Coyote Ugly (2000) - full transcript

[train rattling]

[man] Why don't you
ever realize the truth, Vince?

I ate nine pies and a meatball
hero in one hour. That's a record.

It wasn't nine pies.
It was eight.

You left two slices of mushroom
on the last tray.

- Violet?
- You guys, it was six pies.

No hero. I had to call the paramedics
to pump your stomach,

three years ago. When are you
gonna talk about something else?

When someone comes through
that door and breaks the record,

then we'll stop talking
about the subject.

Enjoy your pie, guys.



- It's the last one I'll ever serve.
- Aren't you forgetting something?

Quit it, Pete. I'm not doing that.

It's a tradition. Sign the card.

I got it, folks.
I got the first autograph.

- Hey, Violet. All right!
- Violet's on her way to the wall.

That's 20 years
of girls leaving town.

That wall is jinxed.
I won't sit near that wall.

Let's hope you have better luck
than they did.

- [crowd shouting]
- Ladies and gentlemen.

As you all know,
my best friend, Violet Sanford,

has decided...

...has decided to leave
South Amboy tomorrow

and travel the 42 miles
to New York City.

So... OK, come on.
Bring her up here, girls.



- Come on, Violet.
- [crowd hooting]

Come on, Vi.
Come on, everyone.

Hey, Violet, come on.
Come up here.

- Come on, honey.
- You guys!

Now, I think it's only fair
that tonight, on her last night

here with us in Jersey...

she grace us with a little tune.

No way!

[all singing / Will Survive]

[music continues faintly]

[man whistles] Look at this!

Four people killed last night
in New York.

No reason at all.

Police have no leads.
[clicks tongue]

- Tragic.
- Dad, what're you doing?

I guess four out
of seven million ain't so bad.

Headline should read,
"Millions Survive Night in New York. "

Dad, stop. I get the point.
Here. Eat your eggs.

They're not eggs. They're egg whites.
And I'd rather eat the carton.

You lost six pounds
staying on this diet.

No fast food. No sausage.

I bought you some Lean Cuisine meals,
I put 'em in the freezer.

- My mouth is watering already.
- I lined your vitamins on the counter.

- I don't take vitamins.
- You do now. Just take them.

And I put fresh batteries in the
TV remote and set the V.C.R. timer so...

Excuse me.
Am I missing something here?

I'm the parent. You're the child
running away to live by herself.

- I should be telling you how to live.
- Fine. How should I live?

- Simple. Don't go.
- [sighs]

I got that Irish Spring you like.
Oh. And Dad, whatever you do...

- Don't do the laundry.
- [muttering] Don't do the laundry.

Leave it by the dryer.
I'll do it every Sunday.

Ah, this is interesting.

The handrails on the subway system
could lead to an outbreak of plague.

Dad. Look.

You said I could be
whatever I wanna be.

I never said songwriter
in New York City. That's the exception.

You said anything,
and I believed you, so...

[sighs] I'm not leaving
without your support.

- [car horn honking]
- That's Gloria. What's it gonna be?

[sighs]

Violet, I saw how hard it was for your
mother when she didn't make it.

But if she was here,
she'd tell me to shut up,

wish you luck
and give you a big hug.

I'm not gonna give you a big hug,
and I'm not gonna wish you luck, but...

...I am gonna shut up, sit here
with my coffee and pretend to be mad.

Is that OK?

This is the last of it.

- Honey, are you OK with that?
- Yeah, I got it.

I got it. Wait.

All right.
That's everything.

- [Gloria] Let's hit it.
- Good luck.

There, I said it.

Love you.

Put some pepper spray in your purse.
Even if you're not sure.

Just start spraying.

You know, you're not alone,
Mr. Sanford.

Hey, you know, me and you
should have dinner sometime.

I'm locking the doors.

[man singing / Will Survive]

All right. This is it.

What do you think?

I had a feeling
you were gonna need this.

- What are you doing?
- It's just some emergency cash I saved.

Honey, from the looks of this place,
I'd say this is our emergency.

Well, I'm not taking it.

Fine, then.

I'm freezing your assets.

So, thanks for everything.

- I'll call ya.
- [sniffling]

What is this?

It's just that all our lives,
you know, we always had

one thing in common, you and me.

What are you talking about?

It's like we said we wouldn't lose
our virginity until we got married,

and that didn't happen.

Then we said wed go to college or junior
college, or dental hygienist school,

and that didn't happen.

We've never followed through
on a single thing, you know?

And I think that's
what makes us so special.

[chuckles]
And this is why you're crying?

Well...

...a long time ago you told me
you were gonna move to New York.

But everyone thought you'd just
stay in Jersey and get married

like me and Danny are gonna.

You know? And... and look at you.

No matter what,
you really did it, Vi.

And I'm so proud of you.

[sighs]

[plays soft ballad]

- [pounding]
- [angry woman] Enough! You hear me?

You be quiet! Enough in there!

[♪ But I Do Love You]

[car horn honking]

[car horn honking]

Hi. I'm Violet Sanford.

I just moved to New York

and was wondering if you would
give my tape to one of your artists.

Violet, that is so cute.

Now, let me tell you about me.

My name is Wendy. I moved to New York
when I was 21 to be a dancer,

but I broke my big toe.

I got knocked up by this actor
who dumped me to join the Peace Corps.

So for the last 16 years I been
raising my daughter all by myself.

And then two weeks ago she tells me
that she is a bisexual

and that she hates me more
than any person on this planet.

[sarcastic] Now, tell me
how I can help you, please,

because I am dying
to make your dreams come true.

[♪ EMF: Unbelievable]

You don't take the tape
unless it comes from an agent

but I can't get an agent
until I get published?

If we were to listen to that tape,
that would give you grounds

for a copyright or plagiarism lawsuit.

It's just a little tape.
All I want is someone to sing my songs.

Welcome to the music business.

[phone ringing]

- Good evening. ID, please.
- Hi. Uh, sure.

[♪ Wherever You Go]

- What can I get you?
- Let me ask you something.

I'm a songwriter. Is there someone
here I could talk to about my songs?

I've been a struggling
sax player for 12 years.

- What can I get you from the bar?
- Pepsi and some crackers.

[chatter and music]

Hey. How are you doing?

Excuse me. Who's that guy?

That would be Mr. O'Donnell.

Mr. O'Donnell.
He's the manager or something?

Yeah. He's the music manager.

He's in charge of finding bands and...

...booking new talent.

Where were you, O'Donnell?

I got 15 orders stacked up here
and nobody to run the grill.

Fifteen orders, Walt.
Is that all?

Gimme ten minutes, I'll catch us up.
Go on. Lie down.

Relax. You look tired.

We can talk about
my raise later.

Think this is Australia? There's no
raise. I'm about to fire you.

[door opens, people laughing]

- Um, excuse me. Mr. O'Donnell?
- Yes.

My name is Violet Sanford. I'm
a songwriter. I wanted to give you this.

I know it's not the most
professional way to submit a tape.

- But this is all pretty new to me.
- It's pretty new to me too.

I just figured as the manager
of a club like this,

you must know every band
on the East Coast.

The manager... of this club.

Um...

- You guys go ahead. I'll catch up.
- Sure thing...

...Mr. O'Donnell.

[clears throat]

I don't usually do this, Violet.

Um, but I...
I have a feeling about you.

So I'm gonna take your tape,
and I'm gonna see what I can do.

Thank you.

I can't believe how easy this was.

Neither can I.

Uh, you wanna go for
some coffee or something?

O'Donnell, who do I look like?
Your goddamn maid?

That's Mr. O'Donnell...

...but I'll let it slide this time.

I told you to take your stuff
home and wash it.

You got grease caked on the front.

Walt, I've warned you about
your attitude. You're fired.

Oh, you better not push me, kid.

I can find 100 other little punks like
you who can burn a turkey burger.

Minimum wage punk.

Maybe we should start over. Uh...

I'm Kevin O'Donnell...

...and I work the grill here
at the Fiji Mermaid Club.

I just made a complete fool of myself.

I was gonna tell you.

I'm almost sure
I would have told you.

I just want you to know
I'm not following you home.

I'm just walking myself
26 blocks in the wrong direction.

- I asked you to leave me alone.
- Did I mention how sorry I am?

Not that it's my fault.
You did throw yourself at me.

I didn't. I was pretending to be
innocent so you'd give me a break.

- Can I ask you a question?
- What?

Is there a reason we just walked
in a circle? Are you lost?

I'm not lost.
Somebody just moved my street.

You... You wanna play a game?

I bet I can guess
where you're from.

I'm about to get out
my pepper spray.

I reckon you're from a big city.

And there's no sign from here
of a belly button ring

or a tongue piercing.

I gotta go with Chicago.

OK. I've never had anyone
stare at my ass for half an hour,

so I'm gonna say good night.

And I'm hoping
you're gonna say it back.

OK. I can take a hint.

I really do know people
in the music business.

You just don't give up, do ya?

It was the sweet and innocent thing.
It did me in.

Good night, Kevin.

Just for the record, I was only staring
at your ass for the first 15 minutes.

[horns honking]

[♪ EMF: Unbelievable]

- [man] William Morris.
- I don't mean to interrupt.

- I just want to leave this...
- William Morris. Please hold.

- It's a demo. I'm a songwriter.
- William Morris.

I'll be right with you.

I just want to leave this
for Whitney or Mariah.

I'm sure they're friends of yours.

Look. I'm sure it sounds great
in your shower,

but karaoke ended a half hour ago.

If you'd like to get your songs heard

take them to an open mic night
just like everyone else.

- [phones ringing]
- William Morris.

I'll transfer.
You're not getting validated.

- Can I help you?
- Um...

Yeah, hi. Uh, I'm sure all your spaces
are filled for tonight.

I just wanted to come and check out what
this whole open mic thing was about.

I can squeeze you in in ten minutes.

A couple of my regulars, they called in
sick. So, uh, I've got spaces to fill.

I need you to sign your name
in here and get yourself ready.

[singer continues]

Bathroom's around the corner
if you want to throw up.

Next up we have a young lady
named Violet Sanford.

So let's put our hands together

for New Jersey's own Violet Sanford!
Come on up, Violet.

Good! There we go.
Yeah. Whoo!

- [woman] Yay, Violet!
- [applause, whistles]

- [feedback]
- Oh, oops.

- I'm a little nervous.
- So are we, honey.

Don't tease me, honey! Sing!

[man] Come on, give her a break.

I'm sorry.

Hello?

[crying]

Cheer up. You look like somebody
ran over your dog.

Hey, um, how much
is a slice of pie?

Oh, uh...

...we happen to have
the best French apple in town.

And, uh, it's on the house.

[girls chattering]

- OK?
- Twenty says it's Pretty Woman.

I will raise you ten
because it is Home Alone.

- Oh?
- You guys have to read the signs.

I call with Saving Private Ryan.

- What?
- Let's flip this over,

and Miss Jennifer from Austin

says her favorite movie is...

No way. There's no way!
You already saw this one.

Oh, you are such a cheater.

Hello. A naked girl in army boots?
Easy play to call.

- Thank you.
- Those boots are kinda cute.

- I have to get me some of those.
- [chuckles]

[♪ Snap: The Power]

Wait. Oh, Romero.
You gotta turn that up, baby.

That is the jam. Turn it up!

- There you go, there you go.
- Oh, no.

- Girl, what are you doing?
- Remember this? Remember this?

- [girls groaning]
- Belly dancing.

[hooting]

- Do you know those girls?
- [Romero] Oh, yeah.

They're here every morning
around this time, winding down.

Wait, wait.

- They have to, in their line of work.
- Are they hookers?

No.

[girls cheering, laughing]

Coyotes.

- [girl 2 laughs]
- [girl 1] All right.

You guys? You guys wanna see what
Al gave me for my birthday?

- This.
- [girl 1] You let him brand you?

- Isn't it cute?
- [girl 1] She let a man brand her.

Hey, check it out, ladies.
We each made 300 bucks tonight.

[girl 3] Mmm.

You sure you wanna be
going off to law school? Hmm?

- Let's make a toast.
- Yeah.

To Zoe's last week as a Coyote.

- Oh.
- She's gonna be impossible to replace.

I just wanna tell you both
that I will never, ever forget you.

[woman] Who's up there?

- I'm looking for the owner.
- [woman] Hey, come on down.

Bring a case with you.

What are you doing here?

I'm gonna drop this case.
Where do you want it?

- That depends. What do ya want?
- I heard you might need a new, uh...

That, uh, there might be
a job opening.

Put it right there.
Let me take a look at ya.

[groans] Let me guess.

Piedmont, North Dakota.

South Amboy, New Jersey.

Same thing. You do any drugs?

Just coffee.
That's all I can afford right now.

- Let me see your arms.
- Are you kidding?

Do I look like I'm kidding?

Where'd you get that scar?

Pizza oven. Permanent burn
from pulling slices for four years.

That could be the saddest thing
I've ever heard.

What's next? You want a urine sample?

Ha, ha. I prefer blood.

Look, are you really the owner?
'Cause I've had a rough couple of days.

The last thing I need is some waitress
on a power trip wasting my time.

You start Friday night.

Be there at 11:00.
That's when we get busy.

- You're giving me a job?
- I'm giving you an audition.

Don't be late, Jersey girl.

I don't mean to press my luck,

but would you mind telling me
why you're hiring me?

Because the average male
is walking around

with a toddler inside of his pants.

A two-year-old, right there
inside his Dockers.

Men have two-year-old children in their
pants? That's why you're hiring me?

You look like a kindergarten teacher.
The kids'll love it.

Sorry I asked.

[car horn honks]

ID, please.

Oh. I'm supposed to
start work here tonight.

You picked a good night to start.

- It's slow now, but it should pick up.
- OK.

[♪ Def Leppard:
Pour Some Sugar On Me]

Is this a church meeting
or is this a bar? Make some noise!

[whooping, shouting]

Yeah!

Want it?

- I'm sorry. Sorry!
- I don't think so.

Just in time. Where you going?

- Uh, I was... I was looking for you.
- Good. Let's go.

All right!

- Really love your top.
- Thanks.

I got it, um, on sale...

[crowd hollering]

OK. Hair.

- Let's see your moves.
- Whoo!

That's Rachel.
You can learn a lot from her.

She just cut some guy's ponytail off.

The court ordered her to
take anger management classes

after she pummeled a customer
for grabbing her ass.

He pressed charges.
I gave her a raise. Cheers.

There is only two rules, OK?
What do you want?

[man] Two beers.

- Don't date the customers.
- OK.

Second, don't ever bring
your boyfriends into my bar.

As of this moment you are to appear
available but never be available.

Break my rules,
I fire you on the spot.

- I... I understand.
- Jesus.

[bell clanging]

Hey! Hey, everybody!

Shut up!

I'd like you to meet my new girl

whose name is...

Violet.

- Jersey.
- [cheering]

Jersey is an
ex-kindergarten teacher,

and a former nun
who just escaped from the convent,

and is tired of being
the only virgin in New York City.

Yeah!

Would anyone like
to buy her a drink? Whoo!

- Come on, move! I'm working here.
- Sorry.

- Four margaritas with salt.
- All right.

Got tequila. No mix,
no salt, no blender.

- OK, how about a black Russian?
- Got vodka, no Kahlua.

- White wine.
- Never carry the stuff.

So basically you have...

Jim, Jack, Johnny Red,
Johnny Black and Jose.

All my favorite men.

You can have it any way you like,
as long as it's in a shot glass.

OK, I'll take a beer.

- Four dollars.
- I'm Cammie, the Russian tease.

Violet, the Jersey nun.

That one's Rachel,
the New York bitch.

We all play our little parts,
only Rachel really is a bitch.

And I really am a tease.

You can only be a tease
if you stop sleeping around.

Yeah. I keep forgetting that part.

[♪ DMX: Party Up]

[whistling]

A shot of tequila, and don't forget one
for your pretty little self.

Oh, thanks, but ever since
I got really drunk on tequila,

I never drink the stuff anymore.

Hey, Lil! Your new girl's
refusing your good booze.

No! I was... I was suggesting
this gentleman buy me a double.

[man] That's more like it!

[♪ The Georgia Satellites:
Keep Your Hands To Yourself]

- Whoo!
- Eight shots.

Four Canadian, four South of the Border,

six-pack MGD and a double-blended back.

- You want eight shots of what?
- I got it.

Forty-six even, honey.

- Hey, Lil!
- Yo!

Your Jersey girl
can't quite keep up.

- Hey, gimme a Scotch and water.
- OK, you got it.

Lil, do we serve water
with our whiskey?

Only water I serve's
got barley and hops in it!

Hey, everybody!
Do we serve water in this bar?

[crowd chanting] Hell, no, H20!
Hell, no, H20!

[♪ The Charlie Daniels Band:
Devil Went Down to Georgia]

[all shouting]

- Whoo!
- Yeah!

- Whoo!
- [Lil] Sink or swim time, Jersey.

Get up there!

I can't do that dance.

OK.

Here's some cash.
You did OK for a nun.

You're firing me?

I told you this was an audition.

Thanks for coming in.
Now, get outta here.

- Not again! Please stop!
- Back off!

- Hey!
- Guys, guys, back off, back off!

Look, the way I see it,
you got two choices.

You can start a fight, get a bloody
nose, make fools of yourselves,

or you can take this ten bucks
I got right here

and buy these two pretty ladies
a round at the bar.

- Come on. What do you say?
- Let's go to the bar! Party!

Hold it, Jersey. I'm just dying
to know where that came from.

Try serving a beer and pizza
on Monday nights

when the Giants play the Cowboys.

I'm giving you a second audition.

There's a store at the corner of Sixth
and Hill. Be there at noon tomorrow.

I'm sending my fashion coordinator
there to take you shopping.

Now go home
before I change my mind.

Hey, and Jersey, I'd be shocked
if you survive another night.

Here we go!

And left, and right,
clog, clog, clog.

Work it, girls!

Oh, yeah!

- Hey, honey, how are you?
- Hi. I miss you.

- I miss you too.
- What are you eating?

One of those Lean Cuisine meals.
Rice and vegetables.

- Delicious.
- Oh! See, they're good, right?

Mmm... Yum.

So, uh, tell me more about this bar.
What kind of place is it?

I don't know.
It's just a bar, Dad.

Um, hold on a second.

Hi.

So, well, what's going on
with your songwriting?

Songwriting.

Oh! He still has my tape.

[♪ Rob Base & DJ EZ Rock:
It Takes Two]

I want my tape.

I had a feeling
you'd be back to see me.

- No dates in the kitchen, O'Donnell.
- I'm not staying.

I... I just want my tape. Please.

- Thanks. Bye.
- Did you really write all those songs?

You listened to my tape?

No, of course not. I mean,
that would be invasion of privacy.

Go ahead, laugh it up.

Nothing you can say
that's gonna bother me.

I'm just trying to tell you
I like your music.

I mean, do you always
take compliments so well?

- I gotta go.
- Wait! Uh...

I wanna see you again.

- Where are you working?
- I'm a Coyote.

- [howls]
- Good. And what the hell is that?

If you want to see me again,
you'll figure it out.

That good? Uh-huh.

Sorry I'm late.
Al and I had a big fight.

And then we made up. Twice.

You're the fashion coordinator?

Lil told me to get you something
that would make the kiddies drool.

Trust me, Violet.

I have a serious shopping problem.

[giggles]

No. Forget it honey,
that's a church dress.

Nobody wears leather in church. Sure
we're going in the right direction?

Try this one.
It's very tasteful.

- It has a zipper in the crotch.
- Yeah.

Who'd wear that in public?

Actually, I have it in blue.

[♪ EMF: Unbelievable]

Forgive me, Father,
for I have sinned.

- [music continues]
- [hooting, cheering]

- Here I am!
- [hooting]

Yeah, baby!

Come on! Knock it...
Hey! Knock it off!

Lil! The ice!

How do you like that, huh?

I don't know how you guys do it.
I can't have another drink.

Next time that guy buys you a shot...
That's on me, honey.

...chase it with a beer.

- I don't get it.
- I don't swallow it.

I just spit the shot back into
the beer bottle. They'll never know.

You try it.

Hey, just keep an eye
on your spittoon bottle.

Once Rachel served hers to Lou
by accident. Huge drama.

Cammie, I think I just
fell in love with you.

Oh, Violet! I'm not a lesbian.

I've played in the minors
but never went pro.

- That's not what I meant.
- What are you doing?

Lil's staring at you. Come on.

Lil's staring at you. Come on.

Grab this guy. Make yourself look busy.

Hi. You look like
you could use a shot.

No, I'm waiting on Lil.

Sorry. It's a no parking zone. If you
wanna sit here, you gotta order a drink.

- OK. Gimme a glass of water.
- OK.

- He just ordered water.
- Yeah.

You know what to do.

Um...

Testing. Um, hey, everybody,
this guy just ordered water.

Do we serve water in our bar?

[crowd] Hell, no! H20!
Hell, no! H20!

[spluttering]

Jersey! No!

It's OK! Nobody orders water
in your bar!

He can order whatever he wants.
He's the fire marshal.

Mike, I'm so sorry. She's new.

I'm OK. Let's step outside.

Nice knowing you, Jersey.

Come on, you guys! Let me hear you!

You OK?

Who am I kidding? I can't do this.

Of course you can.
Now cheer up,

because there's a really cute guy
at the bar asking for you.

Somebody's asking for me?

He says his name is Mr. O'Donnell.

He's hot.

Jersey, the fire marshal
threatened to shut me down.

He let me go with a $250 fine.

- I'm really sorry...
- I'll make you a deal.

You figure out a way
to make me 250 tonight,

I'll let you come back tomorrow.

Great.

- So much for sweet and innocent.
- So, you found me.

Some guys at work told me
where I could look for Coyotes.

Take a good look,
because tonight's my last night.

I'm gonna get fired.

- Why?
- I have to make $250 in two hours.

It's completely impossible.

Here's nine dollars
just to get you started, OK?

I always like to help
a friend in need.

Why are you looking at me like that?

Kevin, I don't want your money.

All right, uh, listen up, ladies.

The bidding will start at $25

for one night only.

You get this purebred,
housebroken,

fully trained, young stud.

- No way.
- That's pretty cheap.

Violet, what are you doing?

You said you wanted to help,
so... turn around, sir...

let 'em take a look at ya.

Why are you doing this to me?

It's payback time, Mr. O'Donnell.

Now, turn around.

No, God, no. Don't do this.

Go on, show 'em what you've got.

Are you in?
Do you wanna do this?

- Ladies. What'll you give me?
- Twenty bucks.

[women hooting]

I've got $25 right here.

Make it 35!

Thirty-five dollars!

- Forty dollars!
- Get... What are you doing?

- Come on, girls, fifty?
- Fifty!

- Sixty-one dollars.
- I've got $75!

- Come on, girls, $75?
- Seventy-five dollars!

- [woman] Eighty!
- [Violet] Eighty dollars!

- Come on, girls. Do I hear $85?
- [hooting]

Ninety! Ninety-five dollars!

- One hundred dollars, baby!
- [Violet] A hundred dollars!

[♪ INXS: Need You Tonight]

That's it. You wanna
come home with Mama?

[woman] Whoa! Nice!

Oh, yeah!

That's my boy.

- Oh, yeah. Shake it, shake it.
- $125 back here!

$140, right here.
Come on, come on.

My goodness, girls, come on.
One fifty and you'll see the butt.

Come on, girls.
You can do better than this.

One seventy-five.

Yeah!

- [Violet] There we go.
- Two hundred dollars!

- Two fifteen right here!
- Two hundred and fifty dollars.

Sold, for $250!

- No!
- Come on up, honey. He's yours.

Damn you!

The blonde would have gone $275.

Come with me.

You're gonna owe me big-time
for this one. That's $250 even.

- [woman] Mmm. Mmm!
- Oh.

[♪ Blondie: One Way or Another]

[Violet singing along]

[Lil] Better close out, girls.

- Can I ask you something?
- What?

What... What does "Coyote Ugly" mean?

Did you ever wake up sober
after a one night stand

and the person you're next to
is on your arm and they're so ugly

you'd rather chew off your arm
than wake them? That's coyote ugly.

Let's go, ladies.

Why would you name your bar
after something like that?

Well, because Cheers was taken.

Cabs are out front.

- You're rich, Jersey.
- See ya.

Yeah. Good night.

The woman who purchased me
is named Sandy Rosenfeld,

a divorcee with three grown kids,

a passion for long walks, short-haired
hunting dogs and Italian opera.

Her ex-husband is a CPA.
Her favorite artist is Van Gogh,

and her New Year's resolution
is to lose 15 pounds

and to see Barbra in concert.

OK. I owe you.

[chuckles] What do you want?

Well, it's 3:30 in the morning.
I want what every man wants.

Breakfast.

And that's it? I go to breakfast
with you and were even?

No. Were not even close to even,
because I danced on a bar,

I took off my shirt,
and I unzipped my pants.

OK. Let's make a deal.
Breakfast and lunch.

- Breakfast, lunch and two dinners.
- That's four dates!

Which makes it the second longest
relationship I've had. Get in the car.

[laughs]

Oh, I hate to spoil your evening, but it
looks like were not gonna go anywhere.

[chuckles] Oh, my God.

It's hard to find parking in New York.

You ever eaten Turkish?
This is the place.

- Hey. How you doing?
- Hi, Kevin.

- Four of the regular?
- Sure, yeah. Hey.

- Hey, Kevin. How are you, man?
- How you doing, man? Good.

Here it is, man.
Flown in from Miami.

- Check out the merchandise.
- No. I trust you.

All right, all right.

Look, uh, I don't know
what you're into, but...

The Amazing Spider-Man
number 129, mint condition.

- Worth a thousand bucks.
- A comic book.

It's not a comic book. This is
the first appearance of The Punisher.

This is the holy grail of comic books.

You collect comic books.
That's so cute.

It's not cute.
It's very rugged and manly.

- It's just a bit geeky. Huh?
- I think it's sweet.

[Violet] So, do you always eat breakfast
on the hood of your car?

What can I say? I'm a romantic.

You think this is romantic?

Well, you may not be feeling it now,
but I think one day

you'll be on stage singing
a song about this very night.

Mmm. When We Were Downwind
From a Trash Barge.

Yeah. Catchy title. Hum a few bars.

Sorry to disappoint you
but I'm a songwriter, not a singer.

When I get on stage, I freeze.

What if the fate of the free world
rested on your voice?

OK. If the fate of the free world
depended on me singing...

...maybe.

All I ever really wanted
is to sit in the dark...

...and hear someone great
singing my songs.

I wanna be the one
who writes the music.

I remember the first time my mother
played me Bridge Over Troubled Water

by Simon and Garfunkel.

I remember exactly
what she was wearing.

I remember exactly how her hair smelled.
I remember exactly how I felt.

And every time I hear that song...

...I remember exactly
what she was wearing...

...and exactly how her hair smelled...

...and exactly how I felt.

'Cause the great songs last forever.

- So, what's the problem?
- Well...

...they tell me the only way
to get my songs heard

is to go out there
and sing 'em myself.

So we have to try fix
this little problem straightaway.

Hmm. And how do you propose
we do that?

Is there any place
you feel comfortable singing?

- The shower.
- We'll start there.

I don't care how long it takes,

how many hours we have to spend
in that shower. Let's get to it.

OK. Before we hit the showers,

maybe you could tell me
something about yourself.

Oh, really?
What do you wanna know?

What part of Australia are you from?

I'm from all over.
My family moved around a lot.

- Your family doesn't live in New York?
- Do you always ask questions?

Do you always dodge
this many questions?

At least tell me where you got
the moves you pulled tonight.

Well, if I told you,
I'd have to kill you.

- [scoffs] That's original.
- Oh.

The sun's coming up.
We're gonna be late.

Late? Late for what?

This is incredible.

Look at that fish!

All right. Put this on.
You're gonna need it.

Why? What are you talking about?

You're gonna help me
unload the next bin.

- You're joking, right?
- No. It's not that bad, Vi.

- I do it all the time.
- Exactly how many jobs do you have?

Tuesday through Saturday,
I'm at the club.

Sunday and Monday
I park cars at the Plaza.

I've been a telemarketer.
Would you like to switch to AT&T?

And for six terrifying hours
I delivered phone books in Queens.

Don't forget your
extensive work in fish.

This is an expensive city
and these guys pay cash.

I don't care. I'm not sticking
my hands in that fishy bin.

I was gonna split the money with you.
A hundred bucks apiece.

A hundred bucks?

- Wait, wait. Why didn't you say so?
- Thanks, Dan.

You're not ready, are you?
$50, $25. Ready?

- Ten. Ready?
- OK. Uh-huh.

Ooh! That's disgusting.

Hey, you'll hurt their feelings.
OK. Just on top of the other fish.

So, I know I just met you
a few days ago.

There's something I have to tell you.

You smell really bad.

Well, so do you. I mean,
I was gonna kiss you goodbye,

but, um, I thought I might gag.

You're a real charmer.

OK. Good night.

Good morning.

[cat meows]

Don't look at me like that.

Spend it.

- What are you doing here?
- I changed my mind about this kiss.

I think we should give it a shot.

Well, have a nice day.

"Have a nice day"?

Yeah. I panicked.
I didn't know what else to say.

Have a nice day.

- [dance music]
- [chatter]

Back of the line over here.

[♪ Lo Fidelity All Stars: Battle Flag]

Yeah! Whoo!

[both hooting]

Come on!

Whoo!

- Yeah, I like it!
- Yeah!

- Hey, baby!
- Make a hole. Make a hole!

Shit, the cops are here.

Nobody gets in. Look at this place.
Hey, Lil. I'm sorry.

There's nothing we can do.
You're 50 over max.

[Lil] Try to shut us down
they'll tear it apart.

Let's go outside and talk.
I'll take care of it.

Hey! Hey!

- This is not a gas pump, son!
- [shouts]

Wait your turn!

[shouting, arguing]

- No pictures, man!
- I'm a reporter from The Voice.

Yeah!

Whoo!

What are you doing? Hey!

- Put me down!
- Hey!

- Put me down!
- Cammie!

- Help!
- Come on! Let her go!

Rachel, help!

Come on! Break it up!

[shouting and grunting]

- Lou, where's Rachel and Cammie?
- I don't know!

[shouting, grunting]

Let me go!

[shouting, grunting continues]

Jersey, they're
tearing this place apart!

Jersey!

Rachel! Rachel!

[♪ Blondie: One Way or Another]

Let me go!

[singing along]

I'm talking about that!

Yeah!

[woman] Yeah!

- Great. Yeah.
- Last call, Lil.

- Start clearing 'em out.
- You got it.

Let's go.

[crowd singing along]

Whoo!

[cheering, singing fades]

Did you see their faces?
I mean, wow.

They all wanted you, honey.
Even the girls.

Not a dry seat in the house.

You guys, that was, like,
a one-time performance.

- Hmm?
- That I have to repeat every night.

Yahoo!

She sang along with a jukebox.
Let's not start polishing a Grammy.

Oh, come on, Rach.
She saved your butt. Admit it.

No. She saved me from kicking the shit
out of a couple of drunks.

- That's it.
- Ooh.

Ooh, that was good.

- Where you going?
- I don't know.

I gotta walk or celebrate or...

Ugh! Pass out or something.

[Lil] Hey, ladies and gents,

how about a big round of applause
for the singing Coyote from Jersey!

- So I'm a Coyote?
- Five nights a week.

Hey, what is it? What's wrong?

Why would anything be wrong?

Um, you called me in the middle of the
night and said there was an emergency.

What was that for?

I had a good night.
I wanted a good-night kiss.

Well, wait a second.
Where are you going?

Have a nice day, Mr. O'Donnell.

"Have a nice day"?

[hip-hop music blaring]

[music continues]

What's going on?
Why do we need my guitar?

You'll find out soon enough.
No. This way.

OK, now there's a seat.

- [giggling]
- Just there.

Uh-huh? OK?

Take a look.

Your fans wanna hear you sing.

I told you. I... I can't sing
my own songs. I never could.

Well, that's too bad, because
they've requested to hear your songs.

Be gentle on the keyboard.
I borrowed it from the club.

You did all this
just to help me sing?

I thought maybe we could cure that
stage fright I've heard so much about.

Kevin, I wish you could.

Come on, let me try.

Tell me what it feels like.

You really wanna know?

Yeah.

You asked for it.

What are you doing?

The only way I can show you...

...is to make you...

...really... nervous.

The first thing that happens...

...is my heart starts to race.

Good.

Racing heart. Yep.

- Got it.
- And then...

...my entire body starts shaking.

Shaking body.
I'm... I'm getting that. Yeah.

And...

...then everything gets...

...a bit...

...cloudy.

Clouds are definitely rolling in.

Then I start...

...losing control.

Well, how long
does this usually last?

Oh, it's been known
to last all night.

- That must be horrible.
- It's excruciating.

[giggles]

[drum machine playing]

[moans]

[music stops]

I think that audience got more
than they paid for, really.

[laughs]

[Kevin] What's LMS stand for?

Lynn Marie Sanford.

It was my mom's guitar.

She died five years ago.

She moved to New York to be
a singer when she was my age.

She came pretty close to the big time.

Well, what happened?

She hated the stage.

She said it was
the scariest place in the world.

Sounds familiar.

You really want me to sing?

Just tell me what I have to do.

[scoffs]

[sighs]

Disappear.

All right. No problem.

[♪ But I Do Love You]

[drum machine plays]

[singing continues]

If you wanna write songs,
be like a serious songwriter,

you simply gotta go with the Mac.

Laptop. You can lay your tracks down
on a blank CD and you're done.

Do you... Do you have
a payment plan?

[glass shatters]

[cheering, shouting]

Whoo!

[song ends]

[crowd cheering]

[Lil] Rachel.

Rachel.

[girl] Bring 'em home!

Good one. Way to be! Way to be!

All right, that's two now, guys.

Come on, Cammie!

- Come on, Cammie!
- Let's go, Cammie!

Come on, Cammie!

- Hey, Lil.
- Yeah?

I'll tell you what,
you got two out, bases loaded.

- How about we double the bet?
- Forget it, Earl.

- Cammie's my worst hitter.
- I know that.

Why don't we triple it?

All right.

- All right?
- All right.

Let's go, Tits.

- Hey, Cammie.
- Yeah?

Sure is a beautiful day out here.
Be a shame to waste it, don't you think?

Sure is.

[rock music plays]

Yeah, Cammie!

Get the ball over the plate, Earl.

OK, boys.

Show me those balls.

- Five, and there's your $600.
- Yes, sir. Thanks, Earl.

We'll put you on the schedule next year.

Yeah. You do that.

Yeah, Coyotes!

- [tires screeching]
- [man] Hey!

- [honking]
- [man] What are you doing?

What are you, brain damaged?

You know what kind of maniacs
drive through here?

They don't stop. Whose boat?

- I borrowed it from a friend.
- Yeah? Looks like a guy's car to me.

- How can you tell?
- I've been staring at cars

every day for the last 16 years.
Who is he?

He's a friend. I brought you a turkey
sandwich, no mayo, extra sprouts.

Thank you. Great.

I'm starving.
So, tell me about this bar.

Is it bankers having martinis
after work?

I gotta go. Look. I love you.

- I love you too. Be careful.
- [horn honking]

Hey, do I come to your office
and honk? Come on!

I got you a gig.

There's this club where
a lot of music people hang out

called the Elbow Room.

My friend's the manager.
He owes me a favor, and you're it,

next Thursday night.

Are you forgetting
about the stage fright?

Uh, what about the bar?

Come on, Kevin. All I do
is sing along with the jukebox.

See? You're making progress. A few more
nights at my place and you'll be cured.

I hate to burst your bubble
but I'll never be cured. It's genetic.

Stage fright DNA. Yes,
I saw that on ER last week.

OK. Laugh all you want, but my mom
couldn't do it and neither can I.

So was your mother afraid to try?

Look, I just wanna be a songwriter.
Why won't you give up on this?

I've been giving up on people
my entire life and it's a nasty habit.

So you're gonna sing
at the club or I'll...

Or you'll what?

I'll never kiss you again.

That sounds like a threat,
Mr. O'Donnell.

Well, let's just say...

...it's gonna be
quite a long, cold winter.

That's supposed to convince me?

It's working, isn't it?
Your knees are getting weak.

- I'll think about it.
- Try again.

Uh, I'll see if I can get off work.

You're getting warmer.

All right. You win. I'll do it.

Oh, I love winning.

[shouting, cheering]

[♪ Def Leppard: Pour Some Sugar on Me]

Whoo!

[cheering]

Hey, we have a special treat
for you tonight, boys and girls.

Look who dropped by for a visit.

[woman] Zoe!

No! I'm a paying customer tonight.

I have class in the morning.
What are you doing?

- Come on, Zoe!
- No!

- [bell clanging]
- Zoe! Zoe! Zoe! Zoe!

[♪ Kid Rock: Cowboy]

Time to get wet, girls. Whoo!

Yahoo!

Who wants some of this?

Excuse me, does Violet Sanford
work here?

- Yeah, she's on the bar.
- She's on what?

- She's on the bar.
- What do you guys say?

[all] Yeah!

[shouting, cheering]

Dad! Wait!

Dad, it's not as bad as it looks.

Daddy, it's not as bad as it looks.

I just sing here every night.

People come here to see me.

Say something!

The guys are putting your
picture up in their booths!

- I gotta go, get up early.
- Dad, it's just a bar.

- You can trust me.
- But you're my daughter.

Hi, you've reached Bill Sanford.

Please leave a message
when you hear the beep.

[beeps]

[Violet] Dad, you can't
avoid me for the rest of your life.

I have to come
and do your laundry.

We both know you're
running out of clean shirts.

I bet the one you're wearing
stinks pretty bad.

[sniffs]

I'm not gonna apologize

because that would mean
I'm doing something wrong.

And I'm not sure I am, so...

I'm playing at a club tonight.

A real club.

Someone important could hear my song

and next month somebody might
sing it on the radio.

- Wish me good luck.
- Good luck.

Anyway, um, I'll call you
and tell you how it goes.

Take care of yourself, old man.

- [phone hangs up]
- [machine beeps]

Old man.

You should be dancing on the floor!
I wanna see your bras!

[bell clanging]

Ow!

[♪ Stray Cats: Rock This Town]

I'm in heaven! I'm in heaven!

Think she's properly waxed?

- Oh, I'm sure.
- Oh, yeah.

Is this the greatest party
we've ever been to or what, man?

Lil, I can only stay two hours.

- What are you talking about?
- I gotta leave early tonight, remember?

- Bourbon.
- Why?

Maybe you haven't noticed the bodies you
had to crawl over to get here tonight.

I told you I gotta leave by 10:30
no matter what.

- Here.
- Got it. I got it.

Seven.

[DJ scratching record]

- Here you go.
- What are you doing?

I gotta go. It's half past.
Can you have Lou call me a cab?

You're not going anywhere tonight.
This place is out of control.

I told you.
I'm only working two hours...

You wanna sing? Sing for them.

These people dragged
their asses out here to see us.

This is New York and there's
a line halfway around the block.

That's something,
whether you believe it or not.

And if I go?

If you were going,
you would have left by now.

[rock music playing]

- Where are you?
- [Violet] Lil won't let me go.

Violet, just walk out. She doesn't
own you. You can still make it here.

I'm... I'm sorry.

- I'll call you tomorrow.
- [Kevin] Tomorrow?

Violet.

- What's the story?
- She's not coming.

What am I supposed to do?
I got a whole spot to fill.

I'm sorry, Richie. I made a mistake.

Whoa, this doesn't change
anything with us, Kevin.

A deal's a deal. Am I right?

[♪ Don Henley:
All She Wants To Do Is Dance]

- I'm the guy! Me!
- [cheering]

[laughing]

Zach, who said
you could be up here?

You're not supposed to be up here.

All right. Take it easy, Zach.

Zach, take it easy.

- Hey! Hey!
- [grunting]

- [shouting]
- Hey, hey, knock it off!

- Kevin!
- [Rachel] Lil!

Hey!

- [grunts]
- Break it up!

Kevin, that's enough!

- [man] Help! Stop!
- Lou!

- [yelling]
- [music stops]

- [grunting]
- Kevin, that's enough! That's enough!

- Get off me!
- [Lou] Stop it!

- Zach's a regular, he was having fun.
- Having fun with my girlfriend!

- Lou, get him out of here.
- You chill outside or I call the cops.

Out of my way! Move!

[Kevin] Let me go!

- Get the hell out of here!
- Hey, everybody, drinks on the house.

I'm paying. Get up here.

Kevin. Kevin,
what is your problem?

I'm sorry about tonight,
but look at this.

- No way Lil was gonna let me out.
- It's not about Lil.

- It's about you and this place.
- This is my job.

It's a sandbox you stick your head in.

- What is that supposed to mean?
- The place is a joke.

They don't come to watch you sing. They
come to watch girls shake it on a bar!

Would you have me
sing for quarters in the park?

- You'd be singing your own songs.
- I told you I can't do that!

So stop pushing!

I'm just asking you to try, but I guess
that's asking a bit too much.

Right. It's so easy to be you, isn't it?

You have no dreams, no hopes,
no chance of getting hurt.

When was the last time
you took a chance on something?

- Some of us don't have that luxury.
- Why is that?

Oh, right. We don't talk about you,
right? It's a big secret.

Come on, Kevin. Let's play a game.

I'm gonna guess why you left Australia.

- Doesn't matter.
- You... were in jail.

No, that's not it.

You have a wife and four kids in Sydney.
Am I getting warm?

Come on, Kevin. I don't have a lot of
time. Why'd you run away from home?

I didn't have a home.
Is that what you wanted to hear?

I don't have a family.

I mean, that's the big secret.
Are you happy?

Huh? Are you gonna
feel sorry for me now?

You gonna hold me close while I tell you
I had to change homes every two years?

I had a bad childhood. Big deal.

I don't need your sympathy
'cause I'm here

living on my two feet like I wanted to.

That was my dream.

And at least I did it
with a little bit of dignity.

And I didn't. That's it?

Just unbutton the blouse
and unzip the pants,

show a little flesh,
I think you can figure it out.

[car door opens, closes]

Go on in.

Your fans are waiting for ya
to crawl on a bar.

[engine starts]

[tires screeching]

I told you not to break the rules.

What are you talking about?

You and your boyfriend
making a scene in my bar.

A friend of mine inside
with a broken nose.

The rules were simple, Jersey.
I've fired girls for a lot less.

I can't have a boyfriend now?
What kind of stupid shit is that?

Hey! This place is my home.

I'm not willing to risk everything
I have on your personal life.

- It's business.
- This is not business.

I worked my ass off for you,
you're supposed to be my friend.

I never said I was your friend.

I'm your boss, and you knew
the rules like everybody else.

Will you stop with "the rules"?
It's a bar, for Christ's sake!

Then what are you so upset about?

[sniffles]

[♪ Please Remember]

[singing continues]

[song ends]

[♪ The Miracles:
Love Machine (Part 1)]

Oh, my God. Give me a bite.
I'm starving.

Mmm!

- Mmm, thank you.
- How does it feel to be Mrs. Molinaro?

- Mmm, thank you.
- How does it feel to be Mrs. Molinaro?

You know, I think he was a perfect
choice for my first marriage.

[both laughing]

- [Gloria] Mmm.
- [Bill] Hey, Gloria.

- Oh!
- Thanks for inviting me, uh...

I gotta go to work.
I'm on graveyard tonight.

- Thank you, Mr. Sanford.
- Well, it's not worth a hug, dear.

- It's only 50 bucks.
- Aww.

- Your old man's a ten, Vi.
- Eleven, some days a twelve.

- It's a beautiful wedding.
- No, you can't go.

I just want one picture of you and
Violet dancing together. Come on.

[stammers]

[♪ Elvis Presley:
Can't Help Falling in Love]

[Gloria] OK. Come on. Smile.

Are you really working
or are you leaving because of me?

You know I don't like to wear a tie.

Ha ha.

So this is how it's gonna be?
You're not gonna return my phone calls?

If you needed money,
you should have come to me.

I would have found a way
to take care of you.

Dad, you can't even
take care of yourself.

Hey, I am doing just fine on my own,
thank you very much.

Really? So how come
you're not wearing any socks?

I had a minor disagreement
with a clothes dryer.

Just face it, Dad. You need me.

And I moved out
and that's what bothers you.

No. No.

What bothers me...

...is for the first time in my life...

...I was ashamed of you.

I never thought that
would have been possible.

[telephone ringing]

[Violet] Hey, it's me.
Leave a message after the beep.

- [beeps]
- [Kevin] Violet?

I've just finished work
and in a few hours

I'm going to unload
three disgusting fish trucks.

I thought you'd like to come
and give me a hand.

- But you're not in.
- OK, OK, OK. I'm coming.

Or you're not picking up,
so I'll call back...

...because I'm hoping one day
you... will wanna talk.

- [dial tone]
- Kevin? Hello?

[sighs]

[thunder rumbling]

[phone ringing]

Kevin? Hello? It's me.

- I'm here.
- [woman] Is this Violet Sanford?

Yes.

I'm calling from
Riverview Medical Center.

We have a patient here by the name
of William James Sanford.

Is that your father?

[man] Violet Sanford?

- Yeah?
- Your dad's in recovery right now.

The car struck him
when he was walking to the booth.

His leg is broken and there was some
arterial damage we had to repair.

Other than that,
it's just bumps and bruises.

I'd say he's a pretty lucky guy.

Violet?

I told you, don't come down here.
It's your wedding night.

Oh, are you kidding? Danny's been
in my family for five minutes.

You've been in my family my whole life.

[crying]

[sighs]

[monitor beeping]

[moans]

Mmm, I'm sorry.

I love you... so much.

I never did thank you for the dance.

That's OK.

That's all right.

[labored breathing]

[sniffling]

My tapes. [sighs]

Come on. Just call him.
Just pick up the phone and call him.

[phone dialing]

[phone ringing]

[scoffs] Don't call him.

Told you, this place is a palace.

It's pretty late.
Are you sure you wanna do this now?

Well, here's my door.
No turning back now. Come on in.

Oh, you're so right.
This place is a palace.

- [Kevin] Would I lie to you?
- This is a great idea. I'm so glad...

[door closes]

- Nice strong pulse.
- Mmm.

Don't look at me like that.
I'm a sick man.

Eat what you want now,
but when we go back home

it's egg whites and Lean Cuisines.

- I'll see you later, Bill.
- W... Wait a minute.

What do you mean,
"until we go home"?

- I'm moving back.
- [sighs]

I couldn't do it.
I couldn't sing my songs.

- I was afraid.
- [sighs]

Do you know why Mommy quit?

Yeah, she told me
'cause she couldn't do it.

No, that's not it.

She wasn't afraid, Vi.

Your mother on stage...
Oh, she was amazing.

Then why did she quit?

Because of me.

Right after you were born,
she told me she wanted to quit...

...and I let her.

See, I knew how good she was,
but I never told her.

I loved her...

...more than anything.

And I just went on and pretended
that there was no other choice.

- Dad, it's OK.
- No, it's not OK.

I won't make the same mistake twice.
You're not going back to work for Pete.

I don't care what it takes. I don't care
how many bars you have to stand on.

You are not coming home.
I'm not letting you back in the house.

Forget it.

[sniffles]

Are you wearing cologne?

Hmm? No!

Oh, well, it's just a...
splash of Old Spice.

Where did you get Old Spice?

That nice redheaded nurse
gave it to me as a gift.

Then she asked me out for coffee.

I'm scared.

Are you gonna go on a date?

God, a date.

I better buy a pair of socks.

[giggles]

[drum machine plays]

[pounding]

[groaning]

OK. Come on in here.
Watch out for the... OK. OK.

[Bill screaming]

[♪ Can't Fight The Moonlight]

[track speeds up]

[laughing]

[Lil] OK if I eat here at the bar?

- Do you have a reservation?
- Uh, yeah.

It's under, um,
"cast-iron heartless bitch. "

Could it be under
"stubborn and pigheaded"?

Yes. That's the one.

I'll have a double water
on the rocks, please.

- How'd you find me?
- Cammie.

She told me about your pop.
I'm sorry to hear about that.

He's OK.

Good.

- So am I.
- Yeah. Yeah, I can see that.

What's good to eat here?

Lil, you didn't come here to eat.
What do you want?

OK.

I just wanted to let you know you can
come back to the bar whenever you want.

I appreciate the offer,
but I'm OK here.

I figured that. You were never a lifer.

I'm married to that bar.
Hell, I'd, uh...

...I'd sleep there if I had the guts
to walk around barefoot.

But that's me, you know?

I'm the original Coyote.

Just a small town gal trying
to make it in the big bad city.

"Small town gal"?

Piedmont, North Dakota.

You ever tell anyone that, I'll kill ya.

Take care, Jersey.

- [beep]
- You have one new message.

- [sighs]
- [cat meows]

One message in eight hours.
How pathetic am I?

[woman] This is Lyndsay Morgan
from the Bowery Ballroom.

Listen, we loved your CD

and we want you to play in our
songwriter's showcase next Sunday night.

You're on at 10:00 sharp.
So drop your music by the club

and the house band
can learn your song.

If you have any questions,
give me a shout.

See ya Sunday.

Here are the keys to the apartment.
It's all yours.

Thank you for subleasing me this place.
You don't know how long I looked.

- When is your boyfriend moving in?
- He's coming tomorrow from Boston.

It's historic, guys. This is the first
night I've closed early in three years.

Ta-da! Will you hang that
outside for me?

- Lou, you got that number?
- Yep.

So why are you moving to Chicago?

[sighs] I'll figure that out
when I get there.

- [phone ringing]
- Um, oh.

Hello.

[Lil] Hey, do yourself a favor
and look at page 137 of The Voice.

I can't believe your name is in
the paper. I'm getting this framed.

Dad, if you're not ready in
five minutes, I'll leave without you.

Keep your pants on, will ya?
I'm physically challenged.

[muttering]

I only got three rolls of film.
I hope that's enough.

Dad, I'm only singing one song.

Right. Better go get another one.

[man laughing] Hey, Bill.

My kid's singing tonight
at some club in the city.

She's a little nervous. Maybe you can
give us a one, two, three for luck.

You got it. All right, let's give it up
for Bill Sanford's daughter.

- Light 'em up. One, two, three.
- [bells ringing]

[ringing continues]

[Gloria] Oh, look, Vi.

- I can't do this.
- [tires screeching]

- Jesus!
- [cars honking]

Did I mention to you that I was recently
in a horrific car accident?

- I can't do this. I gotta go back.
- Violet, listen to me.

- Are you listening?
- Yes.

You have nothing to be afraid of.
You're already a star.

What are you talking about?
I'm a nobody.

If you're such a nobody then why did
I buy this off Pete for 20 bucks?

Why do you have that?

I saw it on the wall,
decided I wanted the first autograph.

Figured it'd be a good investment.
What are you waiting for?

I didn't spend three months in physical
therapy to ride to the state line.

You got me?

- Yeah, I got ya.
- So what do you say, Vi?

How about another U-ey?

[tires screeching]

You guys call that a one, two, three?
Now, let's do it again.

This time I wanna feel chills!

There's Bill again, back for seconds.
Come on now! Let's give him all we got!

- [ringing continues]
- [hooting] Let's go!

The only reason I came down
is to see her fall on her face.

Take it easy.
It's supposed to be a fun night out.

- Excuse me.
- Don't worry about me.

- Good evening, ladies. Can I help you?
- [all] No.

It's packed. The house band
has been on for 15 minutes.

If she's not here in five,
she's bumped.

- [tires screech]
- [man] Jesus!

Uh, now that were here,
I'm feeling a little nervous.

[Gloria] Thank you, Mr. Sanford.

Oh, probably just carsick.

Forget I mentioned it. I'm fine.
Have a great show.

Vi.

Get your butt in there.
Come on. We're right behind you.

Break a leg, sweetie.

[man] Ladies and gentlemen,

making her Bowery Ballroom debut,
Miss Violet Sanford!

[applause]

[rock music plays]

[cheers, whistles]

[keyboard plays]

I'm sorry.

[crowd chattering]

[♪ Can't Fight The Moonlight]

Whoo! Violet!

- Come on, baby. Shake it!
- Hey, pinhead.

That's what I'm talking about, baby!

Don't do it, Rach. He's a big guy
and you're still on probation.

Don't worry. Those classes
are really paying off.

[grunts]

OK. Let's give a big Coyote
welcome to LeAnn Rimes.

Tell me, what do you do when you realize
that all your dreams have come true?

You pay off old debts.

Volume 129.

The original appearance
of The Punisher, the one I cost you.

Thank you.

Lil, don't think your new girl's
gonna hack it.

[crowd chanting] Jersey! Jersey! Jersey!

Jersey! Jersey!
Jersey! Jersey!

[♪ INXS: Need You Tonight]

OK. In true Coyote tradition,
I'm gonna make every woman's night

and auction off the most handsome
little hottie in the place.

Violet, come on.
You can't do this to me again.

- Here he is, girls.
- [cheering]

[bell clanging]

Come on, Dad!

OK, ladies.
The bidding will start at $25.

See, nobody wants to do this.
What are getting me into?

Twenty-five dollars! [laughs]

You said you wanted a more active
social life. Come on, girls.

There's a lot of miles
left on these tires.

- Fifty dollars!
- Come on, Dad. Strut your stuff.

Seventy-five!

Whoo!

[crowd shouting, cheering]

Take... Take some of it off!

OK, put... put some of it on.

Yeah, baby!

- Whoo!
- Ninety!

Ninety-five!

- [crowd shouting]
- [laughing]

- Take it off!
- All right, Jersey!

[woman] Ninety-eight fifty!

- Whoo!
- A hundred!

- A hundred and fifty dollars!
- Sold!

- Whoo!
- Hey, I'm a Coyote!

Well, your father has no problem
with stage fright.

[woman screams]

- [both howling]
- [bell clanging]

So tell me...

...what do you do when you realize
all your dreams have come true?

[♪ LeAnn Rimes: Please Remember]

[♪ LeAnn Rimes:
The Right Kind of Wrong]

[♪ LeAnn Rimes: But I Do Love You]