Chanoc y el hijo del Santo contra los vampiros asesinos (1981) - full transcript
My son,
I have been preparing
you to take over my place
I have taught you to love
the poor and the distressed
and now you are ready
to help and defend them,
to fight for law and justice
and most of all to be
a friend to the people
I will bestow upon you
that mask
which has been my emblem
and pride
When you don it, you will
have to honour it always,
even when your very
existence is in danger
If you feel you have the strength
to dedicate your life to it
swear it just as I did
But first, you must know
something:
Once you put it on,
you can never go back
Now tell me,
are you determined?
Yes Father, I swear it
Take it, with this
I grant you all my power
Chanoc and the Son of Santo
vs
The Killer Vampires
I'm not taking a step out
of this hotel until
you tell me what we we're doing
here in southern Baja California
Alright, you can know now,
we came to study
the places the government
has designated as
ecological reservations
Oh, by god's nose, teeth
and beard,
I thought we were
going near the border,
over there with the blondies
that visit Tijuana and Ensenada
Gotta say I love
the ones from Ensenada
Anyway, you're the boss,
we go where you want
but just don't say anything,
not another word
Look at those
marvellous specimens,
and to think there are people who
commit wholesale massacres
of these defenceless animals
It's a good thing the
Mexican government protects them
and considers that a crime
I'll be a monkey's uncle,
now I know why we're here!
To investigate who
organizes those massacres
That's right. The animals
are killed to take their skins
which are used to make
luxurious women's coats
To be honest Chanoc I
like women without coats
Actually, just forget
the whole dress.
If we hurry we can get
to Acapulco-
Now I'll teach you to fish
The first thing you need to
learn is how to cast the line
Watch how I do it
Oh mommy!
Looks like you caught
some butt sir
You got a butt there
What a shame,
it got away, it got away
You see?
When you know how
to cast the line
you always catch something
Yes, a bucket
Look! What's going on there?
Captain, to that boat please
Alright, let's go
Here it is Captain,
stop the boat
Relax, relax, we're aboard
Oh mommy!
Hey Santo, where did this
lovely woman come from?
Are they alive?
Where are your manners?
Let me go, I have to
save my godfather
He's next to you,
looks like he's coming to
He pulled us out
of the water?
It was none other than I
I'm dead, I'm dead!
The devil, the devil!
Who shaved this devil?
What do you mean
shaved devil?
I'm Carlitos, the devil's
guardian, I mean Santo's,
who taught him to defend
himself against his enemies
and pulled you, out
of the ocean
I'm Marcos, Carlitos' friend
Who are you and why were
you thrown into the sea?
I am Chanoc
and this grumpy old man
is my godfather Tsekub
I'm not old, I'm not old! The
sea's old and it's still wet!
We're here to defend
Mexico's marine wildlife,
principally the seals
and the sea lions
From what I see we're not
well regarded by the poachers
who would have killed us
if it weren't for the assistance
of you and the masked man
By the way, where is
he? I'd like to thank him
Give them to Carlitos, he's the
one who pulled you out of the sea
I don't like being in
trouble, I hate violence
I'm here because my parents
asked me to follow Carlitos
on a trip around the world,
no more than that
We're grateful to Carlitos
and the masked man,
but we'd be even more grateful
if you took us to a hotel,
- we're totally bushed
- Of course we'll take you,
a man of your age would be
exhausted
after everything that's
happened
Look Methuselah,
back on land
two blondes are waiting for me,
they're shaped just like this
Bah, what would you know
about it?
What do I know?
I know I want you to share
Of course, I'm only
Santo's representative,
but I taught him to wrestle,
I launched his career,
I made him champion!
And I'm Chanoc's godfather
Though we're the same age
I trained him and taught
him everything he knows
Oh, you're here Chanoc?
Isn't that all true Chanoc?
If you say it then it
must be true godfather
Won't you introduce me
to your friends?
Of course!
They're Marcos and Chanoc
Our delicious and
delectable friends here
are Dolores and Isabel
She's my favourite
Sit down boys, sit
They told us what you're
here for and we'd like to help
though I'm only here
to accompany my brother Jan
and Isabel who works
at the cabaret
So you're the
sister of Mr. Lopez,
the one who came to
buy precious stones, right?
I think I know
your friend Isabel too,
I've heard her sing somewhere
It's no easy thing to
forget such a lovely girl
Alright, alright, but we
mustn't keep Chanoc and Tsekub
waiting too long since they have
to go and find their attackers
Don't be selfish,
don't be selfish!
It's true, you'll have
to excuse us
Where are you going?
We don't know the city
and honestly I have no idea
where to start
Listen boys, why don't
you go to the Cesar Bar?
My brother goes there,
he says everyone does
That's a good suggestion.
I think we'll be seeing
each other again soon
Let's go
I'll leave my hat
and glasses with you
Don't get too burned
- Bye Tsekub
- You'll see
Tsekub, sit down
- I'd like a-
- Two sodas please
We're gonna rust
Too bad, I guess I'll
just have to deal with it
Do you recognize
any of the clients?
I haven't even had the
chance to settle in,
how do you expect me to
recognize someone?
- Listen friend?
- Yes?
Maybe you can help us
We want to buy some
animal skins,
you know what I mean
We only sell fine drinks here,
it was only by chance
that I found those sodas
and now it'd be best
if you paid me and left
Do you know those gorillas
that just went by?
- Are they from around here?
- I don't know.
It's 50 pesos, pay me
What a grouch
Let's go kid, there's
nothing to be had here
Let me go, let me go
I'm gonna kill those thugs,
you see what I did to them?
I just got up and they ran
like the devil was after them
Let's help the masked man who's
timely arrival saved our lives
Geez, another masked man?
He disappeared
I had three of my enemies
right in front of me,
one of them pulled
out a gun, the Killer,
and then she said
"Hold it!
Stay there or I'll kill you"
I stood as still as a statue
But buddy, don't you trust me?
Why didn't you call me,
you know I'm as good in a fight
as I am in a party
You're always messing
things up
I think it's time to
go see that cabaret
Forgive us for leaving,
but we already had plans to
go with the boys to the cabaret
We'll see you tomorrow
at the pool
Shall we?
We woo them
and they take them
Don't worry Carlitos,
we'll find us some blondes,
some white women,
some Americans,
those don't cause a fuss
You know,
I hypnotize them
with this Greek profile
Sure Apollo
- I'm not a boxer
- Oh lord, he lacks culture!
To be honest
I think I like him better
To be honest it's not the first
time someone leaves me for him
Carlitos isn't any
different really
Just what I needed, for you
to run off with an old timer
but I swear I'll leave him
here to take care of Tsekub
That's a very good idea
Good evening, hello
All of your brother's
friends look like thieves
They're not his friends, he
just does business with them
You aren't in very good
company either,
you always end up
fighting with them
Jan is a real gentleman
This is my number,
I'll dedicate it to you
Shall we dance?
- Would you permit me?
- This is my song
And I don't want Dolores' brother
Jan to come and interrupt us,
why don't I just take
you for a ride in my car?
I accept, but shouldn't we tell
the others so they can come too?
Let's go
I'm inviting you for a
ride in my car, shall we?
Let's go
Tell us the story of the
famous vampires of Tijuana
Well people say that many men
have been found dead
close to the graveyard
and the strangest thing is
that when they did the autopsies
they discovered that they didn't
have a drop of blood in them
They also found two holes
in their necks,
like the fangs of a vampire,
through which they think
the blood was sucked out
There are vampires
in my country too
They look like mice
but they attack men
They also like sucking
the juice out of animals
These aren't small, some
people have seen them in flight
and they say that they're
much bigger than man
Oh wow, how horrible
Bi-i-bigger than a man?
I wouldn't want to run into them!
Don't be afraid Charlie,
human type vampires don't
exist here or in America,
they live in Europe,
in Transylvania
That's what they said in Tijuana
until all those guys turned up dead
Let's talk about something else,
dead things make my teeth chatter
That must be skeletons Charlie,
we're talking about vampires
Yes, vampires
You got me all wet Charlie
Carlitos is right,
we should keep drinking
We need another drink, Tijuana is
too far away to go get one there
More milk, I'm turning into
a sheep here
Let's go before it gets any later
He's right, I have to go
Wait, I'll go with you
Since you drank the milk you're
going to have to pay for it,
we're going to milk
the money out of you
Who am I going with?
I wanna go with the woman
from the other day
Don't you fall down Tsekub
This is one of the first missions
created in Baja California
and also one of
the best preserved
Now let's go see if we can
hear something
Tonight I have to be
in Tijuana, you hear?
You'll sell the merchandise
tomorrow at 3 during the low tide
and you'll bring the money to
me in Tijuana, I'll be waiting
- How's it going boys?
- Hello
Just looking at the mission?
Yes sir, or to be more specific,
admiring it
just as we admire the men
who built it
Be sure to visit the
church, it's very interesting
- I'll be seeing you
- So long
I told you, that man is a
prime suspect
He might be the boss of the group
that acts against the sea lions
but I'll be there at
low tide to expose him
Will you come with me?
You're not jealous, are you?
How can you say that,
you heard it too, right?
If you're afraid I can just
get Tsekub to come with me
I'll go with you anyway, but
first I have to ask for a favour
You know I hate violence and
Carlitos made me promise him
that I'd join the Son of Santo
in a tag team match tomorrow
His partner got sick and-
And you want me to go
instead of you
Alright, agreed
I knew you would,
and now let's go because the
girls must be waiting for us by now
Oh, by the way, don't say a word
to Delores about your suspicions
about her brother, alright?
Alright
We finished, now we can
go for a ride
Dolores and I had an idea
- Oh? And what's that?
- You have to have a job
so no one knows what
you're doing here
A job? Like what?
You'll sing with me
in the cabaret
After hearing you I'm sure
you won't make us look bad
Another job, today's second
What did you say?
I thought you'd be happy
Of course I am
This way I'll be able to spend
more time with you,
now let's go,
they're waiting for us
Let's go, we have to keep
checking out social centres
Th-th-thinking about more
milk today makes me feel
like what I drank last night is
going come out of my ears
That's because you're an idiot,
um, I mean idiotically dedicated
Well, off to work
Help me
Don't push me, calm down, easy
Oh mother,
I'm drowning, I'm drowning
Let's go through here,
follow me
Did you bring the merchandise?
There's the money
- Let's go
- Don't, they might kill you
Let's follow them, we
finally know where to find Jan
It won't start, give me a hand
It's useless, they took
the distributor cap
Let's try to catch up to Jan!
Now they've foiled us Marcos,
the match starts at 8 and we
won't get there on time walking
I think we both win then,
you because you won't
have to fight
and me because I won't have
to watch that violent spectacle
We should start walking if we
don't want to spend the night here
Follow
So you prefer to sleep
in the car, right?
Damned old man,
I bet your godson got scared
and he won't ever come
Oh yeah Charlie,
then what happened
with your famous Son of Santo,
haven't you noticed
he hasn't come either?
The Son of Santo has no fear,
he's like his father, invincible
And besides, that doesn't matter
What do you mean it doesn't
matter, do you think my cub
is going to wrestle alone?
What do you mean alone,
what do you mean solo?
Don't you remember
that I taught both
the father and the son?
Sure, all that was left
was the holy spirit, amen
And besides, I have a mask,
with that I'll replace him
in the ring
and I don't see who can
fill in for Chanoc
You think so?
No, I'll be your partner
and I'll protect you
We'll see who's who in the ring
Remember that I'm
the ace of powerslams
Oh yeah, well I'm the
prince of beatdowns
Hey Tsekub,
are those patented?
They're advertising
- Look at that car
- That's why you brought me
The Son of Santo told me
to give you this mask
and these boots for you to wear
Where is he?
He's outside, but he wanted you to
hurry because he's headed to the ring
Alright buddy, I'll hurry
I'll go find a good spot
to watch the match
Good luck
Respected audience,
your attention please
These two poor devils
are only pretending to be the
Son of Santo and his partner
Just a moment people,
the real ones are on their way
The Son of Santo and
Blue Shadow
Yes my friends, we've just
received the news
that the previous duo were not the
Son of Santo and the Blue Shadow
I grabbed my enemy's leg and gave
it a bite worthy of a chainsaw
That wasn't your enemy's leg!
That was my leg when
I was going after mine
Oh, my poor leg
Tsekub, has he come back?
The Son of Santo
wanted to say goodbye
He just got dressed and left
I want to see him too,
if it wasn't for us they couldn't
have beaten them
- What?
- We tired them out!
Help me up
I wish you hadn't helped me
Kill him
Hold it!
Well, everyone says
that vampires have all
of Tijuana terrorized
What happened kiddo?
Where have you been cub, I
looked for you all over the hotel
Following this briefcase
It's the same briefcase that
Jan used to pay for the gems,
where did you find it?
The man who had to deliver
it to Tijuana was carrying it.
who died accidentally by
the way, and it has the money
Why don't you give it
to the police?
Do you need it for something?
Of course I do,
since I saw the gems
my suspicions have been confirmed
This isn't just about the
sale of sea lion skins,
there's something larger
and more dangerous here,
and besides, I've been able
to perceive the sinister hand
that guides all this,
the hand of the Mafia
- The Ma-ma-ma
- You're always talking about your mother,
the Mafia has none
So what do you plan to do?
he truth is we have to deliver this
briefcase to its destination in Tijuana
I can't do it because they
know what I look like
They know what I look like too
Carlitos is the one for the job
Sadly I can't do it either,
my mission is to take care
of Marcos, you see
Marcos, I think you can help
us deliver this briefcase
which will take us to the
head of the organization
who I want to meet
and destroy
Though I dislike violence
I'll do as you ask
I'll take the briefcase
While we wait here
Watching and taking
care of the girls
You'll have to come with
us to watch our backs
and besides,
I have a mission for you
- We'll help you
- Just leave it to us
You'll have to go
to the graveyard
to investigate
that vampire rumour
I think that has a connection
with our case
Why don't you just
turn that briefcase in?
I'm not afraid
of dead people,
but we don't want anything
to do with vampires,
right Tsekub?
You go, we stay,
if you need help
we'll give it to you
- Call us at 1154
- Or at the hotel
- Aren't you nervous?
- No
I know you'll be listening
and it's my turn to
dedicate a song to you
I was expecting you would
So now you know I like you a lot
I knew that, that's why Dolores
and I decided to help you
even Jan has promised to once
he comes back from Tijuana
So Jan is in Tijuana
I should have figured
I'll probably see him there
Thanks to your company
I've had a marvellous time
Me too, it's a shame my
vacation is nearly over
We'll be leaving as soon as
Jan comes back
Then this could be
our last night together,
let's enjoy it
- Where's Chanoc?
- He's over there. Chanoc!
Coming
Tonight you'll go to the graveyard
to find the fabled vampires
while Marcos and I will go
to the nightspots to find Pete
Look cub, why don't
Carlitos and I
go to the nightspots
and you two go visit all those bones
in their dirt beds, what do you say?
Of course, we're used to
those sorts of investigations
and besides, I want to taste
the milk in every bar in Tijuana
We're not going to
argue about it,
we had agreed
you'd go look for the dead
They're really serious
and don't talk much
The dead, we just agreed
to look for vampires!
Oh mommy, I don't like this
Now now, don't start with
your mommy again Charlie
We're brave and audacious,
we'll stand up to the dead!
...and the vampires
I want to stay here and look after
Marcos, his parents asked me to
There's no danger
where I'm going Carlitos,
but Tsekub might need
a brave man's help
He's supposed to help me
against the vampires?
No way, what you want is that
we dig our own graves,
that's what you want
I did what I promised, I want
you to leave me alone for good
We'll see
You're all useless,
I'll have to go back to Loreto
to fix things personally
and I expect you to be
there when I arrive
I'll be there if you need me
You better
It's better if they don't
see us together
I'll follow Jan
while you talk to Pete
You first
You first
Youth goes first
Why not age?
Help me
Give me your foot, give me your foot!
It's easier on this side
Lift your foot
Give me your hand Tsekub, now up
- I can't
- Have to be in first gear Tsekub
May I sit?
I have something to tell you
Alright, sit down and
be quick, I'm in a hurry
You're waiting for
a friend, right?
What do you know?
I have the briefcase
with the money
You better give it to me
immediately or you'll regret it
Relax if you want
to see it again
Alright, what do you
want for it?
Nothing, your friend
gave it to me
and made me swear I'd
only give it to one person
Then give it to me
No, not to you, to the boss
You'll give it to me
or face the consequences
If something happens to me
neither you nor your boss
will receive it
and he wouldn't like that, right?
You win, but give me some
proof that you have it
The briefcase has
500 thousand big ones,
our friend made me count them
in his presence
Very well, the boss in Loreto
We'll see each other there
in three days, agreed?
I'll be there
Oh Tsekub,
the va-va-vampires!
- Those are some big mice
- We have to go hide Tsekub, this way
This way, this way!
There's the vampires, let's get out
of here Tsekub, let's get out of here!
Wait for me!
Teskub, it's me,
Carlitos, your Charlie
Your bald head convinced
me, give me your white hand
Give me the keys St. Peter!
I'm St. Charlie, and let's get out
of here before the vampires see us
Let's go
Don't move or I'll kill you
Miss, Miss, it's an
emergency, get me the police
Police, they've just
kidnapped my friend Dolores
So in three days we have
to meet the boss in Loreto
What a coincidence,
Jan is heading to Loreto tomorrow,
they told me at his hotel
You think he's the leader or
are you just jealous again?
We'll see in Loreta, but
before doing anything else-
Mission accomplished
cub, mission accomplished
The vampires exist!
They attacked us furiously
at the graveyard
If it wasn't for me
Carlitos wouldn't
have gotten out of there alive
The truth is I got out of there
more alive than dead
because of the deceased
The vampires didn't scare me
and I kept them
from sucking on Tsekub
and leaving his bones drier
than a popsicle stick
Don't get carried away
bowling ball head
Calm down brush face
Enough godfather, that's enough
And now tell me,
did you see the vampires?
We saw the vampires flying, just
as if they were in first class
And they're bigger than anything!
Where were they coming from?
I don't know exactly,
but I saw them with these two
eyes that the worms nearly ate
They didn't ask you that Charlie
They're from the north,
they're American vampires
They're pale and
bloodthirsty tourists
I have to go find those vampires
tomorrow night, will you come?
Though you know I find violence
repugnant, I'll go with you
just to prove that
vampires don't exist
They do, they do!
They're horrid, hairy,
big headed and smelly
They have hands like
giant spiders
and fangs that were
as long as my fingers
Good afternoon
Sit, please
Tell me,
to what do I owe the honour
You know what I'm here for
It's been over 24 hours since
my friend Dolores was kidnapped
and you haven't been able
to find her
This isn't as easy as you think
We've been investigating
and haven't found a lead
But if you don't find her
soon they might kill her
Believe me, we're doing everything
possible but it's not easy
We know the local people very well
We're sure that this attack
was carried out by a foreigner
So what are you waiting for?
You know there's a large
population of drifters
In Puerto Escondido alone there
are 5000 Americans camping,
and many more
in the whole region,
so it's hard knowing who did
it and where they have her
You haven't told me anything new
Maybe she went with her brother
and just hasn't turned up yet
I told you those men took her
in my presence while Jan was gone
Perhaps he had her kidnapped
Don't be silly, I know Jan well
and I know he's not
capable of doing that
I'm sure he'll clear
everything up when he gets back
Alright, we'll wait for
him to come back
if he comes back
You're all useless,
you're good for nothing!
Will they come tonight?
Sure they'll come,
luck is with us
You're a coward buddy
You let your cub go off alone
to have his blood drained
I'm no coward and my godson
is no soft drink,
you're a coward a coward for letting
Marcos go get his blood sucked
It's one thing to send him
to the red cross,
but you sent him to the mice,
the big mice,
they're real vampires!
Maybe you're right,
let's go help our boys
who can't defend themselves!
You're right buddy,
we should beat those vampires
up again and leave them for the kids
Though I think it'd be a better
idea to wait a little while more
and then go scare them
Oh Carlitos, that's brilliant,
the greatest idea ever
Come here, my little Carlito's,
my shiny headed genius
Why don't we toast on it Tsekub?
Look, there they go
They really look like vampires
- Should we go after them?
- Let's go
We have them, we have them!
We got here on time to
knock these bloodsuckers out
Tsekub, look what they have,
I knew they were smugglers
This is surely the way to
get the gems across the border
Well done boys, shame you didn't
tell us everything you knew,
it would have kept us
from staying up late
You have to
do something, right?
What's that buddy?
If we don't teach them
they'll never learn
C'mon Charlie, let's have some
fun, this looks like a good place
Tsekub, there's the targets
No, don't part it in the
middle, they'll recognize you
But just seeing them
makes my hair stand on end
You're head is as bald
as an egg
I don't have much hair,
but what's there is fine
You heard about Dolores, right?
No, we just got here
We only went to the hotel
for a shower
and then we came to the
cabaret, what happened?
Two days ago some men kidnapped
her from our hotel room
when we went back to sleep.
She hasn't come back
The police hasn't been
able to find her
And has Jan come back?
Yes, he came back yesterday.
He's been going crazy
waiting for news at the hotel
This is all very strange,
but don't worry, Marcos came
back with me and we'll fix this
Alright, but you have to sing,
you agreed to do it
Sure, but don't worry,
everything will be fine
Don't forget to carry out
the orders to the letter
I'll wait for you at the
hotel lobby tomorrow at 8
to take you to the boss
I'll be there
Is he me, or I am I him?
He's better buffed
than you are
She looks like a cactus
My briefcase!
Give me my briefcase!
Are you the boss?
We have him,
we'll make him confess!
Let's go
I'll wait here
You can't do this to me,
I'll report you to the police!
Here you have the boss
I told you all along,
he's the boss
I said it first
Isabel, tell them to let me go,
I have to get the briefcase
with the money,
only that way will they
give me my sister back alive
Please tell them to let me go
Let him go!
Let him go I say!
You heard her, let him go
Hold it,
don't move from here until I get
back unless you want to ruin things
if you haven't already,
and you wait here please
It's better if you
wait here with me
I told you he was the boss
I said it first
Is that the money?
Yes, but I told you I'd
only give it to the boss
He's waiting. Follow me
Boss, this is the man
who has the briefcase
So you're the leader
of the gang
involved in the smuggling
of skin and jewels
Yes, give me the briefcase
Give me some proof
you're the boss
The briefcase
- Let's go
- No one's leaving here
Take care of him
Grab me, don't let go!
Look at your money,
just trash
Everything's over
Remember,
the Mafia never forgives
Let's go
Thank you Marcos
Cut it out,
you're making us nervous
We have to leave immediately,
they're holding her captive
on the island
and her guards
have orders to kill her
That's what the boss said?
That's what he said
Let's go, what are
you waiting for?
Wait, it's very dangerous that
they see us arrive together
The best thing would be if Marcos
and I go alone and surprise them
Let's go
I want to go too
Hold him until we come back
Sit down, sit down
It's better to do as they say,
I'm sure everything
will turn out fine
What's wrong?
I'm thirsty
I'm tired, untie me please
You know what our orders are
Yes, but I don't think
a man as strong
as you are would be afraid
of a weak woman
Alright, I don't think you
can get off the island anyway,
but remember,
you have to stay near me
Agreed, now please untie me
Why did you take so long?
So we discovered the boss
when we went to the graveyard
And we also discovered
where Dolores was
Let's go boys
Hurry, we're saying goodbye
Now we've really
been beaten buddy
The End
Translation: Turdis
July 2009
I have been preparing
you to take over my place
I have taught you to love
the poor and the distressed
and now you are ready
to help and defend them,
to fight for law and justice
and most of all to be
a friend to the people
I will bestow upon you
that mask
which has been my emblem
and pride
When you don it, you will
have to honour it always,
even when your very
existence is in danger
If you feel you have the strength
to dedicate your life to it
swear it just as I did
But first, you must know
something:
Once you put it on,
you can never go back
Now tell me,
are you determined?
Yes Father, I swear it
Take it, with this
I grant you all my power
Chanoc and the Son of Santo
vs
The Killer Vampires
I'm not taking a step out
of this hotel until
you tell me what we we're doing
here in southern Baja California
Alright, you can know now,
we came to study
the places the government
has designated as
ecological reservations
Oh, by god's nose, teeth
and beard,
I thought we were
going near the border,
over there with the blondies
that visit Tijuana and Ensenada
Gotta say I love
the ones from Ensenada
Anyway, you're the boss,
we go where you want
but just don't say anything,
not another word
Look at those
marvellous specimens,
and to think there are people who
commit wholesale massacres
of these defenceless animals
It's a good thing the
Mexican government protects them
and considers that a crime
I'll be a monkey's uncle,
now I know why we're here!
To investigate who
organizes those massacres
That's right. The animals
are killed to take their skins
which are used to make
luxurious women's coats
To be honest Chanoc I
like women without coats
Actually, just forget
the whole dress.
If we hurry we can get
to Acapulco-
Now I'll teach you to fish
The first thing you need to
learn is how to cast the line
Watch how I do it
Oh mommy!
Looks like you caught
some butt sir
You got a butt there
What a shame,
it got away, it got away
You see?
When you know how
to cast the line
you always catch something
Yes, a bucket
Look! What's going on there?
Captain, to that boat please
Alright, let's go
Here it is Captain,
stop the boat
Relax, relax, we're aboard
Oh mommy!
Hey Santo, where did this
lovely woman come from?
Are they alive?
Where are your manners?
Let me go, I have to
save my godfather
He's next to you,
looks like he's coming to
He pulled us out
of the water?
It was none other than I
I'm dead, I'm dead!
The devil, the devil!
Who shaved this devil?
What do you mean
shaved devil?
I'm Carlitos, the devil's
guardian, I mean Santo's,
who taught him to defend
himself against his enemies
and pulled you, out
of the ocean
I'm Marcos, Carlitos' friend
Who are you and why were
you thrown into the sea?
I am Chanoc
and this grumpy old man
is my godfather Tsekub
I'm not old, I'm not old! The
sea's old and it's still wet!
We're here to defend
Mexico's marine wildlife,
principally the seals
and the sea lions
From what I see we're not
well regarded by the poachers
who would have killed us
if it weren't for the assistance
of you and the masked man
By the way, where is
he? I'd like to thank him
Give them to Carlitos, he's the
one who pulled you out of the sea
I don't like being in
trouble, I hate violence
I'm here because my parents
asked me to follow Carlitos
on a trip around the world,
no more than that
We're grateful to Carlitos
and the masked man,
but we'd be even more grateful
if you took us to a hotel,
- we're totally bushed
- Of course we'll take you,
a man of your age would be
exhausted
after everything that's
happened
Look Methuselah,
back on land
two blondes are waiting for me,
they're shaped just like this
Bah, what would you know
about it?
What do I know?
I know I want you to share
Of course, I'm only
Santo's representative,
but I taught him to wrestle,
I launched his career,
I made him champion!
And I'm Chanoc's godfather
Though we're the same age
I trained him and taught
him everything he knows
Oh, you're here Chanoc?
Isn't that all true Chanoc?
If you say it then it
must be true godfather
Won't you introduce me
to your friends?
Of course!
They're Marcos and Chanoc
Our delicious and
delectable friends here
are Dolores and Isabel
She's my favourite
Sit down boys, sit
They told us what you're
here for and we'd like to help
though I'm only here
to accompany my brother Jan
and Isabel who works
at the cabaret
So you're the
sister of Mr. Lopez,
the one who came to
buy precious stones, right?
I think I know
your friend Isabel too,
I've heard her sing somewhere
It's no easy thing to
forget such a lovely girl
Alright, alright, but we
mustn't keep Chanoc and Tsekub
waiting too long since they have
to go and find their attackers
Don't be selfish,
don't be selfish!
It's true, you'll have
to excuse us
Where are you going?
We don't know the city
and honestly I have no idea
where to start
Listen boys, why don't
you go to the Cesar Bar?
My brother goes there,
he says everyone does
That's a good suggestion.
I think we'll be seeing
each other again soon
Let's go
I'll leave my hat
and glasses with you
Don't get too burned
- Bye Tsekub
- You'll see
Tsekub, sit down
- I'd like a-
- Two sodas please
We're gonna rust
Too bad, I guess I'll
just have to deal with it
Do you recognize
any of the clients?
I haven't even had the
chance to settle in,
how do you expect me to
recognize someone?
- Listen friend?
- Yes?
Maybe you can help us
We want to buy some
animal skins,
you know what I mean
We only sell fine drinks here,
it was only by chance
that I found those sodas
and now it'd be best
if you paid me and left
Do you know those gorillas
that just went by?
- Are they from around here?
- I don't know.
It's 50 pesos, pay me
What a grouch
Let's go kid, there's
nothing to be had here
Let me go, let me go
I'm gonna kill those thugs,
you see what I did to them?
I just got up and they ran
like the devil was after them
Let's help the masked man who's
timely arrival saved our lives
Geez, another masked man?
He disappeared
I had three of my enemies
right in front of me,
one of them pulled
out a gun, the Killer,
and then she said
"Hold it!
Stay there or I'll kill you"
I stood as still as a statue
But buddy, don't you trust me?
Why didn't you call me,
you know I'm as good in a fight
as I am in a party
You're always messing
things up
I think it's time to
go see that cabaret
Forgive us for leaving,
but we already had plans to
go with the boys to the cabaret
We'll see you tomorrow
at the pool
Shall we?
We woo them
and they take them
Don't worry Carlitos,
we'll find us some blondes,
some white women,
some Americans,
those don't cause a fuss
You know,
I hypnotize them
with this Greek profile
Sure Apollo
- I'm not a boxer
- Oh lord, he lacks culture!
To be honest
I think I like him better
To be honest it's not the first
time someone leaves me for him
Carlitos isn't any
different really
Just what I needed, for you
to run off with an old timer
but I swear I'll leave him
here to take care of Tsekub
That's a very good idea
Good evening, hello
All of your brother's
friends look like thieves
They're not his friends, he
just does business with them
You aren't in very good
company either,
you always end up
fighting with them
Jan is a real gentleman
This is my number,
I'll dedicate it to you
Shall we dance?
- Would you permit me?
- This is my song
And I don't want Dolores' brother
Jan to come and interrupt us,
why don't I just take
you for a ride in my car?
I accept, but shouldn't we tell
the others so they can come too?
Let's go
I'm inviting you for a
ride in my car, shall we?
Let's go
Tell us the story of the
famous vampires of Tijuana
Well people say that many men
have been found dead
close to the graveyard
and the strangest thing is
that when they did the autopsies
they discovered that they didn't
have a drop of blood in them
They also found two holes
in their necks,
like the fangs of a vampire,
through which they think
the blood was sucked out
There are vampires
in my country too
They look like mice
but they attack men
They also like sucking
the juice out of animals
These aren't small, some
people have seen them in flight
and they say that they're
much bigger than man
Oh wow, how horrible
Bi-i-bigger than a man?
I wouldn't want to run into them!
Don't be afraid Charlie,
human type vampires don't
exist here or in America,
they live in Europe,
in Transylvania
That's what they said in Tijuana
until all those guys turned up dead
Let's talk about something else,
dead things make my teeth chatter
That must be skeletons Charlie,
we're talking about vampires
Yes, vampires
You got me all wet Charlie
Carlitos is right,
we should keep drinking
We need another drink, Tijuana is
too far away to go get one there
More milk, I'm turning into
a sheep here
Let's go before it gets any later
He's right, I have to go
Wait, I'll go with you
Since you drank the milk you're
going to have to pay for it,
we're going to milk
the money out of you
Who am I going with?
I wanna go with the woman
from the other day
Don't you fall down Tsekub
This is one of the first missions
created in Baja California
and also one of
the best preserved
Now let's go see if we can
hear something
Tonight I have to be
in Tijuana, you hear?
You'll sell the merchandise
tomorrow at 3 during the low tide
and you'll bring the money to
me in Tijuana, I'll be waiting
- How's it going boys?
- Hello
Just looking at the mission?
Yes sir, or to be more specific,
admiring it
just as we admire the men
who built it
Be sure to visit the
church, it's very interesting
- I'll be seeing you
- So long
I told you, that man is a
prime suspect
He might be the boss of the group
that acts against the sea lions
but I'll be there at
low tide to expose him
Will you come with me?
You're not jealous, are you?
How can you say that,
you heard it too, right?
If you're afraid I can just
get Tsekub to come with me
I'll go with you anyway, but
first I have to ask for a favour
You know I hate violence and
Carlitos made me promise him
that I'd join the Son of Santo
in a tag team match tomorrow
His partner got sick and-
And you want me to go
instead of you
Alright, agreed
I knew you would,
and now let's go because the
girls must be waiting for us by now
Oh, by the way, don't say a word
to Delores about your suspicions
about her brother, alright?
Alright
We finished, now we can
go for a ride
Dolores and I had an idea
- Oh? And what's that?
- You have to have a job
so no one knows what
you're doing here
A job? Like what?
You'll sing with me
in the cabaret
After hearing you I'm sure
you won't make us look bad
Another job, today's second
What did you say?
I thought you'd be happy
Of course I am
This way I'll be able to spend
more time with you,
now let's go,
they're waiting for us
Let's go, we have to keep
checking out social centres
Th-th-thinking about more
milk today makes me feel
like what I drank last night is
going come out of my ears
That's because you're an idiot,
um, I mean idiotically dedicated
Well, off to work
Help me
Don't push me, calm down, easy
Oh mother,
I'm drowning, I'm drowning
Let's go through here,
follow me
Did you bring the merchandise?
There's the money
- Let's go
- Don't, they might kill you
Let's follow them, we
finally know where to find Jan
It won't start, give me a hand
It's useless, they took
the distributor cap
Let's try to catch up to Jan!
Now they've foiled us Marcos,
the match starts at 8 and we
won't get there on time walking
I think we both win then,
you because you won't
have to fight
and me because I won't have
to watch that violent spectacle
We should start walking if we
don't want to spend the night here
Follow
So you prefer to sleep
in the car, right?
Damned old man,
I bet your godson got scared
and he won't ever come
Oh yeah Charlie,
then what happened
with your famous Son of Santo,
haven't you noticed
he hasn't come either?
The Son of Santo has no fear,
he's like his father, invincible
And besides, that doesn't matter
What do you mean it doesn't
matter, do you think my cub
is going to wrestle alone?
What do you mean alone,
what do you mean solo?
Don't you remember
that I taught both
the father and the son?
Sure, all that was left
was the holy spirit, amen
And besides, I have a mask,
with that I'll replace him
in the ring
and I don't see who can
fill in for Chanoc
You think so?
No, I'll be your partner
and I'll protect you
We'll see who's who in the ring
Remember that I'm
the ace of powerslams
Oh yeah, well I'm the
prince of beatdowns
Hey Tsekub,
are those patented?
They're advertising
- Look at that car
- That's why you brought me
The Son of Santo told me
to give you this mask
and these boots for you to wear
Where is he?
He's outside, but he wanted you to
hurry because he's headed to the ring
Alright buddy, I'll hurry
I'll go find a good spot
to watch the match
Good luck
Respected audience,
your attention please
These two poor devils
are only pretending to be the
Son of Santo and his partner
Just a moment people,
the real ones are on their way
The Son of Santo and
Blue Shadow
Yes my friends, we've just
received the news
that the previous duo were not the
Son of Santo and the Blue Shadow
I grabbed my enemy's leg and gave
it a bite worthy of a chainsaw
That wasn't your enemy's leg!
That was my leg when
I was going after mine
Oh, my poor leg
Tsekub, has he come back?
The Son of Santo
wanted to say goodbye
He just got dressed and left
I want to see him too,
if it wasn't for us they couldn't
have beaten them
- What?
- We tired them out!
Help me up
I wish you hadn't helped me
Kill him
Hold it!
Well, everyone says
that vampires have all
of Tijuana terrorized
What happened kiddo?
Where have you been cub, I
looked for you all over the hotel
Following this briefcase
It's the same briefcase that
Jan used to pay for the gems,
where did you find it?
The man who had to deliver
it to Tijuana was carrying it.
who died accidentally by
the way, and it has the money
Why don't you give it
to the police?
Do you need it for something?
Of course I do,
since I saw the gems
my suspicions have been confirmed
This isn't just about the
sale of sea lion skins,
there's something larger
and more dangerous here,
and besides, I've been able
to perceive the sinister hand
that guides all this,
the hand of the Mafia
- The Ma-ma-ma
- You're always talking about your mother,
the Mafia has none
So what do you plan to do?
he truth is we have to deliver this
briefcase to its destination in Tijuana
I can't do it because they
know what I look like
They know what I look like too
Carlitos is the one for the job
Sadly I can't do it either,
my mission is to take care
of Marcos, you see
Marcos, I think you can help
us deliver this briefcase
which will take us to the
head of the organization
who I want to meet
and destroy
Though I dislike violence
I'll do as you ask
I'll take the briefcase
While we wait here
Watching and taking
care of the girls
You'll have to come with
us to watch our backs
and besides,
I have a mission for you
- We'll help you
- Just leave it to us
You'll have to go
to the graveyard
to investigate
that vampire rumour
I think that has a connection
with our case
Why don't you just
turn that briefcase in?
I'm not afraid
of dead people,
but we don't want anything
to do with vampires,
right Tsekub?
You go, we stay,
if you need help
we'll give it to you
- Call us at 1154
- Or at the hotel
- Aren't you nervous?
- No
I know you'll be listening
and it's my turn to
dedicate a song to you
I was expecting you would
So now you know I like you a lot
I knew that, that's why Dolores
and I decided to help you
even Jan has promised to once
he comes back from Tijuana
So Jan is in Tijuana
I should have figured
I'll probably see him there
Thanks to your company
I've had a marvellous time
Me too, it's a shame my
vacation is nearly over
We'll be leaving as soon as
Jan comes back
Then this could be
our last night together,
let's enjoy it
- Where's Chanoc?
- He's over there. Chanoc!
Coming
Tonight you'll go to the graveyard
to find the fabled vampires
while Marcos and I will go
to the nightspots to find Pete
Look cub, why don't
Carlitos and I
go to the nightspots
and you two go visit all those bones
in their dirt beds, what do you say?
Of course, we're used to
those sorts of investigations
and besides, I want to taste
the milk in every bar in Tijuana
We're not going to
argue about it,
we had agreed
you'd go look for the dead
They're really serious
and don't talk much
The dead, we just agreed
to look for vampires!
Oh mommy, I don't like this
Now now, don't start with
your mommy again Charlie
We're brave and audacious,
we'll stand up to the dead!
...and the vampires
I want to stay here and look after
Marcos, his parents asked me to
There's no danger
where I'm going Carlitos,
but Tsekub might need
a brave man's help
He's supposed to help me
against the vampires?
No way, what you want is that
we dig our own graves,
that's what you want
I did what I promised, I want
you to leave me alone for good
We'll see
You're all useless,
I'll have to go back to Loreto
to fix things personally
and I expect you to be
there when I arrive
I'll be there if you need me
You better
It's better if they don't
see us together
I'll follow Jan
while you talk to Pete
You first
You first
Youth goes first
Why not age?
Help me
Give me your foot, give me your foot!
It's easier on this side
Lift your foot
Give me your hand Tsekub, now up
- I can't
- Have to be in first gear Tsekub
May I sit?
I have something to tell you
Alright, sit down and
be quick, I'm in a hurry
You're waiting for
a friend, right?
What do you know?
I have the briefcase
with the money
You better give it to me
immediately or you'll regret it
Relax if you want
to see it again
Alright, what do you
want for it?
Nothing, your friend
gave it to me
and made me swear I'd
only give it to one person
Then give it to me
No, not to you, to the boss
You'll give it to me
or face the consequences
If something happens to me
neither you nor your boss
will receive it
and he wouldn't like that, right?
You win, but give me some
proof that you have it
The briefcase has
500 thousand big ones,
our friend made me count them
in his presence
Very well, the boss in Loreto
We'll see each other there
in three days, agreed?
I'll be there
Oh Tsekub,
the va-va-vampires!
- Those are some big mice
- We have to go hide Tsekub, this way
This way, this way!
There's the vampires, let's get out
of here Tsekub, let's get out of here!
Wait for me!
Teskub, it's me,
Carlitos, your Charlie
Your bald head convinced
me, give me your white hand
Give me the keys St. Peter!
I'm St. Charlie, and let's get out
of here before the vampires see us
Let's go
Don't move or I'll kill you
Miss, Miss, it's an
emergency, get me the police
Police, they've just
kidnapped my friend Dolores
So in three days we have
to meet the boss in Loreto
What a coincidence,
Jan is heading to Loreto tomorrow,
they told me at his hotel
You think he's the leader or
are you just jealous again?
We'll see in Loreta, but
before doing anything else-
Mission accomplished
cub, mission accomplished
The vampires exist!
They attacked us furiously
at the graveyard
If it wasn't for me
Carlitos wouldn't
have gotten out of there alive
The truth is I got out of there
more alive than dead
because of the deceased
The vampires didn't scare me
and I kept them
from sucking on Tsekub
and leaving his bones drier
than a popsicle stick
Don't get carried away
bowling ball head
Calm down brush face
Enough godfather, that's enough
And now tell me,
did you see the vampires?
We saw the vampires flying, just
as if they were in first class
And they're bigger than anything!
Where were they coming from?
I don't know exactly,
but I saw them with these two
eyes that the worms nearly ate
They didn't ask you that Charlie
They're from the north,
they're American vampires
They're pale and
bloodthirsty tourists
I have to go find those vampires
tomorrow night, will you come?
Though you know I find violence
repugnant, I'll go with you
just to prove that
vampires don't exist
They do, they do!
They're horrid, hairy,
big headed and smelly
They have hands like
giant spiders
and fangs that were
as long as my fingers
Good afternoon
Sit, please
Tell me,
to what do I owe the honour
You know what I'm here for
It's been over 24 hours since
my friend Dolores was kidnapped
and you haven't been able
to find her
This isn't as easy as you think
We've been investigating
and haven't found a lead
But if you don't find her
soon they might kill her
Believe me, we're doing everything
possible but it's not easy
We know the local people very well
We're sure that this attack
was carried out by a foreigner
So what are you waiting for?
You know there's a large
population of drifters
In Puerto Escondido alone there
are 5000 Americans camping,
and many more
in the whole region,
so it's hard knowing who did
it and where they have her
You haven't told me anything new
Maybe she went with her brother
and just hasn't turned up yet
I told you those men took her
in my presence while Jan was gone
Perhaps he had her kidnapped
Don't be silly, I know Jan well
and I know he's not
capable of doing that
I'm sure he'll clear
everything up when he gets back
Alright, we'll wait for
him to come back
if he comes back
You're all useless,
you're good for nothing!
Will they come tonight?
Sure they'll come,
luck is with us
You're a coward buddy
You let your cub go off alone
to have his blood drained
I'm no coward and my godson
is no soft drink,
you're a coward a coward for letting
Marcos go get his blood sucked
It's one thing to send him
to the red cross,
but you sent him to the mice,
the big mice,
they're real vampires!
Maybe you're right,
let's go help our boys
who can't defend themselves!
You're right buddy,
we should beat those vampires
up again and leave them for the kids
Though I think it'd be a better
idea to wait a little while more
and then go scare them
Oh Carlitos, that's brilliant,
the greatest idea ever
Come here, my little Carlito's,
my shiny headed genius
Why don't we toast on it Tsekub?
Look, there they go
They really look like vampires
- Should we go after them?
- Let's go
We have them, we have them!
We got here on time to
knock these bloodsuckers out
Tsekub, look what they have,
I knew they were smugglers
This is surely the way to
get the gems across the border
Well done boys, shame you didn't
tell us everything you knew,
it would have kept us
from staying up late
You have to
do something, right?
What's that buddy?
If we don't teach them
they'll never learn
C'mon Charlie, let's have some
fun, this looks like a good place
Tsekub, there's the targets
No, don't part it in the
middle, they'll recognize you
But just seeing them
makes my hair stand on end
You're head is as bald
as an egg
I don't have much hair,
but what's there is fine
You heard about Dolores, right?
No, we just got here
We only went to the hotel
for a shower
and then we came to the
cabaret, what happened?
Two days ago some men kidnapped
her from our hotel room
when we went back to sleep.
She hasn't come back
The police hasn't been
able to find her
And has Jan come back?
Yes, he came back yesterday.
He's been going crazy
waiting for news at the hotel
This is all very strange,
but don't worry, Marcos came
back with me and we'll fix this
Alright, but you have to sing,
you agreed to do it
Sure, but don't worry,
everything will be fine
Don't forget to carry out
the orders to the letter
I'll wait for you at the
hotel lobby tomorrow at 8
to take you to the boss
I'll be there
Is he me, or I am I him?
He's better buffed
than you are
She looks like a cactus
My briefcase!
Give me my briefcase!
Are you the boss?
We have him,
we'll make him confess!
Let's go
I'll wait here
You can't do this to me,
I'll report you to the police!
Here you have the boss
I told you all along,
he's the boss
I said it first
Isabel, tell them to let me go,
I have to get the briefcase
with the money,
only that way will they
give me my sister back alive
Please tell them to let me go
Let him go!
Let him go I say!
You heard her, let him go
Hold it,
don't move from here until I get
back unless you want to ruin things
if you haven't already,
and you wait here please
It's better if you
wait here with me
I told you he was the boss
I said it first
Is that the money?
Yes, but I told you I'd
only give it to the boss
He's waiting. Follow me
Boss, this is the man
who has the briefcase
So you're the leader
of the gang
involved in the smuggling
of skin and jewels
Yes, give me the briefcase
Give me some proof
you're the boss
The briefcase
- Let's go
- No one's leaving here
Take care of him
Grab me, don't let go!
Look at your money,
just trash
Everything's over
Remember,
the Mafia never forgives
Let's go
Thank you Marcos
Cut it out,
you're making us nervous
We have to leave immediately,
they're holding her captive
on the island
and her guards
have orders to kill her
That's what the boss said?
That's what he said
Let's go, what are
you waiting for?
Wait, it's very dangerous that
they see us arrive together
The best thing would be if Marcos
and I go alone and surprise them
Let's go
I want to go too
Hold him until we come back
Sit down, sit down
It's better to do as they say,
I'm sure everything
will turn out fine
What's wrong?
I'm thirsty
I'm tired, untie me please
You know what our orders are
Yes, but I don't think
a man as strong
as you are would be afraid
of a weak woman
Alright, I don't think you
can get off the island anyway,
but remember,
you have to stay near me
Agreed, now please untie me
Why did you take so long?
So we discovered the boss
when we went to the graveyard
And we also discovered
where Dolores was
Let's go boys
Hurry, we're saying goodbye
Now we've really
been beaten buddy
The End
Translation: Turdis
July 2009