Chanoc y el hijo del Santo contra los vampiros asesinos (1981) - full transcript

My son,

I have been preparing
you to take over my place

I have taught you to love
the poor and the distressed

and now you are ready
to help and defend them,

to fight for law and justice

and most of all to be
a friend to the people

I will bestow upon you
that mask

which has been my emblem
and pride

When you don it, you will
have to honour it always,

even when your very
existence is in danger

If you feel you have the strength
to dedicate your life to it



swear it just as I did

But first, you must know
something:

Once you put it on,
you can never go back

Now tell me,
are you determined?

Yes Father, I swear it

Take it, with this
I grant you all my power

Chanoc and the Son of Santo
vs
The Killer Vampires

I'm not taking a step out
of this hotel until

you tell me what we we're doing
here in southern Baja California

Alright, you can know now,

we came to study
the places the government

has designated as
ecological reservations

Oh, by god's nose, teeth
and beard,

I thought we were
going near the border,



over there with the blondies
that visit Tijuana and Ensenada

Gotta say I love
the ones from Ensenada

Anyway, you're the boss,
we go where you want

but just don't say anything,
not another word

Look at those
marvellous specimens,

and to think there are people who
commit wholesale massacres

of these defenceless animals

It's a good thing the
Mexican government protects them

and considers that a crime

I'll be a monkey's uncle,
now I know why we're here!

To investigate who
organizes those massacres

That's right. The animals
are killed to take their skins

which are used to make
luxurious women's coats

To be honest Chanoc I
like women without coats

Actually, just forget
the whole dress.

If we hurry we can get
to Acapulco-

Now I'll teach you to fish

The first thing you need to
learn is how to cast the line

Watch how I do it

Oh mommy!

Looks like you caught
some butt sir

You got a butt there

What a shame,
it got away, it got away

You see?

When you know how
to cast the line

you always catch something

Yes, a bucket

Look! What's going on there?

Captain, to that boat please

Alright, let's go

Here it is Captain,
stop the boat

Relax, relax, we're aboard

Oh mommy!

Hey Santo, where did this
lovely woman come from?

Are they alive?

Where are your manners?

Let me go, I have to
save my godfather

He's next to you,
looks like he's coming to

He pulled us out
of the water?

It was none other than I

I'm dead, I'm dead!

The devil, the devil!

Who shaved this devil?

What do you mean
shaved devil?

I'm Carlitos, the devil's
guardian, I mean Santo's,

who taught him to defend
himself against his enemies

and pulled you, out
of the ocean

I'm Marcos, Carlitos' friend

Who are you and why were
you thrown into the sea?

I am Chanoc

and this grumpy old man

is my godfather Tsekub

I'm not old, I'm not old! The
sea's old and it's still wet!

We're here to defend
Mexico's marine wildlife,

principally the seals
and the sea lions

From what I see we're not
well regarded by the poachers

who would have killed us

if it weren't for the assistance
of you and the masked man

By the way, where is
he? I'd like to thank him

Give them to Carlitos, he's the
one who pulled you out of the sea

I don't like being in
trouble, I hate violence

I'm here because my parents
asked me to follow Carlitos

on a trip around the world,
no more than that

We're grateful to Carlitos
and the masked man,

but we'd be even more grateful
if you took us to a hotel,

- we're totally bushed
- Of course we'll take you,

a man of your age would be
exhausted

after everything that's
happened

Look Methuselah,

back on land

two blondes are waiting for me,
they're shaped just like this

Bah, what would you know
about it?

What do I know?
I know I want you to share

Of course, I'm only
Santo's representative,

but I taught him to wrestle,

I launched his career,
I made him champion!

And I'm Chanoc's godfather

Though we're the same age

I trained him and taught
him everything he knows

Oh, you're here Chanoc?
Isn't that all true Chanoc?

If you say it then it
must be true godfather

Won't you introduce me
to your friends?

Of course!

They're Marcos and Chanoc

Our delicious and
delectable friends here

are Dolores and Isabel

She's my favourite

Sit down boys, sit

They told us what you're
here for and we'd like to help

though I'm only here
to accompany my brother Jan

and Isabel who works
at the cabaret

So you're the
sister of Mr. Lopez,

the one who came to
buy precious stones, right?

I think I know
your friend Isabel too,

I've heard her sing somewhere

It's no easy thing to
forget such a lovely girl

Alright, alright, but we
mustn't keep Chanoc and Tsekub

waiting too long since they have
to go and find their attackers

Don't be selfish,
don't be selfish!

It's true, you'll have
to excuse us

Where are you going?

We don't know the city

and honestly I have no idea
where to start

Listen boys, why don't
you go to the Cesar Bar?

My brother goes there,
he says everyone does

That's a good suggestion.

I think we'll be seeing
each other again soon

Let's go

I'll leave my hat
and glasses with you

Don't get too burned

- Bye Tsekub
- You'll see

Tsekub, sit down

- I'd like a-
- Two sodas please

We're gonna rust

Too bad, I guess I'll
just have to deal with it

Do you recognize
any of the clients?

I haven't even had the
chance to settle in,

how do you expect me to
recognize someone?

- Listen friend?
- Yes?

Maybe you can help us

We want to buy some
animal skins,

you know what I mean

We only sell fine drinks here,

it was only by chance
that I found those sodas

and now it'd be best
if you paid me and left

Do you know those gorillas
that just went by?

- Are they from around here?
- I don't know.

It's 50 pesos, pay me

What a grouch

Let's go kid, there's
nothing to be had here

Let me go, let me go

I'm gonna kill those thugs,
you see what I did to them?

I just got up and they ran
like the devil was after them

Let's help the masked man who's
timely arrival saved our lives

Geez, another masked man?

He disappeared

I had three of my enemies
right in front of me,

one of them pulled
out a gun, the Killer,

and then she said

"Hold it!
Stay there or I'll kill you"

I stood as still as a statue

But buddy, don't you trust me?

Why didn't you call me,

you know I'm as good in a fight
as I am in a party

You're always messing
things up

I think it's time to
go see that cabaret

Forgive us for leaving,

but we already had plans to
go with the boys to the cabaret

We'll see you tomorrow
at the pool

Shall we?

We woo them
and they take them

Don't worry Carlitos,
we'll find us some blondes,

some white women,
some Americans,

those don't cause a fuss

You know,

I hypnotize them
with this Greek profile

Sure Apollo

- I'm not a boxer
- Oh lord, he lacks culture!

To be honest
I think I like him better

To be honest it's not the first
time someone leaves me for him

Carlitos isn't any
different really

Just what I needed, for you
to run off with an old timer

but I swear I'll leave him
here to take care of Tsekub

That's a very good idea

Good evening, hello

All of your brother's
friends look like thieves

They're not his friends, he
just does business with them

You aren't in very good
company either,

you always end up
fighting with them

Jan is a real gentleman

This is my number,
I'll dedicate it to you

Shall we dance?

- Would you permit me?
- This is my song

And I don't want Dolores' brother
Jan to come and interrupt us,

why don't I just take
you for a ride in my car?

I accept, but shouldn't we tell
the others so they can come too?

Let's go

I'm inviting you for a
ride in my car, shall we?

Let's go

Tell us the story of the
famous vampires of Tijuana

Well people say that many men
have been found dead

close to the graveyard

and the strangest thing is
that when they did the autopsies

they discovered that they didn't
have a drop of blood in them

They also found two holes
in their necks,

like the fangs of a vampire,

through which they think
the blood was sucked out

There are vampires
in my country too

They look like mice
but they attack men

They also like sucking
the juice out of animals

These aren't small, some
people have seen them in flight

and they say that they're
much bigger than man

Oh wow, how horrible

Bi-i-bigger than a man?

I wouldn't want to run into them!

Don't be afraid Charlie,

human type vampires don't
exist here or in America,

they live in Europe,
in Transylvania

That's what they said in Tijuana

until all those guys turned up dead

Let's talk about something else,

dead things make my teeth chatter

That must be skeletons Charlie,

we're talking about vampires

Yes, vampires

You got me all wet Charlie

Carlitos is right,
we should keep drinking

We need another drink, Tijuana is
too far away to go get one there

More milk, I'm turning into
a sheep here

Let's go before it gets any later

He's right, I have to go

Wait, I'll go with you

Since you drank the milk you're
going to have to pay for it,

we're going to milk
the money out of you

Who am I going with?

I wanna go with the woman
from the other day

Don't you fall down Tsekub

This is one of the first missions
created in Baja California

and also one of
the best preserved

Now let's go see if we can
hear something

Tonight I have to be
in Tijuana, you hear?

You'll sell the merchandise
tomorrow at 3 during the low tide

and you'll bring the money to
me in Tijuana, I'll be waiting

- How's it going boys?
- Hello

Just looking at the mission?

Yes sir, or to be more specific,
admiring it

just as we admire the men
who built it

Be sure to visit the
church, it's very interesting

- I'll be seeing you
- So long

I told you, that man is a
prime suspect

He might be the boss of the group
that acts against the sea lions

but I'll be there at
low tide to expose him

Will you come with me?

You're not jealous, are you?

How can you say that,
you heard it too, right?

If you're afraid I can just
get Tsekub to come with me

I'll go with you anyway, but
first I have to ask for a favour

You know I hate violence and
Carlitos made me promise him

that I'd join the Son of Santo
in a tag team match tomorrow

His partner got sick and-

And you want me to go
instead of you

Alright, agreed

I knew you would,

and now let's go because the
girls must be waiting for us by now

Oh, by the way, don't say a word

to Delores about your suspicions
about her brother, alright?

Alright

We finished, now we can
go for a ride

Dolores and I had an idea

- Oh? And what's that?
- You have to have a job

so no one knows what
you're doing here

A job? Like what?

You'll sing with me
in the cabaret

After hearing you I'm sure
you won't make us look bad

Another job, today's second

What did you say?
I thought you'd be happy

Of course I am

This way I'll be able to spend
more time with you,

now let's go,
they're waiting for us

Let's go, we have to keep
checking out social centres

Th-th-thinking about more
milk today makes me feel

like what I drank last night is
going come out of my ears

That's because you're an idiot,
um, I mean idiotically dedicated

Well, off to work

Help me

Don't push me, calm down, easy

Oh mother,
I'm drowning, I'm drowning

Let's go through here,
follow me

Did you bring the merchandise?

There's the money

- Let's go
- Don't, they might kill you

Let's follow them, we
finally know where to find Jan

It won't start, give me a hand

It's useless, they took
the distributor cap

Let's try to catch up to Jan!

Now they've foiled us Marcos,

the match starts at 8 and we
won't get there on time walking

I think we both win then,

you because you won't
have to fight

and me because I won't have
to watch that violent spectacle

We should start walking if we
don't want to spend the night here

Follow

So you prefer to sleep
in the car, right?

Damned old man,
I bet your godson got scared

and he won't ever come

Oh yeah Charlie,
then what happened

with your famous Son of Santo,

haven't you noticed
he hasn't come either?

The Son of Santo has no fear,

he's like his father, invincible

And besides, that doesn't matter

What do you mean it doesn't
matter, do you think my cub

is going to wrestle alone?

What do you mean alone,
what do you mean solo?

Don't you remember
that I taught both

the father and the son?

Sure, all that was left
was the holy spirit, amen

And besides, I have a mask,

with that I'll replace him
in the ring

and I don't see who can
fill in for Chanoc

You think so?

No, I'll be your partner
and I'll protect you

We'll see who's who in the ring

Remember that I'm
the ace of powerslams

Oh yeah, well I'm the
prince of beatdowns

Hey Tsekub,

are those patented?

They're advertising

- Look at that car
- That's why you brought me

The Son of Santo told me
to give you this mask

and these boots for you to wear

Where is he?

He's outside, but he wanted you to
hurry because he's headed to the ring

Alright buddy, I'll hurry

I'll go find a good spot
to watch the match

Good luck

Respected audience,
your attention please

These two poor devils

are only pretending to be the
Son of Santo and his partner

Just a moment people,
the real ones are on their way

The Son of Santo and
Blue Shadow

Yes my friends, we've just
received the news

that the previous duo were not the
Son of Santo and the Blue Shadow

I grabbed my enemy's leg and gave
it a bite worthy of a chainsaw

That wasn't your enemy's leg!

That was my leg when
I was going after mine

Oh, my poor leg

Tsekub, has he come back?

The Son of Santo
wanted to say goodbye

He just got dressed and left

I want to see him too,

if it wasn't for us they couldn't
have beaten them

- What?
- We tired them out!

Help me up

I wish you hadn't helped me

Kill him

Hold it!

Well, everyone says

that vampires have all
of Tijuana terrorized

What happened kiddo?

Where have you been cub, I
looked for you all over the hotel

Following this briefcase

It's the same briefcase that
Jan used to pay for the gems,

where did you find it?

The man who had to deliver
it to Tijuana was carrying it.

who died accidentally by
the way, and it has the money

Why don't you give it
to the police?

Do you need it for something?

Of course I do,

since I saw the gems
my suspicions have been confirmed

This isn't just about the
sale of sea lion skins,

there's something larger
and more dangerous here,

and besides, I've been able
to perceive the sinister hand

that guides all this,
the hand of the Mafia

- The Ma-ma-ma
- You're always talking about your mother,

the Mafia has none

So what do you plan to do?

he truth is we have to deliver this
briefcase to its destination in Tijuana

I can't do it because they
know what I look like

They know what I look like too

Carlitos is the one for the job

Sadly I can't do it either,

my mission is to take care
of Marcos, you see

Marcos, I think you can help
us deliver this briefcase

which will take us to the
head of the organization

who I want to meet
and destroy

Though I dislike violence
I'll do as you ask

I'll take the briefcase

While we wait here

Watching and taking
care of the girls

You'll have to come with
us to watch our backs

and besides,
I have a mission for you

- We'll help you
- Just leave it to us

You'll have to go
to the graveyard

to investigate
that vampire rumour

I think that has a connection
with our case

Why don't you just
turn that briefcase in?

I'm not afraid
of dead people,

but we don't want anything
to do with vampires,

right Tsekub?

You go, we stay,

if you need help
we'll give it to you

- Call us at 1154
- Or at the hotel

- Aren't you nervous?
- No

I know you'll be listening

and it's my turn to
dedicate a song to you

I was expecting you would

So now you know I like you a lot

I knew that, that's why Dolores
and I decided to help you

even Jan has promised to once
he comes back from Tijuana

So Jan is in Tijuana

I should have figured

I'll probably see him there

Thanks to your company
I've had a marvellous time

Me too, it's a shame my
vacation is nearly over

We'll be leaving as soon as
Jan comes back

Then this could be
our last night together,

let's enjoy it

- Where's Chanoc?
- He's over there. Chanoc!

Coming

Tonight you'll go to the graveyard
to find the fabled vampires

while Marcos and I will go
to the nightspots to find Pete

Look cub, why don't
Carlitos and I

go to the nightspots

and you two go visit all those bones
in their dirt beds, what do you say?

Of course, we're used to
those sorts of investigations

and besides, I want to taste
the milk in every bar in Tijuana

We're not going to
argue about it,

we had agreed
you'd go look for the dead

They're really serious
and don't talk much

The dead, we just agreed
to look for vampires!

Oh mommy, I don't like this

Now now, don't start with
your mommy again Charlie

We're brave and audacious,
we'll stand up to the dead!

...and the vampires

I want to stay here and look after
Marcos, his parents asked me to

There's no danger
where I'm going Carlitos,

but Tsekub might need
a brave man's help

He's supposed to help me
against the vampires?

No way, what you want is that
we dig our own graves,

that's what you want

I did what I promised, I want
you to leave me alone for good

We'll see

You're all useless,

I'll have to go back to Loreto
to fix things personally

and I expect you to be
there when I arrive

I'll be there if you need me

You better

It's better if they don't
see us together

I'll follow Jan
while you talk to Pete

You first

You first

Youth goes first

Why not age?

Help me

Give me your foot, give me your foot!

It's easier on this side

Lift your foot

Give me your hand Tsekub, now up

- I can't
- Have to be in first gear Tsekub

May I sit?
I have something to tell you

Alright, sit down and
be quick, I'm in a hurry

You're waiting for
a friend, right?

What do you know?

I have the briefcase
with the money

You better give it to me
immediately or you'll regret it

Relax if you want
to see it again

Alright, what do you
want for it?

Nothing, your friend
gave it to me

and made me swear I'd
only give it to one person

Then give it to me

No, not to you, to the boss

You'll give it to me
or face the consequences

If something happens to me

neither you nor your boss
will receive it

and he wouldn't like that, right?

You win, but give me some
proof that you have it

The briefcase has
500 thousand big ones,

our friend made me count them
in his presence

Very well, the boss in Loreto

We'll see each other there
in three days, agreed?

I'll be there

Oh Tsekub,

the va-va-vampires!

- Those are some big mice
- We have to go hide Tsekub, this way

This way, this way!

There's the vampires, let's get out
of here Tsekub, let's get out of here!

Wait for me!

Teskub, it's me,
Carlitos, your Charlie

Your bald head convinced
me, give me your white hand

Give me the keys St. Peter!

I'm St. Charlie, and let's get out
of here before the vampires see us

Let's go

Don't move or I'll kill you

Miss, Miss, it's an
emergency, get me the police

Police, they've just
kidnapped my friend Dolores

So in three days we have
to meet the boss in Loreto

What a coincidence,

Jan is heading to Loreto tomorrow,
they told me at his hotel

You think he's the leader or
are you just jealous again?

We'll see in Loreta, but
before doing anything else-

Mission accomplished
cub, mission accomplished

The vampires exist!

They attacked us furiously
at the graveyard

If it wasn't for me

Carlitos wouldn't
have gotten out of there alive

The truth is I got out of there
more alive than dead

because of the deceased

The vampires didn't scare me

and I kept them
from sucking on Tsekub

and leaving his bones drier
than a popsicle stick

Don't get carried away
bowling ball head

Calm down brush face

Enough godfather, that's enough

And now tell me,
did you see the vampires?

We saw the vampires flying, just
as if they were in first class

And they're bigger than anything!

Where were they coming from?

I don't know exactly,

but I saw them with these two
eyes that the worms nearly ate

They didn't ask you that Charlie

They're from the north,
they're American vampires

They're pale and
bloodthirsty tourists

I have to go find those vampires
tomorrow night, will you come?

Though you know I find violence
repugnant, I'll go with you

just to prove that
vampires don't exist

They do, they do!

They're horrid, hairy,

big headed and smelly

They have hands like
giant spiders

and fangs that were
as long as my fingers

Good afternoon

Sit, please

Tell me,

to what do I owe the honour

You know what I'm here for

It's been over 24 hours since
my friend Dolores was kidnapped

and you haven't been able
to find her

This isn't as easy as you think

We've been investigating
and haven't found a lead

But if you don't find her
soon they might kill her

Believe me, we're doing everything
possible but it's not easy

We know the local people very well

We're sure that this attack
was carried out by a foreigner

So what are you waiting for?

You know there's a large
population of drifters

In Puerto Escondido alone there
are 5000 Americans camping,

and many more
in the whole region,

so it's hard knowing who did
it and where they have her

You haven't told me anything new

Maybe she went with her brother
and just hasn't turned up yet

I told you those men took her
in my presence while Jan was gone

Perhaps he had her kidnapped

Don't be silly, I know Jan well

and I know he's not
capable of doing that

I'm sure he'll clear
everything up when he gets back

Alright, we'll wait for
him to come back

if he comes back

You're all useless,
you're good for nothing!

Will they come tonight?

Sure they'll come,
luck is with us

You're a coward buddy

You let your cub go off alone
to have his blood drained

I'm no coward and my godson
is no soft drink,

you're a coward a coward for letting
Marcos go get his blood sucked

It's one thing to send him
to the red cross,

but you sent him to the mice,
the big mice,

they're real vampires!

Maybe you're right,
let's go help our boys

who can't defend themselves!

You're right buddy,

we should beat those vampires
up again and leave them for the kids

Though I think it'd be a better
idea to wait a little while more

and then go scare them

Oh Carlitos, that's brilliant,
the greatest idea ever

Come here, my little Carlito's,
my shiny headed genius

Why don't we toast on it Tsekub?

Look, there they go

They really look like vampires

- Should we go after them?
- Let's go

We have them, we have them!

We got here on time to
knock these bloodsuckers out

Tsekub, look what they have,

I knew they were smugglers

This is surely the way to
get the gems across the border

Well done boys, shame you didn't
tell us everything you knew,

it would have kept us
from staying up late

You have to
do something, right?

What's that buddy?

If we don't teach them
they'll never learn

C'mon Charlie, let's have some
fun, this looks like a good place

Tsekub, there's the targets

No, don't part it in the
middle, they'll recognize you

But just seeing them
makes my hair stand on end

You're head is as bald
as an egg

I don't have much hair,
but what's there is fine

You heard about Dolores, right?

No, we just got here

We only went to the hotel
for a shower

and then we came to the
cabaret, what happened?

Two days ago some men kidnapped
her from our hotel room

when we went back to sleep.
She hasn't come back

The police hasn't been
able to find her

And has Jan come back?

Yes, he came back yesterday.

He's been going crazy
waiting for news at the hotel

This is all very strange,

but don't worry, Marcos came
back with me and we'll fix this

Alright, but you have to sing,

you agreed to do it

Sure, but don't worry,
everything will be fine

Don't forget to carry out
the orders to the letter

I'll wait for you at the
hotel lobby tomorrow at 8

to take you to the boss

I'll be there

Is he me, or I am I him?

He's better buffed
than you are

She looks like a cactus

My briefcase!
Give me my briefcase!

Are you the boss?

We have him,
we'll make him confess!

Let's go

I'll wait here

You can't do this to me,
I'll report you to the police!

Here you have the boss

I told you all along,
he's the boss

I said it first

Isabel, tell them to let me go,

I have to get the briefcase
with the money,

only that way will they
give me my sister back alive

Please tell them to let me go

Let him go!
Let him go I say!

You heard her, let him go

Hold it,

don't move from here until I get
back unless you want to ruin things

if you haven't already,
and you wait here please

It's better if you
wait here with me

I told you he was the boss

I said it first

Is that the money?

Yes, but I told you I'd
only give it to the boss

He's waiting. Follow me

Boss, this is the man
who has the briefcase

So you're the leader
of the gang

involved in the smuggling
of skin and jewels

Yes, give me the briefcase

Give me some proof
you're the boss

The briefcase

- Let's go
- No one's leaving here

Take care of him

Grab me, don't let go!

Look at your money,

just trash

Everything's over

Remember,

the Mafia never forgives

Let's go

Thank you Marcos

Cut it out,
you're making us nervous

We have to leave immediately,

they're holding her captive
on the island

and her guards
have orders to kill her

That's what the boss said?

That's what he said

Let's go, what are
you waiting for?

Wait, it's very dangerous that
they see us arrive together

The best thing would be if Marcos
and I go alone and surprise them

Let's go

I want to go too

Hold him until we come back

Sit down, sit down

It's better to do as they say,

I'm sure everything
will turn out fine

What's wrong?

I'm thirsty

I'm tired, untie me please

You know what our orders are

Yes, but I don't think
a man as strong

as you are would be afraid
of a weak woman

Alright, I don't think you
can get off the island anyway,

but remember,
you have to stay near me

Agreed, now please untie me

Why did you take so long?

So we discovered the boss
when we went to the graveyard

And we also discovered
where Dolores was

Let's go boys

Hurry, we're saying goodbye

Now we've really
been beaten buddy

The End

Translation: Turdis
July 2009