singing *

* I feel a gentle breeze

* 'Cause I've got all
the time in the world *

* To do whatever I please

* Ain't nobody bugging me

* I ain't got no bills to pay

* There ain't nothing
else I have to do *

* But hey, I got all day

* There ain't gonna
be no worries *

* I'm living a life of ease

* Just me and my boat
and my fish on pole *

* Doing whatever I please

(phone ringing)

- [Woman] You have not
entered the number properly.

Please hang up and dial again.

(bright music)

- How can I dial?

There is no dial.

(bright music)

- Come on, Jack.

- [Woman] If you would
like to send a fax,

press the pound key.

If you would like to send
email, press the star key.

If you would like to consult
our online directory,

press the star and
pound keys together.

(bright music)

* There ain't gonna
be no worries *

* I'm living a life of ease

* Just me and my boat
and a fish on pole *

* Doing whatever I please

- [Woman] The telephone
customer you are trying

to reach is presently

- Damn.

* Doing whatever I please

- Evening, sir.

- Thorn could be a
problem, Griswald.

- [Griswald] Yes, sir.

- Solve it for me.

- [Griswald] Of course, sir.

(soft music)

- [Kelly] Good thing I
found you before Clay did.

(soft music)

- [Marcus] Hans?

- [Hans] Yeah.

- [Marcus] Sergei.

- [Sergei] Yeah.

- [Marcus] Percival.

- [Percival] As requested.

- [Marcus] Maurice.

- [Maurice] Me.

- [Marcus] Good,
so we are all here.

Well, I'm happy to report
that we have achieved

our predicted goals with
respect to the situation

we discussed at our
previous meeting.

- I take it there will be no
disruption to ark of the plan

and our receivables
will remain integral.

- There might be some
last minute adjustments

in terms of the optimal
person terminations

of the senior element but
nothing we can't handle.

- You have reached a provisional
assessment presumably.

- [Marcus] Yes, we have.

Flow indicators gave
us a yes no equation

in the area of 93% in our favor.

We quantify the
device parameters.

It will shift deniability
to the retro grouping

of senior personnel
as we agreed.

Growth rates are promising.

- Clay, can you be a
little more specific?

- When the bomb goes off,
the market will fall.

- Yeah.

- [Marcus] If we sell short on

all currencies
immediately beforehand,

then that fiscal position
should be showing positive

with no exposure to us at all.

- So, this means we get
to keep our job, yes?

- Yes, but mostly it
means that we get rich

and the old guys get the blame.

- And Thorn?

- He's as good as dead.

(bright music)

- Here fishy, fishy, fishy.

Here fishy.

(bright music)

Here fishy, fishy.

(gun firing)

(dramatic music)

- You're slipping, Jack.

- Really?

(man groaning)
(dramatic music)

- What are you thinking?

- Huh?

- What are you thinking about?

- Oh.

Pierre Lapin and Simon Bartlett.

It doesn't make any sense

that someone would
have them murdered.

They were retired.

Out of the game.

Just like me.

- Well, Clay's making a
case that it all ties in

with the theft of
the X47 neutron bomb

with you as the mastermind.

- Me?

- Look, there's some
evidence from Lapin's safe

that you and half the
people you ever worked with

or against are part
of the conspiracy.

Presumably you and your
friends have had some kind

of falling out and you're
now killing each other off.

- Well we know that's bullshit.

I wonder what the
hell Clay is up to.

- Ask him.

- I think I will.

But first I'm gonna call
in a couple of favors.

(bright music)

- [Operator] Operator.

- Patch me through to Miami.

(bright music)

(dramatic music)

- Honey, I'm home.

(bright music)

Ambush by a bunch of
retired old farts.

I'm ashamed of myself.

- [Kurt] Stand down.

- It's time for your
pill, old kraut.

- Hey, gained a bit of
weight I see, Ricky.

- Watch yourself, Benny.

- I thought everyone in Cuba
was a Fidel giant these days.

- Eh?

No food yesterday.

No food tomorrow.

No food today.

Used to be called
the Moscow diet.

- It's good to see you.

- See much of your
grandchildren, Ricky?

- Well as much as I like.

They keep stealing my boat
and try to take it to Key West

and I keep bringing them back.

I tell them wait.

Fidel won't live forever
but they're not patient.

- The same with mine.

No patience.

- For my friends.

From Fidel's private supply.

Rolled on the thighs
of young virgins.

Politically incorrect.

I know.

- Oh.

- Jack.

- Good to see you again.

- It's good to see
you, my friend.

- It's been awhile.

- Sooner than more often.

- So.

We need to talk.

About him.

(bright music)

- Who is he?

One of ours?

- No.

One of ours.

(bright music)

- [Yuri] What exactly
is going on, Jack?

At a time it is one thing
but this is ridiculous.

Lapin, Bartlett.

They're swatting us like ants.

- [Benny] Flies, Yuri.

- [Yuri] Flies.

I do not like the
thought of ending up

as a bug on the bottom
of someone's shoe.

This friend of yours, Jack.

You say she's on our side?

- You bet she is.

- [Ricky] Where?

- She's at Langley
keeping an eye on things.

- According to her, Clay and
his friends are setting you up

as a mastermind but
a mastermind of what?

- I don't know.

Maybe it's time to play
truth or consequences.

Did that hurt?


That's nothing compared to
the pain you're gonna feel

unless you tell me
everything I wanna know

about what your boss is up to.

- Screw you, Thorn.

- Really?


- I took a course in this.

You're not gonna get
anything out of me.

- Excellent.

- He's resisting.

- You were raised old
fashioned that way.

It's the KGB training.

Give him a rubber hose,
some brass knuckles,

and he's a happy,
little commissar.

- Hold off, boys.

Maybe I should talk to him.

Make him understand.

Give him a chance.

- What is this, one of your
stupid American talk shows?

You don't chat with
people like this.

You use pliers on them.

- You can't torture me.

This is the United
States of America.

We have a Bill of Rights.

- You also have Home Depot.

They got good
pliers there, Yuri.

Very cheap.

- Griswald.

I would listen to my
friends if I were you.

They mean business
and they did not sign

the amnesty
international agreement.

- You can't do this
to me anyway, Thorn.

- [James] Is that right?

- No civilized nation can
condone an act of violence

against its own citizen by
agents from a foreign power.

- Is that so, Jack?

- Yes.

Especially bodily harm.

So excruciatingly painful
physically as well as mentally

as to render the subject into a.

Give me a word here.

- [Yuri] Turnip.

- Good.

- Imbecile.

- Very good.

- [Kurt] Babbling idiot.

- That too.

- Guacamole.

- Excellent.

All of that.

- Screw you, Thorn.

- No.

Screw you, Griswald.

You can have him, boys.

I'm going fishing.

- It's night, Jack.

- So?

I'll go night fishing.

- Thorn, you can't just leave
me here with these idiots.

- Is that right?

Watch me.

- Thorn.

- Spill the beans now
and save yourself a ride

on von Brunner's
chemical rollercoaster.

And with those East
Germans Nazi types,

you never know where
the needle's been.

- Sodium betanaphthol?

- Arginine and nitric acid.

It will set his veins on fire

and give him such hallucinations

that they'll make
him think he has got

a million scorpions
under his skin.

- I can take anything
you guys can dish out.

- I've got some very
nice scopolamine

from a Mossad pharmacy.

Turn you into a parrot
in about 30 seconds.

- To hell with you
nursing home scumbags.

- That was a poor choice
of words, Mr. Griswald.

I got a cure for a
shit mouth like you.

- One of ours?

- A Bulgarian knockoff.

- Chemistry.

Boy scouts stuff.

- I didn't know you
were a boy scout.

- Well, young pioneer actually.

The Lenin batch.

- Senior Lenin batch.

- I thought you only got
to senior Lenin batch

if you turned in your parents.

- I did no such thing.

- No?

- As usual you got
your facts wrong.

- Oh yes.

You didn't turn in your parents.

You turned in your
wife's parents.

And then he turned
in his wife (laughs).

- Get on with it.

So, who goes first?

- After you.

- Maybe it should be, Ricky.

Let the ugly one go first.

- In your dreams, Benny.

- I'll sue.

- I know what.

We are in the United States
of America, aren't we?

A democracy.

- So?

- Why don't we do it together?

All for one.

- [All] One for all.

- No.

- I just had
confirmation, people.

It seem that we have a weak
link in our little chain.

Someone who has forgotten

where his or her
allegiance lies.

Someone who is playing
with my patience.

Someone who illegally
used $852.53 worth

of her own shrinking budget
to use the satellite up link

for his or her own purposes.

To scan for a location.

A location in Vermont.

You would not know anything
about that, would you, Kelly?

- Of course.

I'm an intelligence
analyst, remember?

I looked for Jack Thorn.

You are looking for
him, aren't you?

I did the right thing,
didn't I, Mr. Clay?

- Should have asked first.

- I'll remember that next time.

If you'll excuse me, I
have to take some files

down to the archives.

(soft music)

- I want her watched 24 seven.

Please, someone find Griswald.

(soft music)

- But it wasn't my fault.

She loved me.

She loved me.

She loved me like I was her
own son, but I wasn't her son.

I didn't even know her.

I didn't even know her.

I didn't wanna know her.

- This isn't
getting us anywhere.

- But I went to the doctor
and the doctor told me

that I was okay so I
decided to just join up

and everybody said
that would be great.

- It's time to end
this foolishness.

- We can't kill him yet, Yuri.

- Chemistry.

Waste of time.

- You have a better idea?

- You're betting your life.

- Don't.



(bright music)

- Time to make a few
phone calls, huh.

(bright music)

Dial 1-800.

I talk fast.

(bright music)

- [Griswald] All the
love that I ever had

was found in the valley.

- Where you going to
attach them to, huh Yuri?

- Can I go home now?

(bright music)

- Kind of crude,
don't you think?

(gentle music)

(man screaming)

(gentle music)

- [Woman] These are the initial

satellite images we picked up.

(dramatic music)

We put a GPS transponder
on her vehicle

just as you requested.

(dramatic music)

The plate is hers.

We checked.

(dramatic music)

- Is she still in the building?

- [Woman] Yes, I think so.

- Good.

Good, that will give
you a lot of time

to get everything in place.

Bug everything.

I want to hear that bitch
brushing her teeth at night.

Don't forget her cell phone.

- [Woman] Yes, sir.

(dramatic music)

- Hook, line, and
sinker, Mr. Thorn.

Hook, line, and sinker.

- So, now we know.

Thanks to me.

- Clay and his people
are gonna blow up

this international
money conference

with the neutron bomb we stole.

- And we are going
to catch the blame.

- We need to do
something about that.

- [Ricky] We need a plan.

- Plan?

Plan to do what?

We're just a bunch of old men.

- Speak for yourself.

- We can argue about
this as much as we like,

but no one's gonna help us.

All we have is us.

- Clay and his pals set this up

to look as if we
hijacked the bomb.

I say we prove him right.

- How?

- Well, we just do it.

That's all.

We know where they're taking it.

- Just how are we going
to get there, huh?

- We'll fly Air Fidel.

I'm the Minister of Trade.

- What this got
to do with trade?

(soft music)

- Sometimes we do our trading
between Bogota and Miami.

They're very loyal to us.

- Oh you don't get too high.

(bright music)

- I never knew you could fly
a plane so close to the water.

- Keeps us under the radar.

Easier to see where you're
going, too, compadre.

(bright music)

- See this low plane has
its disadvantages, too.

- Columbian air conditioning.

(bright music)

- [Yuri] What you reading, Jack?

- How to place an
international phone call.

- Calling?

- Kelly.

(bright music)

- Hey, you aren't supposed
to use cell phones on planes.

You screw up
sensitive instrument.

- What sensitive instrument?

What this crate?

Get out of here.

- Hey.

You hurt me, Jack.

Old as crate.

(bright music)

(alarm ringing)

The Santa Maria.

- Is there a problem?

- We're running low on fuel.

- What?

- We're running low on fuel.

It's okay.

I got extra.

Put 120 on that side.

180 on that side.

(bright music)

- When are we
going to get there?

- Sometime late tonight
or early tomorrow morning.

Or maybe tomorrow afternoon.

(bright music)

(phone ringing)

- It's ringing.

(phone ringing)

These gadgets aren't bad.

(phone ringing)

(dramatic music)

(phone ringing)


- Jack.

What's all that noise?

- Oh.

It's the stewardess.

Listen, Griswald cracked.

We're on our way to Germany.

Where are you?

- Already there.

- What about our package?

- Hang on for a second.

(soft music)

Me again.

It was nothing.

Coming in at the
old NATO airstrip

in the Koenigsmacker forest.

- Koenigsmacker.

Sounds like a breakfast cereal.

- Midnight tomorrow.

- Midnight it is.

You take care of yourself, okay.

- You're the one who should
be taking care, Jack.

Clay's getting even
more suspicious

now that Griswald seems to
have fallen out of the loop.


Good luck, Jack.

- Whatever did
happen to Griswald?

- He was talking about
fulfilling lifelong ambition

to join the Bolshoi.

- Join the Bolshoi?

(energetic music)

(bright music)

(speaking in foreign language)

(bright music)

- Grandkids?

- Sometimes I bring them over
from my sister next door.

- Tell me something.

You don't actually manage
to sell these, do you?

- You'd be surprised.

I just sent a
shipment to Algeria.

- To the desert?

- Oh, I sell it to
anyone who needs a gnome

to drag out the dollar.

- Even okay with noises.


I think it is time the
children were going.

- Oh children, it's
time to leave now.

(bright music)

Come on, come on.

(bright music)

- Nice kid.

(bright music)

- Wow, von Brunner.

You always keep this
much ordinance around?

- For protection only.

- In case somebody wants
to steal the seven dwarfs.

- Gifts from France when I
retired to remember them by.

- Had I known we were
playing the dirty dozen,

I bring my own stuff.

This is garbage.

- Yeah, things
haven't been the same

since the war came down.

- Well I tell you I don't
mind this old stuff.

It's reliable.

I could never get used
to this modern laser

aim fire and forget stuff.

With my luck, I'd be
facing someone somewhere

and my battery would be dead.

- Lead is lead no matter what
kind of gun it comes from.

- Katchkov, careful not
to shoot the merchandise.

- Very profound, Yuri.

Is that Marx or Mayo?

- Bonnie and Clyde.

- Just don't shoot at my gnomes.

They're very fragile.

- Hey Jack, by
stealing this thing,

aren't we just digging
ourselves deeper?

- We don't have a choice.

Clay has set the
whole intelligence
community against us.

Our pensions are at stake.

We gotta stop him
and stealing the bomb

is the only way to do it.

- But Clay and his people
have covered all the bases.

- He has his weaknesses.

- I'm not seeing much
evidence of this.

- Clay has all the wisdom
and pride of youth.

- Which means he has
very little wisdom, Jack.

- And pride goeth
before the fall.

(bright music)

- [Soldier] Looks
like we blew a gasket.

- [Man] Oh damn.

(bright music)

- You're needing help perhaps?

(soft music)

- Not from a pair of
old geezers like you.

- Did he say geezers?

- He said geezers.

- [Benny] No, really?

- Really.

- Don't say I didn't warn you.

(gun firing)

- Lousy shot.

- Military training has
gone to hell these days.

- You want geezers,
I'll give you geezers.


(dramatic music)

(guns firing)
(dramatic music)

- Hold on.

- What?

- Move back.

(guns firing)
(dramatic music)

- [Soldier] Let's go.

Let's get out of here.

- They're running away.

Caught you.

(dramatic music)

Come on.

(dramatic music)

- Turkey shits.

- Chicken, Yuri, chicken.

- Eh.

Ducks, gooses, chickens.

They're still cowards no matter
what sort of birds they are.

(bright music)

- We risked our life
for a bunch of balloons.

- Geez.

(dramatic music)

- Blanks.

- I think we've been had.

(gentle music)

- Well, a little bit of editing

and this will be perfect at
the congressional hearings.

Nice shot of Jack and
his fellow conspirators.

Don't you think so, Miss Jones?

(soft music)

- I used to think you were just
an overdressed, pompous ass.

Now I know you're crazy, too.

- Really?

You know, treachery
is a matter of record.

- [Kelly Voiceover] Coming
in at the old NATO airstrip

in the Koenigsmacker forest.

Clay's getting even
more suspicious

now that Griswald seems to
have fallen out of the loop.

- Now, who's the
crazy one, Miss Jones?

You see you left a trail a mile
wide incriminating yourself.

- [Kelly] You'll never
get away with it.

(soft music)

- I already have.

That's a fact of life.

- Maybe.

Sometimes the old fights back.

(soft music)

- And loses.

- Not too much excitement
my doctor says.

Lower your stress
levels he says.

What does he know?

I feel young again.

- The Israeli's been taking
Ricky's tree frog drug.

Tonight was a disaster.

(bright music)

- You actually enjoy the thing?

- It could've been a lot worse.

- People are trying to kill us.

They'll probably try again.

(bright music)

- We walked into a trap and
hijacked of balloons, Jack.

What could be worse?

- We could've been killed.

- He has a point.

- You see me take
out the truck, Ricky?

- I saw.

You did good, Benny.

But they really
weren't fighting back.

- Maybe my reputation
preceded me.

Two gun Goldman.

(gentle music)

- Well, let's just
hope it doesn't happen

this evening 'cause I'm tired.

Oh shit.

(explosion booming)

(bright music)

- [Man] Move it.

(guns firing)
(bright music)

- Stay down.

(guns firing)
(bright music)

- [Man] Watch out.

All in position.

- They can see in the dark.

- [Man] Peters, I need ya.

- [Peters] 10 four, 10 four.

(gun firing)

At checkpoint, sir.

- They can hear us, too.

(guns firing)
(bright music)

- [Man] Roger that.

I got 'em, I got 'em.

(guns firing)
(bright music)

- We'll never make it.

(gun firing)

- Got weapons.

We fight our way out
of here or die trying.

- Stop quoting Stalin.

- [Man] This on a take train.

- [Soldier] Yes, sir.

- Stalin taught scared.

- There got to be a better
way than dying a hero.

- You wanna smoke them
out with your cigars?

(guns firing)
(bright music)

- What are you gonna do
talk them to death, Jack?

(bright music)


- Something like that.

(bright music)

- [Soldier] We're holding, sir.

Can't quite make it out.

- Who you gonna call?

- Everybody.

(guns firing)
(bright music)

(bright music)

- [Woman] Call me at 555.

- [Man] What is this?

- [Woman] SEXX.

- [Soldier] Yo Thompson,
you seeing what I'm seeing?

- [Woman] Give me a call.

I'm waiting for you.

- [Man] How'd that get on there?

- Yes.

- [Man] What's going on?

- [Woman] Call me at 555-SEXX.

Go on give me a call.

- [Man] Come on, guys, focus.

- Yes.

- [Soldier] You might
have a job, gentlemen.

- [Man] Get that thing fixed.

Go to manual.

(gun firing)
(dramatic music)

- Come on.

Let's go.

(guns firing)
(dramatic music)

- Take this.

(dramatic music)
(explosion booming)

- Way to go.

- [Man] Let's go, let's go.

(guns firing)
(dramatic music)

- Everyone okay?

- [Yuri] Jack.

- Yuri.

(dramatic music)

(gun firing)

(explosion booming)

- My god.

- That's a hell of a handgun
you've got there, Brit.

- What I really
need now is a nap.

- Little dog needs
a little sleep, huh.

(gentle music)

(bright music)

- Rick.

(bright music)

- It's an email for you.

- For me?

It's from Clay.

Clay has taken Kelly
and he's keeping her

at the old US army
base at Braunschweiger.

- That's right
next to the Chateau

where they're holding
the G7 conference.

- Unless I give myself
up, he's gonna kill her.

- That's it.

Game over.

- I've gotta do what he says.

- No.

It's a trap.

You'll be committing suicide.

- I have to agree with Yuri.

He's right this time.

You'll be throwing
your life away, amigo.

- I am not going to abandon her.

- This man Clay has
been one step ahead

of us from the beginning.

He still is.

We've ran out of options.

- No.

I spent my whole life fighting
for causes that I believe in.

We all have.

Do we throw this
away for a gang of

(speaks in foreign language)
like Clay and his people?

- No, we don't.

I agree with Rick.

It's not over until
the fat lady sings

and there's always light
at the end of the tunnel.

The question is which
tunnel do we go down?

Do we rescue Kelly or do we
go after the neutron device?

If Braunschweiger is anything
like any other military base

it's gonna be riddled
with ducks and vents

and there's got to be
a way to get inside.

- You get the girl.

- And we get the bomb and
stop it from going off.


How do you stop a neutron
bomb from going off?

- I can't even get
my VCR to work,

so how do you expect me
to disarm a neutron bomb?

- Is this an X47 series
neutron bomb or a Y79?

- Oh, it's an X47.

- That's the one with the
dutra radon lithium six.

Try tying the iridium driver.

(bright music)

- Oh.


If you say so.

- The core normally
gets compressed

to hyper densities of around
10,000 times the norm.

That generates about
a kiloton of energy.

(bright music)

Enough to fry anything
organic in a small city.

To stop it, all you need to
do is preempt iridium driver

by exploding the shell
of the bomb prematurely.

- Okay.

How would we do that?

- Simple.

Use a high quality plastic
explosive like Semtex.

- This Semtex, you learn about
that from your Uncle Kurt?

- No, picked it up on the web.

- And the neutron bomb?

You learn about that
on the web, too?

- No.

- Where then?

- "Men in Black".

(upbeat music)

- "Men in Black".

(upbeat music)

- Whoa.

I don't suppose he knows

where we can buy a
truckload of Semtex.

(upbeat music)

- The Semtex will
not be a problem.

- [Marta] Ah children,
it's time for supper.

Come on.

(upbeat music)

- As you know, Semtex
is the most popular

terrorist explosive
in the world.

While the Czechs best efforts

along with the
scorpion machine pistol

and the vorgelesen burner.

You can mold it into
any shape you want.

Hit it with hammer.

Throw it on the floor.

Even set it on fire.

- Yes, well I don't see any.

(dramatic music)

(gun firing)

(explosion booming)

- Oh yeah.

- [Kurt] You just wasn't
looking in the right places.

- Algeria?

Now I get it.

Let me guess about who
the other places, okay.

Bosnia, Czechia,
Libya, Bulgaria.

Anything ending in ia.

- A few dry lands as well.

Very planned gardens in Belfast.

- Chateau Braunschweiger.

Your standard black forest
lunatic prince's summer house.

A NATO conference center
until they tore down the wall.

Nice and isolated.

This is the base.

- Okay.

Getting in is one thing.

What about getting out?

- All these old places
have secret tunnels.

We'll find something.

- So that's it.

You two find the bomb and
you two bring in the gnomes.

(bright music)

- [Man] What's this?

- Gnomes for your garden, yes.

- Gnomes?

(speaking in foreign language)
(bright music)

- Snow White.

(speaking in foreign language)

- Gnome, yeah.

(speaking in foreign language)


All right.

(bright music)

- [Ricky] Gnomes.

(bright music)

- Did you have to
hit him so hard?

- Go.

(bright music)

- I should've used a pillow?

Besides, he was in the way.

(bright music)

(dramatic music)

- Arthritis acting up, Yuri?

(dramatic music)

Brains meet raw.

(dramatic music)

(gentle music)

- Was this the storage?

(speaking in foreign language)

Yeah, okay.

(gentle music)

(dramatic music)

- My god.

If only I had this
before the war came down.


- Tempting, isn't it?

(gentle music)

- Cold War is over, comrade.

We both lost.

- Hey, compadre.

- [Yuri] Just take a
look at this thing.

(speaking in foreign language)

(soft music)

(dramatic music)

- Brings back memories, huh?

If only we had one of these
during the missile crisis.

- [Benny] Just be
glad Khorodkovsky

never got his hands on one.

- He almost did.

We sent him a knockoff.

It blew up on the ship.

- Freeze.

(dramatic music)

- You left a trail a mile wide.


You'll have to do better than

ugly garden
ornaments I'm afraid.

- Take one home to your wife

and tell her it's self portrait.

- Why don't you just kill us
now and have done with it?

- Why waste bullets when
we've got a neutron bomb?

Take their weapons.

(dramatic music)

- [Guard] You heard him.

Hand 'em over slowly.

(dramatic music)

- [Jack] Kelly.

- Jack.

(dramatic music)

- Good to see you.

- You too.

(dramatic music)

- You didn't have to go
through all that, Thorn.

All you had to do
is knock politely

and come in the front door.

Now was it silly of me to think

that you'd do something
as crazy as that?

- You're the crazy one, Clay.

- Well Miss Jones said
exactly the same thing.

Now, what's that old cliche?

Great minds think alike
and fools seldom differ.

And I think you and your friends

are falling into
the second category.

- Really?

What about you?

Only a fool would blow up
an economic conference.

- I'm not the one
that's gonna blow it up.

Your friends will.

And I have the
evidence to prove it.

- I see.

So we take the blame?

- Precisely.

Who controls the
international retirement fund?

- [Jack] The United States does.


- With American dollars.

Now take that away
and America's power,

position and prestige,
it's finished.

See the G7 heads have agreed
to ban currency trading

and they are going to sign
a treaty to that effect.

The Cold War may be over but
the cash war has just begun.

- You don't care how
many people you kill

as long as you
get what you want.

- Which reminds me I
should check to see

that the delegates are
getting here on time.

You know what?

I'll be back so we can watch
the festivities together.

See this door?

Three inches thick.

And the electronic lock has
5.3 million combinations.

Oh by the way, don't expect
any help from your friends.

I took care of
that little detail.

(soft music)

- You okay?

- Yeah.

(soft music)


He's outsmarted us
at every corner.

- Maybe.

Or maybe this old dog can
still learn some new tricks.

- You're not old.

- No, but I am
technology challenged.

(dramatic music)

- Well I hope all of
you are comfortable.

Any requests?

(dramatic music)

- Kelly.

Do you know what a duo tangent
oscillating transponder is?

- Sure.

Every military computer
system has one.

- Really?

Do you think you
can find one here?

- Yeah, I can try.

- [Jack] Go for it.

(dramatic music)

- A cigarette.

What about a cigar?

- It's bad for your health.

(dramatic music)

- What about you?


- Blindfold?

You mean so I don't have to look

at the face of a putz like you.

- Such valor in the
face of disaster.

(dramatic music)

It's too bad it's
wasted, Mr. Goldman.

(dramatic music)

Everything in order?

- Right on schedule.

(dramatic music)

- Good.

(dramatic music)
(machine beeping)

It was a pleasure, gentlemen.

(speaking in foreign language)

- [Yuri] Duck fucker.

- Mother, Yuri.

It's mother.

(dramatic music)

- You see that thing in there?

That's a 10 mile blast effect.

We better get going.

- There's almost 100 civilians
still in the building.

(dramatic music)

(gun firing)

(dramatic music)

- One more won't
make a difference.

(dramatic music)

- Got it.

- You're kidding?

- [Kelly] Now what?

- All right.

Now we pray.

(dramatic music)

I'm accessing the cell phones
random number generator

and if I can get the
first three numbers right,

the rest is easy.

(phone ringing)

(dramatic music)

(phone ringing)
(dramatic music)

See what you can learn by
reading an instruction manual?

After you.

(dramatic music)

- [Ricky] Left hand.

I said left hand.

- [Benny] Your left or my left?

- [Ricky] What?

- [Benny] My pocket.

My Swiss army knife.

- [Jack] Well,
well, look at you.

- Hey Jack.

We got everything under control.

- Sure you do.

(bright music)

We don't have much time.

- Always so upbeat.

(bright music)

- [Jack] You know what to do.

Do it.

I'm going after Clay.

- Good luck.

- Be careful.

(dramatic music)

- We've got a bomb threat.

- [Man] Everyone out.

- Clear the building.

Hold back the delegates.

Let's go.

(bright music)

- [Guard] Which one of
you wants to explain this?

- [Men] She does.

- You son of a bitch.

You killed my friends.

Admit it.

- You damn right I did.

- Basically that's
a neutron bomb.

- I planned it, the whole thing.

- It's an X47
series neutron bomb.

That's the one with the duo
ray lithium six thread type.

(bright music)

- The iridium driver.

(bright music)

The core normally
gets compressed

to hyper densities of around
10,000 times the normal.

- Tell me about Pierre Lapin.

- It generates about
kiloton of energy.

- I set up.

- Enough to fry anything
organic in a small city.

(bright music)

- Do it.

- Can you stop it?

- All you need to do is
preempt the iridium driver

by exploding the
shell of the bomb.

- Premature.

(bright music)

- How do you do that?

- Simple.

Use high quality plastic
explosives like Semtex.

- What about Simon Bartlett?

- Him too.

- Okay, if that
explains it well enough,

I really think we
should get going.

- Are you sure
this is gonna work?

- Do you really wanna
hang around and find out?

- Shut that door, Jack
Thorn, or we both die.

Shut it.

(bright music)

- Come on, Jack.

(bright music)

Come on, Jack.

(bright music)

(explosion booming)

(dramatic music)

(explosion booming)

- It worked.

(dramatic music)

- Jack.

- Compadre.

- You Jack Thorn?

- That's me.

I've got Clay's
confession on tape.

- It might tie up
a few loose ends,

but it's not really
necessary now.

- Tie up a few loose ends?

Not really necessary now?

I busted my ass to get
his confession on tape.

- Like I said, not
really necessary.

Your friends here
already got you

off the hook with that note.

- What note?

(gentle music)

Whose idea was it?

- You always need
a plan B, Jack.

We stopped the bomb.

And saved your (speaks
in foreign language).

- Not to mention
the G7 delegates.

- Oh and our reputations, too.

- Pensions too maybe.

- What I wanna know is who's
gonna pay for my gnome?

- Why don't you put it on
Clay's expense account?

(bright music)

- Where exactly is Clay?

- He's locked up in the
basement just in case you had

anymore loose ends
you wanted to tie up.

- And if you can't make the
pig talk, give him to us.

We'll make him squeal.

(bright music)

- I bet you will.

Let's get out of here.

(bright music)

- [Benny] This justice system

of the Americans is very flawed.

First, they catch him.

Then they can get
anything out of him.

After six month.

- He had good lawyers.

They couldn't even
prove he had help.

- That is the American
way of course.

This foolishness of innocent
until proven guilty.

- It works, Yuri.

At least for football
heroes and all burglars.

- They think our
methods are outdated.

- Not everyone.

After all, they
did let him escape.

- They did.

- They did.

- They did.

(bright music)

- Right into our own hands.

(bright music)

- No.

* There ain't gonna
be no worries *

* I'm living a life of ease

* Just me and my boat
and my fish on pole *

* Doing whatever I please

* The sun is up and
the birds are singing *

* I feel a gentle breeze

* 'Cause I've got all
the time in the world *

* To do whatever I please

* Ain't nobody bugging me

* I ain't got no bills to pay

* There ain't nothing
else I have to do *

* But hey I got all day

* There ain't gonna
be no worries *

* I'm living a life of ease

* Just me and my boat
and my fish on pole *

* Doing whatever I please

* There ain't gonna
be no worries *

* I'm living a life of ease

* Just me and my boat
and my fish on pole *

* Doing whatever I please

* Me and my boat and
my fish on pole *

* Doing whatever I please

(bright music)

(energetic music)