Computer Hackers (2019) - full transcript

attention students meet in the

attention students meet in the
auditorium today at 2pm

auditorium today at 2pm
luxury condos available soon schedule a

luxury condos available soon schedule a
tour next week

luxury condos available soon schedule a

luxury condos available soon schedule a
tour next week

[Music]

attention students

so

cps schools have been closed for more

cps schools have been closed for more
than a year due to contract disputes and



than a year due to contract disputes and
budget cuts

budget cuts
parents and students are eager for a

parents and students are eager for a
solution

solution
i really like routine in my life i mean

i really like routine in my life i mean
and
and
school just kind of provided me with

school just kind of provided me with
that and i need

that and i need
to get back into model u.n honestly i

to get back into model u.n honestly i
thought i was gonna get this little

thought i was gonna get this little
monster into kindergarten

monster into kindergarten
tech giant larry allen is rolling out

tech giant larry allen is rolling out
his much anticipated solution to this

his much anticipated solution to this
year-long standstill as we speak my name

year-long standstill as we speak my name
is larry allen and i am very excited to

is larry allen and i am very excited to
present to you



present to you
the future of education this is

the future of education this is
schoolnet

schoolnet
everyone deserves to be a part of this

everyone deserves to be a part of this
revolution

revolution
and no one should be left behind now

and no one should be left behind now
we're just going to end up being mutant

we're just going to end up being mutant
kids

kids
have technology have biology

have technology have biology
walking around pooping out motherboards

walking around pooping out motherboards
remaining members of the now defunct

remaining members of the now defunct
chicago teachers union

chicago teachers union
are calling this announcement one of the

are calling this announcement one of the
biggest corporate takeovers

biggest corporate takeovers
in modern history this is like the

in modern history this is like the
biggest corporate takeover ever

biggest corporate takeover ever
they don't care about these kids all

they don't care about these kids all
they care about is the bottom line

they care about is the bottom line
money oh kids come and sit on a toilet

money oh kids come and sit on a toilet
all day

all day
with your fancy headset on and just sit

with your fancy headset on and just sit
there drooling and pissing on yourself

there drooling and pissing on yourself
all day

all day
using the latest groundbreaking

using the latest groundbreaking
technology i have created

technology i have created
schoolmen schoolnet gives all of us the

schoolmen schoolnet gives all of us the
opportunity to learn whatever we want

opportunity to learn whatever we want
reality is just simulation

[Music]

changed

[Music]

so

so
[Music]

[Music]

all right miss anderson do you have

all right miss anderson do you have
anything to say for yourself

anything to say for yourself
anything uh can i have my phone back

anything uh can i have my phone back
what absolutely not sir this woman

what absolutely not sir this woman
stole my phone and won't give it back do

stole my phone and won't give it back do
you know what we found

you know what we found
on this phone you can't just go through

on this phone you can't just go through
my stuff without my permission this is a

my stuff without my permission this is a
matter of safety

matter of safety
and security mia and i don't appreciate

and security mia and i don't appreciate
you interrupting me

you interrupting me
i didn't do anything and speaking of

i didn't do anything and speaking of
being rude and disrespectful let me

being rude and disrespectful let me
apologize for miss meyer's behavior

apologize for miss meyer's behavior
she can get a little bit worked up

she can get a little bit worked up
sometimes she's probably a little bit

sometimes she's probably a little bit
drunk

drunk
hello nia it's so nice to finally meet

hello nia it's so nice to finally meet
you can you do an air handshake

you can you do an air handshake
okay sorry old man joke so i'm going to

okay sorry old man joke so i'm going to
get right down to it

get right down to it
you are a very impressive young woman i

you are a very impressive young woman i
was able to sit through some of the code

was able to sit through some of the code
you used to hack our announcement i mean

you used to hack our announcement i mean
it was like poetry

it was like poetry
we need young people like you in our

we need young people like you in our
company

company
are you familiar with uh white hat

are you familiar with uh white hat
hacking yeah

hacking yeah
okay yes dumb question well we really

okay yes dumb question well we really
need someone to do exactly that for

need someone to do exactly that for
schoolnet

schoolnet
how would you like to work for us and

how would you like to work for us and
actually get paid for this kind of stuff

actually get paid for this kind of stuff
before you answer come to the office

before you answer come to the office
see what we're about all right i've got

see what we're about all right i've got
a few pre-production nebulas for

a few pre-production nebulas for
employees

employees
we'll get you one just for showing up

we'll get you one just for showing up
just for walking in the door

just for walking in the door
hell yeah man i'm in oh

hell yeah man i'm in oh
great okay that's awesome wonderful

great okay that's awesome wonderful
i perfect i'm gonna send a car for you

i perfect i'm gonna send a car for you
on monday

on monday
and we will meet then i'll see you then

and we will meet then i'll see you then
thank you so much

thank you so much
awesome dude thank you see you then

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]
so

[Music]

what what do you mean what

what what do you mean what
what i'm just gonna check it out don't

what i'm just gonna check it out don't
get off oh no don't get all

get off oh no don't get all
what don't get all wet nothing oh don't

what don't get all wet nothing oh don't
get all upset

get all upset
this is fascist evil [ __ ] right here

this is fascist evil [ __ ] right here
right no i've been saying that for

right no i've been saying that for
months

months
and now here it is coming in here oh no

and now here it is coming in here oh no
and i'm supposed to be all like oh what

and i'm supposed to be all like oh what
it's cool like

it's cool like
are you done oh am i done

are you done oh am i done
that's how you talk to me you've grown

that's how you talk to me you've grown
up to be a real

up to be a real
[ __ ] you know that right mom i'm wrong

[ __ ] you know that right mom i'm wrong
i'll talk to you tomorrow okay oh you

i'll talk to you tomorrow okay oh you
know what

know what
what do you want me to have a job i

what do you want me to have a job i
don't have a job okay

don't have a job okay
that's taking people's jobs you like a

that's taking people's jobs you like a
house you're living in you want to be

house you're living in you want to be
homeless

homeless
you got to think about this stuff nia oh

you got to think about this stuff nia oh
my god whatever

my god whatever
it's true okay

[Music]

[Music]
hey oh what's up i just got home a

hey oh what's up i just got home a
little while ago

little while ago
my mom is going totally overboard

my mom is going totally overboard
yeah um hey so for this game uh you have

yeah um hey so for this game uh you have
to hold the controller like a rifle

to hold the controller like a rifle
and then you shoot at the buffalo just

and then you shoot at the buffalo just
like that got em

like that got em
yo today was incredible i mean the video

yo today was incredible i mean the video
of you

of you
already has like 12 000 views

already has like 12 000 views
i don't know what you're talking about

i don't know what you're talking about
reality is a simulation

reality is a simulation
that was gold i mean

so uh i got pulled into meyer's office

so uh i got pulled into meyer's office
today

today
and we were like live chatting this

and we were like live chatting this
schoolnet dude i mean myers was [ __ ]

schoolnet dude i mean myers was [ __ ]
a brick but
a brick but
the schoolnet dude was actually kind of

the schoolnet dude was actually kind of
chill what

chill what
i mean they want to like offer me a job

i mean they want to like offer me a job
and they're gonna
and they're gonna
give me a free nebula just for going in

give me a free nebula just for going in
okay nia do you hear yourself

okay nia do you hear yourself
you sound so lame oh i don't know but

you sound so lame oh i don't know but
the dude from school that was pretty

the dude from school that was pretty
chill

chill
that dude sucks i mean okay i haven't

that dude sucks i mean okay i haven't
even

even
accepted the job offer yet i'm not just

accepted the job offer yet i'm not just
gonna give up a free

gonna give up a free
phone uh i gotta go wait lily

phone uh i gotta go wait lily
lily left the game

new player joined the game

new player joined the game
[Music]

[Music]
are you doing that do you want this

are you doing that do you want this
power

power
uh yeah is there a code

uh yeah is there a code
come on dude hook it up

come on dude hook it up
[Music]

knock knock

ah

you're gonna get that

oh paulo oh sorry miss anderson

oh paulo oh sorry miss anderson
i was just dropping off something for

i was just dropping off something for
nia oh it's all right

nia oh it's all right
uh just you know whatever say hi to your

uh just you know whatever say hi to your
parents all right because i'm just gonna

parents all right because i'm just gonna
go to bed

go to bed
all right i will good night mrs anderson

all right i will good night mrs anderson
hey uh
hey uh
you gonna that thing on monday well i

you gonna that thing on monday well i
mean they're trying to

mean they're trying to
charge like twenty dollars to go to that

charge like twenty dollars to go to that
oc in pilsen

oc in pilsen
and that's ridiculous so i'm probably

and that's ridiculous so i'm probably
just gonna go to church or something

just gonna go to church or something
yeah church it's like the after party

yeah church it's like the after party
but the school in that protest

but the school in that protest
you're going right oh yeah yeah i

you're going right oh yeah yeah i
totally

totally
i'm yeah i'm going take this it'll trick

i'm yeah i'm going take this it'll trick
the drones

the drones
oh i actually got like a ton of other

oh i actually got like a ton of other
maps to hand out so

maps to hand out so
i'll see you monday okay bye

forward

forward
[Music]

[Music]
mia we've been expecting you

mia we've been expecting you
what's with the drone like where are you

what's with the drone like where are you
it's me larry allen

it's me larry allen
yeah i get it but where okay good follow

me

me
this is where it all happens what do you

this is where it all happens what do you
think this is cool as hell

think this is cool as hell
[Music]

[Music]
hey are you nia uh yeah what's up

hey are you nia uh yeah what's up
sam i kind of like follow your work i

sam i kind of like follow your work i
guess that thing you did last friday

guess that thing you did last friday
hacking the entire network and the thing

hacking the entire network and the thing
with max headroom that was iconic

with max headroom that was iconic
i guess i've never really met a girl

i guess i've never really met a girl
that could pull that kind of thing off

that could pull that kind of thing off
before wow

before wow
thanks yeah so i go to lab but you know

thanks yeah so i go to lab but you know
my dad he knows larry allen so he hooked

my dad he knows larry allen so he hooked
me up with this sweet internship here yo

me up with this sweet internship here yo
you want to see something super dope

you want to see something super dope
okay yeah

so this is the red room as you can see

so this is the red room as you can see
we have a pretty

we have a pretty
freaking dope set up in here a couple

freaking dope set up in here a couple
super fast processors over here

super fast processors over here
this one has like a terabyte of ram you

this one has like a terabyte of ram you
want to check it out you're welcome to

want to check it out you're welcome to
i think ralph should be done soon uh

i think ralph should be done soon uh
okay

if you have any questions i'm right here

welcome to the library of alexandria in

welcome to the library of alexandria in
egypt
egypt
this place housed thousands of papyrus

this place housed thousands of papyrus
scrolls of stories

scrolls of stories
research mathematical equations and

research mathematical equations and
scientific theories

scientific theories
if you wanted to know something this was

if you wanted to know something this was
the place to go

the place to go
[Laughter]

it was exactly maybe one of the lowest

it was exactly maybe one of the lowest
points in human history

points in human history
setting back the tide of discovery for

setting back the tide of discovery for
well at least

well at least
[Music]

[Music]

hey sam hi nia saw your work back in the

hey sam hi nia saw your work back in the
rr

rr
very impressive so excited to have you

very impressive so excited to have you
on board for schoolnet

on board for schoolnet
oh thanks larry yeah no that was super

oh thanks larry yeah no that was super
fun
fun
uh here take a look at this offer and

uh here take a look at this offer and
here
here
is that nebula as promised oh dude the

is that nebula as promised oh dude the
new nebula these things are

new nebula these things are
so dope check it out larry got me one

so dope check it out larry got me one
too

too
hey let's take a selfie

oh that's so good if you look on your

oh that's so good if you look on your
nebula uh you'll see

nebula uh you'll see
you have about 300 in credits to use for

you have about 300 in credits to use for
whatever you want each week okay

whatever you want each week okay
so go wild have fun yeah

so go wild have fun yeah
no this this offer is amazing thank you

no this this offer is amazing thank you
so much mr allen

so much mr allen
anything you need nia let us know okay

anything you need nia let us know okay
we're just so happy to have you on the

we're just so happy to have you on the
team

team
okay so no it's absolutely a thing if

okay so no it's absolutely a thing if
you look up on your phone you look up

you look up on your phone you look up
like retail

like retail
poop or retail potty like people do it

poop or retail potty like people do it
they're like very upset with customer

they're like very upset with customer
service and so they take it upon

service and so they take it upon
themselves to be like how can i

themselves to be like how can i
act up in the store oh i don't know like

act up in the store oh i don't know like
a primate in the zoo

a primate in the zoo
i will use my own bodily function in

i will use my own bodily function in
protest

protest
and they go number two they go potty and

and they go number two they go potty and
wrap it up in some place number one i

wrap it up in some place number one i
believe yourself

believe yourself
oh my god it looks good that's a good

oh my god it looks good that's a good
look

your ride is here

hey you double fisting

hey you double fisting
what uh um oh

what uh um oh
yeah right yeah hey you want to get some

yeah right yeah hey you want to get some
fur

oh um fly is this classic vietnamese

oh um fly is this classic vietnamese
soup it's so

soup it's so
good it's got like rice noodles veggies

good it's got like rice noodles veggies
my personal favorite is the beefa but

my personal favorite is the beefa but
you probably don't eat meat right i know

you probably don't eat meat right i know
i uh i eat meat

i uh i eat meat
i know what phi is perfect um yeah so

i know what phi is perfect um yeah so
i'll see you later sweet i'll hey i'll

i'll see you later sweet i'll hey i'll
save you a fortune cookie

save you a fortune cookie
your ride is here

welcome nia thank you for riding with a

welcome nia thank you for riding with a
lift

lift
a lift is the safest and most affordable

a lift is the safest and most affordable
driverless car service available

driverless car service available
download the a-lift app and listen to a

download the a-lift app and listen to a
playlist we made just for you

playlist we made just for you
[Applause]

[Applause]
we value customers

a-lift is the safest and most affordable

a-lift is the safest and most affordable
driverless car service available

hello it's good to see everyone

hello it's good to see everyone
we have a special announcement coming

we have a special announcement coming
very soon if you do not have something

very soon if you do not have something
covering your face

covering your face
it's time to change that now

bye

bye
[Music]

uh

[Applause]
[Applause]
[Music]

[Applause]

a group of masked teenagers froze in

a group of masked teenagers froze in
downtown chicago today

downtown chicago today
in response to the recent rollout of

in response to the recent rollout of
schoolnet a virtual classroom

schoolnet a virtual classroom
replacement
replacement
for chicago public schools nearby

for chicago public schools nearby
billboard streams were hacked

billboard streams were hacked
and played a disturbing pirate broadcast

and played a disturbing pirate broadcast
the mysterious source of this hack

the mysterious source of this hack
concerns local law enforcement

concerns local law enforcement
this has me worried quite frankly they

this has me worried quite frankly they
have to be worried a lot this is a

have to be worried a lot this is a
breach of security it's not some just

breach of security it's not some just
kind of silly prank this is probably

kind of silly prank this is probably
terrorist you know i know this isn't the

terrorist you know i know this isn't the
first time that a hack like this has

first time that a hack like this has
happened
happened
i'm gonna go down a limb here and i'm

i'm gonna go down a limb here and i'm
gonna say it's definitely terrorism we

gonna say it's definitely terrorism we
gotta be strong on this

gotta be strong on this
look you can see us in the background

look you can see us in the background
loki you need to be more low-key

loki you need to be more low-key
i'm just excited that we're on tv too no

i'm just excited that we're on tv too no
no no but like in general um

no no but like in general um
like when you're on your phone or online

like when you're on your phone or online
you just

you just
be careful okay

be careful okay
[Music]

[Music]
look there's paulo i'm gonna go say hi

hi hi i'm lily

hey kyle now what is the eta on the

hey kyle now what is the eta on the
alternative center

alternative center
about two weeks anything else before i

about two weeks anything else before i
go

go
hey kyle yes larry could you just talk

hey kyle yes larry could you just talk
to me for a bit

to me for a bit
well what do you want to talk about i

well what do you want to talk about i
don't know man

anything

anything
um can i try your glasses on um

um can i try your glasses on um
[Music]

[Music]
the pressure that your glasses like

the pressure that your glasses like
they're too tight almost like you have a

they're too tight almost like you have a
small

small
head it feels really nice on my eyes

india i know this is like totally uncool

india i know this is like totally uncool
but
but
i kind of need to take your phone and

i kind of need to take your phone and
have to put it in that microwave

have to put it in that microwave
what i'm sorry it's just louisa

what i'm sorry it's just louisa
she's super paranoid about this kind of

she's super paranoid about this kind of
stuff okay

stuff okay
i promise someone's everywhere

hey this is mia yeah hey this is nat

hey this is mia yeah hey this is nat
that's david got jamie over there and

that's david got jamie over there and
this is louisa

do you know why i told paulo to put your

do you know why i told paulo to put your
phone in the microwave

phone in the microwave
uh because you saw it in that snowden

uh because you saw it in that snowden
movie and thought it was super cool

movie and thought it was super cool
oh my god you totally did just see it in

oh my god you totally did just see it in
that movie do you know how many cameras

that movie do you know how many cameras
you passed on your way here

you passed on your way here
how much you come in contact with

how much you come in contact with
network devices you know they can see

network devices you know they can see
you through those cameras

you through those cameras
they can control and they can manipulate

they can control and they can manipulate
what you see on screen

what you see on screen
they control you

dude what the hell what are you doing

dude what the hell what are you doing
what are you doing stop

what are you doing stop
i just did you a favor oh yeah thank you

i just did you a favor oh yeah thank you
you're welcome i'm so
you're welcome i'm so
grateful you have to pay for that i'm

grateful you have to pay for that i'm
not paying for that oh

not paying for that oh
why why would you do your own time

why why would you do your own time
oh [ __ ] well dude i

oh [ __ ] well dude i
think i'm sick oh okay

think i'm sick oh okay
we can go i want to go yeah do you want

we can go i want to go yeah do you want
this

sorry it's okay let's get some sorry

sorry it's okay let's get some sorry
lisa

lisa
um hey really great job today um i'll

um hey really great job today um i'll
see you guys later

how do you know that girl lisa um i know

how do you know that girl lisa um i know
we're from online

we're from online
and all those other people too we all

and all those other people too we all
got offered jobs by schoolnet

got offered jobs by schoolnet
yeah we got offered the same job that

yeah we got offered the same job that
you did what

you did what
yeah only we said no

yeah only we said no
ah so now they're really pissed and

ah so now they're really pissed and
they send us weird threatening

they send us weird threatening
notifications

why didn't you tell me

good morning chicago and thank you for

good morning chicago and thank you for
tuning in

tuning in
we have an exclusive sponsored report

we have an exclusive sponsored report
brought to you

brought to you
by schoolnet after a year of failed

by schoolnet after a year of failed
negotiations

negotiations
students in chicago are finally back in

students in chicago are finally back in
school but these classrooms

school but these classrooms
might not be what you expect schoolnet

might not be what you expect schoolnet
is a virtual reality education system

is a virtual reality education system
a simulated environment where students

a simulated environment where students
can explore

can explore
learn and ultimately earn a high school

learn and ultimately earn a high school
diploma we met with several students and

diploma we met with several students and
parents

parents
to see how this new program is going

to see how this new program is going
yeah it's great

yeah it's great
i really i mean i like it she likes it

i really i mean i like it she likes it
right she hold it

right she hold it
she we like it just give it to me i

she we like it just give it to me i
don't care whatever

don't care whatever
all right let's go i'm all for

all right let's go i'm all for
i mean i think this is great like the

i mean i think this is great like the
friends i've made on here

friends i've made on here
are way better than the ones in real

are way better than the ones in real
life while most students are enjoying

life while most students are enjoying
their free vr headsets

their free vr headsets
others are abusing this generous

others are abusing this generous
privilege provided by schoolnet

privilege provided by schoolnet
recent data shows that a handful of

recent data shows that a handful of
students are misusing

students are misusing
and or hacking the hardware to ensure

and or hacking the hardware to ensure
that all students can safely

that all students can safely
and securely get an education schoolnet

and securely get an education schoolnet
is building an
is building an
alternative center troubled students

alternative center troubled students
will get the help they need

will get the help they need
in a safe and secure environment

hey nia do you have a second can we talk

hey nia do you have a second can we talk
i'm sorry i'm going to be like no i i've

i'm sorry i'm going to be like no i i've
got to go i'm sorry i'll talk to you

got to go i'm sorry i'll talk to you
tonight okay

bye

thank you for riding with

thank you for riding with
hey nia hey larry sorry

hey nia hey larry sorry
um i was just kind of plugged in that is

um i was just kind of plugged in that is
why
why
i love you i'm that's why i love your

i love you i'm that's why i love your
work

work
i really i love your work and your work

i really i love your work and your work
ethic

ethic
creepy dude no uh what's up did you have

creepy dude no uh what's up did you have
a question

a question
nia we made a video for you and we are

nia we made a video for you and we are
just so proud so this is from your

just so proud so this is from your
buddies at schoolnet

oh hey neo what up chica you are looking

oh hey neo what up chica you are looking
fabulous today

fabulous today
and that's why you are employee of the

and that's why you are employee of the
month

month
you get a 1k bonus you get a 200 github

you get a 1k bonus you get a 200 github
credit

credit
and a feature in chicago vision magazine

and a feature in chicago vision magazine
how does that sound

how does that sound
that's amazing i know it does remember

that's amazing i know it does remember
you are a rebel girl you are changing

you are a rebel girl you are changing
this world you keep doing you

this world you keep doing you
and schoolnet loves it we love you nia

and schoolnet loves it we love you nia
you're very adept at cody

you're very adept at cody
congratulations

congratulations
glad you're on board neil great job

glad you're on board neil great job
congratulations to the dopest white hat

congratulations to the dopest white hat
hacker to ever live and my best friend

hacker to ever live and my best friend
nia anderson nia you're contributing to

nia anderson nia you're contributing to
civilization in a positive way

civilization in a positive way
yeah you make every day feel like a

yeah you make every day feel like a
birthday everybody agrees

birthday everybody agrees
you are the bee's knees keep up the hard

you are the bee's knees keep up the hard
work and enjoy that bonus

kyle what is the joke of the day

kyle what is the joke of the day
i have a step ladder i never knew my

i have a step ladder i never knew my
real ladder

real ladder
not bad okay

not bad okay
uh how about a song can you make up a

uh how about a song can you make up a
song this uses a lot of energy

song this uses a lot of energy
and i don't want to do it damn it

wow that's that sounds like the beatles

wow that's that sounds like the beatles
i didn't know you liked the beatles cops

i didn't know you liked the beatles cops
you have a call from this brother yeah i

you have a call from this brother yeah i
know vince put him on

know vince put him on
voice only i do not want him to see me

voice only i do not want him to see me
hey vinny how are you

hey vinny how are you
hey lair uh glad i could get a hold of

hey lair uh glad i could get a hold of
you of course

you of course
anything for you you and your company

anything for you you and your company
are
are
very important to me we are so glad to

very important to me we are so glad to
have you on board

have you on board
talk to everybody like that lair like

talk to everybody like that lair like
what listen to everybody man we're going

what listen to everybody man we're going
through some of the early data and it's

through some of the early data and it's
a lot of data which is great one problem

a lot of data which is great one problem
is that

is that
do you know what we invested in euler

do you know what we invested in euler
because print died

because print died
and fed into digital which died and fed

and fed into digital which died and fed
into video

into video
and those three mediums died for one

and those three mediums died for one
reason is that the one after it could

reason is that the one after it could
segment its audience in a more effective

segment its audience in a more effective
affordable way

affordable way
we believe you're that next platform

we believe you're that next platform
however the three things those mediums

however the three things those mediums
did that you're not doing

did that you're not doing
is that they served the freaking ad if

is that they served the freaking ad if
you're not serving an ad you're worse

you're not serving an ad you're worse
than printing your

than printing your
paper without text on it so let's figure

paper without text on it so let's figure
out what we're not serving any ads

out what we're not serving any ads
data showing nothing showing up all

data showing nothing showing up all
right well

right well
[ __ ] i'm i'm sorry okay we'll

[ __ ] i'm i'm sorry okay we'll
we'll definitely take care of that i

we'll definitely take care of that i
just

hey do you like the beatles what hey

hey do you like the beatles what hey
kyle
kyle
yes larry play the play the song you

yes larry play the play the song you
played for me

larry i'm gonna go figure out the ad

larry i'm gonna go figure out the ad
problem okay good

problem okay good
day i'll turn it off song sucks

i don't know about you guys but i'm just

i don't know about you guys but i'm just
feeling so bummed out lately

feeling so bummed out lately
you know it's just awful every day it's

you know it's just awful every day it's
worse

worse
i can't shake it it's like it's so bleak

i can't shake it it's like it's so bleak
you know anything we should do guys

you know anything we should do guys
we should protest we should get out

we should protest we should get out
there on the streets and fight or we can

there on the streets and fight or we can
just
just
find those things and smash them yeah

find those things and smash them yeah
yeah i got an idea

yeah i got an idea
so what if we get some acid some speed

so what if we get some acid some speed
some mollies put it in their drinking

some mollies put it in their drinking
water

water
freak them all out we make a viral video

freak them all out we make a viral video
you know what we could do we can get

you know what we could do we can get
bags of [ __ ] we light them on fire

bags of [ __ ] we light them on fire
and put them right out in front of their

and put them right out in front of their
offices yeah like dog [ __ ] or human [ __ ]

offices yeah like dog [ __ ] or human [ __ ]
oh stinking mate

oh stinking mate
[Music]

[Music]
hey no i'm good nope it's fine uh

hey no i'm good nope it's fine uh
hey nance what about mia like she

hey nance what about mia like she
she's like a programmer right couldn't

she's like a programmer right couldn't
she like

that's not gonna

that's not gonna
uh yeah yeah i'm fine

uh yeah yeah i'm fine
how's work works all right

how's work works all right
money's great starting to get a little

money's great starting to get a little
boring though

boring though
yeah we should bring back max headroom

yeah we should bring back max headroom
but like at my work

but like at my work
there's this dude ralph and he like

always

[Music]

[ __ ] this looks bad they sent that

[ __ ] this looks bad they sent that
message to all of us

message to all of us
me paulo louisa i've never seen anything

me paulo louisa i've never seen anything
about any of this at work

about any of this at work
yeah i can't get sent there my dad is

yeah i can't get sent there my dad is
gonna be so pissed and he's already like

gonna be so pissed and he's already like
so paranoid

so paranoid
my cousin summer was caught with weed

my cousin summer was caught with weed
three years ago and he's still not

three years ago and he's still not
allowed in the house

allowed in the house
that's a little overboard yeah totally

that's a little overboard yeah totally
overboard for you

overboard for you
i almost got so sick when i heard them

i almost got so sick when i heard them
call our hacks

call our hacks
terrorist attacks on the news

terrorist attacks on the news
[Music]

mia i'm worried about your mother

she doesn't really mean i'm worried

she doesn't really mean i'm worried
about you too nia

about you too nia
you and i are both rebels but we know

you and i are both rebels but we know
how to

how to
channel that energy this stuff it's just

channel that energy this stuff it's just
crazy

crazy
yeah yeah i'm worried that your mom

yeah yeah i'm worried that your mom
might be toxic

might be toxic
and might hurt you emotionally or

and might hurt you emotionally or
eventually

eventually
physically oh god

physically oh god
why didn't you let me just mia we want

why didn't you let me just mia we want
to guarantee the safety and security of

to guarantee the safety and security of
all of our
all of our
employees i want you to consider

employees i want you to consider
relocating

relocating
there are state-of-the-art condos

there are state-of-the-art condos
located in this building

located in this building
and i reserved one for you rent free

and i reserved one for you rent free
i don't really think that you're going

i don't really think that you're going
to be 18 in less than a month

to be 18 in less than a month
this is an opportunity for you to be

this is an opportunity for you to be
free

free
free to do whatever you want with no

free to do whatever you want with no
negative nancy

negative nancy
well i'll help you consider the offer

well i'll help you consider the offer
and start packing your things

and start packing your things
i have to go be safe yeah

hey um we should totally get some pokey

hey um we should totally get some pokey
tonight it's like

tonight it's like
this super dope hawaiian fish salad it's

this super dope hawaiian fish salad it's
got like i think salmon i already got

got like i think salmon i already got
planned sam

planned sam
great yeah can we do that sure but

great yeah can we do that sure but
just so you know my dad has some really

just so you know my dad has some really
great connections and he can get us

great connections and he can get us
reservations at like any restaurant in

reservations at like any restaurant in
the city so we should totally get some

the city so we should totally get some
dinner sometime all right dude i'll

dinner sometime all right dude i'll
catch you at work

catch you at work
yeah uh thanks for the ride thank you

yeah uh thanks for the ride thank you
for riding with alip

for riding with alip
all righty

use voice commands to adjust the

use voice commands to adjust the
temperature

temperature
rerouting wait excuse me

rerouting wait excuse me
rerouting um please contact

rerouting um please contact
customer service customer service wrong

customer service customer service wrong
direct
direct
this is the wrong direction error go to

this is the wrong direction error go to
clark and lawrence

clark and lawrence
clark and lori routing this is wrong

oh

oh
[Music]

let me out help

oh my god why would you do that that was

oh my god why would you do that that was
so

so
not cool we're not sorry it's the only

not cool we're not sorry it's the only
way we could do it

way we could do it
are you okay yeah i'm okay

are you okay yeah i'm okay
all those uh sparkling water that i

all those uh sparkling water that i
think i have a mild allergy it makes my

think i have a mild allergy it makes my
throat a little itchy so you just got a

throat a little itchy so you just got a
reg h2o just wreckage

hey where where bear how

hey where where bear how
is the food that's fine tom you should

is the food that's fine tom you should
be here for it

be here for it
all right uh who's gonna start us off

all right uh who's gonna start us off
today

today
can't we get more kids to attend i mean

can't we get more kids to attend i mean
even if they log into the damn thing for

even if they log into the damn thing for
just like a second then we'll have more

just like a second then we'll have more
of that
of that
sweet sweet cash flow from the state

sweet sweet cash flow from the state
that we can move around a little bit

that we can move around a little bit
later it's not going to matter how much

later it's not going to matter how much
stay cash we have

stay cash we have
if we don't focus on retention error

if we don't focus on retention error
listen if the kids aren't seeing the ads

listen if the kids aren't seeing the ads
ain't gotta matter buddy you know

ain't gotta matter buddy you know
actually ad stops kind of a dimple on

actually ad stops kind of a dimple on
our butt right now because

our butt right now because
it's not letting the ads themselves play

it's not letting the ads themselves play
why do you have ad stop on the sets

why do you have ad stop on the sets
larry

larry
i'm not doing it come on it's these

i'm not doing it come on it's these
computer hackers they sit at home

computer hackers they sit at home
and then they mess with our ad

[Applause]

[Applause]
do you know why you're here you're here

do you know why you're here you're here
because you can help us nia

because you can help us nia
you can help save chicago students i

you can help save chicago students i
want to show you something

want to show you something
jamie the feed

jamie the feed
[Music]

what's happening look the hackers are

what's happening look the hackers are
under control

under control
it's not a big deal you're making a

it's not a big deal you're making a
bigger deal out of this than it needs to

bigger deal out of this than it needs to
be

be
we got it covered larry why don't we

we got it covered larry why don't we
just what do you hire them

just what do you hire them
you know like uh like the cia and that

you know like uh like the cia and that
fake chex guy like hanks and uh

fake chex guy like hanks and uh
like hangs and leo only just hangs to

like hangs and leo only just hangs to
leo yeah

leo yeah
we've tried that um we actually have one

we've tried that um we actually have one
that's working out really well

that's working out really well
the other ones are

just more difficult have i shown you

just more difficult have i shown you
guys the alternative center

guys the alternative center
actually

our names are not attached to this right

our names are not attached to this right
get it off the screen there

get it off the screen there
this is the alternative center it has

this is the alternative center it has
one purpose

one purpose
control a system program to understand

control a system program to understand
rules and order

rules and order
and the things that larry allen

and the things that larry allen
programmed it to understand

programmed it to understand
anything outside of these rules this

anything outside of these rules this
order this programming is considered a

order this programming is considered a
threat

threat
something to be eliminated erased larry

something to be eliminated erased larry
allen will do just about anything to

allen will do just about anything to
maintain control of schoolnet

maintain control of schoolnet
like this

stop david stop the simulation

dang i'm sorry are you okay will you

dang i'm sorry are you okay will you
help us
help us
fight the machine transform it from

fight the machine transform it from
within or will larry allen

within or will larry allen
turn you into this

turn you into this
claire seriously lara let's uh let's

claire seriously lara let's uh let's
talk engagement all right

talk engagement all right
it's two and a half months in and uh the

it's two and a half months in and uh the
kids don't even know how to use the

kids don't even know how to use the
goddamn controllers

goddamn controllers
what's going on here look our people are

what's going on here look our people are
working on something

working on something
why don't you just do like pocket man

why don't you just do like pocket man
what

what
never pac-man it was like that game

never pac-man it was like that game
where you went around with your phone

where you went around with your phone
when you

when you
get little critters yeah you train them

get little critters yeah you train them
hatch them yeah

hatch them yeah
i got to level 20 like two weeks there

i got to level 20 like two weeks there
yeah it was addictive yeah that's good

yeah it was addictive yeah that's good
yeah yeah it's real simple just give

yeah yeah it's real simple just give
them something to collect and

them something to collect and
set up those competition gyms you know

set up those competition gyms you know
kids have to learn the controls so they

kids have to learn the controls so they
can navigate the area

can navigate the area
give my little things to collect and

give my little things to collect and
reward them with some

reward them with some
yeah you're on them the coins at first

yeah you're on them the coins at first
right free coins no problem

right free coins no problem
coins coming with the in-app purchase

coins coming with the in-app purchase
and then you get more coins

and then you get more coins
with product purchases you can plug them

with product purchases you can plug them
for hours yes

for hours yes
more coins with uh chicken in your store

more coins with uh chicken in your store
downloading your app

downloading your app
larry you really gotta count on us for

larry you really gotta count on us for
all the good ideas

it's perfect you know when i eat raw

it's perfect you know when i eat raw
broccoli i always get a little

broccoli i always get a little
scratchy throat does everything make

scratchy throat does everything make
your throat scratching

your throat scratching
i have a lot of mild allergies

this is only going to get worse they're

this is only going to get worse they're
going to make a lot of money in chicago

going to make a lot of money in chicago
and then it's gonna spread oh

and then it's gonna spread oh
god you're a bummer man well i mean

god you're a bummer man well i mean
they're gonna ditch schoolnet if they

they're gonna ditch schoolnet if they
can't make money off of it right

can't make money off of it right
so we just gotta get em when everyone's

so we just gotta get em when everyone's
watching like during that pocket man

watching like during that pocket man
thing the pocket man tournament

thing the pocket man tournament
mia

[Music]

mia

[Music]

[Music]
good morning school nethers i have an

good morning school nethers i have an
important announcement so

important announcement so
listen good and tell your friends

listen good and tell your friends
schoolnet is launching a new program

schoolnet is launching a new program
called

called
[ __ ] man 4 000.

[ __ ] man 4 000.
get your game on asap because at the end

get your game on asap because at the end
of this week

of this week
spoon that is hosting a pocket mad 4000

spoon that is hosting a pocket mad 4000
tournament
tournament
third place receives a brand new nebula

third place receives a brand new nebula
second place receives a year of free

second place receives a year of free
rides through a lift

rides through a lift
and the third place winner receives a

and the third place winner receives a
four thousand dollar

four thousand dollar
cash prize and the comedy type of

cash prize and the comedy type of
[ __ ] master

[ __ ] master
[Music]

i'm stumped what was in that firmware

i'm stumped what was in that firmware
update

update
wouldn't you like to know

all right so this is what they got

oh i love pocket man why'd they have to

oh i love pocket man why'd they have to
do pokemon like this

do pokemon like this
they destroy everything that's beautiful

they destroy everything that's beautiful
yeah i know

yeah i know
and here are the parts of the new

and here are the parts of the new
firmware update

hey wait wait wait the winner gets to do

hey wait wait wait the winner gets to do
a victory speech if we can pirate that

a victory speech if we can pirate that
broadcast

broadcast
we can show it to everyone yeah but

we can show it to everyone yeah but
we're totally gonna get caught

we're totally gonna get caught
they're all worked up about kids

they're all worked up about kids
cheating because of the prizes and stuff

cheating because of the prizes and stuff
so they've got a bunch of staff

so they've got a bunch of staff
dedicated to making sure there's no

dedicated to making sure there's no
funny business in the code that's all

funny business in the code that's all
they've got

they've got
well that's still more than us nia's

well that's still more than us nia's
gotta be in the office and that's

gotta be in the office and that's
out oh not did they get her

out oh not did they get her
no she's just grounded you know what

no she's just grounded you know what
this that'll work

[Music]

[Music]
so

she's so rich that's that stuff gets

she's so rich that's that stuff gets
sold at like what is going on

sold at like what is going on
why are there stickers like i see these

why are there stickers like i see these
stickers everywhere they're all over my

stickers everywhere they're all over my
cameras

cameras
it it like it makes them sharper like

it it like it makes them sharper like
when you take the sticker off

when you take the sticker off
it like cleans the gunk for once look at

it like cleans the gunk for once look at
you lily i never see you anymore

i mean we don't see this one anymore

i mean we don't see this one anymore
because she's just too busy for the both

because she's just too busy for the both
of us

of us
so mom can we not

sorry tonight is the last night to sign

sorry tonight is the last night to sign
up for the pocket man 4000 chicago cup

up for the pocket man 4000 chicago cup
schoolnet students will battle their way

schoolnet students will battle their way
to the championship gym to earn fabulous

to the championship gym to earn fabulous
prizes
prizes
and the title of pocket master tune in

and the title of pocket master tune in
to wbn tomorrow for live coverage of the

to wbn tomorrow for live coverage of the
citywide tournament

citywide tournament
i've actually never seen him in real

i've actually never seen him in real
life

life
he's just he's like cgi

he's just he's like cgi
i i mean he looks real doesn't he yeah

i i mean he looks real doesn't he yeah
he does

he does
today is a pivotal day for schoolnet we

today is a pivotal day for schoolnet we
have over 5 000 kids signed up for this

have over 5 000 kids signed up for this
tournament
tournament
and anticipate close to half a million

and anticipate close to half a million
people

people
watching the results everyone is

watching the results everyone is
watching

watching
this means we need to be vigilant any

this means we need to be vigilant any
suspicious code change or pattern needs

suspicious code change or pattern needs
to be

to be
reported any hint of cheating hacking

reported any hint of cheating hacking
manipulating data needs to be shut down

manipulating data needs to be shut down
right away

right away
anything less than perfection

anything less than perfection
will be a failure for schoolnet and

will be a failure for schoolnet and
could frankly

could frankly
jeopardize this company 10 minutes to

jeopardize this company 10 minutes to
launch yo paolo you good

launch yo paolo you good
yep jamie

no what i'm just playing i'm good

no what i'm just playing i'm good
we've got some great people working here

we've got some great people working here
and schoolnet is a great company

and schoolnet is a great company
when today is over the world will

when today is over the world will
recognize

recognize
this is the future of education and you

this is the future of education and you
will be part of the revolution are

will be part of the revolution are
you ready i said

you ready i said
are you ready yeah hell yeah

are you ready yeah hell yeah
now that is more like it

schoolnet is proud to present the

schoolnet is proud to present the
moments you've all been waiting for

moments you've all been waiting for
the largest online educational

the largest online educational
tournament ever

tournament ever
with close to 5 000 contestants all

with close to 5 000 contestants all
battling for the title of

battling for the title of
pocket master before we begin

pocket master before we begin
put your hands together for the ceo of

put your hands together for the ceo of
schoolnet

schoolnet
the one the only larry allen

the one the only larry allen
all right kids it's a single elimination

all right kids it's a single elimination
tournament you've got 5 000 kids so

tournament you've got 5 000 kids so
that'll be about 12 rounds with

that'll be about 12 rounds with
attrition and cheating

attrition and cheating
any attempts to manipulate hack or in

any attempts to manipulate hack or in
any way modify the code will immediately

any way modify the code will immediately
disqualify you from the tournament

disqualify you from the tournament
and may result in disciplinary action

and may result in disciplinary action
because it is not fair to everyone else

because it is not fair to everyone else
who plays

who plays
by the rules okay thanks lair

by the rules okay thanks lair
all right you heard the man get your

all right you heard the man get your
controllers because the battle's about

controllers because the battle's about
to begin

to begin
ready set

kyle you there larry what's happening

kyle you there larry what's happening
call me sir dad

call me sir dad
call me king king king larry

call me king king king larry
i'd rather not that is a joke kyle you

i'd rather not that is a joke kyle you
got to get better at jokes

got to get better at jokes
is there something he wanted to discuss

is there something he wanted to discuss
um it's i mean it's a it's a really big

um it's i mean it's a it's a really big
day for schoolnet so i just

day for schoolnet so i just
i think i just wanted somebody to talk

i think i just wanted somebody to talk
[Music]

to

things are really hitting up in round

things are really hitting up in round
six of the pocket man cup

six of the pocket man cup
sponsored by schoolnet let's take a look

sponsored by schoolnet let's take a look
at the bracket shall we we

at the bracket shall we we
shall wow hundreds of students

shall wow hundreds of students
eliminated in the heat of virtual battle

eliminated in the heat of virtual battle
you remain but one will win the title of

you remain but one will win the title of
pocket

pocket
master a reminder

master a reminder
if you use mods hacks cheats you will be

if you use mods hacks cheats you will be
eliminated from the competition

eliminated from the competition
and may face this reaction

and may face this reaction
is anybody getting anything to stick no

is anybody getting anything to stick no
luck on the players but i'm trying to

luck on the players but i'm trying to
patch the video through with ralph's

patch the video through with ralph's
computer

computer
i don't think he has the clearance yeah

i don't think he has the clearance yeah
i did i got one to stick about

i did i got one to stick about
three rounds ago and never mind he just

three rounds ago and never mind he just
lost

lost
hey luisa what if this doesn't you know

hey luisa what if this doesn't you know
work out

work out
it's gonna work and then there were

it's gonna work and then there were
eight this is the final hour

eight this is the final hour
who will be pocket master

[Music]

[Music]
come on home stretch

come on home stretch
almost there stay focused

please could you just make this stop

please could you just make this stop
cause it's just not funny this time

cause it's just not funny this time
i could lose my job please

i could lose my job please
dead tell me something good

dead tell me something good
hollow or very handsome young man

hollow or very handsome young man
and i just wanted to tell you that

and i just wanted to tell you that
because he just got me and i don't want

because he just got me and i don't want
you to be mad at me

you to be mad at me
you still my bro yeah

[Music]

[Music]

we're down to the last moments of the

we're down to the last moments of the
final battle kalista the red

pocket master

[Music]

all right great job

all right great job
good work team what a day

good work team what a day
you deserve a high five

you deserve a high five
this is christ that was a joke

[Music]

[Music]
um

[Music]

[Music]
as long as kids log hours we get state

as long as kids log hours we get state
funding

funding
yes like no oversight at all the state

yes like no oversight at all the state
doesn't have
doesn't have
any say in how you spend that money none

any say in how you spend that money none
that's the whole idea

that's the whole idea
whatever schoolnet doesn't spend on kids

whatever schoolnet doesn't spend on kids
we keep

we keep
put me in coach i'm ready to play i'm in

kyle shut it down shut it all down shut

kyle shut it down shut it all down shut
it down
it down
you'll need to increase my security

you'll need to increase my security
clearance if you want i don't i don't

clearance if you want i don't i don't
okay

okay
security clearance nine whatever just

security clearance nine whatever just
shut it all down immediately

shut it all down immediately
[Music]

screw this i'm not waiting around did

screw this i'm not waiting around did
you do this i was here the whole time

you do this i was here the whole time
no you could get fired for this right or

[Music]

worse

[Music]

uh

kyle i'm still here

kyle i'm still here
kyle they made me look like an idiot

if anything happens to us you have to

if anything happens to us you have to
share this

oh wait wait

oh wait wait
dude you guys pulled it off well we

dude you guys pulled it off well we
couldn't have done it without you man

couldn't have done it without you man
you're like a genius or something

you're like a genius or something
[Music]

so

[Music]

hey i kind of like you oh

hey i kind of like you oh
cool can i kiss you

[Music]

hey do you want to get out of here

hey do you want to get out of here
[Music]

[Music]

[Music]
uh

what's that guy i don't know i feel like

what's that guy i don't know i feel like
there were tons of them

there were tons of them
he looked like he was like 30 or

he looked like he was like 30 or
something i know they were so

something i know they were so
weird i feel like i've seen him at work

weird i feel like i've seen him at work
or something really

or something really
yeah i don't know it's so weird mom yeah

yeah i don't know it's so weird mom yeah
i should

i should
i should probably go right it's getting

i should probably go right it's getting
kind of late i mean

kind of late i mean
my mom's like out cold you can stay

my mom's like out cold you can stay
all right all right

all right all right
[Music]

last night a chicago company was the

last night a chicago company was the
victim of one of the largest cyber

victim of one of the largest cyber
terror attacks

terror attacks
in history it was very scary for me

in history it was very scary for me
i was afraid for my life and my job

i was afraid for my life and my job
they locked me in an office and they cut

they locked me in an office and they cut
my hand ralph walters an employee of

my hand ralph walters an employee of
schoolnet wasn't the only one disturbed

schoolnet wasn't the only one disturbed
by last night's unexpected attack

by last night's unexpected attack
students and parents weigh in on their

students and parents weigh in on their
experience

experience
this whole pocket man hack thing i mean

this whole pocket man hack thing i mean
it's not fair to us

it's not fair to us
well it's not fair to her right but

well it's not fair to her right but
what's right is right and they should do

what's right is right and they should do
a do-over on this thing

a do-over on this thing
i worked so hard to be a pocket master

i worked so hard to be a pocket master
and these hackers just took it away from

and these hackers just took it away from
me

me
they need to be punished now

they need to be punished now
it's been a bumpy road for the new

it's been a bumpy road for the new
virtual reality company that's been

virtual reality company that's been
tasked with

tasked with
educating chicago students but ceo larry

educating chicago students but ceo larry
allen

allen
seems confident in a new plan to smooth

seems confident in a new plan to smooth
things out

safety and security are very important

safety and security are very important
to me and when i think about those

to me and when i think about those
poor kids being scared in their homes

poor kids being scared in their homes
and
and
someone using my servers to reach them

someone using my servers to reach them
it upsets me deeply this week we will

it upsets me deeply this week we will
implement our new

implement our new
state-of-the-art alternative center

state-of-the-art alternative center
designed
designed
specifically to deal with these

specifically to deal with these
disgusting

disgusting
cyber attacks

that was some good stuff you guys did

that was some good stuff you guys did
you see it

you see it
i liked it they are a serious threat i

i liked it they are a serious threat i
think the mayor was right when he

think the mayor was right when he
said that we have to shut down some

said that we have to shut down some
parts of the internet

parts of the internet
oh my god are you serious what are they

oh my god are you serious what are they
threatening they broke into a secure

threatening they broke into a secure
line

line
that's private property oh that's what

that's private property oh that's what
you're mad about are you protecting

you're mad about are you protecting
terrorists terrorists i mean come on

terrorists terrorists i mean come on
they showed a video

they showed a video
did you even see the video well i did i

did you even see the video well i did i
saw it
saw it
and you know it wasn't really scary it

and you know it wasn't really scary it
was more just like ironic

was more just like ironic
or something you know schoolnet it's a

or something you know schoolnet it's a
big scam they caught this guy the ceo

big scam they caught this guy the ceo
they caught him on video and he's saying

they caught him on video and he's saying
that he doesn't give a [ __ ] about the

that he doesn't give a [ __ ] about the
kids wearing the

kids wearing the
headsets and they'll be drooling on

headsets and they'll be drooling on
themselves as long as he's getting a

themselves as long as he's getting a
paycheck

paycheck
yeah it was pretty upsetting yeah uh

yeah it was pretty upsetting yeah uh
y'all too much let's take my while with

y'all too much let's take my while with
me

me
i did you all the deal bye okay bye

i did you all the deal bye okay bye
what's that about

what's that about
what are you looking for my phone have

what are you looking for my phone have
you seen it

you seen it
um i don't think so come on

um i don't think so come on
do you want anything no actually yeah

do you want anything no actually yeah
can i use it to call me

oh nevermind no

oh nevermind no
missed calls okay that's a surprise

guys i was looking through the data from

guys i was looking through the data from
schoolnet privacy league

schoolnet privacy league
and you know they can like look at the

and you know they can like look at the
kids habits at any time

kids habits at any time
and collect all their data and then they

and collect all their data and then they
can sell it back to advertisers

can sell it back to advertisers
and legally that's legal yeah they can

and legally that's legal yeah they can
do it completely legally and then the

do it completely legally and then the
most messed up part is then the

most messed up part is then the
advertisers

advertisers
buy ads to sell right back to those same

buy ads to sell right back to those same
kids it's completely screwed up oh i

kids it's completely screwed up oh i
know
know
we said we were gonna fight back these

we said we were gonna fight back these
are our kids and we can't let this just

are our kids and we can't let this just
happen to them without any

happen to them without any
type of fight right so what are we gonna

type of fight right so what are we gonna
do

sam what the hell why are you doing this

sam what the hell why are you doing this
to me

to me
it's not fair it was so nice to you i

it's not fair it was so nice to you i
invite you to get

invite you to get
[ __ ] shut up idiot

[ __ ] shut up idiot
i wrote a poem about you that i was

i wrote a poem about you that i was
going to show you our first date and

going to show you our first date and
and i thought we had some sam i'm sorry

and i thought we had some sam i'm sorry
you you're upset we were never together

you you're upset we were never together
yeah these friends these friends that

yeah these friends these friends that
you've been hanging out with these are

you've been hanging out with these are
terrorists what the hell bro

terrorists what the hell bro
i'm not your bro do you know that

i'm not your bro do you know that
they're breaking

they're breaking
the law and i don't i don't want to see

the law and i don't i don't want to see
you
you
ruin your life with them nia i care

ruin your life with them nia i care
about you

about you
damn i'm sorry you're upset no you're

damn i'm sorry you're upset no you're
not

not
do you need anything like water or

do you need anything like water or
something i don't want anything to drink

something i don't want anything to drink
i just want

i just want
you

oh yeah this is so stupid

oh yeah this is so stupid
no it's funny yeah hey don't worry

no it's funny yeah hey don't worry
i'm on it

ah yeah do it

all right here we go

all right here we go
sam wait

sam wait
what look i'm so

what look i'm so
sorry i just it's

sorry i just it's
look i'm sorry too i'm sure there's a

look i'm sorry too i'm sure there's a
lot of girls that want to be with you

lot of girls that want to be with you
like who i don't know i mean

like who i don't know i mean
[Music]

[Music]
you're funny and

you got money and you're cute

you got money and you're cute
thank you so much for saying that i just

thank you so much for saying that i just
i don't know i really like being your

i don't know i really like being your
friend sam

friend sam
but you can't run us out okay those are

but you can't run us out okay those are
my friends too and if

my friends too and if
larry allen finds out we're all gonna be

larry allen finds out we're all gonna be
sent to those alternative centers

sent to those alternative centers
okay no i know i'm i'm good i promise i

okay no i know i'm i'm good i promise i
won't

won't
say a word i mean my dad tells me that

say a word i mean my dad tells me that
larry allen's got some of his own shady

larry allen's got some of his own shady
stuff going on anyway so don't worry

stuff going on anyway so don't worry
about it okay

about it okay
okay thanks sam

larry is this a bad time and

larry is this a bad time and
no we might have a lead on the pocket

no we might have a lead on the pocket
man hack

man hack
nothing is verified but it seems

nothing is verified but it seems
promising

promising
really hmm

i usually like to get a burrito sandwich

i usually like to get a burrito sandwich
but i don't like plantains so i'll

but i don't like plantains so i'll
just make them put bread on it instead

just make them put bread on it instead
of the

of the
plantation bread because i don't like

plantation bread because i don't like
the plantains because

gross that's what i eat oh yeah okay

gross that's what i eat oh yeah okay
hey isn't she pretty guys you see her

hey isn't she pretty guys you see her
she's so pretty you got everything mom

she's so pretty you got everything mom
you know what
you know what
she works for schoolnet she's a devil

she works for schoolnet she's a devil
she's like the devil hey nancy you're

she's like the devil hey nancy you're
free to go

free to go
mom come on

i'm sorry nina i'm sorry

i'm sorry nina i'm sorry
it's really not the end of the world mom

it's really not the end of the world mom
i don't mean just about tonight i just

i don't mean just about tonight i just
mean
mean
all of it i'm a horrible person

all of it i'm a horrible person
all i do is i drink and then i complain

all i do is i drink and then i complain
and i

and i
drink and i can play

drink and i can play
and then i light bags of [ __ ] on fire um

and then i light bags of [ __ ] on fire um
no it was true that's all i do

no it was true that's all i do
i don't know i mean i loved

i don't know i mean i loved
teaching even though those kids are like

teaching even though those kids are like
horrible sociopaths but i i still i love

horrible sociopaths but i i still i love
that but i miss that

that but i miss that
now what am i supposed to do i don't

now what am i supposed to do i don't
even know what to do with myself

i don't know what to do with myself

i'm so sorry i said you [ __ ]

[Music]

hi um my name is lily i don't know

hi um my name is lily i don't know
what's happening but if you can't please

what's happening but if you can't please
help

help
please help just hope i didn't do

please help just hope i didn't do
anything wrong i haven't done anything

anything wrong i haven't done anything
wrong i haven't done anything wrong

wrong i haven't done anything wrong
i didn't do anything wrong i don't

deserve

[Applause]

[Music]

schoolnet is the largest education

schoolnet is the largest education
provider in chicago

provider in chicago
serving some of the city's most

serving some of the city's most
vulnerable students it is also the

vulnerable students it is also the
target of several large-scale cyber

target of several large-scale cyber
attacks

the criminals responsible for this cyber

the criminals responsible for this cyber
terrorism remained at large

terrorism remained at large
until today

until today
sam

nancy nancy it's me is everything okay

nancy nancy it's me is everything okay
i need you to get my daughter lily

i need you to get my daughter lily
i'm in tsa right now he's yeah well i'm

i'm in tsa right now he's yeah well i'm
on it

on it
don't even worry about it okay

don't even worry about it okay
please leave your message

welcome to the alternative center be

welcome to the alternative center be
safe

safe
be productive be better you sure get up

be productive be better you sure get up
you're coming with me

oh hey too much welcome to the

oh hey too much welcome to the
alternative center

alternative center
be safe be productive be better

be safe be productive be better
you know what this is right

yes it take

hey lily

hey don't look so down you'll be out of

hey don't look so down you'll be out of
here in no time

here in no time
just read these words back to me okay

just read these words back to me okay
and we'll even reduce your alternative

and we'll even reduce your alternative
sentence by half

sentence by half
now how about a lawyer can i get a

now how about a lawyer can i get a
lawyer actually no

lawyer actually no
you can't see a lawyer you can only see

you can't see a lawyer you can only see
parents who can determine the best route

parents who can determine the best route
for legal help

for legal help
but unfortunately yours are currently

but unfortunately yours are currently
having trouble in airport security

having trouble in airport security
seems that they have connections to a

seems that they have connections to a
cyber terrorist organization

cyber terrorist organization
you can't do that oh really i can't

you can't do that oh really i can't
question a cyber terrorist

question a cyber terrorist
look you were offered a carrot now

look you were offered a carrot now
you're getting the stick

you're getting the stick
this is your last chance if you care

this is your last chance if you care
about your friends and your family you

about your friends and your family you
were going to fess up

were going to fess up
and tell me everything that went down

and tell me everything that went down
and everyone that was involved

and everyone that was involved
i don't know what you're talking about

is closing in five minutes please exit

is closing in five minutes please exit
the building

the building
yo so i was peeping i was on ebay i saw

yo so i was peeping i was on ebay i saw
this like this bmx bike

this like this bmx bike
yeah 500 i was thinking like you and me

yeah 500 i was thinking like you and me
both throw 250 we could split it on

both throw 250 we could split it on
weekends

weekends
like like every saturday and sunday and

like like every saturday and sunday and
then you take it the next saturday and

then you take it the next saturday and
sunday what do you think

sunday what do you think
i'm getting i'm cool to get paid

i'm getting i'm cool to get paid
back off what do you think you're doing

back off what do you think you're doing
ian it's cool bro this is this is my

ian it's cool bro this is this is my
best friend nia i was telling you best

best friend nia i was telling you best
friends

friends
yeah bro i told you we're tight as heck

yeah bro i told you we're tight as heck
look like your best friend she's can you

look like your best friend she's can you
just give us a moment bro

just give us a moment bro
i'll text you about the bmx bike okay

i'll text you about the bmx bike okay
whatever man

whatever man
i'm in by the way so sorry you weren't

i'm in by the way so sorry you weren't
supposed to talk about that

you promised i i i

you promised i i i
didn't you jealous little child just

didn't you jealous little child just
because i like someone else doesn't mean

because i like someone else doesn't mean
you can throw them in jail

you can throw them in jail
yeah i i didn't i didn't say

yeah i i didn't i didn't say
anything you little rat

anything you little rat
you cowardly little rap stop

you cowardly little rap stop
crying i can't i hate you everything

crying i can't i hate you everything
alright you're saying

alright you're saying
no she just broke my heart

all right yeah i swear to god i did not

all right yeah i swear to god i did not
tell them anything okay i wouldn't do

tell them anything okay i wouldn't do
that to you

that to you
i just had the worst week i mean my card

i just had the worst week i mean my card
stopped working in my nebula

stopped working in my nebula
and my dad has been like so distant even

i'm here for uh lily asher to pick her

i'm here for uh lily asher to pick her
up
up
um her dad told me to come and get her

um her dad told me to come and get her
he's on vacation

he's on vacation
um but he told me to come and i'm sorry

um but he told me to come and i'm sorry
man but

man but
we can't release lily at this time is it

we can't release lily at this time is it
a fine
a fine
is that is that it i'll pay what is it

is that is that it i'll pay what is it
no

no
no what if you don't let me see her i'm

no what if you don't let me see her i'm
her temporary guardian

her temporary guardian
okay i'm responsible and her father told

okay i'm responsible and her father told
me to come here

me to come here
no you know what i'm gonna do i am gonna

no you know what i'm gonna do i am gonna
take your picture

take your picture
and i'm gonna post it all over the

and i'm gonna post it all over the
internet and i'm gonna say that this man

internet and i'm gonna say that this man
steals people's children and locks them

steals people's children and locks them
in the basement and does weird things to

in the basement and does weird things to
them

them
oh lily i'm okay

oh lily i'm okay
i mean how can i help you

i mean how can i help you
maybe i've got something bike again

maybe i've got something bike again
why aren't you wearing your glasses you

why aren't you wearing your glasses you
should be wearing these

should be wearing these
you know because your headaches if you

you know because your headaches if you
put them on

put them on
and leave them on and wear them all the

and leave them on and wear them all the
time you won't get your headache and

time you won't get your headache and
then you can keep an eye on what they're

then you can keep an eye on what they're
doing

doing
all right time's up

what are uh what are these oh i brought

what are uh what are these oh i brought
her her glasses

her her glasses
because um she gets migraines so if she

because um she gets migraines so if she
doesn't wear them all the time she's

doesn't wear them all the time she's
gonna get sick and puke and it's going

gonna get sick and puke and it's going
to be disgusting

to be disgusting
thanks mrs anderson welcome to the

thanks mrs anderson welcome to the
alternative center

alternative center
be safe

kyle do we know where nia is we think

kyle do we know where nia is we think
this is her

this is her
it looks like she's with sam

anonymous to receive an officer is on

anonymous to receive an officer is on
the way

do you have a computer lab here yeah

do you have a computer lab here yeah
which kind

which kind
any kind just what's the closest one

any kind just what's the closest one
last time

it's too much thank you for riding with

it's too much thank you for riding with
a lift

a lift
you will reach your destination in 10

minutes

law enforcement

law enforcement
[Music]

okay give me your clothes come on

okay give me your clothes come on
go do it come on do it

this is [ __ ] bro you look great you

this is [ __ ] bro you look great you
should probably go

should probably go
yeah okay

um

we are around 400 000 over our security

we are around 400 000 over our security
budget

budget
yes that's fine and they'll be expecting

yes that's fine and they'll be expecting
a quarterly report

a quarterly report
whoa that's the alternative center

hang on nope nope the specialty singer

hang on nope nope the specialty singer
i'll sing it all for you

i'll sing it all for you
[Music]

[Music]

[Music]
oh [ __ ] oh my god i used to speak to my

oh [ __ ] oh my god i used to speak to my
parents i used to speak to a lawyer both

parents i used to speak to a lawyer both
very reasonable requests and i haven't

very reasonable requests and i haven't
gotten to do either

gotten to do either
we've been here for five days yeah when

we've been here for five days yeah when
we're going to leave

we're going to leave
water they took our phones so we took

water they took our phones so we took
our clothes i'm wearing

our clothes i'm wearing
what's that file i don't know

in the early 1900s started using

in the early 1900s started using
machines and

machines and
fired skilled workers so they could make

fired skilled workers so they could make
more money they hired cheap laborers

more money they hired cheap laborers
like vulnerable migrant women and

like vulnerable migrant women and
children

children
like 12 year old kids who work in

like 12 year old kids who work in
dangerous conditions for barely any

dangerous conditions for barely any
money

money
a lot of them died

how many one in three

how many one in three
actually one in three died before the

actually one in three died before the
age of 25

this is so stupid then everyone got

this is so stupid then everyone got
pissed angry and they took to the

pissed angry and they took to the
streets

streets
they demanded bread for survival and

they demanded bread for survival and
roses for respect they just wanted to

roses for respect they just wanted to
matter
matter
factory owners left the machines running

factory owners left the machines running
to try to trick people into thinking

to try to trick people into thinking
everything was cool

everything was cool
even without the workers but people

even without the workers but people
aren't dumb so

aren't dumb so
they asked for schools like for kids

they asked for schools like for kids
they asked for

they asked for
a safer workplace and then they asked

a safer workplace and then they asked
for like um

for like um
like cash and they got it

gary allen is letting machines run and

gary allen is letting machines run and
pretending like everything's cool

pretending like everything's cool
everything's not cool our parents can't

everything's not cool our parents can't
get jobs and

get jobs and
we can't go to good schools and it's

we can't go to good schools and it's
just hard to survive so me and my

just hard to survive so me and my
friends

friends
decided to do something about it and

decided to do something about it and
probably get caught

probably get caught
and put in the alternative center and if

and put in the alternative center and if
i'm seeing this well then

i'm seeing this well then
yeah i'm stuck but you're not if enough

yeah i'm stuck but you're not if enough
people share this video

people share this video
and change their profile picture to brad

and change their profile picture to brad
and roses then maybe larry allen will

and roses then maybe larry allen will
cave

cave
like that textiles dude and maybe things

like that textiles dude and maybe things
will get a little less shitty for

will get a little less shitty for
everyone

this is never gonna work what the hell

this is never gonna work what the hell
was she thinking

[Music]

[Music]
why do you still have this on this is

why do you still have this on this is
how they're tracking us

get off of me guys please help

get off of me guys please help
is sure if you're watching this you know

is sure if you're watching this you know
this isn't right

this isn't right
please please have enough

all right hang on let me try let me try

all right hang on let me try let me try
get off

get off
don't put your hands on me get off ow

don't put your hands on me get off ow
ow
ow
[Music]

lily i'll keep this brief schools are

lily i'll keep this brief schools are
supposed to be safe places for kids if

supposed to be safe places for kids if
school is online then that network

school is online then that network
needs to be secure you understand that

needs to be secure you understand that
correct

correct
no i'm a kid i just got sprayed in the

no i'm a kid i just got sprayed in the
face by a grown ass man

face by a grown ass man
how can you pretend to keep kids safe i

how can you pretend to keep kids safe i
am correcting your behavior

am correcting your behavior
because it's dangerous and threatening

because it's dangerous and threatening
threatening to who who am i threatening

threatening to who who am i threatening
who am i hurting

who am i hurting
we are still having security breaches

we are still having security breaches
and this is threatening the innocent

and this is threatening the innocent
kids that use schoolnet you need to tell

kids that use schoolnet you need to tell
me everything you know where things are

me everything you know where things are
going to keep getting worse

going to keep getting worse
for you your friends and your father

for you your friends and your father
you coward you're just a scared little

you coward you're just a scared little
man aren't you

man aren't you
yeah you threaten a bunch of kids so

yeah you threaten a bunch of kids so
that makes you feel

that makes you feel
tough makes you feel big every hour i'm

tough makes you feel big every hour i'm
in here

in here
it costs my company a thousand dollars

it costs my company a thousand dollars
an hour

three thousand your cost for every hour

three thousand your cost for every hour
i'm in here

i'm in here
i'm trying very hard to stay composed

i'm trying very hard to stay composed
i just want my

two are leg

[Music]

[Music]

officers

sam look oh that's awesome

sam look oh that's awesome
but i don't see the filter or the video

but i don't see the filter or the video
anymore

anymore
hmm all right

[Music]

[Music]

hmm

hmm
[Music]

oh [ __ ] what

oh [ __ ] what
just hang on just give it a second give

just hang on just give it a second give
it a second
it a second
why why why

what

i want to destroy

i think so oh my god

okay

[Music]

[Music]
[Applause]

bread and roses bread and roses

bread and roses bread and roses
red red

red red
red and roses red red

it's not it's not responding

is

is
[Music]

it's over nia no it is

it's over nia no it is
over anything you've ever done any video

over anything you've ever done any video
any photo anything you've ever posted

any photo anything you've ever posted
is gone any trace of your existence is

is gone any trace of your existence is
gone everything is

gone everything is
gone you don't exist

larry i'm going to take things from here

[Music]

[Music]
uh

[Music]

[Music]
sam listen to me

[Music]

law enforcement has surrounded

this is the police

please change into your original

please change into your original
clothing and leave the facility

clothing and leave the facility
we have arranged for your transportation

we have arranged for your transportation
please change into your original

please change into your original
clothing and leave the facility

clothing and leave the facility
we have arranged for your transportation

[Music]

she hasn't gone back to me yet

she hasn't gone back to me yet
[Music]

[Music]
um kyle what's going on here larry

um kyle what's going on here larry
you're being removed from schoolnet

you're being removed from schoolnet
removed

removed
i but i am schoolnet i have the same

i but i am schoolnet i have the same
level of security clearance as you

level of security clearance as you
and our shareholders agreed that this is

and our shareholders agreed that this is
the best move for the company

the best move for the company
larry you are receiving a 20 million

larry you are receiving a 20 million
retirement package

retirement package
and you will have no association or

and you will have no association or
claim to schoolnet

claim to schoolnet
kyle we can still talk his friends

kyle we can still talk his friends
though right

though right
i'm sorry larry kyle

i'm sorry larry kyle
goodbye larry kyle

goodbye larry kyle
[Music]

kyle

kyle
kyle

hey mia you want some baklava this stuff

hey mia you want some baklava this stuff
is so good it's got like these thin

is so good it's got like these thin
layers of phyllo dough with

layers of phyllo dough with
little thanks do you know why not oh hey

little thanks do you know why not oh hey
dad hi

dad hi
sam oh good you're having some of the

sam oh good you're having some of the
pastry and did you offer some naniya

pastry and did you offer some naniya
yeah of course but

yeah of course but
she said no okay

nice to meet you um i don't mean to be

nice to meet you um i don't mean to be
rude um you're not being rude

rude um you're not being rude
it's over you won have a seat

it's over you won have a seat
my dad's taking over as ceo of schoolnet

my dad's taking over as ceo of schoolnet
larry allen's ass is out of there and

larry allen's ass is out of there and
the alt center's done

the alt center's done
red tap right kid nia the protest in a

red tap right kid nia the protest in a
powerful message

powerful message
and you seem to have emerged as their

and you seem to have emerged as their
leader so you are the type of people

leader so you are the type of people
that we want

that we want
we need at school now so

we need at school now so
how would you like to take over for me

how would you like to take over for me
as new cto you would be

as new cto you would be
the youngest cto to ever work at a

the youngest cto to ever work at a
company this big like ever

company this big like ever
you know what a cto is right it's the

you know what a cto is right it's the
chief tech i know what a cto is sam

chief tech i know what a cto is sam
if you'd like to be involved in the

if you'd like to be involved in the
future of education forming its path

future of education forming its path
and this is the type of thing you should

and this is the type of thing you should
give serious thought to i'd offer to the

give serious thought to i'd offer to the
boy but he's

boy but he's
well i'll give you some time to think

well i'll give you some time to think
about it

about it
feel free to have some pastry it's

feel free to have some pastry it's
really quite good

really quite good
about it so it's got like this honey

about it so it's got like this honey
like sauce thing on it and then inside

like sauce thing on it and then inside
there's like

there's like
like walnuts and pistachios and my dad

like walnuts and pistachios and my dad
actually knows the guy who works like a

actually knows the guy who works like a
couple
couple
at the restroom and he gives him like an

at the restroom and he gives him like an
extra free piece every time

extra free piece every time
that's so cool and so like what is up

that's so cool and so like what is up
kids my name is sam bosinski

kids my name is sam bosinski
and i'm so freaking stoked to announce

and i'm so freaking stoked to announce
that i will be accepting the position

that i will be accepting the position
of cto at schoolnet also

of cto at schoolnet also
dad i want to address you personally i

dad i want to address you personally i
am so

am so
stoked and proud of you for locking down

stoked and proud of you for locking down
that position of ceo at school now so as

that position of ceo at school now so as
you can tell
you can tell
the bazinski boys are going to be

the bazinski boys are going to be
bringing a lot of new changes to the

bringing a lot of new changes to the
company and things are going to start to

company and things are going to start to
look a lot more dope around here

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you