Couples, Couples, Couples (1988) - full transcript
As with many Hong Kong comedies, the humor in this movie is screwball and slapstick and the plot is almost non existent. Some comedies managed to be entertaining and generate much laughter, but this one generated maybe a chuckle.The plot was slow and hard to follow, the humor was dull and the acting was goofy. It's a shame too, as Michael Hui, Cherie Chung, Meg Lam and other A-list actors were in general the best, and the talents seemed somewhat underused here. Overall, it's a movie that could have been a lot better.Grade D-
Outrageous
You deduced a man, you bitch
I told you not to run
these embarrassing tapes
Pao Niu borrowed them, not I
81, 82, 83...
Don't used this kind of nail polish
It really turns me off
This will do
Got it free with $400 worth of purchase
What a waste not to use it
What are you doing?
This is a way of self-deception
or doing things the wrong way
or just stone-blind
which is not any better
This means equality for all
Bad, it's not too safe today
Have you taken the pill?
The doc told me to discontinue after 6 months
I discontinued it a fortnight ago when
you were away filming in Saudi Arbia
Okay
As they say on TV, man must chip in
What are you doing?
No more
What are you doing?
Taking a bath, then sleeping
Is that all?
Now you've really turned me on
How can I sleep peaceful now?
Something here will bring you sleep
How about taking it off?
No
The fortnight in Saudi Arabia
made me a celibate
I can't control myself anymore
Well, I'll cool you down
Why? Still not asleep?
It's like the Heilungchiang forest fire
It takes over 100 hoses to put it out
Plastic wrap, plastic wrap
Where's the plastic wrap?
What are you doing?
Take me the plastic wrap
Rubbers
Rubbers
Hurry up
You've gone too far
Want to add foil to ensure double safety?
Safety should come first
The bell rings
At this hour?
Still not in bed?
It's Pao Niu
Luckily I didn't awake you
Did your wife hurt you again?
The mad woman put power glue on my face
and the skin came off
What a shame for a man?
We're like brothers
With different surnames
Well, we're not brothers
I'll leave it with you for the night
In face, only for half a night
Glad you understand
My wife's out for a performance
She left early and is still not back
I must rush delivery to a client
Over a dozen artwork
on that Soviet diamond
It's unsafe to keep it in my home
I know I'm absent-minded
If anything happens...
OK, OK
Well, let's talk about it tomorrow
You agree then?
Put it here, put it here
Gold, diamond, jewelry, stocks, title deeds
and everything are here
Keep it carefully
You know my mother-in-law is tough
You may leave
What did he put here?
So it's his daughter
Snow White
No need to sleep tonight
Quiet!
Don't!
What are you doing?
People may see us
There's no one around
Come on
Nobody at home?
Who's it?
Sister, so it's you, you're early
Early? It's already midnight in the Middle East
Your brother-in-law kept me waiting the whole night
This morning he called & asked for a postponement
How many times is that?
The 31st time
Next time?
Next time? There's no next time
Next time I'll divorce him
I envy you for your co-habitation
That saves you a lot of trouble
This is feminine work Let me do it
Don't be miserly
Throw it away
Eating roast pork at dawn?
Sister, let me
Never mind, let me do it
Your cousin's now married
and wants to have kids
She's already over 30
She might regret it if she got a freak
Right. These are for you
Can't she write my name?
How? Mr and Mrs Chen?
You're not yet married
To write Miss Huang may hurt him
You're making things difficult for us
I must change and go to work
The bill, please
Coming
Egg noodles, and tea with milk, stronger
I'm in the mood today, I'll give you more eggs
Hsiao Pao
Bye-bye
Here you are
Half an egg
Thank you, madam
Morning, John
I didn't see anything, I really didn't
Even evidence for the Court is erased
Was that car beautiful?
Car? What car?
Chicken Porsche?
I thought you
were kidnapped
Any fashion show at midnight?
It's so far away
and you have no car to pick me up
Don't think I have no appeal
Did you go out with a man last night?
No way Hit me if you're a man
Okay
Damn you, I'll fight with you
I'll slap you back to your sense
Don't make a scene in public
Wasn't she escorted by someone in a car?
No. She walked home
Why not? He lied
Tell him there was a Rolls Royce,
a Benz...
lining up for me
The men were all
lining up for me
You're unchaste and vain
You're materialistic
Don't quarrel here
Go home first
Keep away
Bitch, even a wooden barrow attracts you
The rent is $50 an hour
Help!
Get going, tramp!
I'll kill you
Go home first, will you?
Hurling things at me?
This is my home
Don't
Buddy, stop
Stop
It's very expensive
I'll kill you
My crystal vase!
See if you have any more admirers
Look, our daughter's now uncared for
You know I've to rush delivery to my clients
She's your daughter too
Now a man has to nurse too
A woman suffers labor pains
What does a man do other than changing diapers?
I'll fight with you
Don't
A man should be career-minded Understand?
My career is now
sprouting like sunrise
Our daughter lacks family care
You bitch
Go to hell!
Go to hell!
Go to hell, you're irresponsible
Don't hurl, it's your daughter!
At worst I'll look after her for you
Okay
Why didn't you answer the phone?
I was quarreling with my boyfriend
He kept entangling mom,
wanting to marry me
I said
it's boring to stick to one man
Do you have a new boyfriend every night?
No
but I prefer your mode of life
At least he won't order me to do the dishes
And I can go out freely with other men
Even darning his socks
is too good for him
Things would be different if we were married
I've to iron his clothes like an amah
Do you envy me?
Of course, it's honeymoon every day
When the honeymoon's over, one thinks of home
Right now I don't feel like having a home
Why?
As you've said, he's not your husband
You can't gripe if he doesn't return home
You can't join him if he gets emigrated
An you've to pack up
if he has a new lover
And it's awkward
to talk about money
Anyway, I've the feeling he doesn't belong to me
We can't love each other openly
But a married man may want children
After having a child, you get wrinkles
and you can't wear bikini
After all these years, I get fed up with it
My boyfriend's right
One values only what he can't get
not what he already owns
Popeye
Have some orange juice
Watch television
Cartoon, all children like it
Don't cry, I beg you
Please
Buddha, I'll worship you
Don't cry, I beg you
Thank God
She's been crying for 7 hours
I tried everything, but she turned down everything
and cried even louder
Why not? She's wet
Don't cry. Be nice
No wonder I couldn't
remove the smell on me
For 2 weeks How can you sleep at night?
Haven't you still got two weeks' leave?
You resent the presence of a third person
You resented it yourself
Well, I'll take her back
and tell them she kept crying in your presence
She didn't cry, she's nice
Thank you
Excuse me
What are you doing?
Is she going to stay away so long?
She's not used to sleeping outside
Do me a favor
And this
Come on
Thank you
They're the new foster daddies & mommies
Greet them
You two stop quarreling!
In fact, we should thank you
Since you got an addition burden
We've had less responsibility
We've had less friction
We quarrel less
and have a common objective
of working together for our career
Hsiao Pao, you're not a good mommy
She's all covered with dirt
She won't catch cold
Save medical expenses
Look, she's covered with bruises & prickly heat
Well, she never had this trouble before
Don't disturb them in their sleep
Go now
Good night
Go now, or we may be accused of persecution
Newly bought, it's iron-clad
Let's buy an electric round bed, okay?
For a lovers' hotel? No business
A water bed shakes heaven & earth
Like Holy Monkey in mermaids Palace?
Let me take a bath
Okay
Smell. Fragrant, am I?
I say, it's inflammable
Read
Watch television
A breast-fed child is smarter
Please breast-feed
for better mankind
Are you serious?
A 3-alarm fire occurred
in a 5-star Hotel in Manila
killing 5 and injuring 11
Brother-in-law had a hand in building it
Excuse me
See you around
The girl's name is Black Pearl
She is the hottest model in the decade
OK, please try again later, thanks
Good morning
When are you going back to Hong Kong?
Next week
Black Pearl is offered a job in Asia
I offer to be her guide
but she said she'd found someone else
I just wonder who the hell that could be
Do you have any idea at all?
Excuse me, sir, your call is through
Thank you
Darling, so you come for me?
Where are you?
Manila
I'm not designing a Swimming Pool
for a Hotel
I thought you were in the Middle East
The changed plans I've been here for 2 days
There was a 3-alarm fire
in a 5-star Hotel in Manila
It could have been
in flames by now
Something wrong with the line I'll talk to you when I return
Glad you're here Take her away
We were passing through and
want to see how your foster daughter is
She is not my foster daughter
John, her grandma's still not back
You promised to stay for 2 weeks
Time's up for feeding
Let me feed her
3 spoonfuls, she's grown now
Too much play in the day, she gets bad dreams at night
Come on
Why didn't you check the temperature first?
Look, it's so hot You want to kill her?
Go now
Let's go
Bye-bye, Snow White
Look, you've already influenced her badly
Enough, enough
So pity
Your parents are hopeless
Well, your foster dad adores you
Well, does it work?
You haven't come at a better time
You made me do the feminine work
Where are you going?
I do something a man should do
Be nice. I adore you
John, remember to get some talcum power
Because she was nearly suffocated
by the blanket
I was doing artificial respiration on her
Artificial respiration?
Yes
John, she really is cute
She's brought life
to the family
But Pao Niu gets on better
without her
Can't you see it
from his looks?
What do you say?
It shows the baby's not so cute
How have you been doing, bachelor?
Haven't seen you for a week
Bachelor? He already has Mary at home
Nonsense, do long as she's not my wife
I'm an eligible bachelor
If I tell Mary,
your ears will suffer
You must be joking
A newcomer?
Fresh from school she's a summer worker
Look, there's no lack of nice girls
It's silly to get married
You don't have to keep a cow to get milk
Come with Mary to my home for dinner tomorrow night
Your wife's birthday?
My son's full-moon birthday
Another masterpiece
Let me drink to it
You really are braver than I
I wouldn't dare to drink of it
What if Mary should go out
to drink milk?
I'm now living like a married man
At least Mary has true feelings for me
You think I pull through with my wife everyday?
Listen, John
Cohabitation's like one without an ID card
You always have a forlorn feeling
Be nice, Snow White
Snow White, Snow White
Pao Niu's still not back We're late
There's still no answer
Coming
The volunteer's here
The volunteer's here
We're going out for dinner
We'll return at 10
Look, my hands are full
It's now 8, I must leave at 10 sharp
Don't blame me
if you're late
She's your own daughter
Not until one week later
I'm doing you
a favor only
as a friend and a neighbor
You...
Go now
Be back on time
Pao Niu, remember to feed her at 8:30
Something extra is okay
John, guess if we're going to be late?
No
I'll take you to a place
we've never been to
What place?
A Motel?
John, we're late
We won't be
Marry, a large bathtub
We can bathe together
No, it's time to feed the baby
I'll do it myself
Pao Niu's absent-mined He may forget
So I must remind him
Pao Niu, have you fed her?
Yes, can't you hear her sound of satisfaction?
Why's she crying so hard?
It's a Baby-Crying Contest on TV
She can't help laughing at it
He's hung up
The baby's crying terribly
Could he have fled to avoid conviction?
He might kill her to destroy the evidence
Change now
Be nice and make an honest living
Your foster parents may punish me
when they back home
Why have you made such a mess?
Why have you got such a dirty face?
You've ruined me
I have no way out
Come on, Mary
What now?
Pao Niu
I want to fly to the sky
How exciting!
What a rare experience!
What's wrong?
What a pity!
You're lucky
Your son's studying in UK
Your husband's successful businessman, flying to and fro
In fact,
I'm bored at home
Sex problem?
What's your solution?
I make it myself
What? Are you sure?
3 Grands, $128 each, please
Don't get the wrong idea
I haven't even made a small game in 8 rounds
You females are in jinx
Sister
Why are you so late?
You've already had enough players
Your cousin's looking for a bride's maid
You alone are eligible
I...
Your sister and I are both married
She's divorced
She's planning to remarry
You alone are eligible
You'll be a spinster all your life
You make the best bride's maid
When will my brother-in-law return?
Day after tomorrow
Arrange to include John
in a party with him
He has not had the chance of meeting him
Okay
I take
You take anything I play
I prefer to take than to give
No wonder your boyfriends' for greener pastures
You may get AIDS
Through promiscuous sex
Even heterosexuals get it
That sales girl told me that yesterday
What else did she tell you?
Such as no underpants, no gambling losses
Go on playing
So plump
I adore you
I'm putting her there for the time being
What?
Don't you know kidnapping
& swapping are now rampant?
You want to have a swap?
This is not the real Snow White
Are you afraid?
Look
Snow-white, without dirt
The limbs are plumb
No bites and no pimples
No, this is not Snow White
Give me back my baby
I don't want your
skinny crying baby
She has a mark too
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7
Right, right
Snow White's seven dwarfs
Darling, my dearest
You've brought her up so well and plump
Is she breast-fed?
How much do you get each month?
Good girl
Give them a rise
Little darling
We're leaving. Thank you, bye-bye
You're grandma's darling
Thank you
It's true, it's true
Snow White's returned home
We're back to a happy life
Come on
Let's go for a steak dinner
Let's go for a moonlight walk
Let's go swimming
Let's go dancing
John
I haven't long worn such a pretty dress
I'll be filming commercials on Lantau Island next week
Join me for 2 days
We may dive,
catch lobsters and shell fish
Who'll take care of the baby?
We can take her along
You may leave. Go to eat
Come on
Bring it to the original position. Okay?
John, let's have one too
Baby
Stop joking. Let's go
Come on
You know what people are usually quiet?
A married couple
You don't agree?
I'm getting better & better in nursing babies
You're an expert in this
At first I thought
it was a hard task
Never. Any woman folk can do it
We've made Snow White so plump & White
I can fix even the most
under-nourished baby
Is mother love that great?
Let's have one of our own
Right, babies are cute
and adorable
Only because
she is not ours
No harm in treating her as a doll
But your child will be yours for life
I know you love Snow White
I saw you sucking her toes
Aren't the couple next-door regretting
the birth of their children?
I want to be a mother
I don't want to be a father
You're selfish
A man
can be a dad even at 50
but a woman is different
Isn't it nice to be free without burden?
Go anywhere
and do anything you like
You don't know how enjoy life
Well,
you said it
I won't consult you on anything then
Mary, we're modern people
Do anything you like
as you no need to take responsibility for me
Have I ever been in your way?
Only if you say you love me no more
I won't entangle you
You dare not take because you fail to give
I don't want to turn love into responsibility
You have no sense of responsibility
You're afraid
of look after your children
You prefer to be carefree
You prefer to be a bachelor
You'll have no son to see the last of you
Listen,
even this is better than
Those who forsook
their own children
Go to Po Leung Kuk to see for yourself
The children all have parents
but none care for them
I'm not sure
my love can last
You're prudish; you're beastly
Every man yearns to be a father
Now I can't be one even if I want to
You're selfish and inconsiderate
In a few years I won't be fit for pregnancy
Sister's right
You don't want to marry me
So you do want to have kids now?
It's cold. I must've caught it last night
And I have a fever
It's psychology
You'll get well in a week
What? You're an unwed mother then
Not an unwed mother, the only mother
Even though I can afford a child
You need the help of a man
Now I have an over-all plan
Keep the position
for 3 minutes to ensure success
Right
Too low, too low
Higher to control
the lower part muscles
Come on, higher
I like this suit
May I ask
Have you got something...
stimulating?
Not here, upstairs
And the menu
John's young, he doesn't need this
Brother-in-law needs it
Are you going to move to Shatin?
No, only to have a look
Want to speculate in property? Investments?
Not bad, it's facing south
It has good fung shui and is a good buy
This is best for the mahjong room
What about the baby's room?
Not bad. When both partners achieve orgasm
the chance of pregnancy is enhanced
The sperms and the ova match better
Thank you
Any other questions?
No, thank you
Remember the chance of pregnancy
during ovulation is bigger
I know
14 days before the cycle is the ovulation
Today's the 10th
Hello, Darling
Darling
I can't get well
after treatment
Sorry, Darling
I don't want to convey it to you
You need some tonic
I'll boil something for you tonight
Thank you, darling
So my sweat pays off
Deer's antler and Spanish fly soup
See if it tastes good
Darling, snacks before meal
Diced dog meat and live oysters
See if it tastes all right
Good
Eat more oysters
The main dish is old cat with organs
Thank you
The dessert is chicken stewed with Geiji jelly
Darling, I've already taken much
Take some Geiji jelly is expensive
The sperms extracted from strong Geiji
Baby tortoise with coffee after meal
What kind of a meal is that?
Essences of Dragon, Tiger and Leopard
Mary, what day is today?
The marriage of my boss Chow's daughter
Open up, darling
The tonics are powerful
Open up, open up
No hurry
Sorry, darling, I can't hold on
What are you doing?
I'm dancing Cambolia's Fertility dance
I want to seduce you
Darling, just tell me how you're doing
Darling
Take a bath first
Black Pearl has come to perform in HK
Yes, wonderful
AIDS means Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome
The sufferer
has no resistance
Even a small cold
may cause complications and get no cure
Top US model
Amy Liege
aka Black pearl!
Suddenly collapsed during rehearsal last week and was taken to hospital
Observation showed
she had AIDS
and is not the 39th AIDS carrier in HK
I'll be the 40th then?
I'll die for sure
Darling
Black Pearl hit Hong Kong? Help!
Darling
Yes?
Pack up and move
What do you mean?
We didn't quarrel
Not so hard
You may kill the unborn baby
Prenatal education is important
Read some good books and
the child may become a scholar
Listen to some good music
and he may become a famous singer
Anyway, I want my child to be good-looking
and famous all over the world
I have a share in the child too
Don't be too sure
I can't guarantee whether the skin of
the child will be yellow, black or white
He may even be blond
I already have a name in mind
Pierre Cardin
for a French boy
Jaji Momo for a Malay
Deli Mari for an Indian
Anyway, he won't be a Chen
Mary, don't move out
Have you the right
to stop me?
Out of my way or I'll call the police
I'm doing this for your own good
You don't like kids, but I do
You don't want to be daddy, but I want to be mummy
You want to remain a bachelor
Now we each get what we want
Mary
Sister
What are you doing?
I can't bear it anymore he doesn't respect me
I must move out to lead a new life
Good, let's combine to build our beautiful future
Mary
If the child were Japanese
I'd call him Sayonara
Sister, let's go
Mary, Mary
Damn, shit...
It's too heavy
Ladies, we live at Block A
We have ID cards with 3 stars
I'm a civil servant
with a golden rice bowl
Yes, yes
We're all boy scouts
We perform one good deed everyday
Well, let me
We still have appeal
So you like seeing movies
Yes, costume, modern, tragedy, comedy
All I like too
What about Wednesday?
The night show's better, it's hot
Yes, yes
The 7:30 show, then snacks till dawn. OK?
I can eat 5 meals every day
Eating is the best enjoyment in life
Especially when in the company of a beloved one
Are you free Saturday night?
I think so
Sunday's off
We can stay out late Saturday night. Right?
Fixed. I'll pick you up at 7
Daddy, I've fixed it for you
I've fixed it for you too Go on
Do you like Chinese or foreign movies?
Either
Do you prefer foreign food or Chinese food?
Foreign food
A candlelit dinner is romantic
Let's take foreign meal
Remind those models
Of the fitting schedule
I know she's at meeting
I'll wait for her here
It won't help
She just called she won't return today
She's been busy
Here are her address and phone number
Write her if you don't care to call
Thank you
Dick, what happened to you?
I...
No wonder your wife's divorcing you
Is she divorcing me?
She even sold the house You must move tomorrow
I won't sign it
My 3 life policies
name her as beneficiary
Why are you still so nice to her?
You don't understand
It was only a minor misunderstanding
She still loves me
And I love her very much
We're brothers Do me a favor
We have different surnames
Would you fool around
after she leaves you?
Fool around?
Would you?
So you still love her
If you do, love her baby too
How can you prove her baby is yours?
Or course, she's my wife
She has no other boyfriends
I've never heard you called her Darling
You said, no need to keep a cow to drink milk
One keeping a cow can go out to get milk
Anyway, she's your cow
When the baby is born
We can have a blood test to test its identity
Mary's young,
she can easily get admirers
Mary is not this type of a person
You know
social ethics are slinking
Pretty girls like us
can easily get duped
So don't take things for granted
Formerly may be, but she's pregnant now
Elderly man who love children and have none
May fall for her
It pays to get one
with a bonus
What now?
Try to win her attention
Show her your worth
Lend a hand in decoration
Help do the dishes and dump garbage
Help clean the floor and the toilet
When she finds you indispensable
she'll come back to you
Bye-bye
Bye-bye
Let's play again next week
Good
Son, he may be your rival
Daddy, maybe he's yours
Are you looking for the old or the young?
Both
So it's you
Yes
Do you need any help?
Just have a look
How's the whitewash?
Up to professional standards
Let me hang the paintings for you
Let me fix the ventilator for you
Ventilator, ventilator
In good working condition
The TV aerial may need fixing
The reception's good, except the satellite
The Hi-fi is not yet fixed
Need any other help?
Yes
Something must need fixing
Anything else you want to forsake?
You
A pity she's not interested
Daddy, this time he may look for yours
Ask him first
Are you looking for the old or the young?
Neither
I'm a dying man
I have no more demands
An incurable disease?
AIDS
I have a share in both
The moral of the story is:
One slip could be fatal
He wants to pick up the thrown away flowers
Coming, coming
I won't open it for him
I won't
Damn, he's so fond of littering
I'll throw away the bag to stop that
Mary
Sorry, brother-in-law. Go in
I won't admit him
If he comes in, I'll go out
Forget it
Brother-in-law, let me go out with you
Are you alright?
Yes
Wish you got pneumonia, Little Moustache
Your sister doesn't understand
Men of my age
may not do as they wish
We may not be too close, but
it doesn't mean I haven't done a man's duty
Do you know
after a hard day's work, I still do all I can in bed
You women are never satisfied
None but you understand me
I must rescue my relationship with her
Promise to help me
Bad, he's even proposing to her
I promise
Mary
Finished, damn Moustache
My wife's finished
Don't drink too much You may get drunk
Drink what?
Damn Moustache
Congratulations on being a father soon
Cheers
What? She didn't tell me
She deliberately moved out
Whose is her baby?
Mine
It pays you to be a surrogate dad, Moustache
Bastard, you cuckolded me
Go to hell!
You pull my legs I won't forgive you
Stop that!
Go out and fight if you prefer
It's alright
I'm pro-military, I bet on that middle-aged man
I'm pro-youth, I bet on that young man
Bastard
You cuckolded me
Pull my legs?
Damn Moustache, go to hell
Come on, bastard
I'll kill you
You've ruined my marriage
You've taken away my old shoes
What?
I've been Dauphne's husband for years
Dauphne, Mary's sister?
You're...
I'm Dauphne's husband Dick Szutu
I'm John Chen
Mary's husband
The one who hasn't registered
The military wins
The young man wins
They're back
Alright?
They're back
They're embracing each other
What's wrong?
Excuse me
How's it?
All right?
Are you all right?
Yes
Two beers
Who's the winner?
All of a kind. What now?
The banker takes
Violence leads to acquaintance
You two in conmen are terrific
Have tea
We must get back our money
You don't understand I thought I had AIDS
Give me back my money
What?
What? You've taken away our money
I have AIDS
He's got AIDS
Is it all right?
Maybe I got hurt last night
Look
Well, better now?
Yes, thank you
As I said, we don't need girls
We can fix it ourselves
Right you are
But, I won't live long, John
You must take care of me
I'll look after you till the last minute
So long as you live
I'll do everything
to make you happy, Dick
Thank you
I'm afraid, I dare not see a doctor
Maybe a test will show otherwise
I have no resistance I'm sure it's AIDS
AIDS Advisory Centre?
So John has a perverted taste
What taste?
He's gay
I don't think he is
He's manly,
he smokes a pipe
It makes no difference A gay's a gay
Impossible
What's it then?
This morning I saw him in bed with a burly
He's brought disgrace
to our village
Formerly people like him got immersed in water
I'm his friend, I won't call the police
Now I know why
he wouldn't marry you
Mary, Mr Chen's
going into your room
It's John
He's inside. Come quick
Not here
Behind the chair
Don't move
What are you doing here?
It's on serious business
How serious?
The misunderstanding between your sister & your brother-in-law
I feel we have the obligation
to help them solve their problem
So I've come specially to consult you
Arrange for them
to meet to reconcile
I'll do all I can to persuade sister
She's out traveling
/She won't return till next week
Well, let's have lunch at Stanley Restaurant on Tuesday
Okay
Well, see you nest Tuesday
John
How's it?
Are you hiding something from me??
No, nothing at all
Have you been doing something irregular?
No
I'm open and aboveboard
You're gay, you love men
How can you talk like that?
This morning I saw you
in bed with a Burly
You even uttered a heavy groan
It was her brother-in-law
So you did it with my brother-in-law
Immerse him in water
What a bitch you are, Hsiao Pao
You're ruining my marriage
Look at you. Aren't you gay?
Look at his pose
Get away!
I'm ashamed to see you
You said my husband's gay?
I'm not too sure
What then?
What should we do?
I've no experience in this
Neither
do I
Anyway, let's wait and see
Still not here
Sit down
What will you have, gentlemen?
Beer
Two
You can't drink beer Drink tea
OK, OK
I want one beer, and he wants hot tea
Make it hot
Okay
Thank you
Why is your hand cold?
The air-conditioning
Let's go over there It's not so cold
Mary, they're afraid of being seen
I'll help you get there
They're coming over
Dauphne
Please don't touch me
I want to reconcile with you
I'm not sure
if you're a man
I know I've done you an injustice
Let's be platonic lovers
like the two heroes
in Ku Lung Novel
That won't serve any practical purpose
Only if we keep our name as a couple
You can do anything you like
Frankly, what's your real relationship?
We've known each other for a short time
but we're close like brothers
You fox
Me?
Sit down. People may see it
Are you afraid of being seen?
Anyway, I won't agree
I won't take a gay for my husband
Gay?
You're worse than beasts
And I saw you help him get in
and caress each other
You were speaking in a whisper
And choose a dark corner
My God
Brother
Look, look
I couldn't care less
Speak up
To prove our innocence
I strongly announce a secret
This man has got AIDS
It means you have got it too
Our kid...
He's clean
How did you get it?
From a woman, not a man
How long can you live?
At first it was only suspicion
I was checked by the AIDS Centre
The report will surely bode evil
Darling, I've already bought double insurance
Darling, I'm sorry
Come here. I must cling to you more
Wait for me. I'll come right away
I merely tried to avoid getting you involved
I can't find
another one nicer to me
I'll keep close to you tonight
Don't, I might not control myself
Let's not get so close
I'm not afraid of death
I won't let you die
Rats, rats!
Now it's okay
Let me
Don't
Help him. You need help
Him?
Help him
Anything urgent, Miss Huang?
Mary?
Dauphne?
Over there, over there
No, here
Over there
Hit it
Here
Where's it now?
Missing
Over here
Hurry up
Don't move
Missing again
Where's it?
Let's all try to find it
Get it quick
You're biting me
You may become
the 41st AIDS carrier
Be careful
Get it, get it
It's entered the kitchen
Kill it, kill it
Where's it?
So you asked for it
Fixed
Darling, it's dawn. Call now
Darling, call and see if you're all right
I'll dial for you
I want to know the test result,
Code 1379414
Yes
How's it?
There's nothing wrong
Brother-in-law, it's good you're okay
Thank you
Good luck
A narrow escape
Sister, where are you going?
We're going for a second honeymoon
We're going to see our son in London
Are you ready, darling?
Don't push me, darling
We still have lots of time, darling
Darling, our dearest little darling
Look, how happy the family of 3 are
Come together to see us in England
Let's see Is your house big enough?
Yes, for three, but not for one
Have the big room ready and we'll come
Be nice to each other
Yes
Be nicer to her
Darling, let's board the plane now
Bye-bye
Bye-bye, brother-in-law
Bye-bye, sister
Bye-bye
Go now
Bye-bye
How are you?
This must be Miss Huang
Sorry about last night
It's alright
Why such a hurry? I prefer to go slow
Let's return to Sai Kung
I must go to work
Let me call your office to ask for a sick leave
I'm not used to lying
Spanish fly
Tortoise
What? Reshooting on Lantau island tomorrow? Are you joking?
It's urgent. That's all
Mary
Yes?
Guess if they've reached New Delhi?
It's hot there
They must be swimming
She'll call you tonight
Are you still there then?
Yes
Mary, I'm making that day's specialty
Come and taste it
Shall we taste it together?
Are you still there?
Yes, shall I stand before you?
Yes
Well, pray then
Keep asking, and I'll say yes
Miss Huang, still here at this hour?
I'm leaving soon
See if there's a black convertible
waiting outside
Yes
Thank you
Mary, are you here? Where's John?
He's in Sai Kung
Where are you?
New Delhi's hot and humid
Didn't John want you back?
Yes, but...
What else do you expect then?
A pregnant woman must be cheerful
or she may get an ugly child
Go home now. OK, bye-bye
They're going to be alright We're out-moded
No
No?
John was misunderstood
because of us...
Right, we must help them in return
You evil man
Outrageous
You seduced a man, you bitch
You take me for an idiot? You perform every night
You must be loaded now
What about you
playing a bachelor?
You take me for a moron?
How dare you, bitch?
You called your darling that night
and got another man escorting you tonight
Where are you going?
I swear
I'll kill you tonight
I...
I'll make you a eunuch
I'll level you down like an airport
Come on
You...
Who's it?
John
What happened? Got raped?
Pao Niu
You can sue your husband for raping
An American woman
got a big compensation for this
Need first aid?
Put on Mary's dress now
John
Don't worry, it's safe here
If Pao Niu comes, I'll beat him up
Lots of things to eat
You know nothing but eating
You've masculine appeal
I didn't feel it till now
A big, sexy nose
Your slender eyes make you
an Eastern beauty
$200 a bottle for such a color
Creep, why didn't your begrudge it?
Play bowling and go to bed
I've to piss
Me, too
Like a piggy, how awkward
Don't tell others, Hsiao Pao
I don't wash my hands after doing it
Neither do I
Help!
Mary, Mary
Please don't misunderstaning us
and don't get the wrong idea
There was nothing between me and Hsia Pao
We drank only
And you put on my dressing gown
and slept on my bed
Pao Niu raped her last night
What a funny joke
Am I blind and idiotic?
I saw you two in the same bed
Listen to my explanation
Well, find a logical excuse
while I'm busy clearing up
Hsiao Pao told us everything
You don't have to be on your guard
I'll kick you away like a ball
Even the ambulance is ready
Thank you
John
Mary
I'll confess
I'm heartless, I'm damned
I shouldn't have done that with
my crony's wife, while drunk
Now you caught us in the act
Even God won't forgive me
I confess to everything
but please listen to my explanation
I'm a man, a normal man
I can love, hate and
have biological needs
You're my wife, you should understand me
I never womanize
You can imagine how much I suffer
And you know Hsiao Pao. She...
I couldn't control myself
Now the mistake has been made
Don't forgive me, punish me
Hit me, punish me!
What are you doing?
To punish you
Don't
Stealing a friend's wife is unforgivable
But you did it
Don't
I'll kill you, I'll kill you!
Hit me, you'll make me feel better
Don't, talk it over
You may kill him
Don't, don't!
It hurts
Come here, Mary's in a coma
Mary, Mary...
I'll call an ambulance
Mary, are you all right?
Hurry up
Mary
The baby's gone
Mary, let's get married
We're still young,
we can have babies again, right?
Get married and have children?
What's so strange?
Are you proposing?
When you're well, we'll go to the Marriage Registry
Won't you regret?
Don't you resent me for what I did?
I know you're innocent
Why then...
You acted badly I'm not impressed
When did you come to know it?
The green nail
polish of Hsiao Pao
couldn't have turned you on
The nail polish in the toilet
reminded me of your green phobia
Are you alright?
I lied to stop Pao Niu from killing you
Driver, stop
We're not going to the hospital
Where to, sir
I know where you're going
Why are you two here?
We've come specially to help you
It was so hard to be peace-makers
Right, we moved up and down
And we each played our part
And he bossed us around
Here we are. Get out
Frankly, did you and John...
Darling, I use green nail polish
But you won't wear the cuckold's green hat
Congratulations
Let me have a kiss
You deduced a man, you bitch
I told you not to run
these embarrassing tapes
Pao Niu borrowed them, not I
81, 82, 83...
Don't used this kind of nail polish
It really turns me off
This will do
Got it free with $400 worth of purchase
What a waste not to use it
What are you doing?
This is a way of self-deception
or doing things the wrong way
or just stone-blind
which is not any better
This means equality for all
Bad, it's not too safe today
Have you taken the pill?
The doc told me to discontinue after 6 months
I discontinued it a fortnight ago when
you were away filming in Saudi Arbia
Okay
As they say on TV, man must chip in
What are you doing?
No more
What are you doing?
Taking a bath, then sleeping
Is that all?
Now you've really turned me on
How can I sleep peaceful now?
Something here will bring you sleep
How about taking it off?
No
The fortnight in Saudi Arabia
made me a celibate
I can't control myself anymore
Well, I'll cool you down
Why? Still not asleep?
It's like the Heilungchiang forest fire
It takes over 100 hoses to put it out
Plastic wrap, plastic wrap
Where's the plastic wrap?
What are you doing?
Take me the plastic wrap
Rubbers
Rubbers
Hurry up
You've gone too far
Want to add foil to ensure double safety?
Safety should come first
The bell rings
At this hour?
Still not in bed?
It's Pao Niu
Luckily I didn't awake you
Did your wife hurt you again?
The mad woman put power glue on my face
and the skin came off
What a shame for a man?
We're like brothers
With different surnames
Well, we're not brothers
I'll leave it with you for the night
In face, only for half a night
Glad you understand
My wife's out for a performance
She left early and is still not back
I must rush delivery to a client
Over a dozen artwork
on that Soviet diamond
It's unsafe to keep it in my home
I know I'm absent-minded
If anything happens...
OK, OK
Well, let's talk about it tomorrow
You agree then?
Put it here, put it here
Gold, diamond, jewelry, stocks, title deeds
and everything are here
Keep it carefully
You know my mother-in-law is tough
You may leave
What did he put here?
So it's his daughter
Snow White
No need to sleep tonight
Quiet!
Don't!
What are you doing?
People may see us
There's no one around
Come on
Nobody at home?
Who's it?
Sister, so it's you, you're early
Early? It's already midnight in the Middle East
Your brother-in-law kept me waiting the whole night
This morning he called & asked for a postponement
How many times is that?
The 31st time
Next time?
Next time? There's no next time
Next time I'll divorce him
I envy you for your co-habitation
That saves you a lot of trouble
This is feminine work Let me do it
Don't be miserly
Throw it away
Eating roast pork at dawn?
Sister, let me
Never mind, let me do it
Your cousin's now married
and wants to have kids
She's already over 30
She might regret it if she got a freak
Right. These are for you
Can't she write my name?
How? Mr and Mrs Chen?
You're not yet married
To write Miss Huang may hurt him
You're making things difficult for us
I must change and go to work
The bill, please
Coming
Egg noodles, and tea with milk, stronger
I'm in the mood today, I'll give you more eggs
Hsiao Pao
Bye-bye
Here you are
Half an egg
Thank you, madam
Morning, John
I didn't see anything, I really didn't
Even evidence for the Court is erased
Was that car beautiful?
Car? What car?
Chicken Porsche?
I thought you
were kidnapped
Any fashion show at midnight?
It's so far away
and you have no car to pick me up
Don't think I have no appeal
Did you go out with a man last night?
No way Hit me if you're a man
Okay
Damn you, I'll fight with you
I'll slap you back to your sense
Don't make a scene in public
Wasn't she escorted by someone in a car?
No. She walked home
Why not? He lied
Tell him there was a Rolls Royce,
a Benz...
lining up for me
The men were all
lining up for me
You're unchaste and vain
You're materialistic
Don't quarrel here
Go home first
Keep away
Bitch, even a wooden barrow attracts you
The rent is $50 an hour
Help!
Get going, tramp!
I'll kill you
Go home first, will you?
Hurling things at me?
This is my home
Don't
Buddy, stop
Stop
It's very expensive
I'll kill you
My crystal vase!
See if you have any more admirers
Look, our daughter's now uncared for
You know I've to rush delivery to my clients
She's your daughter too
Now a man has to nurse too
A woman suffers labor pains
What does a man do other than changing diapers?
I'll fight with you
Don't
A man should be career-minded Understand?
My career is now
sprouting like sunrise
Our daughter lacks family care
You bitch
Go to hell!
Go to hell!
Go to hell, you're irresponsible
Don't hurl, it's your daughter!
At worst I'll look after her for you
Okay
Why didn't you answer the phone?
I was quarreling with my boyfriend
He kept entangling mom,
wanting to marry me
I said
it's boring to stick to one man
Do you have a new boyfriend every night?
No
but I prefer your mode of life
At least he won't order me to do the dishes
And I can go out freely with other men
Even darning his socks
is too good for him
Things would be different if we were married
I've to iron his clothes like an amah
Do you envy me?
Of course, it's honeymoon every day
When the honeymoon's over, one thinks of home
Right now I don't feel like having a home
Why?
As you've said, he's not your husband
You can't gripe if he doesn't return home
You can't join him if he gets emigrated
An you've to pack up
if he has a new lover
And it's awkward
to talk about money
Anyway, I've the feeling he doesn't belong to me
We can't love each other openly
But a married man may want children
After having a child, you get wrinkles
and you can't wear bikini
After all these years, I get fed up with it
My boyfriend's right
One values only what he can't get
not what he already owns
Popeye
Have some orange juice
Watch television
Cartoon, all children like it
Don't cry, I beg you
Please
Buddha, I'll worship you
Don't cry, I beg you
Thank God
She's been crying for 7 hours
I tried everything, but she turned down everything
and cried even louder
Why not? She's wet
Don't cry. Be nice
No wonder I couldn't
remove the smell on me
For 2 weeks How can you sleep at night?
Haven't you still got two weeks' leave?
You resent the presence of a third person
You resented it yourself
Well, I'll take her back
and tell them she kept crying in your presence
She didn't cry, she's nice
Thank you
Excuse me
What are you doing?
Is she going to stay away so long?
She's not used to sleeping outside
Do me a favor
And this
Come on
Thank you
They're the new foster daddies & mommies
Greet them
You two stop quarreling!
In fact, we should thank you
Since you got an addition burden
We've had less responsibility
We've had less friction
We quarrel less
and have a common objective
of working together for our career
Hsiao Pao, you're not a good mommy
She's all covered with dirt
She won't catch cold
Save medical expenses
Look, she's covered with bruises & prickly heat
Well, she never had this trouble before
Don't disturb them in their sleep
Go now
Good night
Go now, or we may be accused of persecution
Newly bought, it's iron-clad
Let's buy an electric round bed, okay?
For a lovers' hotel? No business
A water bed shakes heaven & earth
Like Holy Monkey in mermaids Palace?
Let me take a bath
Okay
Smell. Fragrant, am I?
I say, it's inflammable
Read
Watch television
A breast-fed child is smarter
Please breast-feed
for better mankind
Are you serious?
A 3-alarm fire occurred
in a 5-star Hotel in Manila
killing 5 and injuring 11
Brother-in-law had a hand in building it
Excuse me
See you around
The girl's name is Black Pearl
She is the hottest model in the decade
OK, please try again later, thanks
Good morning
When are you going back to Hong Kong?
Next week
Black Pearl is offered a job in Asia
I offer to be her guide
but she said she'd found someone else
I just wonder who the hell that could be
Do you have any idea at all?
Excuse me, sir, your call is through
Thank you
Darling, so you come for me?
Where are you?
Manila
I'm not designing a Swimming Pool
for a Hotel
I thought you were in the Middle East
The changed plans I've been here for 2 days
There was a 3-alarm fire
in a 5-star Hotel in Manila
It could have been
in flames by now
Something wrong with the line I'll talk to you when I return
Glad you're here Take her away
We were passing through and
want to see how your foster daughter is
She is not my foster daughter
John, her grandma's still not back
You promised to stay for 2 weeks
Time's up for feeding
Let me feed her
3 spoonfuls, she's grown now
Too much play in the day, she gets bad dreams at night
Come on
Why didn't you check the temperature first?
Look, it's so hot You want to kill her?
Go now
Let's go
Bye-bye, Snow White
Look, you've already influenced her badly
Enough, enough
So pity
Your parents are hopeless
Well, your foster dad adores you
Well, does it work?
You haven't come at a better time
You made me do the feminine work
Where are you going?
I do something a man should do
Be nice. I adore you
John, remember to get some talcum power
Because she was nearly suffocated
by the blanket
I was doing artificial respiration on her
Artificial respiration?
Yes
John, she really is cute
She's brought life
to the family
But Pao Niu gets on better
without her
Can't you see it
from his looks?
What do you say?
It shows the baby's not so cute
How have you been doing, bachelor?
Haven't seen you for a week
Bachelor? He already has Mary at home
Nonsense, do long as she's not my wife
I'm an eligible bachelor
If I tell Mary,
your ears will suffer
You must be joking
A newcomer?
Fresh from school she's a summer worker
Look, there's no lack of nice girls
It's silly to get married
You don't have to keep a cow to get milk
Come with Mary to my home for dinner tomorrow night
Your wife's birthday?
My son's full-moon birthday
Another masterpiece
Let me drink to it
You really are braver than I
I wouldn't dare to drink of it
What if Mary should go out
to drink milk?
I'm now living like a married man
At least Mary has true feelings for me
You think I pull through with my wife everyday?
Listen, John
Cohabitation's like one without an ID card
You always have a forlorn feeling
Be nice, Snow White
Snow White, Snow White
Pao Niu's still not back We're late
There's still no answer
Coming
The volunteer's here
The volunteer's here
We're going out for dinner
We'll return at 10
Look, my hands are full
It's now 8, I must leave at 10 sharp
Don't blame me
if you're late
She's your own daughter
Not until one week later
I'm doing you
a favor only
as a friend and a neighbor
You...
Go now
Be back on time
Pao Niu, remember to feed her at 8:30
Something extra is okay
John, guess if we're going to be late?
No
I'll take you to a place
we've never been to
What place?
A Motel?
John, we're late
We won't be
Marry, a large bathtub
We can bathe together
No, it's time to feed the baby
I'll do it myself
Pao Niu's absent-mined He may forget
So I must remind him
Pao Niu, have you fed her?
Yes, can't you hear her sound of satisfaction?
Why's she crying so hard?
It's a Baby-Crying Contest on TV
She can't help laughing at it
He's hung up
The baby's crying terribly
Could he have fled to avoid conviction?
He might kill her to destroy the evidence
Change now
Be nice and make an honest living
Your foster parents may punish me
when they back home
Why have you made such a mess?
Why have you got such a dirty face?
You've ruined me
I have no way out
Come on, Mary
What now?
Pao Niu
I want to fly to the sky
How exciting!
What a rare experience!
What's wrong?
What a pity!
You're lucky
Your son's studying in UK
Your husband's successful businessman, flying to and fro
In fact,
I'm bored at home
Sex problem?
What's your solution?
I make it myself
What? Are you sure?
3 Grands, $128 each, please
Don't get the wrong idea
I haven't even made a small game in 8 rounds
You females are in jinx
Sister
Why are you so late?
You've already had enough players
Your cousin's looking for a bride's maid
You alone are eligible
I...
Your sister and I are both married
She's divorced
She's planning to remarry
You alone are eligible
You'll be a spinster all your life
You make the best bride's maid
When will my brother-in-law return?
Day after tomorrow
Arrange to include John
in a party with him
He has not had the chance of meeting him
Okay
I take
You take anything I play
I prefer to take than to give
No wonder your boyfriends' for greener pastures
You may get AIDS
Through promiscuous sex
Even heterosexuals get it
That sales girl told me that yesterday
What else did she tell you?
Such as no underpants, no gambling losses
Go on playing
So plump
I adore you
I'm putting her there for the time being
What?
Don't you know kidnapping
& swapping are now rampant?
You want to have a swap?
This is not the real Snow White
Are you afraid?
Look
Snow-white, without dirt
The limbs are plumb
No bites and no pimples
No, this is not Snow White
Give me back my baby
I don't want your
skinny crying baby
She has a mark too
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7
Right, right
Snow White's seven dwarfs
Darling, my dearest
You've brought her up so well and plump
Is she breast-fed?
How much do you get each month?
Good girl
Give them a rise
Little darling
We're leaving. Thank you, bye-bye
You're grandma's darling
Thank you
It's true, it's true
Snow White's returned home
We're back to a happy life
Come on
Let's go for a steak dinner
Let's go for a moonlight walk
Let's go swimming
Let's go dancing
John
I haven't long worn such a pretty dress
I'll be filming commercials on Lantau Island next week
Join me for 2 days
We may dive,
catch lobsters and shell fish
Who'll take care of the baby?
We can take her along
You may leave. Go to eat
Come on
Bring it to the original position. Okay?
John, let's have one too
Baby
Stop joking. Let's go
Come on
You know what people are usually quiet?
A married couple
You don't agree?
I'm getting better & better in nursing babies
You're an expert in this
At first I thought
it was a hard task
Never. Any woman folk can do it
We've made Snow White so plump & White
I can fix even the most
under-nourished baby
Is mother love that great?
Let's have one of our own
Right, babies are cute
and adorable
Only because
she is not ours
No harm in treating her as a doll
But your child will be yours for life
I know you love Snow White
I saw you sucking her toes
Aren't the couple next-door regretting
the birth of their children?
I want to be a mother
I don't want to be a father
You're selfish
A man
can be a dad even at 50
but a woman is different
Isn't it nice to be free without burden?
Go anywhere
and do anything you like
You don't know how enjoy life
Well,
you said it
I won't consult you on anything then
Mary, we're modern people
Do anything you like
as you no need to take responsibility for me
Have I ever been in your way?
Only if you say you love me no more
I won't entangle you
You dare not take because you fail to give
I don't want to turn love into responsibility
You have no sense of responsibility
You're afraid
of look after your children
You prefer to be carefree
You prefer to be a bachelor
You'll have no son to see the last of you
Listen,
even this is better than
Those who forsook
their own children
Go to Po Leung Kuk to see for yourself
The children all have parents
but none care for them
I'm not sure
my love can last
You're prudish; you're beastly
Every man yearns to be a father
Now I can't be one even if I want to
You're selfish and inconsiderate
In a few years I won't be fit for pregnancy
Sister's right
You don't want to marry me
So you do want to have kids now?
It's cold. I must've caught it last night
And I have a fever
It's psychology
You'll get well in a week
What? You're an unwed mother then
Not an unwed mother, the only mother
Even though I can afford a child
You need the help of a man
Now I have an over-all plan
Keep the position
for 3 minutes to ensure success
Right
Too low, too low
Higher to control
the lower part muscles
Come on, higher
I like this suit
May I ask
Have you got something...
stimulating?
Not here, upstairs
And the menu
John's young, he doesn't need this
Brother-in-law needs it
Are you going to move to Shatin?
No, only to have a look
Want to speculate in property? Investments?
Not bad, it's facing south
It has good fung shui and is a good buy
This is best for the mahjong room
What about the baby's room?
Not bad. When both partners achieve orgasm
the chance of pregnancy is enhanced
The sperms and the ova match better
Thank you
Any other questions?
No, thank you
Remember the chance of pregnancy
during ovulation is bigger
I know
14 days before the cycle is the ovulation
Today's the 10th
Hello, Darling
Darling
I can't get well
after treatment
Sorry, Darling
I don't want to convey it to you
You need some tonic
I'll boil something for you tonight
Thank you, darling
So my sweat pays off
Deer's antler and Spanish fly soup
See if it tastes good
Darling, snacks before meal
Diced dog meat and live oysters
See if it tastes all right
Good
Eat more oysters
The main dish is old cat with organs
Thank you
The dessert is chicken stewed with Geiji jelly
Darling, I've already taken much
Take some Geiji jelly is expensive
The sperms extracted from strong Geiji
Baby tortoise with coffee after meal
What kind of a meal is that?
Essences of Dragon, Tiger and Leopard
Mary, what day is today?
The marriage of my boss Chow's daughter
Open up, darling
The tonics are powerful
Open up, open up
No hurry
Sorry, darling, I can't hold on
What are you doing?
I'm dancing Cambolia's Fertility dance
I want to seduce you
Darling, just tell me how you're doing
Darling
Take a bath first
Black Pearl has come to perform in HK
Yes, wonderful
AIDS means Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome
The sufferer
has no resistance
Even a small cold
may cause complications and get no cure
Top US model
Amy Liege
aka Black pearl!
Suddenly collapsed during rehearsal last week and was taken to hospital
Observation showed
she had AIDS
and is not the 39th AIDS carrier in HK
I'll be the 40th then?
I'll die for sure
Darling
Black Pearl hit Hong Kong? Help!
Darling
Yes?
Pack up and move
What do you mean?
We didn't quarrel
Not so hard
You may kill the unborn baby
Prenatal education is important
Read some good books and
the child may become a scholar
Listen to some good music
and he may become a famous singer
Anyway, I want my child to be good-looking
and famous all over the world
I have a share in the child too
Don't be too sure
I can't guarantee whether the skin of
the child will be yellow, black or white
He may even be blond
I already have a name in mind
Pierre Cardin
for a French boy
Jaji Momo for a Malay
Deli Mari for an Indian
Anyway, he won't be a Chen
Mary, don't move out
Have you the right
to stop me?
Out of my way or I'll call the police
I'm doing this for your own good
You don't like kids, but I do
You don't want to be daddy, but I want to be mummy
You want to remain a bachelor
Now we each get what we want
Mary
Sister
What are you doing?
I can't bear it anymore he doesn't respect me
I must move out to lead a new life
Good, let's combine to build our beautiful future
Mary
If the child were Japanese
I'd call him Sayonara
Sister, let's go
Mary, Mary
Damn, shit...
It's too heavy
Ladies, we live at Block A
We have ID cards with 3 stars
I'm a civil servant
with a golden rice bowl
Yes, yes
We're all boy scouts
We perform one good deed everyday
Well, let me
We still have appeal
So you like seeing movies
Yes, costume, modern, tragedy, comedy
All I like too
What about Wednesday?
The night show's better, it's hot
Yes, yes
The 7:30 show, then snacks till dawn. OK?
I can eat 5 meals every day
Eating is the best enjoyment in life
Especially when in the company of a beloved one
Are you free Saturday night?
I think so
Sunday's off
We can stay out late Saturday night. Right?
Fixed. I'll pick you up at 7
Daddy, I've fixed it for you
I've fixed it for you too Go on
Do you like Chinese or foreign movies?
Either
Do you prefer foreign food or Chinese food?
Foreign food
A candlelit dinner is romantic
Let's take foreign meal
Remind those models
Of the fitting schedule
I know she's at meeting
I'll wait for her here
It won't help
She just called she won't return today
She's been busy
Here are her address and phone number
Write her if you don't care to call
Thank you
Dick, what happened to you?
I...
No wonder your wife's divorcing you
Is she divorcing me?
She even sold the house You must move tomorrow
I won't sign it
My 3 life policies
name her as beneficiary
Why are you still so nice to her?
You don't understand
It was only a minor misunderstanding
She still loves me
And I love her very much
We're brothers Do me a favor
We have different surnames
Would you fool around
after she leaves you?
Fool around?
Would you?
So you still love her
If you do, love her baby too
How can you prove her baby is yours?
Or course, she's my wife
She has no other boyfriends
I've never heard you called her Darling
You said, no need to keep a cow to drink milk
One keeping a cow can go out to get milk
Anyway, she's your cow
When the baby is born
We can have a blood test to test its identity
Mary's young,
she can easily get admirers
Mary is not this type of a person
You know
social ethics are slinking
Pretty girls like us
can easily get duped
So don't take things for granted
Formerly may be, but she's pregnant now
Elderly man who love children and have none
May fall for her
It pays to get one
with a bonus
What now?
Try to win her attention
Show her your worth
Lend a hand in decoration
Help do the dishes and dump garbage
Help clean the floor and the toilet
When she finds you indispensable
she'll come back to you
Bye-bye
Bye-bye
Let's play again next week
Good
Son, he may be your rival
Daddy, maybe he's yours
Are you looking for the old or the young?
Both
So it's you
Yes
Do you need any help?
Just have a look
How's the whitewash?
Up to professional standards
Let me hang the paintings for you
Let me fix the ventilator for you
Ventilator, ventilator
In good working condition
The TV aerial may need fixing
The reception's good, except the satellite
The Hi-fi is not yet fixed
Need any other help?
Yes
Something must need fixing
Anything else you want to forsake?
You
A pity she's not interested
Daddy, this time he may look for yours
Ask him first
Are you looking for the old or the young?
Neither
I'm a dying man
I have no more demands
An incurable disease?
AIDS
I have a share in both
The moral of the story is:
One slip could be fatal
He wants to pick up the thrown away flowers
Coming, coming
I won't open it for him
I won't
Damn, he's so fond of littering
I'll throw away the bag to stop that
Mary
Sorry, brother-in-law. Go in
I won't admit him
If he comes in, I'll go out
Forget it
Brother-in-law, let me go out with you
Are you alright?
Yes
Wish you got pneumonia, Little Moustache
Your sister doesn't understand
Men of my age
may not do as they wish
We may not be too close, but
it doesn't mean I haven't done a man's duty
Do you know
after a hard day's work, I still do all I can in bed
You women are never satisfied
None but you understand me
I must rescue my relationship with her
Promise to help me
Bad, he's even proposing to her
I promise
Mary
Finished, damn Moustache
My wife's finished
Don't drink too much You may get drunk
Drink what?
Damn Moustache
Congratulations on being a father soon
Cheers
What? She didn't tell me
She deliberately moved out
Whose is her baby?
Mine
It pays you to be a surrogate dad, Moustache
Bastard, you cuckolded me
Go to hell!
You pull my legs I won't forgive you
Stop that!
Go out and fight if you prefer
It's alright
I'm pro-military, I bet on that middle-aged man
I'm pro-youth, I bet on that young man
Bastard
You cuckolded me
Pull my legs?
Damn Moustache, go to hell
Come on, bastard
I'll kill you
You've ruined my marriage
You've taken away my old shoes
What?
I've been Dauphne's husband for years
Dauphne, Mary's sister?
You're...
I'm Dauphne's husband Dick Szutu
I'm John Chen
Mary's husband
The one who hasn't registered
The military wins
The young man wins
They're back
Alright?
They're back
They're embracing each other
What's wrong?
Excuse me
How's it?
All right?
Are you all right?
Yes
Two beers
Who's the winner?
All of a kind. What now?
The banker takes
Violence leads to acquaintance
You two in conmen are terrific
Have tea
We must get back our money
You don't understand I thought I had AIDS
Give me back my money
What?
What? You've taken away our money
I have AIDS
He's got AIDS
Is it all right?
Maybe I got hurt last night
Look
Well, better now?
Yes, thank you
As I said, we don't need girls
We can fix it ourselves
Right you are
But, I won't live long, John
You must take care of me
I'll look after you till the last minute
So long as you live
I'll do everything
to make you happy, Dick
Thank you
I'm afraid, I dare not see a doctor
Maybe a test will show otherwise
I have no resistance I'm sure it's AIDS
AIDS Advisory Centre?
So John has a perverted taste
What taste?
He's gay
I don't think he is
He's manly,
he smokes a pipe
It makes no difference A gay's a gay
Impossible
What's it then?
This morning I saw him in bed with a burly
He's brought disgrace
to our village
Formerly people like him got immersed in water
I'm his friend, I won't call the police
Now I know why
he wouldn't marry you
Mary, Mr Chen's
going into your room
It's John
He's inside. Come quick
Not here
Behind the chair
Don't move
What are you doing here?
It's on serious business
How serious?
The misunderstanding between your sister & your brother-in-law
I feel we have the obligation
to help them solve their problem
So I've come specially to consult you
Arrange for them
to meet to reconcile
I'll do all I can to persuade sister
She's out traveling
/She won't return till next week
Well, let's have lunch at Stanley Restaurant on Tuesday
Okay
Well, see you nest Tuesday
John
How's it?
Are you hiding something from me??
No, nothing at all
Have you been doing something irregular?
No
I'm open and aboveboard
You're gay, you love men
How can you talk like that?
This morning I saw you
in bed with a Burly
You even uttered a heavy groan
It was her brother-in-law
So you did it with my brother-in-law
Immerse him in water
What a bitch you are, Hsiao Pao
You're ruining my marriage
Look at you. Aren't you gay?
Look at his pose
Get away!
I'm ashamed to see you
You said my husband's gay?
I'm not too sure
What then?
What should we do?
I've no experience in this
Neither
do I
Anyway, let's wait and see
Still not here
Sit down
What will you have, gentlemen?
Beer
Two
You can't drink beer Drink tea
OK, OK
I want one beer, and he wants hot tea
Make it hot
Okay
Thank you
Why is your hand cold?
The air-conditioning
Let's go over there It's not so cold
Mary, they're afraid of being seen
I'll help you get there
They're coming over
Dauphne
Please don't touch me
I want to reconcile with you
I'm not sure
if you're a man
I know I've done you an injustice
Let's be platonic lovers
like the two heroes
in Ku Lung Novel
That won't serve any practical purpose
Only if we keep our name as a couple
You can do anything you like
Frankly, what's your real relationship?
We've known each other for a short time
but we're close like brothers
You fox
Me?
Sit down. People may see it
Are you afraid of being seen?
Anyway, I won't agree
I won't take a gay for my husband
Gay?
You're worse than beasts
And I saw you help him get in
and caress each other
You were speaking in a whisper
And choose a dark corner
My God
Brother
Look, look
I couldn't care less
Speak up
To prove our innocence
I strongly announce a secret
This man has got AIDS
It means you have got it too
Our kid...
He's clean
How did you get it?
From a woman, not a man
How long can you live?
At first it was only suspicion
I was checked by the AIDS Centre
The report will surely bode evil
Darling, I've already bought double insurance
Darling, I'm sorry
Come here. I must cling to you more
Wait for me. I'll come right away
I merely tried to avoid getting you involved
I can't find
another one nicer to me
I'll keep close to you tonight
Don't, I might not control myself
Let's not get so close
I'm not afraid of death
I won't let you die
Rats, rats!
Now it's okay
Let me
Don't
Help him. You need help
Him?
Help him
Anything urgent, Miss Huang?
Mary?
Dauphne?
Over there, over there
No, here
Over there
Hit it
Here
Where's it now?
Missing
Over here
Hurry up
Don't move
Missing again
Where's it?
Let's all try to find it
Get it quick
You're biting me
You may become
the 41st AIDS carrier
Be careful
Get it, get it
It's entered the kitchen
Kill it, kill it
Where's it?
So you asked for it
Fixed
Darling, it's dawn. Call now
Darling, call and see if you're all right
I'll dial for you
I want to know the test result,
Code 1379414
Yes
How's it?
There's nothing wrong
Brother-in-law, it's good you're okay
Thank you
Good luck
A narrow escape
Sister, where are you going?
We're going for a second honeymoon
We're going to see our son in London
Are you ready, darling?
Don't push me, darling
We still have lots of time, darling
Darling, our dearest little darling
Look, how happy the family of 3 are
Come together to see us in England
Let's see Is your house big enough?
Yes, for three, but not for one
Have the big room ready and we'll come
Be nice to each other
Yes
Be nicer to her
Darling, let's board the plane now
Bye-bye
Bye-bye, brother-in-law
Bye-bye, sister
Bye-bye
Go now
Bye-bye
How are you?
This must be Miss Huang
Sorry about last night
It's alright
Why such a hurry? I prefer to go slow
Let's return to Sai Kung
I must go to work
Let me call your office to ask for a sick leave
I'm not used to lying
Spanish fly
Tortoise
What? Reshooting on Lantau island tomorrow? Are you joking?
It's urgent. That's all
Mary
Yes?
Guess if they've reached New Delhi?
It's hot there
They must be swimming
She'll call you tonight
Are you still there then?
Yes
Mary, I'm making that day's specialty
Come and taste it
Shall we taste it together?
Are you still there?
Yes, shall I stand before you?
Yes
Well, pray then
Keep asking, and I'll say yes
Miss Huang, still here at this hour?
I'm leaving soon
See if there's a black convertible
waiting outside
Yes
Thank you
Mary, are you here? Where's John?
He's in Sai Kung
Where are you?
New Delhi's hot and humid
Didn't John want you back?
Yes, but...
What else do you expect then?
A pregnant woman must be cheerful
or she may get an ugly child
Go home now. OK, bye-bye
They're going to be alright We're out-moded
No
No?
John was misunderstood
because of us...
Right, we must help them in return
You evil man
Outrageous
You seduced a man, you bitch
You take me for an idiot? You perform every night
You must be loaded now
What about you
playing a bachelor?
You take me for a moron?
How dare you, bitch?
You called your darling that night
and got another man escorting you tonight
Where are you going?
I swear
I'll kill you tonight
I...
I'll make you a eunuch
I'll level you down like an airport
Come on
You...
Who's it?
John
What happened? Got raped?
Pao Niu
You can sue your husband for raping
An American woman
got a big compensation for this
Need first aid?
Put on Mary's dress now
John
Don't worry, it's safe here
If Pao Niu comes, I'll beat him up
Lots of things to eat
You know nothing but eating
You've masculine appeal
I didn't feel it till now
A big, sexy nose
Your slender eyes make you
an Eastern beauty
$200 a bottle for such a color
Creep, why didn't your begrudge it?
Play bowling and go to bed
I've to piss
Me, too
Like a piggy, how awkward
Don't tell others, Hsiao Pao
I don't wash my hands after doing it
Neither do I
Help!
Mary, Mary
Please don't misunderstaning us
and don't get the wrong idea
There was nothing between me and Hsia Pao
We drank only
And you put on my dressing gown
and slept on my bed
Pao Niu raped her last night
What a funny joke
Am I blind and idiotic?
I saw you two in the same bed
Listen to my explanation
Well, find a logical excuse
while I'm busy clearing up
Hsiao Pao told us everything
You don't have to be on your guard
I'll kick you away like a ball
Even the ambulance is ready
Thank you
John
Mary
I'll confess
I'm heartless, I'm damned
I shouldn't have done that with
my crony's wife, while drunk
Now you caught us in the act
Even God won't forgive me
I confess to everything
but please listen to my explanation
I'm a man, a normal man
I can love, hate and
have biological needs
You're my wife, you should understand me
I never womanize
You can imagine how much I suffer
And you know Hsiao Pao. She...
I couldn't control myself
Now the mistake has been made
Don't forgive me, punish me
Hit me, punish me!
What are you doing?
To punish you
Don't
Stealing a friend's wife is unforgivable
But you did it
Don't
I'll kill you, I'll kill you!
Hit me, you'll make me feel better
Don't, talk it over
You may kill him
Don't, don't!
It hurts
Come here, Mary's in a coma
Mary, Mary...
I'll call an ambulance
Mary, are you all right?
Hurry up
Mary
The baby's gone
Mary, let's get married
We're still young,
we can have babies again, right?
Get married and have children?
What's so strange?
Are you proposing?
When you're well, we'll go to the Marriage Registry
Won't you regret?
Don't you resent me for what I did?
I know you're innocent
Why then...
You acted badly I'm not impressed
When did you come to know it?
The green nail
polish of Hsiao Pao
couldn't have turned you on
The nail polish in the toilet
reminded me of your green phobia
Are you alright?
I lied to stop Pao Niu from killing you
Driver, stop
We're not going to the hospital
Where to, sir
I know where you're going
Why are you two here?
We've come specially to help you
It was so hard to be peace-makers
Right, we moved up and down
And we each played our part
And he bossed us around
Here we are. Get out
Frankly, did you and John...
Darling, I use green nail polish
But you won't wear the cuckold's green hat
Congratulations
Let me have a kiss