Chao ji wu di zhui nu zai 2 zhi gou zai xiong xin (1997) - full transcript
Open the door!
You come out.
Fatty, is this Gossip Magazine?
Yes, it's here.
Fat Lai, come out!
What's special with Paparazzi?
I'll chop you up if you don't come out at once!
It's milk tea, dare you drink it?
Mr. Lai
What's hey? I am Mr. Lai.
Morning, Mr. Lai.
Sit down and work, it's no longer morning.
An apple a day, keeps my chopper away.
These jerks want to find me trouble?
They're nuts.
Morning, Mr. Lai
The informant who has appointment
with you is waiting in your room.
Informant?
It's said you have gossip to
inform our Paparazzi?
Right.
What gossip? What's so special?
The queen singer Sammi...
is living together with Eken secretly.
Everyone knows this already.
But on one knows where they live.
I've got their address and telephone number.
I even know their Filipino
maid is called Maria.
Where do they live secretly then?
It's here!
Such strong magnetic?!
You nuts! You think you can attack me this way?
Hundreds of people like you
have always tried to kill me.
You stupid, sly, dirty fatty jerk...
Goodbye.
Boss.
It doesn't work!
We should show our card,
we should be captain of this mission.
You can't even spell this correctly!
Arnold Shwazenegger?
I say, I am Amold Schwazenegner!
Oh! Honey, I really love you, honey...
Wait!
What's it?
Don't you think we're really a bit too much?
What too much? You haven't husband
and I haven't wife. Go ahead.
No, I've said already...
I find we're really a bit too much.
What too much? We've known for a week already.
Look at me, I've taken a condom with me.
Why do you say it's too much?
Come, let's go on.
What again?
Okay, go and ask her if we're too much.
She?
Yes, Sir, I find you two are a bit too much.
I just can't help myself,
I can't wait to be home.
I won't ever walk a furniture store
with you in future.
Hello? Yes...boss, I'll be right back.
I'll accompany you later.
Jerk!
Hey, overloaded, go out.
No, why me?
Where's boss?
Stand in front of the X-ray plate.
X-ray?
Okay, you may go inside.
Boss.
Long time no see!
Boss, what is this?
This is the invisible bullet-proof glass
which I've just ordered.
Is it O.K.? I especially call
you come back to try it.
It's mighty.
Is it?
What's it for boss?
I fear someone will assassinate me.
Don't you always say:
An apple a day, keeps my choppers away.
It's just my slogan.
Nonsense, I have a mission for you.
What mission?
Cover of our next issue...
I want photo of Sammi and Eken
wearing pyjamas, in their love-house.
It's easy to make one with computer.
I want genuine ones.
Wow.
Boss, for the snake of Gossip Magazine...
I'll make my efforts to
take this photo for you!
Good guy! What help do you want?
Stallone and Jacky Chan.
Nuts!
If no, then send Delon and Fat Lung to help me.
No.
I find two members in our Paparazzi
have been laying off.
They just take the salary and do nothing.
How come there are two lay-off
under your leading?
Ng Ahn Lok, Black Wong and Black Ching?
How come? Where are they?
Ng Ahn Lok, dare you still come for Cici?
I really love Cici.
Aunt, let me beg her one more time.
I really hope she will change her mind
and come back to me.
Don't you find it's a bit late?
No, it's not late at all.
But I really find you're a bit late.
I'm really late?
Yes, go away.
Who are you?
I come to pick up my bride, be smart.
Don't get in the way.
Open the door, quick...
Want us to open the door? Pay us$99,999.
So much?! $99,999?
We'll only pay $999.
We won't open if you pay us only $999.
They won't open the door.
Okay, let's leave then.
Don't go...is it $99,999?
$99,999, I'll pay...
I'll pay...open the door!
Open the door!...
$99,9997? Are you lunatic?
Cici, don't marry him!
Give me one more chance, O.K.?
Cicil...
Cici are you happy today?
Yes, I'm happy.
Cici, I must talk to you!
Ng Ahn Lok, are you nuts?
We've parted for 2 years already.
Today is my wedding, can't you spare me?
Cici, I really love you.
Groom, you're a good guy, help me convince her.
Don't you find your request a bit too much?
Of course not too much.
I loved her secreted for 7 years,
I then court her 7 years,
but I had only dated her for 7 weeks.
Why don't you stop the wedding today
and give me a chance?
Ng Ahn Lok, I know you're a good guy,
but it's too late.
I am of course a good guy,
otherwise at the camping I would have.
Thanks God...
I fear you, please go away at once.
Thank God, bless that I won't see him again.
Do you Mr. Wong Wai Man?
Hello?
Your call.
Hello?
Cici, I'm waiting for you outside the church.
You jerk?
What do you want? You're hindering
their wedding, you want to die?
You come to mess around at my wedding.
I must teach you a lesson.
Go to hell! You know who I am?
Cici, don't!...
Don't stop me!
Drag her away!
Okay, I fear you.
I'll let her think about you for the
first minute when we sleep tonight.
Okay?
No need for one minute,
it's just takes me 30 seconds usually.
Wait.
Hello?
Captain Arnold Schwazenegner,
yes, there's a mission!
Good!...
It's about Cancer...
Astrology says I'm of Cancer,
I'll be in bad luck today.
I'll got hit if I go out or
go bankrupt if I invest.
Your girlfriend will dump you,
your father desert you.
You'll plunge into sea if you drive.
Really so unlucky?
Watch out...
Sorry.
Hello.
Black Ching, you have a mission,
come back to the office.
Brother Ner, astrology says
I am in really bad luck today.
I'll be killed if I come back to work.
It can't be! It's said you
have a date with a girl.
You know that?
Right, I've an appointment with a line-friend.
Brother Ner, it's taken my ages to
ask her out, she's called Hen-hen.
I've court her for a long time, I must have...
God to worship at a temple, and come back soon.
Okay...
Don't ever think I'll go back to the office.
I must follow her.
Hey...
It's a narrow escape.
I'm lucky, that big wardrobe didn't hurt me.
I'm not that really unlucky.
Madam, wait!
I'm in lucky, I managed to throwing it
into the slot.
You're Black Ching?
How come you know?
I've been looking for you everywhere.
Only you deserve to be called Black Ching.
You're Hen-hen?
Yes, I've been waiting hard for this day.
Where shall we do?
To your place.
What shall we do?
Just do...whatever you want to.
But I sleep on the upper deck of a bunk bed.
It's alright, I've a 6" X7' super
water bed at home.
Ga...ga...
It's extravagant? Okay.
Let me have a look...
Come on.
The power of 6' X 7!
Come on, Baby!
It's hot!
Quick!
I'll buy some cigarettes.
Excuse me, a packet of Mariporo.
Yes, terrific!
What is it?...
Ladies and Gentlemen.
This gentleman is the lucky 1st billion
customer of Maripolo Cigarettes.
He will be presented with our Centennial Prize.
The prize is HK 1 billion!
Wow!
You're great!
I've mad a fortune!
I'm not dreaming!...
I'm not dreaming...
You're dreaming!
Oh!...
What is going on?
The fallen wardrobe hit on his head.
He's nonsensical and says he's won a prize.
Black Ching...
It's Black Ching.
He's so poor.
It's me, Hen-hen.
You're Hen-hen.
Who else deserves to have my great name
as Hen-hen?
Oh! I'm really in bad luck today!
Help!
Don't run! Stop!
Ching Ching...
No! Help me! I've faint!
You've fainted? Don't panic,
I'll give you artificial respiration.
Monster! Jesus!
Thank you.
Thank you.
Mail a letter, get a mouse, Yes!
Black Ching calling Brother Ner.
Black Ching calling Brother Ner.
Roger, what is it?
Sammi hasn't arrived home yet,
the window are dark.
Nothing yet.
Go on watching, drill.
What are you doing here?
Of course I'm doing important things,
mind you own business.
Nice handmade?
Don't you find it's nonsense?
It's more nonsense at this hour to peep
and see if others are living together.
You're right.
Help yourselves!
Please eat more, help yourselves.
Shall we remind her?
Though she's married already,
but I still care so much about her.
Cheers!
Drink more tonight.
Hello?
He's not yet dead?
Hello?
Cici, making love at the first time does hurt.
But...you must endure it
and behave as a fair lady.
Why don't you go to hell?
Sorry for not serving you well.
Sorry for not serving you well.
Calling Brother Ner, I see Sammi's car,
she's back already.
They are back,
it seem like there are two people.
Act now.
You must do all you can...
and do your utmost to take 2 photos of her.
Okay?
I can't take photo with that hood on.
There's Paparazzil!
Get upstairs at once!
Is there a postman?!
Pan A fails, use Plan B...
Eken, you've put on a lot of weight lately.
Have l1? I don't feel so.
It's bad, now the Paparazzi knows
that we're living here.
Shall we move away?
Nuts! Wherever we move,
people will remarks behind us.
We only need to be more careful.
I'm hungry, I'll cook some noodle.
Calling Black Ching, get ready a van.
Finding...no one tell me where it is.
No, it's hurts, gently please!
I want it! Why not?
Wait...
Hello.
Groom, it's me.
If you really love Cici,
you must wear a condom.
Aids has a potential period of 7 years.
You don't even know
whether you're a virus carrier.
My God! Will you please spare me?
I do care about you.
Don't shout rude remarks to me.
You not only curse my mother,
you're cursing Cici already.
Go on working!
Brother Ner, I want to die,
please cut the rope for me.
You needn't go through this trouble.
I'll leave you after taking the photos,
and they'll kill you instantly.
Right.
Don't move! Stay there!
What's on?
How come there're 2 love marks on your neck?
Are there? No!...
Where did you court girls?
No, I didn't, it's mosquito bite only.
I say you were bitten by Chick!.
Let me go!
I've 100% feeling to you,
but you take me as 100% ignorant?
The worst is that you have more than
100 darlings.
It's enough, I'll fight black now!
It's evil!
Two Dragons Snatching Beads?
Enchanted Lock?
Mighty Revolver?
Honey...My hear Eken, are you okay?
I didn't mean it.
It's great! Come on honey.
Again?
It's lucky I didn't get injured.
Brother Ner, you're alright?
I'm fine.
It's fine in the front, but something seems
to hurt my back.
Wow! Dinosaur?!
No...
Love fight ends at love bite.
Go in and take photos.
Hey, no parking here.
Drive away.
Harder please.
I must catch you, you can't run away!
Stop running!
Okay, you may jump!
Don't drive away!
How come you speak so slowly?
Brother Ner, does it hurt?
My back is alright, but my front part aches.
Brother Ner, are you alright?
What a stupid question,
of course there is something!
Pheasant, I'll get downstairs in 1 minute.
I'll chop two guys with
gold paint all the body.
You needn't chop, they've gone away!
What's tat noise?
Throw it away!
Black Ching...
He's over there!
Cop him!
Stop running!
None of my business.
Stop running...
Stop running! Stop!
"Sold out”
This issue has broken a record again.
Boss, congratulations.
We must fight on,
we must reveal another secret.
What news?
The number one rich tycoon in HK, Mr. Li...
is a strict father,
and doesn't live a public life.
But I've got information that his son,
Li Chak Hoi...
is courting a member of a girl band,
The Sweeties.
He's courting Candy of The Sweeties.
All the 4 girls are pretty.
I know those 4 girls, they're singing
on a luxurious cruiser.
Li Chak Hoi will be fooling
with Candy on board.
Let's get aboard and take their photos.
But there is one thing I don't understand.
What is it, Boss?
I've checked the accounts of Candy
and the other 3 girls.
I've also checked Estate Department,
they have no savings or properties.
They have no reason not to get a lump sum
from the guy they seduce.
Maybe they talk of real love, and not of money.
Stupid.
Don't complain I never treat you with cake.
Thank Boss at once.
Thanks, Boss.
Good.
What's happened to you again?
I've got dumped again.
You feel down, and want to die?
What can I be of help to you?
Just let me die.
It's simple.
Young man, sit down and talk.
Wait for me.
Take it for me.
Okay.
Not like this, but upside down.
Take it and you will die horribly.
Why?
"Fat Lai is great!"
Open the door...
Fat Lai, you're smart!
Beat him!
It's 10 seconds, enough.
Help!
How is it? Do you still want to die?
I don't now.
You needn't fear not to have girlfriends.
There're lots of girls waiting for you
on board the ship.
I fear I'll scare them.
Eat the cake, don't waste it.
We can eat now.
It smells good, I'll eat first.
So much crab grease!
Sister Cookie, you know how to choose crabs.
Sure, after buying the crabs,
I've fed them with egg.
We'll be performing on board the ship tomorrow.
We must eat more tonight to help us
sing better tomorrow.
We always sing with our perfect voice.
Our albums will sell a double
platinum for sure.
You mean we have a chance
to get the award of Best Band?
Therefore we must work harder.
We mustn't waste time to court men.
No, I haven't court men for a long time.
Why so nervous? I was not talking about you.
You...you are looking at me.
No, I am not looking at you,
you have something in mind?
No, I am not...
A guy have been sending
flowers to you recently.
Who is he?
No, there is no such a guy...
I tell you, no men are good.
We've just made a little fame.
If Paparazzi takes photos
of you and that guy...
they'll make up stories that you date
and sleep together.
They will even say you will soon
give birth to a baby.
Don't worry, Sister Cookie.
We'll help you watch her.
I've told you, Sister Cookie
learns of this now.
Hoi is really a good man.
Though he only has a common job.
I think he'll have brilliant future.
Hello? You're down there?
Okay, I'll come down at once.
Don't you fear Sister Cookie learns of this?
Don't be like this, we're buddies, help me out.
I beg you, please...
You're the perfect example
of a sacrificing woman.
Good sister, goodbye.
Hoi.
Candy
This is for you.
Thanks.
You're getting on board the cruiser tomorrow?
We can't meet each other for a fortnight again.
I have to work.
It's alright, as long as you behave well.
I promise you, I'll look for you
after I finish work.
Hoi, we must both work hard.
If you have a better career, I needn't sing on.
Do you agree?
I'm to blame, I am useless.
No, every young man has no money...
except those who are born
with a silver spoon in their mouth.
I believe you'll surely
have a brilliant future.
It's lucky we disguise smartly.
Right.
How come Candy hasn't come back yet?
You really disguise smartly.
Hoi, I got to go.
So soon? Let's chat for another 1 minute.
No, Sister Cookie will come and check us.
That Sister Cookie is old-fashioned.
She's a monster.
You're an adult, why must she interfere
with your love?
Thank you.
Right, walk out of the street
and you can get a taxi.
Thanks you're so nice.
You're lost, so I must help you.
I'll come for you again next time
when I'm lost.
Sure, goodbye.
Sister Cookie.
Who is he?
He...he asked for direction.
Why are you here at this hour?
I've dropped an earring
so I came down and looked for it.
You've dropped many earrings already.
Did that man want to woo you.
Man? No.
The man who asked you for direction.
No, there was nobody.
I only came down pick up my earring.
You're nuts? The man who has just walked away.
No one at all.
No, there's not a single man in this street.
Sister Cookie,
didn't you see a psychologist recently?
Did he say anything wrong about you?
I've been looking for my earring
for ten minutes...
I really didn't see a single man at all.
Really no?
No, there is no.
Right there's no man at all.
No.
Sister Cookie, I think...
you haven't dated for ages.
Maybe you have a little mental problem.
Okay, I'll accompany you
to see a doctor tomorrow.
Don't say so much tonight, let's sleep early.
There was really no man here?
No, really no, why don't you trust me?
Your hands are cold,
no wonder you have illusion, poor you.
Go up and take a rest.
I'm not very cold?
You're very cold.
Drive me back to Repulse Bay.
Yes, Young Master.
Why do you ask me to park so far away?
I don't want her to learn of my real identity.
So you want to test her?
I want to see if a poor Li Chak Hoi
can win her heart.
Right, book a ticket for Love Cruise
for me tomorrow.
I want to give her a surprise.
Yes, Young Master.
Is this The Sweeties? Isn't it?
Yes, we come to give a show,
remember to come to our consult.
I tell you, those who come
on board are families.
So you'd better not flirt, understand?
Do you understand?
Yes, I do.
Yes.
Captain.
This is Master Li.
Master Li, nice to meet you!
Don't let other know.
Out Master was once kidnapped years ago.
Therefore he doesn't want others
to know his identity now.
I understand.
You don't want others to know
you're son of Tycoon Li.
No problem, you can count on me.
Listen to this, my crew.
Mr. Li's son is on board.
He doesn't want anyone to know this.
If you dare tell others,
you'll be fired at once!
No problem, Master Li.
Okay.
Hello, The Sweeties.
Hello, The Sweeties, let me introduce myself.
I am Leon.
In Hollywood of USA...
there's an agent company next door
to Spiebel's company.
And I'm the Director of that company.
Let me present you my name card.
You have lots of titles.
Thank you.
Only one title.
What title?
The famous horny molester!
I always see Clinton and Zhiang Zhemin.
Do you? Where?
At TV.
I must woo you, and when I succeed...
I must make you suffer and beg me.
I must rape you and then kill you!
Rape and kill, rape and kill!
Darn it!
What are you doing? What do you want?
Still shooting? Stop!
I must take your photo and show to those girls.
No, I'll let you rape them after I finish.
I've recorder what you've just said as well.
- Dare you?
- Go away!
Hold it! Look at my muscles,
you mustn't act rashly.
Sorry...
Friend...
Happy...
Do whatever you want...
Boss, staff of Gossip Magazine have come too.
Don't worry, Boss, we'll get rid of them.
Anyway, you must make sure that the news...
Tycoon Li's son wooing a girl becomes
the headline in our Occidental Week.
At that time, Fat Lai must close his business.
It's a deal.
Why are you smiling wickedly?
We're not wicked.
Right, flirt more.
Arnold Schwazenegner,
you must close business now.
Go and collect new now.
You're stupid, you soaked the camera.
Don't snatch.
Let me do it...Miss you magazine.
Thanks.
You two look familiar.
Are you agent of Hollywood also?
Of course not.
I'm just an ordinary hard working young man.
Every year I only have 30 meetings
and buy about 7, 8 pieces of land.
I buy a bank sometimes, I'm pretty busy.
Look, I set my phone to vibrate.
Hello, speaking, I'm on holiday.
What? Just a few hundred points?
It only means $20 to $30 million.
Stop it, stop the buying.
Don't call me up again, I'll switch it off.
You are a broker.
Miss.
Sir, what's your name?
I'm called Ner Swa.
My English is Arnold Schwazenegner.
Do you have a name card?
Everyone in the stock market knows me.
I needn't carry name cards with me.
It's good if Hoi get rich like him.
Miss, you're singer?
Yes, our band is called The Sweeties
It means sweet.
I've heard it, many rich men
want to woo that band.
No, how come?
Want to seduce our captain?
Our captain always get cruel
whenever he sees a woman.
How many times have I told
you not to mention women at me.
Sorry, sorry...
Not woman, I mean bad person...
Beat it! You get on my nerves!
What exactly am I doing here?
It reminds of my sad romance,
I can't forget Cici either.
No way, Cici doesn't know
where I keep my bank passbook.
She doesn't know where I keep my insurance
policy either. I mustn't die.
Write her a letter before you kill yourself.
This will put you in the safe side.
What do you two mean?
Why are you dressed so sexily?
Men will love that, go cover yourselves up.
Cover yourselves properly.
My big sister is coming, go away at once.
What is your room number?
I'll come to see you tonight.
Sister Cookie.
Who is he?
He...is a doctor.
I find I have sore throat,
so I asked advice from him.
Let me tell you, we come to sing,
not to woo men.
Don't make yourself a dirty bitch.
I know.
What is it? It's old-fashioned.
Cici, I'm dying.
But you must put on a quilt when you sleep.
The PIN to my bank is 1218,
and that's your birthday.
I keep my insurance policy in the left closet.
Your husband seems to be irritable.
Remember to prepare herbal tea for him.
I hope you will have a son and daughter.
If they can't enter La Salle or Moarynold,
call my foster dad, Father Williams
and ask him to help you.
From, Ng Ahn Lok, the one
who forever loves you.
He's a love machine.
Miss...
You mustn't die, you're good man.
You will surely find a better girl that Cici.
Yes, I'm a man of failure.
My sisters say you're a good guy, nuts.
Do they? Thanks.
I'm called Ng Ahn Lok.
I know, I'm Jelly.
How are you?
Are you free tonight?
Come to our concert then.
Yes, of course I am free.
I will definitely come.
You don't need this, throw it away.
The soapsuds.
"Oh, Candy, I am but a fool."
"Darling, I love you."
"Won't you treat me cruel."
You must die this time.
What do you mean?
It's bad!
That Jelly is really pretty.
Cherry is good too.
You're bad.
You're very horny.
Hello?...
I'm in trouble, come fast!
Brother Ner, what are you thinking about?
The way you think is a novice.
What are you think is more novice!
I got fooled by others!
We're stuck, help pull us apart!
Who is it?
It's me, Candy.
Hold the door.
May I come in?
It's...not convenient.
Don't we have an appointment?
Yes, we have an appointment...
I never know men also have inconvenient period.
I know, you have a woman there.
Okay then, I'll leave.
No...please wait a while.
To tell you the truth, I'm naked,
give me 10 seconds.
I think you must have a woman inside.
It's Incredible.
Right, I'm teaching them top level yoga,
I fear it'll scare you.
You're smart, you really are smart.
Look, I can practice this way too.
You're really competent!
If there's time, I can teach you
how to control your muscle.
Can ll learn?
Sure.
What if you come to my concert tonight?
Okay.
You are competent.
You know how to make money, yoga,
you're cute...
Don't kiss me!
It's bad, It's harder to part now.
Nuts! How can I sing tonight?
It's bad.
Candy
Hoi.
Why are you lips so thick?
I'm allergic to lipstick...
How come you're here?
I was going to give you a surprise.
After I get on board, I find you're familiar
with Ner Swa.
I then know you're good not only to me.
No...I am not...
I saw it myself.
Listen to me...
I feel uneasy as you work so hard.
That's why I want to meet some rich men.
I hope this can help you in your career.
I really mean good by doing so.
You're silly.
I wouldn't be happy if I made a fortune
with your help.
Hoi, I promise you.
I will not do this anymore.
Don't be angry with me, okay?
Shall I tell her my real identity?
Not now, maybe a few days later.
It's alright, I am not angry anymore.
What if you come to see my concert?
There're game too, okay?
Don't you fear Sister Cookie see me?
No, she is justice person.
All audience are bosses during a performance.
See you then.
It's you, pretty girl!
Man, you're very heavy.
If not, I wouldn't pay you $100.
Right.
You agree too?
How are you?
Don't force yourself if you can't.
Mind out you get hurt.
She cares about me!
Say, does she love me?
You want a candid opinion or not?
No.
I'll say, I believe
she is not interested in you.
And...?
The candid opinion is...
Pee on the ground look at yourself there,
darned fool!
It's my own business, don't call me a fool.
Don't run.
What?
I'm horrible, don't stir me up!
I can defeat the 20 of you with me alone!
You'd better go away.
I'm very furious?
How are you?
I'm fine, don't worry.
Their fists hurt more than I do.
You'd better have mercy on their fists.
I'm fine, but their fists hurt very much!
Stop beating him.
She's crying for me!
She's crying for me!
I underestimated you.
Sorry, darned fool.
You people again?
Why? You aren't convinced?
Maybe I'm not as competent as you in fighting.
But you're not up to me when talking
about wooing girls.
Right, wooing girls is our weak point.
We can only woo around 20 girls a day.
What to bet?
Okay!
Let's bet $50,000, we'll see who manages
to kiss those 4 girls first.
It's difficult...
You dare not?
So poor, this $50,000 is so hard to win.
Okay! Let's bet $100,000!
Good!...
Dear audience, it is our game time now.
We'll first draw two audiences out.
The first is Mr. Ner Swa.
Here, here!
I'm always luckier than you, guy!
And now the second one.
Let me draw the name...
Mr. Li Tal Ho.
Mr. Li Tai Hoi, where are you?
You only lose half if you surrender now,
will you?
You deserve this.
The winner of tonight Happy Card game...
will receive a 1,600 c.c. sedan.
I don't want this car.
I only want any of you four to give me a kiss.
This doctor is really horny.
A little bit.
Guy, if I win, I'll give you the car as well.
Hold it, if you lose,
you must eat Hot Hot Sushi.
You may add wasabi on them now.
The first card is 3.
You bet higher or lower?
Higher!
Higher!
This one is 10.
Your turn.
I want a lower one, please.
Ilt'sa 7.
Your turn again.
You have luck.
It may be a 9, a7, or a Queen, what shall I do?
Higher...
Why?
Because it's hard to give hints of lower.
Higher!
It's a Queen!
What can you do?
May be it's higher? Lower!
He said a higher one, a higher one.
What lower? It's higher.
It's a King.
Hurrah!
Good! You'll get dumped out.
It seems to be a 4, a lower one.
I'll add more wasabi.
Win at once, lower!
It's an Ace.
This is the lower card.
It's a 3.
You're lucky, let's play next time.
Hey...
What do you mean?
You can go after you eat the Hot Hot Sushi
No, I was just saying...
It's very hot!
Brother Ner, you shouldn't be so much.
You put so much wasabi on
and now you have to eat it yourself.
Darn you! You made mistakes
when you gave me the hints.
No one can get this $100,000 here, it's bad!
Guy, don't be so cocky.
You can't beat me when we bet on kissing
girls, let's bet on something else.
I'll bet with you for anything.
Okay, Big2, $3000 for a card,
extra to will be added if you lost.
So little!
You agree? Let's begin.
Brother Ner, no, it's $3000 a card.
I won't bet on $30 a card, and even I don't
have enough money for $300 a card
let alone $3000 a card... right?
- Right, let's go!
- Beat him!
What are you playing?
Nothing, just Big 2.
Guy, our stake is big.
Don't come if you have no money.
I'm only looking.
Mind he blames you of causing him to lose.
Okay, just one game to decide who wins.
The loser not only loses money...
he must also run nakedly from stern to stem.
Sure.
May I retreat now?
It's too late.
I'm not that unlucky?
Drop it...1 can't pick It.
What card is it?
It seems to be Spade 3.
Okay, I'll pick it up for you.
Take it.
Thanks, boss, thanks.
According to the rules, Diamond 3 throw first.
Four 3's, have you got them?
No.
No.
Four 4's, have you?
No.
No.
A pair of 5.
Another one.
All cards out.
I've won you of 3-folds!
Each of you have 52 cards, and 10 extra,
making a total of 62 cards...
Each card is $3,000, that means $186,000.
Thanks!
They two don't need to pay?
We'll pay when we're back the room!
Pay me.
I only have $100,000 here, I own you $86,000.
Owe me? No way!
Didn't you say the loser must run nakedly
from stem to stern?
Take off your trousers.
You bully me.
Take off your trousers! Yeah!
Well...
You all have girls to hold, I have on one!
Brother Ner, this is my boyfriend,
so I can't accept your court.
I'm more handsome than him, you're stupid.
As you're so handsome,
I don't have sense of security.
I should have plastic surgery
to make myself less handsome.
Kid, you're smart.
Something's wrong with Brother Ner,
take a look at him.
Let me die...
Let me die...l must die for Candy...
You get dumped by girls a hundred times
a year, how many times?
Lok, come here, Brother Ner
says he must commit suicide.
Let me die, let me die for Candy.
You mustn't die!
Buddy, you're really my good brother.
When I am down, you care so much about me.
Brother Ner, we're good buddies.
Brother Ner, you mustn't die.
You owe me $30,000, you haven't
paid me back yet, don't die...
You jerk! Give me a knife...
No, you still owe me money!
I won't give it to you...
Brother Ner, you mustn't die.
Brother Ner, I keep saying to die,
but I don't die.
Of course, you have Jelly now.
No, I don't!
You mean it.
Have you finished?
This world is very unfair.
Those who want to die survive...
but those who don't want to die get injured.
It's bad! Does it hurt?
You say?
Don't move...
Brother Ner, look, he lets
the knife stay on his body.
How painful it is!
If he's careless...
Suddenly if he's careless again...
Look, he'll become like this.
Brother Ner, dare you punch the knife
into you chest again?
It's really very painful.
I'll ask the doctor to help.
Help me to pull out the knife.
Brother Ner, I want doctor's consult at too!
Wait for me, Brother Ner, wait!...
Is the doctor at the stem or at the stern?
At the stern.
Did that knife punch the part again?
No, that knife punch other part this time!
You're ill?
Don't come to me if you have only a cold.
You needn't come to me if you have
cancer of Aids, I can't help you.
I can't even handle serious illness.
If you are slightly, ill,
drink some water and take a rest.
I want to die peacefully.
I don't have the guts to murder,
I don't have the skill to rescue.
But since you're now half dead, I can cure you.
I don't want you to cure me,
I just want to die peacefully.
I fear pain, what do you suggest?
Let me give you a strong dosage of anesthetic.
Anesthetic will work? Come on, quick...
Where do you want to be injected?
Isn't it to be injected on the bottoms?
Wow! Such a big syringe?
It will hurt much when it enters my skin.
You fear that as well?
Yes.
Okay, take a pain reliever first.
Is this pain reliever of a moon cake?
How can I take it?
You fear this and you fear that.
Okay, let me freeze with acupuncture.
And then I'll give you anesthetic injection.
Does it hurt? I'll beat you up
if you say it hurts.
No, it doesn't.
Look, it's just a small needle.
I don't fear such a small needle.
It's like being bitten by an ant.
Where's my big anesthetic syringe? Where?
Doctor, I know where that syringe is.
I know too.
Don't faint.
Doctor...
What is it?
Doctor.
Doctor...
Aren't you doctor?
I...
Candy asked you how to cure here
sore throat on the deck.
I'm doctor...don't come to me
if you have only a cold.
You needn't come to me if you have
cancer of Aids, I can't help you.
I don't mean this.
Shall I be frank to the doctor?
Yes.
In fact, I will feel uneasy
if I don't go to see doctor every day.
I should see psychologist,
but there's no on this ship.
I'm master at psychology and thing.
Can you keep it secret?
Yes, I can.
I always think I am ill after parting
with my boyfriend last two years.
But after seeing a doctor and getting
an injection, I'll feel alright.
It's simple, go to see a doctor every day.
Listen to my heartbeat now, doctor.
Doctor, is it of my blurred vision
or are you trembling?
Your vision is blurred.
It'll fine if you find another boyfriend.
It's not so easy.
Maybe you are too demanding.
Men now aren't like men at all.
They only pick nose when they have time...
...or scratch on their legs.
They are not real men at all.
I always make a dream.
A charming, strong man...
...holds me tight...
He holds me...kisses me...
caresses me...conquers me...
After making this dream, I can only lie there.
Go ahead, don't stop.
Go ahead? But I have finished already.
Have an injection.
Have an injection.
Doctor, is the injection done?
I feel nothing at all.
The injection is done
How do you feel?
Nothing, I feel a bit dizzy.
This time is it of my blurred vision
or are you trembling?
You vision is blurred.
You're really funny.
I'll come to see you tomorrow.
Good.
Goodbye.
Thanks.
Are you find that I am stupid?
You want me to tell you?
Tell me frankly, I'm ready for that.
I think you should be listed under protection.
Nowadays, men want to sleep
with woman after 3 dating.
After sleeping with 3 years.
They don't want to get married.
Men like you are rare species.
Though you think so, Cici doesn't think that.
I think you really love her,
you still miss her.
It's good if a man loves me for
such a long time.
You will surely have one.
So stupid, don't you need
me express it in words?
How many times have you had love?
Does puppy love count?
Yes, sure.
Just once.
One in primary school, one with Cici,
that makes up two.
No, the girlfriend I had
at primary school was Cici.
My God! Her pureness is a bit too much!
I've always been unlucky,
I've always stirred up trouble.
That's why everyone calls me Black Ching.
Do they?
Right.
I'm always in bad luck.
Others always call me Omen Girl
that means girl in bad luck.
Omen Girl...Black Ching.
Have a drink.
Excuse me.
It's okay, it's like this
whenever I have soft drink.
I'm in good luck today.
Every time I date a girl, it'll rain heavily.
But today it's s sunny, with big waves though.
These waves are really strong.
I'm in good luck today.
Every time I date with a boy in park,
I will draw robbers.
Don't panic, there're no robbers here.
I think it's safe to go inside.
Where to?
To my room.
May I consider for a few seconds?
Though I'm always in bad luck,
I want to tell you...
I'm not a man of casual sex, come on.
Where to?
To you room.
Come on.
"Wet paint"
Whenever I walk, I step on banana skins,
and you?
Step on dirt.
Who threw this banana skin?
It's dirt!
I have never forgotten my first kiss.
We went camping, just the two of us.
I put the log round the fire,
and when I turned around...
she had already taken all clothes off.
There was a roll of toilet paper too.
Then she told me gently.
I belong to you, you can do whatever you want.
Of course I said: I want your mouth!
She opened her mouth wide.
But I decided to kiss her only.
After kissing, I told her: Put on
your clothes, or you'll catch a cold.
Say, did I care very much about her?
Since that time, she never kisses me again.
Hey, you have finished?
No, you have finished?
Not yet, I was talking about my first kiss...
Have you said enough? I'm not that bad.
You've talked all night,
you're still talking your last lover.
If you kiss more,
you'll forget your first kiss.
Kiss more?
No, kiss more again.
How do you feel?
I haven't tried enough, it's good to try again.
Well, good with that technique.
But don't kiss too hard,
just suck the lips together.
Your saliva is coming down.
Jelly, remember we have signed a contract?
We must talk love before we are 35.
We mustn't dismiss the band or get married.
Remember this.
If you remember, then go back to your room.
Sister Cookie, he's really different
from other men.
Men are all the same, no different all.
Clean up your saliva.
Kissing other girls really
gives me different feeling.
Where has Cherry gone?
I don't know.
What do you usually do?
I usually play...computer...
and do planting...
I work as voluntary workers
to look after aged people.
What about you?
I...usually read with my friend.
I also do some research
of Chinese traditional art.
I also make new friends.
Not!...
I mustn't cheat you anymore.
To speak to a girl like you, I must...
be frank!
In fact, I only make use of my computer to...
see pom VCD.
I don planting, but all is cannabis.
I don't look after aged people,
I only play chess with them.
I play a game and a game, $5 a game.
I always win their hard money.
I am not good either.
All the books I read are
about horse racing tips.
The art I do is mahjong.
All the new friends I make are men.
Frank!
Frank!
Let's go on...to be frank.
I love you...because you're pretty...
and you have great figures too.
When I get into your room,
I just...want to kiss you.
If I can, I really want to make...
I haven't woo men for a long time.
Sister Cookie is so strict to us.
If you think you are really skilled
at kissing...
...I want to try it with you.
Miss Cherry, my kissing skill is handed down
from my father.
It's called Thunder Tongue On Tongue!
Great!
Good, I'll go and get ready.
Come on...
How are you?
My old illness again.
Lie down.
Do you still want to kiss?
Thunder Tongue On Tongue!
What's that noise?
Is it a party?
Yes, we're having a party.
I'm teaching her...to dance.
Is it love...and dance?
Love and dance...
Love and dance...
Love and dance...
You mustn't see him again.
Still in bad luck.
Even this wine is bitter,
so it's bad to be dumped.
I got dumped for 2 times, this time even worse.
I got dumped even before my love started...
It's the worst!
I failed to woo Candy,
and let Cookie tease me badly.
Aren't I even worse that you?
If one cannot get love
what' s the meaning of him to love
in this world?
I wanted to die long ago, but I still survive.
If you only had one more hour to live on,
what would you do?
I'd woo girls!
Right, but if you fail to woo girls?
I'd die!
You mustn't die, even insects
strive to survive.
It's really a failure
if I can't die even when I want to.
If there's a knife here,
I will just behead myself.
How come there's a knife here?
I just can't chop and kill myself.
I'd drink a whole bottle of acid
if there was one here.
Wow, there's really one.
Then I would want Debby Moore and Sharon Stone.
You two only nonsensical.
You fed me with the acid.
You take the knife and chop me!
Come on!
But we fear you'll struggle.
Please, hold me tight!
Of course we'll help you, no problem.
I've waited you for a long time.
You've trapped us and taken snapshots of us.
- Where are you from?
- I won't tell!
But...please put down the knife first.
Action!
Search him!
"Dedication to Occidental Week"
So you're from Occidental Week.
Must you flatter the boss this way?
Your own plan has gone astray.
The news of Li Chak Hoi wooing The Sweeties...
will become the exclusive news in our magazine.
Captain, what shall we do?
Get his film out!
Don't move or I'll kill him!
We don't move.
He has conspirators.
I told you that they are suspicious.
Don't come near, I have a knife.
Get after them.
Cockroach!
Have you seen him?
No.
Dare you come out?
You're looking for me?
Hold it!
Kid, what are you looking for?
None of your business, chop him!
Dare you look at me?
I must kill you!
You chop at my bottoms?
Give me back my bottoms!
What are you doing?
Poor, hard work, have a cigarette first.
Hey, lend my a cigarette.
What else do you know about us?
We've shot every of your evil deed
during this voyage.
Take out all your film.
No!
Take it out or not?
It's inside my trouser pocket.
It's here.
Will you stop bite me?
No way!
Sorry...
You're really naked and have sauna?
Are you naked when going to toilet?
Are you naked when you take a bath?
How can you get dressed when you peep at me?
Your stinking mouth is even worse!
Darn!
So it's you two who've been teasing me.
You Gossip Magazine can never win us.
Go to hell!
Go to hell.
Is it pretty?
You have different busts and bottoms,
your nipples are like ping-pong balls.
You think you can seduce me?
You go to hell!
Are there ping-pong ball?...
I'm bored, I must see doctor again.
I catch you finally!
Will you surrender?...
You're dead, will you surrender?
He holds me...kisses me...
caresses me...conquers me...
You surrender?
I surrender...
You surrender.
I...
How can...you disguise yourself so quickly?
What did you say?
I don't know what I am talking about.
Doctor, do you know I can shout raping
as you do this to me?
I know...
Rape!...
Don't shout!
I...beg you not to shout.
You ask me not to shout as you do this to me?
Sorry...
I have...loved you secretly for a long time.
How long have you known me?
The first time I saw you in TV,
I told myself...
I've found her, this is the dream woman of me.
I swear I'd rather be gay if I fail to woo you.
I know you get on board this ship,
So I bid a high sum to become
doctor of this ship.
Really?
Sure, if I cheat you...
I'll let thunder strike my dog,
my dad will be knocked down by a car
that my neighbours will be forced to
move away and my boss has measles...
that I always win Triple 1,
and can't stop at all.
Okay, I trust you now.
Cookie
Doctor.
Call me Arnold Schwazenegner.
Doctor Arnold Schwazengner.
What is it?
You're still checking me up?
You are to check me or I check you up?
Take it easy.
Candy, I have something to tell you.
I haven't hard the chance to...
No, listen to me first.
You also want to tell me something?
When the four of us set up the band,
we had a dream...
We all want to work hard for our career...
We all signed a contract...
that we mustn't date within 10 years.
How come there's such a stupid contract?
In order to train us, Sister Cookie...
has worked very hard.
She has never had a boyfriend herself,
so...we mustn't be wrong to her.
What about us?
Hoi, you haven't made a career yet.
What if we both work hard for our future?
Let's part for the moment.
Part?
Candy!
Let's part.
We mustn't part, Jelly.
It's so hard for me to find a girl
who understands me.
We mustn't let our love go on.
Don't be like this.
What have I done wrong? Tell me, I'll improve.
You must tell me the reason.
As we have decided that we must work
with Sister Cookie for our career.
Then you can work while having love.
If those Paparazzi takes our photos...
our career will be over.
Those Paparazzi are the worst people
in the world.
They always use the excuse of
the reader's need.
They're indeed raping other's private life!
Right!
I hope those jerks will be killed in accident!
We're those jerks!
Stand up after being knocked down.
After standing up, only the knees are wounded.
No matter what we do, those Paparazzi do exist.
For the sake of Sister Cookie,
I have decided...
to part with you.
So we mustn't see each other again.
We...
We can keep in touch by phone.
If you are busy? I can send you letters.
You mean that?
Why are you all there?
Do I look fine in wearing this?
Why are you bleeding at the nose? Greet her.
You! No! You're really lucky...
I know what I was wrong in the past.
Not all men are bad.
Since it's a happy thing, go and do it.
You and he...
Give him a chance.
Then we...
I'm in love too, you needn't keep the contract.
Yeah!
I think I should tell you the truth too.
Candy, I'm not Li Tai Hoi.
I'm Li Chak Hoi indeed.
My father is Li.
The first tycoon...of HK!
Even after the collapse of stock market,
he still is.
You're bad! Why didn't you tell me?
I know I am wrong.
I finally understand you love me, not my money.
I love both you and your money.
Can 1?
Yes, you can.
In fact, there's something we...hiding.
What is it?
We three are Paparazzi of Gossip Magazine.
Don't panic, we've decided to betray Fat Lai.
We want a better boss!
You want to make me fall into your trap.
But we haven't taken a single photo.
We've even thrown
Occidental Week film into sea.
We're going to fire Fat Lai when we are back.
Wait...
You don't want to be Paparazzi anymore?
Right.
Okay, I'll offer you double salary.
But first you must do one thing for me.
What is it?
An eye for an eye.
Open the door...
Fai Lai, come out!
Excuse me...
What do you want?
Excuse me...
Come out!
You're back?
Boss.
Where's the film?
The film!
No, I come back to resign.
You mean you fail in your mission?
No, we've made it.
But we three find a better boss,
and want you to finish instead.
You needn't find, the remote is here.
You must finish this time!
Eat dirt!
It's lucky I have a bulletproof glass here.
How come the glass broke?
I changed that glass last night.
So many people?
Your turn now.
You must finish this time! Fat Lai!
Go to hell! Jerk!
Don't run!
We're from City Attack,
what's your comment you got chopped?
I'll do whatever I can,
just to satisfy the readers.
I must keep on revealing
even if they chop me every day.
Man...your skills are excellent.
Sure, I've practiced hard.
After chopping that jerk,
I'll let you interview me again.
It's critical moment, we'll go on reporting.
If Fat Lai dies...
we'll report to you his past and some rumors.
How come there's a post box following me?
You come out.
Fatty, is this Gossip Magazine?
Yes, it's here.
Fat Lai, come out!
What's special with Paparazzi?
I'll chop you up if you don't come out at once!
It's milk tea, dare you drink it?
Mr. Lai
What's hey? I am Mr. Lai.
Morning, Mr. Lai.
Sit down and work, it's no longer morning.
An apple a day, keeps my chopper away.
These jerks want to find me trouble?
They're nuts.
Morning, Mr. Lai
The informant who has appointment
with you is waiting in your room.
Informant?
It's said you have gossip to
inform our Paparazzi?
Right.
What gossip? What's so special?
The queen singer Sammi...
is living together with Eken secretly.
Everyone knows this already.
But on one knows where they live.
I've got their address and telephone number.
I even know their Filipino
maid is called Maria.
Where do they live secretly then?
It's here!
Such strong magnetic?!
You nuts! You think you can attack me this way?
Hundreds of people like you
have always tried to kill me.
You stupid, sly, dirty fatty jerk...
Goodbye.
Boss.
It doesn't work!
We should show our card,
we should be captain of this mission.
You can't even spell this correctly!
Arnold Shwazenegger?
I say, I am Amold Schwazenegner!
Oh! Honey, I really love you, honey...
Wait!
What's it?
Don't you think we're really a bit too much?
What too much? You haven't husband
and I haven't wife. Go ahead.
No, I've said already...
I find we're really a bit too much.
What too much? We've known for a week already.
Look at me, I've taken a condom with me.
Why do you say it's too much?
Come, let's go on.
What again?
Okay, go and ask her if we're too much.
She?
Yes, Sir, I find you two are a bit too much.
I just can't help myself,
I can't wait to be home.
I won't ever walk a furniture store
with you in future.
Hello? Yes...boss, I'll be right back.
I'll accompany you later.
Jerk!
Hey, overloaded, go out.
No, why me?
Where's boss?
Stand in front of the X-ray plate.
X-ray?
Okay, you may go inside.
Boss.
Long time no see!
Boss, what is this?
This is the invisible bullet-proof glass
which I've just ordered.
Is it O.K.? I especially call
you come back to try it.
It's mighty.
Is it?
What's it for boss?
I fear someone will assassinate me.
Don't you always say:
An apple a day, keeps my choppers away.
It's just my slogan.
Nonsense, I have a mission for you.
What mission?
Cover of our next issue...
I want photo of Sammi and Eken
wearing pyjamas, in their love-house.
It's easy to make one with computer.
I want genuine ones.
Wow.
Boss, for the snake of Gossip Magazine...
I'll make my efforts to
take this photo for you!
Good guy! What help do you want?
Stallone and Jacky Chan.
Nuts!
If no, then send Delon and Fat Lung to help me.
No.
I find two members in our Paparazzi
have been laying off.
They just take the salary and do nothing.
How come there are two lay-off
under your leading?
Ng Ahn Lok, Black Wong and Black Ching?
How come? Where are they?
Ng Ahn Lok, dare you still come for Cici?
I really love Cici.
Aunt, let me beg her one more time.
I really hope she will change her mind
and come back to me.
Don't you find it's a bit late?
No, it's not late at all.
But I really find you're a bit late.
I'm really late?
Yes, go away.
Who are you?
I come to pick up my bride, be smart.
Don't get in the way.
Open the door, quick...
Want us to open the door? Pay us$99,999.
So much?! $99,999?
We'll only pay $999.
We won't open if you pay us only $999.
They won't open the door.
Okay, let's leave then.
Don't go...is it $99,999?
$99,999, I'll pay...
I'll pay...open the door!
Open the door!...
$99,9997? Are you lunatic?
Cici, don't marry him!
Give me one more chance, O.K.?
Cicil...
Cici are you happy today?
Yes, I'm happy.
Cici, I must talk to you!
Ng Ahn Lok, are you nuts?
We've parted for 2 years already.
Today is my wedding, can't you spare me?
Cici, I really love you.
Groom, you're a good guy, help me convince her.
Don't you find your request a bit too much?
Of course not too much.
I loved her secreted for 7 years,
I then court her 7 years,
but I had only dated her for 7 weeks.
Why don't you stop the wedding today
and give me a chance?
Ng Ahn Lok, I know you're a good guy,
but it's too late.
I am of course a good guy,
otherwise at the camping I would have.
Thanks God...
I fear you, please go away at once.
Thank God, bless that I won't see him again.
Do you Mr. Wong Wai Man?
Hello?
Your call.
Hello?
Cici, I'm waiting for you outside the church.
You jerk?
What do you want? You're hindering
their wedding, you want to die?
You come to mess around at my wedding.
I must teach you a lesson.
Go to hell! You know who I am?
Cici, don't!...
Don't stop me!
Drag her away!
Okay, I fear you.
I'll let her think about you for the
first minute when we sleep tonight.
Okay?
No need for one minute,
it's just takes me 30 seconds usually.
Wait.
Hello?
Captain Arnold Schwazenegner,
yes, there's a mission!
Good!...
It's about Cancer...
Astrology says I'm of Cancer,
I'll be in bad luck today.
I'll got hit if I go out or
go bankrupt if I invest.
Your girlfriend will dump you,
your father desert you.
You'll plunge into sea if you drive.
Really so unlucky?
Watch out...
Sorry.
Hello.
Black Ching, you have a mission,
come back to the office.
Brother Ner, astrology says
I am in really bad luck today.
I'll be killed if I come back to work.
It can't be! It's said you
have a date with a girl.
You know that?
Right, I've an appointment with a line-friend.
Brother Ner, it's taken my ages to
ask her out, she's called Hen-hen.
I've court her for a long time, I must have...
God to worship at a temple, and come back soon.
Okay...
Don't ever think I'll go back to the office.
I must follow her.
Hey...
It's a narrow escape.
I'm lucky, that big wardrobe didn't hurt me.
I'm not that really unlucky.
Madam, wait!
I'm in lucky, I managed to throwing it
into the slot.
You're Black Ching?
How come you know?
I've been looking for you everywhere.
Only you deserve to be called Black Ching.
You're Hen-hen?
Yes, I've been waiting hard for this day.
Where shall we do?
To your place.
What shall we do?
Just do...whatever you want to.
But I sleep on the upper deck of a bunk bed.
It's alright, I've a 6" X7' super
water bed at home.
Ga...ga...
It's extravagant? Okay.
Let me have a look...
Come on.
The power of 6' X 7!
Come on, Baby!
It's hot!
Quick!
I'll buy some cigarettes.
Excuse me, a packet of Mariporo.
Yes, terrific!
What is it?...
Ladies and Gentlemen.
This gentleman is the lucky 1st billion
customer of Maripolo Cigarettes.
He will be presented with our Centennial Prize.
The prize is HK 1 billion!
Wow!
You're great!
I've mad a fortune!
I'm not dreaming!...
I'm not dreaming...
You're dreaming!
Oh!...
What is going on?
The fallen wardrobe hit on his head.
He's nonsensical and says he's won a prize.
Black Ching...
It's Black Ching.
He's so poor.
It's me, Hen-hen.
You're Hen-hen.
Who else deserves to have my great name
as Hen-hen?
Oh! I'm really in bad luck today!
Help!
Don't run! Stop!
Ching Ching...
No! Help me! I've faint!
You've fainted? Don't panic,
I'll give you artificial respiration.
Monster! Jesus!
Thank you.
Thank you.
Mail a letter, get a mouse, Yes!
Black Ching calling Brother Ner.
Black Ching calling Brother Ner.
Roger, what is it?
Sammi hasn't arrived home yet,
the window are dark.
Nothing yet.
Go on watching, drill.
What are you doing here?
Of course I'm doing important things,
mind you own business.
Nice handmade?
Don't you find it's nonsense?
It's more nonsense at this hour to peep
and see if others are living together.
You're right.
Help yourselves!
Please eat more, help yourselves.
Shall we remind her?
Though she's married already,
but I still care so much about her.
Cheers!
Drink more tonight.
Hello?
He's not yet dead?
Hello?
Cici, making love at the first time does hurt.
But...you must endure it
and behave as a fair lady.
Why don't you go to hell?
Sorry for not serving you well.
Sorry for not serving you well.
Calling Brother Ner, I see Sammi's car,
she's back already.
They are back,
it seem like there are two people.
Act now.
You must do all you can...
and do your utmost to take 2 photos of her.
Okay?
I can't take photo with that hood on.
There's Paparazzil!
Get upstairs at once!
Is there a postman?!
Pan A fails, use Plan B...
Eken, you've put on a lot of weight lately.
Have l1? I don't feel so.
It's bad, now the Paparazzi knows
that we're living here.
Shall we move away?
Nuts! Wherever we move,
people will remarks behind us.
We only need to be more careful.
I'm hungry, I'll cook some noodle.
Calling Black Ching, get ready a van.
Finding...no one tell me where it is.
No, it's hurts, gently please!
I want it! Why not?
Wait...
Hello.
Groom, it's me.
If you really love Cici,
you must wear a condom.
Aids has a potential period of 7 years.
You don't even know
whether you're a virus carrier.
My God! Will you please spare me?
I do care about you.
Don't shout rude remarks to me.
You not only curse my mother,
you're cursing Cici already.
Go on working!
Brother Ner, I want to die,
please cut the rope for me.
You needn't go through this trouble.
I'll leave you after taking the photos,
and they'll kill you instantly.
Right.
Don't move! Stay there!
What's on?
How come there're 2 love marks on your neck?
Are there? No!...
Where did you court girls?
No, I didn't, it's mosquito bite only.
I say you were bitten by Chick!.
Let me go!
I've 100% feeling to you,
but you take me as 100% ignorant?
The worst is that you have more than
100 darlings.
It's enough, I'll fight black now!
It's evil!
Two Dragons Snatching Beads?
Enchanted Lock?
Mighty Revolver?
Honey...My hear Eken, are you okay?
I didn't mean it.
It's great! Come on honey.
Again?
It's lucky I didn't get injured.
Brother Ner, you're alright?
I'm fine.
It's fine in the front, but something seems
to hurt my back.
Wow! Dinosaur?!
No...
Love fight ends at love bite.
Go in and take photos.
Hey, no parking here.
Drive away.
Harder please.
I must catch you, you can't run away!
Stop running!
Okay, you may jump!
Don't drive away!
How come you speak so slowly?
Brother Ner, does it hurt?
My back is alright, but my front part aches.
Brother Ner, are you alright?
What a stupid question,
of course there is something!
Pheasant, I'll get downstairs in 1 minute.
I'll chop two guys with
gold paint all the body.
You needn't chop, they've gone away!
What's tat noise?
Throw it away!
Black Ching...
He's over there!
Cop him!
Stop running!
None of my business.
Stop running...
Stop running! Stop!
"Sold out”
This issue has broken a record again.
Boss, congratulations.
We must fight on,
we must reveal another secret.
What news?
The number one rich tycoon in HK, Mr. Li...
is a strict father,
and doesn't live a public life.
But I've got information that his son,
Li Chak Hoi...
is courting a member of a girl band,
The Sweeties.
He's courting Candy of The Sweeties.
All the 4 girls are pretty.
I know those 4 girls, they're singing
on a luxurious cruiser.
Li Chak Hoi will be fooling
with Candy on board.
Let's get aboard and take their photos.
But there is one thing I don't understand.
What is it, Boss?
I've checked the accounts of Candy
and the other 3 girls.
I've also checked Estate Department,
they have no savings or properties.
They have no reason not to get a lump sum
from the guy they seduce.
Maybe they talk of real love, and not of money.
Stupid.
Don't complain I never treat you with cake.
Thank Boss at once.
Thanks, Boss.
Good.
What's happened to you again?
I've got dumped again.
You feel down, and want to die?
What can I be of help to you?
Just let me die.
It's simple.
Young man, sit down and talk.
Wait for me.
Take it for me.
Okay.
Not like this, but upside down.
Take it and you will die horribly.
Why?
"Fat Lai is great!"
Open the door...
Fat Lai, you're smart!
Beat him!
It's 10 seconds, enough.
Help!
How is it? Do you still want to die?
I don't now.
You needn't fear not to have girlfriends.
There're lots of girls waiting for you
on board the ship.
I fear I'll scare them.
Eat the cake, don't waste it.
We can eat now.
It smells good, I'll eat first.
So much crab grease!
Sister Cookie, you know how to choose crabs.
Sure, after buying the crabs,
I've fed them with egg.
We'll be performing on board the ship tomorrow.
We must eat more tonight to help us
sing better tomorrow.
We always sing with our perfect voice.
Our albums will sell a double
platinum for sure.
You mean we have a chance
to get the award of Best Band?
Therefore we must work harder.
We mustn't waste time to court men.
No, I haven't court men for a long time.
Why so nervous? I was not talking about you.
You...you are looking at me.
No, I am not looking at you,
you have something in mind?
No, I am not...
A guy have been sending
flowers to you recently.
Who is he?
No, there is no such a guy...
I tell you, no men are good.
We've just made a little fame.
If Paparazzi takes photos
of you and that guy...
they'll make up stories that you date
and sleep together.
They will even say you will soon
give birth to a baby.
Don't worry, Sister Cookie.
We'll help you watch her.
I've told you, Sister Cookie
learns of this now.
Hoi is really a good man.
Though he only has a common job.
I think he'll have brilliant future.
Hello? You're down there?
Okay, I'll come down at once.
Don't you fear Sister Cookie learns of this?
Don't be like this, we're buddies, help me out.
I beg you, please...
You're the perfect example
of a sacrificing woman.
Good sister, goodbye.
Hoi.
Candy
This is for you.
Thanks.
You're getting on board the cruiser tomorrow?
We can't meet each other for a fortnight again.
I have to work.
It's alright, as long as you behave well.
I promise you, I'll look for you
after I finish work.
Hoi, we must both work hard.
If you have a better career, I needn't sing on.
Do you agree?
I'm to blame, I am useless.
No, every young man has no money...
except those who are born
with a silver spoon in their mouth.
I believe you'll surely
have a brilliant future.
It's lucky we disguise smartly.
Right.
How come Candy hasn't come back yet?
You really disguise smartly.
Hoi, I got to go.
So soon? Let's chat for another 1 minute.
No, Sister Cookie will come and check us.
That Sister Cookie is old-fashioned.
She's a monster.
You're an adult, why must she interfere
with your love?
Thank you.
Right, walk out of the street
and you can get a taxi.
Thanks you're so nice.
You're lost, so I must help you.
I'll come for you again next time
when I'm lost.
Sure, goodbye.
Sister Cookie.
Who is he?
He...he asked for direction.
Why are you here at this hour?
I've dropped an earring
so I came down and looked for it.
You've dropped many earrings already.
Did that man want to woo you.
Man? No.
The man who asked you for direction.
No, there was nobody.
I only came down pick up my earring.
You're nuts? The man who has just walked away.
No one at all.
No, there's not a single man in this street.
Sister Cookie,
didn't you see a psychologist recently?
Did he say anything wrong about you?
I've been looking for my earring
for ten minutes...
I really didn't see a single man at all.
Really no?
No, there is no.
Right there's no man at all.
No.
Sister Cookie, I think...
you haven't dated for ages.
Maybe you have a little mental problem.
Okay, I'll accompany you
to see a doctor tomorrow.
Don't say so much tonight, let's sleep early.
There was really no man here?
No, really no, why don't you trust me?
Your hands are cold,
no wonder you have illusion, poor you.
Go up and take a rest.
I'm not very cold?
You're very cold.
Drive me back to Repulse Bay.
Yes, Young Master.
Why do you ask me to park so far away?
I don't want her to learn of my real identity.
So you want to test her?
I want to see if a poor Li Chak Hoi
can win her heart.
Right, book a ticket for Love Cruise
for me tomorrow.
I want to give her a surprise.
Yes, Young Master.
Is this The Sweeties? Isn't it?
Yes, we come to give a show,
remember to come to our consult.
I tell you, those who come
on board are families.
So you'd better not flirt, understand?
Do you understand?
Yes, I do.
Yes.
Captain.
This is Master Li.
Master Li, nice to meet you!
Don't let other know.
Out Master was once kidnapped years ago.
Therefore he doesn't want others
to know his identity now.
I understand.
You don't want others to know
you're son of Tycoon Li.
No problem, you can count on me.
Listen to this, my crew.
Mr. Li's son is on board.
He doesn't want anyone to know this.
If you dare tell others,
you'll be fired at once!
No problem, Master Li.
Okay.
Hello, The Sweeties.
Hello, The Sweeties, let me introduce myself.
I am Leon.
In Hollywood of USA...
there's an agent company next door
to Spiebel's company.
And I'm the Director of that company.
Let me present you my name card.
You have lots of titles.
Thank you.
Only one title.
What title?
The famous horny molester!
I always see Clinton and Zhiang Zhemin.
Do you? Where?
At TV.
I must woo you, and when I succeed...
I must make you suffer and beg me.
I must rape you and then kill you!
Rape and kill, rape and kill!
Darn it!
What are you doing? What do you want?
Still shooting? Stop!
I must take your photo and show to those girls.
No, I'll let you rape them after I finish.
I've recorder what you've just said as well.
- Dare you?
- Go away!
Hold it! Look at my muscles,
you mustn't act rashly.
Sorry...
Friend...
Happy...
Do whatever you want...
Boss, staff of Gossip Magazine have come too.
Don't worry, Boss, we'll get rid of them.
Anyway, you must make sure that the news...
Tycoon Li's son wooing a girl becomes
the headline in our Occidental Week.
At that time, Fat Lai must close his business.
It's a deal.
Why are you smiling wickedly?
We're not wicked.
Right, flirt more.
Arnold Schwazenegner,
you must close business now.
Go and collect new now.
You're stupid, you soaked the camera.
Don't snatch.
Let me do it...Miss you magazine.
Thanks.
You two look familiar.
Are you agent of Hollywood also?
Of course not.
I'm just an ordinary hard working young man.
Every year I only have 30 meetings
and buy about 7, 8 pieces of land.
I buy a bank sometimes, I'm pretty busy.
Look, I set my phone to vibrate.
Hello, speaking, I'm on holiday.
What? Just a few hundred points?
It only means $20 to $30 million.
Stop it, stop the buying.
Don't call me up again, I'll switch it off.
You are a broker.
Miss.
Sir, what's your name?
I'm called Ner Swa.
My English is Arnold Schwazenegner.
Do you have a name card?
Everyone in the stock market knows me.
I needn't carry name cards with me.
It's good if Hoi get rich like him.
Miss, you're singer?
Yes, our band is called The Sweeties
It means sweet.
I've heard it, many rich men
want to woo that band.
No, how come?
Want to seduce our captain?
Our captain always get cruel
whenever he sees a woman.
How many times have I told
you not to mention women at me.
Sorry, sorry...
Not woman, I mean bad person...
Beat it! You get on my nerves!
What exactly am I doing here?
It reminds of my sad romance,
I can't forget Cici either.
No way, Cici doesn't know
where I keep my bank passbook.
She doesn't know where I keep my insurance
policy either. I mustn't die.
Write her a letter before you kill yourself.
This will put you in the safe side.
What do you two mean?
Why are you dressed so sexily?
Men will love that, go cover yourselves up.
Cover yourselves properly.
My big sister is coming, go away at once.
What is your room number?
I'll come to see you tonight.
Sister Cookie.
Who is he?
He...is a doctor.
I find I have sore throat,
so I asked advice from him.
Let me tell you, we come to sing,
not to woo men.
Don't make yourself a dirty bitch.
I know.
What is it? It's old-fashioned.
Cici, I'm dying.
But you must put on a quilt when you sleep.
The PIN to my bank is 1218,
and that's your birthday.
I keep my insurance policy in the left closet.
Your husband seems to be irritable.
Remember to prepare herbal tea for him.
I hope you will have a son and daughter.
If they can't enter La Salle or Moarynold,
call my foster dad, Father Williams
and ask him to help you.
From, Ng Ahn Lok, the one
who forever loves you.
He's a love machine.
Miss...
You mustn't die, you're good man.
You will surely find a better girl that Cici.
Yes, I'm a man of failure.
My sisters say you're a good guy, nuts.
Do they? Thanks.
I'm called Ng Ahn Lok.
I know, I'm Jelly.
How are you?
Are you free tonight?
Come to our concert then.
Yes, of course I am free.
I will definitely come.
You don't need this, throw it away.
The soapsuds.
"Oh, Candy, I am but a fool."
"Darling, I love you."
"Won't you treat me cruel."
You must die this time.
What do you mean?
It's bad!
That Jelly is really pretty.
Cherry is good too.
You're bad.
You're very horny.
Hello?...
I'm in trouble, come fast!
Brother Ner, what are you thinking about?
The way you think is a novice.
What are you think is more novice!
I got fooled by others!
We're stuck, help pull us apart!
Who is it?
It's me, Candy.
Hold the door.
May I come in?
It's...not convenient.
Don't we have an appointment?
Yes, we have an appointment...
I never know men also have inconvenient period.
I know, you have a woman there.
Okay then, I'll leave.
No...please wait a while.
To tell you the truth, I'm naked,
give me 10 seconds.
I think you must have a woman inside.
It's Incredible.
Right, I'm teaching them top level yoga,
I fear it'll scare you.
You're smart, you really are smart.
Look, I can practice this way too.
You're really competent!
If there's time, I can teach you
how to control your muscle.
Can ll learn?
Sure.
What if you come to my concert tonight?
Okay.
You are competent.
You know how to make money, yoga,
you're cute...
Don't kiss me!
It's bad, It's harder to part now.
Nuts! How can I sing tonight?
It's bad.
Candy
Hoi.
Why are you lips so thick?
I'm allergic to lipstick...
How come you're here?
I was going to give you a surprise.
After I get on board, I find you're familiar
with Ner Swa.
I then know you're good not only to me.
No...I am not...
I saw it myself.
Listen to me...
I feel uneasy as you work so hard.
That's why I want to meet some rich men.
I hope this can help you in your career.
I really mean good by doing so.
You're silly.
I wouldn't be happy if I made a fortune
with your help.
Hoi, I promise you.
I will not do this anymore.
Don't be angry with me, okay?
Shall I tell her my real identity?
Not now, maybe a few days later.
It's alright, I am not angry anymore.
What if you come to see my concert?
There're game too, okay?
Don't you fear Sister Cookie see me?
No, she is justice person.
All audience are bosses during a performance.
See you then.
It's you, pretty girl!
Man, you're very heavy.
If not, I wouldn't pay you $100.
Right.
You agree too?
How are you?
Don't force yourself if you can't.
Mind out you get hurt.
She cares about me!
Say, does she love me?
You want a candid opinion or not?
No.
I'll say, I believe
she is not interested in you.
And...?
The candid opinion is...
Pee on the ground look at yourself there,
darned fool!
It's my own business, don't call me a fool.
Don't run.
What?
I'm horrible, don't stir me up!
I can defeat the 20 of you with me alone!
You'd better go away.
I'm very furious?
How are you?
I'm fine, don't worry.
Their fists hurt more than I do.
You'd better have mercy on their fists.
I'm fine, but their fists hurt very much!
Stop beating him.
She's crying for me!
She's crying for me!
I underestimated you.
Sorry, darned fool.
You people again?
Why? You aren't convinced?
Maybe I'm not as competent as you in fighting.
But you're not up to me when talking
about wooing girls.
Right, wooing girls is our weak point.
We can only woo around 20 girls a day.
What to bet?
Okay!
Let's bet $50,000, we'll see who manages
to kiss those 4 girls first.
It's difficult...
You dare not?
So poor, this $50,000 is so hard to win.
Okay! Let's bet $100,000!
Good!...
Dear audience, it is our game time now.
We'll first draw two audiences out.
The first is Mr. Ner Swa.
Here, here!
I'm always luckier than you, guy!
And now the second one.
Let me draw the name...
Mr. Li Tal Ho.
Mr. Li Tai Hoi, where are you?
You only lose half if you surrender now,
will you?
You deserve this.
The winner of tonight Happy Card game...
will receive a 1,600 c.c. sedan.
I don't want this car.
I only want any of you four to give me a kiss.
This doctor is really horny.
A little bit.
Guy, if I win, I'll give you the car as well.
Hold it, if you lose,
you must eat Hot Hot Sushi.
You may add wasabi on them now.
The first card is 3.
You bet higher or lower?
Higher!
Higher!
This one is 10.
Your turn.
I want a lower one, please.
Ilt'sa 7.
Your turn again.
You have luck.
It may be a 9, a7, or a Queen, what shall I do?
Higher...
Why?
Because it's hard to give hints of lower.
Higher!
It's a Queen!
What can you do?
May be it's higher? Lower!
He said a higher one, a higher one.
What lower? It's higher.
It's a King.
Hurrah!
Good! You'll get dumped out.
It seems to be a 4, a lower one.
I'll add more wasabi.
Win at once, lower!
It's an Ace.
This is the lower card.
It's a 3.
You're lucky, let's play next time.
Hey...
What do you mean?
You can go after you eat the Hot Hot Sushi
No, I was just saying...
It's very hot!
Brother Ner, you shouldn't be so much.
You put so much wasabi on
and now you have to eat it yourself.
Darn you! You made mistakes
when you gave me the hints.
No one can get this $100,000 here, it's bad!
Guy, don't be so cocky.
You can't beat me when we bet on kissing
girls, let's bet on something else.
I'll bet with you for anything.
Okay, Big2, $3000 for a card,
extra to will be added if you lost.
So little!
You agree? Let's begin.
Brother Ner, no, it's $3000 a card.
I won't bet on $30 a card, and even I don't
have enough money for $300 a card
let alone $3000 a card... right?
- Right, let's go!
- Beat him!
What are you playing?
Nothing, just Big 2.
Guy, our stake is big.
Don't come if you have no money.
I'm only looking.
Mind he blames you of causing him to lose.
Okay, just one game to decide who wins.
The loser not only loses money...
he must also run nakedly from stern to stem.
Sure.
May I retreat now?
It's too late.
I'm not that unlucky?
Drop it...1 can't pick It.
What card is it?
It seems to be Spade 3.
Okay, I'll pick it up for you.
Take it.
Thanks, boss, thanks.
According to the rules, Diamond 3 throw first.
Four 3's, have you got them?
No.
No.
Four 4's, have you?
No.
No.
A pair of 5.
Another one.
All cards out.
I've won you of 3-folds!
Each of you have 52 cards, and 10 extra,
making a total of 62 cards...
Each card is $3,000, that means $186,000.
Thanks!
They two don't need to pay?
We'll pay when we're back the room!
Pay me.
I only have $100,000 here, I own you $86,000.
Owe me? No way!
Didn't you say the loser must run nakedly
from stem to stern?
Take off your trousers.
You bully me.
Take off your trousers! Yeah!
Well...
You all have girls to hold, I have on one!
Brother Ner, this is my boyfriend,
so I can't accept your court.
I'm more handsome than him, you're stupid.
As you're so handsome,
I don't have sense of security.
I should have plastic surgery
to make myself less handsome.
Kid, you're smart.
Something's wrong with Brother Ner,
take a look at him.
Let me die...
Let me die...l must die for Candy...
You get dumped by girls a hundred times
a year, how many times?
Lok, come here, Brother Ner
says he must commit suicide.
Let me die, let me die for Candy.
You mustn't die!
Buddy, you're really my good brother.
When I am down, you care so much about me.
Brother Ner, we're good buddies.
Brother Ner, you mustn't die.
You owe me $30,000, you haven't
paid me back yet, don't die...
You jerk! Give me a knife...
No, you still owe me money!
I won't give it to you...
Brother Ner, you mustn't die.
Brother Ner, I keep saying to die,
but I don't die.
Of course, you have Jelly now.
No, I don't!
You mean it.
Have you finished?
This world is very unfair.
Those who want to die survive...
but those who don't want to die get injured.
It's bad! Does it hurt?
You say?
Don't move...
Brother Ner, look, he lets
the knife stay on his body.
How painful it is!
If he's careless...
Suddenly if he's careless again...
Look, he'll become like this.
Brother Ner, dare you punch the knife
into you chest again?
It's really very painful.
I'll ask the doctor to help.
Help me to pull out the knife.
Brother Ner, I want doctor's consult at too!
Wait for me, Brother Ner, wait!...
Is the doctor at the stem or at the stern?
At the stern.
Did that knife punch the part again?
No, that knife punch other part this time!
You're ill?
Don't come to me if you have only a cold.
You needn't come to me if you have
cancer of Aids, I can't help you.
I can't even handle serious illness.
If you are slightly, ill,
drink some water and take a rest.
I want to die peacefully.
I don't have the guts to murder,
I don't have the skill to rescue.
But since you're now half dead, I can cure you.
I don't want you to cure me,
I just want to die peacefully.
I fear pain, what do you suggest?
Let me give you a strong dosage of anesthetic.
Anesthetic will work? Come on, quick...
Where do you want to be injected?
Isn't it to be injected on the bottoms?
Wow! Such a big syringe?
It will hurt much when it enters my skin.
You fear that as well?
Yes.
Okay, take a pain reliever first.
Is this pain reliever of a moon cake?
How can I take it?
You fear this and you fear that.
Okay, let me freeze with acupuncture.
And then I'll give you anesthetic injection.
Does it hurt? I'll beat you up
if you say it hurts.
No, it doesn't.
Look, it's just a small needle.
I don't fear such a small needle.
It's like being bitten by an ant.
Where's my big anesthetic syringe? Where?
Doctor, I know where that syringe is.
I know too.
Don't faint.
Doctor...
What is it?
Doctor.
Doctor...
Aren't you doctor?
I...
Candy asked you how to cure here
sore throat on the deck.
I'm doctor...don't come to me
if you have only a cold.
You needn't come to me if you have
cancer of Aids, I can't help you.
I don't mean this.
Shall I be frank to the doctor?
Yes.
In fact, I will feel uneasy
if I don't go to see doctor every day.
I should see psychologist,
but there's no on this ship.
I'm master at psychology and thing.
Can you keep it secret?
Yes, I can.
I always think I am ill after parting
with my boyfriend last two years.
But after seeing a doctor and getting
an injection, I'll feel alright.
It's simple, go to see a doctor every day.
Listen to my heartbeat now, doctor.
Doctor, is it of my blurred vision
or are you trembling?
Your vision is blurred.
It'll fine if you find another boyfriend.
It's not so easy.
Maybe you are too demanding.
Men now aren't like men at all.
They only pick nose when they have time...
...or scratch on their legs.
They are not real men at all.
I always make a dream.
A charming, strong man...
...holds me tight...
He holds me...kisses me...
caresses me...conquers me...
After making this dream, I can only lie there.
Go ahead, don't stop.
Go ahead? But I have finished already.
Have an injection.
Have an injection.
Doctor, is the injection done?
I feel nothing at all.
The injection is done
How do you feel?
Nothing, I feel a bit dizzy.
This time is it of my blurred vision
or are you trembling?
You vision is blurred.
You're really funny.
I'll come to see you tomorrow.
Good.
Goodbye.
Thanks.
Are you find that I am stupid?
You want me to tell you?
Tell me frankly, I'm ready for that.
I think you should be listed under protection.
Nowadays, men want to sleep
with woman after 3 dating.
After sleeping with 3 years.
They don't want to get married.
Men like you are rare species.
Though you think so, Cici doesn't think that.
I think you really love her,
you still miss her.
It's good if a man loves me for
such a long time.
You will surely have one.
So stupid, don't you need
me express it in words?
How many times have you had love?
Does puppy love count?
Yes, sure.
Just once.
One in primary school, one with Cici,
that makes up two.
No, the girlfriend I had
at primary school was Cici.
My God! Her pureness is a bit too much!
I've always been unlucky,
I've always stirred up trouble.
That's why everyone calls me Black Ching.
Do they?
Right.
I'm always in bad luck.
Others always call me Omen Girl
that means girl in bad luck.
Omen Girl...Black Ching.
Have a drink.
Excuse me.
It's okay, it's like this
whenever I have soft drink.
I'm in good luck today.
Every time I date a girl, it'll rain heavily.
But today it's s sunny, with big waves though.
These waves are really strong.
I'm in good luck today.
Every time I date with a boy in park,
I will draw robbers.
Don't panic, there're no robbers here.
I think it's safe to go inside.
Where to?
To my room.
May I consider for a few seconds?
Though I'm always in bad luck,
I want to tell you...
I'm not a man of casual sex, come on.
Where to?
To you room.
Come on.
"Wet paint"
Whenever I walk, I step on banana skins,
and you?
Step on dirt.
Who threw this banana skin?
It's dirt!
I have never forgotten my first kiss.
We went camping, just the two of us.
I put the log round the fire,
and when I turned around...
she had already taken all clothes off.
There was a roll of toilet paper too.
Then she told me gently.
I belong to you, you can do whatever you want.
Of course I said: I want your mouth!
She opened her mouth wide.
But I decided to kiss her only.
After kissing, I told her: Put on
your clothes, or you'll catch a cold.
Say, did I care very much about her?
Since that time, she never kisses me again.
Hey, you have finished?
No, you have finished?
Not yet, I was talking about my first kiss...
Have you said enough? I'm not that bad.
You've talked all night,
you're still talking your last lover.
If you kiss more,
you'll forget your first kiss.
Kiss more?
No, kiss more again.
How do you feel?
I haven't tried enough, it's good to try again.
Well, good with that technique.
But don't kiss too hard,
just suck the lips together.
Your saliva is coming down.
Jelly, remember we have signed a contract?
We must talk love before we are 35.
We mustn't dismiss the band or get married.
Remember this.
If you remember, then go back to your room.
Sister Cookie, he's really different
from other men.
Men are all the same, no different all.
Clean up your saliva.
Kissing other girls really
gives me different feeling.
Where has Cherry gone?
I don't know.
What do you usually do?
I usually play...computer...
and do planting...
I work as voluntary workers
to look after aged people.
What about you?
I...usually read with my friend.
I also do some research
of Chinese traditional art.
I also make new friends.
Not!...
I mustn't cheat you anymore.
To speak to a girl like you, I must...
be frank!
In fact, I only make use of my computer to...
see pom VCD.
I don planting, but all is cannabis.
I don't look after aged people,
I only play chess with them.
I play a game and a game, $5 a game.
I always win their hard money.
I am not good either.
All the books I read are
about horse racing tips.
The art I do is mahjong.
All the new friends I make are men.
Frank!
Frank!
Let's go on...to be frank.
I love you...because you're pretty...
and you have great figures too.
When I get into your room,
I just...want to kiss you.
If I can, I really want to make...
I haven't woo men for a long time.
Sister Cookie is so strict to us.
If you think you are really skilled
at kissing...
...I want to try it with you.
Miss Cherry, my kissing skill is handed down
from my father.
It's called Thunder Tongue On Tongue!
Great!
Good, I'll go and get ready.
Come on...
How are you?
My old illness again.
Lie down.
Do you still want to kiss?
Thunder Tongue On Tongue!
What's that noise?
Is it a party?
Yes, we're having a party.
I'm teaching her...to dance.
Is it love...and dance?
Love and dance...
Love and dance...
Love and dance...
You mustn't see him again.
Still in bad luck.
Even this wine is bitter,
so it's bad to be dumped.
I got dumped for 2 times, this time even worse.
I got dumped even before my love started...
It's the worst!
I failed to woo Candy,
and let Cookie tease me badly.
Aren't I even worse that you?
If one cannot get love
what' s the meaning of him to love
in this world?
I wanted to die long ago, but I still survive.
If you only had one more hour to live on,
what would you do?
I'd woo girls!
Right, but if you fail to woo girls?
I'd die!
You mustn't die, even insects
strive to survive.
It's really a failure
if I can't die even when I want to.
If there's a knife here,
I will just behead myself.
How come there's a knife here?
I just can't chop and kill myself.
I'd drink a whole bottle of acid
if there was one here.
Wow, there's really one.
Then I would want Debby Moore and Sharon Stone.
You two only nonsensical.
You fed me with the acid.
You take the knife and chop me!
Come on!
But we fear you'll struggle.
Please, hold me tight!
Of course we'll help you, no problem.
I've waited you for a long time.
You've trapped us and taken snapshots of us.
- Where are you from?
- I won't tell!
But...please put down the knife first.
Action!
Search him!
"Dedication to Occidental Week"
So you're from Occidental Week.
Must you flatter the boss this way?
Your own plan has gone astray.
The news of Li Chak Hoi wooing The Sweeties...
will become the exclusive news in our magazine.
Captain, what shall we do?
Get his film out!
Don't move or I'll kill him!
We don't move.
He has conspirators.
I told you that they are suspicious.
Don't come near, I have a knife.
Get after them.
Cockroach!
Have you seen him?
No.
Dare you come out?
You're looking for me?
Hold it!
Kid, what are you looking for?
None of your business, chop him!
Dare you look at me?
I must kill you!
You chop at my bottoms?
Give me back my bottoms!
What are you doing?
Poor, hard work, have a cigarette first.
Hey, lend my a cigarette.
What else do you know about us?
We've shot every of your evil deed
during this voyage.
Take out all your film.
No!
Take it out or not?
It's inside my trouser pocket.
It's here.
Will you stop bite me?
No way!
Sorry...
You're really naked and have sauna?
Are you naked when going to toilet?
Are you naked when you take a bath?
How can you get dressed when you peep at me?
Your stinking mouth is even worse!
Darn!
So it's you two who've been teasing me.
You Gossip Magazine can never win us.
Go to hell!
Go to hell.
Is it pretty?
You have different busts and bottoms,
your nipples are like ping-pong balls.
You think you can seduce me?
You go to hell!
Are there ping-pong ball?...
I'm bored, I must see doctor again.
I catch you finally!
Will you surrender?...
You're dead, will you surrender?
He holds me...kisses me...
caresses me...conquers me...
You surrender?
I surrender...
You surrender.
I...
How can...you disguise yourself so quickly?
What did you say?
I don't know what I am talking about.
Doctor, do you know I can shout raping
as you do this to me?
I know...
Rape!...
Don't shout!
I...beg you not to shout.
You ask me not to shout as you do this to me?
Sorry...
I have...loved you secretly for a long time.
How long have you known me?
The first time I saw you in TV,
I told myself...
I've found her, this is the dream woman of me.
I swear I'd rather be gay if I fail to woo you.
I know you get on board this ship,
So I bid a high sum to become
doctor of this ship.
Really?
Sure, if I cheat you...
I'll let thunder strike my dog,
my dad will be knocked down by a car
that my neighbours will be forced to
move away and my boss has measles...
that I always win Triple 1,
and can't stop at all.
Okay, I trust you now.
Cookie
Doctor.
Call me Arnold Schwazenegner.
Doctor Arnold Schwazengner.
What is it?
You're still checking me up?
You are to check me or I check you up?
Take it easy.
Candy, I have something to tell you.
I haven't hard the chance to...
No, listen to me first.
You also want to tell me something?
When the four of us set up the band,
we had a dream...
We all want to work hard for our career...
We all signed a contract...
that we mustn't date within 10 years.
How come there's such a stupid contract?
In order to train us, Sister Cookie...
has worked very hard.
She has never had a boyfriend herself,
so...we mustn't be wrong to her.
What about us?
Hoi, you haven't made a career yet.
What if we both work hard for our future?
Let's part for the moment.
Part?
Candy!
Let's part.
We mustn't part, Jelly.
It's so hard for me to find a girl
who understands me.
We mustn't let our love go on.
Don't be like this.
What have I done wrong? Tell me, I'll improve.
You must tell me the reason.
As we have decided that we must work
with Sister Cookie for our career.
Then you can work while having love.
If those Paparazzi takes our photos...
our career will be over.
Those Paparazzi are the worst people
in the world.
They always use the excuse of
the reader's need.
They're indeed raping other's private life!
Right!
I hope those jerks will be killed in accident!
We're those jerks!
Stand up after being knocked down.
After standing up, only the knees are wounded.
No matter what we do, those Paparazzi do exist.
For the sake of Sister Cookie,
I have decided...
to part with you.
So we mustn't see each other again.
We...
We can keep in touch by phone.
If you are busy? I can send you letters.
You mean that?
Why are you all there?
Do I look fine in wearing this?
Why are you bleeding at the nose? Greet her.
You! No! You're really lucky...
I know what I was wrong in the past.
Not all men are bad.
Since it's a happy thing, go and do it.
You and he...
Give him a chance.
Then we...
I'm in love too, you needn't keep the contract.
Yeah!
I think I should tell you the truth too.
Candy, I'm not Li Tai Hoi.
I'm Li Chak Hoi indeed.
My father is Li.
The first tycoon...of HK!
Even after the collapse of stock market,
he still is.
You're bad! Why didn't you tell me?
I know I am wrong.
I finally understand you love me, not my money.
I love both you and your money.
Can 1?
Yes, you can.
In fact, there's something we...hiding.
What is it?
We three are Paparazzi of Gossip Magazine.
Don't panic, we've decided to betray Fat Lai.
We want a better boss!
You want to make me fall into your trap.
But we haven't taken a single photo.
We've even thrown
Occidental Week film into sea.
We're going to fire Fat Lai when we are back.
Wait...
You don't want to be Paparazzi anymore?
Right.
Okay, I'll offer you double salary.
But first you must do one thing for me.
What is it?
An eye for an eye.
Open the door...
Fai Lai, come out!
Excuse me...
What do you want?
Excuse me...
Come out!
You're back?
Boss.
Where's the film?
The film!
No, I come back to resign.
You mean you fail in your mission?
No, we've made it.
But we three find a better boss,
and want you to finish instead.
You needn't find, the remote is here.
You must finish this time!
Eat dirt!
It's lucky I have a bulletproof glass here.
How come the glass broke?
I changed that glass last night.
So many people?
Your turn now.
You must finish this time! Fat Lai!
Go to hell! Jerk!
Don't run!
We're from City Attack,
what's your comment you got chopped?
I'll do whatever I can,
just to satisfy the readers.
I must keep on revealing
even if they chop me every day.
Man...your skills are excellent.
Sure, I've practiced hard.
After chopping that jerk,
I'll let you interview me again.
It's critical moment, we'll go on reporting.
If Fat Lai dies...
we'll report to you his past and some rumors.
How come there's a post box following me?