Covergirl (1983) - full transcript
A moderately successful fashion model meets a wealthy entrepreneur who's determined to make her a superstar by controlling every aspect of her personal and professional life, but she's strong-minded and resistant to his methods.
[upbeat ensemble guitar music]
- How's this?
- [Photographer] All right,
let's try it again, kid.
This time, blow softer.
Good.
♪ You are my one and only
♪ Yes, you're my
one and only love ♪
♪ You are my one and only
♪ Yes, you're my
one and only love ♪
- [Photographer] Okay,
let me see the straw.
No, no, Wendy, try to
soften that cheek please.
You can relax now.
- Does it look good?
Am I doing okay?
- [Photographer] That's good.
Yeah, you're doin' fine.
Let's try it again.
That's good.
♪ Lately I've been listening
♪ When your sweet
lovin' speaks to me ♪
♪ A little surprise,
you opened my eyes ♪
♪ To all of the reality
- [Photographer]
That's good, thanks.
- Sorry, I'm a little nervous.
I had a rough go-see at
Balor's agency this morning.
- [Photographer] Oh yeah?
Was it an obnoxious
little dude named Danobe?
- Yeah, he wanted to
test the merchandise.
Like he was buying melons.
- [Photographer] Don't
take it too personal.
He does it to all the girls.
- Not this girl.
- [Photographer] So tell
me, did you get the job?
- What do you think?
- [Photographer]
I think you should
look at the camera
and be gorgeous.
♪ You are my one and only
♪ Yes, you're my
one and only love ♪
♪ You are my one and only
♪ Yes, you're my
one and only love ♪
- [Photographer] Marcus,
do you have that small fan?
We're gonna need it
for the next setup.
- [Marcus] Hang on a
second, it's just out back.
- [Photographer] Do you
do much work in LA, kid?
- A little catalog work
and an Emmy winning performance
in a carpet commercial.
- [Photographer] Uh
huh, so how do you
like life in the
fast lane so far?
- Let's just say I'm still
observing the speed limit.
- [Photographer] Well
I hope you don't mind
speeding back into this
because we're ready.
Uh huh, uh huh.
♪ You are my one and only
♪ Yes, you're my
one and only love ♪
♪ You are my one and only
♪ Yes, you're my
one and only love ♪
- [Photographer] As long as
I'm prying into your personal
life, tell me, are you in
love or married or both?
- A few close calls,
no Mister Right.
- [Photographer] Oh yeah?
Let me guess, tall,
dark, 40-ish, successful,
very handsome when
their eyes draw back.
- Sounds good.
- [Photographer] I thought so.
- Why, do you know one?
- [Photographer] Uh uh uh,
not so fast, honey, he's mine.
[laughing]
[upbeat ensemble trumpet music]
- There are 2500 shares.
Buy them, darling.
Thank you, Roger.
Someday I'll find a stockbroker
that can teach me something.
- Oh come on,
I don't think anybody
could teach you shit.
- Do you eat with
the same mouth?
- Mm hmm, smoke too.
- Oh,
thank you.
- You feeling all right, Avril?
- Yeah, terrific.
- Hey, what's Kit doin' here?
- I'm looking for my friends.
- Yes.
- Hey, Kit, over here.
- I think I found
them, thank you.
Thank you, hello girls, so.
[electronic whirring]
- So what do you think, huh?
- Cairo, I think you've
just been replaced.
- Oh cute.
What is that?
- Oh well, that's
a wise old owl.
Yamashiro brought it from Tokyo.
- Yeah well tell me, what
does the wise old owl do, huh?
- Take a look.
- Yeah well tell me, what
does the wise old owl do, huh?
[laughing]
Now that's impressive.
- I wanna be the
first kid on my block.
- Nah, it's too expensive
for mass marketing.
I told Yamashiro to go
back to the drawing board
and finish his 3D model.
If we can beat the big
boys to the marketplace
with this baby, Leisure 80
stock will jump off the charts.
- [Craig] And sweep
into America's hearts.
- Again, Blitzstein.
- [Craig] I can
see it now Sloane,
an owl on every bedroom ceiling,
recording tidal wave
conditions in waterbeds.
[laughing]
- Hey what are you doing?
- You didn't want your haircut.
- Nobody understands me.
- Oh, sweetheart.
He's misunderstood.
- Hey, hey, hey, a little
respect, all right?
- That's what you
got, a little respect.
- Wet his bed 'til he was eight.
- I'll stick that
in the bathroom
with you and then
we'll all know.
- Oh mister dirty, mister dirty.
[laughing]
- Wait a minute, we're
getting real tacky here,
I think just slightly excited.
- Pardon me.
- Who ordered that?
- I don't know.
Did you?
- I didn't order it.
- Oh god, what exactly happened?
- He's the worst.
Oh yeah, he's like that.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
- He looks like him.
The one in the middle
looks just like DeNova.
[laughing]
- Come on, could
happen to any of us.
It's not your fault.
- You didn't hear
Walter on the phone.
He was positively glacial.
- That's Walter, we
still put up with that.
- Look, it's easy for
you Tessa, you're on top.
She's in the $4,000
a day category
while I'm in a permanent
holding pattern.
- Listen princess, you can have
any dream you want if
you just wait for it.
- Hey, I'm not complaining,
it's just that I had a chance
to make a jump yesterday
until that arrogant
son of a bitch--
- Listen darling, if
you don't want him,
you just send him my way
because he's my kind of guy.
[laughing]
- Listen ladies, I
hate to break this up
but I have to go to the bank.
You know what day it is.
- Rinse day.
- That's right.
[mid tempo bass guitar music]
- All right, I'll set up those
speakers when I get
back, all right?
Okay Raoul, we're in
the wind, all right?
- Taxi.
Taxi.
- All right Raoul, this
isn't a driver's ed course,
will you move your ass please?
- One of us has to have a
driving license, you know.
- You're never gonna let
me forget that, are you?
Hey, why don't you remind
me to bring my glasses?
You're always forgetting.
- Oh yeah?
I notice you never
forget your cigarettes.
- Nag, nag, nag.
All right, all right,
pull over, come on,
stop the car, I'm
gonna drive, come on.
- Okay, okay, it's all you.
- I bet you're an
actress, aren't ya?
- Model.
Can't you go any faster?
I'm really gonna be late.
- Look, this isn't a
goddamn helicopter, lady.
Can't fly over 'em.
- Harrison, I wanna talk to you.
Look, everything's screwed up,
I'm running at
least an hour late.
So I want you to get on
the phone to Burt and Moss
and straighten it
out right now, okay?
What, what are you saying?
Hey, this is what
you're paid for, man.
- Cheers.
- Come on, you're a lawyer, lie.
[relaxed jazzy trumpet music]
[tires screeching]
[crashing]
[car horn blaring]
You guys ever hear of
Leisure 80 Enterprises?
We make home video
game computers,
recreational robots.
- How do you pull his plug?
- I'm the president.
- He's the president.
- Dude, I got it here.
- Sorry.
- Yeah see, this is the new
football game we just put out.
- Bought one for my kid
brother, didn't work.
- Did you buy batteries?
It helps.
Come on guys, drop me
off at the Four Seasons
in 10 minutes, I'll
tie the deal up.
I think we'll have a few
drinks, talk about it, huh?
- I've got more important
things to do, Mr. Sloane.
- I wasn't even talking to you.
- She's not your type.
- He's right.
- Well how do you know, huh?
Were you a father?
- She's more the Carey
Grant or Clark Gable-type.
- What do you think he is?
Liver chops?
- It's chopped liver, you.
- Look Mr Sloane, I
don't talk to you,
you don't talk to me, deal?
- You got it, sweetheart.
- Enough chatter,
we're almost there.
Who's gonna pay?
- Not me.
- Hey, it's her cab.
- Oh gentlemen, gentlemen.
- All right, we blew the deal.
I stalled them for about
three hours and they walked.
I worked on that deal
for about six months.
I don't know any other
lawyer that would've--
- Hey, let it go, let it
go, they'll come back, huh?
- [Harrison] All right
but the Birchwood Trust--
- I don't wanna hear about
the Birchwood Trust, okay?
Besides, I'm makin'
money, remember?
Anyway, I've got a clear mandate
to do whatever I
want with Leisure 80.
- Within reason,
Sloane, within reason.
You ever heard of hubris?
- Hubris?
Oh Hobris, didn't I go to
his bar mitzvah last week?
- A Greek word Sloane,
it means arrogance,
putting yourself above the gods.
- [Woman] Miss, your
cab has arrived now.
- Car ready, Ramone?
- [Raoul and Sloane] Raoul.
- Gesundheit.
- Hey listen, I'm sorry.
Why don't you let me
buy you some champagne?
- Why don't you go
dry out somewhere?
- Well I said I'm sorry.
- [Dee] Walter made me
feel so small, like a kid
who's forgotten their
homework for the 10th time.
- Well I know one thing,
you've gotta stand up for
yourself in this business.
- I'm telling you Kit,
that wasn't your fault.
- [Kit] Well I don't know.
- Hi, hey, is this your
friend Kit you told me about?
- Uh huh.
- Great, are you coming to the
movies with us tonight too?
- Movies?
- Oh honey, I'm sorry,
I completely forgot
about our plans.
I can't make it now,
I've got night school.
Listen now, next week, okay?
I promise.
- Okay, I gotta run now, my
mom's waiting downstairs for me.
Nice meeting you, Kit.
- You too, Topsy.
- Bye, Dee.
- Bye.
- So cute.
- Sorry dear, five foot
five just doesn't make it.
Choose a new career, next.
- You're all heart, Iris.
- Oh I know.
- You bitch.
You ingrate,
you somnambulistic slab.
- Eva, I don't
care what you say.
- Darling.
- Let me be, Walter.
I'll let the world
know about you,
you loathsome luntz
from lap land.
Go on then, see what that
French pimp can do for you.
- Zara honey, eat
anybody I know lately?
- [Zara] Minnie [speaking
foreign language].
- Minnie what?
[claps]
- I'm really sorry Eva,
I tried to explain
to Walter but he--
- Walter, that miscreant,
I've never hated anyone
as much as Dominique
Shariet, that little snake.
Why, I got him his green
card answering my phone
and he's systematically stolen
every girl from this agency.
- Well we'll never leave ya.
- That's sweet of
you to say, Dee.
But I'm afraid that models have
the enduring loyalty
of flashbulbs.
Not that I can blame you.
Ours is a brief season.
There's a first show
at Bloomies tomorrow.
- It's a job.
- A job?
Oh hell, Eva, she
deserves another spread.
Now that Zara's down the tubes,
why don't you give her
one of Zara's covers?
- Dee, how can you
talk like this?
Zara's body isn't even cold yet.
Let me finish
trashing her first.
Then we can talk business.
[electronic beeping]
- [Sloane] I've been giving
Harrison a hard time lately,
I figured I should
make it up to you.
- Harrison gives
himself a hard time.
That doesn't mean you
have to double date
with him and his preppy wife.
- Come on man,
she's not that bad.
She just didn't
have the advantages
we had growin' up in the slums.
- [Craig] Well I prefer to think
of it as fashionably broke.
- What about your date?
Her name must be Muffy.
- Actually, it's Bunny.
- Bunny?
- Yeah.
- Birchwood.
- As in the Birchwood Trust?
- You got it pal, the
granddaughter of--
- Well Lordy Lordy,
Master Sloane gonna save
the farm by marrying
the banker's daughter.
- 86 Cairo, huh?
Can't hurt to stay in tight
with Owen Birchwood, you never
know when we're gonna have to
hit him for another big loan.
That's her.
- Who her?
- The girl I accidented.
Who is she?
- [Craig] I don't know, a model.
- I'm telling you man,
there's magic there.
You find out everything
about her, okay?
- First thing in the morning.
- No, tonight.
That's your homework.
- [Kit] Hey maybe I could wear
this to your auction tonight.
- [Tessa] It'd be a big hit.
- Another gift from Chester?
- That's my beauty mask.
- [Kit] Where is your
ambassador these days?
- Oh Kuala Lumpur,
I keep getting these
strange messages from
foreign operators
asking me to hold on and
they never come back.
- Wish I could find
a guy like that.
- You have terrific taste.
- [Kit] Would you
ever marry him?
- If I marry anyone, it
will definitely be him.
And besides, I'm ready
to have some kids
run around the house
but it does make it
tough to jump off
to Kashmir or Bali.
You look great.
- Thanks Tessa.
[knocking]
Hi, Mr O'Rourke?
- Monseigneur O'Rourke.
- Oh, of course, Father.
- Come in, sister.
- Now then, the real
treasure of the evening.
A vase from the Ming period
obtained from the estate of
the late Gladys Filliping.
- What, what happened?
- The Ming.
Doesn't it just send chills
up and down your spine?
Absolutely top drawer,
don't you think?
- Oh it's absolutely top drawer.
- [Auctioneer] Let's open
the bidding at $50,000.
Do I hear 50,000?
I have $50,000.
- Excuse me, do you know
where the lady's room is?
- [Dee] Oh, oh,
oh Father,
oh.
[moaning]
- I can't breathe.
- Oh my.
[gasping]
Hey,
oh, oh.
Oh.
- Listen, I spoke with
Jacques this afternoon.
- Shh, Bunny, not here.
- He promised--
Why?
- I want you to work on Sloane.
- Must I?
- Mm hmm.
- Hello Cairo, you've
gotta get me outta here,
you should hear this broad.
Top drawer this,
top drawer that.
I'm out with the bloody bureau.
[knob rattling]
Hold on a second.
- [Kit] Help, excuse me, help.
- Listen, I'll call
you back, all right?
- [Kit] Hello, excuse me,
is someone out there, hello?
Excuse me, help, is
someone out there?
- Looks like a different house.
Hello, were you talking to me?
- [Kit] Anyone, I'm afraid
I'm trapped in here,
I can't get the door open.
- What is it, locked?
- [Kit] I don't know, I think
it's stuck or something.
- Well I don't know, it
wasn't locked for me.
[laughing]
You're a real hard
luck case, aren't you?
How come you couldn't
open the door?
- Come in here.
- Sure, I'll try anything once.
- All right genius, open it.
[rattling]
- [Sloane] Shit.
- Did I do something
bad in another life?
Out of nine zillion people,
I get stuck, trapped,
locked in a miniature
bathroom with T.C. Sloane.
- Not him again.
- Yeah, what happened?
- I forgot when you put
a lot of bubble bath
with the jacuzzi,
it gets kinda crazy.
- Dee, you wouldn't
believe this guy.
For an hour, I was stuck
in there for an hour
with that arrogant,
conceited, obnoxious--
- [Dee] I've never seen you
this riled up over a guy.
- I'm calm, wanna know why?
'Cause I've got a lock of
his hair and I'm gonna make
a voodoo doll and stick
little pins into his body.
- Stop it, you are not.
- No, then I'm never
gonna see him again.
Oh please God, please,
if you can hear me,
don't let me see
him again, please.
- It's all right, God hears ya.
[laughing]
- Kit used to be the Kringelein
Carpet Girl back in LA.
- The what?
Klaus Kringelein is the Carpet
King of Southern California.
Kit used to do his
commercials for him.
Then he fell in love with her,
wanted to make her a big star.
She freaked and ran
away to New York.
- This guy Kringelein
was no fool.
I've been out with some of the
most beautiful girls in the
world and I'm telling you this
girl, she's somethin' extra.
- Thanks a lot, T.C.
- Oh, no offense taken.
Osbourne, shake a leg, come
on, time for a little shan't.
- [Ozzie] Sorry Mr T.C. but
I have no legs to shake.
It is noteworthy that
champagne is best served
at a temperature of
45 degrees Fahrenheit
or seven degrees Celsius
and is best consumed
immediately upon pouring.
- I'm telling you, Kit Paget
is gonna be a superstar.
- When are you taking
her over, general?
She's a devoted member
of Eva Randall's court,
she wouldn't make a move
without their blessing.
- Now don't you drop anything.
What's their story?
- He's into orchids
and she dances
on the wrong side
of the ballroom.
Between the two of
them, they've managed
to flush that whole agency
right down the toilet.
- Oh yeah?
Oh, well maybe we
can help them out.
We buy in to manage Kit 100%
and we take it slow.
I don't wanna scare her away
with any of your
crazy stunts, huh?
- I don't know, Eva's a
pretty tough nut to crack
and she's cracked a lot of nuts.
[laughing]
- Listen, you go and
feel her out tomorrow
and then we send in
Harrison for the kill, huh?
Come here.
You missed Gary's
run-in, Jesus Christ.
[classical violin music]
- [Joel] Good, good.
Look at me again, good.
Show me some leg.
Come on girls, you're
getting paid for this.
Gimme some of that profile.
Good, gimme green Kitty,
gimme a profile, green.
That a girl, good, good.
Good.
Green, give me profile.
Good, get away.
Touch your earrings,
you've got beautiful earrings,
touch 'em, that a girl.
- Listen Eva, you're in trouble
and everyone in town knows it.
- Really?
I wasn't aware.
- Come on babe, Sloane's ready
to sink a fortune
into this girl.
Promote her, spread
my genius on her.
- God help us all.
- Hey, wait a minute.
- [Joel] Easy on the fog
guys, I'm shooting ladies,
not fog, for Christ's sake.
Good, good, good.
Touch your earrings sweetheart.
Touch your earrings,
that a girl.
Gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous.
Look at me goldie, look at
me, right into the camera,
that a girl, good.
- [Craig] So, what
do I tell Sloane?
- Why is he so
interested in her?
- He feels badly about
her blowin' the Cosmo gig,
he wasn't to make it up to her.
A million dollar apology?
Sounds fishy to me, Blitzstein.
Sloane's a businessman.
- And modeling isn't a business?
What did you agency
gross last year?
Better yet, what did Lauren
Hutton and Cheryl Tiegs make?
What did Zara make?
Sorry.
- And now, Kit is going to
show us a breathtaking item
that will turn any man's head
on those long winter nights.
[clapping]
- How are ya?
Hey, how much is the coat?
- The prices are all marked
on the programs, sir.
- Oh, okay, I'll buy
it, what else you got?
- Sonya, will you please
have Zara come out in--
- Oh, I'd like to see her again.
- But sir, we don't usually--
- Her.
- Get the coat off her.
- Hey, what is the
meaning of this, huh?
- Zara, Zara.
- Zara, Zara.
[speaking foreign language]
- Now I'm afraid Mr Sloane
would wrap my knuckles
if he knew the generosity
of my offer to you,
it far exceeds
what he suggested.
- [Eva] Well I think that--
- Let's stopped
this charade, Eva.
We're in trouble and
Mr Chandler knows it.
Maybe this is what we need.
Some real administration.
May I see the contract?
- Why not?
[clapping]
[whistling]
- So, are you gonna
buy this one too?
- How much is it?
- 14-five.
- Okay, I'll buy it.
Put it on the tab.
[laughing]
- All right.
What else is next?
- I wish they'd told us this
was gonna be a one woman show.
- It wasn't my idea.
- Well girls, at least
we still get paid.
- Why does he want
all these coats?
- Beats me.
- It is obviously the model
he's buying, not the coats.
- You're sweet.
- So for a cash amount and
5% of Leisure 80 enterprises.
- We will take 50% of the agency
and the management of
Miss Paget's career.
- [Walter] Why is Kit so
important to this deal?
Her earnings are
far from staggering.
- Well we feel that we can bring
a different thrust
to her career.
- And what is this continuity
of management clause?
- Should Mr. Sloane
leave Leisure 80,
this guarantees
that his successor
will continue to guide
Miss Paget's career.
- And is Mr. Sloane likely
to leave in the near future?
- You never know, one day
you're in, one day you're out.
[laughing]
- Oh, look at her.
[applauding]
- For 40,000.
- Wrap it up.
- That's it.
- I beg your pardon?
- We're out of coats.
- Oh.
Well,
ladies, that concludes
the most extraordinary
show of my career.
[audience applauding]
- I hope you know
what you're doing.
- You startin' with that
Hoover shit again, huh?
Thanks, huh?
- Wild Turkey, sir?
- Thank you, Raoul.
Raoul, go.
Oh yoo hoo, oh hello there.
- You're crazy, you know that?
- Yeah, I know, you hungry?
- Starving.
- Terrific.
I know a great little
place for dinner.
You're gonna love it.
Well come on, you only got
four hours to get ready.
Step right in.
I knew you'd see it my way.
Okay Raoul, let's
get in the wind.
[upbeat ensemble violin music]
[fireworks booming]
[laughing]
Anyway, they hadn't
any gross market yet.
So I figured we got a
really good shot at it.
The very next day I'm steered
over to Harrison Chandler
and he takes me over
to the Birchwood Trust.
The rest is history.
- Where do I fit in?
- You're my new challenge.
I'm gonna make you a star.
- My name in lights, showtime.
Are you prepared to
put that in writing?
[laughs]
Oh my god.
- Deal?
- Deal.
- Deal.
[relaxed violin music]
- What do you do for an encore?
- Come on.
[fingers snapping]
[fireworks booming]
[fireworks whistling]
[relaxed ensemble music]
[doorbell ringing]
- Raoul.
- Good morning.
- What's all this?
I don't believe this.
For me?
- Mm hmm.
- Oh god.
- Oh my god, what's happening?
It's not my birthday, is it?
This is too much.
They're not for me.
- Oh no.
- Look, I don't have
any time to talk
but I just want you to know
I'm launching you today.
When I put this deal through,
your face is gonna
be everywhere.
It's gonna be on TV, magazines,
billboards, holograms.
You're gonna be an institution.
Every girl in America's
gonna be dressed like you,
gonna look like
you, want to be you.
Yeah, won't you gimme some luck?
- Luck.
- Come over here.
- Oh god.
- I'm leaving.
- [Kit] Oh god.
- Somebody help that girl up.
♪ Hold the line, say it
♪ Say you love me again
♪ Say it, say you
love me again ♪
♪ I don't know just what to do
♪ I wanna spend all
my time with you ♪
♪ With you
♪ Every day and every night
♪ I love you more than
I ever thought I might ♪
♪ I might
- Well well well, don't tell me
you've come back
into the fold again.
- Ha, I spit on Eva Randall.
I am only here because
Delvin begs me to come.
As for you, you cost me a
lot of money today, Kit.
You can send me a
check in the mail.
- How about a plastic surgeon?
- Hey Zara.
So you left Cherrier already.
You're even smarter
than I thought you were.
[speaking foreign language]
Delvis, Delvis darling.
[smooching]
How wonderful.
- Time to meet
the press, Delvis.
- Excuse me.
- Hey Del, you know it's too bad
you didn't use Kit
for your cover, hmm?
What a face, such a
bundle of [smooching].
- You will excuse me.
- Oh, sure.
Juice.
- Not now.
- Now, come on.
You listen to Geppetto.
You don't do what I tell
you, you won't go too far.
[guests applauding]
- Are you two an
item, Mr. Sloane?
- I'd like you to
meet Kit Paget.
Now you be nice to
her 'cause a month
from now, you won't be
able to get near her.
- Oh, she's
gonna be that big?
- The biggest.
Right, Eva?
- Absolutely.
- Sloane.
- And she's modest too,
oh, you gotta love her.
Good stuff, pal.
- I drink the air before me.
- [Sloane] Well drink it faster.
[upbeat jazzy ensemble music]
- Whatever you've
done, I want it first.
- Joyce-y.
- Got any good dirt?
- Me, innocent little me?
- Can I just talk
to you for a second?
- Talk.
- Couldn't we go somewhere
a little more appealing?
I mean this--
- I got a thing for oysters.
- Yeah well, I remember.
Well look, I've been spending
a lot of time thinking
about us and I just want you
to know that I've changed.
- What are you laying
the strip on me for?
We had a fling, no
big deal, it's over.
- Joel, I am not
the sort of person
who can just in and out
of love that easily.
- Hi, Topsy.
- Hi.
- Where's Dee?
- I don't know.
- Didn't you go to the
movies with her tonight?
- No, I thought
she was with you.
- Oh.
- You're making such a mistake.
- You know, you really are nuts.
I'm gone, sweetheart, I
fuckin' vanished, wake up.
- Don't do that to me.
- Where have you been,
I thought that...
Who's that?
- Last year's model.
- Avril.
What happened?
- Wow.
- Nicky, how fast can you get
down and get a tight two-shot
of those two girls before
they split and back up to me?
Get going.
Blitzstein, you're
a bloody wonder.
- Why do you keep doing this?
You're humiliating
yourself, don't you realize?
- Okay, I think I just wanna go.
- Get outta here.
- Let's just go.
- Walter, darling.
Is that boy one of yours?
- Come on Av, let's go home.
- Go ahead, I'm just
going to tell Sloane.
[upbeat electronic music]
Sloane.
- Yeah, over here.
I have to l--
- I've been looking
for you all night.
We haven't toasted each other
since last night, to you.
- Hey, big time Sloane, you
wanna make me a superstar too?
- Do you mind?
I'm talking to my
client right now.
- Is that what you
call 'em these days?
Come on, dance with
me in the fountain.
It's good luck, like
throwing pennies.
- [Sloane] I'm gonna wear
my shirt dry tonight, huh?
- Chicken.
- Pretty--
[woman screaming]
[laughing]
Unique, huh?
That's a pretty crazy chick.
Dance it up girl, go
ahead, take it off.
This is...
- Hell yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That is it, nail
'em, nail 'em now.
- What are you up
to, you naughty boy?
- Just the biggest
scoop of the year
and you're gonna
get it exclusive.
Oh Cocky, Cocky, Cocky.
- Move along.
- What's wrong?
I thought we were
having a good time.
- You're having a good time
promoting your new toy.
I'm not one of your
robots, Sloane.
- Hey, let's talk about
this at my place, huh?
- I don't wanna
go to your place.
- Yeah but after last night,
I kinda thought that we were--
- What, is it like insulin,
you need it every night?
- Hey lady, I'm crazy about you.
- All right, there is
an attraction but Avril
needs me tonight and I have
a session in the morning.
- Yeah, but I kinda--
- In the words of the Master,
it's 86'd for tonight, Sloane.
- Well I just kinda
thought that, you know, I--
[door slams]
[relaxed violin, flute music]
- [Tessa] I understand what
you're saying but listen kiddo,
wake up, he's like all the other
revolving doors you
keep going around with.
- No, he's different,
really and as soon
as I get myself back in shape,
he'll be back, you'll see.
- [Tessa] Yeah, him and Nixon.
- Look Tessa, you
don't understand.
You don't know
Joel the way I do.
You don't know what we
had planned together.
- I only know you're hurting
and it's not worth it.
- Joel is a very
successful photographer.
I mean he's extremely
busy right now.
He doesn't have much free
time, I can handle that.
Look,
Tess, he's the first guy
that really loved me.
- Listen, I know Vacchio.
Maybe you love him but he's got
a light meter where his
heart's supposed to be.
- Please.
- No.
- Tessa, I need them.
- No!
Look,
maybe you should
get away for awhile.
Come away to my family's
place for the weekend.
- No, I don't think
I wanna go, thanks.
I think I wanna be
home right now, okay?
- [Tessa] Yeah, fine.
[soft electronic, violin music]
- From now on, Kit's gonna be
seen at only the best spots
'cause I want all New
York to see how beautiful
you are tonight and
starting this week,
I have your whole
future mapped out.
Acting classes, dance
classes, boys classes.
- I take classes now.
- With who?
I'm talking about the best.
Do you know what trouble
it took to get this guy?
I mean the man does not
teach private students.
- Oh, well that's a
great reason to go.
- Taekwondo?
- Yeah, those crowds are murder.
Right, Blitzstein?
- The man's on a hot
roll, don't cool his dice.
You know how you
succeed in this town?
You plug into your best
fantasy or your worst paranoia.
This is his fantasy
and he's loving it.
- Good evening, Mr. Cockridge.
A pleasure to see you again.
- There's Cocky.
- Who?
- Alton Cockridge, the designer.
I haven't seen him since I
modeled his fall collection.
- Oh, I'd kill to
model his clothes.
- You will baby, believe me,
if I have my way, you will.
Did you tell her yet?
- Would I steal your thunder?
- Tell me what?
- I had Joel Vacchio do test
shots of you for a layout.
He's the best in the
business, you know.
- Great timing, Sloane.
- What, was it something I said?
- Great.
- Well, I hope you're
enjoying my table.
- What?
Oh well hi there,
did you make it?
Hey, nice job.
You know I need some shells put
in if you got the time, huh?
- Oh, the dreaded Blitzstein.
Now I understand this
rather strange collection.
- You don't look too bad
on the glass yourself, pal.
- The butch voice that
speaks the vacant mind.
- Sloane, don't.
- Come Tali, we promised
these ladies a civilized meal.
- That's the guy you
wanted to work for?
- He's a genius.
- What a brave new world
you've led us into, Sloane.
[alarm clock ringing]
- Come on, time to get up.
- Let me get some more sleep.
- No time, we got a busy day.
Get up!
Come on, come on, come on
my sweets, move your feets.
A little road burn
never hurt anyone.
Come on, we gotta
get you in shape.
Pick 'em up, pick 'em up,
pick 'em up, pick 'em up.
Come on, pick 'em up, you can
do it, you can do it, baby.
That's right, stretch
'em out, stretch it.
Come on sweetheart,
come on, come on.
Just one more time around
the lake and you've got it.
We're gonna make you, baby.
Come on, come on.
Come on Kitty, go faster
now, that's right.
Burn it out, burn
it out, come on.
Come on, we're
gonna make it baby.
[relaxed electronic music]
- [Photographer] One
shot, come on, come on.
All right, all right, great.
More, more, more.
Another one, another
one, come on, come on.
- Please get in the car.
- [Photographer]
Look here, come on,
get a new one.
- Don't get in the car.
- [Photographer] All
right, one more, one more.
- [Reporter] Open
the window please.
Get to the window.
- [Photographer] Come on, a
couple more, a couple more.
Come on, one more, come on.
- You know, you look like an
unidentified flying object.
- Wait until Sloane has
me in bed with this.
- Great.
Smile.
Smile.
Gimme a profile, now look
at me with your eyes.
Smile at me, no, smile
with your whole face.
Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[camera clicking]
Great.
Look at me.
Gimme a profile,
gimme a profile.
Look at me with your eyes.
Great.
Okay, smile please,
smile with your eyes.
You wanna make me.
Look at me with
your eyes, smile.
Gimme some tongue,
gimme some tongue.
Yeah, smile, now smile with
your whole face, you want,
what are you, playing
games with me?
You're getting paid for
this, now gimme something.
All right, we slept
for the first session.
We're not gonna sleep
for this one, okay?
Now gimme a profile, now
look at me with your eyes.
Look at me, sweetheart,
the camera's over here.
Look up there with your face,
look over there with your eyes.
Now lick your lips.
Now smile with your
whole face, yeah, yeah.
Now stand up, stand up, now
flail that thing around.
Show me a little breast.
A little more.
A little more and again
and again and again.
That's good, good, good.
Whip me some more, whip
me some more, good.
Now whip me again, whip
me again, whip me again.
Smile, smile,
good, good, good,
good.
All right.
Hey baby, gimme a smile now.
Come on, smile for me.
Come on, look happy now.
Hey, the camera loves you, now
love the camera a bit, huh?
Cut the water.
Make my lens wet baby, open
up wide, I'm comin' in big.
Okay baby, let's
do something here.
You do it for Sloane,
how about me, huh?
- Okay Joel, sit on
that lens and rotate
'cause that's as close
as you're coming to me.
- All right folks,
that's a wrap.
- [Sloane] Hey speedo,
will you get this
thing outta reverse?
Use the sidewalk or something,
she hates it when I'm late.
Don't look at me like
that, turn around.
- [Joel] What's the
matter, did I scare you?
It's just I saw the way you
were looking at me
during the shoot.
- The way I was looking at you?
- Hey, you're hot for
me and I'm hot for you.
- I don't know what Avril
ever saw in you but--
- [Joel] Yeah, she
could never get enough.
- Joel.
- She got old after awhile.
- You're sick.
Joel, let me go!
God, Joel!
[grunting]
Where the hell is everybody?
- That wasn't very nice of you.
I'm not used to my girls
treating me like this.
- I'm not one of your girls.
[tense violin music]
- [Joel] Yeah but you wanna
be one of my girls, don't ya?
Huh?
Don't ya?
[slapping]
- I hate you.
[doorbell ringing]
Joel, you asshole.
I hate...
- [Joel] You stop.
- No.
Joel.
[banging]
Ow.
Help!
[Kit screaming]
- Joel, you slimy fuck.
[thudding]
[grunting]
I'll kill you, you bastard.
You like that, huh?
You like that.
That's right, that's right, yes.
Listen,
you gotta leave it
behind, you have to.
You know, such good things
are gonna happen for you.
Oh, I know it.
- I'm scared.
- It's
Timothy Clifford.
- What is?
- [Sloane] T.C., my initials.
- Can I call you Tim?
- Not if you wanna live.
- Why, it's a nice name.
- Because it was
my father's name
and he was a son of a bitch.
- How about Clifford, Cliff?
Cliffy.
[laughing]
- Forget you know it.
[robot beeping]
- [Ozzie] Ahem, ahem, excuse me
Mr. T.C., your coffee is ready.
- No.
- Cream or sugar?
- I have a daughter
that I've never seen.
- Cream or sugar.
- Shut up.
- How old?
- She's eight by now.
Her mother got remarried
and I didn't want
to stick my nose in.
Her mother didn't want me
to, so I gave up trying.
- You gave up, I can't
believe that one.
- What are you, a social
worker or something tonight?
- Why, am I not allowed?
Hello, Sloane residence.
Oh I'm sorry, he's unavailable
until late tomorrow morning.
- Oh, you.
[vacuum humming]
- [Ozzie] Beep, beep, beep.
Beep, beep, beep.
Move it or lose it.
Thank you.
- Good morning.
- Oh hi, I'm Kit.
- I'm Desi.
- How you doing, Desi?
- Poorly, poorly.
My feet hurt something awful.
Do you want some coffee?
- Oh, love it.
- Me too, why don't
you make us some?
[Desi giggling]
- Sure.
- The beautiful people,
our own Joyce Gorman.
- [Joyce] Thanks Tom,
well the Big Apple
has certainly been shaken--
- Thank you, Ozzie.
- To its core this morning.
Love has found Cocky at last.
- How do you like
your coffee, Desi?
- Got any cognac?
[Desi giggles]
- World famous designer
and an elusive bachelor
has been carrying on a secret
romance with fashion
model Kit Paget.
That's Cocky and Kit
exchanging a tender
moment together at Delpha's--
- Sloane.
- Launching and the
big news is that
Miss Paget is going
to have Cocky's baby.
- Sloane.
[robot beeping]
- Uh-oh.
- You sure do get around.
- Best known to Los Angeles
viewers as the
Kringelein Carpet Girl,
says she has kept the
secret as long as possible.
When interviewed at our
Burbank studio last night,
her former mentor Klaus
Kringelein had this to say.
- That's all I need.
- Listen,
we never sold so many carpets
like when she was here
and if she can do the
same for Mr. Cock-roach,
believe me, they'll have
lots more little babies.
- National Enquirer.
[Desi laughing]
- My favorite people.
- They'll be happy.
- And it's just like the
Mardi Gras around here.
- I'm selling the little
baby such a cute little
carpet with the rabbits--
- Hey listen.
- And the bunnies and
the little flowers.
I know they'll love it.
- Go to court for harassment.
[Desi giggling]
- [Ozzie] Good evening.
Oh, it's my pleasure.
- Craig did it?
- [Eva] Is this your
idea of management?
- [Sloane] Jeez, I'll
talk to you later.
- Cleaning personnel, why
have you seen the papers?
- [Desi] You are
on the television.
- Yes ma'am, I'm
in the television.
Look at this coverage, will ya?
It's better than I hoped for.
You are launched, carpet queen.
- You did this.
- Your obedient servant.
- Craig,
have you lost your mind?
- What's wrong?
She wanted dignity,
she wanted class.
Cockridge is like royalty.
[phone ringing]
He's like the Queen,
he is a Queen.
[Desi laughing]
- All right, now where the hell
you get off doing
something like that?
- Hey, that's my job, you've
always given me carte blanche.
You know, it's amazing what you
can do with two photographs.
What I figure is we'll
wait a few more days--
- [Kit] I'm not waiting,
okay, you're both insane.
- Woo.
[Desi giggling]
- [Kit] Enough!
- All right listen, I want
you to get on the phone and I
want you to straighten this
thing out right now, all right?
You tell 'em it was April
fools, you tell 'em--
- Hey.
- What the hell you want, Desi?
- I didn't get no coffee.
- [Sloane] Who do I
look like, Juan Valdez?
Nobody did.
- I never should
have made this deal.
Walter pushed me into it.
- [Craig] Hello, can I
speak to the city desk?
- Have I got this on right
or does it match my head?
- Here.
Look, I'll break the contract
if that's what you want.
- I don't know what I want
but right now I
wanna get outta here.
- Okay.
Okay.
- [Weatherman] And
there are plenty of dark,
heavy clouds
on the horizon.
- Be sure not to burn your toes.
- I don't know what
Kit's plans are
but I am divorcing myself
from this association.
I did not build up a prestige
agency in order to have it
turn into the laughing
stock of New York overnight.
- There's no sugar?
- You didn't ask for any sugar?
Oh Kit, come on,
don't leave, huh?
- Why shouldn't I?
You never told me I'd
be joining a freak show.
- [Weatherman] 80% tomorrow
and 90% tomorrow night.
- Ozzie, sugar.
- [Ozzie] Sugar,
coming right up.
[Desi laughing]
- [Weatherman] 29.7
inches and falling--
- [Sloane] What
are you, a hyena?
[playful electronic
carnival music]
- Miss Paget,
I'm here.
All right.
How did you find out?
- I don't understand--
- Don't play games
with me, Miss Paget.
I've kept this secret for years,
I don't need it blown now.
- Mr. Cockridge, I am as upset
as you are by all
these ugly al--
- Do you realize what
would happen to me
if certain men in this
city, I mean rich,
powerful men knew I was a fraud?
They'd find me in the East River
wearing pink cement galoshes.
I've already paid
for two abortions.
- Abortions?
- A common practice for
unwanted babies, are you,
you're really pregnant?
I've never seen so
many balls in my life.
- [Kit] I don't get it.
- I am supposed to be harmless.
I'm queer old Cocky, dear.
There isn't a man in New York
who wouldn't trust
me with his wife.
- You're a closet heterosexual?
- Shh.
[Kit chuckling]
I'm a fucking stud,
you see, I'm ruined.
You're about to flush 15
years of work down the toilet.
[Cockridge laughing]
It's crazy, isn't it?
- Classic Craig Blitzstein.
- Huh?
The dreaded Craig Blitzstein,
well I might have known it.
Well my dear, what do
you want out of all this?
- Nothing, I want the
story killed, same as you.
- [Cockridge] That's all?
No strings?
- I'll carry your secret to
the grave, cross my heart.
- And hope to die?
- No.
[laughs]
- I'm in trouble,
Sloane, I need your help.
Cherrier has just stolen
another three girls.
- What do you want me to do,
put a contract out on him?
- We'd like you to buy
back our 5% of Leisure 80.
- What 5%?
- That you gave us in exchange
for your share of the agency.
- We're prepared to let you
have it for 100,000 in cash.
We know it's worth a
great deal more but--
- Wait, what do you mean
Harrison gave you 5%?
Now why did he do that?
He must've had a good
reason, talk to him, huh?
[relaxed synthesized music]
- So Kit,
Sloane is now your
sugar daddy, huh?
Some girls have all the luck.
- Don't listen to her, Kit,
at least you've
got what you got.
Stand tough.
- And what does that mean?
- Oh Zara honey, you know,
I would just hate to cast
any aspersions on your honor.
You know, they wouldn't have
you on a stop herpes poster.
- People in glass houses.
- Mm hmm, come again?
I didn't quite catch it.
- At least I don't
do it for the money.
[women gasping]
- [Kit] Avril.
Come on, ladies.
- Shit.
- Avril.
- Where's her phone?
- I don't know.
Are you all right, hon?
- I don't know.
- Get back.
- What happened?
Get a doctor.
- Here, give her a toot.
- Are you--
[clattering]
You're crazy!
[Zara speaking foreign language]
- Do you understand
that Cockridge
publicity stunt of yours
really freaked me out, Sloane?
- I mean what the hell,
Blitzstein covered, huh?
You gotta admit it
was kinda funny.
- Oh, it's all a riot if you're
not the object of ridicule.
- You got a beef?
- Yeah, I don't want to be
handled like this anymore.
I feel like a joke.
- I just sank five million
bucks into a factory.
I'll be laughing
myself into bankruptcy.
- Well I'm not laughing.
Right now there's
nothing to laugh about.
I just saw Avril
taken to the hospital.
She's cracking up over that
maniac that tried to rape me.
- Listen, Harrison says we can't
start a line without
a name designer.
- So?
- So, so, so, they all have
their own lines already.
Calvin Klein, Alston,
Oscar the poo poo bird.
- What about Cocky?
- Cockridge, are you kidding me?
There's that night
at Le Toille, huh?
Blitzstein's brain wave.
- I can get him.
- This kinda reminds me
of a salad I had once.
Okay, all right, all right.
- Alton will be up
in just a moment.
One teaspoon or two?
- What?
- Your tea.
- Oh.
One.
- [Teddy] You're going
to love the designs.
- Oh yeah, that's great.
- It's all right Teddy,
we're not buying him,
you don't have to
count his teeth.
Hello child, how are you?
- [Kit] Great, how are you?
- Hemorrhoidal.
Do you want to see
some pretty pictures?
- Yes.
- Come on.
- Hello.
- Hello.
Voila.
- Wow.
It's very nice.
- I love it, I love
it, they're wonderful.
Look at this.
- That's really nice.
- Yeah, it's gorgeous.
They're wonderful.
I was thinking of calling
it Kit Paget's Pageant
but I was afraid it
might induce harelips.
[chuckling]
So I pinched your notion,
Mr. Sloane, Dreamworld.
- Great.
- Oh, I love it.
To Dreamworld.
- To Dreamworld.
- Dreamworld.
[loud buzzing]
What the hell is this?
- I thought it was for me.
- Sloane.
[Desi laughing]
What's with Fort
Knox in the kitchen?
I'm hungry.
- You ate lunch, you
don't eat 'til dinner.
I'm counting every calorie.
Your body is a major asset.
- [Ozzie] Some carrot
cake from Pierre's Bakery.
- Oh, Ozzie.
[electronic beeping]
Desi.
- Leisure 80 sales have hit
an all time high for
the past quarter.
- All right, excellent.
Would you have some
copies prepared for
the annual shareholders
meeting please, Cariyoo?
- Cairo, oh yes, yes, of course.
- Hey when is that, huh?
- Next week, Mr. Birchwood
by the way is thrilled
with our success.
- We all did it guys, huh?
And Kit.
Hey, wake up.
I'm sorry all the success
is putting you to sleep.
- What time is it?
- It's 6:30.
- I've gotta get
to the hospital.
- Hold on, we got a meeting with
the people from
Bullocks, remember?
- I haven't seen Avril
in weeks, I promised Dee.
- You're gonna
have to change it.
We're on a hot roll,
you can't let your
personal life interfere.
- Excuse me, God, but my friends
still come first in my life.
- That's not the way I see it.
- Then you better get
some glasses, pal.
- Am I too late?
- Yeah, visiting hours are over.
- Oh shit.
- Wow, you look so different.
I can't believe it's you.
- Where have you been?
We haven't heard
a word from you.
- You haven't let it go
to your head, have you?
- What the hell does that mean?
- I heard someone say
that at the agency.
- You don't believe
that, do you?
- When was the last
time that you took
one minute to give
any of us a call?
- What's with this shit?
I thought you were my friends.
- Come on, Topsy.
[soft somber electronic music]
- You look terrible.
- Thanks, that's just
what I need to hear.
- Well if you'd
made the meeting,
you would've been in bed
by 10:00 but no, not you.
- This show goes out live, so
if you've got anything to say
to one another, you'd best do
it in the next few seconds.
- [Director] Quiet
studio, roll camera.
Five, four, three, two, one.
- Kit Paget, the Dreamworld
girl, the face of the 80s.
T.C. Sloane, entrepreneur,
hustler extraordinaire
and some say the Svengali
behind Kit Paget.
Kit, what is it really like?
I mean what is it really like
to have your image plastered
all over the world?
- It sucks.
[Sloane laughs nervously]
- Kit uses these funny
little phrases sometimes.
What I think she means by that--
- I don't need an interpreter.
- Let's not come to blows
on the air, now then--
- Hold it a second, Claire.
I think Kit owes you and
the audience an apology.
She's not up to
scratch this morning.
- Oh, you're completely out of
your tree, do you know that?
You're on such an ego trip.
Just once I'm gonna say
what I think, just once.
If I only had two seconds to
myself, if I had some privacy.
Even when I'm trying to take a--
- Would you shut up?
- A nap, Sloane,
that's all I meant.
I respect your privacy.
You don't want anybody to
know what your real name is.
You want to know what
his real name is?
It's Timothy--
[Sloane screaming]
- [Director] Cut.
- What is wrong with you?
- Come on, come on.
- It's under control.
[slap]
- [Kit] Claire.
- Oh, great.
- Get outta here, I'll get her.
- Roll the commercial.
- Come on, Kit.
- Are you all right, Miss?
- I'll take care of it.
- Roll the commercial. Fade
out, roll the commercial.
- Miss Claire?
- Jesus.
[relaxed violin,
synthesized music]
[clock ticking]
[weeping]
- I heard your crying
and I thought--
- Just leave me alone, will ya?
- Where have you been?
- I took Topsy to
a film and then--
- No, you didn't, I called
Topsy tonight at her mother's.
She never--
- What?
Have you been spying on me?
- My god Dee, what
happened to you?
- Nothing.
- Who did this to you?
- A trick.
- Your phone.
Why Dee, why?
- I get my kicks this way.
- Getting beat up?
- No, that's never
happened before.
Look, I was sick.
- How long have you been--
- What?
A prostitute, a whore?
About a year now.
- Have you seen a psychiatrist?
- Yeah.
Yeah, I seen one once.
He fucked me in his office.
[soft electronic music]
[Ozzie beeping]
- [Ozzie] Wild Turkey
on the rocks, sir.
- Yeah.
Just what the doctor ordered.
Keep this up, I'll
buy you a wig.
- I have been so bored in here.
- I would've come sooner, Av.
I'm sorry I didn't, I really am.
Things have been
so crazy lately.
- Don't be silly,
you're on top now.
Look, I'm really
happy for you, Kit.
I should be so lucky.
I'll admit I was a
little jealous at first
but that's just
because you and Sloane
were doing exactly what
Joel and I had planned.
I guess I just didn't
have what it takes.
- Hey sexy, you better rest up
before you start chasing
around again, okay?
- Look, I'm feeling much
stronger now, really.
Kit, if you see
Joel, will you just
thank him for the flowers?
- Sleep.
I'll be back soon,
I promise this time.
[loud chattering]
- What was her name again?
- You gave her her first job.
- It was a pittance.
[upbeat jazzy ensemble music]
- [Zara] Happy
birthday, little one.
Zara has a special gift for you.
- I don't think I should.
- Oh go on, it will
make you feel good.
You're a big girl now, hmm?
- But what if someone comes in?
My mom would kill me.
- No one will come now.
- Oh, he's wonderful.
[laughing]
- Now [sniffling].
[sniffling]
Harder, huh?
Topsy.
Sniff in.
Why don't you mind your own
business, you Texas tramp?
[Zara screams]
[splashing]
- Now listen, you get downstairs
and I never wanna catch
you doing that again.
- I'm sorry but she made me.
- Get outta here.
[Zara shouting in
foreign language]
Ow.
- Nein.
- [Dee] You're really
pissing me off, Zara.
- [Zara] Then it's a fight.
I'm sick of you.
[shouting]
[Zara screaming, speaking
foreign language]
- Zara.
- [Dee] Shut up.
[screaming]
- Party upstairs, let's go.
- Tess.
- Zara.
- I had to tell you my news.
I've managed to get almost
all the proxies on our side.
- Excellent.
When will you have the rest?
- Harrison Agonistes Chandler.
You know sometimes I think all
you care about is
getting rid of Sloane.
You'll have Leisure 80.
I promise you.
- Top drawer.
[pouty giggling]
[people shouting]
- [Craig] Everybody cool it.
- Dee!
- No don't, get me out.
No, don't.
Take me to Sloane.
- Leave her alone, you creep.
[shouting]
- And they call it
the Miles Moore.
- Nobody's perfect, baby.
- Well I'm not finished yet.
- [Cairo] Hey, don't--
- Eva?
Eva, where are you?
- Oh Walter, must you
always spoil my fun?
- I just thought you'd want
to know that Avril
killed herself.
[gasping]
[soft somber electronic music]
- Can we get on with this?
- Sorry we're late.
- It's all right, Sloane.
I declare the
annual shareholder's
meeting of the Birchwood
Trust now open.
I'd like to make a priority
motion before you
read the minutes.
- What the hell
is she doing here?
- On behalf of the
majority shareholders
in Leisure 80 Enterprises,
we would at this time
request the immediate
resignation of T.C. Sloane.
- Just 'cause I
was a lousy date?
- And that the Presidency
be immediately assumed
by Harrison Chandler.
- Oh.
Now I know what was going
on in that top drawer.
You're outta line Bunny, you
know you don't have the votes.
- Well I have Birchwood
Trust properties
with me totalling
50% of the ownership.
- I have 45%, Kyle
has two and a half,
Blitzstein has two and
a half, that makes 50.
So it's a stalemate.
- You only have 45%, not 50.
Did you forget Eva Randall's 5%?
And I have proxies for them
here which gives us 55%.
- You son of a bitch.
That's why you gave
them the 5%, huh?
- Do you remember what I
said about hubris, Sloane?
The barbarians are at the gate.
[phone ringing]
- Now listen Harrison,
I just wanna--
- Kit, I am so
pleased to see you.
Sit down?
No?
Look, I just want you to know
the change of management--
- You can't get rid of Sloane,
he is Leisure 80 and Dreamworld.
- Not anymore, he's out.
- Out.
- Well so am I.
If you don't bring Sloane
back, I'm gone, understand?
- Fine, fine, I accept
your resignation.
Miss Birchwood
here is a witness.
We'll just have to
conduct a search for a new
Dreamworld girl which
should be worth about
a million dollars
in free publicity.
[smug giggling]
Oh T.C., would you
come here please, T.C.?
- [T.C.] Coming, Mr. Chandler.
I have two screwdrivers, tall
with a dash of grenadine.
[humming]
As requested.
- Thank you, T.C.
- [T.C.] Thank
you, Mr. Chandler.
[electronic beeping]
- Oh and by the way
Kim, sorry, Kit,
you do realize that your
contract prevents you
from seeking employment
elsewhere for 18 months.
You know I think that
you should get some rest.
All this has been
very grueling for you.
[chuckling]
T.C., you can go now, thank you.
- That son of a bitch
Harrison wants to play dirty,
he doesn't know what dirty is.
- But how can we--
- Listen,
I've got it all worked out.
We're gonna play his game.
The first thing we're gonna do
is call a new board meeting.
Now didn't you tell me that
Lucius Cathcart was
Chester's cousin?
- Why, you clever little--
- I want you to get
Chester on the phone right away.
- [Dee] But he's in
Swaziland, it's almost--
- Just get him on the phone.
- No operator, Swaziland.
- You think they're done?
- Would you come
on, Betty Crocker.
- [Craig] It's a hop
hop over, my love.
- Now Dee, I want you to
get the goods on Harrison.
- Okay, I don't know a
damn thing about business.
- This kind of business
is second nature, honey.
- Chester, darling, I
know it's the middle
of the night but I need you
to call Lucius Cathcart.
- I'm not leaving until
I have those proxies.
Hold the calls.
- [Walter] We've released
them to Harrison Chandler.
- You'll reassign them right now
or I'll pull down the
pillars of this agency.
You've got enough trouble
with Dominique's raids.
How would you feel if
Tessa, Dee and I walked out?
- Get the Leisure 80
papers, Walter, please.
My my,
we're a big girl now, aren't we?
- She did all that for me?
- [Craig] She loves you, buddy.
- Hi.
- How'd you get in here?
- You've just got
one of the sweetest
little security
guards downstairs.
I told him you
were expecting me.
- You did?
- Uh-huh.
I don't know Harrison,
is it hot enough for you?
I swear to God,
this just gotta be
one of the hottest
nights in the year.
I can barely stand
to have clothes
on my body when
it gets this way.
- Oh really?
- [T.C.] Here are
the books you asked.
- [Harrison] T.C.
- Well.
[Dee giggles]
- Go back to the library, T.C.
I don't feel like
reading tonight.
You like books, you read 'em.
- Goodnight, sir.
- Goodnight.
- [T.C.] Don't let
the bedbugs bite.
- Listen, I hear you're looking
for a new Dreamworld girl.
- Well as a matter of
fact, we might [chuckles].
- I sure do hope that I could
get the first crack at it.
- Crack, well I don't see why
you shouldn't have
a crack at it.
- Oh, well that's just great.
That's all I wanted.
I guess.
- Wait a minute, Miss, what
the hell is her name anyway?
What size are you, I mean
what's your dress size?
Would you like to come
and try out a few things?
- Oh yeah, sure,
I'll try anything.
- Yeah?
Well here we are.
- Oh, would you like some music?
- Why not?
- All right.
♪ Whatever you want
♪ It's just a dream away
♪ Whatever you need
♪ It's just a dream away
- What time is it?
- 8:30.
- Ah ladies, the sweet
smell of victory.
- Did you get it?
- Yeah.
- Dee!
[smooching]
I gotta see this.
- That's great.
- [T.C.] Good morning sir,
here are the
refreshments you ordered.
Your secretary stole
a newspaper from me
but the headlines
state that the stock
market is up two and
half points and--
- Good morning, T.C.
- Good morning, sir.
- [Secretary] Mr. Harris.
- And--
- Yes?
- [Secretary] They are waiting
for you in the
demonstration room.
- Who are?
- [Secretary] All the
members of the board, sir.
- [T.C.] A big day when
the shadows are forecast.
There is no board meeting
scheduled this morning, sir.
But good luck anyway.
- Thank you, T.C.
- Anytime.
- Why wasn't I given any
notice of this meeting?
- [Board Member] Sorry
Harrison, I thought you knew
Lucius asked us all to
be here this morning.
All the members of the board.
- If this meeting is
for board members only,
what are they doing here?
- Well the bank decided
that the combination
of Miss Montgomery's
business expertise
and her modeling
experience would make her
an invaluable member of
the Board of Directors.
- Do I sense a
conspiracy in the air?
- Absolutely, Harrison,
we've got the 50% back.
- You only have 45.
- As of yesterday, I
represent Eva's proxies.
- Assuming it is 50-50,
it's not gonna be that
easy to get me out.
I am still President.
- We'd like to show you a little
something that might
change your mind, Harry.
You watch too, Bunny, all right?
[Harrison laughing]
- I wonder where your wife
thinks you are right now.
- Slaving away at my desk.
Poor old Meredith, she's
as thick as a brush.
She's almost as dumb as Bunny.
- [Dee] You know I
never could figure out
what you were doing
with that Bunny,
what was it, Bridgette, Butt?
- It's funny.
[Harrison laughing]
- Well you are a real wildcat.
[Dee meowing]
- It's just politics
Dee, it's politics.
You see, I had to find some way
to get to that boring old
goat grandfather of hers.
He's a bigger fool than she is.
- You really aren't
well, are you Harrison?
- Do you know
what it was like
to sleep with that
lock-jawed bore?
Did you know that
she [chuckling],
she even lisps when she snores.
- Hmm?
- That giggle.
- Yes.
- That giggle.
And all to to keep
that boring old--
[shattering]
Birchwood Trust happy.
Once more unto the
breach, dear friends.
That's Shakespeare,
Dee, Shakespeare.
- Shut up, Harry.
- All righty.
[laughing]
- All right.
- Okay momma, you did it.
- Bernard, Miss Paget
asked me to meet her here.
- Ah yes Mr. Sloane, I
have your table for you.
- I'm glad you
could squeeze me in.
- Always a pleasure, T.C.
- Thanks.
- May I get you a drink?
- The usual.
- Wild Turkey?
- You got it.
[fingers snapping]
[relaxed ensemble music]
Oh.
[Sloane laughs]
- Now we're even.
- [Sloane] Hey wait
a minute, that's it?
- What else would you like?
- What about us?
I need you, Kit.
I love you.
- Finally.
- Yeah.
I do.
- I saw that headdress
you're wearing.
- Yeah?
- It's fabulous.
- You like it?
- Yeah.
- So how's Kit doing?
- She's petrified.
- And don't forget
to wait for that
extra beat in the music
before you go, all right?
- Tim, you're driving me
crazy, please get outta here.
- Get outta here?
I put this whole thing together.
My reputation, my credibility,
my bank account is riding
on this thing, huh?
- Tessa, throw him out.
- Yeah, come on Sloane.
- Dream on, you can't
throw me outta here.
- I can.
- What?
- Come on T.C., be a
good little wood nymph
and let these slave-queens
get on with their thing.
[relaxed guitar music]
- Music, what the hell are
they starting the music for?
- Go and be a
witness to history.
Teddy, show him the way.
- Oh it's okay, I'll go.
- I promised you one.
- I thank you, Cocky.
[jazzy ensemble music]
♪ You are my one and only
♪ Yes, you're my
one and only love ♪
♪ Everyone's talking
♪ About the dream to come
♪ Went searching
♪ Babe, been lost all along
♪ But lately I've
been listening ♪
♪ When your sweet
lovin' speaks to me ♪
♪ A little surprise,
you opened my eyes ♪
♪ To all of the reality
♪ 'Cause you are
my one and only ♪
♪ Yes, you're my
one and only love ♪
♪ You gave me reason
♪ To give a damn about myself
♪ I truly believe there
was no one, no one else ♪
♪ You've found your woman
♪ I've found my
everlasting man ♪
♪ No need to fight it
♪ We've got it right
♪ As long as we're
hand in hand ♪
[upbeat jazzy ensemble music]
♪ You are my one and only
♪ Yes, you're my
one and only love ♪
♪ Love
[audience cheering]
[upbeat jazzy ensemble music]
♪ You are my one and only
♪ Yes, you're my
one and only love ♪
♪ You are my one and only
♪ Yes, you're my
one and only love ♪
♪ Everyone's talking
♪ About a dream to come
♪ Went searching
♪ Babe, been lost all along
♪ But lately I've
been listening ♪
♪ When your sweet
lovin' speaks to me ♪
♪ A little surprise,
you opened my eyes ♪
♪ To all of the reality
♪ 'Cause you are
my one and only ♪
♪ Yes, you're my
one and only love ♪
♪ You are my one and only
♪ Yes, you're my
one and only love ♪
♪ You gave me reason
♪ To give a damn about myself
♪ I truly believe
there is no one else ♪
♪ You've found your woman
♪ I've found my
everlasting man ♪
♪ No need to fight
it, we got it right ♪
♪ As long as we're
hand in hand ♪
[upbeat jazzy ensemble music]
♪ You are my one and only
♪ Yes, you're my
one and only love ♪
♪ You are my one and only
♪ Yes, you're my
one and only love ♪
♪ Love
- How's this?
- [Photographer] All right,
let's try it again, kid.
This time, blow softer.
Good.
♪ You are my one and only
♪ Yes, you're my
one and only love ♪
♪ You are my one and only
♪ Yes, you're my
one and only love ♪
- [Photographer] Okay,
let me see the straw.
No, no, Wendy, try to
soften that cheek please.
You can relax now.
- Does it look good?
Am I doing okay?
- [Photographer] That's good.
Yeah, you're doin' fine.
Let's try it again.
That's good.
♪ Lately I've been listening
♪ When your sweet
lovin' speaks to me ♪
♪ A little surprise,
you opened my eyes ♪
♪ To all of the reality
- [Photographer]
That's good, thanks.
- Sorry, I'm a little nervous.
I had a rough go-see at
Balor's agency this morning.
- [Photographer] Oh yeah?
Was it an obnoxious
little dude named Danobe?
- Yeah, he wanted to
test the merchandise.
Like he was buying melons.
- [Photographer] Don't
take it too personal.
He does it to all the girls.
- Not this girl.
- [Photographer] So tell
me, did you get the job?
- What do you think?
- [Photographer]
I think you should
look at the camera
and be gorgeous.
♪ You are my one and only
♪ Yes, you're my
one and only love ♪
♪ You are my one and only
♪ Yes, you're my
one and only love ♪
- [Photographer] Marcus,
do you have that small fan?
We're gonna need it
for the next setup.
- [Marcus] Hang on a
second, it's just out back.
- [Photographer] Do you
do much work in LA, kid?
- A little catalog work
and an Emmy winning performance
in a carpet commercial.
- [Photographer] Uh
huh, so how do you
like life in the
fast lane so far?
- Let's just say I'm still
observing the speed limit.
- [Photographer] Well
I hope you don't mind
speeding back into this
because we're ready.
Uh huh, uh huh.
♪ You are my one and only
♪ Yes, you're my
one and only love ♪
♪ You are my one and only
♪ Yes, you're my
one and only love ♪
- [Photographer] As long as
I'm prying into your personal
life, tell me, are you in
love or married or both?
- A few close calls,
no Mister Right.
- [Photographer] Oh yeah?
Let me guess, tall,
dark, 40-ish, successful,
very handsome when
their eyes draw back.
- Sounds good.
- [Photographer] I thought so.
- Why, do you know one?
- [Photographer] Uh uh uh,
not so fast, honey, he's mine.
[laughing]
[upbeat ensemble trumpet music]
- There are 2500 shares.
Buy them, darling.
Thank you, Roger.
Someday I'll find a stockbroker
that can teach me something.
- Oh come on,
I don't think anybody
could teach you shit.
- Do you eat with
the same mouth?
- Mm hmm, smoke too.
- Oh,
thank you.
- You feeling all right, Avril?
- Yeah, terrific.
- Hey, what's Kit doin' here?
- I'm looking for my friends.
- Yes.
- Hey, Kit, over here.
- I think I found
them, thank you.
Thank you, hello girls, so.
[electronic whirring]
- So what do you think, huh?
- Cairo, I think you've
just been replaced.
- Oh cute.
What is that?
- Oh well, that's
a wise old owl.
Yamashiro brought it from Tokyo.
- Yeah well tell me, what
does the wise old owl do, huh?
- Take a look.
- Yeah well tell me, what
does the wise old owl do, huh?
[laughing]
Now that's impressive.
- I wanna be the
first kid on my block.
- Nah, it's too expensive
for mass marketing.
I told Yamashiro to go
back to the drawing board
and finish his 3D model.
If we can beat the big
boys to the marketplace
with this baby, Leisure 80
stock will jump off the charts.
- [Craig] And sweep
into America's hearts.
- Again, Blitzstein.
- [Craig] I can
see it now Sloane,
an owl on every bedroom ceiling,
recording tidal wave
conditions in waterbeds.
[laughing]
- Hey what are you doing?
- You didn't want your haircut.
- Nobody understands me.
- Oh, sweetheart.
He's misunderstood.
- Hey, hey, hey, a little
respect, all right?
- That's what you
got, a little respect.
- Wet his bed 'til he was eight.
- I'll stick that
in the bathroom
with you and then
we'll all know.
- Oh mister dirty, mister dirty.
[laughing]
- Wait a minute, we're
getting real tacky here,
I think just slightly excited.
- Pardon me.
- Who ordered that?
- I don't know.
Did you?
- I didn't order it.
- Oh god, what exactly happened?
- He's the worst.
Oh yeah, he's like that.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
- He looks like him.
The one in the middle
looks just like DeNova.
[laughing]
- Come on, could
happen to any of us.
It's not your fault.
- You didn't hear
Walter on the phone.
He was positively glacial.
- That's Walter, we
still put up with that.
- Look, it's easy for
you Tessa, you're on top.
She's in the $4,000
a day category
while I'm in a permanent
holding pattern.
- Listen princess, you can have
any dream you want if
you just wait for it.
- Hey, I'm not complaining,
it's just that I had a chance
to make a jump yesterday
until that arrogant
son of a bitch--
- Listen darling, if
you don't want him,
you just send him my way
because he's my kind of guy.
[laughing]
- Listen ladies, I
hate to break this up
but I have to go to the bank.
You know what day it is.
- Rinse day.
- That's right.
[mid tempo bass guitar music]
- All right, I'll set up those
speakers when I get
back, all right?
Okay Raoul, we're in
the wind, all right?
- Taxi.
Taxi.
- All right Raoul, this
isn't a driver's ed course,
will you move your ass please?
- One of us has to have a
driving license, you know.
- You're never gonna let
me forget that, are you?
Hey, why don't you remind
me to bring my glasses?
You're always forgetting.
- Oh yeah?
I notice you never
forget your cigarettes.
- Nag, nag, nag.
All right, all right,
pull over, come on,
stop the car, I'm
gonna drive, come on.
- Okay, okay, it's all you.
- I bet you're an
actress, aren't ya?
- Model.
Can't you go any faster?
I'm really gonna be late.
- Look, this isn't a
goddamn helicopter, lady.
Can't fly over 'em.
- Harrison, I wanna talk to you.
Look, everything's screwed up,
I'm running at
least an hour late.
So I want you to get on
the phone to Burt and Moss
and straighten it
out right now, okay?
What, what are you saying?
Hey, this is what
you're paid for, man.
- Cheers.
- Come on, you're a lawyer, lie.
[relaxed jazzy trumpet music]
[tires screeching]
[crashing]
[car horn blaring]
You guys ever hear of
Leisure 80 Enterprises?
We make home video
game computers,
recreational robots.
- How do you pull his plug?
- I'm the president.
- He's the president.
- Dude, I got it here.
- Sorry.
- Yeah see, this is the new
football game we just put out.
- Bought one for my kid
brother, didn't work.
- Did you buy batteries?
It helps.
Come on guys, drop me
off at the Four Seasons
in 10 minutes, I'll
tie the deal up.
I think we'll have a few
drinks, talk about it, huh?
- I've got more important
things to do, Mr. Sloane.
- I wasn't even talking to you.
- She's not your type.
- He's right.
- Well how do you know, huh?
Were you a father?
- She's more the Carey
Grant or Clark Gable-type.
- What do you think he is?
Liver chops?
- It's chopped liver, you.
- Look Mr Sloane, I
don't talk to you,
you don't talk to me, deal?
- You got it, sweetheart.
- Enough chatter,
we're almost there.
Who's gonna pay?
- Not me.
- Hey, it's her cab.
- Oh gentlemen, gentlemen.
- All right, we blew the deal.
I stalled them for about
three hours and they walked.
I worked on that deal
for about six months.
I don't know any other
lawyer that would've--
- Hey, let it go, let it
go, they'll come back, huh?
- [Harrison] All right
but the Birchwood Trust--
- I don't wanna hear about
the Birchwood Trust, okay?
Besides, I'm makin'
money, remember?
Anyway, I've got a clear mandate
to do whatever I
want with Leisure 80.
- Within reason,
Sloane, within reason.
You ever heard of hubris?
- Hubris?
Oh Hobris, didn't I go to
his bar mitzvah last week?
- A Greek word Sloane,
it means arrogance,
putting yourself above the gods.
- [Woman] Miss, your
cab has arrived now.
- Car ready, Ramone?
- [Raoul and Sloane] Raoul.
- Gesundheit.
- Hey listen, I'm sorry.
Why don't you let me
buy you some champagne?
- Why don't you go
dry out somewhere?
- Well I said I'm sorry.
- [Dee] Walter made me
feel so small, like a kid
who's forgotten their
homework for the 10th time.
- Well I know one thing,
you've gotta stand up for
yourself in this business.
- I'm telling you Kit,
that wasn't your fault.
- [Kit] Well I don't know.
- Hi, hey, is this your
friend Kit you told me about?
- Uh huh.
- Great, are you coming to the
movies with us tonight too?
- Movies?
- Oh honey, I'm sorry,
I completely forgot
about our plans.
I can't make it now,
I've got night school.
Listen now, next week, okay?
I promise.
- Okay, I gotta run now, my
mom's waiting downstairs for me.
Nice meeting you, Kit.
- You too, Topsy.
- Bye, Dee.
- Bye.
- So cute.
- Sorry dear, five foot
five just doesn't make it.
Choose a new career, next.
- You're all heart, Iris.
- Oh I know.
- You bitch.
You ingrate,
you somnambulistic slab.
- Eva, I don't
care what you say.
- Darling.
- Let me be, Walter.
I'll let the world
know about you,
you loathsome luntz
from lap land.
Go on then, see what that
French pimp can do for you.
- Zara honey, eat
anybody I know lately?
- [Zara] Minnie [speaking
foreign language].
- Minnie what?
[claps]
- I'm really sorry Eva,
I tried to explain
to Walter but he--
- Walter, that miscreant,
I've never hated anyone
as much as Dominique
Shariet, that little snake.
Why, I got him his green
card answering my phone
and he's systematically stolen
every girl from this agency.
- Well we'll never leave ya.
- That's sweet of
you to say, Dee.
But I'm afraid that models have
the enduring loyalty
of flashbulbs.
Not that I can blame you.
Ours is a brief season.
There's a first show
at Bloomies tomorrow.
- It's a job.
- A job?
Oh hell, Eva, she
deserves another spread.
Now that Zara's down the tubes,
why don't you give her
one of Zara's covers?
- Dee, how can you
talk like this?
Zara's body isn't even cold yet.
Let me finish
trashing her first.
Then we can talk business.
[electronic beeping]
- [Sloane] I've been giving
Harrison a hard time lately,
I figured I should
make it up to you.
- Harrison gives
himself a hard time.
That doesn't mean you
have to double date
with him and his preppy wife.
- Come on man,
she's not that bad.
She just didn't
have the advantages
we had growin' up in the slums.
- [Craig] Well I prefer to think
of it as fashionably broke.
- What about your date?
Her name must be Muffy.
- Actually, it's Bunny.
- Bunny?
- Yeah.
- Birchwood.
- As in the Birchwood Trust?
- You got it pal, the
granddaughter of--
- Well Lordy Lordy,
Master Sloane gonna save
the farm by marrying
the banker's daughter.
- 86 Cairo, huh?
Can't hurt to stay in tight
with Owen Birchwood, you never
know when we're gonna have to
hit him for another big loan.
That's her.
- Who her?
- The girl I accidented.
Who is she?
- [Craig] I don't know, a model.
- I'm telling you man,
there's magic there.
You find out everything
about her, okay?
- First thing in the morning.
- No, tonight.
That's your homework.
- [Kit] Hey maybe I could wear
this to your auction tonight.
- [Tessa] It'd be a big hit.
- Another gift from Chester?
- That's my beauty mask.
- [Kit] Where is your
ambassador these days?
- Oh Kuala Lumpur,
I keep getting these
strange messages from
foreign operators
asking me to hold on and
they never come back.
- Wish I could find
a guy like that.
- You have terrific taste.
- [Kit] Would you
ever marry him?
- If I marry anyone, it
will definitely be him.
And besides, I'm ready
to have some kids
run around the house
but it does make it
tough to jump off
to Kashmir or Bali.
You look great.
- Thanks Tessa.
[knocking]
Hi, Mr O'Rourke?
- Monseigneur O'Rourke.
- Oh, of course, Father.
- Come in, sister.
- Now then, the real
treasure of the evening.
A vase from the Ming period
obtained from the estate of
the late Gladys Filliping.
- What, what happened?
- The Ming.
Doesn't it just send chills
up and down your spine?
Absolutely top drawer,
don't you think?
- Oh it's absolutely top drawer.
- [Auctioneer] Let's open
the bidding at $50,000.
Do I hear 50,000?
I have $50,000.
- Excuse me, do you know
where the lady's room is?
- [Dee] Oh, oh,
oh Father,
oh.
[moaning]
- I can't breathe.
- Oh my.
[gasping]
Hey,
oh, oh.
Oh.
- Listen, I spoke with
Jacques this afternoon.
- Shh, Bunny, not here.
- He promised--
Why?
- I want you to work on Sloane.
- Must I?
- Mm hmm.
- Hello Cairo, you've
gotta get me outta here,
you should hear this broad.
Top drawer this,
top drawer that.
I'm out with the bloody bureau.
[knob rattling]
Hold on a second.
- [Kit] Help, excuse me, help.
- Listen, I'll call
you back, all right?
- [Kit] Hello, excuse me,
is someone out there, hello?
Excuse me, help, is
someone out there?
- Looks like a different house.
Hello, were you talking to me?
- [Kit] Anyone, I'm afraid
I'm trapped in here,
I can't get the door open.
- What is it, locked?
- [Kit] I don't know, I think
it's stuck or something.
- Well I don't know, it
wasn't locked for me.
[laughing]
You're a real hard
luck case, aren't you?
How come you couldn't
open the door?
- Come in here.
- Sure, I'll try anything once.
- All right genius, open it.
[rattling]
- [Sloane] Shit.
- Did I do something
bad in another life?
Out of nine zillion people,
I get stuck, trapped,
locked in a miniature
bathroom with T.C. Sloane.
- Not him again.
- Yeah, what happened?
- I forgot when you put
a lot of bubble bath
with the jacuzzi,
it gets kinda crazy.
- Dee, you wouldn't
believe this guy.
For an hour, I was stuck
in there for an hour
with that arrogant,
conceited, obnoxious--
- [Dee] I've never seen you
this riled up over a guy.
- I'm calm, wanna know why?
'Cause I've got a lock of
his hair and I'm gonna make
a voodoo doll and stick
little pins into his body.
- Stop it, you are not.
- No, then I'm never
gonna see him again.
Oh please God, please,
if you can hear me,
don't let me see
him again, please.
- It's all right, God hears ya.
[laughing]
- Kit used to be the Kringelein
Carpet Girl back in LA.
- The what?
Klaus Kringelein is the Carpet
King of Southern California.
Kit used to do his
commercials for him.
Then he fell in love with her,
wanted to make her a big star.
She freaked and ran
away to New York.
- This guy Kringelein
was no fool.
I've been out with some of the
most beautiful girls in the
world and I'm telling you this
girl, she's somethin' extra.
- Thanks a lot, T.C.
- Oh, no offense taken.
Osbourne, shake a leg, come
on, time for a little shan't.
- [Ozzie] Sorry Mr T.C. but
I have no legs to shake.
It is noteworthy that
champagne is best served
at a temperature of
45 degrees Fahrenheit
or seven degrees Celsius
and is best consumed
immediately upon pouring.
- I'm telling you, Kit Paget
is gonna be a superstar.
- When are you taking
her over, general?
She's a devoted member
of Eva Randall's court,
she wouldn't make a move
without their blessing.
- Now don't you drop anything.
What's their story?
- He's into orchids
and she dances
on the wrong side
of the ballroom.
Between the two of
them, they've managed
to flush that whole agency
right down the toilet.
- Oh yeah?
Oh, well maybe we
can help them out.
We buy in to manage Kit 100%
and we take it slow.
I don't wanna scare her away
with any of your
crazy stunts, huh?
- I don't know, Eva's a
pretty tough nut to crack
and she's cracked a lot of nuts.
[laughing]
- Listen, you go and
feel her out tomorrow
and then we send in
Harrison for the kill, huh?
Come here.
You missed Gary's
run-in, Jesus Christ.
[classical violin music]
- [Joel] Good, good.
Look at me again, good.
Show me some leg.
Come on girls, you're
getting paid for this.
Gimme some of that profile.
Good, gimme green Kitty,
gimme a profile, green.
That a girl, good, good.
Good.
Green, give me profile.
Good, get away.
Touch your earrings,
you've got beautiful earrings,
touch 'em, that a girl.
- Listen Eva, you're in trouble
and everyone in town knows it.
- Really?
I wasn't aware.
- Come on babe, Sloane's ready
to sink a fortune
into this girl.
Promote her, spread
my genius on her.
- God help us all.
- Hey, wait a minute.
- [Joel] Easy on the fog
guys, I'm shooting ladies,
not fog, for Christ's sake.
Good, good, good.
Touch your earrings sweetheart.
Touch your earrings,
that a girl.
Gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous.
Look at me goldie, look at
me, right into the camera,
that a girl, good.
- [Craig] So, what
do I tell Sloane?
- Why is he so
interested in her?
- He feels badly about
her blowin' the Cosmo gig,
he wasn't to make it up to her.
A million dollar apology?
Sounds fishy to me, Blitzstein.
Sloane's a businessman.
- And modeling isn't a business?
What did you agency
gross last year?
Better yet, what did Lauren
Hutton and Cheryl Tiegs make?
What did Zara make?
Sorry.
- And now, Kit is going to
show us a breathtaking item
that will turn any man's head
on those long winter nights.
[clapping]
- How are ya?
Hey, how much is the coat?
- The prices are all marked
on the programs, sir.
- Oh, okay, I'll buy
it, what else you got?
- Sonya, will you please
have Zara come out in--
- Oh, I'd like to see her again.
- But sir, we don't usually--
- Her.
- Get the coat off her.
- Hey, what is the
meaning of this, huh?
- Zara, Zara.
- Zara, Zara.
[speaking foreign language]
- Now I'm afraid Mr Sloane
would wrap my knuckles
if he knew the generosity
of my offer to you,
it far exceeds
what he suggested.
- [Eva] Well I think that--
- Let's stopped
this charade, Eva.
We're in trouble and
Mr Chandler knows it.
Maybe this is what we need.
Some real administration.
May I see the contract?
- Why not?
[clapping]
[whistling]
- So, are you gonna
buy this one too?
- How much is it?
- 14-five.
- Okay, I'll buy it.
Put it on the tab.
[laughing]
- All right.
What else is next?
- I wish they'd told us this
was gonna be a one woman show.
- It wasn't my idea.
- Well girls, at least
we still get paid.
- Why does he want
all these coats?
- Beats me.
- It is obviously the model
he's buying, not the coats.
- You're sweet.
- So for a cash amount and
5% of Leisure 80 enterprises.
- We will take 50% of the agency
and the management of
Miss Paget's career.
- [Walter] Why is Kit so
important to this deal?
Her earnings are
far from staggering.
- Well we feel that we can bring
a different thrust
to her career.
- And what is this continuity
of management clause?
- Should Mr. Sloane
leave Leisure 80,
this guarantees
that his successor
will continue to guide
Miss Paget's career.
- And is Mr. Sloane likely
to leave in the near future?
- You never know, one day
you're in, one day you're out.
[laughing]
- Oh, look at her.
[applauding]
- For 40,000.
- Wrap it up.
- That's it.
- I beg your pardon?
- We're out of coats.
- Oh.
Well,
ladies, that concludes
the most extraordinary
show of my career.
[audience applauding]
- I hope you know
what you're doing.
- You startin' with that
Hoover shit again, huh?
Thanks, huh?
- Wild Turkey, sir?
- Thank you, Raoul.
Raoul, go.
Oh yoo hoo, oh hello there.
- You're crazy, you know that?
- Yeah, I know, you hungry?
- Starving.
- Terrific.
I know a great little
place for dinner.
You're gonna love it.
Well come on, you only got
four hours to get ready.
Step right in.
I knew you'd see it my way.
Okay Raoul, let's
get in the wind.
[upbeat ensemble violin music]
[fireworks booming]
[laughing]
Anyway, they hadn't
any gross market yet.
So I figured we got a
really good shot at it.
The very next day I'm steered
over to Harrison Chandler
and he takes me over
to the Birchwood Trust.
The rest is history.
- Where do I fit in?
- You're my new challenge.
I'm gonna make you a star.
- My name in lights, showtime.
Are you prepared to
put that in writing?
[laughs]
Oh my god.
- Deal?
- Deal.
- Deal.
[relaxed violin music]
- What do you do for an encore?
- Come on.
[fingers snapping]
[fireworks booming]
[fireworks whistling]
[relaxed ensemble music]
[doorbell ringing]
- Raoul.
- Good morning.
- What's all this?
I don't believe this.
For me?
- Mm hmm.
- Oh god.
- Oh my god, what's happening?
It's not my birthday, is it?
This is too much.
They're not for me.
- Oh no.
- Look, I don't have
any time to talk
but I just want you to know
I'm launching you today.
When I put this deal through,
your face is gonna
be everywhere.
It's gonna be on TV, magazines,
billboards, holograms.
You're gonna be an institution.
Every girl in America's
gonna be dressed like you,
gonna look like
you, want to be you.
Yeah, won't you gimme some luck?
- Luck.
- Come over here.
- Oh god.
- I'm leaving.
- [Kit] Oh god.
- Somebody help that girl up.
♪ Hold the line, say it
♪ Say you love me again
♪ Say it, say you
love me again ♪
♪ I don't know just what to do
♪ I wanna spend all
my time with you ♪
♪ With you
♪ Every day and every night
♪ I love you more than
I ever thought I might ♪
♪ I might
- Well well well, don't tell me
you've come back
into the fold again.
- Ha, I spit on Eva Randall.
I am only here because
Delvin begs me to come.
As for you, you cost me a
lot of money today, Kit.
You can send me a
check in the mail.
- How about a plastic surgeon?
- Hey Zara.
So you left Cherrier already.
You're even smarter
than I thought you were.
[speaking foreign language]
Delvis, Delvis darling.
[smooching]
How wonderful.
- Time to meet
the press, Delvis.
- Excuse me.
- Hey Del, you know it's too bad
you didn't use Kit
for your cover, hmm?
What a face, such a
bundle of [smooching].
- You will excuse me.
- Oh, sure.
Juice.
- Not now.
- Now, come on.
You listen to Geppetto.
You don't do what I tell
you, you won't go too far.
[guests applauding]
- Are you two an
item, Mr. Sloane?
- I'd like you to
meet Kit Paget.
Now you be nice to
her 'cause a month
from now, you won't be
able to get near her.
- Oh, she's
gonna be that big?
- The biggest.
Right, Eva?
- Absolutely.
- Sloane.
- And she's modest too,
oh, you gotta love her.
Good stuff, pal.
- I drink the air before me.
- [Sloane] Well drink it faster.
[upbeat jazzy ensemble music]
- Whatever you've
done, I want it first.
- Joyce-y.
- Got any good dirt?
- Me, innocent little me?
- Can I just talk
to you for a second?
- Talk.
- Couldn't we go somewhere
a little more appealing?
I mean this--
- I got a thing for oysters.
- Yeah well, I remember.
Well look, I've been spending
a lot of time thinking
about us and I just want you
to know that I've changed.
- What are you laying
the strip on me for?
We had a fling, no
big deal, it's over.
- Joel, I am not
the sort of person
who can just in and out
of love that easily.
- Hi, Topsy.
- Hi.
- Where's Dee?
- I don't know.
- Didn't you go to the
movies with her tonight?
- No, I thought
she was with you.
- Oh.
- You're making such a mistake.
- You know, you really are nuts.
I'm gone, sweetheart, I
fuckin' vanished, wake up.
- Don't do that to me.
- Where have you been,
I thought that...
Who's that?
- Last year's model.
- Avril.
What happened?
- Wow.
- Nicky, how fast can you get
down and get a tight two-shot
of those two girls before
they split and back up to me?
Get going.
Blitzstein, you're
a bloody wonder.
- Why do you keep doing this?
You're humiliating
yourself, don't you realize?
- Okay, I think I just wanna go.
- Get outta here.
- Let's just go.
- Walter, darling.
Is that boy one of yours?
- Come on Av, let's go home.
- Go ahead, I'm just
going to tell Sloane.
[upbeat electronic music]
Sloane.
- Yeah, over here.
I have to l--
- I've been looking
for you all night.
We haven't toasted each other
since last night, to you.
- Hey, big time Sloane, you
wanna make me a superstar too?
- Do you mind?
I'm talking to my
client right now.
- Is that what you
call 'em these days?
Come on, dance with
me in the fountain.
It's good luck, like
throwing pennies.
- [Sloane] I'm gonna wear
my shirt dry tonight, huh?
- Chicken.
- Pretty--
[woman screaming]
[laughing]
Unique, huh?
That's a pretty crazy chick.
Dance it up girl, go
ahead, take it off.
This is...
- Hell yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That is it, nail
'em, nail 'em now.
- What are you up
to, you naughty boy?
- Just the biggest
scoop of the year
and you're gonna
get it exclusive.
Oh Cocky, Cocky, Cocky.
- Move along.
- What's wrong?
I thought we were
having a good time.
- You're having a good time
promoting your new toy.
I'm not one of your
robots, Sloane.
- Hey, let's talk about
this at my place, huh?
- I don't wanna
go to your place.
- Yeah but after last night,
I kinda thought that we were--
- What, is it like insulin,
you need it every night?
- Hey lady, I'm crazy about you.
- All right, there is
an attraction but Avril
needs me tonight and I have
a session in the morning.
- Yeah, but I kinda--
- In the words of the Master,
it's 86'd for tonight, Sloane.
- Well I just kinda
thought that, you know, I--
[door slams]
[relaxed violin, flute music]
- [Tessa] I understand what
you're saying but listen kiddo,
wake up, he's like all the other
revolving doors you
keep going around with.
- No, he's different,
really and as soon
as I get myself back in shape,
he'll be back, you'll see.
- [Tessa] Yeah, him and Nixon.
- Look Tessa, you
don't understand.
You don't know
Joel the way I do.
You don't know what we
had planned together.
- I only know you're hurting
and it's not worth it.
- Joel is a very
successful photographer.
I mean he's extremely
busy right now.
He doesn't have much free
time, I can handle that.
Look,
Tess, he's the first guy
that really loved me.
- Listen, I know Vacchio.
Maybe you love him but he's got
a light meter where his
heart's supposed to be.
- Please.
- No.
- Tessa, I need them.
- No!
Look,
maybe you should
get away for awhile.
Come away to my family's
place for the weekend.
- No, I don't think
I wanna go, thanks.
I think I wanna be
home right now, okay?
- [Tessa] Yeah, fine.
[soft electronic, violin music]
- From now on, Kit's gonna be
seen at only the best spots
'cause I want all New
York to see how beautiful
you are tonight and
starting this week,
I have your whole
future mapped out.
Acting classes, dance
classes, boys classes.
- I take classes now.
- With who?
I'm talking about the best.
Do you know what trouble
it took to get this guy?
I mean the man does not
teach private students.
- Oh, well that's a
great reason to go.
- Taekwondo?
- Yeah, those crowds are murder.
Right, Blitzstein?
- The man's on a hot
roll, don't cool his dice.
You know how you
succeed in this town?
You plug into your best
fantasy or your worst paranoia.
This is his fantasy
and he's loving it.
- Good evening, Mr. Cockridge.
A pleasure to see you again.
- There's Cocky.
- Who?
- Alton Cockridge, the designer.
I haven't seen him since I
modeled his fall collection.
- Oh, I'd kill to
model his clothes.
- You will baby, believe me,
if I have my way, you will.
Did you tell her yet?
- Would I steal your thunder?
- Tell me what?
- I had Joel Vacchio do test
shots of you for a layout.
He's the best in the
business, you know.
- Great timing, Sloane.
- What, was it something I said?
- Great.
- Well, I hope you're
enjoying my table.
- What?
Oh well hi there,
did you make it?
Hey, nice job.
You know I need some shells put
in if you got the time, huh?
- Oh, the dreaded Blitzstein.
Now I understand this
rather strange collection.
- You don't look too bad
on the glass yourself, pal.
- The butch voice that
speaks the vacant mind.
- Sloane, don't.
- Come Tali, we promised
these ladies a civilized meal.
- That's the guy you
wanted to work for?
- He's a genius.
- What a brave new world
you've led us into, Sloane.
[alarm clock ringing]
- Come on, time to get up.
- Let me get some more sleep.
- No time, we got a busy day.
Get up!
Come on, come on, come on
my sweets, move your feets.
A little road burn
never hurt anyone.
Come on, we gotta
get you in shape.
Pick 'em up, pick 'em up,
pick 'em up, pick 'em up.
Come on, pick 'em up, you can
do it, you can do it, baby.
That's right, stretch
'em out, stretch it.
Come on sweetheart,
come on, come on.
Just one more time around
the lake and you've got it.
We're gonna make you, baby.
Come on, come on.
Come on Kitty, go faster
now, that's right.
Burn it out, burn
it out, come on.
Come on, we're
gonna make it baby.
[relaxed electronic music]
- [Photographer] One
shot, come on, come on.
All right, all right, great.
More, more, more.
Another one, another
one, come on, come on.
- Please get in the car.
- [Photographer]
Look here, come on,
get a new one.
- Don't get in the car.
- [Photographer] All
right, one more, one more.
- [Reporter] Open
the window please.
Get to the window.
- [Photographer] Come on, a
couple more, a couple more.
Come on, one more, come on.
- You know, you look like an
unidentified flying object.
- Wait until Sloane has
me in bed with this.
- Great.
Smile.
Smile.
Gimme a profile, now look
at me with your eyes.
Smile at me, no, smile
with your whole face.
Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[camera clicking]
Great.
Look at me.
Gimme a profile,
gimme a profile.
Look at me with your eyes.
Great.
Okay, smile please,
smile with your eyes.
You wanna make me.
Look at me with
your eyes, smile.
Gimme some tongue,
gimme some tongue.
Yeah, smile, now smile with
your whole face, you want,
what are you, playing
games with me?
You're getting paid for
this, now gimme something.
All right, we slept
for the first session.
We're not gonna sleep
for this one, okay?
Now gimme a profile, now
look at me with your eyes.
Look at me, sweetheart,
the camera's over here.
Look up there with your face,
look over there with your eyes.
Now lick your lips.
Now smile with your
whole face, yeah, yeah.
Now stand up, stand up, now
flail that thing around.
Show me a little breast.
A little more.
A little more and again
and again and again.
That's good, good, good.
Whip me some more, whip
me some more, good.
Now whip me again, whip
me again, whip me again.
Smile, smile,
good, good, good,
good.
All right.
Hey baby, gimme a smile now.
Come on, smile for me.
Come on, look happy now.
Hey, the camera loves you, now
love the camera a bit, huh?
Cut the water.
Make my lens wet baby, open
up wide, I'm comin' in big.
Okay baby, let's
do something here.
You do it for Sloane,
how about me, huh?
- Okay Joel, sit on
that lens and rotate
'cause that's as close
as you're coming to me.
- All right folks,
that's a wrap.
- [Sloane] Hey speedo,
will you get this
thing outta reverse?
Use the sidewalk or something,
she hates it when I'm late.
Don't look at me like
that, turn around.
- [Joel] What's the
matter, did I scare you?
It's just I saw the way you
were looking at me
during the shoot.
- The way I was looking at you?
- Hey, you're hot for
me and I'm hot for you.
- I don't know what Avril
ever saw in you but--
- [Joel] Yeah, she
could never get enough.
- Joel.
- She got old after awhile.
- You're sick.
Joel, let me go!
God, Joel!
[grunting]
Where the hell is everybody?
- That wasn't very nice of you.
I'm not used to my girls
treating me like this.
- I'm not one of your girls.
[tense violin music]
- [Joel] Yeah but you wanna
be one of my girls, don't ya?
Huh?
Don't ya?
[slapping]
- I hate you.
[doorbell ringing]
Joel, you asshole.
I hate...
- [Joel] You stop.
- No.
Joel.
[banging]
Ow.
Help!
[Kit screaming]
- Joel, you slimy fuck.
[thudding]
[grunting]
I'll kill you, you bastard.
You like that, huh?
You like that.
That's right, that's right, yes.
Listen,
you gotta leave it
behind, you have to.
You know, such good things
are gonna happen for you.
Oh, I know it.
- I'm scared.
- It's
Timothy Clifford.
- What is?
- [Sloane] T.C., my initials.
- Can I call you Tim?
- Not if you wanna live.
- Why, it's a nice name.
- Because it was
my father's name
and he was a son of a bitch.
- How about Clifford, Cliff?
Cliffy.
[laughing]
- Forget you know it.
[robot beeping]
- [Ozzie] Ahem, ahem, excuse me
Mr. T.C., your coffee is ready.
- No.
- Cream or sugar?
- I have a daughter
that I've never seen.
- Cream or sugar.
- Shut up.
- How old?
- She's eight by now.
Her mother got remarried
and I didn't want
to stick my nose in.
Her mother didn't want me
to, so I gave up trying.
- You gave up, I can't
believe that one.
- What are you, a social
worker or something tonight?
- Why, am I not allowed?
Hello, Sloane residence.
Oh I'm sorry, he's unavailable
until late tomorrow morning.
- Oh, you.
[vacuum humming]
- [Ozzie] Beep, beep, beep.
Beep, beep, beep.
Move it or lose it.
Thank you.
- Good morning.
- Oh hi, I'm Kit.
- I'm Desi.
- How you doing, Desi?
- Poorly, poorly.
My feet hurt something awful.
Do you want some coffee?
- Oh, love it.
- Me too, why don't
you make us some?
[Desi giggling]
- Sure.
- The beautiful people,
our own Joyce Gorman.
- [Joyce] Thanks Tom,
well the Big Apple
has certainly been shaken--
- Thank you, Ozzie.
- To its core this morning.
Love has found Cocky at last.
- How do you like
your coffee, Desi?
- Got any cognac?
[Desi giggles]
- World famous designer
and an elusive bachelor
has been carrying on a secret
romance with fashion
model Kit Paget.
That's Cocky and Kit
exchanging a tender
moment together at Delpha's--
- Sloane.
- Launching and the
big news is that
Miss Paget is going
to have Cocky's baby.
- Sloane.
[robot beeping]
- Uh-oh.
- You sure do get around.
- Best known to Los Angeles
viewers as the
Kringelein Carpet Girl,
says she has kept the
secret as long as possible.
When interviewed at our
Burbank studio last night,
her former mentor Klaus
Kringelein had this to say.
- That's all I need.
- Listen,
we never sold so many carpets
like when she was here
and if she can do the
same for Mr. Cock-roach,
believe me, they'll have
lots more little babies.
- National Enquirer.
[Desi laughing]
- My favorite people.
- They'll be happy.
- And it's just like the
Mardi Gras around here.
- I'm selling the little
baby such a cute little
carpet with the rabbits--
- Hey listen.
- And the bunnies and
the little flowers.
I know they'll love it.
- Go to court for harassment.
[Desi giggling]
- [Ozzie] Good evening.
Oh, it's my pleasure.
- Craig did it?
- [Eva] Is this your
idea of management?
- [Sloane] Jeez, I'll
talk to you later.
- Cleaning personnel, why
have you seen the papers?
- [Desi] You are
on the television.
- Yes ma'am, I'm
in the television.
Look at this coverage, will ya?
It's better than I hoped for.
You are launched, carpet queen.
- You did this.
- Your obedient servant.
- Craig,
have you lost your mind?
- What's wrong?
She wanted dignity,
she wanted class.
Cockridge is like royalty.
[phone ringing]
He's like the Queen,
he is a Queen.
[Desi laughing]
- All right, now where the hell
you get off doing
something like that?
- Hey, that's my job, you've
always given me carte blanche.
You know, it's amazing what you
can do with two photographs.
What I figure is we'll
wait a few more days--
- [Kit] I'm not waiting,
okay, you're both insane.
- Woo.
[Desi giggling]
- [Kit] Enough!
- All right listen, I want
you to get on the phone and I
want you to straighten this
thing out right now, all right?
You tell 'em it was April
fools, you tell 'em--
- Hey.
- What the hell you want, Desi?
- I didn't get no coffee.
- [Sloane] Who do I
look like, Juan Valdez?
Nobody did.
- I never should
have made this deal.
Walter pushed me into it.
- [Craig] Hello, can I
speak to the city desk?
- Have I got this on right
or does it match my head?
- Here.
Look, I'll break the contract
if that's what you want.
- I don't know what I want
but right now I
wanna get outta here.
- Okay.
Okay.
- [Weatherman] And
there are plenty of dark,
heavy clouds
on the horizon.
- Be sure not to burn your toes.
- I don't know what
Kit's plans are
but I am divorcing myself
from this association.
I did not build up a prestige
agency in order to have it
turn into the laughing
stock of New York overnight.
- There's no sugar?
- You didn't ask for any sugar?
Oh Kit, come on,
don't leave, huh?
- Why shouldn't I?
You never told me I'd
be joining a freak show.
- [Weatherman] 80% tomorrow
and 90% tomorrow night.
- Ozzie, sugar.
- [Ozzie] Sugar,
coming right up.
[Desi laughing]
- [Weatherman] 29.7
inches and falling--
- [Sloane] What
are you, a hyena?
[playful electronic
carnival music]
- Miss Paget,
I'm here.
All right.
How did you find out?
- I don't understand--
- Don't play games
with me, Miss Paget.
I've kept this secret for years,
I don't need it blown now.
- Mr. Cockridge, I am as upset
as you are by all
these ugly al--
- Do you realize what
would happen to me
if certain men in this
city, I mean rich,
powerful men knew I was a fraud?
They'd find me in the East River
wearing pink cement galoshes.
I've already paid
for two abortions.
- Abortions?
- A common practice for
unwanted babies, are you,
you're really pregnant?
I've never seen so
many balls in my life.
- [Kit] I don't get it.
- I am supposed to be harmless.
I'm queer old Cocky, dear.
There isn't a man in New York
who wouldn't trust
me with his wife.
- You're a closet heterosexual?
- Shh.
[Kit chuckling]
I'm a fucking stud,
you see, I'm ruined.
You're about to flush 15
years of work down the toilet.
[Cockridge laughing]
It's crazy, isn't it?
- Classic Craig Blitzstein.
- Huh?
The dreaded Craig Blitzstein,
well I might have known it.
Well my dear, what do
you want out of all this?
- Nothing, I want the
story killed, same as you.
- [Cockridge] That's all?
No strings?
- I'll carry your secret to
the grave, cross my heart.
- And hope to die?
- No.
[laughs]
- I'm in trouble,
Sloane, I need your help.
Cherrier has just stolen
another three girls.
- What do you want me to do,
put a contract out on him?
- We'd like you to buy
back our 5% of Leisure 80.
- What 5%?
- That you gave us in exchange
for your share of the agency.
- We're prepared to let you
have it for 100,000 in cash.
We know it's worth a
great deal more but--
- Wait, what do you mean
Harrison gave you 5%?
Now why did he do that?
He must've had a good
reason, talk to him, huh?
[relaxed synthesized music]
- So Kit,
Sloane is now your
sugar daddy, huh?
Some girls have all the luck.
- Don't listen to her, Kit,
at least you've
got what you got.
Stand tough.
- And what does that mean?
- Oh Zara honey, you know,
I would just hate to cast
any aspersions on your honor.
You know, they wouldn't have
you on a stop herpes poster.
- People in glass houses.
- Mm hmm, come again?
I didn't quite catch it.
- At least I don't
do it for the money.
[women gasping]
- [Kit] Avril.
Come on, ladies.
- Shit.
- Avril.
- Where's her phone?
- I don't know.
Are you all right, hon?
- I don't know.
- Get back.
- What happened?
Get a doctor.
- Here, give her a toot.
- Are you--
[clattering]
You're crazy!
[Zara speaking foreign language]
- Do you understand
that Cockridge
publicity stunt of yours
really freaked me out, Sloane?
- I mean what the hell,
Blitzstein covered, huh?
You gotta admit it
was kinda funny.
- Oh, it's all a riot if you're
not the object of ridicule.
- You got a beef?
- Yeah, I don't want to be
handled like this anymore.
I feel like a joke.
- I just sank five million
bucks into a factory.
I'll be laughing
myself into bankruptcy.
- Well I'm not laughing.
Right now there's
nothing to laugh about.
I just saw Avril
taken to the hospital.
She's cracking up over that
maniac that tried to rape me.
- Listen, Harrison says we can't
start a line without
a name designer.
- So?
- So, so, so, they all have
their own lines already.
Calvin Klein, Alston,
Oscar the poo poo bird.
- What about Cocky?
- Cockridge, are you kidding me?
There's that night
at Le Toille, huh?
Blitzstein's brain wave.
- I can get him.
- This kinda reminds me
of a salad I had once.
Okay, all right, all right.
- Alton will be up
in just a moment.
One teaspoon or two?
- What?
- Your tea.
- Oh.
One.
- [Teddy] You're going
to love the designs.
- Oh yeah, that's great.
- It's all right Teddy,
we're not buying him,
you don't have to
count his teeth.
Hello child, how are you?
- [Kit] Great, how are you?
- Hemorrhoidal.
Do you want to see
some pretty pictures?
- Yes.
- Come on.
- Hello.
- Hello.
Voila.
- Wow.
It's very nice.
- I love it, I love
it, they're wonderful.
Look at this.
- That's really nice.
- Yeah, it's gorgeous.
They're wonderful.
I was thinking of calling
it Kit Paget's Pageant
but I was afraid it
might induce harelips.
[chuckling]
So I pinched your notion,
Mr. Sloane, Dreamworld.
- Great.
- Oh, I love it.
To Dreamworld.
- To Dreamworld.
- Dreamworld.
[loud buzzing]
What the hell is this?
- I thought it was for me.
- Sloane.
[Desi laughing]
What's with Fort
Knox in the kitchen?
I'm hungry.
- You ate lunch, you
don't eat 'til dinner.
I'm counting every calorie.
Your body is a major asset.
- [Ozzie] Some carrot
cake from Pierre's Bakery.
- Oh, Ozzie.
[electronic beeping]
Desi.
- Leisure 80 sales have hit
an all time high for
the past quarter.
- All right, excellent.
Would you have some
copies prepared for
the annual shareholders
meeting please, Cariyoo?
- Cairo, oh yes, yes, of course.
- Hey when is that, huh?
- Next week, Mr. Birchwood
by the way is thrilled
with our success.
- We all did it guys, huh?
And Kit.
Hey, wake up.
I'm sorry all the success
is putting you to sleep.
- What time is it?
- It's 6:30.
- I've gotta get
to the hospital.
- Hold on, we got a meeting with
the people from
Bullocks, remember?
- I haven't seen Avril
in weeks, I promised Dee.
- You're gonna
have to change it.
We're on a hot roll,
you can't let your
personal life interfere.
- Excuse me, God, but my friends
still come first in my life.
- That's not the way I see it.
- Then you better get
some glasses, pal.
- Am I too late?
- Yeah, visiting hours are over.
- Oh shit.
- Wow, you look so different.
I can't believe it's you.
- Where have you been?
We haven't heard
a word from you.
- You haven't let it go
to your head, have you?
- What the hell does that mean?
- I heard someone say
that at the agency.
- You don't believe
that, do you?
- When was the last
time that you took
one minute to give
any of us a call?
- What's with this shit?
I thought you were my friends.
- Come on, Topsy.
[soft somber electronic music]
- You look terrible.
- Thanks, that's just
what I need to hear.
- Well if you'd
made the meeting,
you would've been in bed
by 10:00 but no, not you.
- This show goes out live, so
if you've got anything to say
to one another, you'd best do
it in the next few seconds.
- [Director] Quiet
studio, roll camera.
Five, four, three, two, one.
- Kit Paget, the Dreamworld
girl, the face of the 80s.
T.C. Sloane, entrepreneur,
hustler extraordinaire
and some say the Svengali
behind Kit Paget.
Kit, what is it really like?
I mean what is it really like
to have your image plastered
all over the world?
- It sucks.
[Sloane laughs nervously]
- Kit uses these funny
little phrases sometimes.
What I think she means by that--
- I don't need an interpreter.
- Let's not come to blows
on the air, now then--
- Hold it a second, Claire.
I think Kit owes you and
the audience an apology.
She's not up to
scratch this morning.
- Oh, you're completely out of
your tree, do you know that?
You're on such an ego trip.
Just once I'm gonna say
what I think, just once.
If I only had two seconds to
myself, if I had some privacy.
Even when I'm trying to take a--
- Would you shut up?
- A nap, Sloane,
that's all I meant.
I respect your privacy.
You don't want anybody to
know what your real name is.
You want to know what
his real name is?
It's Timothy--
[Sloane screaming]
- [Director] Cut.
- What is wrong with you?
- Come on, come on.
- It's under control.
[slap]
- [Kit] Claire.
- Oh, great.
- Get outta here, I'll get her.
- Roll the commercial.
- Come on, Kit.
- Are you all right, Miss?
- I'll take care of it.
- Roll the commercial. Fade
out, roll the commercial.
- Miss Claire?
- Jesus.
[relaxed violin,
synthesized music]
[clock ticking]
[weeping]
- I heard your crying
and I thought--
- Just leave me alone, will ya?
- Where have you been?
- I took Topsy to
a film and then--
- No, you didn't, I called
Topsy tonight at her mother's.
She never--
- What?
Have you been spying on me?
- My god Dee, what
happened to you?
- Nothing.
- Who did this to you?
- A trick.
- Your phone.
Why Dee, why?
- I get my kicks this way.
- Getting beat up?
- No, that's never
happened before.
Look, I was sick.
- How long have you been--
- What?
A prostitute, a whore?
About a year now.
- Have you seen a psychiatrist?
- Yeah.
Yeah, I seen one once.
He fucked me in his office.
[soft electronic music]
[Ozzie beeping]
- [Ozzie] Wild Turkey
on the rocks, sir.
- Yeah.
Just what the doctor ordered.
Keep this up, I'll
buy you a wig.
- I have been so bored in here.
- I would've come sooner, Av.
I'm sorry I didn't, I really am.
Things have been
so crazy lately.
- Don't be silly,
you're on top now.
Look, I'm really
happy for you, Kit.
I should be so lucky.
I'll admit I was a
little jealous at first
but that's just
because you and Sloane
were doing exactly what
Joel and I had planned.
I guess I just didn't
have what it takes.
- Hey sexy, you better rest up
before you start chasing
around again, okay?
- Look, I'm feeling much
stronger now, really.
Kit, if you see
Joel, will you just
thank him for the flowers?
- Sleep.
I'll be back soon,
I promise this time.
[loud chattering]
- What was her name again?
- You gave her her first job.
- It was a pittance.
[upbeat jazzy ensemble music]
- [Zara] Happy
birthday, little one.
Zara has a special gift for you.
- I don't think I should.
- Oh go on, it will
make you feel good.
You're a big girl now, hmm?
- But what if someone comes in?
My mom would kill me.
- No one will come now.
- Oh, he's wonderful.
[laughing]
- Now [sniffling].
[sniffling]
Harder, huh?
Topsy.
Sniff in.
Why don't you mind your own
business, you Texas tramp?
[Zara screams]
[splashing]
- Now listen, you get downstairs
and I never wanna catch
you doing that again.
- I'm sorry but she made me.
- Get outta here.
[Zara shouting in
foreign language]
Ow.
- Nein.
- [Dee] You're really
pissing me off, Zara.
- [Zara] Then it's a fight.
I'm sick of you.
[shouting]
[Zara screaming, speaking
foreign language]
- Zara.
- [Dee] Shut up.
[screaming]
- Party upstairs, let's go.
- Tess.
- Zara.
- I had to tell you my news.
I've managed to get almost
all the proxies on our side.
- Excellent.
When will you have the rest?
- Harrison Agonistes Chandler.
You know sometimes I think all
you care about is
getting rid of Sloane.
You'll have Leisure 80.
I promise you.
- Top drawer.
[pouty giggling]
[people shouting]
- [Craig] Everybody cool it.
- Dee!
- No don't, get me out.
No, don't.
Take me to Sloane.
- Leave her alone, you creep.
[shouting]
- And they call it
the Miles Moore.
- Nobody's perfect, baby.
- Well I'm not finished yet.
- [Cairo] Hey, don't--
- Eva?
Eva, where are you?
- Oh Walter, must you
always spoil my fun?
- I just thought you'd want
to know that Avril
killed herself.
[gasping]
[soft somber electronic music]
- Can we get on with this?
- Sorry we're late.
- It's all right, Sloane.
I declare the
annual shareholder's
meeting of the Birchwood
Trust now open.
I'd like to make a priority
motion before you
read the minutes.
- What the hell
is she doing here?
- On behalf of the
majority shareholders
in Leisure 80 Enterprises,
we would at this time
request the immediate
resignation of T.C. Sloane.
- Just 'cause I
was a lousy date?
- And that the Presidency
be immediately assumed
by Harrison Chandler.
- Oh.
Now I know what was going
on in that top drawer.
You're outta line Bunny, you
know you don't have the votes.
- Well I have Birchwood
Trust properties
with me totalling
50% of the ownership.
- I have 45%, Kyle
has two and a half,
Blitzstein has two and
a half, that makes 50.
So it's a stalemate.
- You only have 45%, not 50.
Did you forget Eva Randall's 5%?
And I have proxies for them
here which gives us 55%.
- You son of a bitch.
That's why you gave
them the 5%, huh?
- Do you remember what I
said about hubris, Sloane?
The barbarians are at the gate.
[phone ringing]
- Now listen Harrison,
I just wanna--
- Kit, I am so
pleased to see you.
Sit down?
No?
Look, I just want you to know
the change of management--
- You can't get rid of Sloane,
he is Leisure 80 and Dreamworld.
- Not anymore, he's out.
- Out.
- Well so am I.
If you don't bring Sloane
back, I'm gone, understand?
- Fine, fine, I accept
your resignation.
Miss Birchwood
here is a witness.
We'll just have to
conduct a search for a new
Dreamworld girl which
should be worth about
a million dollars
in free publicity.
[smug giggling]
Oh T.C., would you
come here please, T.C.?
- [T.C.] Coming, Mr. Chandler.
I have two screwdrivers, tall
with a dash of grenadine.
[humming]
As requested.
- Thank you, T.C.
- [T.C.] Thank
you, Mr. Chandler.
[electronic beeping]
- Oh and by the way
Kim, sorry, Kit,
you do realize that your
contract prevents you
from seeking employment
elsewhere for 18 months.
You know I think that
you should get some rest.
All this has been
very grueling for you.
[chuckling]
T.C., you can go now, thank you.
- That son of a bitch
Harrison wants to play dirty,
he doesn't know what dirty is.
- But how can we--
- Listen,
I've got it all worked out.
We're gonna play his game.
The first thing we're gonna do
is call a new board meeting.
Now didn't you tell me that
Lucius Cathcart was
Chester's cousin?
- Why, you clever little--
- I want you to get
Chester on the phone right away.
- [Dee] But he's in
Swaziland, it's almost--
- Just get him on the phone.
- No operator, Swaziland.
- You think they're done?
- Would you come
on, Betty Crocker.
- [Craig] It's a hop
hop over, my love.
- Now Dee, I want you to
get the goods on Harrison.
- Okay, I don't know a
damn thing about business.
- This kind of business
is second nature, honey.
- Chester, darling, I
know it's the middle
of the night but I need you
to call Lucius Cathcart.
- I'm not leaving until
I have those proxies.
Hold the calls.
- [Walter] We've released
them to Harrison Chandler.
- You'll reassign them right now
or I'll pull down the
pillars of this agency.
You've got enough trouble
with Dominique's raids.
How would you feel if
Tessa, Dee and I walked out?
- Get the Leisure 80
papers, Walter, please.
My my,
we're a big girl now, aren't we?
- She did all that for me?
- [Craig] She loves you, buddy.
- Hi.
- How'd you get in here?
- You've just got
one of the sweetest
little security
guards downstairs.
I told him you
were expecting me.
- You did?
- Uh-huh.
I don't know Harrison,
is it hot enough for you?
I swear to God,
this just gotta be
one of the hottest
nights in the year.
I can barely stand
to have clothes
on my body when
it gets this way.
- Oh really?
- [T.C.] Here are
the books you asked.
- [Harrison] T.C.
- Well.
[Dee giggles]
- Go back to the library, T.C.
I don't feel like
reading tonight.
You like books, you read 'em.
- Goodnight, sir.
- Goodnight.
- [T.C.] Don't let
the bedbugs bite.
- Listen, I hear you're looking
for a new Dreamworld girl.
- Well as a matter of
fact, we might [chuckles].
- I sure do hope that I could
get the first crack at it.
- Crack, well I don't see why
you shouldn't have
a crack at it.
- Oh, well that's just great.
That's all I wanted.
I guess.
- Wait a minute, Miss, what
the hell is her name anyway?
What size are you, I mean
what's your dress size?
Would you like to come
and try out a few things?
- Oh yeah, sure,
I'll try anything.
- Yeah?
Well here we are.
- Oh, would you like some music?
- Why not?
- All right.
♪ Whatever you want
♪ It's just a dream away
♪ Whatever you need
♪ It's just a dream away
- What time is it?
- 8:30.
- Ah ladies, the sweet
smell of victory.
- Did you get it?
- Yeah.
- Dee!
[smooching]
I gotta see this.
- That's great.
- [T.C.] Good morning sir,
here are the
refreshments you ordered.
Your secretary stole
a newspaper from me
but the headlines
state that the stock
market is up two and
half points and--
- Good morning, T.C.
- Good morning, sir.
- [Secretary] Mr. Harris.
- And--
- Yes?
- [Secretary] They are waiting
for you in the
demonstration room.
- Who are?
- [Secretary] All the
members of the board, sir.
- [T.C.] A big day when
the shadows are forecast.
There is no board meeting
scheduled this morning, sir.
But good luck anyway.
- Thank you, T.C.
- Anytime.
- Why wasn't I given any
notice of this meeting?
- [Board Member] Sorry
Harrison, I thought you knew
Lucius asked us all to
be here this morning.
All the members of the board.
- If this meeting is
for board members only,
what are they doing here?
- Well the bank decided
that the combination
of Miss Montgomery's
business expertise
and her modeling
experience would make her
an invaluable member of
the Board of Directors.
- Do I sense a
conspiracy in the air?
- Absolutely, Harrison,
we've got the 50% back.
- You only have 45.
- As of yesterday, I
represent Eva's proxies.
- Assuming it is 50-50,
it's not gonna be that
easy to get me out.
I am still President.
- We'd like to show you a little
something that might
change your mind, Harry.
You watch too, Bunny, all right?
[Harrison laughing]
- I wonder where your wife
thinks you are right now.
- Slaving away at my desk.
Poor old Meredith, she's
as thick as a brush.
She's almost as dumb as Bunny.
- [Dee] You know I
never could figure out
what you were doing
with that Bunny,
what was it, Bridgette, Butt?
- It's funny.
[Harrison laughing]
- Well you are a real wildcat.
[Dee meowing]
- It's just politics
Dee, it's politics.
You see, I had to find some way
to get to that boring old
goat grandfather of hers.
He's a bigger fool than she is.
- You really aren't
well, are you Harrison?
- Do you know
what it was like
to sleep with that
lock-jawed bore?
Did you know that
she [chuckling],
she even lisps when she snores.
- Hmm?
- That giggle.
- Yes.
- That giggle.
And all to to keep
that boring old--
[shattering]
Birchwood Trust happy.
Once more unto the
breach, dear friends.
That's Shakespeare,
Dee, Shakespeare.
- Shut up, Harry.
- All righty.
[laughing]
- All right.
- Okay momma, you did it.
- Bernard, Miss Paget
asked me to meet her here.
- Ah yes Mr. Sloane, I
have your table for you.
- I'm glad you
could squeeze me in.
- Always a pleasure, T.C.
- Thanks.
- May I get you a drink?
- The usual.
- Wild Turkey?
- You got it.
[fingers snapping]
[relaxed ensemble music]
Oh.
[Sloane laughs]
- Now we're even.
- [Sloane] Hey wait
a minute, that's it?
- What else would you like?
- What about us?
I need you, Kit.
I love you.
- Finally.
- Yeah.
I do.
- I saw that headdress
you're wearing.
- Yeah?
- It's fabulous.
- You like it?
- Yeah.
- So how's Kit doing?
- She's petrified.
- And don't forget
to wait for that
extra beat in the music
before you go, all right?
- Tim, you're driving me
crazy, please get outta here.
- Get outta here?
I put this whole thing together.
My reputation, my credibility,
my bank account is riding
on this thing, huh?
- Tessa, throw him out.
- Yeah, come on Sloane.
- Dream on, you can't
throw me outta here.
- I can.
- What?
- Come on T.C., be a
good little wood nymph
and let these slave-queens
get on with their thing.
[relaxed guitar music]
- Music, what the hell are
they starting the music for?
- Go and be a
witness to history.
Teddy, show him the way.
- Oh it's okay, I'll go.
- I promised you one.
- I thank you, Cocky.
[jazzy ensemble music]
♪ You are my one and only
♪ Yes, you're my
one and only love ♪
♪ Everyone's talking
♪ About the dream to come
♪ Went searching
♪ Babe, been lost all along
♪ But lately I've
been listening ♪
♪ When your sweet
lovin' speaks to me ♪
♪ A little surprise,
you opened my eyes ♪
♪ To all of the reality
♪ 'Cause you are
my one and only ♪
♪ Yes, you're my
one and only love ♪
♪ You gave me reason
♪ To give a damn about myself
♪ I truly believe there
was no one, no one else ♪
♪ You've found your woman
♪ I've found my
everlasting man ♪
♪ No need to fight it
♪ We've got it right
♪ As long as we're
hand in hand ♪
[upbeat jazzy ensemble music]
♪ You are my one and only
♪ Yes, you're my
one and only love ♪
♪ Love
[audience cheering]
[upbeat jazzy ensemble music]
♪ You are my one and only
♪ Yes, you're my
one and only love ♪
♪ You are my one and only
♪ Yes, you're my
one and only love ♪
♪ Everyone's talking
♪ About a dream to come
♪ Went searching
♪ Babe, been lost all along
♪ But lately I've
been listening ♪
♪ When your sweet
lovin' speaks to me ♪
♪ A little surprise,
you opened my eyes ♪
♪ To all of the reality
♪ 'Cause you are
my one and only ♪
♪ Yes, you're my
one and only love ♪
♪ You are my one and only
♪ Yes, you're my
one and only love ♪
♪ You gave me reason
♪ To give a damn about myself
♪ I truly believe
there is no one else ♪
♪ You've found your woman
♪ I've found my
everlasting man ♪
♪ No need to fight
it, we got it right ♪
♪ As long as we're
hand in hand ♪
[upbeat jazzy ensemble music]
♪ You are my one and only
♪ Yes, you're my
one and only love ♪
♪ You are my one and only
♪ Yes, you're my
one and only love ♪
♪ Love