Conan the Destroyer (1984) - full transcript

Between the years
when the oceans drank Atlantis

and the rise of the sons of Arius,

there was an age undreamed of,

when shining kingdoms
lay spread across the world.

Hither came Conan, the Cimmerian,
sword in hand.

It is I, his chronicler,
who knows well his saga.

Now, let me tell you of
the days of high adventure.

- I think we made the merchant angry.
- Are you surprised?

- But we didn't steal everything he had.
- We didn't have time.

- Why aren't they trying to kill us?
- Maybe they want to capture us,

then torture us to death.



Conan, help!

- Do you know who I am?
- Taramis.

- Queen Taramis.
- Not my queen.

You have a queen?
But you are a Cimmerian.

The Cimmerians have no rulers.

You're a barbarian.
You live free in the world.

You owe allegiance to no one.
Is that not so?

It is and it always will be.

- What do you want?
- I need your help.

- No.
- No?

You don't know what I'd give you
if you help me.

You have nothing that I want.

You were praying, Conan.
What were you praying for?

Look at the shrine.



See what you were praying for.

What is there, Conan?

Think.

Show me the desire in your deepest heart.

- Valeria!
- Where is this Valeria?

- With Crom.
- Your god.

She sits by the side of my god.

What I want, you cannot give me.

- Yes, I can.
- You can bring back the dead?

Do as I ask of you and I will.

Wake.

- And remember.
- Tell me what I must do.

Soon.

Conan! Look!

Doesn't that animal look familiar?

I think it does. I'm sorry about
what happened the last time.

They love us!

We will drink to Dagoth,
the dreaming god.

- What do you want me to do for you?
- To bring back the woman you love?

Yes.

It is written in the scrolls of Skelos

that a woman child born with a certain
mark must make a perilous journey.

It is her destiny.

My niece Jehnna has such a mark.

- I want you to take her on that journey.
- To where?

Jehnna will show you.

From the day she was born,
she's been prepared for this.

There is a key she must find,
a key only she can touch,

as it was written in the scrolls of Skelos.

- Where is it?
In a castle.

- guarded?
- By a wizard called Toth-Amon.

- By a wizard?
- That frightens you.

You're afraid of magic.

And you will have to deal with it.

What good is a sword against sorcery?

- Then you're afraid to go?
- No. I will find a way.

- What does this key unlock?
- A treasure.

A jewelled horn. Only she can procure it.

Only she can lead you to it.

And when she has it,
you'll bring her back to me.

Then you will have your reward.

We shall both have everything we want...
through magic.

No!

It's all right. Don't be afraid.

- It's only a dream. It's only a dream.
- No, I saw...

A dream. Only a dream.

- Be still. Lie down.
I saw it.

I saw it again.
- No, you saw nothing.

A nightmare.
lmaginings out of excitement.

go back to sleep.

I saw it...

I saw it.

I did. I saw it.

Tomorrow you start your journey.

You'll need all your strength.
Your destiny is at hand.

Sleep.

Sleep.

All our destinies are at hand,
even Conan's,

- though he doesn't yet know it.
- We don't need him, my queen.

I don't need the captain of the guard
to steal a key. That is a task for a thief.

What I need you for is to see that this dear
child is returned safely to the palace

with both the treasure
and her virginity intact.

I will protect them both.

You'd better, my friend, for she must be
a virgin when she's returned to me,

so she can be properly sacrificed.

One other thing, Bombaata.

It is not wise to have the king of thieves
near the treasure.

So when the key is in my niece's hand,
I want your sword in Conan's heart.

Have the Elite guard follow. They will
strike at the right moment to help you.

Conan must die.

Do you think he's handsome?

Very ugly.

No, not him. Conan.

Can't you judge for yourself?

But how can I?
How many times have I seen a man?

A real man.

All I've seen is you.

Meaning no insult to you, Bombaata.

Yes. He is handsome.

Conan, wait! We must go this way.

- Not yet.
- But you have to obey me.

Weren't you told?
There are rules to every game.

I believe you.
But there's magic in this game

and I have to be able
to fight it with magic.

Akiro!

Crom!

- What are they going to do?
- Have lunch.

Those savages should thank me,
sparing them a terrible stomachache.

Why would they wanna eat someone
as old and as sour as you?

They thought if they digested me,
my magic would be in their blood.

At least they coulda washed you first.

I need you.
- I'm yours.

Tell me more about this key.

Oh, it's not an ordinary key. It's a jewel.

- A jewel?
- Yes. The Heart of Ahriman.

- Well, can it be worn?
- Only by me.

No one else dare touch it.

lf there is anything here that you like,
try not to take it.

I know when to steal and when not to.

Hit her. get her!

- What did she do?
- She came with bandits to raid us.

The others are dead. Now it's her turn,

after we have our fun with her.

Don't kill her too soon!

- Save her!
- Thieves should be hanged.

Conan, there are six of them against her.

One, two, three... I think you're right.

And she's tied to the stake.

Do something!

Stop.

I think we made a friend.
- Wait here.

What do you want?

- To come with you.
- Be off!

- Let me speak to Conan.
I said be off.

Stop!

Leave.

I swear that if Conan will let me ride
with him, I will give my life for him.

We shall see.

The castle of Toth-Amon. It holds the key.

Come bring her, Conan.

- We leave now.
In the morning.

- I'm the leader here.
- Lead in the morning.

It will be better. We must rest.

My thinking exactly.

Sleep.

ln the morning you will touch
the Heart of Ahriman.

The first to do so in a thousand years.

Look!

Jehnna... Jehnna!

Jehnna!

Akiro, where is she?

ln there!

- Who took her?
- A giant bird.

A bird of smoke.

lnto the boat!

Somebody should stay
and watch the horses.

Malak!

I didn't mean me.

I'm rowing!

Too late, my friends.

But come... come anyway.

How do we get in?
Is there another entrance?

Under here is a way in.

- You mean under the water?
- You can stay here if you like.

Alone?

They need me.

Bombaata.

Wizard it open.

Fine magician you are.
go back to juggling apples.

get up! get him!

That's exactly what I would have done.
Exactly.

There are only two left, wizard,
and you're behind one of them.

Which one?

- No! Not here!
- It's us!

Bombaata.

Bombaata!

Bombaata!

Bombaata!

I need you!

Bombaata!

- Bombaata...
- It's all right.

Crom!

Out! Out of here quick!

- Hurry, hurry!
- Quick! Out!

Bombaata!

All an illusion.

Help! Bombaata, help me!

Bombaata, where are you?

Put me down, do you hear me?
Put me down!

Look out, you fool!

Bombaata, stop!

- Why?
I thought you were going to hurt the girl.

This is one of the queen's guards.

- Why did they attack us?
- Not by her order.

Wait, wait. This is much better.
Akiro's own magic mixture.

Let me help you.

- What do you think you're doing?
- Covering your wound.

My wound is lower.

We don't want an infection to spread.

I'll spread your head open.

Is this what the world has come to?

You try to help somebody
and what do you get instead of thanks?

Threats.

Now, yell if it hurts.

I suppose nothing hurts you.

Only pain.

After we return to Shadizar,
what will you do?

I'll find my kingdom
and a queen to sit beside me.

What kingdom?

The promise I was kingdomed.

No...

The kingdom I was promised.

- What queen?
- Valeria.

- Valeria...
- Valeria.

What is she like, this... Valeria?

Do you see this woman over there?

- Zula?
- Valeria is like her.

She doesn't look like her,
but she has the same... spirit.

The same... The same...

Strength?

Strength. Strength.

And she's a warrior too?

A great warrior.

A great woman.

Could there ever be...
anyone else but her?

Another queen?

Lot on your knife.

Not on your life.

Excuse me. I must get up now.

How do you feel?

Welcome.

You are welcome.

I didn't know women could be warriors.

All my tribe are warriors.

Well, it seems that
men like women warriors.

Some.

Do you think that I could ever be one?

I could teach you how to use this.

Yes. Please.

Now, the power is in the wrists.

Oh, I see. Like this?

That's right. They've got to stay loose.

It takes practice and strength.

Wait!

Wait! Wait, wait, wait, wait!

Hold on.

lf you're going to learn how to fight,
then learn with a real weapon.

Not with a toothpick.

Here. I'll show you. Stand like this.

Yes. You do it. Try it.

And then swing it over your head.

I'll help you. Swing over your head.

good.

Now you're ready to take on anybody.

How do you attract a man?

What I mean is...

suppose you set your heart on somebody,

what would you do to get him?

grab him! And take him!

You'd grab him and... and take him?

Take him, like that!

- What did she mean?
- What did she say?

Well, she said that if she wanted a man,
she'd reach out and take him.

good idea.

But then what? I mean, you've got him.
What do you do with him?

That's easy. You see, you just...

You...

You see, in order for a man
to really know a woman

and for her to know him, they have to...

they have to... to join.

Join?

get together.

You see, he has to take his... his...

and grab her by the...

There you are, joined.

I mean, how do you think flowers grow?

- Through this?
- Yes.

Is this the only way?
- Yes.

- We can't go around it?
I go where I feel myself led.

So I've noticed.

That way.

Shouldn't one of us
go back and stand guard?

Bombaata.

Together.

Here, let me help.

Malak, go inside and see if there's a lock.

- You mean in there?
- go!

I found something. Let go. Easy.

''It is written in the scrolls of Skelos

that the horn will be
found by a woman child.''

''A virgin, who will have a mark upon her.''

''And when the horn is placed once more
in the forehead of the dreaming god,

Dagoth will arise.''

''Then let men fear.''

''Death to the world.''

''The woman child will be sacrificed.''

- Stop her!
- Be silent!

Crom!

Death to the world.

Life for Valeria.

The girl's destiny isn't only
to deliver the horn.

It's just writing on a wall.

She is to be killed. Sacrificed.

We shall see, destiny or not.

Everybody out!

Out!

Wait! It's worth a fortune!

- We come in peace.
- Then let us go in peace.

Let the girl come forward.
We've been waiting for her all our lives.

We are the keepers of the horn.
It belongs to us.

No longer.

- Who are you?
- Conan.

I have heard of you.

Do you know the legend
written on the wall of the crypt?

From the day of my birth.

Then you know what will happen
if the horn is placed back

in the forehead of Dagoth.

The god will live again.

And we who give him life will stand by his
right hand and rule the world with him.

You will die in the great evil
that will come from his rebirth!

- We will control him.
- No one is able to control him!

His power and his evil are too great!

give us the girl or we'll take her!

Enough talk!

Back to the crypt!

Bombaata, get out!

Out! Let's get out of here!

Behind the dragon there's a tunnel.
It could be our only way out.

The jewel. Take the jewel.

Hurry, hurry.

That way.

Malak! Malak, come on!

Malak!

It's the leader. He's a wizard.

- He's forcing the mouth open.
- Well, stop him. Kill him or something.

- My dagger is gone. You kill him.
- Not me. It's bad luck to kill a wizard.

Wait. There is a better way
to take care of a wizard.

Well done, Akiro.

lnto the tunnel.

Don't stop. Hurry! Hurry!

Run! Run!

- Where are the others?
- They're coming. Don't worry. go!

- They've gone.
- Taken their horses.

Or been captured. Let's flee.

Wait.

Bombaata took her.

Taramis planned it from the beginning.

We get the horn, her guards will kill us,

and Bombaata takes the girl
and the horn back to her.

- And her promise to you?
- A lie.

- Where are we going?
- To Shadizar.

- What for?
- To stop Jehnna's sacrifice.

But it's her destiny. It can't be stopped.

- You don't have to come.
I will.

I will.
I won't!

I mean, what's in it for us?

What are we? Some charitable
institution? We're thieves!

go! I won't help!

Hey!

Hey, wait for me!
You know you can't do without me!

Wait, Conan, wait!

Do you have the treasure?

Bring it to me.

Reserves to guard the palace.

There must be hundreds of them
around it. We can't get in there.

Well, you can't say we didn't try.

- The front gate can't be the only way in.
- Oh, it isn't...

Malak?

At the bottom, behind the waterfall,
there's an entrance.

It used to be an exit. My cousin's sister's
brother dug his way out there,

when he was a prisoner in Shadizar.

Today is your birthday.
All of Shadizar is celebrating.

Drink.

To life. To Dagoth.

To Dagoth.

Oh, Dagoth, god of gods.

My cousin's sister's brother
never said anything about bars.

How do we get back up?

The bars were put up after
your sister's brother's cousin escaped!

Cousin's sister's brother. How many
times do I have to tell you that?

- You said your sister's brother's cousin!
- Who cares who it is?

What difference does it make?

At the first sign of life in our god,
the girl must be sacrificed.

Or, as the scrolls of Skelos say,
a catastrophe will befall us.

Oh, Dagoth, god of gods.

Power above all power.

Kill her!

Save the girl!

Kill her! Kill her! She must be sacrificed.

No!

get back!

Down the steps!

No!

Run!

His horn is his life! Tear out the horn!

Zula.

I need a captain of the guards.

I see no reason why a woman
wouldn't do as well as a man.

- You.
- Me?

Come here.

I understand that every king or queen
must have a fool.

- Do I qualify?
- More than qualify.

Will the world's greatest
wizard come forward, please?

At your service.

One cannot rule without wisdom.

- Let me instruct you in the fine art of...
- Later.

Rule Shadizar with me.

I will have my own kingdom,
my own queen.

So it was that Conan
mourned his lost Valeria.

At length, he sought adventure
in distant lands

and trod the jewelled thrones of
the earth beneath his sandalled feet,

until at last he found his own Kingdom

and wore his crown
upon a troubled brow.