Coup de torchon (1981) - full transcript

COUP DE TORCHON

FRENCH WEST AFRICA
July 1938

I thought it was judgment day!

Get out of bed, lug.
Vanderbruck's coming.

I feel I didn't get
my night's worth.

- Just what do you want?
- They say a husband's got certain... rights.

Worry about Vanderbruck.

Mr. Vanderbruck!
Always first, eh?

The roof still needs fixing.
Go fetch the carpenter.

But it's not the police's job.

These privies belong
to the Forestry Co.



They're your private property,
in a manner of speaking.

The whole town enjoys them.

The whole town, except me.

It's the first thing
that greets me every morning.

- Can't you move them?
- I can't.

- Why not?
- Because they're there.

Well, that's a fact.

No... not here.

- Not there either...
- Not here nor there.

Well, where then?

Nowhere.

You think you and me are gonna...

After what you've just done?

What have I done?



You said: Vanderbruck's a
public menace.

His latrines are a health hazard,

the law should take action and
since I'm the law, those rotten shit holes

will be gone in a week.
- That's what I said.

Sure...

You chickened out.

He pissed all over you!

Listen, to ass lickers like you

I will serve the soup,
but don't expect...

I'm not sure I agree with you.

Maybe you're right,
but maybe you're wrong.

Anyway, even if I'm what you say,
I'm not the only one. So there!

Mama!

Your kid brother's up.

I'm coming, Nono dear.

Funny, him calling
his sister Mama.

- What's my Nono want?
- There's a beast under my bed!

That's no reason to call me Mama.

And it doesn't flatter you,
sweetness,

being called Nono's mother:

Gives folks a wrong
idea of your age.

Whatta ya know... no more duck.

He had a bad scare.
The poor thing.

I noticed.

You know what the beast was?

Yeah, a poisonous moth.

Hey, that's my shirt he's got on,
and it's in shreds.

In shreds?

And his eye's scratched too.
Must have been that poisonous moth, huh?

- Don't kill me, Lucien.
- Kill you?

I'm speaking French, no? 'Kill me',
Understand that?

What's he trying to say?

It's about your job, putting folks
in the cooler, you know.

If it wasn't you,
I'd bet my right arm

some lady ripped my shirt, no?

There you go killing me.

That looks great.

It could use some rum.

Rum! Rum! Quick!

Bottle of rum.
Rice pudding wants rum, always!

Aren't you late for work?

I'm looking for my hat.

It's on your head, jerk!

Mama, come and try
the pudding with rum.

It's yummy, but don't say Mama.

- We'll have some.
- I hope so.

Is it true you had a girl last night?

- There's salt in the coffee!
- Cut the crap!

I tell you there's salt
in the coffee!

What a surprise.
I'm glad to see you.

Well, we're not. Being
with trash like you looks bad.

The brothel's feasting
the new colonel...

Got any prisoners
who can wait tables?

You know I never arrest anyone
unless I have to.

I have enough troubles
of my own.

What good is an empty prison?

- He's dumber than we thought.
- That's true.

Morning, Mr Cordier.
Coffee's ready.

And that's not a prisoner?

That one's mine!

- You didn't mention him.
- Because he's mine.

We'll borrow him 'til tomorrow, old chap.

- But he's old and stone deaf.
- Can he make coffee?

He poisoned his wife.

But can he make coffee?

Not very well, no.

It's not bad at all.

Superb! Bring him over tomorrow.

- What's your name?
- F?te-Nat.

So you were born
on Bastille Day, like me.

You've got a good life here in
Bourkassa. Better than in France.

You may be right there.
I can't complain.

I've got free housing,
the wireless, bath, electricity.

At times, not always, I think
I've found paradise on earth.

But you're still a zero!

- Shit, he fell.
- He went plop!

That's not very nice.

It was an accident.

You didn't break anything.

We were kidding.

Yeah, just kidding.

Then that's different.

Ooh, he slipped.

Say, "F?te-Nat" isn't
a saint's name, is it?

No, it's the 14th of July!

- I don't get it.
- You're a jerk too.

- But it's true.
- "National holiday"!

Oh, "F?te-Nationale"!

Your hand's shaking, F?te-Nat.

We're both shaking.

Y'know, I couldn't sleep
last night.

I lay in bed, eyes wide open,
tossing and turning

'til I thought I'd go crazy.

Then, suddenly, I got fed up
and said to myself:

"You're going to go bananas."

So I thought and thought...

'til my head ached
from thinking so hard...

and I came to the conclusion

that I just didn't know
what the fuck to do.

You forgot my birthday!

Let me go.

You're hurting me!
Let me go!

- You don't love me.
- No, I don't love you.

- Hear that?
- I don't hear a thing.

It's that brute Marcaillou,
beating his wife again.

Some day he'll kill her.

I must have water in my ears.

Now I can hear.

He's giving the poor kid
a bad time.

- You won't stop him?
- Sure, I'm going.

How much?

- Can't find it.
- Next time.

I hate debts. Here.

- Thank you. Seems to be over.
- Yes, it would seem so.

Rosette. Where'd the dirty pig go?
He's split, uhm?

That way.

I'm too late.
I came running when I heard.

Look, he broke my bag, the pig.

What a filthy mess.

There, there, my Rosette,
my Rosalie.

Put your hand
between my legs...

In the street?

At least they know someone loves me.

It's all over now,
my Rosette.

He hurt me.

It's all over now.
Think about me.

Get down!

Missed! It's your fault.

What are you hunting?

Nothing, jerk.
We're shooting stiffs.

Doesn't bother them and
it's fun for us.

When dysentery's cured,
we'll find a new sport.

This one's yours, Le P?ron.

Look, I blew his head off.

You may not be aware of it,
but you're breaking the law

and mocking the dead.

But they're niggers,
thrown in like dead dogs.

No, they've been entrusted
to the river.

It's a ceremony, sort of a burial...
...words can't explain...

You're desecrating their graves.

So how much would the fine be for... that?

I'd like to know the value
of a stiff

who used to earn a franc a day.

Let's say a hundred,
but I'll close my eyes for fifty.

Fifty? What do you say?

OK, but on one condition...

- You can take a shot.
- I can't in my position.

- Just one round.
- No!

That body's blocked by a log.

You miss on purpose?

At least he tried.

You can always be bribed.

I've got no choice.
First, I'm underpaid...

second, my wife takes
all my money...

and third, fining you
is practically a civic duty.

No, Le P?ron.

Where'd you learn to play pool?

How's your stick in bed?

Lucien! What's new?
I hope you can cheer us up.

Paulo, this is Lucien Cordier,
Police Chief of Bourkassa...

and this gawk is Paulo
who just arrived in this hole.

A drink?

Things booming?

Booming, maybe... but...

Bourkassa's not a big city
like here.

- How big is it?
- There's a signpost marked Pop. 1275.

Pop?

That means 1275 souls.

And as many people as souls?

Obviously.

I think you're wrong
to say 1275 souls...

It means 1275 inhabitants,
right, Paulo?

You bet, Marcel.

Tell him why, bright eye.

You're more convincing.

Your 1275 souls, that includes
niggers. But they've got no soul.

- Right?
- You bet.

Maybe you're right,
but maybe you're wrong.

How come blacks have got no soul?

Make him see the light.

They don't have soul 'cause
they're not really people.

Well, what are they then?

Just niggers, that's all.

The proof is we call them
niggers, not people.

Now wait a sec. How about this?

A white baby loses his mama,
who's also white...

It happens?
- It happens.

And there's nobody to feed him
but a black woman. She saves him, right?

- Yeah, so?
- Well, that proves

...Nothing
He could suckle a cow,

does that prove that cows are people?

I've slept with black women,
never with cows.

You could've.

But that doesn't prove
that cows are people.

Put that in your pipe!

You're great at logic, Marcel!

But you didn't come here
for my logic.

Oh, no! I've got headaches.

My head's all twisted.

I've lost my appetite.

So I thought and thought...

and I came to the conclusion

that I didn't know what to do.

Go on!

Out of the way, hag!

What? Shoes!

Did you hear? Those two pimps
are giving him hell.

And always in public.
It's bad for my reputation.

But you don't stand for it.

No, I give it right back.

I don't muzzle 'em,
but I bait 'em good.

He baits 'em.
You ever hear that before?

First time in my fuckin' life.

You did good to come and see me.

I'm gonna tell you -
no, show you - what to do.

Turn around.

I'm gonna illustrate my lesson.

Come back! Come back!

Sit down.
I wanna ask you something.

- I'd rather stand.
- OK.

If a guy kicks you in the ass,
what do you do?

I kick him back -
that way, we're even.

Turn around again.
You didn't follow.

- Just tell me.
- Who's in charge?

Turn around.

Did you understand this time?

You gotta give it back
twice as bad.

But the pimps never kicked my ass.

It's the principle.
Right, Paulo?

You bet. If a guy bugs you,
you bug him twice as bad.

Otherwise, it becomes a
status quo.

Next time your two pimps
start up...

kick 'em as hard as you can
in the balls.

But that'll hurt a lot!

You gotta have good shoes...

with no holes in the toes.

If it were up to me,
I'd rub 'em out. Pronto.

One, two... in the teeth!

I wouldn't miss the opportunity.

Damn straight!
Out of my sight!

Tell Marcel he's put me at ease.

Let us help you, Miss.

Now that he's told me
what to do...

thanks to him, I'm covered.

- Covered? How's that?
- Sure.

Cordier, what do you mean?

- Tell him, he'll understand.
- Cordier...

Bye... glad to have met you.

- May I show you how to peel it?
- That would be great.

So, wandering all alone
about Africa for fun?

Fun? I don't know yet. I'm the
new schoolteacher of Bourkassa.

That's a fine profession,
a vocation, I'd say.

Thanks to you,
black children will be able

to read their daddy's name
on French war memorials.

Did I offend you?

Not really.

Around here you've got
to joke a little

or you'll wind up
shooting yourself.

Is it good?

Delicious.

The exact time, please.

Six P.M.

Six P.M. We're entering
the virgin forest.

Six P.M. We're entering
the virgin forest.

Do you always carry a gun?

I have to, I'm the police
chief of Bourkassa.

- It frightens you?
- No.

I've never used it.

Careful, they're heavy.

Books... maybe I brought too many.

There's so much time to read,
you end up not reading at all.

Here's your school,
and your house across the street.

I'll lend it to you.

And I'll take it.
That way I'll see you again.

It's by an aviator.

In that case...
Let me help you.

You've got no business around here.

Doing nothing is my job.
I'm paid for it.

So go piss about somewhere else.

You're going a bit far!

What's with you?

Hands up.

Well, if it pleases you.

What would please me, is for you
to sing me a song.

You must be kidding.

"Caterinetta Bella" for instance.
You like that one?

Sure we like it.

But that's no reason
to take your gun out.

Go on.

When a gun is pointed at me,
I sing out of key.

I'll count to three.

One...

Two...

You're just 16
and you should see...

How you trouble all the men...

I would have expected better.

You're spoiling my fun.

When does the joke end?

We can do better.

Is it your eyes so soft
that flips their wig...

Or your tits so big
that makes them daft...

Oh, bella Caterinetta...

Listen, love
is calling you...

Why say no, not now...

Get up, Lucien.
What is it?

Go answer the door.

Get a move on.
They'll wake Nono.

- And if it's a thief?
- You're the law, moron!

True...

He's playing dumb.
Put your pants on.

By the way, dear,
did you by chance find

some bank notes that might've
slipped out of my pocket?

Look... with this war
brewing out there...

You can't reproach me
for buying provisions.

Don't get annoyed, my sweet.

I'm not annoyed.

Did you or did you not do it?

Me? What have I done?

Answer me, for chrissake!

You're acting like
I killed someone.

Then you didn't do it?

What? Kill someone?
What an idea!

You scared me.

One shot kills thirst;
two, worms; three, death.

Paulo scared the shit outta me.

He said your killing those pimps
would put me in a bind.

You couldn't even hurt a fly.

But you believed it.

I thought "Stupid as he is,
he might take me seriously."

You've never misguided me.

You might have thought it a good idea
when it was simply a joke.

I can tell the difference.

I came out here to save you.
Can I bunk here?

I hate to say no,
but there's no room.

Is the hotel far?

It's closed on account
of the epidemic.

So, where?

Well, you could...

No, you wouldn't sleep.

Just try me.

Not at a brothel...

Especially with girls
of top grade...

French, little girls.

What's little for you?

One of them is not 14 yet.

- Christ... and the law?
- No complaints, yet...

and in a country where black girls fuck at 12

- Yeah, white girls can't be left out.
- You bet.

Is it far?

- Well, there are those damn pimps
- You leave 'em to me.

They're probably off
getting smashed.

- You sure?
- Yeah, they'll be out all night.

But they still scare the girls.

You might not get in.

I beg your pardon there. Old Marcel
Chevasson wasn't born yesterday.

I'll tell 'em I've seen
to their two shits...

and that they won't
hurt a fly now.

You're just too much, Marcel...
I couldn't have done better myself.

All alone in my empty room...

In my mouth,
a taste of gloom...

In my heart I hear
awful cries...

And there's darkness all around me

The door just closed...

Behind him now
he's shut away...

Our kisses and love vows...

Try this.

A "tricolore".
Coffee, cognac, rum and calvados.

You must have given those ladies
quite a memory.

I did my best.

It's not every day they get
a real man in their bed.

And it didn't cost a cent.

Weren't they worried about the pimps?

They bought my yarn.

Tell me again what you said, Marcel.

"I put your pimps
in their place..."

"You won't see 'em around too soon."

That's it to the letter...

They'll stay away after your lesson,
right Marcel?

What did he do?

He won't say it out of modesty.

But he's told it 20 times over.

I just can't get enough.

And get it
through your head, Fred,

there's only one way
to deal with scum like that.

Yeah, but you've got
more guts than me.

Going to the whorehouse
all by yourself.

I've only got myself, dimwit!

That's true.

Speaking of pimps...
Isn't your brother-in-law...

A pimp? Nono?
He's too stupid even for that.

No woman'd look at him,
except Huguette.

Of course, she's his sister.

I don't see a resemblance.

You'd never guess
they're brother and sis.

That did surprise me at first.

You may be in for another
surprise some day, poor Lucien!

Another round on Cordier!

As Foch says:
When you're a lion...

you can't be a clam.

I've had worse than your pimps.

And where do you think
they are now?

In jail?

Some day you'll learn a coffin
costs the state less

than a man in a cell, old chum.

Say, Bartali beat Verwaeck
at Brian?on by 17 minutes.

Natch. He pledged his bike
to the Virgin Mary.

Bartali?

If you need a hand with
your pimps, call me.

...if they come back.
- Why shouldn't they?

- Could be dead.
- Why dead?

Could've been killed.
And you're a suspect.

- You crazy?
- Why, you advertised it.

I never said I killed them.
I said I gave 'em a lesson.

A black eye is a lesson.

A bullet in the head's a lesson too.

I've never even seen 'em.

Of course, they couldn't be there.

You're not telling me
you've killed them?

Look at me!
How can you think that?

But you,
after all your bragging around...

If the bodies
ever popped up

I wouldn't want to be
in your shoes.

You heard right, Marcel.

All you can do now is pray...

Pray that if they were really killed,
they'll never find the bodies.

You speak and folks believe you.
That's some gift!

Put that in your pipe!

- How many today?
- Five.

- Dysentery?
- Obviously.

- All blacks?
- No, one white.

Oh yes, one white. That's life.

Are you dumping him in the river?

Are you crazy? It's the
graveyard for the white one!

Does it hurt?

Look at me.
Am I hurting you?

She's got something in her eye.

Open your eye...

Much work?

Dirty work.

Sometimes, I just want to drop
everything. But I can't...

I never will.

That'll do it.

There, all better now.
Give us a kiss.

And me?

What are you waiting for?
Do your job.

Stop it! Marcaillou!
Goddammit!

- He won't sell me peanuts.
- He won't pay what's fair.

- So what?
- Now you've knocked him out.

You gonna arrest me
for clubbin' a nigger?

No, not exactly...

The main thing is the board.

- The board?
- Yeah, covering that hole there...

What if somebody fell in and broke
his leg? It'd be your fault.

- So?
- So, being as nobody did,

I'll let you off this time.

You never arrest anybody.

You've got to show folks
you're brave, honest,

and hard-working.
Here, hold this.

I can't.

Why not?

First, because I'm not brave,
honest and hard-working.

And second, I don't think
my chiefs want me to be.

What are you talking about?

Well, they wouldn't have
picked me otherwise.

- That's how I see it.
- Sophism.

And no reason to let
Marcaillou get away.

The trouble is he's Rose's husband.

We're good friends, Rose and me,
that's all.

But if I arrest him,
folks'll jump to conclusions.

Let them. Do your duty.

Get rid of the trash
that poisons us all!

And who's gonna get rid of
the shit that poisons my house?

All in good time, each thing
in turn and one after the other.

For the general good,
Marcaillou first.

Then we'll get to your
particular problem.

If you say so.

May God grant you
the courage you lack.

That trash, they won't
get me like that.

There, boy, go and get it!

What brings you around here,
you turd?

Hands off my gun.
- You won't need it anymore.

- I've got a hunting license.
- You won't need that neither.

I'm hanging around here to see your wife.

And she's gonna give me
what you never got.

Don't move!

Africans hate a boring death...

...in a hospital say, with doctors,
nurses and priests...

You, you won't have a boring death.

I know kicking a dying man
isn't very nice.

But first, I wanted to
and second, there's no risk involved.

You know,
this hurts me more than you.

No luck, damn it.
His dog has just come back.

- We've got a minute, right?
- You know I want you.

I'm not so sure... if you really
wanted to... it's a minute...

- You know very well it wouldn't.
- I'd love to take you in my lap.

- Stop it please, don't say such things...
- I'd love to lift your dress,

and you could just take it off
and let me see the nice things it hides.

You could slide it over
your shoulders, then...

Oh, hell, let's go.

Why are you taking the dress off?
Just sit in my lap. I must tell you...

Tell me later... quick, come here my love.

I have a feeling I'd better
tell you beforehand.

Come here now. I want you.

It's about Marcaillou.
Something's happened to him.

Who cares! Pity he hasn't
dropped dead yet.

That's exactly it. I have a feeling
his insides got blown up.

- Really?
- He tripped over his gun.

Is he really dead?

If he isn't, he's the first guy
to get kicked in the balls and not budge.

Shit, I can't believe it! Pity
I didn't see the pig croak.

I'd have enjoyed ramming
a poker up his ass.

Come now, Rose,
a little respect, he's dead now...

You really shouldn't curse.
It's ugly, ugly and impolite.

That's not my fault Lucien.
He taught me that.

I was well behaved until
I met the fucker, son of a...

How come you're still
wearing your slip?

I'd rather you take it off.

Yes, caress me...

I'm coming...

Must be the good news.

The soup smells good.

It's just bean soup,
but homegrown.

His brother back home sends us
a few bags now and then.

- And the bowl's as big as a tureen.
- That was his bowl.

No way. I'll eat his soup,
but not in his bowl.

It's strange how you don't get some things...
It'd ruin my appetite.

You can sleep in his bed, but not
eat from his bowl?

It's not the same. There's only one bed.
So I have to!

But there're other bowls.
It's more proper.

My soup...

Even dead, he pisses me off!

That's a weird dog.

I've never noticed before
he's got a stripe in the middle.

Marcaillou did that.
So we'd each pat one half.

Sounds like poor Marcaillou.

Listen, don't leave me here
all alone tonight. I'll be scared.

It's my first night alone.

There are 3 sorts of French.

Real French, shitty French
and French shit.

You're not even French shit.

That's me on our wedding day.

I didn't want to rot with him.

Drop me before the village.

Wait, Father.

Do help me, yes.

Termites. They've already
eaten up two crosses.

Good thing the Christ's
cast iron, eh?

That should hold it, thank you.

Rose is here. Be nice.
She's anxious about her husband.

Is he sick?

- Worse, maybe.
- Let's go, then.

What's wrong, my dear?

I'm worried something's happened.
He left early with his dog to go hunting.

With his dog?

The dog... yes.

- The dog has come back alone.
- Did you hear? His dog.

- Yeah, I heard, his dog.
- His dog Medore.

Yeah, Medore, the one with the stripe
down the middle.

All alone.

Maybe he got a beating, no?
It doesn't prove a thing.

- Maybe he had an accident.
- Oh, don't say 'accident'.

Who's talking about accidents...

I say it's more likely Medore had an
accident after his master came home.

It's not that difficult
what she's asking!

In the early hours of the morning
in Mexico a man is going to be executed.

We're not savages. We won't shoot anybody
sitting on a Galerie Barbe's chair.

Ah, here you are! I pay you to
prevent gate-crashing.

Why should somebody do that?

Your workers they all get tickets.
Isn't that how you pay them?

Gotta be a stonic to take
that smell.

What's that mean, "stonic"?

Ya mean ya don't know
what it means?

Doesn't it bother
your wife there...

watching the film backwards?

If it's free, even
your shit houses don't bother her.

Good evening Miss. It's a good film tonight.
"Mediterranean Alert".

It's only so they can see the sea.

- No, this is on me, let's go.
- Thank you.

Put it on my tab.

Go ahead, kiddies.

Isn't that Cordier?

Yes, with the schoolteacher.

He could use some learning.

See that outfit?
It's just right for Lucien.

That dress!
With your eyes...

You're so nice to me.

I just love sailors.

Will they show the Riviera?

What's the Riviera?

Shut up girls! The plot's thickening!

- What is it?
- The C?te d'Azur

I thought it was judgment day.

It'd be worse than that.

You should turn in.

I'd miss my chance.

What chance?

The chance of something that has never
happened before.

During the film I had a funny dream...

It's a recurring dream,
about my dad beating me.

I show him my prize
for good reading in school:

A beautiful hard-cover book.
And he throws it in my face.

Because in the dream, I'm a little kid.

But then again this isn't a dream.
I am just a little kid.

A vile little monster who killed
his mother at birth.

Do you still resent your father?

Not any more.

He's one of those people who believes
there's only one answer to every problem

one of those who blames everything
on Jews and Freemasons.

Not seeing you're not going
to find one reason but a thousand,

to why things went wrong,
if they really did go wrong...

I'm cold.

It's warm out.

It's not the weather.

A helluva time for repairs.

But I'm not doing repairs.

- Want help?
- I'm nearly done.

It's for Vanderbruck.

You may be in for a real treat
in the morning.

Do you hate Vanderbruck?

- I don't hate anybody.
- I do.

He's here 2 years
and already rich.

I can't dirty up these mules.

Huguette'd be sore.

Wake up.

No, no...

Vanderbruck's coming.

Always a pain in the butt,
that one...

Quick. This is gonna be fun.

Not up yet, Cordier?

Hurry up... quick!

I was working late last night.

Don't make a habit... Shit!

Take a look! Fast!

Didn't even say 'good morning'

I don't believe it!

Thanks a lot, Cordier.

Get these shit holes out
of my sight!

Forever!

They must vanish.
Just as if they'd never existed.

Sure thing. Go on...

I don't dare.

Excuse me, Mr. Vanderbruck.

That's not funny.

Shit, my hat.

Kiss me, Huguette.
This calls for a celebration!

Whoever dares say I sawed the
boards so a man'd fall in...

and maybe get killed...

- Quit acting like an idiot, Nono-

...would be ruining my career...

accusing me of a serious offense
and a one contrary to my nature.

Everybody knows.
I'm not one to take risks.

That's for sure... sissy.
You're a prize asshole.

Cut it out, blockhead!

You resent Nono
because he's a real man.

There, Nono, my little he-man.
Lucky I have you.

Don't ever say that, Huguette.

Why not, if it's true?

What's got into you, Lucien?

Oh, Rose, you should've seen
the look in his eyes.

Like a killer's.

Me? Killer's eyes?

Eyes don't harm.

Hands do.

Kiss and make up.

Well, kiss him.

Come on.

You know, Rose, I've been
thinking... But then again...

maybe it's not a good idea-
that you get a gun...

- To shoot with?
- Not to shoot with, Nono.

Just to keep her man off...

if he comes at her
with bad intentions.

- It is a good idea!
- Not really.

I can't see Rose,
so sweet and frail,

with a big gun
in her little, shaky hand.

And especially 'cause I might
unintentionally kill him.

You see.

- Let's get you a gun.
- Really?

Sure. Come on.

That's a good one.

A pastor's wife shot
her husband with it?

Oh yes!

Have anything bigger?
Something very, very frightening.

A club?

- No, very frightening.
- Really, very, very frightening.

A gas mask.

Hold it.

Good.

- I'll never use it.
- You never know.

You've got an idea in your head.

Not at all, I swear. You know,
I do things and I don't know why.

Later, I understand.
But I never plan ahead.

You're weird sometimes.

You're not scared someday I might
shoot you if you leave?

First learn to shoot,

then I'll be scared.
Go on.

Morning. Did we wake you?

You see what I see?

- See you later.
- Are you following him?

Not him. The ladder.

Scram!

Never a dull moment when he's around!

Are you crazy!

What a sick idiot!

- Let me by.
- This isn't the first time! Should be locked up!

After such a beating, he won't offend again!

You'll be sorry if you touch me.

Play along.
I'm just pretending.

It's better than being
locked up, no?

- O.K. But go easy.
- Sure.

- Not the head.
- Of course.

Take that!

Pig! That'll teach you to peep.

Easy. He still has to bring
home his ladder!

Not the head, eh?

I can't read the aviator's book.

It's annoying me. Perhaps it's
too well written.

You like sounding illiterate.

You're not... So why?

Habit.

Grammar gets rusty
like everything else

if you don't use it. And there isn't
a strong demand for it in Africa.

Just like for
Good and Evil...

What's Good? What's Evil?
Nobody knows.

It's not much use here.
So that gets rusty, too.

Must be the climate.

Do you think it will happen
to me too?

You will never be like others.

It's not that you're prettier
than Rose...

She's my girl, Rose.

No, not prettier, but with you
the difference comes from inside.

Something that grabs you by
the heart like a vice

and doesn't let go.

When I look at you...

I'm ill at ease.

But I can't keep away.

Do you understand that?

Even if we kiss,
it won't make it simpler.

- Bye. Careful with the pistol.
- Don't worry.

Stop it, Nono!

- And if I pretend too?
- It was that or jail.

Leave Nono alone.
Rose is waiting for you.

Kissing the bitch makes me sick.

I promise I'll try to watch it.

Listen.

- What is it, sweet?
- Why, nothing.

I figured as much.

I'm a bit tired...
not enough sleep.

- The schoolteacher's cute.
- You know her?

Not really but I saw her on the
movie screen in silhouette.

You both looked fine
in silhouette.

You were swell, together.

Don't be silly.
She's not that kind.

She's too good for you?

While you're the best I can get?
- Listen...

Having you is an honor...A man
who's killed my husband for love.

No, I was just
getting rid of trash.

The trash also happened to be your husband,
so I killed two birds with one stone.

There's a lot of trash around.

There'll be less and less...
Had to start somewhere.

Well, I want to believe you killed
him on account of me.

Let me go on believing it. Who are you
to tell me what to believe or not believe?

- You're taking your time.
- I'm coming.

I don't believe it. They're all
conspiring to keep me from sleeping.

I'm worn out...

Wait.

What's wrong?

What's with you?

Vicious nag...

- Are you hurt?
- It kicked me in the privates.

- Come in and let me take a look.
- I'll go home.

- I'll fix you up.
- I'll see a doctor.

- You won't get there in this state.
- Are you sure?

Yes. Can you walk?

Barely.

I don't see any bruises.

But it hurts like hell.

Doesn't take much to hurt like hell,
when it's down there.

Here? Or here?

You're too soft.

I am not soft.
Touch me anywhere.

Say, you're not crying in pain now.

Someone's outside.

Hear it?

I'm sure. It's like
something was being dragged.

Wake up!

I'll go and see.

Take your gun at least.

Oh, goddamn!

The son of a bitch is back!

Maybe he's not dead.

He's dead as they come.

- Then he's not alone.
- I doubt that.

Which goddamn son of a bitch
brought him?

There's the bastard.

Stop there, damn you!

Black bastard.
Why'd you bring him back?

- Please, ma'am.
- I'll peel your black ass.

- Forgive me.
- What got into you, for Chrissake?

Stop it! How's things, Friday?
Getting cloudy, eh?

Thank you, Captain, very well.
Yes, it looks like rain.

What got into you to bring him back?
He was fine where he was.

- Stop it.
- You take the trouble...

to kill him and this prick...

Back to the house. Now!

Don't be afraid.

I always treated you right.

That's why you can trust me.

- I'll never tell a soul.
- Good.

I didn't see anything.

You mean like Ma'am Rose naked?

That neither...
Can I go, Captain?

Sure, Friday. Thank you.

But before you go, give me
a hand with burying the body.

White folk aren't meant
for vultures.

Will he have some?

Friday, want some coffee, a piece
of bread, some pat??

No, thank you. I'm not hungry.

I'd better be going, now.

Wait Lucien.

Do you think you'll sleep easy if I let
him go, after what he heard you say.

- Maybe he didn't hear.
- You were yelling it.

Maybe he didn't understand.

You know I swallow my words. They used to
tell me off all the time in school.

Well, this time you didn't swallow them.
I thought you were tougher.

With Marcaillou you took
advantage of the situation.

He was a different story. Friday's a good
black, who's never hurt a fly.

If we looked hard enough...

I know what's bothering you.

When it happens

like with your husband's 'accident'...

when you hear about it later...
...you can say:

"What can I do? I'm not responsible for it."

But this is not the case this time.
This time you know what's gonna happen.

So you're telling me "Don't go."

I can't back out now. Now I must go.

Just checking if you've changed your mind.

I'm coming.

You think he'd wait
if he'd understood?

Tired?

I'm not feeling well, my legs are shaky.

Don't worry, it'll pass.

What's wrong?

You know very well
I have to do it.

But, Captain, I trusted you. You're
different from other white men.

- There's your mistake.
- I've always believed your every word.

No, you didn't.
Now you're lying.

Coming from a good catholic like you
it worries me.

Lying is a sin.

Killing people is a sin too.
And a worse one than lying.

Let me tell you a secret now, and that
it might offer you some consolation.

We all kill what we love.

But you don't love me.

And one more thing.
No, don't tire yourself getting up now...

Better the blind man
who pisses out the window...

than the joker who told him
it was a urinal.

Know who the joker is?
It's everybody.

All the bastards who look away
when you're in shit,

who wallow in their cash,

praying through their assholes
that nothing happens.

If it's true they were made
in God's image,

I wouldn't like to get Him
in a dark alley.

You kissed too much white ass. And now
you're getting fucked, and you asked for it.

So now this is what I do
with friends like you.

Did you do it?

I'm tired of taking
the rap,

for doing what everyone
wants me to do,

and don't have the courage
to do themselves.

- Madam Marcaillou?
- Yes, sir.

Colonel Tramichel -
Tra as in tralala...

This early visit may surprise you.

Please, gather your courage.

Mother of God, no, I don't believe it!

Alas, yes, it's but too true.

There must be two.
This is the second I'm getting.

When is this story going to be over?

Wake up.

There's an officer here to see you.

He says it's urgent.

It's war, for sure.

I don't want you drafted.

But, Huguette
if there's a war

they'll need the police
more than ever

to arrest the ones
who won't fight.

No, listen.

No?

- Away!
- Let it say goodbye to his master.

It doesn't want to say goodbye.
Dogs eat what has scared them, right Medore?

Weird dog... He's got a...

I think the victims were
struck by the same hand.

The same weapon was used
on them both.

I won't say you're wrong,
but I won't say you're right.

I know how it happened.

Friday wanted to get even with my husband
for the beating he got the other day.

So he took the rifle and -see the hole-
shot him point blank.

Then my husband took the rifle back

and killed him before dying.

- A case of self- defense.
- That's how I see it.

This isn't something unheard of Colonel,

two dead men shooting each other.

You're right. It's happened before.

During the war,
a machine-gunner got killed.

But his finger stuck
in the trigger

so his corpse went on
and killed dozens of Huns.

My condolences, dear Lady.

Make sure they're six feet under.
I never want to see them again.

I've never seen a clearer
case of murder.

- Clear as rain water.
- You mean still water.

Yes, sir!

- Kiss me.
- You're forgetting again: It's not proper.

You don't grab a brand-new widow.

Well, I have to wait for tonight then!

Look.

My God... poor little thing.

This whole situation is a real pain!

I've put on the bed a little black
dress of mine I can lend you.

The dirty pig isn't worth
buying a new one.

The veil's a present.

Don't fool with death, Nono.
It's bad luck.

Have more.

Then I won't eat after
the funeral.

Pity though, 'cause this is good food.
- It's lamb stew.

- Need help?
- No, that's all right.

Quit stuffing your face
and look after Rose.

Does that really suit me?

You look pretty, dressed up like a widow.

- A kiss?
- A big one.

Come look.

- Come look.
- What's happening?

I saw them. They were kissing.

- What are you saying?
- Don't interrupt me when I'm speaking.

You're losing it!
Why are you making this up?

I saw 'em, I tell you,
in the mirror.

- Shame!
- What's going on?

This is the last time I try
to comfort somebody.

I just told her
to lay her head on my shoulder.

Then I patted her on the back,
like anybody with a heart would.

You, my only true friend...
believing such a horrible lie.

- Not at all.
- Don't listen to those two.

He was feeling up the girl.

- Stop howling.
- I saw them.

Shut up!

- Worst for you, 'cause I saw them.
- So?

I'm ashamed.
I'm going home.

- Are you leaving?
- After what happened...

She loses her husband,
gets insulted...

It's natural she's upset.

You keep out of it.
It's woman's business.

Come and powder your nose
for the funeral.

So, my little Rose...
Your heart mourns.

Not my heart or anything else.

Are you forgetting our Father's words:

"Forgive us our sins..."

"As we forgive others."

No, I haven't forgotten, they're lies
we teach children

and they stick with them, even if they
know it isn't the truth.

Why should I forgive Marcaillou?

You can only forgive those
you love, and even then...

But this isn't something
your good Lord teaches.

But you believe in God?

- Sure.
- Do you truly believe?

I believe, but not truly.

Hey, Father. Is that pigeon
hanging over the church altar

made of gold?
- That pigeon is the Holy Spirit.

I'll say no more.
I don't want to encourage theft.

What's it worth?
Approximately...

- What's that?
- A walking corpse.

- Where's he going?
- He's looking for the cemetery.

- Gonna get buried?
- Out of my way, brats.

Excuse me.
Is Mr. Cordier at the funeral?

That's him over there.

Everybody here thinks
you're dead!

No, Ma'am, that's not true.

Well, I'm glad. You've got
a bill to pay at the laundry.

Four silk pajamas.

I don't wear pajamas,
just nightshirts.

- Holy Jesus!
- What is it?

- A ghost.
- Where?

There!

It's Le P?ron.
A ghost has to be dead first.

I didn't think of that.

Warrant-officer George Le P?ron.

It's war!

Always the war. Why should I
be the first to know?

It's not the war.

It's about my brother.

- I see the resemblance.
- Hardly.

And how is he?

Dead...

And you know who killed him.

Didn't your regiment squash
the peanut picker's revolt?

- Sure did.
- It sure took guts...

All those blacks
armed with clubs

and all you had
were machine guns!

My brother said you were an ass.

Why try to cover up for his murderer.
You know very well who's done it.

If I knew who it was,
he would already be in jail.

He's a cop, that's why.

Is it your friend, Chevasson?

He's not my friend.

I even refused to put him up
the night of the crime,

which I regret, 'cause if he
hadn't been at the brothel...

Funny, in trying to defend him,
you implicate him even more.

Oh, that's the way I am.
I don't know why.

F?te-Nat! Bring the glasses!

Don't turn around.
He might drop the tray.

You're not afraid of ghosts,
are you?

My grandma saw some, long ago.

After the big war,
God wouldn't let the dead come out.

There'd be too many.

How'd he do it?

Hello, friend.

So now, white folks wait to be dead
to shake the hand of a simple black.

Well, it's too late now.

What I just heard is awful!

Here it is...

Their favorite place.

They were there, so quiet.

What'd they do?

Nothing - like anyone else
when they can help it.

He always liked ratafia...

This might do something...

It brings me closer to him.

To think that he might've
been killed here, my poor brother...

What makes you say that?

Well, he had to be killed
somewhere.

So, why not here?

True.

I'm exhausted.
Walking is tiring...

...but walking and thinking...!

It's funny...

My brother saw you differently.

- May I call you Lucien?
- Of course, George.

My brother sure had
the good life...

Better than ours.

You can say that again.

- No formalities between us?
- It's all right with me.

- The army must be a drag at times.
- Yeah...

But I couldn't do
anything else. And you?

Same for me.

But is doing nothing

a real goal in life?

Not always.

Does it excuse us?

Can you excuse a pole
for filling a hole?

It may squash some rabbits,

but is it the pole's fault
if it fits that hole?

There's no comparison. A pole is
an inanimate object.

Aren't we all more
or less inanimate?

What do you mean?

Who knows!

Look. There's a guy who
won't die in the war.

Sad sight...

Not for everybody. Your
brother enjoyed shooting them.

And you let him?

I'm not a policeman, George...
I'm Jesus Christ in person,

sent here with a load of crosses
each bigger than the next.

I see...

I try to save the innocent
but there aren't any.

All crimes are collective.

We contribute to
each other's crimes.

We all shot your brother...

And maybe I did a bit more
than anybody else.

Strange day!

Now what?

A red and a blue sock!
I must have dressed in the dark.

I have a question
no one has answered yet.

The big question.
- Go ahead.

When you scratch your balls,
is it 'cause they itch

or 'cause it feels good?

I've had an exhausting day.

I get taken for a ghost...
I drink ratafia...

I've heard things and I don't even
know if I really heard them.

But I don't mind 'cause now I know
who killed my brother.

Who?

You told me...

I forgot what I told you.
Could you repeat it?

What matters is what
I didn't tell you.

What didn't you tell me?

Your brother and his mate, I saw them
alive and well the day after the murder.

No... no... no...

What time is it?

Six P.M.

We're entering the virgin forest.

"Women nurse these fierce
invalids returned...

"...from the tropics."

How was my mutton stew?

Even better than the one
Huguette made.

You ate twice!

I can never say no.

Why'd you marry her?

I dunno. She asked me.

What about Rose?

Same thing.

Were you with her when
Marcaillou was shot?

Let's see...
when Marcaillou was shot...

It's strange... we've got so much
inside our heads...

but when we want to use it...

Nothing!

Why do you ask?

It was good for Rose.

Even better for Marcaillou!
He was a brute.

Whoever killed him, did him a favor.

Better, a charitable act.

But not everybody
can understand that.

I'm not everybody, Lucien.

No, don't.

But why?

Don't.

When I pity someone,
it's bad for them and me.

Why are you so late?

I'm exhausted, Rose.

Sleep is all you do.

It's the best thing,
besides eating.

When you eat or sleep,

you forget about the things
you can't solve.

Think about it.
You'll see I'm right.

It's not thinking I need.

What are you doing?

I'm praying for strength.

You think it'll work?

I'm so weak I couldn't
stick my finger in a cherry pie.

It's working!
Thank the Good Lord!

It's the least he could do.

GOD TOLD ME TO KILL THEM.
I WASN'T SURE. JESUS CHRIST.

- Can anyone read that?
- No, Ma'am.

It's the beginning of
"La Marseillaise".

Children of the land
the day of glory's come...

...The bloody flag of
tyranny's against us...

Very good!

The rice pudding's gone!

I had to shape up before
taking Rose home.

About time she's gone.

Aren't you done yet?

- What's taking you so long today?
- I'm drinking my coffee.

If you only bothered to look,
you'd see it's true.

Drink it somewhere else.

You're serving lunch in a bit,
so why should I get up now?

O. K, stay there.

I'm off to the hairdresser now and
I won't be back for your lunch.

How's she gonna turn up this time?

You spoil my appetite.

What are the odds
that war's declared?

You really want it?

Yeah! I waited so long!

- But you'll have to fight.
- Think so?

They'll put you straight in with
the Senegalese fusiliers

But I'm not from Senegal!

And the black units
are the shock troops.

Highest casualty rate!

Oh yeah?

I guess a war's
not so good...

I'll clear out.

But I'd need money.
I don't got any.

But I got a friend who does.

A friend?

My sister's husband.

- I didn't know he was your friend.
- Well, if you weren't...

I'd tell Huguette
all about you and Rose.

Poor Nono... What supposedly
happened is nothing.

Absolutely nothing compared
to what might happen very soon.

I've lost a button. I'm looking for needle
and thread.

Found it?

Please put it back in order,

so Huguette doesn't have to do it,
because I won't be here tonight.

And don't look for the money.
I've taken it all.

Coming! I'm just getting some ice.

Last night I dreamt God,
had turned into a black,

just as Marcaillou was
on his way to Heaven.

So that fool didn't even
try to get in.

He said "Such rotten luck.
I get killed,

my wife fucks around,
and God's a nigger!"

This is the kind of dream you have
after eating too much mutton stew.

Fakir Birman's horoscope!

Look, Pisces, that's my sign.

"You will soon make a voyage
for romantic reasons."

- Where'll we go?
- That's last year's paper!

So what? The words are still there.

Do you think we still have a chance
in the next world? You, Huguette, myself,

all the blacks full of good will
and that counted so little?

My dream made you say that?

Maybe.

Want to come with me?

Where?

To eat fish by the river.

I thought we'd go farther.

You're eating at home.
In fact, you're late. My dinner's burning!

Sure you won't come?

I'm sure!

Too bad!

- See you later, darling!
- See you!

Over there.

I'm worried! He tore
my room apart before he left.

I've never seen him like this.
He was crazy.

You didn't see him?

I keep telling you he's not here!

Of course, he might be
in the cupboard.

Just 'cause he's not
isn't any proof!

- You don't know where he went?
- Haven't seen him since last night.

Since last night!

And that hat there,
did it walk in alone?

So you sleep with the creep.
It's too disgusting!

And you and Nono?

- It's not the same. I love Nono.
- Sugar, sugar...

Don't change subject! I'll make you
spit it out. Where's the dough!

I don't know.

Where's my money?

That money's mine, not his.
I saved it up

to get the hell out.

I deserve some good times...

to see the Riviera...

I didn't spend 15 years here to be ripped
off by a whore like you. I'm warning you!

I never saw your money!

You seen Nono's hands?

What's wrong with them?

He can get nasty, Nono! One
last time, where's my dough?

That's enough!
Shut your fucking face...

and if you move, I'll clean
the shit outta your brains!

- What'd she say?
- Don't listen do it!

- Do what?
- Give her one! She'll talk.

Don't touch me.

Let me go, you bastard!

My money!

Mama!

Don't let her go!

Colonel!

Tramichel. Tra as in tralala...

War's been declared!
I heard it on the wireless!

How distressing.

It's just like Daladier
to pull a trick like that.

It's typical...
I just knew it...

Of course... Daladier...

Until we get our orders,
we'll have to make do.

Get out from under my legs.

They're nice but a bit...
clinging.

Attention!

War has just been declared
between France and Germany!

General mobilization!

Lucien, it's awful.
Huguette... Nono...

I know, I was there.

You saw everything?

Let's say I heard everything.
It's the same.

And you did nothing?

Why should I? Coffee?

Why... to stop me.

It wasn't up to me to stop you.

It was up to you, to Huguette,
Nono, Marcaillou.

I might lead you into temptation, but is
this a good enough reason not to stop?

I just help people to reveal
their real nature.

It's a dirty job, Rose!

And you might very well say I deserve
all the dirty pleasure I get out of it.

Aren't you ashamed of speaking like this?

That's yet another aspect of my business,
enjoying other people's misery.

You've gone completely insane!

No, quite the opposite. I should
crack down the rich and powerful

but that's just what I'm not
allowed to do.

So I make up for it
by coming down twice as hard

on the poor, the wretched, the blacks.

And poor girls like you who've
put their brains where I won't say.

Does that make you cry?
Don't. It won't help you.

You know, I've sobbed
my heart out.

It didn't solve anything.

You can't get out of it so easily.

Don't look at me like that!
You heard me!

I can't believe it.

Lucien, why did you do it?

I must get out of this situation.
You've gotta help me.

- I really don't know what to do.
- How the hell should I know?

Any idiot can see it's your gun and
your fingerprints!

But that's horrible!

At first, you're right, it is horrible,

but then you start to think about
a thousand other different things:

Starving kids, girls sold as slaves for
a mirror, women whose sex is sewn up...

and you start thinking God created
murder out of pure kindness.

'Cause what is murder compared to all
of those horrors?

So, my little Rose,
the only thing to do is scram.

But where to?

Listen, I'd be glad to lend you
the money for the boat.

You'll manage, I'm sure of that.

You could make a mint
just doing what you like best.

Which, by the way, you do better
than any woman I've known.

And being as we'll probably
never see each other again,

I'll be glad to have a last
quick one with you,

even though you're a fugitive.

How am I going to get up
in time for mass?

If you so much as touch me,
I'll rip your eyes out.

Even if I go,
don't think you'll get off.

It may take a lifetime,
but I'll see you dead.

Look at him. That makes him laugh.

It's those two dogs down there.

Do you know why dogs sniff
each other's butts?

When dogs still
ruled the world

they held a convention
to vote new laws

The head dog said:
"I suggest that

due to poor hygiene here,
our assholes be left at the door."

The dogs agreed
and de-assholed.

But just then,
a tornado blew in

and mixed all the assholes up.

Not one dog recognized his own.

Ever since, they smell
each other's asses

and it'll go on 'til
the end of time.

- Funny, isn't it?
- Very.

Attention! Curfew
tonight at 9 o'clock...

Stop! There's no more war!

- What?
- There's no war!

- Already?
- They've signed at Munich.

Tonight we celebrate.

Cordier, they've
signed at Munich.

He doesn't give a shit,
if there's a war or not, can't you see?

Don't say that, Rose.

Shut up! I've had enough
of your bullshit!

I might not be very bright but I did
notice you're justifying your every move.

One must always search for the
real reason for things, Rose.

You're being a little too harsh, Rose.

And then, doubting my good intentions.

There are times I could swear there
isn't a mean bone in my body.

But now I wonder...

They say there's only one death
but a hundred ways of dying.

I hope yours will be the worst.

Why did you write that on the blackboard?

Because I don't love you enough?

You mustn't love me, Anne.

It's not because of you,
but my job.

Being with you would prevent me
from doing it right.

And I can't allow that.

There are thousands of unhappy
people, and I'm all alone...

Then you shouldn't have told me.

I didn't need to know.

I had to.

You're not afraid?

Afraid of what?

Of what might happen...

That's not important.

Anyway, I've been dead
for such a long time.