Couple of Days (2016) - full transcript

[phone vibrates]

Hello, dear.

Where are you?

I'm in, I'm in the office, of course.

No, I'm at your office

[stutters] I'm down at finance,

it's 15 minutes away from you.

Like, yeah... Just a block away.
I'll meet you there shortly.

Oh, come off it, not now.

I'm sure you know who that was, come on...

I have to run.



[sighs]

[cell phone ringing]

-Hello.
-[Jude] What's up, bro?

I was thinking we should get out of town
this weekend with the wives.

Uh, a couple of days. My place in Ibadan.

Hmm. Ibadan, exactly what I might need
right now,

just some peace and quiet, you know?

Yeah, sure. All right, hang on.
Let me get, uh, Dan on the call.

Hello?

Hey, I'm okay, bro.
Lanre is on the other call, yeah.

Hey, Dan, how are you doing, bro?

Hey, guy.
[speaking other language]

Yeah. So listen right. I am suggesting
you guys come with the girls,

this weekend, our place in Ibadan.
I think it'd be fun. What do you think?



What's happening this weekend?

Oh yeah! Uh, public holiday,
great, fantastic!

It is going to be our first getaway
since our honeymoon... Yeah.

I'm sure the girls would love that.

I heard, uh, they had crazy fun
at Nina's bridal shower.

Guy, trust me, you do not want to know.

I don't want to know?

Fine, okay. Guess.

Uh...

Wait, what happened?

Okay, so Nina told me that they had
"male dancers" over.

What? Whoa, whoa! Really?
Like male strippers?

I did not say male strippers,
she didn't tell it to me like that...

Listen, all I know is that
it was Joke's idea.

Aha! Who else can come up
with such a brilliant idea!

[laughs] Joke for life!

For that babe not to kill you, one day.

[Jude] We have it all locked then, um...

[stutters] I guess I should, uh,
let the girls know...

I can imagine it will take them
all of three days to get ready.

They will pack like they are going
to do winter in Switzerland.

All right guys, look, I have to go now,
my PA is over my head

like Obama wants to see me.

Hmm! That's your PA, hmm...

That's your fineass PA!
Lanre, I swear, if you see this babe...

She's fine?

She fine!

Dan! Are you for me or against me?
You like to prolong issues, come on!

I am sure Cynthia is having
a meltdown over that.

Yeah, you bet she is.

But I tell her that, me, I don't have time
for this game.

It's all work now.

Guys, look, I have to run now, yeah?
I'll talk to you guys later.

All right, see you guys.

All right, bye!

Yeah, Tina?

Sir, the joint venture meeting
with the Italian oil servicing company

is in ten minutes.

I had forgotten that...

-Would that be all, sir?
-Yes, please.

Tina...

Sir?

Thank you.

Just doing my job, sir.

[Joke sighs] Look at that.

Don't you just love Jude's new car?

And he drives it with so much suave.

When can we get a car with such sweet
leather seats, baby?

As long as you can learn to control
that shopaholic demon you have,

that's telling you to buy everything
like there's no tomorrow.

I don't have a shopaholic demon.

Come on, Lanre, how long are you
going to sulk about this?

As long as it is going to take for you
to get our money back.

Please, don't ruin this weekend
with your whining, please.

[scoffs]

How am I supposed to spend the weekend
with our friends knowing that...

Ha! The hell with it,
you can whine all you want.

I am going to have fun with my friends.

So, if you want you can just spend
the entire weekend,

you know, moaning like a pregnant woman...

If that's going to be your attitude
about it--

Come off it, Lanre. Your bitching
has become very irritating.

-Oh! So I'm bitching now?
-Yes.

What am I supposed to say to them?

-Well. I don't know...
-Uh-huh.

You didn't think about it, right?

[sighs] Not really

[scoffs]

Fine, I will take care of it. As usual.

So, what are you going to tell them?

I am just going to say,
I am going to pay them back.

And that means, no clothes,
no shopping, no vacations

for you until at least the end
of next year.

No vacations?

Really?

[sighs]

Okay, fine.

Can we at least wait until Sunday
before you tell them?

[sighs]

Now you want us play acting,
play acting with our friends, right?

We are such great actors.

You don't have to be such a grouch!
Can we just enjoy the weekend, please?

Okay.

[Lanre] Good to see you here.

[Nina] Gentlemen.

-Lanre.
-Nina.

You are looking way more beautiful
since you got married to my boy.

Thank you.

Well, you know that I have been giving her
everything she needs,

just like the doctor prescribed.

-Uh-huh.
-[Nina] What is that supposed to mean?

I didn't say anything off.

Seriously, you have no idea
what he is referring to?

But you can tell that she is receiving
everything she needs.

Mmm-hmm, yes, uh-huh.

-[shrieks]
-[laughs]

I can't believe you said that...

-Sorry.
-[Lanre] Two rabbits.

Whatever, I'm going to see my friends.
Where are my friends?

Guy, you're unbelievable.

You have lost a lot of weight.

Think you'll be able to keep up
with the boys?

Well, I sincerely hope so, man, I hope so.

I have a basketball rim here, now.

We will play basketball
tomorrow morning, yeah?

-True story.
-We'll take you up on that.

-True story.
-Man, let me get this.

-[Lanre] If I can keep up.
-[Dan groans]

Odewale! Odewale!

Ah, boss.
You're welcome, sir!

Uh-huh.

Has Wasiu come to fix the brakes
of this car?

Ah, Wasiu? Boss, Wasiu is not serious,

he didn't come here this morning.
In fact, I called him on his cell,

but he didn't pick it.

But I told him...

Don't worry.

Boss, sorry, please.
I want to tell you something!

Yes. What is it?

Boss, it is a very important discussion.

Eh, what is it, now?

[Nina] Cee baby, how are you doing?

I'm good.

I am fagged out. That traffic was illegal.

Eh, you're tired, right? So we,
the drivers, what should we say?

Uh, drivers drive, man.
They should be used to it.

-Hey!
-Hey-hey!

-We are drivers now, right?
-Mmm-hmm.

Okay, guy, on Sunday the ladies
are driving our cars.

-[Joke] What, huh?
-Nina, you heard that, right?

No please, I don't know
anything about that.

-Yes, God, drive me.
-[laughs]

Sunday, I will drive.

Trouble, you are love.

I need a bath, a massage
and a long beauty sleep. In that order.

I know...

Okay, we should do dinner.

-Now?
-Mmm-hmm.

Well yeah, but let's, let's settle in
and freshen up first. You know?

Okay, while you're doing that,
I'll just whip something together.

Hey, hey, hey! Come back, Madam Cynthia.

You are not going to do Nanny McPhee
over this weekend.

We are all going to help out
in the kitchen.

-Even Joke is going to help out.
-Ah-ha! Interesting.

-Nails, rings and fingertips.
-[chuckling]

[laughs]

Yeah, okay, fine, fine as long as I am not
the one salting or sweetening anything.

-I agree
-Don't worry. Never mind.

My caretaker is bringing groceries over

and she will be helping out
over the weekend.

So, it's fine. Don't worry your head.

Okay, so I don't have to move right now?

Well, for now.
She will be here any moment.

-All right.
-[laughter]

Oh! Did I show you guys a picture of Vero
that is flying around on the Internet?

[shrieks]

-Ha! Let us see it, Show us
-You haven't seen it?

-Show us!
-Wait, now. Calm down!

[all giggle and exclaim]

I heard that she was caught
in the mail room with a delivery boy!

[laughter]

Oh, my days! It really is her!

Oh, my God!

Veronica and that boy?

That's like having Kim Kardashian
with her pants down

on top of a chimpanzee!

-Whoa!
-[Joke laughing]

Did you just call Kanye a chimp?

Oh, well...

Boss, when next are you going to Lagos?

Huh?

Sunday. Why do you ask?

Boss, I want to ask you something.

Odewale, talk what you need be now.

Boss, I want to follow you to this Lagos.

Lagos?

Yes, sir.

What do you know
you want to go and do there?

I want to meet this man
they are calling Jagaban!

Jagaban?

Yes, sir, Jagaban!

Odewale! Or have you been drinking
this evening?

Sir, I did not drink anything.
I did not drink anything, sir.

So why do you think I will know
where to find Jagaban?

Sir, it's Judith that tell me,

Judith said that you are working
in Oando,

and that Jagaban is owner of Oando,

owner of NNPC and in fact,
owner of federal government.

So I believe that if I can meet
Jagaban like this,

my home is better in this life.

In fact, I will never suffer.
I will never suffer again, forever!

You know how they say it nowadays.
God wins!

Hey, sir.

Odewale.

Sir?

I thought you said you finished school?

Sir, I qualified with first degree
from foreign university.

But, the same people
that thiefed Buhari's certificate,

they are the same people
that thiefed my own.

Those cabals, sir,
they are very wicked.

[in feminine voice] Oh, my God,
what are you ladies doing?

Are you posting selfies and changing
your social media statuses?

[women laugh]

-Dan, you're crazy, I swear.
-[Dan laughs]

I am sure the guys must be hungry now.

Ow!

Okay. Oh!

Ju, baby.

-Yeah.
-Okay.

How about you take Joke and Lanre
to their rooms,

while I show Mr. and Mrs. Obong
to their room?

I'm sure you love the sound of that.

[cell phone ringing]

Sorry, I have to take this.

Lanre, your room is the second door
to the left.

Baby, can you help me bring
the bags, please?

[sighs]

Thank you.

[chuckles]

I would have gone
on a vacation this summer,

but, I mean, ever since Lanre started
at his new business,

I only travel like two or three times
a year now.

Hmm! And two or three times
is too few or too many?

Are you joking? Too few, of course.

I used to travel about eight
or nine times a year.

Mmm. Are those bills on your account?

Will it be my bill?

[scoffs] What's my Alhaji friends gonna
do with their money, anyway?

Hmm.

Joke, Lanre is not an Alhaji,

nor is he an ATM, hmm?

He's just a normal guy trying to hustle
his way up the ladder of life.

Joke, Lanre's time will come.

You see Jude, now that is a normal guy.

A guy with a large and stable income

who can afford to give you
just about anything you want,

whenever you want it. That's good hustle.

Joke, be patient. Lanre will come good.
He's a smart man following his dreams.

Hmm-hmm! Can we get to the part
where we can eat his dreams?

Jude is not perfect.

-Hmm?
-What did you say?

I said, Jude is not perfect.

It's his new job. It just...
It's making him more and more distant.

It's just...

He's always been too busy,
he's now getting too busy,

he is always on the phone.

Even when he's at home,
he is always on that phone.

Me, I won't mind if Lanre were that busy
and brought home a lorry load of cash.

Jude looks like a bullion van, girl.

Joke that's enough.

Look, Cynthia, I imagine
it's the pressure of the work.

You know he is new to this.

No, it's not the pressure of the job.

It's like the last time...

Mmm? Which last time?

Like that last time?

Yes.

[sighs]

He's beginning to complain
that I am putting on weight,

that I don't make up right!

I mean, look at me...

I'm only doing my best.

Cynthia, you are beautiful
the way you are.

[Joke] Did he say you are not beautiful?

Tell me, let me go and smack him
downright up!

No. It's just...

It's his new PA.

What? New PA?

Is she single?

Very single, young and fresh.

She calls him every time,
even late into the night.

What rubbish!

Girls see, when we get back to Lagos,

I'm going to look for her and I'm going to
scratch her eyeballs out.

Let's me see if she will still be young
and beautiful when I'm done with her.

-I just need one, one eyeball, just one.
-[Nina] Joke!

What? Rubbish!

Cynthia, I'm sure
you are just being paranoid.

You know how Ju begged you the last time.
He would not do that.

He has this weakness for girls.

[sighs] Every time he sees them
he's just weak like a jelly.

And every time he sees me he's just...
He's so uninterested...

Now that makes two of them.

Now, what are you talking about?

Oh! I don't mean Lanre has women issues,
I mean, he wouldn't dare...

Okay, so what are you talking about?

He's not asking for it anymore.

It's been months since I got
the cobwebs cleaned out.

It's like the sugarcane
don't work no more,

and I know that's not because
I'm not hot anymore.

And I've told you girls
a thousand and one times

that it's not about hotness.
Girl, you guys have to spice things up...

Hey! [shushes] Spice things up?

So you think because you guys
are boinking like teenagers,

that's how it's always going to be?

I think we will always have
the hots for each other.

-I mean, we are humping like teenagers.
-Mmm-hmm.

We all started like that,

and back then the neighbors used to
look at us funny,

from all the sighing and grunting.

But now...

It's either I fall asleep
before he has started,

or he falls asleep before I am finished.

[all laugh]

But Nina, Joke is right,

marriage is a long, long journey,
with way too many turns.

You just wait. Wait until you've been
in the same house

with someone for three years
and then you come back and tell me.

I am believing that my case
will be different.

Uh-huh! That's how we were believing, too.

[sighs] I just...
I don't have any evidence,

but it's just,
it's just like the first time.

[Joke] No, you don't need any evidence.

Take a knife to his balls
and confront him.

If he talks any rubbish,
then you cut it off.

Right, like you have cut off Lanre's,
then, have you?

Oh, but I don't need to.

I keep it in my hand bag
and I roll it in my palm,

whenever I'm bored or stressed.

[both exclaim]

[laughter]

You are such a witch.

Like, who says, like... Who says that?

I can't believe she just said that.

Lord knows what they are doing in there.

Well, whatever it is, it sure smells good.

See, see, Chelsea's bridge
has been turned to a canoe!

4-1, 87th minute. Guy, just forget
whatever chances at a comeback.

It's not happening.

[speaking other language]

It happens to every champion.
It's how you bounce back that matters.

Brother, leave that philosophy to talk.

Chelsea, if they lose this match,

they lose whatever chances they have
to win this damn league.

Plus Manchester is all over you guys.

-That's it.
-Manchester?

I love this.

Lanre! Eat some corn.
Why are you looking so moody?

Man, I have a lot on my mind.

[sports commentator speaking indistinctly]

I'm sorry, guys, I need to take this.

It's my PA again,
for the umpteenth time today.

-[laughs]
-[Jude] What's funny?

Nothing.

Yeah, Lanre, how's business
coming along?

Great! Um... It's going good.

So we should expect a great turnover
on our investments this year, right?

[clears throat] Yeah, um, let's see
what the books say when we open them up

-at the end of the year.
-Okay.

How's Cynthia?
Has she decided what she wants to do?

My brother...

She tried starting this perfume online
thing sometime mid last year,

but getting distribution has been
a big challenge.

Hmm.

I'm sure she would rather be a housewife,
if I let her be, that is.

[Lanre] Don't they all?

I mean, if Joke had her way

she'd just be spending all the money
as fast as I can make it

like I am some kind of ATM.

Guys, I'm sure they are not that bad,
come on.

Well, I guess.

How about you and Nina?
How are things settling down?

Uh, well, marriage is great!

I mean, the food, the comforts
and the... [clears throat] Yeah, that.

Just wait until the kids come, hmm?
Then you'll understand.

Have all the fun you want now.
When our kids came--

Kids? Oh, please!

So, Lanre, when are you and Joke going to
have us some little Lanres and Joke,

running around, tearing up the place?

Go and ask Joke that one for yourself.

As for me and my household,
no kids just yet.

You, you're like a rabid dog on heat!

Brother, rabid doesn't even begin
to describe it!

[laughs]

[sighs]

[Cynthia] Thank you. Thanks.
[Nina] Yeah.

[Joke] I am so proud of myself, I helped.

Joke you didn't do anything...

Food is ready, guys.

[indistinct chatter]

That chicken is big.

[laughter]

[both laugh]

Hey! Looks good.

[Cynthia] Which one?
[Joke] Why were you bullying me?

Is it possible to bully you, Joke?
Nobody can bully you.

[indistinct conversations]

[laughter]

[cell phone ringing]

[cell phone ringing]

Well, I guess I can take this later.

[Dan] Uh, so, can we eat now?

[Nina] Yeah sure, like anybody was
stopping you.

[Joke] Baby, taste it,
tell me if you like it. I helped.

-[Nina] She did not do anything.
-Yes, I did.

Just dressed the table.

[loud knocking on door]

Who is it?

-It's me.
-Who is me? Don't you have a name?

Me, Judith.

Ah, Judith, Judith,
you didn't told me it's you.

Come inside, come inside.
Hold on, hold on.

Judith, what did you bring for me?

Like what?

I don't like all these groceries or
toiletries. I prefer money,

but if you don't have any money,
I can still manage oranges or watermelon.

Old man, you have gone crazy.

Do you think we are
at the same level in life?

Me, Judith, it is like you are
doubting my status

and standing in this society!

Please, I have things to do
in the kitchen.

No, no, hold on, hold on. The problem
is that, you often underestimate me.

I am actually going to Lagos
with the boss to see Jagaban.

-Ha!
-Eh?

You asked him about it?

-What happened?
-I hope you did not mention my name.

I didn't mention your name.
I only told him

you are the one that told me
he works for Jagaban.

[sighs]

Old man, you're indeed insane.

You mentioned my name!

I said I told him, you are the one
that told me he works for Jagaban.

There is a difference here.

You're such a wretched old man.
You can implicate me.

Me?

Ah! Check out her impressive backside
I'm sure to still sleep with her...

[speaking other language]

It is so compulsory. Hah.

Oh! Judith, you're back.

-Yes ma'am, good evening. Thank you.
-Welcome, love. Thank you.

Thanks for helping out
with the groceries, okay.

-No problem, ma'am.
-Please drop them there.

Oh, okay.

Um, you can pick the key
from Odewale, okay?

Okay, ma'am.

You will be staying at the BQ,
till we leave, hmm?

-Thank you, ma'am.
-All right.

Er, ma'am, I...

-Is there a problem?
-No, um...

Are you better now, ma'am?

Yes, I'm better. Thanks.

Um, Judith?

Ma'am?

I am sure you know we wouldn't want you
discussing that with strangers, right?

I know, ma'am.

Good, all right. Good night.

Good night, ma'am,

-Thank you.
-Yes, ma'am.

Jude, you know Judith still remembers
the incident from three years ago?

[Jude] She does?

I guess it's not very easy to forget.

Yeah. I told her to keep mum about it.

[Jude] Well, let's hope she does.

Babe, it's really nice to have
our friends over.

Great idea from you guys.

I guess it is.

Yep.

But, did you notice Lanre was
a bit distant today?

Like, he was really awkward
at dinner table.

Huh?

Yeah, like... There was this... There was
something missing about him.

Missing? I don't get it...
I didn't see anything.

[sighs] Ju, come on... Like...

I don't know, there was this sadness
in his eyes, like he felt empty.

Woman, if you know something, why don't
you go ahead and say it,

instead of querying me here
like a spy detective?

I said I saw nothing.

You never see anything
wrong in anything.

Ah. Jude.

Sorry.

Do you know Joke has said
Lanre's thing is no longer working?

Lanre's what?

Oh, you know now, Lanre's...

I know?

Yeah.

What?

Yes.

Oh! You're joking?

Then it must be Joke that is joking.

Oh, my word.
Now, that is very bad.

Sad.

No wonder he has been so withdrawn.

I thought you said you didn't notice
anything about his behavior.

Er, I thought...
Now, that is very bad.

Oh, oh.

And with a hot wife like Joke
running loose and on heat...

This is gonna end badly.

Yeah.

[cell phone rings]

Don't you dare pick that.

Why not?

Really? At this hour?

Now, you tell that slutty-ass PA of yours
that you have a wife at home!

It's 11:00 p.m. and it's time
for husbands and wives.

Not time for some single slutty girl,
running after other people's husbands!

Jealousy makes you look ugly, dear.

Jude, you are pushing it.
Jude, you are really pushing it.

Lower your voice.
We have guests in the house.

Jude!

And Dan asked about the investment.

And now I have to get all that money back,

plus profits, so I can pay them back
by the end of this year.

I said I'm sorry.

At least act like you care about it.

I mean, who maxes out
a dollar credit card?

And to buy what? Peruvian, Brazilian,
Turkish human hair.

Enough to fill a whole store.

Hair that normal people
can't even afford to buy.

If you wanted to start a business,

why not start small?

Isn't that what normal people do?

I'm sure I've said I am sorry.

I don't know what else you want me to do.

Or should I kill myself?

So we can confirm that we are
not getting any joy tonight.

Right?

Go to bed, Joke.

But it's a holiday, for crying out loud.

[sighs] Lanre, it's like you
are punishing me with this...

I mean, six months straight?

I'm a woman with needs, you know?

Look, I am too worried about getting
back the money we owe

to worry about any needs or any joy.

Good night, Joke.

[growls]

As if people don't make mistakes.

[chuckling]

Is that what I think it is?

Trust me, that is
an involuntary action, okay?

That muscle is controlled
strictly by my subconscious.

You are kidding me. Look, at this rate,

I'm going to give you a hall pass
or agree to a threesome.

Fine, as long as she looks just like you.
Same exact specifications, okay?

[both laughing]

Promise me it's always
going to be like this.

I promise. Why do you ask?

It's the others. Like...

Their relationship is so cold
and lifeless.

Babe, they've got issues.

Everybody has issues.

Yeah, but, love should solve those issues.

Nina, you and I both know that love
is not the solution to every problem.

Hmm.

Hmm. So, I am thinking about, um...

Letting you stick your hand
in the cookie jar.

Oh! Please, please, pretty please.
And just so you know,

I don't do short distance races,
only marathons.

-I love marathons.
-[laughs]

[Cynthia] Hmm. That Linda Ikeji
is such an unmatchable gossip.

How did she find out Tiwa Savage
is pregnant again,

barely three hours after the poor girl
discovered that in the hospital?

Hmm. What?

She got eyes in every hospital.

That busybody is number one!

What?

I'm sure the father of the child doesn't
even know that yet,

and she made it sound like she doesn't
even know the paternity of the child.

She didn't say that, though.

-But she insinuated that!
-No.

You know that kind of thing
can start a bush fire.

See, Cynthia, what she said is that

her sources could confirm that Tiwa

cried as soon as she confirmed
that she was pregnant

and that she thinks, and I quote,

"Hopefully it is not her closeness
to the newest member of the Mavin team

"and the hottest kid on the block,
Femi Trace, that has her so upset."

What? Femi Trace?

What has Femi Trace got to do
with Tiwa's pregnancy now?

Come on, that is just so low.

It has everything to do with it.

If they leave me anywhere near that boy,
I will swallow him whole.

Ew.

-Grandma!
-What?

Joke, you do realize that you're
old enough to be his mother, right?

Nobody, and I mean nobody is
going to let you near that boy.

Please, I am only old enough
to be his cougar.

-Eh?
-Yeah.

They say I am still sweet enough
to be in secondary school.

Don't. Mmm-mmm. Don't deceive yourself.
Your mates are having grandchildren.

-[Cynthia] Tell her.
-Stay dead.

Hmm. Thank you.

Talking about having children...

Oh, Cynthia please.

Don't even start that lecture again.
Okay, do you know what, Nina is here too.

No, no, no, please, please.

I'm a newly married woman.
I'm still humping my life away.

-There you go!
-[groans]

-You know.
-You guys will get tired.

Why do you married women talk like this?
Spice things up.

Mmm, maybe we put curry and thyme
inside the place.

So what are you supposed to do when
the person is no longer interested?

-Mmm-hmm.
-Huh?

Look, Nina, it does get lame
down the road in marriage, you know.

Yeah, I'm sure it does.

I mean, marriage is tough.
It has its challenges, doesn't it?

And to think that you wake up
and see the same face

every single day.

You can say that again.

Jude used to be so charming.

He used to be so charming
while we were dating. And...

He always knew the right things to say.

[chuckles sadly]

Until I realized he had the same
effect on every other girl he meets.

Lanre, he's just so stubborn, you know?

He can't seem to understand
that despite this tough exterior,

I'm still a woman who wants
his love and attention.

He's always talking about his business
and his dreams.

I used to be his dream.

-Oohh! Mmm-mmm, mmm-mmm.
-I used to be his dream.

Guys, uh-uh, no, no.

We're not having a pity party.

Oh, by the way,
isn't this why they say...

[clears throat]

♪ Love is patient ♪

♪ Love is kind ♪

♪ It does not envy, does not boast ♪

♪ It is not proud, it is not rude ♪

♪ It is not self-seeking ♪

♪ And not easily angered ♪

♪ It keeps no record of wrong ♪

♪ Love, love ♪

♪ Love never fails ♪

♪ Oh no, love never fails ♪

♪ Oh, love, love ♪

♪ Love never fails ♪

-What?
-And the love bird has sung.

-Wow!
-[laughing]

You didn't wait for me to finish.

Don't mind her, darling.
You sound like an angel.

Thanks, babe. I love you.
I love you too. We'll just hug ourselves.

Oh, please.
Leave me alone. Please...

[Odewale singing]

[water spraying]

Or was that wretched man peeping on me?

[speaking in English]
Okay, no problem.

Yeah. Okay. Let's do, like,
a triangular movement thing.

Come, Lanre, what's wrong, man?

Why are you so unfit? We just started.

Man, it's been six months to a year
since I have done this.

Man, I've been on the hustle.

Guy, anything that keeps you busy so hard

that you don't have time
for your health is killing you, man.

Besides, I'm sure you are not
clocking up to five minutes in bed.

[laughing] I hear he is not clocking
any minutes at all.

Who said that?

Gimme!

[chattering indistinctly]

Hey, hey, and if you need a lady doctor,

it's okay, I can
hook you with that, too.

-What's wrong with you?
-[laughing]

-At least, let fit guys like us have fun.
-You know?

Where is Joke?

She's in the kitchen.
Is everything okay?

[men laughing]

What's going on?

You!

Me?

No. More like you!

You know what.

What have I done this time?

What happened?

Boys talk.

It's obviously not funny to someone,
this boy talk. What's going on?

I didn't say anything.

Joke, go and speak with your husband.

Go and get him ready.
We are taking you guys out.

Out? Where?

This is Ibadan. Nothing happens here.
Remember, I schooled here.

You think, huh?

Trust me, a lot has changed
since the last time you were here.

You will be pleasantly surprised.

-Mmm-hmm.
-Just go.

[mouthing]

Go and speak with him.
Confess.

-Woah.
-This is really impressive.

I know. I told you.

This place is lovely.

Agodi is, like, stepping up.
I am blown away, straight. Great stuff.

You are blown away by it or by me...

[Dan] By you.

What's your problem, by the way?

I thought we agreed to wait until Sunday.

You're the brilliant actress now.

I thought we had already agreed
I am a bad actor.

Well, if this is you acting,
then you make a piss poor actor!

I do.

Lanre...

What wrong have I done to you?

You should know.

In fact, did I even say you did anything?

Lanre, stop it.

Stop what?

Stop acting like a toddler
who has lost his milk teeth.

So, gentlemen, it appears we have
a beautiful lady over there

looking in this direction
and I think that it's for you, Jude.

Where?

One o'clock.

Okay! I think you got audience, Ju.

And why does it have to be me?

Oh, come on, Jude, we all know you are
the one with the woman troubles.

Lanre here has only ever loved one woman,

and I've not been much of a player,
until Nina, of course.

Bonehead.

Remember when we used to call Jude
one week, one girl trouble.

And how we thought Dan liked boys.

Thank God for Nina.

Thankfully, Nina can attest
to my longevity.

Idiot!

Man, it's a good thing
you didn't end up with that Augusta girl,

that would have been a disaster.

Man, that Augusta girl...

Why did you leave her again?

[stutters] I'm sorry, I couldn't.
I just couldn't.

Are you hiding something?

Hiding...

Okay, so we get to the point where
we are about to, you know, do it.

And then I find out that she...

[stammering] She has a tattoo.

Okay, so?

Down there.

You mean...

Like all around her...

Her what?

Here.

[laughs] Holy mother! What?

I mean, like I saw it, and I just lost it.

Wait, you mean she sat there,
like, for six hours,

and watched a guy

dipping and drawing what?
Your brother's face?

She had a dragon stitched all over.

That's like some
Enter the Dragon shit, man.

More like enter and your life ends.

-[chuckling] I swear.
-So what did you do?

What did I do?

Man, I just told her that I had some very
important business

that I had to attend to, and I took off.

You bailed?

I swear.

Yeah, you ran.

[laughing] Yeah, more like
I see that and I take to my heels.

Well, I would have done the same.

Wait, wait. Who are you now forming
this whole innocent guy to?

We know that your PA in the office
is trying to enter into your belt.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Eh, swear that you don't want to hit that.

You swear now, let this water
go swallow you.

Wait, wait, wait.

I do. I mean, she's a fine girl,
but I won't.

I won't. I can't afford to.

I mean, Cee... Cee really,
really threatened to leave me

next time I try that.

Brother, you are going to need
to get a dick guard

to be able to hold on to that promise.

You need a mouth guard.

[laughing]

Whoa! See the ladies.

[whistles]

Whoo!

[Dan] Lanre, come over.

[all laughing]

[indistinct conversations]

[yells]

On your marks. Get set. Go!

Come on, baby! Woo!

Oh, my word. Jude...

[indistinct chatter]

Don't come home.

Don't come home. Don't come home.

Hug your wife!

[all chanting] Hug your wife!
Hug your wife...

[all laughing]

[indistinct chatter]

[all screaming]

Whoa!

[screams]

[screaming]

[screaming]

[whooping]

[inaudible]

[indistinct chatter]

[Joke] I am so tired.

-Oh, my God. So much fun.
-[Nina] I know, right?

[Cynthia] I hope you guys
had fun, though.

I had so much fun. I'm not going
to forget this for a while.

-Great.
-Thanks guys.

Aw! Mwah!

[laughing]

[Cynthia] If you guys
aren't too tired, though,

we could go bowling at Ventura Mall.

Tired, what? Hell, no! The fun starts now.

[whooping]

Aw! Ninny, are you crying?

[chuckles] No, I'm not crying.

Jude, are you sleeping?

I am not sleeping.

Lie, I heard you snore.

I don't snore.

[scoffs] Another lie.

I told you we should have watched
Jupiter Ascending instead of all this

-mushy-mushy films.
-Hmm.

In other words,
you didn't enjoy the film, eh?

How would you enjoy it anyway
when you were sleeping?

Dan, what did you think?

Well...
Jupiter Ascending would have been better.

Please don't mind him, Ju.

He enjoyed the film.
I could feel his heart racing through it.

Please, please, please, you guys
should leave Jude and Dan alone.

Should be, husbands watch movies, eh?

Not like this, my old papa here,

who just stares at the TV like a zombie.

[speaking other language]

Okay, all right.

Well, now that you guys are done
with your film, can I leave?

Was anybody begging you?
Who was forcing you?

Leave me.

Good night.

Uh...

You guys, don't let my cranky old dude
spoil the fun, huh?

Goodnight, you guys!

-Goodnight!
-Goodnight.

You guys, whatever it is you started,
you need to fix this.

-Good night, Jude.
-Good night, dear.

You guys should sort this thing out.

It is spoiling the fun,
and I know that you are the ringleader.

What is this about? You just like
mentioning my name, all the time.

Lanre, this, your behavior, is becoming
very embarrassing,

and you are acting like a child.

Keep running your mouth.

You should be saying sorry, as usual.

And what is that supposed to mean?

You know I hate it when you throw
apologies in my face.

Then stop doing things you need
to apologize for.

How am I supposed to know
what to apologize for

if you won't tell me what I did wrong.

Check inside your mouth.

There's obviously
a leaking faucet in there.

[stammering]

What is all this nonsense?

Lanre, if you are not man enough

to look me in the eye and tell
me what I did wrong,

then to hell with you.

It's better if you just tell me
that you're looking for an excuse

not to sleep with me.

Look, if your thing is not working,

just tell me.

What?

What?

[gunshots]

What are you still doing up?

Oh, thank God. I need a drink.

[sighs]

Just thought to stay up and clear my head.

Clear your head?

What's in your head?

Didn't you get the memo that this weekend
is supposed to be work free?

You know work follows me everywhere I go.

Mmm-hmm.

To make matters worse, I have just been
assigned this workaholic PA

that hounds me with work.

Hmm...

I hear she hounds you
with more than just work.

You heard?

Oh! Cynthia.
She is just paranoid, I tell you.

There's absolutely nothing
between me and that girl.

And then reassure her.

She is pulling apart at the seams.

And you don't want to lose your wife
over a job.

It is not the job, Joke.

Cynthia is scared of growing old.

She thinks I am not attracted
to her anymore.

And are you?

I am... I think.

You think?

Come on, Joke, you know how marriage is.

Everything just seems duller.

Us, less beautiful.

[scoffs]

By 'us', I hope that you're referring to
yourself and Cynthia.

Oh, come on. Of course not you.

You know you've remained as beautiful

as the first time I saw you,
back in school.

Thank you. Well,
I do try to take care of myself.

Even if your friend Lanre
doesn't seem to notice.

But seriously, Joke,
I work really, really hard.

Especially being that my wife's only job
is being a dutiful housewife.

Come on, now!

People are different.

Okay, take me for instance.

I love my work, I love to get up early
and hit the road.

But Lanre, he doesn't even
get up until 9:00 a.m., and by then,

I have gotten a solid two hours
of work in. Everybody is different.

You know what they say, opposites attract.

I know, right?

It's almost like we end up falling in love
with the things we hate.

In my own case, I don't hate her.
I just...

It feels like such a heavy burden.

It gets awfully boring.

Honestly, I have more fun talking
to my PA at work.

That, your PA?

I am coming to scratch her eyeballs out.

Nobody takes my friend's man,
she better recognize!

Mmm...

Hmm?

I'm sure you would like to have a little
fun with her if you get the chance.

-Do you want me to be honest?
-No.

You can't be honest because anything
that you say right now

will be used against you in the court
of women's law.

Like that. [chuckles]

Do you...

Do you still love Cynthia?

I do, but, Cynthia and I are growing
distant by the day.

We hardly talk, and even when we do,

it's just one flimsy argument
after the other.

She just expects me to carry
her and her issue.

I try, Joke. I really, really try.

What issue?

Something I shouldn't be talking about.

Okay.

What you are telling me is,

to escape the pressure of it all,

you bury yourself in the arms
of your work wife.

What can I do?

[Joke] Hmm.

I guess we both need people to take
care of us right now.

There was a time in my life

when the last thing I wanted
was to have a child.

But now, I just...

I just want a baby so bad, you know?

But Lanre hasn't even touched me
since my last miscarriage.

It's almost like he's not attracted
to me anymore.

I suggested that we go
to a fertility clinic,

but he just got so angry and...

You know how he can be.

I really think he has a problem
down there,

but his just ego just won't let
him face it.

I'm so sorry.
This must be very hard on you.

[sobbing]

This must be very, very hard on you.

You are such a beautiful woman, Joke.

I'm sorry.

-Joke...
-[gasps]

I am so sorry.

[Joke] Oh, my God.
I am sorry, I am so sorry.

I don't... I don't know what came over me.

-I should be the one apologizing, Joke.
-I'm sorry. [sighs]

Oh! Jesus!

[speaking in other language]
My Eyes, my Eyes!

You wretched old man, peeping on me.

[speaking in English] So I cannot have my
privacy in this house anymore?

[both speaking other language]

It's not like that.

I can explain.

-I'm so sorry.
-"I'm so sorry." Work on it.

Oh, please don't ever try that
with me again, huh?

I cannot have my
privacy because of you.

Do you want to kill somebody?

Judy, please.

Orange and watermelon,
orange and watermelon.

I am so sorry.

Ow! Judy, please. It is too ripe.

[sighs]

-[exclaims]
-Hey, baby.

Baby.

Er, no! Uh-uh.

You're sweaty, but you can kiss me though.

See me thinking our love
was unconditional.

Always, baby.

Where is everybody? Oh! There you are.

[sighs]

We agreed that we were going
jogging this morning

I know you needed to find pants.

I just wasn't in the mood for any
jogging today.

Guy, what's the matter,
or are you impotent?

Man, that's not funny.

If it's... Why are you being so uptight?

Chill, okay?

[chuckles] I mean everybody says something
stupid at some point or the other,

plus its Joke, I am sure she
was just joking.

No big deal.

It's a joke to you guys now?

So, you are still about this thing?

Relax now. We are here to have fun,
not all this moodiness.

Don't behave like a woman.

Same thing Cynthia is in there doing.

Woke up this morning crying.

Whether or not I do anything wrong now,
I get into trouble.

Same thing with Joke, right here.

I should be the one angry,
but she is just lying there.

Joke is crying?

Wait, wait, wait, guys back up. Back up.

Let's take this one thing at a time.

Wait, Lanre, what's wrong?

You've been acting weird.

Look, there is nothing wrong.

Hmm.

But how can my wife be telling
her friends my thing isn't working?

I mean, that's just wrong.

Lanre, Lanre, you know who you married.

You know she is a loaded gun, right,

but yet you love her.

Just learn to handle whatever it is that
comes with the package.

How hard can that be?

Look, I can handle the package, okay?

I just don't want to.

Lanre, what is going on?

[Joke] Help me ask him.

Help me ask him.
[speaking other language]

Help me ask him!
Oh, Lanre, so that's it, huh?

Because you hate us, I said that
your thing is not working.

That's why you have been sulking
like a child

and throwing tantrums
all over the whole place.

Well, I guess we can all
safely assume that

a man who does not sleep with his wife
for six months

has lost the use of his thing.

We are all friends. We are friends, here.
It's confession time.

Tell them whether your thing is working.

Tell them whether it is working.

It is woman, woman now, happy?
It's now woman, it's no longer wife?

Well, Lanre, let me tell you, if you
cannot handle your matrimonial duties,

then you don't deserve to call me wife!

...has lost the use of his thing.

We are all friends. We are friends, here.
It's confession time.

Tell them whether your thing is working.

Tell them whether it is working.

It is woman, woman now, happy?
It's now woman, it's no longer wife?

Well, Lanre, let me tell you, if you
cannot handle your matrimonial duties,

then you don't deserve to call me wife!

[sobs] I can't take this anymore!
I can't take it anymore.

What's going on?

[Joke sobbing]

Wow!

You two didn't have enough of yourselves
last night, huh?

You decided to come and show
us some more? Right?

[Nina] Cynthia,
what are you talking about?

Will you get your filthy hands
off my husband this minute!

-[Nina] Cynthia!
-[Cynthia] What?

I saw this filthy rag with my husband
last night!

You saw what?

Er, Cee, it is not what you think.

It is not what?

You think I didn't see you last night?

I saw you last night.

-What do you have to say?
-It was a mistake. It's...

Shut up! Shut up.

Now, how does that feel like a mistake?

Take it easy.

[Nina] Cynthia, Cynthia...

And you...

You've gone to add infidelity
to all your sins,

after all I did to just protect you?

[Joke] Lanre.

-Lanre... Lanre--
-Quiet.

You have been telling all our friends
our bedroom secrets, have you?

Okay! Since its confession time,
let the real truth come out now.

Guys...

After her last miscarriage,

she left the country, as usual.

The doctor advised me
to take a break from trying to have kids.

That just didn't sound right to me.

To help her healing process.

[scoffs]

So I pressed him.

That is how I found out

that this woman has had
eight abortions in the past.

Eight!

When? Where?

Why didn't you tell me?

No?

I was shocked, I was angry.

And I hated her.

I hated you, Joke!

And I hate you,
I hate you even more because...

I knew I wouldn't leave you,

even after all the stuff
I found out about you.

Lanre, Lanre, please.

Leave me alone.

I'm done.

I am done, Joke. I am done carrying you.

Jude,
if you want her, she's all yours.

-Lanre, please.
-Leave me alone.

[sobbing]

Jude...

You promised me that this was never,

ever going to happen again.

But you broke your promise to me.

-Cynthia.
-Wait. Just wait.

Jude, I'm done.

This is it.

Please...

-Don't you dare touch me!
-Cynthia, Cynthia, Cynthia!

No!

[sobbing]

Lanre, you can't do this. Come on.

-You can't... You shouldn't.
-Dan, cut the crap.

If Jude slept with Nina,
you'd be fine with it, right?

Answer me!

I won't. Okay, I won't.

But I don't think he slept with her.

Matter of fact, I don't think they got
that far.

I think you should ask him, bro.

You know what,
if I have to see him face to face

and ask him myself, I will kill him,
I swear.

Lanre, chill man, chill.

I am done.

I have loved this girl all my life,

and I have never been with anybody else
and she has.

I accepted her just the way she is,

and all she does is betray me.

I'd be a fool to stick to this.

Listen, Lanre,
I can't speak for her, okay?

I can't, but why don't you
allow her to speak for herself?

At least you owe her that much.

[Cynthia] Get out!

[Nina] You have to let
this thing go, Cee...

Look, I know it will take time,

but you have to believe that you can
forgive him.

You don't understand, Nina!

It's more than this.

What are you talking about?

I am sick.

What? Sick? How?

In the head.

I have bipolar...

I have bipolar disorder.

What?

It started...

It started after I gave birth to Kiki.

I had a nervous breakdown.

After I found out about the other woman.

Since then,

I suffered severe bouts of fear,

which made me so depressed...

And other times, manic.

I skipped my drugs three years ago.

I had a manic attack.

We were on vacation...

And I chased everyone around
with a kitchen knife.

Judith was there.

She was so horrified,

and Jude had to forcefully sedate me.

Jude...
Jude has been so supportive. [sniffles]

He has been there, Nin,
but I think he's tired of it all.

He wants to leave me.

The kids, the kids no longer stay
with us because of this.

That is why they are with our parents
most times.

Look, why didn't you talk to us about it?

I can't.

You know my parents,

they're public figures and we don't need
such bad publicity.

[sniffles] They don't.

I'm taking a risk telling you this.

But I'm tired, Nin. I'm tired!

Look, your secret is safe with me.

I won't tell anybody, I promise.
I won't even tell Dan.

Thank you.

But Cee,

forgiving Jude is still the way to go.

Look, he loves you. Look, I know he has--

I can't!

I can't!

I can't let him stay with me
out of pity, Nina.

[sniffles]

If he wants to leave, I shouldn't
stop him--

Has he said he wants to go?

No, no, but...

I think he wants to get away.

He wants to get away from me, he's tired.

Cynthia, that's the fear talking.

You have to fight,

you have to beat this thing!

Look, I don't know how that's going
to happen

but you have to fight!

You have to do something, Cynthia!

[sobbing]

You might be right.

But how long do I have to
carry on like this? How long?

Cynthia...

No.

One way or the other we have to learn
about true forgiveness.

That is the only way any marriage
will survive its storms.

You've not eaten today, you know?

Are you trying to be skinny?

Let me get you some food, okay?

I'll be right back.

[speaking other language]
Judy, come.

What is happening again?

Okay, I will tell you.
The house is boiling.

Madam Cynthia has started again.

-If you see how she slapped boss Jude?
-[gasps]

The slap sounded like thunder.

She slapped my boss?
Eh, what did the boss now do?

What would he do? He just held his face.

Oh, he held his face...

My wife slaps me
and I'll hold my face?

I will slap her back.

A gentleman does not beat a woman.

Please, please, just hold it there!
What do you mean by that?

In that case, I'm no gentleman.

It's not my wish to be a gentleman!

I don't mean by this.

In fact, I will not only slap her,

I will box her, I will kick her,
I will--

So...

If I slap you now, eh,

and I give you orange and watermelon,

you will still slap me?

You mean yourself?

In that case, it will be so different.

In fact, in that situation, you can
give me up to three to five slaps,

it is still okay because I cannot
say it's not worth it...

[speaking other language]
You are a thief

and a covetous man!

Judy, Judy, hold on!

Nina, I really don't see why you called
for this meeting.

Jude,

do you think the fact
that you guys did not

do anything will make
me feel any better?

Huh?

You vowed...

You vowed that this will never
happen again, Jude,

but you broke it.

And you...

You call yourself my friend?

Cynthia, please...

Are you okay?

I know you cheated and you have a son.

What?

You hurt me, Dan.

[sniffles]

I found out just after we got married.

[Nina sobs softly]

And when I found out I...

I wanted to commit suicide.

When the person you love keeps a secret
away from you, you...

Breathlessness doesn't even
describe the feeling.

I started to question everything.

I didn't know what was real or what
wasn't real anymore.

I started to question myself.

I started to question God.

Tell me, what could I have done?

Then I realized that the only reason
why you would keep a secret

like this away from me
is because you love me.

Through you, I have learned
the true meaning of forgiveness.

[sniffles]

[sobs]

I have had to forgive you,
even without you asking for it.

And guys, that is the meaning
of true love.

I cannot live without you,
so I fought for you.

I fought to forgive you.

And that doesn't mean it's not hard.

At times the pain comes back.
I get on my knees and I pray.

And ask God to help me.

Because I cannot lose you.

Talking to you earlier today, Cee, I...

I realized I was healed of the pain.

I actually did it. I forgave!

Baby, look at me! Look at me! No!

Look at me.

I love you and I forgive you.

And you can bring him home.

And I will love him

and I will care for him like I do you.

Nina, I am so sorry.

-It is all right.
-I am so sorry.

It's fine. It's fine. It's fine.

I am so sorry.

[sobbing]

[Joke sobbing] I couldn't bring myself
to tell you

every detail about my past.

Lanre, please forgive me, I'm sorry.

Please.

Please.

[sobbing]

[sobbing]

[Cynthia] Ju,

I know I should forgive you and move on,

but honestly, I can't.

My heart can't bear this pain anymore.

I keep living in the fear of not knowing
if I am enough for you.

I can't keep wondering if you would
rather love someone else.

I'm losing my mind and I can't
let you carry me anymore.

I have to leave, Ju.

Please take care of the kids.

And let them know I love them
and always will.

But I have to go.

We may meet some day,
who knows?

Ju, even now, I love you more
than life itself.

You are the only one I have ever loved,

and you will always be the only one.

But I must go.

I love you forever, Ju.

Your Cee.

[horn honking]

[engine roaring]

[brakes screeching]

[crashes]