Caught in a Landslide (2017) - full transcript

Destruction is as
destruction does,

but destructiveness
means we cared enough.

Destructive ways
and endless tears,

even the realization
of unwanted fears.

Destruction is,
destruction reigns.

In a vision of life,
a never ending game.

How I wish you'd hit me
so I can feel the rage,

still read the books, still
love you, the next page.

Destruction is because
destruction is real.

We are only destruct
when we really feel.

I am in agony, I am in pain.



I want it no other way.

For as long as I hurt,
then we'll both stay.

Destruction is your
lips upon mine too

and I will love you on and
on til you come through.

And you lied and you cried
and I know you love me.

The things you do are
a reflection of you.

Destruction does as
destruction is let

and I'll dry your eyes
after you have wept.

Break me, take me,
love me, and hate

and we'll still embrace
while we're in this state.

Destruction is mine,
destruction is yours,

two broken people,
a costly cause.

And you don't want to cry.

Your heart wants to not beat



but destruction is mine
and it's your love I keep.

Destruction burns,
destruction holds on,

either way you want to look,
it's the love, hate so wrong?

It's so messed up
but it feels so real.

If you took my heart
then it's yours oh still.

Destruction creates,
destruction takes,

destruction's ours
until we both break.

It was written in stone,
it was on the wall

and we can't escape the
damage because it's too tall.

Destruction is you,
destruction is me.

It happened now, so
we'll never be free.

You can run and so can I,

but it will never remove
all the tears we cried.

Destruction is me and you.

Destruction my love,
through and through.

And I guess I'm sick
because I'd do it all again.

The only question now
is where and when.

I'm so fed up of the
never ending forest

that I see upon my ceiling.

I'm tired of all the
places that are no longer

accompanied by the faces.

I'm lonely.

I'm lovesick.

You met him by the hospital bed,

a fictional lie one
from within your head.

You said the words,
you had to stick.

It wasn't him, it was
you that was sick.

I hate those lies,
hate how I'm blind,

but I'm sick enough
to love your mind.

You'll eat my heart
and chew my brain,

loving you, how could I abstain?

I hate your lies, but
I'm still listening.

After the war,
again we're kissing.

I'll chase you, just
like you chase me.

I'll taste you, just
as you taste me.

I hate those lies,
hate how I'm blind,

but I'm sick enough
to love your mind.

What do you give me?

Absolutely nil.

But I'll keep going,
love you still.

You love me, you know you do.

It's okay because
I love you too.

I'll save you when
you feel mental

because to feel your
pain is my essential.

Nothing makes me come
like a loving stream

we've destroyed each other.

It's serene.

I'm your item or
at least you think

mind games, cat and
mouse, that's our link.

You miss me and I miss you,

but what do we miss?

There's nothing to do.

We've killed each other.

We went too far.

Love extremities,
we raised the bar.

I hate those lies.

I hate how we're blind,

to a love so sick it
crossed a new line.

Why do I feel we'll
both never be free?

We'll destroy each other
to the 10th degree.

(cap striking floor)

(exhaling)

(gulping)

(exhaling)

(gulping)

(swallowing)

And you called it destruction.

I remember,

stood there,

looking me right in the eye,

and you said to me,

we are so destructive.

And that's when I left,

along the long country roads

with destruction still
reigning in my mind.

Through the tunnel,

with the amber glow,

all the way home,

to where I'm stuck now.

Back to old habits, cheers.

(gulping)

(sniffing)

(gulping)

I keep seeing that
bridge in my mind,

but I don't see it
at nighttime anymore.

I don't see the last duck
swimming off into the moonlight.

I see everything in daylight,

where you can see all the
rust and the chipped paint

of my childhood retreat
that I shared with you.

Can see the moss growing.

And it doesn't
look so attractive.

Throughout that
glow of the moon,

I see everything.

I see everything, but not
in the way it should be.

Some version of events
that's been tainted.

England's garden is wilting.

Greenhouse have been
left to rot and die.

But I want the real glory back.

I want to feel that
sun on my skin.

You took that from me,

something so perfect,

detonated,

with our destruction.

♪ Come on baby, let's get down ♪

♪ And fuck it up tonight ♪

♪ I know together we will
never get this right ♪

♪ I know by the time the
moon and it's daylight ♪

♪ We'll be in another
lonely fight ♪

♪ So come on ♪

♪ Fail with me ♪

♪ Come on ♪

♪ Baby ♪

♪ I said come on ♪

♪ Fail with me ♪

♪ Come on ♪

♪ Baby ♪

♪ Ohh ♪

♪ Ohh ♪

♪ I don't really know you
and you don't know me ♪

♪ So how can we
possibly ever see ♪

♪ I don't think that we'll
last together through this ♪

♪ I don't think
we'll get married ♪

♪ I don't believe in bliss ♪

♪ So come on ♪

♪ Fail with me ♪

♪ Come on ♪

♪ Baby ♪

♪ I said come on ♪

♪ Fail with me ♪

♪ Come on ♪

♪ Baby ♪

♪ Ohh ♪

♪ Ohh ♪

♪ Ohh ♪

♪ Ohh ♪

♪ Come on ♪

♪ Fail with me ♪

♪ Come on ♪

♪ Baby ♪

♪ I said come on ♪

♪ Fail with me ♪

♪ Come on ♪

♪ Baby ♪

(sighing)

Jay.

Are you all right?

(chuckling)

What.

I'm sorry.

What, I didn't mean
anything, I didn't,

there's nothing.

It was nothing.

I didn't do anything.

Nothing happened.

It didn't mean anything.

I love you.

I love you.

You asked me if I'm all right.

Do I look all right?

(whispering)
- No.

How many more
times are you gonna

slip into my dreams every night?

I don't want to do
this every night.

I'm so lonely.

You know the nights of dreams
and you turn up at my door.

I've missed you.

I've missed you.

I've been so lonely at home,

on my own, a big bed,

every night, I dream about you,

showing up at my door.

Get off me.

You know, this reminds
me of something.

First weekend I met you,

sad little Italian
cafe on the corner,

smell of the coffee,

and you sat across
the table from me,

with that same
look in your eyes.

I should have known all along.

What do you mean,
what look in my eyes?

What are you talking about?

That puppy look you do.

What are you saying?

I fall for it every time.

And here you are every night,

giving me that same look.

What are you saying?

I'm not lying to you.

I'm not lying to you.

I love you.

I mean it.

Nothing happened, we,

(sighing)

but,

nothing happened, okay?

I'm with you, all right?

I'm with you.

I'm with you.

I'm not lying to you.

I'm with you.

Why are you looking
at me like that?

(somber music)

♪ I was wasting time with you ♪

♪ I was looking for
something true ♪

♪ Heaven knows what to do ♪

♪ And now I'm heading
to the north ♪

♪ Baby want to
head to the north ♪

♪ I'm so sorry it hurts ♪

♪ And I still feel responsible ♪

♪ For all those things
that happened to you ♪

♪ I'm so sorry, babe ♪

♪ But I was too far away ♪

♪ I was too far away ♪

♪ To save you then ♪

♪ Do you think of
me, when you are ♪

♪ Lying in your bed ♪

♪ Lying in your bed ♪

♪ Do you think of me, baby ♪

♪ Do you think of me ♪

♪ Early morning rest ♪

♪ Early morning rest ♪

♪ Do you think of me, baby ♪

♪ Cause I think of you ♪

♪ Oh I think of you ♪

♪ Do you think of
me, when you are ♪

♪ Do you think of
me, when you are ♪

♪ Do you think of
me, when you are ♪

♪ Lying in your bed ♪

♪ Lying in your bed ♪

♪ Do you think of me, baby ♪

♪ Do you think of me ♪

♪ Early morning rest ♪

♪ Early morning rest ♪

♪ Lying in your bed ♪

♪ Lying in your bed ♪

(somber instrumental music)

(startled gasping)

(hyperventilating)

(coughing)

(gasping)

(breathing deeply)

(groaning)

(hyperventilating)

(breathing deeply)

(whispering) One,

two,

three,

five,

six,

seven,

eight.

(gulping)

Jay,

I need to speak to you.

(whispering) I love you.

I love you.

Would you just
shut the fuck up?!

(laughing)

Why do you listen to me?

Come in here every night,

invading any sleep that
I manage to fucking get.

Always the same, isn't it?

Sorry.

I love you.

Oh how much you miss me.

It's all self-indulgent.

Are you actually sorry?

Cause I tend to spend
most of my nights here

listening to you go on
about how lonely you are,

about how much I
need to come back.

Is that for you?

What about me?

What about my
fucking loneliness?

What about the fact
that I am on my own

dealing with this shit?

At least you got to walk away

with the memory that
I actually loved you,

that everything I said
was actually true.

You unknowingly saved my life.

Before meeting you,
drinking every night,

sedatives,

and then I turn up
in a small village

or maybe you'd disappear
together for a summer,

no one else around,
just me and you.

And we'd get to know
each other completely

or so I thought.

But walking got easier.

My breathing got easier.

You made me healthy.

You had everything I wanted,

every dream I spoke of that
you wouldn't recognize,

that we could be and
we could have anything.

A house one day,

marriage,

walking off into
the sunset together.

It sounds like the stupidest
bullshit romance story ever.

And I was stupid enough
to truly believe it.

I was going to walk in
greens garden with you,

forever,

just me and you.

Thanks for fucking
up my visional life.

I know what love is.

But do you?

What is it?

What's love?

[Jay] Mmhmm.

Love?

That night you took
me to the blue bridge,

that amazing, amazing night,
you took me to the blue bridge.

For the first time in my life,

I felt true serenity.

When you held my hand,

and the moon shining on that,

the light bouncing
off that stream while

we were together,
just me and you,

just me and you, nobody else.

That night was like
Heaven on Earth for me.

That was love.

I felt love that night.

That night was incredible.

It was the best
night of my life.

It's just,

It just seems so unreal.

I've never experienced
that before in my life.

You're my whirlwind, okay?

You kind of bought into
my life like a whirlwind.

I didn't know, I
didn't know what to do.

I didn't know how to react
to those feelings, okay?

I've never experienced
that before.

It seemed so unreal.

It was like Heaven on Earth,

that night with
you, it was like,

stepping outside of reality.

Yes,

I do, I love you, man.

You're my beautiful,
beautiful, handsome guy.

I love you, okay?

And that was amazing,
that night was incredible.

That's what love was for me.

That was true love to me.

And I'm sorry.

Is that just cause someone

shat all over your
dreams once upon a time?

Shit life of mine and the

the abused does indeed
become the abuser.

You think we were living
inside of a dream?

Well I'm living inside of
a fucking nightmare now.

And you're my ghost.

(gulping)

Fuck off.

I don't care.

I'll find someone else.

Easily done.

You did.

This is temporary because
pain is temporary, right?

It won't last forever.

Just nothing else does.

Yeah, fuck off.

Fuck off, out of my head.

Take your summer walks
and your blue bridge

and your persistent haunting me,

stick it up your fucking ass.

I don't need you.

I never needed you.

That

is a crock of shit.

(somber music)

♪ Caught in a landslide ♪

♪ I was wasting summertime ♪

♪ You were such a crime ♪

♪ To waste my life ♪

♪ Caught in a landslide ♪

♪ Caught in the nick of time ♪

♪ Caught in a land ♪

♪ Caught in a land ♪

♪ Caught in a landslide ♪

♪ Caught in a landslide ♪

♪ You were the one
to waste my life ♪

♪ Caught in a landslide ♪

♪ You wanted all my time ♪

♪ Caught in a landslide ♪

♪ You were the one
to waste my life ♪

♪ Caught in a land ♪

♪ Caught in a land ♪

♪ Caught in a landslide ♪

(somber instrumental music)

♪ Caught in a land ♪

♪ Caught in a land ♪

♪ Caught in a landslide ♪

♪ Caught in a land ♪

♪ Caught in a land ♪

♪ Caught in a landslide ♪

♪ Caught in a landslide ♪

♪ You wanted all my time ♪

♪ Caught in a landslide ♪

I just seem to keep floating

and floating with the stream.

If I turn on my front,
I could just lose oxygen

and then float lifelessly.

But they said, you can't
drown yourself in a bath.

I just seem to float,

just carried by the tide.

Every little piece of me
has succumbed to the died.

But they said, you can't
get anywhere unless you try.

As I float, you seem
to float behind me,

no matter how much I try to
paddle the stream to get away.

Why do you float
behind me still?

I really don't know why.

You seem to float
in your own way,

chasing me downstream.

I'd have thought you'd given
up and died a bit like me,

but they say you can't
drown yourself in a bath.

We seem to float
competitively to get away,

but we chase at the same time.

How does that even work?

How can you want to swim,
but give in to floating?

You can't drown yourself
in a bath by force

because the lung's breath
will bring you out.

So you float by my side.

You did once.

Now we just limbo along.

How long does this go on?

You know, this limbo along?

You can't drown
yourself in a bath,

but I'll try if you do.

Let's refer to it as
a message in a bottle

how am I here going to saint?

How many floating tides will
bring a misery message to me?

You drown yourself,
not because of me.

That was your shipwreck.

Your floating is you as you
seem to want to drown upon me.

I bottomed your water
once until you defied me.

And you know, I really can't
drown myself in a bath.

For a time I didn't float.

I drowned and
drowned and drowned,

not in a bath, don't be stupid.

It was an ocean, a
merciless tsunami.

We sat naked in the tub once

and I held you by candlelight.

You seemed to float.

You float to me.

I reject you.

I don't want to.

I have to.

How many times did
you push me upstream?

If love was a bath, then
you forcibly drowned me

time and time again.

You see, in a bath, you
can't float so well.

There's not enough room,

especially with two
of us in the tub.

The gentle soft
bath, so corrupt,

you can drown me in a bath,

but I can't hold
my own head under.

You seem to want me
to pull you to shore

to stop this floating.

Every time I needed
pulling to shore,

something else
required your devotion.

But maybe you can drown
yourself in a bath.

I wanted to stop floating.

I still do.

The stream just carries me off,

but those cat-like
reflexes just pull you up

by nature's last breath because

you really can't drown
yourself in a bath.

In the stream you can drown.

You can lose energy paddling.

We've lost energy.

We're sinking.

We're drowning.

Thank fuck for the stream

because you can't drown
yourself in a bath.

[Man] That reminds me of
this woman I used to know.

She was ancient uh,

when I first met her.

And this was back in
'85 or '86, I guess.

Don't know where I ran into her.

I mean, it could have been
an AA meeting or something.

She never seemed to like
me, that I do remember,

which wasn't too unusual
back that because

nobody really liked me.

But I liked her for some reason.

I think it was because
something was on her mind.

I ended up at her house.

Now, I'm not sure if she
had a meeting there or what,

but there I was in her
powder blue living room

with the plastic slip
covers over everything

like it was 1974 and
she had one of those

ankle biter dogs,
growled at me every time

I so much as scratched my nose.

Her name was Jean and
she made me tea and

she was listening to me
whine like a baby about

all the things going
on in my life and

problems with the boyfriend,
fighting for my job,

problems with the parents,
and God knows what else.

I went on for who
knows how long and

when I finally ran out of steam,

she didn't say anything.

I mean, she simply
reached down and

picked up her purse,
rummaged through it,

and took her keys out.

Well honey, I have
a full tank of gas

and all the time in the world.

Let's go out and take care
of all these problems.

What do you say?

I looked at her.

I said, seeing as there's
nothing we can do about it now.

She stared at me, hooked her
hand to her ear and said,

what was that?

I was about to repeat
myself when it struck me

what she meant.

I don't remember very
much from 30 years ago,

but I remember that and I
think about it almost everyday.

Jay.

Hey, Jay.

What do you just need me to do?

We can do whatever we want.

Let's just do me and you.

(crashing)

Shut up, shut up, shut up!

Jay, it's going to be okay.

Just me and you, we can be okay.

It can't be okay.

Nothing ever goes back
to the way it was.

That's life.

It can, it can.

We had an amazing
summer together.

We can have an amazing
winter together.

I saw this Christmas market.

I imagined me and you holding
hands just walking around.

We can do that.

I want you back.

As I sit here,

do you know what keeps
playing out in my mind?

Sunny day.

Tom Bridge, High Street,

me and you walking along

like nothing else in
the world mattered.

One of our road trips.

And I felt you this
close to my ear.

For a minute I wondered
what you were doing

and you whispered, unprompted
for the first time,

I love you.

And I burst inside

cause I truly believed it.

And in that moment,
I think you meant it.

But,

you've always been
selfish with your love.

Things can change.

People can change.

Won't you listen to me.

I'm not a ghost.

I'm real.

You can have me.

If you're not a ghost,
then why are you haunting me?

Jay, that vision
of life you had,

it's not over.

You're right,

it's not.

I live it every night.

And it's all
shattered to pieces.

(slow rock music)

♪ In the depths of
the night I rise ♪

♪ I just can't seem to get
with the rhythm of life ♪

♪ Early in the morning I find ♪

♪ Early in the morning
I feel so divine ♪

♪ Late at night,
I feel all right ♪

♪ Early in the morning
light, I feel divine ♪

♪ I can see through you ♪

♪ I can't tell you
with the light ♪

♪ I don't know what is right ♪

♪ I mean what I seem to
define my life in this light ♪

♪ And I don't know
which way is right ♪

♪ All I know baby is I can join
you in the rhythm of life ♪

♪ In the rhythm of life ♪

♪ Late at night,
I feel all right ♪

♪ Early in the morning
light, I feel divine ♪

♪ I can't seem to
enjoy my life ♪

♪ Early in the morning
light, I feel divine ♪

(slow instrumental rock music)

♪ Late at night,
I feel all right ♪

♪ Early in the morning
light, I feel divine ♪

♪ Divine ♪

You are just a ghost.

Extracted from my sights.

Ghost, how come so bitter?

Won't you help me get better?

You float translucent ghost.

Your presence is most profound.

Ghost of this time, ask
of God your hand, ground.

Ghost, I still stood here.

I've consecrated these parts,

all memories, fixtures, history,

protected from the start.

Ghost, you are so tedious.

Why do you still linger?

Is it because I
summon your spirit

while you don't lift a finger?

Ghost, glow, specter,
whatever is your name,

I keep repeating this ritual
and nothing ever changed.

Ghost, stop this haunting.

Stop shifting into shapes

for as long as you haunt me then

there's more to contemplate.

Ghost, I am here with the
hollowed ground beneath my feet

our loss is still my tension
and the grinding of my teeth.

Ghost, after you're gone,
your loss I am lamenting.

The daydreams I'm left with
are from stories I'm inventing.

Ghost, your touch is ice.

Will it ever again be warm?

It's the torment
of this haunting

that has me gaunt and worn.

Ghost why did you come?

What message do you deliver?

What frightening revelation
will give me that spinal shiver?

Ghost, I have no crystal ball,

no talent for me to read.

If anything is left unsaid,
then you must take the lead.

Ghost would you speak or at
least move around the letters

of the Ouija board?

Don't just appear nightly,
then leave me all ignored.

Ghost, yes you haunt me,

yes, you confuse me
with a loitering hush,

but silence and
attendance won't help me.

It's simply not enough.

Yes, you ghost, it's
you who sweeps in,

you who forgot me although
I still feel you on my skin.

Hair standing on end,
I'm not fabricating,

it's still you, ghost, who
has me inside breaking.

Ghost, I'll drink tonight,

some hell, some haunt,
some timeline of events,

then right back to the start.

Ghost, stop looking at me.

You don't feel the same.

I'm ice cold chilled and
there's torment in my brain.

Ghost, you won't say it.

You won't declare.

You are the ghost,
so why be scared?

There's so much to say.

Ghosts must dig deep and
before you apparition,

waiting by your feet.

Ghost how long has it
been since you've been

of mortal body?

Why be a spook when it
makes me melancholy?

Ghost, you are my future, you
are my present and my past.

These hauntings are spectacular,

their effect just seems to last.

Ghost, poltergeist, moving
thoughts around my mind.

Ghost, your light,
does it lead me blind?

Ghost, I misspoke, I
will set my soul free.

Ghost why with you
can that never be?

Ghost, it's terrifying,
it's frightening and insane.

Ghost, it's me, I'm here.

Do you even know my name?

Ghost, you are all
seeing, all knowing,

or supposed to be, so ghost,

what is my future?

What will happen to fumble me?

I crawl the holy ground,

the filthy mud sinking.

Why can't this specter just
tell me what it's thinking?

I rub the frozen ice before
me to see what has been etched

wondering if the
words will reverse

the diamond and the wretched.

Ghost, I sit before you,
possessed by the unexpected,

thinking of the possibilities
that have been neglected.

Ghost why do you still creep
around these lonely parts?

Ghost, you are translucent,
so I can't see your heart.

Ghost, can you tell me, do
you believe in resurrection?

Ghost, do you truly
have any real affection?

Ghost, do you have
too much pride

that you can't tell me truths?

Or ghost is this nothing more

than a good old fashioned spook?

Jay.

Jay.

You can wake up now.

You can get up off the floor.

You've been laid there too long.

It's time to get up.

You don't have to feel guilty
about how you're feeling.

It's fine to feel
that way sometimes.

But all these things you see,

while you're intoxicated,

and drifting away,

they're not real.

The ghost that sweeps in,

he's not real.

He just says all the things

that you want him to say,

all the apologies

that you'd wish you had.

All the memories,

they're not how they were.

They're tainted.

They're teasing you.

The blue bridge,

the woods,

all the locations that
you spent last summer in,

none of it's real.

Not anymore.

Jay,

it's time to get up.

It's time to heal.

It's time to be free.

In life,

we all have so many visions
of how we want it to be.

We all meet people
that change our worlds.

They give us possibilities.

They give us hope.

And when they
don't come through,

our world just seems to

shatter.

Too long have you spent
detesting yourself.

And all that
glitters is not gold.

It only felt good because
it made you forget you.

And as he became a ghost

and the summer turned to winter

it left you with only you.

It's time to love yourself.

It's time to move on.

Because you can't
change the past.

And even if your ghost
returned with an apology,

they would never
be the same again.

Jay,

get up off the floor.

You will never see him

again.

(gasping)

(hyperventilating)

I half drifted off
today, a near deep sleep,

a rare relaxing
sensation of serenity.

As you crossed my mind,

even in my zoned out state,

a gut wrenching painful
vision came to mind,

profoundly hurtful.

I'm never going
to see you again.

Yes,

I will never see you again.

For the rest of my
days, living, breathing,

my one shot at life.

I will never see you again.

Do you know how that
cuts like a knife?

Do you understand how
much my heart knots?

How my stomach trembles
and agony zaps into my mind

as I try to picture your face?

I'm never going
to see you again.

Do you know what it's like
to realize in a moment

the time and the ways, the way
we held hands in the woods,

the way we did
charity shop weekends,

hunting for those bargains?

The way I look at you in bed

and you'd look at me before we
made love between the sheets.

The loving way I would play

with the hair upon
your chest again?

The way I'll never lay my
weary head upon your lap

as you twitter with my hair,

trying so hard to rid
me of the vertigo,

that from time to time
leaves me unable to walk.

I don't want to forget
those woodlands.

I don't want to forget
the skies of the

beautiful British summer.

I don't want to
forget the last minute

supermarket sweeps to
plan our dinner together.

Remember the way, like savages,

we'd ravish the entire
contents of an ice cream tub?

Do you remember the
late to bed after

relentless hours of video
searching for ghost clips

and ultimate fails?

I will never see you again.

To me, that sentence as such has

never really sunk skin deep.

I will never see you again.

I will never share
a shower with you

as you wash my back
and I wash yours.

When I wash your back,
every stroke of skin

was connection
between me and you.

Every cuddle, every comforting
arm wrapped a shoulder,

every leg bare into the moment.

I will never see you again.

The very words eat away at me

because until today, I never
dreamed I accepted the meaning,

the reality that for
as long as I breath,

it will be without you.

You will never see me again.

Will you miss the way I
turn from serious to loving,

to fighting for our lives?

Will you miss me as
you once did pulling up

on the road in my red car?

Oh, I remember.

I remember a day when you
walked towards my car.

Love was across your face.

No one ever looked at
me like that before.

Will you miss the loving
whispers between us?

The way we said
goodnight before bed?

Will you miss not
being able to regulate

the loving words that spilled
from my mouth for you?

Do you miss those
trips to the shops?

For the dinner?

For the ice cream?

Do you miss having
someone to hold you

when one of your disgraceful
migraines came about?

Do you miss me?

I'll say it again.

I'll say it for
us, for everybody,

so everyone can
really stop for minute

and feel these words.

We will never see
each other again

for as long as we both live,

for as long as we walk the
unexpected steps of the Earth.

We will never look
into each other's eyes.

We won't get those
loving glances.

We will be affected
by time as it

diminishes the memory
little by little,

lot, by lot.

We will never see
each other again

and what a crime for
two people so in love.

My first letter is to
remind you about our cause,

the ones that started it all,

the way you'd pacify the
struggles I'd endured,

the way we would speak
for hours or more.

Each day was a blessing
for the glimmer of hope,

the endless possibilities
for the two of us both,

the excitement that we'd
meet, the chance of an us,

maybe a normal love life
and all of that stuff.

You'd come out of nowhere,
a blessing perhaps,

a strong communication
would never elapse.

The talking til three,
still knowing we'd meet.

The ringtone going off, my
romantic goodnight treat.

I'm no slow paced guy.

I see what I want.

It was written on the
wall in a readable font.

You made me laugh.

You had me bought.

It was you I had been searching
for, you I had sought.

We talked of the
damages that people do.

You told me the stories of
what you'd been through.

The lies that seeked
the ones who hurt you,

I wanted to change it.

I knew what to do.

The approach of the meet
was coming around fast,

a two day weekend,
damn, I hope it lasts.

I felt I already knew you.

We'd spoken so much.

I knew we had something
that churned in my gut.

A morning came by
as I loaded the car.

It was a fair old journey,
but not really that far.

You're worth it all.

That every mile in
the flesh and person

I witness that smile.

The butterflies flapped.

I was a teenager again.

I can still feel the feeling
I felt way back when.

The wheels turned
and the music roared.

I'm coming my boy, the
acceleration was floored.

I saw the tall bridge,
up in the distance,

this was a site that
would be minor existence.

I knew we had clicked.

I believed in fate.

I was falling, I was falling,

this wasn't a date.

The car pulled up,
the nerves were shot.

This whole body of mine
had seemed to get hot.

You came down to meet me,

my savior, my man,

we can be who we want,

we really can.

Time ticked by as
we sat and talked,

all mapped out,
just as I'd thought.

I didn't know then
what I know now,

destruction laid ahead,
but I didn't know how.

Within hours we kissed,

a perfect moment in time,

hidden disguise of
how perfect a crime.

That kiss sealed the deal.

We'd never escape.

I came to the surface
and I grabbed the bait.

In that moment, you didn't know,

just how fast it went
that would seem so slow.

I loved you that night.

I showed you upon our bed.

Both of us unaware what
we do to our heads.

Three days of glory
just seemed to fly by,

sat beneath those trees of ours

underneath a possibility sky.

Two fools romance,
what have we done?

We are not 15.

We are no longer young.

Italian cafe around the corner,

you should be at work,

but I didn't want you to go,

because goodbye always hurt.

We chatted and giggled,

a moment lost in time.

I've been waiting for
you, and you are divine.

I left in the early hours,

the motorway still dark,

you still slept, but
this was only the start.

I'd be back next week,
I'd never leave your side.

It was never my intention
to fall for your lies.

I remember the cold of
the early morning drive,

very little sleep,
but I felt so alive.

I had claimed you,
you'd claimed me.

I reiterate again that
we'd never be free.

You hid behind the
mask of confusion.

I lived in hope which
equaled illusion.

I'd be strong for you.

I'd be with you always.

It had been my life

you'd unknowingly saved.

This was the start.

You called me whirlwind

back in the day
when I was the king.

I had the energy
to carry us both.

Fuck what they think,
we'll go and elope.

Beauty becomes pain.

Pain becomes hell.

Bondage is the binds,
the holders in this cell.

We didn't know,
we didn't expect,

just how much the two of
us could possibly wreck.

Love, Jay.