Commitment Phobia (2021) - full transcript

Do you really do
the stracciatella ice cream thing?

- Licking chocolate bits from pussies?
- Never mix up protagonist and author.

- Never.
- As if I remember what's in your book?

- But you do remember that.
- True.

- That was the one interesting thing.
- There's so much more.

- There's so much more!
- Oh, yeah? Like what?

- Uh...
- Hey.

Everyone's so smart.
It's giving me complexes.

This is my best friend, my roomie Luis.

- Hi, Ronja.
- Ah, so you're his agent?

Dude...



This is you!

Seriously?

No. "I love like I lick."

- What? Is that the name of a porn?
- Dude!

It's from my book!

Now listen.

That's my book.

- It's Fucking Colonifornia.
- No shit.

Ronja, Ronja, Ronja!
Come with me for a sec.

Come here for a sec.

Tell me, why's my book
lying around as confetti?

I shredded the extras
from the publishing house.

- Yeah.
- To be eco.

I didn't know your book was one of them.



- They were throwing them away anyway.
- Throwing it away? That's my book!

Oh, come on! It's kind of funny.

The book's old.

Old? It's not old. It's...

It's three years old. That's not old!

Yeah, and you had three years
to write a follow-up novel.

"Had"? What do you mean?

Yeah, you're out.

I wanted to tell you privately.

The topic's outdated as hell.

Women have zero interest anymore

in wasting time understanding men.

Yeah...

That's... That's why
I'm writing about a new topic.

Exactly, I've been writing
the whole time.

All I'm...

I mean, I've already read his new topic.

- Really powerful.
- Oh, yeah? What is it?

About the... About... lots of things.
I mean there are chapters.

It's super... He writes lots about love.

If someone can write about love,
it's this guy.

He writes from here.

Yeah, great. That's awesome.
Love always works.

Let's just do it like this...

Send it to me, and then we'll see.

Dude, you're definitely killing it.

There was once a guy who met a woman.

When the guy thought about love
for the first time

it was clear to him
he didn't believe in it.

At least not like Shakespeare,

or people who want to read
fucking love stories.

If he could construct his own woman,
she'd be no fuss in every way.

By "in every way" he means in every way,

and with "no fuss" he means no fuss.

Women always get so exhausting
because they fall in love with him.

He can't help that.

Love just hurts, the others, the losers.

COMMITMENT PHOBIA

I'm doing fine
Actually, I'm always doing fine

I'm doing fine.

I'm doing fine

I'm doing fine
Actually, I'm always doing fine

I'm doing fine...

So? How are you?

- Good good. What you up to?
- I'm in the car. I'm on my way.

On the condition
that I bring stracciatella ice cream.

Awesome! Really?

He's doing fine
because he's single, unattached,

like a tomcat
that roams the streets at night.

But then something
he didn't plan on happens.

And it happens right... now.

After you.

I fucked her all night.
I thought my dick would fall off.

- Hey.
- Hey!

I wanted that.

To cool it? Is it broken?

No, I'm totally serious.
I'll call you right back.

Take another one.
Strawberry or something.

Just because I let you go ahead of me?

I mean, it was mine.

Even if you hadn't let me past
you wouldn't have gotten it.

- And why not?
- Because your arms are so short.

Hm... Stop it! Give me the ice cream.

What's with guys?
Where's the gentlemanliness?

What's with women?

You twist the feminist thing
however it suits you at the moment.

- It's for my girlfriend.
- Yeah?

Hey!

Bullshit.

Look.

Isn't that the guy?

- The guy who ghosted you?
- Yes.

- Leave it be.
- Here he is!

Oh, there.

Really? You silly cow.

- Give me my ice cream.
- Hey!

Hey.

Why didn't you contact me again?

- Why?
- Look, you can't commit, I get that.

- You explained that often enough.
- Can't commit?

Just because you had
average sex in the kitchen once...

- It wasn't once.
- And it wasn't average.

You're as disposable to him
as this toothbrush.

He's paying. Feminism and all.

Hey! Are you nuts?

One stracciatella and one strawberry.

Keep the change.

Hey, you bitch!

- That's the first time he met Ghost.
- Choke on your ice cream!

But don't get your hopes up.
There'll be no happy ending.

Yes.

Nah, nah, nah.

Yes.

YOUR RENTAL CAR IS STILL
OUTSIDE THE CITY...

What? Bitch!

- YOU OWE? 236.90.
- Is she fucking with me?

Afternoon, early bird!

What a jerk.

- He can't be serious.
- Well, look!

Tim!
"Happiness is When You've Found It."

- Björni!
- Well?

Look. This is Kassandra with a K.

Cute.

And? Are you proud or annoyed?

Trying to break out of
your father's shadow.

And you? Are you still writing?

Yes, I am. Yes.

But more hashtags
for influencers, right?

Yeah, you don't have to think so much.

We used to call influencers scroungers.

Bye, scrounger.

Josy, what's up?

I'm reading this.
Your dad is so smart!

- Ridiculous.
- It's so awesome.

I'm doing my internship
at his publisher's.

I'll crash at yours, my favorite uncle!

Josy, yeah. Great. Um...

I have loads to do. All I do is work.
I've got to go! Bye-bye!

- Bye-bye.
- Okay, bye.

Are you the type who only
picks the cherries off the cake?

Sorry, it's your birthday!

- All the best.
- Thank you.

So are you celebrating?

Of course.

And am I invited?

No.

What's wrong with Andreas?

Back pain?

We're an interface for so many people.
We should use it for change.

So I propose we only take on influencers

who are conscious of having
a responsibility in the world.

That's total greenwashing.

I think we have to carve out
more of a profile.

Andreas?

Yeah, sure. I can talk
to our tax advisor about that.

Cool. Oh, sorry.

Hey, great that you called!
I have a great name for the podcast.

Get Shit Done!

You don't do that!

- MOM.
- Mom, now is bad.

Are you serious?

Why aren't you sleeping in your bed?

- I didn't know you were coming home.
- That's no reason.

You have your own room!

Hey, this is as shitty as it gets.

This job is killing me. I can't anymore.

What's wrong? It's a dating app.
You get paid to chat with women.

I know everything about this woman.
She's 64. She loves me.

- Yes.
- To be honest, I feel something too.

You've done it 1,000 times.
Write the classic line.

- "I'm abroad on business."
- No, you can't do that!

- Hey.
- Of course.

That was so heartless.

This love thing is pretty damn pathetic.

Everyone looks for it,
but no one knows where to find it.

People run fake accounts on dating sites

to keep frustrated singles at it.

It's sad,
sad but somehow understandable.

Even the biggest hard-asses
like being alone,

but dislike being lonely.

That's why we sometimes end up
where everything seems easy.

At our ex's.
Well, an ex we still get along with.

You've been through all the shit
and there are no annoying surprises.

Joint down by the river?

- Yes or no?
- No.

We're not 20 anymore.

Never used to bother you.

Besides, we have guests.

Ah, shit.
I don't have that much weed on me.

We're already done,
but there are leftovers.

Great.

- Get rid of that.
- Mine.

- Nice that you're here.
- Thanks for the invite.

- Nice that you're here.
- Cheers!

- Cheers!
- Cheers!

We're getting married.

- Excellent! I'm so happy.
- You need a candy bar.

- A real highlight.
- Why now?

- This is number nine this year.
- Nine, lucky number.

- Somehow it suits you two.
- What do you mean?

Well, that you're the marrying types.

Marta, can you pop
two eyes in here quickly?

I'm not so into costume parties,
but this'll be really good.

- The key is for emergencies.
- This is an emergency.

Hey! Hey!

Everything all right?

- You still owe me 236.90.
- Who are you?

You stole my car
and drove all the way to Bochum.

Ah! The guy with the short arms?

- You know each other?
- Yes.

- Not really.
- Did you hook up?

No, not like that.

Don't ruin the moment.
Be happy for them!

I'd so like to be,
but I just don't get it.

Me either.

Isn't going for walks on Sundays enough?
Do you have to get married?

Exactly.

- You're not really an expert on this.
- True. I have to go.

We're all getting naked at midnight.
I don't want to miss that.

What kind of party is it?

I'm not going because of her!

- Hey, do you have a costume?
- I thought they were all naked.

Hey, this was a really shitty visit.

- Yeah, well... Bye.
- Bye.

Aw, shit.

- See, it's still open.
- Yeah, cool.

Yeah, totally.

- Hey.
- Hi.

Two beers, right?

Yep.

- How much is that?
- That's 5.80.

- Thanks.
- Here.

I think I have that exact amount.

- Thanks.
- You too?

Um... Oh, yeah.

- Um... Keep the change. Thanks.
- So much?

Are you taking off now or what?

That's rough,
screwing up a date on account of 2.90.

Really, quite the achievement.

Cheers.

I hope you had a nice night,
but bring the damn curtain back!

It's the first thing
I ever sewed myself. Thanks.

- Yeah, then give me a call, okay?
- No, not likely.

- Then I'll call you.
- No, don't.

- Oops, sorry.
- Sorry.

Bye. Sorry.

Bye.

Sorry.

Fuck.

Yes, I expected more from you.

And you?

Hm, creative.

Do you think
they'll be happy to get this?

It's a tradition where I'm from.

- An engagement present.
- And the holes?

- Are they supposed to go through them?
- Could you quiet down or go inside?

- It's a tradition where he's from.
- Yeah.

Did you rub mud on each other
or is this shit on here?

Ah, the holes are eyes?

Nah.

Definitely not.
It was a totally different party.

I was at a totally different party.

It was obviously
an awesome night for you.

- GRANDPA'S 85TH BIRTHDAY. STARTS NOW.
- Grandpa. Shit!

Yeah, it was really good.

It was fantastic!
Sorry about the curtain.

That'll get you
a participation award, no more.

- Do you have a crush on me or what?
- Huh? What? Why?

- Calling after me like in a 50s movie?
- No.

Then we can go ahead and bang.

Happy birthday.

- Boy! Oh boy, oh boy! That's great.
- Yeah, sure. Come here.

I'm looking forward to it too.

Smells good, right?

Ah, sure does!

- Here.
- Thanks.

What about your book?

You do ten things at once
but none of them properly.

Goethe and Schiller wouldn't have gotten
anywhere that way either.

Dieter thinks
you need to focus more too.

Who's Dieter?

We're still getting to know each other.

Where did you meet him?

On Salt and Pepper.

Mom!

- Here. What do you think of it?
- Mom, I don't want to see that.

- At least have a look.
- No!

- Have you met him in person yet?
- Nope.

Dieter had to take
a spontaneous trip abroad last week.

But we're going to meet, in Cologne.

Mom!

That's a classic fake account,
one of hundreds!

It's not real.

- My roomie Luis does that too.
- Oh, Tim.

- You and Jasper playing grown-up?
- How do you know his name is Jasper?

- Are you stalking me?
- I follow you on Insta.

Cool T-shirt, dude. Looks good on you.

WHAT'S YOUR ADDRESS?

- Hey.
- Hi.

- Want a drink?
- No, I don't have all that much time.

Well, then...

Yeah... Bed?

Fuck.

- Oh, shit.
- It's...

- I'll fix it.
- It's okay. Keep going.

Okay.

Oh, man!

- I'll fix that for you.
- We're killing it.

- I'll try harder next time.
- There's going to be a next time?

- Bye.
- Bye.

- What are you doing?
- I thought you'd like that.

No, I don't.

- Sorry, I got you mixed up.
- Seriously?

- Keep going.
- Oh, man!

- Yeah, bye.
- Bye.

Man!

- Not funny.
- It is.

- Bye.
- Bye.

She's been here several times, right?

- So?
- What?

How many times was she here? Four times?

- What?
- Five times?

I'm happy for you.

I'm sure I've let 20 women go
who'd have been perfect for me.

Being single has become a lifestyle.

We all think,
"Something better could come along."

I don't know
how much longer I can do this.

There were definitely 20, 25, right?

Since when did romance
become your thing?

What do you mean romance?

Just enjoy the single life.
What's the problem?

Nah.

Yes.

Yes.

Nah, nah, nah.

Nah.

Bye.

Bye.

Love is like ghosts.

If you've never seen one
you don't believe in them.

And a door clattering somewhere
is no reason to crap your pants.

There are more important things in life.

Sorry, we had to go
to the doctor's and school,

then we had to get Mia tennis shoes.

Can you take a look at this?

- Here.
- Hey, Mia. Hey, hey! Don't!

I think I'm at the wrong agency.
If we think that's cool, I'm out.

Okay, sure.

Sure, I...

- I'll take a look at it.
- Okay.

I'll take a look at it.

I'll be right back, I... Cool.

- You forgot your kid.
- I'm Mia!

You forgot Mia.

Daddy cries all the time.

I'm too old for this job.
I just can't keep up.

Do you ever feel pressure here?

God, it's just all such crap.
Empty bullshit.

I mean, really senseless shit.

Everyone tells you
what'll make you happy.

Hey, I get that from my mom.

Same exact thing. "Do this, do that."

I can't make the simplest decisions.

Walk on red or not?

- Scrambled egg or fried egg?
- Eggs suck.

- Amelia, Matilde, Mia or Josefine?
- You chose Mia, that's good.

Viktoria decided that.

And...

- Maybe the two of you should split up.
- What?

Yeah.

Maybe it'll do you good.

Viktoria is the best thing
that's ever happened to me.

WANT TO COME BY?

SURE. WILL LET YOU KNOW
WHEN I'M ON MY WAY.

Right.

I'll take you home now, all right?

I can't.

- I can't.
- Come on, let's go.

Come on.
Everything will be fine tomorrow.

Andreas!

Andreas, grab on over there!

Grab on there!

Hey, hey! Hey, give me your hand.

Your hand, your hand!

Come on.

Andreas, what are you doing?

What are you doing?

Everything's fine.

Hey, are you on your way?

Hey, um...

to be honest, I'm not on my way. I'm...

- I'm at the hospital.
- Why the hospital?

Not for myself because...

my boss... my friend,

he jumped in the river and, uh...

Yeah, and that's why I'm here.

And his wife is here
and I'm not allowed in and...

And I honestly just don't know.

What hospital are you at?

- Where did you steal that?
- It was just there at a gas station.

Of course.

Come, get on.

Look.

Hey, be careful.

Be careful!

Just playing.

You fucking roaches!
There are babies in here!

Babies on board. Can't you see that?

Uh, I don't see any babies. You?

- I don't see any either.
- Yeah, but still.

There could be babies in there, right?
You'd have killed twins!

"Killed" isn't a word
to throw around lightly.

And what about
the scratched paint? You see it?

- I don't see a thing.
- You don't see it?

Get off, get off!
Hello? Scratched paint.

- Where exactly?
- Right here!

Hey! Hey, stop there!

There.

- In here?
- Yeah. Come on.

Watch out, it's slippery.

Come on!

- Afraid of heights?
- Nonsense.

Do you want to talk about it?

Nah.

Know what I love about pistachios?

That you have to work to get to them?

That they're salty?

That they have a hard shell.

That's good too.

Some animals have drop attacks.
Goats jump off cliffs in New Zealand.

Drop attacks are something else.

- You're talking shit.
- No, I read that once.

Really.

I just didn't realize at all
that he wasn't doing well.

Somehow I just didn't see it.

The good thing is
you have the chance to help him now.

I didn't have that.

Family?

My brother.

I have this dream quite often.

I dream I can save him,
but before I can I fall.

I fall and fall,
and wake up just before I crash down.

I haven't told
anyone that in a long time.

I'm not just anyone.

You weirdo.

Don't you think it's antisocial

that tax money is being spent
for me to come up here?

Hit-and-run by the river.

A couple in their 30s,
a man in a jean jacket

and a woman with short blond hair.

I never have my ID on me.
We were just sitting there.

- I was just sitting around chewing gum.
- This is my building site.

I'm Ms. Liebig, the architect.

Right.

- Even your boyfriend...
- He's not my boyfriend.

But making out and petting and all.

Where are the boundaries nowadays?
Girlfriend, wife...

Everything okay?

Ah, shit.

No!

Ah! I think my arm's broken.

Your arm doesn't look good at all.
It's black and blue.

You okay?

You won't get out of the hit-and-run
and damaged car.

Really dumb.

Climbing up scaffolding
and then falling off.

Yeah.

No.

I did build that building.

So you're an architect?

I love creating something that stays.

It's nice that there are still
people who do what they love.

Don't say you've never loved.

Sure I have.

My rabbit. He was one cool dude.

Oh, nice and soft.

We really are a good match.

You think?

I had a rabbit once too.

But a dog bit it in the neck.

You've had some bad luck.

What did your rabbit look like?

White with black eyes.

You've had lots of bad luck too.

- Good evening.
- Good evening.

Yeah.

Thanks again.

For the broken arm?
You did that yourself.

Okay, bye.

Bye.

Hey.

You looked back at me again.
It's getting obvious.

You know that yourself.

Hello, Andreas.

It's really great that you exist.

Just so you know that.

Okay.

COMPLETE IDIOT

Did you get into a fight with someone?

Yeah, it was really badass.

The first day was cool as hell.
I get to write my own short story!

If it's good it'll be published online.

How cool would it be if I got
to kick off my career right away?

Wait, wait, wait.

- Your what?
- I want to be an author.

I rock at German and my teachers say
I definitely have imagination.

So, I can hardly
do anything else, right?

- Yeah.
- Talent skips generations.

Grandpa was successful, you weren't
and I will be.

- Talent isn't everything.
- Just my point.

I really want it.

Hi.

This really is an awesome apartment.

He was afraid to leave me here alone.

- Makes sense.
- You think?

- Really cool cast. Looks good on you.
- Thanks.

I get to write my own short story.

If it's good,
it'll be published next month.

That's so sick! Crazy!

"Complete idiot."

"You know,

I really want it."

That's the first basket with eyes shut.

She's like a cat
that roams the streets at night,

so free and unattached.

That shakes his idea of himself
at its core.

But why?
He hardly knows anything about her.

When is her birthday?

Thinking about her
is like riding in a rickshaw with her.

Extremely careless.

What would be the loveliest date
you could imagine?

- Why are you asking me that?
- Yeah, well, because...

Because you have so many admirers.

No, not anymore. Dating life is over.
I'm so sick of it all.

Okay, but what'd be your loveliest date?
Theoretically?

Practically?
I decided to have my eggs frozen today.

- Really?
- Do you know what a relief it is?

No more empty words
about being single not being so bad.

"Enjoy your freedom, but it's odd
that you can't find a guy."

- Dating is the new final stop.
- That's a bit much.

Nothing comes afterwards.

Yeah, but then you're still alone.

No, I have myself.

No crappy Sundays with the city rubbing
it in your face that you're single.

Fuck Sundays. I hate Sundays.

Sundays.

- Hi.
- I brought us summer rolls.

Did we have a date?

No, but... it's Sunday.

I see, and you don't have a couch?

Sure I do, but I thought
we could be single together.

Are you serious?

It's strange that it's easier to fuck
than to eat Asian food with someone.

With some people it's easier
to eat Asian food than it is to fuck.

Supposedly there are people
who can do both.

You mean couples.
Yes, crazy species.

- Yeah, disgusting. Ew!
- Yeah.

Now we've had Asian food and sex.

Sex on a full stomach
is totally underrated.

We should do it a lot more often.

A few girls want something from you.

Checking my phone now?

Maybe you put it there so I'd check it?

What is this anyway?

Is it an amusement park or something?

A cemetery.

Really?

I've honestly never wondered...

who builds these things.

And this is a café?

Yes.

I always find such places
so insanely anonymous.

People who go there want to talk.
Why not put in a café?

It's a great idea.
Is it commissioned work?

Um... It's a model, an idea.

You should present it.

You should show it to someone.

The most important thing
is having the courage to try.

Always have courage.

And if I don't dare try
because I'm afraid?

Afraid it'll be rejected.

Right now, it still belongs to me.

Do you know what I mean?

Wanna watch some Netflix?

I have time.

Uh... Yeah.

I was planning on doing that anyway,
but I wanted to do it alone.

- Is that bad?
- No, not at all.

Good.

Okay, then, um...

Then bye.

- Bye.
- Asian food at my place next time?

- Sure, I'll be in touch.
- Bye.

- Ciao.
- You bring it, right?

Write.

WHEN WILL WE MEET FOR ASIAN FOOD?

What can be so hard about that?

TODAY?

WE CAN EAT SOMETHING ELSE.
WE DON'T EVEN HAVE TO EAT.

EVERYTHING OKAY????

Never.

No?

Women.

I don't know if you got my messages.
I'm already here. I'm waiting for you.

Where is she?

Where is she?

Phil, it's me.

Hey, I'm around the corner.
What are you up to?

Two gin & tonics, please.

Hey, you don't need
to contact me anymore. Okay?

- I have a boyfriend now.
- That's nice.

Yeah, really nice.
And I have a ping-pong table.

I thought we were talking about stuff
no one cares about.

Good luck with the new toothbrush.

Everything is always good for something.

Waiting too long for someone
who doesn't want you makes you a victim,

a victim of your damn bullshit feelings.

DO YOU WANT TO GO STEADY WITH ME?
YES, NO, MAYBE...

God.

Hey.

Wait. Wait.

Hello, my honey bunny.

Listen, it's me.

I think your phone fell in the toilet.
I know that.

0-1-7-3-4-5...

What are you doing tonight?

30-30...

Dude, what are you doing? I need you!

- I need the cock of Cologne, the rabbit.
- Stop that!

- Stop that.
- Don't you get it?

- You're being ghosted.
- Everything happens for a reason.

- She has a reason.
- Yeah.

You have no idea. I'm not an idiot.

I write her and write her and write her.

You need magic wings.

Yeah!

She'll fall in love with you immediately
with those wings.

I need the wings. 1,000 euros!

It's not true. It's not true!

Fuck, fuck!

- Go, go!
- Don't do it.

Don't do it!

- 1,000 euros!
- Oh my God!

- Dude, you're not really doing this.
- It's a donation for love.

- It's a donation for love.
- No, don't do it.

Okay, stop!

- Yes!
- Yes!

I'm very close.

I'm getting ever closer.

Come out!

Hello!

- Tim?
- Yeah?

Um... I don't think she's there.

- What are you doing here?
- Hey.

- I wanted to...
- Are you okay?

Hey! Are you nuts?

He's from Airbnb!

Hello?

I'm outside the door to pick you up!

- 3030...
- Dude, what are you doing?

I need you!
I need the cock of Cologne, the rabbit.

- Stop that.
- Yeah, that's embarrassing.

Can you take another one?
Do you have another one?

I just pissed on my dad.

"Happiness is when you've found It,"
you know?

Then it's happiness.

Oh God.

I have to get out of Cologne.

- I have to move.
- Yeah, clean the kitchen first.

You didn't clean last week.

God, dude!

Dude!

Is your life always like this?

So colorful and fun?

Nah.

So pathetic.

What's your story about anyway?

About a girl
who wants to be just like her uncle.

Really?

Of course not.

That'd make a great story.

Too bad.

I always used to hope
I'd find someone like you someday.

- Now you have Jasper.
- You're so ignorant.

He's been gone four days.
I broke up with him ages ago.

- Why?
- He was so clingy.

He always wanted
to do something with just me.

- And I'm in Cologne.
- But that's really sweet.

That's really sweet.

God, that's so sweet, man.

God.

- God!
- Are you sick?

SORRY, I GOT WASTED.

IT HAPPENS.

DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY.

I wanted to tell you I'm in the city.
Dieter and I have our big day today.

Maybe I'll see you later.

Mom.

He's not real!

Get it into your head. He's not real!

This Dieter guy doesn't exist.
Don't you see?

That... That service hires people
to write to users.

It's not real. That's not Dieter.

I can tell
if I'm writing someone who's serious.

It isn't real. How can you know?

- Maybe it's a matter of self-confidence.
- Exactly.

Did you know that Dad...

is happier with his new family
than with us?

I think that's wonderful.
I'm really happy.

Elisabeth, hello.

That's Dieter.

- Can I see your ID?
- Why are you here? I'm here for a date.

- No, your ID.
- This is my son Tim.

- He's not usually like this.
- Oh, hello.

You told me he was a grown-up.

You can touch him if you want.

Just write.

Who's going to be there tonight
for the pre-wedding party?

Are neighbors going to be there?

They're all invited.

I liked the other one better.

- Really?
- Where are you going?

Pre-wedding party.

Then the sweater is very important.

You can come along if you want.

It'll bring luck.

You got it? It's so good you're with me.

Hey.

Congratulations.

Thanks.

Get in here.

Don't smoke it alone, all right?

I won't smoke it without you.

Hey, you didn't tell
anybody about it, right?

About last time?

- Right?
- Nah.

- Thanks.
- No one would have believed me anyway.

Hey, there, little angel.

Well, I did tell Udi everything.

Just perfect.

Hey, this is really fun.
Thanks for bringing me along.

- That's me.
- Guys, I love pre-wedding parties!

No one can take
these old traditions away from us.

Yeah, go crazy!

Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!

To Marta and Udi.

May this broken porcelain
bring you luck!

Off to my place, or what?

The toilet was occupied for two hours
And I really have to pee.

Yeah, cool.

Cool.

Gotta do what you gotta do.

Some pee next to cars, others stand
naked outside doors in angel wings.

Well, better an angel than a ghost, eh?

- I'd have contacted you. Somehow.
- Is that so?

Yes.

- What is it you want from me anyway?
- Bye.

I'm about to come.

- You too?
- Um...

- Yeah, me too.
- Good.

- Did you come?
- I doubt anyone's coming tonight.

A revenge fuck is just a stupid idea.

- Why revenge fuck?
- It is stupid.

No one feels better afterwards.

- Right?
- Depends.

And where are you going now?

Ciao.

Ciao? What do you mean "ciao"?

Hold on. Charlie, now... Charlie!

I want to dance.

Then ciao.

- Now?
- Yes, now.

- You coming? Nothing matters anyway.
- Wait. Nothing matters at all or what?

Wait. How do you mean "nothing matters"?

A minor lives here.

Yeah.

I'm sorry.

I don't care.

I miss him so much.

- Keep still.
- No.

She's not good for anything.

Really, nothing at all.

She's no good at all.
She's no competition.

Got you!

Do you know what? He misses you
as much as you miss him.

You think?

I know it.

You wait so long for a message

and then don't dare listen to it.

You imagine all the things it could be.

An apology, a confession.

It has to be something big.

Hey. The police contacted me
about the accident.

We're supposed to make a statement.
It's absurd, he backed out.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- So early. I'm sorry.
- It's not early.

Only three percent of Germans
sleep past nine.

- Really?
- Yes.

And 50 percent of Germans
shower in the morning.

- Is that a lot or a little?
- It's a lot, isn't it?

- Well, I never shower in the mornings.
- Yeah?

I can smell that from here.

They wanted us both to make statements.

Well, yeah, that makes sense.

- How's your hand doing?
- Better and better.

- Cool.
- Ms. Liebig, please come in.

- Should I come too?
- No, we only need Ms. Liebig.

What?

He was there.
He needs to make a statement.

Yeah, sure.

As I said on the phone,
we only need you.

May I?

No.

Listen, if you want to see me...

you can just respond
to my messages, it's easier.

Which one?
The one about you pissing on your dad?

For example.

We're even, by the way.

The Airbnb guy, he didn't pay his bill.

That was so obvious.

Hm. Strange.

- Yeah, then I'll be off.
- Yeah.

- Hey?
- Yes.

I thought...

maybe we could meet for sex.

What?

I thought
maybe we could meet for sex again.

- No, definitely not.
- Why not?

Don't want anyone falling in love.

Damn lock. Fuck.

God, man.

Fuck.

You're different to the rest.

You're not listening to what I say.

You know I'm not as good at silence
As you.

Because you don't tell me everything

I ask you again and you say nothing.

Because you don't tell me everything

I ask you again and you say nothing.

But I can see something in your face.

I don't know what it is.

But I can see something in your face.

I don't know what it is.

She's no good for us.

This is the first time
I've been lovesick.

Me too.

You too?

Yes.

How long were you together?

- Not at all.
- That's tough.

Okay.

So you told her you're in love with her,

and she said, "Nah!" Or what?

I'm no idiot.
I didn't tell her I love her.

Why not?

So she wouldn't say "nah."

- You didn't have the courage?
- This isn't about that at all.

Yep.

Saying what you really feel

is the fucking hardest thing
in the world.

Especially when you never really do it.

I can't sleep.

Hey!

- What are you doing here?
- And you?

- I live here.
- Really?

May I introduce you? Charlie.

- Someone has to leave.
- Beat it.

Come on, go!

Hey.

I wanted to tell you. Cool as hell!
Jasper and I are back together.

The other girl was just
to make me jealous. So obvious!

When you're young, love is easy.

When you get older
everything gets more complicated.

You're pickier, others are crazier.

And sometimes...

Sometimes you just get scared.

But enough of that.

Bye!

Be nice to Daddy.

Huh? I always am.

Well, the last time he saw you
he jumped into the river afterwards.

Thanks.

He's always willing to listen to you.

I once had a bird.

No wonder you're so flighty.

I'm going to go into therapy.

I won't be going back to the agency yet.

That's a good decision.

What's with you?
Do you have burnout too?

- Maybe love burnout.
- Definitely not.

Why the rabbit?

Just because.

- You bought it for a woman.
- Yes.

For Mia.

Thanks!

Bye.

You can call me
if you ever need anything.

If you want to... go swimming.

You're a very strange person.

I'm nearly done.

I read it.

Yes. And?

"Guy meets woman."

You didn't have any better ideas?

The reader found
about 5,000 grammar mistakes.

Yes, but...

You can correct those.

Yes, you can.

And he did.

And did he like it? I mean...

And you?

I made confetti out of it.

Really?

- Just messing with you.
- Yeah.

Keep your calendar free.
You have a few readings.

Congratulations.

"When you get scared of love,
you have to decide.

It's simplest to become a ghost yourself
and vanish from the other person's life.

Or you lay the ghost to rest.

But in order to do that
you have to have courage.

Damn, you need
a hell of a lot of courage."

But that means...

you want to be with her permanently,
as a couple.

I can imagine that with her.

But what if she doesn't want that?

My grandma always said,

"If they're roses,
then they'll blossom."

The umbrella,

the umbrella as a symbol,

as a symbol
for sheltering your marriage.

We, your friends, are your umbrella.

Your love falls
under the shelter of the umbrella.

Shelter from dangers...

I DON'T JUST WANT SEX WITH YOU,
I WANT ASIAN FOOD TOO!

YOU CAN SAY "NAH" IF YOU WANT.

Did I say there wasn't a happy ending?

Yes, I know, but this isn't an ending.

It is... the beginning.

We were here at the same time.
You still didn't get it.

- It's because my arms are too short.
- I know.

But it's for my girlfriend!

- For your girlfriend?
- Yes.

That's sweet.

Here she is. Here she is.

- Here she is.
- No, no, no.

Peekaboo!

Peekaboo.

Why didn't you contact me?

Yeah, why didn't you contact him?

- Tied up.
- Tied up.

I thought we had a kind of...
a kind of connection.

Connection? You're as disposable to her
as this toothbrush is!

She's everything but
what you're looking for!

Really.

No Limits Media 2021
Subtitles: Nathan Fritz et al.