Cat's Eye (1985) - full transcript
Three horror-thriller tales revolve around a mysterious stray cat which is attempting to find a little girl in trouble. In "Quitters, Inc.": the cat is picked up by a shady New York "doctor" who uses experimental techniques to get people to quit smoking. His latest client is a man named Morrison, who learns he'll suffer some terrible consequences if he tries to cheat. In "The Ledge": the cat is picked up by Cressner, a shady Atlantic City millionaire who forces tennis pro Norris (his wife's lover), to walk a narrow ledge around his high-rise penthouse apartment. In "The General": the cat arrives in Wilmington, North Carolina, where it is found by Amanda, the young girl it has been sent to protect. What she needs protection from is a tiny, evil troll who lives behind the skirting board in her bedroom.
(GROWLING)
- (SNARLS)
- (BARKS)
(BRAKES SQUEAL)
(BARKING)
(PANTING)
(GROWLING AND BARKING)
(GROWLS)
(SNARLS)
(BARKING)
(ENGINE REVVING)
(MEOWING)
(DOOR OPENS)
(HORN BLARING)
GIRL: Help me. Help me.
Up here. Look up here.
Help me.
You've got to find it.
It's after me.
You've got to get back and find it.
You've got to stop it.
Please help me. You've got to help me.
Please.
Nice little pussycat, yeah. (CHUCKLES)
You just saved me a trip to the pound,
yeah!
What are you so excited about, huh?
What am I, a cat psychologist?
(CHUCKLING)
Get in there.
(CONTINUES CHUCKLING)
Well, this is the place.
You know, I don't know about this, Jim.
But you said you wanted to quit these.
Yeah. I know, I know, I know.
But I'd just like to know what they--
Go on, Dickie, before you lose your guts.
Well, why don't you come up with me
at least?
It doesn't work that way.
It's against the rules.
What is this, a "quit smoking" clinic
or the CIA?
(CHUCKLES)
It's gonna turn your life around, Dick.
I guarantee it.
That's what Jim Jones said
when he spiked the punch.
(MEOWING)
(SOBBING)
I guess this is where you come
to quit smoking, right?
- Fill one of these out, please.
- No, I have a pen.
(GRUNTS SOFTLY)
(CRYING)
(KEYBOARD CLACKING)
(INHALES DEEPLY)
(EXHALES)
(DOOR OPENS)
(PANTING)
Honey!
Oh!
Are you all right?
Sweetheart, uh...
(WHIMPERS)
(GRUNTS)
Darling.
No, no, no...
Oh. Muah.
My precious, my precious.
- It's all right. You'll be fine.
- Take me home, please.
- Home? I'll take you home. Come on.
- (CRYING SOFTLY)
Hang on to me.
I've been a smoker for a long time.
Since I was 16.
It is very hard.
Uh, come on, now, sweetheart.
(GRUNTS)
Here. Come on. Okay.
The elevator is down here.
One step at a time.
- Hi. Excuse me--
- RECEPTIONIST: I'll take that for you.
Well, you know, actually,
I think I've changed my mind. (CHUCKLES)
- Mr. Morrison?
- Yeah? Yes?
- Sorry to keep you waiting.
- No, really, it's all right.
(STUTTERING) I was just--
Come with me.
We're about to change your life.
- For the better, I hope.
- (BOTH LAUGHING)
Uh, the founding father?
Please, Mr. Morrison.
I see you have a daughter who's 10.
Uh, Alicia.
You left the space for her school blank.
Where my daughter goes to school
really has no connection with
whether or not your organization can
help me to quit smoking, Mr. Donatti.
(CLEARS THROAT) So...
Well, are we gonna get down to it, or not?
Yes, of course.
In fact, we've already started
getting down to it.
(BEEPING)
Do you have cigarettes with you?
(CHUCKLES)
Does a bear shit in the woods? (CHUCKLING)
May I have them, please?
- (CHUCKLES)
- Well...
(SHOUTING)
(BLOWS)
Our methods here at Quitters Incorporated
are rather radical, Mr. Morrison.
Well, as a treatment, Mr. Donatti,
they suck.
There's a newsstand down
in the lobby, they sell all brands.
You know what I mean?
Availability is only part of the problem.
The fallback rate for reformed smokers
is higher than the fallback rate
for heroin addicts.
You know, you can spare me the
Reader's Digest lecture, my friend,
because I've changed my mind.
(DOOR RATTLES)
Will you open this door?
You've got a hell of a problem,
Mr. Morrison.
But we here at Quitters Incorporated
have developed a hell of a solution.
Look, you're gonna develop
a hell of a problem with my lawyers
if you don't open this goddamn door!
Relax, Mr. Morrison.
Here's something that might interest you.
- (BEEPS)
- (WHIRRING)
Watch closely, Mr. Morrison.
Nothing up either sleeve,
and you will notice at no time
does my hand leave my wrist.
(BEEPING)
(TWIST AND SHOUT PLAYING)
The music is part of his conditioning.
Boogie down, baby.
What are you doing? Stop it!
You're killing him!
(GRUNTING)
- Kill the nice kitty?
- (BEEPS)
No, he's fine.
Maybe a little crispy around the paws,
but otherwise he's fine.
Ow.
Damn it!
You barbecue all the cats you want.
If you don't have me out of here
inside of 15 seconds,
I'm gonna call the cops on you
faster than you can say "Marlboro Man."
You better listen to the big picture,
Mr. Morrison.
Quitters Incorporated was endowed
by a very important person.
After he died of lung cancer,
we realized that there were
certain techniques
that he had developed
in the family business
that we can now use
to stop people from smoking.
Actually, this is a very nice tax gimmick,
but mainly we're interested
in helping our fellow man.
For the first month, our operatives
will have you under constant supervision.
You may see some of them all of the time.
You may see all of them some of the time,
but believe me, Mr. Morrison,
you'll never see all of them
all of the time.
You smoke, they'll see you.
You'll bring me down here and
stick me in the old cat room, I suppose?
No.
We'll bring your wife down here
and stick her in the cat room.
You get to watch.
I'm a man of medicine.
I'm expected to save lives
and ease suffering, and I love people.
Therefore, I would have no choice
but to kill the son of a bitch!
"Kill the son of a bitch."
(CHUCKLES) Good idea.
- CINDY: What did you say?
- Very-- What?
Huh?
Nothing. I was...
(SIGHS)
I can't believe this is happening.
Oh, it's happening, Mr. Morrison.
First offense, your wife gets the juice.
Not too much, just enough to hurt.
Second time,
we bring your daughter Alicia here.
Imagine, Mr. Morrison, your daughter
in there instead of the cat.
The third offense, I'm afraid I'll have
to send someone out to rape your wife.
There's a rather disturbed individual
we keep around here
just for such distasteful jobs.
In the meantime,
content yourself knowing
that only 2% of our clients
ever fall from grace a fourth time.
(STUTTERING) And if they do?
Then we give up, Mr. Morrison.
Oh, my God!
- What's wrong?
- Well, I spilled my drink.
Well, I'm sorry, Dick,
but as long as you keep using
your left tit for a coaster,
- that's gonna happen.
- (GRUNTS)
Now I have no idea what's going on
in this damn movie anyway.
I don't know who writes this crap!
(DICK GROANING)
- CINDY: Dick?
- What?
- What's wrong?
- Nothing.
- You're like a bear tonight, what is it?
- (CLATTERING)
Nothing! Well, it's everything.
I mean, I quit smoking today.
Since when? Five minutes ago?
Since 3:00.
Quarter to 3:00 this afternoon.
You haven't had a cigarette in six hours?
Uh, six hours and 23 minutes.
Cindy, I'm trying to get
some ice cream here. Okay?
What in the world made you decide to quit?
I'm doing it for you and for Alicia.
That's the sweetest thing I ever heard.
Even if you don't make it,
we both thank you.
I think I'll make it.
(GROANS)
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
Shit!
(SCREAMS)
Jesus! God!
(PAPER RUSTLING)
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
(DOORKNOB CLICKS)
(SCREAMS)
(MAN GRUNTS)
DICK: (SOFTLY) Hello?
Is somebody in there?
I didn't smoke it, see?
Uh...
If you're in there, would you tell Donatti
that I didn't smoke it?
See?
I actually was just coming to
get my golf clubs.
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
- CINDY: Want some coffee?
- (SCREAMS)
Jesus!
I assume that's a "yes."
(PANTING)
Talk about aversion therapy.
Jesus!
That's it. That's it.
(BELL TOLLING)
(CHILDREN CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY)
There!
Daddy!
Hi, baby.
Whoa!
(BELL RINGING)
Okay, eyes closed? And there we go. Okay.
Now we're skipping with eyes closed.
(DICK HUMMING LOUDLY)
We're gonna skip over to here.
Are those eyes closed? Are they closed?
I think they're open. Are they closed?
Are they real tight?
Yeah.
Because we don't want to
spoil any surprises.
Okay. I think now it's time to open them.
Ah!
Thank you, Daddy. Thank you. Thank you.
Okay. I'm glad you like it, honey.
You know what?
I love you, Alicia.
- What's its name?
- Its name...
I think it's right here on the tag.
Hold on here. Its name is...
"Norma Jean."
- Norma...
- Norma...
- Jean.
- Jean.
Huh?
I love Norma Jean.
I'm glad, baby.
Come on. You got Norma Jean,
you got her shoe,
and you got her little adoption papers.
So you go back with the kids
and be a good girl, okay?
Sister...
Okay. Bye, honey. Bye.
(BELL TOLLING)
You love her a lot, don't you?
One of your men was in my closet
last night. In my home!
- Really?
- Yes, really.
It's possible, I suppose.
Constant supervision for the first month
is what we promise,
and constant supervision
is just what the client gets.
- You're a son of a bitch.
- Yes, I'm a son of a bitch.
It takes a son of a bitch
to beat the habit.
People who are unable to turn into
sons of bitches on their own behalf
come to us.
We give them what they need.
Believe me, we do.
I didn't smoke. I don't know what
your hoods told you, but I didn't smoke!
If you had lit that cigarette in your
mouth, you wouldn't be here right now.
You'd be down at my office watching
your wife hop around in the little room.
You love your wife, you love your kid.
Unfashionable these days, but useful.
I think you're gonna make it,
- Mr. Morrison.
- (CAR ENGINE TURNS ON)
We'll be watching you.
(EVERY BREATH YOU TAKE
BY THE POLICE PLAYING)
(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)
(INDISTINCT)
If an asshole like me
could stay in business...
I said it wasn't easy,
but with assholes like him around,
I got by.
(LAUGHS)
- Not bad, huh?
- No, not bad at all.
So he says, "What do you think
the SEC's gonna say
"when they hear about this?"
Two things. First, they're gonna say
they heard it all before.
Second, they're gonna say
P.T. Barnum was right.
- Excuse me.
- There's a sucker born every minute.
(LAUGHS)
HAL: Earth to Dick.
Earth to Dick Morrison. Come in, Dick!
I'm sorry. No, I'm just a little tired,
kind of under the weather.
Have a cigarette.
Yeah. No! Thanks, no. I'm sorry, I quit.
- (LAUGHS)
- I did, really.
Sure.
No, two weeks ago, done.
Two weeks, two months, two years.
It doesn't matter!
A big presentation comes along,
a make-or-break meeting,
a marathon sales conference.
Boom!
You'll be right back on them.
Come on, have a cigarette.
Come on, have a cigarette.
No, really. I gave those babies up.
(TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING)
Ding-ding, the smoking lamp is lit again.
(HAL LAUGHS)
(MOUTHING EVERY BREATH YOU TAKE
BY THE POLICE)
(CROWD LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
HAL: Dickie.
Why don't you shove it up your ass, Hal?
What? Lit?
(CHUCKLES)
(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING
OVER CASSETTE PLAYER)
(MUSIC DISTORTING)
(MUSIC STOPS)
(CHILDREN CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY)
(HORNS BLARING)
(HORNS CONTINUE BLARING)
(ENGINE REVVING)
Shit!
(ENGINE REVS)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
Cindy!
Cindy!
Cindy? Cindy?
Cindy!
Cindy!
(TELEPHONE RINGING)
Cindy?
DR. DONATTI: Hello, Mr. Morrison.
It seems we have
some business to attend to.
Will, uh, 5:00 be all right?
You know, it was just a slip, Mr. Donatti.
It was just a little, small slip,
you know. I mean, really.
I swear it won't happen again.
(CHUCKLING) It's funny, you know,
it didn't even taste good.
- I'll count on you for 5:00, shall I?
- Look, no, Donatti--
Donatti!
(GRUNTING)
- You son of a bitch!
- (LAUGHING)
Where's my wife, you turd?
Hello, Mr. Morrison.
JUNK: He tried to get smart
with his fists.
But unfortunately,
he's got very dumb fists.
Where's Cindy?
(BEEPING)
(WHIRRING)
(CINDY SOBBING)
(GRUNTS)
- (DICK GRUNTING)
- (SCREAMING)
Junk, you idiot!
(GRUNTS)
(CAT YOWLS)
Oh, fiddly sticks!
JUNK: Here, kitty, kitty. Here, kitty.
Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.
Forget the cat, you hemorrhoid!
Get the gun!
Get up, Mr. Morrison.
Let's not have
any more of this foolishness.
(CRYING)
Open the door!
I understand your agitation.
It will not be held against you.
- At least not by me.
- Please, Mr. Donatti. Please.
You be a good boy, Mr. Morrison,
and don't provoke Junk again.
I will make this as brief as possible.
Your wife will not be hurt, this time.
Watch him, Junk.
(CONTINUES CRYING)
(BEEPING)
(96 TEARS PLAYING)
(WHIMPERING)
(CONTINUES CRYING)
Remember, it's just like
getting a shot at the doctor's office.
- (BEEPS)
- (CRACKLING)
(SCREAMING)
(CHUCKLES)
(CINDY CONTINUES SCREAMING)
(JUNK LAUGHING)
Stop it! Would you stop it?
You're killing her!
DR. DONATTI: Take it easy, Mr. Morrison.
She'll be fine.
(BEEPING)
- (MUSIC STOPS PLAYING)
- (SOBBING)
(BEEPING)
(JUNK SNICKERING)
DR. DONATTI: I think you got some
explaining to do. Don't you?
JUNK: Hey, boss, ain't you going
to turn the sound up?
There's no reason to.
When you've been in the business
as long as I have,
you get to know every line.
In 30 seconds, she's either gonna
squeeze this guy
hard enough to give him a hernia,
or she's gonna slap him in the face
and walk out.
(INAUDIBLE)
- Ten bucks says she slaps him.
- You're on.
JUNK: Oh, darn.
(FOGHORN BLARING)
(MEOWING)
(FOGHORN CONTINUES BLARING)
(DR. DONATTI MUMBLING)
DICK: No, back by 10.
DR. DONATTI: No, no, no.
DICK: No, see, look.
No, no, no.
That's eight pounds in six months, Vinny.
I don't think that's so bad. Really.
An ounce of prevention
is worth a pound of cure.
We gotta watch it.
73% of our clients get a weight problem
the minute they quit smoking.
I want you to get dressed,
and you and I will have a talk.
- Okay.
- You gotta watch him.
Junk, you think eight pounds
is bad in six months?
I think it's great.
So remember, now,
some of these diet pills
are highly illegal,
- so I want you to use them sparingly.
- All right.
Now, I'm setting your maximum weight
at 165 pounds.
Oh, well, then like, if I go over,
you'll send a guy to my house
with a flamethrower or something?
(BOTH LAUGH)
No, I'll send a guy to your house
and cut off your wife's little finger.
- See, Vinny, you kill me.
- Have a good day, Dick.
- Take it easy.
- All right.
(DICK LAUGHING)
- Cut off my wife's little finger.
- Sorry to keep you waiting.
You'll kill me.
(ALL LAUGHING)
I think a toast is in order,
a toast is in order.
Okay, no throwing the glasses
in the fireplace though,
we don't want to wake the kids.
Well, the ladies are entitled to
throw their glasses in the fireplace.
To Quitters Incorporated.
Quitters Incorporated.
Quitters Incorporated.
To Quitters Incorporated.
Beat it. Go on, scat! Go on.
(JINGLE PLAYING ON TV)
GIRL: (ON TV)
Come on, Darcy, it's Gobbler time.
Now, you just sit right there.
Gobblers is all that Darcy eats because
it's her mostest, mostest favorite.
Listen to me carefully.
It's still looking for me.
You've got to get back and find it.
You're my only chance.
You're my only chance.
- MAN: Lucky night, Mr. Cressner.
- (CRESSNER SCOFFS)
CRESSNER: Don't jump to any conclusions.
The night ain't over.
(LEVERS CLACKING)
- Good night, Mr. Cressner.
- Good night, sweetheart.
- Richard.
- Yeah, boss.
- Cash these.
- Okay. You got it.
(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)
Buonanotte, Mr. Cressner.
Buonanotte, buonanotte.
Oh, so nice, Mr. Cressner. Thank you.
- Good night, Mr. C.
- Good night, Henry.
- Hey, you spoke to Ducky?
- Yes, sir, Mr. Cressner.
He's got my wife and her friend in view?
Yes, sir, she and the tennis guy
are in a white Mustang convertible.
Ducky's right on it.
He's right behind her.
Good. Good. You're a good man.
(SIGHS)
So, folks, what's it going to be?
Well, Dean Martin is at the Golden Nugget
and I haven't seen Dino Martino
since I was a little girl.
Have you taken care
of your domestic problem?
- Yeah. I got everything well in hand.
- Good.
- Thank you.
- Okay.
- The Golden Nugget will be fine, okay?
- Good.
- Thank you so much.
- Let's go.
- (TIRES SCREECH)
- (CAR HONKS)
Oh, my gosh! Look at that. A cat.
- (TIRES SCREECH)
- (HORN BLARES)
You know, my daddy used to say
that all cats should be drowned
after they stop playing with spools
and stuff.
- Is that what your daddy said?
- Yeah.
Your father must have been
a great humanitarian.
(LAUGHS)
(CAT YOWLING)
(CAR HONKING)
Oh, my gosh!
I bet that cat's gonna get run over.
I got $2,000 says he can make it.
- You're kidding?
- No.
- You're on.
- $2,000 that he can make it.
- Cat's dead. You're on.
- Here you go. Okay?
- You say he makes it, I say he's dead.
- Yeah. All right.
- Okay? I can do anything I want?
- Sure. So can I. Anybody can.
No, no. I can do anything I want,
you don't say a word.
- Go ahead. Yeah.
- You got it. Watch.
Anybody can do anything they want.
- Watch me.
- I'm watching.
Come on, cat.
Come here, kitty, kitty, kitty.
Come on, kitty, kitty.
Come on, little kitty, kitty.
- You guys would bet on anything.
- Yeah. That's what it's all about.
MAN: Come on, kitty, kitty.
Come here, little kitty.
Come on, little kitty, come on.
Here, kitty. Come here, kitty.
- What, for $2,000 you're on my side now?
- Yeah.
Come on. You're the one whose father
was drowning cats, remember?
- Come on, kitty. Come on.
- Come on, kitty. Come to mama.
(HORNS BLARING)
MAN: Don't worry about these big things,
that's special effects.
Come on, kitty.
Okay, okay.
Okay, okay, okay. Okay, okay, okay!
Now. Come on.
(TIRES SCREECH)
- Come on!
- Come on!
Come on! (LAUGHS)
MAN: Come on, kitty, kitty.
(PEOPLE CHEERING)
CRESSNER:
Hey, hey. There he is. There he is.
There's the guy. There's the guy.
You were just lucky.
"Lucky"? I think he knows
you bet against him.
Hey. You win some, you lose some.
Well, you guys go on. Go see Dean Martin.
I'll take this guy home,
give him a bowl of milk.
I think he just earned it.
Goodbye, sweetie.
- You sure you're not coming?
- Goodbye, Dom. Goodbye, kitty.
I got to finish that business
I talked about.
- You want to get me a cab please?
- Have a good time.
Hey, come here.
Get Ducky on the radio.
Tell him to nail the bastard.
- Good night.
- Yes, sir.
JOHNNY: Thanks.
MARCIA: Thank you.
I still don't see why
you can't come with me.
Because we're broke.
When you decided to leave with me,
you descended into a whole new plane
- of financial existence, my dear.
- Oh.
I'm just trying to make
the decompression as painless as possible.
- I don't care.
- I do!
The Armbruster Hotel in New York.
I'll see you there tomorrow night.
- Johnny--
- I've got to wait till the banks open,
so I can crack open one of my piggy banks
to get us some money.
We got to have something to live on.
Look, Johnny, you don't know
how dangerous he is.
You don't even have a clue.
I know exactly what he is, and
that's why you're getting on the bus.
After you give me a kiss.
- Mmm.
- Darling.
Go. Go.
(DOOR CLOSES)
Hey!
It's for horses. Sometimes for cows.
Pigs don't eat it
because they don't know how.
- Boingo!
- (GRUNTS)
Get his keys, come on.
You're in grade-A trouble, buckaroo.
Come on.
Move! Move!
(CAR ENGINE STARTS)
Come on!
(TIRES SCREECHING)
Okay, blow.
Come on, kid.
Hey!
Pigs don't eat it,
because they don't know how.
Boingo!
When Ducky says that, it means shut up.
- Does it?
- Yeah. It's like a joke, you know?
- (GRUNTS)
- (JOHNNY GROANS)
(GROANING)
CRESSNER: Close the door, close the door!
JOHNNY: Ah, shit.
CRESSNER: I've set you up, Mr. Norris.
In 10 minutes, Albert will call the police
and tell them a tale of heroin,
1970 Mustangs,
aging tennis pros with drug records.
You'll be eagerly sought after,
Mr. Norris.
Unless I tell you where Marcia is.
With you gone, she'd come back.
She's got nowhere else to go.
Hmm?
Now as for you, when you get out of jail,
you'll be more concerned
with your arthritis than your libido.
Hmm?
Unless you want to take the wager
I'm offering.
Hmm?
Hey, come here.
Come on.
I want to show you something.
Now look down there
and tell me what you see.
Look, go ahead.
The street.
No, there. There.
A ledge.
- The ledge.
- Look, what is all of this about?
The wager I'm proposing is very simple.
The top of the building is sort of
an architectural monstrosity, huh?
All little nooks and crannies...
Weird wind comes around.
You walk all the way around,
the scag will be removed from the car.
You get the money and you get my wife.
- You're crazy.
- Ha ha!
You lose your balance,
lose your balance once...
(WHOOSHES)
(CRESSNER LAUGHING)
That's the bet, Mr. Norris.
You get the girl, you get the gold watch,
you get everything!
Or you get a lot of straight time
in Rahway Prison.
You welsh on your bets?
I never welshed on a bet in my life.
(CAT MEOWING)
Hey, Sebastian.
Hey, Sebastian.
Sebastian appears to like you.
Maybe that's a good sign, huh?
Huh?
Good, good. Well begun is half done.
(JOHNNY BREATHING HEAVILY)
(SCREAMS)
(PANTING)
(LAUGHS)
The ledge is about five inches wide.
But once you're on it,
it looks more like three, doesn't it?
Two. Two, yeah.
One?
How the hell would you know?
Mr. Norris, you know what I think?
I think you're gonna just stand there
for a while, then climb back up, huh?
I mean, and if your arms still got
the strength left to do that.
I, uh, I don't think you got the guts.
I just don't think you got the guts.
(GASPS)
Boogie, boogie, boogie!
- (LAUGHING)
- (SCREAMS)
You bastard!
I just want to keep you on your toes.
(CONTINUES LAUGHING)
(CRESSNER LAUGHING LOUDLY)
- (MEOWS)
- Oh!
Get out of here.
(SNARLS)
(PANTING)
(GIGGLING)
- (WIND HOWLING)
- (SHUDDERS)
(GASPS)
(SCREAMING)
(GRUNTS)
Boingo.
- (HORN BLARING)
- (SCREAMS)
JOHNNY: You bastard!
Just keeping you on your toes!
(LAUGHING)
JOHNNY: Oh, Jesus!
(CHUCKLING)
(SNARLS)
Hey, what's the matter with you?
Knock it off, huh?
Where's your sense of humor?
(BOTH LAUGH)
Hey.
Buzz off.
(GROANING)
Hey!
Shove off!
Ah!
Ah! Ow!
(SCREAMING)
Oh, God.
Oh, God!
(GROANS)
Ow, you little pecker!
(GROANS)
Ah!
Try this...
You flying shithouse!
(SQUAWKING)
(PANTING)
CRESSNER: Mr. Norris!
(SCREAMING)
(CRESSNER LAUGHING)
What do you think, Mr. Norris?
Is this more fun than human beings
should be allowed to have or what?
I'll kill you!
No, Mr. Norris.
But I will most assuredly kill you
if you don't get moving in 30 seconds!
The valve was only half-open that time.
If I open it all the way,
I'll blow you out of this hole.
Move!
(PANTING)
(SOFTLY) I'll kill you.
Wait and see.
(CREAKING)
- (CREAKING CONTINUES)
- (PANTING)
(GRUNTS)
(SCREAMING)
Oh, God! God!
(SCREAMS)
(GRUNTS)
(GRUNTING)
(PANTING)
CRESSNER: Put it in the shopping bag.
- ALBERT: On top of the money?
- Yeah, put it in the shopping bag.
Okay, put that down there.
All right.
Now you come in when I say,
"All right, all right, Mr. Norris."
You got that?
ALBERT: Yeah, I got it.
"All right, Mr. Norris."
CRESSNER: No, no.
"All right, all right, Mr. Norris."
ALBERT: I got it. "All right, Mr. Norris."
Come on. Forget it. Go ahead.
(GRUNTING)
(PANTING)
CRESSNER:
All right, all right, Mr. Norris.
I told you I don't welsh.
- No?
- No.
I'm just an extremely poor loser.
I promised you three things.
You have your car, clean.
You have the money.
And of course, you have my wife.
(CAT YOWLS)
Jesus!
How do you like that, Mr. Norris?
God!
Albert! Albert!
(GRUNTS)
(GRUNTS)
CRESSNER: Albert!
- (SILENCED GUNSHOT)
- (GRUNTS)
(GRUNTS)
The money, nothing.
Nothing. Chicken feed.
I can get you $100,000.
$500,000!
Huh?
A million, Norris.
In a Swiss bank. How about that?
How about that?
$1 million.
I don't think so!
Two million! Two million!
No.
I got an idea.
I'll make you a little bet.
It's not a wager
because I'm not a big fancy hood like you.
I'm just an over-the-hill tennis bum...
(PANTING)
...with a dead girlfriend.
No, it's just a simple little bet.
CRESSNER: Five million! Five million! Eh?
(CRESSNER WHIMPERING)
I'll give you anything you want.
You're right, Mr. Cressner,
this is a lot of fun.
You got to be joking, Norris. Come on!
It's a joke! Tell me it's a joke!
Tell me it's a joke--
Don't shoot!
(SCREAMING)
Oh! Oh!
Just keeping you on your toes,
Mr. Cressner.
Keep moving.
(CRESSNER SOBS)
The next one might be a lot closer.
Move!
CRESSNER: Norris, you son of a bitch!
(WHIMPERING)
(SCREAMING)
Get out of here!
Get out! Get out!
(SCREAMING)
(CRESSNER CONTINUES SCREAMING)
(BODY THUDS)
(HORNS BLARING)
- (PANTING)
- (BELLS JANGLING)
TROLL: Oh!
(TROLL CONTINUES PANTING)
(AMANDA LAUGHING)
(TROLL GROANS)
(TROLL GIGGLES)
TROLL: Oh!
HUGH: Don't splash Daddy
when Daddy's got the hose.
MOM: Come on, you two. Lunchtime.
- (AMANDA SCREAMS)
- (MOM GIGGLES)
MOM: Come here, Amanda.
Let's get some of that soap off.
A cat!
MOM: Hey!
AMANDA: Can we keep it? Can we keep it?
MOM: No. It probably belongs to somebody.
MOM: Amanda, wait until I get a broom.
Amanda, don't! Wait a minute!
Amanda!
(CHIRPS)
Amanda, don't touch that cat.
It could bite you.
It's not gonna bite me, it likes me.
I want to keep him. No, don't.
MOM: Amanda, we can't keep every single
stray that comes into this house.
It could have a disease.
But what if we have the vet check him?
If the vet checks him out and says
there's nothing wrong with him
and no one comes to get him,
then can we please have him?
- Please? Please? Pretty please?
- (BIRD FLUTTERING)
With sugar on top?
What's your name?
I can't hear you.
Are you gonna guard me? I hope so.
But, Mom, can't General stay
in my room tonight?
- MOM: No.
- Please?
No, the policy in this house
does not include bedroom privileges.
- AMANDA: But, Mom... Mom...
- Come on now, bedtime.
AMANDA: Good night, General.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS ON TV)
(GUNSHOT FIRES ON TV)
(SCREAMING ON TV)
(SCREAMING)
MOM: Amanda, could you turn off
that TV set? I'd like to talk to you.
(TV TURNS OFF)
That cat was in your bedroom last night,
wasn't he?
- Mmm-mmm.
- Uh-huh.
I found cat hairs all over your bedspread,
and a lot of your dolls were knocked over.
- Was he?
- Mmm-hmm.
I dreamed he was. Far out.
Yeah. Well, he's really gonna be "far out"
if that happens again because
I'm gonna send him to the animal shelter.
But, Mom, you can't do that!
That's not fair.
Have you given
one minute's thought to Polly?
AMANDA: General loves Polly.
They get along great.
MOM: Birds and cats
do not get along great,
in case you haven't watched
Sylvester and Tweety Bird on television.
(CHIRPING)
General wouldn't do a thing to hurt Polly.
He's non-violent.
(BIRD SQUAWKS)
Well, I think it's really early
to decide that.
And I'd just wish you'd understand.
Also, um, your mom just happened to have
a conference call with Nana last evening
and Nana told your mom
that cats steal kids' breath.
Why would General take my breath
if he has his own?
Oh, well... "You have to put
all the animals outside in the night.
"I mean, especially the cat animals.
"Because if you don't,
they climb up and sit on your chest
"and suck all your breath out
like this..."
- (PURRING)
- (GIGGLES)
- That is very, very helpful, Hugh.
- Oh, thank you very much.
Aw.
Now, come on.
Sit down and have your breakfast.
No! No. Jokes about my mother's accent
in the morning
just have this way of killing my appetite.
"Non-violent," my ass.
AMANDA: Mom...
I'm sorry we laughed at Nana.
But couldn't--
No! The subject is closed.
Bus in 15 minutes.
(BUS ENGINE IDLING)
(MEOWING)
(DOOR CLOSES)
Mom, can't General just stay with me
until I fall asleep?
No! No. Don't forget those back teeth.
That's where most of the food gets stuck.
- Get the backs.
- (WATER FLOWING)
- Hi, doll.
- Hi, Daddy.
Hmm.
You know, Amanda,
it'd be a lot easier for me
to get General back in the house
if I knew what these bad dreams
were all about.
AMANDA: Why?
"Why?" Because when you play the violin,
little girl,
everybody listens, including your mom.
So, come on, tell me.
Well, I can only remember
that there's a monster in it.
A monster? What's he like?
Do you know that story about the goats?
The Three Billy Goats Gruff?
- That's the one.
- Mmm-hmm.
Well, this one lives
in my wall right there.
HUGH: Hmm.
But General kept those dreams away
last night.
Can't he come in for good, Daddy, please?
You know, Amanda,
your mom is really serious about this.
Yeah, I know.
Just like getting your back teeth,
that's where the food gets stuck
and cats stealing kids' breath.
Well, my making fun of Nanny's accent
at the breakfast table this morning
probably didn't get us off
to the best of starts,
but, um, I might be able
to bring your mother around.
- No promises, but maybe.
- No promises.
Uh...
You know, Amanda, um,
there are no real monsters.
Yeah, I guess I do.
Okay. Go to sleep now.
No bad dreams.
No bad dreams.
(DOOR CLOSES)
You know, I think she was beginning to cry
when I kissed her good night tonight.
(SIGHS)
Come on, Hugh.
Now, what do you say we talk about it
just a little bit more, huh?
Hugh, I just don't trust that cat.
(MEOWING)
(RATTLING)
(TROLL MUMBLING)
(SNEEZES)
(POLLY CHIRPING)
(TROLL CONTINUES MUMBLING)
(RATTLING)
(TROLL GIGGLING)
- (TROLL GRUNTING)
- (CRACKING)
(TROLL GRUNTS LOUDER)
(CHIRPS)
(GRUNTING CONTINUES)
(GROWLING)
(LAUGHS)
(MUMBLES)
(GIGGLING)
(TROLL CHUCKLES)
(CHIRPING)
(GROANS)
(CHIRPING CONTINUES)
(TROLL LAUGHING)
(TROLL PANTING)
(GROWLS)
(GASPS)
(TROLL GRUNTS)
(SNARLING)
(MEOWS)
- (SNARLS)
- (SCREAMS)
(SCREAMS)
(GRUNTS)
(GRUNTS)
(SQUEALS)
(TROLL LAUGHING)
- HUGH: What was that?
- What was that?
(GROANS) I don't know. I'll go.
(TROLL GRUNTS)
General? Is that you?
(MEOWS LOUDLY)
(GIGGLING)
(MEOWS AND LAUGHS)
Polly!
Mandy!
Polly's dead.
(CRYING)
The monster in my wall killed Polly.
MOM: Oh, no!
- I knew it!
- (AMANDA SOBBING)
I knew it!
It's okay.
(AMANDA CRYING)
I told you this would happen.
Look at this!
HUGH: It's okay. It's okay.
- She's convinced the cat didn't do it.
- Yes, I know.
She's convinced that it was a troll
that got tired of living under a bridge
and has now moved into her wall.
But she is eight and you're 38,
and that cat's tracks
were on her windowsill in Polly's blood.
Now, are you gonna take care of Polly
or do you want me to?
(DOOR OPENS)
Well, here he goes, killer.
(MEOWS)
You know, I would have thought
that you'd have cleared out of here
by now, too.
You know your welcome
is getting pretty threadbare, hmm?
Come here.
What have we got here?
Who did that to you?
Hmm?
Hey, the cat has got
a wound on his shoulder.
So what?
I don't know, uh.
Seems like a big wound.
Yeah, well, Polly got in one good peck
before that cat killed him.
Good for Polly.
Uh-huh.
I certainly never realized
that Polly had such a big pecker.
You know, you better get ready for work.
You're going to be late.
(ENGINE STARTING)
(CAN OPENER WHIRRING)
(MEOWING)
Stay right there.
Come on.
Looky, look. Good food.
Come on.
Come on, kitty, kitty, kitty.
Mama's got your favorite food.
Come on, you furry little bastard.
Come on. Come on.
(SIGHS)
Going.
Going.
Your bird-killing days are over,
my friend.
AMANDA: General!
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
General!
General!
General!
(SIGHS)
(JINGLING)
(DOGS BARKING)
(CATS YOWLING)
Tomorrow's your big day, fellow.
(MEOWING)
Do you think General ran away
because you thought he killed Polly?
Honey, cats don't think.
General does, and he knows that you think
that cats steal kids' breath!
(CAT MEOWING)
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
(TROLL GRUNTING)
- (BELLS JINGLING)
- (GIGGLING)
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
(MOANS)
Oh.
(CHUCKLES)
Oh.
(CHUCKLING)
(SNIFFS)
(GROANS) Bleh!
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
(EXCLAIMS)
(GIGGLES)
- (MEOWS)
- Hey! Hey!
(GRUNTS)
(SCREAMS)
Mmm.
(GRUMBLING)
(GRUNTS)
(GROANING)
(TIRES SCREECH)
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
(GASPS)
(INHALING)
(COUGHING)
(GROWLING)
(AMANDA COUGHING)
(GROWLS)
- (YOWLS)
- (GRUNTS)
- (SNARLS)
- (TROLL SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
(COUGHING)
- (TROLL SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
- (YOWLS)
(GRUNTS)
(COUGHING)
(YOWLING CONTINUES )
(GRUNTING CONTINUES )
(CHOKING)
(SCREAMING)
(GASPS) Oh! What was that?
(AMANDA CONTINUES SCREAMING)
Mommy!
(COUGHING)
(SCREAMS)
(COUGHING)
- AMANDA: Mommy!
- Amanda!
MOM: Get out of my way! Amanda!
- (KNOCKING)
- (MOM SCREAMING)
(HUGH AND MOM SCREAMING)
- (YOWLING)
- (GROWLING)
- (KNOCKING CONTINUES)
- HUGH: Amanda!
Amanda!
(SNARLS)
(YOWLS)
(SNARLS)
(GRUNTING)
Get him, General! Get him!
(SNARLS)
Ah! Hang on.
Oh, no!
Ah!
(THUNDER RUMBLES)
(WHIMPERING)
(PANTING)
(GRUNTS)
AMANDA: Come on! Don't let him get away!
MOM: Please!
- Amanda!
- (KNOCKING CONTINUES)
It's Mommy and Daddy, we're not angry.
(ANGRILY) Hugh, what is wrong?
Why won't this door open?
Come on, General. Get him!
(LAUGHING)
Uh-oh!
No!
(SCREAMS)
AMANDA: Come on, General, you can do it!
(TROLL SCREAMING)
AMANDA: Cream him! Cream him!
(PANTING)
(GROANING)
AMANDA: Watch out, General, watch out!
Come on, get him!
Amanda!
General's fighting the monster!
MOM: Amanda!
(GRUNTS)
(GROANING)
(EVERY BREATH YOU TAKE
PLAYING ON RECORD PLAYER)
(GRUNTING)
Play it faster!
(EVERY BREATH YOU TAKE
PLAYING FASTER)
(SCREAMING)
Play it faster!
(EVERY BREATH YOU TAKE
PLAYING VERY FAST)
(SCREAMING)
(METAL CLANKING)
AMANDA: General!
Amanda!
Where did he come from?
Where did he come from? Give me that cat.
Amanda!
- Give me that cat!
- Quiet!
(MUSIC STOPS)
It wasn't General
that was trying to take my breath.
It was the monster, and General fixed him.
You've got to believe me!
Amanda, where did it go?
General played him
on the record player and...
Swoosh! Zoom!
Into the fan and he got smushed.
(HUGH GROANS)
MOM: Oh, my God!
HUGH: Yuck!
MOM: Hugh, what do you think it is?
(HUGH SIGHS)
That's where he came from. Right there!
Right there in my wall
just like I told you.
Amanda, whatever it was
that was in the wall, um, was it alone?
- I mean, did it have any friends?
- I only saw one.
MOM: Hugh? We're not going
to tell anybody about this.
HUGH: Are you kidding?
Amanda, promise me...
Promise me that you won't tell
any of your friends about this, okay?
Well, that depends.
MOM: "Depends"? Depends on what?
On whether or not I can keep General.
- And sleep with me at night.
- Amanda, that's blackmail.
(PURRS)
(CREAKING)
Hi.
(RAY STEVENS SINGING CAT'S EYE)
English-SDH
- (SNARLS)
- (BARKS)
(BRAKES SQUEAL)
(BARKING)
(PANTING)
(GROWLING AND BARKING)
(GROWLS)
(SNARLS)
(BARKING)
(ENGINE REVVING)
(MEOWING)
(DOOR OPENS)
(HORN BLARING)
GIRL: Help me. Help me.
Up here. Look up here.
Help me.
You've got to find it.
It's after me.
You've got to get back and find it.
You've got to stop it.
Please help me. You've got to help me.
Please.
Nice little pussycat, yeah. (CHUCKLES)
You just saved me a trip to the pound,
yeah!
What are you so excited about, huh?
What am I, a cat psychologist?
(CHUCKLING)
Get in there.
(CONTINUES CHUCKLING)
Well, this is the place.
You know, I don't know about this, Jim.
But you said you wanted to quit these.
Yeah. I know, I know, I know.
But I'd just like to know what they--
Go on, Dickie, before you lose your guts.
Well, why don't you come up with me
at least?
It doesn't work that way.
It's against the rules.
What is this, a "quit smoking" clinic
or the CIA?
(CHUCKLES)
It's gonna turn your life around, Dick.
I guarantee it.
That's what Jim Jones said
when he spiked the punch.
(MEOWING)
(SOBBING)
I guess this is where you come
to quit smoking, right?
- Fill one of these out, please.
- No, I have a pen.
(GRUNTS SOFTLY)
(CRYING)
(KEYBOARD CLACKING)
(INHALES DEEPLY)
(EXHALES)
(DOOR OPENS)
(PANTING)
Honey!
Oh!
Are you all right?
Sweetheart, uh...
(WHIMPERS)
(GRUNTS)
Darling.
No, no, no...
Oh. Muah.
My precious, my precious.
- It's all right. You'll be fine.
- Take me home, please.
- Home? I'll take you home. Come on.
- (CRYING SOFTLY)
Hang on to me.
I've been a smoker for a long time.
Since I was 16.
It is very hard.
Uh, come on, now, sweetheart.
(GRUNTS)
Here. Come on. Okay.
The elevator is down here.
One step at a time.
- Hi. Excuse me--
- RECEPTIONIST: I'll take that for you.
Well, you know, actually,
I think I've changed my mind. (CHUCKLES)
- Mr. Morrison?
- Yeah? Yes?
- Sorry to keep you waiting.
- No, really, it's all right.
(STUTTERING) I was just--
Come with me.
We're about to change your life.
- For the better, I hope.
- (BOTH LAUGHING)
Uh, the founding father?
Please, Mr. Morrison.
I see you have a daughter who's 10.
Uh, Alicia.
You left the space for her school blank.
Where my daughter goes to school
really has no connection with
whether or not your organization can
help me to quit smoking, Mr. Donatti.
(CLEARS THROAT) So...
Well, are we gonna get down to it, or not?
Yes, of course.
In fact, we've already started
getting down to it.
(BEEPING)
Do you have cigarettes with you?
(CHUCKLES)
Does a bear shit in the woods? (CHUCKLING)
May I have them, please?
- (CHUCKLES)
- Well...
(SHOUTING)
(BLOWS)
Our methods here at Quitters Incorporated
are rather radical, Mr. Morrison.
Well, as a treatment, Mr. Donatti,
they suck.
There's a newsstand down
in the lobby, they sell all brands.
You know what I mean?
Availability is only part of the problem.
The fallback rate for reformed smokers
is higher than the fallback rate
for heroin addicts.
You know, you can spare me the
Reader's Digest lecture, my friend,
because I've changed my mind.
(DOOR RATTLES)
Will you open this door?
You've got a hell of a problem,
Mr. Morrison.
But we here at Quitters Incorporated
have developed a hell of a solution.
Look, you're gonna develop
a hell of a problem with my lawyers
if you don't open this goddamn door!
Relax, Mr. Morrison.
Here's something that might interest you.
- (BEEPS)
- (WHIRRING)
Watch closely, Mr. Morrison.
Nothing up either sleeve,
and you will notice at no time
does my hand leave my wrist.
(BEEPING)
(TWIST AND SHOUT PLAYING)
The music is part of his conditioning.
Boogie down, baby.
What are you doing? Stop it!
You're killing him!
(GRUNTING)
- Kill the nice kitty?
- (BEEPS)
No, he's fine.
Maybe a little crispy around the paws,
but otherwise he's fine.
Ow.
Damn it!
You barbecue all the cats you want.
If you don't have me out of here
inside of 15 seconds,
I'm gonna call the cops on you
faster than you can say "Marlboro Man."
You better listen to the big picture,
Mr. Morrison.
Quitters Incorporated was endowed
by a very important person.
After he died of lung cancer,
we realized that there were
certain techniques
that he had developed
in the family business
that we can now use
to stop people from smoking.
Actually, this is a very nice tax gimmick,
but mainly we're interested
in helping our fellow man.
For the first month, our operatives
will have you under constant supervision.
You may see some of them all of the time.
You may see all of them some of the time,
but believe me, Mr. Morrison,
you'll never see all of them
all of the time.
You smoke, they'll see you.
You'll bring me down here and
stick me in the old cat room, I suppose?
No.
We'll bring your wife down here
and stick her in the cat room.
You get to watch.
I'm a man of medicine.
I'm expected to save lives
and ease suffering, and I love people.
Therefore, I would have no choice
but to kill the son of a bitch!
"Kill the son of a bitch."
(CHUCKLES) Good idea.
- CINDY: What did you say?
- Very-- What?
Huh?
Nothing. I was...
(SIGHS)
I can't believe this is happening.
Oh, it's happening, Mr. Morrison.
First offense, your wife gets the juice.
Not too much, just enough to hurt.
Second time,
we bring your daughter Alicia here.
Imagine, Mr. Morrison, your daughter
in there instead of the cat.
The third offense, I'm afraid I'll have
to send someone out to rape your wife.
There's a rather disturbed individual
we keep around here
just for such distasteful jobs.
In the meantime,
content yourself knowing
that only 2% of our clients
ever fall from grace a fourth time.
(STUTTERING) And if they do?
Then we give up, Mr. Morrison.
Oh, my God!
- What's wrong?
- Well, I spilled my drink.
Well, I'm sorry, Dick,
but as long as you keep using
your left tit for a coaster,
- that's gonna happen.
- (GRUNTS)
Now I have no idea what's going on
in this damn movie anyway.
I don't know who writes this crap!
(DICK GROANING)
- CINDY: Dick?
- What?
- What's wrong?
- Nothing.
- You're like a bear tonight, what is it?
- (CLATTERING)
Nothing! Well, it's everything.
I mean, I quit smoking today.
Since when? Five minutes ago?
Since 3:00.
Quarter to 3:00 this afternoon.
You haven't had a cigarette in six hours?
Uh, six hours and 23 minutes.
Cindy, I'm trying to get
some ice cream here. Okay?
What in the world made you decide to quit?
I'm doing it for you and for Alicia.
That's the sweetest thing I ever heard.
Even if you don't make it,
we both thank you.
I think I'll make it.
(GROANS)
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
Shit!
(SCREAMS)
Jesus! God!
(PAPER RUSTLING)
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
(DOORKNOB CLICKS)
(SCREAMS)
(MAN GRUNTS)
DICK: (SOFTLY) Hello?
Is somebody in there?
I didn't smoke it, see?
Uh...
If you're in there, would you tell Donatti
that I didn't smoke it?
See?
I actually was just coming to
get my golf clubs.
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
- CINDY: Want some coffee?
- (SCREAMS)
Jesus!
I assume that's a "yes."
(PANTING)
Talk about aversion therapy.
Jesus!
That's it. That's it.
(BELL TOLLING)
(CHILDREN CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY)
There!
Daddy!
Hi, baby.
Whoa!
(BELL RINGING)
Okay, eyes closed? And there we go. Okay.
Now we're skipping with eyes closed.
(DICK HUMMING LOUDLY)
We're gonna skip over to here.
Are those eyes closed? Are they closed?
I think they're open. Are they closed?
Are they real tight?
Yeah.
Because we don't want to
spoil any surprises.
Okay. I think now it's time to open them.
Ah!
Thank you, Daddy. Thank you. Thank you.
Okay. I'm glad you like it, honey.
You know what?
I love you, Alicia.
- What's its name?
- Its name...
I think it's right here on the tag.
Hold on here. Its name is...
"Norma Jean."
- Norma...
- Norma...
- Jean.
- Jean.
Huh?
I love Norma Jean.
I'm glad, baby.
Come on. You got Norma Jean,
you got her shoe,
and you got her little adoption papers.
So you go back with the kids
and be a good girl, okay?
Sister...
Okay. Bye, honey. Bye.
(BELL TOLLING)
You love her a lot, don't you?
One of your men was in my closet
last night. In my home!
- Really?
- Yes, really.
It's possible, I suppose.
Constant supervision for the first month
is what we promise,
and constant supervision
is just what the client gets.
- You're a son of a bitch.
- Yes, I'm a son of a bitch.
It takes a son of a bitch
to beat the habit.
People who are unable to turn into
sons of bitches on their own behalf
come to us.
We give them what they need.
Believe me, we do.
I didn't smoke. I don't know what
your hoods told you, but I didn't smoke!
If you had lit that cigarette in your
mouth, you wouldn't be here right now.
You'd be down at my office watching
your wife hop around in the little room.
You love your wife, you love your kid.
Unfashionable these days, but useful.
I think you're gonna make it,
- Mr. Morrison.
- (CAR ENGINE TURNS ON)
We'll be watching you.
(EVERY BREATH YOU TAKE
BY THE POLICE PLAYING)
(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)
(INDISTINCT)
If an asshole like me
could stay in business...
I said it wasn't easy,
but with assholes like him around,
I got by.
(LAUGHS)
- Not bad, huh?
- No, not bad at all.
So he says, "What do you think
the SEC's gonna say
"when they hear about this?"
Two things. First, they're gonna say
they heard it all before.
Second, they're gonna say
P.T. Barnum was right.
- Excuse me.
- There's a sucker born every minute.
(LAUGHS)
HAL: Earth to Dick.
Earth to Dick Morrison. Come in, Dick!
I'm sorry. No, I'm just a little tired,
kind of under the weather.
Have a cigarette.
Yeah. No! Thanks, no. I'm sorry, I quit.
- (LAUGHS)
- I did, really.
Sure.
No, two weeks ago, done.
Two weeks, two months, two years.
It doesn't matter!
A big presentation comes along,
a make-or-break meeting,
a marathon sales conference.
Boom!
You'll be right back on them.
Come on, have a cigarette.
Come on, have a cigarette.
No, really. I gave those babies up.
(TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING)
Ding-ding, the smoking lamp is lit again.
(HAL LAUGHS)
(MOUTHING EVERY BREATH YOU TAKE
BY THE POLICE)
(CROWD LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
HAL: Dickie.
Why don't you shove it up your ass, Hal?
What? Lit?
(CHUCKLES)
(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING
OVER CASSETTE PLAYER)
(MUSIC DISTORTING)
(MUSIC STOPS)
(CHILDREN CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY)
(HORNS BLARING)
(HORNS CONTINUE BLARING)
(ENGINE REVVING)
Shit!
(ENGINE REVS)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
Cindy!
Cindy!
Cindy? Cindy?
Cindy!
Cindy!
(TELEPHONE RINGING)
Cindy?
DR. DONATTI: Hello, Mr. Morrison.
It seems we have
some business to attend to.
Will, uh, 5:00 be all right?
You know, it was just a slip, Mr. Donatti.
It was just a little, small slip,
you know. I mean, really.
I swear it won't happen again.
(CHUCKLING) It's funny, you know,
it didn't even taste good.
- I'll count on you for 5:00, shall I?
- Look, no, Donatti--
Donatti!
(GRUNTING)
- You son of a bitch!
- (LAUGHING)
Where's my wife, you turd?
Hello, Mr. Morrison.
JUNK: He tried to get smart
with his fists.
But unfortunately,
he's got very dumb fists.
Where's Cindy?
(BEEPING)
(WHIRRING)
(CINDY SOBBING)
(GRUNTS)
- (DICK GRUNTING)
- (SCREAMING)
Junk, you idiot!
(GRUNTS)
(CAT YOWLS)
Oh, fiddly sticks!
JUNK: Here, kitty, kitty. Here, kitty.
Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.
Forget the cat, you hemorrhoid!
Get the gun!
Get up, Mr. Morrison.
Let's not have
any more of this foolishness.
(CRYING)
Open the door!
I understand your agitation.
It will not be held against you.
- At least not by me.
- Please, Mr. Donatti. Please.
You be a good boy, Mr. Morrison,
and don't provoke Junk again.
I will make this as brief as possible.
Your wife will not be hurt, this time.
Watch him, Junk.
(CONTINUES CRYING)
(BEEPING)
(96 TEARS PLAYING)
(WHIMPERING)
(CONTINUES CRYING)
Remember, it's just like
getting a shot at the doctor's office.
- (BEEPS)
- (CRACKLING)
(SCREAMING)
(CHUCKLES)
(CINDY CONTINUES SCREAMING)
(JUNK LAUGHING)
Stop it! Would you stop it?
You're killing her!
DR. DONATTI: Take it easy, Mr. Morrison.
She'll be fine.
(BEEPING)
- (MUSIC STOPS PLAYING)
- (SOBBING)
(BEEPING)
(JUNK SNICKERING)
DR. DONATTI: I think you got some
explaining to do. Don't you?
JUNK: Hey, boss, ain't you going
to turn the sound up?
There's no reason to.
When you've been in the business
as long as I have,
you get to know every line.
In 30 seconds, she's either gonna
squeeze this guy
hard enough to give him a hernia,
or she's gonna slap him in the face
and walk out.
(INAUDIBLE)
- Ten bucks says she slaps him.
- You're on.
JUNK: Oh, darn.
(FOGHORN BLARING)
(MEOWING)
(FOGHORN CONTINUES BLARING)
(DR. DONATTI MUMBLING)
DICK: No, back by 10.
DR. DONATTI: No, no, no.
DICK: No, see, look.
No, no, no.
That's eight pounds in six months, Vinny.
I don't think that's so bad. Really.
An ounce of prevention
is worth a pound of cure.
We gotta watch it.
73% of our clients get a weight problem
the minute they quit smoking.
I want you to get dressed,
and you and I will have a talk.
- Okay.
- You gotta watch him.
Junk, you think eight pounds
is bad in six months?
I think it's great.
So remember, now,
some of these diet pills
are highly illegal,
- so I want you to use them sparingly.
- All right.
Now, I'm setting your maximum weight
at 165 pounds.
Oh, well, then like, if I go over,
you'll send a guy to my house
with a flamethrower or something?
(BOTH LAUGH)
No, I'll send a guy to your house
and cut off your wife's little finger.
- See, Vinny, you kill me.
- Have a good day, Dick.
- Take it easy.
- All right.
(DICK LAUGHING)
- Cut off my wife's little finger.
- Sorry to keep you waiting.
You'll kill me.
(ALL LAUGHING)
I think a toast is in order,
a toast is in order.
Okay, no throwing the glasses
in the fireplace though,
we don't want to wake the kids.
Well, the ladies are entitled to
throw their glasses in the fireplace.
To Quitters Incorporated.
Quitters Incorporated.
Quitters Incorporated.
To Quitters Incorporated.
Beat it. Go on, scat! Go on.
(JINGLE PLAYING ON TV)
GIRL: (ON TV)
Come on, Darcy, it's Gobbler time.
Now, you just sit right there.
Gobblers is all that Darcy eats because
it's her mostest, mostest favorite.
Listen to me carefully.
It's still looking for me.
You've got to get back and find it.
You're my only chance.
You're my only chance.
- MAN: Lucky night, Mr. Cressner.
- (CRESSNER SCOFFS)
CRESSNER: Don't jump to any conclusions.
The night ain't over.
(LEVERS CLACKING)
- Good night, Mr. Cressner.
- Good night, sweetheart.
- Richard.
- Yeah, boss.
- Cash these.
- Okay. You got it.
(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)
Buonanotte, Mr. Cressner.
Buonanotte, buonanotte.
Oh, so nice, Mr. Cressner. Thank you.
- Good night, Mr. C.
- Good night, Henry.
- Hey, you spoke to Ducky?
- Yes, sir, Mr. Cressner.
He's got my wife and her friend in view?
Yes, sir, she and the tennis guy
are in a white Mustang convertible.
Ducky's right on it.
He's right behind her.
Good. Good. You're a good man.
(SIGHS)
So, folks, what's it going to be?
Well, Dean Martin is at the Golden Nugget
and I haven't seen Dino Martino
since I was a little girl.
Have you taken care
of your domestic problem?
- Yeah. I got everything well in hand.
- Good.
- Thank you.
- Okay.
- The Golden Nugget will be fine, okay?
- Good.
- Thank you so much.
- Let's go.
- (TIRES SCREECH)
- (CAR HONKS)
Oh, my gosh! Look at that. A cat.
- (TIRES SCREECH)
- (HORN BLARES)
You know, my daddy used to say
that all cats should be drowned
after they stop playing with spools
and stuff.
- Is that what your daddy said?
- Yeah.
Your father must have been
a great humanitarian.
(LAUGHS)
(CAT YOWLING)
(CAR HONKING)
Oh, my gosh!
I bet that cat's gonna get run over.
I got $2,000 says he can make it.
- You're kidding?
- No.
- You're on.
- $2,000 that he can make it.
- Cat's dead. You're on.
- Here you go. Okay?
- You say he makes it, I say he's dead.
- Yeah. All right.
- Okay? I can do anything I want?
- Sure. So can I. Anybody can.
No, no. I can do anything I want,
you don't say a word.
- Go ahead. Yeah.
- You got it. Watch.
Anybody can do anything they want.
- Watch me.
- I'm watching.
Come on, cat.
Come here, kitty, kitty, kitty.
Come on, kitty, kitty.
Come on, little kitty, kitty.
- You guys would bet on anything.
- Yeah. That's what it's all about.
MAN: Come on, kitty, kitty.
Come here, little kitty.
Come on, little kitty, come on.
Here, kitty. Come here, kitty.
- What, for $2,000 you're on my side now?
- Yeah.
Come on. You're the one whose father
was drowning cats, remember?
- Come on, kitty. Come on.
- Come on, kitty. Come to mama.
(HORNS BLARING)
MAN: Don't worry about these big things,
that's special effects.
Come on, kitty.
Okay, okay.
Okay, okay, okay. Okay, okay, okay!
Now. Come on.
(TIRES SCREECH)
- Come on!
- Come on!
Come on! (LAUGHS)
MAN: Come on, kitty, kitty.
(PEOPLE CHEERING)
CRESSNER:
Hey, hey. There he is. There he is.
There's the guy. There's the guy.
You were just lucky.
"Lucky"? I think he knows
you bet against him.
Hey. You win some, you lose some.
Well, you guys go on. Go see Dean Martin.
I'll take this guy home,
give him a bowl of milk.
I think he just earned it.
Goodbye, sweetie.
- You sure you're not coming?
- Goodbye, Dom. Goodbye, kitty.
I got to finish that business
I talked about.
- You want to get me a cab please?
- Have a good time.
Hey, come here.
Get Ducky on the radio.
Tell him to nail the bastard.
- Good night.
- Yes, sir.
JOHNNY: Thanks.
MARCIA: Thank you.
I still don't see why
you can't come with me.
Because we're broke.
When you decided to leave with me,
you descended into a whole new plane
- of financial existence, my dear.
- Oh.
I'm just trying to make
the decompression as painless as possible.
- I don't care.
- I do!
The Armbruster Hotel in New York.
I'll see you there tomorrow night.
- Johnny--
- I've got to wait till the banks open,
so I can crack open one of my piggy banks
to get us some money.
We got to have something to live on.
Look, Johnny, you don't know
how dangerous he is.
You don't even have a clue.
I know exactly what he is, and
that's why you're getting on the bus.
After you give me a kiss.
- Mmm.
- Darling.
Go. Go.
(DOOR CLOSES)
Hey!
It's for horses. Sometimes for cows.
Pigs don't eat it
because they don't know how.
- Boingo!
- (GRUNTS)
Get his keys, come on.
You're in grade-A trouble, buckaroo.
Come on.
Move! Move!
(CAR ENGINE STARTS)
Come on!
(TIRES SCREECHING)
Okay, blow.
Come on, kid.
Hey!
Pigs don't eat it,
because they don't know how.
Boingo!
When Ducky says that, it means shut up.
- Does it?
- Yeah. It's like a joke, you know?
- (GRUNTS)
- (JOHNNY GROANS)
(GROANING)
CRESSNER: Close the door, close the door!
JOHNNY: Ah, shit.
CRESSNER: I've set you up, Mr. Norris.
In 10 minutes, Albert will call the police
and tell them a tale of heroin,
1970 Mustangs,
aging tennis pros with drug records.
You'll be eagerly sought after,
Mr. Norris.
Unless I tell you where Marcia is.
With you gone, she'd come back.
She's got nowhere else to go.
Hmm?
Now as for you, when you get out of jail,
you'll be more concerned
with your arthritis than your libido.
Hmm?
Unless you want to take the wager
I'm offering.
Hmm?
Hey, come here.
Come on.
I want to show you something.
Now look down there
and tell me what you see.
Look, go ahead.
The street.
No, there. There.
A ledge.
- The ledge.
- Look, what is all of this about?
The wager I'm proposing is very simple.
The top of the building is sort of
an architectural monstrosity, huh?
All little nooks and crannies...
Weird wind comes around.
You walk all the way around,
the scag will be removed from the car.
You get the money and you get my wife.
- You're crazy.
- Ha ha!
You lose your balance,
lose your balance once...
(WHOOSHES)
(CRESSNER LAUGHING)
That's the bet, Mr. Norris.
You get the girl, you get the gold watch,
you get everything!
Or you get a lot of straight time
in Rahway Prison.
You welsh on your bets?
I never welshed on a bet in my life.
(CAT MEOWING)
Hey, Sebastian.
Hey, Sebastian.
Sebastian appears to like you.
Maybe that's a good sign, huh?
Huh?
Good, good. Well begun is half done.
(JOHNNY BREATHING HEAVILY)
(SCREAMS)
(PANTING)
(LAUGHS)
The ledge is about five inches wide.
But once you're on it,
it looks more like three, doesn't it?
Two. Two, yeah.
One?
How the hell would you know?
Mr. Norris, you know what I think?
I think you're gonna just stand there
for a while, then climb back up, huh?
I mean, and if your arms still got
the strength left to do that.
I, uh, I don't think you got the guts.
I just don't think you got the guts.
(GASPS)
Boogie, boogie, boogie!
- (LAUGHING)
- (SCREAMS)
You bastard!
I just want to keep you on your toes.
(CONTINUES LAUGHING)
(CRESSNER LAUGHING LOUDLY)
- (MEOWS)
- Oh!
Get out of here.
(SNARLS)
(PANTING)
(GIGGLING)
- (WIND HOWLING)
- (SHUDDERS)
(GASPS)
(SCREAMING)
(GRUNTS)
Boingo.
- (HORN BLARING)
- (SCREAMS)
JOHNNY: You bastard!
Just keeping you on your toes!
(LAUGHING)
JOHNNY: Oh, Jesus!
(CHUCKLING)
(SNARLS)
Hey, what's the matter with you?
Knock it off, huh?
Where's your sense of humor?
(BOTH LAUGH)
Hey.
Buzz off.
(GROANING)
Hey!
Shove off!
Ah!
Ah! Ow!
(SCREAMING)
Oh, God.
Oh, God!
(GROANS)
Ow, you little pecker!
(GROANS)
Ah!
Try this...
You flying shithouse!
(SQUAWKING)
(PANTING)
CRESSNER: Mr. Norris!
(SCREAMING)
(CRESSNER LAUGHING)
What do you think, Mr. Norris?
Is this more fun than human beings
should be allowed to have or what?
I'll kill you!
No, Mr. Norris.
But I will most assuredly kill you
if you don't get moving in 30 seconds!
The valve was only half-open that time.
If I open it all the way,
I'll blow you out of this hole.
Move!
(PANTING)
(SOFTLY) I'll kill you.
Wait and see.
(CREAKING)
- (CREAKING CONTINUES)
- (PANTING)
(GRUNTS)
(SCREAMING)
Oh, God! God!
(SCREAMS)
(GRUNTS)
(GRUNTING)
(PANTING)
CRESSNER: Put it in the shopping bag.
- ALBERT: On top of the money?
- Yeah, put it in the shopping bag.
Okay, put that down there.
All right.
Now you come in when I say,
"All right, all right, Mr. Norris."
You got that?
ALBERT: Yeah, I got it.
"All right, Mr. Norris."
CRESSNER: No, no.
"All right, all right, Mr. Norris."
ALBERT: I got it. "All right, Mr. Norris."
Come on. Forget it. Go ahead.
(GRUNTING)
(PANTING)
CRESSNER:
All right, all right, Mr. Norris.
I told you I don't welsh.
- No?
- No.
I'm just an extremely poor loser.
I promised you three things.
You have your car, clean.
You have the money.
And of course, you have my wife.
(CAT YOWLS)
Jesus!
How do you like that, Mr. Norris?
God!
Albert! Albert!
(GRUNTS)
(GRUNTS)
CRESSNER: Albert!
- (SILENCED GUNSHOT)
- (GRUNTS)
(GRUNTS)
The money, nothing.
Nothing. Chicken feed.
I can get you $100,000.
$500,000!
Huh?
A million, Norris.
In a Swiss bank. How about that?
How about that?
$1 million.
I don't think so!
Two million! Two million!
No.
I got an idea.
I'll make you a little bet.
It's not a wager
because I'm not a big fancy hood like you.
I'm just an over-the-hill tennis bum...
(PANTING)
...with a dead girlfriend.
No, it's just a simple little bet.
CRESSNER: Five million! Five million! Eh?
(CRESSNER WHIMPERING)
I'll give you anything you want.
You're right, Mr. Cressner,
this is a lot of fun.
You got to be joking, Norris. Come on!
It's a joke! Tell me it's a joke!
Tell me it's a joke--
Don't shoot!
(SCREAMING)
Oh! Oh!
Just keeping you on your toes,
Mr. Cressner.
Keep moving.
(CRESSNER SOBS)
The next one might be a lot closer.
Move!
CRESSNER: Norris, you son of a bitch!
(WHIMPERING)
(SCREAMING)
Get out of here!
Get out! Get out!
(SCREAMING)
(CRESSNER CONTINUES SCREAMING)
(BODY THUDS)
(HORNS BLARING)
- (PANTING)
- (BELLS JANGLING)
TROLL: Oh!
(TROLL CONTINUES PANTING)
(AMANDA LAUGHING)
(TROLL GROANS)
(TROLL GIGGLES)
TROLL: Oh!
HUGH: Don't splash Daddy
when Daddy's got the hose.
MOM: Come on, you two. Lunchtime.
- (AMANDA SCREAMS)
- (MOM GIGGLES)
MOM: Come here, Amanda.
Let's get some of that soap off.
A cat!
MOM: Hey!
AMANDA: Can we keep it? Can we keep it?
MOM: No. It probably belongs to somebody.
MOM: Amanda, wait until I get a broom.
Amanda, don't! Wait a minute!
Amanda!
(CHIRPS)
Amanda, don't touch that cat.
It could bite you.
It's not gonna bite me, it likes me.
I want to keep him. No, don't.
MOM: Amanda, we can't keep every single
stray that comes into this house.
It could have a disease.
But what if we have the vet check him?
If the vet checks him out and says
there's nothing wrong with him
and no one comes to get him,
then can we please have him?
- Please? Please? Pretty please?
- (BIRD FLUTTERING)
With sugar on top?
What's your name?
I can't hear you.
Are you gonna guard me? I hope so.
But, Mom, can't General stay
in my room tonight?
- MOM: No.
- Please?
No, the policy in this house
does not include bedroom privileges.
- AMANDA: But, Mom... Mom...
- Come on now, bedtime.
AMANDA: Good night, General.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS ON TV)
(GUNSHOT FIRES ON TV)
(SCREAMING ON TV)
(SCREAMING)
MOM: Amanda, could you turn off
that TV set? I'd like to talk to you.
(TV TURNS OFF)
That cat was in your bedroom last night,
wasn't he?
- Mmm-mmm.
- Uh-huh.
I found cat hairs all over your bedspread,
and a lot of your dolls were knocked over.
- Was he?
- Mmm-hmm.
I dreamed he was. Far out.
Yeah. Well, he's really gonna be "far out"
if that happens again because
I'm gonna send him to the animal shelter.
But, Mom, you can't do that!
That's not fair.
Have you given
one minute's thought to Polly?
AMANDA: General loves Polly.
They get along great.
MOM: Birds and cats
do not get along great,
in case you haven't watched
Sylvester and Tweety Bird on television.
(CHIRPING)
General wouldn't do a thing to hurt Polly.
He's non-violent.
(BIRD SQUAWKS)
Well, I think it's really early
to decide that.
And I'd just wish you'd understand.
Also, um, your mom just happened to have
a conference call with Nana last evening
and Nana told your mom
that cats steal kids' breath.
Why would General take my breath
if he has his own?
Oh, well... "You have to put
all the animals outside in the night.
"I mean, especially the cat animals.
"Because if you don't,
they climb up and sit on your chest
"and suck all your breath out
like this..."
- (PURRING)
- (GIGGLES)
- That is very, very helpful, Hugh.
- Oh, thank you very much.
Aw.
Now, come on.
Sit down and have your breakfast.
No! No. Jokes about my mother's accent
in the morning
just have this way of killing my appetite.
"Non-violent," my ass.
AMANDA: Mom...
I'm sorry we laughed at Nana.
But couldn't--
No! The subject is closed.
Bus in 15 minutes.
(BUS ENGINE IDLING)
(MEOWING)
(DOOR CLOSES)
Mom, can't General just stay with me
until I fall asleep?
No! No. Don't forget those back teeth.
That's where most of the food gets stuck.
- Get the backs.
- (WATER FLOWING)
- Hi, doll.
- Hi, Daddy.
Hmm.
You know, Amanda,
it'd be a lot easier for me
to get General back in the house
if I knew what these bad dreams
were all about.
AMANDA: Why?
"Why?" Because when you play the violin,
little girl,
everybody listens, including your mom.
So, come on, tell me.
Well, I can only remember
that there's a monster in it.
A monster? What's he like?
Do you know that story about the goats?
The Three Billy Goats Gruff?
- That's the one.
- Mmm-hmm.
Well, this one lives
in my wall right there.
HUGH: Hmm.
But General kept those dreams away
last night.
Can't he come in for good, Daddy, please?
You know, Amanda,
your mom is really serious about this.
Yeah, I know.
Just like getting your back teeth,
that's where the food gets stuck
and cats stealing kids' breath.
Well, my making fun of Nanny's accent
at the breakfast table this morning
probably didn't get us off
to the best of starts,
but, um, I might be able
to bring your mother around.
- No promises, but maybe.
- No promises.
Uh...
You know, Amanda, um,
there are no real monsters.
Yeah, I guess I do.
Okay. Go to sleep now.
No bad dreams.
No bad dreams.
(DOOR CLOSES)
You know, I think she was beginning to cry
when I kissed her good night tonight.
(SIGHS)
Come on, Hugh.
Now, what do you say we talk about it
just a little bit more, huh?
Hugh, I just don't trust that cat.
(MEOWING)
(RATTLING)
(TROLL MUMBLING)
(SNEEZES)
(POLLY CHIRPING)
(TROLL CONTINUES MUMBLING)
(RATTLING)
(TROLL GIGGLING)
- (TROLL GRUNTING)
- (CRACKING)
(TROLL GRUNTS LOUDER)
(CHIRPS)
(GRUNTING CONTINUES)
(GROWLING)
(LAUGHS)
(MUMBLES)
(GIGGLING)
(TROLL CHUCKLES)
(CHIRPING)
(GROANS)
(CHIRPING CONTINUES)
(TROLL LAUGHING)
(TROLL PANTING)
(GROWLS)
(GASPS)
(TROLL GRUNTS)
(SNARLING)
(MEOWS)
- (SNARLS)
- (SCREAMS)
(SCREAMS)
(GRUNTS)
(GRUNTS)
(SQUEALS)
(TROLL LAUGHING)
- HUGH: What was that?
- What was that?
(GROANS) I don't know. I'll go.
(TROLL GRUNTS)
General? Is that you?
(MEOWS LOUDLY)
(GIGGLING)
(MEOWS AND LAUGHS)
Polly!
Mandy!
Polly's dead.
(CRYING)
The monster in my wall killed Polly.
MOM: Oh, no!
- I knew it!
- (AMANDA SOBBING)
I knew it!
It's okay.
(AMANDA CRYING)
I told you this would happen.
Look at this!
HUGH: It's okay. It's okay.
- She's convinced the cat didn't do it.
- Yes, I know.
She's convinced that it was a troll
that got tired of living under a bridge
and has now moved into her wall.
But she is eight and you're 38,
and that cat's tracks
were on her windowsill in Polly's blood.
Now, are you gonna take care of Polly
or do you want me to?
(DOOR OPENS)
Well, here he goes, killer.
(MEOWS)
You know, I would have thought
that you'd have cleared out of here
by now, too.
You know your welcome
is getting pretty threadbare, hmm?
Come here.
What have we got here?
Who did that to you?
Hmm?
Hey, the cat has got
a wound on his shoulder.
So what?
I don't know, uh.
Seems like a big wound.
Yeah, well, Polly got in one good peck
before that cat killed him.
Good for Polly.
Uh-huh.
I certainly never realized
that Polly had such a big pecker.
You know, you better get ready for work.
You're going to be late.
(ENGINE STARTING)
(CAN OPENER WHIRRING)
(MEOWING)
Stay right there.
Come on.
Looky, look. Good food.
Come on.
Come on, kitty, kitty, kitty.
Mama's got your favorite food.
Come on, you furry little bastard.
Come on. Come on.
(SIGHS)
Going.
Going.
Your bird-killing days are over,
my friend.
AMANDA: General!
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
General!
General!
General!
(SIGHS)
(JINGLING)
(DOGS BARKING)
(CATS YOWLING)
Tomorrow's your big day, fellow.
(MEOWING)
Do you think General ran away
because you thought he killed Polly?
Honey, cats don't think.
General does, and he knows that you think
that cats steal kids' breath!
(CAT MEOWING)
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
(TROLL GRUNTING)
- (BELLS JINGLING)
- (GIGGLING)
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
(MOANS)
Oh.
(CHUCKLES)
Oh.
(CHUCKLING)
(SNIFFS)
(GROANS) Bleh!
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
(EXCLAIMS)
(GIGGLES)
- (MEOWS)
- Hey! Hey!
(GRUNTS)
(SCREAMS)
Mmm.
(GRUMBLING)
(GRUNTS)
(GROANING)
(TIRES SCREECH)
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
(GASPS)
(INHALING)
(COUGHING)
(GROWLING)
(AMANDA COUGHING)
(GROWLS)
- (YOWLS)
- (GRUNTS)
- (SNARLS)
- (TROLL SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
(COUGHING)
- (TROLL SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
- (YOWLS)
(GRUNTS)
(COUGHING)
(YOWLING CONTINUES )
(GRUNTING CONTINUES )
(CHOKING)
(SCREAMING)
(GASPS) Oh! What was that?
(AMANDA CONTINUES SCREAMING)
Mommy!
(COUGHING)
(SCREAMS)
(COUGHING)
- AMANDA: Mommy!
- Amanda!
MOM: Get out of my way! Amanda!
- (KNOCKING)
- (MOM SCREAMING)
(HUGH AND MOM SCREAMING)
- (YOWLING)
- (GROWLING)
- (KNOCKING CONTINUES)
- HUGH: Amanda!
Amanda!
(SNARLS)
(YOWLS)
(SNARLS)
(GRUNTING)
Get him, General! Get him!
(SNARLS)
Ah! Hang on.
Oh, no!
Ah!
(THUNDER RUMBLES)
(WHIMPERING)
(PANTING)
(GRUNTS)
AMANDA: Come on! Don't let him get away!
MOM: Please!
- Amanda!
- (KNOCKING CONTINUES)
It's Mommy and Daddy, we're not angry.
(ANGRILY) Hugh, what is wrong?
Why won't this door open?
Come on, General. Get him!
(LAUGHING)
Uh-oh!
No!
(SCREAMS)
AMANDA: Come on, General, you can do it!
(TROLL SCREAMING)
AMANDA: Cream him! Cream him!
(PANTING)
(GROANING)
AMANDA: Watch out, General, watch out!
Come on, get him!
Amanda!
General's fighting the monster!
MOM: Amanda!
(GRUNTS)
(GROANING)
(EVERY BREATH YOU TAKE
PLAYING ON RECORD PLAYER)
(GRUNTING)
Play it faster!
(EVERY BREATH YOU TAKE
PLAYING FASTER)
(SCREAMING)
Play it faster!
(EVERY BREATH YOU TAKE
PLAYING VERY FAST)
(SCREAMING)
(METAL CLANKING)
AMANDA: General!
Amanda!
Where did he come from?
Where did he come from? Give me that cat.
Amanda!
- Give me that cat!
- Quiet!
(MUSIC STOPS)
It wasn't General
that was trying to take my breath.
It was the monster, and General fixed him.
You've got to believe me!
Amanda, where did it go?
General played him
on the record player and...
Swoosh! Zoom!
Into the fan and he got smushed.
(HUGH GROANS)
MOM: Oh, my God!
HUGH: Yuck!
MOM: Hugh, what do you think it is?
(HUGH SIGHS)
That's where he came from. Right there!
Right there in my wall
just like I told you.
Amanda, whatever it was
that was in the wall, um, was it alone?
- I mean, did it have any friends?
- I only saw one.
MOM: Hugh? We're not going
to tell anybody about this.
HUGH: Are you kidding?
Amanda, promise me...
Promise me that you won't tell
any of your friends about this, okay?
Well, that depends.
MOM: "Depends"? Depends on what?
On whether or not I can keep General.
- And sleep with me at night.
- Amanda, that's blackmail.
(PURRS)
(CREAKING)
Hi.
(RAY STEVENS SINGING CAT'S EYE)
English-SDH