Closet Monster (2015) - full transcript

- And in we go. Boom! Boom!
And this goes like that.

OK, catch ya later.
See ya around.

- Can I have a dream?

- A dream? Absolutely not.
It's too late, buddy.

- Please! Please, please...
- Nope.

There's nothing I can do,
I'm off the clock.

Get a union guy.

Alright, alright, big sulk.

I'll give you a dream.
Here we go.

Ready?
- Yeah.

- Um...



So it's a full moon,

and a gang of vampires

are stalking throughout
the graveyard,

and all you have
is a little wooden stake.

It's gonna be super dangerous.

It's gonna be super scary.

But not, like, so scary

that you come and you wake up
mom and dad.

And you're gonna be surrounded

by sexy ladies.

You ready?
- Yeah.

- Tell me how it is.

- Go on.

- Oscar, your father and I have
something to tell you.



- "Your father"? No.
Don't say your father.

Your father has nothing to do with this.
- You said we could do it now.

- Yeah, I said give him the hamster now.
Don't tell him that and then take it away from him.

- Peter.
- Your mother's leaving us.

- Peter, don't confuse him.
- We need to be honest.

- I'm being more honest with him than
you are. - Skeet, I'm not leaving you!

- It's OK.
It's OK...

- What's wrong?

- I'm scared.

- What're you scared of?

- They are so loud.

I don't want to have to move.

- What're you doing?

- Sometimes, when I feel threatened,

I gather comfort food and store
it in my cheek pouches.

This way, no matter
where I wake up,

I don't have to go out
and find food.

It's already there.

Already in my mouth.

Are you OK?

- I'm scared too.

- Would you like a pellet?

How about some company?

- Skeet, let go.

Please?

Just--

I'm not leaving you, OK?

You'll be with me
every second week.

I'm sorry.

- Hey.

Hey, hey, come here.

Come here. Look, look, it's OK.

It's OK. We're going to be good.

- What's your name?

- Um... How about...Buffy?

- Ooh! Ow!

Where are you taking me?

- It's totally true.

I swear to God.

Hey, buddy, what's that
on your nails?

- Anna...
- What?

- Oh. my God, see?
- Leave him alone. - What?

- Well, when boys check their nails they're
supposed to hold their hand in a claw, like this.

But if you check your nails from behind it
means you're probably gonna grow up to be gay.

- Jesus, Anna!
- What? It's not a big deal.

- GIVE IT BACK!

- What do you got there, buddy?
What is that?

Boys, he's got a diary!
- Look, Buffy. I think he needs our help.

- Leave me alone!
- Where are you going?

- Leave me alone!
- We want to talk to you!

Just be cool, alright?
- Fuck...

Fuck you!

Back off!

Don't touch me,
I will fucking hurt you.

STOP IT!

- Come on, harder, harder!

- He's crying!

- Do something.
Help him.

- Come on, let's go!
Let's go!

- ...cloudy and wet drizzle
all the way across the island --

nothing too surprising, there.
- A 16-year-old student

has been violently assaulted behind
Bishop Fleming School.

RCMP are reporting that
the hate-crime victim

is paralyzed
from the waist down.

Police are asking anyone with
more information to please

contact Crime Stoppers.
I'm Lisa Wiseman, reporting for...

- Why did they do that to him?

- Hmm? Do what?

- Put a metal rod up his bum.

- What? Jesus!
Where did you hear that?

Uh...

Oof...

Well, he's gay.

That's why I keep telling ya,
you gotta get rid of

this hair, buddy.

You can do it, buddy!

Don't be a wimp!

- Hey, are you gonna
finish this or what?

If we don't make it to fourth
period I'm not going at all.

- Yeah, I'm fine.

Thanks for asking.

- How many more of these
do I have to do?

- Just one more.
- Oh, thank God!

If I have to wash any more
glycerine out of my bra,

you are the one that's going
to be cleaning it.

- Almost done.
Just have to set it.

Close your eyes.
You too.

- Don't tell me what to do!
- Big breath!

- Mm...

Ugh!

- It's good. Just let me get
my camera, then we should go.

- Oh, yeah right.

I'm not the only one going
to school looking like this.

- ...embarrassing number
of unsolicited

nude photos sent between
students at our school.

We understand
that adolescence

is a very fertile time,

so today we're going to discuss
some traditional methods

of showing affection.

- And back... Head back
a little bit more? There we go.

Yeah, that's good.
Play with your hair.

- Like that?
- But...

A little more sexy.
- What?

A little more sexy?
- A little...

- OK, I'm trying! Jesus. OK.

- Should I lose a button?
- No, no, no.

I think we got it.

- Oh yeah? Can I see?

- Mm-hmm. So hot.

- Oh... I'm such a slut. Ah!

Oh! Oh, I almost forgot;

I found us a shithole apartment
in Brooklyn

that's almost
in our price range.

- Oh, that's... That's awesome.
- Yeah.

- Is that a garbage chute?
- Oh, no -- that's a bedroom.

- Oh, OK. Weird.

- Sorry, I don't know why--

- I know we're like-- -
No, it's OK. I'm--

Here, uh...

Come on over and I can
take those off.

Peter!

- Oh hey, Gem, I didn't
see you there.

- ♪♪ Gonna bake
and make your dinner ♪

♪ Could be your cook ♪

♪ You can bring me
home my bacon ♪

♪ Chop the wood ♪

♪ Steal my bed
and steal my heart ♪

♪ Whatever it takes
to get you up ♪

♪ I'm your bitch
You're my bitch ♪

♪ Boom, boom ♪

♪ In my thoughts ♪

♪ And in my soul ♪

♪ Always be in your control ♪

♪ I'm your bitch
You're my bitch ♪

♪ Boom, boom ♪♪

- Customers are confused,
disoriented,

weak-willed, so all you
have to say is,

"That's a nice one."
Just say it with me.

- That's a nice one.

- Do one by yourself.

- That's a nice one.
- Yeah.

You're going to have
to work on that.

OK. So, the second one
is a little bit trickier.

Whatever it is they're holding,
observe the merchandise

and then try to find
some kind of

positive statement
to say about it,

like, "That looks like
a very cooling fan,"

or, "That'll really

compliment your
crown mouldings."

Get it?

- Yeah, I think I get it.

- Good. OK, let's have a go.

- That's a nice one.

It has really good...um, pressure.

- What's the difference
between the two?

- That's...a nice one.

- Fuck...

Hey, can I borrow your shirt?
I forgot mine.

- It might be kind of
sweaty now.

- Do you perspire a lot?

- Not... Not a lot,
I mean, I've just been

moving boxes all day,
so probably more than usual--

- That's alright --
I've worn much worse.

- Yeah. Go ahead.

- Thanks.

- I'm Oscar.
- Me too.

- Ooh, don't look down,

don't look down,
don't look down, don't look down...

- Oscar, listen, I know what
happened last time,

but I really think
it would be a good idea

for me to give the traveling
plastic ball another shot.

- What is that?

- What is what?

- There is something
different about you.

- Nothing different about me.

- Oh, it's, um, an energy thing.
You look, um...

happier.
- I am not happy.

- Oh, my God, Oscar!
You are in love!

- You've been watching too
many soap operas! - Who is it

and when can I meet them?
- I'm not in love, you're insane.

- You can't lie to me, Oscar.

I'm your spirit animal.

- What are you doing?
What are you... Oh!

- Hey. Um, so...

- Oh, amazing, thank you!
- I mean, I don't know...

I can do whatever you want, I didn't know
what you want-- - No this is perfect for my

final shoot with Gemma.
- Yeah?

When does your dear old dad
get to take a look-see?

- Not yet, I have to finish the
branding for the application first.

- OK, alright...

Don't poke your eye out.

And hey! Clean that cage!

- Oh, Oscar, can you
do me a favour?

- Depends...

- Could you please build me one
of these elevators for my cage?

- Are you trying
to escape too?

- The fear factor excites me.

- Mm-hmm.

- Stop!

What are you doing?

- I'm cleaning your cage.
- I can clean it myself.

I'm not a child.

- OK, your highness.

- Did you remember
your camera?

OK, good. Oh, can you do
my headshot

before you cover me in goo?
I want to look

somewhat presentable.
- You can try.

- So who's Yves Saint Laurent
over there?

- Oh he's, um,

some guy from work,

I think his name's Wilder.
Heard he moved here for the summer.

- Oh, figures. Couldn't be from
around here with that jawline.

What's his background? - How am I supposed
to know? I don't know anything about him.

- Thanks for the shirt.

Hi.

- Uh...
He had to borrow my shirt.

- Oh.

Ohh...

- Just turn a little...
- Like this? Yeah.

That?
- You're slaying a sea monster.

- I hate you!
- A sea monster is going to jump

out of that water and you have to kill it!
- Out of that water?

- That's your motivation.
- Like that?

- Yeah... Yes, perfect.

- So is he into you?

- I don't think so.
- I dunno, there was something

about the way that
he was looking at you...

- He was wearing sunglasses.

- You know you should try being
more aloof. I feel like

you're always just
a little bit too eager

when you first meet someone.
It's kind of a turn off.

- Fuck you.
- Just trying to help.

- Oh yeah, camera loves you.

Thanks for doing this.

- Just don't forget me
when you're famous.

So when do you find out about New York?
- Uh, sometime in the next

couple of months I guess?
- OK, good, because

my dad just put down first
and last month's rent

on that flea-bag Brooklyn apartment last
night, and the garbage chute is yours

if you want it. - Fuck you!
No way, that's awesome!

Roommates. Wow.

Do you think you're going to be able to
stop yourself from making out with me?

- Fuck you! NO! No!

No! No more! No more!

No more. No more.

OK, one more.

- What did you get
on your last math test?

100? - Yeah, but it was
just a multiplication test.

- Wow!
- That should go on the fridge.

- Yeah, for sure.
I don't think I ever

got 100 on a math test.

- I'm 18. I don't need
to be tucked in.

- I wasn't gonna ask,
but, um...

- This may seem a bit weird;
do you remember

that fur hat I used to wear
when you were a kid?

- Nope.
- Well, your father says

he couldn't find it
but I know it's there.

It would mean a lot to have it back.
It was Nan's.

I'm sorry. Never mind.

Good night, Skeet.

- Later, klepto.

- Right in...

There we go.

Ugh...

Jesus Christ!

- Come here. Come here,
you little fucker.

OK...

Mm...

- Hey...

- I want you.
- What?

- Your charming, lovable,
handsome father...

- I think someone wants you. -...is waiting
for you at the front of the store.

Oscar Madly please come to the front of the store.
Oscar Madly. - Oh, my God.

- Oscar! Oscar!

Have you seen Oscar?
There he is. Let's go, let's go!

- What do you want? - What? I've been
waiting outside for half an hour!

- I told you I was off at 8:00. - Well, I
can't pick you up at 8:00. I have a date.

- How was I supposed
to know that?

- Because we talked about it.
I told you last night!

- No, you didn't.

- You're going to find
your own way home.

- Fine!

- ♪♪ What do I have to do ♪

♪ To make you forgive me ♪

♪ I wouldn't even
tell the world ♪

♪ If you could hear I'm sorry ♪♪

- Honey, can you pass me the--
- What the--

- WHOA!
- Oh, my God!

Oscar! Sorry. I thought, uh...
I kind of thought

your walk home would
take a little bit longer.

- Do you mind?
- Oh, um...

This is your new mom.

It's not. I'm joking. This is Christine.
- Hi, honey.

- Excuse me, I didn't know
you were having a rave.

- What'd he see?

Is your, uh,

your morn still dating that queer?
- Larry?

Yeah, they're engaged.

- I know stuff about him that'd
make your hair curl.

- He's a nice guy.
- Mm...

I bet he's super nice...

Hey, I'm sorry you two
met like that.

Christine here, she's even
sweeter with her clothes on.

- I feel so bad. That must
have been quite the sight!

- Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

You gotta try these, man.
Come here.

- No thanks.
- Hmm?

No. She made them.
- It's OK. They're a bit overdone anyway.

- I'm just not hungry. - Hey, stop being rude.
Didn't you learn any manners?

- Am I embarrassing you?

- Are you embarrassing me? No.

But, uh, you're embarrassing
yourself a little bit.

- How long can you keep
this act up?

How long before you show up

at her work screaming
at the top of your lungs

like a FUCKING CHILD?
- I should go.

- I'm sorry. It's just a little bit sad.
- Let me save you some time.

He's possessive, has the temper
of a child and is bat shit crazy.

There he is.

- Wow, where did that come from?

- So fucking pathetic.

I can't believe
we share the same genes.

- Well you know, I was born
in a factory farm

to an overweight rodent
who tried to eat me.

It doesn't mean my life
can't be different.

- Oscar?

I'm really sorry.

I had a really
hard week, OK?

I didn't mean to take it
out on you.

- What are you gonna do with
all mom's junk in my closet?

- Huh? What? What are
you talking about?

- Why don't you just give it back to her?
There's no room for any of my shit.

- Well, because it actually
doesn't belong to her.

See, when a couple
gets divorced,

they have to split everything.

Possessions and assets and,
you know, kids, equally.

She took her half.

So technically, like...

Technically, those clothes are mine.
It's very complicated.

You'll understand when you
get divorced someday.

- So what are you going
to do with them?

- Nothing.

- OK.

- Oh! Uh, excuse me?

Sorry...

- What do you want?

- Uh, we're looking for
front doors for our new house.

- We just got married.

- How long are you looking
for it to last?

- Uh... forever? - Oh, no, none of
these are built to last that long.

Locks break down. Some wear
and tear on the hinges.

I'd give that one six,
seven years, tops.

- OK...

Thanks.

- Well, that's a nice one.

- Oh, thank God!
It smells awful in here.

We need to get you
some deodorant.

Wait, what, what, what are you
doing? Don't, don't,

don't, don't, don't!
Argh! No!

Let me out! Let me out! Let me out!
I can't breathe. Let me out!

Let me out! Let me out!

- Hey, how much
for a blow job?

So, who's your hostage?

- It's my hamster.
- Really?

I thought hamsters were only for

fat girls and Asian kids.

- Um... I spent the weekend
at my mom's,

so I'm just, uh, bringing
all my stuff to my dad's place.

- Yeah, my parents
are divorced too.

Uh, what's the word? Empathy.

- Thanks.

- Oh, shit!

- What is it?

- Oh, fuck!
No, no, no! Don't brake!

- Why not?
- No, no, no, she might be under

the brake pedal. Can you check?
- She's not there.

- WATCH OUT!

- Oh, my God. It's not funny.
- It is. I'm sorry.

- Shh... What is that?

No, no, turn it up.

- No way...
- That little fucker

got behind the radio!
- How do we get her out?

Fuck...
- No, don't open the door!

- Why not? - She's going to
jump out and get hit by a car!

- She's a hamster,
not a fucking gazelle.

- Is now really the best time for that?
She's going to electrocute herself!

- What the fuck are you doing?
- Smoking her out.

Get ready to catch her-- - Are you kidding?
You'll kill her with second-hand smoke!

- Come on, man. That's an old
wives tale. Get ready.

- This is the worst idea
I've ever heard.

This is so fucking stupid.

- Still nothing?

- Got her!

- Alright!

Told ya.

- Thanks for the ride.
- Alright.

You need some help?
- No, it's OK.

Dad's not home yet. I don't even
have a key anyway.

- You don't have a key to your
own house? What are you, six?

- Yeah, my dad's afraid that
my mom's going to steal it,

sneak in and rob him.

- Right. So what are you
gonna do?

- I'll probably just hang out
in my tree house. - No way.

You have a tree house?
I need to see this.

- I don't know...

- Yo, this is insane, man.

So you made this?
- With my dad, yeah.

- Let's climb it!
- I don't know...

- Fuck.

- Here.

Thanks.

- Hey.

What's his name?

- Buffy. She's a girl.

- Uh, I hate to break the news,
but this is

totally a boy hamster.

He got balls, check it.

I would have thought
you'd seen enough balls by now

to tell the difference.

Just kidding.

- Um...

Here, give her to me.

- It's him.

This place is wild, man.

What do you do up here?
- Um...

Mostly just come up here
to get away from the house.

- So what are these for?
- It's my, uh,

college application.
- Yeah? Where are you applying?

- Um, there's this awesome

cinema makeup program
in New York.

- Oh, nice! So come on, man,
show me more of your stuff.

- OK, it's...

It's a little weird.

- They're cool.

Anyway, I should
probably get going.

Oh... Sorry.

- You OK?

- I'm fine...

thank you --
although I think I'm going

through a bit of a gender jam.

- Whoa! Watch it, man!

- Oh, I'm sorry, man! I thought
you were my son's girlfriend.

- His girlfriend?

Whoa, watch it! Fuck, man!

- Hey.

How was work?

- Riveting.

- How did you get home?

- I walked.

- With the hamster?

- Yep. With the hamster.

- OK...

- Is that a whale?
- Where? - Right there.

That's called a bad photo.
Let me take that.

- That one?
- Mm-hmm... OK, keep going.

- Mm...
- No!

Not very flattering.

That one's not bad.

No. Definitely not.
- No?

- Actually, go back. Right?
- Yeah.

- Yeah. Yeah.
- OK, just let me clean it up.

- What?

What did you do? That does not
look like me at all.

- I just cleaned up your face.
- No. It's so weird!

- You look great.

- I don't want to sell myself as
something I'm not.

Change it back.
- Everyone uses Photoshop

to make themselves look better.
- But nobody's going to hire me

if I send in that photo
and then show up to an audition

looking like me. - You'd be lucky to have
them bring you in in the first place.

- Excuse me?
- It's New York. There's always

gonna be a thousand girls prettier than you.
I'm just giving you a fighting chance.

- Fuck you!

- Gemma...

Let me just print these off.
- No, I'll get them later. I have rehearsal.

- Hey! Hey, Gem!

You wanna come over for dinner tonight?
I'm making chicken and waffles.

- Oh, sounds delish, but can't.
- So...

Um...

How're things going with
you and Oscar?

- We're...fine.

- I see, I...
Sorry, I'm just, um...

I was wondering... You know.

- If we're together?

Is that what he told you?

- No, of course not.

So, is he...

- Is this really happening
right now?

Your bag's melting.

- ...just visualize
this is going to this hand.

I can do it
just by thinking about it.

Like this...

Here it is.

- Oscar, can I see you
in my office please?

- Sure, I'll just
finish up here,

I'll be right over--
- It's OK, just leave it.

Things have been pretty
slow here lately,

so I'm going to have to let
some people go.

And frankly, you are

without a doubt my most
incompetent employee.

I mean, you don't even fit in,

because you know what you want,
and it's not here.

Oh, I can't bring myself
to fire you,

because I mean, really,
you are a good kid,

so I'm gonna leave it up to you.

If you wanna stay,

be my guest,

but if you think you can find

what you're looking for,

I would suggest that you stop
wasting your time here.

- I think I'm really high.

- OK then... Good.

I think that was good.
I think we...

- OK.
- Yeah, excellent.

- Fuck, man. I can't believe
she fired you, too.

- She didn't, I quit.
- Really? What'd she say?

- She said I didn't
belong here.

- Wow, that's good for you.

What are you doing tonight?

- Um, probably just working on
one of my models.

- Oh, fuck that, man, I'm taking
off to Berlin tomorrow

and my roommate's
having a party.

- You're leaving?
- Yeah. I'm just gonna visit

my cousin for a few months.
- Oh. Awesome.

- Well, you should come.
- To Berlin?

- No. To the party.

And you got to bring a costume,
'cause it's a Friday the 13th

Monster Mash or some shit.
Anyway, you gotta dress up.

See ya.

- Hey.

- You know, you got mail.

- Oscar! What's wrong?

What are you doing? Talk to me!

Are you OK? You're scaring me!

- CAN YOU JUST SHUT UP?
I'm fine!

What do you think?

I'm sorry, I didn't...

I didn't mean it.

- What are you doing?

- Going to a costume party.

- Well those clothes don't
belong to you, so...

- They don't belong
to you, either.

- That's $50 deducted
from your...

...from your education savings
for trying to steal from me.

- You're pathetic.

- You're not going to no
faggot costume party either.

- Hey, man.

That's your costume?
I thought this was your thing.

- This was all I had.

- Don't worry about it.
Yo, Brigitte!

Oscar needs a costume.
- Yeah, no problem, asshole.

- Come on.

- How much do you think it would
cost for a flight to Berlin?

- Why? Do I look like
a travel agent?

- Wilder just bought a ticket

so I thought you might know.
- Is that what he told you?

He's not going to Europe.

He's driving back to Montreal
to live with his parents.

Oh...

Thank you.

- Want to give me
a hand with this?

- Wilder! This party's so fun!

There's so many
cool people here!

Oh, my God, I can't believe how
dorky I sound. I'm such an idiot!

- I'm glad someone's
having fun, man.

- You're so nice. That must be
why you have so many friends.

- Actually, I have no idea who
most of these assholes are.

- Yeah, that's so cool.

- Stay right here.

- Wilder!

What's that on your nails?

- Where?

- It's gone.

- Alright.

- This is your wingman
for the night.

- Thanks.
- Hey, Wilder!

- Oh, can you hold on?

What are you doing here?

- Same as you.

- So, you didn't happen to tell
Peter that we were

dating, did you? Because he
seemed to think that we were--

- Why would I ever say that?

- What's with you?

Your pupils are huge.

Are you high?

- I gotta go find someone.
I'll talk to you soon.

- ♪♪ We were born to be alone
Everybody all alone ♪

♪ Born alone to be alone
We'll stand alone forever ♪

♪ Standing on the world alone,
learning how to stand alone ♪

- You look like shit.

- Thanks.

- I'm Andrew.

- Hi.

- I'm sorry.
I'm here with someone.

- Who?

I don't think he'll mind.

- ♪ There is nothing left here
to worry about ♪

♪ We are on the ground ♪

♪ We are in the clouds ♪

♪ The world is spinning 'round ♪

♪ There is nothing left here
to worry about ♪

♪ We are on the ground ♪

♪ Or floating on the water
or up in the clouds ♪

♪ Everybody all alone ♪

♪ Born alone to be alone
We'll stand alone forever ♪

♪ Standing on the world alone,
learning how to stand alone ♪

♪ And always to be alone
We'll be alone forever ♪

♪ We will always be alone
Everybody all alone ♪

♪ Born alone to be alone
We'll stand alone forever ♪

- Hey!

♪ Learning how to stand alone
And always to be alone ♪

♪ We'll be alone forever ♪

- ♪ There is nothing left here
to worry about ♪

♪ We are on the ground ♪

♪ We are in the clouds ♪

♪ The world is spinning 'round ♪

♪ We are on the ground ♪

♪ Or floating on the water ♪

♪ Or up in the clouds ♪

♪ Everybody all alone
Born alone to be alone ♪

♪ We'll stand alone forever ♪

♪ Standing on the world alone,
learning how to stand alone ♪

♪ And always to be alone
We'll be alone forever ♪

♪ We were born to be alone
Everybody all alone ♪♪

- Hey, man.

Wake up.

Better out than in.

Here you go. Drink a bit.

You OK?

- Mm-hmm.

- Let's get you home.
- No, I can't.

I can't go home.
- Well this place just

got busted, so you can't
stay here either.

Come on.

- You should take that off.

- What are you thinking about?

- Thinking about how

I had to kick my dad
into a closet

to go to that party tonight.

- If you don't hate your parents
you'll eventually become them.

- Please, don't kiss me.

I just had the worst day
of my life

and my mouth
tastes like vomit and...

...I don't want to ruin this.

- I was just
grabbing some water.

- How long have you been out?

- I'm too embarrassed to talk
right now. Can you just leave?

- Come on, don't be like that.

This doesn't have
to be awkward.

- It's too late for that.

- Seriously, since when
have you known?

- I don't.

- What do you mean?

- I don't know.

- Have you ever kissed a guy?

- I've done some stuff, but...

- But have you kissed?

- Do you want to?

- What?
- Do you want to know?

- I don't know
how to answer that.

- If I, a fellow dude,
kiss you

and you feel something
moving around in your stomach,

then maybe you'll know.

If not, then...

- My stomach feels
like it's on fire.

- So...
Did you feel anything?

- I don't know...

- I certainly felt something.

- Jesus, Oscar!

What are you doing?
- Sorry to impose.

- Oh, shit...
- What's going on, Skeet?

Oscar?

- Am I a bad person?

- What are you talking about?

- I don't understand why

I feel so alone.

- You're never alone, Oscar.

- That's rich, coming from you.

- What do you mean?
- You gave up

and abandoned me
and now I'm all fucked up.

- That's not fair.
- You have a new life.

A new family.

I have nothing.

Literally, nothing.

- I'm so sorry,

Oscar.

I wish...

...I could have been
there for you.

I made some really hard choices.

But I was dying in that house.
You know that more than anyone.

You know,

when you were born,

you came out with
the umbilical cord

wrapped around your neck
three times.

You almost hung yourself.
I was so scared.

- That's disgusting.

- My point is,

you've never had it easy,

and maybe you never will.

If you are forced
to walk through shit

then you might as well grow
a thick skin.

- Thanks for all the imagery.

- Skeet, you smell awful.

- Why do I always crave pancakes when
every time I eat them, they make me feel

like shit?

- Most things are like that
as you get older.

Your father's going to be
worried about you, you know.

- No, he's not.

- I have to go to Peter's.

- Oscar, shouldn't you
eat first?

- Where's Buffy?

- I'm going to live with Mom.

- I'm really sorry...
- Don't.

- Do you have any idea why
everyone you love leaves you?

- Oscar, get in the car.

Oscar, get in the car.

What is wrong with you, Peter?
- It was an accident.

- IT WAS AN ACCIDENT?
- IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!

- How's this a fucking accident?
- GET THE FUCK OFF MY LAND!

This is MY house. - He's a kid! He's a kid!
You killed a fucking hamster?

He's a child, Peter!
- I'm going to call the cops

and tell them that
a FUCKING WHORE is on my lawn,

and they're going to cart you away.
YOU LEFT! YOU LEFT! - Yes, I left!

- So leave!
- How could anyone

stay with you?
- YOU LEFT!

- Go back to your fucking queer
husband and your fucking life!

I'm his dad. Where are you?
- This is how you take care of him?

- You left us both, so leave! - This is
how you take care of him? Look at him!

Look at him. He's a child. He's just
a boy! You can't-- - He's my child.

- You may be his dad, but you
will never be his fucking father.

That would be great.

Yeah...

Hey!

I don't want
that sweaty face cloth

dripping all over
my new sheets.

- Who let the Brady Bunch
into my room?

- Be nice. Larry and the kids

have been looking after you all day.

- OK, guys,
let's go get Oscar

something to eat.

- You have a fever because you've
been completely burning up.

- I'm never going to
get out of here am I?

- What are you
talking about?

- I got rejected
from Joe Blasco

and I never applied
anywhere else

because I am
a stubborn idiot.

- I'm so sorry.

There's always
the makeup diploma

here at Memorial.

- It's not even
about the school,

I just need to
get out of here.

- What about Fogo?

- Community college?

- It's not a community college,
it's an artist residence.

It's not New York,

but at least you'd be
getting away

from your crazy parents.

Just think about it. OK?

- Mom?

What happened to my stuff?

- Whatever was in the driveway,

I threw in the back seat
of the car.

- And Buffy?

So it's official:
I'm an asshole.

- That explains
the new bike, then.

- So...

It's not New York,
but what do you think?

- I think you look happy.

- I hope you don't
get eaten by a seagull.

- I'm just happy you're not
gonna set me on fire.

- But you know I'm not

the original hamster from your
childhood right?

I mean, it has been 10 years.

Your parents replaced me,
like, 4 times.

- What was that?

- Oh, nothing.

Goodbye.

- Can I have a dream, dad?

- Come on,

you're too old for that now.

It's time for you to start
making your own dreams.

You can have anything you want
in this world.

Just close your eyes.

I love you, son.

I'm so, so proud of you.